the entire history of the dceu, i guess
I wanted to write about the entire history of Batman or The Flash but uh, their histories might take a whole book to write. Then I thought of Batgirl, but uh, as much as I love her, I’m only really familiar with her later Oracle days and her Batgirl days from 2011-2018, whereas in the case of the other two mentioned I’ve read pretty much every consequential issue (am I flexing? maybe). I am gonna try to read every single comic she’s in though :P. Huh, it’s only 61 TPBs. The list is not complete, but if we factor in all those that I’ve already read and those yet to read, I think they level out. There are probably much more complete lists, but I can’t find any as easily scrapable ones.
Man Of Steel (2013)
Budget: $225–258 million
Box Office: $668 million
IMDb: 7.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics: 56% Audience:75%
(Note: None of these are actual metrics for how good the movies are, you’ll see why I’m including those.)
In 2008, after WB’s disappointment with the box office of the sixth instalment in the Superman series, they decided to reboot the film series.
The writer for The Dark Knight trilogy, David S. Goyer, expressed his idea for a Superman movie to Christopher Nolan, and impressed, Nolan pitched the idea to the studio, and were both hired to write and produce the movie respectively. A few directors were considered, notably Ben Affleck (Batman, in the future) and Matt Reeves (directed The Batman, in the future), but ultimately Zack Snyder was chosen in 2010. There was an idea to set the movie in the TDK trilogy universe, but it was decided against (thank god for that, please, the movies are perfect as is). Anyways, the movie was a box office success, even while critical responses were not so much. Okay, well, it’s Superman, so it’s not very unexpected. I, for one, am not a huge fan of the movie. As much as I looooove darker stories, come on, it’s Superman, the paragon of hope! It’s not a terrible movie, but as a Superman movie, yeah, no. Anyways, seeing the success of the movie, they went along with their idea for a connected universe.
I’ll write a summary for the plot below every movie’s sections, skip if you don’t want to be spoiled. You know what, just read it through. There’s nothing much very consequential since the axing of Zack Snyder’s Justice League, and like every superhero is gonna be recast and rebooted, so it doesn’t matter.
Plot: Basically a Superman origin story. If you don’t remember, you can go back to my shallow dive into the Justice League :) The villain is Zod, who wants to terraform (Kryptoform?) Earth and make it habitable for Kryptonians. And Superman also has uhhh the genetic code to fabricate baby Kryptonians placed in him? Which Zod wants to use to repopulate.
Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016)
Budget: $250–300 million
Box Office: $873.6 million
IMDb: 6.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 29% A: 63% (Yikes)
In 2013, it was announced that Zack Snyder is going to be returning for a Man Of Steel sequel, and later confirmed by Snyder that Batman and Superman (and Wonder Woman) were going to meet for the first time on the big screen and that it was going to be inspired by Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns comic, which depicts an older, more brutal Batman.
You can see that clearly in the suit.
The movie opened to a whopping $422.5 million and then experienced an 81.2% decline in its second weekend. The movie seems to have been carried by the hype for Batman and Superman, like wow.
The Rotten Tomatoes website's critical consensus reads: "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice smothers a potentially powerful story – and some of America's most iconic superheroes – in a grim whirlwind of effects-driven action." I, too, disliked the movie. I am quite a new DC fan, but even for me, it felt like it butchered the characters of Batman and Superman, although Superman to a lesser extent. Batman kills??? And why exactly does he want to kill Superman??? Also, that plot point would have been made more impactful if Batman didn’t kill freaking goons???
Wow uh, that’s quite a few Golden Raspberries. Yikes, even Catwoman won 4.
Plot: Superman’s fight with Zod created a lot of collateral damage and also destroyed the Wayne Enterprises building, so Batman resents Superman. Lex Luthor manipulates them into hating each other, and he ransoms Superman’s mom to get him to kill Batman. Superman tries to talk to Batman and Batman attacks??? (he got kryptonite). Batman comes to his senses just before he deals the killing blow. Superman confronts Luthor, and Luthor unleashes Doomsday, a monster designed to kill Superman using Kryptonian DNA. Wonder Woman appears. Superman and Doomsday kill each other. Everyone big sad. The End.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Budget: $175 million
Box Office: $747 million
IMDb: 5.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 26% A: 58%
The film was announced in 2009 and David Ayer signed on to direct in 2014. Ah, where do I begin? The movie was set to have a sombre tone, but with the failure of BvS and the success of Deadpool, the studio worked on a second, lighter cut than Ayer’s and then tried to reach a place of “consensus” between the two. The reshoots cost around $22 million, more than the typical $6-$10 million, and changed the entire third act, and changed Joker and Harley’s relationship to be less abusive??? Thankfully, Birds Of Prey later remedied that, but the emancipation of Harley Quinn would have been much better had it been preserved in Suicide Squad.
The movie was a box office success, but the movie is regarded as possibly the worst DC film made, which is not an easy feat, as much as I hate to admit it.
I have no comments on this movie. Because I have no memory of when I watched this movie, except for Harley Quinn and how badly the movie treated her. Huh. I don’t remember anything except for Harley Quinn. Wow. That is quite a feat considering how much I love the Suicide Squad from the comics and individual characters like Captain Boomerang, Katana, and Killer Croc. Oh yeah, and Amanda Waller. She’s an awesome character in every version, and Viola Davis does a great job.
Plot: Superman dies, so Amanda Waller creates Task Force X, a team made up of supervillains forced to do Waller's bidding because of a bomb injected in their neck that she can detonate at any time. An archaeologist becomes possessed by a witch named Enchantress. Turns the city into monsters, summons brother to destroy mankind, the Suicide Squad beat Enchantress, yada yada, I’ll fall asleep if I’m forced to read this, just read it here
Wonder Woman (2017)
Budget: $120–150 million
Box office: $822.8 million
IMDb: 7.4/10 (wow I thought it would be higher than that)
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 93% A: 83% (You can see why I thought that)
DC’s first gem. Heralded as DCEU’s best film, the film was a hit among critics and the audience.
