#nobody’s having a worse day than him

[nic-is-the-worst]

[quillkiller]

thinking about my favorite mortal enemies regulus and remus

[danwhobrowses]

For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[droodlebug]

i'm for sure not finishing veilguard. i set it down a while and tried again and ahh i'm just not enjoying it. the characters dont have a depth im looking for.. the insertion of a writer's white guilt onto the elves that are based on real life indigenous people and have been in-games enslaved and treated horrifically and are the ones who don't have "real" gods that are actually just blighted tyrants. everything with taash and the qunari. the gameplay was fun for a while but then it made my hand so numb i couldnt do anything for a week. the last straw was taash's gender talk that suddenly turned into picking a cultural identity for them to align with out of nowhere and then soon after learning that Another antagonist is of course an elf. starting to feel like their implying that all elves become evil when given power jfc. i think i'm actually done with it it started making me feel gross and bored. i don't care if you enjoy it or not, everyone's got a different threshold it just crossed mine.

[theragamuffininitiative]

Have you ever written fanfic where the source material is so obscure that you keep thinking of the MC as your OC?

I'm not talking about a major active fandom where you decide to play in the universe by giving the ultimate narrative to villager number 74 (this is also great!).

This is about a random book from the 30s you found in a thrift store that no one has ever heard of but got its beautiful claws into you.

This is about an early 2000s video game that bombed out but you played it at a friend's house and the worldbuilding won't let you sleep at night.

This is about an episode of 60s tv western that was supposed to be a spinoff into its own series that never manifested but dangit you love that character they introduced and the wildly unfinished story that was promised and forgotten long before you were born, and that MC might as well be your OC because nobody else is thinking about them anymore but they deserve it, and you are compelled to tell their story and make something complete that was incomplete, and you are more attached to this abandoned cowboy than any other character you have recently written.

-deep breath-

So yeah. Reblog if you can relate I guess.

[doverstar]

suffered through a rewatch of Power of Three and Dinosaurs on a Spaceship last night and I wanted to scream the entire time. I am nobody and have never run a 60-year-old television show. but. Chris Chibnall does not know how to write. he is bad at it. he is bad at it. who gave him control of the entirety of Doctor Who? why? he had Amy narrate the first and last scenes of Power of Three like she's in some kind of early-2000's romcom because he doesn't know how to write dialogue or how to show-not-tell. the last line of Power of Three sounds like a preteen who has no idea how to end her oneshot fanfic and I know this because I have been one and I would never have let 12-year-old me write a single episode of an actual show on tv. the Silurians are a crutch. the Doctor got sucked into a Wii game? Kate Lethbridge-Stewart has zero personality outside of the Brigadier. Brian is an empty, emotional-exposition robot. who let this man run the entire show for years, I want names and addresses-

[zemnarihah]

btw i think i may be attempting to enter into a long distance relationship w erik.

[theabstruseone]

I slept in and just woke up, so here's what I've been able to figure out while sipping coffee:

Twitter has officially rebranded to X just a day or two after the move was announced.

The official branding is that a tweet is now called "an X", for which there are too many jokes to make.

The official account is still @twitter because someone else owns @X and they didn't reclaim the username first.

The logo is 𝕏 which is the Unicode character Unicode U+1D54F so the logo cannot be copyrighted and it is highly likely that it cannot be protected as a trademark.

Outside the visual logo, the trademark for the use of the name "X" in social media is held by Meta/Facebook, while the trademark for "X" in finance/commerce is owned by Microsoft.

The rebranding has been stopped in Japan as the term "X Japan" is trademarked by the band X JAPAN.

Elon had workers taking down the "Twitter" name from the side of the building. He did not have any permits to do this. The building owner called the cops who stopped the crew midway through so the sign just says "er".

He still plans to call his streaming and media hosting branch of the company as "Xvideo". Nobody tell him.

This man wants you to give him control over all of your financial information.

