#no time for nap? I’ll take a short one. work is better when I am better. life is better when I am better. I need nap.

[nightsealeafrainwing]

Replacing one bad habit at a time <3

[harstyle]

the styles’ nanny

Summary: Y/N is a twenty-three year old uni student and Harry is a thirty-six year old single dad. Y/N is a part-time nanny and Harry is her employer. Y/N thinks Harry is hot, and Harry… well, he’s a bit confused.

Pairing: plussize-nanny!yn + older-singledad!harry

Word-count: 7.3k

Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking and lashing out during an argument, no happy ending yet

A/N: I don’t know why I keep writing characters that start out insecure but I swear it’ll get better later!! Let me know if you want to read more, I’m thinking maybe three parts? Also, the fact that y/n is plus-size doesn’t really become a big deal in the story, but that was how I originally had her in mind so I’m leaving it that way. Hope you enjoy!

Y/N was twenty three. She was twenty three, and she used to love being twenty three. She used to love going out to party, the feeling of alcohol burning down her throat, the rush of palpable excitement when having sex with people she’d never met before. She used to love that. But she didn’t anymore.

And the reason for that? One Harry Styles.

It was ridiculous, of course; Harry had other companions he could turn to before ever settling on her— oh and not to mention, he was her boss. Yet, it felt daring, like that time she’d fallen in love with her biology teacher or looked differently at her camp instructor in high school. Authority figures did something to her brain, and Harry was no different.

But of course there was a lot at stake and she would never actually approach the idea; it was a fantasy at most. And she thought… as long as she didn’t act on her brain’s poisoning, it would be fine.

“Y/N, did you hear me?”

“Oh,” she was snapped back to her current state following the short distraction, the butter knife in her hand now seeming more dangerous than when she’d held it seconds before. “Sorry, Harry, what was that?”

She swore she could see an amused smile tugging at his lips for a brief second. She’d always wondered what he thought of her.

“Are you free next Thursday? I have this meeting until late and I doubt I’ll be home for dinner—I was thinking you could maybe put Jamie to bed? You can stay the night if it’s too late to catch a train, or just take the other car?”

Y/N’s work day at the Styles’ house ended at five pm most days in time for Harry to get home, but she did adore Jamie, so staying longer wasn’t remotely an issue.

“That’s okay, I can just stay the night like I did last time, if that’s alright?”

Harry had insisted when she’d begun working for him that she have a room in the house where she could take naps to rest or stay the night all together when it got too tiring to catch the train home, and the notion of it had pulled at her heartstrings. He was very considerate and that was rare in bosses.

Harry shook his head, waving her off with ease, “course it’s okay.”

“Great. I should get home, I have an important test coming up tomorrow. Am I good to go?”

He glanced at the clock, noticing how late it had gotten (he’d offered to cook dinner and Y/N had never been one to reject hot men’s company) and cursed quietly to himself. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh no Harry, really, it’s okay!”

“It’s almost eight and I feel uneasy whenever I send you away in the dark. Sides, I’m sure Jamie will love a late road trip to your flat,” he reassured with a smile, standing up as if to restrict her getting a choice and starting to load the plates into the dish washer. “Grab your coat and I’ll wait by the door. I’ll get Jamie.”

Y/N did love the way he asserted his wishes to her, kind but dominant in his decisions. He didn’t let her deter him and she, for one, didn’t mind it at all.

“Okay, thank you.”

“No problem, love.”

—

“Can I please just get one scoop? Please?”

“I’m sorry, buddy, we just don’t have any ice cream! I would let you have it if we did, but we don’t. Is there any other snack you’re interested in?”

Jamie was being fussy today and Y/N couldn’t figure out why. He’d been happy when she’d picked him up from school, raving on about his art teacher’s praise on a drawing he’d done with the widest grin resting lazily on his small lips. It had been at around three that he’d started whining at her, not wanting to eat even though he’d requested the grilled cheese and flicking through about twenty channels until he’d finally settled on not watching anything at all. Y/N had figured he was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep either, so she was left thoroughly baffled trying to find ways to tame his mood.

But he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop whining and crying, wouldn’t stop flailing his tiny arms and legs, wouldn’t stop pouting at her. Jamie had the best behaviour Y/N had ever seen on a boy, really, so this behavior worried her. “I just want ice cream!”

“Jamie, we don’t have any ice cream. How about I get you ice cream tomorrow, hm? And today we’ll have something else? Come on, remember how we learned about compromise?”

Y/N was trying, pulling Jamie into her lap to comfort him even though he didn’t care for any of it. His face was red and angry and nothing she said registered in his brain. He cried into her shoulder instead, gripping at her sides in terror. “You’re being mean to me.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice, I’m trying to help you bud.”

“Please, I just want ice cream.”

It was kind of cute how even in his state of devastation, he still managed to be polite to her.

“And I hear you, Jamie, but we don’t have any right now. Will you settle for Oreos? Or chocolate?”

He merely shook his head.

Y/N breathed a grateful sigh when she heard the front door being unlocked, still bouncing Jamie up and down in her lap in hopes that he’d settle down just a bit. She was sure Harry’d heard the crying from the front door because his steps were fast and his expression of concern clear.

“What’s wrong, bub?”

Jamie reacted with a devastating whine, calling for his dad and reaching his arms out begging to be carried. Harry shot Y/N a look of mixed confusion and apology, leveling the boy out from inside of her lap. He mouthed the question she knew he’d been thinking and felt bad when all she could offer in return was a shrug because she knew it wasn’t the ice cream anymore

Harry sung in whispers into his ear in the hopes of calming him, bouncing him around on the spot. He pressed kisses to his forehead, drawing circles on his back. It worked better than when Y/N had done it, Jamie’s sobs having soothed into few hiccups and sniffles.

Y/N couldn’t help but admire how naturally skilled Harry was at being a father. She knew a little bit of the history— his fiancée at the time leaving him for another man months after having given birth to Jamie and having to raise him by himself. He was a busy man and Y/N could often tell that he felt bad about being unable to do things like pick up his son from preschool or spend all day playing in the den, but he was still a better father than hers had ever been. He was a great father.

Not long after his crying had died down, Jamie fell asleep in Harry’s arms. Y/N finally breathed a sigh, relieved to catch a break. She loved taking care of Jamie, but jesus had today been hard. Harry carried him up to his bedroom, careful as to not bother him and advised Y/N to wait for him to come back.

Whilst Harry was putting Jamie to bed, she decided to clean up a bit. She went through the array of toys Jamie had taken out and discarded after a short minute of playing with them, and placed them back in the drawers. A smile tugged at her lips when she saw the dino plush toy she’d gifted him when she’d first started working for this family months ago— he still played with it all of the time. In fact, Harry had once sent her a photo of it sitting next to him in the car when they’d gone on vacation in the summer. She recalled tearing up because of it.

“Hi, sorry for taking so long.”

She swore she almost jumped in reaction to his thick voice, gripping the plush tightly against her chest in shock. Harry allowed himself a chuckle, raising his arms just enough to surrender. “Sorry, should’ve knocked.”

Y/N’s only response was a forced chuckle. It still felt weird to be in a room with him by herself, without the presence of a cute five year old to tend to. It was moments like these she felt guilty about fancying him. Most of the time Harry was merely a ghost around the house and whenever he settled back in, she would leave. She rarely ever had time to utter more than a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ and rush off home. It wasn’t like he was there, so her thoughts about him didn’t seem too off putting— now, with the company of awkward silence engulfing them, she couldn’t help but feel disgusted by herself.

“Think he’s getting sick,” he then added.

“Probably,” she agreed. “I don’t think I’ve seen him like that before so it was just a bit worrisome.”

“Yeah, he only really gets like that when he’s sick, so I think it’s safe to say… you’re alright, though?”

“I’m fine, just a bit worried, as I said.”

He smiled like he found that amusing, “he’ll be okay. Are you hungry? I was going to make pasta for dinner.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

Last time she’d had dinner here, Jamie had sat next to her. It hadn’t been just her and him.

“Yeah. Why don’t you put the dino down and we’ll go make it together?”

In an instant, her cheeks heated up. She hadn’t even noticed she was still clutching to it for support and figured he must’ve thought she looked so stupid welcoming the comfort of a plush toy. Another awkward chuckle escaped her as she threw it gently into its container, bucking down to lock it away as well as her memory of these last two minutes, hopefully.

Harry was a good cook, but that wasn’t really surprising at all— in fact, she couldn’t imagine there were many things he wouldn’t excel at. Y/N, on the other hand, she was terrible. She’d burned so many things in her apartments kitchen that she couldn’t keep count even if she tried. So naturally, he took the lead in every task she did, from cutting onions to seasoning the salmon.

“Wait, no, y’can’t— here,” she couldn’t help but giggle as he took the knife from her hands, cutting into the flesh himself. He huffed, but she knew it was teasing. “You’ve gotta learn how to cook.”

“I know how to cook basic things, just not some five star gourmet meal. I think you’d be surprised what I can do with some seasoning, eggs and tomatoes.”

“I have no choice but to take your word for it, do I?”

“Guess not. Can I do something else? I feel so useless.”

He clicked his tongue, not even sparing a glance her way. “Go sit on the counter and look pretty.”

And at first, Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. Did she just… literally sit on the counter? Probably not. It was… a joke, right? How did he expect she would react to such a bizarre request? For a second the guilt she’d been feeling about potentially being unprofessional subsided in a flush.

Then he finally let his eyes settle on her and she just about fainted at what he had to say, “what? Do you need help getting up?”

She was 99% sure at this point that he just got off on pestering her, what with the dino, and now this? Prior to these last two weeks he’d never even spoken more than five words to her, and now he was inviting her to dinner. He probably found the confusion written all over her face amusing.

She could probably indulge a little then, right?

“Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t just laugh, though, like she’d expected him to— no, he ran his hands under hot water, wiped his hands on his (very) expensive trousers and walked toward her. He motioned to the counter as if asking her to get closer and—

“Wait, no, I can do it.”

He immediately stepped back, hands dropping from her waist and smirk molding his mouth.

“You can now?”

“Yes.”

He held eye contact for a few more beats before moving away with a solid nod.

What the fuck was that?

Y/N had expected him to dismiss her, uttering something along the lines of ‘I was only joking’, but that? Never would she have thought that that would be the response.