Plans for a Wonder Woman film date back to 1996. After going through a lot of directors and actresses, Patty Jenkins took up the role of director in 2015 and Gal Gadot was casted by Zack Snyder to appear in BvS in 2013. This movie is also an origin story, set in the 1910s in World War I.
Also, listen to this
I loved this so much. I got into DC in 2018, so this movie was my first exposure to Wonder Woman, and oh boy was it a good one. The acting was awesome, the action scenes were perfect, humour and romance weren’t overbearing and bettered the film.
Plot: Princess Diana is a resident of Themyscira, an island of immortal women and only women. The island is usually shrouded from the outside world, but one day, an American pilot named Steve Trevor crashlands into the island and is followed by German forces who were pursuing him. The Themyscirans fight them off but incur heavy losses. Steve is interrogated using the Lasso Of Truth/Hestia and reveals that there is a war going on in the “land of man”, as the Themyscirans call it, and Diana convinces Hippolyta (oh whoops, I forgot to mention, Themyscirans are Amazons, at least, a sect of them. It’s the same Hippolyta from Greek myth, but modified to fit the story. She’s Diana’s mom. Antiope is also there, but she’s killed off.) to let her go and stop the war, believing that Ares is behind it. And she arms herself with the lasso, a “god-killer” sword, and the armour, and leaves for London. She fights Ares. Steve sacrifices himself, and Wonder Woman beats Ares, WWI is over.
Justice League (2017) and Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)
Budget: $275 + $25 (reshoots) million
Box Office: $657.9 million
IMDb: 6.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 39% A: 67%
The biggest disappointment in comic book movie history. After the release of Man Of Steel, Goyer was hired again to write a sequel (BvS) and a Justice League movie. In 2014, it was announced that Zack Snyder would be directing the movie. The production went along and filming wrapped up in Oct 2016. However, in the wake of Snyder’s daughter’s death, he had to step down. They then hired Joss Whedon, the director of Avengers and Avengers: Age Of Ultron, seeing the success of those movies. Under his direction, it went through two months of reshoots costing $25 million. The reshoots coincided with the filming of Mission Impossible: Fallout so Henry Cavill was contractually obligated to keep a moustache for it, so uh… His moustache had to be digitally removed which led to uh…
Justice League - Opening Superman Scene - Mustache Movieclip
Anyways, there were a lot of changes made. There are multiple sources estimating how much was changed. The producer said in an interview that the film was shot originally by eighty to eighty-five percent. I’m too dumb to understand what that means, maybe you’ll be able to. Snyder said around a fourth from what he had been told (he didn’t watch the movie), and the cinematographer said 10%. Whedon’s rewrites were also around 80 pages, so it was mostly his work. The movie was mandated by execs to be under 2 hours, which is the dumbest freaking decision, considering the only superheroes in the movie we’ve met so far are Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.
Controversy and Changes
It was later reported that Snyder’s rough cut was deemed unwatchable by studio execs.
Ray Fisher, the actor for Cyborg, and Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman, came out with claims against Joss Whedon, with Fisher saying “Joss Wheadon’s on-set treatment of the cast and crew of Justice League was gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable.” and Gadot claiming that Whedon threatened her career if she refused to do something.
There’s a controversial scene in AvengersAoU where in the chaos of Ultron’s attack, Bruce Banner (Hulk) falls on Black Widow’s chest. It’s a horrible sexist thing to have in your movie already, but even more egregious is that he does the exact same thing in Justice League with The Flash falling on Wonder Woman’s chest. Gadot refused to do this scene and it had to be filmed with a double. Seriously dude? You didn’t reconsider after the actor said no?
Chris Terrio considered the Whedon cut an act of vandalism and unsuccessfully tried to get his name removed from the movie.
The Whedon cut was significantly lighter in tone and featured much less violence as the studio was not happy with the results of the previous darker movies, and you know, it is directed by the director of Avengers.
Tom “Junkie XL” Holkenberg completely scored the movie, but halfway into post-production, was replaced by Danny Elfman, composer of Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992).
The movie was exactly 2 hours, removing 90 minutes of Snyder footage, but still adhering to the basic outline
Christopher Nolan and Deborah Snyder (his wife and producer) advised him never to watch the film as it would break his heart. I see what she means, it broke my heart as a huge DC fan, imagine being the creator of a work that you poured blood, sweat and tears into and someone else comes in and completely butchers it.
The underperformance led to the studio deciding to ditch Snyder’s vision for a universe of interconnected films to focus on solo movies.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League
Budget: $70 million to finish the movie
Box Office: Direct-to-video
IMDb: 8.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 71% A: 93%
#ReleaseTheSnyderCut
After the release of the “Josstice League”, fans created a petition to #ReleaseTheSnyderCut that gained more than 180,000 signatures. Various members of the cast showed support for the movement.
Ahead of San Diego Comic Con 2019, a crowdfunding campaign was started, with half to be spent on advertising and the other half going to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They purchased ad space on billboards, two in Times Square and a flying banner ad that passed over WB Studios. The fans raised over $500,000 for the ASFP in donations by Feb 2021.
In March 2019, Snyder confirmed that his original cut existed, but that it was up to the studio to release it. The following month, he posted a photo of boxes with tapes labelled “Z.S.J.L. Director’s Cut” captioned “Is it real? Does it exist? Of course it does.”
The studio approached Snyder proposing to release the cut unfinished as he had left it, but he refused, insisting on finishing it if it was to be released. In Feb 2020, WB decided to move forward. In May 2020, Snyder announced that his cut titled “Zack Snyder’s Justice League” would be released on HBO Max in 2021.
Differences
At least 10 comic characters were cut, including but not limited to, Iris West, The Flash’s wife, Ryan Choi, the not-yet Atom, and Darkseid, the big bad of the Justice League, basically DC’s Thanos (technically, Darkseid came before, but not in live-action media, so :P) and Martian Manhunter, a main member of the Justice League.
