#nobody is allowed to make this without me consulting
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Toothless (and generally most dragons) lost all his personality in thw.
Gone was the loyal, protective, intelligent, curious, silly, expressive, understanding, and sassy/snarky dragon we adored more and more through each new installment in the franchise.
Who is this puppy in thw and what did he do to Toothless?
Look me in the eye and tell me that if anyone, dragon or not, was to pluck Hiccup off his back and send him into the ocean to die, they wouldn't get a minimum of two blasts in the face.
Yes, Toothless is playful and silly and adorable, but only around the people/dragons he trusts, and especially around Hiccup specifically.
Otherwise, his guard is up, he is wary, and he himself has to evaluate whether or not someone is safe to be around.
"Hey, I guess Dean dumbed him down because he wanted to show the effects of domestication—"
Woah there, big words.
Domestication? The definition of domestication is "the process of taming an animal and keeping it as a pet or on a farm".
That is not what's happening on Berk.
Dragons were never pets to humans. (If anything, humans were their pets.)
They stood by the Vikings' sides out of their own volition, and were free to come and go as they pleased.
We see this clearly in GoTNF.
They wouldn't let a human they didn't trust so much as touch them, let alone allow them anywhere near their backs.
They are the ones that choose their riders, or if they even want one, not the other way around.
And they weren't exactly "tamed" either. Or rather, nobody tried to alter their nature and innate instincts.
In RoB, we clearly see that Vikings are the ones who adjust, who adapt accordingly, because dragons are gonna do what dragons do.
And those instincts of theirs were honed. They weren't tamed, they were trained.
The notion that wild dragons are more powerful because they're wild makes no sense to me, because while wild dragons have raw power and raw instinct, trained dragons arguably have more than that.
They learn to work with other dragons, and they're able to pull off some incredible moves, because their bodies are, well, consistently trained.
They go on dangerous missions on the regular, for fuck's sake. During which, they also have to think. The dragons aren't told what to do, nor are they steered by their riders constantly (and when they are, the dragons trust them to do so)
They can take the reins as well (and when they do, the riders trust them to do so), but most of the time, they both move together in sync, understanding what, and how it, needs to be done.
In what world would such a lifestyle weaken them, or threaten to erase their aforementioned instincts?
I don't get Dean's point.
And Hiccup? What's up with the poor decision making?
Because I know damn well Hiccup wouldn't let dragons take over Berk to the point where, within the first ten minutes of the movie , half of it collapses. An event which apparently everyone is used to, because nobody worries about it.
He put an ocean between Garff and a couple of dragons because of how incompatible they were, in terms of needs and way of life.
He relocated dragons constantly, so as not to overcrowd and/or to protect the Edge.
Even when he was, what, 15 in RoB/DoB, he was mindful of the way he handled situations, to ensure Berk and the Vikings wouldn't be overwhelmed with dragons.
He understood that it's impossible for thousands of dragons to cohabitate with humans, and with each other, peacefully and without chaos.
Not to mention, he respected dragon culture and understood that some spaces were not made for the human eye. He made such a big deal about revering Vanaheim, and you expect me to believe he'd be okay with just exposing a place called The Hidden World, a delicate draconic paradise?
And wow, way to go, let's uproot the ENTIRE village, and go searching for this place that we don't even know for sure exists? Yes, very responsible.
And why not just make a life-changing call without consulting anyone, or thinking it through, based on what you alone think is best, while you're at it? Sounds like a great idea.
It's not like in previous installments he always made sure to have a team huddle to discuss (or at least inform the group of) their next move, even in the tightest of spots and with the littlest time; no, of course not.
His leadership abilities, his tactical and strategic thinking, his caution, his conviction and determination? Gone. Erased.
Who is this guy in thw and what did he do to Hiccup?
And as for Toothless and Hiccup's dynamic in this movie, something that Astrid said bugs me to an unfathomable degree.
"You gave him his freedom back, what did you expect?"
Woah there, big talk.
This paints a horribly ugly picture. It makes Toothless seem like he'd been held captive by Hiccup, that if he could've flown on his own, he would never have stuck around this long.
Which, much like the rest of this movie, is a load of horseshit.
Toothless is just as free, if not free-er than, as the rest of the dragons. Because while all dragons love and trust their riders, and vice versa, nobody has a connection quite like Toothless and Hiccup (save for perhaps Valka and Cloudjumper).
Toothless could've been flying on his own for a long, long time now. But he didn't want it. He was vehemently opposed to the idea.
Why? Because to him, flying was no longer worth it if Hiccup wasn't right there with him. Because Hiccup took the loneliness out of flying. Because Toothless wanted nothing more than to be by Hiccup's side. Hiccup was the one that made flying worth it.
A major theme of this movie is learning to fly on your own. Toothless had to learn how to fly without Hiccup, and Hiccup had to learn how to fly without Toothless (I mean, personally I'd rather them remaining inseparable soulmates that are mildly codependent. I recognize it's not necessarily the healthiest dynamic, but fuck if I care)
Toothless did this through meeting his mate, and falling in love (no matter how horribly written and designed she is, and no matter how I personally would've preferred for the Hicctooth bromance to remain undisturbed).
He met a creature that he wanted to follow and be alone with, a creature that made flying alone, with nobody on his back, worth it.
And more importantly, Hiccup had to realize that he's not who he is because he has Toothless, and subsequently the dragons. It's the opposite.
This is growth, and the realization that they don't need each other is important.
But why the fuck does that mean they have to say goodbye?
I don't need most of the people in my life. That doesn't mean I don't want them here.
The point was that Hiccup doesn't need Toothless in order to be someone.
Not that he didn't need Toothless, period.
(Even if the point was simply that he didn't need Toothless, which I could concede to, that again doesn't mean that Toothless had to leave, and take the entire dragon population with him.
To me, that sends a message of "if you don't need them, then they gotta go".
It's not what outgrowing a friendship looks like, despite the fact that many people choose to interpret it as such.
Sure, this movie shows what outgrowing a friendship is; if outgrowing a friendship means making room in your life for other people. If outgrowing a friendship means you found romance. Which is ridiculous.)
___________________
To further clarify:
I am well aware the shows aren't canon.
This, however, doesn't change the fact that all these series tie in with HTTYD 2 really well, and that they make sense.
They expand on the characters and give us a better grasp of the world in httyd. They allow us to understand everything better.
When you only have, at most, 150 minutes to tell a story, every minute of it needs to somehow add to the plot. To further the narrative. There is very little time for fluff.
In a movie, it's practically impossible to properly explore the characters' different dynamics, to give everyone their own arc, to let the audience bask in the slow moments and to let the characters just be.
In a series, however? Well. You've definitely got time.
For someone who only watched the movies, it would be pretty damn difficult to understand the mis-characterization in say, Snotlout, Fishlegs and the twins.
You don't know these characters that well. You don't know the well-established dynamics between the gang in the same way that someone who's watched the series does.
Which is exactly why I think that people who've watched them are the ones that dislike the hidden world the most.
I, too, am usually opposed to using non-canon material to make a point, but RoB, DoB and RTTE are the only spin-off series from a successful movie franchise I can name that make perfect sense. That succeed in accurately portraying the main cast, in realistically expanding on the secondary characters (like Fishlegs, Snotlout, and the twins, who now have the space to become part of the main cast), and in smoothly integrating new characters.
They also manage to beautifully explore this magical universe full of dragons, adventure, and mystery, while firmly establishing the dragons as an important part of ecosystems all around.
Whether it's subconscious or not, they create an unshakable image of how all the characters think, act, and interact. You spend a hell of a lot longer with the characters in a lengthy eight season series than in two movies.
But it's not a bad thing, because this image carved by the series fits in nicely with the image carved in all the canon installments of the franchise.
Well. Except for one, cough cough.