It was funny, too, because he never could’ve carried her up without at least a bit of struggle. She knew what he was used to— thin women, supermodels even, and she was neither.

So despite the confusion, she got up on the counter like he’d asked. On her own.

And when he’d started asking her about normal things like family and uni, Y/N slowly eased out of her awkward stance. She told him about her mother, her brother, and left her deceased father out of it. He smiled, nodding along to her words whenever the situation allowed it and kept his eye on the food.

A blink was all it took for him to announce dinner and the two of them sat at the table together, peacefully quiet.

It was around six thirty when the patter of tiny feet sounded through the house, from the stairs to the kitchen. Both of the adults waited patiently, eyebrows raised in surprise that the little gremlin had decided to wake up after only having slept for two hours.

“Daddy?”

Y/N almost melted at his sweet, buttery voice.

Harry hummed, “is that you, bub?”

He finally poked his head into the room, carrying a plush toy in one hand and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the other. He studied the room before settling his green irises (clone of his dad’s) on Y/N.

“Y/N, you’re still here.”

She smiled, a pity smile, and answered in a sweet tone, “I am, bud. Is that okay?”

He merely nodded, stalking closer. Harry pulled him up into his lap, kissing his forehead before letting him rest against his front.

“I wanted to apologize for being mean before.”

Her stomach did another flip.

Was this a dream, or did a five year old just apologize to her on his own incentive? She swore these Styles boys surprised her every day!

Her eyes flickered to Harry and she watched as a proud smile stretched his mouth. He met her gaze, the grin undeniably wide, and shrugged as if to say didn’t tell him to.

“That’s okay, Jamie, I understand you were frustrated. Are you feeling better?”

He nodded again, although it was weak and subtle, “my throats itchy.”

Harry’s smile faded with his confession and he pressed the back of his palm to his son’s forehead, “why’d you get out of bed, then, silly? You need to rest if you’re sick.”

“Missed you, daddy.”

She could see that same guilt she’d seen so many times before manipulate Harry’s features again, and her heart broke a little bit for him. She couldn’t keep track of the amount of times she’d wanted to just break and say you’re a wonderful father to him, but stopped herself in fear of overstepping.

Knowing he wasn’t going to say anything soon enough, too lost in his own thoughts, she went on for him. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Jamie, how about you go rest so you can have a full day with your dad tomorrow? S’not nice spending weekends sick in bed, as you know.”

In a manner that was so much more than cute, Jamie’s fingers trapped his chin to appear deep in thought, and then he nodded. “That makes sense.”

Y/N almost laughed, “doesn’t it?”

“Will you be here too, Y/N?”

Jamie knew very well that Y/N wasn’t here on Saturdays, so she guessed he was only implying that she should be. An invitation of sorts.

But she really couldn’t handle being around Harry on the weekends as well as on weekdays, so she shook her head gently, “no, but I’ll be back on Monday, is that okay with you?”

To show his dismay, he jutted his lip out in a pout. “Can’t you come over for lunch?”

Harry nudged him, “Jamie, remember how we talked about what Y/N does when she isn’t here with us?”

“School. But there’s no school on Saturdays!”

“She does school, you’re right. When you get older, there’s so much you have to do for school that it never stops, not even on weekends. And you know what else she does? She meets up with friends, she plays tennis, she goes shopping for groceries. There’s tons she has to do besides spend time with us, yeah?” He never met her gaze as he spoke to Jamie, and it was better that way— he’d probably have caught her loved up eyes if he dared to do it. He remember details about her she didn’t recall telling him about. As if it hadn’t been enough, he added onto it, “plus, I reckon she’d appreciate a break from us, huh? We’re definitely not the only boys in her life, so we should share once in a while. No matter how much we like having her around.”

It was almost magical, the connection Harry and Jamie shared with each other. Nevermind what he’d said to make Jamie understand (she definitely hadn’t missed that last sentence— or the idea of ‘other boys’ altogether), it just made her happy to listen to them converse. It was healthy, a bit serious when need be but mostly light and protective. He did everything in his power to preserve Jamie’s innocence, especially about his upbringing and the whole mother issue.

After a long train of thought, Jamie slowly nodded his small head, “okay. Fine. But I get you Monday! No other boys Monday through Friday.”

Y/N couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from her mouth, incessant and silly. “Okay, Jamie, I promise I won’t let other boys come between us Monday through Friday, okay? Is that good for you?”

“Me and daddy, though. He’s the only other boy allowed.”

She giggled again, avoiding Harry’s gaze but nodding nonetheless, “sure. Daddy too.”

She felt Harry shift out of her periphery.

“Okay,” he finally settled, outstretching his arm across the table, “pinky promise?”

She did the same, but just before Jamie had a chance to interlink his much smaller finger with hers, she pulled back. “If I pinky promise you on this, will you pinky promise me that you’ll finally go rest?”

He hummed in agreement.

She welcomed the promise, letting her finger link with Jamie’s for a few seconds until he felt ready to let go.

“Now go lay down. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

“Kay. Can I have a hug?”

“Of course,” she cooed at him, arms already outstretched the moment he’d climbed down from Harry’s lap. Jamie gave the best hugs, so she figured Harry would as well. She’d never gotten to test that theory, though. “Okay, good night.”

“Night.”

Jamie took slow steps (he was much like his father that way, taking his time in everything he did) and slowly disappeared into the main room, eventually stalking up the stairs as both Y/N and Harry listened for it.

“Thank you,” Harry then broke the silence. Her eyes flickered toward him, eyebrows drawing together in confusion, but a nervous smile playing on her mouth. “You’re so good with him.”

“It’s my job to be good to him.”

“It’s your job to take care of him, but you’re not… you’re doing much more than just be nice to him and I appreciate that. So thank you.”

“He’s a great kid, so… not a very difficult thing to do.”

The air had somehow become thick and unwavering, unspoken words wafting between their bodies across the table and back. Harry looked like he wanted to say more but his jaw stayed shut in place and she certainly wasn’t going to pester him about it. It was already difficult to keep in mind that despite the lighthearted dinner, he was still her employer, and that the boundaries they had been practicing since the beginning of her time here were slowly being blurred and tested.

So it didn‘t really matter what she felt whenever he spoke to her, she had to preserve herself and her position here.

She feigned a glance at the clock to justify looking away and sat up in her chair, “I should go home.”

His nod was curt, “okay. I’ll get the keys.”

“No, don’t worry, I have to stop by somewhere else before. I’ll manage.”

It was a lie, of course it was.

“Fine.”

As Y/N made her way back outside, she regretted declining his offer and the farther she walked away from the house, the more she thought about the things they could’ve talked about had she let him grab his keys and escort her home. If he would walk her to the door like last time, without Jamie in the car of course, and bid her a proper goodbye. How maybe, if they’d inched close enough, they would share a moment of hesitation before kissing. Her imagination ran wild with it and she knew that it wouldn’t really happen, but the chances would’ve been greater had she just been bad.

Shit.

—

Y/N was crying.

She was bursting into tears outside of a bar looking like a pathetic, lost idiot— and it just wouldn‘t stop. She couldn’t recall anymore what exactly she‘d expected before going into the date she‘d spontaneously agreed to as a result of her mother‘s pleas, but it certainly hadn‘t been such an embarrassing let down. Her shoulders slumped as she thought back on her date‘s words: I don’t see this going anywhere, but you’re a really nice girl. Friends?

And why was she crying? She was crying because she knew what he’d really meant was: you’re not my type at all, and this was a waste of my time. How did she know? The way he’d looked at her, with a sparkle of disgust in his eyes, the tone he’d used; pitiful and mean. How he’d looked at other, skinny girls while Y/N had been planted directly in front of him and lastly, how he’d left before the date had even ended.

Y/N hadn’t left the bar as soon as he had, no, she’d stayed until now; closing time. She’d drunk herself to exhaustion, pulling shot after shot and even worrying the barista who went to her psych class at uni. Before she’d known it, the clock had struck three am and four hours had passed since what’s-his-face had left her to rot in there.

She had no idea what to do, she could barely even form a thought. It didn’t matter that she’d been rejected— this wasn’t about that, it was about something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Since the beginning of time relationships had been sparse and dreadful, so another notch on her belt couldn’t have mattered so much as to bring her to a multitude of tears, but she did feel unlovable and undesirable in the way she had throughout all of her life. People had told her things would get better if she waited it out, but they’d lied. Guys were still assholes.

There was really only one person she felt like contacting, and that was Harry. He’d been on her mind all weekend. She’d been wondering if she ever crossed his mind, if for a sliver of a second he allowed himself to think about her in the way she thought about him, and felt a disgustingly sour taste in her mouth when she realized the answer had to have been no.

But Y/N was drunk, and people did stupid things when they were drunk— so without much afterthought, she used the remainder of her battery on dialing his number. He answered after the first ring and her mind wandered to question the plausibility of him being awake at this hour.

“Y/N?”

She was struck watching the road in front of her, unable to answer. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

What had she done?

“Y/N, is everything okay?” another wave of tears overwhelmed her senses and as a result, she sobbed right into the speaker, and heard shuffling on the other side. “Sweetheart, where are you? What’s happened?”

“This guy— he just— he was so mean and he left me here—“

“Where? Where are you? Who left you?”

“The viper.”

“Y/N, that place closed twenty minutes ago. Are you inside?”

“No, she… she said I need to get out, so I did, but I didn’t know where to go cause m’drunk, and I…” there was a pause in which she realized how stupid he must’ve thought she was, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, listen to me. Please stay there, don’t move, and send me your location. I’m coming to get you.”

She had no fight left in her, so she nodded to herself. Harry didn’t see, obviously, but he hung up with the hope that she’d understood him clearly.

When he arrived not fifteen minutes later, he put his car in park and hopped out to find Y/N sat on the floor, a lazy smile pulling at her lips when she laid eyes on him.

“Harry, hi! I was just thinking about you!”

He said nothing, a tick in his jaw as he helped her up on her feet, grounding her stature. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and he kept a steady beat to bring her to warmth as quickly as possible. Y/N got the idea, aimlessly buckling up and failing miserably until he offered assistance.

“Thank you,” she murmured to him, though he refused to give a verbal response. He merely nodded, jaw still locked in place before he closed the door. Y/N watched as he walked over to the other side and opened the door.