A lot of the backstory for the new characters like Aquaman, The Flash, and Cyborg. Cyborg was supposed to be the “heart” of the story, but he had barely any character in the Whedon cut. The Flash is relegated to just comic relief and has pretty much no role in the climax when he had a huge role. Aquaman’s backstory was also cut, but it’s less egregious because of the existence of the solo movie. Even Batman was affected. He is more indecisive, oafish, and obsessive, while in Snyder’s cut, he’s more optimistic and inspired by Superman’s sacrifice. His dynamic with Wonder Woman was also similarly butchered, and she was very sexually objectified.
This was cut. Do I need to elaborate? Well, there is symbolism, but eh I’m lazy. Also, this is a reference to “The Death Of Superman.” storyline.
Just look at this. He went from a menacing alien monster to man in armour. His character was similarly butchered. I’ll expand on the plot section.
Dumb freaking jokes and quips. Marvel style. Except it doesn’t work at all in this movie. In the MCU the audience is used to that tone. Shoe-horning in jokes in a movie that was meant to be dark doesn’t work at all, especially when they make no sense and are just plain unfunny.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League has 4 hours of runtime. Snyder was given free rein, and he made full use of that. It has a lot of his signature slow-mo scenes, and there are a lot more details too because of that.
Story Differences
The outline of the plot is basically the same, but every character is very fleshed out. We see how Victor Stone turned into the Cyborg, his relationship with his parents, how his powers work, etc, and the same treatment is given to Flash and Aquaman. Cyborg did very little in the theatrical cut, but he’s a decent character in the Snyder cut.
The theatrical version of Steppenwolf was probably the worst villain in comic book movies, but Snyder’s version fleshed him out and has much more of a motivation. In the theatrical cut he wants to destroy Earth for seemingly no reason, and there’s no mention of the Anti-Life equation, which is like Darkseid’s signature weapon. Steppenwolf is on Earth to gain Darkseid’s favour again after betraying him in the past, and he finds out that the Anti-Life Equation is in the Earth’s core.
Oh yeah, the climax. I’ll talk about it when I explain the plot because it’s the biggest change.
Plot:
Blue text is only in Snyder cut, red is only in Josstice League, and white text is in both movies.
Thousands of years ago, Darkseid Steppenwolf came to Earth to destroy it in search of the Anti-Life equation and to build his parademon army. But the Atlanteans, Amazons, and humanity came together to defeat them, and his three Mother Boxes were confiscated, and each tribe stored them away safely. In the present day, sensing Superman, Earth’s protector’s death, the Mother Boxes call out to Steppenwolf, and he arrives in Themyscira, defeats the Amazons, and steals their Mother Box, and Diana is alerted, and she finds out about the war against Darkseid. She and Bruce team up to gather other metahumans to fight an incoming threat that Lex Luthor warned Bruce about in the previous movie and one that the Parademon's presence made obvious. Bruce first goes to Aquaman, but he refuses. Then Diana goes to Cyborg, who also refuses, but he returns home to find his place ransacked and dad missing, and Bruce successfully recruits Barry because… he needed friends. Honestly, mood.
Then, the Atlantean outpost is attacked and Mera and Aquaman fail to protect the Mother Box. Then the team received intel from Jim Gordon, while Cyborg joins them, and they discover Steppenwolf’s hideout under the Gotham Harbor, where he’s interrogating S.T.A.R Labs employees, one of them being Silas Stone, Victor’s dad. They fight Steppenwolf, and in the process, the facility is flooded, when Aquaman arrives and buys them time to escape. The team retrieves the Mother Box Silas used to rebuild Victor’s body after he met with a car accident, and the team realizes they could bring Superman back with it. They exhume Superman’s body and revive him in the Kryptonian ship that he arrived on Earth in. An amnesiac Superman then attacks the team and comes to his senses when Lois Lane arrives at the scene. Steppenwolf arrives at S.T.A.R Labs and tries to take the Mother Box when Silas sacrifices himself to superheat the Mother Box. This allows the team to locate the Mother Box using its heat signature. The team travels to an abandoned Russian city, a renamed Pripyat. I swear, this will be relevant. Aquaman and Wonder Woman fight off Steppenwolf, while Cyborg is separating the Mother Boxes (oops, I forgot, if the Mother Boxes conjoin and create a Unity, the Earth is razed and everyone is turned into parademons.), and Batman and The Flash fights off parademons and later rescues a family of people trying to escape whatever Steppenwolf is doing to the place. Okay, so 1. This is an abandoned town hit with a nuclear meltdown. 2. This messes with continuity. The Flash (2023) and ZSJL establish that he cannot relocate people. In the former, it is explicitly stated, and in the latter, it’s shown to us, when he just helps people along to escape in the Gotham Harbor fight, and he saves Iris with small taps. 3. The Flash barely has a role. I’m not saving people is not a vital thing to do, but like, look at what everyone else is doing! Also, they cut such a badass scene to make… whatever the heck we got. Meanwhile, Barry is circling the area to build up a charge to separate the Mother Boxes. Steppenwolf then overpowers the two of them, stabs Victor and rips him away from the Mother Boxes and then Superman arrives with the cheesiest line.
Steppenwolf: They’re too weak to see the truth.
Superman: Well… I believe in truth. But I’m also a fan of Justice.
And proceeds to curb-stomp Steppenwolf. Yes, I know it’s a reference to “Truth, Justice and The American Way” but eugh, could have been done so much better. Especially when you see what they cut to make that scene.
Superman then leaves to… relocate… a freaking building full of civilians. It’s like the movie forgot that it was supposed to be abandoned. Also, do I need to explain what’s wrong with this?
swings at Victor, when Superman lands in front of him, and says “Not impressed.”, and proceeds to curbstomp Steppenwolf.
Just look at this and tell me which one is badass.