#and don't get me started on the rest of the cast's characterization#along with their dynamics and interaction with each other#my anti thw agenda#thw criticism#thw slander#thw salt#this rant is a mess#and possibly nonsensical#and i possibly veer off topic a million times#not sure#hiccup haddock#toothless#exactly because i love them so much do i hate this movie with such vitriol#analysis#long post#gratuitous use of the words “dragons” and “humans”#the hidden world#rtte#httyd rob#httyd dob#besides#if the series were canon then thw would make significantly and i mean SIGNIFICANTLY less sense#still the fact that you don't even NEED to bring them up to explain why the movie sucks is a pretty good indication#that even without their existence thw would still suck#though it would be less obvious#hictooth
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re: gallbladder stuff i'm sorry you're dealing with all that, I know you already know it's all BS, but i just wanted to share my experience with gallbladder surgery that really emphasizes how BS it is: -my surgeon didn't ask me to lose weight in order to operate even though i was also over 300lbs at the time -they treated it as an urgent surgery even though i had to get it done during COVID lockdowns -the doctor told me that it was almost certainly genetics that caused me to have gallstones, there was nothing i could have done to cause it -the doctor told me i should stick to a plain diet leading up to the surgery to reduce the chances of passing another gallstone, but told me that once you pass one stone it's not a matter of if but when you'll pass another. the only way to stop it completely is to remove the organ your doctors are treating you terribly for actually no reason and i'm sorry they're doing that to you. i wish there was a way to hold healthcare workers accountable for these things.
thank you SO much for this ask, holy shit
i'm so glad they didn't ask you to lose weight and treated it like an emergency, which it was. i'm really glad they actually treated you. nobody should have to put up with having a diseased organ stay in their body because of someone else's prejudice. i've been considering asking fatphobic doctors why they are even in the medical field to begin with if they can't wrap their heads around the fact that fat people need medical help as well, whether it's related to their fatness or not doesn't matter. many fat people WILL need some form of medical attention in their lives. why would anyone who actually cares about helping others go into medicine if they knew they couldn't handle a little bit of cellulose
also thank you for confirming that there's a genetic factor and that if it happens once, it'll happen again. that's what i was showing in my research. i mean it makes sense, it's not going to do that just once, and i have multiple stones in my gallbladder. i don't understand why multiple stones isn't cause for concern. my mother had to have her gallbladder removed as well. and i've also shown in my research that there's very little to nothing a person can do to cause themselves to develop gallstones, unlike kidney stones which can be caused by severe and repeated dehydration
thank you so much, i've felt absolutely horrible in the wake of this. it made me feel as though my pain was somehow my fault, as if it wasn't worth looking into. i don't think anyone should have to feel like that, especially when they have a diseased organ that needs removed. it was like she didn't even see it as a matter of disease and illness, but rather something completely caused by me. i could tell she thought it was my fault due to eating a "high fat diet" and not because there's a genetic factor.
the "high fat diet" affects my liver way more than my gallbladder, and even then: i do not routinely eat a high fat diet. my liver is the one who got upset when i ate a lot of high fat and processed foods while i was homeless. my gallbladder is not the one who's having a hard time with anything that i choose to do of my own volition. the organ itself is literally diseased and no amount of kale smoothies and celery could ever fix that
thank you, i really appreciate you. i'm glad you were able to get treated without pushback. i think what i'm going to do is call that office and ask to consult with one of their other surgeons to see if they all believe that, or if it's just the one surgeon i spoke to. i also want to report her for medical malpracitce because she's choosing to let me continue to get violently ill because of her own personal issues. she's allowing me to remain sick and potentially be subject to even worse things like you mentioned
again, i really appreciate the amount of support i've gotten over this. i didn't realize that i was being treated this poorly. i really appreciate you, i'm going to do whatever i can to advocate for myself so i can get this removed ASAP. i want to be able to eat regular meals again without pain or vomiting. i want to be able to sit and stand upright without severe stabbing pain in my abdomen. i want to live my life again. i appreciate you, take care of yourself, thank you for your kindness and reassurance
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You everr realize that Vivziepop is completely bullshitting when it comes to ethnic casting because of Millie?
Like we are definitely getting imp human disguises for merch reasons so its definitely going to come up.
But like if Millie is black then her family should be played by black VAs but all of them are white VAs. Like I don't think Millie is adopted since she looks like a younger version of her mother.
The best course would then be making Millie white and no we can't use Erica being the original VA as evidence because that was always meant to be a temp casting.
But then this creates an issue in Helluva Boss having no fucking diversity like Vivziepop doesn't have to answer to corporate demands to make the ENTIRE CAST white. She can choose to add diversity.
If she makes Millie black that's also showcasing a huge issue in Helluva's lack of diversity in its main group of characters and Millie could come off as a token. Then you have the fact Morgana and Ed would come under fire for taking POC roles as well as Spindle allowing it unless Vivziepop retcons Millie as adopted or half siblings with Sallie.
Like Into The Spiderverse had half its human cast be POC and it answered to corporate demands. Then Across The Spiderverse without spoiling anything has a MAJORITY of the cast be POC.
Now you can argue Spiderverse is based off existing material unlike Helluva but those existing materials had put effort into adding POC in the first place. And guess what Spiderverse had consulted actual minorities when it came to development of the project.
Vivziepop is latina but she's white passing so she needs to consult people who don't pass to get a better understanding overall on things. Like I'm disconnected from my own culture but just because I'm part of it doesn't mean I have a full picture of it.
Vivziepop also isn't black, asian or indigenous so if she's telling stories that features them she needs to do research and consult people.
She actually consulted Morgana about Sallie May being trans thankfully but... I never hear any talk about other people she talks to which shows poor ass attempts. Like Morgana's insight is valid but she does not speak for all trans people and yes you aren't going to please everybody with representation but just consulting a SINGLE PERSON is insane. We also know Viv according to leaked screenshots has or had some form of transphobia so she absolutely needs to consult more people if she's trying to change and do better especially if she's writing about a trans character.
Like Morgana being a white transwoman will not have the same experience as a black transwoman for example. Like I know that from actively trying to learn about trans people.
Like there's a youtuber UnicornofWar who made a video about how the show RWBY is terrible at handling its racism allegory. Now Unicorn is white but actively went out of their way to consult multiple POC for the video and did a shit ton of research. Now I will say Unicorn in the past has said ignorant things about stuff like white washing (thinking its ok because of art style color pallets back then) in earlier videos but currently denounces that viewpoint (note: Unicorn as far as Im aware has never said anything with vile. I have to clarify so I don't misrepresent their person and people don't assume Unicorn like said a slur) and actually apologizes for their ignorance.
Has Vivziepop ever denounced her old views or behavior? Has she apologized for being ignorant in certain things? Is making a serious effort to change? Has Vivziepop researched throughly and listened to POC insights or concerns?
As far as I'm aware she hasn't.
I have noticed Viv's weird choices for Millie as a black character. I hate to say this but Millie is supposed to be token rep which to me is weird because nobody was pressuring Viv to add rep to her shows. I will say this even in a universe where Viv hired black VAs to voice Millie's family and did do properly research and consulted black people, Millie would still be considered token rep because she is the only the only main character in the show to not have an self-centered EP and has the least amount of screentime.
It makes me wonder if the reason why the IMPs don't have a canon human form yet is because Viv doesn't want to draw POC characters. She has shown she knows the importance of these disguises and they sell well on merch but the only characters who have canon human forms are Stolas and Loona, two white characters who arguably don't even need them. Blitzo is voiced by Brandon Roger who is a mixed Filipino (It's also canon Blitzo looks like Brandon Roger and Blitzo and Brandon Roger are intertwined together so it doesn't make sense for Blitzo to be white), Millie being a black woman, and Moxxie, despite what you might believe is a mixed Latino.
The POC rep we already have isn't good either. In Spring Broken, Verosika and her gang, who the majority are POCs, gets arrested and Verosika makes a joke about sucking police dicks to get out of jail. Having a POC character make a rape joke about police corruption unironically is not funny. Moxxie's mom is obviously supposed to be Latina, falls into the trope of nice POC women who get brutally abused and killed by their white husbands. This actually could have work and wouldn't be as tokenizing if 1. we got to learn about Moxxie's mom as a person and 2. her death wasn't solely use to be angst bait for a male character.
The Spiderverse crew actively puts effort and consulted with POC about characters from their culture. During the early stage of writing for Pavitr Prabhakar, the writing team struggled writing his character and called his VA, Karan Soni to help them write and consult on the character. Thanks to Karan Soni's contribution for Pavitr Prabhakar, he is beloved by desi people alike. Viv doesn't do that and probably will never. She has shown time and time again, she doesn't respect religions, using their symbols as an aesthetic and for monetary gain. Viv's designs for black and other POC characters are terrible, them alway never having POC features and looking racial ambiguous as hell and she ignored the criticism from black and POC people for these POC characters.
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✺ 𝘽𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 ✺
Hey everyone! Here are some boundaries for me/this blog that I'm asking y'all to please respect before interacting! Thank you so much, love you guys ♥
♥ Please no asks or discussions relating to Chris Evans' personal life. I want to keep this blog simply about his characters. I know in the past I have spoken about his personal life on here but I really am trying to steer away from that to keep this blog fun and lighthearted!
♥ No spam liking, please! I say this all the time but I still end up having to block people because of it. If you spam like about 20 of my posts one after the other, with no reblog, no comment, no nothing - then all that does is clog up my notifs and I am most likely going to block you.
♥ Please do not persistently keep sending me your fics to read. Of course, if you really want me to read something, you can 100% tag me in it! But tags are always meant to be no-pressure. I am creating this boundary because I just want my tumblr experience to be stress-free without feeling bad about not reading the fics I'm being sent through messages. Please just give me that grace, besties - sometimes I'm not in the mood to read a fic, or I just don't want to read it without having to give an explanation. Thank you.
