#normie twice removed

[ageless-aislynn]

Okay, so Eleven Labs AI voices are SCARY ACCURATE, so that, along with using the music and background sounds and dialogue, make this sound like a real and really demented version of The Pillar of Autumn in Halo: CE.

These AI voices have so much emotion and delivery to the lines. Like at 2:20, listen to how Cortana’s “What is it? Sure, whatever” tone is perfectly I have given up in dealing with this overgrown manchild right now. Just... equal parts scary and amazing, IMO.

The real world implications on how well both audio and video can be deepfaked is a discussion for a whole other time. 😳😬 But for now, please enjoy this authentic-sounding AU episode of “Chief Needs His Airpods.” 👀😉

[ornii]

Bitterly Beautiful, Part 3

Part 3: “Do You See what I see?”

"Let's assess this situation, shall we? There's Bag over my head for, whatever reason. My wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no idea if I'm going to live or die. Wednesday is probably upset I somehow didn't see this coming, as Corny as that was."

(Y/n) and Wednesday sit side by side in chairs, bound by rope and Bagged. Their bags are removed. They're still within the library, surrounded by masked and cloaked individuals.

"Hmmm, what's the best response, a cry for help? A plead for a deal? Perhaps I'll yell at them to let us go, oh! I have it!" He thinks and spoke up.

"Just a word of advice before you guys do another kidnapping, it's pretty offensive to put a bag over the head of a guy who can't see to begin with. Be better." He says, and one of the members steps up.

"Who dares breach our inner sanctum?" They say.

"You can take the mask off, Bianca." Wednesday said, and Bianca removes her mask.

"Ah, I knew that voice had a distinct bitchy tone."

"And just like that, my hopes were dashed against the rocks of bitter disappointment. My foe was no psychotic killer. More like a bunch of high school clowns." Wednesday thought. "Wait, I preferred you with it on."

"How did you get down here?"

"I tracked the watermark to the Poe statue." Wednesday said.

"Then I solved the riddle to get in here." (Y/n) chimes in.

"Wait, there's a riddle? I thought we just snapped twice." One member asks.

"Wow, this is probably the least threatening group of Kidnappers i have ever seen, it's not many I've seen but still."

"Well, aren't you the brightest in the bunch?"

"The Nightshades are an elite social club." Bianca said, and Xavier steps up, revealing he himself is also one with Ajax and others. "Emphasis on elite."

"We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip."

"And Yoko's an amateur mixologist. She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild."

"Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?" Wednesday said. "Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded."

"Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died." Xavier adds in.

"But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves." Yoko said.

"Someone like Rowan?" Wednesday asked.

"We booted that loser last semester. Question is, what are we gonna do with them? Only members are allowed in this library." One asks, and Xavier steps up next to them.

"I say we invite them to pledge. They're both legacies, Especially (Y/n), son of King Buarainech, the last leader of the Fomorians."

"After the crap they pulled in the Poe Cup, there's no way in hell. We talk about not making waves? She's a tsunami and he's just a thunderstorm brewing."

"Just because I beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble. I'm not interested in joining." Wednesday said.

"You're seriously turning us down?" One asks.

"Can you believe it?" Wednesday responds coldly.

"Untie her."

"I freed myself five minutes ago." Wednesday stands up, showing her untied rope.

"It's amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name. Anyway when you're done with toying with the Bootleg Secret Society (Y/n), I'll be waiting." Wednesday left, they stood there, looking a bit dumb, only the silence to be halted off by laughing. (Y/n)'s subsequently.

"That girl.. she's a force of nature.." he says smiling, he sighs eventually and cracks his neck.

"As much as I'd enjoy the parties and Skinny dipping, I'd rather do that by myself than a bunch of rich elitism bearing assholes, so...Go dtuga gaotha Sídhe saor m'anam."

A gust hits his bindings and unties him, he stands up and dusts himself off. He heads upstairs, leaving the elite looking even more dumbfounded.

"There were so many threads to my investigation, I could weave a burial shroud. I still have no idea how Rowan mysteriously rose from the dead. Or why that monster is prowling the woods. But right now, nothing intrigues me more than this book. If I'm going to be responsible for Nevermore's demise, the question is, why am I sharing this apocalypse with a pilgrim?"

The Next Morning Rose Like an undead zombie , early and still. Students stand in the courtyard to gather for what Principal Weems has to say, (Y/n) arrives as Enid drags him along out of bed.

"All students will report for their volunteer jobs at 10:00 a.m. sharp, followed by a community lunch at 1:00. As you know, this year Outreach Day culminates in a very special event, the dedication of a new memorial statue in the town square, which will also include performances by Nevermore students." She begins, while (Y/n) and Enid catch up.

"So, what's the deets between you and Wednesday?" She asks, her interest in his relationships was, off putting a bit.

"I.. haven't a faintest clue what you mean." He says acting dumb

"You can't play dumb, your best asset is that you're insanely Smart and like, Super Hot. Like a tragic poet. But seriously everyone sees you prowling around with her." Enid says, and has a hint of jealousy in her voice. "We haven't been spending as much time together." She says and he lets out a soft sigh.

"I know, sorry about that, I'm just showing her the ropes and, admittedly she isn't as bad as i thought she would have been. She can be absolutely terrifying but I mean who can't? You can be pretty scary when the Kittys claws come out." He says, which is reassuring to Enid.

"Well, at least I know I'm not losing my Bestie." She says warmly and takes his hand. Wednesday tilts her attention towards it, watching.

"Of course not, we can hang out after Outreach day. I'll smooth everything over with Ajax for you too, he's not as, cloud minded as i thought." He says, they're approached by another school member and handed Pamphlets, Enid opens hers and squeaks a bit.

"Yes! Yes! I got Pilgrim World. I have natural people skills and a love of performing, so it's kind of the obvi choice." She says, he hands her his and she checks it. "You got it too! This is perfect! All we need is Wednesday—"

As if speaking the Devils name and she appears, Wednesday approaches them as she’s watching their very... friendly, interaction.

"Wednesday, What'd you get?" Enid asks.

"Uriah's Heap, whatever that is." She replies.

"Ew. It's this weird, creepy antique store." Enid explains, (Y/n) taps his cane on the ground.

"It actually had some pretty neat stuff, it's where I got my cane, You'll love it though." He said, they're shuttled to Jericho, they depart off the bus and to their respective locations, but Wednesday approaches Enid with an offer.

"Enid. Switch volunteer assignments."

"What? No. Uriah's Heap is definitely not my bag."

"It's an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World." Wednesday says, and Enid frowns at her.

"You know you can go a day without (Y/n), it's toxic to get so dependent on someone." Enid says, trying to help Wednesday, who was actually a bit stunned by that. Her jaw locks and she stiffens up a bit, keeping her emotions in check but internally boiling at the thought of her and (Y/n), Together? Perhaps it's anger, Perhaps it's embarrassment, perhaps it's wanting. Wednesday, as usual, shoves her emotions down deep and calms herself.

"(Y/n) and I work a professional relationship to investigate something, nothing more. Nothing less." Wednesday said through her gritting teeth. Enid just sighs.

"Denial is the first Symptom, of Love Struck-itis." Enid says, much to the annoyance of Wednesday

"Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?" She said, and Wednesday offers her a very enticing offer.

"Because Ajax is volunteering there. Thing sneaked a peek at his assignment. But if you're not interested..."

"No! Oh my God, thank you. You're the best!" Enid takes it and runs off, Wednesday heads to pilgrim World with an awaiting (Y/n) he turns to Wednesday, sending the dread approaching.

"Hey, want to take a Pilgrim group photo?" He Says Smiling, which Wednesday just stares daggers at him.

"Guess not." He says shrugging. They're interrupted by a woman dressed as such a pilgrim.

"Good morrow, my young Nevermore kin. I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC..." she begins, which confuses most. "Original colonist. Now prithee, put your cell phones on vibrate and make haste, for you are about to travel back in time to the year of our Lord 1625, to Jericho's first pilgrim settlement. Yonder. Behold, the meeting house. Inside is a collection of artifacts related to Jericho's most beloved and pious founder, Joseph Crackstone. And beyond is our privy, America's first gender-neutral restroom."

"I haveth a query." Wednesday chirps up from the ground, standing by the wayside with (Y/n), who feigned interest.

"Pray, be quick, child." She replies.

"In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?"

"It is truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot."

"Riveting" (Y/n) said sarcastically.

"I volunteer to work in there." Wednesday says.

"Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated. Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World." She says and Leads them to a building, with a sign (Y/n) looks up towards.

"...So, what does it say?" He asks Wednesday.

"I'm not your personal eyes." She says with her cold classic demeanor.

"Please?" He asks, turning up his cuteness, which just makes Wednesday want to vomit. She scoffs.

"Only to make you stop making those faces, it says "Ye Olde Fudgery"..More like ye olde diabetes in a box."

"Volunteers, prick up thine ears. Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community. And samples equal sales, so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud." The woman hands the two uniforms of that of ancient pilgrims. The two look at them and take them, reluctantly the two dress as pilgrims and prepare to serve the people, Wednesday, being as creepy as she usually is, prepares blocks of fudge and speaks in fluent German.

"Enjoy your "authentic" pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon. All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history. Also, fudge wasn't invented for another 258 years. Any takers?" She says offering to the German tourists, who do not take it, she takes this opportunity to walk off, and find her partner in crime, which (Y/n) was using a knife to, with scary precision, cut blocks of Fudge into tiny squares, he halts as he sensed Wednesday. Her lack of Heartbeat and Cold aura was easily detectable.

"So, enjoying Tormenting Tourists?" He said and jams the knife into the table, she stands there.

"Come with me, there is something we need to investigate."

"Hm, I thought you were flying solo." He said, "You know, no friends and that." He said and Wednesday looks at him, no hesitation in her eyes.

"As Annoying, egotistical, overbearing and as much of a nuisance as you are, you're valuable to the investigation." She says, he smiles and walks over to her, and with no fear in his heart, pats her head, which causes her to scowl at him.

"Thanks Shortie... okay, lead away." He says, they sneak away as (Y/n) follows.

"So, besides you hating everything about me, why do you tag me along?"

"You remind me of my brother, sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment. Now follow me. I need to know more about this Crackstone. We have a meeting house to break into." she says and they get to a door, Wednesday, using a hairpin picks the lock and the door opens, they slowly open it and peer inside, they step in and close themselves in to investigate the old museum, which has glass displays of items back from that time, even a statue of Crackstone.

"My grandmother once told me secrets are like zombies... they never truly die. I'm not sure what secret Crackstone is hiding, but I have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past." Wednesday says, the two look around, his hands slide across something, it's indented, he can make out words.

"The Old Meeting House, 1625. Wednesday.." he says, she walks over to see it.

"(Y/n), this is the girl I've seen . She's even holding the same book. That black one she had outside Crackstone's crypt." Wednesday says, they turn around and (Y/n) turns around to a display case. Wednesday peers into it.

"This is the book! Codex Umbrarum. That's Latin for "Book of Shadows." She says, she opens the case and picks it up, flipping through it, which the pages are blank.

"They're Blank, the pages."

"Hm.. sounds like my kind of book." (Y/n) said.

"It's a fake. I don't know who Etsy is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler." Wednesday said, (Y/n) folds his arms.

"Cheap Props then, where the real one?" He asks, before the door bursts open.

"Just what the fudge are you two doing in here?" She said, glaring at the two.

"Mistress Arlene. How now?" Wednesday said.

"How now, indeed. I proclaimed the meeting house is under repair. I know thoust heard me."

"mistress, We're simply dying to learn more about Crackstone." (Y/n) says trying to Wesel his way out of it,

"Yes, and this display case was already open."

"That book's a replica."

"You don't say." Wednesday said sarcastically.

"The original was stolen last month during the two o'clock witch trial."

"It was probably the only authentic thing you have in here, yet you still charge $29.95 a ticket?"

"Hold thy tongue. I'm reassigning you both. To fudge-churning duty." She said to them, (Y/n) shrugs.

"Fine."

"The original meeting house, the one in that painting, where is it?" Wednesday asks, and the Mistress finally drops her Gimmick.

"How the hell should I know? I only moved here from Scottsdale in April." She says, and sends them off to churning, which they easily escape from as well, changing attire, the two head off to the cafe.

"So, were leaving again?"

"I deserted it while my sanity was still intact." Wednesday said, "Okay, then what are we here for?" He asks.

"I'm actually here for Tyler."

"Tyler? You mean the Normie working there, why talk to him?" He asks, and Wednesday cuts him down.

"Who I speak to is my business." she says; they stop at the door and (Y/n) just scoffs, "Fine, do what you need to do then, I'll be waiting." He says, "Outside." He sits at a bench, not wanting to go in. Wednesday enters to find Tyler and Xavier.

"Want the usual?" Tyler asks approaching.

"And some help. You know the original pilgrim meeting house, the one from the 1600s? You know if it's still around?" Wednesday pulls out a map of Jericho and places it upon a table.

"What's left is out in Cobham Woods, but it's pretty much a ruin."

"Show me." She said, and he put his finger on the map.

"Uh... There, but, look, it's kind of sketchy. Squatters and meth heads use that place as a crash pad. My dad has it cleared out every couple weeks. What's this about?"

"Nothing."

"You're becoming obsessed with this monster in the woods thing."

"Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands? Thank you for the help."

"Hey, listen, the ruins are kind of tricky to find. I could take you this afternoon. My shift ends at 2:00." Tyler ask, Wednesday does consider it, "Principal Weems would hang, draw and quarter me if I miss the big statue dedication. And as enticing as that sounds, I'd prefer to keep a low profile. Besides, I know my way around the great outdoors."

"Don't tell me you were a Girl Scout."

"I could eat Girl Scouts for breakfast. I have an uncle who went to prison for that." She says before leaving, she exits the Cafe where (Y/n) continues to sit, listening to the wind rolls along the sky. He feels someone stand in front of him, but he ignores her.

"Ready?"

"..." he began to ignore Thrace raven haired girl.

"You haven't gone deaf as well? You'd be useless at that point."

"No, I have not." He replies, Wednesday frowns slightly.

"You’d do your best to Cheer up, your smile is your only appeasing feature." She says, he scoffs at it but laughs.

"God aren't you just the charmer." He says before standing up.

"Okay, where to Short stuff." He asks, and (Y/n) and Wednesday leave, trudging through the forest, their journey comes to An end, finally entering a rundown burned down, building. Thing exits Wednesday backpack to assist searching.

"So, how do you know that you're going to destroy Nevermore exactly?" (Y/n) asks.

"A vision I had, from what I understand my, mother had them as well." Wednesday explains, but the two find nothing.

"Hm, empty..." he says.

"I was expecting more too."

Who "you talking to, little girl?" A man says. The two turn around to an obviously homeless man, long beard and disheveled look.

"Use "little" and "girl" to address me again and I can't guarantee your safety."

"This is my place. Get out!" The man yells, Wednesday turns left to (Y/n), "(Y/n), a hand here?" She says he sighs and walks over and picks up a leaf, he crushes the leaves into a dust.

"Go dtuga Do Bhrionglóidí Oíche Uafásach Ifrinn ar ceal." He says calmly and blows them in the man's face, he tries to swat it away, before all he sees is Fire, his arms; legs, hair all ablaze, he screams and runs out of the place. But to Wednesday, (Y/n) simply blew clumps of crushed leaves into his face and he ran away.

"What did you just do?" She asks.

"I put a hex on him, making him believe he's on fire. Good thing about being a Fomorian is you learn how to curse people at a young age."

"Curses? Hexes? You must Teach me that."

"I'm not teaching you how to curse people, if I did you'd just curse anyone that's a minor inconvenience to you to death." He says, "Anyway. Can't you just touch something and a vision occurs?"

"No, I can't just touch something. My visions seem to happen spontaneously." Wednesday says.

"Okay... why not ask your Mom? If she had visions before." (Y/n) says, and Thing agrees:

"I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice."

"Sounds like you just don't want to try." He says, which raises the ire of Miss Addams.

"Oh, you want me to prove it to you?" She says and begins to touch things.

"No. Nothing. Ah, I bet this will give us some real insight." She holds up a Taco Bell bag and shakes it at (Y/n) who folds his arms.

"Well jokes on you, i can't read that anyway." He says smugly, Wednesdays scoffs at him and walks back to the gate.

"My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks." She says and touches the door; her body looks like it was struck by lightning, she stiffens like a corpse in Rigor Mortis. (Y/n) quickly rushes to her before she falls on the ground; and he holds her, like the Corpse of a Bride.

"Wednesday? Wednesday can you hear me? Thing! What's happening?!" He yells; Thing makes motions but (Y/n) shakes his head.

"I know I know!" He yells; and a storm begins to brew.

