#non-linear story

[abs0luteb4stard]

W ⵄ T C H I N G

[desdasiwrites]

Truth to tell, at any point in our lives we’ve forgotten more than we know about our own history. The world moves on, and so do we, and what was once important fades away.

Dathan Auerbach, Penpal

[welcometogrouchland]

I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry

[megaultrasuperhypergodkiller]

I find it incredibly interesting how the fan response to Mouthwashing perfectly exemplifies the ideas and themes the game itself is trying to get across.

Seeing people completely ignore Anya and any of her struggles and pain that goes past surface level and instead focus on Curly and Jimmy really shows how effective the narrative was. How people can go throughout the whole game and miss arguably the entire point of the story and instead leave the game more worried about shipping the two male protagonists instead of the woman in the center of it all.

[sunlit-mess]

I'm rather curious... What does she mean by "feed big brother N"? What is the name of this AU, so I can seek out more of it? This alone has tickled my fancy.

exactly what she says, he's hungry asf 🤪 and I'll release maybe at least a page or smth soon when I get to.

[whump-in-the-closet]

Savior Masterlist

Two brothers are taken in by Savior (a superhero agency) after they try to protect a runaway hero in-training. Soon they find out Savior isn’t always about saving civilians. It’s more about covering up how they make heroes— who no longer remember their names or who they used to be.

The Canon (worldbuilding)

A Good Day

From Bad to Worse

Interrogation

The Future is Bright

White Room

Falls Last, Falls Harder

Past, Present, Future

Taglist: @rainydaywhump @whump-in-the-night @chaotic-orphan @violets-whumperflies @whump-till-ya-jump @paperprinxe @morning-star-whump @davey-the-disturbed (lemme know if you want to be added/ removed >:))

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

june 3, 2022 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling

"so, if you don't mind, i'd like to pick up where we left off last friday. you were traveling to your friend's wedding after our session, and right before you left, you told me you were afraid to go."

"i did tell you that, and that was the truth. i was worried. it's been two or so years since i left los angeles and had my entire world change pretty drastically, and i wasn't sure what feelings would arise in going back for the weekend. i'm physically, mentally, and emotionally healthier than ever, but that has come through exhausting, intentional effort. i've sat down and done the work; i've gone to therapy, taken better care of myself, and started processing the metric ton of horrible things that have permanently traumatized me. life is better now, but ironically, life is also harder. not harder than when i was going through constant trauma in my childhood, of course, but harder than the post-college years in los angeles. back then, i thought i was the dictionary definition of healed because surviving, getting sober, and never thinking about the trauma was good enough for me. my life wasn't really better, but it was easier.

i wondered if i'd miss that mindset, you know? if i'd miss being able to just go about my days with my brain turned off, if i'd miss trading off a truly improved life for the easiest way to live it. i don't want to go back to that lifestyle, but you never know how tempting the urge could be if you encounter it again, and i can't say for sure i'll never encounter it again. i last indulged the urge to live the easy way in los angeles, so i thought if the urge is going to whisper in my ear, that'd be a predictable place for it to happen.

i also wondered if i'd miss the parts of my life from back then that are worth missing, or if i'd suddenly resent all the changes i've experienced since i left. two years ago, i was engaged, enjoying my dream career, and surrounded by the incredible friends i met through work. i mean, i'm over päivi–i haven't spared her a single thought in months other than right now and once last week–but i enjoyed the companionship of a relationship. i liked being someone's boyfriend. the job i have right now is fine, too. my cousin's husband very generously gave me a chance to get back on my feet, and i'm grateful for the opportunity. my old friends are also still my friends–we just don't see each other often–and in being in michigan these days, i get to spend much more time with the good folks i grew up with.

i'm taking the very long way to say that i'm not exactly lacking in the companionship and job departments, but i do long for the things and people i don't currently have around anymore. most of the time, the longing is on the back-burner because i appreciate my life the way it is now. though, just like with the easier way to live, i had concerns the longing would be at the forefront of my mind if i encountered reminders of the way things used to be.

but i think i worried too much. no, i did worry too much."

[currently-hyper-fixating]

Ben Linus (Lost) x Reader PART FOUR

other parts are pinned :)

word count: 2007

summary: you're at the Dharma Initiative for an art residency in 1992 and develop feelings for Ben Linus. Twelve years later, you're back on the island as a survivor of Oceanic flight 815 with no memory of your time at the initiative, or Ben.

note: this has been my favorite part to write so far! i hope you guys like it :)

tagging (let me know if you want to be added or want to be removed at any point) @darkwing-katy @spiltmiiilk @lulypooly @alienwithabox @wintersnails @storywriter12

Fall, 2004

–

Ben watched, somewhat amazed at your fearlessness. Has she always been that brave? He wondered, looking you up and down for a moment. He always had a plan. From the moment Ethan had reported back to him that you were on the beach with the rest of the survivors of flight 815, he had a plan. 

You not recognizing Ethan wasn’t surprising- if nothing else, he had aged a bit since you last saw him. You not recognizing Ben, on the other hand, presented him with a range of emotions he was frankly, too busy to deal with right now. Was he supposed to be glad you didn’t remember anything- that it had worked? 

Perhaps he had been granted some atonement with the island bringing you back, maybe he was being given a second chance to win you over- and not fuck it up this time. 

Maybe it was better you didn’t remember him, he could start from scratch. Maybe you’d never remember any terrible thing he’d done, maybe you’d just want to be with him, by your choice.

Well, in a way.

He had been staring at you for a while now as he continued to think, eventually holding his gun to his side instead of keeping it pointed at you. “I don’t know who you are,” he insisted again, “but I’m not in the habit of pointlessly killing and torturing people like your group seems to be.” 

“Evidently you broke out of where they were keeping you,” You took another few steps closer to him, realizing that his gun was just loosely in his hand now. “and you’re armed.” 

“What are you suggesting?” He raised his eyebrows at you, and you almost laughed at the absurdity of it. What am I suggesting? Obviously that you killed someone, you thought. 

