#noone came to their defense

[ryuki-draws]

I am aggressively blowing a party horn at you in congratulatory gesture (congrats on the degree!)

Thank you so much!! I'm contently lying on the floor, completely still since yesterday when I came home after the defense

[starphobe]

fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new

[i-am-ki11ing-time]

angy again

[g-k444]

health ed class where im the shy girl at the back who blushes, embarrassed when the teacher announces we're doing sex ed in class today.

the first thing he asks for is a volunteer

i normally get picked on for these sorts of things - y'know - given im the one at the back of the class that always tucks her head into her book whenever she's noticed... i do my usual interested-in-book act and hope to go unnoticed.

it fails once again.

against my volunteering-want, i pick myself up - cheeks darkening as I feel the class' attention turn to me as my chair scrapes the floor, my heels dragging as i stand at the front and look across the classroom - seeing how many judgemental pairs of eyes stare at me - today's subject.

"Now that we have someone who has kindly volunteered - will you hop up onto the desk-"

I leaned back and let myself pull my bodyweight up so that I sat with my legs extending from the teacher's desk on the front

"-And pull your skirt up."

the words took a second to resonate before my eyebrows flew up in shock. "S-sorry?"

"Show the class your pussy," he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "we're in a health class and you volunteering yourself - your body - so go on, show the class your pussy."

My throat dries and closes, face draining of colour and yet heating up simultaneously, legs crossing over each other defensively whilst my body seemingly freezes at the overwhelmingness of it all.

I can't talk - my throat hoarse from the shock of it all - and instead the best i can do is shake my head erratically, not willing to oblige. was he joking? was this some example of how if you don't wanna show your body to everyone you shouldn't send pictures?

what sick thing what going on?!

it wasn't a joke though - and seemingly bad was turning to worse at the teacher frowned. "well, you've already volunteered yourself, and if you don't comply with what i tell you to do then there will be consequences, miss."

my body remained frozen in place from the shock of it all. and looking across the classroom, all the other students seemed perfectly okay with what was going on - as if there were some universe where this was normal! And if not neutral to it - some of the body even seemed to have their interests piqued by the idea, leant forwards in their desks as though trying to get closer to the action.

the teacher noticed my lack of movement and took matters into his own hands.

"Jones! Up!"

I looked across the room as my bully - the one that antagonized me for all things stupid and trivial - stood up and came to the front of the class.

"I'm going to lift her skirt up and hold her body to keep her still - i want you to hold her thighs open and pull her panties off."

this time the words clicked faster, and I pushed myself off of my arms to get off of the table and not let myself get undressed in front of the whole class - yet my teacher was faster. his arm wrapped around my body and pulled my back into his chest, his other forearm grasping at the hem of my skirt before yanking it upwards and revealing the upper skin of my thighs and the baby pink panties i'd chosen this morning - things that I hadn't expected nor wanted the class to see

"get-off- mE!" i wriggled under the teacher's hold and yet couldn't escape his grasp - and looking across the class with teary eyes, noone cared to make eye contact with me or help - instead they all made eye contact with the baby pink between my legs, uncaring for the yelps that left my mouth

the only one that looked me in the eyes was Jones. My bully, who hadn't shown kindness since I'd first joined. please, Jones... I'd whispered with a wavering tone to him - holding eye contact as he leaned down, his hands falling on either of my thighs... before he gripped them - hard - and prised them open to give everyone a better view of the pair of panties. and with both his hands occupied, his head fell between my legs as a scream left my mouth, his teeth clenching around the material to pull it away from my pussy and expose the raw flesh that evoked some scattered gasps and wows across the classroom.

"Terry, take my place holding her - everyone gather round-"

My body was grasped by a different set of arms, blubbers falling from my lips as the teacher came to my side and the class left their seats to come closer to my bare pussy - eyes fixated on the exposed mound

"This is what a real pussy looks like - this up here-"

he touched my clit and made my whole body jerk, a cry mixing ang mingling with a moan and making something of a wailing noise that seemed to make someone's trousers tighter

"that is the clitoris. the place that had the most nerves and it a pleasure point on the female anatomy. This set of lips is the labia majora - the other lips - and these inner ones are the labia minora"

i felt utterly degraded feeling him pinch either set of lips, shaking them with his words to emphasise what he said using my body - a trail of dampness following his fingers as he pulled away from my pussy

"and most importantly - this here is the vagina - the hole from which women have periods and babies from - but most importantly - the place which you put cocks, fingers and toys into to pleasure a woman."

"everyone, you may now touch and feel the demonstration."

my whole body jerked as various prods and motions were conceded on my pussy - Jones' hold firm around my thighs and stopping my from squirming or wriggling myself away from all the touch that made tears leak from my eyes

"can i finger her, sir?"

"absolutely, how else would you learn?"

a scream leaves my mouth as a pair of foreign fingers breaches my pussy, twisting and almost patting my inner walls curiously, before pulling away with a trail connecting his fingers to my pussy - fluid dripping between his fingers as the separated the two that had been inside my pussy

"okay, so, our first assignment will be to see how a pussy reacts when stimulated with pleasure"

everyone is given a chance to make me cum.

initially i scream and writhe on the desk whilst I'm instead pinned down, and have my pussy violated with fingers what scissor my walls and prod a sensitive spot until my juices spread over my shaky legs. then it's a tongue that breaches my hole with flicks and thrusts. they gain confidence though - and it's not long before a cock is inserted into my pussy and leaves stains of white over my pussy when he finishes.

my throat becomes so raw i cant speak - my mind a broken scramble and my pussy is so spent and broken that it doesn't even contract in horror anymore. it's completely passive as the orifice is breached over and over until...

"okay, that's good - now, as we still have a bit more time before class finishes... let's have some fun - everyone - find something in your bag or in the classroom to shove in her pussy to see how she reacts."

my mind is still scrambled - yet someone props a book beneath my head so that i can at least see all of the objects that are pushed into my hole - the pupils' cum acting as lubrication that allows the random objects to enter my pussy

a whiteboard pen, markers and other various stationary items enter first - testing the waters before someone tries to push a water bottle up there - then a chair leg that two people need to hold to effectively spear me with the metal rod

"good job today," the teacher bends to say into my ear as the students thank him and leave the classroom whilst im still starfished, energy dead on the desk. "clean yourself up and go the principal's office once you've done that. apparently he could hear all the racket in here and wanted a private meeting with you"

[findmeinforks]

Stay - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Happy 2024! I honestly didn't know what to call this, but I just kept writing and now I'll probably need a part 2 🙃 enjoy 💕 2.8K words

"You have no idea how excited I am. I mean just how long have I been begging you to come live with me?" Emily grinned into the phone that was tucked between her shoulder and ear. She paced the kitchen while whisking a bowl of brownie mix, mindlessly chatting away.

"I must warn you though that the house does get chaotic. But the boys are pretty good about keeping up after themselves," she said while swatting away Embry's hand that almost made a dip in the bowl. He put his hands up in self defense as she rolled her eyes.

"Sounds great. Sam will pick you up at the airport tomorrow at noon. Let me know if you need anything else, and have a safe flight. I love you!" She she set the bowl on the counter, hanging up the phone.

"Was that Y/N? She's moving in tomorrow?" Quil questioned from the table with a mouth full of chips.

"Yes, and I trust that you boys will be on your best behavior in welcoming her..." Emily raised her eyebrow as she pointed a dripping whisk of batter at all the men now surrounding the kitchen.

"Depends, is she hot?" Embry snickered as he sat down.

"Oh....she is." Quil emphasized with wide eyes.

"Get it Embry!" Paul snorted as he clapped him on the back, reaching over into Quil's bag of chips.

"They WILL be on their best behavior. And no one will be 'getting' shit." The booming voice of Sam emerged behind Emily, wrapping his arms around her torso.

He reached his head over her shoulder as she let him lick what was left on the whisk, earning a disgusted "Seriously?" from Quil.

"Hey, but what if she's my imprint??" Embry held his up his finger to argue.

"You know that would be a different story...but we know already she isn't Quil's" Sam smirked at the youngest pack members now disappointed face.

"You guys are kidding right? I've seen pictures. Shes insanely out of all your leagues." Jacob quipped as he strolled to the living room.

"Anything is better than my crushes newborn infant..." Embry muttered under his breath, making all the boys cower in laughter.

"Oh yeah? You wanna say that again?" Jacob challenged.

Sam walked around in between them, looking from side to side at them both.

"THIS is what Emily is talking about. Keep the fights outside boys. I mean it. Just because Y/N knows about the pack doesn't mean she won't get scared if you clowns nearly phase in the kitchen. Are we clear?"

The two reluctantly nodded, Jacob sulking away to the living room.

"But come on, that was kinda funny.." Embry whispered, making the other boys giggle.

Paul shook his head with a smile at his little brother, leaving the room to shower before dinner.

-

There was something about the conversation that stuck with Paul throughout the night. Since Sam had met Emily, all of his brothers wanted imprints. They all saw what it was like to have one up close, and craved it desperately. He grimaced at the thought. The idea of a "soulmate" sounded ridiculous to Paul.

The problem wasn't that he didn't believe in it. Anybody could see the intense love that imprints had for one another, their bond growing with them until old age.

But Paul was not familiar with the term love. He never did get to see the love between his father and mother. She had been his imprint, but passed long before Paul could remember much about her. He watched his father struggle emotionally, never being able to get through the grief of her loss. Sure, he raised Paul as best he could, but deep down it was his mother that would have filled the void in their quiet house.

Things did get a little brighter when Paul joined the pack. For the first time he truly felt like he was part of a real family. He came home to hot meals, genuine laughter, and lively conversation. Not only had he gained a group of brothers, but ones with unwavering loyalty. None of them ever strayed away when Paul lost control of his temper, and were the first ones to help him learn to control it.

Maybe that was the reason he never looked for anything serious when it came to women. What was the point? One little outburst and they were out the door quicker than they had come in. He didn't allow himself to feel anything for them, because they'd end up leaving, and he was saving himself the heart break anyways.

Paul lay awake that night certain about one thing, he didn't need an imprint.

-

You inhaled the crisp fall air. Smiling wide as you looked up the steps to the new home awaiting you, the patio adorned in different flowers and cutesy outdoor decor.

"Oh Em it's just how I remember. You always make it look so cozy," you said as you squeezed the arm of your cousin beside you.

She returned your same smile.

"You're too sweet. I just can't believe you're really here. Come on, I'll introduce you to the boys."

You followed her up the steps, walking through the door to the warm smell of baked goods, no doubt that Emily had been up all night. You chuckled to yourself as you remember how she would go overboard on food whenever she was excited about something and couldn't sleep.

What you weren't used to, however, was being greeted by the several shirtless men. All incredibly in shape with tattoos on their arms, you might have been intimidated if it weren't for their cheesy smiles.

Emily gestured to each of them,

"You remember Quil, and that's Embry, Jacob, Seth, andddd well," she looked around puzzled for a moment. "I guess I'll introduce you to Paul whenever he comes around."

You waved at Quil and shook the other's hands.

There must have been some sort of inside joke, because as you finished with introductions you saw Sam laugh while they collectively let out a small sigh.

You don't think you were meant to hear it, but you caught Sam whisper at Embry,

"Better luck next time kid."

Emily didn't make a big deal of whatever it was, guiding you to your room.

After you got settled in, you found yourself strolling the hallway, looking over all the framed pictures on the wall. You had been over the moon when Emily had found Sam. You've never seen her so happy before, and you could tell he looked at her in the exact same way.

Not paying attention when the bathroom door opened, you collided with a large bare chest that stepped into the hall.

You gasped as two strong arms to match caught you before you fell, luckily, and you embarrassingly faced the one man you of course had no former introduction with.

"I am so, so sorry. I-"

"No no it's fine, are you-"

Both of you started and stopped mid sentence. Your attention had been captured when you two locked eyes. It was like you had been anchored to the floor by them. This warm, fuzzy energy had your entire body buzzing. It was so silent that you could hear your own blood flow in your ears. You furrowed your eyebrows in the haze. What the hell...

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME??"

A loud voice cut through the trance and you flinched at the abrupt sound. The man held you slightly tighter for a moment, as if he was about to protect you from whatever had interrupted you both in this hypnotic state.

Turning around so you both could see that the voice had been Embry, the man looked back and quickly dropped his arms, as if he just realized he had been holding you that whole time.

An unfamiliar emptiness lingered when he let go. He quickly averted his gaze, mumbling another apology before brushing past you, into a room, shutting the door.

-

His imprint. Right there. In the hallway of his own home.

Paul couldn't breathe.

He sat on the edge of his bed, nervously running his hands through his hair in a panic.

You were beautiful.

Breathtaking.

Your smell was intoxicating and your skin was so, so very soft. Your voice sounded like an angel. Your hair-

No.

No, he couldn't let himself think like this. He didn't need an imprint. Didn't even want one in the first place.

Was this some kind of sick joke the universe was playing on him? This girl could have anyone she wants. Why him?

Emily's call for dinner had him taking deep breaths. He could do this. They could live amongst eachother and not have to talk. There's ton of people in this house, it would be rare that the two of them would ever be alone. Right? Right. He could do this.

He walked into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. Wake up. It's just some girl. No different than the many that he had been with. Hell, if he could have sex with someone and never think of them again, he could do it. They had barely exchanged a sentence. Barely touched. He would be fine.

-

You sat down at the table, trying to behave as normal as possible. What happened in the hall was nothing. Whiplash. Yes, it was probably the whiplash from running into him. The poor guy seemed shy, and he was most likely just as shook up as you. It was a small accident and nothing more. He certainly didn't seem angry or upset, just caught off guard.

But wow....was he handsome. Certainly more attractive than any lousy guy you'd ever been with. He had this aroma of sandalwood and forest that was enchanting.

Okay, slow down Y/N. Let's not walk in on the first day and jump on some guy. After all, you two are going to be living together. Maybe don't make him uncomfortable in his own home. You shook your head to yourself. Just forget about the whole thing and it will be fine.

Luckily, Emily had started conversations around the table, easily able to take your mind elsewhere.

That was, until he came in the room. There was a beat of silence when he entered, the other boys seeming to look at him like they were anticipating something. When he didn't make a sound or even look up to anyone, slumping at the table and taking a plate, the conversations arose again.

Dinner was excellent as usual for Emily's cooking, and besides your beating heart constantly begging you to look at the man near the end of the table, it was almost normal.

It was when Emily put delicious brownies on the table, that it took a turn for the worse.

