#to her. something to ironically hope for
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Kicking my feet and twirling my hair as I read Makoto's comments whenever he inspects something. Also my god he wants to destroy the cameras so badly. LET HIM
#ooc ramblings.#alex replays danganronpa //#i wouldn't be surprised if he has a full-on chair moment but with a camera (those who know tsukihime understand)#also random thought as I play through the game: isn't it interesting and ironic that Makoto in a way became Junko's hope?#tag essay coming up LMFAO#what she wants most of all is something unpredictable; it's why she dove right into the chaos of what she considers despair.#how she can predict and analyze everything perfectly drove her to be bored beyond belief. but there is an exception to that: Makoto and his#luck. and it's specifically Makoto's luck-- Komaeda's luck for example is comprehendable to her. but not the giganormie's#he's the ultimate wild card. it's not that he had an absolute chance of foiling her plans as much as she just had no clue what would happen#with him in the mix and she kept him around because of that possibility/unknown. to Junko Makoto is THE unknown and unpredictable future#and the idea of him foiling her plans would bring her despair. an incredible despair. and she loves despair so that's just a positive#to her. something to ironically hope for#man. Junko is just a fantastic antagonist and her dynamic with Makoto is so fascinating! I love her
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Some sketches I did to try to get a feel for what I want my Rook to look like 🤔
#I'll probably have to change the hair tbh#I haven't seen hair quite like this in the cc videos#the one dreadlocks+half bun hairstyle I saw wasn't quite the right vibe?? too short tbh#and lacking some shape#I just hope someone mods bg3 hairstyles into the game......... I had this one specific bg3 hair mod in mind while I was drawing her#but I'd settle for any long dreadlocks hairstyle tbh 😔#ironically I think I'll end up going for the short one in game 🫠 I feel like the shape of it fits the vibe I'm going for with her#which is like. kind of edgy fjdjjfjf very angular#can you tell I'm eyeing the antivan crow background for my 1rst playthrough........#sketch tag#dragon age#datv#sleepyscribble#I love her face. I definitely want to keep her face exactly like this#I'm only unsure about the scar and the makeup#I was thinking something like a lightning scar on the side of her face#which I could use to come up with something for her backstory later(trauma <3)#story wise I have a general idea of where I want to go with her but it's very like. just vibes rn#I'm thinking of going for angst with 'taken into the crows as a kid + being a crow is a huge part of who she is'#and 'being a crow is something she might want to stop being. but she can't. because she doesn't know how to be anything else'#I started thinking abt that while reading through the backgrounds and I thought yeowch. I have to go with crow now#but other than that I'm also looking forward to playing mostly purple rook so nfncnncncm she'll be an absolute disaster#also in my head her name is renata and her voice sounds a bit like josephine's
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hiya! re: coraline telling wybie about the other mother, in your opinion/in your version of the story did coraline actually go through that as a child or do you see it more of a trauma response to cope with moving and an unhappy family life? like was it all real or did she imagine that as a means of escapism?
Hi! I know there's a popular theory that Coraline did actually imagine alot of it as a means of escapism. It's a cool theory! I'm surprised no one's made a gritty angsty fic on it.
But in my project her experiences were very real ☺️
#kittchats#I think people assuming she trauma processed something as a child is what adds to her self doubt in later years#Like - what if they're right and I just blotted something bad out?#- I can't talk to normal people about this they're going to end up admitting me somewhere.#- This is all stuff Wybie's grandma went through as a child but she didn't have a potential support system at hand.#Which is ironically now her grandson for Coraline.#I REALLY hope I'm able to communicate this in the comic 🥹
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[insert witty one-liner]
#pokemon#pkmn#art#pkmnart#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#purrloin#pokemon oc#pmd oc#oc tag#may have gone a little too overboard with this one ^^;;#anyways have a kibby! she's had a very very small redesign#hoping to do something more with her in the future#edit: move is iron tail btw!#(oc) vex
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“The Past is Present,” Phases of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2024), #3.
