#no worries yall im not vaguing about any of you (i dont think!)

[noirandchocolate]

Sometimes I see hot takes in fandom tags that I’d really love to reblog with an impassioned rebuttal but then I realize it’s not worth it because it’s fandom and I wouldn’t want to genuinely upset whoever posted them, over fiction. (I would never make personal attacks but you never know what somebody’s going to take as a personal attack, you know?)

Sometimes I want to make my own post that contains what I want to say in rebuttal but framed as a new hot take, but then I realize it’d be obvious it’s a response anyway so again, I’d better not.

But ohhhhh sometimes. Sometimes I see the same bad take again and again and I just. Grit my teeth and continue to be so very good and not respond. While seething.

[dreamsy990]

some pretty rough and bad sketches for some designs for a persona au? i also doodled a couple others but they need more cleanups than these guys do. which granted they still need a lot of cleanup. uhhhh notes under the cut for some stuff

i have the least to say about trucy. um i think her design needs the least touchups and thats only partially because drawing her was really easy with her canon design already being somewhat within the realm of persona designs. her arcana is the magician (obviously) and her persona is hermes !! idk why but it felt very fitting for her immediately. idk it might be a combination of both epics take on hermes being very silly and trucy acting as a sort of messenger sometimes to give people fake evidence. its ok guys it wasnt her fault shes literally a kid. honestly shes the only one ive decided on a persona for dfvgfedf. as for role in the party i think shed be garbage with physical stuff but have a very high magic stat because. magician !! as for what magic uhhh ill put a hesitant curse or wind. she could be either of those really.

athena i think would be the navigator. i just think it makes sense for her with her whole thing being about psychology and the general nature of palaces it seems fitting shed have that role. but while i think shed fill a similar role to futaba in being a navigator i think she would absolutely still be a party member because i cant imagine athena NOT being a party member. let the girl kill!!! i think shed mostly do physical damage and her magic type would be psychic obviously. i realize this is a haru ass build but whatever. also her arcana is strength. i considered some others but like come on shes strength. also while i was trying to come up with a persona for her i briefly realized i could just. take a pre existing persona and change their arcana TO strength instead of just working with personas that are already strength. and i was thinking of maybe giving her aphrodite? because i COMPLETELY forgot sex was a thing and was like "yeah aphrodite is about love and emotion and athenas got a lot of emphasis placed on her ability to hear others emotions and shes a psychologist so thats fitting also i cant give her athena as a persona obviously and ares isnt too fitting for her either but i remember hearing aphrodite at one point did have some association to war like athena and ares? and i was like YES aphrodite is a great choice. then i remembered the sex part and was like oh hm maybe not? but i might give her aphrodite anyways i just hope people like. get the actual reason why i think she should have aphrodite and dont just assume things. unfortunately i hate her design soooo much here i need to redo it or find some good inspiration

and nahyuta hasnt actually changed uh. much at all since my initial sketches for this au like a year ago. his arcana is the hierophant and his persona is uh. i havent actually decided yet sorry. lmk if yall have any good ideas though!! i do have a rough idea for his moveset, because i think he should have bless magic (because of course, maybe you could mix in some curse too for funsies but im worried about stepping on akechis toes too much with nahyuta dfvbgfd) obviously, and i think he could also be support. i dont think hed be much of a healer but have things like stat buffs and debuffs instead? so things like matarukaja and elec break for example. also for a vague concept of his role in the story, i think he might have a similar role to akechi, albeit probably not a villain really? my idea is that hed be working on his own in the metaverse, and eventually joins the main party because they share similar goals and its safer to work with others in the metaverse anyways. but hes probably slow to actually become part of the group in terms of like. being friends with them fbfrerfg. thats also why his design is sort of different in color palette from everyone else? all the others very mainly feature black in their designs while hes mostly white and gold. i think itd be cool for him to get a costume change at some point to fit in with them better, maybe make his scarf black? idk. also completely accidental but in my rough apollo sketches i gave him a similarish scarf and i think thats a funny similarity. i think nahyuta and apollo would hate each others guts. idk im trying to make designs cohesive like again you cant see it here but i tried to have trucy and apollo share a lot of design elements and i accidentally gave apollo and nahyuta similar scarfs and all the gang has black on their designs etc etc. im trying to make connections but im not all that good at character design so. its a struggle. but we stay silly.

ok thats it ummmmmm. idk. im bad at art but i hopeee you like them.

[ryannem1216]

Wealth, Abundance and Money.

Im going to ramble. The reason why so many people struggle with these concepts is many do not have the right mindset or the relationship to manifest these things. Many of us grew up with limiting beliefs about Money and wealth that deep down they still believe. Some common limiting beliefs about Money are :

1. I need to work hard for Money

2. Money is evil

3. I grew up poor so I know Money is hard to come by

4. People need to do unethical things to get money.

5. I need to be rich in order to be financially secure

Many beliefs like this are a small fraction of the limiting beliefs about Money and wealth. Often, people in the neville community says things like you only need to change your beliefs about Money, you need to just affirm you're abundant and you will be wealthy.......many do this and they still struggle. I'm going to say my opinion why.

To be honest many people who are posting things "how do I manifest wealth" continue to struggle because you truely dont understand what it means to be in a state of wealth. The vague BS advice you're being peddled does not serve you. Often many post from a position or situation already filled with lack, they're told "just live in the end and know you have lots of money" meanwhile in the real world you're faced with bills, eviction notices. Etc........the feel good advice you get from strangers usually gives you an emotional high for so long, afterwards your reality typically gives you a wakeup call. To start, yall are looking for a way to get out of a negative situation, and often we look at these things from a negative mindset.

Often unforseen bills are seen as a negative burden, looking at bank accounts fills people with anxiety or we worry about getting a paycheck; otherwise we fear being homeless and having no money. Most people's mindset around money is often from a negative perspective. This is the issue, your overall mindset and state around wealth, abundance and money is lacking. Somehow people neglect their relationship with money/wealth yet they are diligent and mindful of their relationship with family and friends. I suggest many of you change that.

If many had the same limiting beliefs about friends/family that we did about these things, we would be miserable people and have overall shitty relationships. Wealth/abundance is a state, money is just an object that symbolizes value. The same way we are constantly changing and evolving for our relationships with others we need to do the same with wealth/abundance/money. Stop looking at it from the view of it being an inanimate thing and look at it as a natutal part of you.

A few things I recommend you do is:

1. Know and understand YOUR personal definition of what wealth/abundance is. Once you do that stop looking at what doesn't serve you.

2. Change your mindset around money and wealth. We often change states when it comes to wealth. When we pay a bill or spend often we have negative states, instead we should always feel abundant no matter what. Get rid of the negative resistance you have with not being able to pay stuff if you don't have it. Often it's because of past thoughts/states. Deep down feel and know you're always taken care of. If you have to spend find ways to get out of any negative thinking patterns.

3. The same way we develop relationships with family/Friends/ loved ones, do the same with your relationship with wealth/money/abundance. Again, your wealth mindset is a part of you and your self concept. Stop neglecting it until something comes up.

4. Stop thinking the world will end if you don't have it. Thinking these things will make your situations worse.

5. Once you understand what your personal definition of wealth is, faithfully live in that mindset, enter that state and stay in it.

Neville says "The concepts of yourself is what manifests".......wealth/money/abundance is a part of this. Stop ignoring this aspect of your life until something negative pops up.

[starlightkun]

lmao i saw this on my dash and was wondering if you felt this way

https://www.tumblr.com/16woodsequ/727490027584667648?source=share

cause you rarely write drabbles, everything you write is like full fic length and takes longer and i see you posting little progress updates and little notes about each fic without spoiling. as someone who likes to talk (may or may not be the adhd idk) i cant imagine being in your position like WEREWOLF SUNGCHAN! EXISTS! IN MY MIND! AND ON THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU CANT SEE! BUT HE'S REAL!! HE'S REAL TO ME!! like how do you do it? having no one to scream to about your fics when you're writing? and having to wait until its completed and uploaded to have people to talk about it with? like especially with all the crack fics you're writing atm, i would be BURNING with the need to show people how funny your writing is

p.s. medication update: im going to switch from methylphenidate to dexamphetamine tmr because apparently im intolerant to ritalin and i think you're on dexamphetamine rn? im hoping that i see some benefits from it. btw your success is keeping some of my spirit and motivation up despite how abysmal ritalin was for me so thank you for posting about how Adderall was for you i really appreciate having someone experiencing meds alongside me 🫶🏻

-✨anon

link

LMAO sometimes that's me and sometimes i'm writing and i'm like "im never letting another living human see this abomination im writing rn this is the worst thing i've ever written and the only penance for what i've done is to throw myself off a cliffside" like there is no in between im either SO EXCITED FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND AM SO AKSEGKJHKJGKTR or i think it's awful and consider deleting it almost immediately after like this scene for changer2 im writing rn like literally as i got this ask (im not gonna delete it but she is gonna b HEAVILY EDITED)

it's fr so hard having werewolf sungchan AND hockey player sungchan BOTH IN MY MIND RN LIKE 🤪 screams everyday i put on my uniform to go fight in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡🫡🤪🤪🫡🤪🫡🤪🤪🤣🤣🫡🤪🤪🫡 lest we also not forget that single dad kun is in here too and some other fellas that yall dont know abt like its soooooo bad in here for me

sometimes i contemplate posting random one-liners or snippets when i write things that make me teehee extra hard or r like rlly 🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨 but i always get worried about spoilers versus teasers soooo i keep it locked away all to myself and maybe go a lil crazy idk who's to say so i do more vague type stuff like talking about how there's a 2.6k makeout scene without posting any actual lines from it, or saying that one of my favorite character bits that i think is genuinely super funny is in dr. magic but not saying what it is, etc., etc., OR also doing ask games like word in a wip where y'all can try to get some lil snippets from me (which i feel i am always very generous with lol)

p.s. to ur p.s.: very happy to hear that you're getting switched off the meds that weren't working for you! i'm on "amphetamine salts" (generic adderall) which is a combo of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, but pretty much yeah it's the big one in the amphetamine class of adhd meds. it has a sightly different effect than dextroamphetamine alone since it has levoamphetamine as well, which lasts longer and can produce better results in some people (pls go w ur dr on this im not giving medical advice omg just what i learned in my psych classes and the information i've been given). i actually just saw my dr today to check in on how i was doing on the adderall (reg check-up appt). i was rlly worried bc the initial good results i saw in the first days were practically gone after like the first week and i was practically back to normal (i.e., bad. my kitchen is a fucking mess again) and when i told him that he was like "lol that's fine! that was just the trial dose! so we can up you to a normal dose now since you saw good results at first" so hopefully i'll be functioning again 👍 so i love this for us 🫶 rooting for us 🫶🫶

[jangofctts]

Sink Your Teeth In (Part 2 of Are You In Or Out?)

Rated: Explicit (Paz is in the next chapter DONT WORRY)

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, the cold?, reader is in PERIL YET AGAIN, vaginal fingering, oral female receiving, unprotected vaginal sex (wrap them schlongs yall), brief hand jobs, swearing, angst, very VERY light choking, din is a sub sorta?? bottom energy 

Summary: Well. At least you aren't dead. After a solo hunt gone wrong, you’re dumped in a cave on Csilla. Hopefully someone finds you before you freeze to death.  

a/n: hey…so uh. HOW ABOUT THAT EPISODE HUH?!? aheM anyway--yall I just wanna thank everyone first off for all the love and support!!! I see all of your comments and tags and AH IM SO LUCKY TO HAVE ALL OF YOU GUYS. ALSO SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO @djxrxn​ THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN DONE WITHOUT YOU BB GORL

Well—

Here you are. 

Taken by surprise by another bounty, further proving how irrevocably incompetent you are at this line of work. You blame the binders. An older, clunkier model—easy to pick if you’re clever enough and yes. Maybe you should’ve asked to borrow a carbonite chamber, but hey—where’s the fun in that? 

Not much, as it so happens. 

Your feet had been kicked up on the dashboard, dozing and unaware of the freed bounty creeping up behind the pilot’s seat. Something delightfully blunt smashed against your temple, jolting you into a brief conscious state where the only thing you could think before passing out again, was a resounding— 

Oh, fuck me sideways with a fucking lightsaber—

The rest is hazy. A blur of colors and the fuzzy shapes of your bounty’s face sneering in amusement when she bound your wrists and ankles and left you in the cargo hold. Vaguely you recall your ship being commandeered, swung into an unidentified atmosphere and landing on said unknown planet Or planets. Planet hopping to cover up a trail. 

The bitter cold, sharper than a needle through skin is what shook off the last dregs of unconsciousness. The bounty’s hand was hooked into the collar of your clothes, dragging your limp body through drifts of snow and ice. You would’ve fought back—should’ve even though each extremity felt like a numb block of lead. Not very useful in a fight…

Soon, the snow turned to mud and the mud to stone as a mouth of a cave slid over the impossibly blue sky. Dumped in a cave, and left to die—perfect way to bite the dust. Your bounty turned captor lands a sharp kick to your ribs, mouthing some curse in a language you don’t understand, and left without a second thought. 

Seems about right. You have a knack for lying helpless and half dead in places you ought not to be in. 

Two days and counting, you’ve been holed up in this blasted cave with no food, no supplies and no comlink. It’s going be a fucking chore to find you—nearly impossible. You’re lucky in that aspect you guess—you know enough bounty hunters to sniff out a a needle in a whole stack of needles, so all it is is a race of time against the elements and how long it takes for one of them to notice.            

Aeris is no help. He left a day before you had—hired as personal protection for some syndicate leader halfway across the galaxy. Ives is in a similar boat, off-world and unavailable to drag your ass out of the hole you’ve dug. Which leaves…

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose between your forefinger and thumb. Anytime you even think of those two a migraine cumulates behind your eyes. It’s…it’s not like anything bad happened in the aftermath—there’s been no fallout or arguments with barbed words as weapons. It’s been quiet. Like stepping onto a sheet of cracked transparisteel in a library full of tight-lipped academics. 

The questions lurk under the surface of every conversation and longing look cast your way. You’ll need to clarify and sort things out eventually, but fuck—it’s such a mess of frazzled heartstrings and fine strands of impossible thoughts that lead into an endless void of doubt. You’re shoving that emotional time bomb to the very back of your mind—everything is still so raw…  

So you ran. 