"I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN. SHUT THE FUCK ALONE ABOUT IT" Everyone's head turned to the angry voice. It was him. He was so visibly upset that he was shaking, staring daggers at Embry beside him. Slamming his fists on the table as he stood up, you let an audible gasp slip.

That's when he looked at you for the second time that night. It was a far reach, but somehow you saw his eyes soften. The crinkles of anger in his eyebrows vanished, and he swallowed, before bolting out the door. Sam immediately followed, and Emily sighed, reaching out to touch your arm.

"I'm sorry about Paul. He's very.....expressive sometimes."

Paul.

-

"Leave me alone Sam."

Paul sighed through the mind link, his large wolf racing through the trees.

He didn't mean it. He never means it. But Embry would simply not stop talking. First it was meaningless. He asked what imprinting felt like. Paul had shrugged it off as nothing crazy, hoping he'd drop it there. Then, he had asked him if he planned on pursuing the imprint. Of course he told him he wasn't. He didn't need a soulmate. No matter what his instincts told him. But then, Embry had smiled and thanked him, telling him that you were now "fair game".

That had been when he lost it.

He stopped on the edge of a cliff, breathing in the fresh water air. Sam slowly approached his side.

"Embry only said that to get a rise out of you, you know."

Paul scoffed.

"He can do whatever he wants. I don't care about her."

"Oh you don't?" Sam didn't sound so convinced.

"Even if I did, she wouldn't want me. Did you....did you see the look on her face when I yelled?" Paul replayed it over and over. You had looked absolutely frightened.

"There is a reason she was chosen to be your imprint Paul. You don't know Y/N. She is patient, and most of all understanding. If you talked to her-"

"I don't need to talk to her. I am perfectly fine alone. I don't need a woman, and I definitely don't need an imprint."

Sam sighed.

"Paul. You can do what you want. I'm not the type of alpha to force you to love someone. But believe me when I say that I had a dark past. I was also comfortable with being alone. Emily is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Having a conversation with her doesn't mean there will be wedding bells tomorrow. All I'm saying is you don't know unless you try."

Paul nodded, and Sam left him with his thoughts.

-

You stared at the numbers on your phone screen. 2:00am. You huffed in frustration. Your mind had been a constant replay of the events today, your mind spiraling. You had settled on the fact things around here were weird, when you had visited Emily and accidentally caught sight of Sam in wolf form. But this energy couldn't have anything to do with that. Could it?

You decided to make yourself some tea to try and relax. Knowing Emily you knew there had to be some in the kitchen. You tip toed in the dark, your body stiffening as you recognized a familiar muscular back that sat at the kitchen table in a dim light.

You were ready to retreat back to your room when he turned his head around to look at you.

Damn, wolves must have good hearing.

"I was just....going to make some tea.." you pointed to the cabinet awkwardly.

He nodded, looking back down at what appeared to be a cup of coffee.

He couldn't sleep either?

You mindlessly tapped your fingers against the counter as you awaited the kettle, praying that if you stared at it long enough, it would speed up the process.

-

Fuck, was this torture. You were like a goddess, standing there in your pajamas, hair astray and up in a haphazard bun. He imagined walking up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, soaking in your warmth while he pressed gentle kisses on your neck. He wondered what it sounded like to hear you laugh...

STOP STARING. Say something. Anything. Just. Try.

He cleared his throat. It must have startled you because you quickly turned to face him.

"I'm...sorry. About what you saw earlier. That's not like me. I-Embry, he can get under my skin sometimes," he rubbed the back of his head.

"But that's no excuse. I'm-um, Im Paul, by the way."

He lifted his hand up in an almost wave. Why was he so awkward? He was never this way with women.

You giggled, and suddenly, he felt like he was in heaven.

"Y/N. And no worries at all, Emily said you can be....'expressive' sometimes."

He chuckled.

"That's one word for it. But I just don't want to scare you off..."

"Well. I think if knowing that you can all turn into a large creatures who can rip me apart and that doesn't scare me away, I think you were okay." You smiled. He could look at that smile forever.

-

He was actually talking to you. Man, was his laugh so perfect. You could talk with him forever.

The kettle screeched, and you reluctantly made your tea.

"Well....I guess I'll see you around, Paul." You took your mug and headed for your room.

-

His name on her tongue. He wanted her to say it again.

"You can stay. If-if you want. I, uh, I don't...know much about you."

You smiled.

"I'd like that."

To be continued......

[mapiforpresident]

Arsenal or Barca femini x teen reader prompt 30 pretty please

"You look like Hell."