Victor keeps getting interrupted by Steppenwolf, so Barry is unable to charge it, but by the time Superman arrives and Victor gets back in position, Barry gets shot, and the Mother Boxes form Unity, and the Earth is destroyed… until this happens. I don’t want to describe this scene, it’s that good.
Whoo, goosebumps. This here is the scene that Whedon cut out to make him save a random family. Instead of the Earth, and quite possibly multiple planets. And provided a payoff to the scene where he turns back time just a little bit earlier in the movie. And set up The Flash movie. And it felt so good to have him finally play a role after being comic relief for the whole movie.
After the fight, a few things happen. 1. Bruce has a Knightmare (get it? Cuz The Dark Knight is having a nightmare? Yeah… not subtle at all.) where Superman has established an authoritarian role and Batman is teamed up with Joker and most everyone else is dead. 2. Martian Manhunter reveals himself to Bruce and offers to help when the time comes. 3. Lex Luthor tells Deathstroke Batman’s identity to help him kill him.
Ooooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyy that was long. Still alive? Good. We are only halfway done.
Aquaman (2018)
Budget: $160–200 million
Box Office: $1.148 billion (Wow.)
IMDb: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C:65% A: 72%
Huh did not expect that. DC’s highest grossing movie is Aquaman. Aquaman, the butt of every Justice League joke. Aquaman performed better than Batman v. Superman, a movie with two of the most iconic superheroes ever, and Justice League, the team of the most iconic superheroes. Okay, well, the movies themselves were not very good, but like, Aquaman. Sorry, I just can’t get over that fact. I personally love like (let’s not go that far. Despite being King of Atlantis and my love for the ocean, he’s still not very likeable in the comics. The movies are good though, they do his abrasiveness quite well.) Aquaman (No, it’s not just because of Jason Momoa’s abs, shuddup), but he never struck me as a very popular character.
This movie is a sort of origin story..? This movie takes place after Justice League, where he was man with trident who talked to fish, while in this movie he comes into his role as King of Atlantis.
I loved the movie. Obviously. I loved Jason Momoa’s acting, I love his characterization, his character arc, I love how well the underwater CGI is done, I loved Atlantis, the adaptation of Black Manta, Orm is good enough. Especially after reading the comics.
Plot: Origin story. Not very many additions, but it includes Black Manta’s origins, a son of a pirate that Aquaman refused to save, and now he made his life’s mission hunting him down. Never really liked him, kind of a boring villain writing, just look at Reverse Flash to see how well it can be accomplished.
Shazam! (2019)
Budget: $90–100 million
Box Office: $367.7 million
IMDb: 7/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 90% A: 82% (Wow, critics score higher than audience.)
From the supposedly “dark” franchise, we get a comedy film. Okay, well, the main character is a teenage kid, would be dumb to make it dark. Okay, I take that back, Damian Wayne stories are about a pre-teen kid, and do they get dark sometimes. Anyways, it’s a pretty funny movie, not very deep, but enjoyable and a reprieve. I just realized I missed Shazam! in my Justice League shallow dive :P. Well, this will be good enough ig. Also, did you know Shazam! was called Captain Marvel? Well, he still is, sometimes, but they can’t market him as Captain Marvel. It is a little off-topic, but let me take you back to the 1940s. In the 1940s, Captain Marvel was the most popular superhero around, outselling even Superman. This led to DC getting salty, and they decided to sue Fawcett Comics, then owner of the character, for infringing their copyright for Superman. In 1941 DC tried unsuccessfully to stop Fawcett from publishing them and from Republic Films from releasing a serial based on the character. Fawcett won, due to a technicality, but found that he was indeed an illegal copy. Then in 1951, DC appealed the decision, and due to the drop in comic sales, Fawcett decided it was not worth fighting and paid DC for damages and dissolved its comics in the coming years, and in 1967 Marvel trademarked the name in 1972 and that was an issue when DC licensed the rights to all Fawcett characters, and that led to them retitling it to Shazam!. Anyways, sorry for lengthening this already gigantic post.
I liked the movie. It does its job as a comedy superhero film pretty well, and it’s a good adaptation of him. Yeah, nothing much to say here.
Plot: Billy Batson is a kid in the foster system, who keeps running away from foster homes in search of his mother, and he eventually lands in the house of Víctor and Rosa Vásquez with five other children, Mary Bromfield, Pedro Peña, Eugene Choi, Darla Dudley, and superhero enthusiast Freddy Freeman. He gets selected by a wizard to be his new champion, giving him the ability to turn into an adult man who has the Wisdom of Solomon, the Strength of Hercules, the Stamina of Atlas, the Lightning of Zeus, the Courage of Achilles, and the Speed of Mercury (I do not know why the first is Christian, the next five Greek and the last Roman. Although, I guess Shazah doesn’t have the same ring to it.)
In a flashback at the beginning of the movie, we see Thaddeus Sivana also tested by the wizard but is rejected because of his greed, and he lives the rest of his life consumed by anger due to that.
Sivana deduces his identity, and he takes his foster sibling hostage in exchange for the power, but he shares his powers with them and they team up to beat Sivana.
Birds Of Prey And The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
Budget: $82-100 million
Box Office: $205.3 million
IMDb: 6.1/10
RT: C: 79% A: 78%
The film adaptation of my personal favourite DC teams. I mean, an all-girls (most of the time) team with Batgirl and Black Canary (most of the time)?
Margot Robbie, the actress for Harley Quinn, pitched the idea for a Harley Quinn spin-off in 2015, before the release of Suicide Squad, as "an R-rated girl gang film including Harley because I was like, 'Harley needs friends.'” She spent 3 years working on it and WB decided to make and it hired Cathy Yan, which makes this one of the few superhero films directed by a woman of colour. Batgirl was excluded from the movie for her standalone film. Huh, I thought it was because she was a problematic character to adapt. In 2018 it was announced that the lineup would include Huntress, Black Canary, and Renee Montoya. I refuse to call her Cassandra Cain. With so many things that the movie did right, Cassandra Cain is not it. She has 0 characteristics of the comic book character and I’m not even being hyperbolic. Seriously, I dare you to find one similarity. I’ll just be calling her uhhh Pickpocket. Yeah, that’s good enough.