Picked up any and all jobs that the Guild provided just to escape the looming decision of confronting a certain pair of Mandalorians. That and with them having their own tasks to complete, it was rare to see them, let alone together in the past few weeks. A simple run in here and there in the halls of the Covert, but you were too busy to stop and chat—forced a chaotic schedule upon yourself as an excuse to avoid staying in once place at a time.    

Coward.

The word knots in your stomach like gnarled tree roots escaping their prison of dark soil on untrodden land.  

Maker—how did everything become so tangled? 

You draw your knees up to your chest and release a long, drawn out exhale that echoes through the cave. You sniff and force the swell of tears that prick at your eyes away. You’re pretty sure they’ll freeze and you’re not hoping to find out. 

The only good thing about being dropped on this Maker-forsaken, wasteland devoid of anything but snow, is the free ice for the nasty gash on your forehead. A nice little parting gift. 

It’s shallow…you think—it stopped bleeding the night before and is now just a scabbed over, tender wound that throbs whenever you move your head too fast. Concussion maybe—a mild one.  

Maker willing when someone finds your sorry ass they’ll have bacta. Or a blanket. Either would be peachy.     

Sitting up with a wince, you shuffle to the mouth of the cave for the thousandth time and scour the skyline for a familiar ship. Or, any ship really. The only thing you do see is a lonesome wisp of cloud against the grayish blue sky much to your chagrin. You scowl and stalk back into your little hovel and slump back onto the ground. 

The hours drag on, the watery light of the dying sun barely doing anything to warm you. Sulking is hardly what you should be doing—not great for the burdened mind and all that, but ah, it’s so fun to wallow in misery. You curl your knees up to your chest and you must slip into a doze because when you’re snapped back into the present, footsteps punch through the frozen tundra outside your cave.  

Adrenaline crackles down your spine—the bounty changed her mind. Ultimately decided she’d be safer in the long run with you dead. Fine.

If this is where your grave is going to be, might as well get in one or two punches. What’s another black eye anyway?

A shadow flickers at the mouth of the cave, curling around the wall as she draws closer. A brown boot kicks through the snow and— 

“Changed your mind? I—“

Your words die on your tongue as relief floods your veins. Din Djarin stands before you, a sight for sore eyes in these trying times. 

Frost glitters on the burgundy chest plate, glinting in the dim sunlight that touches the mouth of the cave. A delicate feathering of the dainty crystals that no high end lace maker could ever hope to mimic curls up the front of Din’s visor and eats away at the edges of his cloak. His heavy step forward reverberates off the walls, some of that ease replaced by the prickle of dread. His silence is unnerving. 

“Din,” you say again, just so he’ll say something. “I can—“

You move to stand, but he interrupts with a halting;

“Sit.”       

Your mouth snaps shut and you drop back on the floor. This…is not good. His footsteps are heavy as he approaches you and every muscle in your frame tightens like a fist wrapping around your ribcage and squeezing. The precise edges of his helmet are not a forgiving sight and even when he kneels onto one knee you have to resist the natural urge to flinch. Like this, despite hunching over, Din is broad. All hard muscle and sinew amplified by the bulky layer of beskar.   

Your tongue runs over the insides of your teeth as you track his hand that he thrusts foreword. You hiss and jerk away at the sudden needly pain when his gloved thumb finds the edges of your head wound. A low sound of disapproval filters out through the helmet in a low metallic buzz. 

“You won’t need stitches,” he says. Din reaches into one of his various supply pouches and pulls out a tiny vile of bacta. He casually pulls off his right glove, unscrews the vile and smears the bacta over his thumb. This time you don’t make a sound, even though your nerves scream at the razor like sensation of his thumb working the bacta into the damaged flesh. He doesn’t ask how the injury happened and you don’t care to tell him. There’s a time and place for stories about battle scars and near misses—it’s much too fresh to be spoken of right now. 

The brief torture finally ends after once last glance over for other presenting injuries. He finds none, replaces his glove and stands with a muted grunt. You know what’s next. You’d rather avoid it—you aren’t keen on the berating lectures—as deserved as they are.      

“I found your ship on Sato 3,” Din begins with a growl. “Imagine my surprise when I found your bounty selling it for parts.”  

Ah, there it is. You wince and study your fingernails. “Pile of junk anyway…”

“I thought you’d be smarter about these things,” he snarls, his sharp tone deadly enough to slice through bone. “Was the hole blown into your lung not enough for you?”

You swallow and bite your tongue.  

The bristling Mandalorian, continues and jabs an orange tipped finger at you. “You are reckless.”

Your chest constricts as you look away, shame blooming in the pit of your stomach.This is a new facet of Din you’ve never encountered. You aren’t naïve—even the most docile of people can harbor a temper, you know that. And you know Din is by no means passive—he’s an elite warrior equipped with a small arsenal at his disposal. You don’t expect him to coddle you or treat you different than any other companion; but…but it’s hard not to take his ire to heart. Not when it’s the kind of anger that boils deep in your chest and erupts with molten streams that leaves scathing wounds and blistered feelings.  

You chew your lip hard enough to taste blood and avoid his piercing gaze. You think if you do you might catch fire and burn to a crisp. “I’m sorry.”   

The meek apology settles in the air like a heavy fog. Din’s anger still brews, looming and dark but he reigns in his temper and switches out the searing cadence of his words with chilly informality. You’re not sure which is worse.   

“No more bounties.” 

“What?” Your brows knit together. The fuck does he mean.  

“No more hunts alone—“  

You interrupt with a scoff. “You’re grounding me?”

He strides across the small space and plants himself on the opposing wall. “Until you’re competent enough, you have no business being out in the field. You might as well be bait at this point.” 

“Competent.” You echo through clenched teeth.  

His helmet dips, leveling a steady glare of indifference. “The Crest is a half cycle’s walk from here. In the morning I’m taking you back to Nevarro.”   

“I’m not a child. You can’t just,” you throw your hands up in dismay, “ban me from bounty hunting.”    

Din’s armor clinks together as he moves to sit. He rests one elbow on his propped up knee, extends his other and rolls his helmet to meet your eyes. “Your actions reflect the Covert now. We can’t risk discovery because of one stupid mistake or a careless loose end.”    

That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Stars, you want to smack yourself. Your ship, as shitty as it was, hosted a good chunk of sensitive information, all encrypted and translated into binary. A mediocre slicer could hack through it in hours. Not exactly foolproof but hey, at least you had something. Good thing your bounty wasn’t in the market of selling stolen ships to the Empire. 

“Din?”

The Mandalorian makes no noise of affirmation that he heard you. You sigh and take his silence as a go ahead and clear your throat. “How long was I gone for?”

Here, in the cave it’s been nearly three days, but the rest of it you’re not exactly sure. Hunting the bounty down took up at least a week or two and even longer to capture her and there’s no accounting for the time lost after your ship was commandeered. Your teeth roll over your bottom lip as you wait for him to respond. 

“Almost two months.” He replies evenly. “Your transmissions were cut three weeks ago and I didn’t think anything of it. Comms are always patchy in Wild Space."

Leather creaks as his fist balls at his side. “You didn’t answer for days. Paz and I tracked the ship to Sato 3, but you weren’t there. Do you know how difficult it was to pick through all the planets recorded on your log?”

You blink and return to picking at your fingernails. 

“You weren’t easy to find, I—“ He severs the rest of his sentence with a crackling sigh and tilts his head back. “You’re lucky.”    

The hesitance lacing his words makes you bite your tongue, the snarky retort crumbling to ash in your mouth. Din doesn’t bother to filter his words—he’s blunt. Efficient and to the point when he does decide to speak. That…well that was different.   

He was worried—

You rub at your cheek—numb with the cold and curl into yourself. Din was worried. Easily the most feared bounty hunter in the parsec, worried that he couldn’t find you.   

A different cold—one that settles deep into the marrow of your bones and hugs your soul with a sheet of frost, makes a home in your heart. The severity of what could’ve happened replaces that sheen of hilarity and fuck. You were closer to freezing to death than Din finding you here—alone in some stupid kriffing cave.  

Somehow the idea of that is worse than the brief brush of eternal slumber you had on Nar Shaddaa. Up to that point you expected to die young—no harm and no foul in it either. You had no attachments, no debt to pay—a drifter in an endless galaxy.    

Now you’re here, buckling under the weight of mismanaged friendships and your uncanny skill at weaseling into any and all trouble. 

Neither you or Din jump to fill the silence. The ashes of disaster settle in nicely with the frozen echo of an endless winter.      

It’d been a couple hours shy from sunset when Din arrived, the sun providing weak light that hardly touched the mouth of the cave. Now as the shadows grow longer and with the temperature dropping, the two of you are swallowed up by the unyielding darkness of night. 

Din shuffles and fishes out the solar light from his supply bag. It clicks on and warm, orange light illuminates the cave. It bounces off his beskar, fracturing the light like a million tiny suns in the tempered metal and in the impossibly dark visor. He looks up, and tosses the light over. 

You catch it easily and despite the warmness of the light it emits, it offers no heat for your chilled fingers. You set it to the side and tuck your hands into your armpits. 

By no means is the cave warm—the natural thermal vents kept the ground dry and free of the ice and snow that rages outside, but it doesn’t protect you from the occasion chilly draft that cuts through each layer you wear. Then again, you weren’t planning on taking an unexpected vacation on Csilla. No time to plan really.  

You sigh and pull your knees up to your chest and cast a glance at your ever radiant ray of sunshine across from you.  

He looks nice and cozy—leaned back against the cave wall, one leg crossed over the other while his hands sit intertwined just below his navel. The beskar must provide insulation—maybe a fancy heater in that bucket of his, or maybe he’s just too stubborn to show anything other than indifference.   

Another bout of shivers tear through your frame and you’re certain Din can hear the enamel of your teeth clack together. You shove your hands deeper into your armpits and tuck your chin into your chest to preserve heat and pray that sleep isn’t far off—can’t be cold if you’re unconscious.    

Metal scrapes over stone as Din readjusts himself and you can feel him looking at you. It’s not a terrible weight to bear; intense and analytic, sure and in the past it would’ve unnerved you. Now, instead of it feeling like he were peeling back each fibre of your soul each time he stares, it’s familiar. A pattern of sorts—

It happens each time Din wrestles with an uncertain question. He deals in absolutes, and it’s no surprise he rarely knows what to say to you. 

“You’re shivering,” he states. You roll your eyes. “Are you cold?”

“Boiling, actually,” you snip. “Why else would I forget a jacket?”

A sharp hiss of air crackles through the vocoder. “Don’t get mouthy with me. It was a simple question.”

“Well—there’s not much to do about it,” you sneer, watching your breath condensate in the air. “I’m freezing, exhausted, and hungry.”       

You know you’re being snide—but your nerves feel like they’ve been severed at the root with a dull vibroblade. You have neither the time nor energy to spare for simple questions. Din should understand that—seeing as he’s a man familiar with short temperament.

The space between you is ripe with crackling tension, and maybe—if you weren’t so fucking cold—you’d play the mediator. Thread stitches into the gash you both sliced into your friendship, as small it may be. You’ve lost friends over less—this could end up no different.

You sigh and turn your head. This is a problem for tomorrow. 

Irritated and upset, you squeeze your eyes shut and chase after sleep. You slip in a doze faster than expected, any and all discomfort fading away a you toe the line between a deeper sleep and waking dreams. You think you imagined Din saying your name—Maker you can’t even escape him in your own fucking head—  

It doesn’t end—like a nagging buzz that swells until it’s right near your ear. Spite spurs you to ignore It and exhaustion convinces you to drift further away. That is, until a hand, gentle and warm curls around your shoulder. You once again hear your name rumble low through Din’s helmet, but it’s much too difficult to open your eyes. Why can’t he leave you be? You barely feel the cold now…

“Stay awake.” Din sounds distant, in some other plane of existence despite the steady hold he has on your arm. “Maker—you’re colder than kriffing ice.” 

“Go away,” you grumble through numb lips. Such a pest.  

He’s talking—but the words don’t make sense. Muddled—split between that hazy line of dreaming and consciousness where you can’t decipher what’s real. His hands however—you can feel those plain as day. A bare palm cups your cheek—shreds through the layer of frost you’re positive has crystalized over your skin and rouses you to a more coherent level of presentness.       

“Don’t quit on me yet—“

“Nah,” you mumble. “I’m hard to…to kill. L-like a scrap rat…”  

Din grunts in response. “Rat is a compliment. You’re more of a spider-roach.”

The ends of your mouth quirk. It’s the best you can do—a full smile just might push you to the brink of death.        

“C’mon—I won’t let either of us freeze,” Din sighs. His fingers find the magnetized latches on his cuirass and it slips off with practiced ease, the armored thigh plating following a moment later. He neatly sets it to the side and grabs his cloak to fasten it around you. With another sigh, Din shuffles in behind you and wraps an arm around your middle, nestling his legs and body snuggly around yours.   

Maker—you don’t have time to bother about the intimacy of this because all you’re drawn to is the furnace like heat. Fuck, he’s so warm. You have only a second to enjoy it before your body begins to thaw—bringing forth waves of achey pain.   

His chest molds to your back, both arms curling over your own arms that are scrunched up tight around your chest. You shake in his hold, vicious waves of cold clashing against his body heat—it hurts—like sticking your bare foot into hot coals.     

You squirm, little gasps of discomfort slipping out that echo around the cave. Din shifts, tucking you further under his body until he’s nearly crushing you. It’s a bit tricky to breathe like this but hey—you’re not complaining. Not when your nose is buried in his soft undershirt that smells purely of Din.   

Your fingers and toes still throb as they thaw, but it’s working. Cuddling Din Djarin to stave off hypothermia—sounds kriffing ridiculous. 

“You’re still shivering,” he says. “I might…”

Your breath catches in your throat as he trails off. “Might what?”

Another shiver wracks through your body as his frosty helmet catches on bare skin when he dips his head in embarrassment. You don’t quite catch what he says and he doesn’t bother to clarify. “Forget it.”  

You turn your head as much as you can, straining your eyes to meet the strip of visor. “Tell me.”

He mumbles under his breath again and cuddles closer, slotting his hips against your ass. “Might know…know another way to keep us warm…”

Oh. 

A spark breathes to life in the pit of your tummy. You wiggle onto your back, your nose brushing the vizor. “Does it involve me taking off my pants?” 

Din huffs, his hands, previously latched onto your hips, starting to crawl up your waist. “It could…”    

You smirk and rock your hips back, eliciting a low growl that rumbles through his chest. With your whine of approval, Din’s hand slips between your legs and gives the meat of your inner thigh a squeeze. You let your knees fall open as far as they can in this position and it’s all Din needs to cup your cunt through the thin material of your trousers. 