Writer: Justina Ireland; Penciler and Inker: Daniel Bayliss; Colorist: Dee Cunniffe; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Phases of the Moon Knight#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Hunter’s Moon#Ellie Johnson#Khonshu#tw blood#cw blood#Spector’s a specter (for real this time and not just in the I feel undead sense)#it’s reminding me a bit of when Iron Heart had that Tony Stark AI#although can I just say I love the weaponry#and how the gash on her head translates to the crescent moon marking on her face in costume#she also reminds me a bit of Niecy from that one extra with Blade back in vol. 9 (that would be a powerful team-up)#and then there’s poor Marc continuing to roam the mortal plane and witness Khonshu continue to manipulate hurting people#but the least Marc can do is try to help/pass on his knowledge (even if it’s cautionary words about how this is a choice#that may haunt Ellie even after she becomes something that haunts)#fascinating the parallels between Marc at the foot of Khonshu’s statue and Ellie outside the MK costume’s case#gives a bit of a hope that where Marc mainly had Khonshu trying to influence him#at least Ellie will have a slightly better influence/guide in Marc
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finished the show!! 10/10, better than I expected, yum! definitely wanna draw something about that, but it seems polite to tag spoilers - so blacklist b7spoiler if you're in the shoes of me an hour ago xD
#blakes 7#b7spoiler#spoilers ensue here too#god what a tasty gut stabbing#my brain is already racing making blake-anna parallels#avon shot her too on instinct on the first thought of betrayal#and then the suiside??? the episode was made for me personally#from the spoilers i assumed that blake truly was the betrayer who was working with federation#but learning that he still was with them? that is so ironic i lovvvve it#also can't not make the parallel with rorschach begging for death when he realized all was lost#also also i'm thinking that this time avon didn't rush to blake as soon as he learned where he was was because he just couldn'r re-live#the lost hope again......#also also also i'm assuming that orac was looking for clues allllll the time they were separated so avon was hoping against all odds#that it will find something#just waiting and hoping and telling himself that there's no chance and still hoping and hating himself for it and still hoping....#and then shooting the hope himself!!!!!!
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watched the first 2 episodes of acolyte and so far i like every character except for the main one lol. (also is her name osha as in occupational safety and health administration??)
#star wars#the acolyte#acolyte#the nemoidian faces look really good#definitely the best looking prequel alien from the last few shows#rather ironic to name Miss Hazardous Workplace Conditions 'Osha' lol#the assassin lady was really cool looking#it was pretty funny to see that the 120bby sith assassins are reasonably friendly to each other#and at least help each other somewhat#and then there's poor ventress (and briefly savage ig) who just get force-zapped a bunch#the conversation between sol and vernesta(?) at the end of ep 2 was also pretty funny#vernestra: well we have to take time to Thoughtfully Deliberate this situation so we can respond wisely :)#sol: SHE IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL ME???#poor guy hope the situation works out better for him#hey at least his new padawan (orange theelin) is smart#anyways might draw one of them idk#more inclined to draw nightsisters and soft wars rn but we'll see#whos the sith(?) cant be plageius bc hes a muun right?#how old is palpatine again? was the acolyte project his Sith Senior Thesis or something like that#unrelated but the scene of the jedi running around the ice planet bareheaded was so infuriating lol#PUT ON YOUR HOODS I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM#maybe i'll draw hats for them all#i found it a bit weird that they basically gave osha the anakin background? having her be *eight* specifically when she got to the temple#felt a bit off#kind of like it's taking away from the caution around anakin's induction? since i think koth was four and that was considered 'late'#so for a non-prophecied random kid to show up at age eight?#on the other hand maybe they only got cautious about age after this whole debacle happened? idk i'll see what happens#ok i think thats all
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Almost all of the coverage I've seen regarding Polin has been centered around how Colin Learned to See Penelope and how She fell first, He went completely unhinged. All the nice, good, positive things about friends-to-lovers and two people falling in love.
But one thing I haven't seen discussed is Penelope's actions between hearing that he would never court her and his apology.
She thinks after he goes out of his way to save her from her cousin's fake ruby mines and dances with her and "You're special to me, I'll always look out for you" that Colin must've finally come to see her as a romantic option. But then, when confronted by some toxic dudes about their relationship, Colin is like Ew, no, never in your wildest fantasies.
She's been in love with this boy for years at this point and this is the final nail that he, and by extension the rest of the Ton, will never see her as anything other than a joke. She has no respect, she is not viewed as a romantic option, her and her family are a joke. And it was Colin that said it.
This is her final straw. She's hurt and so she hurts him. Either on purpose or in an attempt to protect herself. She never says whether she read his letters, we only hear that she never responded. He said to her before that she is a constant in his life, that she would never forsake him, and she does just that. Because he did it first (without knowing). She withholds her friendship and affection because he doesn't want to court her.
Sounds a lot like a certain subset of men. Men who befriend women and are nice with the expectation of sex. (I don't truly believe this, but it was brought to my attention in this way.)
She withholds her letters, the one thing that he looks forward to on those trips, because he unknowingly hurt her. Cutting him off from her affection is what causes him to realize some measure of his feelings for her, so it ends up working in her favor, but it's still an abusive move.
