egotisticaleverything

[egotisticaleverything]

Foggy is 100% the type of guy to absolutely clonk out as soon as you run your fingers through his hair.

Like he’ll cuddle up behind you, maybe kissing your neck and shoulders tryna start something.. but the SECOND he feels your nails on his scalp—

sssSsssnnNNNNNNRRRKKKKKKKK

Out COLD. Arms still draped over you, face plonked down into the crook of your neck DEAD ASLEEP.

It’s like a built in off switch.

[egotisticaleverything]

As both an child/teenhood Sexual assault and domestic violence survivor who’s also an ex-Melanie Martinez fan, I think that a lot of her questionable behaviour surrounding the portrayal of children in her “art” could have been brushed off as just artistic expression and satire if it weren’t for the fact that she’s literally a rapist…

For ages I just listened to the music and didn’t GAF about much of the drama until I took a look at it through the lens of her being an actual REAL LIFE predator — and when I did that, it actually unraveled how disturbing a lot of it is once you know that about her.

I’m not saying you’re a bad person if you listen to Melanie, I’m just saying that maybe don’t defend her with your life when actual survivors are telling you what she’s done is absolutely disgusting.

[egotisticaleverything]

I NEED to complain about something stupidly specific that literally doesn't matter, like the true Star Wars fan I am.

Ik this is like stupidly nerdy, but idgaf

In the original theatrical cut of The Empire Strikes Back, after Vader tries to get Luke to join him and fails, the next time we see him, he just says:

"Bring my shuttle."

And the line is so stern and monotone, without any of Vader's usual flowery dramatic language, and I LOVE it because it shows how absolutely PISSED he is.

But for some FUCKING REASON George Lucas decided to CHANGE IT IN THE SPECIAL EDITION to some BS along the lines of:

"bla bla bla alert my star destroyer of my arrival bla bla bla"

Like HELLO? HE JUST WATCHED HIS SON. ATTEMPT. TO. KILL. HIMSELF. INSTEAD. OF. JOINING. HIM.

WHY IS HE NO LONGER PISSED???

WHERE IS THE EMPHASIS??

WHERE IS THE BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL DELIVERY FROM MY WONDERFUL JAMES EARL JONES????

GIVE IT BACK?????

PLEASE???????

Like, I can live with that stupid musical number in Jabba's castle, but FUUUUUUUUCK that line change.

[egotisticaleverything]

Star Wars College AU where the plot is relatively the same except it’s told through the lense of college level drama. the empire, separatists, rebels, etc. are all different Frats/sororities and it’s all just a bunch of drama surrounding some bs like parties, school clubs or something.

Obi-Wan, Vader and Yoda are professors, Palpatine is the headmaster, Luke and Leia are students, 3PO is an exchange student and Han is their bum ass annoyed Uber driver who got way to involved because he was promised a really good tip.

R2 is an also an exchange student but doesn’t speak English so most of the time it’s just 3PO and him bickering because no one can understand him properly.

[egotisticaleverything]

In light of me being sad about being gay I’m going to write another fanfiction about Matt Murdock being sad about being gay

[egotisticaleverything]

We don’t talk about Vader’s mommy issues enough, and TBH that’s my favourite part about a man. (And yes I’m talking about post ROTS anakin cuz I like my man crispy)

He’s a hard headed, often irrational, violent, evil man. He doesn’t listen to many people because he sees very few as worthy of his attention beyond his usual tolerance of others.

But you’re his second in command, he can’t just throw you out if you irritate him — you’re too much of a liability by this point — so one night when he’s on the verge of doing something (which you see as stupid) the two of you get into somewhat of a… debate.

Debate is a… less than satisfactory way to put it but the word argument doesn’t quite fit either. It’s more of a violent altercation of the mouth — yelling talking that is. Get your mind out of the gutter.

And right as he raises his hand to force choke you, you say it. His name. Not his Sith name — no. His real name. And it’s not just that, but the tone. A tone scarily familiar to him.

“Anakin.”

In that same tone. A tone of voice he hadn’t heard in years. The same tone that scolded him for being reckless as he played with his friends, after coming home with a grazed knee and a cut on his hand. The same tone that grumbled its way out when he’d forgotten to clean his room for the third time that week. The same tone he’d once found annoying as an adolescent, yet deep down craved to hear once again. Not shouting, yet stern. Not angry, yet firm.

You sounded like her. Just enough like her to make him freeze. To make Darth Vader — a Sith Lord — hesitate.

He dropped his hand back down to his side.

You both stood, staring at each-other.

His laboured, mechanical breathing the only sound breaking the cold, dead silence between you. You weren’t sure if you were about to die or already had. Was this some weird level of purgatory? No. Because right as that thought crossed your mind, he spoke.

“I think… upon further reflection, your plan is… the more optimal option.”

Holy fuck?

“I will see to it that the instructions given to those involved are… updated.”

Holy fuck.

Did you just scold a Sith Lord into listening to you like a toddler? Yes. Somehow you managed to scold a Sith Lord into listening to you like a toddler. And you were definitely keeping that in your back pocket.

[egotisticaleverything]

“I asked chat GPT”

Yeah well I asked your mom who’s in bed next to me and she said she could go for a few more rounds, so I’ll be busy for the next few hours.

Text you after that tho. Using words formed from my real human meat brain.

[egotisticaleverything]

Been obsessed with this really specific idea for a Foggy fic with a College ex-girlfriend turned vigilante reader - probably one of Matt's rivals.

Just imagine one day after a particularly rough night, you basically collapse into his fire escape outside his window, not even knowing it was his. As you're getting up, he finds you. You're a mess (obviously), your mask has slipped/fallen off, you're whole body is bruised and gashed and you're slumped over the side coughing and sputtering blood.

