#none of it makes any sense

[greenheartart]

Day 15 - Mysterious

*why do i care about this?

[shibaraki]

Montyyy, i’ve always made the joke that if the bnha ending was bad then i’d just write more fics that go against canon to heal, but now i feel so crushed i almost dont want too anymore? and while i know the feeling will certainly fade, and i hadn’t expected much with leaks tonight, it still made me more upset than words can convey, genuinely i’ve been looking at my unfinished works tonight and feeling so heartbroken at the path Hori decided to go down, and while yes it’s fanfiction when we write these fics based on the series, it’s flexible to do whatever but i’ve always enjoyed sticking as close to the story as i could and now i feel like i cannot based on this latest update and how it’s made me feel. it’s so strange i hate it i hate it, i truly do. this doesn’t feel like a win at all. i love our heroes but this doesn’t feel right. How do you feel?

I feel really frustrated, too. I don’t understand any of the choices hori has made since he decided to kill off shigaraki. the whole point of the story was that izuku took fate and twisted it, and against the odds, made his dream of being the greatest hero come true and saved everyone, bc everybody deserves saving….. is THIS what it is to be the greatest hero??? the people who were calling out the loudest for help are dead or dying or have been forgotten about like…….. what??? what? what was the point of anything in this series!!! it feels like a huge waste of time, and that’s what has upset me the most I think

and I’m right there with you, friend. especially re: my bkg fic, I wanted it to be canon compliant as possible but this whole epilogue is making me want to drop it lol (I won’t dw)

[mcchipisfried]

WOO HERE IS THE 15 MINUTE RANT (now 9 minute rant) THAT I TALKED ABOUT IN MY DRACULA NOTES THAT I SENT TO MY FRIEND

Sound warning when I start to say "Can turn into fog and animals so there- there was no need for that...."

Transcript and some context under the cut :D

Okay okay okay I'm doing Dracula right? You already know fucking annoying but I liiiterally have no one else to talk to about this so, Dracula right, so the-

So 12th of August - which is today - Mina writes another little entry about how Lucy, after being fed on by Dracula yesterday (the 11th), is feeling even better um and she's so so happy but throughout the night she wakes up again and tries to go out sleepwalking but even after that she's even more rejuvenated and I-

We know that Dracula isn’t feeding from her right now (except for the first time) but she is at least connected to him in some way like there is some compulsion here that is-

it- it's existing and I have no words for how to describe compulsion. It's kinda like this word that I just picked up somewhere and it wooorks?

And I specifically speak about “compulsion” because of Jonathan. So Jonathan starts going really fucking crazy when he’s with Dracula right? (very paranoid but also maybe affected by his desperation and blah you’ve heard this before) and it just so happens that when Mina writes her uh little entry on the 12th of August that’s also the day that Sister Agatha writes a letter (Sister Agatha is uh obviously a nurse/nun at a hospital) so Jonathan traveled a long fucking time and he finally got there and they started to take care of him and Sister Agatha is writing a letter to Mina and she writes it on the 12th of August and the reason she writes the letter is...

The reason she writes the letter on this date even though Jonathan has been staying at the hospital for a bit is that for some reason he was under a brain fever and a brain fever could be multiple things. Honestly I think its their way of describing someone going through an overextended period of hallucinations or a trauma response? But "Brain Fever " is also when the brain becomes inflamed and one of the symptoms is a fever and you KNOW this because I also talked about my Hannibal theory with you on the first season, right, remember, pls. (with desperation) [1]

Um

But she literally describes it uh-

It as uh-

Yeah okay “he has had some fearful shock - so says our doctor - and in his delirium his ravings have been dreadful; of wolves and poison and blood; of ghosts and demons; and I fear to say of what” um so it's- It's very interesting to me that now, on the 12th of August, Lucy is feeling better, (like the whole reason Lucy does her sleepwalking thing is because she finally got engaged but now she's feeling very nervous and she's sleepwalking again like she did BEFORE Dracula showed up, it had just been a bit)

And its- its so unfortunate because Lucy is basically just doing what she normally does and she goes to this bench that just so happens to be near the grave where Dracula is hiding in and the only reason he can even do that is because its the grave of someone who committed suicide. It was very much like “why not” which is like, damn, Dracula really just be ruining lives for no reason because it's not like he was even initially attracted to Lucy because she was beautiful and she's kind and she's like, this pure soul. No. Literally my dude was just “oh shit there's someone above me………feeding time” Yknow? That's just like- I hate him so much!

