#not a clue if those are the right tags
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Apparently discord's no longer viable as a hosting site, so re-hosting this here. Drawn for the Extreme Timed Challenge MCYT Gift Exchange (2023)
#mcyt#dsmp#the syndicate#technoblade#philza#ranboo#nihachu#no clue if those are the right tags but eh good nuff#avi draws#was doing some maintenance on my ao3 and went :0!
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seeing a lot of folks describe their 3k+ fics as "drabbles" 🙄🤦....
.... the term you're looking for is: "ficlet" or "oneshot"
#fanfiction#i am begging y'all to know about which you speak#ao3#.txt#tagging#the amount of authors on ao3 mentioning in the fic notes 'this is just a drabble' and it's between 1k and 5k. like. what??? idk#where you guys picked up the meaning of drabble from but pls know it is wrong. drabbles are usually a paragraph in length.#pls try to use the right terms for fic bc that shit is a slippery slope into harmfully ignorant tagging for tropes and themes#if you can't tag properly then readers can't search for those fics or filter them out of their search properly. be considerate.#get a clue. don't simply regurgitate shit bc you're too lazy to google what it actually means.
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i thought it would be nice to share two projects i made in art class this semester!
title: angel of change
this one's a fun collage/sculpture about the positive and negative changes one can go through when starting college! featuring a nervous little peg person on the road, a surge of waves, and a biblically accurate pet rock angel smoking a cigarette
title: wing surfaces of morpho didius
and this is a sculpture of a morpho butterfly! with its ventral wing surfaces (the visible side of the wings) painted realistically, and with its dorsal wing surfaces (the hidden side of the wings) covered with messily-colored butterfly coloring book pages. the idea here is that my fascination with butterflies, despite being very scientific now, is still one imbued with naïveté, playfulness, and childlike wonder :)
#dandy's doodles#<- i keep changing my art tag. i might want to change it again. because not all of my art is drawings :'D#sculpture#collage#butterfly#i guess those are all the tags i need?? i don't really care. this is really for my followers/mutuals anyway <3#the butterfly sculpture was so annoying to make...#it's cardboard + wire + hot glue + paper mache + tempera paint + tacky glue + printer paper + oil pastels. augh#the worst part was that the paper mache (cuz it was wet) was disintegrating the cardboard base as i was putting it on#which meant one of the wings fell off and i had to reattach it#but then it dried with the wings too closed#i ended up working with it but ideally the inside of the wings would be more easily visible. oh well#i really like how both of these turned out :) though i have no clue what i'll do with them#they're still in the art room right now. but i'm dorming (no space) and my house is a cluttered mess (no space)#i honestly wouldn't mind leaving them there if i'm allowed to but ideally i'd take them... hm.......
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Relapsing is a part of healing
[one systems perspective on relapsing during Resolution/late stage DID recovery.]
This post has been cooking in my drafts for a while, but since I'm back in a headspace where I would consider myself back in Resolution, I'm comfortable talking about this. I'm airing out my dirty laundry quite a bit in this post, but the reason I'm making this post is because of the fact I don't see many late stage recovery systems talk about relapsing back into dissociation and other CDD symptoms. I'm here to say it's totally okay and a part of healing. I don't know who needs to hear that, but I definitely did. I didn't hear it until i was in therapy.
A couple of months ago [when I was initially writing this post], I went through a series of traumatic events, including little over 3 weeks of reoccurring flashbacks due to a re-traumatizing situation. I have lovingly dubbed it 'the three weeks of hell'. There was more than just that, including 2 explosive breakdowns, where I just couldn't handle all the input I was getting with what all was going on. I was a whole wreck for a moment there, that's for sure. THANKFULLY, we only split off a one new alter after everything, which is healing progress, but it meant an increase in blackout amnesia in our day to day life, let alone the dissociation it was causing the system as a whole, nearly putting us back at step one of recovery.
