#normalise trigger warnings

[egotisticaleverything]

As an abuse survivor I don’t really care about how bad and romanticised It Ends With Us is I mainly care about the fact that there were no trigger warnings on the box and/or movie. I picked up that book at an air port a few years ago and ignoring the quite frankly terrible writing the content really triggered me and I was surprised there was no warning from the staff or book itself when I purchased it.

I was 14 when I picked that book up unknowingly right as I got out of a physically and mentally abusive relationship and it was not a good book for me to read while in that mental space. It was advertised to me as a RomCom and “Good queer representation” when the only queer characters was a predatory gay stereotype and letters addressed to Ellen DeGeneres.

I have no idea how people who go to see the movie are going to react when they walk into what the main actor had advertised as a “movie to see with your girls” just to be shown domestic abuse both mental and physical.

[kwinnieppang]

𝐈 𝐁𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 || Kim Da-yeon x Fem!Reader

I Bet You Are So Soaked || Kim Da-yeon (Pyramid Game)

Starring : Kim Da-yeon (Pyramid Game) x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You and Dayeon have been friends for a long time. You are Dayeon's most comfortable place, you could say that your relationship with Dayeon is more than just friends. Even though you're both women, the way Dayeon treats you is like a man. Pyramid Game is not an obstacle for Dayeon not to be with you. Only you can make Dayeon feel calm.

Warning : Fluff, Lesbian, NonVirgin! Reader, PWP, Smut (Oral!Reader receiving, Overstimulation!Reader, Pussydrunk!Dayeon, Dub-con ⟶ Con, Degrading), Typographical Error

Author's note: I'm not normalising the things that happen here in the real world, this is all just for stories and not for the real world! Stay safe for you all out there and I'm sorry if this story is triggering you!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You and Dayeon have been friends since childhood. You already know each other very well. Your parents also know each other. Dayeon's arrogant and stubborn nature has become your daily bread. You also can't deny that your family is slightly below the Dayeon family.

Wherever you go, Dayeon will always follow you.

You could say that you are a little bored with Dayeon. But, what else can I do?

Dayeon is the friend you can trust the most.

"How? You do still feel the pain?" You asked casually.

“Well…” Dayeon winced slightly in pain as you treated her.

Dayeon grew up in an abusive family.

All problems are solved by venting using violence, especially on Dayeon.

"I told you, don't do anything." You're nagging.

“I've been trying not to fight, ___. But, that old fart is the only one who is sensitive.” Dayeon grumbled.

You didn't respond, you just focused on treating Dayeon.

"Haha… ___."

You started to become suspicious of Dayeon's behaviour.

"What?" You stopped for a moment to look at Dayeon.

Dayeon brought her face closer to you.

“Want to drink wine with me?” Dayeon asked with a soft intonation.

"I don't like-"

"You have to try it, ___. If you don’t try it, how will you know if you don’t like it…?” Dayeon moved her index finger from ___'s chest towards ___'s stomach.

You could feel her amusement, you held Dayeon's hand.

“You are out of your mind.”

Dayeon pouted for a moment.

“Then… If you refuse…”

Dayeon grinned.

"I can drink your juice, right?" Dayeon asked with a grin.

You can't refuse Dayeon's request. Just say that you're afraid Dayeon is threatening you with terrible things. You know that in fact, Dayeon could go berserk at any time. You don't dare to fight Dayeon, you don't understand Dayeon very deeply. You don't feel like living with a family of bastards.

You took off your pants and underwear.

When you leaned against the edge of the bed, Dayeon positioned her head between your legs. Dayeon immediately grabbed both of your inner thighs and opened them wide. Dayeon licks your clit, playing around there. Makes you sigh and feel uncomfortable. Your body squirmed and shivered, you could feel your nipples harden under your shirt.

“Dayeon… Ahh… Don't play there…” You clenched your fists.

The cold floor of the room makes you even more carried away by the atmosphere.

“Uhm… I want you so wet…” Dayeon was still licking her clit.

“Haa… Ahh…!” Your body convulses.

Dayeon stopped.

Followed immediately by pulling your hips and sucking your already wet vagina.

“Ahh~! Uhm… No…” You covered your own mouth again.

You just remembered, there is someone else in your house.

“Ahh… Dayeon…” You moaned her name.

Dayeon keeps licking and sucking your pussy.

“Hmm… Ahh…”

Dayeon's tongue started to poke at your hole. Your clear liquid is getting more and more and it's all being sucked up by Dayeon. Until finally, you reach the point of enjoyment. You orgasmed and Dayeon stopped. Dayeon saw you trying to neutralise yourself.

Dayeon was very happy.

“I really like you.” Dayeon moved closer to you.

Dayeon hugged you and buried her face in your shoulder.

“Dayeon…”

“I wish I were a boy.” Dayeon whispered.

“Huh?”

“I want to make you mine, I… Like you.”

You were quite touched to hear her words, but you thought again.

‘I like you better if you are who you are now.’

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

In the end, you both entered as students of Baekyeon Girls High School. At first you thought that you would separate classes, but it turned out you didn't and you were still in the same class as Dayeon. The two of you are in class 2-5, a class that can be said to be special. Luckily, Dayeon is starting to get away from you. Dayeon made some new friends, and so did you.

“___, I have the latest information.” Dayeon sat next to you.

“Huh?” You're clearly confused.

“Do you like caste games? Me, Harin, and Doah will make a game about caste.” Dayeon smiled proudly.

“Ah, if it's just a game—”

"Listen first~ If you are in the highest position, you are free to do whatever you want! But, if you are at the bottom, you will be—”

“Bully?” You reply curtly.

Dayeon nodded, she didn't seem to understand the situation yet.

"How? Cool, right?" Dayeon smiled casually.

“It’s not cool, really.” You don't agree with Dayeon.

“Hey, if you're angry… You can take it out on the lowest ranked person…”

“That's not cool.”

Dayeon put her arm around you and poking your cheek.

“Hey, don't be like that... Ah, what's your opinion anyway? Not used either."

You were a little annoyed with Dayeon's behaviour, so you pushed Dayeon's hand away.

“That's enough for me. Whatever happens, I will follow the flow. If it really comes to that and i can't stand it... I'll leave."

“But, you will tell—”

"Don't interfere." You replied coldly.

This was the first time you were cold to Dayeon.

“___…? You… are just annoyed, right?” Dayeon asked doubtfully.

You ignored Dayeon and walked out of the classroom.

Now, you have other friends besides Dayeon. Lim Yerim and Sim Eunjung are your new friends. The differences in character and way of speaking between the two of them are very significant. Yerim tends to be friendly and sweet, while Eunjung tends to be cold and quiet. But, you think it's okay, humans are unique.

The Pyramid Game is still being implemented.

Although, you don't know whether the people around you agree to play the game or not.

You wonder why Dayeon can always be in A with Dayeon's new friends. You also felt a change in Dayeon's attitude. You thought maybe it was the Pyramid Game that put you in position C. Dayeon's attitude towards you also changed, she became more indifferent and arrogant. You don't care, you think it's normal.

"Isn't her family a bit unique?" You mumbled, talking or mocking Dayeon's family.

"___, What is it?" Yerim asked.

"I feel like burning down the house... But, I know... I can't do it." You wore a gloomy expression.

“On what basis do you want to burn down the house?” Eunjung asked.

You put your head on the table.

“Ahh~ I don't have any enthusiasm today…” You grumbled to yourself.

"Maybe she needs some time alone." Yerim said to Eunjung.

"Yeah, but there's no need to burn down the house." Eunjung replied.

“Why are you focused on burning down the house? ___ is just frustrated and just talking nonsense." Yerim said.

The day goes on, the game continues. But, you were never at grade F. Luckily, Eunjung and Yerim loyally chose you. For others, you don't know who chose you. At least, you're not in F and that makes you feel safe. Your ranking always goes up and down, B and C.

“Who voted for me…?” You always mumble like that after the game is over.

You've talked about this to Yerim and Eunjung.

“It would be good if you could equal B.” Yerim said.

“But, I was—”

“Ah— No, no!” Yerim shook her head while telling you to be quiet.

"What?"