He drove in silence and Y/N tried to be okay with that. She stared ahead, mind still gloomy, with her lips jutted out in a pout. The silent treatment made her feel like a scolded child, like Harry was her angry father who refused to speak to her because she’d come home past her bedtime. She looked over to scan over his features, make sure the crease between his forehead had subsided at least a little, but it hadn’t.

After the longest minute of her life, she finally asked, quietly, “are you mad at me?”

And when he didn’t say anything, her heart dropped.

“Oh,” she whispered.

Y/N didn’t dare to say anything for the rest of the ride. When they got back, Y/N opened her own door and hopped out, refusing to wait for Harry to help. He sighed, she could hear, but she just slowly trailed after him.

“Up on the counter,” he grumbled, grabbing a glass of water to help sober up. She took it from his hand.

“Harry, I’m sor—“

“Drink the water.”

She almost flinched at his angry tone.

Y/N was halfway done with the glass when he scoffed, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “I’m angry because you were irresponsible. First you go on a date with some dickhead—“ she opened her mouth to protest, but failed to when he put up a finger to halt her, “then you get yourself drunk and sit outside of the bar alone in a stingy area. Something could’ve happened to you, then what?”

All Y/N could say was, “it didn’t,” and it was the weakest argument she could’ve thought of.

“It very well could’ve and you’d have your stupidity to thank for it.”

Her heart banged again. She didn’t like getting reprimanded by Harry, nearly at the end of her rope anyway. She‘d never seen this side of him before, stern and miserly. Clearly Y/N had only really seen one version of him and had gotten lost in the illusion of it all.

In a last attempt to make him understand, vulnerable and naked, she let herself sniffle, “I don’t think anyone is ever going to love me.”

She‘d expected it to pull at her heartstrings more than it ended up doing— ironically enough, she felt fine confessing to him. Maybe it was the fact that she‘d bottled it up for so long that it was nice to finally admit to it, to allow somebody else to step into her shoes. Of course, every confession came with a tinge of embarrassment (it wouldn’t be a confession otherwise), but this one was still manageable. And yeah, maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her system, but who cared?

“What?”

“No one loves me. I’ve never… guys have never liked me enough to want to brag about it, or keep me around for longer than a month, and… and I do get it, cause I come with a shit ton of baggage, but it just… it takes a lot to be motivated about things that way. I’m twenty three and I’ve barely experienced what it means to love someone and actually have them love you back.”

The display of vulnerability floated heavily through the air.

He was silent for a second. He did that sometimes, she noticed, especially when he was processing things.

Once he did open his mouth, though, he knew exactly what to say, “you can’t let some immature boys get to you like this, you hear me? Tell me one good asset the guy you went on a date with had.”

Y/N shook her head, not because she couldn‘t have if she‘d thought about it hard enough but because she had no energy to continue this conversation any longer. He wouldn’t get it

“See? No guy is worth crying over, especially not on some dirty pavement outside of a bar.”

He truly did have a point there, she supposed.

But it wasn’t just about that, so she told him exactly that— well, at least tried to, “it’s more than… I don’t… I don’t feel good enough.”

“You’re being a bit silly, sweetheart.” She registered how sweet he’d gotten again, finger brushing against her knee and features softening just enough to convince her of safety. He probably felt bad for her. “You’re plenty good enough.”

“Y’don’t get it,” she murmured, “you don’t understand what it feels like to get rejected solely because of your looks.” Y/N had always felt slightly weird talking about her appearance with people who weren’t her closest friends, and even then she felt judgment coming from them. Each time they asked if she would come clubbing with them to score boys, she was never able to honestly express that she‘d never wanted to go because it was always her who was left riding home in an uber alone. And it wasn’t like she felt ugly— in fact, there were instances she felt so confident nobody could’ve told her anything, but then there were those few others… and her whole system came down crashing.

“What do you mean?”

He couldn’t be so daft, could he?

“You’re— you just don’t fucking get it, okay? It’s… whatever, I don’t care.”

That took some courage too, courage she only registered after having uttered the words, but she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t mutter the words this guy didn’t fancy me because I’m fat, because she still had more class than that— even drunk. Ever the childish, pouty person she was, she had more shame than that.

She buried her face in her hands, breathing out, “I’m sorry. Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“It’s fine,” he placed a warm hand on her thigh, thumb stroking soothingly. With a sympathetic look in his eye (confusion too, she guessed), he tried to pacify her concerns, “you need sleep, everything will be better when you wake up.”

He was probably right about that.

“Okay.”

As he escorted her up the stairs, she couldn’t help but let her eyes trail over his features, watching as they hardened and softened based on the turmoil occurring inside of his mind. She wanted to reach in there and grab onto clues, grasp an understanding of the workings of him, but he made that nearly impossible. She would look away if he caught her eye, cheeks heating up every time she was captured by his darkened green irises.

He opened the door, allowing her to take the first step. She didn’t really need the help, but she couldn’t complain when his hand posed on the small of her back so he could maneuver her onto the sheets.

“Do you want a change of clothes, Y/N?”

“Um, if you have something?”

She doubted there was anything in his huge closet that would fit her in the way she preferred, but the idea of spending the night in jeans was just as dreadful, so she took the chance and nodded.

He came back later with a stack of clothes perched on his left hand, the other holding another glass of water. “Anything else?”

Y/N paused for a moment to think and shook her head, “no. But just—“ she swallowed around the lump in her throat, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She couldn’t believe the words she spoke next, no thought invested into them: “will you come into bed with me?”

Time refused to pass, the ball was in his court.

When he gave a subtle nod, it was like god and the universe were sending good karma her way. Her compensation for the night. “Just until you fall asleep.”

Y/N scooted to the other edge of the bed, reaching down under the blanket to rid herself of her jeans and pull on those grey sweatpants. Surprisingly enough, they fit extremely well. Harry laid down over the blanket (to prevent getting too comfortable, probably) and perched himself onto his forearm.

Another bold wave met with Y/N’s courage as she reached out her hand to trail over his chest. Harry swallowed thickly.

“You’re really nice t’me.”

“You deserve to be treated well.” The snort that left her was completely involuntary, but it still made Harry frown. “You do.”

“Everyone does,” she later mumbled in agreement. He seemed to dislike the way she’d surrendered, though, because he did that thing with his jaw whenever he was ticked off.

What he didn’t like was the implication behind her tone that she only deserved respect because everyone did, regardless of her own character. She was disregarding her beauty and her kindness, her character, and reducing it to a commodity when it wasn’t.

He’d always had difficulty expressing his feelings, though, so he stuck with silence. Stone cold silence.

It pertained for five more minutes until he watched as sleep slowly overtook her figure, peaceful breaths cascading from her mouth. She looked so pretty asleep; relaxed, void of concerns and the crinkle in her forehead from tonight’s events dissipating into its initial form.

He wondered if she’d ever given him other implications of being an insecure girl— if she had, he’d caught none of them. He never would’ve thought somebody so effortlessly beautiful and kind as her could think to deserve less on such extreme levels. It made him wonder if anyone had ever treated her as she deserved; he noticed once that whenever she spoke about her family, she failed to mention her father. It seemed men had disappointed her in more ways than one.

There was inner turmoil bothering him. He didn’t know what he was feeling for his child’s nanny, but there was surely no other woman he felt as eager to take care of— picking her up, driving her home, clearing a room for her.

It was terrifying to allow himself these few minutes of observing her because he feared the impure thoughts which would cross his mind. Not perverse, but intimate. She deserved more than him, he was sure of it.

He left the room after another five minutes, trying to be as subtle as possible as he walked to the door. It was later than four am, so he stopped by his son’s room to check on him. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he finally carried himself to his own bedroom.

He would lie awake until sunrise.

—

Y/N had never woken up so panicked before, chest heaving and mind elsewhere entirely. Her head was pounding and her heart rate palpable, she was sweating all over and she could only recall last night in small, blurry tidbits.

God, and she had to face Harry. On a Monday morning.

After maybe ten minutes of lying around and procrastinating, she finally moved herself out of bed. She pulled on her clothes from last night, drank the water that was situated on her nightstand and tidied up in the bathroom before going to search for him. She looked upstairs— no trace of him, so she cascaded down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. On the way there, his office caught her eye. The door was cracked opened and at a closer peek, she saw him sitting at the desk with his hand buried in his hair, mumbling something. She knocked, he flinched.

“God, Y/N, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” she gave a sheepish smile, “are you busy?”

“I—“ he sighed, shaking his head. It was when he spoke into the phone lying on his desk that she realized he’d been one a phone call. Before she could backtrack, he’d muttered an ‘I’ll call you later, Stace’ to them and hung up for her. She stood there, fingers interlaced in front of her body and balancing on the balls of her feet in intimidation.

He didn’t look happy either, and that was probably because ‘Stace’ was Jamie’s mother. She would call every few months, he’d told her, and cause some sort of havoc— from wanting to talk to Jamie on the phone to wanting to see him in person. When asked why he didn’t like letting her see Jamie, he’d given Y/N a very vague answer; wouldn’t do any good. She’d settled with that back then, having sensed the energy shifting.

Y/N felt bad for him now, the stress assuming control of his features almost overwhelming to look at.

He was already glancing up at her expectantly, but the words disappeared from her brain and all she wanted to do, really, was comfort him.

“I— are you okay?”

It was a visceral reaction he had to those few little words, the furrow in his eyebrow deepening, “yes, why?”

“Because… well because you were talking to Stacie on the phone—“

His scoff interrupted her pity stutter, “so you’re listening in on my conversations now?”

Oh, she was no longer sorry; she was scared. “No! No, I’m not, I swear! I was walking past looking for you and I heard you mumble something, I don’t— I would never…” and he must’ve known that. He must’ve known that she would never, ever listen in on his conversations, nor try to overstep the line by doing that (obviously she’d fucked up last night, but aside from that). He knew her, he’d trusted her for long enough for her to know that he knew that, so his accusation ticked her off.

But he looked terrifying right now; eyes dark, eyebrows furrowed, closed off stance, and nothing like the Harry she’d gotten to know well. And she had no idea if it had been last night or this that had finally pushed him over the edge.

“So why bring it up?”

“Because you— because you’ve talked about it before and I was just— I wanted to check on you!” She was stuttering like an idiot, she was aware, but with her comfort bubble gone, her speech wasn’t a reliable asset anymore. She’d always been terrible at communication and even worse at confrontation. And he must’ve known that because he was using it to his advantage— and that was mean, because he knew she would never. He knew. Didn’t he?