"We gotta get out of here, I hope you're okay Wednesday." He says as he walks with her in his arms, her vision was much more vivid; this time she was in a completely different place, watching a mob of pilgrims surround a woman.

"Burn her! Burn her!"

"Devil spawn! Devil spawn!"

"Beast! Witch! Repent! Begone! Witch!"

"Stand aside!" A voice bellows through the crowd, adorned with fire and pitchforks, they split like the Red Sea to the founding father, Joseph Crackstone.

"Goody Addams! You have been judged before God and found guilty. You are a witch, a sorceress, Lucifer's mistress herself. For your sins, you will burn this night, and suffer the flames of eternal hellfire." He says, and they cheer, Goody looks at him. As her resemblance to Wednesday was uncanny; besides the blonde hair, she was picture perfect.

"I am innocent. It is you, Joseph Crackstone, that should be tried. We were here before you, living in harmony with nature and the native folk. But you have stolen our land. You have slaughtered the innocent. You have robbed us of our peaceful spirit. You are the true monster. All of you!" she yells, and he laughs at her falsehoods.

"You are abominations in the Devil's grip! I will not stop till I have expunged this New World of every outcast. Godless creatures! Set it ablaze!" He yells, they drag Goody to a building and toss her inside and locks her within. Wednesday follows and sees Goody look around, and she sees someone, a man who looks eerily similar to (Y/n) she rushes to his side.

"Cianán! Cianán!" She says, his weary head looks up, but it was obvious from the dark rings around his eyes, something happened. She grasps his wrists.

"There's no time, my Love. Leave me. Save yourself. He's chained us all to the floor." He says, Goody sees the bindings upon his wrist. "Crackstone, he laid black tar upon my eyes, I cannot see any more." His heartbroken Irish accent whispered sadness into her ears.

"I shan't leave without you." Goody grasps him, holding him so desperately. Her hands raise and gently grasp the sides of his chin. Tears flow solemnly down her cheeks.

"I shall only be a burden, Please. My Sweet Goody, Run. Run as fast as you can. You are our only hope." He said, his hands rose and gently took her wrists, She leaned into his face and laid her lips upon his, a long kiss of farewells, he whispers gently into her ears.

"I mBás, beidh grá agam duit i gcónaí" 

And Goody leaves, escaping as flames dance along the building. Even now she's longing for the embrace of her love, Wednesday watches their kiss and departure, but smoke begins to fill her lungs, and she finds herself surrounded in the dark, mist swoons the ground and Goody runs up to her:

"He won't stop until he's killed us all! He's here." She runs, and Wednesday turns around to Crackstone staring her down.

"There will be no escape for you!" He yells and trips her up, she falls back and awakens from her vision, she lies on the ground, wet. She sits up to see herself not within the broken down building, but a small bear cave and a lit fire next to her body to attempt to warm her up, it was (Y/n) who was also wet.

"Back?" He asks, Wednesday stood up and looked around.

"Rainfall, had to drag my Corpse Bride to safely... that's you." He said, "Thing helped." He adds in, thing is sitting next to (Y/n) on the back of his palm. He can feel the slight shiver on her body and he tosses another piece of wood into the flames.

"You're shivering, Cmon sit." He says and Wednesday opens her mouth to speak.

"Look, before you say anything, just shut up and let me help you. It's not wrong to ask people for help, and if you think I'm somehow a threat then you're probably as blind as I am." He says, Wednesday stares at him, but then slowly obliges and sits next to him, warming herself in the flames.

"So, saw anything in your Vision?" He asks.

"The girl from my visions. Her name is Goody Addams, and I believe she's my ancestor from 400 years ago." she explains, the rain pours, but Wednesdays focus was on the shadow that rushes past the entrance. Wednesday gives chase and (Y/n) stands up.

"W-Wednesday? Wednesday!" He yells, he runs after her, barely able to keep up. He finally reaches her as she's kneeling down.

"What are you looking at?" He says. And She stands up and turns to him.

"The monster is human. Its tracks turned from monster prints to human ones." She explains, (Y/n) kneels down and feels only water.

"Hm.. that's just water to me. I can't smell anything the waters washed the scent away... your visions, When did they start?"

"About a year ago. When they happen, it feels like I'm touching live wire. I usually enjoy that sensation."

"Yeah, but you can't control it and that freaks you out, doesn't it?" He says, "What could you possibly know about me?" Wednesday said.

"You like to be in control of everything, your life, your feelings, so when something comes in that changes it, you push it away, out of the fear of something you can't control. You're a force of nature... it's terrifying and, at the same time, I can't keep my.. heh, eyes off of it." He says, tuning his attention to Wednesday, there was silence between them, a slight bloom of emotion came from Wednesday, but she quickly buried those feelings.

"Anyway, your visions seem, erratic, I don't think we can trust them."

"I saw Joseph Crackstone in front of me as clearly as I'm seeing you now. He gathered all the outcasts in the meeting house and burned them alive."

"It was 400 years ago, what does that have to do with you?"

"Rowan's drawing. Crackstone was standing in the quad."

" it sounds like You're creating a story in your head and using visions to back it up. They're telling you what you want to see.

"Are you mansplaining my power?"

"Is me saving you from a creepy old man "Man-Saving" or is that just me doing my job? All I'm saying is that you can't rely on things you can't always be sure of." He said.

"I believe Rowan was right. Something bad is going to happen, and I need to stop it. Starting with that monster. Whoever it is."

Wednesday and (Y/n) finally reach Nevermore and Wednesday poses a question.

"You Speak Gaelic." She says.

"Gaelic Irish, Yes."

"When I was having my vision, someone said something I want you to Translate: "I mBás, beidh grá agam duit i gcónaí" Wednesday Said, relaying the words Goodys lover one said to her, (Y/n) takes these words and seemingly processes them in his head, his hard ass demeanor slowly fades.

"If my translation is correct, and it usually is... the person said. "In Death, I will love you always." He says, meaning the final words Cianán said to his lover Goody, is that even in his death he will love her in the after life. Wednesday begins to consider things much, drastically. Could history be repeating itself? And could the Man talking to her end up dying for her? For his Love? Will She end up falling for him and watching him suffer a miserable death all the same?

"Hello? Earth to Wednesday?" He asks, she finally looks at him and he asks again.

"Who said it? The message." He asks, and Wednesday kept her deadpan expression.

"I don't know, I couldn't make out their face." She replies, (Y/n) shrugs and decides to trust he, as scary as that was, the end of the is slowly rolling in and students arrive at the heart of Jericho for the celebration, stufende gather and specifically for the music presentation. (Y/n) and Wednesday walk together towards the gather.

"I thought nothing scared me, but that was before I stared into the eyes of Joseph Crackstone. I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain, but I've never faced an adversary cast in bronze"

(Y/n) sits down, and Enid scoots over to be next to him, he smiles and they watch and or listen to the Mayor as he stands before a podium, a statue and outdoor fountain combination, made of striking bronze.

"Thank you. It is my honor to celebrate our town's history and Jericho's noble forefather, Joseph Crackstone. Now, he believed that with a happy heart and an open ear, there was nothing our town couldn't achieve. So together as one, our community and our friends at Nevermore Academy, we've built a monument to celebrate his memory. Now, may the spirit of Joseph Crackstone be memorialized for eternity." The Mayor Says, and the class begins to do a rendition of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac, A Water Like liquid begins move within it, splitting out like said fountain. (Y/n)'s nose crinkles up.

"Enid..do you smell that?"

"No, is it my breath?" She asks panicked, "I was really close to Ajax and I hope it didn't—"

"No, you're fine, it's odd it smells like—"

Before his nose could discover the origin of the scent, a flash of burning heat washed over him like a fuming blanket. He couldn't make it out perfectly but he could easily tell that the statue was burning. Students ran, teachers and adults struggled to understand what was going on. What cut though most of the screaming was music, (Y/n) tried to understand where it was coming from, and he eventually did as the harrowing strings of Vivaldi's "Winter" bellows from the side, he can only imagine that's it's coming from one person. Wednesday Addams, and it all slowly began to piece together who was behind this, while it couldn't be proven. (Y/n) wasn't the only person to figure this all out. Weems, who dragged Wednesday into her office was more than upset, she was enthralled with rage.

"That was a disaster. The mayor is furious! I've lost count of the angry phone calls, emails, and people in the town, alumni and parents. They want answers and so do I."

"I would lead the inquisition, but I left my thumbscrews and rack at home."

"Miss Addams... you're already on thin ice. Wafer-thin ice. I swear on my late scorpion's soul, my hands are clean." she said, which is only partly true. As the only "Hand" involved was Thing.

"I may not have hard evidence, but I see you. You're a trouble magnet." Weems glares at the child, who stands up, literally for herself.

LIf trouble means standing up to lies, decades of discrimination, centuries of treating outcasts like second-class citizens or worse..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jericho. Why does this town even have an Outreach Day? Don't you know its real history with outcasts? The actual story of Joseph Crackstone?" Wednesdays asks, and Weems frowns, admittedly nodding.

"I do. To an extent."

"Then why be complicit in its cover up? Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

"That's where you and I differ. Where you see doom, I see opportunity. Maybe this is a chance to rewrite the wrongs, to start a new chapter in the normie-outcast relations."

"Nothing has changed since Crackstone. They still hate us. Only now they sugarcoat it with platitudes and smiles. If you're unwilling to fight for truth—"

"You don't think I want the truth? Of course I do. But the world isn't always black and white. There are shades of gray. Maybe for you.

"But it's either they write our story or we do. You can't have it both ways."

"...You're exhausting." Weems sighs, but Wednesday hasn't moved an inch.

"I know."

"..Goodnight, Miss Addams. But you should know... I don't tire easily." Weems says, before Wednesday is excused back to her room. Wednesday types on her vintage Typewriter, as on the other side of the room Enid was trying on clothes, as (Y/n) was sitting on her bed, helping her choose. Enid shows different styles one of a pot heirs of colors.

"Too much?" She asks.

"So glad I have my date with Ajax tonight. Get my mind off that trainwreck of an afternoon. I literally think I have PTSD. I didn't even get to do my dance routine."

"Wow, What a tragedy." (Y/n) says.

"What kind of twisted psycho would want to sabotage such a life-affirming event?" Enid asks, (Y/n) slyly smirks and shrugs.

"You're going to be late." (y/n) says as she gets dressed, Enid gives him a reassuring hug.

"Wish me luck."

"If he breaks your heart I'll curse him and his family for all eternity." He says and Enid leaves, (Y/n) and Wednesday are alone together. He lets out a sigh and turns to face her.

"So, gonna Just act like you didn't Blow the statue up?" He says as he approaches her, she continues to type. "Weems was pretty ticked off, angriest I've seen her in a while. So I have to ask, why?" He says. Wednesday continues to type, not paying attention to him.

"To Send a message, I don't believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings, but most of all... I don't believe in coincidences. To paraphrase Agatha Christie, one coincidence is just a coincidence, two are a clue....and three are proof. Rowan's drawing of me and Crackstone happens sometime in the future. Goody Addams' warnings about Crackstone were in the past. And the monster is here in the present. Three coincidences that I know are connected. That monster could be anyone. The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school. The truth is, there are monsters everywhere. And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous. They don't need teeth and claws to terrify. They hide in the shadows until no one is looking. And then they strike. But I'm looking now. And I won't stop until I find the truth." She says euch such intensity, she truly believes in herself and her words, and (Y/n) feels, confidence in that.

“I mean I get that you want to figure this all out, but you have to be more careful. And try and play nice with others.” He said.

"And if I don't?" Wednesday said, still working and tapping.

"Then I'll be forced to... Hmm. punish you." He said, and he could hear Wednesday scoff dryly.

"What could a blind warlock possible do to—" she says, before Wednesdays face freezes up like ice, her entire body stuff, and she just stares forward. She felt the warm arms and body of (Y/n) as he snuck up behind her for a soft hug. Wednesday had never been hugged, her intimidation was more than enough to keep most people away, but then again, (Y/n) really isn't "Most People".

“See? I know your weakness, Human interaction.” he laughed for a moment, before he can even say her name; Wednesday had him pinned down on the ground, full Mount with a pair of sharp pointed scissors aimed at him, she gripped them hard, and with her other hand she tightly grasped his shirt. Despite her petite form and body she was surprisingly well built and versatile.

"Tell me why, I shouldn't kill you.. Right now." Wednesday voice had no emotion, cold and for most to hear would be absolutely terrifying. But (Y/n) just laughed a bit, his focus was on her, even if he couldn't see.

"I told you I could get you, you know when we got captured by that Society, I told them that you.. Wednesday are a force of nature, and.. it's amazing. You're amazing.." He says, which somehow cools her boiling rage and for the first time in her life Wednesday Addams, is embarrassed; and the tiniest hint of red was on her pale skin, she stands up, getting off of him and tosses her scissors down near his neck.

"Leave, Now." She says, she turns around and he just stands up, Chuckling.

"Okay, okay, sorry for upsetting you... I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks. Hopeful.

"....I'll consider it." She replies and he smiles a bit wider.

"Well..be seeing you, Miss Addams." He said as he leaves the room, letting Wednesday have a shaky sigh. She looks at her hands, and clenches them, wondering one thing.

"What is this.. odd feeling in her heart?"

[oozepop]

I received a second strike on my YouTube channel while live streaming.

This one is actually upsetting. I was streaming on YouTube on the night of 12/18/22 (which was a good day, as it was my mom's birthday, as well as my good friend Jom. Also, it was creeping into midnight, so I might be wrong on the exact date, but who cares). I started the night with Dark and Darker with some friends, moved on to Dead by Daylight, and proceeded to end the night with Elden Ring. Germbubble, a chatter and good friend of mine, always posts stuff in chat for me to react to. This time, he sent me a recent OJ Simpson interview. I had the video in the corner while I played Elden Ring, which was taking up the majority of my screen.

I received a flurry of emails pertaining to my YouTube channel, insinuating YouTube is looking right at me within this very short amount of time, including reviewing an appeal (spoiler alert). The first email [from the bottom] is informing me that my stream from earlier in the week was copyright claimed. This is not a strike, but rather YouTube blocking some (or all) of my stream. Very easy action that doesn't harm my channel in anyway. The second email is informing me of the same thing on a different live stream, I believe the one from the morning of 12/18/22 (yes, I stream often and need to touch grass).

The third email is where it gets interesting.

Here, they inform me that my stream is interrupted. This has happened to me before, when I watched a clip of a movie a different chatter, omegabuttwish, sent me, although this first time, it did not result in a strike (spoiler alert). When I stopped watching the clip, my stream went back to normal, albeit some minutes later (the first time, I mean). This time, when I stopped watching the clip after this email, my stream was only returned to normal... briefly.

So, I 'm not exactly sure if I'm interpreting this correctly, but did I get a strike because I had OJ on my screen, and I didn't remove it as soon as I saw this email? Because for a very good amount of time, my stream titled "Elden Ring" was about Elden Ring. This just seems absurdly unfair to me, but I am just but a punished normie. So, I 'm not exactly sure if I'm interpreting this correctly, but did I get a strike because I had OJ on my screen, and I didn't remove it as soon as I saw this email? Because for a very good amount of time, my stream titled "Elden Ring" was about Elden Ring. This just seems absurdly unfair to me, but I am just but a punished normie.

The last email shows that they reviewed my appeal in less than an hour after my strike, and determined that I did, in fact, violate their policy. I guess I should just take this for what it is and do my best going forward. I feel like it's all just so vague and I can't tell when what I'm doing will result in a strike, since sometimes my loose behavior is allowed, and sometimes it's not.

What I think I will do going forward is be very safe. I will record and edit videos in the meantime that will not be uploaded until my first strike disappears on January 24th. From that point on, I will only upload until my second strike disappears on March 19th. I suppose it's possible I stream on YouTube before that date, but if so, it'll be very specific streams with a very specific goal in mind, to ensure I do not get in trouble for some dumb bullshit. I can always just stream on twitter until then, which is kinda weird, but I guess I'll do it.

I'm honestly just upset and discouraged. I can't tell if I just have a dedicated hater, or if I'm an absolute idiot to streaming. Maybe a break is exactly what I need so I can finally focus on my physical and mental health. I want to read more books, write more music, and be more productive with my time. I don't want to stream twice a day anymore to a small audience. My videos get better views anyway. Streaming should be fun, and unless I have a dedicated audience, which I don't anymore, it's not as fun as it used to be. Gaming with friends is fun, and making an audience laugh is fun. If I can build up a new audience, then I would be happy to give them awesome content. For now, I will take it easy and see if I can't make better friends and healthier connections.

Follow me on twitter.com/oozePOPtv for pointless blurbs and possible future streaming.