“You survived F, for me that's enough. You get more votes, for me that's very good!” Yerim gave both thumbs up with a smile.

You looked at your cellphone which was vibrating because someone was calling.

"Who's that? Hm?” Yerim was curious.

You immediately refuse and your smartphone screen display returns to normal.

“No, no one.” You smiled back at Yerim.

You also started to reject calls from Dayeon.

A revenge would be nice, isn't it?

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“Why do you rarely answer my calls? Am I no longer important? Your behaviour has changed, ___.” Dayeon scolded.

You were talking to Dayeon on your cell phone.

“Stop it, Dayeon.” You reply wearily.

“Stop? Huh! Very funny. You don't like me? You don't care about me anymore, right? Yerim and Eunjung made you forget about me. Am I-"

“Don't try to hurt them, Dayeon-ah.” Your tone is very harsh.

"What's that?" Dayeon held back her laughter.

“You are the one who has changed. If you really want to remain friends with me, come to me. But, in fact it's not. You're noisy, I'll just turn it off.”

"Yah, ___! It is you-"

You end the one-sided conversation, you've had enough.

You think that this way, Dayeon won't bother you.

But, you are wrong.

Dayeon was already in front of your house and asked to come in. Of course, you forbid it. But, Dayeon wouldn't be if she wasn't stubborn. On the other hand, you are afraid that Dayeon will report strange things to her family and destroy your family. Reluctantly, you let Dayeon into your house.

"Very funny... In the past, you were very happy when I was around. Now, you are rejecting me.” Dayeon grinned.

“I am a typical person who is always changing. Whatever it is, my thoughts will always change from time to time. Including… People who are accepted and those who are not.” You explained flatly.

“Hm, that's exciting… Look at you, trying hard to look like me. Oh, are you maybe inspired by Doah?” Dayeon brought her face closer to you.

You just kept quiet while looking at her flatly.

“Then will Yerim and Eunjung be thrown away and I will be accepted back?” Dayeon asked with her confident nature.

"Who knows…"

Dayeon grinned.

"But, it could be that you will really be thrown away by me later." You continued.

Dayeon didn't accept the answer, she pushed until you were pinned against the wall.

“What did you say just now? Repeat."

“I'm not afraid of you, Dayeon. I'm just afraid for your family.”

“I could ruin your life right now.” Dayeon replied arrogantly.

“You are nothing but a schoolgirl—”

"Well-!"

“Self-awareness is important, Dayeon.”

Dayeon threw you to the floor and you collapsed.

“My dear dog seems to be getting cocky. I have to give her training.” Dayeon grinned.

The dog is you.

You just gave Dayeon the middle finger.

Without further ado, Dayeon removed your lower clothing. Dayeon also misses your juice. Your legs were spread wide and Dayeon's head was between them. Her tongue licks your wet pussy mercilessly. Makes your body limp and sensitive.

“Ahh~! Stop it! Haa…~!”

You grabbed Dayeon's hair.

Dayeon squeezed your thighs even more and pushed in opposite directions.

“Ahhh~! No, I don't want to be with you anymore..."

Inevitably, you orgasm.

But, Dayeon still wanted more.

"You said you didn't want to be with me anymore. But, in reality you are still wet with me."

You felt annoyed and grabbed Dayeon.

“You think it's funny? You are playing with my feelings!”

“Playing with what?”

“You think all that is funny? You walked away from me and ignored me. You only come if you need it! Oh, damn!” You cursed at Dayeon.

You pushed Dayeon away and put your clothes back on properly.

You intended to leave Dayeon, but she held you back.

"Wait a moment, ___!" Dayeon grabbed your wrist.

"What?"

"You are jealous?"

You are silent.

'Should I be honest or not? Will this be detrimental for me or not?’ You think.

“Yes, indeed I am jealous! Your crazy family is stressing you out and I should be your comfort place. But, you just go and have fun with the people who are in Grade F! Once you have friends who are the same frequency, you forget about me. Don't you remember anything we did together? You're crazy, Dayeon!”

"What?"

"If you really want to end our friendship, then just end it! But, don't ever look for me again!” You tried to let go of Dayeon's wrist.

"Yah!" Dayeon held you tighter.

"If you dare leave me, I will tell my father that you are a bastard."

You glared at Dayeon.

Dayeon hugs you tightly and smirks.

“Is it unclear? You are mine. Whatever it is, you are still mine. No one can take you from me.” She whispered.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Since that incident, your relationship with Dayeon has become more intense. It's quite a question, but you can answer it and give logical reasons. Especially with Yerim and Eunjung, you played a little fact with them. Your friendship with Yerim and Eunjung is still running smoothly. Now, you have to divide your time to be with your friends and for Dayeon.

Like now, you and Dayeon went to the warehouse during an empty hour or self study hour.

“Mmhhh…” You let your mouth be explored by Dayeon's tongue.

Dayeon's fingers also groped your womanhood.

“Ahh… Really, is this okay…?” You asked.

"Don't worry, it's free time."

Dayeon had an idea, she lay down on the floor.

"What are you doing…?" You asked in confusion, an innocent look.

“Take off your panties and sit on my face.”

You obeyed Dayeon and you sat on her face. You can feel Dayeon's tongue playing on your pussy. You could feel your clitoris being attacked by her tongue. Your hole is poked by Dayeon's tongue. Really, Dayeon's tongue makes you almost crazy.

“Ahh~! Your tongue… Ahh… Hmm… Dayeon… I'm going to cum…” You orgasm.

Dayeon grinned, he still continued licking your juice.

"Haa... Shh... What if the teacher knows...?"

"Just tell me the truth.

"Mmhh... What about your papa...?"

Dayeon stopped licking for a moment.

"Does he care about me?" Dayeon continued licking you.

“Ahh… It's okay, Dayeon… You… Nghh… Ahhh… Slow down…” You grabbed Dayeon's hair.

“Uhm…” Dayeon slurped up your juices that kept coming out.

“Let… Ahh~! I'm talking…! Ahh…”

Dayeon doesn't let you talk by continuing to attack your womanhood using her tongue.

“Ahhh~! Uhm… Dayeon… Enough…” You grabbed Dayeon's hair more roughly.

Dayeon ignores what you want. Dayeon instead grabbed and pulled your waist to keep sitting on her. Basically, Dayeon is addicted to you. Dayeon thinks it's okay, Dayeon thinks you need it. At least, your lust is also channelled.

You like it, right?”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The End

[kookidough]

analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !

tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!

also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case

okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot

so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap

there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)

i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"

similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart

moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)

so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here

before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm

the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped

mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later

its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !

howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information

not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)

and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously

okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in

i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way

the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge

we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt

sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot

hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3

[icallhimjoey]

To Have And To Scold

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It’s just that… you don’t really get along all that well, do you? At least, that’s what you think.

CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers, slooow burn, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader, eventual smut, talk of teenage!trauma (men are men and teenage girls are teenage girls) - nothing graphic, but, you know, a trigger warning feels right

Author’s note: new territory! fresh waters! my first ever part 6! wahhh!

Wordcount: 4.6K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue

Sudden loud voices, followed by the slam of a closing front door shocked you awake. Not enough for you to actually open your eyes, but enough to propel you back into consciousness where you learnt that, oh, whoops, you'd fallen asleep.

The voices that came from the hallway were quickly shushed by Mark, who moved up from the sofa and you felt his legs disappear from underneath your feet.

“What’s – oh, she’s asleep,”

Your shoulder ached from lying on it weird.

The talking turned into whispers and was followed by footsteps that moved into the kitchen. When you looked with a squinty eye, you saw the TV was still on, but had been muted.

You'd had dinner over at Mark's, and Poppy had gone out with Joe. That was always the way it was; you and Mark were people who stayed in wearing comfy outfits, had simple meals and enjoyed shitty TV together. Poppy and Joe would go out in shiny outfits to shiny restaurants where they had shiny meals, you were sure.

No drinks after, though. Not tonight. Tomorrow she had her appointment at a wedding boutique, and you'd been invited to come along as well. You and Poppy were friends, after all, and she valued your opinion when it came to wedding dresses over Joe's anyway.