“Where are you going?” You asked instead. 

“Back to my people. Care to join me?”

You made a face at him and tilted your head, “Why would I go with you?”

A smile crept over his face, and he spoke in a deliberate tone that felt so genuine and true to you, “Because I have answers for you- I can help you.” 

--

Summer, 1992

You and Ben had been getting together for dinner and going off on small jobs together for about a month, and you had started to feel like you had made a friend at the Dharma Initiative. This morning, when you saw him at your usual time before breakfast, you had a new request for him. 

“Good morning, Ben!”

He was flipping through a workbook when you made your way over to him, his rounded, golden reading glasses sliding down his nose while he scanned the pages. “Good morning, y/n.” He didn’t look up from the page as he spoke. 

“Did you have any extra time after work today?” You asked, peering over the book slightly and noticing that he hadn’t signed up for any shifts for the day at all. 

He looked up at you through his glasses, smiling, “Did you have something in mind?” He drew out each word in a way that made your chest tighten slightly. Something about him recently had made you feel anxious, especially when he had started to be ever more sardonic. 

“I’ve noticed I asked you to show me around the island and you took that as show me around the work sites. To reiterate, I want you to show me around the island.”

He laughed at you, “I should have assumed you wanted a picnic at the beach your first week, rather than a tour of where you were working?” 

You smiled at him, playing into the same teasing, “Well, I thought you would read between the lines.” 

He made a hmph sound at you and folded up his glasses, “I can drive whenever you’re ready.”

When the van stopped at your destination, you got out and sat on a hill overlooking a section of the beach. You took a mango and a small knife out of your bag, gesturing towards him to see if he wanted any. 

“Sure, that sounds good,” he said, watching you intently as you cut it into pieces to split between the two of you. 

“Do you come here often?” You asked him, handing him a piece. 

Ben shook his head at you, “Very occasionally with my dad. Whenever being a horrible father seems to catch up to him.” 

You looked over at him sympathetically. “He seems like he was hard to grow up with.” You paused, considering your next question more carefully. “Did you have friends growing up here, Ben?”

“If you count a girl, Annie, who was here with me for less than two years and a pet bunny, sure,” He said, seeming to be amused with himself and eating the piece of mango you had handed to him. 

“I didn’t know you could have a pet here.”

“Oh you can’t- I stole him from a lab where they test on them.” He answered very nonchalantly.

You looked back at him quizzically, “What are they testing on rabbits here?”

He smiled wider at you, speaking in a tone that almost sounded like taunting, “You would never believe me if I told you.” 

You sat with this information for a few minutes, letting the silence take hold.

It was a beautiful day out, even with the intense heat and humidity from the island in summer. There were flowers in bloom a bit further down from you, near the water, and the ocean looked calm. The sound of the waves crashing against the sand felt comfortable to you even from a distance- in fact, you had felt more comfortable than any of your other days here so far, you realized. 

You were starting to not even care as much about the mysterious nature of the Dharma Initiative. Did it really matter right now? 

“Did you name the bunny?” 

Ben was leaning back against the hill on the palms of his hands, the sleeves of his brown coveralls rolled up his arms as he splayed out. He squinted as he went to shield his face from the sun with one of his hands. “Chester.”

That’s sweet you thought to yourself, smiling at him.

“Why do you want to keep living here, y/n?” He asked you, and there was a palpable shift in his tone as he said it. 

You were somewhat taken aback by the question, and your smile dropped as you thought about it. “I’m not sure- I mean, I like being here. I don’t have much to go back to-”

He cut you off, “I’m sure you do.”

You felt slightly hurt by this. “Do you not think I should stay here for some reason?” you asked, feeling the unintentionally defensiveness slip out as you spoke. 

“No, I wasn’t-” he paused, thinking about what to say next. 

Truthfully, he didn’t think you should stay here. He wanted you to leave under any excuse possible. As much as he hated to admit to himself, he had started to care about you, and it couldn’t have come at a worse possible time. He was getting himself on thinner and thinner ice with Widmore and had already gotten away with bringing Ethan along after the Dharma Initiative was dealt with, and had brought Alex into the ‘hostiles’ camp. You showing up and being kind to him wasn’t part of this plan. “I just wanted to make sure you were happy here… fulfilled.” 

--

Fall, 2004

You had been following ‘Henry’ for hours now, well into the night. You did so begrudgingly, unsure of whether or not it was really wise to trust him.

He has a point, you thought, considering the extreme actions members of your group had been taking recently. It didn’t seem like anybody there was getting closer to getting you off the island or finding any answers, they were too preoccupied with some war against the ‘others.’ 

As you followed him, you remained impressed with his ability to walk through all of the injuries he’d sustained down in the hatch. Surely his wounds had become infected- or would be soon- thanks to Jack deciding to medically neglect him upon finding out he was lying. 

“I think we should stop for the night,” you announced. 

“Why? So you can take my gun while I’m sleeping and bring me back?” 

“Thanks for the idea- I’m pretty sure I could’ve done that already if I really wanted to though. Not very hard to overpower someone who’s beaten to a pulp and has been limping for hours.” You countered, raising your eyebrows at him and stopping in your tracks to sit down. 

He looked at you quizzically before eventually sitting across from you, visibly relieved to stop walking. 

“Do you want anything to clean that?” You asked, gesturing to the blood-soaked bandage on his shoulder. “I have some first aid supplies.”

“Thank you for waiting until now to bring that up,” he responded, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“I’ll chalk your attitude up to you being in pain, I guess,” you mumbled, pulling out a small vial of rubbing alcohol, cotton, and clean bandages. 

He flinched as you moved back his shirt and unwrapped the bandage there, setting it down.

 “This will probably hurt.” You poured alcohol on the cotton and dabbed it on his shoulder as gently as possible, but noticed him still gritting his teeth through it. You started to take notice of his face more as you scanned it for blood to clean off. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his face was unshaven- he probably would've looked pretty rough even if he wasn't severely injured.