♥ Besties, please try to refrain from sending me asks where you are searching for a fic. There are fic-finding blogs you can consult, or you could make your own post searching for it.
♥ This should go without saying, but please don't copy my stories or ideas. (But please don't misunderstand - you can obviously write whatever trope you want, nobody owns any trope or any general idea or plotline, and there are 1000s of different ways to interpret them. What I mean is to not directly copy from my existing fics/ideas).
♥ Lastly, this is already in my bio but I'll reiterate. NO MINORS ALLOWED on this 18+ blog! Please, just have an indication of your age in your bio or somewhere on your blog so I know! Thank you.
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As a professional gay or career queer, I often have to use my gender and sexuality as an educational tool.
I work with youth and so I use it to show them that I can exist in my (very red) State and that there’s not one way to be gay. I take on a mentor position as all they need is that hope to keep on fighting.
I have made it known that if friends or community members have questions about gender and sexuality and they are not sure if it’s appropriate to ask a queer person that they can come to me.
With this - I feel like I have given away my identity.
In June, I went to go get a consultation for top surgery and my plan was to keep this to myself. It would be my present to myself, a little piece of my identity that nobody knew about.
But the next day, I was in the car with a younger queer adult and I was trying to get them to open up to me so I could make sure they were okay. And without thinking, I gave my precious piece of identity away. Of course it worked. they told me they were trying to get HRT and was looking online. They said one site they were looking at ended up being run by neo n*zis, which I was so glad they told me so I could get them better resources. So I know that decision was helpful but there was still a part of myself that felt like I betrayed myself.
I gave it away again at a talk, that I don’t even know why I did but I did. I was presenting on Pride Flags and how they brought joy to everybody, when I was done a man got up to ask me a three part question about: transgender students in sports, gender affirming surgery, and book bans. I tensed up, I was already so emotionally charged because of pride month that I went on defense mode. I shared my happy joy of my journey in defense of my community. I left that talk feeling like a piece of me was gone.
I love my job as it allows me to be a voice to youth who feel like they have no voice. I love being a mentor to allies, so other queer people don’t have to be barraged with questions asking them to explain their sexuality and gender.
But at the end of the day, I’m left alone with pieces of my identity spread across my State.
#queer#trans#transgender#transmasc#nonbinary#queer advocacy#queer education#asexuel#queer enough#queer youth#trans hrt#hrt testosterone#top surgery#testosterone#queer journey#queer joy#gay#professional gay#career queer
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Now that I've had some time to really process things, I really do understand why Carlos did what he did. I'm also not surprised that he didn't tell TK bc we all know communication is not one of Carlos’s strengths. What does bother me though is the fans that refuse to acknowledge that Carlos has done something wrong by keeping his marriage a secret from TK. What bothers me is that any time a fan expresses the slightest bit of anger at the situation or on TK's behalf, they're bombarded with anon messages telling them they're wrong and bringing up every single mistake that TK has ever made. What bothers me is the fans that act like TK isnt completely allowed to be upset with Carlos for keeping this a secret from him for so long. Those are the things that bothered me. It's possible to be understanding about why Carlos kept all this a secret and still acknowledge that it was wrong.
I actually do understand why the writers chose to go this direction even if I don't like the way it was done. The fact of the matter is that Carlos has never been perfect. His flaws have always been there for everyone to see, it's just that many fans refused to see them. Whenever there was conflict between Carlos and TK in the past, TK has been the one to bear the blame even though there has been fault on both sides. Case in point, their s3 break up. Yeah the way TK reacted to Carlos buying them a house was disproportionate but people seem to completely overlook the fact that Carlos bought a house without even consulting TK on it. TK reacted the way he did bc he has always struggled with feeling like he's worthy of Carlos and he's always had a fear of losing things and so with this going so well, he panicked. This is literally stated in the show yet people were still so quick to jump on the TK hate train and insist that Carlos should make TK work to earn Carlos’s love back. The biggest irony is that I have yet to see anyone saying that Carlos isn't worthy of TK or that he should have to earn TK's love back since 4x01. And you know what? People shouldn't be saying that. What people are saying though is that they are upset that Carlos has always wanted TK to give him everything of himself ("I want all the parts") yet has held back something so big from him. It seems clear to me that some people just don't know how to handle Carlos being unequivocally in the wrong without the option of shifting all the blame onto TK. Hence why anytime a fan dares to vent on their own blog, they have to deal with people sending them messages listing mistakes TK has made as though any of those things are even relevant in this situation or they're just being blasted for being upset about it. Not only that but apparently we're not even allowed to praise how well TK handled it. It's OK to love Carlos and still acknowledge he has flaws guys. Certainly for me, my feelings on Carlos have not changed even though I'm upset about him not telling TK.
The thing that upsets me the most though is I think we all know that if TK had been the one to have a secret marriage, people would have been clamoring for his head. But this time there is no mutual blame and even TK's reaction can't be used against him bc he reacted so amazingly. The fact of the matter is, people in this fandom have been constantly questioning TK's worthiness in a way that nobody ever has with Carlos. And even now, I haven't seen anyone doing that with Carlos and they shouldn't be. That's why I understand why the writers chose this for Carlos bc I honestly can't think of anything else that would force people to confront Carlos’s flaws properly. Especially since even in the moments when Carlos has displayed his flaws, TK is still the one that ends up bearing the blame. Case in point, 3x13 where people were mad at TK for not "opening up to Carlos" bearing in mind that Tim (who is a recovering addict himself and thus if anyone knows a thing or two about this it's him) even explained that TK was actually doing the right thing by not including Carlos in this particular part of his life. And even despite that beautiful scene where TK explains his reasoning to Carlos, people were still trashing him. Carlos has shown a lot of growth over the seasons but true growth can only come once you actually confront the root of your issues. Of course, confronting the cause isn't going to magically make the issues go away. After all, TK knows why he struggles with his issues but he still struggles at times. But at least once you confront your issues, you can learn how to deal with them better. Carlos has never confronted his parents on how their own lack of communication and the pressure they put on him affected him. And the Reyes parents have never acknowledged how they've hurt Carlos. That's why that line from Andrea about having a talk with TK 3x04 rubs me the wrong way bc not only did Andrea not have any idea why TK broke up with Carlos, she never bothers to think about why Carlos was so afraid of letting them down and instead working on that. And then there were the fans writing fics about Andrea lecturing a bedridden TK and TK apologizing to Andrea. The only person TK owed anything at all to was Carlos and yet fans act like Andrea had any right to be lecturing TK on anything. And now this new revelation and the fact that Andrea apparently knew about it, makes the line even worse. We can call it sloppy writing if we want but the complete lack of self-awareness does line up with Andrea's character as well. Lmao can you imagine if Owen had ever even mentioned having a talk with Carlos even at the beginning of their relationship? Even though Owen at the time had very good reasons to be concerned about TK starting a new relationship but we all know people would have been calling for Owen's head if he had. And I'll bet they'd do the same now. As I've said before, the way this fandom deifies Gabriel and Andrea baffles me. Yes they love Carlos but they've also hurt Carlos in ways that Owen has never hurt TK yet this is completely glossed over.
All in all, as I said, I'm not mad about Carlos marrying Iris bc I can see why he would do that. I don't like him having kept it a secret from TK and I do think it's something that needs to be called out but I also get why he wouldn't bring it up bc it does fit his character. What makes me mad is the hypocrisy I've seen where the same people who have literally used TK bringing home a lizard to prove how he's not worthy of Carlos are now saying that fans have no right to be upset at this revelation or be upset on TK's behalf.
I am planning on making a post soon about the way some people in this fandom behave towards TK and how that reeks of ableism be it conscious or subconscious. As someone who is able to relate to TK on a very personal level, some of the stuff I've seen actually pains me
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Exit Strategy, Chapter 7
(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)
In which we finally get one of the more obvious jokes done properly.
Murderbot is full of shrapnel, and in a poor mental state, but still at 83% performance reliability on the physical level which isn't bad. It sees Gurathin and Ratthi next to a maintenance panel by the gate, that reads "Manual Release" in many languages.
I didn’t even know they had those in ports. I’m a SecUnit, not an engineer.(1)
MB's knee is somewhat less reliable, so the humans help it to the shuttle, where Mensah ensures that it gets in before she does. MB finds it hard to override its security programming, but obeys, and it becomes clear Pin-Lee was ready on the controls when they take off immediately when Mensah says they're clear of the hatch.
Ratthi helps remove the shrapnel from MB's knee, even without MB explaining that putting it in the company's care again would mean a cubicle, not the MedSystem Ratthi himself would get.(2) Mensah, up with Pin-Lee, becomes furious that an anonymous corporate resident of the station has launched a ship on intercept course with them.