It was dark out, and you tried remembering if it had already been dark before you'd drifted off as you stretched your arms up over your head.

You were so toasty warm underneath the throw blanket, you groaned at the prospect of having to put your shoes back on and go outside for the trek home.

A sudden noise jump-scared you, and you were quick to pull in both arms close to your chest as your head snapped to where it came from.

Joe was stood in the doorway.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you,"

"Oh my God," you spoke on an exhale, rubbed your face with both hands, and mentally cursed Joe for shocking you awake like he had.

Had he been stood there the whole time?

"Good morning?" you could hear him suppress a laugh, making fun of you as you sat up. Hair everywhere, sleep in your eyes and muscles all achy.

"It's night time," you corrected him dryly, not in the mood to play.

"Correction, it's not even 9, the evening's barely started."

Oh.

It felt like it was past midnight. But you shrugged, because it didn't really matter, and reached for one of your shoes that you pulled out from underneath the coffee table.

"Won't you... won't you have trouble getting to sleep later? Now that you've slept already?"

You frowned. Why was Joe trying to have a chat with you? Could he not go join Mark and Poppy in the kitchen and let you come back into your own body in some peace and quiet?

"I'll be fine," you pushed a foot into your second shoe. "I love a good nap."

A silence fell, and when you'd tied your shoe laces, you slapped your knees and took a deep breath. You looked at Joe who was still awkwardly hovering in the doorway, feet on the threshold, and you looked at him as if to ask, what do you want?

"Um, we... we came up with an idea," Joe started, scratching the back of his head.

"Small change of plans. We're turning the bridal shower into a wedding shower,"

You were glad that this was wedding-related, because it immediately normalised the conversation Joe was trying to have with you. You took a second to think it over, and then smiled an impressed smile at Joe.

"Well done," you nodded at him with your eyebrows raised. "Isn't that just a regular party, then?"

"Yea," Joe shrugged a little bashfully. "Pre-wedding party, everyone's invited, not just Poppy's guests,"

And no playing stupid bridal shower games, or stupid bridal shower activities... you were onto Joe. It was very clear that this was a way to minimize his workload and instead, just... drink.

Honestly, you didn't mind it.

"We thought it'd be nicer that way. Get everyone excited for the wedding,"

"No, yea... you're right. It probably will be nicer to have a normal party instead of playing the newly wed game, or some wild form of mad lips with their vows, or whatever,"

"Loo roll bride," Joe added.

"We could still do that, park Pop in the middle of the dance floor and dance around to wrap her up," you quipped, and got a huffed laugh out of Joe.

It was almost normal, until Joe's head turned and Mark's voice got into earshot. Joe immediately tensed up, you could see it in his shoulders, and you didn't understand why it offended you the way it did.

"Brilliant idea! We've managed to find a date that works for us," Mark said, revealing what they'd been up to, and it prompted Joe to step away to go and find Poppy.

Mark looked at you and turned on the ceiling light, washing the room in bright white. It made you flinch a little.

"Hey, twitchy-feet, you slept for nearly two hours,"

"I feel very well rested," you said, grinning at the nickname and getting up from the sofa.

"Kicked me several times,"

"You can take it,"

Finding your coat over the back of a chair, you slung it 'round and stuck one arm in after the other.

"You ready for tomorrow?" you called out loudly, and waited for a response from the kitchen.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Poppy called back.

"I was born ready," you grinned.

"No, you weren't," Mark said softly so only you could hear. "You were born five weeks premature, you–" you punched him in the arm as you stepped past him into the hallway.

"I'm so ready, I'll bring all of my opinions," you joked when you saw Poppy walk over, followed closely behind by Joe.

"Good, I'm going to need them."

"I'll bring mine too," Joe said, but earned an immediate scoff from his friend.

"No, leave those at home, you're just there for moral support. You need to tell me I look pretty in everything, and then I'll let the women be honest with me," Poppy said and you saw how they made eye-contact for a second.

It was wild how they looked in love when they locked eyes like that.

You snuck a quick glance at Mark to see if he noticed anything, but he had his phone out and you saw he had his agenda open, busy putting in when the wedding shower would be.

"I'm heading out," you broke their stare and all eyes turned to you.

"Me too," Joe said, and that immediately shot panic into your veins. You didn't need Joe walking you home again.

"Actually," Mark said, "I could use your help with something," And with a hand on his shoulder, Mark turned Joe back towards the kitchen.

"Bye," you called, and Mark waved a hand over his shoulder without looking back.

You didn't know if your face had given you away, if you'd been obvious about it, or if Mark had just sensed it within you, but you were grateful. Grateful you got to slip out of the house by yourself, void of any awkward embarrassing interaction with Joe. Just a small tiny wave for Poppy that got a bright smile of hers in return, and the door shut behind you.

Nice.

You could save all the tension for the next day. You just hoped it wouldn't get too weird. Tomorrow was going to be all about Poppy, anyhow. There wasn't going to be any room for Joe to be distant and weird with you.

At least, that's what you thought.

The next day, you all met up outside the boutique. Poppy, her mother, her auntie who doubled up as her godmother, and her daughter, Poppy's favourite cousin. And Joe. Of course, Joe was there too.

The six of you were sat down on one large sofa, everything pristine white, very clean, and obviously very expensive. You didn't sit next to Joe, even though out of everyone in Poppy's entourage you knew him best. It just, it was a little weird. In this group, you had known Poppy the shortest, and were only her friend by association. Originally, anyway.

After introductions to the bridal consultant of who you all were to Poppy, Poppy got whisked off fairly quickly to have a look at some dresses and to immediately try the first one on.

Waiting whilst she got dressed took ages.

Poppy's aunt and cousin took the time to look at dresses in the storefront, to see if they could find ones they thought would look good on Poppy. Joe buried himself in his phone, which was interesting, because you knew he wasn't on social media, so what the fuck was he even doing? Playing games?

It left you and Poppy's mum to talk.

"I've always wondered," she said, kind eyes all crinkled as she smiled at you.

"Of course we know Joe," she turned and curled a hand around his wrist. Joe smiled at her for a second, far more comfortable around her than you were. Which, yea, made sense. She might as well have been his mother.

"And we know Mark, but we don't really know you, do we? I've never heard how you and Mark became such close friends,"

Oh God.

This definitely felt like a protective mother making sure her daughter wasn't going to marry an unreliable man. One who didn't secretly have a girl on the side. One that didn't hide his mistress in plain sight.

You kind of understood, though. This all came from a good place, even if you could see that the smile you got from her was now very obviously a fake one. Or, perhaps not fake, but definitely wary.

Then you saw Joe put his phone down and direct his attention to you as well. A strange grin took over his face.

He scooted his hips forward a little, getting more comfortable as his legs spread wider. He was ready to listen to a story.

"Oh, well," you waved a hand, making it seem like you and Mark were surface level mates. "Nothing crazy, we just met at school and became fast friends."

It wasn't a direct lie. Not really.

It just wasn't an answer to the question she asked.

Joe narrowed his eyes at you and then frowned a little.

"You and Poppy met at school, didn't you?" Poppy's mum turned back to Joe, who immediately smiled at her and nodded. "Year 4," Joe added, and it was wild to see how fond she was of him.

Poster boy Joseph.

Probably the perfect son-in-law in her eyes. You wondered how much she despised that Joe wasn't the one marrying her daughter. How much she wanted Joe to be a true part of her family.

Instead she'd gotten Mark. And Mark came with an attachment.

You.

"Mark and I met when I was 14, and, you know him," you said, unsure if she actually did. "One big, kind softie."

The two of you laughed. Bonded over the fact that Mark was hardly soft - he could easily intimidate with just a simple look. He could be soft, sure. But he didn't look it.

Not the way that Joe looked soft, you thought.

The bridal consultant walked out and called everyone back to the sofa. Poppy was about to walk out in the first wedding dress she'd ever put on her body.

This was a big moment.

With everyone in position, Poppy got introduced all officially, and then she stepped out, dressed in an awful looking huge pile of tule that engulfed all of her. Absolutely ate her alive. She looked excited, but very self-conscious.

