#nobody will ever use this but i wanna feel like i didnt waste too much time learning the addon so up here it goes (:

[semiaquatic-ambience]

suddenly remembered that a few years ago, i was playing as "doofnshmirtz" on a classic(wrath) World of Warcraft private server. as part of the bit, I decided I needed spell cooldown macros that kept in-character, so I adapted a bunch from the show. it was a huge hit with my raid.

<spell link> adds the name of the spell into the phrase, so it turns into something like this.

"Ah, [name], your timing is insuppressible. And by insuppressible I mean COMPLETELY [Pain Suppression]IBLE!"

these are all for a defensive spell for allies; it is bubble-shaped, so i used mostly trap themed dialogue.

"[name], I made this [Pain Suppression] out of something that cannot be penetrated... PURE EVIL. And a blend of space-age polymers."

"I must apologise, [name], all of my [Pain Suppression] are platypus-sized."

"Comfortable, [name]? I made that [Pain Suppression] so that every limb is accounted for."

"Ahh, [name], you got yourself in quite a [Pain Suppression] there. See, 'cause, it's a [Pain Suppression], and you're inside it."

"Do you know what we do to [name] around here? We put them in a water-soluble [Pain Suppression]."

"It's a quick-hardening, non-dairy [Pain Suppression], [name]. Like I said, I'm on a budget."

"There, that's better, [name]. I much prefer you trussed up in my happy-[Pain Suppression]-inator."

"Ahh, [name]. Come in, get [Pain Suppression], listen to my backstory."

"Why the chef's hat, you ask? It's the cheapest way I could find to [Pain Suppression]."

"Nothing like a [Pain Suppression]ed [name] to tie the decor of a room together."

"[name], I have a present for youuu... and by present of course I mean [Pain Suppression]."

"I've got you now, [name]. This is the most sophisticated [Pain Suppression] I have ever invented."

the next one's for a similar (but different) spell Guardian Spirit which resurrects you if you die while it's active.

"You're trapped in a [Guardian Spirit]! Yes, I know, I trapped [name] before in a Pain Suppression but this is different, it's a [Guardian Spirit]."

(it's wing-shaped, so i also put in various wing-themed lines.)

"[name]?! Oh thank goodness, I thought you were the guy with my [Guardian Spirit] hot wings."

"With this [Guardian Spirit], [name] will elect me as the Mayor of the Tri-[current location] Area... at least I think that's how it works."

"Do you like this [Guardian Spirit], [name]? I got it very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt."

"Cute little [Guardian Spirit], isn't it, [name]? I got the idea at my cousin Gertrude's baby shower."

"Would you like some hot cocoa, [name]? No? Then how about a [Guardian Spirit]?!"

"Do you like my new [Guardian Spirit], [name]? I got it from a second-hand shark supply store. It was half off because, you know, something bit half of it off."

"Amazing what you can do with [Guardian Spirit], which you'd know if you were a real plumber, [name]."

"Do you like my [Guardian Spirit], [name]? It's bio-degradable."

"Heyyy, great [Guardian Spirit], [name], that's the bees knees. Or... wings, in this case."

"Do you like all the stuff I got at the garage sale, [name]? Wanna know what else I got? THIS [Guardian Spirit]!",

i'll include the original script versions below (not that anyone wants these scripts, because the speakinspell addon only works with a ~2010 client)

if you think of another game to use them in i would be thrilled. let me know.

["UNIT_SPELLCAST_CHANNEL_STARTDIVINE_HYMN"] = { ["ExpandMacros"] = false, ["Messages"] = { "BEHOLD! MY <spelllink>-INATOR!!", -- [1] },

["UNIT_SPELLCAST_SUCCEEDEDGUARDIAN_SPIRIT"] = { ["ExpandMacros"] = false, ["Messages"] = { "With this <spelllink>, <target> will elect me as the Mayor of the Tri-<zone> Area... at least I think that's how it works.", -- [1] "Do you like this <spelllink>, <target>? I got it very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt.", -- [2] "<target>?! Oh thank goodness, I thought you were the guy with my <spelllink> hot wings.", -- [3] "Cute little <spelllink>, isn't it, <target>? I got the idea at my cousin Gertrude's baby shower. ", -- [4] "You want to be a bird, <target>? Is that what you want? Well this <spelllink> is how you become a bird.", -- [5] "Would you like some hot cocoa, <target>? No? Then how about a <spelllink>?!", -- [6] "Do you like my new <spelllink>, <target>? I got it from a second-hand shark supply store. It was half off because, you know , something bit half of it off.", -- [7] "Amazing what you can do with <spelllink>, which you'd know if you were a real plumber, <target>.", -- [8] "Do you like my <spelllink>, <target>? It's bio-degradable.", -- [9] "Heyyy, great <spelllink>, <target>, that's the bees knees. Or... wings, in this case.", -- [10] "Do you like all the stuff I got at the garage sale, <target>? Wanna know what else I got? THIS <spelllink>!", -- [11] "You're trapped in a <spelllink>! Yes, I know, I trapped <target> before in a Pain Suppression but this is different, it's a <spelllink>.", -- [12] }, ["WhisperTarget"] = false, ["RPLanguageRandomChance"] = 0.5, ["ReadOnly"] = { ["Do you like all the stuff I got at the garage sale, <target>? Wanna know what else I got? THIS <spelllink>!"] = true, ["Do you like my <spelllink>, <target>? It's bio-degradable."] = true, ["Would you like some hot cocoa, <target>? No? Then how about a <spelllink>?!"] = true, ["Do you like my new <spelllink>, <target>? I got it from a second-hand shark supply store. It was half off because, you know , something bit half of it off."] = true, ["You want to be a bird, <target>? Is that what you want? Well this <spelllink> is how you become a bird."] = true, ["<target>?! Oh thank goodness, I thought you were the guy with my <spelllink> hot wings."] = true, ["Cute little <spelllink>, isn't it, <target>? I got the idea at my cousin Gertrude's baby shower. "] = true, ["You're trapped in a <spelllink>! Yes, I know, I trapped <target> before in a Pain Suppression but this is different, it's a <spelllink>."] = true, ["Heyyy, great <spelllink>, <target>, that's the bees knees. Or... wings, in this case."] = true, ["With this <spelllink>, <target> will elect me as the Mayor of the Tri-<zone> Area... at least I think that's how it works."] = true, ["Amazing what you can do with <spelllink>, which you'd know if you were a real plumber, <target>."] = true, ["Do you like this <spelllink>, <target>? I got it very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt."] = true, },

["UNIT_SPELLCAST_SUCCEEDEDPAIN_SUPPRESSION"] = { ["ExpandMacros"] = false, ["Messages"] = { "Ah, <target>, your timing is insuppressible. And by insuppressible I mean COMPLETELY <spelllink>IBLE!", -- [1] "<target>, I made this <spelllink> out of something that cannot be penetrated... PURE EVIL. And a blend of space-age polymers.", -- [2] "I must apologise, <target>, all of my <spelllink> are platypus-sized.", -- [3] "Comfortable, <target>? I made that <spelllink> so that every limb is accounted for.", -- [4] "Ahh, <target>, you got yourself in quite a <spelllink> there. See, 'cause, it's a <spelllink>, and you're inside it.", -- [5] "Do you know what we do to <target> around here? We put them in a water-soluble <spelllink>.", -- [6] "It's a quick-hardening, non-dairy <spelllink>, <target>. Like I said, I'm on a budget.", -- [7] "There, that's better, <target>. I much prefer you trussed up in my happy-<spelllink>-inator.", -- [8] "Ahh, <target>. Come in, get <spelllink>, listen to my backstory.", -- [9] "Why the chef's hat, you ask? It's the cheapest way I could find to <spelllink> <target>.", -- [10] "Nothing like a <spelllink>ed <target> to tie the decor of a room together.", -- [11] "<target>, I have a present for youuu... and by present of course I mean <spelllink>.", -- [12] "I've got you now, <target>. This is the most sophisticated <spelllink> I have ever invented.", -- [13] }, ["WhisperTarget"] = false, ["RPLanguageRandomChance"] = 0.5, ["ReadOnly"] = { ["Why the chef's hat, you ask? It's the cheapest way I could find to <spelllink> <target>."] = true, ["Comfortable, <target>? I made that <spelllink> so that every limb is accounted for."] = true, ["<target>, I made this <spelllink> out of something that cannot be penetrated... PURE EVIL. And a blend of space-age polymers."] = true, ["It's a quick-hardening, non-dairy <spelllink>, <target>. Like I said, I'm on a budget."] = true, ["I must apologise, <target>, all of my <spelllink> are platypus-sized."] = true, ["I've got you now, <target>. This is the most sophisticated <spelllink> I have ever invented."] = true, ["Ahh, <target>, you got yourself in quite a <spelllink> there. See, 'cause, it's a <spelllink>, and you're inside it."] = true, ["Nothing like a <spelllink>ed <target> to tie the decor of a room together."] = true, ["Ahh, <target>. Come in, get <spelllink>, listen to my backstory."] = true, ["There, that's better, <target>. I much prefer you trussed up in my happy-<spelllink>-inator."] = true, ["Ah, <target>, your timing is insuppressible. And by insuppressible I mean COMPLETELY <spelllink>IBLE!"] = true, ["Do you know what we do to <target> around here? We put them in a water-soluble <spelllink>."] = true, ["<target>, I have a present for youuu... and by present of course I mean <spelllink>."] = true, },

[dontyoufinditstrange]

From Under The Cork Tree Lyrics That Alter My Brain Chemistry

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued

"the ribbon on my wrist says 'do not open before christmas'" "we're only liars, but we're the best" "its just past 8 and i'm feeling young and reckless"

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World

"i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive, now i only waste it dreaming of you" "we're sleeping through all the memories"

Dance, Dance

"tonight it's 'it can't get much worse' versus ' no one should ever feel like'" "i'm two quarters and a heart down" "and i don't wanna forget how your voice sounds" "these words are all i have so i'll write them so you need them just to get by" "this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loves me"

Sugar, We're Going Down

"i'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song" "a loaded god complex, cock it and pull it" "isn't it messed up how i'm just dying to be him?"

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

"i keep my jealousy close cause its all mine" "hand behind this pen relives a failure every day" "so wear me like a locket around your throat, i'll wear you down, i'll watch you choke"

I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)

"we're the kids who feel like dead ends" "and the poets are just kids who didnt make it and never had it at all" "force our smiles, baby, half dead, from comparing myself to everyone else around me" "please put the doctor on the phone cause i'm not making any sense" "blame everyone but me for this mess" "and my back has been breaking from this heavy heart" "i'm hopelessly hopeful you're just hopeless enough"

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen)

"i keep tellin myself, i keep tellin myself i'm not the desperate type, but you've got me looking through blinds" "trying to forget everything that isn't you" "i'm not going home alone, cause i dont do too well on my own"

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year

"cause i swear i'd burn the city down to show you the light" "no matter what they say, don't believe a word" "cause i'll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it" "take our tears, put em on ice" "ashamed of the way the songs and the words own the beating of our hearts" "got a sunset in my veins" "i need to take a pill to make this town feel okay" "i need to keep you like this in my mind"

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends

"you are a getaway car, rush of blood to the head" "we only do it for the scars and stories, but not the fame" "at least everyone is trying, everyone is shining, everyone deserves the flames, but its such a shame" "the sounds of this small town make my ears hurt" "the tide's out, the ship's run aground, we drown traitors in shallow water"

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me

"you're the only place that feels like home" "i'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends" "i am sorry my conscience called in sick again" "i've got arrogance down to a science" "they call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone" "but for what we've become we just feel more alone" "so progress report: i am missing you to death"

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"

"you're just the girl all the boys wanna dance with and i'm just the boy who's had too many chances" "i don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it" "write me off, give up on me, cause darling what did you expect?"

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows)

"we never stood a chance and i'm not sure if it matters" "i'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town" "i know this hurts, it was meant to" "it's mind over you don't, don't matter" "it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming into microphones for attention because we're just so bored" "we never knew that you would pick it apart" "i'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts"

XO

"i left my conscience pressed between the pages of the bible in the drawer" "love never wanted me, but i took it anyway" "choose love or sympathy" "loose lips sink ships"

[slime-stew]

i hate how reblog icon just goes away so the only way i know if i have reboggef is the little 'like icon but this is not enough because sometimes i do not know if if have just liked it or i liked it last momth so i apoligize if i just reblogged the same shit you already saw. then again thats all anyone posts anymore its all just tumblr post of tiktoks of tweets of facebook posts that got reposted to reddit twice and the jpeg is so fried it becomed burnt . i am in so much pain and i cannot sleep so hopefully a stream of consciousness will stop my brain from yelling at me. i dont like how the joke of "there's too many standards so we should make our own standard that works with all if them". in some ways this is how i feel about conlangs and numbering systems cuz they're kinda cool but i can barely speak english so a useless language hurts me on a deeper level. it feels like a waste of brain for me to even comprehend. if you don't use a language to communicate then is it language? why not say theway to conjugate your past tense is to piss really loudly. go crazy. actually there is that hat one i think called kay fop b or whatever who cares we're gonna die at some point and i dont want my longest lasting contribution to society to be some joke hat language. actually what happened to hats. we went from like fedora trilby and it all lead yp to beanies and shit. even baseball cap feels like a dying breed. shit is so itchy i hate how it feel i do not understand how people wear hats. maybe thats it but theres still so many of u beanie people. i am not the person to ask for fashion advice i can barely find clothes to wear on a given day sometimes. i got hella fat and now i feel terrible about myself and my appearance and none of my clothes fit. i got so many garments that have negative stretch like if i even attempt to fit in this it will break. i just wanna wear an infinite clothiny that i dont have to care aboit. just like a big gray bodysuit that makes me imperceptible. granted even when i was less chubby i didnt want to be percieved either so maybe i just dont like how i look lmao. probably dysphoria in there somewhere who knows i just feel so tired and lazy i dont got shit and i have nothin to feel good about so i have just put up with feeling snd looking like human waste all the damb time . i think they should make a new flavor of powerade thats like coconut or coconut lime kinda like that drink from sonic the ocean water. if it was coconut you could make it just light blue cuz theres no cloudy light blue powerade and that would look good. like one of those fortnite drinks they have in the jars that looks kinda tasty. if you made it coconut lime it could be cloudy green like that terrible cucumber lime gatorade. the last time they made new flavors of powerade was like summer 2021 and those flavors are discontinued now. but they only made zero versions of them so im not surprised if they did poorly. also they never make cool names like. Glacier Freeze. thats the berry orange one. Cool Blue is literally just orange or blue curacao flavor. Arctic Blitz was supposed to be honeydew watermelon but it tasted so awful and i love both of those flavors. even just like Fierce Grape is a cooler name but its literally just grape or whatever. Sorry i meant

