#no you dont deserve better. youre not better than this.

[gf2bellamy]

hii i love love love ur fics and was wondering if i could request an absolutely gut wrenching angst where spencer is sort of using gf!reader as a replacement of maeve? Its okay if you dont do it tho!! Hope u have a great day!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷

ghost — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: maeve is mentioned ( obviously ), spencer grieving , spencer feeling guilty a/n: hii tysm for your request !!! hope you like this and ngl i kinda broke my own heart writing this also guys lets pretend the narrative of john smith can be found in a small book store

The scent of old paper and ink surrounded you as you wandered through the bookstore. You and Spencer had always loved visiting bookstores together—it was one of your favorite things to do. There was something peaceful about it, about the way you both could spend hours getting lost in different worlds.

You had drifted toward a shelf that caught your interest when a particular book snagged your attention. Without thinking, you plucked it from its place and turned toward Spencer, who was just a few feet away.

“Spence, have you read this one?” you asked, holding it up for him to see.

The reaction was immediate. His entire expression shifted—his face fell, his body tensed. It was subtle, but you knew him well enough to catch it.

“What?” you asked, taken aback. “What’s wrong?”

Spencer opened his mouth as if to say something but hesitated. His gaze flickered back to the book in your hands, and for a moment, it seemed like he was somewhere else entirely, lost in a memory you couldn’t see.

Finally, he spoke, but his voice was quiet. “I—” He stopped again, then swallowed hard. “No. I haven’t read it.”

Before you could press further, he abruptly turned on his heel and walked away, disappearing into another aisle without another word.

You stood there, confusion swirling in your mind as you glanced down at the book again.

The Narrative of John Smith.

You traced the title with your fingertips, your heart sinking slightly.

Slowly, you placed it back on the shelf, committing the title to memory. Something told you it was better left unspoken.

As Spencer wandered into another section of the bookstore, the realization settled over him. This wasn’t the first time the thought had crept into his mind—fleeting, intrusive—but he had always managed to push it aside before it could take root.

But now? Now, he couldn’t ignore it.

You had picked up her book. Maeve’s book.

He hated that he thought of it like that, hated how the association was instant and unshakable. But it was the book Maeve had given him, one of the last tangible pieces of her he had left. He could still remember the moment he first held it, the way his chest had tightened when he read the message she’d written inside. The warmth.

And then—how that warmth had been ripped away.

His fingers hovered over the spines of the books in front of him, but he wasn’t really seeing them. He stood frozen, guilt creeping in, wrapping itself around his ribcage and squeezing.

Because he knew what was happening.

The two of you in this bookstore. The routine of wandering through aisles, picking out books, spending hours lost in pages and each other’s company.

It was the same dream he had imagined a hundred times before—only, back then, he had imagined it with Maeve.

And now? Now he was making that dream a reality. But not with her.

With you.

Spencer swallowed hard, his throat dry. It wasn’t fair—to you, to Maeve, to himself. He knew it was wrong to think this way, to compare, to feel like he was replacing her. You weren’t Maeve.

You were you—and you deserved more than being a stand-in for a ghost.

After a few minutes of waiting, you decided you’d given Spencer enough space. Whatever had happened, he was clearly upset, and you didn’t want to leave him alone with his thoughts for too long. So, you started searching for him, weaving through the aisles until you finally spotted him standing motionless in front of a bookshelf.

“Spencer,” you called softly.

He didn’t react right away, his gaze fixed on the books in front of him. As you stepped closer, your eyes flickered to the sign above the shelf.

Young Adult.

You frowned. That wasn’t the kind of section Spencer usually lingered in. He was more likely to be found buried in classics, philosophy, or obscure non-fiction. But you didn’t say anything about it.

Instead, you studied him for a moment. His shoulders were tense, his expression unreadable. Gently, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his arm.

He flinched.

It was small—so small that if you hadn’t been paying attention, you might have missed it. But you did notice.

