#and i cannot
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hey boss i'm not going to be in today. yeah, no, I have plans to have a mental breakdown in the dollar section at target that i can't reschedule, sorry
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#there are so many things happening#and my#disabled#body cannot keep up anymore#we live in a dystopia#and i cannot#disability#disabilities#spoonie#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#epilepsy#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome#zebra#c punk#crip punk#cripple punk#cpunk#actually disabled#actually epileptic
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Real footage of @kaaaaaaarf and I listening to this song
#IT IS REMUS#REMUS POST WAR#AND I CANNOT#tears on my face#my tears are gonna cause flooding all over the country#farfy tag#Spotify
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okay okay okay excuse the shitty screenshots but
is this moment supposed to be Joel, Abby and Tommy? That silhouette does look like Pedro...
But that jacket doesn't match the one Tommy has on with the wound on his head
so either that is another scene or I have no idea and I don't wanna have ideas... But also that's Maria:
so wtf
#this is just crack analysing#cause wtf#I just don't wanna think of pedro in that scene#it's painful enough as it is#if I see pedro “soft eyes” pascal in pain Im gonna lose it#I will be crying bitch baby tears#I will be dreading that day that episode airs#but also why no teasing about the dino museum scene#are we not gonna get that this season#are we only gonna get pain?#part 2 spoilers#season 2 trailer#tlou 2 spoilers#joel miller#tlou#the last of us#tlou 2 trailer#tommy miller#tlou 2#joel and tommy#We will see Tommy grieving#and I cannot#also please please let them let tommy have a child please#that has so much potential
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Commence wailing gnashing of teeth crying yelling sobbing no no no no how will I get through next week.
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I really need Jag to go in the double like PLS. Rooting for America or Cirie to make it happen.  Like he seems like a nice guy or whatever but I’m sry but he’s just not good at the game or fun to watch. His only strategy is comp wins…. IM BORED
#if he gets to the end#there’s gonna be talks about him being the best player to win#and I CANNOT#cbs big brother#bb25
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ah but palworld this ripoff that
listen I'm just sitting here laughing my fucking ass off because they chose the worst name for the damn things calling them pals and the game has a brazilian portuguese translation and it is just. hilarious and i can guarantee the team translating it could not take it seriously for even a moment (this is great news)
bless them, being able to unleash your fifth grade spirit and make money is the dream
#lil pt-br lesson for you: 'pau' is slang for dick. penis. dingdong.#you see where this is going#this game out here bringing us sentences like#“there was a massive cock in the cave!”#“a swarm of wild people-eating cocks!”#“it's been a while since i met someone who doesn't smell like cock”#i haven't played it but i've watched streamers play it#and i CANNOT#palworld
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It is 5:45 A.M and you will already not believe the morning I've been having
#i woke up at 5:30 btw#i have my economics midterm today#i was studying for it yesterday but#i LOST#the NOTEBOOK#in which i made my entite syllabus' worth of notes#I STUCK GRAPHS IN MY ROUGH NOTEBOOK#AND I LOST IT#thst plus a reference book i was using for my second subject#we have#macroeconomics#and#indian#economic development#and i lost the indian economic development guide#and i cannOT#study from#ncert#it is a pain in the ass#and i wake up today#to literal bl00d on my nails#because a hangnail i had pulled off in the middle of the night#and my dads been sneezing relentlessly#and not only do i hate how it sounds#he has no concept of hygiene#so jt smell terrible#sounds terrible#and ks terrible#bc we got covid fROM HIM IN 21#ugh
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how the FUCK
does Larissa's hair work
#i have been trying for the past like half hour#and i cannot#figure it out#send help#larissa weems why must you be so hot and difficult to draw
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me, yesterday: i got some projects done so i am finally starting to feel a little less overwhelmed at work!
work, today: gives me 5 new projects in the span of 8 hours
me: well nevermind 🫠🫠🫠🫠
#personal#my manager and my boss know and understand that we're slammed and have been slammed since january#and they're trying#but everyone thinks their shit is important so we keep getting request after request#i swore i was gonna take a day off in march bc i've been feeling so stressed and overwhelmed and burnt out#DIDN'T DO IT. TOO BUSY.#friday is a holiday and i've been holding out for that for two months#so i finally gave in and asked my manager if i could take monday off too#bc i thought i had stuff under control#aaaand then i get like 7 new things all due first week of april 🫠😭#and my brother said we could go visit them on saturday so my parents are going and i looked at them last night and i said i wasn't#no room for debate just that i was not going to go drive 3+ hrs and sit around my brother's house all day#when i just saw them#bc i am so exhausted at my very core and i have been holding out for a peaceful 3 (now 4) day weekend for months#and i cannot#i just can't#i always bend and break to do what everyone else wants me to do or what i think they want me to do#and this time i just can't
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No, you see but the TRUST Buck has in Eddie to just take one look at him and do and say exactly what he needs.
More specifically what he ASKS for.
To give him agency.
To let him choose the couch.
#911 fox#911#911 spoilers#no I can't seem to stop#don't ask me why#brain just sat with the episode for a couple of hours#now brain goes brrrrrr#I have to go to bed now#but I can't FUCKING STOP#gnawing off the edge of my desk#there's no one in the world I trust my son with more than you#and Buck doesn't have a son to entrust to Eddie (yet) but he has HIMSELF#and I CANNOT
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Delmas does not deal with assault the way one might expect, is what I am learning while I revise this thing.
Like this man has been touched inappropriately by too many things, some of whom said they loved him during, so his response when it happens again is not breaking down or trying to get away, it's getting mad and yelling about it (not punching, which would be a logical thing he could absolutely do about it).
And it's interesting to see...on account of I didn't do that on purpose, but I do remember the catharsis of writing it.
I hope you guys are interested in a mild exploration of the effects of abuse because you're getting it in this book...and not just from him (and not just that sort of abuse, we have many flavors).
#writing rambles#i am trying to think of a single thing i've written where someone wasn't dealing with a form of abuse#and i cannot#didn't realize that was my theme#fun times#wait the lesbian ghost story didn't have any#i have one then#one story without abuse#it's about death and grief instead
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RE: The finding a hobby that saves me- Why can I never like cooking or working out, or something useful?
Also the knowing how to do everything a little, but not being good at any one thing because you won't put the time into any one thing.
#Ask me to tell you something I am good at#and I cannot#Like maybe stuff I do at work because they somehow pay me enough to live off of it which I still can't believe#but even then#I don't specialize in any one thing#i just generally run things and happen to be the person who knows how everything works#so its more of an I've been there long enough to learn than a skills thing#Oh I am good at procrastinating but still getting everything I need to done#that's a skill right?#life#rambling
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I usually sincerely consider characters get my attention is their misfortune. Sorry.
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I want to write SO BADLY but I haven’t been able to since I got a different computer. It’s like all my inspiration was packed into that 12 year old macbook Pro bc now I’m staring at two WIPs just. blankly. HELP
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The year of the "I am so good at color now"
#yol tor shul#trying to figure out what prompted me to improve in art this time#and i cannot#but i am loving how i color now
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Getting the overwhelming urge to watch spn.
#and i cannot#not sure when i can#or how i’ll know#but god i’m hoping someday i can#i love this show#i want to be involved with it again#i want to watch it#i want to write my fics
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