#GUESS WHAT GUYS! I CANNOT FIND ANY QUOTES FOR THEM!

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Elena:My pronouns are what/ever/major/loser, now get out of my room!

Felix:Yeah, I told loser it's time for dinner. (gets smacked) Ow, quit it, I'm respecting your pronouns!

[cherryrouge]

acquit

lawyer!harry x lawyer!y/n

warnings: profanity, angst, mentions of murder and death

work count: 2.3k

please read action, part I of this fic, before reading this!

“are you still at the office?” y/n speaks into her phone, the gentle whir of the car she sits in acts as white noise.

“it’s ten at night on a friday, where else would i be?” mitch’s grainy voice replies, the sounds of the copier and the flipping of papers indicating that he’s working away in the file room.

“great. i need you to get me a copy of every financial transaction simon bernstein has made in the last twenty years. along with the distract attorney’s office, clifford brown, and mark jensen.” she orders, the car coming to a halt, denoting her arrival at her destination. 

“yeah, no. it’s not like i have a girlfriend to see, a family to call, or a life-“ mitch sarcastically remarks back.

“perfect. and if you could cross reference them and highlight any overlap, that would be amazing.” the sound of the car door shutting seemingly grabs the attention of her associate. 

“where are you anyway?” 

“out with harry.”

“oh? willingly?” she laughs at his response, exiting out of the car after harry opens her door for her.

“we are meeting with harry’s old client.” the old client in question being mark jensen. mitch scoffs from over the phone.

“why hasn’t harry already run a financial screening?”

“i think you could guess.”

“harry won’t let go of the goddamn dna samples.”

“bingo,” the clearing of her company’s throats signals her to wrap up her conversation, “i’ll see you in my office tomorrow morning.”

with that she hangs up the phone and turns her attention to the man beside her.

“finished telling your associate how to do his job?” harry replies with a straight face, snarky in every sense of the word.

“figured i might get us some real, tangible evidence while you continue to have a conniption fit over a goddamn t-shirt that we cannot use.” she offers him a tight-lipped, faux smile before facing in the direction of the bar they were supposed to be able to find mark in.

“what’s your plan with this, anyway?” she asks, earnestly. 

“you’ll see.” as cold and confident as can be, harry starts walking for the door. y/n is quick to hop into motion. 

“to quote your earlier statement: if we are going to work together, you are going to need to understand something about me. i appreciate and expect clear communication of motives before meeting with any client.” she snaps, walking at a faster pace in order to keep up with him as they approach the door. 

“well, isn’t that a shame,” he mockingly retorts, opening the door for her with a fake smile mirroring hers. she narrows her eyes as she steps into the bar. the scene is dim, space filled with music and the chatter of the patrons of the establishment. as far as bars go, this one is quite classy. but she supposes she should expect nothing less from harry or his clients, present or past. 

she feels a hand brush against the small of her back. her head turns toward the culprit, the culprit shockingly being harry. without even sparing a glance in her direction, he beckons her to follow him deeper into the bar with a nod of his head, eyes set on one man. she’s never seen this infamous man, mark jensen. he’s the only name she’s heard for the past couple of days, and she’s excited to finally see the son of a bitches face.

when they are finally met with him at the bar, he turns from his spot flirting with a redhead. he has a slightly horrified look, genuinely not expecting for them to intrude on his night. one she could only imagine he had big plans for. he’s blonde, has blue eyes, a distinct sloped nose and sharp jawline. he’s the perfect all-american man. upon meeting his new, unwanted company’s gaze, a scowl forms on his thin lips.

“what are you-“

“you might want to leave, this guy’s known for killing women. wouldn’t want you to be next.” harry says abruptly towards the woman standing beside mark, who all but runs away from the group after hearing such a worrying accusation.

“what the fuck?” mark says, a hot flush coming to his pale, freckled cheeks.

“i have two questions for you: did grace winfrey reject you? and is that why you killed her?” harry fires back, nonchalant as if he was telling him the weather. y/n’s mouth gapes in shock at her partners words, momentarily wishing he’d quiet down. however, she remembers the case she’s working on and who they are speaking to and quickly regains her composure. 

“you can’t talk to me without my lawyer present.” he retorts.

“oh right, the d.a. you know, i’m shocked he wasn’t with you already. considering you guys are so friendly.” 

“what are you even talking about?” his eyebrows furrow, imitating confusion and anger but his eyes are glazed with worry.

“you and i both know what im talking about.”  harry easily chokes him up, mark gulps down his whiskey and sets his glass on the bar. 

“whatever,” mark rolls his eyes, grabbing his coat from the chair he was sitting in before their arrival, “i’ll see you in court, asshole.”

mark leaves and y/n looks to harry, who’s eyes follow mark as he walks out of the bar and into a car. y/n is shocked, and a little disturbed by harry’s behavior.

“the hell was that?” y/n exclaims in a hushed tone, a bewildered look in her eyes. harry turns his attention to her.

“a means to an end.” he says simply, a smirk on his lips. 

“and how’s that?” she questions incredulously, hands resting on her hips as she looks at harry. 

“because without that,” he points to the door mark just exited out of, “we wouldn’t have that.” he points to mark’s glass of whiskey, absolutely covered in finger prints and spit. y/n’s eyes widen as she realizes his ploy.

“what does that matter if we don’t have the shirt?” she points out as she watches put the cup in a ziplock bag, his hand now gloved as to not tamper with his prized possession.

“who said anything about the shirt? i can still cite the murder weapon.” 

“we,” she corrects, “and the murder weapon has been tested and is covered in our clients fingerprints.” 

“so the district attorney clifford brown, then judge, said.” he states, giving her a pointed look. she processes his words, nodding her head in understanding.

“if your associate can find anything in those bank statements, we have evidence that mark jensen bribed the d.a. to bury and tamper with evidence. then we have a good old fashioned murder trial.” 

y/n walks into the firm with more conviction than usual. confident and hopeful that mitch found something to indicate bribery in the financial records. her heels clack against the hardwood floor and her bag sways with her arm as she walks. she’s happy to see a familiar long-haired man sitting in her office as she gets to her door. 

“find anything?” she says, expectantly as she walks into the space, setting her purse down by her chair and putting her coat on the coat rack.

“good morning to you, too. and yes, actually.” mitch plops the files down onto her desk as y/n takes a seat. 

“great. brief me.” she orders, opening up the top file in her stack. 

“there’s a transaction of fifteen million dollars from jensen’s father to simon bernstein on march sixth, two-thousand four. just two days after the suspects were named and bernstein was employed by the family. they weren’t paying bernstein’s rate as that was done one day before grace winfrey’s body was found. then that fifteen million was deposited and then sent to the district attorney’s office.” mitch states, alluding to what they both knew. mark was a criminal. 

“thank you, mitch.” she says with a smile, happy with the results and excited to show harry exactly what they need to win this case.

setting the files down on his desk, y/n stands tall with a proud smirk on her face. harry looks at the new items place in front of him then to the woman who put them there with a questioning look.

“mr. jensen was protecting his little boy.” she alludes to the evidence of bribery within the stack of papers. harry’s eyes soften with a nod. 

“you got it?” 

“yep.” she replies, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word. harry sifts through the papers, finding exactly what evidence she was suggesting. after finding it, he nods his head. 

“you know, a normal response would be a ‘great!’ or a ‘thank you!’” she mentions. harry just rolls his eyes. 

“that should do it.” now it’s her turn to roll her eyes.

“our hearing is tomorrow, correct?”

“my hearing.” harry corrects. y/n’s brows furrow and her head tilts to the side, displaying her confusing.

“i’m sorry?”

“i said that should do it, y/n. i’ll be taking the case from here, on my own.” he states, still not making eye contact with her.

“you’re kidding right.” 

“nope.” 

“on who’s authority.” she parrots his question from the beginning of this situation.

“mine.” she laughs, dryly. dumbfounded by his behavior.

“you know, you’re a lot of things but i didn’t think ignorant was one of them.” she crosses her arms as she stands before him. utterly stunned and angry with the man sitting so calmly in-front of her. 

“i’m unsure how i’m being ignorant-“ he begins.

“letting a childish rivalry get in the way of doing your goddamn job, that’s how,” she fires. for the first time since she’s walked in that room, he looks at her and takes in her appearance. her face as she stares sternly at him, eyes narrowed and a frown on her painted lips. if looks could kill, harry would have dropped dead on his desk.

“ever since i started working here, you always had some negative, demeaning thing to say to me. about my work, my accomplishments, anything. and i thought that things were changing, that we were working well together, and that we would start seeing eye to eye but i was incredibly naïve. because if i know one thing about you, it's that the only thing you love more than winning is attention. and you want it all to yourself. so much so that you'd disregard justice."

“this isn’t about us, or you’re ridiculous need for attention, or my need to feel respected. it’s about bringing justice to a girl who was murdered twenty years ago and her family. it’s about freeing a boy who was wrongfully convicted for the murder of a girl he hardly knew.” she barks at him, his eyes set on her’s. he’s hearing everything she has to say but offering no words in return. she scoffs at his non response.

“you know what, maybe you are right. maybe, i’m not ready for the 'big leagues.' because if this is what it’s really about, i don’t want any part of it.” with those final words she storms out of his office.

harry can admit, he has been an asshole. he can also admit that everything y/n said to him was correct. he hadn’t liked y/n in the start. her intelligent quips, her confident personality, the way she held and dressed herself. if you looked at her, you’d just assume she was a lawyer, a good one at that. she had accomplished more in her two years at the firm than harry did in his first five. she was praised, rightfully so. and harry hated it. 

it was indeed very childish for him to be as resentful towards her as he was. she had done nothing to him, except be successful. something he should be happy about because the firm was benefiting from her presence so everyone was. but harry’s ego took a hit. his place at this firm, the most powerful firm in new york, was compromised. each time he made a mistake, he was vulnerable. audrey had made that clear to him. y/n had replaced others in the firm and if he wasn’t careful, she’d replace him. an idea harry loathed. 

he was threatened by her mere presence and she didn’t even have to speak to him. so harry took it upon himself to diminish her, in hopes that she would feel the same way about him. 

all it seemed to do was ruin any chances of them possibly being able to work together in a cohesive and beneficial manner. so when harry went to audrey’s office to persuade her into taking y/n off the case, harry said exactly that.