“Hey,” you said, your voice softer now. “You okay?”

That finally pulled him from his thoughts. He blinked a few times before turning to face you, forcing a tight, almost unconvincing smile.

“Yeah. Sorry. No, I’m fine,” he said quickly.

You held his gaze, studying him carefully. You knew Spencer well enough to recognize when he was lying.

But you didn’t push.

If he wanted to tell you, he would.

“I heard there’s a nice restaurant on this street,” you said, offering him a small smile in an attempt to lift the heavy atmosphere that had settled between you. “Come on.”

This time, you didn’t reach for his hand. You didn’t touch him at all. And Spencer didn’t try to, either.

The two of you left the bookstore in silence, the cool evening air wrapping around you as you stepped onto the sidewalk.

“Okay, wait—the park is there, which means…” you mumbled to yourself, turning slightly as you pieced together the mental map in your head. Spencer followed quietly behind you, his hands tucked into his pockets, his mind clearly still elsewhere.

You stole a glance at him but decided not to say anything. Instead, you focused back on the street ahead.

“Okay, should be right around this corner,” you said, your tone more upbeat as you picked up your pace.

Spencer followed, quickening his steps to keep up with you, and soon enough, the two of you stood in front of the restaurant.

It looked inviting, cozy. A perfect place to reset the mood.

That was when Spencer’s face fell again—if not worse this time.

If that was even possible.

As you had led him out of the bookstore, grief and guilt had clung to him so tightly that he barely paid attention to where you were going. His mind had been replaying old conversations, old emotions, old dreams he had once held so close.

And because of that, he hadn’t realized it.

Hadn’t realized where you were leading him.

Not until now.

Spencer stopped in his tracks, his chest tightening as he stared at the restaurant in front of him.

He and Maeve had planned to meet here for the first time.

His breath caught in his throat as he tore his gaze away from the entrance and looked at you instead.

You were studying the restaurant from the outside, seemingly unaware of his turmoil. Your eyes scanned the menu posted by the door, your head tilting slightly as you took everything in. You looked excited, happy even, completely oblivious to the way his entire world felt like it was tilting beneath his feet.

And that was when it truly hit him.

The guilt. The crushing, unbearable guilt.

He had been using you as a replacement for Maeve this entire time.

He hadn’t meant to.

But every bookstore visit, every late-night conversation, every quiet moment spent together—it was all too familiar. Too close to what he had once imagined with someone else.

He had built this routine with you, shared this part of himself with you, not because it was new but because it was comfortable. Because it was something he had already longed for before.

And that wasn’t fair to you.

It wasn’t fair at all.

His hands curled into fists at his sides as his stomach twisted painfully. He wanted to say something, wanted to explain, wanted to fix whatever this was before it became something worse.

But how could he?

How could he look at you—the person who had been nothing but kind, nothing but patient, nothing but you—and tell you that all along, you had been living in the shadow of someone else?

[happyendingsong]

"before the match, when i saw her holding something like a queen's quest flag in the entrance and when i saw her matches after joining h.a.t.e., i thought she was half-hearted and i also had some resentment. but during those 27 minutes and 23 seconds that we fought, i felt all kinds of emotions, like "i'm pissed off" and "i want you to go back to being the old kamitani." when i saw kamitani screaming out loud from the depths of her stomach, unlike before, i thought "that's where you belong." i'm sure she has all kinds of conflicts and beliefs inside her, even if she doesn't put them into words. even if our paths are different, kamitani will always remain important to me. I want to fight her again."