Crackling pleasure flood your veins as the heel of his palm grinds into your clit, and while the pressure is nice, it does nothing to satisfy. Only feeds the growing flames of desire with brittle kindling. 

You pull at his undershirt and whimper, thrilled once his deft fingers, calloused and thick unlace your pants and yank far enough down to fit his hand. His fingers trace your outer lips, a ghost of a touch as arousal swells in your stomach. He parts your folds once your wetness begins to dribble out and coats his fingertips with your arousal. 

Stars—you need him. You arch into him and whine. “Touch me. Din, please—“ 

You jerk as Din’s thumb swirls a slow circle over your clit, a rush of endorphins surging out like unrefined fire whiskey. Din’s head tilts to watch you writhe over his fingers and the sudden chill of his helmet touching the inside of your flushed neck steals away your next inhale. Goosebumps race down your entire being, adding to the influx of your excitement that pools in your lower belly.       

Your hands tangle into his undershirt, pulling him closer until you can’t find where he begins and you end. His heart pounds in his chest, thrumming to the dance of your own heart that yearns to break free from your ribcage. Your breath catches when two of his thick fingers tease at your entrance. Your walls flutter around him as the slip in easily.   

His fingers roll forward and stroke against something devastating inside of you, and he when his palm rolls back, it bumps against your clit with that divine firmness you need. Your cunt tightens around the two digits as they curl.  

“Fuck. Can you hear yourself?” He pants, groping your breast to elicit a high pitched wail. “You always make—make such pretty noises.” 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words and fuck. You’re already dipping head first into release. A moment later you’re arching into his chest as every muscle stiffens in a crescendo of bliss, your stuttered breathing harsh even to your own ears.  

Your quick pants fog up his visor as Din rests the crown of his helmet on your forehead, the metal a cool relief to your flushed skin. He slips his fingers out of your dripping cunt, your chest still heaving with exertion as the last strands of your high fizzle and ebb away. Din shifts and and snakes his fingers, still shiny and wet with your arousal, beneath the lip of his helmet and sucks them clean with an appreciative groan.  

“Fuck—“ You breathe, pushing your face into his hand as he cups your cheek. Din’s thumb brushes over your cheekbone and swings his leg over your hips to hoist himself over you. 

“Do you remember...” He starts, his voice buzzing through the vocoder. His fingers tickle down your cheek and trace the parted outline of your lips. “When you let me taste you?”

You nod, and it’s all you’re able to do. You’re not even sure you can formulate words, let alone voice them right now. 

Din’s thumb pulls at your plush bottom lip, and you can’t help but slide your tongue along the digit. He grunts and slips his thumb into the wet heat of your mouth. “I think about you every night…how you came on my tongue—”

Your stomach flips as a rush of arousal sweeps through your tummy. You groan and you’re half sure you’re gonna dissipate into the floor from how hot your cheeks burn. “Din—"  

He continues without missing a beat. 

“You were so fucking wet for me—dripped all over my hand,” he murmurs, nuzzling his helmet, still chilly and frosted over, into the crook of you neck.  “I want to do it again—can I?”

You’re nodding before he even finishes his sentence. He wasn’t the only one longing for his head between your thighs on those long nights apart. Remembering those plush lips and addictive touches could only get you so far and well—he’s here now. You said it once and you’ll say it again—there’s no chance in hell you’d be passing up this opportunity. 

Din lifts his head and as you watch the light glitter in the reflection of the beskar, a sudden stray thought ricochets into the forefront of your mind. “Din, the light—your helmet.”

He pauses, his body tensing as he mulls over his options. “It’s—I—it’s ok…It’ll be ok.”

Din inhales a stuttered breath and casts a brief glance over his shoulder. It’s a dim light, kicked into the corner and laying on its side. From this angle, his face would be partially obscured in shadow…but still. There are easier ways to go about this. Ways that don’t risk jeopardizing the very foundation of who he is—what he stands for and what he so devoutly follows.    

To say you know anything about his religion is laughable. Everything you know can fit on the back of a thumbtack and even still, you’re sure that half of that is still based upon rumor and speculation. But this—what Din is hinting at, you know is not something to be taken lightly. 

He’s stripping his soul bare for you—allowing you to glimpse at that bleeding heart of his he guards so securely within layers of flesh and bone and impenetrable beskar. Din is gifting you his trust and there’s no where else to put it except for the space beneath your breast bone.   

Yet, even still—this could mean nothing at all. You have no way to know the exact magnitude of what this means to him. If he’s alright with this, who are you to question?

He mumbles one last thing about the light and sits up. Goosebumps rush up your bare skin at the loss of the heavy warmth of his body. You whine and curl up closer to his legs, greedy for any spare iota of heat like you’ve been denied it your entire life.   

Maker you hate this fucking planet—   

Your attention snaps back to Din when he makes a noise of uncertainty. His hands are cupped around his helmet—hesitant, nervous and you suspect if Din’s hands weren’t plastered so tight around the metal, he’d be shaking. You chew on your lip and prop yourself up. 

Cautiously, so as not to startle, you reach up and curl your fingers around his wrist. You can feel his pulse thrumming through his veins—alive, flesh and bone like you. Not some heap of sentient metal built for the horrors of war. You don’t know why you do it—just seems right to pull the fragile and vulnerable skin of his inner wrist to you mouth. You plant a gentle kiss there and smile when he cups your cheek.           

“You don’t owe me anything, Din,” you say, staring into the darkened depths of his visor. “Least of all this.”    

Some of that tension held in Din’s shoulders melts. He utters something in that clipped language of his people, and the only thing you can make out is your name. He lurches foreword and fuck—you’re terrified for a split second he’s gonna cave your skull in but instead he lightly bumps the crown of his helmet over your forehead.      

“I want to. For you—only you.”

Din doesn’t leave any time to unpack all of that. He sits up again, wraps his hands around the beskar— 

The metallic thunk of the helmet reverberates through the cave like a crack of thunder.    

You were right. 

You can barely see his face—if you really look, you can see the murky outline of his nose, dark hair and a sliver of his tan skin that the light touches. Attractive—but you knew that already. You touch his cheek and smile, your thumb catching over wiry facial hair and soft skin. Din makes a sound low in his throat and pushes his cheek into your hand. 

“I still want to taste you,” Din says, his voice richer when stripped of that tinny vocoder. You like listening to him speak without it, you think, and it’s a damn shame you never get to hear it. “Please.”     

Before he can escape and fulfill that fantasy, you yank him into a blinding kiss. He kisses the same—all wild edges and with desperation lining each motion—but there’s a new found tenderness here. Like he’s savoring each gasp and every brush of skin you grace him with like it’s your last night left in the galaxy.   

He breaks away from your mouth and peppers kisses and nips down your jaw, then lower as you arch and expose the bare skin of your throat. There’ll be a plethora of bruises tomorrow, and with no hope to cover them either but fuck it—Din can leave as many hickeys and teeth marks as he wants. 

If not for the cold still latching onto your very soul, you’d ditch the shirt; give Din better access instead of him needing to shove a hand up under and grope at your breasts. He gives the fabric an annoyed tug, but it’s fruitless. There’s no use when there’s better things to be sought. 

He shoves your shirt as far up as it goes, shivering as he mouths down your stomach, licks around your bellybutton and sucks a bruise onto your hipbone. Your pants are already pulled halfway down—one sharp yank and they’re around your ankles and off in the next breath. 

Cupping your knees with both hands he gingerly spreads your legs and drapes them over his muscular shoulders. Din rubs his patchy haired cheek along your thigh and hooks his hands under your ass, his ivory white teeth catching the light as he smiles.  

“Fucking perfect—“ He groans, planting his lips over your inner thigh. His tongue swipes a wet line up, stopping just before your aching cunt to dig his teeth into the sensitive flesh. You jump at the burst of pain and shoot a hand down, tangling your fingers into the soft curls atop his head.  

Din grunts and jumps to your other thigh, leaving no inch of skin neglected and without evidence of his teeth and lips. By the time his thumbs touch the outer lips of your cunt, the aching need for him is burning you from the outside in. He has to still your twitching hips with a calloused palm, and only after you settle does he surge forward. 

His tongue meets your swollen clit, ripping a tangled cry from you vocal cords. He’s just as eager as the first time he tasted you, if not more—every action backed by needy abandon. He sucks at the bundle of nerves then sweeps his tongue lower. Din’s thumbs part your lower lips as he runs his tongue though your soaked folds, the tip of his nose bumping against your clit that send delicious sparks throughout your whole body. Little noises and breathy gasps fill the cave, encouraging Din to push his tongue deep into your aching entrance. 

Your hand fists into his hair as your hips stutter and rock into the searing heat of his mouth. The noises you make are obscene, and Din is no better. Each pass of his tongue over your pussy is matched with his own deep moans that vibrated against your clit. Fucking hell he’s devouring you alive.          

Your orgasm sneaks up on you, robs you blind and crashes over you in deep waves that drag you out to sea and never to be found again as you spill onto his greedy tongue. Your fingers are threaded tight in his hair as you squeak and press harder into his mouth, riding out your pleasure until it shifts and becomes raw and sore.  

Din doesn’t pause for even a second—all too happy to stay put between your thighs for eternity. Your legs are trembling when you force his head away, a nice, tingly warmth settling into your limbs 

A dark thrill rushes down your spine when he looks up, wild hair and mouth covered in your slick. If not for the low lighting you imagine his eyes would be glazed over and Maker you want him again. Din swoops down and presses his mouth to yours, the taste of yourself heavy on his tongue that slips past the seem of your lips. 

You whine after he breaks away and sits up—an opportunity for your eyes to roam down his body. He’s still got his trousers on, a considerable bulge tenting the front. With a smirk you reach up and grab a handful, delighting in Din’s startled grunt. “Easy.”

You flash him a wry smile and give his clothed cock a playful squeeze. “Take them off.” 

Din huffs and pulls at the drawstrings. “Needy.”

He says it with no bite and no coquettish retort on your end springs to mind—especially when his thumbs hook into the waistband and pull. A slow reveal of sun-kissed skin and a sparse happy trail that your eyes eagerly drink up. 

Din’s cock bobs as his trousers fall around his knees, tip shiny and wet and curling towards his navel. You bite the inside of your cheek and reach out, a rush of arousal pulsing through your core at Din’s low moan. He’s heavy in your hand, deliciously thick and throbbing—and all of it for you. 

Din gasps out your name as you lightly squeeze and stroke down, your pace dreadfully slow and teasing. Who knows when you’ll get another chance like this—a Mandalorian willingly on their knees for you.           

Your other hand slips up his chest as you stroke him, intent on grabbing a handful of his thick hair that curls softly against the column of his neck. Your fingernail lightly scrapes across his nipple and he sways, pitching forward before he catches himself and straightens. Din’s eyes are squeezed tight, chest heaving with shallow pants as a smirk tugs at your lips. 

“It’s ok, Din,” you whisper. “I won’t break.” 

Your fingers twist into the hair at the base of his skull and guide him back. He slumps forward with a sweet moan, laying his weight onto your body that you’re all too happy too bare. His nose is nestled into the slope of your neck as his hands lock around the dip of your lower back while the other cradles the back of your head, drawing you into a loose semblance of a hug. 

Something snaps and crumbles deep in your soul that bleeds the heartstring blues, humming with broken chords in the presence of Din’s soft fragility. Your hand moves from between his legs to instead wrap around the wide expanse of his back, squeezing him tight to your chest. You hold each other like there isn’t tomorrow to look forward to and you wonder if this is how it feels to fall apart. Two spinning halves of a supernova torn apart and destined to collide and shatter into a million fragments of dazzling light.  

Yes, you’re scared he might blind you or burn you with his brilliance, but you can’t look away.      

Your fingers crawl up his muscled thigh and settle on his hip. “Lie down for me?”

There’s no hint of hesitation or complaint as he maneuvers himself onto his back, patiently allowing you to clamber over his legs and straddle his hips. His cock rests on your inner thigh, pulsing and leaving a dribble of wetness every time it twitches.    

“Good boy.” It’s subtle but it ripples out like a heavy stone thrown into a still lake. Din shudders and says your name in a cracked whisper. He rolls his hips, both of you groaning at the sensation of his cock running along your dripping center.     

Another time for that game maybe. 

Your desperation is running hot and wild to have him inside you and you know he’s in a similar boat. You grab the thick shaft of his cock and grind the tip of him through your lips, breath hitching when it extracts such a perfect moan from the man below you. 

“Ride me,” he pleads, clamping his large hands over your hips. “Fuck—I need you.” 

How can you deny such a request?

You line the wide head up with your aching center and slowly work him in. Shivers wrack through you, and Maker—he’s splitting you apart, molding your insides to the shape of him. Beads of sweat dot your hairline by the time you’re seated fully on his member, the both of you pushed even closer towards madness.  

Din squeezes your ass and props his knees up, rolling his hips up into you. You whimper and tip forward, propping your palms over his chest as he sets the pace. You may be on top but there’s no changing the bold colors of power and lust that cloud his mind, fueling the brutal movements of fucking up into you. Your thighs burn already and Maker—why the fuck are you already tired? You’re not doing any of the work.  

Quicker than lightning, Din curls forward and manhandles you onto your back. You squeak as he grips your thigh and yanks it around his narrow hips, thrusting in deeper. His right hand crawls up the front of your shirt and wraps his fingers around your throat in a loose hold. His thumb hovers over the dip at the base of your neck but he makes no move to press down—just allows the weight of his palm to do the work. And fuck—it works. 

Choked garbles of his name pass through your lips as you buck and squirm in his hold, feeling your arousal begin to drip down the back of your thighs. You’re skirting the edge of sizzling release that alights your nerves with liquid wildfire. Your nails harpoon into the meat of his shoulders as your eyes squeeze shut. Din won’t allow it.      

“Look at me,” Din snarls, yanking your head back by your hair. “I want to—to watch you cum for me.” 

A blush scalds your cheeks but you listen. Your eyes flutter open for him, sliding to the dark shadows of his eyes that sweep you into their own gravity well with no hope to escape. You don’t mind. 

“You’re so g-good for me—always so perfect.”

White hot light bursts behind your eyelids, and that’s all it takes. Your body seizes, your cunt squeezing impossibly tight around his cock as you cum. This one is different—steals your breath away and leaves you a broken husk of a person lost in most delectable forms of agony and pleasure. The cry of his name pierces the air only spurring the Mandalorian into a jarring pace to seek his own peak of ecstasy.  