Her mother clapped in her hands excitedly and was already close to tears.

You looked at Joe who, Jesus Christ, looked absolutely smitten.

What was fucking wrong with him?

Poppy's aunt and cousin had huge big smiles on their faces and, oh my God, were you going to be the only one to tell her that you didn't like the dress on her at all?

Poppy got placed in front of a mirror and took a good look before she turned to face all of you.

"And?" Poppy questioned, eyes hopeful but terrified.

Her mother burst into tears.

Oh shit.

Joe immediately handed over a tissue from a box next to him.

"You look gorgeous," he said as he comforted Poppy's mum.

And she did look gorgeous. That wasn't the issue here.

Poppy got praised left right and centre, and you paid close attention to her face. For a moment you thought you weren't going to be able to give your honest opinion, because you saw her bloom, thriving on the kind words she was receiving from everyone.

However, when the consultant asked Poppy what she thought of it herself, Poppy turned back to look at herself in the mirror and hesitated.

Thank fuck.

Poppy made eye-contact with you in the mirror and gave you a questioning look.

"Pop, you look fantastic in white. Most beautiful bride. I'm being honest. Your skin looks like it's glowing, it's gorgeous... but, babe," you bit your lips into your mouth for a second, and considered the reaction you were going to get from the rest of the sofa.

"This dress looks awful,"

You saw heads snap towards you from your peripheral vision. You kept your eyes trained on Pop. Kind eyes. Real sympathetic ones.

The air was tense and you all waited for Poppy's reaction.

"I know," Poppy replied before she burst into laughter.

You could practically feel the whole sofa relax.

"It's not really your style, is it?" Poppy's cousin added.

"Far too cupcakey," Poppy said and scrunched up her nose as she picked at some tule and faffed with it to show what she meant.

"All right, less cupcakey, got it," the bridal consultant smiled.

The tone had been set. Good. You were glad. If everyone was just going to tell Poppy she looked great in every single dress, this whole appointment would be useless.

There was some more back and forth, people mentioning what they did like about the dress she was in, people adding how maybe this or that change would make it be more Poppy, and when Poppy disappeared into the dressing room to try on another dress, her mother reached a hand that grabbed onto your knee for a second.

"Thank you," this time you could see that her smile was sincere. "She deserves good friends like you."

You looked at Joe and couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. You were getting praised for being a good mate when Poppy's literal platonic soulmate was sat on the other side of her.

Joe eyes darted and only landed on you for a second.

Big cringe.

"Poppy deserves the world," you agreed. "And a beautiful dress," the cousin added, to which you all hummed and nodded. She really did.

Poppy tried on a few more dresses before she stepped out and was already in tears herself.

This was it.

It was the one.

Poppy knew it was the one, she could feel it in her bones and it radiated off of her.

She looked stunning.

Like, seriously stunning.

Mark was really fucking lucky.

It only took one look for her mother to start crying again, and before long, it was just you, Joe and the consultant with dry faces. Everyone else had tears streaming down.

"That's it," you said, and Poppy nodded with a shaky inhale and a wobbly smile. "That's the dress."

Her mother absolutely broke down then, and stood up to hug the girl in the beautiful white gown. It got quickly followed by her aunt who was trying her hardest not to let her mascara run, and Joe was just handing out tissues all 'round like his life depended on it.

He passed you one, which you took, but then held up questioningly.

"You're supposed to cry," Joe spoke out of the side of his mouth, his face in a faux panic over the fact that you weren't. He waved a hand in a small circle that was meant to say, hurry up with those tears, and it made you roll your eyes at him.

You stuck the tissue into your pocket and looked at the ladies stood by the mirrors.

This felt like a moment.

One you weren't part of. You weren't family, and you got the strong sense you were intruding.

The bridal consultant stepped back past the curtains that lead to the dressing room, and you thought she must have been thinking the same thing.

When Poppy's mother started talking about Poppy's birth, reminiscing about her sweet little baby girl, you knew you were right. Time to give them some space. You got up, excused yourself to Poppy's cousin who seemed to be drowning in self-pity over being single more than anything else, and escaped into the front of the store.

For a second you thought you could just busy yourself, looking through dresses, or whatever, but when you saw the door, some fresh air sounded divine.

It was nice out. Sunny. Slight breeze. Not very warm yet, but, the sun on your skin was bright enough to warm it.

You checked the time, and upon seeing how much time had already passed, you realised you were actually quite hungry. How bad would it be if you darted off get your hands on some food?

You didn't get to think about it long.

The door to the wedding boutique opened, and Joe stepped out.

Thinking that he'd been sent out to come and get you, you were about to tell him that you were just getting some fresh air and would be back inside in a minute. But then, Joe revealed a packet of cigarettes from a pocket and you realised he was joining you out on the pavement.

"Got a bit too emosh in there?" you asked.

Joe nodded as he took his first drag. A good, long one. He seemed insanely uncomfortable.

"I know it's a whole thing," Joe waved his hand around and made a stupid face. "But, fuck me, over five thousand pounds for a dress?"

Jesus fucking Christ.

Of course the dress Poppy was going to get was over five thousand pounds. Of fucking course.

Joe shook his head, and even though you agreed, you thought you had a little case of a pot calling a kettle black on your hands here. Joe looked like he was wearing designer pieces exclusively. He probably had gotten a lot of it for free, but retail value would easily be a couple thousand.

So, you wanted to defend Poppy a little.

"If she loves it, she loves it," you shrugged.

"Yea, no, of course,"

"And she looks great,"

"She does."

Joe was quick to just go along with you. Didn't want to ruffle any feathers. He was but a man, one who didn't really get it, but the ladies inside were really going through something together, and when Joe saw you sneak away, he'd followed your lead and had done the same.

"Poppy's got nice family,"

You'd only briefly seen her mother once, but had never actually spoken to her before. Her aunt and cousin were completely strangers to you, but they honestly did seem lovely.

"She does," Joe said, and he let another silence follow as he looked down the street, away from you.

Jeez, Joe. Come on, put some effort in.

"Though her mother definitely doesn't trust me," you couldn't help the slight chuckle at yourself.

Joe's eyes found yours, and he huffed a laugh as he exhaled thick white smoke that immediately blew upwards.

"Nah," he started, "She's all right,"

You looked down at your feet a moment.

"It didn't help that you pretended you barely even know Mark at all," Joe reminded you, and you looked up at him, about to share that she did say that Poppy deserved friends like you, but something about the way Joe was looking at you made the words linger in your lungs.

"What was that about?"

In all the years that you and Joe had avoided conversations like these, suddenly, it felt like the most natural thing between you.

To be talking about your friends like this.

You wondered what changed.

"I... I could tell you, but, I need to warn you. I might cry."

Joe didn't say anything. Just smoked.

"Is being in the vicinity of four crying women not enough?"

It was meant as a joke, but you knew that even just thinking about the start of your friendship with Mark could make your throat hurt.

"No? Need one more?"

You hid your smile badly, but you poked Joe right where it hurt. Joe thought he'd said something wrong and immediately backed off. You thought he either didn't get social cues, just in general, or that maybe you'd been right before, and Joe really didn't actually like you. He'd just tried to be nice for Poppy's sake.

You couldn't even be mad. That just made him a good friend. It just sucked that you had to bear the brunt of it.

But you were kind, remember? So after a short moment of silence, you decided to just tell him anyway.

"When I was 14, my, um... experience, with boys, and honestly, too many adult men, was very..."

You forgot that having to tell him meant you had to say the actual words. Verbalise them. Speak them into the air, just... outside, where you were stood on the pavement, for strangers to hear. For Joe to hear.

"How can I put this without it sounding too dramatic... basically, any time a boy was friendly to me, and I thought I'd made a friend, it was... it was never just friendly. There was always a point where suddenly, they wanted to put their sweaty little teenage hands in... places,"

Oh God, you couldn't look Joe in the eye for this.

"And I don't know, it just... if every time you think you've made a friend you end up finding out that they aren't actually a friend, it um... fucked me up, a little bit,"

You were going to brush over the adult men you mentioned.