Grape whoa this shit is neat i'm so glad tumblr has actual text markup options like lets go i love strikethru its so handy i use it on discord all the time too. in a way it somehow both useful as a serious and as a joking indicator but in very obvious ways... probably because i start them with "but" or "except" or stuff like that. i love that i can just type into this box forever and nobody will ever see it and its all just for me yippee! but at least i have the option and unless someone loves stupid walls of text nobody will be forced to see it. gordon freeman big naturals. gorgonzola freeman. spinda pokemon wearing jorts. who up playin with they zeebo. what ever happened to that gon go gab galab guy wheres his revival bring that energy into 2011 fr. wish i was better at chess but i'm so scared of other people so i only play against my friends and the computer. i was in the middle of typin out all this shit amd i was informed that there is a limit to paragprah soze but if u hit enter its chill. it goes away so i made a newline on Grape because its funny to put that there. i think we should work on milking funnier animals. we already milk nuts and rhey dont even have udders but like whats kangaroo milk taste like. i bet its all churned up and creamy cuz they be hopping all the damn time. actually its probably bitter and shitty snd the only reason joeys drink it is because theyre too young and small and crap poopoo to know any better. its like kangaroo buttermilk or kangaroo soylent. reminds me of that angry slappy the squirrel she said something about buttermilk i barely remember animaniacs but it was a good show i had that shit on multiple dvds. i wanted to try that new soylent because it is my guilty pleasure that i want the future to be at least slightly cool about eating stupid foods and not dystopian. 🎁 i seriously cannot believe that someone has ever licked their elbow. it probably has piss on it. luigis mansion 3ds remake. its crazy how most of thr star fox games are either just the snes game again or are some weird shit like adventure or guard. in a way counter strike is the same cuz theres just the first game and then a remake and another remake and then there's a different game entirely that was supposed to be the single player but its a new game. and then there's cs go which was at launch kinda like the second remake but with new shit? like they named the guns correctly and u can play on a l4d map and thry replaced the tmp. but now cs2 is basically a csgo update even though its look like a new game but u play through the csgo launcher and u play on the same dust2. so theres like 3 games but somehow we sre on counterstrike 2. chicken enchilada. thatd a funny trick to play on god. i bet they got some crazy ass soup on mars.i gotta wait so long to see the mario movie. i bet you could jist randomly generate memes by putting hip hop vocals over kevin macleod instrumentals and people woild eat that shit up. my eyeballs are stsrting to hurt goodnight tumblr or is it good morning? ive been typing for so long i cant help it

edit: metal gear solid 2. its good but 3 is better and should have been the Action Game for the ps2 at the smithsonian that shit is rad

[toriwakes]

Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]

summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.

content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol

a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!

convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.

“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...

it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.

hey :)

how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.

hello

he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.

i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?

no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.

ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.

ohh. maybe i should start doing that.

how do you mean?

oh.

that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.

what is it?

no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.

oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.

hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.

no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.

this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.

yes?

his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.

what’s your name?

godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...

lila.

why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.

that’s a pretty name.

thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)

you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.

call me morgan.

oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.

if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?

depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?

no!

you giggled to yourself at your humor.

i wanna meet you.

you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.

where do you live?

quantico virginia.

no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...

shit, me too. let’s meet up then.

i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.

holy fuck.

♡♥♡♥���♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”

[axemetaphor]

oh i have looked for a one of these for an ot3 for So Long adn finally i found one this is amaziing

these are just my headcanons and because i can Never help myself im gonna go on a ramble under the cut

so in canon babe/baby seems to be dave & amy's Thing, their go-to petnames, and i think to avoid any kinda confusion john & amy would adopt 'honey' as their go-to petnames. john and dave dont often use pet names with each other so like. the 2 that i wrote down there are Rarely Used but they Are used every now and then. most of the time theyre just "dude (romantically)"

i dont actually know their canon ages at this point like i think in book 3 theyre mid/late-20s, but overall i think theyre all pretty close in age. i think amy is a year younger than them, and of the two dudes dave is older by just like. 2 months lmao

i think amy & dave was a case of love-at-first-sight while john & dave was more a case of them both just slowly falling into it. amy probably also fell in love w john slower than she did with dave but still faster than it took the two of them to fuckin Sort Their Shit Out lmao

also the 'misadventures' chart was really difficult because really john and dave are constantly getting themselves into and out of trouble but In General i think john tends to poke the metaphorical bear the most. and amy is kinda always willing to join in the shenanigans much as dave would rather she didnt and would keep herself safe lmao

I put amy as the one who budgets because in my opinion john simply Cant Budget, nobody ever taught him, and dave's version of budgeting is Just Don't Really Spend Money, which can be kinda unhealthy. i think either her parents or Big Jim could've taught amy at least a little about budgeting and therefore she's got the best idea of how to actually Live and not Just Survive or Waste Money lmao

In Defense Of Saying Dave Would Admit His Feelings First: honestly a Lot of the dynamic between john and dave is that dave has a lot of hangups and john knows Exactly Why and therefore is very cautious with him/lets dave take most of the initiative. which doesnt happen much because dave is equally afraid of violating any kind of boundary. SO i think it would go that amy nudges dave into telling john how he feels, because john is never going to be the one to approach dave, because he doesnt wanna upset the guy

john and dave would Not let amy die to protect them but rest assured, emotionally, she is also on that level.

important note: while amy will scream about a bug she will also squash it. shes no coward she just Gets Startled. dave also will let out what he'd tell you is a very manly squeak if he sees a particularly big spider.

to amend the Experience Slider: i think amy has more experience with online/long-distance relationships than either of the other two. but john definitely has the most experience overall, dave's way too shy

i think dave is Technically Detached like. he Seems To Be detached. but we all know in reality he would probably die without john and amy

dave's better with verbal affection when it comes to john because again, He Has Some Hangups. in general i think he fluctuates between more verbal/more physical as i think he sometimes has phases of "nobody touch me, ever"

john imo gets Very Jealous Very Easily but not in an angry/possessive way more like if someone else hits on dave/amy he will for sure pull the "this guy bothering you, babe?" if they seem even slightly uncomfortable about it. like. he trusts them of course, but hes also Jealous yknow he very much wants other people to Know He's There lmao

its actually Almost Sad that dave kind of Has to be the clothes-lender in the trio because he could probably only fit into some of john's jackets lmao. but john and amy swap clothes a lot imo and of course they both steal dave's shirts and hoodies all the time

John Needs Attention So Much. he most definitely will interrupt something the other two are doing to Politely Demand Attention either by way of Being Involved (he's the worst backseat-writer when Dave is working) or just convincing them to take a break to talk to him

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

ayo the thought of having to go back to school in a little over a month is fucking wild. like.....i feel like i just got out of school and binge watched invincible for the first time. IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. it’s extremely scary thinking about how fast time is passing by because i keep doing the same thing everyday. there’s barely any change in anything. not allowed outside. my IRL friends arent vaxxed yet, and even if they were, my mom’s suspicious of my intentions when going out. and lets not get into the fact that school doesnt stress me out as much, but i’ll be damned if i dont have awful test anxiety still. i feel like everything is fucking passing me by and that sucks ASS. my classmates are going out to beaches and shit, and posting on insta (good for them, i probably need to touch some grass) but like?? i feel like im just being robbed of my life. and teen years and all that. 

i know the pandemic has been hard for LITERALLY everyone. (if you said 2020 was a good year, hush, you’re alone in that regard bestie, dont wanna hear it) but i just......im finally recognizing feelings and all that (shit’s scary man) my thoughts dont match my body whatsoever (not dysphoria, its derealization, or something similar). thats so scary to me. sometimes i catch myself in the mirror and im talking and im like...”thats not me.....oh fuck, it is me.” so i dont look in the mirror and talk aloud, is what im saying. i’ll have a breakdown. but im extremely extroverted. i love people, and seeing people and hugging people. and not feeling like every day that i spend inside of my fucking house is a waste of time because time travel doesnt exist and i cant get any of these days back. at all. it is a never ending cycle. i just want a hug, dude. i’ve never experienced cuddling before either. i would love to platonically cuddle someone. but i got rid of toxic friends (still not over it) and got very radicalized...but for what. my own knowledge and betterment.....but eh. plus i traumadump, nobody wants to hear my sob story, i need to hush. and get in contact with my therapist. and discuss my anxiety issues. and possible depression. and PTSD and so many other things because it’s really not cute. anyways.

also heyy, my body issues are back. like?? hello. not that they ever went away, they just steep for a bit, then start boiling back. and that’s torture for me. having a generally okay body is fine, but then i realize that when i do wear pants, they’re either my overalls (comfort and queerness) or jeans. and yay those are tighter than they were last time. and i know weight fluctuation is a thing that happens, but i really feel like i could do more to not feel as bad. (i mean, sure, i could, but exercising makes me feel horrible mentally so). i see classmates thin and everything (i know thin isnt always healthy, but a part of me wishes that i was bone thin, we wont talk about it) and i know “every body is a bikini body” and i support that initiative 1,000 percent, but A. i have no idea if my parents would even let me get one if i wanted one (i dont) and B. i dont have the confidence to wear something like that. i even hate the fucking swimsuit that i have. i want the fucking full length victorian swimsuits with a shirt and fucking shorts because i cant stand being exposed. my stomach pokes out too much. my arms arent muscly like they were some years back. i just feel....so weird. and the “oh she’s smart, she cant be hot.” one or the other type shit that my brain keeps trying to tell me is real ia NASTY. like heyyy i have a brain, and i use it most days, but my body also shouldnt be fuckshitted like this. this collection of skin and bones keeps me safe (but not from my brain, its on some different shit)

another thing is that i can not wear exposing things. ugh, i would feel so just....out in the open. im literally scared of someone coming behind me and fucking groping me, or slapping my ass. (valid fear) but i literally fucking HATE feeling like that. one, I AM UNDERAGED, and two, ITS NASTY EITHER WAY. and if i went to school, and wore something mildly form fitting, i’d be pushing my body forward to look less noticeable (i dont trust seniors), or pulling my jacket down (i always wear jackets in school) so people arent looking at me. that sucks. and i wish i didnt make my anxiety that bad as to where it just sucks to exist. with a human flesh prison that looks a certain way. i kinda just want to hide my body. permanently. (not dysphoria related, my tits are fine, if they stay, cool, if they don’t, cool) but like...ugh.

and this is where it gets EXTREMELY dark, trigger warning for suicide mention.

yeah last year on the first week of school (virtual) i really wanted to kill myself. which like..isnt okay. i havent really told anyone about that either. because it was an extremely low point for me. i just didn’t think that i could fucking make it through the entire year. all those assignments, and all those days, wasted. im not learning anything valuable (besides maybe science and finance)...i dont know what the fuck i want to do with my life. there’s no such thing as ethical consumption so i’m gonna be contributing to something fucked up, no matter what i do. im weird. and political. and opinionated. and into so many different things. which, y’know, should be cool and fun and fresh. but it terrifies me to know that other people arent like me. that they many never understand my interests. and i feel like this with EVERYONE in EVERY class. unless i see a similar interest. or a tiny flag. but the thought of introducing myself again and again. to more people. who i may never fucking see again. who probably dont care about me. kinda discourages you a bit. so yeah, i really wanted to off myself. it seemed so impossible to get through everything. and then heyyy, near the end of the year, something really shitty happened. was depressed. told my mom i may be autistic... “okay...well....getting diagnoses takes a lot of money. so unless you have 700 bucks laying around....then no.” (who says the person who may ALSO be autistic along with me) few weeks back, talking about my therapist who wanted to talk through the DSM-4 with me “you really think you’re autistic huh.” of course mom. why else would i have written a paper about it, followed actually autistic accounts, and done research on it.

then near the next year, i sucked even more ass. friend shit broke me down and i felt....like i fucked up. which i did. and like i cant keep people in my life. (which is partially true) and i felt more physically exhausted than i had in literal years. i feel very deeply, and especially with negative emotions. so that really fucked me up. (may be something more serious, i have no idea) so there’s that. i just....i’ve never felt like i had been so awful in some time. like i let everyone around me down. so no more of /those/ situations. i dont sleep correctly when my hair is wet, so you can imagine how my dreams were THAT night.

but yeah, i dont feel like wanting to kill myself again. because i know it’s not worth it. but something just keeps pulling me deeper into these disgusting pits of awfulness. like there’s no other way out. (wrong) and gritting my teeth and willing myself to do things is going to hurt, but it’s quite literally the only choice i have. i cant give up. so there’s that. my thoughts and everything. yeah.....it’s 5:10 in the morning, im going the fuck to sleep.

[swatato]

fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

[pokefanbri]

For you.

Nomatter our storms, I glowed bright while with you, so much that I'd do anything for you, even take a bullet. I know you glowed around me too. My heart felt vibrations it never knew it had. But now I dont just glow, I burn brighter than a thousand suns & for myself. But dont forget the light I shined into your life. When you needed me most, I was always there. To not be that for me, well..the way things were left should've shown me you were never willing to have my back in return like I always suspected. Something broke in you, early on it was though you were lost, not the same, different than the spontaneous romantic man that I used to know & boredom of me set in quick. My light dwindled thereon but I still shined it on you anyway. Depression can affect so much i know, dont let it, but if it does take a stand & do something differently to help the situation at hand

Sweetheart you broke my spirt, I trusted you not to hurt & let me down. I was unacceptable to you, but i accepted you. No girl deserves that treatment to their heart. You may guard yours til you find what your looking for, but 1st find what you're missing, know how you affect, actually care about a girls feelings & yes even more than your own if u wanna make her happy. Love is when you go out of your way to make someone happy..its feeling happy with someone by your side..but u lost that.. your light.