I watched the movie again today, and oh my god, it. is. AWESOME! Harley Quinn is awesome, obviously. Huntress, oh my god, she’s my new celeb crush.
She’s soooo badass. She has this arc like, she just got into the role, and is trying so hard to be badass, practising in the mirror, saying stuff like “Do you know who I am?”, and “They call me… The Huntress.” It’s also a running gag that whenever she says “They call me…” the other party replies “The Crossbow Killer” and “Helena Bertinelli!”. But she’s so badass when she’s not trying, true to the comics version.
Renee is also cool, a little older tho, but that’s fine.
Oh, Black Canary was soooo good too. A pretty good adaptation, though not truly comic-accurate.
Cassandra Cain. Just read my Batfamily shallow dive, and read her character here. You’ll see why I refuse to call her Cassandra Cain.
Plot: Years ago, all of the Bertinelli family is gunned down for their fortune, but Helena survives and is taken in and trained as an assassin, and is trying to kill all the people responsible for the massacre of her family (The plot is pretty uhh back-and-forthey, and it keeps switching between flashbacks and the present, so I’m going to try to do this chronologically).
Dinah Lance breaks Roman Sionis’s (Black Mask, played by… Ewan McGregor… Obi-Wan Kenobi. I’m sorry when he commits all these evil deeds I can’t see anyone but Obi-Wan Kenobi. Not his fault, I’m just really bad at not relating it to actors’ past roles.) driver’s legs and is hired by him to be his new driver.
GCPD detective Renee Montoya is investigating the “Crossbow Killer” murders and tries to recruit Dinah as an informant, but she refuses.
Four years after the events of Suicide Squad, Joker and Harley break up, and because no one believed that they were actually broken up, Harley drives a truck into ACE Chemicals, “publicly announcing her relationship status”.
Sionis sends Victor Zsasz and Dinah to retrieve a diamond embedded with the account numbers to the Bertinelli Fortune, but Pickpocket steals it, but she’s caught by the police, so she swallows it.
Harley is kidnapped by Sionis’s men, and she offers to steal the diamond back, and after she’s sent to retrieve it, a bounty is placed on Pickpocket. Harley breaks into the GCPD and rescues Cassandra. They hide out at Harley’s apartment, which is bombed by Sionis’s men. Harley calls Sionis to exchange Pickpocket for his protection, Dinah notifies Montoya, Zsasz tells Sionis about her betrayal, and Sionis dons his eponymous “Black Mask” and decides to go after them at Amusement Mile.
At the park, Montoya confronts Harley, but they fight and Montoya is defenestrated. Zsasz arrives and shoots Harley with a tranq, and holds Dinah at gunpoint when he arrives, but he’s shot by Helena. Montoya returns and tells Helena that Sionis orchestrated the massacre when Sionis arrives with an army of henchmen. They fight, but Pickpocket is caught, and Harley and Huntress try to save her. Pickpocket reveals that she had a grenade in hand, and blows Sionis up, in the only scene that I could think of that gave this movie an R rating, aside from the f words. Montoya quits the GCPD, and Helena, Dinah and Montoya create the crimefighting team of Birds Of Prey.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Budget: $200 million
Box Office: $169.6 million
IMDb: 5.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 58% A: 73%
Plot: Diana gets a wishing stone, wishes for Steve Trevor back, and he comes back… in another man’s body??? And they have sex while he is in another man’s body??? Yeah, I don’t know how no one saw any issue with that. A woman jealous of Diana’s beauty and popularity wishes to be like her, and turns into a Cheetah, a businessman named Maxwell Lord gets the stone, saves his company, makes everyone in the world wish for anything and chaos unfolds and Diana renounces her wish and Steve is gone, Wonder Woman and Cheetah fight, Max and Diana fight, everyone renounces their wish, the end.
(Yeah, I’m in a rush, and this movie is too terrible for me to put any effort into it. Sorry.)
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Budget: $185 million
Box Office: $168.7 million
IMDb: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 90% A: 82%
Yeah, confusing name, I know, but it’s more of a relaunch than a direct sequel.
This is the movie I said where the box office will be relevant. For such a critically acclaimed movie, it grossed only $168 million, the lowest of any DCEU film.
In 2018, James Gunn, director of Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 1-3, and several other… let’s just say interesting films, and now co-CEO of DC Films. I didn’t really know much about him, until recently, except that he directed an awesome DC movie, and he’s possibly the best person to take DC forward according to other people.
How James Gunn Deradicalizes the Manosphere | A RETROSPECTIVE
Watch this to see why I love him so much now. Oh wait oops um… His movies have some pretty… disturbing imagery, so uh only watch it if you’re up for that…. Which you probably definitely aren’t.
DC first asked him to make a Superman movie, which he said he didn’t know if he wanted to make, so they told him he could adapt any DC property he wanted to, and he chose Suicide Squad.
He also insisted on an R-rating, which I love it for. The movie would not be the same without the gratuitous violence. Yeahhh, I did a full 180 from cringing at amputations to loving gratuitous violence. Wow. Who knew I’d be here? I mean okay, it’s obviously where I’d have been, after reading Attack On Titan and Chainsaw Man and DC Black Label stuff.
He took inspiration from John Ostrander’s 1980s Suicide Squad run, drawn to it because of its loser B-grade supervillains.
The first character he chose was King Shark, who was supposed to be in the first movie but was replaced by Killer Croc, and the others added were Peacemaker, Polka-Dot Man, and a gender-swapped Ratcatcher.
He chose Starro The Conqueror as the villain, who struck him as absurd but terrifying, reflecting what he wanted to do with the film.