It does help her find the strength to finally confront him about his behavior last season, which is the communication they needed to move forward. But it is in her anger and giving up that she is able to find the strength to even remotely touch on her feelings for him, and his feelings for her.
#polin#bridgerton#this was brought to me by my husband#i've done this to him as well#ironically#there was an instance when i went to visit him#i had written a fanfic and was trying to get our friends to be supportive#i knew they didn't respect it but i hoped they respected me#and thus would be nice to me about my fanfiction#and so i framed it with “oh it's so dumb i wrote this right lol”#and they all said yes but weren't kidding#none of them offered to read it#none of them said good job that's a lot of words#they all just made fun of me#my husband the chameleon people pleaser#joined them#finally at the airport i tried one last time to seek a connection about that fanfiction#and when he continued to make fun of me i withheld my affections#i didn't hold his hand#i didn't kiss him#i was leaving for an indeterminate amount of time#he asked me what was wrong and i told him#this is something i'm proud of and i don't appreciate you and your friends making fun of me#i thought you of all people would support me#he realized then that i was genuinely hurt and apologized#sometimes oblivious boys need a grander gesture to understand the depth of your hurt#colin said some inflammatory shit and penelope withheld her affections#when confronted#he repented#she repented
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Reposting some do my old art!! I won't do all of them of course since there's too many, but here's a bunch of OC art from all the way back at 2022
#GOD THIS IS SO OLD...#So many ocs i have long abandoned...#Small info on them#The one with the short pink ponytail is Alice and she is MARRIED to brown hair girl aka Melinda#technically im also Melinda HAHA i did that alot with OCs back then#they were my first actually developed fully OCs that were lesbians#The ginger and white ponytail girlies are the same one- Suki Hirei#She used to be the protagonist of a fan project i had but that died#The short brown hair girl and blue hair girl are two girls from a dream i had! it was VERY gay#Brown is Arn and Blue is Cairo!#The crazy ahh brown hair as the first image is an abandoned concept and purple hair girl is just something i felt liek drawing#Last one is Masaru Aimon! i think ive had her for the longest? might be my first oc ever#She was a danganronpa one though... LMAO#Suki was also a dangan girly#Melinda is a Witch's heart girlie#SO IS THE LITTLE GIRL WITH THE LONGER PINK PONYTAIL#Alice is a general OC#White hair with the purple poison tsunami is a Winter Moon OC! the webtoon yeah#her name is amelia ironically#RANT OVERRR IF YOU READ I HOPE YOU GOT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME IN A SILLY FRIENDLY WAY#I'll gradually start posting more and more recent art and skip over a couple too#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital artist#OC#oc art#MarshMelia Art
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just saw the barbie movie and honestly i can't believe there aren't more posts about Gloria??? like i understand that it was The Barbie Movie and Barbie is the main character and it's About Her, but it's only about her because it's actually deep down about Gloria
#mj talks#barbie 2023#i don't know i just think that Gloria was the actual heart and center of the movie#a woman felt so out of place in her own life and left behind by the passage of time#that these feelings brought to life and forever changed someone in another dimension#like. Gloria's loneliness is the only reason any of this happened#and her love and kindness and continued grasp on hope is why anything got solved#yes barbie had an incredible transformation and you love to see it!#but can we please talk about Gloria?#the woman who still has enough childlike wonder in her to keep a barbie at her desk#the woman who makes up funny ironic dolls to deal with her own overwhelming emotions#the woman who hears that barbie is real and IMMEDIATELY decides she needs to help her#i loved the moment when she said she was going to help barbie because she wanted to!#because she never gets anything she wants anymore and this is something she wants to do!#YES we are going with barbie to barbieland. NO i am not going to feel ashamed about it.#Gloria shows that we don't have to be ashamed of our interests and our femininity as we age#keep that childlike sense of wonder! hold on to that imagination!#idk i just had a lot of feelings about gloria
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The BEST fanfic I've EVER read was written in like, 2014 or something, last updated in 2017 (unfinished). I REGULARLY go back and re-read all the chapters like a ritual, the fandom died YEARS ago as well. TODAY I WOKE UP, GUESS WHAT?? 7 FUCKING YEARS LATER, THERE'S A NEW UPDATE!! HOLY SHIT!! NEW CHAPTER!! LETS GOOOOOOOOO!!!