"Not to mention the way that you'd then get treated after when you'd kindly say, no thanks, I'd like us to remain friends, please,"

You recalled the way they'd speak to you. Would look at you. Like you'd personally done them a great disservice. Like not letting them touch your tits was the most vile thing you could've ever done to them.

"Adult men?"

Fuck.

Joe's voice couldn't sound smaller if he'd tried.

"Yea, you know... just," you shrugged. Eyes down. This was just what things were like. "Teachers who would squeeze your shoulder for a second too long when they'd reassure you that you really were a beautiful young girl, or, my dad's coworkers that would comment on them being disappointed I wouldn't be in my schooluniform if they'd visit on the weekends,"

"Fucking hell,"

"It's whatever," you kick stomped a foot into the pavement. "It's not like I was molested or anything,"

Joe didn't say anything.

"But so, I'd turned down one of Mark's classmates who couldn't really deal with that and tried to spread rumours, you know, just... teenage boy behaviour, no offence,"

Joe thought back to his own teenage years. Of classmates calling girls lesbians because they avoided kissing them at a park gathering over the weekend. Or them calling girls slags for the exact same reason.

"Mark just... Mark decided to become my friend, and then, actually became my friend. It took me ages to trust that he wouldn't one day try to roll onto me to make out. I just... I kept waiting for him to make a move and the longer it took, the more I knew the world would burn when he eventually would–"

"Pocket," Joe suddenly said.

"Huh?"

"You've got... the tissue I gave you, you put it in your pocket,"

Oh shit. You were crying. A stupid laugh escaped you and you were quick to find the crumpled up piece of tissue.

"I'm all right, honestly," you said, unable to not laugh at yourself. "It's just... it's dumb how much it meant for me to find a friend who wasn't romantically interested in the slightest,"

"I don't think that's dumb,"

Joe looked at you with impossibly big, rounded eyes. All full of things like... empathy, and softness. Zero judgment.

"Well. It is." You concluded. Last thing you needed was for Joe to feel sorry for you.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that being betrayed and backstabbed a lot as a young girl means that– like, obviously that does– that's not, it's not dumb,"

Joe was going to have to stop talking if he didn't want you to break down right in front of him.

"It's– I think it's profoundly human that those type of things have an impact. Things like that leave marks, don't they?"

The sob that wretched itself from you was the worst thing your body had ever done to you in public. In front of Joe, no less.

It made you duck into yourself, and Joe's arms were around you in an instant. You imagined that Joe hugging you would be arms barely there. Body held back. Just, soft pats on a shoulder blade for just a second.

But it was none of that.

Joe's arms held a lot of strength. Squeezed your ribs tightly. Compressed you. A large palm covered the entire back of your head as he pressed it into the space below his chin.

It somehow eased everything immediately.

Joe smelled nice.

Was warm.

"It's not dumb," Joe started, his voice all soft and velvety. "You're–" but then a loud knock on glass interrupted him and made the two of you turn your heads to see Poppy stood in front of the window. Crying.

The two of you looked at each other, and Poppy's face only scrunched up more at the sight of you.

"Look at her," you said to Joe as he let you go and you didn't even wait for him to finish was he was about to say to you. You rushed inside where Poppy and you fell into a massive hug.

"Are you all right?" she hiccuped through a whisper.

"I am," you smiled over her shoulder. "You just look so very beautiful, it's hard to bear,"

You got a wet laugh out of her before you pulled back.

"This is what you're going to be wearing, right?"

"This is the one," Poppy beamed, and the urge to hug her close overtook again.

By now Joe had made it inside, and you could see him look at the two of you from the side.

"Your wedding is going to be so gorgeous, you have no idea. I can't fucking wait," you said, and Poppy's grip around your neck tightened in excitement.

"It'll be the best day," you continued. "The weather will be lovely, and everyone you love is going to be there to witness you and Mark, saying yes to each other. It'll be beautiful, everyone will be so happy. Good vibes only."

"Don't," Poppy sniffled. "Please don't lose the rings,"

You immediately dropped your shoulders, and a few steps away, Joe let out a loud belly laugh.

You were quick to flip him off behind Poppy's back before pulling back out of Poppy's embrace. Your middle finger aimed at him only made Joe laugh louder.

"Of course I won't," you smiled sweetly at her.

"Trust me. I won't."

—

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[thedreadvampy]

look I do not want to have this argument in the notes of a 5k+ post bc I will get crucified and so will the person who I'm arguing with

but see I made this post about the use of language and said I thought that words like rape or abuse or suicide are extremely necessary and that they can be uncomfortable words but that's because they're uncomfortable things?

someone in the replies said, quote, "that doesn't excuse y'all reblogging this without trigger warnings"

and like, far be it from me, a guy who spent a non-zero amount of time having panic attacks if I saw Chewbacca merch and once had a day-long dissociative episode because I saw someone carrying a guitar, to say what acceptable triggers are or how people should respond to them

but in this instance. I'm pretty clear that yeah actually it does excuse reblogging it without trigger warnings

because in this post I didn't at any point actually talk about rape, abuse or suicide, I talked about the words "rape", "abuse" and "suicide".

in fact in the original post I don't think I want into any more detail than I would in the tags "tw rape" "tw abuse" or "tw suicide"

which gets under my skin, right, because while there's no problem with choosing to trigger tag that post of you think it's helpful, demanding that this is such an Obviously Triggering post there's a moral obligation to tag it (because it contains the Bad Words) is uhhhhh kind of exactly what I'm talking about?

Language here is mistaken for the thing. Saying the word "rape" is construed as unambiguously harmful in a way that talking about rape without naming it isn't.

I have literally heard people begin to describe a rape, a domestic violence case, a murder, a suicide, in those terms - then stop themselves, change their language, and carry on describing these really specific, upsetting experiences with the clear understanding that they've removed the Problematic Part (now that they're saying "special cuddle" and "adult time" instead of "rape").

Part of what I'm reacting against in that post is exactly that - the idea behind the cutesy euphemisms and the censorship of important words like "death" and "rape" (and frankly "lesbian". and "sex" and "kink" and "porn"), which is this tendency to displace the discomfort caused by the word onto the word itself.

Obviously everyone's experience of trauma is different. But as a survivor I'm not triggered or disturbed by the word "rape", I'm triggered and disturbed by the act of rape, and potentially by conversations which describe or explore or evoke that act or experience.

And frankly I find it hard to believe that a significant plurality, let alone a majority, of people with PTSD connected to rape or abuse are so sensitive to the Word Itself that they must be protected from even hearing it named.

I am particularly clear on this with "rape" and "abuse" because, as I said in the post described, those are unambiguously words coined to create purposeful discomfort, because they're words coined to recognise the harm in very common and normalised actions.

If you've experienced rape, abuse, or whatever, and the words alone for those things are deeply distressing, I'm very sorry for you. That must be awful and I wish you well.

But a lot of the time I think when people start linguistically self-censoring (not "you can't talk about this topic without a trigger warning" but "you can't use this descriptive word without a trigger warning") they're not actually reacting to a debilitating trauma response, but to the fact that hearing the word inspires discomfort, because it puts an appropriate amount of weight on the topic.

you have to trigger tag for "suicide" but not for "unalive yourself" "sewerslide" or "kys"

you have to trigger tag for "death" but not for "no longer with us" "left the world" "unalive"

you have to trigger tag for "rape" but let's be honest not for a description of having sex with someone against their will, as long as you don't call it rape.

(btw people will blame this on the Algorithm but it goes back way further, we were having this Acceptable Words Discourse on Tumblr in 2012, you know? it's definitely accelerated by algorithmic control but this list of Bad Words as a shibboleth for Caring About People is old old bullshit)

(also the idea of trigger tagging on the basis of words rather than meaning strikes me as uhhhh suboptimal? especially when it comes to words created to talk about our experiences? like maybe there's a significant textural difference between a post which uses the word "rape" in a list of words that exist, a post saying "if this happened to you it may have been rape," an exploration of survivor feminism and the political positioning of rape, a list of rape prevention and recovery resources, and a graphic rape fantasy. like any of those might be things I don't wanna see, but they're very different in relation to each other and to my trauma, you know? and not wanting to see explicit discussion of rape doesn't necessarily mean not wanting to Ever Hear The Word. but that's another conversation.)

anyway this is all academic frankly because the thing you're objecting to is that the words are in the post. bc again, trigger tags on this post entail Exactly The Same Amount Of Exploration Of These Topic as the post itself

[selfship-vent-confessions]

I'm sorry, but the period confession?