Thats all i did & making sure you were was a full time job...u lost interest anyway, but you didnt care about mine as much...my happiness was everything to do with you babe...you're all i had up there. What would happen if i did go to work then, would u go behind my back with some1 else or wait for me to come home with backrubs at the ready? actually fucked my life up because i trusted you when I shouldn't have, & didnt have to result to that all either 😔 Dont hurt a girls heart for the sake of protecting yours, from ever being shown. You expect someone to do anything for u out of love, expect them to listen of your promises of love but then cannot deliver the same.

Why do you hate me my love, what did i ever do to deserve an unjust chance with you at all. Why did you try to be with me if you weren't expecting love to happen. Ive never met someone so heartless toward someone else's. Love knows no bounds, apparently you do.

This is extremely important. Sweetheart the more you hold back, the more it makes it so much harder to find...Believe that. Your heart needs vulnerability so you can feel it. God if u felt the way do..in any relationship really, your heart might beat for the 1st time. Its a bizarre & great feeling cuz u just know, its the heartbreak that follows which hurts so much.

You treated me like i was a bad influence after things were said & done, made me out to be the bad guy, but I wasn't at all. I was damn good to you babe 😔 I deserve to be treated fairly. But the more i was ignored, the more my health was low. You affect me in a good way, but also in a way that was destroying me. 90% of my sobbing was over you not being there for me.

My point is, dont ever let someone down again, do not betray them, do not treat them like you do a random on xbox, sympathize & relate, be more accepting of others. Be better for their sake & your own. Open your heart..even if you guard it to not be hurt..thats just part of the experience.

It killed you to be alone before, you're right back where you started...and now I'm in the same boat. As much as i should hate you I can't, cause nomatter how much you hurt me or hurt eachother...the limitless forgiveness I get from God, our experiences & kindness together and just the shitty timing of 2020 prevents my heart from pushing you out completely.

If I could have the "if we were still alone with no kids & tired of the bs at age 35-40ish" pact with any best friend, id reserve it for you babe hands down. You are best guy friend afterall, whether you consider me one idk. And if u ever want dating advice & whatever help u need regarding a relationship, im here to give any encouraging advice ❤

Few last words. I found the broadcast of her memorial & sat with undivided attention, was like I was at church again 😊 loved the welcoming warmth. Saw you speak, heard what you said, you spoke well but were so sad i wanted to hold you & take your pain away 😥 I broke down as I sit there thinking of your grandma & how I would've loved to meet her. I was praying..speaking to her as if she were listening & ofcourse about u, praying for u & asking for her God & all my passed loved ones to lay their hands on me & pray with me. A breezy chill ran up my spine & I calmly paused...but then i continued to cry even harder & fell to my knees, i know I was heard. Hope u dont dismiss my heart to heart writing if u find them. I give great advice..somewhere in all the nonsense 🤔 jk. That scar on my left leg from your basement steps 😂 you left your mark on me in that way as well, you'll always be a part of me. Ive continued my progress from up there, I began to change the things u didnt like but kept going after things ended. I've quit smoking & feel/look better than I have in ages..whilst still keepin u in mind, I have you to thank 100%. U know how much of a dick you are lol knock it off. U best not turn into a bitter old man rather than sweet as sugar. Accept her, eachother at your worst, & she'll be the best...& you'll be the best for her too. Hope you grow & get to experience true mutual love 1 day. Nobody will take care of your needs if u simply don't for them.

You were an awesome & beautiful waste of my time. Let 2021 be hopefully different & less shitty for us both. Protect yourself & stay safe out there. Pray to God everyday & ask for healing. You're definitely a Trip to remember, see u around someday friend

I have nothing else to say.

❤👋

https://open.spotify.com/track/1uviKYHZuM4uINK33F7sCt?si=XMEoUDe3RKOYk4z4HuYO9Q

[all-ringils-blazing]

In a few hours this year is coming to an end and, as every damn New Year’s Eve, I’m gonna have my ted talk about the year and how shitty meh it was.

To be sincere, it was a good year in general. I enjoyed many things. But still I can’t call it a generous one, no matter what. Cause 2019 took my dog away. I don’t know what others may think because “it was just a dog” but I haven’t experienced anything worse in my life. I grew up with him, he has been there since I remember. For a long time, until now, I feel like it is a joke, a nightmare or something. I could never imagine my life without my Leo, I wanted to believe somehow that he will never die like other animals do and now it is. To be honest, I hadn’t prepared myself for that, even though his vet was trying to by saying “he is old” every time we visited. The thing is that I still love him, he will always be a part of my life and I think about him every day. He is my baby boy and someone I loved more than myself. And, seriously, if someone could bring my Leo back with 10 years of my life in return, I would give them without a second thought. I miss you my little, white angel ❤

On the other more optimistic hand, this years was fine. I went to Ireland, which has been my dream destination for a very long time and even though I couldnt spend much more money and time on that trip, I took an Irish taste and Im so gonna visit again and again and again in future. So let’s say a dream came true this year. I also had the chance to see bands I always craved to. Manowar, Slayer, both on their last tours ever, Candlemass, who I lost some years ago, POWERWOLF dude....POWERWOLF !!! On their very first appearance in Greece. I recall the day when my brother entered my room, while I was still under my blankets, in a very bad mood, and he was like “GUESS WHAT?” and I could only answer with a soulless mumble and he screamed “POWERWOLF ARE COMING IN ATHENS !!!!”  and we both shout and jumped up and down like some hysterical groupies. So let’s say a second dream came true? I too had a pleasant summertime with my friends as we visited a pal who lives in a heavenly island and then I sailed to my mom’s home island which I love more than myself and I met my relatives after a whole year. I had a lot of success at University and I officially signed for my degree thesis which I soon gonna finish, a huge burden leaving my shoulders really. And the most important of all, we have Freya, our new puppy ♥ After Leo’s death, our house seemed so empty and lifeless. When you have been used to hearing some tiny paws coming on your way, it feels very difficult to get back to that nothingness. So my brother and I decided to search for a dog from a dog shelter. Female was the main choice cause we didnt want anything reminding us of Leo. He was our one and only baby boy. And now we have our little princess who turned 1 year old some days ago ! Oh....also....THE WITCHER BITCHES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔫🔫🔫

And now gonna put some hate on myself because I have been a terrible person. Mostly because of my ruined mood and psychology, I was rude and treated people who care about me very bad. I was cruel and unfair to them. And not only to them but to me too. I lock myself in my bedroom and talk to nobody, share nothing. Tho, that’s something I will never change I guess. Oh yeah and I have put weight. 5 kilos specifically. Cause I always believed that huge portions of food and sweets will solve my problems.

Not gonna say anything more. I just hope that 2020 will be a year to only brag about the things I achieved. Because I still feel like that this year was a waste, I did nothing to make my life better, I only had some moments of fun, that’s not gonna change anything. I just stop making plans cause every year I do the same and I end up like this 🙏

I wanna wish you all a happy 2020. I hope your life will be full of joy this year. May you be blessed with everything you desire in life and all these 2019 didn’t bring you. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR PALS !!! LOVE YOU ALL !!! 💕

[to-write-ornah]

Not So Happy Birthday part 2

A/n: hey guys, happy new year! So, this part has been rewritten wayyyyy to many times but it's finally done!! I'm actually rly excited, and this will probably be a series until it's done-done. ALSO! This is part two, technically, but I'm making the next part 2.5 because Tumblr has this great thing called '100 paragraph limit' (I will be salty about this till the day I die) so hopefully I'll get that up today or tomorrow. Also, next part is gonna sum up what the deal is with her parents and her brother (I've put off saying her brothers name for the weirdest reason so don't judge but it'll be in the next part okay) I also apologize bc (to me at least) my writing seems a bit off. Oh well. alright I'm done rambling ENJOY

Warnings: minor character death, blood and bruising, maybe fluff if you squint

________________

You'd been riding with Sweet Pea for over two hours now. The train tracks had been on your left up until about twenty minutes ago, when they split away from the road making way for the forest. You passed a red painted post on the side of the road several miles back, officially marking the end of Ghoulie territory. The road you were on was public, but nobody in their right mind would take it unless it was necessary. The only reason you were on it now was because this was the road your dad had been on with your little brother two days ago. He'd been so excited to go on a supply run with your dad, you hadn't been able to tell him no. And now they had both disappeared. Dropped off the radar the day befor. You tried to keep your thoughts calm as you and Sweet Pea simultaneously slowed down to round a sharp curve in the road. You grimaced as your jean clad knee grazed the pavement before your bike righted. Ahead of you, Sweet Pea glanced back to make sure you were okay before suddenly slowing and turning his bike sharply. You slowed almost to a stop.

'See something,' he signed, prompting you to turn your bike around as well. You followed him to just before the curve where a patch of bushes had been run flat and tire marks scorched a small portion of the road. You hadn't seen it at all coming from the other direction, and it would have been easy to miss entirely. You stopped your bike beside Sweet Pea's, dismounting and removing your helmet as he did the same. You started down into the foliage, flipping your hearing aids on in time to catch the last bit of Pea's sentence.

"..should really wait and call someone." He was saying. You rolled your eyes.

"It took us over two hours to get here, Pea. By the time the others get here it might be too late or there's nothing here, and we would've wasted everyone's time. We're gonna at least go check it out." You heard him sigh heavily behind you before following you off the road and into the shrubs. The undergrowth was flattened out, almost like a path, about twenty feet ahead. At the end, it split in two directions. The path to the left was narrower and more overgrown, and the right path was wide, flat, and seemed to go farther. Sweet Pea spoke first.

"I got right, you go left. If you don't find anything, meet back here in ten. Got it?" You made a small noise of agreement as you headed down your desegnated path.

'Of course Sweet Pea took the easy path,' you thought in slight annoyance.

Ten minutes of weaving around trees and almost falling over multiple times brought you back to the fork in the bushes as you waited for Sweet Pea. Not even a minute later he came up the path, his face set in a hard scowl.

"Hey, what happened, what did you fi-"

"Lets go," he cut you off, grabbing your arm and pulling you back toward the road.

"Sweet Pea! Stop! What did you find? Let go of me!" You struggled against his grip, but couldn't get out of it. He was a lot stronger than you, and he was dead set on getting you to the road. You twisted suddenly and managed to slip your arm through his hold. You turned and darted back down the path.

"Y/n!" You heard Sweet Pea chasing after you, encouraging you to run faster. The path suddenly dropped off to a shallow cliff with a ravine at the bottom.

You froze as you took in the scene below you. On the floor below you was your dads jacket, three bloody holes through the back. And that was your dad.

Sweet Pea caught up to you just as you hit your knees. He knelt down beside you and pulled you against him. You gripped his jacket as sobs racked your body. You were never close to your dad, but you'd just seen his body, literally dead in a ditch. You were in shock.

"Hey, sweetheart, this is why I didn't want you to see this." Pea soothed. "And I'm sorry you did. We should call the others, get back home." You shook your head, wiping the tears from your face and standing up.

"No. We need to find him." Sweet Pea gave you a sad look, which you ignored. "His body isn't here, he might be hiding, or maybe he tried walking back, or-"

"Y/n," Pea tried, but you ignored him. You had already started down the shallow cliff, and he knew you weren't gonna drop this. If your brother wasn't alive, then like hell you were gonna stop looking.

"I'm gonna call Toni and Fangs, okay? Hopefully they're gonna bring some people to come get your dad." You gave an absent 'okay' as you started searching for your brother, keeping well away from your dads body.

Once Sweet Pea was done calling your friends he joined you, albeit halfheartedly. He knew you were desperate to find him, but he also knew that you weren't going to. Whoever had killed your dad had either killed your brother too, or taken him. But he knew he wouldn't be able to get you to stop, so he joined you. Fangs and Toni were stuck in some meeting set up by the mayor in an attempt to fix the relationship between the Southside and the Northside, so they wouldn't be able to get there for a while. So for the next four hours, you and Sweet Pea looked for your brother. You had probably covered almost a miles worth of forest around your dads body, even hitting the train tracks at one point.

It was starting to get dark by the time reality hit you. Your brother was gone. Your dad was dead. You couldn't protect anyone anymore. You stared blankly at the tree in front of you before tears started rolling down your cheeks. Emotions bubbled up inside you. Anger, frustration, sadness, rage. You let out a scream as your fists hit the rough bark of the tree. You hit it over and over again. Scream, hit, breath, scream, hit, breath. You felt warm blood run down your fingers, felt the bones in your hands shift uncomfortably, but you didnt feel any real pain, so you continued. A pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around you, pulling you away from the now bloody tree, and holding you as you thrashed against him.

"Let me go!" You demanded, voice slightly warped by tears. "Sweet Pea I swear, let me go right now!"

"Shhh, it's okay. It's gonna be okay," Sweet Pea held you as you slowly lowered your arms, and he felt your body relax. Your angry breathing was replaced by soft crying.

"It's my fault, Pea. I let him go. It's my fault." He shook his head.

"No, it's not. Come on, let's go get you cleaned up. The others should be here soon."

He held onto you the entire way up to your bikes. Making you sit on yours, he rummaged through your saddlebag until he found a water bottle and some bandannas.

"Can I use these?" He held up the old cloth and you nodded. He gently grabbed your right hand and you hissed. You hadn't realized how badly you'd hurt yourself until now. He tried to be careful as he rinsed off your injuries and wrapped the makeshift bandages around your hands. He finished just as a group of motorcycles and a few cars came around the bend in the road, stopping near you. Sweet Pea went to talk to them, leaving you to sit on your bike.