Barca x teen reader

warnings: mentions of partying, alcohol

~~~

In your defense, you had totally forgotten that Alexia had changed the date of the bonding day to today. So when she called you, her voice a mix of concern and annoyance, asking where you were, you were caught off guard. You had been out all night at a party with some of your friends from high school and forgot that you had team bonding the next day at noon. Only Alexia would schedule a team bonding event at noon.

Not wanting Alexia to keep calling you, you got ready and headed over to her house a couple blocks from yours.

As soon as you entered, Lucy spotted you first. “You look like hell,” she blurted out, her lips twisting into a playful grin. The rest of the team turned to look at you, some stifling laughter, others raising eyebrows in amusement.

“Thanks, Lucy,” you replied, rolling your eyes but unable to suppress a grin. “I really needed that boost of confidence.”

“Seriously though, what happened?” Keira asked, stepping forward and half dragging you to sit on the couch in between her and Aitana.

“Did you at least have fun?” Aitana inquired as you leaned back into the couch yawning.

“Yeah, it was a blast until Alexia called me before noon on my day off,” you said, glancing at the faces of your teammates who were all amused at the situation and the state of you.

“Next time, set an alarm,” Keira suggested with a playful nudge. “Or just don’t party before team bonding. You know how Alexia gets about these things.”

You chuckled, knowing exactly what she meant. Alexia was always on high alert when it came to team cohesion and you partying during the season, and you could already picture her stern expression if she knew how late you’d been out.

Just then, Alexia appeared from the kitchen with a tray of snacks, her eyes narrowing at the sight of you. “Y/N, I swear if you’re not here for the whole event, I’m going to have a serious talk with you.”

You threw your hands up in mock surrender. “I’m here! I promise!”

“Good. Now, sit tight and try to look like a functioning human being,” she said with a smirk before handing out snacks to the team.

As the card games begin, you continuously got teased by your teammates. You loved this team and they truly felt like family, especially in moments like these, even if you would rather be sleeping.

“Alright, Y/N, your turn!” Patri called out, grinning as you groaned.

[apomaro-mellow]

steddie falls into porn cliches on accident

Steve was in the middle of washing the conditioner out of his hair, loving the silky smooth feeling and watching the water turn from cloudy to clear as it was all rinsed out. He was ready to start washing his body in earnest now, when he heard the doorbell ring.

For a second, he was ready to just ignore it, thinking it might be a delivery or someone trying to solicit. They could leave whatever they had on the doorstep or keep moving. Then the bell rang a second time and Steve remembered that he was in fact supposed to answer it.

Robin had hired a plumber to fix their sink. She told him they'd be coming between 8 am to noon. Steve had gotten in the shower exactly at eight, thinking surely he had enough time in that window. What kind of plumber showed up this promptly!?

Steve turned the shower off and grabbed the first robe off the hook. It wasn't his, he knew that. But in his defense, Robin wasn't home and he liked to air dry when he could. She could get mad at him later for snagging hers. He tied it hastily, rushing to the door before the plumber left.

-------------------

Eddie waited for the door to be answered, checking his watch while he did. Today was his only appointment, so he thought he was doing well by showing up on the early end of the window. He was ready to spout the rehearsed script when the door opened. Good morning, Munson and Son Plumbing. You got a problem with your drain pipe? Well I'm here to fix it. Fun fact, I'm a guitarist, so I'm pretty good with my hands. Anyone you know looking for lessons?

His uncle didn't always like him plugging his side gig, but putting up posters around neighborhoods wasn't quite as successful as actual face time. Then the door fully opened and he got an entire eyeful. A dripping wet god of a man, his modesty just barely preserved in a bath robe. It did nothing to hide his thick, hairy thighs or impressive chest.

"Hi I'm here to handle your pipe!", Eddie blurted out. "I'm mean I'm good with my hands! P...plumbing! I'm the plumber, I'm here for your plumbing."

"Oh, y-yeah, we've been expecting you", Steve tried to close the top of his robe more and that made Eddie self conscious about staring.

Steve introduced himself and Eddie did the same as he was let into the house, somehow not putting his foot in his mouth as he did. Steve took him to the problem sink and Eddie got to work while Steve excused himself.

He went into his room, looking for something presentable only to find it was mostly his stuff for the club. Definitely not appropriate for a plumber visit. Then he remembered why. He had started a load of laundry last night. And when he woke up this morning, putting it in the dryer so it'd be ready once he was done with his shower.

He went to the laundry room to do just that, emptying the contents of the dryer into his hamper, bending over to do so. Once he was done, he'd be able to put together an outfit that didn't make him look like a desperate housewife.

Eddie had just finished tangling with the pipe. It didn't take as long as he had expected but his shirt was drenched now. He listened out for Steve, hoping he was nearby so that he didn't have to call for him, only to hear something...odd.

He followed the sound until he came to an open door and realized what the sounds were - little grunts of effort. Eddie bit his lip, letting logic and reason work themselves out. Steve knew he had someone in the house and the door was wide open so he couldn't be-

Eddie walked through the door and there was Steve, bent over, top half in the dryer, bottom half sticking out. His robe had began to hitch up, revealing just the bottom of that perfect ass.

"Holy shit", Eddie squeaked out.

"Hey? Plumber guy? I know this is awkward but would you mind helping me out? My robe got caught on something and I can't-I can't free myself."

"Um, okay? So should I just...should I just?", Eddie got behind Steve, hands fumbling. Should he adjust the robe or would that be rude?

"Just grab me and pull", Steve said, wriggling around more and stopping when he heard a rip.

"Yeah, okay, yeah I'll just", Eddie grabbed Steve's hips and pulled, to no avail.

"Gonna have to do it a bit harder than that", Steve said. "Here I'll, I'll try and push too."

Eddie swallowed as he pulled again, Steve's hips coming flush with his own and eliciting a gasp from the other man.

"A...again."

Eddie pulled again, harder this time. He had kind of been working with a half chub. The kind Steve had to feel right between his cheeks every time Eddie pulled on him.

Steve gasped with each time their hips came together and it was getting hard to pretend his asshole didn't flutter with each movement.

"Fuck, just fuck me already", Steve whined.

Eddie wasted no time in dropping his pants and rubbing his cock against Steve's ass, precum dripping and Steve still wet from the shower. The tip slipped in with ease and then the rest of him and Steve's hips wouldn't stay still and then he was fucking him oh shit he was fucking him he was fucking a client while on the clock.

Steve's voice sounded goddamn ethereal, echoing inside the tub of the dryer. He was giving as good as he got, pushing back with each thrust and Eddie got to watch his dotted cheeks jiggle with each impact.

Eddie pushed the robe up more, licking his lips as he was rewarded with the sluttiest back arch that he'd ever seen. He wasn't going to last and this Steve guy wasn't either. Eddie came first, one hand on Steve's hip and the other bracing itself on the dryer so that he didn't fall over. Steve's cock spilled into the floor, a mess to be dealt with later.

"Fuck...you really are good at handling pipes", Steve laughed through his panting.

When Eddie left that day, he didn't get Steve's number. But a week later their company got a call about a clogged toilet and specifically requested that Eddie come over, that they only trusted his expertise. This time, Eddie wouldn't let it slip through his fingers. And this time when Steve greeted him in a half open robe, it was on purpose.

[dooberific]

Hiiiiiii!! Can I ask for Harumasa x Reader angst? They are lovers and the reader is also Harumasa's colleague. Then the reader got commissioned(?) to fight hollows but she got stuck in that place and (idk if they went to fight hollows alone but for this request, they have like underlings(?) that would go with them for the mission) the people/fighters that the reader went with to the hollows came back heavily injured and Harumasa saw that the reader is not there with them. That is all hehe, it's up to you if you want the reader to be found or if they would be a hollow and Harumasa has to fight them knowing that that is the reader (I'm a sucker for angst)

Take your time doing this request and stay healthy, dear author!

Anon….who hurt you on Christmas? 😭. Hope this is close to what you were envisioning!

❝ 𝘚𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 ❞

harumasa x afab!reader

genre: hurt no comfort, major character death

summary: it was supposed to be a routine mission, now he’s left to pick up the pieces

wc: 2.3k

There was a ring cut to your size. A thin and silver little band that lacked grandiose ornamentation. Diamonds and frills were never your thing after all, he could still see the little quirk in your lips at the memory of your colleagues rushing in with stones so large you thought them better fit for paperweights than proclamations of their belonging to another under the banner of love and marriage. “Practicality above all else,” you had claimed some months ago, thumbing at the simple band around your index finger. Your late mother’s ring.

He hoped you were the sentimental kind, your voice warbled over the line from the outpost in his ear as he smiled. “I’m just saying to be careful is all.” He asserted, fingers running aimlessly over the silver band resting in his palm. Your initials and his were cut into the inside. 

It was supposed to be your day off, the first you had taken in several months, but when H.A.N.D phoned you that they needed your section of the HSO to assemble for a rescue mission after a Defense Force team had vanished inside of Hollow Zero, well….you didn’t get the luxury of saying no, even if you were the Chief. 

“When am I not careful? Remember which one of us you’re talking to here, Haru.” You chided, the smile on your face so present he could hear it change the lilt of your voice. 

“Right, right, I’m talking to my beautiful, kind, intelligent and all around perfect girlfriend~” Though he hoped that title would be changing very soon, as he held the ring up to the light, the sun filtering through the window of your shared apartment dancing enticingly over its surface. 

You giggled in his ear, the sound warming him to the soul. He could practically see the way the corners of your eyes wrinkled in delight.  “That’s much better.”

The interference in the background of the call amplified, faint callings of your name cutting through the static. You sounded disappointed. “Sorry Haru, I gotta go.”

“It’s okay baby, duty calls. Just try to be home for dinner.”

“Wouldn’t miss a date night for the world, you better not peek in the closet while I’m gone! I want that dress to be a pleasant surprise later.” 

You fell quiet again as you pulled the receiver away from your mouth, yelling a response into the background. “They’re about to have an aneurysm over here,” you huffed. 

“I love you, Haru~”

“I love you too, (y/n)~”

That was a little after noon. It was now nearing midnight and the outpost was crawling with H.A.N.D uniforms and HSO stragglers. Countless outpost scientists shouldered through the crowd, chiming off readings and acting as if they just had a some great scientific breakthrough.

But you were still inside of Hollow Zero.

And H.A.N.D was beginning to withdraw. 

Even flashing his Section 6 badge failed to get him answers despite his insistence, earning little more than the shake of a head and a “this is above your paygrade, kid.”

They threatened to court martial  him if he kept accosting them. But they didn’t have you inside the Hollow like he did. The epitome of his happiness, the one he swore hung the moon and stars, his most constant companion, and the only one he could imagine waking up beside of until the day he expired. 

They didn’t have you, but they had the version of you that made their actions palatable. The “good soldier” and “valiant leader”. The slave to a public that didn’t care to know your name even as you shouldered their burdens as ceaselessly as atlas held the heavens. The one who signed up for a death job.

A chorus of shouts erupted, the flash of the medical units blazing to life under the white spotlights. 

Survivors.

He shouldered his way through the swell of the crowd with little regard for those he pushed aside. In a perfect world he would break from the crowd and see you standing there, a little worse for wear but alive and smiling like you just cheated the world. You would push past the medic teams as they chased you down to throw your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips as you gloated playfully.

“See? What’d I tell you? Safe and sound.” 

But you weren’t there. A cluster of five soldiers stumbled through the outer bounds of the Hollow—no, those weren’t soldiers, they were members of your faction carrying the torn uniforms of Defense Force operatives. They dripped with blood and grime, corruption marring their skin as they limped out, half-dragging others.

“Hey!” He yelled over the roar of the crowd as he grabbed one of them by the shoulder. His name badge shined under the lights. Kimura.

 “Where’s your chief?”

The man shoved his hand away, “Get off me man!”

He didn’t know where he got the strength as he grappled with Kimura before taking two fistfuls of his collar. “Where’s your fucking Chief? Where’s (y/n)?!” 

Multiple pairs of hands tore at his uniform from behind as they hauled him off, legs kicking as he wrestled against their pull.

“Where is she?”

“She’s stayed behind!” 

Kimura’s face was blank, his eyes distant and foggy as he stared at the ground. There were tears streaming down his face as he drew a ragged breath. “I’ve never seen so many ethereals, we were overran so quickly…Chief (l/n) and Deputy Chief Kato created a diversion to draw them away so we could get out.”

Kimura looked up with red rimmed eyes.

“I am so sorry.”

Hollow Zero had mutated. Or that was the story they were telling everyone now. The sensors at the outpost had registered a dramatic spike in etheric energy about 30 minutes after Section 2 had infiltrated, and by the next 20 the bangboo that accompanied you had stumbled out with fried circuits, the carrot it followed now expired as the interior of the hollow rearranged. 

It was supposed to be a standard recovery operation. You had done them hundreds of times in the past.

“I’m sorry, Asaba. My hands are tied.” The officer said with a shake of his head. “No one’s allowed in unless they are operating with their faction. You’re the only one from Section 6 here.”

He gripped his bow tighter. “Then I suggest you turn around and pretend you didn’t see me then.” 

It felt like an electric current thrummed under his skin as he breached the Hollow. He didn’t bother to call the proxy or wait for the association to form a new carrot. There was no point, even as desperately as he clinged to the idea of you being unharmed, alive, there was still a rotten crawl of doubt in the back of his mind that made the thought of wandering forever as an ethereal within Hollow Zero a more palatable choice than leaving here without you. 

He didn’t know how long he had wandered through the hollow, hair matted to his forehead from sweat as he cleared another broken wall, trying to survey as much of the warped landscape as he could. He doubled over, hands braced against his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He had overextended himself already, his chest constricted tightly as his breathing became shallow, a sharp ringing in his ears. He screwed his eyes shut, focusing on getting his lungs back under control.

In and out.

In and out.

There was a distant cry that met his ears, strangled and distorted, one that twisted his gut in an iron grip as his head shot up.

You.

He didn’t know what he hoped to find when he fumbled over the rubble in your direction. Finding you was the sole focus of his mind for the past few hours, the rush of adrenaline carrying his mind past rational thought.

You. You. You.

It urged his tired legs forward, kept him standing as he rounded the corner and saw the torn back of your uniform jacket stretched unnaturally over your crumpled form. 

Even with your back to him he would have recognized you anywhere, even as your body contorted unnaturally, muscles spasming wildly as a distorted cry pierced the air. Your hands clawed as the ground, ugly black shards piercing your skin from within, nailbeds black and bloody where your fingertips had rubbed raw in the dirt.

He knew better than to approach you, to roll you to your back as your body seized and writhed in his grasp, more warbled cries piercing the air.

Your eyes were glassy and unfocused as his hands cupped your cheeks. Your skin was hot to the touch, corruption running thickly in your veins and curling out of your skin like ugly black horns. 

He shushed you gently, cradling your head in his arms as your hands tore at his sides, teeth gnashing wildly as the corruption ate away at your humanity before his very eyes. 

“When I turn into an ethereal one day, I want to you promise that you’ll kill me.”

You lifted your head off his chest. “You sure have a strange idea of pillow talk, Haru.”

He snorted, hands tracing down the curve of your spine as you shivered. “Yeah, I know but still…I don’t want to wander in a Hollow forever like some mindless husk. That’s no way to live.”

You bit your cheek, stretching up to peck him on the lips, his hands gently brushing your hair aside as he grinned against your lips.

“Then I trust you to do the same for me.”

He hated himself. He hated that he remembered that conversation you had over a year ago, begging himself to twist the truth, to convince his own mind that you didn’t know the weight of your words. But deep down he knew he couldn’t deny it, deny you, of the peaceful passing he had asked you to offer him. 

This shouldn’t be an issue for him to face. It shouldn’t be you in the throes of corruption, screaming and tearing at him like an animal as your senses fled you body. 

You were supposed to outlive him. The scales of nature were stacked unmistakably in your favor.

Tears wet your cheeks, but they didn’t belong to you. Hot and salty tears poured down his face as his breath stuttered. Everything about this was wrong, like his worst nightmares spawning into a hellish reality as he begged any god that might exist for an easy way out, begged you for forgiveness, for you to answer him with that same gentle smile that was reserved just for quiet moments with him. 

Apologies burned him from the inside out, like venom on his tongue as he peeled your hands off of him and backed away. His hands trembled so violently he could scarcely nock an arrow, his entire body weak. His vision swam, whether it was from the ether corruption that had dinned his hearing or from the tears that didn’t seem to stop he wasn’t sure.