[darkphoenixlady]

Queen Buffy - Episode 1 - part 2

Episode 1 – part 2

Buffy walks into Magic Box after dark, her head still swimming with all of the information she learnt from the doctor. As she draws level with the step down to the rest of the shop, Dawn stands up and embraces her in a hug.

Holding onto Dawn tightly, Buffy buries her nose into Dawns hair and takes comfort from the hug. After a moment, Dawn pulls back, “Is she awake yet?”

Buffy nods sadly, “She is, and she’s waiting for us.”

Dawn smiles, “Can we take her home then?”

Buffy opens her mouth to give Dawn a platitude, but changes her mind, “Probably not. They’re going to keep her in for a few days so they can remove the bad stuff from her head. If it’s longer than that, they’ll probably let her go home.”

Dawn looks at Buffy as though she’s betrayed her, “Why Buffy, why?”

Buffy’s shoulders sag, “There’s no good way to say this Dawn, but it’s cancer. If they don’t get it out as soon as they can, it could kill her before they can. Come on, grab your stuff.”

Woodenly, Dawn turns back to the table to start packing. At the same time, Buffy goes over to the counter where Giles and Willow are standing, “Hey guys, any news on big and snakey?”

Willow shakes her head, “Tara and I did a mini patrol, but biggie snake was nowhere to…”

Willow is cut off as the massive serpent crashes through the window of the shop and slithers towards Dawn. As it does so, it knocks a heavy hardwood bookcase over onto Buffy, knocking her over and spilling the contents around her.

As Dawn screams, and Buffy tries to get the leverage needed to free herself, the snake moves right up to Dawn before its tongue flicks out twice and tastes the air. As soon as it’s done that, it turns and flees out the way it came in.

It only takes Buffy a couple more seconds to heave the shelving off of her. During this time, Xander comes up from behind Dawn, “Dawn, are you ok?”

As Willow stands up from behind the counter, she asks, “Why was the big snake afraid of Dawn.”

At the same time, Giles hurries over to help Buffy, even though she’s standing up already. As he gets close enough, Buffy breaths, “It knows.” Before looking at Dawn.

As Giles turns back to look at Dawn, Buffy sprints for the entrance, shortly followed by Giles.

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

 As she gets outside the shop, Buffy pauses to search the street in front of her and locate the snake while her eyes adjust to the lowered light levels. As she catches sight of it slithering past some scared normies, she blinks her eyes at the slight reddish yellow glow they’re giving off.

That’s just enough time for the snake to dodge around an oncoming car, and around a corner.

Buffy sets off at a run, swiftly following it around the corner, and then down the back road behind a row of shops. It’s less than a minute later when the sound of Giles car comes up from behind her, and she hops in so that she can keep an eye out rather than trying to both keep up and track it.

Just after she hops in, the monster grabs a dumpster with its tail, and uses it as a pivot point to turn a corner faster than it should be able to. At the same time, the dumpster moves out into the center of the back road, and into Giles’ path. Dodging around the dumpster, Giles is unable to slow down enough to make the turn, and ends up plowing into a pile of trash someone dumped at the end of the road.

Turning in her seat, Buffy looks back at the back road it went down while she struggles to open the door, “I’ve got to stop this monster before it gets back to Glory.”

Giles puts the car into reverse, “Glory?”

“That’s what he called her. Giles, she’s gonna know Dawn’s the Key if we don’t…”

With some strain in his voice as he puts his old BMW into first, and manhandles the steering wheel around to follow the monster, “We will!”

As they follow it along its crooked route[EM1]  through the city, Buffy almost jumps out of the car a couple of times when Giles misses a particularly sharp turn.

Occasionally, Buffy is certain that the only reason she’s managed to keep track of it is because of the faint blue trail it’s leaving on the dark blue pavement. The first time she mentioned it, Giles stared at her hard enough to crash. Since then she’s just kept directing him through the twists and turns of the city center.

At the speeds they’re driving, it doesn’t take them long to leave Sunnydale proper, and start driving through first the suburbs for the well off, then into the lower cost suburbs, before finally moving into the expensive suburbs, where there’s lots of greenery and sectioned off parks.

Eventually, they reach the grounds of a gated community that has been[EM2]  separated from the rest of the suburb with a chain link fence that is backed with black plastic sheeting.

Here, the monster turns to follow the fence out of the upscale area and back into the lower cost suburbs. Eventually, it seems to get frustrated with being unable to find a way onto the grounds, so it busts its own way through the fence.

While Giles slams on the brakes, Buffy undoes her seatbelt and jumps out of the passenger side of the car towards the gap in the fence.

Running through a picnic area, Buffy curses under her breath as the blue trail is much harder to follow on the grass. Though she catches sight of a faint blue glow moving in the darkness.

Setting off at a sprint, she swiftly starts to close the distance between her and the snake monster, and can just about see it in the faint light from the streets, and the light from the high-end apartment block that is likely to be its destination.

When it crashes through a chain hung between two fence posts, Buffy pauses long enough to arm herself with the chain, before spotting a large outcropping of rock that the monster is looking to go around.

Sprinting forward, she leaps up to the top of the rock with a single jump, and pushes off the other side onto its back. There, she whips the chain around its neck, and grabs the free end with her other hand, before pulling back hard.

Slowly, it’s struggles slow, and then stop as it sinks to the floor. After a couple of moments of holding the chain, in case it’s faking, Buffy lets go while breathing hard. As she does, it surges out from underneath her and darts off towards the apartment building.

Leaping up from the ground, she pushes herself into a jumping leap and skips the intervening space to land on its back. There, she grabs one of its vestigial arms, and turns it to face her. There, she proceeds to beat it into the ground until long after it has stopped twitching.

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

 As they’re driving back to the shop, Giles glances at Buffy, “Buffy, I haven’t forgotten about your possible possession.”

Buffy looks over, “Giles. Can we not. Not right now, mom’s in hospital and I need to get Dawn to her.”

Giles coughs, “Look, Buffy. I understand. However, if you have been possessed, and you don’t know. It could catch you unaware, and you could seriously injure or kill people that are nearby. Including your mother.”

“Giles, it’s not possession.”

“Buffy, you can’t know that. Even if it isn’t, it could be some sort of parasitic demon that is growing inside you.”

Buffy opens her mouth, and then pauses, “Giles, it’s not a demon.”

“Buffy, I’m telling you this as your watcher, not as a friend. We are going to do the same basic trance you used to discover Dawn’s nature. I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to endanger others when a short spell will clear you of possession. If it’s not possession, then we know that you can’t pass it onto someone else while we research what it could possibly be…”

Buffy’s brain stalls as she pictures herself laying a leathery egg, which hatches a spider like thing. That thing then latches onto some sort of demon.

“Buffy, are you listening to me?”

Buffy shakes her head, “Uh, what? Sorry, I spaced out for a moment.”

“I said, if it is a possession, I’ll get one of the others to take Dawn to the hospital while the rest of us perform an exorcism.”

“Ugh. Giles, what if it’s not a possession, but I can still pass it on to someone else?”

“Then we research what it was that passed it on to you, and how to remove it before it hatches. If necessary, we’ll keep you locked in the training room until we’re done.”

 Buffy blanches as a memory of looking out at stars over an alien planet, before being engulfed in flames and appearing outside a Scottish castle, passes through her mind.

As she tries to tell Giles, the words stick in her throat as a self-preservation instinct rears up far stronger than it has ever done before. The savage need to survive no matter the cost or lives spent.

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

 As they get back to the shop, Buffy makes her way into the training room, where she kneels down on the concrete floor in meditation. After a couple of moments, she pauses to wonder why she’s kneeling and not sitting cross legged as she normally does.

That thought is interrupted when her eyes catch sight of the quarter staff, and she considers how she could make a telescoping version that could be used as a baton, short staff, or long staff.

Of course, she’d need to transfigure the metals and alloys needed, but that shouldn’t be too hard once she’s made a wand. But that needs a core from a magical creature. It’s not like there’s a great deal of those around. But she could try demon parts if necessary. Maybe a hair from the bitch queen.

By the time Giles comes in, Buffy has a staff sat across her knees while she’s in the process of drawing out designs for wands, a combistick, and smart disc.

Looking up from her drawing, Buffy smiles, “Hey Giles. See anything unusual?”

Giles shakes his head as the image of a phoenix overlays his protegé, “Oh, um, no signs of possession. Um, I need to go and do some reading.”

Buffy frowns as he turns away from her, “Um, Giles, does that mean I can take Dawn to the hospital now?”

Giles nods absently, “Hmm, oh, right yes.”

While Buffy is putting the staff away, and packing up the drawing supplies, Giles walks back in, ���Um, Buffy. Earlier, did you make a wish?”

Buffy looks over, “Er, yes?”

“Oh, right. Don’t do it again, especially around so much magic.”

As Giles walks away again, Buffy calls after him, “Ok?”

A few seconds later, he comes back, “What was it you wished for?”

Buffy picks up her supplies and walks over to Giles, “I wished there was something I could do. Why?”

“Oh, no reason. Go and see your mother.”

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

 Buffy watches as Dawn is comforted by their mother, as she starts to explain what’s been happening to her.

“Buffy.”

Buffy turns around at the soft voice to see Riley standing there wearing a green turtleneck jumper. With a smile, she walks towards him.

“You ok? You look pretty beat up.”

Buffy nods, “I’m ok. Physically that is. Emotionally, I’m all over the place.”

“Come here.”

Buffy sighs and swallows a sob as she steps into his chest, and he pulls her into a hug. With a sniff, she smells the coppery scent of his blood. Looking up, she wipes a tear off her eye, and pulls aside the neck of his sweater before rubbing her tear soaked finger over the wound.

Riley looks down at her, “It’s all right. Let it all out.”

Buffy smiles sadly, “I can’t. If I start, I’ll be ugly crying for hours, and they need me.”

Riley’s about to caress her cheek, when Joyce calls, “Buffy!”

Buffy turns back to the ward and takes a couple of steps before briefly turning back, “You need to be careful about letting vampires bite you. Their saliva has addictive qualities.”

As she closes the door to the private room, Riley stands there with a lost expression on his face.

First Chapter Next Episode

[houndsofbalthazar]

Oh hey update time, I think the balance is a bit funky in this game. I'm playing on normal because I'm a normie and I don't think my balance issue would be solved on a harder difficulty. One part of the game is customising equipment, and you have a usable equipment slot for every character which you can put various items into, at the start of the game you basically choose between a basic grenade and a passive upgrade. I have unlocked an item that goes in this slot. This item:

Deals 6 damage (vs the ~4 damage of a good shot from your regular gun or hit in melee)

At 10 range (max range for several guns)

Completely ignores armour

Can be used multiple times a turn

Has four uses per mission

You can give it to each of your four guys for a total of 16 uses

Oh and it doesn't cost any action points to use it

It's just... bonkers? 6 damage ignoring armour* is enough to kill a lot of regular enemies in one or two hits, and the enemy squads are not that big. If you give all your guys this item you can essentially instakill 8 enemies which is enough to pretty much just leave the little squishies to deal with who are easy pickings. It seems just a bit good.

*If you care about how armour works in this game, it's extra health that regenerates each turn and is always lost before regular health, enemies with lots of armour can otherwise be annoying to deal with because you have to either completely kill them in one turn or remove their armour twice. Or you just use this absolutely silly item on them.

Playing Chaos Gate Daemonhunters because apparently all I do these days is play 40k video games. Games workshop has a way of getting its claws into you huh.

Anyway mechanically it's not really anything like the original beyond broad strokes (you are space marines, you can customise your weapons in quite a bit of depth, it's a tactical turn based combat game) but it's fun enough. It's in that mould that I think the modern XCOM games really popularised, you know some high level base upgrading and researching interspersed with tactical combat levels to get resources and xp for your guys.

But I think my favourite thing is in the menus several of the sound effects are either straight up lifted from the original or are modern recreations of those sound effects, which is good from both a nostalgia perspective but also because the original chaos gate has some incredible sound design, the CLUNKs of the menus are so satisfying.

[obeythebutler]

hello hello! first things first is that i have been following your vlog for a long time now and its a must for me to check it at least twice or thrice a day! anyways, can we get mc who dreams of the weirdest things about the brothers? like maybe lucifer had refused to do the paperwork diavolo sent him because he wanted to play with cerberus, mammon who became a stripper for food just for money, satan who fears cats and actually prefers dogs, etc. if its not much of a problem, of course!

MC Has Weird Dreams About The Brothers!

LUCIFER

The first time you told Lucifer of the dreams you had about him, the demon couldn't believe his ears.

"What kind of dreams?" He had asked, with that smirk playing on his lips. The demon wasn't expecting you to narrate about the dream where Diavolo was blowing up his D.D.D. concerning the documents which were past due.

And in which Lucifer ignored the calls in favor of petting Cerebrus. And cried because he didn't have three hands to pet the three good boys.

Certainly, the human exchange student had peculiar dreams.

Dreams should remain dreams only, lest his brothers find out and the next thing the demon knows is that he's drunk and crying because he doesn't have enough hands to pet Cerebrus...

....and the fact that this could happen in reality is even more concerning, but Lucifer won't say it out loud.

MC is going to have to stick with him replying 'So true, bestie 💅' in the chat.

MAMMON

What kind of dreams are you having about him—

The demon gets flustered when you mention dreaming about him. But his expression changes from excitement to bafflement to a constipated one when you mention him working at a strip club, and there's also that dream where he turns over a new leaf and becomes a lot more responsible!

The last one is definetly not happening. Nor is the former. Nope!

One dream was where MC was running away from Mammon, while the demon has outstretched his arms and goes "Why are you running? Why are you running?!"

And baby-talking to his familiars!! Mammon won't say it out loud, but he does that to some of his crows!

(Whose the greatest bird of all time? You are! Yes you! You're great enough to be alongside the Great Mammon!")

One time Lucifer was hot on the demon's heels about another debt received. The mail was overflowing with overdue payments, and you were chilling with your barbecued zebra.

"You know, I had a dream where he payed all his debts and you were the one with overdue payments, Lucifer."

LEVIATHAN

Him?? Being a normie?? And a bully?? Participating in normie activities?? Not a chance!

When MC recites how Levi removed all the posters and his precious figurines from his room and turned it into something else, the demon could bear no more! Ruri-Chan for all his demon life!! No one is going to steal her away!

You sit besides Levi while he games, and leaning your head on his arm casually mention how Henry 2.0 was replaced with a racoon.

Your dreams are some serious crack material, MC. Some that Levi himself posts in the group, and then it's a whole circus.

But confident Levi makes him wonder too. Perhaps, if he's a wee bit more assertive then maybe MC would like him more...?

SATAN

Dreams have diverse meanings. Representation of dreams, one's hopes, failures and longings. Flying, falling and—

Him?? Fearing cats and liking dogs?? Mushing over Cerebrus?? Look MC he likes all animals but he could never hate cats look at those paws and ears and—

Though MC's dreams are weirdly hilarious to imagine sometimes. Like Lucifer turning into a peacock and trying to seduce Lord Diavolo. That's going right in the group with an edited picture of Lucifer's face on a peacock.

He's the one asking you to maintain a dream diary, for research purposes, of course. And if the demon is right on time to wake you up with a drink, he'll share a chuckle with you over your latest weird dream.

You have the most absurd of dreams, but maybe some of them can be brought to life? Maybe mixing some hair removal cream into Lucifer's shampoo? Putting googly eyes on all his things?? So many ideas😏

ASMODEUS

So we're having dreams, aren't we? Of course you would dream about him! His beauty is so captivating that it follows into one's dreams too.

What do you mean he's all dirty and has horrendous fashion sense. That simply won't do! Oh no! He's not becoming Satan with his choice of clothes!

(Asmo, to Satan at one point: "Wear your clothes properly, hon."

Not in his wildest dreams!

You once mentioned while the demon was painting your nails about the dream you had where he threw hands with a wall because it insulted his earrings.

Your dreams are certainly the weirdest, and yet Asmodeus finds himself listening in some sort of macabre fascination. His head hurts because of some, but the others are simply too alluring to let pass.

"What if we all were birds? Lucifer would be peacock and Mammon crow, but you'd be a secretary bird, Asmo."

"Secretary bird? Was that another dream of yours?"

BEELZEBUB

When you tell him about a dream of yours, the demon is in the middle of chewing a giant fried gargoyle burger.

Beel doesn't exercise anymore. He's as thin as a stick, and his behind doesn't pass the cake check test. All that muscle gone...(but I will slap his behind, no matter what 😤)

Jk, it's right there for you to smack, MC. Give his behind a nice slap but be beware of not breaking your hand.

Beel has seen the potential you reciting your dreams at the breakfast table has. It almost always leads to more schemes being planned in the Anti-Lucifer League.