MB decides to stop messing around, and sends the covert keyword to the company ship. It takes a moment, but acknowledges, and MB gives loose detail that bonded clients are in "hazardous retrieval". The shuttle reports the gunship turning toward them, and MB watches the sensors. The gunship accelerates, and as MB wonders if they're communicating with the likely-Palisade ship, powers weapons.
Ratthi asks if MB is okay, to which it says, "Not really". The Palisade ship has slowed and changed course, as the shuttle is swallowed by the gunship as it passes through. Ratthi thinks the not really is physical, but Gurathin(3) cuts to the point: they can't take MB back.
Mensah storms through and gives Gurathin the weapon she'd been carrying. He stashes it in the emergency kit(4) as Mensah goes to stand between MB and the hatch, which opens to reveal an augmented human in power armour. Mensah physically blocks the opening and says this is her "personal security consultant."
A crew member peered out from behind the suit and said, “Dr. Mensah, SecUnits are not allowed aboard armed transports, unless there are special circumstances. It’s … too dangerous.” Mensah said, “These are special circumstances.” Her voice was icy. Nobody moved. The ship’s secured feed activity went frantic for seven minutes that felt like thirty. (And the way I experience time, that’s a lot.) (Yes, I started some media in background.)(5)
Eventually, the ship's combat supervisor comms in, and says they require a bond to guarantee the safety of the ship from the SecUnit, as an unsecured deadly weapon. MB is angry that they're talking about it that way.(6) It tells Mensah in the feed that it can take over the ship and the SecSystem, they don't have to pay the bond. Some of its desire to get vengeance on the company for treating it like a thing for so long leaks through, and Mensah turns, grips the collar of its jacket, and says "No."
Everyone goes quiet. MB realizes it needs to see Mensah's face for itself, so it stops looking through the cameras, and turns its head down to her. She's angry and tired beyond tired, just the way it feels. It tells her in the feed that she has no idea what it is. She responds that she knows it's scared, and hurt, and needs to calm down so they can get through this alive. It says it is calm, and needs to be, to take over a gunship.
Mensah’s eyes narrowed. Security consultants don’t get their clients into unnecessary pitched battles for control of their rescue ship. She added, Because that would be stupid. She wasn’t afraid of me. And it hit me that I didn’t want that to change. She had just been through a traumatic experience, and I was making it worse. Something was overwhelming me, and it wasn’t the familiar wave of not-caring.(7) Fine, I sent. I sounded sulky, because I was sulky.
Aloud, Mensah says good, and asks Pin-Lee if they have the money for the absurd bond. She waves hard currency cards, and says if that's not enough, she can transmit an authorization. Mensah turns around, and the crew, having just watched her face down a rogue SecUnit, in person, stare. Mensah says, since they're bonded clients, can they now come aboard to settle the bill?
There was a hesitation, then the comm said, “Please come aboard, Dr. Mensah.”(8)
Murderbot's first action in the passenger seating area they're led to is to sit on the bench, an action heretofore forbidden to it on company property. The humans don't notice, but it feels good.(9) The ship's crew are outside the compartment. MB confirms it has access to the SecSystem, no matter what the humans believe. It hears one of the ship crew say SecUnits really do look human out of their armour, and MB makes an obscene gesture in their direction. Gurathin makes a choked noise when he sees it.(10)
Mensah finishes looking over the agreement and gives it her okay, then walks over to MB, and says quietly that she's furious with it. Ratthi tries to excuse himself, far more afraid of Mensah's ire than he ever was of MB.
MB, on the other hand, tells Mensah she should sit down and tell the crew she needs "the MedSystem's Retrieved Client Trauma Evaluation protocol", at which point Gurathin interrupts to agree, followed by Ratthi and Pin-Lee. Mensah, however, refuses to be distracted and says MB stayed behind knowing it would be killed. MB protests, they wouldn't let it through, it told PortSec to let Mensah through and it would stay. She asks if that's really why it stayed.
I could have lied. I didn’t want to. “Mostly,” I said. I looked at her with my actual eyes again. “I wanted to win.” Ratthi, Gurathin, and Pin-Lee all watched me. The company crew incompetently pretended not to try to eavesdrop. Dr. Mensah’s expression softened, just around the edges. Ratthi said, “Why did you come through, then, when Gurathin got the barrier open?” “Because that last one was a Combat SecUnit and it was going to tear me apart. That’s not winning.” I wish I knew what winning was.(11) And once I started telling the truth, it was hard to stop. “I don’t want to be here.”
Pin-Lee sits next to Ratthi and says one wormhole jump, then they rendezvous with a Preservation ship and head back. She doesn't like this ship either. MB asks what's next after that. Mensah says they need to talk about that, once they're not being recorded.
Unfortunately, that's as far as she gets before MB's entire attention is drawn by the bot pilot. The hostile ship was still tracking, and the SecSystem just deflected a connection attempt, but… too late, MB realizes they sent an attack on the feed. It tells them, and cuts Mensah's implant and puts a wall on Gurathin's internal augments, as Pin-Lee and Ratthi remove their interfaces from their ears.
MB starts throwing walls over any humans it sees who fall victim to what's going on, since SecSystem is busy fighting it. Palisade must have obtained a set of override codes, like the ones MB used on the drones at Milu and TRH. Once connected, they sent something that makes the ship try to kill the humans aboard.
Switching between them and us pronoun sets,(12) MB describes the events occurring across the ship, figures out how it might help. It takes over the ship, the way Art took over it and the bot pilots at RaviHyral, even though it doesn't have Art's mental capacity.(13) Murderbot becomes the ship, and tries to figure out how to contain it, and further, why GrayCris is doing it this way.
It reactivates its body, and asks Mensah why she thinks GrayCris might be doing this. A crew member suggests MB is taking over, but Mensah tells them to shut up, and tells MB they think it's got the information from Milu, and want it destroyed. MB wonders if it might have to do with the memory clip it stole from Wilken and Gerth, as well, with their records of employment.
MB tells them to go manually disengage the shuttle they came in, and when they agree, it shuts its body down again, and becomes the ship. It didn't make a copy of the data from Milu, but it still has some of it in its compressed memory. Enough, perhaps, to look like a honeypot. It fakes copying the data into the shuttle to make an escape. The attacking code transfers itself to the shuttle.
Three things happened at once: (1) ShuttleSecSystem walled the shuttle’s comm system. (2) Bot pilot deleted its own comm system codes and I overloaded and fused its hardware. (3) My body told Dr. Mensah and Pin-Lee, “Now.”
The humans disengage the shuttle, isolating the attacking code. The gunship's systems start to reassert themselves, and the bot pilot confirms with the captain to fire and destroy the shuttle.
Murderbot pulls its code, its personality, back together and into its body. It feels odd, but manages to tell Mensah and Pin-Lee they're clear. As the humans start celebrating, though…
I felt weird. Very weird. Very bad. Performance reliability at 45 percent and dropping. Catastrophic failure— I felt my body crumple, but I didn’t feel myself hit the deck.
=====
(1) I'm genuinely surprised it took me this long to find so explicit a Star Trek reference. Either I'm off my game, or Wells had far more self-control than I would. (2) I'm not suggesting we should all endeavour to be Ratthi, but I do think we could stand to help first and ask questions later more often as a society, or even as a planetwide species built on community and mutual aid. (Don't make me break out the amateur anthropology or we'll be here all day.) (3) See, I don't think Gurathin would've figured it out if he didn't also care, at least a little, about Murderbot. If nothing else, it might be in the same way MB cares about him: reluctantly, but firmly. They probably have a lot in common. (4) Is that where it came from initially, or just a convenient place to get it out of sight? This is a company shuttle, not a personal one, so it's not like they're likely to come back for it. (5) Never change, friend-shaped robo-pal. (6) MB has finally learned that it is a person, it is allowed to be a person, nobody should ever have prevented it from being a person, and who can blame it for not wanting to go back? For wanting a little revenge? (7) One might even guess that it's entirely the opposite of not caring. Maybe caring almost too much to be able to acknowledge. (8) This line can be read so many different ways. Are they being pleasant? Are they being gruff? Is it a suggestion that they get the bond to cover liability ASAP, or an attempt not to antagonize clients? And how the reader, how you or I interpret this line affects the whole tone of the scene. (9) When small rebellion is all you can get, you take it. (10) See, SEE, nobody else notices, but Gurathin is paying attention, and laughing at MB's… well it's not a joke per se, but its actions that deserve a solidarity chuckle. (11) Sometimes winning is survival, but it's hard to see it that way. (12) At least, that's how I'm reading the sequence. MB not quite able to disengage itself from the "us" of it, either out of habit or out of the empathy it's built since it started learning how to person, or both. (13) This is where I start to Feel Things, knowing the end of the chapter, and the end of the book.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot diaries#exit strategy#murderbot#secunit#ayda mensah#ratthi#pin-lee#gurathin
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hey echo, i'm really relieved you made it through the weekend and i'm so excited for your merfolk costume! i've always loved swimming and mer and, since becoming a wheelchair user myself, i've found imagery of mers using mobility aids creatively inspiring. i may have to try my hand at crocheting an eel or shark tail blanket for halloween
what i'm really writing in to say is that i had surgery a few weeks ago, intersex reconstructive surgery (stage one) under the "guise" of gender affirming surgery (for insurance purposes!) and i haven't been able to use my wheelchair at all during recovery. the farthest i can walk is to-from the restroom, but that's very dangerous, painful, and exhausting. i may need a revision to allow me to ever comfortably and safely use my chair again - this is, in part, the fault of my surgeons for not also consulting with a durable medical equipment specialist pre-op/providing one for me to consult with, but i also failed to opt out of a choice that was bundled into the surgical package normally and, for me, is FULLY cosmetic and not essential to function.