You felt numb. Your little brother was gone, your dad was dead. That officially made you an orphan. You grimaced at the thought. You were almost seventeen, so at least you'd be able to take care of your brother. If you ever found him. You were snapped out of your train of negative thoughts by Sweet Pea gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Wanna go home?" You nodded quickly, reaching for your helmet but stopping as you realized you couldn't pick it up, much less put it on. Sweet Pea offered you a soft smile, picking up your helmet and securing it to your head. He nodded toward his bike, and you understood. Following him over to it, you sat down behind him and gingerly placed your hands around his torso as he started the bike. A few minutes later and you were headed back to the Southside of Riverdale.

______________

The ride home was quite. Sweet Pea stopped at the first gas station he found to fuel up and grab some food. He persuaded you to eat a small granola bar and drink some water, then got back on the road. It was dark by the time you got back to the trailer park. The first thing Sweet Pea did was get the emergency kit from under the sink and clean out your hands. With the light from the trailer, you could actually see how bad it was. The skin along your knuckles was split open, and the surrounding skin was mottled with blood. Once Sweet Pea had washed the blood away, you could see dark bruises beginning to form around the cuts. He held your wrists as he poured hydrogen peroxide over your hands, which made you hiss and try to pull away.

"Almost done." He murmured quietly. It only took him a few more minutes to wrap up your hands and help you get out of your dirty clothes. Once you were washed up and ready, Sweet Pea helped you to bed. He adjusted the heat in your trailer before he pulled the covers up around your shoulders. He started toward the door, but you called out to him.

"Sweets?"

"Yeah babydoll?" He turned back.

"I don't wanna be alone."

He smiled softly and you couldn't quite understand his expression. He gently shut the door to your room and walked toward the bed. He sat on the edge of it and took off his boots before standing and removing his jacket. He stripped down to his tee shirt and boxers, then crawled into bed next to you. Weapping his arm around your waist, he gently pulled you into him. You let out a small sigh as you began to drift off. Your last conscious thought was how good Sweet Pea smelled. You must have said that out loud, because you fell asleep to the sound of him chuckling.

____________

Sweet Pea helped you get ready the next morning. Shower, brushing your hair, getting dressed. You felt completely overwhelmed not knowing what to do or how to find your brother, and you voiced your concerns to Sweet Pea during breakfast.

"Well, what can you do?" He asked, pouring milk into your bowl of cereal.

"Tell Jughead I'm a Serpent," you responded immediately. "I feel so bad that I haven't told him. He's my best friend, and he still has no idea. If I can't help find my brother, telling Jug about that is something I can do."

Sweet Pea nodded, finishing his cereal and taking his bowl to the sink.

"I'll take you if you wanna go see him. But we've also gotta go by the Wyrm later. They wanna know if you've got any idea who killed your dad." You laughed humorlessly.

"Of course I do. You do too; everyone does. The question is, are they gonna do something about it." Sweet Pea nodded, drying his dishes then coming back for yours.

"Whenever you're ready to go."

______

You texted Jughead, and he said he could meet at Pops at noon. At eleven forty five, Sweets drove you across the tracks to the diner.

You dismounted the bike, turning to Sweet Pea for help with your helmet. He unfastened it and secured it to his bike before laughing at your messed up hair.

"Just fix it please," you rolled your eyes but your tone betrayed your humor. He ran his hands through your hair, smoothing it out.

"Good luck." He said seriously. "I'm gonna be at the Wyrm. Just call me when you're done and I'll come get you, okay?" You nodded.

"Okay."

He leaned up and pressed a kiss to your cheek, making you blush slightly. He grinned.

"See you later, babydoll."

You shook your head as he started his bike and drove off. Turning toward the front door of Pops, you took a deep breath. You gently shoved your hands into the pockets of your oversized jacket and stepped inside.

____

Tag List:

@chipster-21 @wishingforahome

[tumblunni]

Brainstorming about my yokai watch ocs: Dimmy and Gorgeous Ambassador, the most cutest family

* My Dimmy's name is Blythe and they are nonbinary. Gorgeous Ambassador is male and i dont have a name for him yet. I was thinking maybe try and make up a dub name for kageusuo (anime exclusive pre evolution) that sounds like it could have been his nickname as a human? Cos his story is that he used to be a wandering mercenary in ye olde ninja times, i feel like itd be fitting.

* Blythe is the main partner of my protagonist in my yokai watch lp, basically the jibanyan of the anime of my heart. Their personality is mostly similar to the Dimmy in the anime, but i feel like theyre maybe older and more powerful than the average Dimmy? Like a weak low evolution yokai thats stayed unevolved for centuries and is actually more skilled and world weary than you'd assume. Protag just got lucky that she bumped into this one super magikarp, lol! Also i like to draw them looking more teenage age by just taking the regular Dimmy design and making the tail extra super long. They stand roughly twice as tall as the protagonist and can wrap around her shoulders like a scarf :3 Blythe is however totally unaware of their super powerful mega skill and is very self depreciating and low confidence. But Mallory totally sees them as a cool older sibling mentor figure and is always trying to figure out ways to make their tol squiggle friend feel included and valued :3

* the way Gorgeous Ambassador comes into the picture is that he was actually the same sort of figure to Blythe! Back in the ninja era Blythe was partners with another human, but he passed away in tragic circumstances and it led to their current depressed self. However he actually reincarnated as a yokai and has been trying to find his lil sibling ever since! I feel like he was a failure samurai who tried to protect people but was so weak he never could. And he was always broke and starving and begging to do any sort of miscellaneous jobs for anyone or even let them punch him in the stomach for a few coins. And he had just as much self confidence issues as Blythe but he coped with it by becoming a compulsive liar instead, always boasting and trying to sell himself as some legendary hero to keep from facing the truth. Since Blythe was a cute lil babby yokai at the time, they always believed their human master's tall tales and looked up to him, which made him feel really guilty and try harder to work on becoming someone this kid could be genuinely proud of.

* Blythe was first born as a household spirit. Cos i was thinking about what Dimmy would be before it became a ninja, since the medallium description says it 'got a job as a ninja to put its powers to use', so like it isnt really a ninja yokai but just a yokai thats a ninja? I guess?? I figured that the idea of being an invisible shadow supporter fit with household spirits/domovoi/zakishi warishi (probably mispelled that) and the various other similar creatures in mythologies all over the world. Just the idea that theres some sort of being that protects your house and if you give it offerings and take good care of the place it will protect you and your family. So yeah its my headcanon that thats how Dimmys are born, and that theres probably many variants wearing different outfits inspired by whatever type of humans they guarded. Tho yeh ninja is a job that works really well with their abilities so it makes sense itd be the primary representative of the species in the games.

* Human-dude-who-would-become-gorgeous-ambassador first met Blythe when one of his various failed attempts to get a job happened to cross paths with the family Blythe was guarding. This family didnt believe in such old suspicions and never gave offerings to their household spirit, so it stayed small and weak and was almost fading away. Baby blythe didnt know why their humans didnt love them, even though they tried so hard to bring good luck and clean the fireplace and stuff. So they felt a sense of kinship with this poor failure samurai who was begging for food on their doorstep. The humans of the household spat in his face and turned him away empty handed, but the tiny yokai snuck some rice from the pantry and gave it to him. They were surprised that he was able to see them, and he gave them the first thank you they'd ever had!

* Addendum note: i feel like gorgeous samurai was cursed with being able to see yokai from a young age and its part of whay made him so determined to become strong enough to protect people. Perhaps his biological family was killed by an evil yokai and nobody ever believed what he saw? And he wandered japan trying to save other people and always failing and being blamed for what happened, since nobody could see the real culprit. This reputation of being a liar when he wasnt = he ended up actually lying about how he was totally fine and not sad and also great and not hating himself. Its not really something he can control anymore, its like a stress response and it keeps getting him in trouble but he cant stop. "Yes sure i can save the day, i'm awesome!" only makes things worse when he inevitably loses again, whic only makes his self confidence worse and traps him further in the lies...

* so anyway, he became friends with this lil babby yokai and kept coming back to visit them and tell more tall tales of his grand adventures. And eventually he managed to help Blythe come out of their shell a little and agree to leave this house where they were only fading away. Haunting him instead, the lil shadow soon flourished back to full health from being loved for the first time. And their new big bro would always give them the biggest share of all the food even when he was starving, and always wasted his money buying things for them, and knitted them lil scarfs and just HE WAS A GOODEST BIG BRO! They also made a great team, and he was finally able to fight evil yokai with a yokai of his own helping him out. Things were good for a few years!

* Eventually though, they faced a foe too strong for them to defeat. (Not sure yet who it is, cos it could be cool if they faced it again in the present day for a rematch?) Blythe's human friend ran into a burning building to save the people being attacked by this yokai, but because he was already gravely injured he didnt manage to make it out in time. And blythe was just a tiny bab who wasnt strong enough to carry his unconcious body to safety. So their last memories of him are of crying and begging him to wake up as the house fell apart all around them, and eventually the flames swallowed him up. the tiny yokai just ran and ran away from their shame, and never saw an ashy figure rising from the ruins and calling their name...

* eventually after years of struggling alone and lacking meaning in life, Blythe had a chance meeting with our protagonist and thus begins my yokai watch 1 lets play! At the same time their yokaified big bro is still out there searching for them, and maybe one day theyll meet again...

* also i wanna go with the pre-evo the anime added of Gorgeous Ambassador evolving from a sad depressed vampire lookin dude. Even if the whole circumstances here are vastly different! But we dont really have any info on what kageusuo's powers or stats would be, so i guess i'm free to mess around with that? I like the idea of it being vampiric just cos i feel it looks like that. But instead of drinking blood maybe its a hunger for shadows? Which is actually beneficial to humans and makes them less overshadowed aka the opposite of Dimmy's power. So if you ever feel that you're radiating charisma with perhaps a slightly lighter shadow, maybe youve been inspirited by this guy! And then the evolution into Gorgeous Ambassador doesnt actually change anything at all, except just looking more fashionable and confident (which is absolutely a lie). His power already made people more fabulous while being unable to affect himself, he just worked a bit harder on himself to try and catch up with everyone else. Self care vampire!

* oh and in this interpretation the way that kageusuo would be integrated into the gameplay is that Gorgeous Ambassador would get a new ability that lets him switch forms in battle, rather than it being a separate yokai. (Tho would still have a separate entry in the medallium just for conveinience of being able to view both character models whenever you want) Stuff that causes low confidence would make him poof between forms, and itd just be something like more attack based vs defense based, or maybe having two separate personality stats so its like his AI is slightly more versatile than the usual frustratingness of most yokai? Srsly im still so annoyed at so many yokai that have two mutually exclusive moves and the ai is stupid about using them at the wrong time to cancel each other out. Like how Dimmy can be given the AI personality to focus on attacking and thus take advantage of its auto-skill to be good at dodging aka a glass cannon. BUT also one of its skills gives that same status to an ally instead, which by definition takes it away from itself cos 'dont target this other guy' means there arent many other options. So you cpuld alternatively play dimmy as a supporter who exclusively protects others with that ability BUT the annoying part is that even when you set an AI profile to one particular move it still only makes it LIKELY to do that and not guaranteed. So every now and again your attacking dimmy will cancel its own buff to protect an enemy, or your supporting dimmy will forget to support abd instead buff itself despite not having the attack stat build to take advantage of it. Plus you cant have both and switch between modes mid battle, so thatd be REALLY useful if one yokai actually could do that, and also could change stats to fit! Im not sure how to give it a trigger condition thatd let you sorta change at will but also not be 100% easy and overpowered. I was thinking tying it to his confidence could mean missed attacks turn him into kageusuo and critical hits turn into gorgeous? But thatd be TOO uncontrollable...

* oh actually i think maybe i'll nickname him Amber! Just cos my brain just mispronounced gorgeous ambassador and It Kinda Works??? Also its a kind of name that sounds very pretty but also has connotations of gentle shyness, i think. Matches the duality of his fake boastfulness vs his true self doubt.

* Oh and i also thought of maybe having Blythe evolve into Casanono, even though you cant do that in canon. I feel like turning into a pretty humanoid would be a good way to symbolize their growing confidence ans casanono/casanuva has a big nonbinary aesthetic in my opinion. Plus of course the fact casanono is a variabt of a confident yokai thats actyally shy. Originally older brother dude was gonna be a casanuva to match, until i heard about Gorgerous Ambassador and decided it fits him better (especially with that new anime form!) So now im thinking maybe have Blythe be both casanono and casanuva at once, similar to their bro's form switching? But itd be more like casanuva is a rare super saiyan esque powerup when they experience rare moments of confidence. Im pretty much just doing this because SADLY casanono is a joke character who is literally mechanically forced to be useless in battle. Its ability makes it harder to catch yokai which ia already goddamn difficult, and it wastes a skill slot too. As opposed to Dimmy who has a similar personality of always being ignored and depressed but its abilities are actually beneficial. Itd suck to go from Blythe being my mvp to being unable to use them at all, so this would be a way to still always draw them as casanono in comics to match their actual personality, but using casanuva in battle cos.. Well.. Yeah its the functional one of the two. Level-5 if youre listening please make casanono useable in future games!! Casanuva is absolutely the worst one personality wise so it sucks that the game agrees with his ego that he's great and also punches his depressed counterpart into the bin of ignoreness DESPITE BEING SUPER SYMPATHETIC AND RELATEABLE AND ALSO CUTER COLOURSCHEME

Anyway thats all the thoughts i have so far. Except oh also itd be funny if throughout the whole story blythe keeps talking about their dead brother as if he was the super best most serious hero and then when the protagobists actually meet him he's this gaudy dork XD

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Qi Flows for Her

Chapter Three

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes  |  Word Count: 5296 Warnings: Swearing and angst

Celine sniffled softly as she unpacked her clothes. Crying never solved anything, just drained her more and gave her a headache.

She shouldn't be here. Charles should have sent someone else. It should have been Kitty or Storm. Hell, any of them would have been better than her. How was she ever to build relations between the two factions when the majority of her new teammates looked at her with suspicion?

And then her foolish pride had gotten the better of her. She never should have told the Black Widow her name. The agitation would only grow now. Steve and Bucky would look at her with distrust. Peter would fear her. No one would be comfortable in her presence.

Yet, here she stood, suitcase open, unpacking. Feared or not, she had a job to do. She could not go home until Charles allowed it. She was stuck here in her metal cage, and she was starving.