So when the demon sees chaos causing due to them, he ensures you're safe from the shenanigans. No one wants shaving cream in their shampoo bottle.

"You know, I had another weird dream."

Beel nods, signalling for MC to continue.

"Okay so it goes like this. Hi my name's Derek welcome to—"

BELPHEGOR

This man dreams of sleeping even when he's asleep. But sometimes he has some of the weirdest dreams when Belpheghor puts in the effort.

When you mention at the table about having a dream where Belpheghor became surprisingly nice and hugged Lucifer, while referring to him as "my lovely eldest brother❤️," the demon shuddered.

He can't imagine Lucifer being all gooey and warm with him, and neither can he.

The demon isn't awake for most of the time. His sin compels him to sleep, and when he's asleep he has fun with it when the mood strikes. Belphegor enters your dreams, and when you both wake up the rest of the brothers wonder why he won't look them in the eye without snickering.

"What's the matter, Belphie?"

"Belphegor stop laughing and at least don't fall in your soup—"

[symphonicmetal101]

Kissing HCs- Where OM Boys Like to Kiss/Be Kissed

(Sfw)

Lucifer

Recieving: he loves temple kisses- he swears, every time you remove his hand from trying to massage a headache away and replace it with a kiss, its magic- coming up behind him while he's working, asking if he's okay with a kiss to his temple? He loves it. He won't admit it openly obviously, but a small smirk and a light blush, maybe a content or relieved sigh say all the words for him.

Giving: Hand kisses!!! He loves slowly taking his gloves off just to gently take your hands and place soft kisses to your knuckles and down your fingers, turning your hand and kissing your palms and wrists as well. He finds it a simple gesture for someone so important to him-

Mammon

Recieving: He loves it when ya kiss his nose! Somehow it catches him off-guard every time, and it makes him so happy- he thinks its especially cute when you try to sneak it, or kiss him and run- don't worry, he'll pay you back ten fold-

Giving: Shoulders and the crook of your neck! He loves to come up behind you and hug you, placing small kisses against your shoulder and neck as he asks you what you're up to, and when you'll be done so you two can cuddle properly-

Levi

Recieving: hehehe you wanna fluster him to the max? Gently ruffle his hair, and push the extra hair away from his forehead to place a kiss there- poor boi is overwhelmed, but he loves it- just don't do it more than once or twice within the hour- he might combust. Do it while he's gaming? Either gives him the boost he needs or flusters him too much- his reaction is cute either way!

Giving: He's really worried about screwing up- so usually a quick peck to the cheek is the best he can do, and its absolutely adorable how he looks at you for approval after he kisses you, face super flushed. Even further on in your relationship, he can't help but blush- his normie is too attractive!!

Satan

Recieving: Satan loves it when you kiss the back of his hand- like a true gentleman, he does this for you on the regular, but for you to flip it on him? Brings a huge smile and blush to his face- if you guys happen to be walking and swinging your hands and you bring his hand up to your lips? Get ready for blushy boy whos already going to return the favour-

Giving: He loves kissing the top of your head, especially when you two are reading together- you're leaning against him, maybe a little- or a lot drowsy- he puts the book away, kissing the top of your head before arranging the two of you comfortably to rest.

Asmo

Recieving: Asmo actually likes getting butterfly kisses more than anything! Your eyelashes tickle him a bit, making him giggle a bit. He loves butterfly kisses on his cheeks- they're so innocent and sweet, how could he not enjoy it?

Giving: Y'know- Asmo loves kissing in general, but again! Favourite kisses to give to you? Bunny kisses!!! He loves seeing your face light up as he gently rubs his nose against yours- but will also give you bunny kisses as a greeting, to your neck, your back, your cheek- doesn't matter to him! Its a nice way to remind him in both cases that you see him as more than just the Avatar of Lust- but as someone who also just wants some actual love-

Beel

Recieving: He loves getting kisses on the forehead too- because he's so tall he doesn't get them often, but if you ask him to pick you up, or you climb on the counter, or you wait until you're sitting with him, he breaks out into a huge smile for the rest of the day, at just the idea of you trying so hard- so when you actually do kiss him there, expect many hugs and being held- maybe so you can give him more kisses.

Giving: He loves to give you tummy kisses! When you guys cuddle so he's laying on top of you, he loves kissing your belly, checking in repeatedly to make sure he's not too heavy for you as he buries his face into you, feeling safe there-

Belphie

Recieving: He loves having the palms of his hands kissed- you can move his arms for him, and the little shit will pretend to fall asleep while you kiss his hands, just so you'll pass out and he can watch you sleep for a bit- well..sometimes he pretends...your presence and simple gesture are very comforting-

Giving: Sometimes he'll wait until you're asleep- or as you're falling asleep, he'll kiss your eyelids and/or brows. He thinks you're so cute no matter what, but the little sleepy smile you get when he kisses you? The best-

Barbatos

Recieving: Now the butler is usually very composed, but the moment you help him remove his gloves and kiss his wrists? Cue a very blushy butler- that definately won't mind if you kiss him more. Soft kisses along his wrist and forearm have him much weaker than he'd like to admit- but his blush does it for him!

Giving: Jaw kisses! To him they feel a little more intimate than cheek kisses, but also on busy nights for him or while other nobles are around, a quick kiss to the jaw is enough time for him to spill the tea about someone nearby without them noticing- leaving you trying not to laugh as he walks away and continues his work, also making sure you are the first to recieve good gossip-

Diavolo

Recieving: ....again, you think he has a preference? The best reaction is probably when you just cup his face and litter it with kisses, giving you a very happy, giggly, blushy prince...however be aware anything you do to him, he will do to you and more-

Giving: Literally anywhere- but loves kissing your nose because he gets to be so close to you- he will leave three kisses from the tip and up the bridge of your nose as he greets you and says goodbye, most times going farther than that- from your nose to your forehead and back down your nose then both cheeks th-

Simeon

Recieving: He loves kisses to the top of his head- they make him feel safe for some reason, and after recieving one he will 100% snuggle into you more if you happen to be cuddling. Alternate between these kisses and running your fingers through his hair, and feel him just absolutely melt into you-

Giving: Simeon loves kissing you right in between your brows. Sometimes you go a little cross-eyed and he finds it adorable! A close second is behind your ear whenever its accessible. He just finds the intimact nice!

Solomon

Receiving: He loves getting kisses to the back of his neck- especially when you hug him from behind and snuggle him a bit first. The back of his neck or just his back- he finds the action cute, and promises to hurry up so he can cuddle you-

Giving: Now he's a little shit and will make you beg for kisses unless ya whap him- well..sometimes- when he's giving kisses of his own accord, they are usually fleeting, quick kisses as he walks by, to the temple, to the cheek, to your shoulder- he doesn't care as long as he gives you more kisses than you give him-

Ok so I may have struggled a bit to keep this sfw, thus all the hand and head repititions-

I apologize😂🥲

Masterlist

[obeymebabes]

hey! i loved your HCs about wisdom teeth removal! Last week i fell down the stairs (basically somersaulted twice before hitting the bottom) when i got up i was bruised all over and super dizzy and had ripped off one of my acrylic nails. half of my real fingernail came with it, and i now understand how pulling off finger/toe nails was a torture method D: could i maybe get a HC of the brothers (maybe plus simeon?) reacting to an mc whos either fallen downstairs or ripped off a nail? Thanks! :)

GOOD HEAVENS ARE YOU OKAY?! I don't usually reply to requests this quickly but I feel like this was like, an emergency?Plus I wanted to make sure you were okay, anon. Sheesh, I don't know how you survived that! I hope that you recover quickly hun! That just sounds absolutely awful.

Lucifer

His eyes were wider than ever when he saw you fall. It actually gave him flashbacks of his fall from the Celestial Realm.

"DEAR LORD DIAVOLO MC ARE YOU OKAY?"

Rushed to you to see if you were still alive after that gnarly tumble.

When he realized you were bleeding from your hand due to the very not attached fingernail, it actually sent shivers down his spine.

All he could remember was how bad it felt when his wings were ripped from his back, just from looking at your finger.

He might be one of the toughest demons but he wasn't thrilled about seeing you in such a state of agony. It reminded him too much of himself.

"I'm taking you to a hospital to get you checked out."

Scooped you up carefully and took you to seek medical attention for your little clumsy incident.

Mammon

He is the reason you fell in the first place.

While you were in the midst of tumbling down the stairs, he really couldn't stop laughing.

It wasn't until you whined in pain that he realized he messed up.

Rushing down to you, and almost falling in the process, he noted the blood that was flowing from where your fingernail used to be.

"Oh shit, MC I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I didn't think you'd fall and get hurt!?"

Panicking, screaming at the sight of blood.

Ran to get Lucifer, who then tended to your bruises, as well as your finger.

Mammon was later strung up by an annoyed Lucifer, upside-down, for hurting you. He felt as though he deserved it though.

Levi

When you fell, he literally stood there in complete shock.

"ARE YOU OKAY?!"

Cue the panic.

"What should I do? OMG YOU'RE BLEEDING."

He literally had no idea how to deal with this situation.

He ran his ass off screaming for one of his brothers to come help you.

Beel was in range and carefully picked you up, calling to Lucifer for further assessment.

"I didn't know you normies were so fragile!"

Levi just stood back while his brothers helped, still panicking.

"Are they going to die?! We haven't even finished the amine marathon yet!"

Satan

The amount of panic that shot through his body was something he had never experienced before.

He immediately rushed to your aid.

"How did you even manage to do that?"

Despite this being the first time something like this has ever happened to him, he knew exactly what to do.

His first mission was to check you for any possible fatal injuries, which would determine whether or not you needed a hospital trip.

Upon inspection of your hand and the missing fingernail, he decided to scoop you up and take to his room to fix you up.

"You can rest in here for the time being, I'll look after you until you heal."

He bandages your finger, and any other possible wounds. As well as getting ice packs for the bruised spots.

Satan regularly checked on you between reading human medical books he had stored away.

Needless to say, you'd be in great hands.

Asmo

Cue intense dramatic shreiking and absolute horror.

"Goodness MC!"

Quickly by your side and checking your body for any damage.

Oh man when he saw your fingernail missing he almost passed out.

That is literally one of his biggest nightmares.

He was sure you needed medical attention, after all, that was a nasty fall.

He was quick to call emergency services, then proceeded to inform his brothers on the situation.

Despite being a bit squeamish, he did the best he could to stay with you in your time of need.

Later when he found your missing fingernail on the stairs, he cringed so bad his whole body got goosebumps just picturing the pain you must've been in.

Beel

Whatever food or drink item he may have been carrying was now on the floor.

He was quick to get to you, trying to not panic at the sight of you.

"Don't worry, I've got you. You're okay."

Beel carefully lifted you up to rest you on a nearby couch. He wanted you to feel a bit more comfortable than being on the ground.

He gently wrapped up your damaged finger with a piece of his shirt to temporarily stop any bleeding that may have occured.

He also brought you some ice, in hopes that it would ease some pain.

He called Satan, assuming that he had better knowledge of how to help than himself.

Beel kept a watchful eye on you in his room, letting you sleep in his bed while you recovered.

Belphie

Unfortunately he didn't have any idea what to do.

He was also very tired so he thought he was dreaming.

When he rubbed his eyes and you were still laying at the bottom of the stairs, he realized this was in fact not a dream.

He screamed for Beel as he went to your side, checking over you.

When Beel came and helped you up, he stayed very close to make sure you weren't dead.

At Beel's request he went and gathered some ice for you, and some bandages on his way.

"This is why I never leave the bed. Don't worry, we will take good care of you. You can stay with me in my bed so I know you're alright."

~ Extra ~

Simeon

Did you really think he would let you fall?

Not today. Not ever.

What kind of angel would he be if he let his little lamb get hurt??

Even if you were to fall, you'd be healed within minutes thanks to his powers as an angel. Almost as if nothing ever happened.

Simeon always kept an eye on you, and did his best to keep you away from any harm. That is what he does.

He will always keep you safe.

"What would I do if you got hurt? Well, in my presence no such thing would happen. It's my job as an angel to keep you safe, dear."

[shebitfirst]

Our undoing; 1.

Pairing: All Demon Brothers/Female!MC Genre: Fluff, angst & Smut,Harem Warnings: NSFW, graphic language in relation to sex/BDSM/violence/kidnapping/witch craft(?)

Prologue

(I apologise for such a long first chapter! I’ve been having ideas and scenarios bouncing off my head since starting this series! I’ve also been immersed in reading so much books during this lockdown my country is having! I promise to be more consistent up here with little little stories as well. Please, please, leave me feedback, questions, requests, anything! The steamy portion of this happens toward the end of the story- I’m not used, at all, in writing smuts so please bare with me as I continuously try to learn!) all characters;thoughts/“spoken” -----------------------------------

Day 1, 8:45am

You hear faint footsteps wandering your bedroom, occasionally stopping against the end of your bed. Silence. Following more pacing.

Assuming it was one of the brothers, Another prank?

You feel a presence lurking almost on top of you. The weight sets upon your chest, crawling up against your throat-

Your eyes shoot open as you spring upright, hands clawing at your bedsheets. No one- nothing, eyes wandering around your room. The sun slowly seeping against your bed and on your skin, nothing is out of place, no door unhinged, windows shut tight.

Tired. I’ve been up all night with Levi...  trying to complete another level of his new video game.

Your brows narrowed at the cold air around your room while you start opening windows, setting your uniform against your desk No calls nor messages from the boys as you set your D.D.D aside.

Why is it so cold? We’re in the middle of summer...

Bang.

As if a gunshot. Your heart drops to your stomach. But nothing seems to have fallen in your bedroom.

“What the fuc-”

“MC? Are you awake?” Lucifer’s voice startling you. You hear him gently knock on the door. “Y-yes! Lucifer, I am! You can come in.” You smooth out your nightgown before running over and opening the door.

“Good morning, love. I’m sorry to have come uninvited.” Lucifer smiles as he enters your bedroom. “I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me for breakfast?” Typically you’d grow red with nicknames said against the lips of Lucifer, but right now your heartbeat is in your ears, ringing.

“MC?” He questions as he sees you, still, against your bedroom door. Slowly, he walks over keeping a steady gaze on you, crotched down with his hand against your chest- feeling your heartbeat. He thought he was hearing the sound of your breath; not this intense pounding. His pupils burn into the back of your mind, unsettling you even more.

Words don’t come to mind, you stare blankly through him. “I-i’m sorry, I don’t know what’s coming over me. I must still be tired from playing video games all night with Levi.” You gently place your hand over his, laughing in hopes to cover the nervous crack in your voice.

Lucifer laces his hands with yours. “I see..” He’s not convinced. “Let’s get you dressed for the day, shall we?”

Humming in response as he looms over you whilst removing your nightgown. Your back against him as he pulls your uniform over your shoulders. A comforting yet cold silence fills the room. Your eyes dart to various shelves, tabletops- Looking for the source of the sudden noise.

Lucifer’s hands roam against your thighs and up your waist whilst zipping up your skirt then finally, pulling up your socks. He focuses in on your expression with every touch. Strange, he doesn’t seem to catch a glimpse of a smile nor a flinch. Your eyes focus straight to the ground, never faltering- eyebrows narrowed in.

“My love, if there were ever anything not to your satisfaction... You would inform me, yes?” Lucifer’s stern voice coated with concern- He steps in front of you, blocking the sunlight. His gloved hand making its way under your chin to shift your gaze upon him.

“Yes..” Liar. “Of course, Lucifer. You know I would.”

He chuckles under his breath. “That’s a good girl, now.” He raises his hand for you to hold. “Let’s see ourselves to breakfast.” 9:16 am

Bickering fills the hallway from the dining hall. Raised voices, occasional clings and cups clanking. Noisy.. as usual. You thought.

You clutch your D.D.D and school books against your chest, trying to ignore the pounding sensation, occasionally turning your gaze aside to check for him. Lucifer silently trials a step behind you watching, hearing your heartbeat echoing in his ears. He knows you lied very clearly but Lucifer doesn’t ask, twice. But how often do you forget Lucifer, they, the brothers know you by heart and mind. They’ve memorised your every habit, instincts and curve. How am I to hide this from him...

You chew on your bottom lip. “Lucifer..” You breathlessly say his name as you both approach the dining hall. His hand reaches pass you, pressing against the door. “Lucifer, are there other beings.. one more sinister, than demons.. in devil dom?”

You ask in innocence. 

His gaze slowly turns towards you, mouth shapes almost into a laugh- until he spots your pupils dilate, your heartbeat still rapid.

“Love.. I-”

You both hear footsteps running towards the dining hall door as it swings open.

“BABE! Where have ya’ been! We’ve been waiting all morning!”