“It’s not professional, Y/N, but I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you know that last night wasn’t either, but you keep fucking pushing me.”

And that… well, was partly right.

“I know last night wasn’t…” she shook her head, “it wasn’t professional, I know that. I don’t know why I called you, I don’t get it either, it just happened, really, and I wanted to apologize. I understand if you—“ she peered down toward her hands, swallowing the lump in her throat, “if you don’t feel comfortable with me being here anymore. With your son, I mean, I’d totally understand.”

Y/N thought that was quite sensible of her. Of course, if she could get a chance to have a repeat of last night, she would take it in a heartbeat— but she couldn’t, so this was all she could do. She loved working here, giving it up would hurt, but she understood if that was what needed to be done.

“You just… you can’t fucking call me at three am in the morning drunk off of your arse—“

“I know that—“

“Clearly you don’t!” And she detested how his voice raised. “And clearly you don’t get that there are things you just can’t talk about; like Stacie, or your own relationships, or whatever the fuck else you’ve brought up to me.” If she felt like a scolded child yesterday, then she’d had no idea how bad it could get. “I’m your— I’m your employer, not your fucking therapist. I’m not here to clean up your fuck-ups, pat you on the head and tell you it’s alright.”

Her eyebrows furrowed because she knew that too, and she found it borderline preposterous that he would imply she didn’t.

There was a 180 here, and she was becoming less and less understanding.

“I told you I don’t know why I called you, Harry, I don’t know! What am I supposed to say? I was terrified and sad and don’t ask me why, but you’re the only person who actually gets what I’m talking about half of the time, so it just happened!”

“You act like I’m somehow responsible for you.”

Her frown deepened; she hated the notion that he had to take care of her in some way, as if she was incapable of it on her own account. “On what basis? I think you might be pressuring yourself into that, Harry, because it’s fucking ridiculous. I never made you do anything.”

He released a frustrated breath, “you have to stop worming your way into our lives— you’re our nanny, that’s it. You don’t ask me about my personal life, you don’t call me in the middle of the night to make me worry and you don’t ask me to get into bed with you.”

“You act like I don’t know that!”

“Evidently you don’t.”

“Yes I d—“

“Just—just stop. Stop talking.”

It shut her up. It did not only that, the increase of his volume had made her flinch on the spot. She wasn’t a fan of confrontation, as mentioned before, but what she despised even more was yelling. She couldn’t stand yelling, fighting, accusations being thrown in the air with no regard to anyone’s feelings. It was an extremely sensitive thing for her and she definitely hadn’t expected to experience it with him today.

Y/N saw him a little differently in this light. The sternness with which he delivered those words, strict and mean, reminded her of her childhood. He saw her weakness, saw the stress she was under, and did nothing to relieve the situation. Instead he’d yelled at her.

Her hand was shaking a little and tears were forming in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see it, though, the weakness. She couldn’t allow him to see that a simple instruction had made her want to cry.

“I can’t deal with you today, Y/N, so please just… just go.”

She left without another word— straight up turned around and closed the door behind her with shaky hands. She couldn’t stand him right now, but even more she couldn’t stand herself.

She’d fucked up so badly.

And maybe… maybe she needed to quit.

-

part two!

And there we have it! don’t hate me for that ending it was necessary!

[rosyjn]

Can I request Sam please?

Him had to go on a trip cause of work,

But you and him faught before going so he forbidden you from touching yourself meanwhile he was away.

But when he returns he finds you not only masturbating but even using sex toys!

He is mad, and he fucks her dumb as a punishment.

I like this idea anon ;) also READER IS USING HER ROSE TOY 🌹😭 NSFW CONTENT👇

Sam worthington x fem!reader

warnings: p n v, creampie, rough, spanking, use of sex toy, dirty talk, finger in mouth, implied oral, angst

You roll your eyes, leaning against the counter as Sam grabbed his suitcase- what a stupid fucking argument. The atmosphere is tense. You are huffing in annoyance. 

“I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me-” you begin, throwing your arms in the air before beginning to walk away. 

“I am going to be late,” he interrupts you, rolling the cuff on his white button-up. “And listen to me, no touching yourself.” he points a stern finger, his brows raising. Your face goes from annoyed to angrily confused. 

“What are you-” you snap, stopping in your tracks. Sam looks down at the ground, then back up at your eyes. 

“Don’t fucking touch yourself while I’m gone, you heard me.” With that, he lifts his luggage up and walks out the door. You gasp, still pissed with his behavior. He’s always been controlling, but now, you really don’t get it. You’re left standing in the foyer, watching him get in his car and drive off to the train station. Fuck, you never asked him how long he was going to be away. As his car pulls out of the driveway, you think of the words he said and the fight you had with him. 

You cross your arms, still staring at the back of his car, getting smaller and smaller as he drives away. You are NOT about to call him. He could call you, maybe. Then, he can apologize. Until he does that, you guys will not be talking. 

You’re queen petty, so you know you can’t let him win. That night, you sleep uneasily, before waking up with eye bags. It pisses you off- you know you would sleep better if you were curled up with Sam, but you’re not. 

__________

Sam is in the back of a taxi, staring out the window. It’s been two days since he left. He is thinking of you. You’re so dramatic- so accusatory. But, he knew what he was doing when he told you not to masturbate. 

He clicks the side button of his phone, turning it on to check for messages from you. There are none. Instead, he is flashed with his lockscreen and the time. 2:23, and a selfie of you and him at the beach, Your head is tucked into the crook of his neck in the photo, your face in a closed-eye smile and your skin being sun kissed. He was doing a cool guy face for the picture, looking like some type of action hero. 

His eyes soften as he looks at the lock screen, for he is not looking at himself, only at you. He switches his phone off, looking back up at the window. The only positive thing about him being away is what he can do when he comes back. He already has a plan: he’ll come home, congratulate you for being such a good girl, then fuck you senseless until you’re begging for kisses from him. At that point, you’ll forgive him. The mind blowing sex will be his apology. He was never good at expressing emotions and he knows that. He tells himself that one day he’ll work at it. Either way, he’ll be back for you soon. 

_________

You’re sweaty, panting from your workout. Your hair is tied to keep from getting in your face. You sigh, heading away to take a shower. You think, am I still mad? Your fingers loop in the band of your shorts, pulling them down and then stepping out. It’s already been two days. Two days, and no calls or texts. So yes, you are still mad. You sigh, lifting your bra off. I’ll get him back, you tell yourself. 

_________

He’s coming back, he’s so excited to be coming back. At this point, guilt has hit him. He has a plan laid out. He’ll get on the train, take a nap to be energized for you, then he’ll run to a florist, then grab chocolate. It’s a perfect scheme. Sam scrolls through his camera roll, looking at all the pictures of you. He can’t get enough of that smile on your face, your sweet eyes, the life in your expressions- yet he can’t muster up the courage to call you. 

________

You lay in bed, smelling like NIVEA and shea butter. You’re fresh, clean, and clad in pajamas, A skimpy tank top paired with shorts. You find yourself alone again, covered in a navy blue comforter. When is he coming back? You buck your hips back and forth, trying to get comfortable in bed. 

With this squirming comes an unexpected friction on your clit. You continue these movements, until he comes to mind. Fuck him, that asshole. You reach over to your bedside drawer, quickly opening it and shuffling through the stuff in there. You move a TV remote, lip balm, lotion, and books away before seeing it: that box. You pick it up- a small, unopened box. It’s white, a rose on it.

 It’s that goddamn rose toy. You had bought it before you met Sam, then found yourself never using it. You shake your head, tearing the plastic away from the box. You never used it because your man always had you covered, was always there to fuck you when you needed it. You open it, taking out a light pink silicone rose. You turn it around in your hands, marveling at the buttons and shape of the toy. You lean back on the pillow, before positioning the pistil, the suctioning part, onto your clit. You take a deep breath, then push down a button on the side of the rose. 

You were not prepared for that. It uses focused, pulsing air to suck on your clit. You cry out, your moans only being heard by yourself. You feel like your soul is going to leave your body. It’s a powerful and intense sensation. You’re praying to yourself, blabbering and moaning as the image of Sam leaves your brain, filling it up with blind pleasure. 

_______

He’s driving home, the smell of roses wafting through the car. He taps at his leg, listening to music. He can’t tell if he’s worried or excited to see you. Communication- he knows he should work on that. His plan replays in his head, and if it works, he’ll get lucky tonight. 

When the car pulls up in the driveway, he doesn’t wait. He immediately parks, then grabs his luggage in one hand and the flowers in another, tucking the box of chocolate in his arm. He gets his house key, awkwardly opening the door because his hands are so full. He comes in silently, removing his shoes in the foyer to keep quiet. He creeps up the stairs, but a faint noise brushes past his ears. 

His heart drops. It’s you- you’re moaning in the bedroom. Fuck, he knew he should’ve apologized. He listens closer, coming nearer to the noise. His brows furrow in confusion. No one else is making noise, and the bed isn’t shaking. Sam speeds up, stealthily heading for the door. 

_______

You’re so engulfed in pleasure, everything else is blocked out. You’re coming ever-so-close to another orgasm. The rose sucks on your clit so deliciously, leaving your ears ringing and eyes squeezed shut. 

“What did I tell ya?” a deep, husky, Australian voice croons from the doorway. What a bad time for your climax. You writhe in pleasure, unable to contain it. Your eyes shoot open, making eye contact with the figure. 

“Sam!” you yelp, yanking the toy away from your heat and turning it off, then keeping it hidden under the blanket. It’s too late. 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk…” he shakes his head, dropping the items in his arms. “Gonna have to punish ya,” he begins to undress, eying you. He expects you to do the same, even though you’re only left in a skimpy tank top. 

“I was-” you lay there, soaked and stunned. What are you even supposed to tell him? You slowly lift your top off, exposing your breasts. 

“That’s it,” he smirks. You fold your arms, trying to think of a way to redeem yourself. “Y’know, you’ve been a bad girl. A bad, bad girl. You disobeyed me, with a toy as well.” he pushes away the last of his clothing, coming towards the bed. You uncross your arms now, instinctively leaning back for him. “Don’t ya have somethin’ to say?” he asks. 

“I- I’m sorry,” you say, watching as Sam pulls the covers away to grab the toy. It’s now wet, with a drained battery. “Sorry, daddy.” 