Edit to add further developments:

Yes, this is all real. Check the notes and people have pictures. I understand the skepticism because it feels like a joke, but to the best of my knowledge, everything in the above is accurate.

Microsoft also owns the trademark on X for chatting and gaming because, y'know, X-box.

The logo came from a random podcaster who tweeted it at Musk.

The act of sending a tweet is now known as "Xeet". They even added a guide for how to Xeet.

The branding change is inconsistent. Some icons have changed, some have not, and the words "tweet" and "Twitter" are still all over the place on the site.

TweetDeck is currently unaffected and I hope it's because they forgot that it exists again. The complete negligence toward that tool and just leaving it the hell alone is the only thing that makes the site usable (and some of us are stuck on there for work).

This is likely because Musk was forced out of PayPal due to a failed credit line project and because he wanted to rename the site to "X-Paypal" and eventually just to "X".

This became a big deal behind the scenes as Musk paid over $1 million for the domain X.com and wanted to rebrand the company that already had the brand awareness people were using it as a verb to "pay online" (as in "I'll paypal you the money")

X.com is not currently owned by Musk. It is held by a domain registrar (I believe GoDaddy but I'm not entirely sure). Meaning as long as he's hung onto this idea of making X Corp a thing, he couldn't be arsed to pay the $15/year domain renewal.

Bloomberg estimates the rebranding wiped between $4 to $20 billion from the valuation of Twitter due to the loss of brand awareness.

The company was already worth less than half of the $44 billion Musk paid for it in the first place, meaning this may end up a worse deal than when Yahoo bought Tumblr.

One estimation (though this is with a grain of salt) said that Twitter is three months from defaulting on its loans taken out to buy the site. Those loans were secured with Tesla stock. Meaning the bank will seize that stock and, since it won't be enough to pay the debt (since it's worth around 50-75% of what it was at the time of the loan), they can start seizing personal assets of Elon Musk including the Twitter company itself and his interest in SpaceX.

Sesame Street's official accounts mocked the rebranding.

[anathemaspeaks]

you and gojo satoru are the perfect couple. even if nobody else could match your energy, he most definitely always would. you don't remember a single moment when you're not in sync with him.

you're laughing at something stupid? he's right next to you, doubled over with tears in his eyes. you're telling him about your day? better believe he'd be nodding along and interrupting you to ask questions just to know every little detail.

you're listening to old disney songs while baking? he's right behind you, arms effortlessly manoeuvring you across the kitchen floor, dipping and twirling you around while singing at the top of his lungs (rather horrendously) along with you.

you want ice cream at midnight? he's on it! (with some for him too, obviously) feeling clingy? he'll shower you in all the affection you've asked for and more, absolutely refusing to let you go. you just told him a really cheesy pick up line? better believe he's gonna blush, giggle and kick his feet before replying with an even worse one.

and oh boy, get ready to be tossed around like a sack of potatoes when he's around. he picks you up randomly all the time, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck just to hear those sweet laughs from you.

he's never believed in soulmates until he found you, to be honest.

you made him feel heard and known. you saw him for who he really was, and you reciprocated his love in a way he never would've imagined anyone could. you loved him for more than his exterior (and you most definitely match his freak).

he'd also never experienced love at first sight until he saw you.

he was absolutely floored by how gorgeous you were, your smile so radiant it made him grin right back with a dopey look in his eyes. you stole his breath away.

shit, he didn't even know your name at the time, yet he could swear he was in love with you.

satoru really loves every little thing about you. he would worship the ground you walk on if you let him. he would bring down the moon from the sky if you asked him to.

this man is whipped, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote

The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.

I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.

Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.

I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.

I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.

[mccromy]

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense against the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost sight of Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from a sullen Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu's wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

[plumipal]

The Tattoo (part two)

After scarabias overblot, and seeing what ace and Deuce were willikg to do for you, you were so touched that you decided ro get them tattooed on your body as a small heart and a spade. After that chaos ensues-

If you wanna read the whole prolouge, then it's here

Floyd feels a lot. He feels betrayed and enraged over the tattoo, feeling the urge to fight those two damn guppies you call friends. How dare you betray your mate like this, you were meant to be! Atleast he will show you that he will fight for his mate, if that's good or bad that's for you to decide...