I don’t really care much for actors, but there’s one actor I’ve loved for a long time. David Dastmalchian, Polka-Dot Man. Why do I love this guy you haven’t ever heard about? Well, look at his roles.
The Dark Knight (2008) - Thomas Schiff, one of Joker’s deranged henchmen.
Ant-Man (2015), Ant-Man and The Wasp (2018), What If..? Episode 5 (2021), Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania - Kurt, (in the first three ) one of Ant-Man’s friends, and in the latter movie, a being named… Veb?
Gotham (2017) - Dwight Pollard, one of Joker’s followers.
The Flash (2017, 2021) - Abra Kabadra, a Flash villain who’s a technomagician.
Batman: The Long Halloween, Part One and Two (2021) - Julian Day (Calendar Man), Oswald Cobblepot (Penguin)
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Yep, he played 8 different roles in superhero movies and 6 in various DC media. If I were an actress, I would want a resume just like that.
David Dastmalchian suffered from bullying due to his vitiligo in his childhood and developed depression and addiction, and comics gave him much-needed escapism and became somewhat of a comic devotee.
He first auditioned for a member of the Joker crew in the famous heist scene from The Dark Knight, but he didn’t get the part and was devastated. Four months later, however, he received a call that he was cast as Thomas Schiff. A small role, but one he credits with changing his life.
That’s why he was perfect for the role of Polka-Dot Man. Gunn wrote the character with Dastmalchian in mind.
Gunn messaged him saying that he wanted him in his film, and he was wrought with anticipation for what role he was going to play.
“I am very familiar with so much of the DC canon, and I know the DC villains so well, and he’s like, ‘I want you to be Abner Krill, Polka-Dot Man,'” Dastmalchian recalled. “I was so embarrassed. And I’m like, ‘James, I’m so sorry. I don’t know anything about him.’ He’s like, ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. I want you to read the script and let me know how you feel.'”
“I was jumping up and down. I was crying. I was yelling,” Dastmalchian said. “I was so moved by what I read, and I was so moved by the thought that he would imagine me getting to bring to life a character that was beautifully created. James told me that when he was writing the character, he just saw me in his place.”
Polka-Dot Man’s abusive mother infected him with an alien virus, to turn him into a superhero, but it left him covered in polka dots and pustules, leading to ridicule and bullying. You can see how he could connect with a character like that.
“I connected with Abner from his first line,” he says. Dastmalchian sees Polka-Dot Man as an avatar for triumph against one’s insecurities.
“I love that Abner came to a point where he not only embraces his strangeness, he turns it into a superpower,” Dastmalchian says. “That’s what we all can do. We have things about ourselves that make us insecure, that make us ashamed. We keep things locked up, and they end up eating us from the inside.”
“We can do the work, get therapy or connect with people that help expel those viruses,” he explains. “We can love ourselves and figure we are meant to be the way we are. We’re fucking superheroes.”
Also, Peacemaker is John Cena.
It’s such a great movie, I was shocked to learn that it was the lowest-grossing DC movie. I guess an R-rating, a pandemic, a terrible prequel and a simultaneous streaming release will do that.
It’s a hilarious, gory, self-aware, ridiculous movie and an awesome adaptation of lesser-known DC supervillains that have been given a new lease on life. And also, Harley Quinn is great, obviously.
Plot: Amanda Waller assembles two Task Force X teams, who are sent to the island nation of Corto Maltese, unaware of each other. The movie goes into quite a bit of effort building character, to unceremoniously annihilate them, but Colonel Rick Flag and Harley Quinn survive. Their massacre provided a distraction for the other team to arrive safely. The team is commanded to find Flag and Harley Quinn, and massacre a soldier base, only to find out it belonged to a rebel group. Harley is captured by the dictator who is in love with Harley. Harley, after her experience with Joker, kills him and in a ridiculously over-the-top, awesome action sequence escapes to find… the others executing a “really good plan” to rescue her. She joins them and finds out that the Project Starfish, whose files they were there to destroy, was funded by the US Government, and the team splits, with one side dedicated to their mission, and the other who wanted to expose the secret. Peacemaker, on the former side, kills Flag but is killed by Bloodsport before he could kill Ratcatcher. Then Starro escapes and starts controlling the cities’ population. Waller orders them to leave, deeming the mission complete, but they revolt, and when Waller was about to detonate the bombs, she is knocked out by a member of the team, and directs them to defeat Starro. In a post-credits scene, the revolters are punished by assigning them to a new mission with Peacemaker, who is revealed to be alive.
Peacemaker (2021)
IMDb: 8.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes: C: 94% A: 89%
A spin-off series set after the events of The Suicide Squad directed by James Gunn.
It follows Peacemaker and Waller’s subordinates punished for insubordination by having to work with Peacemaker. I won’t go into the plot in detail, because it’s an 8 episode series with long ass episodes. The basic premise is, there’s an alien invasion of Butterflies, who take over people's bodies and give them super strength and such, and are trying to take over Earth, and the team has to destroy their food source. It has the same gory and humorous tone, and there’s a subplot of him coming to terms with his abusive Neo-Nazi dad’s terrible acts, oh oh, there’s a great lesbian character too.
Black Adam (2021)
Budget: $190-260 million
Box Office: $393.3 million
IMDb: 6.3/10
RT: C: 38% A: 88% (wow that is some disparity)
Dwayne Johnson was set to play the character in Shazam!, but he urged to give him his own movie. This movie was supposedly supposed to be “the movie that saved DC”. Honestly, feels like a movie just to have Dwayne Johnson attached to the franchise. It just ended up feeling like a cookie-cutter superhero (ahem, antihero) film.
Plot: Kahndaq was once ruled by a dictator, and a young boy received the powers of Shazam and killed the dictator. Present-day Kahndaq is oppressed by a gang, and Adrianna Tomaz is trying to locate the Crown of Sabbac, she finds it, but her colleagues are killed and she reads the incantation and Teth-Adam arrives and kills them all. Amanda Waller calls the Justice Society, consisting of Atom Smasher, Cyclone, Doctor Fate and Hawkman, to apprehend him.