--maika, quoted in tokyo sports, translated by meraWRESTLING

[rottengurlz]

“Sometimes I dream about you. I memorize every detail of your face like a prayer. Those moments seem so real that I grieve whenever I wake up and your spot next to me is cold. Why did you beg me to kill you? I would’ve stopped. Even in death I cannot escape you. I’m not sure I want to even if I was begging for it.”

w/ @kashisun !! (happy birthday 😭)

[writer-room]

I had an idea, and so I made some low effort memes. Happy Dragons Rising everybody

That is all

[starry-bi-sky]

Oh man, I binged the first 20 episodes of The Princess's Jewels a few days ago after watching a few review videos on it because I had to see just how bad it actually was, and I've decided to talk more about it here.

For the entire spite-fueled four hours of reading, i kept stopping to take screenshots to send them to @the-navistar-carol and then talk about how stupid a lot of the plot points were. I jokingly called Ariana a jellyfish based on her hairstyle, and the nickname stuck after Gen said "yeah and she's like an actual jellyfish by how the trick you into getting closer because they're so pretty before paralyzing you with their stingers."

I'm putting this under a read more because, as normal, I write a lot.

We all know Jellyfish sucks, but what gets me the most is the wasted potential of the guys (among other things). They are all so! Interesting! And they befall the same fate as female harem members in that their backgrounds and personalities all get set to the wayside in favor of fawning over the MC. They all come from unique, diverse backgrounds that don't get touched up on at all. For example:

Why did Efrit wear a mask all the time when his older brother didn't? Why did he say that "he finally found the woman he was going to reveal his face to" to Abal after he met Jellyfish? Is it some kind of cultural thing for the soldiers and warriors of Xek to wear masks until they fall in love? That would explain why his brother has his face revealed, cuz he's not a warrior! Why is the second prince in charge of the country's army and not the king himself? Why did he STAY the general of the army after he fucked off to another kingdom to become the lover of a foreign state?

Why was Haun Baek taken in by the royal family? The flashback of the queen giving him a new name implies to me that he may have been a slave of some kind, which puts a lot of perspective on why so many people were against his rise to power and disliked him. He was mentioned to be a general and head of the security division of the king, but as far as chapter 21 goes, this has never been brought up again. He's the Harem Pretty Boy who does all the work in high society for Jellyfish.

Speaking of fighting -- when did Jellyfish get a thigh tattoo to summon her sword? What's the backstory behind that? It probably has something to do with the 'swordmaster' thing (which is ANOTHER thing) but when did she get it? Why was she even allowed to learn swordfighting if she came from a seemingly implied patriarchal society? More importantly -- why was everyone okay with this? Why is it only the off-screen "evil old advisors" that hate her doing this.

Are these evil old advisors in the room with us right now?

Why are Nell and his family werewolves? Where did their magic recorder ability come from? This was just seemingly a power that he had that came out of nowhere when they were looking into Benela and her family. From the videos I had assumed he was a poor family that rose into dukedom after the war, but apparently they've always been? Dukes? And the other advisors still see the family as a threat? On one hand I can see where they're coming from, but on the other I don't think the comic is portraying them as "threats" the way I think they are. Nell and his family are seemingly treated like they were commoners who suddenly rose into nobility, rather than pre-existing nobility that fell onto hard times.

I want to know more about Jade and the fact that he's from a holy house from an entirely different country -- i cannot believe Ariana got away with that btw. Like im not even touching the gross overreach of power that is her demanding a noble not of her kingdom to be castrated, but more so on the fact that she practically coerced and stole a descendant of a saint and faced?? No backlash from this? None whatsoever? The gods and the people just let her get away with it because oh, it's an honor for this snobby empirical princess to come in and steal one of their chosen saintly descendants all because his dad pissed her off?

Like I agree that the dad was a scumbag, but Ariana calling him out on it is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Also, I wish Benela and her family were a bigger threat than TJP claims they are. Like, this is apparently the emperor's favored concubine who stole the love of the emperor away from the empress and successfully murdered the crown prince without getting caught. She's apparently some master manipulator but Jellyfish faces no trouble thwarting her at every turn. So what is it? Is she a master manipulator or is she a dunce? Or is the emperor just an idiot who doesn't care about his sons because with the way he treats them, you'd think they were bastard children.