Din’s nose nuzzles into your neck, his pants hot and sharp against your flushed skin. “You f-feel so—fuck. Say—say my name.”

You leap to his request and with a playful nip to his earlobe, you whisper it to him with the sweetness of starcherrries and the promise of better things. 

He tips over the edge, his hips faltering into no discernible pace as he cums. Din buries his teeth into the skin below your jaw, a mess of whines and begging gasps of nonsense as he fills your cunt to the brim. 

Your harsh breathing mingles as you both lazily slip down from your high. He rests his head over your sternum, listening to your beating heart that drums in a wild staccato as your fingers carefully comb through his hair. If not for the ache in your hips you’d keep him here forever. Din pulls out and you both groan at the loss. 

He doesn’t completely move away and you’re glad for it. He brushes his knuckles down the expanse of your cheek and dots a tender kiss to your hairline. Your name rumbles low in his throat as he shifts lower and gives your ear lobe a playful nip. His stubble scrapes along your neck, and you can’t help but giggle and squirm—but the weight of his body keeps you pinned. Your name slips from his lips a second time, breathy and drawn out in a sweet sigh, like he’s savoring the sound of each syllable and roll of the tongue. 

Din lifts his head, only slightly—near enough that his nose bumps into yours and his lips scrape along yours that are still parted and wet. “I—can I tell you something?” 

You cup his cheek and steal a kiss. It’s supposed to be quick—but instead he leans into it, guiding your mouth into a slow dance of sticky sweet movements that are caught in a slow draw, like crystalized honey abandoned in a glass jar. You’re enraptured by his touch—his skin mottled with scars yet somehow still unfairly soft. He smells of snow—like metal and soap and something gentler, that’s uniquely Din.            

Fuck—you can feel your mind slipping away, wrapped up so snugly in his presence you almost forget to answer. “Yeah—anything.”

Crackling static suddenly rips through the cave, startling you both. A distorted voice chatters on the comlink that lies forgotten beside your pants. It blinks and the transmission ends just as abruptly. With a sigh Din brushes it off and tilts his head to tempt you into another kiss but—

Whoever’s trying to patch through is persistent. 

His lip curls in a scowl and snatches the comm. “Jorhaa’ir.”

You only catch your name being mentioned twice as rapid Mando’a is exchanged. Aeris maybe judging by the tone, but no that’s not right.   

“Wait—is that Paz?”

The muscles in Din’s shoulders tense, confirming your suspicion.

“Is everything ok?” Din doesn’t resist you when you pry the comlink out of his fingers and patch in. “Paz?”

Your heart skips a beat. 

“There you are,” the comlink crackles and you smile. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?” 

Stars—you didn’t think you’d miss hearing Paz’s voice. Your chest aches. 

The conversation is short, he asks you how you are and when you’re coming home and in the time it takes to answer, Din is peeling himself from your body. While you're distracted, he pulls on his pants and sits at the edges of your vision.

You both pretend when you say goodnight to Paz, return the comlink and crawl into his arms that nothing has festered with savage detachment. You don't remember to ask him what he was going to say and he lets you forget. The golden heart that bleeds molten ichor slips from your sight and becomes shut behind walls of beskar and bushes of thick thorns and overgrown ivy.         

He still holds you, but it’s the coldest you’ve ever been. 

Tag List: @teaofpeach @corrupt-fvcker @nelba @datmando @ben-is-a-hoe @dreams-like-clockwork @aeryns-library @auty-ren @huliabitch @anxiety-riddled-mando @phoenixhalliwell @cptnbvcks @thesoftdumbass @krissology @starlite41 @legally-a-bastard @basslinedweller @cloud-of-roses @elenamiria @goldafterglow @maybege @equalstrashflavoredtrash @wandxrlust @hdlynnslibrary @calamity-queen @sgtbookybarnes @pinkninja190 @lackofhonor @darthstyles @spacegayofficial @absurdthirst​ @blue-writes-a03​ @max--phillips​

[souichieatr]

wanna be yours, ch2

suna x freader , foxy boy

where in which two opposites fall in love

a/n: for everyone who commented on the posts youve been added sorry i cant reply <//3 if you're interested in being in the taglist send me an ask, i was thinking of making a playlist for the au would anyone be interested? lmk !! sorry if there are any mistakes or if its bad this is my first writing <3

ch1. this voice im hearing rn? , hey bestie

word count: 2,090

the first song- The Ghost of You- my chemical romance

second song- I Bet on Losing dogs- mitski

third song- Crybaby- destroy boys

pocketing her phone after reading tendous message, she opens the door waving to a couple friends and offers friendly smile taking her seat. a pair of pale green eyes follow her. after yesterday suna did a little research about her y/n y/l/n the bassist and youngest in the band called 4u, she has quite a big following on twitter, she's really nice and interacts with the fans. looking at her now you can't imagine her on stage suna thought. breaking away from his thoughts as the teacher walks in. spouting for about what feels like hours and the students taking notes, finally lunch approaches. y/n jumps from her seat grabbing her case she walks to the third year hallway. waving to her friends they walk to her, tendou wrapping his arms around her “y/n!!!!!! i missed you” laughing as she hugged him back “tendou!!! i missed you toooo.” she turns to the grey haired male, “semisemi!!” she says giving him a hug, he rolls his eyes and hugs her back “and ushi!!” she turns to the brunette to which he pats her head “good afternoon y/n.” as they go to the lunch room to grab their lunch, they walk to one of the music rooms they usually occupy. a beep from her phone grabs her attention seeing her friend atsumu asking if him his twin and their friend can join for lunch, “hey guys you dont mind if atsumu and his friends come join us?” she says setting down her case against the wall. “nah you can invite them, atsumu is our biggest hype man” tendou says, grabbing his drum sticks from his back pocket. texting him its cool she goes to unzip her bass. “oh ms lady ive missed you” she says hugging the instrument, “i can't believe you two and always wanting to play, dont yall have any other hobby?” semi says, grabbing the schools given guitar setting the speaker up for y/n. tendou gives a scoff “semisemi dont act like you hate hearing us play i see you listening to our covers alllll the timeeeee” he says “yeah semi besides we have a concert soon and it wouldnt be bad to have an audience” y/n says walking to semi to connect her bass to the speaker when the door opens, entering is atsumu in the middle, osamu on his left, and a mystery guy in the back. setting her bass down running up to the blond “tsumu!!” giving him a hug “y/n!!” he hugs her back, she waves to osamu, who shes met on an occasion. looking towards the dark haired guy she walks up to him, noticing shes seen him somewhere. “youre suna right? we're in the same class?” she says giving him a hand and a awkward smile, nodding at her words. “hope its okay im here” he says taking her hand giving a slight shake. “nah dont worry its nice to have a different face, seeing tsumu is getting boring” turning around to the male. “what she means to say is we could use practice in front of new people” the grey haired male says giving a small laugh when tendou scoffs at him, both guys walking towards the small group. “this is semi and this is tendou” she says introducing them. when the introductions are over the two males go back to setting up, y/n walks the newcomers to the sitting area “here you guys can sit, im sure you all know ushijima” on hearing his name he looks up from his name giving a small head bow. they all sit “any recommendations tsumu?” y/n says walking to her bass making sure everything was good, looking towards the small group. “y/n you know my favorites” atsumu says stealing one of his brothers onigiri. y/n laughs and rolls her eyes, turning to tendou “anything you wanna try tori?” tendou looks at her with a smile “y/n lets show semi whatweve been working on” hearing this semi looked at them “what do you guys mean? what did you two do” y/n chuckles at the grey hairs doubtful expression “mr semisemi you know your favorite mcr song” when she sees him nod she continues “me and tori learned it” she says pushing him lightly. semi looked at her with wide eyes then at tendou, looking at semi tendou flicked his drum stick between his fingers with a nod. “wow semi cant believe you, we spent so much hours perfecting a my chemical romance for your sap self and he doesn't believe us y/nie i might

” tendou says fake sniffing. the little group in the back beyond confused, atsumu clearing his throat “have you three forgotten us already, wheres our show” ushijima nodding his head “yeah why are you guys being so vague” tendou snickers “dont worry you three and wakatoshi we have decided to play a new song or well cover i should say” “yeah and its semi’s favorite band you know the one that he wears on his shirts?” ushijima looking towards the girl after hearing her statement he nods. “okay can we play now ive been waiting to show my skills and get our lovely semi's opinion” y/n says removing her pick, both boys giving a ‘yeah’. finally tendou does the countdown. suna looks at all three of them with slight excitement in his stomach, ‘is this a new song im going to hear?’ before he could think of anything else, semi started playing a few chords by himself and y/n starting to add her own strums then tendou adding drums. sunas eyes widen at how well all the sounds blended together, freezing in his spot when semi started singing, when hitting the chorus y/n joins him. suna looking at her, he felt like he had been put in a trance, feeling like theres a spotlight on her when she starts nodding her head seeing her tongue sticking out when stringing the instrument. towards the end you can see y/n lose focus and her eye twitches, ending the song she sighs. “hey sorry about the end” waving to the guys to her left with a frown. hearing applause from the group the frown doesnt last long. “WHOOO!!!!! THAT WAS MY BESTIES GO SEMI! GO TENDOU! GO Y/N!!” atsumu gets up and yells. “that was so good what the hell that was yer first time too?” he says going up to the group, high-fiving y/n. “i mean me and tendou practiced together but semi basically has every song by them memorized but together? yeah our first.” tendou getting up to get his water that was next to ushijima. semi joining the fake blond and the girl, patting her on her back “that was a good first for us i can tell you and tendou worked hard, we're definitely adding it to the set list.” getting a laugh from both of them semi walks to the small group. “hey man that was really good, you have a nice voice” suna says as semi approaches, semi turned to him surprised “oh thank you im glad you enjoyed, do you listen to our stuff?” he says taking a seat next to him. “ive recently just started, i hope that doesnt sound too weird” the dark haired suddenly getting a little embarrassed, chuckling “its not weird i promise, well its good you listen to us or im sure it would've been awkward to just be here” nodding along to what he said. tendou going back to the drums “are you cowards tapping out now?” “COWARDS?!?!” y/n yells back turning around “i am no coward tendou satori i'll make you eat those words semi get over here” she said grabbing semis attention and shooing atsumu back to his seat. chuckling as he sat back down, turning to suna “howd ya like em? theyre good huh?” suna rolling his eyes “im not going to help inflate your ego tsumu” “yeah tsumu yer big ego is not cute” gasping to their remarks “you guys are so mean to me, i introduce you to nice music and even the artists and this is the thanks i get” before any could respond tendou starts clicking his sticks. starting this one is tendou with a slower sound, y/n entering second then semi with vocals. y/n leans down to mess with something by her foot turning a notch noises like static come out adding to the music, coming up fast she starts adding her vocals complimenting semis. pressing on the box she leans down as more noises come out. atsumu leans over to sunas ear “thats a pedal that holds other sounds and can help stretch other sounds” suna giving him a nod. towards the end y/n reaches down to the pedal again adding a distorted sound before adding her last bit of ‘oohs’ before the song ends. everyone clapping as the members stay still for s bit before y/n dramatically bows “youre so welcome lovely audience” she says blowing kisses to them, laughing at her atsumu jumps up and down pretending to be a crazy fan “oh y/n you were so go

od i love you y/n!!!” y/n laughing at him. “hey atsumu what about me!” tendou asks swinging his hand “howd i do?” “oh tendou you were so good, i love you too tendou!!!” he says swinging his arm back. tendou satisfied with his response nods his head, “and with that lets play one more i still want time to actually eat before we play again later.” “yeah lets try ‘crybaby’ we haven't done that in awhile” semi says getting in position.“remember y/n you do the verses” y/n nods clearing her throat “go tori” she says and tendou starts the counting again. starting the counting fast he gets one beat then y/n starts off with singing, swinging her bass back she grabs the mic. suna cracks a smile nodding his head a little as he remembers this song on their youtube, atsumu whistling when y/n dips down her mic as she sings, letting the boys have a solo in between verses she bobs her head. the last few seconds of the song she swings the instrument back as she steps on the pedal creating feedback, as semi goes to vocals she starts getting a solo with tendou playing, y/n leans forward and her and semi sing the rest of the song. after the last note they all look out of breath. clapping for them again letting them catch their breath, y/n starts laughing “i forget how hard that song is towards the end” laughing with her tendou nods “its literally the last 50 seconds that get the hardest” “alright lets clean up” semi says laughing at both of their bored looks they send him. finishing up they all go to the group whove are talking among themselves. sighing as she sits y/n takes the seat next to suna, “so howd you like the songs?” she says with a smile “they were good though i only recognized the last one” he replies, “tsumu told me you started listening to us recently so i thought or well semi thought wed show off a bit with our best song being that” she says with a smile grabbing her bottle. a small smile appears on his face “oh hey tsumu told me youre like really good in your classes and i really need help in history and since we have that group project coming up do you wanna pair up?” she says setting her bottle down grabbing a bag of chips. “yeah i dont mind as long as you actually do something and i can help you study if your grade is that bad” he says. “thatd actually help me out a lot i really appreciate it” she lets a breath out. after that the two spent all lunch just talking, the conversation coming easy for both of them. hearing the bell ring y/n hugs her friends and walks with suna to their class, pairing up in the project the teacher had given them in their period. after class before y/n rushed out she passed him her number with a wink “text me for the deets foxy boy.” ‘foxy boy? suna thought to himself shaking his head texting her with a simple ‘hey its suna’ and heading home.

facts !

during lunch when suna and y/n we're talking the followed each other on twitter

semi was really touched they learned the mcr song

the 4u concert is at a small venue but no one really cares about the other groups going there

osamu and atsumu almost started fighting over the onigiri until suna said something about ushijima being right there

atsumu was watching suna and y/n talking

osamu actually really enjoyed being there during lunch

—taglist

@applekenm , @xhanjisungiex , @astronomyturtle , @sirachano0dles , @yn-tingz , @killmepls-uwu , @bakugouswh0r3

[scaredandbored]

frailty, thy name is leonard mccoy

(title is a rip-off of shakespeare’s line “frailty, thy name is woman” from hamlet)

warnings : THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE WARNINGS

 1- look bones gets kidnapped by aliens who are totally against their planet’s agreement with the federation and he gets beaten up pretty bad. im not sure how to warn specifics for this, but there’s physical violence and blood and stuff so if you don’t like that, this isn’t for you

2- this is my first time writing with a vague plot in mind so please feel free to tear into it with the ol’ constructive criticism

3- there IS a lengthy discussion of a “global viral pandemic” but it ain’t covid and it ain’t earth so s’long as words like “outbreak” “viral” “pandemic” “global pandemic” “isolation” etc don’t bother you it should be ok

4- bones is in it so there is cursing. also spock kinda gets Overly Protective so if yall dont like that give this one a skip (not that im always shit at writing spock anyway)

5- oop character death didn’t expect that but the plot goes where the plot wants to go

no editing we die like men

it IS a spones fic who do you think i am   

words : 3,523

When the Anti-Federation Rebels did not return by the time Leonard’s throat had begun to itch with thirst, he started to realise that he wasn’t critically injured Had any properly trained Starfleet officer been put in his situation, they probably wouldn’t even bother showing up to medbay at this stage. But he wasn’t properly trained. Just a bumbling country doctor the fleet had stupidly thought would thrive while being held responsible for the lives of the entire crew of their flagship. He wasn’t built for this kind of thing, he wasn’t trained. Physically and emotionally weaker than the rest of the crew, and completely ignorant of the politics and mind games involved in space travel; he was in pain. All he had wanted was to try and stop the spread of the virus, and look where that had gotten him.