Sidenote, I am so happy that Hawkman finally got a film adaptation. He is such an interesting character in the comics. They stop his killing spree and tell Adrianna that he is not a savior, but an imprisoned killer. Her son Amon hid the crown but they took him hostage. They give him the crown but he betrays her, and Adam gets mad and kills the leader and wounds Amon. Adam reveals to Hawkman that his son was the one who was given the powers but he gave his powers to him to save him and died. He surrenders because he felt unworthy and is imprisoned deep underwater by the JSA.
Ishmael comes back as Sabbac and tries to destroy the city. The JSA fail to stop him when Adam comes back and saves all of them.
Shazam! Fury Of The Gods (2023)
Plot: After the events of Shazam!, Hespera and Kalypso steal the wizard’s broken staff and force him to fix it. Freddy falls in love with a girl named Anne. Anne is apparently Anthea, and her sisters appear and take Freddy’s powers and he is imprisoned with the Wizard. The Shazam family fight them, but Hespera steals a Golden Apple, a seed for the Tree Of Life. Meanwhile, Anthea helps Freddy and the wizard escape. Hespera and Anthea want to revive their realm with it while Kalypso wants to destroy Earth with it. Kalypso steals the apple and plants it on Earth. Hespera is mortally wounded and Anthea loses her powers, and Shazam gets Hespera’s help to beat Kalypso and in the ensuing fight, Shazam dies and Wonder Woman brings him back to life. Also, for some reason, Wonder Woman appears in this movie and The Flash. I have no idea why. Maybe Gal Gadot had too much time on her hands.
The Flash (2023)
The chronological movie that reboots the DCEU and jumpstarts the DC Universe.
This movie, whoo. Attempts for a Flash movie date back to the 1980s, but let’s not start the story there.
DC had plans for a Flash movie when they created the DCEU, and in 2016, the movie was set to release in 2018.
I became a DC fan in 2018, after reading The Death Of Superman and watching the Zack Snyder movies, and later, a ton of Flash comics, so I have been following the release of this movie well before production began. The movie had been in development hell for a very long time, with so many directors being hired then leaving, until 2019, when Andy Muschietti and Christina Hodson signed on and Ezra Miller, the actor for The Flash finished filming TERF movie, and the movie was scheduled to release July 1st 2022 (I was very sceptical when that news came out, and turns out, I was right to be). The movie was set to adapt the Flashpoint storyline, where Barry goes back in time to prevent his mom’s death, resulting in an alternate timeline where Thomas Wayne is Batman while Bruce Wayne was gunned down, and the Atlanteans and Amazons are in a war that could destroy the Earth, Superman is imprisoned in a government facility, and Barry has no powers, and when Barry corrects the timeline, things have changed, and sets up the New 52, so this can transition into the rebooted DCU slate that James Gunn announced. The movie was again shifted to June 3, 2023, due to the pandemic. Michael Keaton was also hired to reprise his role from the 1989 and 1992 Batman movies, along with Ben Affleck.
Hehe, that’s hilarious
I thought chemistry tests meant like idk CSI stuff and Zoom as in Professor Zoom, Reverse-Flash, or, Zoom, the second Reverse-Flash. I still don’t know what chemistry tests mean, testing the chemistry between actors? I don't know why anyone needed to know that information.
Throughout 2022, a controversy much worse than the development hell it went through hit the movie.
Safe to say, Ezra Miller is a terrible person, but replacing them in the role was pretty much impossible, and the movie couldn’t be cancelled because it was so far ahead in production and had a massive budget. The movie did release, but marketing had to be limited due to this.
Plot: Barry Allen’s dad, Henry Allen is set to appeal for his wrongful imprisonment. He visits his childhood home, and overcome with emotions, he accidentally travels back in time a few hours. He tells Batman about it, and he tells Barry that changing things could have unintended consequences. But he ignores it, and prevents his mother’s death, and on the way back to the present, he is knocked out of the Speed Force by another speedster, arrives in 2013, where his mom is alive and his dad is not imprisoned. He encounters his past self, and realizes that he is currently in the day that Barry got his powers, so he rushes his past self to Central City PD so his past self gets his powers too. But, they both get struck by lightning and 2013-Barry gains powers while Barry loses his. Barry trains 2013-Barry to use his powers when they see a transmission by General Zod on a TV screen, and Barry tries to assemble the Justice League, only to find that Aquaman was never born, Wonder Woman can’t be located, Clark Kent doesn’t seem to exist, and Victor Stone is not Cyborg yet. They then travel to Wayne Manor, where they find an old Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) who retired from crime fighting because Gotham is now a safe place (yeah, right), and he explains to Barry that changing events also affect the past. They use the Batcomputer to locate the Kryptonian pod, which is revealed to have landed in Siberia. They go to the Siberian facility but find an emaciated girl instead, who they rescue, and who is revealed to be Kryptonian and she kills the Siberian soldiers. Then she refuses to help them as she thinks humanity is cruel. She then leaves to find Zod. Barry asks Bruce to help him regain his powers, and he tries twice but fails, but Kara returns, saying that Kryptonians are people of hope, not war, and flies Barry into a thundercloud, which succeeds in giving him his powers. They all go to fight Zod, and he reveals that Kara has the Codex, not Kal-El, and fights and kills her to retrieve the Codex, and Bruce sacrifices himself to unsuccessfully destroy a Kryptonian ship. The two Barrys travel back in time to save them but fail, and they try again but fail again, and Barry realizes that they can’t be saved while 2013-Barry keeps trying again and again, failing each time. The speedster who knocked him out of the Speed Force is revealed to be a future 2013-Barry, who kept trying for years and fights Barry, and 2013-Barry sacrifices himself to wipe the future version out of existence, and Barry goes back to prevent himself from preventing his mom’s death, but apparently, he learned absolutely nothing because he placed the can of tomatoes that his dad picked up on the day of his mother’s death on the top shelf, so the camera could capture his dad’s face, acquitting him. He calls Bruce Wayne to let him know of the good news, and he informs him that he is arriving at the courthouse. And he steps out of the car and we see… George Clooney, from the infamous 1997 Batman and Robin.