He hates the tattoo, yet as much as he hates it he can't really put the anger onto you. It's that damn mackerel and crabs fault! They must have forced you into it! Don't worry, like the good mate he is he will mark over their dumb marks, showing who's boss. He hates hurting you but he needs to do what has to be done to show that you're his...

Jade is... off. As soon as he hears about the tattoo his composure just, shatters. He cant understand why you would play him like this, you're quite cruel aren't you? Playing him like this, making him lose his composure... you want him to kill to show how much he cares? Because he will- in fact, he will use any dirty tricks in the book to make sure he wins, magic or not..

If magic won't work, he will result to desperately trying to insert himself into your life more than he already has. You'll have a personal butler at this point, one begging for your attention and affection,, to think all this started because of a harmless tattoo...

Azul is about to throw up. The world is spinning, he feels like he is about to throw up. This can't be happening, right?? You, you really hate him don't you? Why else would you get those two troublemakers a tattoo but not him...

The desperation gets worse, the longer he thinks about it. He cant stop crying, having to lock himself in the vip lounge so nobody sees how this issue has reduced him to a sobbing little crybaby. The desperation turns somewhat into determination, the urge to write up the best contract ever to make you happy, maybe throw in a little condition where you need to get a matching tattoo with him..

Jamil is about to have another overblot. He, he is the reason? His overblot? He can't, he cant take it. Being the main reason for the tattoo makes him lose his mind. He avoids you for a week, nor being able to look at you without losing his composure and crying on the spot.

Desperation grows, turing ugly. He cant control himself, searching you out after a week of not seeing you. He begs for forgiveness, for you to not hate him, please, he begs you... He needs you, he needs you in his life, he needs you to love and cherish him, to be your number one.

Kalim feels off. This is one of the few times where he doesn't get what he wants. It's an unknown feeling, a hated feeling. He could be fine with anything else, bur a tattoo of your friends? Isn't he your friend too?? Is it because of the overblot that happened at his dorm? He will get you anything if it means that you'll forgive him! Please, he is begging you..

The jealousy grows, turning into an ugly mess. He cant help but hate on the Adeuce duo, hating them for taking you from him. He tries to endlessly gift you anything you look at for more than a second, trying to get you to spend countless hours at scarabia with several parties a week that always end in a romantic carpet ride. He tries really hard, okay? Just let him show you he is the best choise...

Epel is enraged, how dare you? The emotions get too intense, and he storms off. He cant believe you, picking favourites in your group? They may have been there before you but he loves you way more than they could ever love you!

He is in constant state of dissaray the first day, his anger rising the more he thinks about it. The anger stops being directed towards you and instead those two dumbasses, Ace and Deuce. He cant stand their asses! Going straight to battle living shit out of them.

Only, that isn't how it goes for him. He gets his ass kicked with everyone he tries to fight, getting so beat up he can barely stand up straight. Oh well, he can atleast leech off of you to nurse him back to health. You have to, please, he is begging for some alone time with you...

Also please someone help him with getting a new blazer, his old one is currently torn to shreds. The fights he got into wasn't really that good for him, since he is trying to fight people twice his size. Only for you, he would only go so far for you...

Rook feels... nothing. He can't bring himself to feel emotions currently, too stuck up on the tattoo. Sure, it's such a beautiful thing you care enough for someone that you would permanently etch that into your body. But why? Why couldn't it have been him? He is your friend too (he wish he was more to you, but that can wait, he will wait eons for you, only you)...

You feel bad for the man, wondering why he was so down all of the sudden. You still care about him (you care for everyone, they're you're friends after all), deciding to let him stay the night at ramshackle. He is forever grateful for your endless kindness, swearing to get into your good graces just so he can one day also get a tattoo..