He’d strong-armed Kirk into taking this mission. Pulled in a few favours. He’d not been keeping a particularly close eye on the negotiations happening between the official representatives of Caughlaigh and the United Federation of Planets, but when he’d heard about the viral outbreak on the main content of the planet, Leonard McCoy knew they weren’t equipped to handle the situation. The night he first heard about the outbreak, he’d asked Kirk what he’d known about Caughlaigh, to which the captain had responded : “To be perfectly honest, not much, Bones.”, before neatly taking Spock’s rook with a knight. Spock had raised an eyebrow at Leonard’s sudden breaking of the comfortable silence in the room. The eyebrow crept a millimetre higher at the captain’s unprecedented move. Leonard decided to drop the conversation and forget about it. He knew he didn’t know everything about the situation. He knew Starfleet would’ve looked at the medical capabilities of the people of Caughlaigh and reacted accordingly. He knew Spock was underestimating the importance of that particular move made by Jim. He’d thought maybe he was underestimating the Caughlaigh officials. Jim had won that particular match. 

Two days later, a recommended news story on his personal PADD told him the situation on Caughlaigh had escalated from an outbreak to a pandemic. There were cases in every settlement on the main continent, and the spread of the virus to the other two smaller continents was inevitable. He’d hung behind after watching Spock destroy Jim at chess three times in a row to tell the captain what he’d learned. Jim had smiled softly in the way he always did when Leonard was being unnecessarily worrisome. “I’m sure the powers that be are making sure no-one is in any real danger.” A friendly clap on the shoulder that the rest of the crew would’ve taken in their stride shook McCoy slightly. “Now, I recommend you get yourself a good night’s rest, Bones.” Leonard had grumbled something about not knowing Jim had gotten a medical license.

Another two days later, another recommended news story. The first deaths from the virus had happened in the epicentre of the pandemic, the largest settlement on the main continent had lost their main healer and her most trained assistant. McCoy set up his PADD so that any articles regarding the Caughlaigh Pandemic would be automatically downloaded, available to read even if they entered some electromagnetic storms or some other astro-phenomenon he didn’t fully understand.

A week later, three inhabitants of one of the smaller continents passed away. Leonard had gone to Jim with the intention of seeking comfort from the closest thing he had to a friend on this godforsaken tin can. He’d come back six hours later with a promise from his captain and Starfleet that the Enterprise was going to assist with the Caughlaigh situation.

A day later, Leonard hand picked multiple ensigns and a few nurses to take with him to the surface to work on the frontlines. Commander Spock had formally contested the logic in sending down the ship’s chief medical officer to work in a hospital instead of working on a cure back at the ship. Leonard’s friend Spock had requested he be unwavering in his sanitation and self-preservation on the surface.

He’d only been on the surface for a week when he’d been knocked out while he was scrubbing up for a surgery. The anti-federation rebels had noticed his uniform and taken him for a great deal of questioning. They used a method that was rather... forceful. 

They had left him alone, finally. Maybe they had realised he wasn’t going to cooperate. Most likely they were taking a break to make sure they didn’t render him useless before they could exploit him for information. Lucky for him.

Leonard McCoy didn’t enjoy bright lights at the best of times; as a boy growing up in Georgia he’d always been mocked by his peers for his adverse reaction to the harsh sunlight, whether it was violently scrunching up his face or wearing sunglasses every time he stepped outside the door. He’d eventually stopped wearing the sunglasses, migraines be damned. A kid can only take so much ridicule. Now, decades later, he found himself irrationally wishing he’d taken his sunglasses with him. He had to focus on how much the harsh, almost surgical lights were paining him. Had to, unless he wanted to focus on the rest of his aching body. 

He could heard the sound of his captors making their way back into the room he’d been strapped up in, and began to pull helplessly at his bonds, which did nothing but give him friction burns around his wrists and ankles. He tried to speak but instead of his voice, a pained hiss of air rushed out from somewhere low in his throat as a clawed foot connected with his stomach.

Clinically, Leonard registered the puncturing of the skin over his stomach, but failed to extrapolate any further medical analysis as pain seared from the wounds. A fist connected with his nose. There was a crack, then more pain. He could feel blood rushing down his lower face, could feel it looking between his lips, could taste it when his mouth opened in a gasp for air as something constricted his breathing.

Thrashing his head, Leonard desperately tried to get a glimpse of who was in the room with him, tried to figure out where they were coming from, where they’d hit him next, but the lights were blinding him, his eyes were burning, he was pretty sure his nose was broken, he was bleeding, he... he was alone.

An open palm struck his face while another clawed foot pressed painfully at the base of his spine. It was probably his imagination, but Leonard thought he could hear his old bones creak and groan under the pressure.

His lips grew tacky with the blood that continued to gush from his nose, and his head spun. He couldn’t stop himself from jerking his arms instinctively to press against the throbbing wounds to his stomach, which caused the restraints on his wrists to dig into his skin.

A cold, almost-leather strap was clamped around his neck, and it was tight, much too tight. He tried to tell them, desperate mewlings that went ignored as his nose kept bleeding and his stomach kept churning and he couldn’t think and then there was a strong, cold, seven fingered hand gripping his jaw, forcing his chin up.

A growl, from someone Leonard couldn’t see, corresponded with a significant tightening of the grip on his jaw. His head was full of feathers, he was sure of it. A soft, swan-like down that was probably stained brick red from the steady stream pouring out of his nose, out of his gut-

He felt his jaw shatter and his head hit the ground.

***

“Bones, please respond.” The captain had been comming his CMO for upwards of an hour now, ever since he failed to give his morning report. He hadn’t been particularly worried about Bones’s failure to report precisely on time; he’d always had an awful internal clock. The only reason he was starting to worry now was that his away team hadn’t seen Dr.McCoy since lunchtime yesterday. 

Now, if it had been an away team of senior officers, he’d believe Bones would’ve felt no need to check in with the crew, but he’d taken down a bunch of ensigns to try and give them some experience on the field, and Bones was the biggest mother hen Jim had ever met. “Spock, life signs?”

Spock hadn’t looked up from his console all morning, which was a worry in itself. “The doctor removed his comm badge before retiring last night, earlier than normal, captain. He has not reattached it since.” 

“You’re telling me we can’t find him?” Jim was trying to keep his professionalism, but when his friend was unaccounted for on a politically volatile planet, he thought he could be forgiven a little terseness. 

Spock took longer to reply than usual, his hands fiddling with what Jim knew to be more sensitive equipment than their general sensors. “There is no terran life-forms outside of the planet-side transporter location within our sensor range, captain.” 

“And what exactly is our sensor range, Mr.Spock?” Angling for less confrontational, Jim found himself using a tone of voice he knew Spock had difficulty discerning whether it was angry or not. To make up for this, Jim perched himself on the edge of Spock’s console, placing his hand on the back of the chair and leaning in closer so he could look at the readings himself. 

“We can scan the entire surface of the planet with the assistance of the numerous towers planet-side. However, we can only penetrate approximately six feet below the surface due to the composition of the planet’s soil. It contains isotopes which-”

“Thank you Mr.Spock, I understand.” Normally, Jim would indulge Spock in his analysis, but time could very well have been a resource they were lacking. “Six feet, you say?”

“Affirmative, captain.” Spock was looking directly at him, his normal micro-expressions invisible to Jim. 

“Well, at least we know he’s not dead.” 

“Captain?”

“I’ll explain later, Mr.Spock. Mr.Scott?” The crackle of the infamously bad reception from the engine room rang over the bridge’s intercom. 

“Aye, captain?”

“Any chance we could get those sickbay kids back onboard?”

“Aye sir. I had someone repair those transporters this mornin’.”

“Excellent. Bridge out.” Kirk took a steadying breath. Just one. He couldn’t let the panic he could feel settling low in his chest affect his ability to command the ship. Especially when the livelihood of the ship’s CMO depended on that ability. “Transporter room?”

“Sir?”

“Have we got a lock on the away team?”

“All bar one, captain. Do you have the coordinates of Dr.McCoy?”

“Not right now, no. Beam up the rest, and have them report to my ready room.”

“Aye, sir.” 

Jim closed his eyes for a moment, vaguely aware of Spock standing up from his station. “Alright, Mr.Spock. Let’s find out what we can from these officers before we go jumping to any conclusions.” 

***

Leonard woke as his head was thrown against what felt like a stone wall, blood bubbling in the back of his throat. He could only hope the blood was from his nose and not his lungs, although both his face and chest were aching equally. 

A hand pinned him to the wall by the back of his neck, grinding his face against the gritty surface. Tiny pebbles scraped at the skin of his face, and he could feel his head spin as concern about an infection flitted in and out of the overwhelming bouts of different kinds of pain. A burning pain on his face from the fiction between his cheek and the gravely wall, a sharp pain in his nose (broken, if the amount of blood pooling above his upper lip was anything to go by), another sharp pain somewhere on the back of his head (sticky substance on back of neck: sweat or blood?), various, almost insignificant pains along and around his torso, an overall stiffness, and, oh Jesus. 

A shriek ripped its way out of his severely dehydrated throat as a scaled fist collided with his side, tugging at the skin which they had haphazardly sewn back together while he’d been knocked out. The area around the wound was warm, and the second the fist made contact with his side he could feel something oozing out of it. Not good, his brain helpfully supplied. The scream that had perforated the room left him whimpering in pain, his jaw a horrific cocktail of sharp, stabbing pains and dull aches, a bitter metallic taste stinging at his taste buds. 

A voice, speaking a language he didn’t know, was coming from somewhere in the room, too far away to be his assailant. Then, right beside his ear, from a tongue not designed to verbalise Standard : “They come.” 

Leonard could feel a sharp talon being pressed against the junction between the hinge of his jaw and his ear, not piercing the skin, not yet. It took him a while to try and figure out what they meant, then he gave a sharp, barking laugh followed by a coughing fit, splattering the wall he was pressed against. Jesus Christ. “You’re on some goddamn dumb shit if y’all think they ain’t halfway across y’all’s galaxy by this point.” 

The faraway, foreign vocalisations. The talon jabbed forcefully into his skin, making him groan, feeling a warm trickle of blood slither down his neck to pool with whatever was dripping down the back of his neck. 

He’d been crying since before he’d woken up, at least he thought so. “They ain’t comin’ you goddamn idiots, get your paws the fuck offa me.” His voice was thin and non-threatening, even to his own ears. The talon dragged itself down, towards his carotid artery. Leonard’s shriek was trapped in his throat as he squirmed, pressing himself further into the wall in a pathetic attempt to escape the motion. He could hear the owner of the slowly advancing talon release a hiss, before jerking it back up to his ear, deepening the wound. 

He could hear his own sobs bouncing off of the walls, echoing around his head. They weren’t coming. They couldn’t come, they’d get caught too, they had to leave him. The shudder that ran through his body tugged at the rancid stitches in his stomach, the shifting of his clothes hitting him with his own stench: dried blood, fresh blood, sweat, urine, and vomit. 

Must’ve thrown up while unconscious.

Why didn’t I choke on it, damnit?

His stomach heaved, his stitched popped, and he felt himself crumple, but was unconscious before he felt to the ground with a dull crack.  

***

“Captain it’s been three days-”

“I won’t give up the search-”

“I would not suggest we cease our search, captain. I was suggesting you allow me to proceed ahead at my own pace, as I believe I will be more efficient in locating the doctor than the security team.”

“I need you here, Spock.”

“You do not.”

Jim had never seen Spock like this before, never born witness to his unwavering loyalty secondhand. He was used to being found by a Spock who had already begun to lose his  version of a frantic disposition. He did not know what to do with a Spock who looked like he was going to go ahead with his own plan regardless of orders received. “Spock-”

“You have many competent officers aboard who would be willing to assist you in interviewing the locals.”

Jim tilted his head, giving his first officer a warning look which he had a feeling went ignored. “Are you suggesting my search team is incompetent, Mr.Spock?”

His eyebrows jumped as Spock clearly opened his mouth to give his agreement. Spock quickly checked himself and closed his mouth, took a deep breath, then leveled Jim with a look he knew all too well. Spock had picked it up from him. “I am merely noting your CMO has been missing for three days, presumed in mortal danger.” It was a vulcanised version of the look Jim got before disobeying a direct order from a superior.

“I need you back alive. Both of you.” 

Spock blinked once in what Jim hoped was a promise before he was gone.

***

The team of redshirts trailed behind Spock as he followed the sound of a gentle scraping his human teammates had not been able to hear. The sound grew louder as they wound their way through a cave system that was almost too dark for him to see in. Spock’s already brisk pace grew even faster as a pained groan joined the scraping noise, an eerily human expression of pain. 

The team following him broke out into a full sprint the second they heard a yell coming from directly ahead. Spock froze at the familiarity of that yell. He’d heard it more times than he cared to, and his stomach lurched at what it implied. Snapping into action, he easily outstripped the rest of the team, who yelled for him to stop. 

Spock did not stop.