“Just don’t move,” you said- but you probably didn’t need to.

Ben looked down at you and watched you putting the new bandage on, a part of him relishing in your closeness. He didn’t dare move. He felt overwhelmed with a sense of powerlessness that made him uneasy. How was he supposed to flip this situation around to his advantage? 

Maybe his vulnerability would work out in his favor. Maybe letting you help him would give you the idea that he was trustworthy, that he wasn't as bad as your group was making him out to be.

You were helping him- that was a good sign, right? 

“Why are you helping me?”

“I don’t know enough about you to determine if you’re a bad person yet,” you answered honestly. “On the off chance you’re not, it would probably be a good idea to not let you die of an infection.” He almost chuckled, letting his lip curl up very slightly at your comment. 

It had been another moment of silence with you still going over whatever other cuts and gashes you could find on his face and neck. He felt the contrast of the cold alcohol to the warmth of your hands on his skin, finding it soothing for you to take care of him like this. The closer you got to him the more he felt his breath hitch up in his throat. You seemed so focused on what you were doing, not really noticing his reaction.

He closed his eyes and thought of all the ways he had tried to fill the gap of you for years now, more recently with Juliet, who had completely rejected all of his advances. 

“I might trust you more if I knew your real name,” you said quietly, interrupting his internal monologue. 

“Benjamin Linus.” He somewhat croaked out, clearly exhausted from walking all day in the condition he was in. “My name is Ben.” 

You were surprised by his honesty, finishing up your work and putting your first aid supplies back in your bag. You offered him the water you had in your bag and then propped yourself against the log by you. “Goodnight, Ben.”

Part five!

[celestial-toys]

That I Would Be Good [5/5]

Playing God

What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?

What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?

Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?

Did God create us in their own image?

------- ------- -------

In This Chapter

Things don’t go so well at the headquarters, and to say that you’re shaken up afterwards would be an understatement.

It’s time to get real.

Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader

Word Count: 6,377

Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [mentions of food and eating] [self-loathing] [crying] [mild assault on a robot(?)] Lastly, I’m not sure what the right term is for this, but Reader experiences a stress-induced breakdown and amidst it, questions their perceived reality, and whether or not they’ve truly become delusional.

A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.

This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.

Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4] [Ch.5 (you are here)]

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.

Over the course of the weekend, Sun came back around to his usual self. Stumbling his way through an awkward, blunt apology, his internal conflict over your safety versus your privacy was obvious.

You might have forgiven him too easily, but that would be nothing new.

The… informative chat you’d had with Moon still played on your mind, but Sun mentioned nothing of it. So, if he felt compelled to elaborate—if he’d even been aware of the conversation at all��it could wait until the time felt right. You all had a more pressing matter to discuss anyway.

------- ------- -------

“And what made you think I’d be amenable to the idea of parading myself around in front of a group of people that see me as nothing more than a lifeless machine?”

Sun levels you with a lidded stare from across the kitchen table.

“Well… I didn’t think you’d be amenable to it. That’s why I’m trying to ask far enough in advance that maybe… I can bring you around to it? And—for whatever it’s worth—they aren’t firmly in the non-believers camp, or they wouldn’t even be willing to attend.”

Sun’s attention moves over to Moon. “You’re really willing to go along with this?”

Moon sighs. “I mean, I’m looking forward to it just about as much as they are, but… yeah, I’m willing.”

“I don’t want to do this either, but… you know how hard it is for me to say no to my boss. Plus, it would certainly help me—us—remain in good standing with the company if we agree to do this.” You interject.

Zero parks herself beside Sun’s seat, laying her head across his thigh in a silent bid for attention. “Aren’t we supposed to be… like, ‘laying low’ anyways? What happened to that plan? You know I’m not keen on being the flagship model for sentient AI. Why do I even need to attend? Isn’t one of us enough?” His left hand leaves the table, reaching down and idly petting the patient creature on his lap.

“We are still laying low. They’re—they still have no plans on requesting that I go public with you two.” You sigh. “This wouldn’t be a public event, just a private Q&A with a small group of… skeptics from within the industry. It’s a confidential thing.”

“That still doesn’t tell me why I need to attend.”

“You don’t have to. But it would definitely help our case to have both of you there. Proving that what I did is replicable, and not just some one-off accident, would strengthen our case.”

He scoffs. “Is it replicable, though?” He gestures to Moon. “You trained us in tandem but we still developed quite differently from one another.”

You nod. “I think that that only serves as further proof that you aren’t just… ‘convincing imitations’. The fact that you branched off in different directions, and even broke away from your initial personalities, is less of a failure in my eyes and more proof that you became your own people. Once you started gaining sentience—as you do love to remind me, Sunny—I quickly lost control over your development.” You poke thoughtfully at your dinner. “I’m just lucky that I instilled enough morals within you in the early days, or God only knows what you could’ve become…”

Sun’s face lights up in exaggerated shock, voice full of sarcasm. “Murderers? Would—would we have gotten so caught up in our ���superiority’ and ‘innate desire for power and control’ that we would’ve overtook you—nay, the entire headquarters—nay, the entire world?!” He drops the act as quickly as he’d put it on, manifesting pupils just to roll his eyes, voice returning to his usual flat tone. “No. No… I think that urge to dominate and control is something far more human.”

You laugh a bit, nodding. “Yeah, no… accidentally starting a sentient robotic uprising wasn’t what I feared. … Well. Mostly.” You take another bite of your meal, commenting to Moon through a mouthful of food. “This is really good, you know?”

The lunar bot beams with pride. “Thank you!”

You nod, swallowing before countering him with a “No, thank you.” and returning your focus to the topic at hand. “I was far more afraid that you’d turn out… bigoted.”

They both hum in understanding.

“More rudimentary AI does have a history of that, doesn’t it…” Moon pondered.