Vil is desperate, he is emotional. The pain of not only comming second, but THIRD in your heart, it feels like you are stabbing him over and over again in the heart. He cant breathe, he cant stop the tears wellinh up in his eyes, he cant stop the emotions overflowimg his poor body. Why would you do something so heinous to this poor actor, he only wanted your love...

He has been acting since he was a little kid, yet this time he cant control his emotions, the stakes are too high. Your love is on the line! He can't stand to look himself in the mirror, feeling way too ugly for his emotions, his outbursts, his feelings. He wants to be enough for you, and he will do anything to achieve that..

THERES PART TWO DONE!!! The literal biggest thank you to @artdolliewishes for helping so much and expanding on the au with me!! It means so much to me that someone cares about a project I've done as much as I do :,)

Also I'm very sorry for being so delayed on posting, I went to the ER and all, I swear the students of nrc was trying to kill me lmao

[monstersflashlight]

Can i pls request a mischievous male fairy x reader where he keeps sprinkling aphrodisiac dust on her and hiding in her clothes to suck on her nipples/clit since he's so tiny >_<

Male!fairy x reader || size kink, sex-pollen, semi-public sex

Fairy boyfriend who likes to hide in your clothes when you less expect him to. He’s usually pretty tame and calm, he only likes to rest against your skin and maybe take a nap. He looks so tiny and cute inside your pocket or in the valley between your boobs and the bra. You can’t even be mad with him when he looks that adorable.

But it’s not always so cute or adorable.

Sometimes he likes a little bit more. Sometimes he likes to sparkle some magic on you and leave you to it, which sucks in a really bad way. But you don’t know if the alternative is better or worse. When he feels like it, he sparkles you with pixie dust. The horny kind of dust, the dust that makes your skin tingle and your pussy get so wet you have to throw your panties away after.

He looooooooves to use that on you.

Sometimes he plays with you for a while, if you are lucky he makes you come, but most times he doesn’t allow you to do that. He just likes to enjoy your body until he’s tired and he can nap in your pocket again. Leaving you restless, horny and dripping. So worked up you have to go push your hand inside your pants and rub one off at the grocery store bathroom, or in your car after a gym session, or at the company’s bathroom if he’s feeling particularly evil that day.

But how can you be mad at him when he’s so tiny and cute, right? But you are definitely mad. Especially when he decides it would be fun to get you the aphrodisiac right before a meeting. A meeting where you are presenting a very important project.

He sprinkles it over your clit and your nipples, his little body traveling inside your baggy clothes and making you gasp as you try to act casual walking to the conference room. You slip inside the bathroom to tell him to stop, but by the time you are locked in a stall, his hands are squeezing your nipple and your knees are giving out under you. You don’t know if you want to scream or beg, but right at that moment you can only cover your mouth as he works your nipples like a pro, until your panties are more than soaked and your center is aching with need. You can hear his laugh inside your clothes, like tinker-bells as he travels down your body. When he slips inside your pants, you don’t know if you should cheer or cry, your pussy almost in pain as he rubs his tiny body against your seam, his miniature tongue lapping your juices as his body rubs you in the perfect way.

Your orgasm catches you both off guard, his gasp for air as your juices gush out almost makes you laugh, but when you take him out of your pants and he looks at you with a satisfied smile and a big cum stain on his pants you can only curse him as you pull him inside your pocket.

You walk into that conference room with your panties ruined and a flushed face, if somebody notices, nobody says anything. But you know, you know your panties are destroyed and your fairy boyfriend is asleep inside your pocket. Fucking fae.

But well… you knew what you signed into when you decided to date a mischievous fairy. (And you enjoy it as much as he does.)

[milktiicup]

If it's alright to request, can you write any type of one shot or headcanons for Mr Scarletella? If you write for him.

blissful work life!