“i understand it’s disappointing to hear but due to mutual dislike, it would be best if i were the only one on this case.” harry states, calmly. audrey stares into him, face unreadable and mood level.

“bullshit.” 

“what?” 

“‘mutual dislike.’ you can’t stand that someone finally matches your level.”

“that’s far from the truth.” lie.

“she might even be better.”

“i don’t think that is fair to say.” lie. audrey laughs, dismissively. 

“whatever feelings you have about her, drop it.” she says in a stern tone, ”this is a case that requires the focus of two people and i firmly believe that an adult man should be able to see past whatever resentment he has for his colleague to put a clients best interests first.” harry nods.

“you will rectify this misunderstanding, understood?” 

“yep.”

harry styles harrystyles@holmesharrison.com

jensen vs. the state

to: y/ny/l/n@holmesharrison.com

y/n,

the court hearing is tomorrow at 10 am. i expect to see you there.

harry styles 

senior partner 

-

aaaannnddd that's part II. i hope you enjoy!

with love, rory.

[namedr]

What are your art inspirations?

Disclaimer: A LOT of RAMBLING

Honestly hard to answer, nowadays I don't really look at a lot of art anymore but mostly just movies.

Biggest inspiration over the years (from 2020 to 2022) would have to be Kan Liu. His painting style with mostly just the round brush and hard edges really spoke to me, especially when it came to lineart I was a massive fucking copycat lmao.

Around 2022 I also began falling in love with Sungmoo Heo. The perspectives and overall style just fucks so hard.

The most obvious inspo would have to be Seonhyeok Jeon though, who I still rip off blatantly.

In general I began taking art seriously around 2020, when I found Kan Liu, because I began training to compete in bodybuilding, which I did the next year. I began getting super interested in how the body and muscles work so I just drew those a fuck ton, and those anatomy studies ended up really helping my art skills in general.

Anyway! For animation... Hiroto Nagata and Q Kawa are big inspos.

This shit is so fucking RAW and HOLY SHIT when I look at how the perspective gets just in your face I always just think "what am I even doing man I have to PRACTICE". It's like watching a Zyzz or Ronny Coleman clip before doing a lift at the gym but for art, shit's motivational.

This cut in Ghost In the Shell as well is WOW, I think what speaks a lot to me is when an animation doesn't conform to what's standard in the medium and tries to push boundaries/be unique. Be it in this case through insane details, in the case of Mushoku Tensei through bg animation mixed with extreme foreshortening or just a crazy perspective and punchy movements in the Madoka clip.

Overall it's hard to say what else my inspirations are though. When it comes to manga and comics I can think of Batman Year One, The Climber by Shin-ichi Sakamoto, Ultra Heaven by Keichi Koike, Solo Leveling (big inspo in 2021) and Homunculus.

Also, even though everyone assumes it, I haven't played Cyberpunk 2077 or am that big a fan of the Blame! manga, I guess I just have a fairly similar artistic vision to both of those.

For animated fiction it'd be Spiderverse recently, Millennium Actress, Silent Voice and a million other anime I've forgotten the name of. Naoko Yamada's directing for Silent Voice or other anime like Hibike Euphonium and the Liz movie has always been amazing to me because she is able to express characters personalities through their body language, like they way they walk or stand, in a way I have never seen done before. Extremely recognizable and iconic style imo. A long time ago I used to be really into watching anime, but I don't care much for it anymore.

Other inspo would be this guy on twitter, his stuff is insanely cool https://twitter.com/be_myvu/status/1725069515107533178?s=46

It's like that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote - “I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” I think throughout the years I've been so obsessed with all kinds of artists that I've taken in inspiration from everywhere. I cannot recall them all anymore, but they have made me the artist I am today.

Currently, like I said, I would consider movies to be my biggest inspiration because I find it interesting how cinematographers are able to stylize real life, which I'm trying to get closer to. If I could direct a movie, I would probably stop making art right then and there, but I'm not really working towards that goal anyway lmao. One day, being able to make a short film in animation would be something I would like to do though.

I'm not deep enough into the movie scene to get the street cred of being called an expert but I love them a lot. Fallen Angels made me fall in love with fisheye back then for example. Fight Club and The Batman have a grit to them visually that I find inspiring, and movies like Persona and Heat also come to mind when I think of movies I just love. I could look up my letterboxd for a more thorough answer but I feel I've already been writing way too long.

For video games, I guess you can imagine that I would say Signalis lmao. Besides that I can think of Subahibi (vn), Muramasa (vn), and Va-11 Hall-a for inspirations

Lastly, I guess huge inspirations are also a fuck ton of music. I mostly listen to either metal or hard techno, but I think I'll refrain from any more yapping.

I feel that this isn't really a great answer to the question, but it's the one I consider the most correct, because it's never as simple as just mentioning one artist. With a lot of these you wouldn't see a visual resemblence to my art, but in all of these I recognize a feeling that I also find in my own art.

Thank you for the question!

[suzukiblu]

brother

"Okay," Cassie says, and the two of them head into the kitchen together. She should definitely, definitely call somebody, but she still doesn't. "So the name thing . . . do you want one that actually means something, or just one that sounds cool, or . . . ?"

"I just want one," Not-Kon/Not-Match says with a shrug, opening the fridge and peering inside. "Not gonna be picky about the details, this is more about performing emergency emotional triage and asserting an individual identity and sense of self as quickly as possible than anything else." 

"Uh," Cassie says, just staring at him for a moment. "What?" 

"I might have some superhero-grade therapy technique uploads in my head," Not-Kon/Not-Match admits, pointing at his temple for a moment. "Which is probably a point for somebody not Tim making me, because I cannot imagine that dude's ever spoken to a single fucking therapist who wasn't either from Arkham or the victim of a crime. There's soba noodles and shrimp in here, how's that sound? Oh, and edamame." 

"I'm down with that," Cassie says. "Do you want any help?" 

"Do you know how to cook soba noodles?" he asks. "Or edamame?" 

"Honestly I didn't know you had to cook edamame at all," Cassie says. 

"Raw soy protein is poisonous," he says. 

". . . so yeah I'll just do the dishes when you're done, how's that," Cassie offers sheepishly. 

"Solid plan," he says, then points at the kitchen island. Cassie sits down on one of the barstools in front of it and pulls out her phone to start browsing, like, baby names sites or something. 

"All the really good names I know are Greek," she says. "Don't know any available Kryptonian ones, like I said. I thiiiiink Lex Luthor might be German but don't quote me on that and really, fuck that guy anyway."

"Yeah, I don't want anything to do with him," Not-Kon/Not-Match agrees, pulling a package of noodles and some weirdly random-seeming vegetables out of the fridge. "He already messed with and mind-controlled Kon, fuck if I wanna find out what he'd try and do to me." 

"'Conner' is an Irish name, apparently?" Cassie suggests as she skims search results, frowning consideringly at her phone. "As far as I know Kon only went by it because it sounds kinda like 'Kon-El' but I guess it's still an option." 

"Hm," Not-Kon/Not-Match says, frowning too. "Well, that's as good a place to start as any. Although you really don't have to think about it this hard, I really did mean it when I said I wasn't gonna be picky about this." 

"You're four hours old and your entire existence is a massive ethics violation," Cassie says, glancing up at him again. He's busy reading the back of the soba noodles' packaging, but still clearly listening to her. Hopefully that's a good sign, that he's been listening to her. "I am definitely gonna think about it this hard. Or do you want, like . . . a Tim-adjacent name, maybe? If he made you?"

"I don't know," Not-Kon/Not-Match says. "Him making me is still just my best guess and it might not be great for his secret ID either. Also I don't know if I hate him for making me yet or not, so I don't know if I want anything to do with him either." 

"Point," Cassie says, frowning again and trying another site. That . . . might be a problem, yeah. If Tim actually is currently messed up enough to deliberately make a whole entire person and also try to make that person Kon . . . 

Well, he's probably not gonna react well to said person not being Kon, for starters. Especially if said person also wants nothing to do with him. 

Gods, yeah, there's a horrible thought. 

Please just don't let this lead to Gun Batman, Cassie prays to herself. Please don't let that be where this situation is heading. 

"Hmmm," she says. "Well, either way Kon's still like, your brother, right? So it'd make sense to give you a name related to one of his."

"I don't really know," Not-Kon/Not-Match says thoughtfully as he sets up a pot of water on the stove and starts sorting through the vegetables on the counter to line them up next to the cutting board. "Although I guess he might've thought so? Apparently he called Match his brother when they first met. And, you know, I have a functioning concept of free will and I don't have any particular desire to murder him or his friends, so he probably would've liked me better than he liked Match. Then again, Kon's also already dead, so maybe I'd feel differently about the murder thing if he weren't? But if he weren't dead I wouldn't exist anyway, so . . . catch-22, maybe?" 

Cassie, again, is reminded that Not-Kon/Not-Match is still running the numbers on the supervillain thing. So . . . yeah. That is very much a thing, still. 

"Please tell me that your mental uploads told you that murder is bad," she says, eyeing him warily again. If they didn't, she and Tim are going to be having an even longer long talk than the one she's already planning. 

"They did," Not-Kon/Not-Match confirms. "They also told me that I was Kon, though, so I'm currently taking all their provided information with a grain of salt." 

Fuck everything, Cassie thinks with far too much feeling.