Periods is already such a stigmatised topic and talking about it is a good way to normalise something that is normal about the human body.

I struggle with heavy periods + PMS that legit drives me into depressive episodes, and those f/o imagines bring me so much comfort, and for so many other people that menstruate.

To put a warning for periods only leads to more stigma to the subject.

If it triggers you, just filter it out or click "not interested" on those post.

Yes, we need to respects peoples triggers and create a safe environment

I'm not trying to sound rude or belittle your problems btw, but this is just as much of a sensitive subject for me as it is for you.

//Another nonbinary AFAB person.

-

[vtoriacore-rbs]

this might be a very unpopular opinion BUT the only thing i find wrong with booktok is the fact that the books are not marketed with the proper content warnings! it isn't "dark romance" to stab a knife into your gf's mattress and make her perform some weird acts on it, it's SA in my opinion and that's what it should be tagged as. not some sexy, romantic scene but a fucked up, toxic one. the content isn't problematic for me but the way it's put out as "romance" is because it is NOT romance and definitely not "dark romance" even tho that's what majority of these women put it out as which is HARMFUL to literal kids who are on the app and might finds these disturbing behaviours as normalised and romantic. the lack of consent should be a MAJOR trigger warning to put in books but most of these booktok authors don't even do it which normalises SA and other disturbing issues and that's my personal problem with it.

[womanofdarkdesires]

Contradicting previous anon, he was worried about his weight in dethfashion, and he had some chub with his belly. Sorry about last anon, some people REALLY don't know when to keep it to themselves 🤦‍♀️

yeah i totally see where ppl come from with some headcanons sometimes, but i also feel at the same time the internets weird because not every single thought you have has to be shared online and i feel thats just been normalised a bit too much. especially when its a tricky topic you bring up unprovoked to a random stranger with no trigger warning, because honestly you have no idea what other people have been through and what may trigger them.

and honestly yeah its kinda weird just seeing someome randomly give me their skwisgaar ed headcanon when all my previous asks about it today have been cute fun stuff that made me giggle. yes metalocalypse is a r rated adult show but i still think people on fandom spaces on the internet shouldnt be subjected to unprovoked triggering topics on somewhere they come to talk about their interests without judgement with likeminded people. i think we should also expect not to be triggered unprovoked and im not personally mad at the person who said that i dont want to argue or anytbing i just hope they can realise its not reallt something you should say to a random stranger unprovoked.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Am I the only one who really HATES that Barbie movie? It LITERALLY NORMALISES BULLYING, EMOTION ABUSE AND GASLIGHTING

I know it’s probably more trouble than what is it worth but I am losing my mind keeping it in. As someone who had been bullied, abused and gaslighted multiple times I am shocked to see how everyone seems totally ok with this movie. Even like it! I mean Sasha’s ENTIRE character LITERALLY just normalises bullying, gaslighting and toxic abusive behaviour!

Just a heads up. I am going to get into some serious shit here. So trigger warning for I will be mentioning more abuse…although again the Barbie movie literally normalises that. But I am here to talk about the real dangers that behaviour can cause, such as depression, self harm and even suicide.

I was really upset watching that godawful scene where the group of girls decided to chew out Barbie like that. I am so SICK of people saying “Oh that’s just teen angst”. NO it is abusive behaviour and it doesn’t matter if it’s a kid or not! If a kid is harassing someone you HAVE to confront them about it or else someone will get REALLY REALLY HURT! They will never learn and continue to hurt others like that as well! This is coming from someone who had to endure this type of behaviour and got into some serious self harm habits. Many kids at school have ACTUALLY committed suicide because of girls like Sasha and her friends! DO NOT ACT LIKE IT IS A NORMAL THING!

I felt so angry at Sasha at that time and I still am but what sickens me is how she gets away with it. I thought it may be introduced as an obstacle to show how HARD it is on people who are the victim. For example, Wreck it Ralph does a good job at showing how hard it is and how that behaviour can effect others and why said behaviour is BAD. While Wreck it Ralph is hard for me to watch when I feel vulnerable other times it makes me feel stronger as it shows I am not alone. I figured it was taking that sort of direction, to show how it is hard but it happens. As a small way to show awareness.

Barbie bounces back and literally forgets it ever happened and Sasha was just a horrible person all the way through and she NEVER apologised. She got away with it as if it was NORMAL and OK! She was even portrayed as one of the heroines of the story! With NO growth or apology or ANYTHING! You see where I am going with this?

I actually ended up crying and having a serious meltdown after the movie because of that. My mother also agrees with me and says she couldn’t stand Sasha and how she reminded her of the girls who used to bully me and torture me like that. I don’t know how the directors didn’t even THINK about how awful that would look! I am surprised that no one in the making of the movie even thought “wait a minute…”. Also this is just going to show kids that it’s normal to do that. NO! It is bad! If your kid treats someone like that you have to talk to them and tell them how harmful that behaviour is!

Am I literally the only one who sees this problem???

Oh and I should also mention how Sasha and her friends thought Barbie was a crazy person who had mental issues. They literally thought she was mentally disabled and decided it would be hilarious to harass her! Like WTF?!!!! HOW IS THIS OK?!!!!

[papakhan]

Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it

the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"

what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.

the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.

And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).

sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY

My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.

anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3

[whumpshaped]

Memories 1: Disdain

Silence Masterlist

trigger warnings: institutionalised/normalised pet whump, it/its used as the default for pets, captivity, victim blaming, conditioning, manipulation, implied torture, past trauma, broken bones, dehumanisation

Sil was lying on the floor of the surprisingly nice basement. Of course, it hadn’t been ecstatic when Master told it that this was where it would spend the next several years of its life, regardless of its behaviour. It was better than nothing, certainly better than what it had expected, but the start was still a little rocky.

There were no windows, no sunlight to get inside. There was a little lamp in the corner of the room, only turning on half the time with the flip of its switch. Sil didn’t know whether the other times Master had done something to disable it and further plague its life, or whether it was simply old and not working properly. It didn’t really matter at the end of the day.

Its pet bed was thrown down the stairs after it - after its own body had been roughly shoved down the steps, resulting in at least one broken rib and a seemingly fractured ankle. Its shoulder had seen better days as well, but the pain was nothing compared to its swollen, throbbing leg. It was agony, every single second was more painful than the last, and it couldn’t walk anywhere. It had brought the pet bed over to where the little lamp was in an attempt to find some comfort in the dim lighting, only for the lamp to randomly turn off just as it had finally settled down in a position that wasn’t so unbearably painful.

There were some toys as well, broken ones like itself. Some dolls with missing limbs, puzzles with torn up pieces, picture books with the pages scribbled on. Sil didn’t touch them. Surely, they weren’t for it. Maybe Master had forgotten that he had been using the basement as his personal garbage disposal, and he was eventually going to come and get all of them to take them to an actual dumpster. It didn’t want to anger him by touching something that was meant to be thrown away.

It was odd to be so focused on a single goal. Something so unattainable at that. Master was always angry whenever it saw him. It was maddening to be so hypervigilant about someone else’s anger when its own had never been taken into consideration. Its anger had never fazed Master, yet it was being taught to fear the slightest signs of his annoyance.

The medicine tasted ghastly. Sil hated every single pill, and every time the bitter exterior touched its tongue it wanted to gag. It never hesitated, though, and never gave in to that urge. It swallowed every last one that it had been given, wallowing in helplessness for the night that followed and waking up with less and less memories of its life before. It had never been given medication for the pain, and the more it had to endure the amnesia pills, the more grateful it felt for that. It didn’t think it would be able to swallow a single other pill aside from the mandatory ones.