Mammon says at the top of his voice, his slender frame blocking the entrance. Lucifer sighs and leads you in, passing Mammon while ignoring him.

“Lucifer?! Did you sleep with her last night?! Tell me ya didn’t! I remember walking her to her room!”

Your ears perked up.

Mammon.. walked me to my room? No, I distinctively remember me heading back myself.

Mammon goes on a rant as Lucifer guides you to your seat and settles you in.

“I’m telling ya, ya can’t keep having her like this! It ain’t half fair to all of us! How did ya even get the time to have her to yourself all night, did you sneak into her roo-”

“Mammon.” Lucifer snaps.

Mammon swallows loudly and steps back to his seat. “Ugh, Mammon, shut up. It’s too early for this. Let MC eat her breakfast in peace. We have a class together, don’t we?” 

Belphegor places his chin against the crook of your arm, sleepy eyes meet yours.

“Yes, Bel. We do have a class together.”

You hide your nervousness with a chuckle whilst taking a sip of juice. Mammon and Lucifer have a debate at the end of the dining table. Your hand fumbles with your glass, swishing it around.

Eyes darting back and forth against the dining table. There’s a sudden buzzing sensation in your ears. Numerous conversations and the clanking of metal feel like stings into the back of your head-

“Hanc arborem ac omnes hospitas devora… Redi ad periculum tuum.”

An unknown voice, almost coming from behind you. Whispering.

W-what is this... 

“Redi ad periculum tuum..”

Who..?  Ahh... No, this hurts.

You feel as if hands were dug deep into your rib cage- twisting your bones. The grip around your glass tightens. You cringed, it felt like fire. You let out a soft groan.

Oh- god. I-it hurts. Fuck.

Pain replaces your vision with a blinding white flash- Your breath shortens and chest tightens.

“Pleas-please.. stop. It hurts..”

Your voice cracks, your hands both trembling. Your body feels rooted to the chair, paralysed almost- the buzzing in your head increasingly gets louder and louder. 

Replacing all background noise from the dining hall. 

“N-no..”

You suppress your groans through gritted teeth-

The avatar of lust seated on your right- Asmodeus spots the glass in your hand shaking against the table, chuckles before 

“Hah! My dear MC, now now, you don’t have to tremble nervously around me, my love! Here, let me feed you a strawberry, I know it’s your favo- MC...?”

Asmodeus picks up your low whimpering as your head slowly begins to lower onto the cool tabletop.

“MC, you haven’t eaten anything at all- Please have some food. You know it’s important” 

Beelzebub observes from across the table and immediately shoots up from his chair and strides over with food in hand.

Why.. Why am i.. I feel like i’m burning. The pain heightens- Resonating from the top of your head right down to your arms. Your grip shatters the glass- the dining hall goes silent. 7 pairs of eyes land on you almost immediately.

“Ah!”

You let out a faint scream. Shooting your head up in a daze- the buzzing in your ears dialling out. Fingertips cold as ice; numb. You blink and try to adjust your vision, wanting to rub your eyes when a cold hand reaches for you.

“No. You’re hurt.”

Asmodeus as he grabs your wrist, taking  a handkerchief from his breast pocket to clean your fingers. Blood?

Dripping on your white blouse. Shaking your head in disbelief, you shift yourself to stand. “I.. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened, I must be tired. I will see myself back to my ro-”

You groan as your vision flashes white for a second time. Falling back on your seat, you hear footsteps surrounding you.

“Satan,”

Lucifer breaks the silence. “Please take her to your room” Before you manage to protest, Beelzebub picks you up in his arms. “Beel..” You coo in his arms before exhaustion takes you away.

“Lucifer, what was that?” Mammon questions as his eyes follow you being carried away by his brothers.

“Was that some normie... reaction? Is she ill?”

The purple-haired Avatar of Envy questions as he subconsciously trails behind Satan and Beelzebub exiting the dining hall before being blocked by Lucifer. “Satan will see to it.” Uncertainty in his response, the brothers look toward the eldest. “But, I am sure this is not how human bodies react when falling under illness... However, this will be kept within us. No one else shall know what transpired this morning. I will not have anyone interfere with her recovery, asking questions she knows no answers to. Until then, we shall go about our day.”

And he took his leave.

“Lucifer!” Mammon shouts after the eldest as he shuts the doors. “Tch, he’s always leavin’ us to hang and clean up the mess he leaves behind!” “She looked so pale.. I could barely feel warmth from her hands.” Asmodeus says in frustration, whilst folding the stained handkerchief back into his jacket. The four brothers look to one another, seeking answers. “I can’t just stand here and wait for Lucifer to provide answers anymore! I’m goin’ up.” Mammon pushes pass Leviathan, ignoring all protests of defying Lucifer’s orders. “We ought to plan something.” Yawned Belphegor, clutching his cow print pillow to his chest. “Well I think Mammon just decided that on his own.” Leviathan says as he sends a message to your D.D.D in hopes you would respond when time permits. “You’d think she would answer that? With Satan aiding her in his room and Lucifer lingering over her? I don’t think so! Ugh, Am I to just stand here and wait?!” Asmodeus exclaims and starts to pick up your books to return them to your bedroom. “Asmo! Where do you think you’re going!” The sleepy demon rushes out of the door tagging along to Asmodeus frantically heading towards your room- “Do you really think I’m going wait around for orders, Belphie? Of course not! See now, you’re here so hold her books!” Leviathan sulks against the huge wooden door, continuing typing away in hopes he would be the first one you reach out to when you wake up. 3:01pm,

All you manage to gather were the following; You’re in Satan’s bed, occasionally Lucifer looms above you with the cold graze of his gloved hand over your closed eyes and forehead. Beelzebub has barely left your side, clinging onto your hand subtly checking your pulse from time to time. The subtle sounds of pages flipping then being torn, satan has been blowing through his collection of books in attempt to diagnose you with what they hope to be just a common flu. All these sounds and sensations happening around you; yet you feel trapped in sleep. Frozen at the very spot Beelzebub laid you down what seems to be hours ago. “It’s almost mid afternoon..” Lucifer’s voice breaks the sensitive atmosphere. “I will have to report to Lord Diavolo for some matters regarding the next annual student selection.” You feel his slender fingers against your neck once more before hearing Lucifer exit. “Satan, I will leave her to you. I shall return when all is settled.” “Hanc arborem ac omnes hospitas devora… Redi ad periculum tuum.”

Your eyelids weigh down your vision- feeling like you’re looking through a broken lens, the candle’s glow from Satan’s room is all you’re able to make out. I keep hearing the same incantation.. Propping yourself up against his headboard and thick pillows, rubbing your eyes. You didn’t manage to pick up the foot steps coming toward you. All you feel were a pair of hands against your thighs. “How are you feeling?” “I’m not even sure myself.. It feels like-” Your breath hitches and for a split second you spot a figure behind Satan, 

“Hm? What is it? What’s wrong?” His hands move towards your face cupping your cheek as you gaze blankly pass him. “No.. It’s nothing.” You spent what felt like hours, trying to explain thoroughly to Satan what has conspired during breakfast and what you felt coursing through your body, you boil it down to being exhausted and maybe lack of food which Beelzebub had returned from the kitchen with a tray of snacks and sandwiches for the three of you to dine into then excusing himself to look for his twin and the remaining brothers. But Satan knows better than that, from all the books and studies he’s been doing on humans and our anatomy surrounding illness- no amount of exhaustion unless it be through an extended period of time could cause that. You reiterate that you do not have any past medical illnesses that you were aware of. “Was there anything else? Anything.. Dare I say, out of the ordinary?” His tone is careful; gentle, almost not wanting to step over any boundaries. Without a thought- you shake your head. You thought that maybe when you’re able to remember the incantation- you would inform the brothers but for now, it’s all to be left at that. “Alright.” Satan says as he puts all his books away, returning to you lying on his bed; Hair spread out through his indigo pillows, your uniform blouse tucked out as your skirt reveals your upper thighs and knee socks. He tries to keep some composure as you thank him for tending to you for what feels like hours. “Of course, who would I be if i were to sit aside and merely watch?” He sits beside you on his bed, stroking your cheek. “Are you tired?” He whispers, not wanting to end this tender moment. “I was.” “Satan..” You whimper his name, slowly losing grip of his composure with you writhing under him. “Are you afraid of.. anything?” A peculiar question he thought, “In this moment? You..” Your mouth agape, you cannot help but to study his face- features, his eyes shifted colours from green to yellow and oh my god, how often would you find yourself losing thoughts in them.

“W..what? Come again?” He closes the space between you two fingers tracing the back of your neck, you feel his breath against your lips.

“You’ve come here and enchanted all of us.. Demons. How, why?” You try to answer but Satan brings his lips to your forehead, his lips tremble against you- his breath hitches. “You need not answer, my pet. I’m just.. Thinking out loud.” He sounds almost shy, almost afraid of what he’s about to do or say; Your heart beat is so loud you’re for certain he can hear it beating out of your chest. “Satan..” you purr his name. “Please.. My pet.. Don’t look at me that way-” He rests his head against your shoulder, whispering into your neck. “I don’t wish to sin on someone so innocent.. Especially not in vulnerability.” You lead his hand against your chest, “I am not a child.”

“Then.. will you allow me to have you all to myself tonight, my pet?” His cold breath hitting against the crook of your neck and you almost moan from the sensation- “Yes.” You say breathlessly;

His once light green eyes deepen as he shifts himself on top of you- holding you so gently; “Don’t take this the wrong way, pet. But how I have longed for this moment. If i have to be honest, I was thrilled when Lucifer ordered me to tend to you; knowing It would just be you and I and seeing you laying in my bed.. You truly are a sight to see.” Satan’s swift hands pull open your blouse and his long fingers graze your dampening core, crashing his lips onto yours. He sighs into them, for what it feels like forever between you two; waiting and teasing. His tongue prised your teeth apart as he deepened the kiss- Pulling him closer you throw your legs over Satan, straddling him- He pushes your cotton panties apart he inserts his slender fingers and you feel your insides twist as you throw your head back into a groan- breaking the kiss. He eyes your heaving chest and how red spread across your cheeks. Sensantation takes over you as he pumps long strides in and out of you, your hips buck back and forth and back and forth. “Oh, my pet, tell me, do you feel good?” Satan nibs along your ear and leaves messy kisses all over your neck. All you manage was a moan. You wrap your arms around his shoulder to steady yourself grinding and making a mess on his fingers. “Aah..” Attempting to suppress your moans you gnaw on your bottom lip. “No.” Satan tightly grips the back of your neck turning you to face him. “Let me hear you, let me take your pain away.” He continues to pump deeper and deeper into you, you feel the knot in your stomach twisting tighter and tighter. “Yes, yes, my pet. Make a mess of yourself on my fingers. Come on.” His thumb grazes over your trembling lips- his eyes move onto your dripping core, the soft of your moans fill his room. “Mmmhm!” Your walls clench around his fingers, your body falling back against the bed. “Oh, pet. Look at you.” He hovers above you and licks his fingers clean of your arousal. “You’re so pretty.. So pure..” He coo’s into your ear. Your hands fumble against his belt unbuckling it, you hear him chuckle against your neck. Nipping and biting down. “Mm, pet. I thought it would be quite unfair to take you in this.. Situation, but your wailing and moaning certainly proves otherwise.” “Please..” Satan goes to remove his sweater and bottoms while pulling your panties off you, leaving you in your uniform. He looms over you stroking his hard member while his knee pushes your thighs apart. Your lips part at the sight of the size of him, unsure if you’re physically able to take him. “S-satan.. I..” his name just falls off your lips almost in a moan. Again he hovers above you, he strokes his tip at your wet folds; your body feels like it’s on fire- Gently he strokes your cheek, eyes tracing your features- the harsh contrast of this dirty act against his gentle fingers against your face. From all your time here in devildom, you and satan spent gentle nights together with books at your company, nothing of this sorts. Your vision turns glassy the more you shift closer to him, kissing his plump lips. You melt into him as he breaks the kiss, “Pet.. “ He says almost sounding out for permission. You nod and buck your hips against him, your core throbbing waiting to be filled. “Please, Satan.. Please.” Wrapping your arms around shoulders, nipping at the crook of his neck. He smells of books, musk and the candles that dorn around his room. You’re a mess beneath him. “Ooh my pet, yes, I haven’t even begun with what I’m about to do to you and you’re already soaked. Tell me how I feel.” And with that he pumps into you, fingers rubbing your clit- throwing you over the edge. Your hips buck up higher and following his rhythm; he removes your arms around him and slam your wrists tightly together above your head causing you to squeal. “Yes yes yes, pet. Ooh, you feel so good.. So tight around me. Mmhm.” He pounds faster and harder as you hook your legs around his slender waist. Satan’s grip on your wrist tightens; his blonde locks brush against your neck as he bites down. Hard. Freeing your wrist he grabs your waist and angles your hips, spreading your legs open for him to see, his hips move quicker and quicker with every thrust. You almost can see the outline of his cock inside of you. Your hands try to squeeze his sheets as you try not to fully scream. “Fuck, you feel so good. Look at this pretty pink pussy taking all of me. Oh, my pet.” “Oh oh oh! S-satan!” “Yes, louder, let my brothers hear you. Mhm! Yes, let them know I’m the first one buried deep inside you my pet.” Dropping you on the bed and bringing one of your legs over his shoulder, his rhythm starts slowing down and his strokes deep- but slow, you feel your legs trembling- the familiar feeling of your insides twisting, moaning as you clench down on him. “You’re making a mess of my bed, aren’t you my pet? Mm. Oh- you feel divine, like velvet around my cock.” He takes your mouth; slowly. “Are you gonna cum on my cock, my pet? Hmm? Let me fill you up? Leave you aching until tomorrow morning, reminding you of me in you?” Lust fully hazes over you; barely able to process anything apart from the growing pressure from your core. “Answer me, my pet.” He roughly grips your jaw as his tongue lingers along the curve of your lip. “Y..yes! Yes!” You scream, wrapping your legs tightly around him once more- A primal growl comes from his chest, the remaining delicate touches fade. “As you wish..” He flips you over and you’re not straddling his hips as he pounds into you- slightly leaning you back, now you’re in full view for his pleasure. Your hands grip the sheets for support. “F..fuck, yes, yes. Ooh, are you close- my pet? Are you gonna cum for me, with me?” His hands tightly grip your hips- rocking you back and forth. “Y-yes!” He props up on his elbows, pulling you in as he leans your foreheads together. One hand still steadying you- he raises his hips, grinding into you. “Cum- cum!” He gives a final blow- you feel his cock twitch inside you, warmth spilling into you. Your legs tremble, shakes, you’re dazed and fucked out, still whimpering his name. He stays inside you for a moment- wiping the sweat off your forehead as he kisses you once more; Tender, you thought. Still so tender. His fingers trace your back and neck, rubbing your arms- “Allow me to clean you.” He says with care, gently laying you back down. You manage a nod, exhaustion now creeping up against you still in awe of what happened. Satan returns with a wet cloth, cleaning you up and not failing to kiss all the spots he has bruised. “You’re staring, pet.” He comments as he puts your clothes away. “I know.. Can’t I?” He smiles at your reply, pulling you into his chest as your eyelids grow heavier. “Sleep, pet. You’ve been so good today.. To me.” Kissing your forehead, pulling the covers over you. “I will be here when you wake.” You take that as a promise. 8:51pm, You surrender yourself to sleep.

-----------------

All my love, Angel.

[fatass-verified]

stupid rant ahead

i can't fucking stand normies trying to tell me that a 200 cal piece of pita bread is more healthy than 105 small loaf of french bread... deadass lol, my cousin went to a dietitian once (and she didn't lose the weight she wanted to lose lol) and all of a sudden she thinks she's a dieting expert and gives shit diets to the whole family, she gives them all the same diet, which is a personalized diet her dietitian gave her that DIDN'T FUCKING WORK and she ended up getting a surgery to remove her stomach to lose weight? like out of all my family i'm the only one that has actually lost any amount of weight naturally and didn't gain it all back, but somehow i'm the one taken the least seriously when it comes to that topic lol, like okay SUZAN go ahead and eat shit food and lose 5 kilos then gain them all back cuz you're eating nasty food in stupid portions. like seriously somehow they think they're "allowed" a certain amount of each food daily for some reason like five strawberries or two olives or whatever and i don't understand how that works? like yeah okay five strawberries are x cals but my lunch was y cals yesterday and my lunch today was twice that amount, i'm still allowed the same amount? or it was less than yesterday i'm supposed to be allowed more strawberries today no? stupid asses, maybe i did lose my weight in an unhealthy matter, but i maintain it in a healthy was surprisingly and i've read enough media from both sides of the diet culture and have a clear understanding of how bodies and fat work and how stupid diet culture can be in a million different ways so i am pretty much up to date with the new studies and from experience, i know than you can easily lose weight and not gain it all back by simply learning to listen to your body and still eating all the foods you want (in moderation obviously) but of course no fucking SUZAN that has never successfully lost weight until she literally SURGICALLY REMOVED HER WHOLE STOMACH AND PHYSICALLY CAN NOT EAT MUCH ANYMORE that has went to the dietitian ONCE and swears by her shitty diet that the whole family has tried so far and it didn't work for anyone lol knows more than ME, the only skinny person out of my family, that is known for her binge eating problems and still managed to lose over ten kilograms and maintain a healthy weight for five years, sometimes i don't understand people and it makes me mad :)

[ornii]

My Better Bitter Half, Part 9

Part 9: Pilgrimage

“Let's assess, shall we? Bag over my head for optimal disorientation, wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no idea if I'm going to live or die. It's definitely my kind of party.”