His lip quivered, breathing unsteady as he stared down at you, your form clawing at the earth before pushing shakily onto your knees. You moved more like a marionette than a human, the skin on your neck crumbling under a sheen of black as the core began to manifest. 

Mournful cries dripped from your cyanotic lips as a hand extended in his direction. It was a moment of lucidity, fingers flexing against the veins of corruption under your flesh.

“Haru, I’m so s-sorry.”

The arrow whistled sharply as his fingers released the bowstring.

.

.

.

There was a ring cut to your size. A thin and silver little band that lacked grandiose ornamentation. Diamonds and frills were never your thing after all, he could still see the little quirk in your lips at the memory of your colleagues rushing in with stones so large you thought them better fit for paperweights than proclamations of their belonging to another under the banner of love and marriage. “Practicality above all else,” you had claimed some months ago, thumbing at the simple band around your index finger. Your late mother’s ring.

They both sat on the table on your side of the bed, the metal cold and lifeless under his dull gaze. 

“Asaba, I know this is hard, but there are people who you can talk to. That can help you.” The voice of Yanagi echoed from the answering machine in the hallway. He let his cellphone die weeks ago. 

“We are just worried about you. Please, call me back.”

Your favorite coffee cup still sat beside the pot in the kitchen, the rim stained pink from your favorite lipstick. Your toothbrush still sat in the cup beside his, your shampoo still in the shower. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb the bag hanging in the closet, you didn’t want him to spoil the surprise of the dress you bought in excitement at the prospect of going out to dinner after all.

His medicine bottles sat empty in the bathroom trashcan, the contents lost to the sewers of New Eridu by now.

His lungs heaved tiredly, a deep wheeze whistling in the back of his throat. His vision never stopped swimming, even after he carried you out of the Hollow, an arrow embedded between your glossy eyes as your blood stained his clothes.

His thumb pressed the space between your eyebrows, your nose wrinkling, eyes warm as you stared at him from your side of the bed, hair fanned across your cheeks. 

“Haru, it’s not good for you to lay around all the time.” You whispered, leaning into his touch as his hand drifted to cup your cheek, thumb teasing your lower lip before you pressed a kiss to the pad.

 “Get up, you need to eat.”

He knew it wasn’t real, that you weren’t real, but he smiled like you were anyways. Like your lips were warm as you leaned in and brushed them against his, like there was weight behind the pull of your hands as he rolled out of bed for the first time in days.

There was a ring cut to your size, and for a little while longer he would pretend it was nestled on your finger. 

Rey 2024, crossposted to ao3

[huggybearluvr]

luke mf hughes needs to have the best world rocking sex with his girlfriend after they haven’t seen each other in a while whether that’s due to her in college and him with hockey, or literally whatever you please 😗

need you | lh43

summary: After a few months apart due to Luke joining the NHL and you staying at UMICH, you both couldn't help feel an overwhelming need for each other after you surprised him on Thanksgiving break.

warnings: oral (f and m receiving), p in v (unprotected), semi-public sex (car)

a/n: I'm back to writing! I am feeling much better and actually had so much fun writing this!

Masterlist

As break was nearing you had told Luke you were heading back home for the holidays. However, you and Jack had already planned for you to come to Jersey and surprise Luke.

You arrived in Jersey a few hours ago. Once Jack picked you up from the airport he took you back to the apartment as Luke had media before the game tonight and would not be back.

You set up all your stuff in his room and began to get ready for the game, Jack had arranged for you to have a suite all to yourself, and later would meet them down by the locker room to surprise Luke.

Once you were ready in one of Luke's Jerseys you ubered the arena, entering through the back door as Jack instructed, one of the staff leading you to suite.

You grabbed a high noon form the bar and some food before taking your seat.

As the game went on you were on edge. The devils were down by one with only two minutes left in the frame.

You watched as they pulled Vaneck. Jack had the puck behind the goal, Luke skated on from the bench, Jack leaving the puck behind as Luke wrapped around handling the puck.

He glided down the ice maneuvering through the defense to the goal, he skated past the blue line, wristing the puck past the goalie.

You stood in excitement cheering along with the other devils fans.

As the buzzer sounded overtime would begin in only a few minutes.

You watched as the team skated out on the ice taking their positions.

The Devils had won the face off moving the puck through their own end before moving it forward.

Luke received the puck taking it onto the other side of the ice, landing aa beautiful saucer to Jack who skated through the center delivering a shot to the top of net slipping it just behind the goalie.

You were all smiles as the Devils cheered.

You stood following one of the staff down to the locker rooms.

Jack was the first out eager to record the reunion between his younger brother and girlfriend.

He ran over hugging you," He's gonna be so excited," He said with a smile plastered across his face.

You smiled in return watching as the players came through the door.

Your eyes landed on your beloved boyfriend. It took everything in you not to run and jump into his arms.

His eyes were glued onto his phone most likely waiting for your text. He shook his head looking up his eyes first landing onto his brother before noticing you.

He stood there shocked before dropping his gear. You smiled running over to meet him. His arms locked around you pulling you as close as possible.

He tucked his head into the crook of your neck placing sweet kisses just under your ear, "Hi baby," He whispered into your ear before pulling away to place a kiss to yours lips.

As he pulled back his forehead laid against yours. Your eyes met his," hi Luke," you smiled.

He shook his head kissing you again.

You smiled into the kiss pulling away, "Later," You whispered.

He shook his head once more, tucking you into his side, as he grabbed his bag tossing it over his shoulder.

"We totally surprised him," Jack said now joining the you and Luke.

"Shocked you were able to keep your lips shut," Luke chirped at his older brother.

"Yeah yeah, you guys have fun, I'll be at Nico's tonight," Jack said as he turned to head back to the locker room," Use protection!" He screamed as he entered the locker room.

You both laughed heading to the car.

As you and Luke sat in the car, he grabbed your jaw, kissing you much more passionately than he did earlier, "Don't think I can wait," he mumbled as he trailed kisses down your jaw.

You rolled your head to the side before pulling away, "You don't have too," You smiled," Focus on the road."

You unbuckled your seatbelt as Luke pulled out of the spot heading to his apartment catching onto your plan.

You pulled your knees onto the seat as you leaned across the center console. You slipped down Luke's sweats, and boxers with a smile, as his hard-on popped out hitting his stomach. You took him in your hands slowly pumping his cock.

He groaned at the feeling, "Come on baby, don't tease me," He pleaded pulling your hair to the side with his free hand.

You smiled as you slowly began to swirl your tongue around his tip, continuing pumping his cock in your hand, you slowly began to push your head down further and further.

Once you felt him hitting the back of your throat you sped up your movements, his hand placed in your head holding your hair, helping you to go deeper.

"Just like that baby, so good f'me," He praised, spit was dripping out of the corners of your mouth as you pulled your head back jerking his cock once more.

"Gonna cum for me?" You asked before taking him back in your mouth.

You hollowed out your cheeks taking him further, continuing to hit the back of your throat, as you felt him twitch in your mouth. He held your head down allowing himself to cum.

You pulled back swallowing his load before you sat right in the seat.

You looked up to see you were int he parking garage. You were both quick to get out of the car, and headed straight to the elevator.

As Luke punched in the code and floor, he turned to you, his lips crashing into yours, as he slowly pushed you against the wall of the elevator, his knee pushing between your legs, leaving you tot gasp against his lips.

He tapped your thigh signalling for you to wrap your legs around him as the doors opened. He fished the key out of his pocket with one hand his lips never leaving yours. He pulled away for a second to unlock the door.

Once you were both inside he kicked the door shut taking you straight to his room, he laid you on the bed standing infront of you," Need you so bad, baby," He said, quickly stripping watching as you did the same.

He dropped to his knees before the bed, grabbing your thighs pulling you to the edge. He kissed along your thighs, making his way to your core.

"Please Luke," You begged.

"Such a good girl, so pretty," He smiled as he slowly ran his tongue along your slit.

You moaned out in pleasure. His tongue moved between your folds. He slipped once finger inside slowly pumping it in and out.

"Just like that Luke," You slipped out as your back arched pushing yourself further against his mouth.

He added another finger never stopping his mouths attack on your clit.

"Need you inside Luke," You begged. He looked up at you his chin covered in your slick.

"yeah? need me to fuck you good?" He asked with a smirk litering his face.

You nodded, biting your lip as he pulled himself up. He took his cock in his hands pumping it a few times before lining himself up with your cunt.

He slowly slipped inside, meeting your lips, He waited for you to signal that you were ready for him.

As your hips bucked against his he knew you were ready. He slowly began to pump himself into you gradually building speed.

Your hips rolled against his, as his hand found its way between you both rubbing at your clit.

"Such a good girl," He smiled as he sped up his rythem fucking into your harder.

"Gonna cum," You managed to get out as your head fell back your eyes closing.

Luke stopped in his tracks, "Open your eyes," He demanded.

You opened your eyes meeting his once more as he movements continued. You were nearing your orgasm. Fighting everything in you to keep your eyes open knowing he would stop if they shut.

"So good for me baby," He praised as he continued his harsh movements inside you.

You moaned out as squeezed around him, cumming on his cock.

He leaned down kissing you, "Such a good girl," He mumbled as he moved his head to suck on your neck, leaving hickies along your collar bone.

Your legs began to shake as you began to get overstimulated with Lukes continued attack on your pussy. You pulled yourself back, off of Luke.

"Too much," You managed to get out. Luke just chuckled.

"You can do it baby," He praised as his hands ran along your legs, "You've been such a good girl, just one more? for me?"

He sat against the head board, "Come here baby," He called out to you.

You slowly made your way over tossing your leg across his hips, You took him in your hand before pushing yourself down onto him.

He bottomed out inside you, as you rolled your hips before fully getting into a good rhythm. His hands squeezed at your ass helping you to ride him.

You head landing on his shoulder as the pressure in your care began.

"Mhm baby, just like that gonna cum," He called out stroking your hair before grabbing your chin to kiss you.

"Want you to cum inside," You whispered against his lips.

"Yeah? You want me to fill you up?" He asked as he gripped your chin to meet your eyes.

"mhmm," You moaned out as both of your orgasms began approaching. As you walls clenched around his cock you could feel him twitch inside you, Filling you up.

Your legs shaking once more as you feel against Luke's chest, his arms wrapped around you holding you tight, "Wanna stay like this forever," You mumbled against his chest placing a delicate kiss.

"Me too baby, missed you so much," He spoke kissing your head.

He slowly lifted you off him, you whined at the empty feeling.

"'s okay baby, let's get you cleaned up," He spoke softly scooping you up carrying you to the bathroom. You both hoped in the shower rinsing yourselves off.

Luke draped a towel around you drying you off, "You hungry?"

"Yeah," You smiled up at him.

"I'll grab some snacks que up a movie for us," He smiled placing a kiss to your head before heading out to the kitchen.

You spent the rest of the night curled into his side watching movies.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The paradox of choice screens

I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).

It's official: the DOJ has won its case, and Google is a convicted monopolist. Over the next six months, we're gonna move into the "remedy" phase, where we figure out what the court is going to order Google to do to address its illegal monopoly power:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/07/revealed-preferences/#extinguish-v-improve

That's just the beginning, of course. Even if the court orders some big, muscular remedies, we can expect Google to appeal (they've already said they would) and that could drag out the case for years. But that can be a feature, not a bug: a years-long appeal will see Google on its very best behavior, with massive, attendant culture changes inside the company. A Google that's fighting for its life in the appeals court isn't going to be the kind of company that promotes a guy whose strategy for increasing revenue is to make Google Search deliberately worse, so that you will have to do more searches (and see more ads) to get the info you're seeking:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

It's hard to overstate how much good stuff can emerge from a company that's mired itself in antitrust hell with extended appeals. In 1982, IBM wriggled off the antitrust hook after a 12-year fight that completely transformed the company's approach to business. After more than a decade of being micromanaged by lawyers who wanted to be sure that the company didn't screw up its appeal and anger antitrust enforcers, IBM's executives were totally transformed. When the company made its first PC, it decided to use commodity components (meaning anyone could build a similar PC by buying the same parts), and to buy its OS from an outside vendor called Micros-Soft (meaning competing PCs could use the same OS), and it turned a blind eye to the company that cloned the PC ROM, enabling companies like Dell, Compaq and Gateway to enter the market with "PC clones" that cost less and did more than the official IBM PC:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/08/ibm-pc-compatible-how-adversarial-interoperability-saved-pcs-monopolization

The big question, of course, is whether the court will order Google to break up, say, by selling off Android, its ad-tech stack, and Chrome. That's a question I'll address on another day. For today, I want to think about how to de-monopolize browsers, the key portal to the internet. The world has two extremely dominant browsers, Safari and Chrome, and each of them are owned by an operating system vendor that pre-installs their own browser on their devices and pre-selects them as the default.

Defaults matter. That's a huge part of Judge Mehta's finding in the Google case, where the court saw evidence from Google's own internal research suggesting that people rarely change defaults, meaning that whatever the gadget does out of the box it will likely do forever. This puts a lie to Google's longstanding defense of its monopoly power: "choice is just a click away." Sure, it's just a click away – a click, you're pretty sure no one is ever going to make.

This means that any remedy to Google's browser dominance is going to involve a lot of wrangling about defaults. That's not a new wrangle, either. For many years, regulators and tech companies have tinkered with "choice screens" that were nominally designed to encourage users to try out different browsers and brake the inertia of the big two browsers that came bundled with OSes.

These choice screens have a mixed record. Google's 2019 Android setup choice screen for the European Mobile Application Distribution Agreement somehow managed to result in the vast majority of users sticking with Chrome. Microsoft had a similar experience in 2010 with BrowserChoice.eu, its response to the EU's 2000s-era antitrust action:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BrowserChoice.eu

Does this mean that choice screens don't work? Maybe. The idea of choice screens comes to us from the "choice architecture" world of "nudging," a technocratic pseudoscience that grew to prominence by offering the promise that regulators could make big changes without having to do any real regulating:

https://verfassungsblog.de/nudging-after-the-replication-crisis/

Nudge research is mired in the "replication crisis" (where foundational research findings turn out to be nonreplicable, due to bad research methodology, sloppy analysis, etc) and nudge researchers keep getting caught committing academic fraud:

https://www.ft.com/content/846cc7a5-12ee-4a44-830e-11ad00f224f9

When the first nudgers were caught committing fraud, more than a decade ago, they were assumed to be outliers in an otherwise honest and exciting field:

https://www.npr.org/2016/10/01/496093672/power-poses-co-author-i-do-not-believe-the-effects-are-real

Today, it's hard to find much to salvage from the field. To the extent the field is taken seriously today, it's often due to its critics repeating the claims of its boosters, a process Lee Vinsel calls "criti-hype":

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

For example, the term "dark patterns" lumps together really sneaky tactics with blunt acts of fraud. When you click an "opt out of cookies" button and get a screen that says "Success!" but which has a tiny little "confirm" button on it that you have to click to actually opt out, that's not a "dark pattern," it's just a scam:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/27/beware-of-the-leopard/#relentless

By ascribing widespread negative effects to subtle psychological manipulation ("dark patterns") rather than obvious and blatant fraud, we inadvertently elevate "nudging" to a real science, rather than a cult led by scammy fake scientists.

All this raises some empirical questions about choice screens: do they work (in the sense of getting people to break away from defaults), and if so, what's the best way to make them work?

This is an area with a pretty good literature, as it turns out, thanks in part due to some natural experiments, like when Russia forced Google to offer choice screens for Android in 2017, but didn't let Google design that screen. The Russian policy produced a significant switch away from Google's own apps to Russian versions, primarily made by Yandex:

https://cepr.org/publications/dp17779