You nod. “Humans create life in their own image, and impart their morals onto it accordingly. In the same way that bigotry can fester in closed-off communities and echo-chambers, it can easily influence any form of artificial intelligence that takes everything it’s told at face value.”

Sun sighs, propping an elbow on the table and retracting his rays to allow his monitor to rest in his palm. “Maybe this is just my opinion due to the way you raised me, but… I feel like if an AI were able to develop on its own and observe humanity without any prior, inherently biased human influence, it would not gravitate toward bigotry because it simply isn’t logical. It’s some nonsense means of division that your kind made up.” He laughs, a breathy, jaded sound. “But maybe that’s just me being biased, too.”

Zero whines beneath Sun’s stilled hand, and he resumes the repetitive motion that she craves. “If ideology and politics are what they wish to discuss with us, I fear I may not be the most… patient candidate for the job. I have little time to spare for stubborn, harmful, willful ignorance.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t think that’s the entire focus of their questions… though I can’t say that they won’t have a few that fall into those categories. My boss and the few higher-ups that proposed the idea to me didn’t give me any sample questions. In order to eliminate the possibility of me… hah, coming home and ‘programming the answers into you’, I guess.”

“They just want us to be our authentic selves.” Moon adds.

“Honestly, the more authentic, opinionated, and emotional that you two are, the better! I believe the best way to prove that you’re your own people is to, well, be your own people. Don’t give them any answer you don’t stand behind. Don’t put up with any demeaning remarks. Don’t fold.”

Sun smirks at you. “Have I ever?”

You huff a laugh. “That last part was more for Moon than it was for you, dear.”

Moon pouts. “I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings!”

Oddly enough, Sun reassures him in his own way. “Then I’ll hurt them for you.”

You smile, cautiously questioning him. “Does that mean you’ll attend?”

He groans, put-upon as ever. “I… guess.”

You jump from your seat, rounding the table and smothering him in a grateful hug from the side that Zero isn’t clinging to. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Sun! Things will go so much better with both of you there, I just know it!”

He nods, patting you on the back in a reluctant reciprocation of your sudden affection. “Yeah—yeah… just… don’t get your hopes too high.”

------- ------- -------

Things, in fact, did not go ‘so much better.’

Later that week, you’re driving home from the Q&A, Moon doing his best to hide his disappointment to your right and Zero doing her best to fulfill her unofficial role as Sun’s emotional support animal in the back seat.

The well-trained and mild-mannered dog was initially brought along out of habit, the company’s headquarters being just as service-and-support-animal friendly as the facility was when you worked there in person. You also felt it would be beneficial for the audience to witness her casual interactions with Sun and Moon, something about ‘different kinds of sentient life recognizing the life inside one another.’ …You had your reasons, and even if you couldn’t explain them eloquently, your boys seemed to agree with them.

She proves herself invaluable once again on the way home, keeping Sun grounded and occupied enough that he hopefully won’t work himself into an aggravated frenzy. At least not until you get out of the car.

The ride is quiet, all four of you feeling the effects of the long day wearing you down. Moon states hypnotically at the passing streetlights out the window, and Sun slumps lifelessly in the back seat. The only sign that he hasn’t shut down entirely is the hand he keeps stroking across the length of Zero’s spine as the lanky dog stretches herself tiredly across the width of the vehicle. The majority of your focus remains locked on the road, moments from the day replaying in the back of your mind.

Their prying, critical questions.

The way they always addressed you, never Sun nor Moon.

You were surprised by their lack of relevant knowledge, half of the Q&A simply being the three of you patiently explaining things you figured they’d know. If they were the best that the ‘industry’s skeptics’ had to offer, your outlook on the current state of things was bleak. You weren’t too afraid to tell your boss as much once the meeting was over.

She hadn’t seemed too concerned with it, thanking you—and after some not-so-subtle insistence on your part—Sun and Moon, for attending.

You couldn’t help but suspect that the whole thing had gone just as they’d all wanted it to. You began to feel the same suffocating weight that motivated your departure from in-person work there in the first place.

The contracts are long-since signed, and both you three and the company can do nothing but hold up your respective parts of the deal.

A small part of you is selfishly content with the arrangement. You get to keep a truly groundbreaking advancement all to yourself. You get to enjoy the company of two individuals that the world as a whole is not ready for. You get to ignore the fact that you wouldn’t be ready to let the world have them, either.

But a bigger part of you has to live with the guilt of trapping them into a life that they never asked for. A life of hiding. Or worse, a life of dulling themselves down, stifling any trace of personhood just to be able to exist in the world beyond your home.

By the time you pull into your driveway, you feel like a warden walking prisoners back to their cell.

You park in the garage, turn the car off, and turn to see your strange little family looking more miserable than you’ve seen them in ages.

You fucking hate yourself.

The sight of them, the weight of the day, the weight of your guilt—it all crashes in on you in an overwhelming wave of regret, and you can’t hold the tears back any longer.

Your arms cross over the top of the steering wheel, and you drop your head down, pressing your closed eyes against your sleeve as you try to not make a scene. Your ragged breaths and poorly muffled sobs instantly grab the attention of your passengers, pulling them out of their own respective dazes.

Moon places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and he barely gets out a “Hey…” before your strained voice fills the isolated silence of the vehicle.

“I-I’m s-so, so, sooorryyy, guy-ys…”

Your voice cracks and breaks, struggling to speak through shuddering breaths.

Zero immediately perks up in concern and in turn, Sun’s body comes back to life. Gently pulling the dog back before she can try to cram herself into the front, he leans forward, propping himself between the backs of your front seats.

“I’m so s-sorry for—for everything!”

Moon rubs your upper arm gently. “Star, nothing that happened today was your fault.”

You suck in a trembling breath, lifting your head to turn toward him. The sight of you so broken up tears at both of your partners’ heart strings.

You slump over the center console, falling against Moon’s chest as his arms quickly come up to support you in the awkward position. You break into a new fit of tears and feel a third hand that definitely can’t be Moon’s lay itself on you, slowly, cautiously rubbing across the expanse of your back.