Its body slowly mended itself, as much as it had been allowed to. The pain of dragging itself over to the bathroom to take a shower whenever Master got tired of touching its grimy skin faded. Well, that might’ve been a bit of an exaggeration on its part. Master didn’t touch its skin. He never had. He wore gloves to avoid any physical contact, and he used canes and whips to inflict the kind of pain that would make him feel better in the end. Maybe it was just the sight of an unkempt pet in his pristine home that sent him over the edge, yelling at Sil to use the damn shower it had been provided.

Ungrateful, unruly, disgusting pet. Useless. Can’t even clean itself, can’t even do that one single thing so its owner wouldn’t have to look at something so unsightly.

But why would it? Sil was hidden. Sil had been hidden by the very master that now demanded it acted like it was being on display. The same master that had pushed it down the stairs, making it hard to even stand, that had shoved it inside a windowless room with a bathroom barely big enough to fit the shower, was now telling it to get up and get to work on its appearance when it didn’t fucking matter.

Sil lay on the floor of that room, fiddling with the wire of the little lamp. These were dangerous thoughts to have, the ones that criticised him, dissected his irrational behaviour, the ones that outright whispered he shouldn’t walk the same earth as everyone else. They fuelled its anger, and anger wasn’t an emotion associated with any good pet. But Sil wasn’t a good pet. Sil was an ungrateful, unruly, disgusting pet, hidden from the world, the sun, the people and the other pets. Sil was allowed to feel angry when no one was looking, because most of the time, there was no one looking.

The only pair of eyes on it were Master’s, and Master’s eyes were usually busy surveilling his other pets. The good pets. The ones without broken bones and lash marks on their backs. The presentable ones. The ones that were sometimes tasked with bringing it its lunch, so they came downstairs and laughed at its pitiful predicament - but only until Sil pretended to lunge at them and they ran upstairs, crying like the stupid little prissy, spoiled pets that they were. And then Master came downstairs, and Sil took its punishment with those dead eyes fixed on the wall it was turned towards so Master could tear its back open.

It put down the wire when it heard the basement door open. Heavy, purposeful steps signalled Master’s arrival. He was always angry when he came downstairs, and he never wasted a moment justifying the abuse he was about to inflict upon it. Same as ever, he reached the bottom of the stairs and gestured for Sil to get up and crawl over to the wall. He already had his chosen whip in his hand.

Sil glanced at him briefly before looking back up at the ceiling. It was tired that day, so awfully exhausted. It didn’t even want to think about getting up and moving its body in any way. Besides, its anger overpowered the anxiety that came with being disobedient.

“Come here, mutt.” Its owner was giving it a second chance with the verbal command. He knew that Sil knew damn well what he wanted from it, but still, he was merciful enough to just say it out loud, as a warning.

“I don’t think a disgusting person like you is fit to care for a pet, Master,” it said in response, without even looking at him, fully ignoring the command.

The silence that followed was threatening to suffocate it. It weighed heavy on its chest, making its breaths come shallower and shallower. It expected an instantaneous reaction, Master blowing up and shouting at it to apologise immediately, and when that didn’t happen, it was forced to actually turn its head and look at him to see what was going on. That was the first battle it had lost.

“Good. Now you’re listening,” he said coolly, sending shivers down its spine.

“Master’s voice even echoes in such a small room. It’s impossible not to.” Its own voice got quieter, a little shaky towards the end. That was the second battle it had lost.

“Tell me why you’re insulting your owner.”

Sil could’ve backed down from this third battle. It should’ve. It should’ve told him, ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking’. Crawl over, kiss his shoes, apologise again. It didn’t. “Is the truth insulting to you, Master?”

“It isn’t. I’m wondering why you’re not telling the truth. I’m wondering why you’re resorting to childish insults in an attempt to get under my skin.”

He didn’t move from his place in the middle of the little room. He didn’t make an attempt to drag Sil to its feet or even knees, and he didn’t force it to kneel where he wanted it to kneel. Still, Sil felt that pull in its body, the conditioned response. The right response. It tried to ignore it, but in the end, it justified itself sitting up, figuring it was better to be in a seated position when he inevitably decided to stomp right on over to it and punch it in the face.

In reality, it knew Master wasn’t going to take a single extra step to punish it. He was waiting for Sil to present itself for punishment.

“Do you think this is the way to take care of pets?” it asked, increasingly agitated by his nonchalance and its own sense of helplessness. “Do they teach this somewhere? ‘Grab a whole pack of pets, buy the entire shelter worth, then single out one of them and lock it in a dark basement.’ Do they? Do they say that? Is this the proper way, the right way, the merciful way to take care of me? Do you have cats, Master? Or dogs? Is one of them isolated somewhere?”

“I do think this is the way to take care of you.” He didn’t even hesitate to say it. He didn’t even… try to lie. “My approach to pets is rather individualistic, and your faulty self should be more than happy that I even decided to give you any sort of space in my home.” Sil opened its mouth to argue, but Master went on, silencing it entirely. “I would never treat another pet the way I treat you. I would never raise my hand at a pet who was able to be trained any other way, and who understood a single method other than pure violence. I would never isolate a pet who wasn’t hellbent on wreaking havoc in my home and scaring my good pets. But I don’t expect you to remember any of your previous misbehaviour, of course, or to understand the first thing about me as a person or owner. I don’t, because it’s very clear that you’re incapable of even understanding the simplest of commands. I treat you the way you deserve to be treated, because as an owner, I treat all my pets that way.”

Sil couldn’t respond. It… expected something else. It didn’t know what exactly, but it was different to what it had been given. Master didn’t stumble over his words, he didn’t even really raise his voice. He spoke with such confidence that it was impossible to think he could’ve been wrong. Sil was missing many memories. All of its clear memories were of Master hurting it and the other pets being scared of it, almost nothing from before.

It deserved to be hurt like this? Did anyone deserve to be hurt like this?

The defiance slowly drained from its body as it looked into Master’s unwavering, cold eyes, finding no solace, no sign of him regretting or rethinking any of what had been said.

It deserved to be hurt. It deserved to be locked away and beat on.

It slowly crawled over to where Master wanted it, ruined shoulder aching as it pulled its shirt over its head to present its barely healing back. “I understand, Master.”

“You don’t,” he said with as much disdain as was humanly possible. “But you will.”

~

taglist: @whumpsday @whump-queen @whump-blog @alexkolax @ha-ha-one @hidden-dreamland @looptheloup @batfacedliar-yetagain @oddsconvert @pinkraindropsfell @project-xiii @whumplr-reader @a-crumb-of-whump @cyborg0109 @dizzyteasroses @the-scrapegoat @whumpinthepot @dustypinetree @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @dokidokisadness

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Warning ahead of time for talking about aquatic animal death (non-mammal), trying not to talk about food preparation (I think I did good not mentioning specific things), and non-aquatic animal death.

I like watching food videos, which is great and all until it's seafood. It's either going to be palatable to watch or activate discomfort and rage.

The only way I can watch them is if the meat is already prepared, as they should be. Except shellfish (I feel so dumb asking, but that's shrimp as well, yeah? I think yeah).

But, like, there are! So many! Videos! Preparing the seafood Too Much! One was even taking a fish straight from a river and preparing it for eating! You get what I mean? I don't want to say too much.

And because of your efforts in spreading the truth of fish (and other aquatic non-mammals) having feelings and personalities and such, I start thinking... Would there be casual videos of food preparation like this for chickens? Cows? No, no there wouldn't. Because we respect them to some kind of degree, their full preparation would be greatly distressing to watch, wouldn't it? Why is it okay with seafood? You get me?

Not to worry anon, I will tag this appropriately with animal death trigger warning tags. Though I will also have to warn anyone still reading, I will also talk about the killing of animals. A bit of an essay about fish mistreatment and the possible reasons why incoming ^^''

I feel you! I have noticed this worrying trend in society myself, so have many other much wiser fish enthusiasts and activists before me. Publicly showing the preparing of fish from the live animal to the finished dish is... creepily normalised. Especially when this would never be done to mammals! Like that pufferfish meme that was popular some years back, the one where the pufferfish eats a carrot and then moans? That clip is a part of a fuller video where said pufferfish is prepared, fully on screen, into a dish. Even the actual meme, the pufferfish biting into the carrot and moaning is saddening and disturbing to me; the pufferfish is gasping for oxygen and the chef sticks a carrot in its mouth just to show how sharp its beak is, prolonging its fear and suffering.