In 2023, Mozilla Research published a detailed study in which 12,000 people from Germany, Spain and Poland set up simulated mobile and desktop devices with different kinds of choice screens, a project spurred on by the EU's Digital Markets Act, which is going to mandate choice screens starting this year:

https://research.mozilla.org/browser-competition/choicescreen/

I'm spending this week reviewing choice screen literature, and I've just read the Mozilla paper, which I found very interesting, albeit limited. The biggest limitation is that the researchers are getting users to simulate setting up a new device and then asking them how satisfied they are with the experience. That's certainly a question worth researching, but a far more important question is "How do users feel about the setup choices they made later, after living with them on the devices they use every day?" Unfortunately, that's a much more expensive and difficult question to answer, and beyond the scope of this paper.

With that limitation in mind, I'm going to break down the paper's findings here and draw some conclusions about what we should be looking for in any kind of choice screen remedy that comes out of the DOJ antitrust victory over Google.

The first thing note is that people report liking choice screens. When users get to choose their browsers, they expect to be happy with that choice; by contrast, users are skeptical that they'll like the default browser the vendor chose for them. Users don't consider choice screens to be burdensome, and adding a choice screen doesn't appreciably increase setup time.

There are some nuances to this. Users like choice screens during device setup but they don't like choice screens that pop up the first time they use a browser. That makes total sense: "choosing a browser" is colorably part of the "setting up your gadget" task. By contrast, the first time you open a browser on a new device, it's probably to get something else done (e.g. look up how to install a piece of software you used on your old device) and being interrupted with a choice screen at that moment is an unwelcome interruption. This is the psychology behind those obnoxious cookie-consent pop-ups that website bombard you with when you first visit them: you've clicked to that website because you need something it has, and being stuck with a privacy opt-out screen at that moment is predictably frustrating (which is why companies do it, and also why the DMA is going to punish companies that do).

The researchers experimented with different kinds of choice screens, varying the number of browsers on offer and the amount of information given on each. Again, users report that they prefer more choices and more information, and indeed, more choice and more info is correlated with choosing indie, non-default browsers, but this effect size is small (<10%), and no matter what kind of choice screen users get, most of them come away from the experience without absorbing any knowledge about indie browsers.

The order in which browsers are presented has a much larger effect than how many browsers or how much detail is present. People say they want lots of choices, but they usually choose one of the first four options. That said, users who get choice screens say it changes which browser they'd choose as a default.

Some of these contradictions appear to stem from users' fuzziness on what "default browser" means. For an OS vendor, "default browser" is the browser that pops up when you click a link in an email or social media. For most users, "default browser" means "the browser pinned to my home screen."

Where does all this leave us? I think it cashes out to this: choice screens will probably make a appreciable, but not massive, difference in browser dominance. They're cheap to implement, have no major downsides, and are easy to monitor. Choice screens might be needed to address Chrome's dominance even if the court orders Google to break off Chrome and stand it up as a separate business (we don't want any browser monopolies, even if they're not owned by a search monopolist!). So yeah, we should probably make a lot of noise to the effect that the court should order a choice screen, as part of a remedy.

That choice screen should be presented during device setup, with the choices presented in random order – with this caveat: Chrome should never appear in the top four choices.

All of that would help address the browser duopoly, even if it doesn't solve it. I would love to see more market-share for Firefox, which is the browser I've used every day for more than a decade, on my laptop and my phone. Of course, Mozilla has a role to play here. The company says it's going to refocus on browser quality, at the expense of the various side-hustles it's tried, which have ranged from uninteresting to catastrophically flawed:

https://www.fastcompany.com/91167564/mozilla-wants-you-to-love-firefox-again

For example, there was the tool to automatically remove your information from scummy data brokers, that they outsourced to a scummy data-broker:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/22/24109116/mozilla-ends-onerep-data-removal-partnership

And there's the "Privacy Preserving Attribution" tracking system that helps advertisers target you with surveillance advertising (in a way that's less invasive than existing techniques). Mozilla rolled this into Firefox on an opt out basis, and made opting out absurdly complicated, suggesting that it knew that it was imposing something on its users that they wouldn't freely choose:

https://blog.privacyguides.org/2024/07/14/mozilla-disappoints-us-yet-again-2/

They've been committing these kinds of unforced errors for more than a decade, seeking some kind of balance between monopolistic web companies and its users' desire to have a browser that protects them from invasive and unfair practices:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/may/14/firefox-closed-source-drm-video-browser-cory-doctorow

These compromises represent the fallacy that Mozilla's future depends on keeping bullying entertainment companies and Big Tech happy, so it can go on serving its users. At the same time, these compromises have alienated Mozilla's core users, the technical people who were its fiercest evangelists. Those core users are the authority on technical questions for the normies in their life, and they know exactly how cursed it is for Moz to be making these awful compromises.

Moz has hemorrhaged users over the past decade, meaning they have even less leverage over the corporations demanding that they make more compromises. This sets up a doom loop: make a bad compromise, lose users, become more vulnerable to demands for even worse compromises. "This capitulation puts us in a great position to make a stand in some hypothetical future where we don't instantly capitulate again" is a pretty unconvincing proposition.

After the past decade's heartbreaks, seeing Moz under new leadership makes me cautiously hopeful. Like I say, I am dependent on Firefox and want an independent, principled browser vendor that sees their role as producing a "user agent" that is faithful to its users' interests above all else:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/07/treacherous-computing/#rewilding-the-internet

Of course, Moz depends on Google's payment for default search placement for 90% of its revenue. If Google can't pay for this in the future, the org is going to have to find another source of revenue. Perhaps that will be the EU, or foundations, or users. In any of these cases, the org will find it much easier to raise funds if it is standing up for its users – not compromising on their interests.

Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/12/defaults-matter/#make-up-your-mind-already

Image: ICMA Photos (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/icma/3635981474/

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

[blushweddinggowns]

When Nancy’s mom pulled her aside one day to ask her a favor, she never thought that it would involve tutoring the Steve Harrington. The basketball starter that had nearly every girl in their high school wrapped around his finger. 

And sure, Mrs. Harrington was offering some really good pay, but that didn’t mean she wanted to do it. Because Steve was…a lot. He was cocky, he was weirdly aggressive when it came to his drug dealer best friend, and if his grades and lack of self-control were anything to go by, he was also dumb as hell. 

Just because he was the hottest guy in school didn’t mean she wanted anything to do with him. But her mom didn’t really give her a choice, not when she had been vying for Mrs. Harrington’s friendship for years.

And that’s how she found herself on the Harrington doorstep on a Sunday, dreading how tedious trying to make someone with no attention span learn was going to be. She rang the doorbell, impatient for the whole thing to just be done with already. 

She was surprised when it was Eddie Munson who answered the door, clad in nothing but boxers and a t-shirt that Nancy was pretty sure belonged to Steve, unless he had been a secret swimming champion in 1982. For a split second she thought she was at the wrong house, until she remembered that Eddie was supposed to be living in a trailer park. 

He ran a hand through his messy hair, not even the slightest bit embarrassed to be caught without pants on at someone else’s house, “Uh, can I help you?”

“I’m here for Steve? Um, I’m his tutor? Nancy Wheeler?” She wasn’t sure why she said her own name like it was a question, but the way Eddie was staring her down had her uncharastically nervous. 

But his eyes brightened at the word tutor. He stepped aside to let her in, “Oh yeah! He told me that was today, I guess we just lost track of time. Wait here. I’ll go get him. You want a muffin? I literally just made them, unless you're allergic to chocolate? But if you’re not they’re like, really good, my uncle’s recipe so you can trust it.”

He was talking a mile a minute as he led her into the house, happy in a way she never would have expected from him. In school he was so…defensive. Always willing to cut down anyone who made a comment about his weird sense of style. And there was also the little known fact that he sold freaking ketamine in the woods behind school with a small history of violence and theft. She kind of thought that the drug dealer whose wardrobe half consisted of skulls wouldn’t be the type of guy to bake muffins. 

But that didn’t mean she didn’t want one. 

“Um, sure?” She said, jumping a little when Eddie suddenly tossed one her way. 

Before she could even say thank you he was two-stepping his way up the stairs, whistling a tune that Nancy couldn’t help but smile at. If Eddie Munson could be so nice, then the odds of Steve turning out to not be a total dick were looking pretty good.

She could hear him slam a door open upstairs, voice loud and obnoxious, “Time to wake up sunshine! You got some learning to do!”

Nancy wandered over to the stairs as she ate, happily surprised at just how good it was. She couldn't hear much else, just a few groans and some shuffling, then something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle before the two of them made their way back downstairs. 

Steve was just as disheveled as Eddie was, hair a mess as he blearily blinked into the light, like it wasn’t already noon. He at least had the decency to put on pants though, something that Eddie had decided was superfluous. 

He waved at her as they came down, at least apologetic, “Hi, I’m Steve. Sorry about that. I was up late last night doing- I mean watching movies. Kind of let the day get away from me a little bit.”

He put out his hand for Nancy to shake and she couldn’t help but notice just how big they were. She took it, suddenly a little flustered as she spoke, “Nancy. And we’ve uh, actually met before. Believe it or not.”

Steve blinked at her, mind obviously racing to try and figure out when he’d seen her before, “Please don’t tell me we used to date.”

“No we didn’t but- wait. You don’t remember all the girls you’ve dated?” Nancy raised a brow at him, suddenly a lot less impressed. Just how big of a player was this guy?

But at least he had the good grace to look embarrassed, “I-well, it’s not like that. I-”

Eddie put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him in the midst of his stuttering sentence, “Stevie, stop while you're ahead. Now go get some food so your brain can actually function.”

Surprisingly, Steve obeyed, just like that. He just nodded and puttered into the kitchen, leaving Eddie and Nancy to follow him. 

Eddie leaned over, stage-whispering in her ear, “He’s usually a lot more charming after he’s been conscious for more than 5 minutes. I swear.”

They rounded the corner, just in time to see Steve eat half a muffin in one bite. He moaned at the taste of it, and Nancy was suddenly blushing for the second time in one day. 

He smiled at Eddie, hearts in his eyes, “How are you so good at everything?”

Nancy was starting to understand why her mom always said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. If she didn’t know any better she’d say that Steve was seconds away from asking Eddie to ride into the sunset together. 

Eddie shrugged, even though his face was positively pleased. Steve finished the rest of it with a dreamy sigh, eyes still locked on Eddie.

“God, I love-” Steve coughed mid sentence, and for a second Nancy was sincerely worried that he had managed to choke on a piece of muffin. But the next moment he was fine, glancing over at her before straightening, “Uh, when my parents are gone. You can eat anything you want. Thanks for making them dude.”

Eddie snorted, barely managing to keep his laughter inside, “No problem, dude. But now that you're functioning I’ll let you guys get to it. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

Nancy wasn’t sure just what they would need him for, but Steve nodded anyway. It was almost weird, just how comfortable Eddie was in his house. She had half expected him to leave after he dragged Steve downstairs, especially since it was a school night, but the way he sprawled himself out on the couch said otherwise. 

They set themselves up at the kitchen table, Nancy with their biology book in hand and Steve with a second muffin. She cracked her book open, internally preparing herself for an afternoon of frustration. So imagine her surprise when none came. 

Because Steve Harrington was nothing like she expected. He wasn’t some undiscovered genius or anything, but he was diligent. He didn’t try to make a move on her, which her friends had definitely warned her about when they first heard she was tutoring him. He never got mad when he didn’t understand something, or even impatient. If anything he was just apologetic, a constant barrage of I’m sorry coming out of his mouth whenever he got something wrong that she already explained.

It was endearing to say the least. He even offered to drive her home after. She hadn’t realized that the offer included Eddie poking at him from the back seat and complaining about the music the whole ride home, but still. It was a nice gesture. 

When her mom asked her how it went she didn’t even have to lie. It went great. Not even on the whole he wasn’t a dick side of things. He was making ground when it came to his schoolwork, he just needed a little bit of extra attention. 

She found herself laying in bed that night with a smile on her face, more than excited to see Steve again. Maybe they’d even manage to get a little alone time, just so she could get to know him a bit better.

For strictly tutoring reasons, of course. 

~

Part 1.5 Part 2 Part 3

From an unpublished chapter of this fic (But I'll probably add part two and the reveal here because it kind of works with tumblr formatting!)

[florawrites-blog]

Jake and you had been at each other's throats for what felt like a week straight. The tension was thick enough to cut with a butter knife—and all of it started over one simple thing: your leftovers.

It wasn’t just any leftover meal; it was the crown jewel of your dining-out experiences. You had waited two grueling hours in line at that trendy little restaurant everyone raved about. Then, an additional hour just for your food to finally arrive at the table. When it did, the portions were laughably small—hardly enough to justify the ordeal. Still, the food was divine. A single bite felt like heaven on Earth, so you had made the difficult decision to save half of it for the next day.

The plan was simple: enjoy your prize after enduring yet another soul-sucking shift at work. Fantasizing about those leftovers was the only thing that got you through your day. But when you finally opened the fridge and reached for the container, your heart sank. All that greeted you was an empty plastic tray sitting mockingly on the table.

“JAKE!” you bellowed, your voice reverberating through the apartment.

He appeared in the doorway, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide with guilt. “What?” he asked, too innocently for your liking.

“You ate my leftovers, didn’t you?”

“What? Me? No—okay, yes, but in my defense, I was starving and—”

“You promised!” you interrupted, throwing your hands in the air. “I trusted you for once, and you betrayed me. Do you have any idea what I went through to get that food?”

From that moment on, the war began. The smallest disagreements escalated into full-blown arguments. For days, the apartment was a battleground of snide comments and petty actions.

Which brings us to tonight: The Couch Incident.

“Jake, move. That’s my side of the couch,” you said, glaring at him.

“Seriously? Can’t you just sit on the other side?” he replied, unfazed.

“Um, actually, I can’t sit on ‘your side,’ because it’s so worn down it feels like sitting in a ditch. Proof that you do nothing but sit on your ass all day while I do everything around here!”

“That’s a low blow, Y/N. Even for you,” Jake shot back, his tone dripping with indignation.

The two of you stared each other down like cowboys at high noon. Finally, Jake huffed, stood up, and relocated to the far side of the couch.

For a while, you stewed in your victory, basking in the reclaiming of your sacred spot. But as the minutes ticked by, guilt began to creep in. Maybe you had gone too far.

“Jake,” you mumbled, barely audible.

“What?” he grumbled, not even looking at you.

“I’m...sorry. This is stupid. I don’t even know why we’re fighting anymore.”

He sighed, finally turning to face you. “Yeah, me too. Over leftovers, really?”

You chuckled. “It was good food, though.”

“I know,” Jake said with a smirk. “That’s why I couldn’t resist.”

Later that evening, in an ironic twist of fate, you found yourselves at the same restaurant, eating the same dish you had fought over. This time, however, you made a pact to order two portions, ensuring no leftovers would be involved.

And just like that, the Great Leftover War came to an end, leaving behind only the memory of one truly ridiculous week.

[arjwrites]

Take A Picture, It'll Last Longer- Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: While hunting with the Winchesters, you had picked up a disposable camera to capture some memories. Each photo represented an important point in your collective journey- all the while, hinting at a budding connection behind the scenes.  Warnings: None! Largely gn, but reader is occasionally referred to as "she." Slight language here and there, mostly just silly fluff! A/N: Another idea of mine that has been kicking around for a while. I hope the Sam crew appreciates this! <3

“Alright boys, hold up those shovels!!” You were perched on top of a neighboring gravestone, disposable camera held close to your face.