(Y/n) and Wednesday, twins were bagged and dragged into a dark decrepit hole unbeknownst of their location.

“Who dares breach our inner sanctum?” A haunting voice comes out, their masks were suddenly taken off as they look around, and realize they’re still in the library.

“You can take the mask off, Bianca.” Wednesday says.

“And just like that, my hopes were dashed against the rocks of bitter disappointment. My foe was no psychotic killer. More like a bunch of high school clowns.” Wednesday thinks as they remove their masks

“Wait, I preferred you with it on.” Wednesday said.

“How did you get down here?” One asks

“Rowan” (Y/n) chimes in. “She tracked the watermark to the Poe statue. Then I solved the riddle.”

“Wait, there's a riddle?” One asks, “I thought we just snapped twice.”

“Wow, absolute Einstein here” (y/n) says with his burning sarcasm.

“The Nightshades are an elite social club.

Emphasis on elite.” Bianca said.

“We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip. And Yoko's an amateur mixologist. She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild.” One girl adds in.

“Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?” Wednesday said with her cold sarcasm

“Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded.” (Y/n) said.

“Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died.” Xavier says

“But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves.”

“Someone like Rowan?” Wednesday adds in.

“We booted that loser last semester. Question is, what are we gonna do with them? Only members are allowed in this library.” Bianca says, and Xavier comes up with an idea.

“I say we invite them to pledge. They’re Addams, both legacy.” He explains.

“After the crap they pulled in the Poe Cup, there's no way in hell.”

“Are you mad we beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble glow fish.” He stands up and reveals his undone bindings.

“I'm not interested in joining, and I’m sure my sister isn’t.”

“You're seriously turning us down?” One says.

“Yes Because your little social club is so inviting.” He walks to the door, but is stopped by Kent, the mermaid and the twin of Divina.

“If you think the little burns you had at the Cup were bad, I’ll fillet you alive, get out of my way.” (Y/n) says with such unnerving calmness, Kent awkwardly side stepped and (Y/n) turned to Wednesday.

“When you’re done toying with them, let me know.” He heads up the flight of stairs to leave his more than capable sister there.

Minutes later he’s awaiting at the gate of the school, and his sister arrives.

“Good, you’re done playing with them, we can figure out our next move.” (Y/n) says.

“It seems the Nightshades were a dead end. They’re not capable of murdering Rowan, they’re barely capable of kidnapping two people.”

“Well your Standards are unnaturally high.” He says and nudges his sister, she stares at him and he walks back to his dorm, Wednesday watches her leave.

“There were so many threads to my investigation, I could weave a burial shroud. I still have no idea how Rowan mysteriously rose from the dead. Or why that monster is prowling the woods. But right now, nothing intrigues me more than this book. If I'm going to be responsible for Nevermore's demise, the question is, why am I sharing this apocalypse with a pilgrim?”

The next morning, The Students Are forced to stand at the Quad as Weems gives them the rundown for their Jobs.

“All students will report for their volunteer jobs at 10:00 a.m. sharp, followed by a community lunch at 1:00. As you know, this year Outreach Day culminates in a very special event, the dedication of a new memorial statue in the town square, which will also include performances by Nevermore students. As representatives of our school, I trust you will all put your best face forward.” She says, and hands out slips of paper for the Postions they’ll play. The Addams twins and Enid get theirs.

“Yes! I got Pilgrim World!” Enid says and (Y/n) checks it.

“Me too.” He ways, “I have natural people skills and a love of performing, so it's kind of the obvi choice.” Enid says, and grabs (Y/n)‘s arm.

“We can wear matching clothes!” Enid says smiling, which quickly changes the sullen demeanor of (Y/n). Who smiles.

“ I suppose I don’t hate that…” he says softly, and Enid turns to Wednesday.

“What'd you get?”

“Uriah's Heap, whatever that is.” She said, the students convey to Jericho to assist at Pilgrim world

“Ew. It's this weird, creepy antique store.” Enid says. “You'll love it though. I'm crossing my claws Ajax and I will be outreaching together.” Enid says, which (Y/n)‘s smile quickly Fades.

“Fantastic.” He walks off, and Weems has reached the front and begins.

“Welcome, welcome, Nevermore Academy.

Now, on behalf of the entire Jericho community, we are so, so pleased to have you all here today. Your generosity and hard work are truly... outreachous! Okay, everyone. We'll see you back here at one o'clock for lunch. Enjoy!” Weems says, (Y/n) adjusts his tie, ready to Woo Enid and make her forget about Ajax, as Enid prepares, Wednesday approaches her.

“Enid. Switch volunteer assignments.”

“What? No. Uriah's Heap is definitely not my bag.”

“It's an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World.”

“But Wednesday, this is not a fair trade. Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?”

“Because Ajax is volunteering there. Thing sneaked a peek at his assignment. But if you're not interested...” Wednesday begins to retract, but Enid grabs it.

“No! Oh my God, thank you. You're the best!” Enid skips away, (Y/n) stands with the ground, he turns left as he senses the approach of a woman, he turns with a smile to face enid but he unfortunately sees Wednesday.

“Wednesday? Where’s enid? You didn’t hurt you did you?”

“No, she swapped assignments with me.”

“Uh, why?” He asks, “She hates all things creepy.”

“Ajax is working at the Heap. That convinced her.” Wednesday says, (Y/n) was at a loss for words, the anger and disappointment was at a maximum as he lost his chance to possibly sweep Enid off her feet.

“I would have preferred Enid.” He says.

“I still cannot comprehend what you see in Her.”

“You don’t understand the Human emotional spectrum? I’m so shocked.” He says with sarcasm. “I’d like to spend time with women who aren’t related to me, unless you just don’t want Enid to snatch me away from you~”

“You are absurdly full of yourself, She’s After Ajax, do yourself a favor and accept cold reality. Wednesday says, He opens his mouth to say something less than appealing to his sister, but Eugene intervenes.

“Hey, Wednesday, want to grab a Hummers group photo?” He says, standing in the frame and the twins turn to face him, now both of them with the same stone face.

“Guess not.” Eugene says sheepishly as he walks away, suddenly, a woman approached, dressed as a Pilgrim.

“Good morrow, my young Nevermore kin. I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC. Original colonist. Now prithee, put your cell phones on vibrate and make haste, for you are about to travel back in time to the year of our Lord 1625, to Jericho's first pilgrim settlement. Yonder. Behold, the meeting house. Inside is a collection of artifacts related to Jericho's most beloved and pious founder, Joseph Crackstone. And beyond is our privy, America's first gender-neutral restroom.” She says, “Does anyone have a question about the bathrooms?” (Y/n) begins to raise his hand but Wednesday puts it back down.

“I haveth a query.” Wednesday said.

“Pray, be quick, child.”

“In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?”

“It is truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot.”

“Sounds fascinating. My Brother and I volunteer to work in there.”

“Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated.

Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World. Ye olde fudgery!” She says, and shows the children a Fugde production shop

"Ye Olde Fudgery?" (Y/n) says, raising an eyebrow.

“More like ye olde diabetes in a box.” His sister retorts.

“Volunteers, prick up thine ears. Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community. And samples equal sales, so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud.” She says. And adults hand out pieces of the uniforms.

“Are these for muzzling tourists?” Wednesday says.

“No, perhaps we can use them for muzzling troublesome siblings.” (Y/n) thinks.

The twins unfortunately put on a perfect facade of creepy pilgrims as (Y/n) stands there with a plate of Fudge, and Wednesday next to him.

“Enjoy your "authentic" pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon. All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history.” She says in fluent German.

(In French) “Also, fudge wasn't invented for another 258 years. But please, continue to fuel this soulless corporation with your money so your children can still call Native Americans “Indians” (Y/n) says in perfect French.

“Any takers?” They say in Union, which creeps out the tourists and they leave. He calmly tosses the plate over his shoulder.

“This is getting ridiculous.” He says, Wednesday looks around and eyes the door she wishes to enter and walks off, (Y/n) follows, eventually the duo reach the door and Wednesday, using her oddly knowledgeable skill of breaking and entering unlocks the door and heads inside, he follows closely and the duo see the house, it was obviously turned into a museum, displaying multiple items

“My grandmother once told me secrets are like zombies... they never truly die. I'm not sure what secret Crackstone is hiding, but I have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past. The Old Meeting House, 1625.”

“(Y/n), this is the girl from my vision. She's even holding the same book. That black one she had outside Crackstone's crypt.” Wednesday says, and (Y/n) turns to see a book on display.

“Codex Umbrarum. Book of Shadows." He opens it, and sees it all Empty. “Great. It's a fake.” He checks the back of it as his sister peers over his shoulder.

“I don't know who Etsy is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler.”

“No, she wasn’t.” He says, their investigation was suddenly sidelined as Arlene sees them.

“Just what the fudge are you two doing in here?” She says,

“Mistress Arlene.“ (y.n) said, “I proclaimed the meeting house is under repair.” She says “I know thoust heard me.”

“We don’t have firm for this. What happened to the original?” (Y/n) says, and Arlene frowns

“A child unknowing to respect thine elders, The original was stolen last month during the two o'clock witch trial.”

“It was probably the only authentic thing you have in here, yet you still charge $29.95 a ticket?” Wednesday says.

“Hold thy tongue. I'm reassigning you both.

To fudge-churning duty.”

“The original meeting house, the one in that painting, where is it?”

“How the hell should I know?

I only moved here from Scottsdale in April.” She says dropping the attitude.

“Fantastic, we’ll have to find it ourselves, I’ll ask around.” (Y/n) says.

“Ask who? No one living knows—“

“Exactly, no one living. Now If you’ll excuse me sister.” He says to Arlene, she frowns and walks off.

Back at Nevermore, (Y/n) sits cross legged in an Ally, with Wednesday watching guard, she turns to face him.

“Have you found the information yet?” She asks, his head suddenly jerks back and then forth and he opens his eyes, Gasping for air.

“I, think I do…” he says, and walks off into the forest, almost zombie like, they reach a burned down building, they search but, find nothing.

“Can you touch a leaf or something and get a vision?” (Y/n) asks.

“No, I can't just touch something. My visions seem to happen spontaneously.”

“Mother could help you learn some of the power”

“I would rather dye my hair pink than ask mother for advice.”

“Why am I not surprised, Maybe You’re Just afraid to see a vision.” He says sarcastically.

“Oh, you want me to prove it to you?” She says and grabs random items

“No. Nothing. Ah, I bet this will give us some real insight.” She says holding a Taco Bell bag..

“My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks.” Wednesday touched the gate and immediately stiffens up and convulses. (Y/n) rushes to her side and grabs her.

“Wednesday? Wednesday?!” He yells, she seems to be lost in a vision, and (Y/n) takes her away.

Minutes pass inside his room, he had a circle drawn around Wednesday, using his otherworldly skills to try and assist his sister, but her body suddenly awakens and she sits up.

“(Y/n), I saw her! The girl from my visions.

Her name is Goody Addams, and I believe she's our ancestor from 400 years ago.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with Crackstone?

“I saw Joseph Crackstone in front of me as clearly as I'm seeing you now. He gathered all the outcasts in the meeting house and burned them alive.”

“I see, I see.. so that’s why they’re connected, Joseph killed Goody. Then Crackstone has to do with what’s going on… well, we have to think about this later, we have the concert to perform at? I assume Weems told you.

“Unfortunately so.”

“I thought nothing scared me, but that was before I stared into the eyes of Joseph Crackstone. I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain, but I've never faced an adversary cast in bronze.”

The Addams Twins are with other students in Jericho, preparing for the Band, but (Y/n)’s guitar skills were unmatched. But his sisters cello ability was unmatched. Weems approaches the podium.

“Thank you. It is my honor to celebrate our town's history and Jericho's noble forefather, Joseph Crackstone. Now, he believed that with a happy heart and an open ear, there was nothing our town couldn't achieve. So together as one, our community and our friends at Nevermore Academy, we've built a monument to celebrate his memory. Now, may the spirit of Joseph Crackstone be memorialized for eternity.” She says as they reveal the Statue of Crackstone, which begins to flow water.

The band begins playing of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac and the crowd cheers, but (Y/n) was still miffed by his loss of possibly wooing Enid.

The crowd cheers, but their cheers quickly turn to horror as an explosion bellows from the statue, it seems someone swapped the water with gasoline, and all it took was a single match. Screams, terror, fear rang though the center, but what truly took the eye of most was the hellish screeches of an electric guitar, and a cello, as the twins play a harrowing version of Vivaldi's "Winter" as the guitars strings bellow though the area, the cellos haunting dreary tone perfectly compliments the guitar, but Weems wasn’t enjoying it.

“That was a disaster. The mayor is furious!

I've lost count of the angry phone calls, emails, and people in the town, alumni and parents. They want answers and so do I.” Weems says with such vitriolic rage at the twins sitting at the office.

“I would lead the inquisition, but I left my thumbscrews and rack at home.” Wednesday said.

“Miss Addams... you're already on thin ice.

Wafer-thin ice.”

“I swear Principal, our hands are clean.”

“What happened to you Mister Addams? You weren’t like this until your sister darkens our dorms.” She says, which changes his mood, maybe he was going back to his old ways. Weems turns to Wednesday.

“I may not have hard evidence, but I see you.

You're a trouble magnet.”

“If trouble means standing up to lies, decades of discrimination, centuries of treating outcasts like second-class citizens or worse...”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jericho.” (Y/n) cuts Weems off

“Why does this town even have an Outreach Day? Don't you know its real history with outcasts? The actual story of Joseph Crackstone and his hatred for Us?”

“I do…To an extent.” Weems says.

“Then why be complicit in its cover up? Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” Wednesday chimes in.

“That's where you and I differ. Where you see doom, I see opportunity. Maybe this is a chance to rewrite the wrongs, to start a new chapter in the normie-outcast relations.”

“Nothing has changed since Crackstone. They still hate us. Only now they sugarcoat it with platitudes and smiles. If you're unwilling to fight for truth...”

“You don't think I want the truth? Of course I do. But the world isn't always black and white.

There are shades of gray.”

“Maybe for you. But it's either they write our story or we do, history isn’t written by those who are right, it’s by those who survive.” He says, weems Just sighs.

“You two are exhausting.”

“We know.”

“Goodnight, Minster and Miss Addams. But know, I don’t tire easily.” She says with the last foreboding warning, the twins leave the office and head back to their dorm. A but silent between each other, Wednesday was typing upon her typewriter, and Enid shows off a few outfits.

“Too much?”

“I feel like you just napalmed me, Enid.” Wednesday says.

“So glad I have my date with Ajax tonight.

Get my mind off that trainwreck of an afternoon. I literally think I have PTSD. I didn't even get to do my dance routine.” Enid says.

“What a tragedy— wait Date?” Wednesday asks.

“What kind of twisted psycho would want to sabotage such a life-affirming event?” Enid says, Wednesday ponders for a moment, and looks a bit saddened. He brother truly does care for her.

“…You're going to be late.”

“Wish me luck.” Enid says with a giggle and leaves. Meanwhile (Y/n) stands at the window, staring out into the moon, sighing solemnly as his eyes reflect the full moon.

“I don't believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings, but most of all... I don't believe in coincidences. To paraphrase Agatha Christie, one coincidence is just a coincidence, two are a clue...and three are proof. Rowan's drawing of me and Crackstone happens sometime in the future. Goody Addams' warnings about Crackstone were in the past. And the monster is here in the present. Three coincidences that I know are connected. That monster could be anyone. The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school. The truth is, there are monsters everywhere. And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous. They don't need teeth and claws to terrify. They hide in the shadows until no one is looking. And then they strike. But I'm looking now. And I won't stop until I find the truth.