i'm really upset with myself for making the best choice for my health and mobility, and upset with my surgeons for not properly advising me as a patient. this is fixable however, i just... have to tolerate a reduced quality of life, reduced mobility, increased risk to my health, and of course the expected risks of a person with severe rheumatoid arthritis undergoing further surgery. i talk to my surgeons this week about revision! however, i was wondering if you had any advice for dealing with... feeling so frustrated with yourself over things like this? it is so, so unlike me to make such an impactfully negative choice regarding my health and mobility, and i can't help but feel stupid. my therapist (who is a trans woman herself) is very sympathetic, but isn't chronically ill, and doesn't fully grasp how impactful this is. i can't even go outside... ):
thank you so much echo, sending you all my love
That sounds like you’re going through a lot and that it’s very raw and emotional right now, which is totally understandable.
Every disabled person I know has made decisions that have harmed them. And I really mean everyone. Sometimes we don’t know what the consequences will be, sometimes it feels like the benefits will outweigh the risks, sometimes we’re pressured into making the decision that ultimately hurts us, sometimes we don’t realise how bad it will be, there’s so many reasons
I’ve certainly done it – in small ways that lead to temporary flares and in big ways that have permanently changed my body. I’ve also made decisions that could have impacted me really badly and came away, by pure luck, without anything bad happening.
I definitely have regrets over some of those choices, but I have gotten to the point where I don’t hate my past self for making them. I hope that with time you can get there too
Absolutely nobody goes through life without making choices they later regret. As disabled people we’re unlucky that a lot of our choices have higher stakes than non disabled people, but we’re still human and we can’t expect to be perfect and always get things right. And that’s okay
It doesn’t sound to me like you chose to be unable to use your wheelchair, it sounds like you chose to undergo surgery you thought would improve your life in different ways. A lot of people – most likely me included – would make that same choice. And I’m sure there are many possible worlds where you made the same choice and could still use your wheelchair safely.
I know (albeit through very different circumstances) how devastating it is to be without a wheelchair for longer periods with no clear end in sight and I offer you all the sympathy I can. I hope you can find things that bring you comfort and interest in less than ideal circumstances. I don’t know if you want advice about coping with being unable to get out, so I won’t offer any here but I’m happy to share what helped me if you ever want to know.
I wish you all the best with recovery and whatever your next steps are – whether they include revision or not.
On a less serious note I would absolutely love to see a crocheted eel or shark tail if you make one! They both sound amazing! (Or any craft projects – I love seeing what people create)
I’m the same with being inspired by how much disability comes into the stories of merfolk – chronic pain, speech loss and mobility aid use are so tied up in them that there’s so much room for disabled imagination. (And also queer imagination!)
That’s definitely a huge part of why it’s my pride outfit, and I’m really looking forward to wearing it out. I got a rainbow bubble machine today to add some extra fun to it all!
Sending you so much love in return 💜
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AU ; YOU SENT ME BACK TO WHERE I ROAM (DND/BG3)
percy’s father is a scholar, and her mother is the daughter of a popular tavern-owner. though both are human, percy was born with pink skin, a tail, and the beginnings of horns—a tiefling. when she was a child, they split, and margaret remarried to a merchant while louis married a widowed minor noblewoman. there was almost immediately tension between persephone and her stepmother, but with margaret and her new husband on the road, there was no escape for the young girl.
from a young age, she also possessed the ability to see the dead. her father and her stepmother sought the opinion of multiple experts to figure out the reason for both that & her devilish appearance, but nobody was sure. the priests and doctors consulted on the matter seemed to think it was some ancient familial deal come back to haunt the bloodline. louis’s new wife blamed margaret’s ancestors, and treated percy’s abilities with fear. she pushed for percy to act normal, to make herself small and pleasant—all framed as being for percy's own good. her inherent abilities went untrained, her horns filed down (they never did grow back), and still her stepmother was unappeased. the abuse took its toll, and percy fled for bard training as soon as her father allowed her.
once among peers, she began to explore her own abilities, and she became almost a rebel. she would slip out with classmates to explore the rougher sides of town. eventually, she met a young man there named felix, a few years older than her, who took her under his wing and taught her how to be a rogue. percy fell for him quickly and felix returned her affections, showering her with affection and telling her how much he loved her. she thought they would be together forever, but one day felix broke the news: he was a nobleman's son, and his father was demanding he come home and get married. percy, naive, begged him to tell his father that he loved her. felix simply said look at yourself, percy. he'd never allow it. and even if he did, the others would never accpet you. or us
felix wanted her to remain his mistress, but percy, heartbroken and betrayed, left without another word. her heartbreak only increased when she discovered she was pregnant with felix’s child. knowing she would be disowned, the terrified young woman sought the help of one of her bard mentors, a man named maxwell finch. max, ever a father figure to her, happily took both her and her soon-to-be child under his wing. once the babe, a tiefling girl named laura, was weaned, percy set out on her own as a traveling bard. her daughter remains with max, where she is safe.
now 27, she makes money from performing in taverns—sometimes music, but often stories or poems—and takes commissions to compose poetry for nobles and royalty. what extra money she has, she spends on gifts to send back home to her daughter.
alternate — baldur's gate. the only difference from her normal dnd verse is that she was captured by mind flayers & tadpoled. i'll write her either as tav or as a companion, depending on plotting.
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We FINALLY got approved for our new apartment, so that's a massive weight off my shoulders. Our current leasing office has been blowing us off for the last two weeks that I've been trying to get them to email the other leasing office back, and yesterday was the last straw when they told me to call them back at 5:30, I did (ten times to be exact), they didn't answer, so I RAN THREE BLOCKS TO THEM only to find they'd closed early. I ended up calling my partner while they're on vacation with their mom crying about it, and they finally managed to get it sorted out themselves because my mother in law is basically our Attack Karen.
It's worth noting; for the last year, my partner and I have been dealing with a leasing company that is comprised of, to put it politely, a bunch of slumlords.
Here's a list of all that's happened so far, in chronological order:
When we applied (paying a collective $200 for the applications, $50 for each of us and our guarantors), our applications sat in limbo for two months, and it wasn't until I called and called and happened to run into the leasing manager while the office was closed that we got some answers.
The REASON why our applications were in limbo was because the cunt we handed our papers in to basically quit without notice and disappeared without putting our info into the computer system. The leasing office was unable to locate the papers. You know, the ones that had ALL OUR SSNs ON THEM???
In the time that our applications were in limbo, the rent had jumped from $530 per person to $645. Thankfully we had screenshots from when we applied and they sort of* gave us the place at the previously listed price. That asterisk will come in handy later.
We were told that we were to hand our keys in at 10pm on our move out date, only to be informed THE DAY OF that it was actually going to be 6pm or we would each have to pay a FULL MONTH'S RENT for the extra time spent there, leaving us to scramble. Thankfully one of the leasing consultants gave us her personal number and address for us to drop the keys off on her porch, god bless her. (We would then find out that nobody would move into that apartment for more than a month.)
When we applied, we were originally told our apartment would not be available until August 15th. The day we moved out, the move-in date suddenly turned into August 25th, leaving us homeless for that time and causing unnecessary tension within the household we had kindly been allowed to stay in because suddenly two weeks was closer to a FULL MONTH (thank you so much to my buddy Jazz and their roommates by the way y'all were amazing and so kind and made us feel human during the whole ordeal).
We were also told that they would not prorate. So we had to pay two full month's rent BACK TO BACK. A full month... for six days.
We were told that they would get us a downstairs apartment, only for us to find out a week before moving in that it was upstairs, leaving two disabled individuals scrambling to figure out how we were going to move all our furniture upstairs on a narrow concrete pathway. It was dangerous, and I had to call in several times due to pain afterwards, nearly costing me my job later on.