“You will throw this away, got it?” he looks at the rose with hatred. How could anything else ever please you? This gesture angers you. 

“How could you be so jealous? Of a toy?” you scoff, the memories of your previous argument flooding back. “You’re insecure.” you hiss. At that moment, his eyes change. They fill with a mixture of pure lust and rage. He chucks the poor toy away. 

“I’ll throw the damn thing away myself,” he manually spreads your legs, forcing them wide open. “Now, tell me you’re sorry, and you will mean it,” he growls, his hand reaching for the side of your ass. When his command is met with silence, he smacks your butt- hard. 

“Fuck! I’m sorry! Goddamn!” you squirm, but he holds you in place. 

“Little brat, makin’ it harder for yourself,” when he senses that you’re not really apologetic, just desperate, he takes matters into his own hands. “I’ll make you sorry, and I’ll make you mean it.” 

He holds your hips in place, thrusting into your cunt. He penetrates you with his entire length, leaving you mewling and whining. He groans when he’s so deep, his balls press against you. Your poor pussy, already tired, is about to get ravaged. 

His fingers dig deep into your plush skin, the nails poking you and leaving marks in your skin. Your hands find his shoulders when he begins to rut in and out of you at a merciless pace, You grip onto them. Your legs wrap around his body as well. Your walls, getting fucked raw and splattered white, pulse and clench around Sam. 

A mix of guilt and pleasure shimmers in you. There was no foreplay, no kissing, none of that- there usually is. Of course, you didn’t need any, given you were already dripping wet. You shy away, flustered as your cunt makes apparent squelching noises. You swear you’re dizzy from his rapid motions, that you can see stars. 

His tip tingles inside of you. From his point of view, he needs to teach you a lesson. He needs to show you that you were being a bad girl. He has the privilege of being able to fuck you senseless until you promise you won’t disobey him again. You look so pretty underneath him. 

Your pussy is so warm, so wet, and so tight. Sam occasionally spanks your ass, to remind you that this sex isn’t a reward, but instead a punishment. When you whine and coo beneath him, he can’t help but feel a sense of pride. 

“Gonna cum!” you exclaim, throwing your head back. At this point, your ass is already sore, littered with tingly spots from his slaps. His face twists into deep concentration, trying to speed up so he can release his load into you. You can already feel it: warm little drops of his seed squirting out onto your walls. 

“Wanna have my kids drippin’ outta ya? Hmm?” he teases, grabbing your face with one hand and your breast with another. You make eye contact with him, overwhelmed by the feeling. He loves to see it, the way you melt for him. 

“Yes, daddy!” you mewl, his thumb invading your mouth. You suck on it, like a good girl. When your orgasms finally hit, they hit like fucking trains. Sam is growling and huffing like a wolf, and you’re arching your back. Your walls clamp down on him, and it milks a few extra drops out of his cock. 

You bite down lightly on his thumb, and in response, he pushes his cock deeper than it already is. When his tip kisses your cervix, you flinch and tears well up in your eyes. He pulls out painfully slowly, listening to the way your warm hole doesn’t want to let go of him. 

A string of cum follows drips down your folds, and Sam’s cock is shiny with slick. You fall limp into the bed, catching your breath and sinking into the mattress. 

“Open your mouth.” he says. 

[changingplumbob]

Romero Household: Chapter 1, Part 2

Kayleigh comes to visit with an unexpected offer and the couple head to the romance festival.

Marta’s first language is Spanish so she is teaching Keira (and me) some common phrases Ay dios mio: omg equivalent Buenas tardes: Good afternoon Carino: Term of endearment for a loved one Gracias: Thank you Mi familia: My family Por favor: Please Qué?: What? Si: Yes Te amo: I love you

Keira: Mum! You didn’t say you were coming

Kayleigh: I didn’t think I needed an appointment to see my daughter and future daughter in law

Keira: Of course not but Marta is feeling unwell

Marta: Buenas tardes Kayleigh. I’ll be fine, Keira is just… overreact

Keira: I mean your parents died from flu complications, can you blame me for being nervous when you get sick?

Marta: No. But look, I’ll have more tea

Kayleigh: I’m so excited for the wedding, have you decided on a venue yet

Marta: Si. I was wanting to have it in the church in Willow Creek

Kayleigh: All the way there?

Keira: It’s the oldest church in the save mum, it’s got history

Marta: Si. Our marriage is not just us, it’s the watcher as well. A church is the right place to honour that

Kayleigh: I always admire your devotion. I’m sorry we couldn’t meet your parents

Marta: Their spirits will be here tomorrow. Keira and I would like all of you to come over for dinner. Then I can tell you about them, and you’ll be able to know them

Kayleigh: If you want us at your celebration then of course

Marta: Si. You are part of mi familia now

Kayleigh: And will our family be growing soon?

Keira: Mum! You sound just like dad

Kayleigh: We’re not getting any younger. Life is short and your dad and I would like to have some grandkids. Every time Aaron sends Harvey a cute picture he almost goes green with envy

Marta: Keira and I do want kids one day

The couple look at each other, feeling the warm fuzzy feeling of home

Kayleigh: I just wanted to say, well your dad wanted me to say, whatever expense there is, we’ll pay it

Marta: Que?

Keira: Are you sure mum? I mean it could be quite expensive for us. Whether we get a sperm donor or try that new science method that allows for same sex pregnancy to start, the cost will likely be high

Kayleigh: I know but your dad and I can’t take the money with us to the forever save. We may as well use it while we’re here

Marta: *smiles* we’re going to be parents carino

Keira: I mean eventually, there’s no big rush is there? I’m only 23

Kayleigh: Wait until after the wedding at least or the dress won’t fit

Keira: We’d need to wait until after honeymoon as well. And even then-

Marta: Gracias Kayleigh, it’s very generous. Will you let us have some time to talk about it

Kayleigh: Of course, I’m just glad you’re receptive. I best be off, don’t get up, I can show myself out

Kayleigh leaves and Marta turns to Keira.

Marta: What’s wrong carino

Keira: I… Sweetheart I want kids with you, I do, but… *softly* so soon?

Marta takes her hand and kisses it lightly.

Marta: There’s no rush but think about it por favor? I’d carry them so it shouldn’t interfere with your work much. I’d like to grow our familia sooner rather than later

Marta goes for another nap while Keira scratches her geek itch playing party frenzy online with Joey, James and Alexander.

Joey: Do you not want to be a mum

Keira: I do. I just… I spent so much of my life waiting for my person and now that I’ve found her I want time with just us. Is that selfish?

Alexander: I don’t think so. Remember I stole my person

James: You can’t steal what is given to you love. Wait- what car am I again?

Joey: The blue one. No, Rilian! Zio Joey is trying to see the screen!

Keira: What’s he doing this time

Joey: Trying to find new places to hide his half eaten meals. I better go tell Devin, later bros *drops out*

Keira: I need to go to the romance festival anyway. Will I see you guys there?

James: Saturday is date night

Alexander: I have plans that involve you, me and a posh restaurant. We'll get a nanny for Milton

Keira: *laughs* have fun being wealthy

Alexander: Always

Marta: You’re letting me out

Keira: I would never try pin you in. I’m not-

Marta: I know carino, I was joking

Keira: Somehow I imagine I couldn’t keep the romantic in you away from this festival even if I wanted to

Marta: So *coyly* what do we do here

Keira: What a leading question. You know sweetheart some would say you’re a tease

Marta: Taste me and find out

Keira smiles and pulls Marta close in a passionate embrace. They stay tangled in each other for a while but pull apart before Marta can get too breathless.

Keira: You need rest still

Marta: Now who’s the tease

Keira: Come on, let’s get some of the tea

Marta goes to the fountain and finds herself humming along to the music. She loves singing but she knows it’s probably best to rest rather than sing a ballad. She’s deep in her imagination when *clanks* the cup she picked drops to the bottom of the fountain.

Marta: Ay dios mio!

Stranger: Are you okay

Marta: Si, gracias

Marta sheepishly fishes her cup up from the fountain and looks around, hoping no one else has seen the blunder.

Marta: See, I’m drinking tea. I do listen to your advice

Keira: *laughs* I suppose it’s prettier than the tea we have at home

Marta: You’re the pettiest thing anywhere carino *blows kiss*

Keira: Stop, you’re making me swoon!

Marta: My daily goal. Have you thought more about what your mum said

Keira: Yeah. I guess… I just don’t want to share you with anyone

Marta: *sighs* Keira, no one belongs solely to someone else. Tell me you understand that? You need to share every person in your life. I’m becoming your wife but we won’t be each other’s property

Keira: I knew it would sound like that. I don’t mean I want you to myself in a controlling way, I mean, I’m worried kids would steal all your attention and I’d be forgotten

Marta: Carino… let me get us some food

Marta grabs them some Ramen and comes back to the table.

Marta: I know that your first girlfriend said she got bored of you but I promise, I’m never getting bored of you. Te amo

Keira: I love you to

Marta: If you want some time as just us before having kids then we can, bueno? But when we get around to having kids I will not love you any less

Keira: Okay, I’ll try work on my feelings. I do want to see what beautiful kids we can make

Marta: Me to!

Marta: Gracias for the date

Keira: I thought your spirits needed lifting before tomorrow

Marta: Tomorrow will be happy, you’ll see

Keira: If you say so. For now... can I have a hug

Marta: aww, of course carino

The couple head home and still feeling the effects of the tea take time to enjoy each other properly. Keira still gets feelings of inadequacy which can be hard to balance with Marta’s need to feel uncaged. But they love each other. Love is a skill and these two are happy to grow their skills together. Whatever they may feel, they’ll work on it together.

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[captainnameless]

you did a request a while ago for clingy Max and i was wondering if you would write a little headspin like that on Max being clingy and Daniel gets kinda firm with him and Max gets upset but Daniel makes it all better?

i don’t know if that makes sense lmao but i’m such a sucker for the like caregiver being firm but then going all mushy for their little and i just love clingy Max

ooooo, i tried. i hope this is what you wanted <3

Max is extra clingy today, in fact, Daniel is pretty sure Max would prefer to be in one of those baby swings, stuck onto Daniel like a baby koala.

It’s not like Daniel minds, he loves Max, he loves that Max loves him. Loves how Max shows it through holding his sleeve, pressing his nose into Daniel’s cheeks when they’re waking up or making their knees touch when they’re sat next to each other.