The moment I noticed the blackout amnesia and increase in DID symptoms, I started thinking I had ruined any progress I could've possibly made. It felt like I had taken ten steps forward and then tumbled down the stairs. I never got to process the trauma as it just began to pile on, and eventually I popped in probably the worst explosive breakdown I've EVER had- my fight or flight kicked in and for gods know what reason, my brain chose fight. But that breakdown had solidified that 'fuck, I'm getting worse again' mentality I had going on. Everyone I knew seemed to 'keep it together' during rough times, so why couldn't I?
So that brought me to this post.
I wondered why I don't see talk of relapse in Late Stage Recovery spaces, let alone general CDD spaces. I figure, in my mind, that it's because it just isn't talked about. At least, not frequently. In the space I have curated for myself, I see a lot of fellow late stage recovery systems and finally fused systems, but everyone seems to not have relapsed at any point. Granted, this is the internet, and people show what they want others to see, but I felt ashamed for a good while that I had relapsed back into the amnesiac aspects of my dissociation. I didn't feel like I could call the stage of healing I am in 'late stage recovery'. But that's just. not true. I still am. My healing is ongoing, and I was able to resolve it.
In recovery for many disorders, relapses are, inherently, a part of the process of healing. Symptoms resurfacing is, to some extent, part of healing. Everyone is bound to have slip ups and rough times, and if your go to coping mechanism is dissociation [in CDDs cases], it's possible that you might slip back into those maladaptive mechanisms due to the stress of life happenings, but that's okay. What is needed is to learn the proper coping skills to deal with that stress, but it can be extremely hard to unlearn maladaptive coping skills and make turning towards healthy ones a default. Relapsing gives you the time to reinforce and build up what skills you do have.
When the three weeks of hell was occurring, I didn't exactly have the coping skills necessary to keep on with life, and any I did have, they were not 'automatic' enough. On top of that, my therapist was conveniently out of office for those three weeks. It did give me the time to make my skills stronger. Of course, I felt terrible about it but Relapsing is okay. As long as you learn how to deal with the stress and trauma, that's what matters. I'm still learning how to properly cope with everything that happened during those weeks, to be blunt, but I have gained a grasp on Resolution pretty quickly afterwards. I don't think it would've been possible to recover so easily had I not been in late stage recovery, and like I said before, it helped reinforce my coping skill box, making them stronger and much easier to recall. I definitely would say that relapsing was a part of my healing. Didn't feel good, but it became a huge factor in how we cope day to day.
TLDR; Relapsing during Resolution [Functional Multiplicity/Final fusion] is a part of recovery itself.
#Does any of this make sense? No clue- Im not good at articulating my thoughts#Ofc. I'm sure not everyone feels bad about relapsing. but I mean. I know I can't be the only one out there.#My therapist and I had talked about this in a different context bc I felt upset about the relapse into my DID symptoms#So I figured I'd make a post abt my experiences. obvs not every system goes through this. but I certainly am not alone#did recovery#didrecovery#didresolution#did system#actually did#dissociative identity disorder#sysconversation#<- I hope Im using that tag right#final fusion#functional multiplicity#<- we r p much both of those at the same time. hence why we call it resolution. I'd make a post on it. but I've seen a lot of similar takes#the bugz speak
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kudos to all kimchay writers!!! y'all are doing a great job🫡👏❤️
#jeff satur#even jeffy agrees-#wonder what fics he read and what genres he likes#based on what we know of his interests#def any periodic or fantasy or thriller crime ones!!!#no comments on smut cause i have no clue if he'd enjoy that#i think some fluff in the middle wouldnt mind cause hes a soft babie#also any queer based like that one trans!kim where khun and kinn are very protective over him#and they subtly try to figure out chays intentions#or maybe he might enjoy the brotherly bonding ones too#y'all no comments on omegaverse though i think he'd be trauma by it-#but also pitbabe exists so again no idea#also where did he read them on twt tumble ao3???#and were they thai or english? cause i dont know thai so i have 0idea if thai kimchay fics exist which i dont doubt they do#but curiosity i guess#omg what if he has read cotton candy crush-#or omg he said actors right#what about that kimchay au where theyre both actors and kimgame are besties#akdksjsj omg i hope he found shous art cause those are spectacular sorrynotsorry#omg so many possibilities i will run out of tags on here#idk rambles#maybe ill continue this on another post#kimchay#kinnporsche the series#kimhan theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd
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kicking my feet and twirling my hair
Don't mind me, just giggling about a Transformers graphic that I made.