He burst into a wide open cavern flooded with bright light, felt his second eyelid slide shut, and in the split second it took for his eyes to adjust, there were three pairs of eyes fixed on him. Two threatening, reptilian humanoids watched him carefully, as Spock stood, frozen. McCoy was looking at him, but his eyes were glazed over, his face gaunt and bloody, his bare feet slipping in a puddle of his own shockingly red blood as he was held up by his neck by one of the two friendly locals. Spock felt cold, and he could feel his heart drop to his pelvic girdle as he was unable to see the rise and fall of the doctor’s chest. He couldn’t move. The captors were stood in shock, uncertain what to do with their intruder.

“S....Sp....” McCoy blinked slowly and tried to speak. The sound of his voice struggling up through a restricted throat, past a mangled jaw, desperately trying to form the sounds of his name brought a fury Spock had never known.

He felt a growl rumble in his chest, and when the lizard holding McCoy by the neck gave the doctor a shake, Spock launched himself. He was vaugly aware of a scuffle ensuing behind him, but his focus was totally on pulverising this creature who had dared to try and take Leonard from him. 

Wrapping an arm around Leonard’s chest elicited a pained mewl from his tiny doctor, which sent another surge of red through Spock, as he shoved the creature away from them instead of trying to pull Leonard away, but the creature dug its talons in instead of letting go. Spock could feel Leonard jerk forward, pulled by the nails embedded in his neck. A strangled noise left Spock as he leaned forward and sank his teeth into the hand, which released Leonard in surprise. Immediately, Spock slipped McCoy behind him, his concern slowly growing to outtake his anger as Leonard’s pained noises grew more and more frequent. Backing into a corner, Spock’s eyes did not leave the advancing opponent.

There was a flash of light, the lizard fell, and Spock immediately turned to Leonard, his hands flying to the psi-points on the doctors face without hesitation, totally unaware of the frail hands shakily trying to pry him away. Spock joined to McCoy without hesitating, ascertaining the extent of the damage.

That wasn’t a very good idea, darlin’. 

Spock had not wanted his first meld with Leonard to be like this, not filled with more pain than he knew the doctor could withstand, not feeling the ghosts of what he knew, logically, were recent, fatal wounds, and older, debilitating lacerations and fractures.

You may not leave. 

Since when have I ever done what y’told me to, Spock?

His thoughts were... surprisingly direct for a human untrained in vulcan ways, but the way they were growing gradually quieter was enough to send Spock into a panic which he tried desperately to tamp down. 

On Vulcan, one’s spouse always  obeys their husband.

Who’s t’say y’ain’t the one who’s ‘posed to do th’ obeyin’?

Spock felt a flash of pain as Leonard tried to smile, then the connection went dead. 

Leonard had slammed up a mental barrier, and Spock did not have time to wonder where he had learned to do that, not as he was desperately pressing at Leonard’s psi-points while fixedly staring at the increasingly unsteady rise and fall of the his chest. Spock’s gazed fixed in horror at the stark white slip of collarbone protruding from the skin with every inhale. 

By the time the familiar fizz of the transporter surrounded them, Spock was no longer fighting against the mental barrier, but was still unable to make contact with the spirited doctor.

***

Jim had known Spock’s expression had meant he was going to disobey an order. He’d hoped by giving the order Spock had wanted, to bring his two best friends home, to avoid that. He should’ve known better.          

[normal-thoughts-official]

How do you think Magnus told Alec he had a son? Magnus in the middle of the date, so you know that vampire who’s home you broke into while murdering his friends, yeah that one, well funny story... honestly I’m imagining it kind of cracky but it has the potential to be really angsty as well. Feel no pressure to respond if you’re busy but I just really love Magnus and Raphael and you’re one of the few blogs I know that doesn’t characterise them in a bunch of barely concealed racist stereotypes

im never too busy for magnus and raphael asks 👀👀👀 i might take a while to respond (usually with asks i like a lot djdndjdn) but i always love getting asks and answering them, so dont worry about that. especially magnus & raphael asks!!!!!!! they are everything i want out of life

also im happy to hear u like my characterisation of them but yeah this fandom is hell. and trying to think about ppl who post about them frequently and that i trust i was like "bruh there's so little" but anygays @luxxmagnus @maiaisbia (aurora_chiroptera on ao3) @some-thrilling-heroics (yellow_craion on ao3. to be fair she's been more into the old guard lately but still worth a follow) are all mag&raph enthusiasts with good content. @magnusraphaelmaia is basically a reblog blog but it has good shit as well. and those are the ones that come to mind daisndaidas if yall have any other recs im all for it

as for the actual question! oof. idk. id usually say that it’s probably on his clave file, but that’s actually implied to not be true (which makes sense since it was kind of risky for raphael to be camille’s second-in-command if she knew that she was magnus’ son and how much she could use them against each other and just generally not trust raphael, which kind of fucked up his ‘overthrowing her’ plans), since izzy didn’t know about their relationship and neither did simon, or anyone else that i can think of. (and like simon is nosy and literally lived with the vampires so it doesn’t make any sense for him to be like “what is raphael doing here??” when he got into magnus’ house unless it was some kind of secret). and alec also didn’t understand why magnus defended raphael with the whole yin fen thing which also points in that direction

i mean to be fair it could be just that he was overtaken with Rage and Big Brother Instincts, but i do actually think it hadn’t come up before. so probably after that? i actually don’t remember whether or not magnus and alec talked about that whole thing or if it was just swept under the rug as usual, i have a vague feeling that it was mentioned, but i might be wrong. either way i would have loved to see them talking about it. it would probably come in the form of a dramatic revelation like “izzy is my family!” “and raphael is mine”. or maybe magnus got into how raphael would never use izzy or lure her into addiction because he’s also struggled with that (you know a random moment of ooc bull nobody ever talks about? magnus buying the idea that the yin fen thing was on raphael without a second thought. he was all but angry with raphael and that pisses me the FUCK off, because even if it was raphael’s fault - and it wasn’t - he still would?? trust his son enough to ask him about it??? but FUCK logic in this house) and he’s been clean for decades

and alec listens to it all with that frown of his that he has when he’s trying to figure something out, and then, when magnus is done, alec is all like “how do you know all this?” and magnus sighs and is like “because i was the one who rescued him. i watched it all, alexander. i know raphael would never do that to someone. even when he was at his lowest, he never wanted to hurt anybody” 

and alec has that moment of “ah shit i just punched my possible future son-in-law hmmm that’s a problem” and like, look, izzy has many many faults, especially in her relationship with raphael and all the SHIT she did to him, but villainizing him is not one of them. literally the second she had just been caught and was high af and probably knew she would be into some kind of trouble she yelled “alec, it was not his fault!” so i think she would tell him what happened. maybe wouldn’t straight up admit she was the one who got him hooked, but definitely tell him that raphael had nothing to do with this and if anything he ended up in the story because he tried to protect her. which is something he did out of pure selflessness since they were like, literally enemies up to that point

anyway i’m going too deep into my yin fen rant but LOOK I HATE HOW THAT PLOTLINE WAS HANDLED I HATE IT. FUCK VILLAINIZING RAPHAEL FOR THE YIN FEN 20FOREVER. but my POINT is, after that, alec apologizes to raphael eventually, and magnus heals raphael’s wounds, and they both focus on taking care of their respective families as they are BOTH struggling with addiction god fucking damn it they literally ignored raphael trying to come clean! for the second time! fuck this! anyway the point is that at least raphael has gone through this before so he knows it’s possible to pull through, but also, he’s gone through this before so it’s fucking humiliating to go through it again and he needs emotional support, okay?

and alec probably tries to awkwardly help magnus take care of raphael in a very earnest but “hm” way because this whole thing is a mess lmao. and slowly they start to mend that? and alec makes sure magnus knows that this would never be a drawback to him because if anything he loves how caring and generous magnus is? yeah. and i guess that’s my take on how that would come up diahduisa

[kcnnarys]

salima firstly i would like to say fuck you for posting screenshots with my last name in them. i dont care if that was an accident you should have been extremely careful, especially considering your group was so angry about solarbridge getting doxxed a couple months back. rightly angry at that but my point still stands. even if you deleted that post several people would have still seen it

secondly, i will relent that i allowed the f and r slurs to be used in my group chats when i shouldn't have. you are right in the fact that i was complicit and it was unacceptable that i let that happen. i allowed/facilitated an environment of bigotry and i feel awful about it. i should have said something earlier, and that's something ill feel guilty about for a long time

thirdly, im not sure how sending screenshots to people through private messages who i was friends with for months before i knew any of you in that group could possibly be done for clout. and again i have mentioned time and time again that i dont give a fuck about tumblr or anything that comes along with it. but regardless of that the fact that there were some minors in that group is irrelevant because i didnt expose any personal information of theirs, and sending screenshots is far from unconventional or taboo. and if you really want to play the minor card, the some of the people yall were talking shit about in the server were minors

fourthly, in addition to my last point, you want to talk about inappropriate treatment of minors? how about when you all were asking a 14 YEAR OLD which male li she would peg even though she was clearly uncomfortable with it. yall talked about nsfw content openly instead of making a channel for it

fifthly, salima you can act like the voice for POC and call me cracker or whatever but dont forget that you're literally white passing EDIT: i phrased this incorrectly and in a way that was incredibly harmful and insensitive. poc that are white passing do not have the same experiences as white people and it was damaging for me to phrase it in such a way

sixly, i have spoken out many times in support of survivors of abuse, people suffering from extreme mental health issues, etc so it is not unlike me to also support tori as well. if she doesnt want support from me, that's fine i wont force it on her, but to call it performative is highly presumptive of you all and NONE of you have ever considered to factor in what my personal experience with abuse and trauma is. just because i have not shared mine does not believe that it doesnt exist and it is up to me to share or keep it secret. neither one is better but it's my decision.

seventhly, "where was this energy when solarbridge was doxxed?" if you recall correctly or even bother to look i DID stand up for her as well. not only that but i also privately messaged her to see if she was okay and offer if there was anything i could do to help her in any way because that shit is fucked up. just because i was worried that rocket-scientist07 may have seriously harmed themselves and i didnt think people should be making jokes about their potential s*icide did not mean that i wasnt also advocating for her. not only that but that comment was a red herring to try and deflect some responsibility for YOUR mistake.

you're right. these aren't petty arguments and my own faults werent "small slip ups" - they're major issues that i need to take accountability for, but many of you are guilty of the same crimes. and i meant it when i said i was done with all of you. no more baseless accusations. no more vaguing. this has gone WAY too far and now that this is all out in the open i want to never speak or interact with you ever again

[yoshi-p]

everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:

hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.

Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.

the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.

another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)

Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella? 

Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.

You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.

YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.

from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.

Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans. 

over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit. 

WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.

it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.

I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.

FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture. 

Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.

I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.

Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.

I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.

The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.

I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically. 

The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.

its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.

also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you

[alilaro]

. reasons im not apart of the twilight “fandom” anymore :

   long post. the rest is under the cut →

this is dumb, but im just kind of realizing i dont have to prove myself to any fandom. im not in some little clique where I have to know everyone and vice versa. I don't have to draw characters I hate to "stay relevant".

Gods, I've spent so long thinking my self-worth was linked to how much I could produce to this hivemind of people. The notes, the likes, the reblogs. But... I dont know any of those people.

I know who my friends are and what matters to me is them and my followers. Not some collection of 3k people that I'm supposed to feel 'unified' with because of one vague common interest -- but they're strangers! I dont know or care about them -- and I dont have to!

I dont mean that negatively I just mean its true! A fandom isnt like a community or a family, its just strangers until you decide to make some of them more than that.

Its just that... my god... I've spent so long worrying about what people think of me, what they say about me behind their backs. All these people I tried to impress, put on a show for and act a certain way to maintain a social status -- but none of it was real! It was always fake. Pretending to smile and collaborating with people I disliked despite the anxiety and self-loathing it made me feel, that I was happy and enjoying myself, and that the fandom was this niche part of the internet where everyone knows eachother and we all are a family--- but it was always some stupid game. I put of a facade to hide the lies and the shame and the gut-wrenching depression, because "no one likes a downer, arin."

What I'm trying to say is that... fandom life is not for me. I have anxiety, being in this fandom makes me paranoid and nauseous---and while some people thrive, I don't. Its toxic for me and my mental health.

I don't want to be apart of the fandom anymore. I don't want to be associated with the series anymore---I hate it. I literally loathe Twilight as a series so much, same as its horrible author. I have multiple histories involving forced catholic religious worship growing up, and later involvement with a cult. It’s too personal and I know the kind of bullshit “holier-than-thou” hypocrisy that Meyer slips into her narrative because I lived it and I fucking hate it. I dont want to reblog content just because I feel pressured to.

I shouldnt have to silence myself and hide my opinions because they're unpopular and I might be hated. Seeing me or my friends being vagued because of something so petty as not liking certain characters. The raw never-ending paranoia of 'what if they dont like me' 'are they going to make others hate me' 'when am I going to get a callout post.' And I realize I spent all this time trying to get people to like me that I realize some of these people would never return the thought, to worry if they were ever good enough for me.

This is not to shit on the fandom. This is a very personal problem. I've been here since 2011 now and I can't keep playing this game.

My art is my art. I love what I've made the Volturi into like they were my own creations -- and so obviously I am not going to stop uploading them. But I think its also important to differentiate that I am not in the fandom, nor am I a fan. I may have been once, but for my own health I'm cutting my ties.

On a more personal level: my dad almost went to hospital last night and it caused me to have a meltdown, and so ive just been awake all last night thinking about things. And I realized something. 

I tried to like the cullens for a long time but it just reminds me of being in the closet and all the fear and guilt and shame I felt at the time. Liking the Volturi for me is escapism. It always has been that way.

I was only 13 and it was like my link to things that were out of the norm and a community of people were different. No one said it out loud but there was always this silent solidarity with fans I knew that we were “different” (ie non cishet) and it was scary. But things like gender and sexuality made sense there. You weren’t yelled at for doing things to spite canon—because there was never enough given to these side characters that it would matter. You could add whatever and project whatever you wanted onto these characters and for the most part it was accepted.

And then having to come back to friends at school and pretend everything was okay was harmful and damning. Twilight was literally my entire puberty, the transition from child to adult, and the similarities linking my interest with the Volturi is locked tight in my soul. I remember even petty things like seeing my straight friends obsessing over Cullen boys and me having to pretend to agree every time wasn't nice.

I know it’s not really that deep, but the Cullens and seeing it on my dash and people forcing it on me, it feels like some kind of metaphor for be being in the closet again. To conform, to change. To me, the Volturi is a personal metaphor for my growth and straying from normality that was being straight and cisgendered.

And its been many years since then but the ideology is so deeply ingrained within me that even at 22 I can’t just unroot that.