“Haunt my boss!” Mr. Scarletella tilts his head ever so slightly, and his sinister smile returns, ear to ear and even sending a chill down your spine. “Scare human?” he repeats.

warnings. no warnings!!! blissful love life ending but scarletella ver :3

You hate work. You hate working. Nobody likes to work, and yet here you are. You feel like you’ve been here for hours, but it’s only three hours into your eight hour shift at the office. You want to go home. 

You eye the clock, and decide to take your fourth toilet break within the hour. You stand up from your cubicle, successfully sneaking past your boss, and slip into the bathroom. 

You stare at yourself in the mirror- and man, you look tired. Even though you get eight hours every night, courtesy to Mr. Scarletella running his hand up and down your back that lulls you into the most blissful sleep, you still look exhausted. It’s like the minute you step into this office it drains all the energy from you, as if the building was a vampyr. 

You twist the handle of the sink, cold water running into the drain. You cup your hands, letting the water cool your skin down, and splash your face. For good measure, you do it again. You turn the tap off, and stretch your arms above your head, shoulders popping and back cracking.

Sure, the other world had things that tried to kill you at every corner, but at least you didn’t have to work. Grumbling, you make your way to the bathroom door. Reaching out, you pull the handle and…

Great. It’s locked. Who the fuck locks the bathroom door in the middle of the day?

You pull the handle once more. You scowl. How could this day possibly get any worse?

The lights flicker. 

You pull the nastiest face possible. 

The lights flicker again, and for a moment, they stay dark. When they turn back on, the bathroom is flooded with a crimson light that illuminates everything in the creepiest ways possible. 

You blink once, twice, and your tormenter turned roommate turned lover is standing right in front of you, umbrella in hand and a twisted smile on his face. 

“Scarletella!” you exclaim, mood brightening faster than the speed of light. You wrap your arms around him, and breathe in the aroma of fresh rain he radiates. 

He uses his free hand to wrap it around your waist, head dipping so his chin rests on your head. You sigh in content, grip tightening for a moment, then step back. 

You cup his face as you ask, “Why are you here?” 

Mr. Scarletella stares at you, his normal eyes dull and unemotional. “Want you home,” he replies, and pulls you closer by the arm around your waist. “Like you.”

Huh. The clingy type. Mr. Scarletella wasn’t one for verbosity; he was all intense stares and small, deliberate gestures that said more than words ever could. Still, hearing him say he missed you… God, you knew he wasn’t the greatest of guys morally, but how can he be so cute?

You let your fingers linger against his cold cheek, tracing the faint line of his jaw. “I like you too,” you admit, your voice softer than intending. “But I stay. I work. Money, and boring human stuff…”

His umbrella twitches slightly in his hand. “Long time, I wait.”

“I know… It sucks,” you grumble. 

You feel his grip tighten ever so slightly, like he’s afraid you might slip away if he loosens it. His face inches closer, his dark eyes searching yours, and he lets out a low hum that resonates in the quiet bathroom. “You should not be here,” he murmurs, his voice a mix of frustration and something softer, more tender. “Place… Change you. You tired.”

You can’t argue with that; he’s not wrong. The fluorescent lights, the endless spreadsheets, the hollow hum of office chatter—it all feels like it’s sucking the life out of you. Reality doesn’t care about that, does it? Bills don’t stop just because you’re tired.

“Belong with me,” he concludes, and his face rests in the crook of your neck. It’s a statement, you realise, not a plea. “Want you home.”

Your heart squeezes. There’s something undeniably sweet about his devotion. He doesn’t understand your world any more than you understand his, but he’s trying. For you.

You sigh, letting your hand rest on his red hair. “But I have to finish my shift. If I leave now, my boss will—”

“Boss?” Mr. Scarletella interrupts, his tone sharp, head tilting just enough to make you nervous. “Hurt you?”

“No!” you reply quickly, shaking your head. “No one’s hurting me, Scarletella. My boss just… yells. A lot. It’s annoying, but not dangerous.”

He doesn’t seem convinced. Mr. Scarletella stands straight, and his grip on your waist tightens just slightly. As emotionless as his eyes could get, they somehow got darker. “Yell… you?” His voice drops an octave, each word dripping with quiet menace.