#hot rod#rodimus prime#hot rod transformers#rodimus idw#I think?#macaddam#maccadams#macadams#maccadam#still have no clue which one of those tags is the right one...
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Elena:My pronouns are what/ever/major/loser, now get out of my room!
Felix:Yeah, I told loser it's time for dinner. (gets smacked) Ow, quit it, I'm respecting your pronouns!
#source:tumblr#black survival incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#eternal return incorrect quotes#can we get more people doing erbs incorrect quotes so the tag autosaves. for me in particular#(no clue if that's how it works i just know that tag refuses to auto-suggest)#elenablacksurvival#felixblacksurvival#i've made other quotes of those two right. this isn't the only one#GUESS WHAT GUYS! I CANNOT FIND ANY QUOTES FOR THEM!#CONGRATULATIONS ELENA AND FELIX THIS IS BOTH OF YOUR FIRST QUOTES#im having that kind of anxiety that makes me have zero filter rn so i'm gonna talk about them#i'm usually always open for lgbt head cannons for characters. see above:magnus#(i think it's hilarious to make him be a gay misogynist still even if i know my old takes were mostly. well#the kind of stuff that happens if you give a high person a 200mg edible?)#but i incredibly do not buy felix as being not straight. sorry singular felix fan#not a diss. i'm the singular zahir fan i getchu#elena i buy in the way i. see above. buy magnus. i buy her being a lesbian who hates men#but also idk i incredibly do not think those two can be lgb. i never deny a character being t though#felix could have tboy swag sure#i KNOW he also has used his spear like a witch's broom as a joke at least once
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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i am really never going to understand why people post "shifting antis dni" in the astral projection tag. "here practice that constantly gets appropriated by us and used as a weird justification for a new set of beliefs that aren't really based in the same reality you work with, and that also gets completely misunderstood by our community because we don't care to understand what you do and just pretend we know it's what we do like christians saying other religions worship the christian god, have a post! Also dni if you don't like our practice that has nothing to do with the one whose tag we just shoved this into"
if you're not astral projecting don't put shit in the ap tag. if you don't even know the difference between AP and RS I dont think your opinion holds enough weight to counter the pushback against flooding a separate practice's tag with "if you dont like the practice I'm talking about in your tags dni"
#I mean on the other hand I sure am Not Interacting my god#Im not of the opinion RS isnt a thing. I know its a thing - its a complex programming of mental spaces that branches off of#actually. I wont say it branches off things. Its its own thing like autovisions dreams mindspaces and other simulations - but it is#ultimately mindwalking - or whatever term someone else would want to use I just coined that for myself. It's travelling and projecting#into the Mental Realm. which is. explicitly. not the Astral realm. It's still a thing! It's not lucid dreaming or imagination. Very much th#early stages of it and experiences of those who cant programme the reactive mental into settling are gonna be lucid dreams and#imagination - just like what happens when youre not good at AP. but like. it's. a fucking. separate practice#and i do not understand flooding tags that arent what youre talking about and then saying ''dni if you dont like what im talking about''#like yeah theres an element of ''dont blame people for how others treat them'' - its not a case of ''you piss people off and then expect#them to not hate you?'' its explicitly a case of... you are continuously misunderstanding AP and using it as a backing#for your own practices and mixing up the two showing you have fucking No idea what youre doing with AP... so how else are we#supposed to take RS other than ''its a complete misunderstanding of AP and clearly it isnt even developed enough as a practice nor#based on enough truth to have its practitioners have the slightest clue about off-plane and OOB practices... if this is what RSers think of#the world and how it works and this is the depths of their understanding of it I cant support Shifting as anything more than#fantasy with vague references to established