[cheese-ception]

The Gift

A very belated fluffy gift to my sweet friend Pandi! I hope you like it, my dear ♡ beta and all that good stuff by @masamune-archive sugar-free tags for @tsubaki3192​ and @spanish-aguacate​ - feel free to add them to your diet, bbys pairing: Leviathan (Obey Me!) x fem!MC warnings: none  word count: 1639 

The cafeteria was loud as always, laughter and shrill shrieks of the lesser demons cutting harshly through the air. The smell of grease hung amidst it all, causing Leviathan to scrunch his nose in disapproval. He stood in the line for what felt like eternity, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, reaching for his DDD frequently, only to be met by a complete lack of notifications. He shoved it back into his pocket, disgruntled but not surprised. After all, why would the normie text him when his brothers offered much better forms of entertainment than he ever could. He was just a lame nerd and aside of Henry nobody would want to be with him willingly.

The dark spiral of his insecurities came to a halt upon overhearing a nearby conversation. Why did they even have to be so loud, geeze... But he heard the human's name and curiosity overthrew any of his initial annoyance, his focus now fully on paying closer attention to the chat as it went on.

“And then she tried to ask if she could pay next time, because she spent all her grimm on some weeby collectible or some shit, haha! What a joke!'

Punctuating his speech by a slap across the ass of the succubus on his arm, the lesser demon laughed as his little story came to an end. The venom in his tone, aimed towards the human, set Levi off more than the any of the words themselves, causing his horns to sprout from his temples without him even realising.

Soon he was looming over the offender, the dangerous glint in his amber eyes leaving no doubt that he was indeed infuriated beyond what could be fixed by simple apologies. His clawed hand grabbed the demon's collar, lifting him into the air with unexpected ease, anger fuelling his actions with strength that surprised not only him, but all the nearby bystanders alike.

Levi was known to mostly keep to himself, but he was a high-ranking demon after all and despite his usual reclusive demeanour and calm visage, he was not to be trifled with. After a short interrogation for more details he tossed the lesser demon aside and strode out, tail swishing behind him in erratic sweeps, unable to calm down until he found out more.

He spent hours searching for the human, but to no avail. She was nowhere to be found and he was certain that he looked everywhere. His legs ached and his chest hurt, worn out by so much unexpected exercise. He wasn't used to being out of his room so much after all and it already took all of his resolve not to just go back in there to chase it all away by gaming or venting out on the forums. Sheer anger was still filling him to the brim, almost as if he wasn't the avatar of envy but of wrath instead.

He felt a faint stabbing sensation and he was almost certain it was fear, illogical as that would be. Why would he be afraid, really? Because something could have happened to her? Why did he even care so much, when surely it was one-sided? Giving up the search at last, he decided to head in, shoulders slumping down in defeat, his demon form finally dissipating as the rage inside him began to subside, replaced by the usual void and self-doubt.

As if he was even good enough to find her if she did not want to be found.

It was all pointless.

He did not bother turning on the lights, leaving the room lit only by Henry's tank, to help mask his shame. Levi headed towards his tub, shedding his coat and hoodie off, ready to submerge himself in the calming water.

He reached for the faucet, just about to turn it on, but decided to check the tub just in case he forgot anything inside, only to freeze immediately.

A tuft of auburn hair peeked from beneath his favourite blanket, the very human he spent all this time searching for wrapped in it, breathing lightly in her restless sleep. Leviathan yelped, clasping his hands over his mouth much too late to prevent the sound from escaping him and she jumped awake, bumping into his chin painfully, almost causing him to raise his voice again.

This time he managed to keep it in, blush tinting his cheeks at her sudden proximity, but trying to appear collected as he steadied her with his hands on each of her shoulders.

“Oh, Levi! You are home!” she exclaimed, still too dazed to realize how inappropriate this all was. She reached out to hug him, only then finally snapping out of it as she leaned away from him, her back against the side of the tub.

“W..what is going on with you? I looked for you everywhere! You didn't even eat lunch and it's so already so late we missed dinner too-”

A loud growl interrupted his chastising speech and he gripped at his stomach in a somewhat comical attempt to stop it from making even more noise.

She giggled, a sound so sweet to him that it made him freeze again, his gaze dropping away from her as shyness overtook his previous attempts at reprimanding her for her foolish actions.

“How did you know?”

“How did I know what?” he retorted, titling his head sideways and stealing a quick glance at her dishevelled form.

“That I did not have lunch. You just said it, but I do not remember telling you about it and it is not like you ever go to the cafeteria yourself. It's much too loud there for you, is it not?”

She wasn’t mocking him. She actually sounded like she cared enough to remember that about him, that he really did not like it there because of all the ruckus. But that was not important now, surely... Or was it? “Well, I went today, because they had the rainbow pizza special, and some idiots there were talking about you not being able to afford the meal-”

Leviathan's pupils widened and he nearly bit his tongue, interrupted by her hand pressed against his lips, making him unable to carry on talking.

She kept it there, reaching over the side of the tub with the other, flustered enough that the tips of her ears were dusted in a light shade of red.

He stared at her in a mix of shock and awe, quiet even after she removed her hand from him, placing it on the top of a neatly wrapped package with a blue ribbon on it, pushing it against his chest hastily.

“Don't say anything else, just open it!” she uttered, gazing at him expectantly while he held the box in his arms, puzzled and taken aback by the intensity of her stare.

He obeyed her request, carefully unwrapping the ribbon and the wrapping paper to reveal the case underneath, fingers shaking slightly as he went.

It was a gilded display package adorned by intricate engravings, beautifully sculpted golden-plated leaves of ivy coiling around the long-sold out extra rare limited edition Ruri-chan figurine that he was after for as long as he could remember, yet never able to get it.

Now it was right there, in his very hands and he had to look twice to make sure he was not just imagining it, his throat tight and heart threatening to jump right out his rib-cage.

He blinked several times, pushing away the tears in the corners of his eyes, unable to speak for a solid few moments, simply staring at the gift in front of him.

“Y..you got this, for me?” he stammered out, his voice coming out so high-pitched he immediately regretted trusting himself to talk while still in shock, a fierce blush burning on his face like fire.

Cupping his cheeks, she gazed at him lovingly and nodded, the sight of it alone making him gasp softly and he was unable to hold his tears back any further.

Setting the box aside carefully, he climbed into the tub, pulling her into a hug, hesitant fingers brushing though her hair as she snuggled up against him, warm and delicate and...

His. Leviathan exhaled, adjusting his position slightly, allowing his digits to brush against her jawline, a touch so fleeting yet so filled with all the repressed emotions he has been harbouring for her for longer than he cared to admit.

“That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, but could you maybe promise me something?” His brows furrowed slightly as he asked, anxiety seeping into his thoughts once more before he even dared to follow up with the actual question.

“I am not one to make promises without even knowing what they're about, Levi. What would you have me do?” she chirped merrily, pleased with his reaction to the gift.

He swallowed, taking a few calming breaths before mustering up the courage to reply, biting into his lower lip a few times for the good measure.

“You'll have your lunch with me from now on, I can't very well have you skipping meals with a good conscience, even if it is for something this cool...” he trailed off, unsure if this would be something she would be willing to say yes to, clinging onto the faint hope that she might.

Crystalline laughter filled the room and she hugged him tighter, sliding her fingers between his as if it was the most natural thing ever.

“Sounds good! It's a date then!”

He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo, pleasantly overwhelmed by a powerful wave of happiness, a joy so absolute he could barely believe it. Her last sentence an even better gift than Ruri-chan herself.

It's a date then!

________ Masterlist

[maddiethebull]

Lucifer (Obey Me!) - Prompt #14 - “Please, don’t be scared.”

Lucifer’s ears perked up to the sound of clattering dishes, he turned around to see you. You were shivering, eyes wide open, and daring not to move, you were terrified. His eyes open wide as he realizes what you just saw him do. You just watched as he mercilessly punished a demon for treason against Diavlo, he terminated the demon. You knew it was a thing that happened, but you never expected it to look like that. You saw as each molecule was decimated, it was a horrifying sight. He frantically reached out for you, 

“MC, what are you doing here? I-”

You stayed as you were, rigid as ice. Time moved in slow motion. You saw his lips move but the pounding of your heart and the voice of the now gone demon pleading for his life was all you could hear. You dropped the tray you were holding only by one hand. Stepping over the broken ceramic cups askew on the floor, you ran away. You were only supposed to be helping Lucifer and Diavlo arrange for the school dance coming up, but you were told to take a break. You made tea for Lucifer, thinking to surprise him, why did you have to make that tea? Why did you have to come along today? Why did this have to happen? As you grasped for ways to make sense of the situation, you felt the tears streaming down your face, you could taste the salt as they fell upon your lips. Your heart was beating out of your chest. You couldn’t stop running. You didn’t even know where you were going but you had to get away from there. 

Lucifer stood still, frozen in the horrific realization. He looked at his hands as he thought of the look on your face. You were so pale, you trembled at his gaze, you were so terrified of him.  

You ran all the way to the House of Lamentation, you were panting and gasping for air as you trailed up the pathway to the building and then it all went blank, you fell to the ground, unconscious. It was only moments later that Satan had gone out to get some groceries since he was on cooking duty that day and when he opened the door to see you lying there, motionless, he dropped everything he was holding and carefully picked you up. He cradled your head in the crook of his elbow. His heart was beating a million miles an hour, he had no idea what happened but when he saw that you were breathing, his nerves were slightly calmed. He laid you down on the chaise lounge in his bedroom and tended to you, making sure you didn’t stop breathing and so he would be there when you woke up. 

When you finally did come to, you were completely dazed as Satan rushed to your side with a glass of water. 

“MC, what the hell happened? Are you okay??? ”

You groggily looked up at him, took the water from his hand and started chugging it. You hadn’t realized how thirsty all of that running made you. ‘Running?... Running. Fuck.’ you remembered how you got to this present moment and told Satan all about it.  After hearing everything, he was immediately torn up with rage. How could Lucifer be so stupid? How did he not fucking notice you?? He stomped around the room, he turned to look at you, you laid there silent. Seeing the full capacity of what a demon can do, he realized that he began to scare you too. He saw the way you were looking at him and  threw his head down in shame, 

An exhausted sigh came from his lips, “What matters is that you’re okay… I didn’t mean to get worked up.” He walked over to you, he gently laid his head on your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that, MC.” He nuzzled his head into you, “I’m so sorry.”

He slowly breathed, taking in your scent. He felt so conflicted. Satan cared for you a great deal, more than he let on, and more than he wanted to. Everything about you captivated him. Pain writhed in his chest, he knew that you two would never be, but he would never leave you in your times of anguish, he loved you too much to do that. He would stay silent about his feelings, knowing that your heart had already been given to Lucifer. 

The thoughts he had been rummaging through were interrupted by Levi shouting from the kitchen.

“Hey, dinner’s ready, normies!”

Satan looked to you. You looked more calm than before, but he still didn’t know if it was a good idea that you have dinner with all of the brothers that night. You breathed in and out deeply to calm yourself down. The information had sunk in, though you were still scared of him, you didn’t want to remove more building blocks from the jenga tower that was your friendship/feelings for Lucifer. 

You put your hand on Satan’s shoulder, reassuringly saying, 

“I’ll be fine, I just need your help and I’ll be alright.” Hearing you say you needed him once again brought up his confusing feelings for you, but he pushed them to the back of his mind and stored them away in a steel safe. He told himself that your well-being was the only thing he cared about right now. Telling this half lie to himself worked enough, so he took your hand and led you to the dining room, asking once or twice in that short walk if you were really sure this was a good idea. 

At dinner you were hardly relaxed. You sat as far away from Lucifer as you could. Satan held your hand under the table; he leaned over and whispered to you, 

“Hey, it’s okay.”

‘No it’s not. How could things be okay?’ you thought. You were terrified of getting close to Lucifer and you hated it with all your being. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, but a feeling rang out deep down that there was always the possibility of him doing so. How could you be so suspicious of someone you had fallen in love with so deeply? The memories of him flashed through your mind, the first thing you thought about was when you came down with a bad cold and Lucifer stayed at your side for nearly every second of it, nursing you and making sure you felt okay. Then you remembered when you got the chance to see him play for you on the piano, it was so beautiful it brought you to tears. You remembered how he wiped those tears from your face so softly with his thumb. That memory was embedded into your mind like a movie scene, you weren’t sure if it was your imagination that added the sunset glinting in his eyes, but that was still to be the image in your head every time you recalled that night. You ate quickly, not releasing your gaze from the plate of food in front of you. 

Beel, through a mouthful of food, asked, “hey can you pass me the salt?”

Lucifer’s hand reached out to the middle of the table and you jumped in your chair. You had flinched so hard that everyone noticed and now everyone but Lucifer and Satan stared at you in confusion. Lucifer quickly retracted his hand and struggled to keep a calm face as the feelings of sadness rushed in like a flood. Looking around, slightly panicked and not knowing what to say, you simply got up. But you couldn’t leave without an explanation, that would have alerted the other brothers to the fact that there was an issue so you said,

“I-I’m not feeling that good today, so I think I’ll just stay in my room for the night. Excuse me.”

You couldn’t see as you turned to go to leave, but Lucifer was on the brink of tears, caused by anger at himself and sorrow for you. He’d spent so much time building a relationship with you. He remembered the first time you went into his office, he remembered how you looked so curious to know him. You would talk about the paintings on his walls, you would clumsily play the grand piano that sat in the corner, you would… you would bring him tea every now and then. Thinking that he could never have more of those little moments of joy, those moments that reminded him what heaven was like, it tore him to shreds. With his head in his hands, he gripped hard on his hair and grimaced at the thought of his carelessness earlier that day. 

The room’s atmosphere was thick and downcast. Satan slammed his hands on the table and rushed after you, not soon after, Lucifer left as well. In the hallway leading to your room, a fierce grip on Satan’s wrist stopped him in his tracks. 

“Just what do you think you are doing?” Anger had briefly overtaken the sadness Lucifer felt. 

Satan scoffed, and with a dangerous growl in his voice, said, “I’m going to help MC.” 

The tension between them was almost tangible. The blazing anger in their eyes could set a house on fire. Satan angrily yanked his arm back to his side. 

Lucifer with an unrelenting anger in his gaze said, “I suggest you stay out of this matter before you make me do something I’ll regret.”

A sadistic laugh fell off of Satan’s lips, “regret, huh? Do you even feel regret? Do you feel regret for what you did to MC? Do you fucking know how idiotic it was of you to just terminate a demon in the same building as her? Are you that fucking stupid, Lucifer?”

The anger in Lucifer’s eyes dripped into despair as Satan sighed at the lack of an answer and made his way to your room, knocking gently and being let in. Lucifer’s heart broke at the sight of it. That was when the second most powerful demon in Devildom fell to his knees and began to weep for a mere human being. If he didn’t have you, then what was his pride worth? Getting close to you was the action he had the most pride for. He saw in black and white until you rushed in and gave him a technicolor kaleidoscope to see the world through and it had fallen through his fingers like sand. The only sound in that desolate feeling hallway was him muttering through his tears, 

“Please, don't be scared. Don’t be scared of me.”

A couple days had passed and the entire time Lucifer had been holed up in his room. He couldn’t bear to face you. He could barely take the waves of regret crashing into him at every turn. 

On the fourth day, you slipped a note under his door, by Satan’s suggestion, in hopes that it would get him to emerge. The note read, 

“Hey, I know that things are a little weird between us, but please don’t leave me like this. Let’s talk, okay?”

On the bottom of the note you put two boxes, one to check okay and one to check I don’t want to. You stayed by his bedroom door for hours, you even fell asleep. These past few days had really tired you out. All of the thoughts about termination and life and death and duties and decisions were carefully mulled over until, with help from all of the brothers, endless snacks provided by Beel, endless movie selections provided by Levi, light hearted antics with Mammon, some needed napping along with Belphie, kind words from Asmodeus, and constant support from Satan, you began to accept what you had seen and feel like you were once again at home. You weren’t fully okay yet, it would take some time, but you wanted to begin rebuilding what you had with Lucifer, because it was too precious to you or him to let fade away into nothing. Sleeping by his door, you dreamt of the time you and Lucifer danced together, the way he looked at you when he asked, “may I have this dance?” made you feel like a princess then and now. While you were whisked away onto clouds in your dreams, a small piece of paper popped out from under the door. On the bottom, a box was checked, a box that read, “okay.” 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey ya’ll! I wanna ask for your feedback on my writing, i.e. do I use the word ‘thing’ too much or if I spend too much space on dialogue, general things like that. Nothing against anyone if you have criticisms, just be honest and let me know! :)

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Women in SPN—Is it Really That Bad?

TL;DR: Somewhat, yeah, it kinda is.

This is going to be a series of long ones, people.