And he's just like-

"Y/n???"

And you're like-

"Foggy?????"

He's convinced this is some weird fever dream, I mean wouldn't you if your old college girlfriend just FELL ONTO YOUR DOORSTEP- well fire escape technically -after years of not seeing her? Let alone dressed in a vigilante costume??? YOUD FREAK OUT TOO.

Cue angst and angst and more angst and probably some extremely emotionally charged smut.

I might do this if I get out of my writing slump. But until then

Fuck it we ball

[egotisticaleverything]

haiii this isn't a request but in your post abt john in the kitchen you mentioned a headcanon abt john having undiagnosed ocd/autism and i'm 👀 idk if you posted abt it anywhere but i'd love to know more abt it!! 🫶

I haven’t rlly made a dedicated post abt it so I guess this is it lol !!

I think he would have grown up in a family where — mainly his dad — “didn’t believe” in mental health and all that classic outdated conservative nonsense. And I think that same kind of mindset influenced the absolute iron grip toxic masculinity has on him and all his meltdowns as a kid/tween were just brushed off as him being an angry boy.

And that — mixed with the whole “boys will be boys” mentality — lead his obvious autism and OCD to kinda just be brushed under the rug as him “liking order and routine”.

He probably had a lot of sensory problems — specifically with mouth sounds and fabric textures— and it was always just brushed off as him being “particular” and “picky”. I also think he always has AirPods/headphones in at all times when he doing something — especially cooking — even if it’s not playing anything because the sensation is comforting and muffles people’s voices just enough to make it manageable. Also probably helps since his ears randomly start ringing thanks to his time in the army and all the loud noises he got exposed too — that’s also probably why in combat scenarios loud noises don’t bother him so much.

I’m also a strong believer in him having a lot of compulsions with his OCD — some specifically sparred on from Lemar’s death and the flag smasher he killed — one in particular being his need to clean his shield 3 times a night. And back with the kitchen HC he DEFINITELY has a very specific order for EVERYTHING in the kitchen. Which to everyone else is just him “being a neat freak” but the more you look at it — yeah that’s autism/OCD.

This has been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute but needed to get it out so HAZZAH

[egotisticaleverything]

Just finished rewatching the prequels and have made the decision that I do indeed need — not want, but need — to ride Obi-Wan’s face.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[egotisticaleverything]

HEEEEELLLLLOOOOO SAILOR

YOU CAN SWAB MY DECK ANY TIIIIIME GOOD GAWWWWD

[egotisticaleverything]

Thinking about pegging foggy nelson again….

Hashtag relapsed 🙏

[egotisticaleverything]

Lazy morning sex with foggy…. My brian is short circuiting…..

His breath is so hot against your neck, his hand sliding down to spread your legs further —“just a lil’ wider for me sweetheart…”— his cock is already sliding inside you so perfectly, just slowly enough to give you the perfect time to adjust to the stretch. His hand slowly slinking under your shirt as he begins his slow, lazy thrusts, hitting just the right spots and causing soft moans to escape from your throat. His hand cupping one of your breasts, squeezing and kneading it as he murmurs against your neck.

“Thaaaats it pretty girl…. Mmph…”

“So gorgeous… my god…”

Whispering softly as his hips roll slowly, hitting that perfect spot inside of you, over and over. His hand sliding back down between your legs to rub tight circles on your clit in tandem with his thrusts. Holding you close as you cum around his cock, coaxing you through it so sweetly— so perfectly.

Ouuurghhh I’m ILL…..

[egotisticaleverything]

John walker is bisexual guys he actually told me himself so everyone can stop arguing now 💕💕

[egotisticaleverything]

Adding onto the common HC I’ve been seeing of John being the group cook — he is DEFINITELY the “get the fuck out of my kitchen while I’m cooking�� type of person, like you walk in to get a glass of water and he is like “fuck off no I WILL get you water do not DISTURB my cooking. Here. Now LEAVE.”

I like to think he’s mainly like that cuz he likes to solely focus on what he’s doing, and alot of the others end up commenting or asking too many questions — this kinda feeds into my undiagnosed OCD/Autism HC for John — and it’s just annoying and overwhelming. But not Bob. Bob is allowed to stay.

John has declared Bob can stay because he is — as John puts it — “a respectful spectator”. Which started as Bob sitting in the common area near the kitchen doing whatever while John cooked, then slowly migrating over to the opposite side of the kitchen island. Then that evolved into Bob randomly saying little tidbits of how his day was and then it ended with Bob just coming in to yap about whatever while John cooks while replying ever so often but mostly just letting him talk.

John now finds a strange sense of comfort in his rambling and everyone else is like “why can he stay and we can’t” and John is like “cuz he’s Bob and you’re not.” And Ava teases him RELENTLESSLY for it like — “oooh someone’s playing favourites” and John just tells her to fuck off cuz in all honesty, he IS playing favourites.

[egotisticaleverything]

I fucking hate fandom in 2025 cuz every second post I see is just some shit like

“UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU INTERACT WITH [insert user/ship/fanwork] IT IS PROMOTING [insert some puritanical low key conservative buzzword] AND IF YOU INTERACT WITH IT YOU WILL DIE AND GO TO HELL BECAUSE YOU ARE [insert some form of bigotry]”

And then it’s like.. normal smut.. maybe with some pet play or smth slightly kinky

[egotisticaleverything]

Lewis Pullman now do I have the role for you

alright i give. give me some one shots you FILTHY animals are searching for 💅💅