[stupidsketchpad]

hey guys. im here to rant about how 2econd 2ight 2eer (second sight seer) by will wood is secret life bigb's song because god its eerie how similar the song lyrics are to his character. AHEM (also spoilers for secret life)

My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues

ok. this is a really good start lol. basically bigb's task don't mean much when he does weird shit anyway for fun and, quote from grian, "writes his own tasks"

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth

he's saying stuff that litterally makes no sense. even after his task is done he wont tell anyone (confession booth is kinda like people asking about your task after it's done. your confessing your task to someone)

Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault

i got nothing man

The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to

THIS LINE AHSHDHSHAH. THE SECRET KEEPER GIVES HIM THE TASKS CAUSE HE HAS TO BUT HE WANTS TO DO THEM ANYWAY ANDDDD MAKE THEM AS CONFUSING AS POSSIBLE. SECRET KEEPER COUNTS AS THE DEVIL HERE

I'm cut from a different kind of meat

More than you can chew, hard to swallow me

"what the hell are you doing??" is a common question he gets asked. hard to swallow. y'know

Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity

How I cannot commit to reality, when my third eye's open and I like what I see

he's doing shit for the sake of doing shit.

Baby, I may be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free

AAAAA THIS LINE TOOO!!! ok so he didn't just randomly start lying in secret life. it was weird before that too! i cant speak for double but LIMITED LIFE he was also confusing people about being the boogeyman. basically that one meme with the "guy weird about everything but its drowned out by how weird about everything the other people are"

I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards, the rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat

But I still move my feet

To slip out of this groove, I'm free

dont got much here but i think this is just him having fun, yknow

Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls

And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah

"but a dream" is the games. there are three rows in the line. lose your lives to get the game over with.

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

once again, this wasnt the first time he was being weird!!!

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

say weird shit, refuse to elaborate, leave.

Oh, oh, o-o-oh

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see

You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream

And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep

But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front

evo, anyone? anyway this man knows about watchers and doesnt care. he knows! he just doesn't give that any meaning.

Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than

An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

red lives and how bigb doesn't have the same bloodlust as they do. this guy doesn't kill much, he's like the most passive on the server. /srs

But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever and I'm getting better one forever at a time

how many people guessed any of bigb's tasks? that's right, zero! (if i remember correctly.) he's getting better at the games (btw the games being referred to as "forevers" is just ahshahdghs)

And if sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die

not much here

Vice-versa, vice versus virtue

Well who I am I choose through all the things I do

AAAAAAAA HE CHOOSES HOW HE IS PERCEIVED BY THE OTHERS BY SAYING HIS STUFF YA GET WHAT IM SAYING

And if it rhymes, it's true, but I hate poetry

contradicting himself. easy peasy analysis here folks.

Now with my moral compass pointing south, I'm going down

With no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no respect for reality

could say this is going red! but also. "going down?" LIKE A HOLE? HE MADE A HOLE?????

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

same stuff

A tourist passing through

Well that was fun, goodbye

he died. but hey, he had fun!

anyways thats all thank you for listening to me ramble about songs and minecraft i WILL do this again. sorry if this is incoherent i wrote it at 10:00 pm.

psst... moot... @bigb-enthusiast... would you like this?

[ilyregulus]

"I love you, but you're not mine." — Starchaser.

A/N: Hii, this is my first time writing something like this and english is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes and pls be kind.

The story is based on the movie "Corpse Bride" so some quotes are from there. I hope you guys like it :)

Word count: 2.9k

TW: they talk a lot about death.

“I'm not doing it.” Regulus said angrly while his mom forced him into the car.

“Oh but you so are, it's not like we asked for your opinion.” She replied risply, and to be honest, it's not like he had any hope of changing her mind, his parents never really cared about him, they cared about money, and right now, Regulus was just their way of getting it.

“What if we don't like each other, won't that be a problem?” He asked knowing that it would change nothing.

“As if that has anything to do with marriage. Do you suppose your father and I like each other?”

He actually never thought about that, in fact Regulus never thought about love at all, especially not his parents. But deep down he supposed they liked each other, at least a little. The thing is he didn't get how someone could do it, he understood very well about making alliances and how the rich must marry each other so they keep getting richer but shouldn't they like the person they were marrying or at least meet them first and have the right to choose?

Every step taken towards the mansion that would host the ceremony felt like a step towards the gallows, so while his parents talked to his soon to be parents in law, Regulus decided to take a walk through the large hall, enjoying his last minutes of his so-called freedom.

“Shit. You scared me.” A nice looking girl who was sitting by the piano said as he entered the room.

“I do apologize…You play beautifully.” He added sincerely.

“Thank you, mother won't let me near the piano, too passionate, she says…Anyway, I'm Victoria.”

“Oh.” It was all he could say for a while. “I'm Regulus.”

“I guess we weren't supposed to be seeing each other then.” She laughed.

“I suppose not.”

“Well, I always dreamt about this day, about getting married and finding someone I was deeply in love with, someone to spend the rest of my life with.” Victoria started saying.

“KILL ME” Regulus thought, what on Earth did he do to deserve this.

“Silly, isn't it?” She continued

“Yes, silly” He replied too fast.

He could apologize and he almost did but why would he? It's not like he was trying to make Victoria like him, in fact it would be really great if she didn't and somehow stopped this bullshit from happening. But she didn't stop anything and so the day arrived and there he was, standing at the altar, with his ganancious parents looking straight into his soul and there was nothing he could do.

Regulus didn't really put much effort into memorizing the vows and the amount of times he got it wrong and had to start again was getting annoying.

“This boy doesn't want to get married. How disgraceful!” Victoria's mom screamed.

“Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared. Young man, learn your vows.” Her father added.

He couldn't stand another minute of this, but he was going to learn it, it's not like he had another choice, and he really just wanted this day to end as fast as it could so, Regulus told everyone he would go for a walk in the woods nearby and would get back prepared, which seemed to satisfy both their families.

It really shouldn't be all that difficult. It's just a few simple vows.

“With this hand, I will take your wine. No. With this hand...I will cup your...Oh, fuck, no.With this…With this candle, I will...I will set your mother on fire.”

Oh, it's no use, he needed to do this. And so he said clearly.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring...I ask you to be mine.”

“I do.” He heard a whisper as everything went dark.

“What..? What the hell happened?” He asked as his green eyes adjusted to the light once again.

“Looks like we've got ourselves a breather.” An old man said.

“Does he have a dead brother?” Asked a weird woman.

“He was very much alive last time I checked.” Regulus replied not really sure why.

“A toast then. To the newlyweds.” The first man raised his glass.

“Newlyweds?” Seriously Regulus thought, what the fuck was going on???

“In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly.”

“WHERE THE HELL AM I?” He asked without any patience.

“Well, that's a long story, a tragic tale of romance, passion and murder.”

“Look, I don't…” Regulus started saying but then he saw him.

He was standing there, with a suit falling into pieces, but Lord, he was beautiful, he had those eyes, deep and warm, that was like staring right into the sun and begging to get burned by it, and, oh, how Regulus would beg.

“Our boy was a beauty known for miles around” Continued a woman who looked like she was dead for ages “When a mysterious stranger came into town, she was plenty good-looking but down on her cash, and our poor boy here, he fell hard and fast.”

“Whatever, let me go straight to the point, the green eyes here doesn't look like he's a fan of long stories” The man interrupted. “He was about to get married and woke up in the graveyard”.

He was dead??? Oh…now he got why they all looked a little blue and weird, and the breather thing and everything else but how could…Regulus was not dead, at least he didn't feel like he was.

“So he made a vow…” He realized the man was still talking. “To wait for his true love to come set him free, and then you came.”

“Yeah really heart touching, what a shame I'm nobody's love so how do I get the fuck out of whatever this place is?” Regulus said but not really sure if that was what he actually wanted.

Don't get him wrong, it’s not like he was loving this whole being dead thing, but he didn't really have anything worth living for up there.

“Regulus, right?” Said the good looking boy, who now appeared to be his…fiancé?

“Yes but look, that's a mistake, I'm alive and you wouldn't want to be married to a man anyway”. He didn't know why but he felt so awkward near him.

“Well, I wouldn't mind.” He smiled.

Regulus wanted to curse him in any possible ways, how could someone murdered on his wedding day be so nice and…handsome.

“But I would.”

“You would mind getting married to a boy? I thought alive people were getting more open minded.”

“They aren't, which sucks, I get it, that wasn't my point.” Why was he explaining himself to a dead boy anyway?

“So you would marry a boy?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Does it matter?”

“It does, Reg, since we are in fact married.”

REG.

He felt weak and Regulus Black does not feel weakness, he could feel his legs shaking and his lungs gasping for air, he has never, in his entire life, felt this way. There was something so magnetic about this boy, so charming and inviting that Regulus could almost hear their souls asking to collide. But Regulus didn't believe in love, did he?

“Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you...and I'd like to help, but I really need to get home.” He said, trying not to look too much at the boy.

“This is your home now.”

“I don't even know your name and that's not a great way to start a marriage so I really should be going.”

“It’s James.”

Five letters had never made such a beautiful sound, Regulus could swear this name was made to be on his lips, he was sure he dreamed about it before. Who was he trying to fool, his parents weren't there to see anything and it's not like someone could hear his thoughts, Regulus Black did believe in love, he wanted it so badly, but he just couldn't, it's not what he was made for, love was not for him, besides, he was falling for a dead man, how ridiculous does that sounds?

“Does it hurt...dying?” He asked without thinking it would be disrespectful.

“No more than being alive.” James replied.

Regulus smiled, as horrible as it sounded he felt some kind of comfort in that.

“I almost forgot, I have something for you, a wedding present.” James said happily, giving him a black box with a red ribbon on it.

“Scraps?” He sounded confused as he looked at an amount of bones that was turning into a dog “Scraps! That's my dog Scraps!”

“I imagined you'd like to see him again.”

“He was my best friend…My only friend.” Regulus said with a sad tone in his voice. “Mother never approved of him, so she gave her way, but then again, she never approved of anything, and she always gives her way.”

James was hurt to see the boy like this, he wanted to hug him, to comfort him and say that with him he could have anything, James could love him, indeed he could, he wanted to. But instead he just asked a friendly question.

“Do you wanna go back home, Reg?”