But they’re working today, Daniel has a shit load of responsibilities to get through, the media is on him, throwing out theories on his future and wanting his opinion, his thoughts, his soul.

His lunch break was supposed to start 20 minutes ago, and he knows Max is waiting. He’s texted him already that he’s running late, unable to keep his eyes of the digital numbers on his phone when he’s supposed to be putting his guy down for a nap. Jetlag has gotten both of them pretty good this time around, barely getting 4 hours of sleep in last night and Daniel had specifically requested his break to coincide with Max’s so he could schedule some rest for the younger. Lord knows he needed it.

His phone screen lights up again with a message from Max

I’m coming to you.

No, Daniel thinks immediately, doesn’t want these media vultures to jump on Max the second he walks in, not right now.

“Just- a second.” He apologizes absentmindedly swiping open Max’s message and responding.

Don’t, it’s too busy. I promise I’m wrapping this up. Give me 5.

When Daniel finally finishes his conversation a couple minutes later, partly because the person in front of him probably got annoyed with his short and distracted answers, he breathes a sigh of relief as he goes to gather his things. There’s a flash of orange in the corner of his eye and Daniel snaps his had up immediately when he realizes the orange is the #1 cap Max wears, in fact it is Max.

It’s impressive how quickly Daniel gets too Max, not quick enough for the first person there to go “Oh, Max do-” but quick enough to push Max back out into the hallway before their request is out.

“I told you to stay.” Daniel voice is firmer than he means it too be, his own exhaustion bleeding through frustration.

Max blinks up at him with a rapidly growing pout, hand coming up to try and pry Daniel’s hand off his bicep, Daniel lets go suddenly, not aware of his firm grip.

“You have to come.” Max whines up at him. “You took too long.”

Daniel sighs, rubs a hand over his face. “I am coming, I just need to grab my stuff.”

“I’ll come with.” Max responds, already moving to push past Daniel.

Daniel stops him with a gently hand to his chest. “No, Max. I’ll go grab it. You go to your room.” He doesn’t have the energy to explain why.

“But-”

“One.” It almost slips out of him, firmer than Max is used to when he’s not even in trouble really. “Go.”

Max stills immediately, sadness taking over his features. There’s a tiny little “Okay.” The he breathes out before turning on his heels, speed walking away from Daniel, leaving the elder with a gnarly feeling in his chest.

There’s a few choice words that Daniel murmurs under his breath as he steps back into the little room, gathering his things.

He does knock when he’s in front of Max’s driver room, a tiny flicker of worry things Max might have locked it, but when his hand twists the handle it opens.

Max has wrapped himself up in the baby blue blanket Daniel picked this morning. He looks so small, all bundled up in the corner of the couch and when Daniel enters there’s already tears swimming in his eyes.

“Daddy.” Max cries, reaching out to Daniel with blanket covered grabby hands. “I’m sorry. Daddy, I’m sorry.”

Daniel flicks the lock quickly before flinging himself onto the couch and wrapping his arms around the bundled bub.

“No, Darling. Shh. Daddy’s sorry. You don’t have to be sorry.” Daniel soothes, hand finding Max’s cheek to brush at the tears.

“Didn’t listen. I was bad.” Max cries back at him, burying his face in Daniel’s chest.

Daniel just holds him closer, rocks them a little in an attempt to get the tears to stop. “Oh Bubba, sometimes not listening has a very good reason. I’m sure you only didn’t listen cause you were missing Daddy very much, no?”

Max peaks up at Daniel, sucking in a breath before he nods. “Miss.”

“Right.” Daniel breathes, brushing the hair off of Max’s forehead. “And Daddy should’ve listened to you, should’ve thought about those missing feelings being too big for a little boy to listen. Daddy’s sorry.” Daniel’s always made sure Max knows that Daniel apologizes too, that he makes mistakes and owns them, that they’re equal. He’s even sat on the naughty step once.

Max blinks up at Daniel, thumb finding his mouth as the tears slow down. “Not bad?”

“You’re never bad. Maybe sometimes you make a bad decision, but you’re never bad. Remember? Sometimes Daddy makes a mistake, or a bad decision. That doesn’t make Daddy bad. But Daddy is sorry for making you wait, and expecting a little too much of you today. You’re a good boy, Maxie.”

Max is silent against his against his chest, the tears have stopped but Daniel can see in his eyes he’s not convinced.

“Do you need a little help remembering?”

Max nods slowly, thumb slipping out of his mouth.

“Alright.” Daniel smiles gently, sitting Max up a little straighter, the blanket that Max had wrapped around himself is lifted, and Daniel covers both of them with it like a little tent, grabbing both of Max’s hands in his.

“Just us.” Daniel hums, bumping his nose into Max’s.

“You’re a good boy.” Daniel says, open and honest as he squeezes Max’s hands.

Max breathes. “I’m a good boy.” It’s quiet, but Daniel hears.

“I am kind,”

“Kind.”

“I am smart.”

“Am smart.”

“I am loved.” Daniel squeezes a little harder.

“I am loved.” Max breathes back at him.

Daniel smiles. “The most by me.” He decides to add.

There’s a small smile that breaks out on Max’s face.

“You got it?” Daniel asks and Max nods.

“I’m a good boy.”

“Good boy.” Daniel reaffirms, pressing a kiss to Max’s forehead, about to let go off their intertwined hands when Max squeezes them tight.

Daniel looks at him with gentle confusion.

“Your turn.” Max breathes. “I’m a good Daddy.”

Daniel has to bite his lip at the noise that wants to leave his body, suddenly blinking a bit more rapidly.

“Say.” Max demands, eyes honest and sincere.

“I’m a good Daddy.”

[aureutr]

Health update, featuring: DIAGNOSIS

I have been a chronic pain patient for a few years now. It's difficult to fully articulate how much pain changes your life, unless you are someone who has lived it or had a loved one live it.

Pain sucked away my energy and brainpower. I found myself sleeping more and more, first in naps after work then I was regularly calling out half days just to sleep. All the while, I was seeing doctor after doctor in hopes that someone would have an answer.

No one did. At first, it was almost a relief. It wasn't cancer, after all. But then the relief turned into disappointment and quickly into resignation. Labs were fine, X-ray was clear, CT was good. It should have been good news, except I still hurt all of the time and no one could tell me why.

The pain got worse. It peaked in Autumn 2022, when I finally got my first sliver of relief. Gabapentin kept the pain in control enough that I no longer had to regularly sleep half of the day, but it made me foggy. Still, it was easier to manage than the brain fog from pain, so I took it.

I still take it, and I’m on quite the high dose. It’s given me a semblance of a life back, but it’s not the answer or a cure. I still napped, I still hurt too much to even walk around a store for more than an hour or so. And, if I did, it would be my only activity for the day.

I lost my job late last year. I don’t believe it was because of the time I had to take, it was a mass layoff, but I’m certain it did not help. That, at least, ended up fine. I found a job I prefer with far better pay within a few months. And they’re, so far, understanding that I’m working through health problems.

But being unemployed was still a stressor, and I had learned that stress was integral to my pain. When I was stressed, it was worse. When I was calm, it was bearable.

I’ll skip describing another round of tests and hypotheses that went nowhere. In October 2023, my husband and I went to the Mayo Clinic or the Cleveland Clinic or John Hopkins (I am being intentionally vague here). This was our second time visiting, the first gave us absolutely nothing.

A nurse practitioner took a very quick look at me, too quick for our comfort, and declared the issue muscular. She recommended physical therapy. It seemed too simple, really. After all of that, all that money spent and time invested? It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried some exercise, but when moving makes your pain worse and worse pain zaps your energy, that’s difficult to maintain.

Still, I wasn’t going to turn my nose up at anything at this point. And it’s a damn good thing I didn’t.

The physical therapist I ended up seeing told me I had the strongest pelvic floor she’s ever seen. And that’s not a good thing. I have apparently taken literal decades worth of anxiety, depression, self-loathing, and any other negative emotion you can think of, and held them taut there, keeping my pelvic muscles almost constantly tensed.

And when you tense that much for that long, dysfunction arises.

My official diagnosis is Pelvic Floor Disorder. All of my PT has been focused on stretching, no strength training or cardio. I’m retraining my body to relax, to let go.

It has been amazing.

At the time of writing, I’ve been going to sessions for about six weeks. Already, I am eager to walk our dogs every day. I’ve gone out on my own or with friends to move.

The pain is not gone. But it is so much less that my pain clinic doctor is discussing reducing my gabapentin in a couple of months. And with decreased pain comes decreased brain fog.

Decreased brain fog means not only an improvement in my professional work, but space for fandom. I’ve written more than I’ve shared, lots of short private stuff for friends, but I haven’t had enough organized thought to re-approach the stories I put on hold.

I can’t promise anything, of course, but I hope that can change soon. I’ve been dabbling in Distant Echoes again, and it’s fun to be back in that world.

I’m not well. But I’m better. I’m so, so much better.

[neverchecking]

Awww… thank you for the nice comments about my drawing… I do really think that I could have done better ;-; but I’m glad that you liked it. And thank you for the banana, since you were nice to give me a gift, I shall return the favor!

Mature Content Warning.

{ A bit of context: Ok so I ship my oc (her name is D.A. as a nickname) with Link (BOTW/TOTK) a lot… for many different reasons but all you need to know that D.A. is a Tall Queen and Link is her Short King. But that will be another story for another time, so this will be about the Reader of any gender, and the Chain. }

The chain and the reader are just hanging around at a campsite, doing their own thing. Unfortunately it is very hot outside and Wild is not having it at all. So after lunch is over, he chills next to reader under a tree and tries to take a nap. While he sleeps, he began to have a bit of a fun dream. He sees himself at the bottom of the hill, (in the Barbarian Armor cuz I’m that type of person) and on the top of this hill, he sees his flower, but he has to climb to get to them. So he climbs and climbs and climbs, ironically enough, the higher he goes, the hotter the atmosphere is around him. Wild starts to sweat and sweat, but he doesn’t stop, he wants his lover so badly. It’s only at the top, he realizes that his sweetie is a giant now, and unfortunately they can’t hear him from way down there. So he gently climbs onto the hot smooth skin of this beautiful being in front of him. He continues to climb, up their body, all soft and warm, and Wild is starting to become crazy, just aching for relief from this mayor yet. Finally, he makes he way face to face with his lover, with him standing on their chest. And an reward for climbing all the way to the top, Wild is given a kiss from this beautiful beautiful being (kinda like how those huge fairies kiss him when he upgrades or something? I haven’t played the game .3.) When the kiss is done, suddenly there is this waterfall above Wild, giving him the cooling relief he craved so bad as he wails out in satisfaction. Once the ordeal is over, Wild opens his eyes and is meet with a bunch of eyes on him. The Reader and the chain just look at him.