Something that I think explains this phenomenon, and what I've heard activists talk about, is that what most dictates how we view an animal is how we first come into contact with said animal. We tend to see animals like mammals, birds, beautiful pollinators in everyday life in contexts that tend to value them just for existing as they are, like dogs and cats being pets, songbirds singing and butterflies and bees flying from flower to flower looking pretty. (As a big arthropod fan I acknowledge that invertebrates are often overlooked and underestimated as well! And I also acknowledge that not all mammals and birds are loved equally as they should. But that's a whole other story.)

But fish? Besides aquariums, I don't think people have very many experiences with fish just existing. Many people's first real memory of seeing and interacting with fish might just be going fishing with a relative or a friend. Your first meaningful encounter with a fish and it's said fish being caught with a hook in the lip, out of the water, possibly suffocating or promptly killed to be prepared into a dish? That kind of interaction immediately normalises that fish are more of a service than a group of animals that can be appreciated just as they are. It also normalises catching and preparing of fish unlike any other animal! I'm not saying fishing is inherently horrible, but see how most people don't ever get to see a cow or a chicken being slaughtered? Yet a good chunk of people must have gone fishing at some point or another. This immediately and subconsciously tells us that it's fine to see fish being killed in front of us, because it's normal.

I think what also helps us disregard the emotions and experiences of fish when we see them be killed in front of our eyes is the fact that, as humans, we can have a hard time relating to animals that don't look or emote like we do. Of course fish feel emotions, they feel joy, sadness, anger, love, and they definitely feel terrified to be out of the water and in the hands of a predator! But they don't emote it through facial expressions, they can't scream or wail, they can't wave their limbs like a terrestrial animal in distress would, they can only squirm. The emotions they feel are real, we just don't read them as strongly as we do on other animals. (And even then humans are mighty good at anthropomorphising animals when they shouldn't. Did you know that to other primates smiling is often a threat display, but some humans have gotten hurt by primates for assuming that it's a happy smile and smiling back?) So, once again we can ignore the feelings of fish much easier when they aren't screaming in fear, or crying, or clawing to get out — out of sight, out of mind. This is most likely why some folk think of fish as living decorations, also. It's easy to overlook their personalities when you don't see them displaying their emotions loud and clear.

These two reasons are why I think it's extraordinarily important to teach people about the lives of fish! Sure, fishing will always be a thing and our tendency to look for humanlike expressions is in our DNA. But how easy will it be to disregard fish once you know that cichlids form complex social circles where everyone knows who's who and their exact relationships? How manta rays and cleaner wrasse recognise their own self in a mirror and even in pictures? How catfish talk to each other with drumming sounds? How bettas have unique personalities and enjoy playing? How some sharks like to be pet? I don't think it'll come just as naturally as before. Even one visit to an aquarium or a near body of water can be a lifechanging experience. :)

Thank you anon for presenting such an interesting ask, look how it got me talking! This is all food for thought, for me and to anyone who has gotten this far. I don't think I can ever express how much I love fish. I love their little personalities so much and they all deserve to live their lives to the fullest. I hope that perhaps some people who didn't see it before will be able to see what I see, because life is so much more fun and meaningful when you appreciate all the living things around you! Not just the meowing and barking ones.

[bobalegsanji]

Hi, I wanted to give a little update on the whole everything. I've been trying to be as transparant about mental health as possible in my fics and my tumblr, so it'd be a bit silly to stop now just because I'm embarrassed (lots of trigger warnings ahead)

I've been struggling with depression for over a decade, so it's become pretty much a normalised part of my life. Recently, a lot of things happened that kind of made it spike, but I always have a lot of trouble noticing it. I've gone to see a counsellor at my university but she told me to take an extra year instead of immediately going to a therapist, which I accepted. I now regret it, because I didn't realise how bad it got

I've been withdrawing from my friends completely. I've been having panic attacks, which I've completely ignored instead of doing something about. I look for external validation a lot, which led to me checking every social media I have at least once every 5 minutes to see whether I got any notifications. It made me spiral even worse, if I got any messages I would immediately talk to people only to overanalyse every conversation I've had for hours, and if I didn't have any notifications I'd feel sad or ignored

The day before my birthday I went to my parents house to celebrate. In the morning, we've got a call about my uncle threathening to overdose. He's fine now, but it's been really hard for me to see him in that state and how worried everyone is, and it made me realise I really need to figure some things out

I'm doing better now, but it's probably going to take a long time for me to get back to where I want to be. I completely cut off caffeine which helped with the anxiety, and I started listening to my body and what it needs. Some days I sleep until 5 pm, which I hate to admit, but it helps:) I'm trying to slow down on the whole external validation thing by going offline for periods, but it's pretty hard on me still. I'll definetly learn it though. The hardest part will be looking for actual professional help, which is something I really hate, but I'm going to do that once I feel ready

I don't think struggling with your mental health is anything anyone should be embarrassed about. If you need help, please seek it out! Even if you're not entirely sure you need it, it's so much better to be safe than sorry. There's plenty of people who'll be willing to help you if you just ask for help (and if you don't know where to go, my DMs are still always open) Cute little Zoro & Sanji to end <33

[leaderlamby]

TW: Cults

So we really need to talk about the word "cult" and how people use it.

Cults are real and they are serious, horrific, disgusting- nothing to use lightly.

Unfortunately, the word and concept is becoming so normalised and something quirky and fun, and I didn't understand the severity until I've had friends, who have been victims to real cults, tell me how bad it is.

I hate seeing kids online be like "haha let's make a cult for this character I like" - that is not cute or funny. Just say you like the character and go. There is literally nothing wrong with just doing that.

I've had to change some things about myself and this blog since finding out cults are not something to use lightly. What I have/had is more like an unorganised religion, so that's what I'm calling it now.

I highly suggest people stop using the word and watering it down to just- "group of people with common interest".

Research cults and how horrible they actually are. Find some victims' perspectives on it and take it to heart. Stop acting like it's a completely normal thing to joke about.

Keep in mind, there's nothing wrong with enjoying games like Cult of the Lamb, or with being from it, like me. So long as you don't support the actions irl and you add trigger warnings when talking to it.

I take issues like this extremely seriously and I really wish everyone else did as well.

[usedtobecooler]

You're absolutely correct about the minor coding. It triggers a visceral reaction in me when I see that shit, and it's still the stuff that gets high numbers in this fandom. It gives me pause about writing here at all, which is a shame. I enjoy writing and sharing. I enjoy writing smut. I don't kink shame. I'm not a prude. The amount of bridges I've had to burn due to this is outrageous.

i absolutely agree. i’ve never written that type of reader because for one it’s not me or how i act at all, and for two no matter how much you might try to veer away from the reader sounding like a child, it will almost always read that way when using certain phrases and using certain body language.

i’m not kink shaming or at least i’m not trying to, but there is a fine line to be tread between when writing these specific types of characters. porn consumption in general is damaging to the brain, and you have to be aware that, as extreme as this sounds, even in word format it is still damaging in high amounts especially when it is involving this specific kink.

i’m bringing attention to this as an almost solely smut writer. i’m aware that i’m not exempt from this discussion, though i am and have always taken steps and measures to make sure i’m not infantilising women and feeding into this specific kink. we all need to be aware that our work is a part of the over consumption of porn on the internet and try to take precautions to protect ourselves and others (especially underage fans who will still be lurking around, regardless of whether we know it or not) from being exposed to these things in vast amounts, especially when they’re posted with incorrect warnings. normalising unrealistic sexual relationships is another reason why young minds are twisted to believe this is the real normal for all adults.

i’ll also add this — if you believe your favourite character would be attracted to and turned on by women who act like children, do you really think much of them at all? because any man i’ve ever met who genuinely likes that has always been a wrongun.

[randomly-dollie]

Things to Normalise:

MISOPHINIA TRIGGER WARNINGS PLS

Furries because they’re generally cool people

Not judging people

Selling pins everywhere

Things to NOT normalise:

Discrimination

Sexism, homophobia and racism

JAX x CAINE SHIPPERS