No. He didn't want to, there was nothing up there for him and his mother was probably so furious that he would go back to where he was right now really quickly.

“Yes James, I must go.” Was what he replied.

“There may be a way of doing it.” James handed him a tiny bottle he took out of his pocket.

“Really?” Regulus said almost as if he did not believe it was that simple. “You have a magic potion with you all this time?”

“Well, I like to visit the living world sometimes…”

“And couldn't you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted you to stay.”

“You know that's selfish of you right?” Regulus asked, frustrated. “You're dead, I'm alive and besides that you don't even know me, we are not married James, can't you see that?”

If he knew the amount of sadness that would appear in James’ face he would've never said that because in Regulus' mind a boy like James was not meant for sadness, he was.

“But I could know you…” Was all he heard before drinking the potion and waking up in the woods again.

When he opened his eyes he realized he missed the fresh air in his skin, the smell of grass and the sounds of living nature, but deep inside he felt like he was letting something behind.

“Victoria?” He asked, entering the piano room once again.

“Regulus!” She exclaimed. “I was so worried, what happened? You're as cold as death.”

He thought it was funny that she said that.

“I'm sorry…I didn't want to get married and you deserve someone who does.” He was sincere when he said that, she seemed like a nice girl who was unfortunate to have the same fate as him.

“I know I do.” She replied with a smile. “And you deserve to do it only when you're ready to, but I don't think we're this lucky.

“This is going to sound really unexpected but…I guess I am already married.” Regulus told her.

“You what?”

“To me. He's married to me.” James said coming out of nowhere.

“He's dead.” Regulus hurried to say as if this could possibly make things better. The truth is he was feeling kinda euphoric to see James there, he doesn't deal well with emotions and this whole situation was very confusing. One of the reasons he left in such a hurry was that he didn't know what to say to James, and seeing him there was making his brain collapse.

“You lied to me.” James said betrayed. “You have somebody else.”

“Victoria is not somebody else, actually, you are.” He corrected.

“But you married me first”. What can he say, the boy got a point.

“This is not going to work, James.”

“Why not? It's my glasses, isn't it?” He asked worried.

“No, it's not your glasses, they are fine, they look…attractive.” Regulus hadn't thought about that before but the glasses did give James kind of a sexy look. “Listen, under different circumstances, well, who knows? But we're just too different. I mean, you're dead.”

“You should've thought about that before you asked me to marry you.” James seemed offended.

“Why can't you understand? It was a mistake. I would never marry you.”

Once again sadness became part of his face and once again Regulus regretted saying that. He was so divided between what he was supposed to do and what he wanted to, but he said one thing right, they were too different, they didn't even belong to the same world.

That was the thing about fate, this treacherous and invisible little thing that seemed to have so much power over him, he couldn't control it, and Regulus hated not being able to control things.

“Perhaps you do belong with her. Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.” He replied before disappearing into a cold and sad mist.

“Victoria, I don't know how to explain…” He began but was interrupted by her.

“You don't need to, I saw it in your eyes.” She said softly. “You want to be with him.”

Maybe she was right. He had never felt his heart beat that fast, ironic how James could make him feel so alive. But how could they do this? It was impossible for them to be together, it seemed like no one listened to the amount of times he told that he was alive while James was not and he was almost certain you couldn't bring someone back.

“I know what you are thinking, and you're right, but there's a way, you can be the one to join him.” She said as if it was a normal thing to say out loud.

“You're saying I should die?”

“For love, I would.” She explained how it should be done and left him alone to think.

Regulus sat by the piano and started playing some notes to distract himself, how could he make such a decision?

His life was lonely, empty, and surrounded by darkness, he knew that his only purpose was to serve his parents' orders and carry on the family legacy, but how much did that cost him? His freedom for sure, and maybe his soul was just fading along with it. There was nothing he could proudly say it was worth staying alive for, but maybe, just maybe he had something, or someone, worth dying for. And just like everything else that happened in his life, that was some dramatic shit.

And there he was, standing at the altar, with hungry eyes fixed on him, but with Victoria's kind and supportive smile telling him it was okay. And so he said.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine, James.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife…wait what?” He heard the priest say before his vision blurred and he woke up on the other side.

“Reg?” James asked kindly looking at his newly opened green eyes. It was like staring at the great wide ocean, full of beauty and mysteries, and James was desperate to dive in. He wanted to fill himself with his water, let his salt heal his wounds, and more than anything, he wanted to be part of it, just like Regulus was part of the dark sky. “You can't be here. I love you, Regulus. But you're not mine.”

“But I want to, James. I really do. You and Victoria made me realize that sometimes you need to take the threads of fate and trace them yourself, and so I did it, and now I am yours.” He declaired taking James hands.

“That was too much for me to ask, I couldn't have done this.” The boy answred sadly.

“You didn't. You just showed me that I do have feelings in my heart, deep ones, and I want to be embraced by it, I should be allowed to it, shouldn't I? I know now that there's love and beauty in death as much as there's pain and horror in living. I wasn't living James, I was destined for the void, I didn't even have a soul to call mine, and with you I have everything. You didn't asked me to do it, you just showed me the way and I was the one who decided to take the path.” Regulus didn't even know he had all those things inside him, all those words and those feelings, but now it was like he was meant to say it, he had never felt lighter, and nothing has ever felt this right.

“I thought I would never see you again.” Was all James said as he got closer and give him one small kiss pulling way for an instant, just so he could see a smile appearing in Regulus’ lips, and then doing it again.

When two worlds collided it felt like they were always one, like the stars and the sea were all just one big thing embracing the one who was meant for them, fate didn't look that treacherous now, it looked beautiful and it tasted like hope, like not even death could pull those two forces of the universe apart, because if Regulus was a star than James was the biggest one. For him, James was the sun.

“You set me free.” Said James.

“You did the same.” Regulus replied. “And if a heart can still break once it's stopped beating, please don't break mine.”

[adamsuniverse1144]

Screaming, crying, throwing up because my Throuple is coming together wonderfully 🥹🥹🥹

AHHHH I FORGOT TO ADD THE TW!!! Life is hard, cancer, growing up too fast, MCD, angst with a happy ending ✨

NOW FOR AN INFO DUMP:

🤍 The adorable blonde is Anna. In the grand scheme of things, she’s the ray of sunshine and endless energy. Anna is dating both boys after they (their entire friend group) met at college. She’s a Neutral Good character, she can be really reallllly petty but she’s got such a kind heart. Anna was kicked out of her home at 16 for being trans, and later on we find out she was adopted into a really dangerous area. Her foster parents are assholes and continue to ignore any kind of contact she wants now that she’s “unholy”. She moved out and immediately fell into the arms of a teacher who’d been gr00ming her for years and “helped” with her transition. (I say “helped” because paying for top surgery isn’t really a noble act when you’re a fucking creep). In college she met all of the other characters, including her two Mains Hazel and Adam. It was a bit of a task to get them to stop fighting over her (like a whole ass fist fight almost happened because Adam does 𝑛𝑜𝑡 back down and Hazels a little hotheaded), but being sucked into the same friend group by association brought the boys close together, and eventually they fall in love too, making the Vee polycule a throuple 🥹🥹🥹 If people thought the two main characters were a slow burn, they were sadly mistaken with these guys 😂.

🤍 She eventually moves to a group of houses clustered together with the eight person friend group they’ve created for themself and you know what? Fuck you, she lives happily ever fucking after with a few minorly traumatizing instances. They start a band because actually why the fuck not when so many of them love to sing and are musically inclined?

🤍 Her relationship with her two Mains is heavily influenced by Die Antwoord, or in other words, she’s their Little. They cherish the hell out of her and she’s very happy, especially having six other partners. It can be a little chaotic with eight people living in close quarters but she couldn’t be more thankful and she deserves it all.

🤍 All jokes aside, Anna is a real huge inspiration to me. She’s been through so much, and she’s living a life she never thought she’d be so lucky to have 🥹

🤍 Age: She’s 24 in this picture

Height: 5’7

Orientation: Bisexual

Favorite color: Rainbow or anything that sparkles.

Alignment: Looks like a cinnamon roll, IS a cinnamon roll

Place in the band: Strong alto, working on her range into soprano

🤍✨Favorite quote: “I don’t need a nap! You guys are 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 my joy!”

💛 HAZELLLLLL 😍😍😍 is the guy with the dreads. His actual name is Artez, but his mother’s maiden name sounds so much like Nutella that everyone consistently mishears or mispronounces it as that, and hence the joke “Hazel” like “Hazelnut”. Hazel is on the other spectrum of sunny; he likes to look on the bright side. He loves his partners with his life and can be a little protective, but it’s all in good standing with the others. Being a 6’5 black man comes in handy I guess because having trans partners gave him a little sass when it comes to telling people to fuck off and leave his hot partners alone. There’s a running joke that he has to beat people off with sticks, but actually cannot perceive when anyone he’s not close to is flirting with him.

💛 Hazel grew up in a relatively happy home, but his sister was sick for months before they found out she had leukemia. His mother had raised them both alone, so he started picking up the slack around the house. He slept in his sisters room so his mom could get sleep, he’d wash her sheets and help her remember the various invasive appointments and procedures. His mom went off the deep end for a bit trying to bring her health back in ANY way possible. Like any normal 8 year old, this stressed him the hell out. He had a temper that flared all the time at school, and he barely made it out of Middle School without being expelled. His sister died his sophomore year which only served to feed his grief and anger at the world. During that time, the only person who seemed to understand him was his mother and they grew extremely tight knit. She’s referenced or called a couple times in the story, and he visits her whenever they have the free time. Fun fact: his mom met Anna and told her she was so happy to have a daughter again and I cried writing it 😅🥰🥹😍

Hazel met Anna first in college, and of course with their similar personalities, they hit it off. She was bright and silly and everything he’d ever searched for when it came to partying and munches (ifykyk). Unfortunately, another man was sniffing around and he was livid. Of course the man ended up staking his claim on Anna’s right hand, and Hazel (though happily) snatched the left. One girl, two hands, and two boyfriends that hate the fuck out of each other turned into my personal favorite troupe: High Energy Sparkle Princess, Cheerful Jock and Grumpy Little Ball of Darkness.