So that's the thing and one could argue that he was technically already there when Lucy and Mina were also there when the dog thing happened um, he might have “seen” her or had some compulsion, some power over Lucy just from that like he picked up on something about her, her sensitivity if you want to argue that and had some compulsion over her to gooo...? Towards him at that point in time but I choose to not believe that I choose to believe this was very much Dracula just-

Dracula was just like “you know what? Jonathan, bye. New favorite blood bag Lucy, hello and thank you” and again I find it really interesting that when that happened not only did Mina wake up (I like to think that,

okay

I like to think that um, well when Mina found Lucy um Dracula was leaning over her maybe he was still drinking or had just finished so Mina rushes forward she's like “yo wtf is going on?” right she maybe thinks, she imagined or well doesn’t think, but like it was dark and no one else was there to confirm what she saw and Lucy was maybe a little out of it um) So I like to think that when Dracula drank from Lucy that's when Mina woke up and in her little panic of looking everywhere for Lucy and realizing she went outside was, however long it took Dracula to feed from Lucy. So whenever that happened Jonathan started to wake the fuck up from his little “weeks long brain fever” um like either when Lucy is being fed on he starts to come through because of the compulsion but when Dracula makes eye contact with Mina that's when he wakes up like ooohh-

Oh okay imagine if there was a Dracula show that was hella book accurate and they ended an episode with that cliffhanger? With Dracula getting close to Lucy’s neck, Mina jolts up and realizes Lucy is gone, goes out looking for her, finds her and Dracula, makes eye contact, boom it shifts to Jonathan opening his eyes Bella Swan from twilight style idk that would be so cool um but make me giggle. Um.

So talking about this is making me realize how much of a huge piece of shit Dracula is, for no fucking reason like. He had NO REASON, he had literally just drank not only from Jonathan (my headcanon my headcanon its not explicitly stated please people disagree people disagree it's my headcanon nnnnnn I'm not saying it happened or not I just like to believe um) which essentially rejuvenated his lizard ass to Tall, Dark, and Creepy (on top of maybe drinking from a baby) and then PROCEEDED to drink nearly a whole crew that was essentially free range for-

For no fucking reason. And then on top of that uh. So there's this other old guy. His name is Mr. Swales idk how to pronounce it even though I've heard the recording. ANYWAYS. He’s friends with Mina and Lucy and talks to them about the cemetery and headstones that stuff I was telling you about right? The other 6 minute analysis I did. Um.

He talks about how he is so old and isn’t afraid of dying and jokes about it a lot which honestly very fair my dude very fair. And um it turns out that when he talks about this he talks about- about death being in the air and that’s bringing the Demeter to shore, almost like he can sense Dracula as the omen of death that he is. And then there's an entry from when Mina and Lucy go to see the Captain’s funeral, she also mentions that Mr. Swales was found with his neck snapped on the bench and his face in such a horror that it made men squirm which is like. Fucked up as hell cause Dracula didn’t even drink from him -I think- so he killed him for no fucking reason. One could argue that he saw Dracula and that's why but motherfucker can turn into fogs-

SOUND WARNING IN RED

Can turn into fog and animals so there- there was no need for that. Honestly Dracula is hella insecure if he killed an old man just because he “sensed” him. He literally died. for. no. fucking. reason! It pisses me off he’s such a piece of fucking shit.