When we finally got to the "renovated" apartment, it was really demoralizing. It was smaller than what was listed by nearly 200 square feet (we were told 500... it's actually 314). Everything was filthy, nothing had been cleaned. Like. The floors would make our socks BLACK. The trim was coming away from the walls and floors in several places. It was crawling with baby german roaches, and none of the appliances were caulked properly, so they could just live in the gaps just fine no matter how much we cleaned. It reeked of old food, which we later found out was because the intake vents for our neighbors behind us were connected, and directly above the stove. Several cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom were missing doors. We had no smoke alarms. The tub was painted with just regular acrylic paint, which promptly started to peel the moment we tried to clean the tub. The bedroom doors are on the hinges crooked. My ceiling fan was improperly installed, so our friend had to help me fix it, during which we had to purchase our own supplies because ALL THE SCREWS WERE STRIPPED. We also did not have an oven, and when we were told we would have it by the next day, we ended up having to wait a MONTH. So we had to buy nothing but microwave meals for that time.
They also blatantly lied to us about the price of our apartment. Remember that asterisk? Yeah, turns out rent was NOT going to be $530, it was going to be $553, because they "failed to inform" us that the price for trash, pest control, and renter's insurance was not included in the price.
They also "failed to inform" us that after December, utilities would not be included! :)
In the year that we have lived here, we had to deal with our AC being broken more than it worked... which is a big deal considering this is Texas. They're also on a chiller/boiler system, which means they shut the AC off entirely during the winter, starting in late October... you know, when it's still getting up to 80°F during the day. We have also had to deal with noise from both frat parties and the constant construction RIGHT IN OUR PARKING LOT (during which we were trapped in our parking space several times)... and we had to keep our windows open during peak allergy season in our region, so we were sick constantly. Our air filters were never changed, and when they finally were, we still get thick dust coming out of the vents. I wake up covered in it and have to comb it out of my hair in the mornings. At one point they shut the hot water off for 10 days in the dead of winter because of a gas leak, and our only compensation was a pizza... which was cold by the time we got it. My partner and I had to take ice cold showers in the dead of winter while we were both sick and the water was so cold it would give us heart palpitations.
Speaking of gas leaks, the place reeks of gas pretty much constantly. We know it's not from our apartment specifically, but because all the vents are connected, we still get the smell. We're pretty sure we've had constant low-grade carbon monoxide poisoning all this time, because our psychosis has been a lot worse.
And to top it all off, there was this two week long clusterfuck where they would just refuse to take care of any of this application business. I had to call them EVERY DAY for two weeks, and they still never got it figured out. Our next leasing office finally just pulled some strings and accepted us because they felt so sorry for what we'd been through.
So yeah, that's been our situation the last year. If I've seemed off, that's why! Coupled with working at Walgreens, which is content to fuck their employees over, things have been... not great.
Our next place is going to be $1,165 (we're FINALLY on a joint lease!) For 840 square feet! We'll be paying nearly the same price we were collectively paying before for more than double the size, in a much quieter and safer area. I'm so excited, and I really hope this is the start of a new chapter, because God... I'm so tired.
Anyway, if you live in Denton, do NOT rent from Denton Student Apartments. You will suffer needlessly.
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@starsdescent said:
Mona stretches at her desk, arms and legs fully extended, a contented little noise emitting from her throat before she tips her head back to call out to Tetsuya, who is taking stock of their current food supplies. ❝ — Don't forget to add carrots to our list ! ❞ One might be tempted to call it a grocery list, but should it be called such if they're foraging? No, not truly. Surely he understands what she meant anyway: they need carrots.
He finds himself preoccupied with the most mundane of affairs... taking stock of inventory when it pertains to groceries and the tiniest of necessities for this humble abode. Not so much for himself no, but because the mess of a roommate he lives with can not be bothered to do it herself and if she were to do it herself he's no doubt she will not do it properly and will most definitely be forgetting about certain items worth jotting down on this list. He got done jotting down the toiletries and has moved on with taking stock of the food, opening up her refrigerator and to nobody's surprise it is almost completely empty aside from the usual lettuce, about two eggs, and a single tomato. Ugh... she is quite honestly ridiculous. He isn't even going to bother consulting with her what should be brought, he might as well buy the whole damn grocery store at this point. Does she not try to take care of herself or what? Tetsuya closes the refrigerator and begins to pace aimlessly away into the living room as he writes down what he would need to make sure she makes it through at least half the month before the need for groceries comes up again. He need not worry about such things, he does not need any of such, like food, he can live without. Tetsuya only indulges in so out of the whim of indulging, not necessity. He also did not fail to notice in his time with her that she's rather cheap, always going for the least expensive options, such as her razors for example... which she needs because she's out of them.
As he paces into the living room he hears her call out from her room where she's seemingly working on her next upcoming article piece for The Steambird from Fontaine. Tetsuya slips the quill he's been using to write over his ear, resting a hand on his hip and expelling a sigh. He need not take a look at his list to know he already jotted that down, but he does so anyway and surely enough there it is: Carrots. She's also the false impression that they're going to go out and hunt for all of these things, at least the food portion of the list. As if they're cavepeople, this woman is out of her mind. For the sake of savings, she would no doubt say, if she's so pressed about saving then perhaps she should actually try not to spend her mora on things she does not need and put her mortal needs over her wants first! He huffs through his nose and glances up the stairs before deciding to go see her now that he's pretty much done all the work already. The mora Tetsuya always gives her is enough for his half of the rent and bills, but given her inability to be a functional human being to this damned society his own habits of saving mora have gotten better not so much for his sake but hers to boot!
"You know Megistus," he addresses her, peeking through her wide open door to let himself be shown, "instead of ordering me around, perhaps you could have assisted me with compiling this list." He shrugs his shoulders, slipping the list into his pocket and removing the quill behind his ear. He manipulates the winds to allow the quill to get carried over back to her desk right in front of whatever it is that she's working on. "Just a thought." He claims as if an afterthought, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the frame of the door. He can respect her craft and her work, once she's zoned in on either of the two dragging her out is an impossibility, but can she at least bother with taking better care of herself? Why, it almost feels like he's doing it on her behalf. That is most unbecoming and honestly quite to be one of the most unattractive qualities she has-...
Unattractive qualities she has... ? Where the hell did that come from?
Does this mean there's certain qualities she does have that he finds... attractive?
(Tch... !) He furrows his brows. That is a most ridiculous thought, of course not! It's just a throwaway thought, no need to ponder too much on it, certainly.
"Come now, hurry up." He suddenly decides that being here is not the best idea so he'll await in the living room. He pushes himself off the door frame and turns on his heel to go back downstairs. "We're going to the shop, by the way," he lets her in on what they're actually going to do. There's no way in hell he's going to go out hunting with her like they're cavepeople when there's a store literally just a few minutes' walk away. "You smell like ink so do something about that before we're off." Just a word of advice.
#starsdescent#inquiries.#in character.#act iii: wanderer.#the angry malewife tetsuya agenda thrives awraxa
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Why MorePeople in Dubai Are Choosing Professional Dry Cleaner Services
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Can I trust dry cleaners with my valuable designer clothes?
Yes, absolutely! Reputable dry cleaners employ experienced staff trained in handling luxury textiles carefully. Before handing over pricey apparel, discuss concerns with the provider, asking about qualifications, insurance policies, and previous experience dealing with similar materials.
Is dry cleaning bad for the environment?
Traditional dry cleaning processes used harsh chemicals called Perc (perchloroethylene), which posed health risks and contributed significantly to pollution. Fortunately, most contemporary providers switched to greener alternatives, minimizing ecological impact.
How often should I get my suits dry cleaned?
Ideally, send your suit to the cleaners once every four wears, assuming average use. Of course, heavier perspiration or food/drink accidents warrant immediate attention.
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A lot of people around here get angry at the very notion that Aziraphale's decision reflects poorly on him, but the truth of the matter is, they kinda do.
That doesn't mean Aziraphale isn't a well-meaning, good person or that we all have to give him hate for it. It just means he's a flawed, complex character with complex motivations. There's a HUGE difference between acknowledging a character did something wrong but allowing it makes perfect sense for them to do so given their past/history AND refusing to admit they've done anything wrong at all.
I mean, I get it, people love Micheal Sheen (who wouldn't?) and they love Aziraphale. I love him, too. But let's be honest here, Aziraphale still has A LOT of character development to do before he can have an healthy relationship with Crowley, because he clearly believes some part of Crowley's identity (the fact he's a demon) is an institutional mistake that needs fixing. You can't love someone for who they are but insist, even after having known them for 6000 years, that some part of them is wrong/inferior/not as it should be.