And this is all on me. I get that. I know this isn’t the universal experience for everyone that liked Twilight, but it is my experience, and that matters for something.

I just... want to do my own thing. Without people yelling at me about canon or my headcanons being gross or wrong or ugly. Its tiring. I’m tired. I just need a break.

I hope this makes some notion of sense? Im going through a lot of things at the moment and finding out who I am and what I want in the process. And while the fandom has brought me the privilege of meeting and befriending some of the most absolutely wonderful people I've ever met, its also brought me spite and jealousy and rage, and it just feels like im drowning in it.

Its not personal. And you will barely any notice a change in my posts after this, if any.  I will still upload and reblog like usual but now hopefully with more confidence and a scar thats begun healing. 

I just wanted to clear the air and let yall know where I am right now.

Hope yall have a wonderful day. 🌸🌸

[dreamingkatfish]

Alright, so I’m back expanding upon this idea. So there’s a couple of ways we can have this set up and there’s a couple of vague overarching plots we can have. But to start off I’ll talk about the different methods of going about this idea. So first off, the first idea I had was to (with the author’s permission) just read different fanfics out loud, with someone banter throughout that episode. As long as I manage to get a hold different authors in a timely manner and they are ok with me using their fic for this, then this will be the quickest way for me to make an episode since it doesn’t require much scripting on my part. However, due to what it is, it would sound very awkward to just read the entire fic word for word. Which leads to my second idea, I summarize these fanfics and tell you that way. So I won’t say word for word what’s happening, but you will get the idea. It sounds more natural than the previous idea. However, due to the way, this is set up it will require more scripting too. But not too much overall. The third idea is that I make up stories and news reports myself and use that, then I won’t need to worry about trying to get a hold of different authors and hoping that they are ok with me using their story in my podcast. However, that’s going to require a lot of scripting so podcast episodes may take a long time to come out.

And these are the four plot ideas as is as follows; having it so everytime you listen to the podcast the radio show is actually in a different universe that fits whatever fic is currently being read; The Hostess travels to different universes to find and tell the stories of the Fake AH Crew that belongs to that universe; here’s an idea that harmonicgalaxies had come up with, The Hostess talks about the recent actions and events of the Fake AH crew and slowly becomes more obbessed with them, leading to them trying to learn more and more about them, going as far as trying to interview them at heist or solve police cases about them; and the last idea that harmonicgalaxes helped add a lot to is, that someone spreads a rumor about the Hostess being an informate to the Fakes, I think maybe because of this they get kidnapped by one of the fahc’s enemies so in the meantime somone else is running the radioshow (I feel this would make for a wonderful collab moment), but adding to this is people begin to make similar content and the Hostess would share them, or people send in stories for the Hostess would tell.

So what do yall think would be the best route to take for this? Maybe one specific plotline and method, or maybe an amalgamation of serval plot lines and methods. Since yall are going to be the ones listening I’ll leave this choice in your hands. (Also side note any post I make from here on out about this podcast idea will be tagged with Heisting Rose FM. And I will be tracking that tag so if you got something you want to say or made something for this podcast feel free to tag it with that tag. )

(Wait, shit I forgot one more question, would yall like some instrumentals in the background or should it be silent except for the Hostess talking?)

(also im made a new post since i forgot that reblogs dont show up in tags, whoops)

[a-dracon]

To Allure and Impede

SUMMARY: Marvin Lockens was fifteen when he was brought under Jameson Jackson’s wing and first started learning how to control and use his magic. Since then, he’s met Henrik Schneeplestein, the Castle’s doctor and his father figure, Chase Brody, the Castle’s Third in Command and best archer around, Jackie Bullmon, the Second in Command and Head Guard who’s always wearing red, and Sean McLoughlin, the King Himself, as well as various others. Yet, despite being with them for more than four years and proving to be a skilled mage, they all still treated him like the shy child they first met. And he was tired of it. What happens when he meets a stranger in the woods, who gives him cards to hand out and disappears into the shadows? What happens when he hides it from everyone? What happens at the Masquerade?

W̙͍̠̿̄͘h̬̲͇̻͎̍a̖̣͇̯͌̈͆ͯ̒͊̿t͇̗̖͕̻̽̄̑ ͚̼̜̪̥͎ͪͬ͊ͦͫ̉̚H̻̯͈͎͇͎͇ͣͣ͛͛ͣ̇ã̠̼̝̖̫̌̽ͯ̍̑p̝̌̐̿̔ͩͤṗ̷̻̳ͤ̂͋ͬ̋͒e̫̪̣̽̐ń͓͚̞͈̲̯͡s̶̀̐͋͂̈?̥̖͊͘

Chapter 3 Words: 1439 Warnings: Mental Breakdown, vague mentions of abuse, self deprecating talk A/N: OOOOHHHHHHHH BOY YALL ARE GONNA MURDER ME FOR THIS CHAPTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Not gonna lie i hurt myself writing this. But hey, I TRIED ADDING FLUFF and ended up adding angst too im SORRY. Anyways, all chapters arw under #TAI AU

and btw, thank my beta readers @lin-apples and @jackjames-exe as per usual

previous // next

Inhale. Exhale. In. Out. Left. Right. Left. Right. Blink. Keep running. Dont look back.

they don't care. They can do better. They dont need you. They'll throw you out too.

Marvin kept running. He ignored the branches hitting his face. Ignored the searing pain in his chest. Ignored the cold, the tears in his clothes. Run away from them. Run away from those thoughts. Don't think. Focus on running. Don't let them find you. Hide. Don't disappoint them.

He didn't know when he reached the familiar house, nor how. All he knew was that one moment he was tearing through the mud, falling, running. The next, hes shivering, wet from tripping into the small stream, knocking on the dark wood door.

A woman opened the door, wavy red hair messy and tied back. She blinked for a few moments, before registering how the mage apprentice in front of her looked. "...Marvin? Marvin, hon, what happened?!" She exclaimed, cupping his face and pushing his green hair away from his eyes. "Come in, come in!"

"You...what happened hon? You're covered in dirt and you're wet, Lucy can you start the fire?" She pulled him inside, already working to remove the wet articles of clothing. "Lets get you warmed up so you dont get pneumonia or hypothermia, ok?" Lucy, who Marvin remembers seeing with Henrik and Marissa, had brought over a quilt and handed it to her mother. She promptly wrapped him up, pulling him to the fire. "Come here, tell me what happened. Talk to me."

Marvin was tearing up, shivering and curling close to the mother figure. Everything in his mind was beginning to settle in, and it was terrifying him. But Marissa didn't push, just held him while Lucy wrapped around his waist. ".....it's okay hon, you're alright...you're safe....."

The dam broke, and suddenly he was clinging to her, sobbing, letting everything spill from his lips. Telling her about the woods, the mystery person, the cards. He told her about the ride home, the lies he told, the outburst. He told her about how he snapped, how he ran from them, how he ran away from the castle. He told her about how he was scared and didnt know why, how he was terrified.

The entire time, she listened. She held him close, carding a hand through his green hair. She didn't let go. Lucy had left, most likely to retrieve something to help comfort the apprentice.

" .....oh hon....." Marissa breathed, seeming to hold him even closer than before. "i won't tell Henrik about this, or Jamie. But i do advise you to give those cards away and get rid of them." A whine escaped Marvin's lips. He didnt want to confront them, not now. There was too much fear, too much tension.

Marissa seemed to sense this. "It doesn't have to be immediately, just soon, alright? Now, Henrik isn't due home any time soon, with the masquerade coming up. And I'm not telling anyone about you being here, so if you want to stay for a few days you go ahead. But for now, lets get you cleaned up." The ginger helped him up, guiding him to the guest room. She chuckled, seeing a bunch of her daughter's stuffed animals being spread over the bed. Even Marvin smiled softly at the sight, the 10-year-old's attempt at cheering him up warming his heart.

"There's clothes on the bed. If you need anything either come get me or tell Luce to come get me, okay?" Marissa murmured. "My room is right down the hall."

Marvin was torn. On one hand, he wanted to go in that room and disappear forever. On the other hand, he wanted, no, needed comfort. He needed to be held, to be told it was alright. He needed to feel safe.

He fell onto his knees, wrapping his arms around Marissa. She made a small noise of surprise, but held him tight. It didn't matter that Marvin was an adult, it didn't matter that it had been years since he was held like this. No, right now it was a mother, holding the scared fourteen year old child that was covered in scars and left on the streets to die, all because he had abilities that were feared. All because he didn't know control yet.

She guided him to the bed carefully, turning around only to let him change into more dry clothing, and tucked him in. At one point, Lucy had joined them, curling up next to Marvin. Marissa had smiled, and stayed with them. She hummed a lullaby, only stopping when they were both asleep. Carefully, she took off the mask that hid his scars, and set it on the nightstand.

She smiled, pressing a kiss to both Marvin and Lucy's foreheads. While Marvin was only a little more than ten years younger than her, and found on the streets, he was her child. And just because he was nineteen, that made no difference to her.

Marissa got up, blowing out all but one of the candles. She quietly walked to the door, taking one last glance at the pair.

"Sweet dreams Marvin, Lucy" she murmured, shutting the door.

"You don't really believe her, don't you?" 

Marvin whirled around, seeing the figure of the person in the woods. Around him, there was nothing but a black void. It seemed to be endless, not an ounce of light anywhere. And in the center of it all was a dark silhouette of a person, covered by a cloak. Though, he could see the green eyes underneath the hood, slitted like a cat's.

"You think that you can stay away for a day or two, and everything will be alright?" The male continued, steadily approaching the mage. "You think it will be normal? News flash, Marvin, it won't be! They'll use this against you. Call you a child, make choices for you. Never give you your freedom."

"....whst do I do?" Marvin looked down, defeated. Whoever he was....he was right. They would see him as the baby, the child that was brought to Jameson four years ago. Nothing more.

The figure grinned. " Perform. Pass out the cards. Make yourself known. If everyone loves you, it will be easier for you to have the freedom you crave. The freedom you NEED. The freedom they won't give you."

The world seemed to grow darker, and Marvin could tell he was waking up. "And one more thing. Don't tell her about this. In fact, don't tell anyone." His voice echoed, before the figure surrounded by darkness disappeared from his vision.

"-vie! Marvie!"

Marvin shot up, breathing heavily. He was slightly ahaking, and covered in a cold sweat. Light peeked in from behind the curtains, and a candle close to dying sat on the dresser.

He jumped, feeling hands wrap around his waist. It was Lucy, hair messed up and looking worried for the older male. "....you were shaking and saying things...." She murmured, sounding concerned and scared. Marvin was like her older brother, afterall. And to see him vulnerable....it was scary to see those who are like protectors break.

Marvin breathed a sigh of relief, pulling her in for a proper hug. "Shh, its okay....I'm alright, see? Just a bad dream." He murmured. He was well aware that later he would be handing out cards, giving everyone a hint of magic in their lives. But for now, it felt like his heart was saying that it was best to stay and be a protective older brother. And so he would listen, at least for a little while.

Jameson was pacing. He had hardly any sleep, save for when he dozed off for just over two hours at his desk. So far no one had found him. Jack had to stay in the castle, so he tried to help search in discreet ways. Henrik had stayed as wel, in case Marvin returned or was brought back injured. Chase had taken his horse and combed through the woods, finding nothing but a couple scraps of material too close to the castle to help. Jackie had taken to the streets, having no luck. He even tried Marissa and Henrik's house, but she denied him ever coming by. 

To say he was stressed was an understatement. He was filled with concern, worried about Marvin. It was his fault, he was the one who snapped. And, according to Henrik and Chase, he had been acting weird all day. Yet he never noticed it.

Jameson sat down in his chair, running a hand through his hair and leaning back.

He just hoped Marvin was okay.

WHOOOOOOO okay just a heads up:

Marissa is Henrik's wife. We dont have a canon name for her or her child's canon name/gender. All we know is that Henrik jas a wife and kids, and I had a friend name her. She found Marvin on the street, face scarred up and just overall beaten up. She took him in for just over a year, then he started going with Henrik to the castle to be taught by Jameson. Hee would always go home with Henrik tho.

now you know.

[springblush]

85 questions tag!!

tagged by @kimzeuswoo i love you more than anything adfsjodsifaodi lets go eat chicken nuggets together!!!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

♡ Last…? ♡

1. drink - iced water

2. phone call - to my mom? (i think)

3. text message - one of my mutuals :)))))

4. song you listened to - kangaroo ~ triple position (wanna one) gUYS go listen to wanna one’s comeback, its so goooooood

5. time you cried - yesterday :’))) rip me

♡ Ever…? ♡

6. dated someone twice - ?? ive never dated

7. kissed someone and regretted it - also have never kissed someone before (romantically)

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yeah 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - im still a minor

12. fave colors - pastels!! chromes!! holos!! bright and happy colors!! idk i just dont like green, purple, or browns, but as long as theyre pretty!!

♡ In the last year have you… ♡

15. made new friends - hELL yes a lot of them :)

16. fallen out of love - never been in love....unless you count a bias?

17. laughed until you cried - adsjfoiadsfj every five seconds 

18. found out someone was talking about you - in a positive way? yup. in a negative way? yup.

19. met someone who changed you - yup yup!! lots 

20. found out who your friends are - yUUKI and cHRIS and a loooooot of other people (love yall btw)

21. kissed someone on your FB friend list - ? dont have a fb ? 

♡ General ♡

22. how many FB friends do you have irl - refer to #21

23. do you have any pets? - nope! i actually dont really like animals....

24. do you want to change your name - nope! i really like my name?? i know im weird

25. what did you do for your last bday - had a HUGE bday party with a bunch of school friends

26. what time did you wake up today - 7:30 am, had to go to saturday school :(

27. what were you doing at midnight lastnight? - watching the mbc music show thingy

28. what is something you can’t wait for - idk?? im on summer break so maybe the wanna one concert in san jose cuz i think im goingggggg aiodfjadsoifjad

30. what are you listening to right now - a.c.e. ~ take me higher (it! is! a! fuckin! bop! guys stan talent stan a.c.e.)(theyre also kings of fanservice, like wanted a.c.e. in crop tops? you got it)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i dont think so?

32. something that gets on your nerves - people who arent understanding, people who dont listen, or people who are ignorant. they hurt me more often they think they do.

33. most visited sites - tumblr, youtube, google drive (livin the life of a procrastinator lmao)

34. hair color - chocolaty brown with lighter brown highlights

35. long or short hair - both!