Reader is confused and concerned.

Wind doesn’t even has a clue what is going on as his eyes are being covered by Legend, Hyrule was attempting to cover Wind’s eyes but failed miserably.

Twilight and Sky both have second had embarrassment.

Calamity refuses to acknowledge what the hell just happened for his own mental sanity.

Warriors just has a smirk on his face.

Sage is just disgusted….. DISGUSTING!

And any other Link that I missed, their just have the confusion of da highest orda.

As for Wild… he feels like he is on top of something… so he slowing looks down, face is totally painted the bright shade of red by the way, and below him is an unfortunate (chulu? I honestly don’t know, it’s the blue thing with the eyes) jelly. The jelly seems like it has seem better days, and it wants to be out of its memory. Luckily it’s wish is granted, Wild pulls out his sword and pops it instantly. Eventually everyone continues to go about their day, refusing to mention anything that happened… all but one person that is…

Sage: Y’all get mad at me for how I act, but HE gets a PASS!? …. F all of y’all, all of y’all can go suck a caterpillar di-

Then the Reader just pulls Sage away to give him a stern lectures on how to treat people, but he’ll never listen…

So yeah… I know I draw but I seriously need to start writing all my random ideas and put them on this app… I named myself “mrswritter” damnit!! I’ll work on this one day… but I hope you enjoyed this! Please take your time as you relax from the requests, you’ve feed us so well, now we shall pay the bill. This story was my payment, and as a tip, here’s an apple, a red one this time! 🍎

BRO THE MEAL YOU JUST FED ME I AM LICKING MY FINGERS

Legend is offended on your behalf. Like he is acting like a wounded mother who had someone swear in front of her kid. Hyrule is like, hand to the mouth, shocked.

Twilight is just defeated bc that was who he was mentoring and he doesn't know if he failed wild or Wild failed him. Sky doesn't know where the timeline went wrong.

Time is wondering if it's too late to go back and eradicate the timeline. Wars for sure is smirking because now he gets to hold this over Wild's head forever.

And Cal and Sage? They are by far the most insulted. Cal is downright disgusted since he's more duty bound than the other two, so he's a little more...sophisticated in a way. Sage is furious. He kisses you one time and they separate the two of you for two hours. But Wild can do this and just...get away with it?!

Fucking Double Standard. He is ranting and raving about this constantly. He even gets Cal on his side.

Reader has to prolly scold them both lmao.

I enjoyed it very much! Honestly, it was a struggle to start consistently writing for me lmao. I require no payment, but tidbits like this are always appreciated! Since you've switched it up, I shall too! 🍋 Have a lemon!

[glatisant-questing]

Yamazaki's Short Story from Hakuoki Manyo no Shou Limited Edition Booklet (Translation)

This story is sooo cute that I got to translate it. I often wondered if Yamazaki and Chizuru are of the same MBTI type. The two of them are just perfect together.

(As for the Chinese herbal medicine, it seems that there is no need to buy more for the time being… The problem is the tools and medicines used for treating wounds and Western medicine…) 

I am completely ignorant about the tools and medicines for medical arts and Western medicine. I have no choice but to consult with Yukimura-kun.

As I was thinking about these things, I looked for Yukimura-kun, but I couldn’t find her. 

When I went out to the courtyard, I saw Shimada, who was about to go somewhere, so I called out to him. 

“Shimada-kun, have you seen Yukimura-kun? I have something to ask her.” 

“Oh, Yamazaki-kun. I saw Yukimura-kun hanging kimonos in the courtyard.” 

“The courtyard, huh? Thanks.” 

I thanked Shimada-kun and hurried to the courtyard. 

As Shimada-kun said, Yukimura-kun was in the courtyard, hanging kimonos. 

“Yukimura-kun.” 

When I called out to her, she quietly turned around. 

“Ah, Yamazaki-san, hello.” 

“Are you hanging kimonos?” 

“Yes, it’s almost the season to change clothes. I want the other Shinsengumi members to wear them comfortably.” 

“…I see.”

It is said that women tend to notice the details more than men, and I strongly feel that when I look at Yukimura-kun.

 (I also pride myself on being attentive, and I often receive compliments from the Vice-Commander, but still I can’t match Yukimura-kun.) 

As I was thinking about that– 

“So, Yamazaki-san, do you have something for me?”

 I came to my senses when Yukimura-kun asked me. 

“Ah. Actually–” 

I asked Yukimura-kun for advice on buying medical tools and Western medicines. 

“…So, if there is anything missing, I thought I would buy it on the way.” 

“I understand. I will check our backlog as soon as I finish this.”

 Yukimura-kun said so and tried to resume her work.

 “I’ll help you. It will be faster if we do it together.” 

“But… are you sure? Yamazaki-san, don’t you have other work to do?” 

“It’s not that I don’t, but it’s not so urgent that I have to do it right now. Besides, it would be better if you come with me for shopping. And we might be able to find Koudou-san on the way.” 

“Yamazaki-san…” 

Yukimura-kun looked at me with a grateful expression… 

(When I’m looked at like this, I feel… uneasy. I know she doesn’t have any ulterior motives, but still…)

 She bowed her head, expressing her gratitude. 

“Thank you for your kindness. I’ll take your word and go with you.” 

“Don’t mention it. After all, we are the ones who are forcing you to live in inconvenience. Rather than that, let’s finish this quickly. You also would like a bit more time looking for Koudou-san, don’t you?” 

“Yes, I understand–”

The moment she finished speaking, a small yawn escaped from her mouth.

 “Ah… I’m sorry! I was up late last night.” 

She apologized, looking away in embarrassment.

 “Didn’t you sleep well?” 

“I was reading the book on Eastern medicine that you lent me the other day.” 

“…You don’t have to rush to read it. I told you that you can return it anytime when I lent it to you.” 

“That’s true, but…” 

“If you’re sleepy and tired–”

 I was about to suggest canceling today’s outing, but I stopped myself. 

For Yukimura-kun, who was allowed to go out alone, she couldn’t miss the opportunity to look for Koudou-san. 

“You should take a nap over there. I’ll take care of the clothes.”

 “That’s-- too much!” 

Yukimura-kun immediately refused my offer… 

“If you go out with me like this, it will be more troublesome if you collapse on the way. Just follow what I said.” 

She showed a sad expression on her face. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“No, I didn’t mean to blame you… Sorry, I chose my words poorly.” 

“No, it’s not like that…” 

Seeing Yukimura-kun’s expression become more depressed, I regretted my earlier mistake. 

“I know very well that you’re working hard for the Shinsengumi. It won’t hurt to take a nap. I’ll call you when I’m done, so rest over there.”

 I secretly worried that she would take my words in a bad way again, and waited for her reply. 

A smile finally appeared on her lips.

 “I understand. Then I’ll take your word and rest for a while. Thank you always, Yamazaki-san.”

 She bowed her head slightly and sat down on a bench nearby. She closed her eyes and began to doze off. 

(I didn’t do anything worth thanking me for. What is it… How nice is she?)

 I thought so, but I felt relieved by talking to her. 

(She’s good at medicine, of course, but maybe she also has the power to heal broken hearts without knowing it.) 

I thought so as I started working on the clothes that I took over from Yukimura-kun (somewhat forcibly).

Before long– I was in trouble after I finished hanging all the kimonos.

The problem was when to call out to her and wake her up. 

Probably, if I call out to her now, it would be too short a time to be called a nap.

 But if I go and do other work and then wake her up, it might be too late. 

But more than that, I can’t leave Yukimura-kun sleeping here. 

(Well, what should I do…) 

I was thinking about these things as I stood next to her. 

When I am looking at Yukimura-kun sleeping defenselessly, I feel somewhat sorry to wake her up.

 Or rather, I feel like I want to keep looking at her like this——. 

As I dwelled on these thoughts, a gust of wind began to blow.

 “Hmm… Ah… Um, how long have I been sleeping? The kimonos?” 

Yukimura-kun woke up and asked me, looking around at me and the surroundings. 

“O-oh, I’m glad you’re awake. I finished hanging the kimonos and was about to wake you up.” 

“Is… is that so… I’m sorry. I really left it all to you.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Come on, get ready to go out.” 

“…Yes!”

 She left a cheerful reply and went away.

As I watched her back, I wish I could have seen her sleeping face a little longer…

---fin---

[ladylooch]

Kev & baby Luca with matching pool shorts

“Babe!” Kevin yells into the house. He has Luca with him. Our son is babbling in his car seat, sucking on his hand. 

“Yeah?” I ask, poking my head out of the powder room. I’m finishing cleaning, then we are having a family pool day. The heat in the Midwest has reached ridiculous heights. Don’t even get us started on the humidity. The only way to stop me from going crazy is to be in our new, in-ground pool.

“Look at what I got!” 

“Hold on.” Kevin sighs with a huff. I’m obviously ruining his buzz of excitement. I wash my hands quickly, then come out patting them on my shorts to dry faster. He is holding a black bag in his hands, one hand disappearing into it. “Ready.” I gesture with a smile.

“Your boys… are gonna look so good in our new pool.” I bite my lip. Kevin whips out two pairs of swim trunks. Luca sees them and immediately squeals in excitement. 

“Rubber duckies!!!!!” I start laughing, coming closer to look at them.“He saw them at Target and was so excited. So we gonna match.” I grab Luca’s holding them up to admire.

“This is so cute, babe.” I murmur, then lean up for a kiss. “You’re so sweet.”

“Yeah. Thought you could wear your yellow bikini.” 

“Oh so we all match?”

“Yeah… and cause I like the way it kinda doesn’t fit quite right here.” He cups a boob. “Lil’ family time and a show, no?”

“You’re so desperate for a feel these days.” I joke. “I’m ready to go if you are.” 