How ironic.

All those people, all that lifeforce, and she couldn't even touch it. The cramps had not been this intense in years. So much energy wasted. Had she been able to plant her shield and ground her force, the truck would have smashed into it and stopped. Instead, it had plowed straight into her, knocking loose the hold she'd had on her chi, allowing it to dissipate back into the universe instead of drawing it into her body. Add in the energy used to heal her broken ribs and shattered hip, it felt as if she hadn't fed in weeks.

Clamping a hand to her stomach, she bent nearly double in pain. If she wasn't able to leave to hunt, if all she could do was feed off the negative, she would have to be much more careful. Damaging her body would cause her chi to deteriorate so much faster.

They better learn to trust me quickly… Celine sighed, if they didn't, she could get very sick, very fast. Living on negative emotions was like eating a diet of fast food. It sustained her, but it sure wasn't good for her.

Already she missed the heightened state of the school. The sexual tension which ran rampant. Even the thought of it made her salivate. The school was like a smorg of delightful treats. She was always well fed off the rowdy state of the hormonal teenagers.

Here, it was too quiet. What close energy was available was tense, her doing she knew, volatile and fluctuating, but with so few bodies around, and all teammates, she couldn't even take a tentative sip. The hunger filled her with such despair, to the point she’d almost given in to the tears when a knock at the door thrust her back into the real world.

Celine swiped at her face and went to open it, revealing a rather angry looking Barnes. “Sergeant?”

“I already told you it's Bucky.” He frowned, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“Something you need?” Had they sent him to get rid of her?

A large, warm hand cupped her cheek. “Dollface, are you okay?”

Shocked, she jerked against his hand. “I'm fine,” Celine whispered, walking away before the tears fell for a whole new reason, but she left the door open.

“No, you ain’t,” he stated, taking the open door as the invitation to enter it was. “Don't let what Nat said get you down. She's overprotective.”

“It is Natasha for whom you should worry. You should all fear for your lives. Is that not the sensible thing to do when faced with the bogeyman?”

He snorted in derision. “Celine, I was the bogeyman for 60 years. You don't scare me.”

She slammed her hand down on the back of the sofa. “Why? Why don't I scare you? I scare everyone once they know, once they figure out I'm Styx. I know Natasha told you. She was itching to the moment I told her.”

“So why tell her?”

“She made me angry!” Celine cried. “It is like being the new kid at school all over again! Pecking order! Pecking order! Who fits where? Who is the most powerful? Who's dick is biggest!” She threw her hands up in anger and winced when her back spasmed. “I want no part of it!” Tears of both pain and anger burned her eyes, and she thrust her palms against them, forcing herself to calm down. “This is why I work alone.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she crossed her arms over her stomach and stared at the carpet. “Forgive me. I am not usually so… reactive.”

“You have every right to be.”

Steve's voice coming from the open doorway made her wince. Now both had been witness to her meltdown. “It does not justify purposely instigating something with Ms. Romanoff. I usually have better control than this.” Celine shook her head. “I should phone Charles. Make other arrangements.”

“No!” They said together.

She darted a glance up and would have taken a step back if not for the sofa behind her. They stood before her, very close, completely silent in their approach. It startled her. Not many could sneak up on her in such a way.

“You wanna get outta here, Celine?” Steve asked.

“I thought I was under house arrest?”

“Who's to say we can't go out with you? That constitutes supervision.” Bucky grinned smugly at Steve.

“Really?” she whispered, shocked by their kindness. Guilt mixed with a touch of pity flared in both their auras. Perhaps she'd sounded a little desperate.

“Ya, doll. We never did get to eat, and there's a great pizza place not far.” Steve nodded toward the door.

“I would love that!” Perhaps she could convince them to walk with her, maybe slip into a club where she could feed.

“Just out and back though. Early start tomorrow.”

Steve's words set her heart plummeting. Still, it was out, and she'd make it work. “Great! A small outing in the city is better than nothing when you're new,” she agreed.

Both looked at her lips then quickly away, and she toned down her allure. They just made it so easy. They were edible, and she didn't mean only their energy.

***

The pizza was, indeed delicious, and she’d relished every bite. Though it filled the void, it did nothing to abate her hunger. While laughing softly at what Steve and Bucky had to say, she paid close attention to the patrons in the restaurant.

It was quite busy, and they were quite famous, but nobody paid them any mind. Both men did an adequate job of hiding their identities. Steve had tossed on a ball cap and black-framed glasses, and a pulse had driven to life in her center for he looked nerd sexy all of a sudden. Celine didn’t really have a preference when it came to sex appeal, but she had to admit, Steve made nerdy look hot.

Bucky, too, had thrown on a ball cap, tucking his hair up beneath it. It left the sleek cut of his jaw on display. The nice long arch of his throat with the stubble of his well past five o’clock shadow had her wondering what it would be like to kiss him there. Lick him there. Bite down and nibble under his jaw where his pulse hammered and the chi flowed strongly.

She was so intent on the two soldiers who were regaling her with tales of the war and their time as Howling Commandos, she almost missed her opportunity. When the large man, thick with muscle, stood to his feet and headed for the bathroom, Celine stood up as well.

“Little girl’s room?” she asked casually.

“Oh, uh, back there.” Steve motioned, a touch flustered.

She patted his shoulder and sauntered away, continuing to think him utterly adorable in his moments of shyness. Once she made it to the hallway, she reached out with her senses to ascertain whether the men’s room was empty of all but the big man. Finding it clear, she snuck inside and turned the lock with a quiet click.

“Uh, lady? Wrong room,” said the man struggling to tuck and zip.

“I don’t think so,” Celine purred, unleashing her allure on him. Her skin gleamed, her eyes glowed, and her hair took on a distinct wave as she glided across the floor toward him. “You want me.”

His eyes had already grown dark with lust. “Yah, look at you.” His aura spiked with pinks and reds, blues and greens.

“Do you lust for me?” she crooned, sitting on the edge of the sink and hiking her dress up her thighs.

“Ya, fuck yeah.” He half walked, half stumbled toward her.

Celine drew him between her legs and fogged his mind further, holding him still as she slipped inside his vision. “Show me what you want,” she whispered and stroked her hand gently down his chest.

She watched the desire play out in his mind. One which consisted of him dropping his pants and fucking her hard and wild against the sink. Feeding it, she laced more lust, more moans, more heat into his vision. As he approached his peak, his body still and unmoving before her while his mind did all the work, Celine opened her eyes. His aura was the perfect colour as she urged his release closer.

“That’s it, that’s right, baby. You’re such a good fuck. So hot and hard. What a nice dick you have.”

He groaned, and his hips jerked in the real world as she began to feed. It was pleasurable for her partner. Even as their energy was siphoned away, when done so in lust with their mind active elsewhere, it felt euphoric. It was not so when she was working and fed on fear.

Still, his taste was everything she’d hoped for, and she sipped gently, taking only what she needed to abate her hunger and no more, knowing it would still leave him weak and a little lethargic.

She rested her hand against his cock, hard and throbbing in his jeans, and rubbed him gently through his pants. It wasn’t something she usually did, but he was so tasty he deserved a little something extra. “You going to come, baby?”

“Fuck…” he groaned.

Celine sipped slowly, squeezed him firmly, and felt him swell and erupt beneath her palm. She drank in his final explosion of energy which came with his release, revelling in the sweet ambrosia. “Oh, baby. You’re so good to me,” she moaned, feeling a hundred percent better.

While he panted and quaked against the counter, she slipped off the sink, tweaked his memory of her slightly, and walked to the door. “Thanks, baby. Don’t forget to clean yourself up,” she called as she checked for people in the hall. Finding no one, she turned the lock, peeked through and darted out to head back toward her table.

She smiled brightly as she slid in beside Bucky. “Dessert?”

Steve eyed her questioningly before leaning closer. “You look better. Have a little pick-me-up while you were back there?”

“A lady never tells,” she grinned, tapping the side of her nose.

“If you were hungry, Celine after what happened in the garage you could have told us.” Bucky’s eyes and voice were full of accusation. “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us the truth.”

Celine looked down at her hands. “I…” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I lost a great deal of strength when I was unable to ground against the pickup. I lost my connection to my chi.”

“You mean how it blew up like fireworks instead of how you pulled it back in during the demo?” Steve asked.

She arched a brow and gave a wry smile. “How observant of you.”

“It’s what I do.” Steve shrugged as he pulled out his wallet and tossed bills on the table.  “Let’s take a walk. I think you’ve got some explaining to do.”

As they stood to leave, she noticed the man she’d fed on saunter back out to his table. There was a goofy smirk on his face, and he flopped down beside his friends where he chugged most of a glass of water. Good. He’d be fine, likely boast about his prowess and the woman who’d jumped his bones in the bathroom.

She walked out quickly, not needing her two teammates to hear the sordid details of his apparent tryst. They were clearly highly intelligent and observant men. She’d need to be careful in the future.

“So,” Steve said, placing his hand on her back. “Explain this to us.”

Celine did her best to ignore the heat which washed over her with his touch. It stoked a flame to life, one fed by the hum of the sexual energy she’d absorbed. Wetness grew between her legs and dampened her underwear. She hadn’t even grown warm with the man in the bathroom, but Steve’s casual touch lit her on fire.

Then, Bucky’s fingers closed around her elbow.

The second point of contact nearly made her moan. Not good, not good. She’d never been so attracted to anyone as she was these two. These two soldiers, a step out of time, being the gentlemen they were raised to be, performing this intrinsic dance of touch and guide which wasn’t present in today’s society turned her on something fierce. If she didn’t get out from under their caress soon, she was going to do something highly inappropriate.

Gently removing her elbow from Bucky’s grasp, she stepped away from Steve and turned to face them. “You are both quite tactile.”

“Is that a problem, doll face?” Bucky asked.

They looked at her like hunting wolves. Like starving wolves, and she was a fat, juicy lamb. She wasn’t even trying, her appeal nearly non-existent, yet they looked like they could lick their lips at any moment.

Celine looked away. “Sometimes.”

“Hands to ourselves. Got it,” Steve said with a nod, motioning for her to continue down the sidewalk.

She flinched at the hurt in his aura. It hadn’t come through in his voice, but she could still feel it. With a sigh, she held out her hands, one to each. When they only raised a brow, appearing even more like brothers, she shook her hands impatiently. “Just give!”

Both large hands engulfed hers, and she jerked them into the alley.

“I will explain this only once and do not need an audience. Feeding heightens my senses. You two oversized soldiers radiate energy like the sun. Touching you afterward feels like this.” Channelling her chi into her hands, Celine gave them both a jolt. While it contained none of the desire she was suffering from and little of the sexual residue she’d fed on, it would feel like holding a live wire to someone unused to it.

“Fuck!” Bucky hissed, gloved hand landing on the wall beside him.

“Damn, Celine.” Steve’s hand tightened.

Celine yanked hers away and stepped swiftly backward. “At those times, it’s best you do not touch me.”

“Roger that,” they said together, looking a little shell-shocked.

She walked out of the alley with the two men to either side of her, close but no longer touching her. It was a relief and a disappointment. She liked the comfort of their touch. Physical touch was something sorely lacking in her repertoire.

Charles had always been casual about touching her hand or arm, but it wasn’t as if he was a hugger. Rogue couldn’t touch anyone without being completely covered, and Logan was so not touchy-feely.  The rest… preferred she didn’t try. But both Steve and Bucky had been very casual about the whole thing, touching her back or arm. Bucky had even touched her face.

“Celine?”

“Yeah, right.” She jerked her thoughts back to the present as they walked along the busy street and crossed at the light to walk through the streetlamp lit paths of Central Park where the pedestrians thinned out at this late hour. “I wasn’t able to ground my power earlier. Chi is life energy. It’s everywhere though I can only absorb it from other people. When my shield went up, I wasn’t fast enough to get it grounded, tied into the strength of the earth. The truck was a much bigger projectile than say a bullet. A flick of the wrist and I can stop a bullet with ease. Had I got my shield grounded, it would have been as solid as a wall. The truck would have stopped as if it had hit one. Instead, it was not quite complete, and it came through the shield and hit me.”

“You said you… lost your connection with your chi?”

She glanced at Bucky. “Yes. I redirect energy. So I pull it from within to use it out here,” she made a vague motion indicating the outer world, “then, draw it back inside. Because I was momentarily stunned I… let go… I guess would be the best explanation, of my energy. Like holding a tiger by the tail. You release it, it’s going to run away.”

“I see.”

Looking up at Steve, she smiled. He was nodding, a look of intrigue on his face.

“Once I came to, my body healed itself using my reserves. Had I managed to hold onto my chi, I would not have needed to feed, but…” She shrugged and trailed off.

“So you lied when you said you were fine in the garage.” Harsh eyes glared at her, and another accusation fell from Bucky’s lips.

Stopping, she looked between the two of them when they turned to glare at her. “Physically I was mostly fine.”

“What’s mostly mean?” Steve demanded.

“I had some bruises left.”

“And before you did your healing trick?” Bucky snarled softly.

Celine frowned. “That, Sergeant, is none of your business.”

“As Captain of this team it sure as shit is mine!” Steve barked.

“As the outcast of this team, I’m perfectly fine with keeping it to myself!” Celine shouted.

Both jerked like she’s slapped them. “Now wait one damn minute!”

“No, you wait!” she snapped, pointing at Bucky. “I have taken care of my own shit since I was five years old! I don’t need two overgrown nannies getting all up in my business. I got hurt, I healed, I fed. End of story.”

“We’re not trying to get up in anything,” Steve said. “We’re your teammates, we’d like to be your friends, but you’re sure not making this easy, doll.”

Stunned, Celine stepped back. “You… you don’t know me. You can’t… you can’t… I don’t have friends. Two substitute father figures and a sister, yes, but I don’t have friends. You can’t be my friends. I can’t have friends!”

Panic filled her, overwhelming and breath-stealing, and Celine ran into the dark night. Ran for the comfort of shadows and silence. Ran beneath the silver light of the moon she was named for. It’s beams coated her in cool light, seeming to try to appease the raging pain inside her.