36. do you have a crush on someone - nope! havent had one in awhile

37. what do you like about yourself - nothing lol 

38. want any piercings? - i want more ear piercings but im deathly afraid of needles

39. blood type - also scared of blood, so i dont really know

40. nicknames - just my viet name and chinese name

41. relationship status - single af, dont plan on a relationship for awhile unless someone can meet my insanely high standards

42. zodiac - libra, monkey

43. pronouns - she/her

44. favorite tv shows - we bare bears (a gOD-TIER SHOW CHANGE MY MIND) otherwise i care more about my music than my tv shows

45. tattoos - reALLY FUCKING SCARED OF NEEDLES (like im super severely scared of needles its really bad)

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no, and i hope i wont have to get surgery ever

48. piercings - ears (2 piercings, one on each)

49. sport - taekwondo, does working out count?, dance (something i only do w my sis nothing big)

50. vacations - i! love! traveling! like i’ve gone a lot of places

51. trainers - ? shoes? gym? training? i’ve trained for taekwondo? this is so vague?

♡ More general ♡

52. eating - spicy seaweed

53. drinking - nothing atm

54. i’m about to watch - ??idk??

55. waiting for….. - someone irl to care about me

56. want…. - money, happiness, to be talented, to have the ability to have anything i want, clothes, albums, more money

57. get married - yeah i think i want to have a double wedding with my twin sis

58. career - idk something that pays well and makes me happy

♡ Which is better ♡

59. hugs or kisses - both! im hella touchy soooooo

60. lips or eyes - both

61. short or taller - taller

62. older or younger - im good w both

63. nice arms or stomach - s t o m a c h (do you know how hard it is to get and maintain abs?)

64. hookup or relationship - relationship? im not the hook up type

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant aF im a good child

66. kissed a stranger - i have never kissed someone romantically in my life

67. drank hard liquor - im a minor

68. lost glasses - nope im good at keeping them

69. turned someone down - yeah

70. sex on first date - minor??

71. broken someone’s heart - yeah

72. had your heart broken - yes

73. been arrested - no 

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - yes

♡ Do you believe in…? ♡

76. yourself? - no not really

77. miracles - im not supposed to but idk sometimes

78. love at first sight - no

79. santa claus - uhhhhh no?

80. kiss on first date - maybe it depends

81. angels - i have a lot

♡ Other ♡

82. best friend’s name - vyvi (hate you ****), angelina, angel, ira

83. eye color - dark brown

84. fave movie - big hero six!! also a lot of other disney movies

85. fave actor - dont have one, i probably worry more about my favorite song than my fave actor

uhhhhhhh im tagging: @taeyoming @playfuldisaster @wonboowoo @mlmlucas @godrics @majinstic @smiley-yuta @jeno-screaming @tojaehyun @runjen @wootrble @yoonjisung8th

also dont do this unless you want to and im sorry if you’ve already done this and lastly ignore this if you want to im annoying i know

[leadrains]

hey it's the guy you know that one guy

i keep having to pause because my roommate is blow drying her hair maybe i should just take a minute

ok she's done im starting over cause i only got like a minute in and didnt hear shit

oh yeah this is definitely an 80s movie

why they fighting like that this some gay ass shit

help while i was typing that he said okay boys let's go but it sounded like he said gay boys let's go

💀 the pig dont know how to open a car door? ok

i like the vibes this movie will probably be my personality in a few hours

the kid looks familiar

is that the kid from the princess bride??????

no nvm i dont think it is it's just some other little blonde kid

this seems like it's going to be a decent depiction of siblings which is good bc im physically repulsed by shit portrayals of sibling relationships

the older brother is hot and so is the girl he's staring at

society

hot video store girl is hot

yall dont understand i NEED to be part of a gay vampire gang

why is he stalking her bro just talk to her instead of being a freak

the comic store got me fucked up

hot girl is a vampire okayy

these ppl r about to die

why is all the vampire stuff off screen

why are these teenage boys acting like robots

why dont they just straight up tell him there are vampires

weird ass behavior

i want to live in this movie and also kiss the older brother a little

u dont need star michael baby im right here dont even worry about it

i hope they make him a vampire but not in a bad way

i hope they dont fucking kill him

dontkillhimdontkillhimdontkillhimdontkillhim

make him a sexy vampire please ♥️

why does that child have a poster of a man holding his shirt up 😟 this nigga gay

did he just eat without looking at his food??

oh it's all what we do in the shadows ok

this guy has a crush on michael

i understand

this is some weird ass editing

why is he drinking do much

no biting?

whatever i think i got what i asked for

if he dies im turning this movie off

they couldnt afford the flying visual effects

why is he acting weird

those some dramatic ass bikes

this child has excellent vibes. i need to adopt him

my roommate turned the fucking lights off if i get scared im dying

dont kill ur brother bro

dude what

what da dog doing

where did it go tho

NOT HIM GONNA SNITCH TO MOM LMAOOOO PIECE OF SHIT

that's so funny bye

if my sister was a vampire i wouldnt snitch i would have her turn me

if she refused to i might kill her tho /hj

this is funny also rip to the video store guy

i didnt expect this to be funny

"it was a scary comic mom" gn

so she just didnt go back to the date? or call? i hope the video guy doesnt die

oh hes gonna die

sigh

michael gonna find a dead body or sum

why cant they just say it straight up

oh they fucking ok

this is so aggressively 80s

im only halfway through this lowkey dragging

the mom is nice i think i like her

i hope the video guy isnt dead please

GET YO DOG BITCH

is the video guy a vampire?

that cheese is visibly garlic why wouldn't he just mix some in with cheese

wtf 💀 leave this man alone

are they gonna kill those punks

why wouldnt they just tell him straight up theyre vampires and made him one

the gore looks like jelly

if the kid wasnt here this would just be a drama that child is bringing all of the comedy

i hope this goes well 😖 dont kill them kids

like please fr dont butcher those 14 year olds

why doesnt the kid have any weapons he's just following them

theyre gonna find dead bodies

if this doesnt have a happy ending im gonna be mad

they are gonna wake up

theyre probably already awake

rip that one guy you know that one guy from that one thing

kill the rest of them freaks

not the glitter blood 💀💀

wait is it the kid from princess bride??

hold on

it's not they just look vaguely similar

why was that foot shot necessary 😟

this better go well fr

get yo dog bitch

oh come ON

why dont they turn on the lights 😟

these kids suck

good dog

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

what going on

jumpscare

is that it or

jumpscare again

ok they are destroying this house bro

dial it back man the house is in fucking shambles

death by stereo i love this kid

not the child :(

why is the main vampire being so weird bro just throw down stop hiding

YESSS VAMPIRE FIGHT

this is so stupid haha

OOOOOOO OK

there are dead bodies and blood all over their house

he isnt turning normal?

oh god what's happening

who is it

what's happening

NO NO

wait is it

is it the video guy

DAMN

REALLY

OKAY

interesting

that's actually a really good twist

there was some decent setup

hold on the lights just timed off in my room this is not okay

but this is a really well executed twist

i knew gpa knew what was up

this is a good movie

new comfort movie

new fave

why didnt grandpa warn them 💀

weird ass ending on their faces like that but ok overall 10/10 excellent only thing that would make it better would be if it was gay 🤷🏾‍♂️

watching the lost boys will be liveblogging once again

[iguessiwritestuffnow]

Anastasia AU

So I saw Anastasia (the broadway one) in June and it was amazing like if you get the chance go see it. But anyway, since i’m absolute trash i’m jotting down some ideas for a newsies anastasia AU. (based more on the broadway version than the movie but like the plots aren’t too different so). also yes this AU would make more sense with jack and kath as the main characters (love interest) but when was the last time I wrote something heterosexual?

Note: this turned into a somewhat humorous summary of anastasia feat. javid

-So its 1917 in russia and the royal family is having a great time (said royal family is the Jacobs, but we’ll stick with the name Romanov because ‘jacobs’ is not russian)

-David is like ten or something? Sarah is nineteen, and while she adores her family, she has plans to go to Paris to spend time with her girlfriend  lady in waiting, Katherine. David doesn’t want her to go, so she promises she’ll see him soon and gives him a music box and they sing a haunting lullaby together, etc, y'all now how the story goes.

-like five minutes after Sarah leaves a bunch of revolution people come and kill the nobility for the sake of communism. (i feel rlly bad that Les dies). Sarah finds out about this and is Very Sad

-Time jump like ten years. Russia is now Very Communist and people are generally upset about that. But there’s a Rumor in Saint Petersburg that hey?? Maybe that david kid isn’t dead??????? And it turns out his older sister Sarah, who is currently chilling in Paris with her gf, will pay a Lot for his return

-Jack Kelly and his bff Crutchie are basically poor con artists who are bitter about communism. they want to Leave Russia but that’s Difficult. (crutchie is like thirty something- jack’s 22- cause i need crutchie to be older cause he used to be a count or something?). Jack hears about the missing prince rumor and thinks, hey, i could make money off of that. he ropes Crutchie into helping him, and they buy a music box that probably belonged to David. they’re really pumped about this plan

-who else happens to exist in Russia at the time? a kid named Davey who is currently like 20, and can’t remember the first ten years of his life. he’s spent all of his life travelling Russia with close to nothing and no memories, and he really wants to Leave. someone tells him, hey, hit up Jack Kelly he can get you out.

-so he goes to see Jack and Crutchie, who decide, hey, this kid looks vaguely like David (and has a very similar name, because fuck you i didn’t want to come up with another name). Davey sings an angsty ballad about not remembering shit. Jack is instantly smitten. Jack and Crutchie (who i will now refer to as the Dream Team to shorten things up) convince him that he’s probably a lost prince and davey just. goes along with it.

-the Dream Team tries to teach Davey all the Things about being russian nobility and. don’t do well. its okay they tried. Crutchie actually tries to be nice and helpful. Jack and Davey engage in some banter

.-theres this whole subplot in the musical about this ultra-communist dude and his struggle between wanting to kill anastasia for being a romanov and being in love with her. hes v morally grey and actually kinda interesting but i just. dont want to deal w/his story in this. if yall have ideas on how to include him in this lmk

-Jack sings an Upbeat song about how much he fucking hates Russia but also he loves it???? Davey is smitten (My Petersburg is a Bop listen to it)

-ngl i don’t really remember how this part happened in the musical so im going to go off of what i remember from the movie. The Dream Team + Davey go to rehearse in some old ballroom that used to be used by nobility. Davey has intense flashbacks and ends up singing that lullaby he heard literally ten years ago. He may or may not hallucinate his dead family. 

-turns out everyone Fucking Hates Russia but also loves it.

-they leave russia. Crutchie is pumped to see his friend Katherine, who will hopefully take him, jack, and davey to see Sarah. Jack and Davey are both Nervous

-they arrive near Paris, and the Dream Team rush ahead to relish in the fact that they finally got out of Goddamn Russia. Davey stays behind for three minutes and seventeen seconds to sing about how he’s going to finally find his family??? He’s scared but also happy and just. My boy.

-Crutchie is Very Excited about being in Paris. He was there a lot when he was nobility I guess? He leads a very nice musical number about how great france is. Jack comes to the realization that, wow, after this, he’s probably never going to see davey again??? that sucks. Davey meanwhile is Shook by Paris

-Davey Crosses a Bridge

-also somewhere in here Jack and Davey dance with each other. Its cute and crutchie ships it

-meanwhile, in the Richest part of Paris, Sarah and Kath are a few minutes into Reading Letters and Chill when sarah gets sad. She’s angsty because there have been a bunch of fake Davids and she just misses her little bro:( Kath tries to comfort her gf and give her hope, but Sarah just insists they Close the Door forever. She can’t deal with any more pain. She asks to be alone

-kath goes to a russian club to get drunk (not with liquor!!! fame works quicker!!!) and sing a BOP about missing being russian nobility. (dudes. Land of Yesterday is amazing)

-Crutchie and Kath meet up and Crutchie is like “hey so me and my buddy Jack brought a guy who may or may not be David can we see Sarah?” Kath is worried at first but eventually she agrees cause she and Crutchie are Good Friends (the characters they’re based on have a relationship in the musical but none of that straight shit in my AU)

-Davey has nightmares about All of His Family Dying and Jack comforts him by telling him a story about a parade he was at when he was ten. ten year old Jack had watched a parade of russian nobility, and had such an instant crush on young David that he just. ran out in the middle of the street to see him. David had smiled at him and that was jack’s bisexual awakening

.-In order to Add To the Story of Davey Being David, Jack has Davey retell the story from his POV. he says basically the same stuff, but then adds on that Jack had bowed. But Jack never told him that??? Wow turns out Davey is David!!! What a surprising turn of events

.-Jack and Davey finish the song in a very romantic duet and they’re about to kiss but then Jack bows to him instead

-Crutchie comments on how in love Jack and Davey are and wow this might fuck up the plan

-They go see a ballet. Davey sees sarah and is excited!!! thats his sister!!!! he just needs to convince her of that. Sarah sees Davey and wonders if thats her bro?? but no she cant get hopes up. Jack wants to protect and support davey like a good bf

-Kath recognizes Davey as the kid crutchie told her about and takes him to go to see Sarah while Jack waits outside. Jack convinces himself that they can only win. But… even if it works, and he gets the money, he’s going to lose Davey?? He realizes that he loves Davey and pining ensue

s-in the meeting, Davey realizes that there was a reward for finding David and figures that Jack and Crutchie were just using him and he is pretty heartbroken. he storms off, but Jack stays to try to convince Sarah to talk to Davey again. she respects his boldness and agrees. Jack on the other hand, thinks Davey hates him now and is heartbroken. he decides to leave Paris

-Sarah and Davey talk but she still doesn’t believe him. He shows her the music box and sings their lullaby. Sarah is Convinced and joins in on the lullaby. They hug and share a sibling moment. Its very cute.

-theres a Press Conference about David

-Davey realizes he kinda doesn’t want to be a prince cause he’d rather be gay for Jack. Sarah is chill with that. Davey decides to go after Jack

-Davey nearly gets shot but doesn’t.

-Davey finds Jack being angsty as he’s planning to leave. Jack makes some bs comment like “leave me alone i don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t love me for the rest of my life.” Davey decides Jack is being stupid and kisses him. They leave Paris together and live happily ever after!!

-(Meanwhile, Sarah lives in Paris with Katherine- they are happy and in love. Crutchie mostly stays with them but also joins Jack and Davey regularly on their exploits. Everyone is happy forever.)

so yeah this is stupid