The banquet "queen heel syndrome" scene gets me especially so because that was a good fucking plan!

Benela's plan to reveal and shine a light on Jellyfish's harem and how it was negatively impacting her image and high society was a good plan! That was brilliant! Because it had basis of truth in it. I don't know if the queen heel syndrome thing was a false rumor, or something she deliberately fabricated -- the comic never actually goes out of it's way to disprove it. In fact, I'd argue the QHS thing is *backed* by it, because just a few chapters prior when we first meet Benela, there's a side comment made by a noble woman about how her daughter was chasing after some man she was infatuated with.

But what I do know is that Jellyfish has been disgraceful towards her fiancé and that she has been indulging in her harem. By all accounts, by the implied societal standards of Arbezela or Azkaban, Jellyfish is being a whore. I am not one for mindlessly slut-shaming, but sometimes slut-shaming IS okay if it has a narrative purpose. And it does here. And Jellyfish doesnt even disprove any of their arguments, in fact she does a 1st grade level deflection and instead goes right for insulting Bavilo's lack of marriage prospects, which wasn't what they were talking about at all.

I'd applaud the deflection if it wasn't Ariana doing it, and if it wasn't such a serious and valid accusation that Benela and her family were making.In any other manhwa, this would have worked. This would have damaged Ariana's reputation, and it should've had some actual consequences to it. Instead they completely skip over this plot because the author knows that Ariana has no defense, she can't talk or excuse her way out because regardless of the truth behind the Queen Heel Syndrome, the fact remains what she is doing is inherently shameful.

Like! I am so mad that their scheme didn't work, because it! Was! A! Good scheme! All the best lies have some part of the truth in it, and Ariana should not have been able to weasel herself out of that so easily. In fact, the fact that she did just makes the emperor look like an even bigger incompetent.

Wanna know how this ended? It ended with the emperor blowing up at Bavilo because Bavilo said that he "could make it to the top on his own without the help of talented subordinates" and the emperor perceived that as a slight against him because, apparently, Bavilo was claiming to be heir to the throne? When nowhere in that sentence did Bavilo even so much as say or imply such a thing?

and also--- WHY is it such a bad thing that he's claiming to be vying for the heir seat? It's empty! The Emperor hasn't announced a new successor yet, of course Bavilo would say he wanted to be the crown prince. Nothing that Bavilo said was insulting towards anyone, and was actually quite admirable.

What gets me too is that right after this chapter, the empress claims that the princes are "illegitimate children" because they're the sons of concubines, and that if they were chosen for the role of "carrier of the light" people would question their parentage-- ???

First of all, not at all how concubines work. Concubines are a legitimate role in a harem structure and quite literally their job is to produce more heirs for the throne as back-ups in case something happens to the Heir Apparent. Like that's literally their job. They are official members of the royal palace, to claim that their children aren't legitimate is to claim that they're merely mistresses, not concubines. This was both an insult to the concubines AND the emperor.

Like my god I do not have the time to go into all of the plot holes of this webtoon. I haven't even gone into the total lack of consequences Ariana experiences both politically and socially, and how all of the interesting conflict happens off screen, nor the blatant racism and misogyny present throughout the webtoon, NOR the absolute SHIT worldbuilding.

[mai-hatsume]

BNHA manga spoilers btw

I have smtn to say ab bkdk like ok

I don't understand how ppl can't see it but ok each person has their own views and I get it but let's be so fucking serious here.

if I was ochaco or whoever you shipped w izuku and I was dating him I'd be so fucking jealous of katsuki coz????? what the actual fuck are you talking ab???? and like the opposite too like Kiri and Kats?????? my boyfriend died for his 'best friend' twice like???????? what have you done for me?

he saved up for 8 YEARS to get a suit for izuku??? do you think that's normal behaviour????

[summertaters]

Ahhh those costume designs are so flippin’ cool!!!