Her nature changed with her brokenness, hair twisting into coils deepening into a black which rivalled the night sky. She ran until she reached the edge of a large lake, finally stopping at the water line. Barefoot, having lost her shoes in her mad flee, Celine walked into the water and let the cold soothe the fire in her blood.

Pain, anger, despair, all raged inside her. The past which haunted her became her present, forcing her to relive old, painful memories, and she lifted her hands, buried her fingers in her hair and wailed. Just screamed to the sky. The inhuman sound filled the air and rang through the silence. It was as beautiful and haunting as she was.

It killed her, her inability to be anything but alluring.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “Why, Charles? Why me?” Falling to her knees, she plunged her hands into the water.

***

She was fast, they’d give her that, but she was also glowing like a candle between the trees.

He had no idea what he’d said to scare her, but Steve wasn’t about to let the woman go. In an instant, she’d gone from angry to perplexed to terrified. It killed him to know it was his words which had sent her fleeing like a deer.

Knowing they were approaching the lake, they split a few feet apart, determined to stop Celine from escaping down the shoreline. They were so well versed in the others moves, he and Bucky slowed at the same time without bothering to check with the other, walking silently from the trees as a very different looking Celine walked into the water.

Stunned, Steve could only stare in amazement.

Vision had said Styx was the name of a goddess from Greek mythology. He could see how Celine had acquired her name.

The lush, straight hair which usually fell down her back had become thick, black curls. They seemed to shimmer with sparkles of light. The night sky and stars above were reflected in those locks. Her skin had grown milk pale, the same silver as the moonlight. When her hands lifted, he noticed her nails were long and dark, as black as her hair. It was a startling contrast to the unpainted ones he’d remembered seeing at dinner. But it was hearing her scream, the sound a howl of a wounded creature, so hauntingly beautiful, like a wolf baying to the moon, which ripped open his heart.

Glancing at Bucky, he was certain his face reflected the same look of anguish and determination. Steve was quick to stride forward, managing to catch her whispered words. They broke his heart all over again. When Buck had said she was broken, he hadn’t really believed it. How could a woman who was so damn beautiful be broken? But he should have known. One wounded soul could always recognize another and looks mean little to what was buried on the inside.

Her collapse into the water sent him lurching forward. “Celine, baby, no.”

She looked up, and he fell into her eyes. “Wow…” Fully gold, they were what he imagined a goddess’s eyes would look like.

“Don’t!” She jerked her face away. “Don’t look at me!” Her cheeks were wet with tears.

Steve ignored the way she curled in on herself and lifted her up, half dragging, half carrying her from the water. Once on the shore, he cupped her face. “Why wouldn’t I look at you? You’re beautiful, Celine.”

“I know!” she wailed, the sound heartbreaking a second time. She jerked away only to run smack into Bucky.

He grabbed her by the elbows. “Easy, doll… face… whoa,” he murmured, stroking her hair back behind her ear.

“Please, don’t…” she begged, voice full of despair. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt us?” Steve asked, stepping closer, caging her between the two of them.

“It’s in my nature…” she whispered. “I hurt you, or you hurt me. It’s my curse. Like my face.”

Placing his hands on her waist, Steve leaned into her back. A shudder wracked her spine, and a whimper left her throat. “You’re not going to hurt us, Celine, and we would never hurt you. Ain’t that right, Buck?”

Bucky shook his head and lifted her arms up to wrap around his neck. “Never,” he agreed, leaning forward to press her further into Steve, holding the broken woman between them. “You don’t scare us, darlin’. You’re not big enough,” he chuckled softly.

“I could kill you both in an instant, and there is nothing you could do to stop me,” she whispered.

“Would you?” Steve asked, sliding a hand around her waist to hold her tighter.

“No.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Bucky asked.

She looked up, and Steve watched the awe wash over his best friend’s face. “That is the problem,” she whispered. Then, her bright candle glow went out.

Steve startled and stepped back, shocked at his forwardness. Bucky, too, looked stunned when she pulled away.

Celine’s smile was sad, her posture small and full of guilt. She was back to the beauty she’d been from the first, but the goddess who’d fallen to her knees in the lake was gone. “Thank you, for wanting to be my friend, but I… I can’t. It’s best if we are, simply, teammates. Forgive me my outburst. I promise to be much more professional come morning.”

“What… what just…?” Bucky scrubbed a hand over his mouth.

She wouldn’t look at them and twisted her fingers together. “It’s my nature.”

Steve couldn’t read auras, but he didn’t need to, to see the pain wash over Celine. “Celine.” She finally lifted her head, and his heart shattered. He’d never seen such brokenness, such absolute desolation in someone’s eyes before.

“I’m tired, Cap. Lost and filthy. Can we just forget this happened?” Her amber eyes pleaded for understanding.  

He would give it… for now. “Sure, Celine.” He reached for her, watched her recoil, and felt pain pierce what was left of his heart. “You’re gonna wreck your feet, doll. You want me to forget this, then let me help you.”

She bit her lip, eyes downcast again, but gave a slow nod.

Not giving her a chance to change her mind, Steve slung her up in his arms. The stiffness of her body hurt him as much as the earlier rejection. A glance at Bucky showed he appeared just as devastated. “We’re gonna go in the back way.” He doubted she’d be impressed if anyone else saw her like this.

“Thank you,” she whispered, relaxing enough to rest her head on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, more pain ripping into his heart, and breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled like exotic spices. With a silent sigh, he nodded to Bucky and headed for the tower.

***

Celine sat on the floor of her shower and let the water run over her. She'd nearly done it again.

Friends…

She couldn't have friends. Friends turned on each other. Friends stabbed each other in the back. Friends eventually became enemies. In the end, enemies tried to kill you.

She hugged her knees and fought desperately against the memories trying to surface. Ones of laughter and camaraderie. Of happiness. Of first stolen kisses and fleeting touches. Of betrayal. Of accusations, anger, and pain. She couldn't let them surface. They were her past. This was her future. The two could not mingle. She couldn't, wouldn’t let history repeat itself. She'd caused too much pain the first time.

“Celine…”

The voice whispered in her mind. “Go away, Charles. You and I aren't currently speaking.”

“Went that well did it, darling?”

“You're a right git!”

“Celine, language,” he chastised gently.

“Why am I here, Charles? The truth! They don't want me, and I sure as shit don't belong.”

“You have spent too much time with Logan.”

“Charles, no games.”  She was too tired for games.

A soft sigh fluttered in her brain. “There are things you must learn. The Avengers can teach them to you.”

“What things!?”

“If I told you that, how would you ever learn them for yourself?”

“That's a game, Professor!” she snapped.

“You cannot tell me they all don't want you?”

She cringed. “Yes, all. After tonight… all.” Steve and Bucky hadn't said a word, just deposited her before her door and walked away.

“Celine? Show me!” he demanded.

“Why should I?” She sounded like the petulant, pouting teenager she’d once been and knew it.

“Celine Ena!”

“Fine! You're so damn pushy!” She gave a heavy sigh and showed him her shame. His silence had her cringing.

“Ghealach beag,” he said quietly.

Love and comfort filled her mind. “Charles…” She sobbed into her hands. He hadn't called her little moon in years.

“You are too hard on yourself, Celine. The mistakes of your past are not ones you will make now. You know better. You're stronger.”

“I almost…” She shook her head, voice choked.

“No, you did not. You simply became Styx before them.”

“And they fell! I don't want to hurt them. Charles!” The cry was all despair and desperation.

“Give the Captain and the Sergeant more credit, Celine. They are not boys.”

“I won't take the chance! If I turned them against each other…”

“Celine,” he sighed.

Celine scrubbed at her face. “No. No, I'll do the job, Charles. I'll work with them, be part of the team, but I won't be more than that. I can't!” she cried, getting to her feet and turning off the water.

“Enfant obstiné,” he muttered.

“First the Gaelic and now French? You really are miffed at me.” And she wasn't a stubborn child.

“Yes, you are. Do not block them out, Celine.” His presence faded with the final warning.

“What do you know?” she huffed, both in indignation and frustration. He wasn't telling her something, clearly, but until Charles chose to speak, she would know nothing.

“Learn from the Avengers…” She almost snorted before catching sight of herself in the mirror. Her colour was off. “Fuck!” she hissed vehemently, reached for her reserves and sighed when she touched them.

She wasn't hungry yet, but she wasn't as replete as she had been after her snack at the pizza place. Another waste of energy, all that grief at the lake. This was why she preferred to be alone. Other people disconcerted her too much. Other people required effort and feelings.

She was out of her element. Floundering. If she didn't get it together and soon, this was all going to go up in flames around her.

Wrapping her hair in a towel, she went to get ready for bed, determined to block all the Avengers from her mind. Once she disconnected from them, she would be able to breathe.

***

Bucky sat brooding on the couch in Steve's room nursing a glass of whiskey which would do very little to him. It was a habit more than anything, but the fiery burn down his throat was a reminder of his past life. Drinking was not something HYDRA had allowed him, so he did it now as a symbolic fuck you.

Steve was sitting across from him, nursing his own glass, and brooding just as deeply.

“What the fuck just happened?” Bucky finally asked, unable to remain silent any longer.

“I don't know.” Steve sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “I scared her bad, Buck.”

“Don't think it was you, Steve, so much as something you touched on by accident.” He downed the rest of his glass, hissing at the burn in his throat. “She doesn't have friends. Maybe she did once. Maybe it went bad. Real bad if that's her reaction.”

“She didn't want us to look at her, either. For all Nat's talk about Styx, what I saw tonight was a woman who feared what she was.” Steve downed his own glass. “Maybe even hated it. When she was mad earlier, she'd said, I am a person, no matter how much my mutation has taken from me.”

Bucky grunted. “What the fuck happened in her past? Who the hell hurt her so badly?”

“I don't know, Buck. I don't know.”

“Taking care of my own shit since I was five years old.” He rested his elbows on his knees and bent over them. “Five, Jesus!” He couldn't even imagine what kind of life she'd had.

“It's my curse, like my face. What the hell is she that she’s so damn scared of herself? What is it she thinks she'll do?” Steve wondered.

As if on cue his phone rang. He frowned at the secure line but picked it up. “Rogers.”

“Captain.”

“Professor.” His eyes snapped to Bucky's as both of them sat up straight.

“I was hoping to speak with you for a moment about Celine.”

Wary, Steve said, “Alright.”

“I do hope she hasn't caused a commotion. She can be a bit… high strung.”

Steve felt himself bristle at the insinuation. “She's been nothing but professional,” he snapped.

“Excellent.” A sound of amusement filled Charles’ voice. “Her power is quite impressive. It tends to scare people.”

“Celine doesn't scare us.” Again he found the professor's words upsetting. Was this the kind of put down negative thinking she was subject to? Coming from someone, she'd labelled her surrogate father?

“Are you certain, Captain? I could always call her home. Replace her with another X-Men more … suitable?”

“Celine suits us fine. We want her as part of the Avengers. End of story.”

A chuckle was heard on the other end of the line. “Very well, Captain. Good night.”

He hung up, and Steve had the overwhelming desire to chuck his phone at the wall. But then, Maria would give him shit for breaking another one. “Fuck!” he swore instead, earning a raised brow from Bucky.

“This is some screwed up. I don't give a flyin’ fart what she said. I'm going to find a way through, Stevie. She needs friends.”

“She needs a real family.” Steve agreed. “We've got to stop looking at her like she's the enemy.”

“Starting tomorrow, we chip away at that wall of hers,” Bucky stated, getting to his feet.

“Yeah. I'm with you, pal.”

“Till the end of the line, punk,” Bucky said, heading for his own rooms.

Next Chapter

[bluebuckstallion]

kinda ramble-y fic below the cut, includes a metric fuck-ton of angst, macdennis, teen au, drinking, and a Lot of implied abuse/trauma

summary: macs a rebellious 14 year old tht hates the rich, dennis is a dick that really just needs an outlet to share his feelings, theyre sad together

ok no offense but i just...really love the concept of like, teen mac & charlie crashing house parties. them sneaking out of the house together and their late night adventures quickly becoming a blur of adrenaline and laughter as they jus show up at random parties someone down the street is throwing. they show up undetected at the peak of the utter chaos that is teen rebellion, take a shitload of booze, and then ditch just as fast. they go by the train tracks after and get wasted together, drowning out the deafening reality that is their parents dont care enough to notice theyre not at home every night & that life isnt going so well. and for once they can be happy in each others company and have a taste of a childhood they deserved, even if they can only find it at the bottom of a bottle

one night mac goes off by himself, probably because charlie just hasnt been as up to going out. mac has no clue why, the only things charlie’s been sputtering about between drinks every night is his ‘son of a bitch of an uncle’ who moved back in recently. mac doesnt understand and charlie wont give him what he needs to understand it. so mac gives it no second thought. he spots this absolutely huge house in the suburbs. hes never seen something with architecture like this and hell sure as hell never understand how someone can afford so much room, or what its even used for. the yard is donned with blacked out kids he knows from his classes, and the inside of the house is filled with the melody of drunk kids slurring and laughing to party songs.

he decides this is it-this is the one place hell allow himself to go without his best friend. and hell definitely save booze for him. and he wont allow himself to feel guilty for it, he never does anything for himself anyways. he strides in with a nonchalant facade and his best ‘yes-i-definitely-belong-here’ smile from cheek to cheek, waving at classmates that never noticed him before and definitely wont now. which is the only advantage that comes from being the rat, one of the sore losers in the bullshit hierarchy that is high school popularity. nobody will notice when youre taking something right infront of them.

he makes it to the kitchen and finally pieces together who lives here-its the piece of shit he has half his classes with, the word snob as a person, someone he cant help but loathe for his gross elitism. its dennis reynolds. some kid thats really full of himself, someone who helped trademark ‘the rat’ and laughs at mac while hes down. he didnt really mind, its not like he was bullying charlie, and he was strong enough to take the half-assed insults this guy threw at him. it wasnt a big deal.