💛 Age: He’s 25 in this picture

Height: 6’5

Orientation: Bisexual

Favorite color: Yellow

Alignment: Looks like he will unalive you, is a cinnamon roll

Place in the band: Drummer, Bass and Baritone. Think Khalid, Lah Pat, and a lot of Lil Wayne

💛✨ Favorite quote: “Aw, is that what you wanted? You came in here dressed to the nines so I’d call you my princess?”

🖤 SPEAKING OF GRUMPY LITTLE BALLS OF DARKNESS: ADAM!

Now I know what commoners around my page might be thinking, “Wait, isn’t one of the pages alters named that or something? Something with an ‘A’… maybe Adrian? Adonis?” It’s Adam, if you didn’t know and yes.

This character is extremely important to me, very much extremely important. Not that most will care but I just finished a really big part of therapy, and have a more clear vision of a couple of my alters. I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this character and Jeanne (my therapist) was so helpful and kind about how taxing it was to bring him out a bit more. Anyways…

🖤 Adam is… well… he’s just built different. No I don’t mean cool necessarily, I just mean he is very much still a mystery to a lot of the characters in the story. He’s wise but he can be silly, he’s responsible but I wouldn’t recommend reading his mind, and he’s nice but I wouldn’t say you should piss him off on purpose either. He’s a lot of things, and the rest of them absolutely adore him despite him being a bossy little dictator– Oh sorry, a “Top-Leaning Dominant”. I believe the phrase, “A freak in the sheets and everywhere else too” would be a fine analysis 😂 He’s mild tempered so he genuinely doesn’t really yell at people, and he’s kind of a pack animal. He prefers and is most comfortable with his polycule and Mains and any other people trying to talk to him makes him extremely uncomfortable. He’s happy where he is and does not wish for anything more.

🖤 (Adam’s backstory has some of mine in it, I’ll admit. Not the first part though 😂) He always knew he was a boy, and when he finally brought it up to his parents they were extremely supportive and fought for him to get everything he’d need to feel comfortable in his skin. He was fulfilled, but unfortunately depression is hereditary. He suffers from Major Depressive Disorder characterized by being okay more often than not and then having a horrible crash that can last anywhere from a day and a half to an entire month of the worst depression one can describe. After a poor coping mechanism goes horribly wrong, he dies at 18.

🖤 Just kidding! They electrocute his ass back to the world of the living and put him in The Grippy Sock Hotel for three months of intensive therapy and med adjustment. During that time his arm is in a sling, but he does his best to actually put in effort despite the supreme “done” feeling in his chest. His parents aren’t allowed to visit because he doesn’t want them to see him like this, but they pick him up and tell him he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.

🖤 His parents tell him about the real college they went to and he shrugs himself into applying there. He’s really shy and anxious at first, but then he meets Anna. Adam has also known he was gay for a long time and never so much as looked once at a girl, but he sees Anna and it’s love at first sight for him. Her rambunctious excitement matches his brooding gothic sensibilities quite nicely. That Bozo hanging out with her is on his hit list until he and Hazel end up getting a very stern talking to by one of their mutual friends about being animals over Anna and it embarrassed him enough to try and be friendly with the stupid asshole constantly smirking at him to royally piss him off. It takes him a very long time to warm up to people, but Hazel manages to annoy his way into his heart and you know the rest.

Age: 24

Height: 5’6

Orientation: Homoflexible

Favorite color: Black and Purple, but mostly black

Alignment: Looks like they might unalive you, will unalive you if its convenient

Place in the band: He can do a lot of everything, but he prefers mixing music or rapping. Think… NF but not annoying, Yung Gravy but not stupid, and a dash of Lil Wayne (I only say that because he can freestyle and create stories with it, it’s actually really cool)

🖤✨Favorite quote: “The next person to call me an edgelord is going to be edged for however long I feel like.”

art by pandan009 or @screwpinecaprice

oc’s by me, teehee 🖤☠️✨

[queeenpersephone]

Find Five Lines Tag

thank you so much for tagging me @xxsksxxx!! this looks like so much fun and i loved reading your lines <3

Rules: find any lines in your WIP or fics that fit each parameter given by the person who tagged you. Then change one of the parameters and tag five or more people.

My lines: a line about longing, a passionate line, a line expressing relief, a line that screamed, a funny line

Your lines: a line about desire, a line expressing grief, a line expressing pain, a line that makes you incredibly happy, a line expressing anger

a line about longing from an original WIP:

It is easy to think of fragments of sentences, of pleas, now she has allowed herself this moment to dream. For all their differences, Alex and she are the same in one significant way: paragraphs and soliloquies and poetry flow from their hands and lips like water. She has devised masterpieces that founding fathers quote in their writings. He has brought financial systems into existence with only a pen. And for what? This gift, this commonality, has not given her Alex. She cannot tell him her true hopes, her deepest fears, not even her real name. For all the sentences they have given the world, there are so many words left in the space between them.

passionate line from this evlynn fic:

“Even when I didn’t know you, I knew you,” she promises, arms aching with the desire to wrap around him. He presses his forehead to hers.

“Even when I didn’t know you,” he replies, pulling back only just, and yes, there are the tears, sliding down his cheeks as he cages her in his embrace, “I loved you.”

a line expressing relief from new year's day (ironwidow):

And when she does, she can feel when he wakes because his lips split into a wide grin that halts any semblance of a kiss. “Nat,” he gasps, breathless, kissing her harder. The way she is leaning against her elbow is awkward, but her back isn’t implicated, so she deals with it to let Tony kiss her for a few more seconds. “You’re alive,” he murmurs, anguished and relieved and she has to squeeze her eyes shut to keep her tears from falling. “I’m furious with you, by the way,” he adds against her mouth, bringing up a hand to tangle in her hair. He kisses her harder for a brief moment, but they are broken apart naturally by the way they both can’t help but smile.

a line that makes me scream from a msr wip:

Mulder forces a teasing smile to his face, though he feels none of the emotion behind it. “Who’s going to second guess me if you’re not there?”

Scully goes rigid, cold, and he knows he’s misstepped. “You can turn on all the recordings of the many voicemails I’ve left you over the last few months. Even better. You can’t ditch a recording machine.”

His voice goes low. “I can’t turn your soul on."

funny line from my pjo fic:

Percy frowns, but his eyes are twinkling. “Oh yeah, I should be more specific. If I’ve gotta fight my dad, Poseidon, God of the Seas, Earthshaker, Guy Who Dresses Like He’s Blind, Man Who Needed A Dolphin to Convince His Wife to Marry Him, Keeper of the Fishing Pole of Death-”

Tagging: @katebishopofearth, @themorganapendragon, @rappaccini @autumnwoodsdreamer, @baronessblixen, and anyone else who would like to! just say i tagged you <3

[gogandmagog]

Thanks to some friends at the Lucy Maud Montgomery institute (what up, University of PEI), I was recently put on to the ‘100th Anniversary Scholarly Annotated Anne of Green Gables,’ and you guys… you know how the Grinch’s heart ‘grew three sizes’ that one Christmas in Whoville? Well, similarly, my little brain grew three sizes by the time I was even a quarter of the way through that book.

I cannot recommend it enough, to any dedicated Anne fans. I’s guess I personally still need several months, to fully process everything.

Lucy Maud!!! She was so so so… deep, and thoughtful, and capable of weaving together stories of such intricacies that one scarcely can begin realize what seeds are being planted. The stealth feminism that is so natural and abundant, because feminism is natural and abundant.

In the annotated book (so many contributors to credit, I’ll update this post for sure when it’s somewhere less than midnight), we learn so much. You see things you provably never saw before.

And a major disclaimer right here, before the cut, because I’m doing by best here to summarize a level of absurd genius that is not necessarily easy to grapple, and HEAVY quoting the brilliance of this piece, and other essays others have written on this piece, so pls understand that 0% of what’s coming was borne of my own insight. Just straight up copy/paste behavior here. And also, consider doing yourself a favor at this point by sitting down or holding on to something.

From the jump, the ‘100th ANNEiversay Scholarly ANNEotated Book’ outlines Montgomery's evolution of the first Anne text drafts to make very deliberate and clearly feminist points.

For example, as they say, it is one of the first (perhaps the very first) bildungsromans about a woman who comes of age in mind and spirit as well as in body and community. “In traditional European symbolism, men get associated with sky and spirit, women with earth and body.” In the long, lyrical passages that describe the beauty of Prince Edward Island, Montgomery begins with the trees and the flowers -- which she scoured Canadian and American sources to find feminine vernacular names for -- like "Lady's Slipper." Masculine flower names, such as "Bachelor's Button," are changed out for "aster" or for feminine alternatives. Anne usually gives them feminine personal names too, "Snow Queen" we are looking at you. Sometimes LMM writes the masculine name in her first-pass manuscript and later comes back with a neutral or feminine alternative. She was purposefully locating the feminine in the flowers and then -- in just about every passage describing flowers at length -- she expands the focus to the sky. Sunsets, stars, sunrises, clouds, all of that symbolically extends Anne from the bodily world of the earth into the spiritual and intellectual world symbolized by the sky. A traditionally masculine world. It's deliberately transgressive. She isn't just waxing poetic about the vast beauty of Canada; she's locating Anne within a symbolic structuring of the world where Anne, crucially, has an emotional and intellectual life that is put on an equal plane with traditional masculine coming-of-age stories ... but without denigrating the femininity of the earth. She also applies flower words to the sky itself, describing its colors as "marigold" and "saffron" and so on. The down-to-earth stories of women doing women's work is a feminist point, that Anne can dream and learn and love and go to college and teach, but she can also sew and weave and care for children and become a wife and mother. She uses a symbolic structure of Earth Mother/Sky Father that dates back to Plato and that reaches its full flower in the Romantic poets that Anne loves -- in order to subvert it and locate women and men on an equal footing, and to make the claim for young women reaching for the profoundly-metaphorical stars.