Okay

Okay I'm done actually cause I can keep talking about….Yo fuck twilight for being a major change in vampire stuff. [2] I need a modern adaptation of Dracula that actually takes the book into- cause- cause you have the whole destruction of Lucy’s character or even Mina’s character when they decide to combine them [3] um depending on the adaptation that it was Lucy’s fault that she was too pretty, too flirtatious with men and then that's why Dracula targeted Lucy- Dracula didn’t target Lucy he never did it was just coincidence and then when they also put that shit on top of Mina who is very much in the book a devoted fiancé to Jonathan.

I- I just- I don't-

Man I hate this dude I have never hated someone so much. I……. People should build on that horror. I-I miss hating villains. I love hating Dracula. Okay I promise I'm done

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[1]  Context: SPOILERS FOR HANNIBAL EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN OUT FOR YEARS MY BAD I just finished watching the first season of Hannibal (pls no one spoil it I've never seen it and know nothing besides the original books and some movies) and the "Brain Fever" entry happened to align with my theory of Will Graham having either a tumor or brain swelling because of his feverish symptoms, hallucinations, etc. (AND I WAS RIGHT and then I proceeded to talk about how devious the chicken soup scene was because of the chicken and its ingredients so my irl friend was very DONE with the brain fever stuff)

[2] I unironically love twilight for the cringe its just so funny to me #TeamAlice Edward could NEVER

[3] I remember an old black and white Mexican or at the very least spoken in Spanish Dracula story that never had Lucy it was only about Mina, Dracula, and Jonathan but I don't remember for sure

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

[moonbittern]

i love “clone cadets” but it is objectively a terrible episode

[threeshadesoflime]

set post-never let me go (fic)

(forgot to mention but masky is using ASL here, the exposed hand was originally intended to be drawn doing a "wasn't me" sign (or the closest translation) but i forgot completely until posting this)

[purpleshadow-star]

It's kind of funny (heartbreaking) that there were multiple Ravens who wanted a number, to the point where some tried to manipulate Jean into helping them one way or another, but none of them would have been next in line. No matter what they did, there was always someone ahead of them on the list. Someone who wasn't even on the team. That someone wasn't Neil. Neil was a surprise to everyone, including Riko. That someone was Andrew.

Kevin might have had to beg Riko to go visit Andrew, and Riko might have laughed at Kevin and dismissed Andrew when Andrew turned him down, but make no mistake, if Andrew had accepted and had become a Raven, he would have taken that #4 spot within his first year.

If we're being real, Andrew had more of a chance at becoming part of the perfect Court than any of those Ravens ever had. Even Jean thinks of Andrew as one of them.

The other Ravens never stood a chance.

[saym0-0]

i fw loceit now

(ref under the cut)

this is the kind of photo where i feel like i should know who these people are but really i just found it on pinterest

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I'm fed up with the way that autistic people are expected to constantly accommodate allistic people.

My moms best friend died on Saturday, we found out on Sunday. My stepmother is upset and was yelling at me because I "don't look sad."

So it's not enough that I lost someone I care about. Someone who has been a part of my life since the day I was born. But I also have to police my outward expression 24/7 to make sure I look sufficiently upset for the sole purpose of making allistic people comfortable.

[calware]

programming comments headcanons

june: tries to leave helpful comments but most of them are like

// this sucks

// this sucks

// ugh

karkat: constantly forgets to write comments so when he goes back and can't remember what he was doing he writes new comments that are just keysmashing

sollux: at one point he had to force himself to start writing comments because he was convinced he doesn't need them and kept having to learn the hard way that, yes, he does need them

vriska: convinced herself she doesn't need them. will never learn

equius: man i don't know. there are way too many of these guys

roxy: all of her comments are completely incomprehensible to everyone except her

dirk: all of his comments are written in iambic pentameter. they are also completely incomprehensible

[tavina-writes]

I'm not exactly sure how I want to phrase this yet, but I think a lot of the utterly weird takes I see sometimes float by me on our cursed blue hellsite (esp when it comes to mdzscql fandom) is coming from a refusal to meet the genre where it's at.

Like, why are we trying to interrogate classism in MDZS society, MDZS is a romance, the societal worldbuilding is just enough to support some general big ideas and the provide context for the romance. We can't get ANY kind of read on general classim/sexism/anything else from. this source material. if you think you can get granular when your sample size of characters from various social and gender strata are so small and we don't know how the vast majority of people in here live you are making stuff up.