I absolutely adore Uraraka’s halo helmet, that is the cutest idea that suits her overall look so well! I love the idea of her doing some combo moves with Bakugou and he just accidentally grabs and yanks it, throwing her at the villains by her head 😂 Plus the jet pack is such a smart idea, I have no idea why it’s not canon, she would be so fast in the air! And yes to NO HEELS 👏 👏 👏 So impractical.

Bakugou’s costume is soo sick too!! I like how much you pushed his design, and the X extending looks so good!?? Like how has no one done that before!?! And the tiny gauntlets are beautiful, I love the idea of him just chucking grenades at his classmates all the time now, whether they catch it or not is up to them. And the gloves are *chefs kiss* magnificent 🤌

Thanks so much for sharing these amazing designs, you totally went all out and I appreciate it so much!!! I’m also glad you’re taking care of yourself, you absolutely deserve all the love and praise. Your art is beautiful and thoughtful and should absolutely get all the attention.

I will stick around for as long as you’ll have me and then some, even if your interests change, your art and kindness are something worth being around 💜💜💜

I thought your ideas were funny, so I doodled them out, haha.

You are the bestest anon there is~ <3 Thank you for following, and liking my blog!!

Take care of yourself~

[lunaticamic]

“they clearly favour sainz” my man didn’t get the seat for 2025. why would they favour him??? “so he can go and have options for other top teams” (something i read with my fucking eyes on this hellsite) i don’t know how to explain it to you that ferrari doesn’t care😭 it’s not like they owe sainz something. he was faster and he went for the gap. y’all wouldn’t have survived f1 pre 2000

[funkle420]

Don't fucking blame Palestinians and the people who support them for this. Don't blame people who couldn't bring themselves to vote for a genocide-loving centrist for this. Even if all of them voted for Harris it wouldn't have changed the outcome.

The blame you put on the people belongs on HARRIS for refusing to explicitly promise an end to weapons and money to Israel, and end to America's enthusiastic support of the genocide. She refused to listen to the bipartisan majority of Americans who want an end to the genocide! This is not democracy, there is no choice and the people don't have enough leverage over our president if every single election is a choice between the rapid end of the world and a slightly slower end of the world.

[starlightswordfight]

UHH REMINDER ALSO SINCE I HAVE BEEN SHARING A LOT MORE NEGATIVE THINGS LATELY that amid literally everything that's been going on, there are still things that you can do to retain control in your life in at least some areas!! not everyone can actively protest right now, not everyone has the means and that is OKAY! do what you can when you can!!

this post is a wall of text of me rambling about things you can do Right Now in your community or to keep yourself happy and motivated and going. it's a long one so it's going under read more. I also talk a lot more in the tags

i also use terms like Current Events a lot so I also apologize for the vagueness in some places!! I do not know if this will get flagged if I get more specific and my account has tried to go down twice now

#1: BONDING WITH YOUR COMMUNITY (WITH PERSONAL SAFETY IN MIND)

getting involved in your local community is a big big big thing I've seen talked about lately and I agree with that entirely!! the #1 best thing I feel like anyone can do right now is either volunteering at local support groups or getting involved in local activism

if you have a local community you can connect with for whatever reason then that's absolutely a good idea for both practical and emotional reasons. it can be for anything really, actually. reach out to friends, reach out to family, keep talking to people if you have the energy! it really does make a difference!

^ related to the above, if you can involve yourself in volunteer work, or mutual aid, or just helping others out in some other way, then absolutely do that! you can start with asking around, or searching up aid or other groups that may need extra help in your area, and go from there!!