Anne appears in spring, like Persephone, and starts bringing Avonlea to life -- and almost the first thing she does in Avonlea is wear live flowers into the church. HEY SYMBOL OF PATRIARCHY, HAVE SOME FEMININITY IN UR TEMPLES. The actual Prince of Wales College in Charlottetown becomes Queens College -- COLLEGE IS FOR LADIES, YO.

Quotations in Montgomery are never JUST the apt point to the moment, but virtually always point to the larger work the quotation comes from and, if you know the reference, underlines her themes or make deeper points about the characters or situations. (Like referencing the masculine romantic epics that Anne loves, to make the point that Anne is going through the same quest, just like a boy.) Names too -- Biblical Anne is the mother of Mary -- Marilla -- who in the book is a virgin-become-mother, who both mothers Anne and is mothered by her as Anne helps give birth to Marilla's long-repressed true self. Rachel Lynde, as in Judaism, stands for fertility, the mother of Avonlea, a symbol of plenty and fecundity and earthy women -- it's no accident she's fat and poor love-starved Marilla is thin. Diana is a pagan, sensual girl, who is always described as wearing (or eating) something red, and is the only character in the book to get drunk. Her physicality is sometimes set against Anne's spirituality -- but not too much, because this isn't a book about either/or but about both/and when it comes to the physical and spiritual.

It's a book about mutually-supportive relationships between and among women and how that love helps them self-actualize. There's only ever room for one man at a time in these novels -- not until Matthew dies can Gilbert enter Anne's life, because men are so secondary to the narrative in Anne, which is about the webs of support that women weave to support and uplift each other, to hold together communities, to make it possible for women to become fully self-actualized, spiritual, intellectual, bodily people.

I think, in some ways, it would have been a bit of a cheat for Anne to become a famous writer, because a large point the novel makes is not that women can be just like men, but that women are fully-actualized human beings as women and don't have to imitate men; that the world of women is rich and valuable, and that women are not thereby less intelligent or less spiritual than men. Having her become a wife and mother, as most women of that era did, and leading a rich, fulfilling life in that role is probably a more fit ending to Anne's story than if she'd been "exceptional," since Lucy Maud Montgomery's (hereafter to be known as literary Beyoncé) entire point is that it's not just the rare, unusual woman who has a rich interior life -- it's all women.

[oceansprompts]

adjust pronouns, names, and details as needed... assorted quotes taken from marvel ultimate alliance 3: the black order. part 1 of ???

❝ Well, that's another planet we'll never be able to visit again.❞

❝ Yeah, well, I don't go to museums to read. I go there to steal. ❞

❝ Anyone else would waited to offend their clients until AFTER they were paid. ❞

❝ I'm not anyone else. I'm one of a kind, baby. ❞

❝ Oh, oh, don't you side with them, you overgrown-- ❞

❝ Cosmic Cubes. Nega-Bands, Asgardian Hammers... You know, the kind of stuff people pay big money for. ❞

❝  If I were hiding an object of immense cosmic power, I would want it to look that way as well. ❞

❝ I was going to say "any survivors." But sure... Treasure is always good, too. ❞

❝ Seriously? No welcoming committee? ❞

❝ Over there! Such a shiny switch is begging to be flipped! ❞

❝ Easy to say for the man with the ridiculous boot jets! ❞

❝ If our plan fails, the blood of every being in this universe will be on your hands. ❞

❝ Idiots! Your stupidity may have doomed the universe! ❞

❝ Wouldn't be the first time, sweetheart. ❞

❝ Danger and chaos! Two of my favorite things! ❞

❝ Don't get too comfy, pal. Final destination's right on the other side of this door. ❞

❝ What the frutak was that?! ❞

❝ If we stop fighting for just a minute, we might be able to find a way to fix this. ❞

❝ You will leave here with nothing. Not even your lives. I have felled worlds. Your pathetic attacks cannot harm me. ❞

❝ We weren't tryin' to hurt ya. Just to distract ya. ❞

❝ I think I'm gonna hurl. Oh, great! You're here! I thought we were dead. We aren't dead, are we? ❞

❝ I have felt death. This...is slightly less pleasant. ❞

❝ We are alive. But we could be anywhere in space or time. The Infinity Stones are not plaything ❞

❝ Hey! I did exactly what you said. I saved the items of insane power from the psycho space lady. ❞

❝ You can? And you just sat there listening to us jabber?! Do it already! Oh, great. We save the universe from disaster, but we're the ones that end up in prison?! ❞

❝ I just grabbed the stone and thought of somewhere safe. ❞

❝ What'd I tell ya? You need cell doors disarmed and opened? I'm your guy! ❞

❝ Been to more prisons in more galaxies than I can count. This? This is new... ❞

❝ Nothin' like a good old-fashioned cellblock brawl to make me feel right at home... ❞

❝ I hear ya, buddy. This sure brings back some memories, don't it? ❞

❝ Earth? Huh. I guess home is still my happy place... ❞

❝ Next time you teleport us across the galaxy, try to think of a beach instead! ❞

❝ Not that I'm complainin' ...but shouldn't a prison have, you know, guards? ❞

❝ You put me here! You buried me in a dark cell for life! Now, I'm gonna burry YOU ...dead or alive! ❞

❝ A teleportin' dog? Is this some kinda joke? ❞

❝ Of all the planets in the universe, for some reason, ours is the one that seems to be under attack frequently. ❞

❝ Why are we talking when we could be smashing? ❞

❝ Figures. Just consider yourself lucky that I've got a team of heroes on speed dial for missions of universal importance like this one. ❞

❝ I guess stopping a super-villain prison break is going to be the easiest part of our day, huh? ❞

❝ Is this the part where you bark orders at us then? ❞

❝ Oh, don't worry, little heroes. I have plenty more toys for you to play with! ❞

❝ Magic isn't for everyone. ❞

❝ Only one of us lives through this. Spoiler. It's me. ❞

❝ Free time is over, punks. Time for lights out. ❞

❝ Aw, come on! You have GOT to be kidding me! Let's make this count. I am NOT doing this a third time! Can we make this quick? ❞

❝ Not cool! This is totally what oppression looks like! I demand a phone call, a lawyer, and a fair trail! ❞

❝ When I get out of here, I'm really gonna let you have it! Just give me, like, ten, fifteen minutes to recover, okay? Thanks! ❞

❝ Sooo... What's new? Other than the fact that I totally just embarrassed myself in front of my idols... ❞

❝ Is "Nameless Villain" a common career choice over here? ❞

❝ Yeah, it may rip the timestream to shreds, but you gotta admit, it's pretty flarkin' hilarious! ❞

[astrronomemes]

A CINDERELLA STORY: STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 2004 film, A Cinderella Story. change & alter as needed.

"Do fairy tales come true, [name]?"

"Where do princesses go to college?"

"You know, fairy tales aren't just about finding handsome princes. They're about fulfilling your dreams, and about standing up for what you believe in."

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

"You know, it costs them a fortune to fly this stuff all the way from Norwegia."

"What are you doing just standing there? Get to work."

"People go to school to get smarter, so that they can get a job. You already have a job. So it's like skipping a step."

"Droughts are for poor people!"

"[Name], I am a method actor, okay? This is part of my training."

"I've talked to her, okay? In my mind. And let me tell you, in my mind, she wants me so bad."

"And you thought they didn't know you exist."

"Sometimes fantasy is better than reality, [name]."

"I can be surrounded by a sea of people, and still feel all alone."

"It's two AM. We've been at this for five hours."

"What's with all those college brochures in your bedroom?"

"What are you, the Dirt Police? Like, 'excuse me, miss, do you know how fast your dirt was going'?"

"Sweetheart, now that you're old enough, there's something I've always wanted to tell you, and I think you're finally ready to hear it."

"Keep it up, [name], and I'm gonna find a place to put my six-dollar pedicure."

"[Name], if I wanted to look like a clown, I'd join the circus."

"I am a very appealing person!"

"Fortunately for you, I'm going to overlook this mental breakdown of yours."

"If a man is taking his time to write down his feelings for you, it's a love note."

"She's gonna have to go through me to hurt you."

"You're always studying, always working... Take some time for yourself!"

"I was saving this dress for my next attempt down the aisle. ...Long story."

"I cannot believe I put you in charge of costumes."

"Any guy would have to be completely insane not to like you, all right?"

"I knew this was too good to be true."

"I guess my costume doesn't do a very good job at hiding who I am."

"I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they're not. But when I talk to you... I'm the guy I want to be. Give me a chance to be that guy."

"If I ask you to dance, does that count as a question?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"And do you, [full name], ever want to see me again after tonight?"

"I was right in the middle of a power jam! You totally harshed my mellow!"

"I'll be doing him a favor if I just disappear."

"I can't show emotion for another hour and a half."

"I know you want to take care of this car, but can you step on it?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm already going thirty-eight in a thirty-five-mile zone, [name]!"

"What am I supposed to do with a dead fish?!"

"Isn't it better to cling to what might have been instead of ruining everything with reality?"

"Let's go back to our usual lives, where we only mingle when I copy off you in Algebra II, okay?"

"Look, you're beautiful, okay? But I'm not your prince. You'll meet him someday, but it's not me."

"Look what you did! See?! You always ruin everything!"

"Do you ever feel like if you show someone who you really are, they won't accept you?"

"I want you to know who I am. But I'm scared. I'm scared that you'll reject me."

"I can't believe I actually thought I had a chance."

"We have faith in you. And you've got to have faith in yourself."

"I had no idea you were that tough."

"I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along."

"I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was. But I'm not anymore."

"[Name] told me where you might be. I thought you could use a friend."

"[Name], I thought that I could handle this, but I really can't. I'm gonna go."

"You've got to love high school."

"Anything is possible if you just believe."

"Hey, I'm only a freshman!"