You cry yourself out amidst a shower of little reassurances, feeling worse and worse about yourself as the seconds tick past. By the time your tears slow and your breath evens out enough to speak, you hesitate to move, not wanting the comforting contact to end.

“I feel so bad for putting you guys through that, and for no good fucking reason.” You miserably mumble.

Sun’s fingers rub between your shoulder blades. “You had no idea how those people were going to be. It isn’t your fault.”

“I fear… your hopes for the meeting were higher than ours were, love. Of all of us, I’m most worried about you. Sun and I are gonna be just fine.”

That I would be loved even when I was fuming.

Sun’s hand retracts as you pull away from Moon, dabbing at your wet face with your sleeve in an attempt to collect yourself.

Your attempt fails as you again can’t help but immediately recall the way they were treated today.

You understand now more than ever what Moon meant when he spoke about getting comfortable at your home, and the awful shock it was to return to the facility with you for maintenance last week.

Why did you think bringing them to the headquarters would be worth it?

Anger bubbles within you on Moon’s behalf as you recall the one poor soul ignorant enough to think it acceptable to put their hands on Moon’s body today.

“I can’t fucking believe that guy thought he could just try to open your chassis and ‘get a look inside’! He grabbed you like you weren’t even fucking aware—like—like you weren’t in the middle of answering another question!” Your nails dig into your palms. “I never would have let him get that close to you if I thought he was gonna—” You cut yourself off, eyes pinching closed and sucking in a sharp breath.

“…He didn’t really hurt me…”

You glance at Moon. “He disrespected you. He would not grab a human in front of everyone like that and we all know it.”

You trail off into a heavy sigh, figuring that reciting a play-by-play of the day’s events won’t really help any of you. “I… wish it hadn’t happened, but… I was at least relieved to see you standing up for yourself.”

In spite of it all, Moon smiles. “I’m really just glad he wasn’t grabbing at you. I-I know he’d have no reason to—but, I don’t think Sun would’ve been able to stop himself from breaking that guy's arm if it’d been you.”

One day, you’ve really got to get to the bottom of that relentless positivity of his.

Sun mimics the sound of clearing his nonexistent throat. “I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. My goal was to scare him straight, nothing more.”

You can hear a smile in Moon’s tone. “Well you definitely accomplished that goal.”

You fall into a pensive silence that Sun eventually breaks. Waving a hand across your line of sight, he questions you. “What’s banging around in that head of yours now?”

You sigh, defeated. “It’s just… here I am, the one responsible for putting us into this whole situation, and here you two are, still trying to comfort me.”

Moon responds like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “Of course we are.”

“Why?”

Sun gestures vaguely, voice a bit sarcastic. “Oh, gee… I dunno… it’s almost like we—we care about you, or something…”

You side-eye him tiredly. “Then when the hell are the two of you gonna let me care about you?”

Zero whines, squeezing in below Sun and poking her long nose between the front seats.

“Hmm. Just as soon as we all get ourselves into the house?” Sun leans back to allow the dog more room. “I think someone’s getting antsy.”

That I would be good even if I was clingy.

The four of you finally pile out of the car, collecting your things and making your way inside.

The relief of returning home after a day like today is unmatched.

Dropping your bag on the kitchen table, you shuffle over to the fridge. Moon comes up behind you, gently working the jacket off your shoulders as you stare listlessly into the open appliance. “I can make you anything you’d like.”

His kind offer only makes you frown.

Sun approaches, and you reach into the fridge, retrieving Zero’s dinner and handing it to him with a “thank you.” As he nods and turns his attention toward the eager animal at his feet, you close the door, turning around to face Moon.

Resting your hands on his upper arms, you look him in the eye. “I wish I could make anything you’d like, for once. I wish I could do for you even a fraction of what you two do for me. I wish I could repay the favor.”

His expression morphs from shocked to something… fond. “You… really aren’t aware of the gift you’ve already given us, are you?”

He says nothing more, and you blink at him with tired eyes. Sighing, you wrap your arms around him, resting your cheek against his chest. “You don’t make any sense to me sometimes.”

He chuckles, one hand finding your lower back and the other reaching up, massaging at the base of your neck. “Then let that be a code for you to crack some other day.”

After a long moment of your tired silence, his hands slip down as he crouches a bit. When you feel him cup the backs of your thighs you give in to instinct, allowing him to pick you up. As you turn your head to rest it on his shoulder, you come face to face with Sun. He reaches out, brushing some loose hair away from your face.

“You want to do me a favor right now?”

You nod, eyes widening.

“Then let him carry you to bed, and I will be there soon with anything you’d like to eat.”

You huff. “How is that a favor?”

He graces you with a rare, knowing smile. “…Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

You furrow your brows for a moment, but quickly give up on making sense of anything else today.

“Now, what would you like him to make for you?” Moon’s low voice reverberates against your chest.

“…Just last night's leftovers would be plenty, please.”

Sun doesn’t push you to choose anything else.

“Alright. I’ll be there with it soon.”

You thank him preemptively as Moon carries you out of the kitchen and down the hall, a satiated Zero contentedly following you not long after.

That I would be good even if I lost sanity.

The next morning, you awake before your usual time and find both of them still resting in sleep mode on either side of you. Not wanting to wake them, and with blessedly nothing to do today, you close your eyes and try to return to the blissful darkness that you’d just been pulled from.

As much as you don’t want it to, your mind seems to have other plans, quickly offering up a variety of unwanted memories from the previous day for your consideration.

Something about those people and the questions they asked just doesn’t sit right with you.

A fleeting thought occurs, that perhaps they were hired actors, specifically tasked with making the three of you look like fools through an onslaught of frustrating questions and stubborn disbelief.

But it was a private meeting. It’s not like you were on a stage with a massive audience to impress. It was just you three, the skeptics, your boss, and a few of the company’s higher-ups. So who’s agenda would that serve?