practices used incorrectly as justification''#~abyssal murmurs#like. tldr. youre putting it in the way of a tonne fo Anti Shifters because a) youre putting it in the tags of an art your art steals#justification from and chronically chooses to misunderstand and walks all over and b) you're showing a complete disrespect to the#practice of AP by posting this in the tags showing that your ''information'' and ''teaching'' is so misinformed you think AP and RS#are the same thing... so of course people are going to see that and think negatively of your practice. Not out of spite - but as a reaction#in the way of you are showing us that your practice is shallow and misunderstood#Look! If i walk into a jewish theology lesson and the speaker is convinced christianity and judaism are the same religion#to the point that when they post on social media they tag both when they talk about either... it looks like that speaker is clueless if the#cant even getthe basics of ''So what is it that I'm teaching about?'' answered right. If you cant even define the boundaries#of your practice as ''this is our practice this isnt'' then why is anyone going to think what youre teaching is real and grounded#and worth listening to and anything more than a crock of shite based on sounding mystical and Love and Light and freeing#at the cost of turning your mind off to just Believe what youre doing is grounded outside the mental??? why would people NOT#see these posts and BECOME antis
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I finished Immortality. That was... an experience. As usual, the acting was just superb, Barlow's games are always so well casted. All the movies felt like real movies that could had been in theaters. But definately the thing that makes the game memorable is all the hidden stuff. It starts out kind of spooky and eery, "Who/What the hell is haunting these movies?", but then it's just intriguing, "Okay, what really is going on??". Hopefully Barlow reuses the mechanic of hidden scenes on some future game.
Tho I gotta say, I personally prefer the search bar mechanic from his past games, having to click on a light or a pot plant in the background of a scene over and over started feeling a bit boring at one point.
#immortality#spoilers#gaming tag#I think clicking on the image can be done right but it would need more interesting objects and secret clues planted in the videos imo#there were some of those but too many random ones
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Kicking my feet and twirling my hair as I read Makoto's comments whenever he inspects something. Also my god he wants to destroy the cameras so badly. LET HIM
#ooc ramblings.#alex replays danganronpa //#i wouldn't be surprised if he has a full-on chair moment but with a camera (those who know tsukihime understand)#also random thought as I play through the game: isn't it interesting and ironic that Makoto in a way became Junko's hope?#tag essay coming up LMFAO#what she wants most of all is something unpredictable; it's why she dove right into the chaos of what she considers despair.#how she can predict and analyze everything perfectly drove her to be bored beyond belief. but there is an exception to that: Makoto and his#luck. and it's specifically Makoto's luck-- Komaeda's luck for example is comprehendable to her. but not the giganormie's#he's the ultimate wild card. it's not that he had an absolute chance of foiling her plans as much as she just had no clue what would happen#with him in the mix and she kept him around because of that possibility/unknown. to Junko Makoto is THE unknown and unpredictable future#and the idea of him foiling her plans would bring her despair. an incredible despair. and she loves despair so that's just a positive#to her. something to ironically hope for#man. Junko is just a fantastic antagonist and her dynamic with Makoto is so fascinating! I love her
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Apparently there's a fic reading challenge thing this year, but after doing a quick skim of the goals... we don't think we'll be touching it with a ten-foot stick. Some of these goals put a VERY bad taste in our mouth. The idea of a "diversity checklist" isn't supposed to be... literal, we don't think? No? We're remembering that one quote about "listening to people of color being like eating your vegetables for white activists" and we're feeling like it may actually have been understating whatever the hell is going on here.