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

going insane about Hamlet: Act 2 edition. let’s get straight into it

- firstly, Polonius makes me feel many things. Mostly rage. Frustration. Vague annoyance. The need to stab something through a curtain. I don’t know what he’s trying to accomplish by paying someone to slander his son (a lie, I know his reasoning and I think it’s dumb) but he’s just a strange old man and I don’t like him. Polonius enjoyers (if you exist) please make your case because I don’t know if there is anything I’m supposed to be seeing in this guy. only redeeming quality was having generally okay kids and being killed off in Act 3

- the scene where Hamlet startles Ophelia in her chambers is so endlessly funny to me. you have to really visualise the scene to get it, the imagery is silly. imagine you’re having a normal day and your bf walks in with his pants down except this is like pre 1600s Catholic Europe so you freak out and then he just acts really weird and walks out weirder. poor Ophelia your boyfriend’s only going to get worse and more unrecognisable from here but we’re staying silly until then

- I’ve never been able to read any of the scenes with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern quite the same after the banger play that is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I thank Tom Stoppard for taking what was originally two characters I didn’t know where my feelings lay towards and making them the silliest little guys under the sun. I sort of change my feelings on how ‘canon’ I consider the interpretation each time I read the book, but I like having the option

- Hamlet’s letter to Ophelia also makes me feel many things. ‘Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love (I never loved you)’. I’m on the bandwagon that Hamlet did truly love Ophelia at least prior to the events of the play (and then I switch up depending on the readings again), but I find again that it adds to the tragic element to spend time considering the lives they led before the King’s death. I’ll probably delve mostly into the relationship of these two in my Act 3 ramblings (starring such wonderful quotes as ‘Get thee to a nunnery’ and ‘That’s a fair thought, to lie between maid’s legs’) but goodness. ‘Thine evermore most dear Lady, whilst this machine is to him, Hamlet.’

- Hamlet’s habit of using wordplay to mock and annoy the people he doesn’t respect will always be funny to me, but it’s increased prominence whenever in the presence of Polonius is excessively so. This man is taking every single opportunity to twist this old man’s words into some odd pun or another and it’s so very silly. ‘Excellent, you are a fishmonger.’ ‘Have you a daughter? Let her not walk i’ th’ sun’ also blatantly making comments about your girlfriend in front of her conservative dad is insane but. I guess that’s the angle

- ‘What do you read my Lord?’ ‘Words, words, words’ oh he hates this man

- ‘You cannot sir take from my anything that I will more willingly part withal (except my life)’ has lived in my head rent free since reading. icon

- I’ve annotated my irl copy of Hamlet with pink markers every time he makes a misogynistic comment, and within roughly 30 seconds of meeting his childhood friends, he’s found an excuse to pull another one out of the bag. I suppose it is interesting how his misogyny does seem to be a very direct result of his glaring mother issues however, specifically his mother’s sexual promiscuity (of a kind) distressing him so much that it’s tainted his entire view of women as a whole.

- and then he drops two of the hardest lines back-to-back, ‘There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so’, and ‘O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a King of infinite space; were it not that I have bad dreams’. like okay slayy

- immediately calling R&G out on their bs. It’s not paranoia if they’re out to get you, or something

- ‘My Lord, I have news to tell you-‘ ‘mY lOrD, I hAvE nEwS tO tElL yOu. when Roscius was an actor in Rome-‘ oh he HATES this man

- we as a society don’t talk enough about Hamlet being a theatre kid methinks

- ooh I love the ‘rogue and peasant slave am I’ soliloquy. at this point, it’s been four months since the King was murdered, and two months since his ghost has asked Hamlet to take revenge. and still nothing has happened. Hamlet’s pretended to go mad, but hasn’t been able to make up his mind on what to actually do just yet, and he’s starting to hate himself for it. I also love getting to see the thought process behind his actions, and honestly things are still making sense from his perspective at this point. Yes it’s been a while, but he also has no definitive proof that the murder actually happened. For all he knows, the ghost was a devilish apparition trying to trick him into committing an unforgivable sin. And we’re still at the point where we can justify this, even if we might consider it a little indecisive of him a whole two months after. It’s just a silly little spiel that leads well into the next act, and I just like to read it out loud

Not as much on this act, but I’m saving all the juice for Act 3, my personal favourite >:) see you soon

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Anyone else remember how Percy literally stole the Senate from under "Conspirator Extraordinaire, Literally Pointed As The Politician By The Book" Octavian's feet, like, my boy did that. "I'm so glad you asked!" Get rekt.

Actually, no, I'm including the full quote:

"The camp is safe,” Octavian continued. “I’ll be the first to congratulate our heroes for bringing back the legion’s eagle and so much Imperial gold! Truly we have been blessed with good fortune. But why do more? Why tempt fate?” “I’m glad you asked.” Percy stood, taking the question as an opening. Octavian stammered, “I wasn’t—” “—part of the quest,” Percy said. “Yes, I know. And you’re wise to let me explain, since I was.” Some of the senators snickered. Octavian had no choice but to sit down and try not to look embarrassed.

"You're wise to let me explain, since I was." LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Also, that dig about his loyalty earlier, that everyone likes to bring up because of Percy's outrage? A direct response to Percy making a convincing argument (convincing for his audience) for allowing the quest when they were all ranging from hesitant to scoffing about it:

Finally Senator Larry stood. “I know what Mars said, but that’s crazy. Alaska is cursed! They call it the land beyond the gods for a reason. It’s so far north, the Roman gods have no power there. The place is swarming with monsters. No demigod has come back from there alive since—” “Since you lost your eagle,” Percy said. Larry was so startled, he fell back on his podex. “Look,” Percy continued, “I know I’m new here. I know you guys don’t like to mention that massacre in the nineteen-eighties—” “He mentioned it!” one of the ghosts whimpered. “—But don’t you get it?” Percy continued. “The Fifth Cohort led that expedition. We failed, and we have to be responsible for making things right. That’s why Mars is sending us. This giant, the son of Gaea—he’s the one who defeated your forces thirty years ago. I’m sure of it. Now he’s sitting up there in Alaska with a chained death god, and all your old equipment. He’s mustering his armies and sending them south to attack this camp.”

I have to say. Does this sound as an argument Percy would find compelling? He doesn't say so in the narration, but right here he is definitely working his crowd. And then he doesn't acknowledge the veiled accusation of treason that immediately follows the above quote like I cannot overstate that Octavian saw Percy as a threat and jumped to undermine him, proving not only his awareness of when he's being provoked, but the ability to control his temper in such situations (as seen before when Chiron asks him what he'd think of being though of as a story about children who lose their mothers and when he first meets Ares, when he's feeling his influence but doesn't have any legitimate reason to resent him), and succeeds in distracting even Octavian from his attempt to throw dirt on him.

He does something similar later when Octavian argues that they shouldn't provide any aid for the quest:

An uneasy murmur passed through the crowd. Frank jumped to his feet. Before he could start a fight, Percy said, “Fine! No problem. But at least give us transportation. Gaea is the earth goddess, right? Going overland, across the earth—I’m guessing we should avoid that. Plus, it’ll be too slow."

He saw the futility of the constant arguing and negotiating in circles and 1) made a show of good faith by accepting some of Octavian's conditions while 2) including his own request. The way he phrased it, at least to me, came across as rhetorically presenting himself and his friends as stoic Roman heroes to the Senate, going off in part from Octavian's own description and in part from the appeal he made earlier (second quote), while also pushing Octavian into a position where he had to meet him in the middle with the transportation (Should he have done this instead of pushing for more help? Possibly. That's a good question that, not knowing how the conversation would have gone in that case, I can't answer. I'm pointing out that Percy was very much thinking about the best way to direct the meeting here.)

He also showed how unflinching he could be under pressure when Reyna unfairly (both to Percy and to Frank, the actual leader of the quest — although, to be fair, Percy and Hazel were the ones doing the heavy lifting with the Senate in that scene while he stood back, probably cowed by his hurricane promotion and the constant reminders Octavian made about his supposed inadequacy for the role) puts responsibility on him for defending the quest and laying out a plan for it. He even calmed her when he saw her start to flounder.

“First things first.” Percy tried to sound confident, though he could feel the level of panic rising in the room. “I don’t know who the seven are, or what that old prophecy means, exactly. But first we have to free Thanatos. Mars told us we only needed three people for the quest to Alaska. Let’s concentrate on succeeding with that and getting back before the Feast of Fortuna. Then we can worry about the Doors of Death.”

Bolding mine because Percy has to be worried. He doesn't really know what to do besides what he outlines here. In the previous paragraph he's thinking of all the awful things that could happen in monsters can't be reliably killed. However, just like in this quote, he's thinking about it in reference to how it affects other people. If it was up to him, he'd be in one of his "this is so hopeless, we're gonna die, we have no clue, the world sucks" brooding sessions, but, because he's talking to a desperate crowd —one that's deciding whether anything will be done to solve the dangerous situation at all, which is one thing Percy is always in favor of— he puts on his big boy toga and leads them all to a more optimistic, active and effective outlook.

All of this to say... I can see why Reyna sought to recruit him after this.

[aa-carnivorousfatality]

Incorrect quotes. Ft. Carnage, Lasher and Mayhem

Lasher: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Carnage, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Mayhem, whispering: Because I have little hands. Carnage: Because they have little hands.

Mayhem: I will find us a covered wagon and horses. Mayhem: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone. Lasher: Oh, please. We're not children. *Mayhem leaves* Lasher, casually: ...Eat shit and die. Carnage, also casually: Yes, fuck you

Lasher: So what’s the plan? Carnage: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Mayhem* they’re mean, come up with something.

Carnage: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Mayhem: How did you know I was up until 3am? Lasher: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

Carnage: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Lasher: The final boss. Mayhem: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Carnage: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

Mayhem: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Carnage: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Mayhem: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Lasher: Edible.

Mayhem: I have locked Lasher in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard. Carnage: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that. Mayhem: I’m blackmailing them. Carnage: Oh, happy days.

Lasher: What would Carnage think? Mayhem: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?