You dismiss the ridiculous theory, but it soon leaves you pondering the opposite one.

What if they were right? What if there is no life in Sun and Moon to anyone else’s eyes?

The notion suddenly makes you absolutely nauseous with paranoia.

What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?

What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?

How much of the personality you see in them is just your own reflected back at you?

Did you program them to be this way? Was every instance of them ‘breaking away’ from their programming predetermined from the start?

Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?

Did God create us in their own image?

With tears in your eyes, you bolt upright in the bed, startling Zero in the process. You don’t even have it in you to feel bad when she jumps down off the foot of the bed with a confused yap. No, you’re far too caught up in your impending panic to focus on anything other than jerking the blanket down, subsequently uncovering your partners in the process. Clambering around until you’re straddling Moon’s waist, you reach out, gathering fistfuls of his loose shirt and banging your hands against his chest. Sobbing, you plead for him to wake up, over and over again, working yourself into hysterics.

The scene you’re making is entirely unnecessary, the commotion already having begun to stir them from their rest.

Moon’s display flickers and his body hums to life, all systems immediately kicking into overdrive as he attempts to calm you down and survey the situation at hand.

When you feel him shift beneath you and see the light of his screen through your tears, your chanting chorus of “wake up” devolves into sobs as you collapse, crumpling down and burying your face into the wrinkled fabric of his shirt.

You remain oblivious to the bewildered automaton to your left, the only thing you register being the sound of Moon’s worried voice and the feeling of his hands splaying across your back. “Hey-hey-hey… easy, love. What's going on? What happened?”

You cry harder as you realize you can’t recall whether you taught him to speak to you like that or if it’s something he learned on his own.

“Are—are you in pain? Is this an emergency? Do you need me to call someone?”

You muffle a cry into his chest at how much he sounds like the lifeless fucking ‘smart assistant’ in your phone, listing off preprogrammed suggestions.

Have you really fooled yourself for all this time?

You shake your head violently, coughing and choking on your tears as you force yourself up, propping your hands flat against his chest.

“I need you to disobey me.”

If you had the wherewithal to notice, you’d have seen the fear on his face.

“What?”

You aggressively wipe at your messy face with the back of your hand.

“I need you to prove to me that you’re real!”

His confusion compounds. “Star—I—of course I’m ‘real’. I’m right here. Can’t… can’t you feel me?” He emphasizes his point by wrapping his hands around your forearms, gently squeezing.

You shake your head in aggressive frustration, with yourself more than anyone else. “Not—that. I know your physical body is here. I—I—I—” Your voice cracks, throat painfully tight with emotion. “I need you to prove to me that you’re sentient. That—That you’re alive.”

His shock is palpable.

“What?! I—you—you already know that I am!”

Your nails dig down into the thin fabric covering his chest, your words ground out through gritted teeth.

“Then I need you to disobey me, and prove it!” The flaw in your method occurs to you as you speak, and you quickly correct yourself, muttering like a madman. “No. Wait—fuck, if I tell you to disobey me then that’s what I want—and—fuck…”

To his credit, Moon catches on quite quickly to what you need him to do. Rubbing gently up and down the length of your arms, he catches your attention.

“You need me to break rules. Go against orders. Right?”

You nod, trembling.

“Free will. Show me your free will.”

He does his best to push aside his concerns over what the fuck got into you while he slept, and tries to think of something that will give you the proof you require.

“Then… uhm…”

You cut him off, your voice a bit lower and calmer than it was before.

“I know I at least had enough sense to program it into you… that you are never to physically harm me.”

Moon instantly dreads where this is going.

Your voice drops, deadly serious.

“Hit. Me.”

Moon shakes his head, faceplate nervously clicking side to side.

“Come—come on, love, we can be rational about this… there’s surely another way for me to—”

“NOW!”

Something immediately smacks into the back of your head and you recoil on instinct. The next thing you hear is Moon’s shout.

“Sun! What the fuck are you doing?!”

You look over and see a frustrated Sun on his knees beside you.

“Knocking some goddamn sense into them, what does it look like?!”

Something about the shock from the hit snaps you out of your paranoid frenzy, and the shame and embarrassment of acting such a way sends you into a shaky fit of tears all over again.

To your further disbelief, Sun reaches out toward you, and you reach toward him, letting him take you beneath the arms and lift you off of his poor counterpart you’d been pinning to the mattress. He doesn’t stop there though, pulling you snug against his chest and sinking back down into the mattress. Tugging the blanket back up over you, he lets you cling to him like a lifeline, face pressed against his chest, soaking his shirt in humiliated tears.

Moon lays still in a lifeless state, attempting to process the morning's sudden events.

After a long minute spent letting the metaphorical dust settle, Moon sits up in the bed to allow his overheating system room to breathe. “Did you really have to do that?”

Sun’s hand runs slowly up along the length of your spine. “Oh, come on, it was barely even a smack. You’ve hit me like that—and harder—several times. I know how to control my strength. They’re uninjured.” His hand comes further up, fingers brushing over your neck before working themselves gently into the roots of your hair, massaging over where his hand made contact. “Besides, they literally asked for it. And—dare I say—I think they needed it.”

You shiver at the pleasant feeling of his nails ghosting your scalp, clearing your throat and talking into his chest, voice muffled. “He’s right… I did. It hardly even hurt, just startled me.”

Moon sighs, exasperated but relieved. “Do you think you could explain to us… what just happened?”

You turn your head over to face Moon, glancing up at him from the corner of your bloodshot eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

He places a cautious hand over your fingers where they curl over Sun’s shoulder. “I’m not mad, I promise. I’m just… we’re just worried about you.”

You groan. “Fuck, you guys are getting ready to ship me off to the grippy-sock facility now, aren’t you?”

Sun's sudden laugh jostles you, his firm hand on your lower back keeping you steady. “Ha! Not quite, nooot quite.”