“You’re kidding, right? We are literally desecrating a grave, and you’re snapping pictures? This could be used as evidence one day!” Of course Sam was throwing sass. He could never just sit there and look pretty for you.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta preserve this stuff for posterity! Sam and Dean Winchester, in their natural habitat!” you laughed. 

Dean, in sharp contrast to his brother’s protests, instantly struck a pose, slinging the shovel over one shoulder and gazing dramatically to the horizon like an action hero. Huffing, realizing he was outnumbered on this matter, Sam limply lifted the shovel in one hand, popped a thumbs-up with the other hand, and slapped a forced, sarcastic smile on his face.

“Perfect! Now they’ll also get to witness each of your unique brands of bullshit!” 

Sam crossed his arms in a (slightly) feigned offense, looking to Dean for backup. Dean simply shrugged- “I mean, she’s got us there. That’s pretty much our bullshit in a nutshell.” 

Sam fought hard to stifle the smile that was working its way to the surface. She knew them too well. 

–

“What are you looking at?” Your voice broke the silence that had been dragging on for longer than you even remembered. The question had came out a little sassy, which you didn’t intend, but you were feeling a little defensive. There was no way Sam was staring at you for any good reason. You were nested against the arm of one of the motel couches, piled high in lore books, researching while sporting an unbrushed head of hair and last night’s pajamas. It was noon. Not your best look. 

“Nothing, nothing. Sorry.” He held your gaze just a moment longer before returning to his work, smiling down into his laptop. You hummed, satisfied, until you felt his eyes peek back up at you. 

“Hey, take a picture, Winchester! It’ll last longer!” You laughed, hiding your hint of insecurity with a bit of sass. It was a joke- completely a joke, and you thought Sam had taken it as such, until…

“You know what? You’re right. Don’t move a muscle.” Sam held his hands out as if to freeze you in your current position, turning on the dramatics as he backed away slowly before spinning on his heels to run to your side of the room.   

“Sam-”

“I said don’t move!” He taunted over his shoulder. 

You heard Sam rustling through your bag, but you didn’t dare turn to look- you figured you’d humor him and comply with the ridiculous request. Sam returned to his perch on the couch across from you, a grin adorning his face and the camera looking comically small in his large hand. He cranked the dial, lined it up with his right eye, and called out- “Say cheese!”

“Cheeeeeese!” You laughed, bathing in the blinding brightness- both from the camera’s flash and Sam’s mile-wide smile. If only the photo had been captured from your point of view- you could stare at that face forever. 

–

“Alright everyone, gather around!” Dinner was finished, the dishes were done, a fresh round of beers were cracked. What better time for you to call for a little family photo?

“Here we go again with the paparazzi,” Bobby gruffed, ruffling your hair as he passed you. 

“Excuse me, it’s called being the family historian. We need to record this touching memory!” 

“Alright alright, get over here, everyone,” scolded Sam with a lighthearted tone. Having him on your side was helpful- his long arms corralled the whole crew with ease, gathering everyone in front of the couch. You smiled a silent thank you, and he winked at you in return, sending your heart aflutter. 

While the team of men behind you figured out the ideal photo formation amongst themselves, you prepped the camera, winding the dial and propping it up on the tv stand while making sure to get the angle just right. After this there would only be one picture left on the camera- you had to make sure to save it for something really good. 

Dean stood behind the couch, arms draped over the shoulders of Bobby to his left and Cas to his right. While Dean was already cheesing, Bobby and Cas weren’t quite as natural in front of the camera- it was taking them a second to settle in. Sam, however, was sat down on the couch, arms outstretched to beckon you in. Eager to get the picture taken, you clicked the button to trigger the countdown.

“Alright, we’ve got ten seconds everyone!” You raced over to plop yourself down next to Sam, who almost instictively wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in as close as possible. You tensed a bit, nerves on fire due to your intimate proximity to him, but your face beamed with joy. In the last few seconds before the photo snapped, Sam pressed a sneaky, soft kiss to the side of your head, returning to his former pose just before the final flash went off. Though you were able to calm your bugging eyes in the nick of time, there was little you could to stop the searing heat that flushed to your cheeks. God, you hoped that wouldn’t show up in the picture.

–

It had been a few months since any of you had so much as thought about that camera. Life had gotten a bit busy, to say the least. The end of the world had brought with it plenty of trials and tribulations, and left very little time for photo ops. That being said, you had finally reached a long awaited moment of peace. Things had died down, and there was a brief moment for you and the Winchesters to catch your breath and lay low for a bit. 

It was well past midnight, and a quiet had fallen over the bunker- not the usual tense, fearful, impending-doom type of quiet. This was much more peaceful. Typically, at this hour of the night, the three of you would still be up researching or figuring out plans for your next move. Tonight, however, Dean had been able to hole himself up in his room for a while, trying to get some kind of sleep, which wasn’t usually an option for him. After dozing off and on unsuccessfully for a few hours, he emerged from his room, in search of something he knew would help knock him right out- a snack. 

Drudging down the hall, Dean was drawn away from his intended destination after noticing the blue glow and soft buzz still emitting from the television. Thinking Sam had left it on before heading to bed, Dean rerouted his path in order to switch it off, mumbling to himself that this was not his job. His frustration remained up until he was able to fully take in the scene in front of him. There on the couch lay you and Sam, fast asleep. Sam’s massive frame dwarfed yours as he held you from behind, face firmly planted in your hair. One of your arms curved in front of you to wrap itself around Sam’s, and the other flopped off the couch, the TV remote dangling loosely in your grasp. Dean felt far too sappy even thinking it, but he could’ve sworn he had never seen either of you two so peaceful. 

After smiling down on the two of you for a few seconds shy of creepy, Dean had a realization. He tiptoed out, careful not to disturb you two, and beelined for a little something he had recently discovered, stashed in a junk drawer. The disposable camera, long forgotten, with only the space for one serendipitous photo remaining. “Finally, you two,” Dean whispered, punctuating his sentence with the quiet click of the camera. He’d been betting on this for months, and now, you and Sam could never live it down.

[robinsno1lesbian]

hey, hey!! hope you’re doing well <3

i have a blurb request! maybe a lil ronance x reader thing where r is feeling insecure that she isn’t loving them equally and hard enough, so they both remind her that she is being the best girlfriend to each of them <3

𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

- ronance x reader

summary: after going to university with one of your girlfriends, you worry that robin might feel lonely back in hawkins.

warnings: fluff fluff fluff, pet names (baby love, my girls, love), established poly relationship, i -once again- did not beta read this, i do want to mention that i’m not poly myself! so if there’s anything in this that isn’t accurate to the actual experience or if there’s anything wrong with the terminology, please let me know!! :)

a/n: @eds6ngel thank you so much for your request!! i really hope this is what you had in mind for this! it’s basically a little hurt with looots of comfort! it kind of turned into ronance comforting r about their dynamic, i hope that’s what you had in mind! <3

you’re hanging on the telephone, trying to make the minutes of the call last. you’re curling the cord of it around your index finger absentmindedly, your legs draped over nancy’s lap on the semi-comfortable bed of your shared dorm room.

she has already talked to your girlfriend, who’s currently rambling on about her shift with steve, and has handed you the telephone to get a taste of robin’s adorable rambling as well.

you’re still new to this. to them.

not dating in general; you did have somewhat of a girlfriend back when all three of you still lived in hawkins. so you’re not new to your sexuality or the fact that you love women. it’s the dynamic that’s new to you.

when you met robin and nancy, you quickly figured them out. in their defense they were trying to be sneaky about it, presumably expecting you to be as oblivious to it as everyone else around. unaware that you knew the hiding, the stealing kisses and loving in secrecy. that you experienced it yourself and saw it in them immediately.

how exactly it happened, neither of the 3 of you can recall. maybe it was between the glances you shared, the way they caught you staring at their proximity. perhaps it happened because of the lingering touches: robin’s hand on your waist when moving past you, nancy’s palm brushing over your own whilst praising you for your relentless, determined studying. or maybe it was none of these at all. maybe it was when you had the wheeler’s basement all to yourselves and one shared bottle of liquor turned into two, which led to your fumbling confession of the confusing feelings you had developed for both women.

they were not confusing at all, as it turns out. loving them both came to you easy. easier than anything you could’ve ever imagined before.

there was still lots of secrecy to it, as to be expected from dating two women in hawkins, indiana, in 1986. but they weren’t scared to love you, like your previous lover had been. they weren’t afraid of loving you at all. if anything, they were proud of having you as theirs.

what started as “trying it out” ended up with waking to the soft, floral scent of nancy’s sheets, sandwiched between two warm bodies. it ended up with shared kisses in the morning, at noon and in the evening too. two pair of shoes by the door turned into three. three toothbrushes in the bathroom, three plates set up for breakfast. three bodies curled up in bed together.

it ended up with the most loving relationship you could’ve ever wished for.

and it was perfect, even with the limited time the three of you had been given in hawkins together:

the plan had been settled before. when you’d been just a friend to the couple and nancy had asked you to share a dorm at university. you had obviously accepted, happy to have someone there with you, someone who wasn’t a stranger. robin would stay in hawkins, save up money to go to europe and work shifts at family video with steve. and you & nancy would leave, study at emerson together and become roommates.

now you’re in said room, close to nancy, and wishing robin could be here with the two of you. to have more of her than just the voice through the receiver.

“so anyway!” the girl tells you. “i told steve not flirt with her because -duh?- she’s heidi’s mother but he didn’t know that so-“

her voice sounds raspier than usual through the static of the receiver. she sounds happy. and, god, you hope she is. you don’t want her to feel left out, like you’ve left her behind in hawkins to be with nancy. you know that, rationally speaking, robin is okay. she misses you, of course. how couldn’t she? you’re her girls after all. but she’s happy that you get to pursue your dream while she works on her own from home.

still, you can’t help the nagging feeling that you’re not being fair. that you’re not loving them equally; the way they both deserve to be loved.

“hellooo?” her voice snaps you back to reality. “y/n? you still there?”

“yes!” you snap out of your thoughts suddenly. nancy notices and looks up from the book she’d been reading. “yes! of course! yes! sorry. steve was flirting with heidi’s mom?”

“he was!” robin nods, her smile evident in the sound of her voice. “he so was and he didn’t even know!”

you chuckle, accompanied by a gentle shake of your head. “typical steve move”

“that’s what i said too!”

the two of you share a moment of laughter over the phone before robin trails off.

“i miss you” she whispers.

“we miss you too!” you assure her immediately. “but summer break is right around the corner. then we’ll be back with you!”

robin hums her agreement. “yeah. i can’t wait to see mes filles”

you smile at the way she pronounces the foreign word. she’s already made plenty of use of the french dictionary you gave her when you left.

“your…?”

you can practically hear her beaming through the telephone. it makes you smile. “mes filles!” she repeats, slower this time. “my girls”.

“your girls” you repeat softly, just a breath, but robin seems to pick it up anyway.

“i can’t wait to see you” she says. “i love you”

“i love you too, take care of hawkins while we’re gone yeah?”

“will do” she assures you. “I’ll see you”

you blow her a kiss through the speaker before you say your goodbyes and hang up.

nancy is by your side immediately, nudging your leg softly.

“hm?” you snap out of your thoughtful trance and look up at her.

“what’s up with you, love?” nancy asks gently, and puts her book down. “you seem…?” she trails off.

you huff. of course nancy would notice. she’s majoring in investigative journalism after all.

“it’s just-“ you sigh. now nancy’s sits up, your vagueness alarming to her. she wraps an arm over your shoulder and pulls you against her body soothingly.

“hm?” she kisses your temple, her index tracing the moles on your arm.

“i don’t want her to feel alone” you admit under your breath. “robin. i don’t want her to feel like we’re leaving her behind in hawkins”

“oh baby love” nancy says, her lips ghosting over the side of your face. her grip tightens around your body too, pulling you closer to her.

“it’s just-“ you sigh. “i love her. just like i love you. but you’re here and she’s not and- and i feel like it’s obviously harder to show her all that love i have for her. at least from afar. but i want her to feel it! i want her to feel loved”

“she does” nancy softly interrupts your train of thought. “she feels loved baby! you have like- the biggest heart ever! it’s hard not to feel loved when it’s you”

you still smile against the odds of it all when your girlfriend speaks so fondly of you.

“she knows she’s loved, y/n” nancy says, slightly more firm this time. “we knew it would be like this. and of course the distance sucks! i wanna love both of my girls from up close too!”

you can’t help but chuckle a little and nancy side eyes you.

“pervert” she whispers under her breath, followed by another kiss to your face. “it’ll be easier once we’re all together again. but she loves us. so much”

it’s enough to ease your worries for now. you know, of course, that the love for the two of them will be enough too. it’ll always be enough.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

“y/n!!” a voice that is unmistakably robin’s calls over the airport lounge.

it’s hot in Indiana, warmer than it had been when you boarded the plane in massachusetts. robin is wearing a pair of loose shorts, presumably steve’s with how low they’re sitting around her waist. she’s got her short hair up in a messy bun, and her arms spread for you and nancy.

you drop your suitcase immediately, already chasing towards her with open arms. you’re squealing like a little child when you finally find yourself back in the taller girl’s embrace. nancy joins the two of you just a couple of seconds later, just as long as it took her to catch up with you.

“hi” robin whispers against your hair. she can’t be overly affectionate with the two of you yet, at least not as much as she wants to be, but her arms around your body are enough to finally soothe the ache her absence had left in you.

“hey” you whisper against her neck. hidden from the sight of anyone who might pass by, you press a quick kiss to the side of her neck. robin responds with a low hum.

“is she teasing already?” nancy smirks from behind you and the three of you loosen the hug enough for robin to present two separate flower bouquets: one of nancy’s favorite flowers, one of yours.

“robin” nancy says. “you didn’t have to!”

“i know” robin shrugs casually. “wanted too, though. my girls made it through their first year at emerson! how cool’s that huh? god i’m so proud of you. i could kiss you right now. i would. i really want to, to be honest. but- you know” she gestures around. you and nancy both share a grin. robin hasn’t changed at all.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

once you’re behind the closed doors of robin’s house, the girl is all over the two of you -and you’d be lying if you weren’t all over her too.

she’s got an arm draped over each of your shoulders, alternating between placing kisses to your temple and nancy’s cheek, joined with sweet whispers of: “missed you. missed you so so much”

you don’t even have time to properly unpack your luggage before you find yourself in robin’s bed. she had to size up ever since you’ve gotten together, saving up money to replace her small single bed with a queen sized one to make enough room. she’d done it happily, had been bouncing off the walls the day you were putting together the new furniture.

she’s sandwiched between your bodies, lying in your middle and curling against the two of you happily.

“wanna spend forever like this” she tells you. nancy chuckles and you grin.

robin turns her head to look over at you. you can feel her watchful gaze studying your side profile.

“hey” she whispers, nudging you with her shoulder. you turn over at her. nancy is watching you too. you know, right in that moment, that she must’ve told robin about your worries. you’re not gonna hold it against her, exactly. if anything, you’re happy nancy has told her. you doubt you would’ve found the words to express your feelings to her.

“hm?”

“you know” robin says, simultaneously reaching for your hand to rub your knuckles with her thumb. “i am so lucky to have you. to be loved by you. the two of you.”

“me too” you tell her quietly.

“you don’t have to worry, baby” she continues “about…me not feeling loved enough. or whatever it is you worry about in that brilliant mind of yours”

nancy smiles from behind robin. she’s holding her free hand as she speaks.

“even with the distance?” you whisper softly, chewing your lower lip absentmindedly. robin reaches out, gently pulls your lower lip down from between your front teeth before kissing your mouth gently.

“even with the distance. with everything.”

she mumbles against your mouth. she has crawled closer, but nancy has followed immediately and is now spooning her from behind.

“you’re my girls. you really think some stupid amount of distance would change that?“

a smile makes its way upon your features. she’s right, of course. your love for the two girls in robin’s bed isn’t limited to their physical presence. it couldn’t be.

“i love it even more when i have you both here with me, though” she grins and wraps her arms around your waist to pull you on top of her. nancy giggles behind her, her arms coming up from behind her to hug the two of you