I've seen some people in the fandom going around saying Crowley is the one who broke Aziraphale's heart because he doesn't understand and that Aziraphale is doing this for him and loves him like he his and I'm sorry, but no.
Also, that's some damn heavy shit. There's just so much to unpack I don't even know where to start. Throughout the season, Aziraphale 1) takes Crowley for granted 2) refuses to meet him half-way 3) tries to change him (the whole car thing is a metaphor if I've ever seen one) 4) subvert other character's agency AND 5) makes important decisions for other people, including Crowley, without asking them what they want or getting to know them first. No matter how well-intentioned he is, those are NOT healthy patterns, and pretending there is nothing problematic about his behavior because his intentions are pure is fucked up, y'all. Saying Crowley is in the wrong for having some self-respect, for refusing to change everything he his on a whim, for refusing to become his significant other's 'second-in-command' (YEAH) and going back to a side who's treated him unfairly to please his partner, is fucked up. Nobody should have to put up with any of this in a healthy relationship.
Let me put it this way. If your bestie told you her long-time crush/partner has just gotten an unexpected (and frankly somewhat undeserved) promotion. That she wants your bestie to move to Australia with her on the spot and become her 'second in command' in an organization who's rejected and abused your bestie in the past and left her with severe unresolved trauma. That your bestie's partner accepted the job WITHOUT consulting with your bestie first, intends to go to Australia no matter how your bestie feels about it because 'it's the right thing to do' and is ready to break up with your bestie over it, you sure as HELL wouldn't be okay with it because your bestie's partner 'is a cinnamon roll' and works for OXFAM.
More to the point, Good Omens has always been a critique of the whole idea of Good vs Evil as a system of belief. Saying that Aziraphale is misunderstood and has done nothing wrong because he's on the side of Good and wants to reform Heavens, to my mind, shows you don't understand the message at the core of GO. It's not about picturing Aziraphale as a bad guy for wanting to reform Heavens. It's about bemoaning the fact that Aziraphale, for all his 6000 years on Earth, still doesn't get that nothing is quite so clear cut as Good and Evil.
if you take "I can make a difference" at face value you simply must also consider "you're the bad guys.” like they are both vital aspects of aziraphale's decision. the problem is not just aziraphale's attempt to lead a corrupt system, it is also his continued belief in the superiority of heaven and angels over hell and demons. that's why crowley was so hurt. it's not just a miscommunication, or a disagreement on the practicalities of changing hearts and minds in heaven--it is a fundamental misunderstanding of morality and of crowley as a person. if crowley had asked aziraphale to come to hell to help fix it and protect the earth, he would not have gone. he says so. it’s not just about safety, or reform. it is about being Good.
and all of this happens because aziraphale is not just motivated by fear and love: he is also motivated by shame. he is insecure in his identity as an angel and a Good Guy, and both his alienation from heaven and his relationship with crowley have always aggravated this insecurity. it’s why shax’s mockery hit him so hard, and why he’s so susceptible to manipulation from the metatron. he desperately wants to be taken seriously and treated with respect and to have power and be an uncomplicated Good Guy, and that is just as much of a motivating factor in his decision as his desire to protect humanity and crowley.
and re: “appoint you to be an angel”: I know people want to insist that aziraphale has never wanted to change anything about crowley, but I’m sorry, I just don’t think that’s true. over and over in season 2 aziraphale demonstrates a desire to sand the rough edges off people and things for the sake of the Greater Good, without consideration for the free will or complex emotions of others. obviously this tendency culminates in the ball, where he exerts control over all of the humans to make everything perfect for maggie and nina, and in doing so, infringes on their autonomy and nina’s (crowley’s narrative mirror!) capacity to feel her own anger and sadness. and he has never liked that crowley is a demon. in his mind, the problem has always been that crowley was put in the wrong category, not that the entire system of dividing people and angels into Good and Bad is ridiculous. that’s the exact lesson he needs to learn.
and yes, his intentions are good, absolutely. I don’t think aziraphale ever acts out of malice, and I do think he genuinely wants the best for the people around him, particularly crowley. after all, if crowley is accepted as an angel again, as aziraphale has always secretly considered him to be, their relationship can (in his mind) finally stop being so fraught with danger and conflict. (the other side of that, of course, is that aziraphale can also stop being so ashamed for loving someone who is supposed to be Bad, and everything in his life will make sense again, the way it hasn’t since he met that star maker who got so upset about god’s plan.)
but that’s not who crowley is, and it never has been. even before he fell, crowley’s recklessness and relentless questions made aziraphale uncomfortable. their relationship has never been safe or easy, and in wanting to make it so, aziraphale is demonstrating a desire to change the parts of crowley that led to his fall, whether he intends to or not.
I’m rambling, but the point is: the insistence on reframing this moment as a purely selfless, calculated, self-sacrificing decision by aziraphale to protect crowley and the world ignores the uglier parts of the things he said in order to make their eventual reconciliation less complicated, and it’s really frustrating to me. crowley is in fact right to be upset by what he said, and it’s not just a misunderstanding that can be fixed with aziraphale saying “I was only trying to protect you!” and another kiss. it’s a culmination of all of the double think aziraphale has been doing in order to preserve his vision of heaven as The Source Of Truth And Light And Good since before the beginning of time, and it’s time for him to finally unpack it.
(and because every post on the final fifteen needs a disclaimer: aziraphale is trying his best and has an incredible amount of love in his heart and wants so badly to do good and ALSO the things he says, does, and believes can be incredibly hurtful and destructive. all of these things can be true.)
#THANK YOU!!!!#yes#Aziraphale still has A LOT of character development to do before he can have an healthy relationship with Crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#good omens#good omens 2#rant post
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22!
if you could write your own TV show, what would it be like?
NONNYYYYY you just came for my heart here!!! i have A LOT of tv show ideas! I’m just gonna spit one out:
ensemble comedy set in a chain coffee store. the employees are diverse and so is the clientele, and mostly we get to see regular people trying to make enough money to survive at a kinda shitty customer service job. there are some custies who are full cast members: person who works from the cafe but nobody can exactly tell what they do (a regular running gag is that someone thinks they’ve figured it out and then that theory is disproven); unhoused person who isn’t treated as a joke or a menace, but a full human being; student/single parent.
The staff is comprised of 5 people: manager (a young up-and-comer who was transferred in when the last manager abruptly quit). 3 employees per shift, sometimes there��s overlap when they come in for shift change. 1) older, put upon person who feels they should’ve been promoted (they weren’t bc they clearly are NOT a good manager! but you really can’t tell them that); 2) 20-something coffee snob who would rather be doing Real Coffee Work but has settled for a barista job; 3) roommate of the coffee snob who actually doesn’t drink coffee and actively discourages ppl from buying it, 4) young person working afterschool and weekends, enthusiastic and bubbly; 5) college student who seems to be constantly changing majors-- very overtly Weird in a performative way.
The rest is behind a cut because I really went for it!
I would want it cast genderblind, basically, but with an eye toward a cast that had cis and trans women and men of different races-- essentially what it looks like when you actually go into a lot of chain coffee shops, especially in cities.
The manager seems to love corporate but actually feels dragged into it-- their relative is one of the higher ups and expects manager to make the place succeed no matter what. What the manager actually wants is to escape the corporate life, but they feel trapped initially and (after s1) personally invested in the shop. Their arc is coming to a place of being able to shift into doing what they want to without regret-- they’d rather teach, and figure out a way to go to school and eventually do that instead.
Older employee is gay and not out at work, fearing corporate retribution. A couple other employees learn they’re gay and support them without outing them. Their arc is coming to a place of trusting themselves and stepping back from needing so much control. They actually end up taking over for the manager.
Coffee snob actually is a coffee snob, but figures out that maybe they also like the people aspect of things too? Ends up connecting with the unhoused person and they work together on a lot of personal issues with addiction that have hurt them in different ways. Their arc is figuring out how to let go of the need to be impressive and actually listen.
Roommate goes through a lot of phases and causes throughout the show, seemingly a ‘flavor of the week’ activist until they find the thing they truly care about and actually turn out to have a laser focus on it. They spend a lot of time trying to figure out the mysterious customer’s job. In the end it’s related to what they want to do and the two of them end up helping one another (possible romance)
Young person is actually working to support their family, and beneath their bubbly exterior is a lot of emotion and fear. They are one of the ppl who learns about the older gay employee. Throughout the show they learn when and how to ask for help and to not always keep up that happy mask when things are hard. They end up being recommended for a job with corporate that gives them a much higher salary and makes supporting their family a lot easier.
Person constantly changing majors/the quirky one observes the college student and often encourages them to seek out “The Truth” until it’s revealed that the student is a single parent and school is very much career driven for them. Quirky ends up helping out with childcare during an emergency, and really bonds with the kid, who’s also kinda quirky. Possible romance with the single parent. Quirky is still a weirdo, but they’re a responsible weirdo who ended up letting go of the safety blanket that was their constantly shifting major.