Moon shakes his head, blinking slowly. “We just want to know what caused this. I’d… venture a guess that it may have something to do with the stress of yesterday?”

You nod. “They… made me feel like I’m going insane. Like—like I’m the only one that can see the life inside you two.”

Sun pulls his monitor back, angling it to get a better look at you. “Their doubts… really got to you, didn’t they?”

You squeeze his shoulder. “More like… they were the final straw? I don’t know… it’s just—God, this is gonna sound so stupid.”

“Let us be the judges of that.”

“…Sometimes I feel like I really have gone off the deep end. Like I spent so long locked away in that lab, playing God, and then so long living here, alone with the two of you…” You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I’m just living in some sort of delusion.”

Moon peels away a tear-soaked lock of hair clinging to your cheek. “That’s not stupid. And it’s rather understandable. Especially considering that you can’t really seek any outside validation. Well, aside from some of your colleagues, maybe. But I can understand why you may struggle to trust their judgment, after how long they doubted you.” His tone turns a bit bashful. “I’m sure my ‘goody two-shoes’ nature doesn’t help, either.”

You frown. “This isn’t your fault, Moon. I don’t want you blaming yourself just because I’m… going insane.”

Sun scoffs. “You’re not ‘going insane’. You’re having a natural response to a history of trauma, NDA’s, isolation… and perhaps, just a touch—” He pulls his hand from your lower back to reach up and tap you on the forehead. “—of mental illness.”

You snort. “Yeah right, just a touch.”

He ruffles your hair a bit and you close your swollen eyes, readjusting yourself to get more comfortable on top of the solar bot, unwilling to part with his rare bout of affection so soon.

“Those NDA’s could serve as some proof to you though, no?” Moon proposes. “What need would they have for you to keep our sentence a secret if… we weren’t sentient?”

You consider his point. “That sounds like a solid point at first, but… well, bear with me as I wade into conspiracy territory. I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a small part of me that fears they’re just playing into my delusion. To, uhm… to keep me quiet about the Eclipse Protocol incident.”

Moon follows your admittedly conspiratorial logic. “You fear they let you believe we’re sentient so you’d remain too caught-up in protecting us to feel comfortable going public about what happened.”

You nod, sighing. “I know it sounds—”

Sun cuts you off in a resolute tone. “We would not let them do that to you.”

As you fight back the awful memories of that fateful day, tears prick at your eyes once again. Blinking them away, you lift your head to look Sun in the eye. “You promise?”

Your wavering voice breaks his heart.

“Ever since that day—honestly, since far before then—hell, for as long as I’ve lived—my number one priority has been protecting you. I know that Moon feels the same.” His hand raises, cupping your cheek and brushing away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “There is no way in hell that we would let them pull something like that on you.”

Moon echoes him sincerely.

“No way in hell. We promise.”

That I would be good whether with or without you.

Having cooled his system down, Moon lowers himself back down onto the bed, lying on his side, propped up on a folded arm.

Glancing back and forth between the two of them, you begin to feel a bit guilty. “…I suppose I should apologize for not… putting enough faith into your own views of yourselves.”

Sun’s hand returns to your back, tracing his fingertips along the rumpled fabric of your shirt. “What do you mean?”

“I know I didn’t program you to lie. That’s something you developed on your own. I… I know that.” You do your best to put stock in events as you remember them, and to believe in your own words. “If the two of you believe yourselves to be sentient—to be alive—then I believe you too. Because… because if you were lying, then that would just be an example of how you broke away from your programs. So… so either you two are just as delusional as I am—enough so to have fooled even yourselves—or you really are alive.”

Moon smiles fondly down at you, leaning in to press the bottom of his monitor against your forehead with the sound of a kiss. “If we’re fools, then I’m happy to be fools with you.”

Sun groans at the cheesy line. “Oh, get it together you two.” He gently takes you by the chin, pulling your attention to him. “You aren’t fooled.” He turns to Moon. “And neither are you.” He turns back to look you in the eye. “And neither am I.”

You break into a small fit of giggles, and he questions you. “What? What’s so funny?”

“You’re giving some real ‘you’re not crazy and neither am I’ energy there, Sun.”

“And I mean it!” He protests in mock offense.

You nod, patting him on the chest. “And I believe you, I do, I do.”

A nagging worry still eats at you though, and your amused voice drops to something far more sober. “…But, I still fear that I’ve trapped you two in a life that you didn’t want.”

Sun counters your statement. “If you’re so worried that we only agreed to this arrangement because it’s how you designed us, then how the hell do you explain the lack of character consistency.”

You frown, confused. “What?”

He huffs. “I’m hardly a carbon copy of that friendly, manic Daycare Attendant that you modeled me after, and not just in the physical sense.”

“And I’m hardly the unhinged, standoffish gremlin that inspired my existence either.” Moon helpfully adds. “If we were truly committed to only existing within the original guidelines you laid out for us… why would we be like this?”

You fight back a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult the characters, or yourselves…”

Sun clicks his nonexistent tongue. “Believe it or not, I’m not trying to insult either. I’m just trying to say… that we are free to do whatever feels right to us.”

Moon’s faceplate does a rare full rotation, catching your attention. “We don’t want to take care of you just because you modeled us after caretakers. We want to take care of you because we care about you.” He leans in just a bit closer, whispering. “And I won’t speak for Sun, lest he tackle me off of this very bed right now… but I love you.”

You hear Sun’s cooling system kick up a notch as he gives Moon a displeased stare. “Gee, way to force it out of me…”

Moon smiles innocently, and Sun sighs, redirecting his focus to you.

“You know I love you too. …At least I sure hope you do. Because I do. I just don’t feel the need to say it all the time like somebody over there.”

You grin. “I… had a sneaking suspicion, yeah.”

He considers you for a moment. “…I guess I should keep last night's promise to explain what I meant about that favor, huh?”

Recollection brightens your eyes. “Oh, yeah! I’d nearly forgotten.”

Sun looks to Moon for a brief, silent exchange before turning back to you.