#we speak#also really funny to be seeing shit like “read fic from a fandom with under 250 works”. buddy we're WRITING for one of those#but also like. “read a fic where the main character is BIPOC”. “read a fic where the main character is neurodivergent"#“read a fic that passes the bechdel test”.#like we get the INTENT we guess but we're not in the target audience AT ALL#and a whole fuckin lot of the goals here are very romance focused up against us a guy who deliberately filters out ships#we're also really concerned that “passes the bechdel test” is a bar for fic but also we know The Scene here#and “passing the mako mori test”. is indeed a difficult one to find in a lot of fandoms#as someone who tends to like female characters we notice this. A Fucking Lot#we are so insanely picky with fic bc even with ao3's tagging system we need to slog through dozens of fics to find one good one#and a lot of the time we. REALLY don't have the patience for fic that doesn't have decent depictions for the gals#you have no clue how much zel da fic especially we drop for being Really Fucking Weird About Gender (in a bad way)#sometimes we forget that people exist in bigger fandoms that actually have fic reading habits like this#we feel like we're in another dimension. what do you mean you guys live like this#also what. does “deals heavily (and healthily) with a mental illness” mean. you guys arent just reading this to eat ur vegetables right?#...right???#anyways reading through things like “read fics with all the major LGBTQIA2 identities” is giving us hives#if you read our fic then we beg of you read it because it sounds like it has a nice plot not just like. because Some Guy is ace or intersex#please. gender identity should NOT be that much of a priority. read through and flag on the weird gender shit and go “oh thats queer!”#or “oh thats like me” or “oh (whatever)” but please. there are so many things here more relevant than shit like sexuality.#we need to go read through our fics and make sure we dont have any overly modern lingo in there#if you want to know about a characters sexuality or gender identity figure it out yourself from. fuck we dont know. psychic beams.#though we rationally know the reason that things in modern queer spaces are so often Like This its still poison to our brain#and we want nothing to do with it#negative chatter
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Uh-oh. This is bad
#For some reason I always end up predicting my life events through the fiction I write or read with scary accuracy#especially if everything I’m writing/consuming “feels right” and like I’m being pulled into it#I was just pulled into The Metamorphosis and woke up in the middle of the night to finish reading it#I think I know who that book applies to#And now this book… hm#Don’t like that#unreality#magical thinking#tagging as that just in case but it’s happened before multiple times#They’re not necessarily actual premonitions; they’re me subconsciously piecing together a puzzle of clues#that all lead to me figuring out the most likely series of events to follow#Maybe I’ve heard in-depth information about these books before; but only remember it in the back of my mind#so that the front of my mind cannot recall; and have only been guided by what I’ve heard whispered back there#a subconscious switch gets thrown at the critical point and I’m drawn to it#I knew what happened and what was going to happen in 2018 back in 2017 from my sketchbooks and story outlines#I read Crime and Punishment and like clockwork events very similar to what had happened in the book started happening to me#It worked backwards for awhile from 2019–2021 after I got caught#Every time I happened to glance at a clock; there was either a 4 or a 20 or a 24 on the display. Always. No exceptions.#This went on for months. Those numbers were part of a spell I wrote and recited over and over again; I won’t say the words#because I’m not sure if it’s so much a spell as it is a curse — it is a self-deprecating spell#I only started seeing this number pattern AFTER I had been caught as an apostate; not before#before I’d look at the clock and it would say 5:33 or 9:15 or 12:45; after it was 4:04 or 2:24 or 12:20 ON THE DOT#Call me crazy but if every time you looked at a clock for MONTHS it always read a specific set of numbers you’d go a little nutty too#THEN in 2021 I read 1984 and it described my life up until that point PERFECTLY (WITH the number 4 plastered all over it)#Something happened back then and it’s still fucking happening because I was caught at the end of 2019#Just a little over four years away from the year 2024 and I was driven to set my exit date at 4/24/2024 before reading 1984#1984 is set in April 4 1984; April 4 is 20 days away from 4/24… SEE WHAT I MEAN?! I’m a raving lunatic but I’m right