Thirty minute episodes with seasonal arcs as well as the longterm character arcs and single ep plots. A little soapy, sometimes, but not overly so.
Is anyone still reading? I went OFF, soz.
#tv asks#television#tv ideas#nobody is allowed to make this without me consulting#bc it's IMPERATIVE that several of these characters are queer and trans#and i don't trust anyone else to do that lmao#Anonymous#answers
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spirit workers as monarchs
It helps to conceptualize yourself as a monarch of your kingdom. The kingdom is your life. You make the rules you want, you raise your walls, dig your motes, and employ your advisors. Your advisors can have input, but accepting it is always up to you. Even if your advisor is a god - you're the one who makes the final choices.
If visiting dignitaries arrive with unwelcome demands, show them the door. "Someone's arrived demanding kingly treatment, but I can't afford to give it to them right now - what do I do?"
"Someone's arrived and they want more input in how I run my kingdom than I'm comfortable with - what do I do?"
Well, honestly ---- do whatever you damn well please. It can be hard to put your foot down and change trajectories in any relationships, but you have the authority to do so if you choose.
Your court can have many walls. Not all spirits that live in (or visit) your keep need to be close to you. You might conceptualize that you have a throne/war counsel room, a keep where you live your day-to-day life, and an extended kingdom within which many people you care about reside.
Having a spirit living in the fields on the outskirts of your kingdom doesn't mean they should automatically be allowed into your throne room.
Having a spirit in the keep where you live your day-to-day life doesn't mean they need to be a part of your advisory counsel. You choose the level of contact you have with your court.
Diplomacy matters. "I'm worried about setting boundaries, what if it really bothers my spirits?" Well, you should probably ask them and hash it out.
Generally speaking, ultimatums and hard boundaries aren't a great first reaction. It's perfectly fine for spirits to have requests for us - they have their own wants and needs, after all.
But hey - if a spirit is being fucking weird, don't let me dissuade you from putting your foot down. Make the call and set the rules.
It's pretty handy to know magic. So... we've got a metaphor worked up here. You're the ruler, your life is the kingdom, etc. Let's say you want to banish a spirit from your inner court to your outer life so that you can consult your oracle without interference.
How do you do that?
With magic, of course.
It suits any spirit worker to understand the basics of banishing, binding, warding, and cleansing. It's just the basics of setting rules that count and tidying up after company.
Kind of the shitty part is that the buck stops with you, though. In other terms, if you want to be a spirit worker, there's no one you really get to blame for your decisions or your actions but yourself.
Nobody but you can give you permission to act.
Nobody but you can tell you how to act.
A god can be breathing down your neck and telling you what you totally have to do and you can flip that bastard off and do a backflip off a cliff into the next void of chaos.
You can do whatever you want. That's the liberation and terror of magic. No matter what, the next step is up to you.
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The Neverending Story, Chapter 6 - The Three Magic Gates
(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Neverending Story, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)
In which we get a tantalizing glimpse of something heretofore only hinted.
Falkor(1) was still sound asleep when Engywook brought Atreyu back to the gnomes' cave.
Urgl has laid out a small feast(2) to help Atreyu rebuild his strength. Atreyu protests that there's not time to sit back and eat, but Urgl insists, and Engywook says they have matters to discuss. Throughout the chapter, Engywook is dismissive of his wife's abilities and strengths.
Bastian grows hungry, eats the rest of his sandwich and his apple, then realizes that was his last meal and tries not to think too hard about the logistics of the situation.
Engywook suggests Atreyu ask him questions about the Oracle, so that he doesn't just start rambling, but then tells Atreyu to start with something easier when he asks who or what Uyulala is. Atreyu and Engywook discuss the mechanics of entry to the Oracle.
The sphinxes' eyes radiate all the questions of the world, so only when they close their eyes can one proceed past that point where their eyes meet(3) and through the stone Great Riddle Gate, although they have admitted fools and the treacherous, as well as the brave and wise, and seem to have no preference for either serious reasons or flippant ones for consulting the Oracle in the first place.
Bastian hears the clock strike three, and wonders if his father has realized he's not coming home, has called the police to start a search, where they might look if he did. He paces around the attic for a bit to calm his nerves, and is startled by his reflection in a huge old mirror. He looks at himself for a moment, then says "No!" and sits back down with the book as it grows darker.(4)
Engywook and Atreyu continue discussing the path, and the second gate, the Magic Mirror gate, which is both and neither open and closed. It's a mirror that shows your innermost self, which you have to face and walk into to proceed.
Then there's the third gate, the No-Key Gate, which is just closed, with no knob and no keyhole. Engywook's theory is that it's made of Fantastican selenium(5) which responds to the will of willful creatures. He thinks that if one can forget their purpose, can come to want nothing, they may pass and speak to Uyulala.
Atreyu is worried that he won't be able to make it through all three gates, and asks again who Uyulala is. Engywook says nobody who's made it has ever told him, and asks Atreyu if he'll promise to tell what he finds beyond the No-Key Gate. Atreyu, cleverly, deduces that if nobody has told Engywook, there must be a reason, and he cannot promise without knowing why it might not work.
At this, Engywook gets angry at Atreyu, saying all he gets for his life's work is ingratitude. He goes back into the gnomes' home cave and slams the door. Urgl asks Atreyu to pay Engywook no mind, he's just set himself up for disappointment, looking for such an answer as he does. Atreyu says of course, and thanks Urgl, and asks her to pass on his deepest gratitude to Engywook. He says if it's allowed, he will try to tell if he comes back. Urgl quietly wishes him luck as he walks toward the first gate, saying he'll need lots of it.
Atreyu, for his part, feels fear as he approaches the sphinxes, though it doesn't stop his course. It grows, and grows, and just as he's about to feel he can't go on, he feels it lift, and knows he will never fear again.(6) Somehow, the sphinxes have let him pass.
He sees the Magic Mirror gate, and when he walks up, he sees an image that very much resembles Bastian's hideaway.
Bastian, reading this, freaks out a little, and then tells himself to pull it together, and keeps reading, thinking it would be wonderful if they had heard of him in Fantastica.(7)
A faint smile of astonishment played over Atreyu's lips as he passed into the mirror image -- he was rather surprised that he was succeeding so easily in something that others had found insuperably(8) difficult. But on the way through he felt a strange, prickly shudder. He had no suspicion of what had really happened to him. For when he emerged on the far side of the Magic Mirror Gate, he had lost all memory of himself, of his past life, aims, and purposes. He had forgotten the Great Quest that had brought him there, and he didn't even know his own name. He was like a newborn child.
Baby-Brain-Atreyu has forgotten why he should go through the No-Key Gate, but in seeing it, he becomes fascinated with it. He considers leaving, for which Bastian yells at him not to, but then returns to it with curiosity. As he strokes it, it opens a crack, and then more, and soon he sees a strange place filled with columns and staircases and pillars but with no roof, and he passes through the No-Key Gate, which closes behind him.
The clock strikes four. It's getting too dark for Bastian to read. He looks for a light switch, to no avail. But, he has matches in his pocket. He finds the candelabra he saw earlier, and lights all seven candles on it. By this light, he can read.(9)
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(1) Illuminated F sits atop what I assume to be the Magic Mirror Gate. (2) Pun fully intended, on my part and I'm sure on Ende's and Manheim's. (3) Not asking for much, are they? (4) It doesn't feel as dark in November as it does in January or February, for most of the Northern Hemisphere, but it is. (Source: I have some sort of seasonal affective thing, but it's literally tied to daylight hours, not to the winter season keeping me indoors, so it hits for about a month on either side of the solstices. I'm just coming out of the summer daylight-hour-induced insomnia as I write this, in fact.) (5) Selenium is the name of a real element in our world. It's not particularly special to us, we need trace amounts but it can be very toxic in even small quantities. One is left to wonder (me, I am "one") what's supposed to be so special about Fantastican selenium, or if it was just selected because it's an element most people aren't familiar with. (6) This is so often framed as a positive thing in children's literature. But, fear preserves, in moderation. Just like pain sometimes tells you the limit of what's safe after an injury. I just think it's rather reductive to suggest that all fear is negative and to be avoided. (7) So, on the one hand, I think I understand where this sentiment comes from, because who didn't want to be special as a kid? Hell, who doesn't want to be special as an adult? But a tiny, cynical part of me is still angry at the kids in stories who get to be when I didn't. It's not their fault, it's the fault of trends in children's literature that make what is escapism for some and cruel teasing of what could but does not exist for others. I had a bit of a troubled childhood, yes, why do you ask… (8) Insuperable - impossible to overcome. (9) Buddy, you could have just lit the one at a time, don't you understand conservation of resources?!
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