but here, now-he found dennis in the midst of his own party, alone in the kitchen, half-empty bottle of tequila in tow, and what looked like mascara trailing from his eyes. what a pussy is what he was about to say, but something stopped him. dennis looked at the other boy looming over him and flinched, covering his face instantly. mac was confused, what the hell was he doing that for? when dennis realized he was fine, he instantly tried to revert back to his cool guy defense mode. something compelled mac to crouch down next to him because, well geez, the poor kid was a mess.. and he felt like it humanized him. the urge to steal his things for a taste of a life he never had slowly died down as he said hello to the gracious party host himself. “why-are-you-here”s  were spit out instantly, because dennis didn’t remember inviting some dirty street rat to his party. mac gave a really half-assed excuse, which was all he needed to convince dennis he was supposed to be here, considering all his thoughts were mush from how out of it he was-he never had the opportunity to drink this much on account of his sister beating him to it, or his mom emptying everything after heated arguments with his dad. and although it annoyed him when she was drunk, it was better than falling asleep to the melody of fighting and the threat of an impending divorce.

but anyways, now mac is lost in his eyes and they’re both half a bottle of tequila down, and he isnt sure if hes holding his hand or just dreaming it. and oh god, his eyes are so beautiful and his lips are coated with strawberry chapstick and he wants to kiss them so bad, he wants to keep holding his hand for all of eternity but at the same time he wants to hold his face in his hands and wow he wants to kiss him so bad and to taste the strawberry chapstick and god, hes infatuated. he wants to wipe his tears away and to kiss his rosy cheeks and run his hands through his hair, so bad. and it hits him that hes too deep, what would charlie think of this? falling for the enemy? fuck. but that doesnt matter because all that matters now is the fact hes really hand in hand with someone hes fallen in love with, and all it took was talk of trauma and a bottle of tequila.

theyre no longer on the kitchen floor as theyre giggling hand in hand stumbling up the stairs, leaning on each other and shushing one another as they laugh too hard to smile right and their cheeks are flush and they arent sure if its the drinking or their company. theyre trying to be quiet as they close the door to the twins’ room and dennis tries to lock it with a shaky hand. mac watches him in utter jaw-dropping awe, feeling butterflies fill his stomach and suffocating any insecurity hed ever felt before. this was new to him. but dennis felt it even stronger. hed spent so long building up a wall, hed spent so long listening to his mothers vodka-fueled lectures about never letting yourself fall in love. barbara made him promise hed never do that to himself, it hurt too much she told him. but now he was sitting on the top bunk of his bed with what seemed to be the boy of his dreams, he didnt know he could ever feel this way or honestly feel anything at all, and he was too drunk to feel guilty for it.

hours pass and now mac is laying on his bare chest. dennis has his hands intertwined in his hair and hes taken away by how soft it is when he strokes it. macs never felt a wave of clarity envelop him so softly before. hes at peace. all the droning hum of party music is drowned out. all he can hear is the soft rhythm of their hearts and their cautious breathing, both scared that this still might not be real. macs heart flutters when he realizes dennis’ breathing gets faster as he moves his hand across his chest, and he looks up with half-slit puppy dog eyes that dennis is absolutely in love with. mac opens his mouth to speak, but changes his mind. he doesnt wanna jinx it, hes so scared he wont be able to impress cool kid dennis reynolds, and he doesnt wanna do anything to change this moment. he plays it safe. as he snuggles closer, dennis holds him and macs face is the warmest its ever been, and he buries it in the other boys chest. he doesnt know how to react to this, hes never known how to react to anything but especially nothing like this. his face is even warmer than macs and hes trying so hard to not let him know that he likes him because thats something his mom would be ashamed of. mac falls asleep on his chest, and dennis cant stop playing with his hair.

dennis wakes him up because he knows everything would be ruined if anyone found them together, especially his sister. god knows what she would do. and dennis tries to tell him he should leave, but the words choke him too much to come out when he sees macs adorable face glance up at him. and hes just too shy to say a word.

the next thing they know, dennis pulls him closer and theyre both kissing for the first time, and mac feels wrong. he wants to push him away and he knows he should feel absolutely horrible, he knows god would be disappointed in something like this and hes terrified of the consequences hell get. but he pushes the thoughts away and succumbs to the warmth that surrounds his body. dennis is holding him so gently and neither want to ever move again, and something compels them to stay together. the kiss is only broken by dennis’ nervous laughter, and a smile that he cant hide. and when the boys recollect themselves they start kissing again. they never went further than that, partially because they couldnt get it up this drunk and partially because they were too scared to ruin it, but it was still nice to fall asleep side by side, even if they didnt mean to

mac wakes up to the soft golden smile of the suns rays against the bed, and he vaguely remembers last night. panic sets in like it never has before. hes never stayed somewhere else this late before. what if charlie’s looking for him. what if whoever hes with didnt lock the door and someone saw him. and then he remembers who hes with, and hes terrified. what the hell did he do? he feels tears of shame well up because he knows hes a sinner in gods eyes and hes made the biggest mistake of his life, and oh fuck when he tried to get out from under the covers he woke dennis up. he isnt even half as shocked as mac is, hes calm. hes happy. hes never woke up so peacefully before, and hes grinning. he tries to tell mac good morning but hes rambling under his breath about how wrong this is and hes going to hell, and dennis takes that as a sign he shouldve taken his mothers advice. hes utterly crushed.

mac doesnt even apologize as he leaves, he slips on his boots and gets out as soon as he can despite the wavering tone in dennis’ protests and pleads to stay. he forgets his jacket during the rush. he leaves dennis confused and more scared of opening up than hes ever been, and he doesnt know how to deal with his feelings anymore. mac tries to forget everything. he never tells charlie. he doesnt ever want to look dennis in the eyes again. he never wants to feel that way again, because he went from feeling on top of the world to being ashamed and thinking he knows its wrong. he doesnt tell anyone.

[frownyfacehuman]

emotion: egypt

i wanna go and feel it just to see because i think it would be nice and i can learn a lot of things there. there is no amount of partying and instagram pics and hot outfits that can take the space of my yearning to connect with people that are genuine. i dont know about egypt but i know not that much genuineness goes on in the two north american big cities where i have met people throughout my life. i dont want it to sound like generalization but, speaking very candidly here, between friends, the values promoted in america and canadian society are largely rooted in the fulfillment of a certain self image that i cant fulfill because due to being POC the narrative that this culture gives me is one of a comedic relief side character that is weird and probably not that ‘fun’ as a result of being associated with things that nobody cares about such as oppression and the lingering notes of colonialism in the air that are only detected when pungent, such as in instances of white supremacy and the most extreme examples of capitalism’s negative impact. things are sometimes fun. but it doesnt really change the fact that what is underlying is not fun. like in doing something as simple as following trends and being obsessed with social media, we perpetuate the bottomless consumerism and feed into the demand for more efficient digital marketing to like indoctrinate the whole western world with nonsense that distracts us from ever doing anything meaningful. why do we all waste so much time on talking about stupid stuff and observing the lives of people who we know just to compare. this is like not the worst thing ever to do but it just represents being devoid of any concept of empathy and uncertainty. al amin said he saw the black part of his soul leave his body and that our souls come in and out of us and you can see it. the black is the evil and he said he saw it leave. he doesnt worry about the status of his identity at all. he doesnt play the games of personhood that some people make themselves crazy trying to get good at. i am so over the evil and i want to get rid of the black part of my soul. so i want to go somewhere that i can learn to actually be a person. i hope egypt is that place so bad. i hope it meets every idealistic fantasy i make of it in my head and have been making since forever. i truly do not fit in here in a way that i can feel good about. i can fit in and i know how, but i do not want to become something that i cannot respect. something that brags about itself and listens to reply rather than to simply listen and is vain and wants to be better than others. something that makes other people feel bad about themself. something that takes itself serious and doesnt laugh at things that are really funny but laughs at things that seem like they should be laughed at. i want to understand what is funny and what is serious because i think these ideas are too mixed up. i love when somebody laughs at something that is really funny and i didnt even realize until thinking twice how something is funny that i hadnt even thought twice about. i want to write a book about what is so funny. that lady at muji with the spray bottle for the face makes me laugh to this day. everything is such a hilarious joke. i dont want to take these jokes seriously. i just want to go chill and learn things and laugh at the certainty of some people. myself included alot of the time. i am sitting on the floor of my messy bedroom with a ripped curtain beside me that has a sculpture of 4 fingers that are in the forest that are posed as trees. clothes all around and i had time for this sculpture made from dollarama supplies and 11$ air dry clay. last night i was drunk and i still made dua before bed. i tell lies. these contradictions are what makes a person a joke. my priorities are not straight and i cant decide on one thing to be. i can laugh about it. i deleted ig for a semester and thought it totally change my views; like, girl shut up. i know that i am funny and not in the way that is a compliment. like funny as in to be laughed at. aminata called me a clown once and she was right. i am a clown. i wish i wasnt but i adopted clownery as a coping mechanism for life. i cant get shit done, i entertain my delusions, and i just want to have fun rather than be virtuous sometimes. i am able to laugh and have a good time with people that i do not really respect. it is clownery. it is potentially camp? the way that i idealize egypt is also funny because i do not know anything about it truly. this has also been an aspect of my clownery adopted in response to a lifetime of responsibilities and expectations i dont care about combined with beauty standards and culture that dont fit me and microaggressions. i hope my clownery is funny and i cant be loved despite it. or i hope that i can learn to overcome it. and then instead be like someone responsible with principles and on top of her shit as well. i acc was really killing it when i was able to convince myself to do so during the semester i deleted ig but i can’t do it again because it makes me a joke. it makes me the girl who is trying to be deep and better than everyone, even though thats not the case its just that i get too into it when i have it due to way it is designed to be addictive and make us all a bit self obsessed. we should all shut up. i should shut up. 

[willgayers]

reddie at a fuckinn,,, office christmas party and eddie is like 'oh finally my chance to talk to the cute guy (richie) that works in HR' but then richie walks in and he's wearing the UGLIEST fucking christmas sweater ever and eddie loses his shit ((idk this just came to mind do what u want with it)) ((((this is kinghanscom ily)))

@kinghanscom MY ACTUAL GOD ,,, I WORSHIP ,, LOVE, AND ADORE YOU

theyre like ,, 25-26 here

office christmas parties… oh god

first of all they’ve been seeing each other in work the whole year, never really talked 

they were in the break room at the same time a couple of times but they never really got far with talking

as richie was always busy being the jester of the break room 

but one time he winked at eddie before he turned his gaze away to talk to somebody else again 

and eddie rushed away with a blush

and his donut

well yeah,,, back to the christmas party:

“hey greta” eddie smiles at the old info counter lady as he walks in 

“hello eddie,,, here take this”

she gives him the “hi my name is” sticker

eddie writes “Eddie” on it and sticks it to his baby blue button-up 

he grabs a glass of the “champagne” on the tray but its probably some cheap apple cider just put in a fancy glass

eddie sips it and cringes

yep he was right

soon he turns his gaze to the left side of the hall, where laughter is coming from

who else but richie tozier is in there,,, entertaining as usual

eddie bites on his lip because tonight would be a great opportunity to finally talk to the cute scrawny guy 

like eddie had no idea if he was gay or anything (at least not according to the awful shoes he wore) but he HAD winked at eddie so??? 

suddenly everyone starts to disappear from around richie,,, to get more drinks or smoke cigars or something

richie gets left alone,, and eddie notices how he pulls his smartphone out from his pocket and starts to scroll on it

now is your chance kaspbrak

eddie gulps the cheap apple cider down in one take and leaves the now empty glass on the table before making his way to richie 

he inhales and exhales once more,,, before he steps forwards

“hey” eddie says

richie turns around, not expecting to see who he did but now a huge smirk takes over his face

“hey!!! its you”

eddie’s gaze slides down to the shirt richie is wearing

its,,, a ,,fucking shirt,,, with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer 

“what the FUCK is that” eddie asks, nodding towards his shirt, his gaze still stuck on it 

richie glances down at his shirt again

“its a shirt with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer” he says

“oh my fucking god” eddie facepalms

“what???” richie asks “you dont think its cool???”

“NO i dont think its cool i think its a fucking disaster”

“excuse me i paid good money for this” richie jokes

“wasted money i say” eddie says, and now regrets drinking his apple cider down in one go 

he notices an abandoned glass on the table next to him tho so he leans to grab it 

“whats your name, flower of positivity?” richie asks

eddie looks at him for a moment, wondering whether this was a bad freaking idea 

but then he remembers he’s literally been swooning over this guy throughout the whole year

“eddie” he says “says so in here too”

he points at his chest

“ah! right” richie says

eddie turns his gaze to richie’s sticker

which says

“hi, my name is…

CHICKA CHICKA SLIM SHADY”

eddie raises his brows

“are you kidding me”

richie smirks

“pretty genius huh”

“no. thats awful. and used”

“you’re very negative aren’t you” richie smirks, tilting his head and sipping his drink 

eddie had no idea why he was like this tbh

somehow this guy annoyed him to the maximum?!??!!? BUT WHY?!?!?! 

just a few minutes ago he was standing in the elevator his tummy turning around at the thought of running into richie tonight

“you’re really weird” eddie just says

richie laughs

“is that all?”

eddie looks at him quietly

“sit down,,, eddie”

richie pats the empty seat next to him on the awful leather couch

eddie hesitates for a moment but then sits down

“so,,, eddie…..” richie starts “im richie”

eddie fake gasps

“so youre not slim shady???” he asks dryly

richie smirks so wide because ?!?!?!??! !

EDDIE KASPBRAK IS FINALLY TALKING TO HIM 

(he actually knew his name was eddie already)

(because richie’s got the BIGGEST crush)

(it all started when he saw eddie in the break room the first day and noticed eddie picking out a donut for five minutes and then glancing around to see no one was witnessing,,, he grabbed two)

(and didnt realize richie was outside behind the counter)

(so he asked his name from greta)

(and she told him)

(and the whole year richie wanted to talk to him but thought eddie wouldnt like him so he made sure everyone ELSE liked him first and that eddie would notice richie was actually very likable :(((( ) 

(ANYWAY BACK TO THE PRESENT MOMENT)

“i knew you were funny” richie says

“i am kinda funny” eddie shrugs

“thats unfair. usually you can only pick one”

eddie frowns 

“huh??”