I see a lot of people have been saying for months to organize and then absolutely no one ever explains how to organize, and if you don't plan on starting something up Yourself that is how you get involved. you find like minded people and you lend your hands. I just looked up "volunteers needed/mutual aid [insert town here]" and went off of that

and there are a lot of different places people might need assistance for. one example being food banks, pantries, are basically always accepting new donations -- if you have produce, not all of them will accept it due to safety regulations, but a local community garden might! libraries also will exchange more than books, and protecting libraries by showing involvement and interest in them is important now more than ever

local businesses, emergency aid if you have the certification, environmental work and disaster cleanup, assisted living areas, shelters, a lot of other specific areas I can't name right now. if you are physically able to seek out support and give back in turn (and if you aren't able to do one or both of these that's also okay!!) i highly highly recommend it. mutual aid especially goes both ways. do not be afraid to reach out for help, that is what they're there for

speaking of libraries!

#2: KEEP INFORMED

this can refer to a lot of different things, but on a federal and local level it is never ever ever a bad thing to keep up to date with what's going on. anyone trying to do bad things on a government level is relying on you not noticing or staying uninformed in the invent that you do notice. keep track of what's going on in your area and plan accordingly!!

keeping up with the news (and fact checking, always, because journalism isn't always ethically practiced), finding where your local city hall or equivalent is and staying up to date on local legislation, has always been important for safety and especially is right now. know how to determine a reliable source from an unreliable one, and know how to pick apart the difference between fact and misconstrued ideas spoken as fact. I'll probably make a post on that too at some point and link it here when I'm done

it is overwhelming to hear just how much is getting worse so quickly, but it's crucial that you don't allow yourself to become unaware, because that makes you easier to lie to. you do not have to work yourself to burnout or to a breakdown, please take breaks whenever you need to and put your own health first!!

but don't do yourself the disservice of not knowing what's happening around you. I want everyone to be as safe as they can, and to be safe you have to be informed

#3: FIND SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO (AND ALSO KEEP CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE EVEN IF IT'S IN SMALL WAYS)

staying up to date on current events has been overwhelming for me, but it also has helped me to maintain a sense of control in my life. and there are a lot of other ways to do that, too, and also give you sources of happiness and things to still look forward to! I'm listing what works for me but I'm sure there's infinitely more ways to pull that off

taking up or getting back into hobbies or interests is a very effective way to keep joy in your life, and this goes double if you're sort of stuck in your house like I am most days. you should get to do things that make you happy!! you deserve to still have things to look forward to!!!

I've also been personally using my interests to try to learn how to do more practical things that might help me and the people I live with; I'm a gardener so I've been working on trying to grow food, starting with sweet peppers. don't know if I'll end up needing that one day (or if my neighbors might, but as the economy completely fucks itself it could get very useful very fast), but having the knowledge and the means helps me feel more in control of what happens in my personal life, and it really has made me feel better and have a source of hope

I really hope that everyone who sees this is doing as well as they're able right now. saying all of this because I don't want to contribute to any ideas of complete hopelessness, if that makes sense. there are things worth getting up in the morning for and every one of you matters and you deserve to be happy. and I love you /p

even if you aren't utilizing your hobbies in that way (again, PERFECTLY fine, do what you need to forever), something like that might be useful for you, too! you can learn new skills or read up on all those things you already wanted to look into but kept putting off, you can carve out a little space in your world for Joy and for Whimsy if you don't have one already! it's good for you!! it's incredible in fact!!

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

[citrsworld]

Happy birthday ritsuka uenoyama the entirety of given DOSENT DESERVE U AT ALL

[sinkjustlikeastone]

ppl thinking we as a musical fandom invented cherrycola because we got bored with marbit….

babe I would die for marbit

I have like 17 wips of them and every picture and art I can find of them saved into my camera roll and tap about thes so much that every time I open my mouth my family has to tell me not to talk about them and you’re saying that we as fans of the musical are bored with it???????

I would shoot you down for them. Stop trying to find ways to hate on fans of the musical!!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[herenvibing]

cr3 is gonna end and the pc’s still feel like the same people to me :|

(crcritical content in the tags feel free to skip)

[yamikawaii]

theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love