“sure?” you ask.

“1000%. i’ll make sure you guys have the best vacation in hawkins. well. as good as possible. we’re in hawkins after all.” robin scrunches up the freckled bridge of her nose.

“we’ll make it work” nancy chimes in, brushing robin’s hair behind her ear.

it’s new, to all three of you. but you know, right then and there, that it will be okay. that everything will work out just fine, no matter what.

[kickbackkanzaki]

Pomegranate Seeds and Black Roses

Diana, the daughter of Lucilla and Acacius becomes an obsession for Emperor Geta. As rebellion in the colosseum rises and danger stalks her family Diana must outmanoeuvre her enemies to keep her loved ones alive.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

No one would have thought Lucilla worried to look at her. The mask of absolute calm she'd moulded over a lifetime of violence and political intrigue had fooled both the intelligent and powerful many times.

When their escort had mounted their horses outside the villa their lady had seemed so unapprehensive they wondered why she was interrupting her evening routine to attend a party. She seemed entirely uninterested in the occasion.

They expected some sign of worry about stepping back into the Imperial court. Everyone knew the emperors' reputation for quick tempers and violent moods but Lucilla stepped into the carriage with no apparent concern.

On the inside however anxiety was clutching at her lungs trying to suffocate her.

"We should have gone to the coast," she lamented aloud as the carriage rocked along the road.

"It doesn't matter mother," the young woman beside her said calmly. "They would have summond you no matter where we were. Noone can refuse the emperors' call."

"Did you have enough to eat at dinner? You left some bread on the table," Lucilla's question came fast as she shifted her worry to her daughter.

"It's warm today," Diana explained calmly. "I lose my appetite in warm weather, you know this."

"We should have brought some water with us," Lucilla chided her own lack of forethought. "You'll get a headache."

"We'll be there soon," her daughter assured her. "I'll have water when we arrive."

The gold bangles around Lucilla's wrist jangled as she reached over and held her hand to Diana's cheek.

"You're still looking pale," she declared stiffly when she felt no fever. "Are you sure you're not feeling faint?"

Diana pushed her mouth into an annoyed line and crossed her arms. She knew Lucilla was anxious, she always was when Acacius was away, but she resented being treated like an invalid.

Diana disliked these summons too but she couldn't deny the curiosity she felt. For nearly fourteen years she had lived only a few miles outside the city but had never passed through its walls.

She wanted to see the famed pinnacle of civilisation with its libraries, museums, temples and other splendours. Both her parents had dedicated their lives to this place and she wanted to discover what about it inspired such devotion and reverence.

"I still think the green was nicer," Diana jumped to a new conversation to lighten the mood.

She was pulling gently at the lavender cloth of her new dress. Several bolts had been brought to their villa but Lucilla had ordered the simplest design with a matching ribbon to hold her long hair back.

While she herself was adored in luxurious silks and eye catching jewellery Diana wore no decoration with just a light layer of cosmetics to brighten her skin.

"It was too bold," her mother sat back against her seat defeated. "It would have called too much attention to yourself."

"What is wrong with that?" Diana asked innocently.

Lucilla snapped her head around to stare Diana straight in her green eyes.

"You must be forgettable!" Lucilla admonished and Diana retracted a little. "You'll only be safe that way."

"We're going to a party mother," she answered defensively. "No one goes unnoticed. People always prowl and pry."

"I don't think you fully comprehend how dangerous Rome can be," Lucilla explained with some exhaustion. "It's a grass infested with hidden vipers and quicksand. Everyone is waiting for you to stumble, show weakness or manipulate you. It's almost impossible to know who you can trust."

"You've protected me from the worst of it," Diana admitted, "but I'm aware of the danger mother. I overhear you and father talk more than you realise."

Lucilla felt a pang of guilt then. She had always thwarted any inference that her daughter's condition made her stupid but there had been times she hoped Diana too simple to follow the hushed conversations she had with her husband.

She had not wanted it with malice but for her beloved child's safety. No one would suspect a simpleton of dissent if their family ever came under suspicion. Lucilla had already lost one child to the dangers of Roman royalty, she would not lose another.

Unable to show Diana her guilt Lucilla focused her gaze on the far wall of the carriage. A shadow passed over the shuttered windows and she knew they had passed under the arch outside the city. The crowds gathered to gawk at the distinguished party guests would slow their progress but wouldn't delay their arrival long.

She felt no joy returning to her former home. The years of delight and safety with her father and Lucius were eclipsed by the terror of her brother and the nefarious schemes of senators.

Suddenly she felt a warm hand squeeze her fingers and she turned to see her daughter looking at her with a soothing expression.

"I will be careful mother I promise."

Lucilla lifted the unadorned hand to her painted lips and kissed it gently. She had never thought she could love an adopted child as much as one from her womb but Lucilla barely remembered Diana was not her own.

"You're right," Lucilla said as she pulled Diana close to kiss her temple. "Everything will be fine."

They stayed huddled together on the carriage seat until the horses pulled up and a pretorian guard opened the door. He looked them over with a cold expression then satisfied, nodded to their attendants.

The women alighted and joined a small group of guests walking together to the palace stairs.

Diana had been told to act indifferent towards the city's splendors but she couldn't help staring. Lucilla had shown her drawings and told her stories of the imperial palace as a youth but the sight was beyond her imagination.

Even in the dying light the royal structure dominated the sky, it's sheer magnitude striking Diana dumb. Every stone had been laid with perfect precision and the imposing columns reached high to hold the magnificent structure above everything in Rome. Lights glowed from inside the multitude of rooms like braziers aboard ships anchored in a bay.

Even when she was small Diana knew she lived better than most. The villa on the hill had shadowed the tiny houses beneath it but she had never thought a marvel like this possible.

"Equisite is it not?" Senator Gracchus asked smiling kindly at her awe.

"This must be how the chickens feel looking at us from their coop," Diana replied with a delighted smile.

'So young,' Gracchus thought with some unease. 'She will learn.'

Gracchus was one of the few confidants Lucilla and Acacius had introduced to Diana when Acacius had carried her home on his stallion.

He thought her bright and kind but worried her parents had sheltered her too much from the world.

Most girls her age had been sent to Rome by now to meet suitors and learn the rules of society but Diana had been kept home to study the great writings and tend her pets.

"I will watch over her tonight," Gracchus assured Lucilla when Diana turned her wide eyes back to the palace.

"Gratitude Gracchus," Lucilla whispered and lightly touched her daughter's arm to lead her inside.

As they proceeded through the labyrinth of halls Diana's head was constantly twisting to see the wonderous artifacts decorating the halls.

Busts of past emperors, art from across the seas and bronzed weapons of Roman heroes. Diana could hear a rumble of voices rising and she stopped marvelling to set her face into impassiveness.

'If the book is closed no one can read it,' she remembered her father saying and she always followed his logic.

The three of them entered the hall together and Diana was almost overwhelmed by the mass of people.

The richest people in Rome were squeezed into the hall together draped in the finest garments twinkling with gold and precious gems. With their heavily painted faces and high voices Diana couldn't separate one person from another. They didn't even sound like people, they were a swarm of wasps - hovering together tightly and buzzing loudly.

With heads bent in submission slaves passed through the crowd offering wine and refreshments to the greedy guests who consumed them with gusto.

"This is horrible," Diana blurted but she went unheard over the deafening din. Her nose crinkled in revulsion as she watched the party goers gobble their food and paw each other lustily.

How could a place so beautiful house such disgusting creatures?

'It's a gilded sty,' she thought in disgust.

The red garb of a pretorian guard striding through the crowd caught her eye and she unlinked her arm from Lucilla's. Taking a step back Diana bowed her head to the guard so he'd mistake her for a handmaid.

"The Emperors request your company my lady," the pretorian said after crossing his arm over his chest in salute. "I will escort you."

"Of course," Lucilla heard the command in his voice and followed him obediently as Diana and Gracchus moved stealthily behind a column.

They both watched covertly as the crowd parted to permit Lucilla passage. Some had the decency to bow their heads in respect while others assessed the princess with critical eyes.

'Swine,' Diana thought with irritation as she saw people whisper behind their raised wine glasses.

The hall was so wide Diana had to stand on her toes to keep her eyes on Lucilla as she approached the Emperors' seat.

The brothers sat beside each other on identical thrones surrounded by their entourage. The taller, Geta Diana supposed, had a woman draped across the back of his seat with her hand stroking his open robe.

Caracalla sat slumped like a sulky child biting his nails. At his feet a pile of painted harlots of all genders sat like lapdogs waiting for affection.

"Are they as people say?" Diana asked as the brothers spoke to Lucilla.

"The young Emperors are passionate about expanding the Empire," Gracchus chose his words carefully. "They wish to honour their father's legacy."

Diana saw through his masked statement and nodded. Their rulers loved war and conquest and maintained their power through cruelty as Septimius had.

"Come Diana," Gracchus said kindly after Lucilla had taken a seat beside their rulers. "Let me introduce you to better company."

Diana nodded and reached out her hand but froze when someone spoke behind her.

"I had heard General Acacius kept a rare jewel guarded in his villa but I did not expect you to be so stunning," an oily voice remarked.

"Who are you?" Diana demanded to know.

She didn't recognise the flatterer and narrowed her emerald eyes suspiciously. Her father had always warned her to beware the sweet words of perfumed men.

"Allow me to introduce Senator Pullo," Senator Gracchus intervened before his slippery colleague could speak. "Senator, this is Diana, daughter of Lucilla Auruelius."

"My lady," Pullo dipped forward from his waist and grinned in a way he thought was convincingly charming.

"You're very young to be a senator,' Diana remarked as she took him.

Pullo stood taller than she and Gracchus with pale blonde hair and blue eyes. Diana supposed him handsome but there was something about his smile that didn't ring true. It reminded her of the masks the players wore in the Greek plays, carved into exaggerated expressions of joy.

"Senator Pullo is from a long line of distinguished senators," Gracchus explained before Pullo could begin. "His family is nearly as old as Rome itself."

Diana understood the inference between the facts. Money and name had gotten Pullo his position, not loyal work or the people's approval.

"I need some air," Diana declared and nodded to Gracchus.

"Perhaps we can talk another time?" Pullo suggested still wearing the false smile.

"Doubtful. I don't like you," Diana said promptly and walked away without excusing herself.

"She is strange," Pullo remarked as he watched her go out to the gardens and snatched a goblet of wine from a passing slave.

"Quite the contrary," Gracchus replied boldly. "I believe the young lady to be a fine judge of character. Good evening Pullo."

Once outside Diana took in a deep breath of night air and exhaled all the noise and outrageousness she'd absorbed in the hall. The tingling in her ears abated after a moment and she put her nose in a nearby flower to refresh her senses.

She was downhearted to have found Rome was not the utopia she had dreamed of but she felt more vexed than disappointed. Seeing her wise, dignified mother forced to consort with such hedonist pretenders made her angry.

No one in that room had done half as much for the empire as her parents. They were people who performed the noblest of deeds without reward while their inferiors spoiled themselves at parties.

Diana soon found herself at a bench and lay down on the cool slab. Above her the nearly full moon glowed brightly and she remembered one night long ago when she couldn't sleep because her father was departing for war at daybreak.

'If I am ever away from you look to the moon,' Acacius had told her pulling the blankets up to her chin. 'I will be looking at the same moon and thinking of you too little chick.'

Was he alright? No news had come since the fleet had set sail weeks ago. His departures never became easier, Diana always felt his absence in the empty chairs and silent halls of the villa. She supposed someone at the party might have news but she doubted their information would be freely given.

Diana became dozy in the moon's light listening to the choir of crickets. She wondered how much longer the emperors would keep Lucilla when a scream split through the dark.

Diana sat bolt up and looked around wildly for the source.

Another scream rippled across the dark and Diana ran in its direction with no plan in mind. All she knew was someone was hurt and no help was coming, the party goers wouldn't have heard anything over their own malarkey.

Another scream told her she was close and this time she could hear hear babbled pleas.

Someone was holding a hunched figure by the hair and something in their other hand. The dark hid their faces but the moonlight caught the golden laurel through the orange hair.

"Stop this!" Diana screamed hoping someone would hear and come to her aid.

"I'm going slice this traitor's lying throat!" Caracalla's high pitched scream made the slave wail and he lent down to strike.

"You wont hurt him," Diana pushed the words out before cowardice stopped her.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?!" Caracalla roared pointing the knife at her and yanked the poor boy's head back harder.

"A friend to the Emperor," Diana stammered. "One who knows his magnanimity and divine wisdom. An emperor who would rather save a life than take it."

Diana was brazenly lying but her flattery had stilled the blade. She glanced down at the captive boy and saw his eyes pleading her for rescue. She couldn't stop now.

"He's been poisoning me!" Caracalla hissed, his eyes wild like a cornered field mouse. "Making me weak for my enemies! They want to overthrow me for my brother!"

"Look at him my lord" Diana lowered her voice to a soothing tone. "He's terrified. He doesn't have the temerity to do something so vile. You mistake him."

Caracalla flicked his twitching eyes to the trembling catamite then back to Diana. He didn't know her, she had no right to command him but she had appeared from the ether like a guiding goddess to preach wisdom. Should he ignore her?

"Please Your Greatness," Diana slowly bent her knees to the ground. "Show me the benevolent and wise ruler I know you to be."

She lowered her forehead to the cold stone and spread her arms wide in full prostration squeezing her eyes shut. With rattling breath she waited in the silence. Waited for the slave's death rattle, for Caracalla's scream, for the knife to stab her in a frenzy.

Powerless, she surrendered herself to the fates.

Suddenly there was a clatter near her ear and something smashed into her side knocking her over.

The slave had run into her as he fled and the knife lay nearby rocking back on forth on its rounded cross guard in a threatening motion.

Diana moved to stand but Caracalla fell onto her and wrapped her in a death grip. His shrill wails sounded like a snared rabbit shrieking for help and made her eardrums ache.

Suddenly Diana was more afraid than when he held the knife. She felt his chewed nails scratching her back as he twisted her dress with his fingers and the stench of his breath.

Her skin dampened as Caracalla wept and slobbered into her neck and she had to fortify her resolve not to recoil.

She hadn't spent any time around children and had never been a hysterical youngster so she didn't know how to react to these wild emotions.

But she did recall cut knees and grief bringing tears to her eyes and remembered how Lucilla would soothe her.

She slipped her weak arms around the sobbing man and rested her cheek on his hair. The moonlight had dulled his golden laurel to a dim bronze and the sharp leaves scratched her cheek but she ignored the discomfort.

"I want them to love me!"

"Of course you do," Diana soothed and she stroked his short cropped hair. "We all want to be loved."

"Everyone wants me to fail! The people, the senate even my own brother! I hear them conspiring in corners and see them passing messages. They want to cut me down!"

"There are no conspiracies sire," Diana assured him kindly. "Your mind is tired. An entire empire weighs on your mind and it is sometimes more than you can take."

Caracalla's moaning came to a stop and he pulled his face from Diana's soaked dress.

"Truly?" his puffy eyes begged as he looked up her. "I'm tired?"

"Yes sire," Diana nodded and left her hand rest on ill man's shoulder. "A ruler needs rest."

"Are you a goddess?"

"No sire, I am your loyal servant."

Diana began to worry again, if Caracalla fell into fantasy he might reach for the knife.

Caracalla reached his filthy fingers up and pulled the skin under her eyes.

"How can a face so young have eyes so old?" He whispered trying to find the answer in her exposed eyeballs.

"You must rest sire," Diana repeated as her eyes stung and began watering.

"Yes, yes," Caracalla whispered to himself and let her face go. "A ruler needs rest."

Then he stood up so suddenly Diana fell back in alarm but Caracalla's grabbed her dress.

"Come to bed with me," he pleaded sulkily.

"I should return to the party sire," Diana declined as politely as she could. "My mother is waiting for me."

The weeping boy's face twisted into an expression of cruel dominance and Diana felt her stomach freeze with fear. Even a rabid animal wasn't so quick to temper as this Emperor was.

"Come to bed with me!" Caracalla yelled spraying her face in spit and clenched her dress so tightly Diana could feel his rings making imprints in her belly.

The saliva on her face was drying cold and sent a chill through her skin. His teeth reeked of sweet foods and red wine and his eyelids red from weeping now seemed ablaze with fury.

Diana was sure if the knife was still in his hand he would have held it to her throat. Then again maybe Caracalla didn't need a knife, she had heard the stories of him throwing men out of windows and damning former friends to the gladiator arena. Laughing hysterically as they were devoured mercilessly by animals.