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"You're supposed to be a sskk account, why are you recommending a fic you read 2 years ago for completely different ships-"
SHUT UP, I DO NOT CHOOSE WHICH HYPERFIXATION HAPPENS TO RESURFACE IN 2023 + THIS AUTHOR HAS THE BEST CHRONOHAUL PORTRAYAL IVE EVER SEEN HERE
#i needed somewhere besides my priv twt to yell about this series#i also dont even watch bnha anymore like i have almost 0 clue whats happening in the current arc#i am just hashtag very hyperfixated on Chronohaul right now if we're being honest#2020 Key had 1 good opinion and it was that Something Corporate is a godsend#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#chronohaul#shigadabi#using those tags again is like being thrown into a pit with a multitude of unrecognizable creatures in it#fic rec#shigadabi posting#chronohaul posting
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Yes Hello to all my fellow Miss Lemon fans out there:
If you love her as much as I do, then 6.2 Hickory Dickory Dock is the episode for you
Now let us all just take a moment out of our busy day to bask in her glory:
That coat with those hats?? ICONIC she has such a flawless style
and this little scene where she's like 'this is just a quirk of Mr. Poirot's, don't worry about it' fellas help she's so cute
also HELP lads she took Poirot's comment about Inspector Japp's 'healthy appetite' way too literally!! LEMON SOLE! she's so funny aagh
Also she looks really damn good in burgundy wow
Also you know I hate the trope where guys tell ladies to take their glasses off and let their hair flow in the wind because they'd somehow be 'sexier' or whatever. That is just simply not true. Case in point: Look at how cute Miss Lemon is in her glasses!!
Just. Everyone just. Look at my favourite girl. Look at her!!! Her filing system is perfect! Her filing system could kick your ass!!!
#Okay. don't kill me. but I'm gonna say it.#She has red/auburn hair. Which we all know is a weakness of Hastings'.#so like. Why didn't the showrunners kinda push them together more?#like in the books Miss Lemon was supposed to be 'impossibly ugly' or whatever the quote was#but show!Felicity is cute and adorable and beautiful and lovely and flawless and okay sorry I'll stop. but anyway. My point is#they get this absolute gorgeous cutie to play Miss Lemon and made her sorta exactly Hastings' type and then they don't do anything with it?#No implications like we get with him and Poirot? No touching or preening or lingering glances or smiles?#Sure in the Adventure of the Italian Nobleman Hastings legit punches a guy in the face for her#and we sorta get a whumpy scene in Double Clue where she's tending to his wounds with iodine so they could have played that up#esp. if they were really trying to no homo everything.#but they didn't. like. he barely looks at her in that scene.#And maybe they were just trying to stay truer to the source material but like. They still could have *implied* a great deal#and they didn't. IDK it was just. an interesting choice is all#they certainly imply a lot of things about him and Poirot (for which I owe them my life LOL) so it probably would have been super easy to d#maybe they were afraid of pissing off the fans? idk#or maybe those Hastings/Poirot implications were a simple result of the exceptional acting chemistry b/w David Suchet and Hugh Fraser#which of course fits into the canon of Poirot having the absolute biggest soft spot for Captain Arthur Hastings that is humanly possible#ANYWAY I LOVE YOU MISS LEMON YOU ARE MY QUEEN#and like okay I guess I can see how Pauline Moran isn't '''''''conventionally attractive''''''' or anything#but given the right storyline I could see Hastings being down bad for her version of Felicity Lemon#but maybe that's just because *I'm* down bad for her LOL#Poirot series#Poirot#Felicity Lemon#Miss Lemon#back on my screencapping bullshit#also if you made it through all of these tags bless u what a trooper you are thanks for listening to my ramblings
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I swear on GOD some of these systems are faking because ain't no way the thing you first do when you front for the first time with no sense of identity, not even a name, is go on ur PHONE (how the hell do you even know the password?) and somehow find the instructions to ask some random channel in a discord server questions. Its been a long while since anyone new has fronted for us like that (at least 4 years and we only have 7 members, used to be 4 until a split) but we literally got sent to involuntary inpatient care last time 😭😭 ain't no way bro...
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