“i mean,, you’re already cute as heck. and you’re also funny?? thats not fair. pick one”

eddie blushes vigorously as his jaw drops a little because holy fuck that was smooth

and richie smiles wide 

“youre-”

then all the people march back in from out of nowhere

“HEY RICHIE YOU WANNA COME TAKE SOME SHOTS? JAKE JUST GOT THE VODKA BOTTLE!”

they both stare at the workers,,, and then glance at each other

eddie’s kinda disappointed because he only ever hangs out with three people and richie’s the more famous one 

so obviously he’s gonna go with these people

why would he stay with eddie

“no thanks guys im gonna stay here with eds”

“with who????” eddie raises his brows in a excuse-me-what’d-ya-call-me way 

“you sure???” the guy who suggested shots asked, a little confused

“yeah” richie nodded “am perfectly comfortable here”

eddie blushes again but this time there’s a small smile to it as he looks at richie

richie winks at him

“okay. fine” the guy says

“BOOOOORING” one of them says from behind him and off they go 

“you didnt have to do that” eddie says

“but i wanted to” richie shrugs “why would i care about some vodka shots when i have something much more interesting going on here,,,”

“okay romeo enough with the flirting” eddie chuckles

“why though?” richie tilts his head “i find you extremely flirty-worthy”

“you dont even know me” eddie smiles amusedly 

“i know you stole two donuts on our first day” richie says and sips his drink as eddie gasps and his jaw drops

“I THOUGHT NOBODY SAW ME”

“well you thought wrong sweet tooth” richie smirks

“its just,,, who the hell can decide between a raspberry sprinkle and a salted caramel?!?!?!?”

“i totally get you” richie nods understandingly “i feel the same about a chocolate and a crunchy crunchy one”

“YEAH” eddie says “like honestly i think everyone should be allowed to take two donuts. one donut… what the fuck is this, the biggest loser????”

richie laughs

“yeah i know right”

“yeah” eddie says, sipping his cider again

and richie smiles

because wow they havent talked for even thirty minutes but he’s like so fucking whipped already????

“i didn’t tell anyone though” richie says

eddie looks at him for a moment,, his heart swelling up a little 

but he doesnt show it outside

“good. because i would have fucking wrecked you”

“oh i dont doubt that for a second” richie says

and he means it 

eddie looks at him for a moment ,,, starting to smile but then he laughs

like really laughs

and richie is heart eyes 

“whats your opinion on cinnamon sugar though?” richie asks

“its okay” eddie says “kind of boring,, but its okay”

“agreed” richie nods

they look at each other for a moment before eddie speaks

“i gotta confess”

“i am not the father”

eddie laughs again

richie’s proud w himself and smiles 

“no,, im serious. i uh,…. i knew your name was richie”

richie raises his brows lightly

“,,,reeeeaaallly????” he asks, starting to smirk 

of course eddie did

one of his work buddies,,, tacy caught him staring at richie one day 

…. 

“what are we looking at”

eddie gasped and turned around, seeing tacy wiggle her brows at eddie  with a cup of coffee in her hand

“jesus,, how long have you been standing there”

“long enough to notice you’re totally daydreaming about the new guy”

“I AM NOT DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE NEW GUY HOW DARE YOU!” eddie gasped

tacy raised her brows 

okay fine

tacy was right

eddie just glanced behind him again,,, looking at the curly haired guy unpacking his box

“you know him???” eddie asked and turned back around

“yeah” tacy shrugged “his name’s richie”

“richie??” eddie asked 

“richie tozier” tacy said, turning her gaze to the guy “and i would climb that up like a tree”

“hey! i saw him first” eddie half-joked, frowning and tacy burst out laughing

“calm down, kaspbrak, i’ve got a boyfriend” tacy said. “but if i didn’t, though…. mmmm-mmm-mm-”

eddie playfully smacked her arm, making tacy laugh again

“come on, we got work to do” tacy said

“but-”

“you can talk to him on lunch break”

—-

(he never did)

“yeah” eddie says “my uh… my friend tacy told me”

“tacy?? tacy’s your friend??” richie asks

eddie gets a little bothered

“…yeah why?”

like has tacy done something with richie???

“she’s been flirting with me this whole year” richie shrugs as he gulps on his drink and slouches deeper to the couch and eddie’s jaw drops

THAT BITCH

ok eddie knew she flirted with everyone

bUT STILL

“dont worry. i was actually focused on someone else” richie says,, and turns his gaze back to eddie 

whose tummy flips again

“…..reeaaaaallly” he imitates richie from earlier and richie of course notices this,,, starting to smirk

“yeah. reaaaaally” he says

eddie smirks wide back at him, before he notices his glass is empty

“well, richie, my glass is empty.”

“oh my god no,,, we have to change that”

“i know” eddie fake gasps 

“that can not happen” richie says and gets up, holding his hand out for eddie who grabs it and richie pulls him up

“at a office christmas party? no way you’re gonna be sober”

eddie chuckles

its music to richie’s ears

they walk to the drink table and get more drinks

approximately a hour and a half later they’re making out hot and heavily inside a broom closet

gotta love office christmas parties

@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak@whipashwhipash@rissyq@richietoaster@edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth @richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers @temptedtozier @kaspbraccs @kylieee827-blog@sad-synth @low-key-dying @officiallyreddie @reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie @rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609@fabulousprinceali @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers@tatiscribbles @bellsd129

[randomuser678]

This may be my own kinda ask but I really want to hear your opinion cause you seem to have a really great one about alot of stuff! Which danganronpa game do you feel was the best story, gameplay, characters and twist wise?? I hope you don't mind me going though and finding your other ask posts and ask8ng dome more asks. but thank you very much if you do This!

Oooohhh, thank you so much for asking!

Well, firstly, Im no entirely cought up with ndrv3, even tho I already have a pretty general idea here, and honestly, I don’t feel too motivated to continue, but that’s definitely gonna change at some point

I’m gonna say I’m biased towards the first game, at least when it comes to best story, twist and characters, because it was what started most trends in other dangan games, the story on dr1 served as a base to the following games and it introduced to everyone the dangan world and most of it’s rules, so when the other games showed this world it just felt weaker, just felt like they were rehearsing the same story that Ive heard b4, there was the same basic plot with ultimates trapped on a place and forced to murder eachother, the only differences being what their talents and main location were, so it feels like the shocking plot of teenagers and murders just got less shocking over time, they kept using this plot and it stopped being original.

But that wasn’t a bad thing, they kept following the same storyline, of course they’d have the same base story, so maybe it would have been better if they kept changing canons for each game? I doubt that would work, but hey, that would mix things up for sure.

But the worst part abt the trends that the first game started, is that I just can’t help but feel like so many story points were done much better at DR1, for example: Junko, the big bad gal, the queen of despair, the main villain of the franchise.

She has appeared in all of the games, and just everywhere really, as cosplay, as AI, whatever, she was there since the first game, and always as the villain, or some sort of force related to the villain, which is good, I love her, but since the first game, y'know how that turned into less of a plot twist and more of a boring pattern.

On the first game her villainy was the biggest plot twist, the girl that had died on the first chapter and never mentioned ever since, was actually alive and the one behind the murders, that just surprised me so much, who would even go on that direction. I absolutely loved it, and the whole basis of the plot twist was that the gyaru was actually the villain, and even tho I didn’t get that right of the bat I now find this pretty smart, and just goes to show how dr likes to subvert these anime tropes.

But then she was the mastermind on the second game.

I mean I loved having her round again, but “The villain this time is the villain from the last time“ isn’t that much of a surprise anymore, and seeing how Junko just turned into basically an all seeing always present god, I wonder why they kept pulling that off years after the first game, that is the most noticeable trend from the first game, and repeating the same plot twist just doesn’t seems like a good writing strategy.

But I can kind of see how that could work, you keep pulling the same plot twist again and again but adding more stuff each time, so the new one feels different from last ones, like “You were classmates” and then “You were classmates, and also you were evil“ or “It was Junko all along“ and then “It was Junko all along except it she is a fictional character“ and I guess that’s kind of creative, if that’s what they were going for here, but that doesn’t explain why they kept repeating so many story points and the character patterns.

The parallels between the first game and the second are pretty easy to make, first chapter there’s always a plan where the wrong person dies, second chapter is something or someone from the character’s past “coming back” to haunt the murderer, third chapter there are two ppl who are killed, and only one death was really planned from the beginning and the murderer is the least sympathetic of them all, on the fourth chapter the gentle giant dies and they always has good intentions and the chapter has a sacrifice being made and there is a blah blah blah abt what a life is worth and all of that, the fifth chapter is leading to the end, so many plot twists are made here, that one character that seemed like they were too badass and too present in the story dies (I mean Mukuro wasn’t present, but the story was hyping her as this mysterious force leading up to the final revelation) and then the two last games have final chapter revealing the mastermind and additional plot twists, the first game didnt have a sixth chapter cuz they had less of a plot to discover, the other games just kept adding to the basic line that I talked abt here.

So the discussion here is basically which game did all of this better.

The first game introduced this pattern, so it has some sort of advantage, the second one just felt like a copout for me, and the third one was pretty linear with this too but the last chapter was just, wow.

The final game had the biggest final plot twist, as in, it was a giant middle finger to the audience, which is not really a bad thing, but it still shocked me, the first chapter had already a plot twist that made some fans abandon the game, so you can only imagine what the last one did with some fans, I never expected the franchise to be this meta, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it just yet.

Of course, nobody likes discovering that the characters you got so invested weren’tactually who you thought they were, I mean, yeah, they are fictional characters so of course you knew that they were fake ppl anyways, but knowing that the fictional characters that you love are fictional on their own fictional world, that’s fictionalception! And just hard to follow tbh.

So on one hand it was a shocking twist that took a really different turn from the last games, but in other hand, it made the story feel weaker somehow, knowing that this fabricated morals were fabricated on it’s own world, if that makes sense, I don’t know how to describe it.

I also wanna mention that on ndrv3 almost all of the murderers were sympathetic, the only exceptions being the mastermind and the third chapter, but that’s how it always is. On the first game it was all very gray, the murderers had their own reasons and you could feel bad for them if you wanted, but the game didn’t seem to side with either the victim or the culprit, you could understand how the Sayaka planned to murder Leon, but you also could see how Leon took advantage of the situation (And tbh they both were pretty stupid), you could understand how Mondo just lost control and did something horrible, but you can also see how that happened and how Chihiro was stronger than him (And that chapter was amazing tbh), but on the second game it felt more guilt-trippy for me, doesn’t help the fact that everyone just forgot abt the ppl who were killed, bcuz they had connections with the murderers, and I didn’t like the twist on the second trial at all, I felt like most of the characters got no development on the main plot line at all, the only really big exception being Kuzu and Hinata I think.

I preferred when they left it more gray, when the story allowed us to understand the murderer’s motive without feeling like they were forcing you to love them. That’s what it was like for me on the second and third games, but mostly on the second one.

It also doesn’t help that they almost always forget about the ppl who died as the story goes on, either that or they only remembered of their respective love interest.

And oh God, love interests, I don’t care about any romance on this franchise, the biggest offenders were So/n/dam/ and all of the hets in ndrv3, but I’m not gonna go in details here, that would be just  too unpleasant.

So like, ndrv3 had many cutscenes, which meant more character interactions, and seeing how a character interacts with other ppl is always a great thing, it builds better both characters, makes them feel more real, makes things less boring, and it’s just great, and dr1 didn’t have much of that, or at least not any remarkable ones like the other games, which sucks bcuz I wanted more of those characters, but they were still starting the franchise so of course it was gonna be like that.

And can I say how in sdr2 it felt like the coolest girls felt like were all forced to have a boy on their story lines? Sonia doesn’t do anything big on the story even tho she is pretty smart and curious, she only really did something when she was crying over Gundham, Peko is limited to her young master, which makes sense on the story (She was raised to only care abt him) but still feels like a waste of a character, almost everything Akane does on the story is related to Nekomaru somehow, or ends up with Nekomaru and as a result she gets no development, and hardly ever interacts with anyone outside of that dude. Peko and Akane never interact and that’s honestçy the worst of all of this, they are the two fighter girls with totally different styles! They should have hanged out more.

The guys were always on the spotlight and that makes me kinda sad, such wasted potential, and while that’s kind of a problem on this whole franchise, it was easier to see on sdr2 tbh.

The girls on ndrv3 and dr1 were great tho.

And also I rate male characters on dr based on how date-able they are, so it’d be like

Best boys- SDR2 (Would date them all)

Second best boys-DR1 (I dont like Togami that much but most of them are ok)

Worst boys-NDRV3 (I only like Hoshi and Gonta)

And gameplay wise ndrv3 wins, just, so many minigames and bonus content, it’s the newer game so obviously they’d have great gameplay.

So to cut it short, cuz I just went everywhere here

Best story: Ndrv3, dr1 is a close second, but since ndrv3 had two other games to live up to, they had a more solid basis when it comes to what to expect and how strong plot twists feel, even tho I still lean towards dr1 that started this mess.

Best gameplay: Ndrv3, the newer one with tons of bonus content and weird class trials

Best characters: Dr1, I loved the characters and was never able to get over them, even tho they didn’t have tons of character interactions like the other games. On a side note Ndrv3 has the best girls and Sdr2 has the best boys, but as a whole, I like Dr1 gang the best.

Best plot twist:Ndrv3 just loved having a bunch of those, but I still liked the whole Junko thing on the first game.

                                    Some other stuff too

Dr3 was an alright anime, I didnt like the end or how the character were treated and just forgotten abt forever, and I want them back, but still, I just loved seeing them animated and full of life.

Despair girls followed my fav from the first game, Toko, and an awesome protag, too bad the game felt like pandering to pedophiles so much, I know that isn’t anything new to this franchise at this point, and anime generally is like this, but it was just disgusting, they tried to tackle on the subject of child abuse while having fan service scenes with minors, that made everything worse, and was a waste of a cool concept and characters. At least the kids survived in the end.

I haven’t read dr0

So that’s it, thank you so much for sending an ask, I hope you have a great new year and stuff!