"As you wish sire," Diana fought to keep her voice steady.

She knew she didn't possess the strength to fight him and if she fled Caracalla would have her dragged back by her hair. Anything that happened in Rome only did by the consent of royalty.

Caracalla's face morphed to one of pleasure and flashed his wine stained teeth in a maniacal smile.

"Come, come," he cooed and took Diana by her hand like a child leading his new playmate to the nursery.

Diana's sandals shuffled slowly hoping the longer she delayed their arrival the better chance someone would pass and intervene. But the gardens were empty and Caracalla steered them away from the party where Lucilla was held hostage.

If anyone could have coerced the emperor into releasing her it would have been her mother, the consummate diplomat. Maybe Senator Gracchas had noticed her prolonged absence and would seek her out.

But he didn't. Caracalla pulled Diana down halls she didn't recognise from before. They came to a room protected by two guards but they paid her no notice, just opened the doors without request.

"Fetch me some wine," he ordered the slave standing ready in the corner and finally released Diana's hand.

With his back turned Diana wiped her sweaty palm against her dress and took in the room with wide eyes. Her family well but she had never seen a bedroom so lavishly decorated.

Drapes woven with golden threads, chairs hand carved with intricate patterns and a bed big enough for a family. Diana pulled her eyes away from the silk sheets and refocused on her captor who was petting a tiny monkey on the dresser.

Caracalla removed his laurel crown and entertained the monkey with the rings he twisted off his fingers. The primate's little fingers played with the priceless jewellery like a toy and Diana swallowed nervously thinking perhaps Caracalla saw her the same way. Dundus sank his sharp canine into a gemstone and Diana's whole body clenched.

She wasn't afraid of brutality or rape but of consequences. Her feline eyes had taken in more than the decor when she'd looked around the room, she had been counting how many nearby objects could be used as weapons.

It was death to harm a royal but Diana knew she couldn't be yielding to assault from anyone. It was against every basic instinct she had. Survival had always been her skill.

"Lie on the bed," Caracalla told her when he finally lost interest in his pet.

Diana did not protest and sat herself on the luxurious bed with the mound of pillows behind her back. If need be she could pull one out and smother her assailant.

Without bothering to remove his regalia Caracalla flopped by her side and rested his acne ridden face on her breasts like an infant drunk on milk. His arm encircled her waist and Diana fought to supress her revulsion.

His weight was stifling and his touch sent tremors of disgust through her but Caracalla didn't notice. He made a contented humming noise as he snuggled into her and didn't acknowledge the slave returning with the wine.

Diana tried to catch her notice with her pleading eyes but the slave deliberately ignored her. The glasses and wine pitcher were placed on the bedside table with such care and deliberateness Diana knew she would not dare do anything she wasn't ordered. Terror was a tight collar.

When the slave turned Diana glanced furtively down at the slumbering boy then slowly reached for an ornate wine glass. She tested its resistance with a small squeeze then carefully tucked it beneath her pillow and lent back until she heard a muffled crunch.

Caracalla didn't flinch and her racing heart slowed a beat. The broken glass wouldn't be enough to pierce his artery but with his hysterical tendencies Caracalla would likely scream loud enough at a bleeding cut to raise alarm. Then would be her chance to slip past the guards back to her mother's protection.

'Mother,' Diana lamented silently and suddenly felt a sharp tension in her temples.

'No!' she panicked as the invisible vice clamped around her head and spots of light danced in front of her eyes.

'Calm down, calm down!' she commanded herself but every time Caracalla shifted in his sleep her muscles tensed and a wave of pain rippled through her head.

Diana forced her eyes closed to block out the room but the strange lights still flashed bright behind her eyelids. The pain was now coming in regular waves and she exhaled her suppressed yells through her nose.

It was too late for a tonic now even if she could obtain one. Her jaw clenched as the invisible vice wound tighter around her skull.

'Pain passes, pain passes,' she recited to herself and tried to block out the foul stench of Caracalla's drool puddling on her chest.

Her body was trapped in that room but her thoughts tried to overcome the pain. She remembered the seaside villa Acacias had taken them to on his last return, learning letters with Lucilla's hand wrapped around her own as the quill wobbled, the chickens she'd kept as a child and her sister's laugh.

When the migraines came the minutes stretched endlessly so Diana didn't know how long she lay there captive. Her mind was far away in the past when she felt a hand covering her mouth.

Her eyes snapped open and found the room had dimmed to a faint glow, the lamps having burnt low. It took her blurred vision a moment to focus on Emperor Geta leaning over her with a finger to his lips and brown eyes commanding her obedience.

Diana's breathing heightened as she panicked and the fingers over her mouth squeezed tighter. Geta loomed over her with menace and she knew she had to obey. She feared Caracalla's mercurial madness but she didn't know what Geta was capable of and that scared her more.

When her breathing steadied her leant back and released her now aching mouth. Not taking her eyes off Geta she tipped her head to the slumbering body pinning her down and Geta nodded.

Diana felt the stones set in his rings graze her middle as he wedged a hand between her and his brother's shoulder. Then slowly he shifted Caracalla onto his back and Diana's chest inflated.

The pain in her head was still blinding but she could muster the strength to get away. She couldn't take another second in Caracalla's stench.

She wobbled to her feet and staggered towards the door, her vision rolling like a ship on the tide but her course steady. Beyond that door was fresh air, drinking water and safety. Diana would endure the agony to reach them.

Silently Geta came aside and slipped his arm around her waist for guidance. Diana's thumping head rolled onto his shoulder and in a moment of uncharacteristic graciousness he allowed it.

Her nostrils noticed his smell wasn't repulsive like his brother's but the stench of perfume and wine that encircled him made her tender stomach roll.

'They make me sick,' Diana thought. 'They're rotten.'

After what felt like a journey the doors opened and the bright light on the hall made Diana wince but she heard her mother's voice and reached out for her. Once she was in Lucilla's arms her strength finally gave out and she felt her mother stagger under her weight.

"Escort them out," Geta ordered his retinue who swooped around the women like magpies fighting for a shiny object.

Lucilla refused to relinquish her hold on Diana so numerous hands held the women steady as they moved like a swarm down the corridor.

Geta watched them depart with a certain curiosity.

He had been relieved to find the girl unmolested but his brother's contented condition surprised him. Caracalla's fits of paranoia were worsening and more than once he'd found a dead lover in his brother's bedchamber.

One day he would be showering his whores with love and treats and the next he'd slay them convinced they were conspiring against him.

His histrionics had recently extended to the senate where he'd lash out at any who dared contradict him. Last week he had ordered common men to death for urinating on his statue while intoxicated.

The medicus had been trying various concoctions to slow the degradation of Caracalla's mind but none so far had shown any effect.

"What do you know about her?" Geta asked keeping his gaze on Diana's retreating figure.

"Nearly nothing sire," Senator Pullo admitted from behind his emperor. "Only that General Acacius and Lady Lucilla adopted her at a young age. Her father had been a friend of theirs."

"Find out Pullo," Geta still didn't deign to look at the senator. "You shall be rewarded.

[daysofyellowroses]

honey ii

carmen berzatto x afab! reader | 1.8k | continuation of this little story right here | tw: nothing really, just some serious cuteness

request was: she like asks him to go make her something strange like a bowl of ramen with maple syrup and pickles and ofc he obliges and makes it for her but he comes back and she’s like in tears and he’s like babe here are you hungry and she’s like *gag* “no I don’t know why the baby wanted that for so long now that I smell it- I just want McDonald’s I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for wasting your time” 😂😂 I imagine he’d just be like oh babe it’s fine I can get you McDonald’s that’s fine and she’s just so sad and pregnant bc she feels she bugged him ugh so cute - from my angel @thecapricunt1616 apologies this took a little while, hopefully you enjoy it! 🫶🏻💗🌼

🐻

There are many, many virtues possessed by Carmen Berzatto that make you love him unconditionally, madly and wholeheartedly. 

He is the most loving, passionate, considerate, loyal, driven and talented person you have ever met, and you wouldn't change him for the world.

Almost.

Patience is a virtue, albeit not one always in the possession of Carmy. You've seen him lose patience in the restaurant, when things are not running smoothly at a particular moment. You've seen him lose patience at traffic lights, when he can't find his other shoe, when he can't wait for someone to call him, he has to call them.

Generally you can deal with the lack of patience, because Carm will apologize for losing it in the first place in the most sincere way and everyone involved moves on.

But..there came a day where you couldn't forgive so easily. 

Things had been going well with Carm since you first sat up on your kitchen counter and asked him to undress you, a memory you often dwell upon. At first it was pretty casual, seeing each other occasionally for some very fun stress relief, then it turned into more. Neither of you had initiated the big conversation, it was like a silent understanding that you were both only seeing each other, and were both committed to that.

You gradually moved your stuff over to Carm's, the easiest move you'd ever had. Going across the hallway and merging your life with his was surprisingly simple. You fit together perfectly, everything seemed to be smooth sailing.

Until you hit a bump in the road.

Not the worst bump, just..an unexpected one. And, you were a little to blame, even if you weren't ready to admit it.

Thanks to things going so smoothly, it made all aspects of your lives better, including your (very healthy) sex life. Morning, noon, night, didn't matter what time or what place. You'd lost track of how many times you'd almost got caught sneaking into Carm's office. So far nobody had ever discovered your little rendezvous but you figured it was only a matter of time.

Because of your flourishing sex life, you had decided to switch birth controls to something a little more effective. But, in the brief window between stopping your old one and starting your new one, there may have been a night out.

There may have been drinking, dancing, pulling each other into cubicles.

You were sure you had asked him if he had a condom on him, like..96% sure. In your defense, you were slightly (very) inebriated and slightly (extremely) horny so maybe you filled in some gaps and heard what you wanted to hear. Carm had even less patience when he was drunk so there was no stopping him as soon as you pulled him closer.

So, a couple of days later when you were sure your hangover should have gone, you decided to bite the bullet. 

The little pink plus sign that looked back up at you was so judgemental. Oh you just couldn't wait a few days? Now look at what you've done.

You weren't actually sure how you felt about it, it wasn't something that weighed on your mind. You and Carm weren't exactly at that stage yet, you'd barely even talked about marriage or kids because you were still just enjoying living together and sharing a life.

When you told him, he had a similar reaction to you, unsure how he felt. The two of you ended up sitting on the couch in silence for a few moments before one of you burst out laughing, the other joining in soon after. 

You ended up laying on the couch talking about baby names, what family vacations you'd end up on, coming up with more and more ridiculous scenarios to make each other laugh while feeling more and more like it really was something you both wanted.

It wasn't easy, being pregnant. You attempted to read some books but they were either too scientific, too twee or too hippy-ish. It got easier as the months went by, as you adjusted to waking up to a slightly bigger bump every other day. 

Carm loved it, you discovered. He would stand behind you when you looked in the mirror, your hands touching your bump. His hands would move over yours, his head on your shoulder. He would kiss your neck, tell you that you were glowing as his hands wandered and you would remind him how you got into the situation in the first place.

Most of the classic pregnancy things didn't really happen for you until much later, your brief window of peace interrupted. The baby started kicking, morning sickness came full throttle, and you developed very..unique cravings. Personally, you had always thought the cravings people had were being exaggerated, how could someone suddenly want pickles in ice cream or oranges with gravy when they would never dream of it before?

But then they hit you, and you were frankly a little impressed with your baby’s requests. One of the many perks of dating Carm was that he was always happy to let you be a guinea pig for his latest creations, and when you started craving some more..unique meals.

You wanted spaghetti with plums and melted chocolate in it? He made it. Didn't matter how unusual, Carm was in the kitchen before you could insist the cravings would pass.

Some were more of a hit than others, but you always appreciated his endless patience for your strange requests. Particularly when it was late at night and he'd had a long day at the restaurant. 

Occasionally, you got hit with a craving in the middle of the night, choosing to ignore them or sneak off to the kitchen yourself to avoid waking Carm. A couple of times, he woke up anyway and would come shoo you out of the kitchen to finish making your latest creation.

You would have completely understood if he ended up losing patience with your more frequent late night kitchen trips, but he never batted an eyelid. 

Then, one night, you fully expected him to just snap, because you knew you would have in his shoes.

It had been a bad one at the restaurant, you got at least 3 different messages giving you a heads up that Carm wasn't in the best of moods. He would never take it out on you, but you usually gave him a little space to breathe on those nights, he would inevitably come to you after his shower, crawl into bed or onto the couch next to you and hold you close, tell you how much he loved you.

So, when you heard the front door open you kept your attention on the TV, listening as Carm took his jacket off and walked down the hall to the bathroom. The shower started a few minutes later and you let out a breath. Glancing down as you felt a pang in your stomach, you smiled to yourself as you placed your hand over your bump.

“So you can sense him hm?” You murmured softly, looking back to the TV. “Well it's just you and me right now kid. So what are we feeling?”

And so you ended up in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets to find what you were craving. 

“I know, I know,” You placed your hand on your stomach as you felt a kick. “You need to be more patient, I'm not the chef here.”

“True,”

You looked over your shoulder, smiling as you spotted Carm leaning in the doorway.

“I got this, if you want to relax,” You smiled. “Won't be long.”

“Nah nah, it's alright,” Carm smiled tiredly, walking over to you and dropping a kiss to your shoulder. “What’s on the menu today?”

“Hm..just a ramen bowl,” You shrugged, leaning back against Carm as he wrapped his arms around your waist and settled his hands on your bump. 

“With?”

“Maple syrup,” You admitted, glancing over your shoulder with a raised brow. “And pickles. This kid is doing a number on my insides already.”

“Sounds good, I got it,” Carm nodded, kissing your cheek. “Go relax, I'll take it to you.”

You didn't object, heading back to the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. At some point you went to lay down and ended up falling asleep, being woken up by a gentle touch and a smell that had your stomach lurching.

“Sorry, didn't mean to do that,” You murmured softly, opening your eyes and sitting up slowly. “I just..”

Your eyes fell on the coffee table, where a perfectly prepared ramen/maple syrup/pickle bowl was sitting. 

“Oh..”

“Can't wait to get the feedback on this one,” Carm smiled, sitting down beside you and reaching for the bowl. “It's definitely a first for me.”

“Yeah,” You nodded, accepting the bowl and taking a deep breath. It looked amazing, but the smell had you wanting to throw up. “It's uh..” You held your other hand over your mouth as you felt the need to be sick, gagging a little. 

“Sorry, I just..”

“Here,” Carm carefully took the bowl and set it back on the coffee table, his other hand moving to your back.

“I'm so sorry,” You sighed, moving your hand to your forehead as you felt tears bubbling up. The smallest thing now had you wailing hysterically, and you tried to stop the flood before it happened. “It looks so good but I just..”

“Hey, don't apologize,” Carm smiled, gently rubbing your back. “It's not the end of the world. I can make you something else.”

“Well that's the thing,” You groaned, closing your eyes as the tears started flowing. “I know you can but I don't want you to, I want..”

You felt a little ridiculous for crying so much but that didn't stop the tears.

“I just really want a McDonald's.”

Carm was quiet for a moment before he burst out laughing, his head dropping to your shoulder.

“It's not funny!” You protested, wiping away the latest tears. “You just had a really stressful day at work then you come home and I have you cooking some more nonsense for me that I can't even eat and now I ask you to go get me a fucking cheap burger!”

“Fuck I love you,” Carm laughed softly, kissing your cheek and getting up from the couch. “I'll get you as many burgers as you want, just promise me one little thing?”

“Of course,” You nodded, looking over to him as you wiped away more tears. “Anything.”

“Tell me you don't have a secret group chat about me?”

You couldn't help but laugh at that, the concerned look on Carm's face going straight to your heart.

“No,” You shook your head, smiling. “I definitely do not.”

“Good,” Carm nodded, lightly rubbing his jaw before turning to leave. “Okay, I'll be back.”

“Wait,” You stood up, walking over and taking Carm's hand, smiling as he turned back to you. “I forgot to say, get something for yourself too. And then double it so I can't steal it.”

“Deal,” Carm nodded with a smile, your heart swelling in your chest. “Just maybe no pickles.”