You groan, leaning your forehead against his chest. “Not just me. Everyone. That’s just how jobs are. Humans yell, Scarletella. It’s annoying, but it’s normal.”

Silence hangs in the very romantic bathroom rendezvous, and it’s almost as if a lightbulb appears above your head.

“Haunt my boss!”

Mr. Scarletella tilts his head ever so slightly, and his sinister smile returns, ear to ear and even sending a chill down your spine. “Scare human?” he repeats.

You nod enthusiastically, grinning as the idea takes hold. “Yes! Just a little scare, nothing too extreme. Maybe flicker the lights, whisper some creepy stuff—just enough to get them to back off for a while. Think you can handle that?”

Mr. Scarletella’s twisted smile widens, a gleam of mischief flickering in his dark eyes. “Scare. Easy.” His umbrella twitches again. “Human… respect you.”

You laugh, patting his chest. “That’s the spirit- but seriously, don’t overdo it, okay? No disappearing desks or spectral possessions or whatever it is you do.”

“Only little scare,” he promises, his tone so dry and serious you almost believe he’ll stick to it. Almost.

“Good,” you say, stepping back and smoothing your clothes. “I’m counting on you, Scarletella. Just don’t get me fired, alright?”

His head tilts again, as if the concept of fired remains an enigma to him, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he lifts his umbrella with a flourish, and the crimson glow fades, leaving the bathroom bathed in normal, boring fluorescent light. The door creaks open on its own.

Before stepping out, you glance over your shoulder, giving him a playful wink. “See you at home, okay?”

Scarletella doesn’t respond with words—just a faint nod and an unreadable look that lingers as you leave.

The rest of your shift is... eventful. About an hour after returning to your desk, the atmosphere in the office changes. Your boss, notorious for their constant yelling and micromanaging, suddenly goes pale. They stammer through a meeting, jumping at every little sound, and eventually retreats to their office, slamming the door behind them.

Rumors spread quickly. Some say the lights in the break room flickered ominously, others whisper about strange whispers echoing through the hallways. A few claim they saw shadows moving where no one was standing. It took all of your will power not to cackle.

By the end of the day, your boss is uncharacteristically quiet, avoiding everyone- including you. You pack up your things with a spring in your step, skipping out of the building. You finally got to leave work early for once!

When you get home, Scarletella is waiting for you, perched on the couch with his umbrella resting against his leg. His eyes meet yours as you walk in, and you can sense the smugness radiating off him.

“Did you behave?” you tease, dropping your bag by the door.

“Boss quiet,” he replies simply, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile. “Respect you now.”

You burst out laughing, flopping onto the couch beside him. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

Scarletella doesn’t answer. He just wraps an arm around you, pulling you close, his cool touch grounding you after the day’s chaos. As his hand starts tracing soothing circles on your back, you let out a content sigh.

Well, thank God it was raining today. 

[ayo-edebiri]

He used to be fine. He was better than fine. He was great. He was my dad. Then about four years ago, he… started acting strange. Erratic, forgetful, saying all this weird shit. My mom took him to a bunch of doctors, and they put him on medication. But that just made it worse. He got more confused. Then he got angry. And then he got… physical. That was it. That was the last straw. They put him away. And she divorced him… without him even realizing it. That’s why she wants a whole new life. And it’s easy to just stash me away in boarding school. Like half of us are just stashed away there. And I get it. She never has to look at me. Because maybe when she looks at me, she… she sees him. Maybe she’s right. I can’t keep it together. I lie. I steal. I piss people off. I don’t have any friends, real friends. I’ll probably get kicked out of Barton too. And when I do, it’ll be my own fault. Get sent to Fork Union and maybe to youknowwhere. And nobody will care. The funny thing is… I wanted to see him so bad this whole time. But I also didn’t, you know? Because I’m afraid that’s what’s going to happen to me one day.

The Holdovers (2023) dir. Alexander Payne