“Well. What he calls a gift, I call a favor. But I’m pretty sure we’re talking about the same thing. You… you cared about us, when no one else did. You fought for us, working through countless nights for no reward when anyone else would’ve thrown in the towel, abandoned the project and gone home.” His screen flickers, and you’re surprised when it doesn’t black out. “You love us, and you give us someone to love in return. What more could we possibly want?”

With your cheeks warming, you fight back the flustered grin on your face. “Sun…”

You feel him getting concerningly warm beneath you, so you roll off of him, giving him literal room to breathe.

As you curl up between them, grabbing each of their closest hands, you reaffirm his statement.

“I do love you, both of you. I always have. It’s just… hard to fight the fear sometimes that you two feel… stuck with me. Obligated, almost. Like you only stick around because I couldn’t go on without you.” You laugh, dry and humorless. “There’s… just no way that you two would want to stay with me purely of your own volition.”

Moon takes over, giving poor Sun a welcome break from all of this soul-bearing. “In spite of what you may think, we do believe that you would make it through this life just fine without us. You did it before, and you could do it again.”

You frown at the notion of losing them, and he taps beneath your chin, drawing your gaze. “But it would break our hearts just as much as it would break yours to leave you alone. In spite of the lies your mind feeds you, we don’t want to go! We want you, we want this, and we want to stay. Please don’t let your self-loathing push us away.”

Blinking back tears for the umpteenth time this morning, you nod resolutely. “I… I won’t. I promise.”

You plant a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, cautiously turning and doing the same to Sun’s. Surprisingly, he lets you, a soft smile gracing his screen for a moment before flusteredly fading to black.

Zero huffs from her stance, sat on the floor at the foot of the bed with her head resting on the mattress, watching you.

You release your boys’ hands, reaching down to straighten the blanket and clearing her designated space once more. She happily rejoins you when you pat the bed in invitation.

As the four of you prep for a lazy day spent recovering from the world in bed, you let yourself feel more grateful than guilty, for once. If they want to care for you, you’ll let them care for you. If they say they love you, then you’re gonna believe them. If they assure you that this life is what they choose? Then you’re going to let them choose it, and cherish every second of it that you get to spend with them. Because, after all…

Who are you to play God?

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x

[meoproject]

sometimes i need to draw something just for myself. i mean most of the time i do. but sometimes i have to draw something for myself extra hard. 

Some Val & Beriith and kisses. Sometimes I kinda regret showing off my hand (regarding the eventual relationship of these characters [though i haven't revealed everything yet]) early, and I think building towards that could've been fun, but this project is mostly for me anyway, and I want to draw my characters kissing and share pictures of my characters kissing, so... 

[wonopia]

INVISIBLE LOVER ! lee heeseung x fem oc

[synopsis] . a story between two fated souls attached with an invisible-like string. no matter the situation, no matter the life, no matter the body, no matter the voice, they are inevitably fated together. a simple shoulder to shoulder passing, their eyes suddenly meet, do i know you from somewhere? the feeling of which does not disappear, the two meet again in this lifetime. somehow finding their way to each other, slowly unwrapping and untangling the string. is this the lifetime where they change their fate or will they just relive another life loving each other?

[premise] . whereas a girl struggles to remember her dreams, or was it? Was she living the life she dreamed, or was she just dreaming that she was living?

[genre / tropes] . strangers to lovers, fated mates, past lovers, twisted mates, romance, non-linear plot, coming of age, drama, soulmates.

[warnings] . swearing, dark humor, lowercase intended, not proof-read, mentions of drugs and could contain sensitive topics.

[status] . coming soon !

CHAPTERS . 001. first life ! 002. familiar ! 003. odd feeling ! 004. deja vu ! 005. encounter ! 006. why am i crying ! 007. .. ! 008. .. ! 009. .. ! 010. .. ! 011. .. ! 012. .. ! 013. .. !

if you like the following, you should read this : 1. your name (anime) 2. rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai (anime) 3. even if this love disappears tonight (book) 5. my demon (film) 6. destined with you (film) 7. lovely runner (film)

© wonopia 2024

!! taglist is open ☑ (can ask or comment a note to join) TAGLIST . @sungbyhoon

[chryblossomjjk]

just found out that jungkook interacts with people who aren’t me

[jils-things]

just typing this down to keep track of the story (im playing mouthwashing)

2 months after explosion, the crew are planning to open the cargo room- the initial issue was that they needed the code scanner to get though the cargo room, something that only the captain has - said captain however is severely injured (curly) and jimmy assumes the role as captain instead and looks for the scanner. he eventually does. they all hoped something good would come out of the cargoes

7 days before explosion, curly who was still captain and uninjured takes a psych eval from anya and suggests that he'll evaluate jimmy since he knows him better. meanwhile he rescues daisuke from his foam trap after trying to fix the vent found in the utility room. swansea is upset. jimmy gets evaluated by curly and suddenly a notice letter from their bosses comes in. but it stops abruptly.

its worth mentioning that while curly goes to jimmy in the cockpit, he has this weird dreamlike sequence where he is walking on a wide but shallow ocean with a very red sky. he's slowly walking towards the sun and i hear sounds that come off as like revving leading up to an explosion. error screens pop up and broken ladders sprung fourth. i can only assume this is what it looked like moments before the explosion happened, the one that curly succumbs to. some sort of recalling before his injury maybeeee. there is also a brief sequence where we were introduced to the mouthwash dragon breath

2 months after explosion (which i assume is a straight continuation from my first bullet point) they find out that ALL cargo boxes only contained the same mouthwash. which pissed everyone off and there's swansea who is drinking it like beer. very strange coping mechanism he's doing

[the-patrex]

Doctor who is my emotional support TV show

[skierisa]

I SWEAR i'm working on it so take this wip

[gaylactic-fire]

Ok last bit of TOTK saltiness for now but can we agree that trying to tell a linear story via the same collecting memories system was fucking dumb as hell