Like, meet the story where it's at: it's a romance novel.

[robbyykeene]

Anyway I wish this show was actually bold enough to give Miguel an arc exploring his feelings of entitlement over the captaincy spot. Throughout the show Johnny has repeatedly told Miguel that Robby is a lost cause but hey, It’s okay because he has Miguel now. That Miguel’s his champion, his Number One Boy. So how could Miguel not feel at least somewhat entitled to the captain spot? How could he not feel insecure about his place in Johnny’s life with Robby not just back in the picture, but now literally taking the number one spot? When Johnny has repeatedly put into both kids heads that when it comes to his love and attention its one vs. the other, how could there be no lingering feelings of resentment and jealousy?

[odetojupiter]

this is a surprise to no one but i’m thinking of the twins again. cause i don’t know whether we’re told when tilda developed her drug addiction but considering her erratic behaviour surrounding the twins birth im assuming she was already using prior to the twins arrival. and if she was using before, during, and after giving birth, that introduces so many heartbreaking possibilities for the twins.

this one ran away from me (they say, as tho they don’t always)

i see people saying they just couldn’t take andrew or aaron seriously because they’re five foot even cause that’s a funny height apparently and i just think: did u know a long term impact of prenatal drug use is impaired growth? add that to potential malnutrition and yeah suddenly it’s not that funny anymore. besides andrew being short probably made him seem like an easy target to his abusers which is what made it necessary for him to learn to defend himself in the first place sooo

other impacts of prenatal drug use: altered brain development, cognitive and behavioural issues, damaged communication/language development, newborns can be born addicted and subsequently go through withdrawals (called neonatal abstinence syndrome, which has a long list of symptoms and can cause newborns to be hospitalised or worse). in any context, this is a horribly traumatic thing for a baby to go through but then consider this:

andrew’s brain is already struggling to develop properly thanks to his mother’s drug abuse. and then you add on frequent repetitive abuse including but not limited to several occurrences of child sa. already a 7 year old brain is not wired to be able to cope with that. tie that in with his significant abandonment issues stemming from first his mother and then every subsequent family he stays with giving him up. his own narrative tries so hard to doom him, and he responds to that the only way he can: through anger. violence. how else was he supposed to respond? yes this is more andrew defence bc it seems there’s been a sudden influx of andrew hate and it boils my piss

that brings me to a new point: andrew as a newborn. and his foster family does not want to give him the extra attention he needs as a baby born through prenatal drug use. so they give him up. again and again. so

but to talk about aaron for a sec - not only could he have been born addicted, but being breastfed by a drug user (it’s up in arms whether tilda would breast feed) also has its symptoms - can make the baby sick, can ruin its sleep, cause later behavioural issues and even transfer the drug to the baby. aaron, living with tilda, was also doomed to follow the narrative.

[mickeym4ndy]

I know Mickey said he likes them sweet in season 1 and yes this is mostly true because Ian can be very sweet particularly in the early seasons.

but also Mickey never would’ve been so down bad for Ian from the get go if Ian wasn’t also a bit of a messy asshole who was able to give as good as he got and was just as flawed and fucked up as Mickey. and Ian wouldn’t have been as interested in Mickey if Mickey wasn’t also the messy asshole he was. Ian was immediately smitten with the wild angry guy in front of him.

I mean they literally started fucking because they were beating each other up and got turned on by it.

[epiphainie]

i can't with all these "the show is highlighting tommy's jealousy, they're planting seeds that it will cause problems" takes like bffr. he mentioned being envious over the 118's dynamic twice, sure, but in what world (literally how?) would that cause a relationship problem? do yall expect him to be in cahoots with gerrard behind their back and murder buck to take over his life or something?? like even with the hyperbole aside, i genuinely cannot see how they can turn this into relationship drama without going against everything they showed us with tommy so far

[adimouze]

All I can actually take away from this is that he got his phone back didn’t he