Before I jump head first into this giant vat of weird toxic shit, let me say something:

The thing about most of the female characters is that on their own? They’re perfectly fine, ranging from serviceable to the occasional flash of thematic brilliance. Barely any of them qualify as “this is hateful on its face and incompetent regardless of context and the writers should feel bad for ever conceiving of it”, i.e. the normie benchmark for justified criticism. It’s only when you put these characters next to each other that a worrying pattern emerges;

Although discussions about sexism in the media were very much a thing in the mid-2000s, as well as shows with characters whose primary role wasn’t to serve a man’s needs, I can’t honestly claim that the flaws of SPN are out of the norm for its time; and

The first few seasons could really do with a PSA at the start of each episode, something along the lines of “A part of the reason why female characters are killed off or written out with such regularity is rabid superfans who couldn’t abide anything with tits brushing against J2, srsly, the writing team and the 2000s’ fan base were a match made in hell, except it wasn’t the writers who couldn’t do with bitching on their LiveJournals about the gall of women to exist in the show, choosing instead to harass the creators and actresses and wives and call them every sexist insult under the sun AND I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CESSPIT AS DISGUSTING AND NUKEWORTHY AS THE SPN FANDO—“

Anyway.

SPN has a legacy (as a posterchild for not knowing when to bow out gracefully, but legacy nonetheless) and isn’t watched in 2005 but in the year of our Lord Today. Meaning that as time goes by, the issues surrounding the show’s production retreat into the background and only what’s on the screen remains, to be judged on its own merits.

So let’s run down a list of the more noteworthy and relevant female characters of the first arc, focusing on their characterization, role in the narrative, and end. In the conclusion to this series of posts, the sum of characters will be analyzed as a whole to see if there are any unique tendencies in the show’s handling of women as opposed to that of men. I’ll do this for the original five seasons as the recent finale went out of its way to say that nothing after season 5 was strictly speaking necessary so why bother.

(Also because I died of frustration in season 8 and vowed not to subject myself to any more of the post-apocalypse fanfic era)

Angels, while strictly speaking genderless clouds of energy, will be classified as men or women depending on the apparent gender of the vessel they spend most of the time riding. The same goes for demons where I also take into account their stated gender while they were alive. That’s because although beings like Meg, Ruby, Anna, or Lilith can’t technically be considered women in the show’s present day, their consistent preference for conventionally attractive and/or female vessels throughout the original arc makes claims of genderlessness essentially meaningless. For all intents and purposes, we’re watching girls and women on screen.

Baby—the only true NB of the first run

All right, time to jump.

Say hi to our ladies!

Mary Winchester

Killed in the very first scene to give the story a reason to exist, she remains an active presence throughout the first arc where she has a wide-reaching influence on the plot and characters, driving the conflict on several levels. Fleshed-out more and more with each appearance to be more than just “the dead mom”, she’s portrayed as protective, pro-active, capable, and assertive, mirroring the duo’s desire for normal life and their inability to have it. Her story comes full-circle in season 5 when the personal tragedy of her fate is embedded in the wider tragedy of the Winchester family curse and the overall theme of destiny.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major

On her own: Textbook example of fridging… and that tropes aren’t bad in and of themselves.

Jessica Moore

Comparatively, if anyone doubts fridging can evolve into something meaningful, Jess drives the point home by having no personality and no point but to prop up her boyfriend before she ends up pinned to the ceiling, the reveal of which is the most interesting thing about her entire existence. At best she’s a symbol of Sam’s civilian life, at worst an obstacle to be removed for the story to happen.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major in terms of manpain, non-existent otherwise

On her own: A cardboard cut-out, barely qualifies as a character

Missouri Moseley

A psychic and the primary reason why John Winchester even knows to wipe his ass. Appears once over the course of the first arc yet everyone wants her to come back years later—that’s how awesome she is. Has this fantastic trait of being compassionate and empathetic while not taking a single speck of shit from anyone, especially when it comes from the two main dumbos who might just as well have been raised in a barn. Is very particular about the pristine state of her coffee table.

Status: Alive as of s5, killed in s13 (wait, what?)

Importance: Major…ly wasted potential

On her own: As strong a character as Bobby Singer, and as worthy of being elevated to the main cast.

Lori Sorensen

The writers can’t figure out why anyone in the universe would care about Jess either so they insert an intentionally awkward romance subplot to convince people the time’s not yet ripe for Sam to stop grieving and start slaying. The result’s… erm… well, awkward. Lori’s naïve, sheltered, devout though accepting of her non-repressed friend, and sort of on a religious crossroads because of her hypocritical preacher father. I guess the virginal power of her virginal virginity does… something in the plot? Primarily a vehicle for Sam to mark the stages of his moving on.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: A bit done. Like a bit lot. Like a “could be a trope namer” bit lot.

Meg

Boom, baby!

Arguably the chief antagonist of season 1 and one of the best things about it. The first one to point out the pervasive toxicity of the Winchester family business, so props for perceptiveness. Possesses the standard qualities of a lower-level henchman—manipulative, no-nonsense, and quietly sinister which, while not exactly groundbreaking, sets her apart from the other bad guys in the season as they tend to have no distinguishing characteristics at all. Plus Nicki Aycox makes the role seem more unique and “lived-in” by projecting a sense of understated amusement at the two main chucklefucks. Is one of S1’s turning points in blurring the lines between monsters and humanity. Has a face transplant twice—once to have revenge (good on her) and the other time to pursue someone else’s goals again before getting stomped into the ground like a mook.

Status: Alive as of s5 (?), killed in s8

Importance: Major

On her own: The actresses do most of the heavy lifting. Which doesn’t mean I don’t love watching the character burst onto the scene and announcing the end of the Winchester brand of bullshit.

Layla Rourke

A terminal cancer patient in a religious cult, she’s a more mature take on a Lori-type character and the themes of faith and doubt. Serves as a conduit for Dean’s budding survivor guilt, self-loathing, and sense of worthlessness. Is kind and cheerful, with strong hints that she’s relying on forced optimism to get through the days; also understanding of the circumstances of others while realistically freaked about the possibility of death. Weirdly, she enters the episode already in a state of acceptance and leaves it just as accepting when it’s confirmed that yeah, she’ll die soon. All expressions of anger at the injustice and senselessness are left to her mother which somewhat undermines the “struggling” portion of Layla’s character and renders the final scene where she makes peace with her fate a bit hollow.

Status: Implied dead

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Dean’s development

On her own: I want to like her, I really do, just… if only she were allowed to get pissed, once.

Cassie Robinson

Dean’s ex and that’s pretty much all there is to her. I struggle to pinpoint a single personality trait of hers—the 2000s idea of a “strong woman” and “not like other girls”, perhaps? Undermined as a love interest because TPTB don’t show the happy or any parts of her relationship with Dean so really, why should anyone care if two sniping assholes with little to no chemistry get back together? Memorable for being in a horribly scored softcore scene which YouTube tries to convince me lasts for shy over a minute, not the week I remember it to. Involved in the show’s first and last attempt at incorporating the issue of anti-black racism.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: She’s in the racist truck episode. ‘Nuff said.

Sarah Blake

A sophisticated people-person conversationalist with a love of high art and a deep sense of introspection. Ascends to the state of godhood by being able to pull off pigtails while adult. Bonds with Sam over responding to loss by crawling into a shell but deciding to move on. Doesn’t care for your fancy schmancy fine dining, Romeo. Isn’t ashamed to openly talk feelings which includes her explicitly asking Sam if they have a thing going on (honestly, this is such a breath of fresh air for a normcore romance). Despite being scared out of her wits, she refuses to be shoved into the helpless civilian box after learning about the existence of the supernatural; Dean creates a Pinterest wedding board in response.

Status: Alive as of s5, pointlessly dragged back to be murdered in s8

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Sam’s development

On her own: A great love interest that has enough writing behind her to fool you into thinking she’s something more.

Up next, whenever I feel like it, seasons 2 and 3!

[breadknight-likes-things]

Game Journal 04/13/20: The Brilliant “Happy Birthday” Puzzle Is One Of The Very Best Moments Of Resident Evil 7, Twice.

Just about two thirds of the way through Resident Evil 7, you solve the “Happy Birthday” puzzle and die horribly as a result, 30 or so minutes later, you’re placed back in the same situation.  Okay, so I left out a key detail, “Happy Birthday” isn’t some trial and error puzzle with a devastatingly long run back after reloading, it’s an exceedingly clever use of the games running utilization of the VHS tape clues that you’ve used a couple times prior to this.  The first time you solve this puzzle, you aren’t Ethan “The Ultimate Normie” Winters at all, rather, you’re yet again Clancy, the poor Sewer Gator cameraman, forced into a hellish puzzle and, somewhat inexplicably, still carrying around your tv studio grade camera. To make a long story short, the puzzle is rigged.  It isn’t immediately obvious what you need to do, it’s still a puzzle after all, but there’s no way for Clancy (and, for a first time player who isn’t simply cheating, the player themselves) to make it out of the “Happy Birthday” puzzle with his life.  Sure you can solve the different parts of the puzzle, and successfully fulfill the simple solution (all you have to do is place a single candle on a birthday cake) but no matter what, because of the way the steps of the puzzle are designed, Clancy is going to die the moment he solves it.

This place looks...familiar? 

Lucky, again, that Ethan isn’t Clancy, but thanks to the tape, knows what Clancy did.  Before this, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the concept of “Sequence Breaking” (Purposefully doing something in a game out of order to save time or gain progress through what’s usually a glitch) actually feature in a game as the only real way to solve the problem in front of you.  It is very possible for Ethan to take the same route as Clancy, and much like him end up dead, but you the player (and by extension Ethan the character) now know’s what leads you to that untimely end, so you know to avoid it.  For instance, we know that removing the crank from the barrel will cause the oil to spill out, so lets never remove the crank.  Thanks the grisly password we saw carved into Clancy’s arm, we know full well what the padlock combo is to begin with.  In fact, you don’t even need to solve over half of this puzzle with the information you bring in with you. It’s immensely satisfying to place that candle on the cake at the end of “Happy Birthday”.  You know, Ethan knows, and best of all Lucas Baker knows, that you broke the puzzle and outsmarted the maniac who underestimated you.  Lucas has spent the entire section he features in laughing at and taunting Ethan, totally unaware that his own hubris in not doing something as simple as changing a padlock code is about to be his undoing.  RE7 is full of great small moments, but I genuinely believe that there’s not a better one in the games entire run time, than the “Happy Birthday” puzzle.  (And frankly, I don’t even like puzzles!)

Random Screenshot Of The Day: 

Someone on the RE7 Team is a ridiculously big fan of the SAW franchise, that’s all I’m saying.

Stray Game Notes:

- To be honest, I don’t have much in the way of stray notes today, but I’ll jot down the one I have below this. - I played The Elder Scrolls Online with my best friend today, I got way cooler stuff out of a promo lootbox we were both given, she is extremely jealous.  It’s hilarious. 

[hjazysol]

Zero & his legion of villains were making their way through the dusk air of the night. Onward to visit Tomura Shigiraki & his League of Villains.

Dark Matter Swordsman: Sir with all due respect I see not for why we must..."Meet" with these inferior beings in comparison to one such as yourself. What would they gain with your knowledge?

Necrodeus: Surely you of all people should know the answer to that Swordsman.

Dark Matter Swordsman: Hmm...Yes while true that them being allies would prove affective. To me it is seemingly pointless. Remind me what were Shigiraki's motives again?

Miracle Matter: If I remember correctly it is to get rid of annoying heroes.

Dark Matter Swordsman: ... ...

Miracle Matter: ... ...What?

Dark Matter Swordsman: And?

Miracle Matter: And what!?

Dark Matter Swordsman: That's all he wants?! You see the boy has zero motives whatsoever--

Zero: Silence yourself Dark Matter.

Dark Matter Swordsman: Apologies lord.

Zero: We are doing them nothing more but the pleasure of assuring they can actually accomplish something.

Dark Matter Swordsman: Yes lord. Forgive me lord.

Zero: Now that that's out of the way. We have arrived it would seem.

Dark Nebula: This place looks worse than an alleyway.

Miracle Matter: Nah. I'd say it looks more like your room.

Dark Nebula: Yeah-- HEY!!!

________

Shigiraki: ... ...Where are they? They should've gotten here by now.

Dabi: Probably figured it'd be a waste of there time.

Toga: They probably got lost.

Twice: Pfft! Whatever screw those freaky assholes!

Zero, appears behind him: Freaks you say?

Twice: EEP!

Zero: Please. Tell me more.

Twice: Well you see my friend I was merely explaining how successful you are able to freak out the people who no sorry "whom", I may be a villain but tarnishing english is a true crime. Whom you threaten with their lives at stake.

Zero: Better than the answer leading straight to death at least I suppose.

Twice: Haha yeah death is fun. *Screams in fear internally*

Dark Matter Swordsman: Now. Kneel before our lord.

Shigiraki: Excuse me? In case you've forgotten I'm in charge in here.

Dark Matter Swordsman: Hmm. It would seem he refuses to cooperate. Necrodeus?

Necrodeus, stepped forwards: (Clears...throat?) ...KNEEL BEFORE LORD ZERO!

Shigiraki then unwillingly fell to the floor on his knee.

Shigiraki: What the!?

Zero: Now it would appear that you are all focused on me. I would like to congratulate you.

Toga: On what?

Dark Matter Swordsman, unsheathing his sword: How dare you speak to our lord without his permission!

Zero: Relax swordsman I do not mind. I would like to congratulate you on how well you are... ... ...Dragging All for One's name of villainy through the mud, Tomura Shigiraki! You my friend are just as much of a disappointment as he is & always will be.

Shigiraki: What'd you say about my master!? You bastard!

Zero: Such vile useage of your tounge is not to be prohibited so for now to prevent you from talking. (He hit off Shigiraki's hand mask) I think I'll remove it. (He then crystallized a blade of blood then cut off Shigiraki's tounge)

Shigiraki: (Muffled screams of indescribable pain)

The other members of the League watched in terror of Zero's power.

Zero: Anyone else feel like, disrespecting me with such distasteful words?

Twice: ...BITCH NO! ... ...OH SHIT!? (Covers his mouth immediately)

Zero: Hahaha! It's ok. You keep your tounge. For I find your stupidity rather amusing.

Twice: You fool your giving him a bad impression of us! Hey I'm just doing what my brain tells me to. Well maybe your brain should tell you to stop being a jackass!

Dark Mind: Dear God he's delusional.

Zero: Anyway. Allow me to show you way to true villainy. Lay waste to the methods you once were taught by that worthless piece of filth All for One. He needn't worry no longer of your safety as long as you're in my possession all will go well.

Totsu, stepped into the room: Toga I found the boy you desired to meet.

Toga: Deku!?

Totsu: Nah second guy on the list some normie.

Zero: Ahh. The assassin.

Totsu: Hello my lord.

Dabi: Does everyone you know call you lord or what?

Zero: When you're the most evil thing ever you tend to know different villains. Anyway, if you would be as so kind, League of Villains, as to offer you allegiance to me Lord Zero. Then I may just consider letting you all in on how to improve your organisation schemes especially now that that wretched wrinkly thumb head All for One is out of the picture.

Dabi: Damn he's really takin jabs at the boss.

Zero: Don't get me wrong your efforts thus far are admirable ones at best.

Shigiraki: ("At least he's complimenting us now")

Zero: If admirable means letting a 16 year old I believe escape your range. How embarrassing. I've been in the villainy buisness for most my life. And not once have I failed. Every heroes power pales in comparison to mine.

Shigiraki: ("Bastard")

Zero: In order to know true evil potential one must have a motive a goal. Without one. Well your "Efforts" are immediately wasted. Aka your efforts. *Sighs* So Tomura? What'll it be? Continuing to chase around heroes with no other motive except I find them annoying or will you bury this hatchet & actually listen to what I have to say if you follow beside my lead. Totsu if you would be as so kind as to shake his hand.

Shigiraki, Held his hand out with his pinky tucked away. Totsu shook his hand, the hand shake then turned into Shigiraki getting his hand broken after Totsu started crushing Shigiraki's fingers to the point where they began gushing with blood.

Miracle Matter: Oh I love it when he does that trick.

Dark Nebula: Not when he does it to me.

Necrodeus: Well your an idiot and always fall for it.

Necrodeus: Shut up!

Shigiraki attempted disintegrating Tostsu's arm. But it failed.

Totsū: Sorry kid. That arm is immune & can't be affected by any manorism of quirk. Even one that take control.

Zero: What a good source of entertainment. Wouldn't you agree?

Dark Matter Swordsman: Of course my lord I found it rather humerous.

Zero: Now then. Whilst I teach you to be the best villain you can be. Your life from this point onward is going to become a living hell.

@hopeaterart