#reading chapter 23 giggling and kicking my feet rn#im yapping sorry#i need this author to have her shit published it's SO fucking good#un-ironically tho im always worried the website is gonna shut down randomly so I hope she does cross-post the fic on ao3 or something in ca#like im not shitting u with how DEAD the website is and how DEAD the fandom is#the character its abt is my pfp LMFAOOO
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I feel like I should disconnect for a few months to be productive but if I'm left alone with my brain I think I'll have a crisis
#c3personal#if the actual problem was the internet sucking up all my time that'd be one thing but. that's not the problem#the problem is my useless empty brain#ironically even tho the internet is overstimulating me as fuck at least it keeps reigniting some motivation and hope#and without that like. idk how I'd cope cause there is 0 motivation coming from my real life#being around my mom has been making me spiral into hopelessness so badly I sat down to make something today and I couldn't manage#you'd think being treated like shit would motivate me to prove myself but nope it just makes me make myself small and act out the useless#role she expects out of me#if I have to overhear her tell ppl how useless I am one more time I'm gonna fucking idk. idk#I keep saying I can't bear it but then I bear it
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“All that I've been taught // And every word I've got // Is foreign to me” — Hozier, Foreigner’s God
Aka "nooo dont grieve the life you spent running away from everything and wish you could go back to that life of uncertainty, where you constantly wonder if you can survive another day, rather than stand in the middle of a civil war which has nothing to do with you, you're so cool and sexy you're literally the mythical hero of a land where everyone detests your kind ahahahh"
A silly drawing of my Bosaltmer Dovahkiin, Baltana :))
I fiddled with her design a little, aka i added a different facial tattoo (which mirrors Lynwallyn's because hehe they're twins)
-> a companion piece to this older drawing of Lynwallyn
(Alternative version under the cut; possible eyestrain warning)
#oh tana we're really in it now#oc: baltana#i love me a reluctant hero <3 so thats what she essentially is#like imagine being a nobody your entire life then later become an assassin whose main deal is to be a silent executor#so she's really used to not being noticed and then bam. the whole province knows about her and she has these weird powers#that can make people explode and stuff. not to mention they all hope she was someone different & keep forcing their dreams and hopes#on her when she literally did not ask for any of it. suddenly her name opens a lot of doors and grants her so many contacts but she sees#through everyone's smile and knows they're full of shit. she's everything they hoped the dovahkiin not to be and yet.#she wants to belong so bad but her entire existence is just contrary yo everyone's beliefs. and it hurts so so much but she doesn't let#it consume her nor convince her to use her powers to destroy everything. she saves a world she cares very little about and doesn't even get#proper recognition for it which makes her so frustrated but yknow. what can you do#in the end it's better for her to be remembered as something entirely different than what she actually was bc ironically it means#the real her becomes forgotten. goes unnoticed#so yeah. no i cant make a normal happy character why do you ask#long tags#digital art#stellar.artz#stellar.ocs#tesblr#skyrim#skyrim tes#skyrim dragonborn#dovahkiin
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being a smaller creator is fun and cool actually because I can be REALLY embarrassing online and nobody gives a shit because i'm like a little worm to them
#i made some jokes on stream tonight about sssniperwolfs ulitmate heel turn that i feel a larger creator would get a lot more heat for so#if youre digging through my stuff after i've reached maximum famous levels check out my silent hill 2 playthrough#because like... if this were fiction it'd be really funny right. the sssniperwolf thing? it would be funny#but she's just the worst and it is not fiction#she doxxxed a dude to her bajillions of fans and thats horrible#but i mean the full crazy???? the total bonkers nutzo moment???? the fall from grace???? that stuff is FUNNY#anyway i hope the government hides him and his wife in a bunker or something#i wish a very ironic justice to her
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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I think I need to stop waiting to have a close relationship with my siblings. All it ends up doing is make me sad every time I get home from a get-together. I think about the ones that didn't talk to me, the ones that only relate to me through their kids, the ones that only know things from 15+ years ago, I just need to let it all go.
#i have 5 siblings why is it my eldest sis and her bf were the only ones to have a proper convo with me the entire day#also i was talking about how i had to clean the blood off my mom after she had a nasty fall recently and i learned something too-#apparently they all think i faint at the sight of blood bc of something that happened 18??? years ago??? they all started laughing#even tho the fainting then was bc i'm iron deficient and didn't know it then - i couldn't stay conscious from all the blood i lost#it seems like such a petty thing to get snagged on but these misconceptions just remind me that they don't bother to know anything about me#it just swirls around and around in my head and i need to stop they're not thinking about it i need to stop too#tumblring by moonlight#personal#it's selfish i wish my little brother didn't break up with his gf we're friends i could've talked to her at least... i hope she's doing ok#5 siblings but sometimes i feel like an only child
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