Mayhem: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :) Carnage: I forgot I was doing a test. Mayhem: Carnage. Carnage: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny.... Lasher: Carnage.

Carnage: Do you cook? Mayhem: I made a cake once. Lasher: Yeah, it was good. Mayhem: Really? Lasher: Don’t make me lie twice, Mayhem

Lasher: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Mayhem: How? Lasher: I need someone to take the fall. Mayhem: What did you do? Lasher: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Carnage, from the other room: Oh my god. Lasher: ... Carnage: OH MY GOD! Mayhem: Make it a hundred. Lasher: Deal.

*Carnage teaching Lasher to drive and taking Mayhem along for the ride* Carnage: That's a pothole. To the left! Lasher: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* Mayhem, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. Lasher: I don't think that's how the song goes. Carnage, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. Lasher: Country Roads. Mayhem: To the place. Lasher and Mayhem in unison: I Belong! Carnage, crying harder: What the fuck?

Lasher: When Mayhem was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world." Carnage: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

Lasher: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Mayhem's birthday invitations. Carnage: Well, what are they supposed to say? Lasher: "Mayhem's birthday". Carnage: So, what do they say instead? Lasher: "Mayhem’s bi". Carnage: Carnage: Works out either way.

Carnage: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Mayhem, rushing in: Carnage! Lasher tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Lasher: We need to open this locked door. Mayhem, give me your credit card. Mayhem: Here. Lasher, pocketing it: Thanks. Carnage, break down the door.

Carnage: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Mayhem: 420? Carnage: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Lasher: 69. Carnage: Yeah it was 69.

[stevedeschaines]

It’s one of those “good news / bad news” days for all potential fall 2025 Dartmouth College applicants. The good news is you are once again going to be judged at least somewhat on your quantifiable intellectual merits. (Yay! Unless you’re stupid! In which case — dang!) The bad news is that this means you can’t get away with hiding that lame SAT score and applying “early decision” anymore to lock in a first-mover advantage. For the Ivy League university is formally reinstating standardized-testing requirements for all applicants to the class of 2029 after a four-year interregnum of test-free applications. It seemed at the time rather obviously like a dangerous experiment in admitting a wildly underqualified and unprepared student body — very much the equivalent of surfing the internet without a firewall, exploring a BSL-4 biolab in Wuhan without a hazmat suit, or cruising the French Quarter without French letters. It turns out that after four years of this, Dartmouth agrees, and it has decided to protect itself again. Dartmouth first “temporarily suspended” its SAT/ACT application requirement back in June 2020, during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic. I use scare quotes around the phrase “temporarily suspended” because it was understood at the time to be an act of educational activism made possible by the societal dislocation of Covid — a pilot program whereby Dartmouth could finally access a greater pool of minority applicants. (Yes, folks: It was a DEI initiative at its core.) The chronic underperformance of minority groups in standardized testing has plagued America for decades, but it has dramatically worsened in recent years; here was a way perhaps to — under the guise of a temporary Covid provision — level the playing field. (Last year, in a poorly timed effort to hop onto a stalling bandwagon, Columbia University announced that it was abolishing the SAT/ACT requirement permanently; the law school, tellingly, instead floated the idea of requiring a “video application.” Either way, it’s rather obvious what goal they’re working toward.) If for nothing more than black comedy, it would be fun to believe that the reason Dartmouth reinstated its standardized-testing requirement is that, having dispensed with the only neutral metric universities have to gauge applicants with, student quality precipitously dropped off a cliff. (Imagine some grey-templed guy with suspenders shaking his head disgustedly as he tosses yet another simpering “Dartmouth ’26” résumé into the trash can.) In all probability, however, what Dartmouth saw was something far worse: Even more rich white people were being admitted.

The cruelest joke about removing the standardized-testing requirement for elite colleges is that the policy — designed specifically as a way to increase minority enrollment — achieves the exact opposite of what colleges intend. Rich and privileged mediocrities used to have their parents donate to secure admission to elite schools. Now, in an era of exponentially increased competition for admission, the rich simply hire six-figure “college counselors” who stage-manage a child’s entire life down to the em dashes in their admissions essays. The one thing those parents and pros cannot do is walk into a testing room and take a child’s exam for them. (Well, not legally, at least; Lord only knows what some parents get up to.)

And the glorious irony of Dartmouth’s failed experiment is that it was these children — the least impressive of all, spoiled children of privilege without any real intellectual ability — who won big from Dartmouth’s woke move. My guess is that these types got in and accepted offers in disproportionate numbers . . . because all the other elite schools that still required an SAT score rejected them instantly. (Another big win for restorative justice!)

The beauty of standardized testing is that — no matter how many tutors paid for or practice tests taken — it ultimately tells real truths about the undeniable natural abilities of humans beyond the crude and forever visible markers of race and class. Tests are the great equalizer, the proof that while education is subject to class and privilege, intelligence respects no boundaries. I can do no better than to quote the editors of National Review on this subject:

Clinical studies have shown that standardized testing does exactly what you expected it would: It identifies intellectually gifted children from all strata of society, but even more crucially allows talented children from disadvantaged backgrounds (whether economic or minority) to shine in a way their local educational opportunities (or a chaotic home life) might never have permitted. It forms the essence of what any just conception of America as a so-called meritocracy was supposed to be about: You might have gone to Phillips Exeter Academy and had the best SAT tutors available to you — but this kid over here living above his parents’ corner store and studying when he doesn’t have to mind the shop? He took it once and scored a 1590.

So I, for one, applaud Dartmouth’s restoration of the SAT/ACT requirement for applicants, even if I wish I could believe that it was doing it because it feared that it was producing freshmen of lower intellectual caliber. Instead, you can bet that the real reason is that the policy was allowing too many rich kids who only looked good “on paper” to slip through the cracks. So now I suppose it’s back to the drawing board for the school’s DEI and admissions offices, working diligently to find a more effective way to discriminate.

[chellyfishing]

today i’m thinking about personal responsibility. putting it under a cut cause i expect it to be a bit of a ramble.

so, here’s the thing. we live in a society, and it sucks. it doesn’t accommodate huge numbers of people, and it normalizes a lot of really harmful beliefs. though there are a range of cultures around the world i don’t think there are any who don’t do this, but obviously some are better about it than others.

and it shouldn’t be like this. but no matter what, there would always be a measure of personal responsibility to take. society can make us worse people but we always have the choice to do better on our own.

this isn’t my point or the main thing i’m thinking about today but a big example of this is with mental illness. as someone who has that so bad the us government considers me disabled and unable to work, obviously i am hugely sympathetic to anyone who is dealing with that. if any of my friends are struggling, my inbox and arms are always open to them. society should do more to accommodate us, and like with physical disability, none of us should be forced to live in poverty because our inability to produce capital for others has made us “less worthy.” (huge air quotes around that. the biggest you can imagine.) we deserve support and accommodations and the ability to live well, just like everyone else does!!

here’s where the topic at hand comes in: having a mental illness is a job of its own, and you can’t quit it. it means you have to do more work than other people, and that sucks. it’s not fair. but you have to do it. you have to find the right treatment (therapy, medication, something else, but something), you have to follow through on that, you have to learn and implement skills for managing your symptoms. you have to do it and you cannot expect other people to do it for you. if you want others to help and support you (and you deserve that!!) you have got to meet them halfway. you cannot expect them to reshape their entire worlds for you. you have got to try. it’s hard and you will not always succeed but you have to try.

the same thing goes for harmful internalized beliefs about things like gender, sexuality, race, and so on. for example, it’s very common for women to have internalized misogyny! and we unfortunately have to do the work of overcoming that within ourselves. many women don’t. many women choose to be misogynist. many women give up and decide to participate in harmful systems and become tools of their own oppressors.

and the same thing goes for (and here i take a deep breath) toxic masculinity. people who have internalized that and are hurting as a result will often blame women and feminism, and let’s pretend for a second they’re right! guess what: you still have to do the work to help yourself, no matter whose “fault” it is.

like, it makes me really sad when men say they don’t have any close male friends. that SUCKS. no cap, hate that for you. i would not be alive without my friends, and i still struggle with loneliness because none of them are local, but at least i have people who are there for me like i try to be there for them.

here’s where my point comes in: well, guy… have you tried… talking to other men? i know it’s hard, but you can still do it. you have already done the first step of recognizing that the reason you don’t have close male friends is because you know you and other men have been shamed for that kind of thing in the past. that is, genuinely, an amazing start. the next step is to do something about it. i’m not saying immediately send a dm to john or abdul spilling your guts. but maybe if one of the men you know is behaving in a way that seems off, like they seem especially angry or passive-aggressive or run-down, you can send a dm or text or whatever saying hey, is there something going on? they may not be ready to talk, but like. you’re trying. and you have to try. you are not going to overcome this loneliness and isolation without trying.

and i know that there are people who read this and say “it’s not so easy!” i’m not saying it’s easy. like i said, mental health and recovery is my job. i know how hard things are. they aren’t going to get any easier by avoiding them. you have try to be strong, you have to try to be brave, you have to take the risk that maybe you’ll be embarrassed or hurt or something, but you have to try!! no one else is going to do it for you!!

and guess what. if all else fails, look into therapy. you can say whatever you want to a therapist, they are paid to listen to you, and if they breathe a word of any of it they get jail for one thousand years (actually i’m not sure what the penalty is but i know there is one!). you can even say, i want a male therapist, because then they’ll understand what it’s like to be a man and know where you’re coming from!

ANYWAY. this is just a bugbear of mine. i have encountered more than one person who used their mental illness as an excuse to wreak havoc on the lives of others and refused to take any accountability for any of it. obviously that makes me angry. women who are misogynist? furious. there is work involved and you have to be the one to do it. it is hard and you will not always succeed but. you have to try.

okay. i have vented my spleen to the void. I don’t think anyone who needs to see this will, and i don’t think they’d take it to heart if they did, because this is the piss on the poor website. but like. man. please. all of you. try. that’s all.