Okay, so that was a monstrous post :P. Idk why I did this it was probably hella boring. See ya!
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Assassinations
Hunter S. Thompson: SDF contract, introducing a crime problem to Japan.
Harvey Weinstein: Buddhist League contract, draft of Uma Thurman to the arts with surgery to remove Tibetan High Knights status.
Marisa Tomasic: Canondroga contract, removal of Non-Aligned Movement agent dealing in cheap labor through conjugal housing.
Jeffrey Langier: Midway Games contract, removal of control of internet from Gentiles and Asian-Americans, to Lutheran-German compounds.
Likud: MI-6 contract, counter of Mossad in debt to Britain, as opposing the rights of the Students Revolution of Iran.
Whitey Bulger: Netanyahu contract, as Arab agent of Lebanon.
9/11: LucasArts contract, stopping six planes, out of eleven, eleventh removed by "nil" hack, the film "The Matrix", with self as Cypher.
Berlin Wall: Irish-Catholic contract, removal of influence of Irish Republican Army, Lutherans, over slavery of Polish-Gentiles, for INTERPOL and Cold War Slovaks.
Teamsters Internationale: Jordanian contract, nullification of rich children exploiting writers, from seeming poverty, actually independent wealth in British housing, from labor unions feeding dole of Canada and United Kingdom and Australia; countermand of internet, in NSA command.
National Rifle Association: NSA contract, strip of Code Pink, Raelians, Middlesex County, and Suffolk Courts, of access to firearms, for rogue cop hunts of drug dealers, endowed to Canadian jazz swing culture of Jews.
Hard Candy: Star Trek contract, posture of self in pornography with cougar dominatrix, to confuse older hot women, with big beautiful women, to confuse Star Trek: The Next Generation fans, into arrests as "William Riker", if a hospital CEO, the politicians contract for building a new wing of a hospital, with a psychiatric mass sweep investment.
Arkham Games: FBI contract, game mechanics of Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, Arkham Knight, Arkham Origins, as game theory stolen from Kill Bill 1, as proper FBI procedure, given procedural state department law.
Havana Affair: CIA/USMC contract, as CIA and USMC armed against INTERPOL with foreign manuals, acting out of precinct, over drug law ritual violations, to induce Transvaal disorder, also known as Havana Syndrome.
That Hideous Strength: Narcotics Bureau MI-6, downfall of Elon Musk, as having seized NSA company data, Twitter, to track records of campus mental health, held in bond as foreign gangster, actually Israeli, through Anglican funeral homes.
Cyberpunk: PRCC contract, the communist Chinese, the print of Cyberpunk 2077, to poison any police working out of Poland anti-Boyar, the Bolshevists, for the Red Russian Army, by tricking into assassinating own trained informants.
GTA 3: Prudential Insurance contract, to blend video game mechanics, with applied gaming, to trap any in crime, also beholden to video game mechanics, someone playing Menonite dynamics, as a criminal, instead of using own academic intuition from schools, libraries, or social words of mouth.
Gotham: MetLife contract, teaching American marijuana dealer ethics, American insurance, the method of exchanged ignorance of fronted monetary benefit, mutually refused on revenge of suit if functional; otherwise, Jerome Valeska, gay haze, admission to insanity, or Jeremiah Valeska, theft of job, transgender disorder.
Nolan Trilogy: Comixology contract, independence of comic book contracting, the sales of FBI COIN, DC Comics, to Time Warner Cable, along with Comcast, AOL, and CNN, for American profit share, through popularity of Heath Ledger's role, to save his daughter, raised as a son.
Adolf Hitler: Disney contract, the printing of Max, through John Cusack, to kill Marvel Haganah writer and research man, John Washburne, cousin of Cusack, after Joan Cusack, sent Washburne, to Westen Massachusetts, over molestation of John Cusack's son; deployed in film "Max", shown to campus, to mimic Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, as ill-fated attorney of fiction, Dr. Gonzo, Oscar Zeta Acosta. "Arm ourselves, to the teeth".
Donald J. Trump: Persian Intelligence contract, hired by Dr. Golden, to inform the FBI, that israeli, MI-6, and ExSec, were taking over entire towns; Dr. Golden, as an IDF defector, in MI-6 secretly, and an FBI source, Dr. Isaiah Friedlander, featured as Sanchez in License to Kill, Snake Plissken in the Carpenter films, and Solid Snake in the Metal Gear games; an act of conscience.
Cuban Catholic: Vladimir Putin, the end of the House of Tudor, and slave farming numbers, through kidnapped naval sailors, from the worldwide merchant and military marine numbers, "Lady Carole"; the death of Queen Elizabeth II in chess, King Charles II's loss of his inheritence, Prince Andrew's vice charge, Prince Edwards' knighting of Andrew Lloyd Weber as King of the Jews, Prince William and Prince Harry's switch between serial killer and mental illness; the takover of the royal family, by own device, Scientology (a refusal of cop charges, in favor of lawyer's term of device, but through police arbiter).
Colbert Report: MKULTRA, the trifecta triple bolo of lawyer/cop/economist, through accusation of gay beaches (Taliban), field hockey bets (Ba'ath), and South Park (Likud), as a British combine, recruiting US Navy quartermaster rations (M3) and North Korean lawyer for Saddam's trial (NYPD) for Colbert Report, "Truthiness", the brainwashing of Barack Obama, to pose as John McCain in public during 2008 election, earning the Nobel Prize.
Bickford Schmeckler: Campus Communist Union, the theft of IRA special education records, for sales to small businesses, for purchase of land by corporate combines, by frame of small business families, as sex offenders (Massachusetts special education students).
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