“Yeah, I’ll get Luca ready.” Kevin takes him out of his car seat, then hoots and hollers all the way upstairs to his room. After hockey, swimming is Kevin’s favorite activity. I can never get him out of the pool when we are on vacation. I am hoping with having one at home it gives us more time to do other things now.

I meet the boys at the pool with a white cover up over my yellow bikini. Kevin frowns, gesturing to the back yard. 

“Take it off. It’s just us.” He knows I’m still a little self conscious about what pregnancy left on my body. I toss the cover up onto the chair and he whistles. “You’re so hot.” He groans. A blush dusts my cheeks as he cat calls me the entire walk to the stairs. “Making my rubber duckies stretch in here, baby.” I hide my face with my hand briefly, smiling behind it. “Squeak squeak!”

“Oh my god.” I giggle. He wades over to me with Luca. Along with the twining shorts, our son is wearing his blue sun shirt, bucket hat, and his life jacket. 

“Seriously. Wanna get you saddled up here.”

“Ah!” Luca yells, stopping my response. Then a high pitched squeal when Kevin brings his dripping fingers over to hit his bucket hat. 

“Are you having the best day? Went to work with daddy, got to go shopping, and now in the pool! You are going to take such a long nap.” I murmur, adjusting his bucket hat lid to flip up so he can see better. “Give mama and daddy plenty of time in here alone.” My gaze drags up Kevin’s chest, beyond his thick throat and plumped lips to his eyes. I can see his craving there. I suck my cheeks in, wading closer. He pulls me flush to him. He was not kidding about stretching rubber duckies.

Kevin and I work with Luca, helping him float on his back. At first he resists, then he likes the gentle rocking of the water. Kevin brought a few of Luca's water toys out too. Luca holds a purple octopus in his hand, squeezing it and watching as the pool water shoots out onto Kevin’s chest. He giggles, doing it again and again and again until he is beside himself, choking from laughter. 

“Our silly boy.” Kevin murmurs, bringing him back up from floating to rest against his chest. Luca settles in, long blinks starting. A yawn stretches his little mouth, then he rubs at his eyes with his fist. “Sleepy boy too.”

We leave the pool, going to the side where our chaise loungers are and a big umbrella to shield the patio with shade. Kevin gets Luca out of his wet clothes, then changes his diaper. He puts his swim stuff out in the sun to dry as I wrap myself up in a towel. Kevin replaces Luca on his chest, then drapes a towel over the two of them. Luca is out instantly as Kevin rubs his back gently. He looks so adorable with his smooched cheek and lopsided mouth.

Kevin reaches for my hand. I lace our fingers together, then kiss along his knuckles, thanking the universe for the sweetest boys being mine.

[joes-sha-la-la-la-girl]

Love Bites: Chapter 11

Series Masterlist

It was no secret between Def Leppard and Ultraviolet that Joe and Y/N were seeing each other. They decided however, not to let members of the crew find out, mostly to protect Y/N’s reputation as she was still technically with Doug. 

The two of them spent every moment they could together, Joe even went on Ultraviolet’s tour bus a few times. When he was there, Tammy noticed the difference in her best friend’s behaviour, Y/N was more outgoing and confident around Joe. Everyone could see it.

However, Y/N had been so caught up in Joe that she had forgotten to call Doug in days. She was dreading the next phone call to him, having to pretend that everything was okay between them and that she wasn’t seeing Joe. Doug was already suspicious that Y/N was cheating on him and she had no idea how to hide that she was.

When they finally stopped at the next venue, Y/N decided to bite the bullet and call Doug.

“Where are you off to love?” Joe asked as Y/N wiggled her way out of his arms.

“I have to call Doug.”

Joe smiled sadly at her. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I would say yes but I can’t let him know that I am with you and when you’re around I can’t stop smiling. He’ll hear it in my voice.” Y/N told him.

“Okay sweetheart. You know where I am.” Joe gave her hand a squeeze before letting go of her so she could call Doug. 

When Y/N dialled the familiar number, she was met with the answer phone. It was a bit of a shock to her because she didn’t realise that they had one, but she just shrugged it off that Doug had gotten one so he wouldn’t miss calls when he was out. Y/N left a short message on the phone before hanging up and returning to Joe.

“That was quick.” Joe spoke as he accepted her back into his hold.

“No answer.” She told him plainly before leaning up to peck his lips. Joe deepened the kiss, pulling her close to him by her waist. However, they were interrupted by mock gagging.

“My poor innocent eyes.” Phil joked covering his face and pretending to bump into things. Steve followed behind with uncontrollable laughter.

“There’s nothing innocent about your eyes Phillip.” Joe told him, slightly annoyed that they had been interrupted. Phil just looked at him in mock offence before he too burst out laughing. The two guitarists then left the room, off to who knows where, leaving Joe and Y/N alone again.

“We best get ready.” Y/N whispered as Joe moved to connect their lips again.

“Yeah, in a minute.” Joe then moved forward to kiss her again before eventually pulling away. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

*

A few days later they were in California. The one thing Y/N found about touring was that she was always so tired after spending nights on the bus. Nothing could take her excitement away, but she looked forward to the times she could spend either in a hotel or naps backstage if they arrived early.

California was better than Y/N could’ve imagined, Apparently Johnny was excited too because much like on the plane to America, he hadn’t shut up. Y/N wished that she could’ve joined Def Leppard on their bus just to get away from the over excited drummer. Their first Californian show was in Irvine. They were performing there for two nights before going to San Diego. 

Y/N still hadn’t managed to get a hold of Doug. She had tried to work out time zones so that she wouldn’t end up calling when he was asleep or at work but she could never seem to catch him. It wasn’t until after their first show in Irvine that she found out why.

Once Ultraviolet finished their set, like always they showered up and went back to watch Def Leppard perform. Y/N felt off for some reason. She felt like there was something different about this particular show compared to all the ones they had done before. It wasn’t until Gavin came around the corner that she realised what. 

“Look who I found.” The Ultraviolet manager announced unenthusiastically.

“Hello Y/N.”

*

Tammy had kindly said that she would tell everyone where Y/N had gone whilst she went to talk to Doug. 

“What are you doing here?” Y/N asked, obviously annoyed with her boyfriend’s presence.

“What, you're not happy to see me?” Doug asked with a smug grin on his face. He knew that Y/N didn’t want him on tour and he took much joy in the fact that he had given her no choice.

“How did you even know we were performing here tonight?”

“Well a guy from work mentioned about how his cousin had tickets to the first show in California so I booked a few days off of work and got last minute tickets. Though you should probably refund me, being your boyfriend and all.”

“That’s why you haven’t been answering.” Y/N said more to herself than anyone else.

“Anyway, aren’t you gonna hug me or something.”

“No. You should have told me you were coming. We have no room for an extra person. Or the money to accommodate them.”

“Not even me?” Doug asked with a faux pout.

“No. Not a single other partner has come along on tour. Not one person has invited themselves along either. What makes you so different?” 

“I need to keep an eye on you.”

“What?”

“Well it’s obvious Y/N. You don’t want me here so that you can sleep with whoever you want. I’m here to stop that from happening.”

“Is everything alright out here?” Y/N looked back and saw Joe make his way towards them. She could feel the nervous sweat pouring down her brow.

“Everything is fine. Isn’t it Y/N.” Doug wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She quickly moved away from him and closer to Joe. Not close enough though in her opinion.

“Actually it isn’t. Doug I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?”

“This. You followed me halfway across the world to check on me, after I told you not to come. You dragged me out of a pub because you got embarrassed. You couldn’t even be happy for me when I started to get modelling jobs and that's only to name a few things.” Y/N took a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore. We’re over.”

“You don’t get to decide that.” Doug laughed.

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t get to decide we’re over. Not after everything I’ve done for you.”

“This isn’t up for discussion Doug.”

Doug took a threatening step forward, however Joe stepped in the way. Up until that point he had kept quiet but he couldn’t let this idiot near Y/N.

“You heard her. Go.”

“Fine, I’ll go. But you're not getting anything out of my flat.” Doug tried to aggravate Y/N.

Before she could answer, Joe beckoned over security that the venue had and told them to ‘get rid’. 

“Let’s go find Tammy love.” Joe encouraged her and moved her back to the green room. 

After Def Leppard found out that Doug was there, they all gathered to wait for Y/N to come back. When her and Joe entered, Y/N immediately burst into tears in Tammy’s arms. Joe filled everyone in on everything.

“I’ll get my sister to get your stuff out of the flat before Doug gets back. Spare key still in the same place?” Tammy asked her as she passed the crying girl over to Joe so she could phone her sister. Y/N just simply nodded as she cried in Joe’s arms. 

Taglist:

@genxrocker

@elliotts-personal-property

@friccinfricks

@i-love-def-leppard

@vintagerocknrollgirl

[kyojurismo]

🪼 welcome to my 1k followers celebration !

a/n : first of all, i wanna say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! i’m forever grateful for all the people who take their time to read my work, to show a bit of support and to even interact with me. i consider myself your friendly neighbourhood writer, someone you meet casually, but it’s up to you to decide whether staying or walk forward — what the . . ? ANYWAY, this is my first time doing a celebration, and i’m really excited hehe, so yeah if you wanna know more keep reading ^_^

opening period : well, the celebration starts today ( JULY 10TH ) and finish on ( JULY 16TH ), so have fun and please don’t send anything related to the celebration after this date or else they’ll get deleted. once again, thank you !!! ♡

let’s chat : alright, if you wanna get to know me better, whether you’re curious or just bored, you can send me as many questions as you want and i’ll gladly answer them so we can get more cozy. i’m very shy and i usually tend to mind my own business, but i said this a lot: i love interacting with people. so yeah . . . this is your chance to discover how annoying i am & ask my opinions about literally anything >_<

grab your pen : i write after all, so we’re here thanks to this i guess. here you can find a bunch of lists about different prompts & scenarios you can use to send a request ( for short pieces so it will be easier for me ) to celebrate this milestone.

🪼 RULES BEFORE YOU REQUEST SOMETHING

— nsfw pieces only if you’re 17+ !

— for this, i accept request only about reader x character(s) — i accept fem, male and gender neutral readers.

— the fandom i write for are: kimetsu no yaiba, jujutsu kaisen and spy x family. if you wanna know for which characters in particular, check this post or simply try your luck by sending a character anyway ^_^

— remember to tag the request with 1K CELEBRATION, so it doesn’t get confusing.

— write the full prompt please, not only the number / letter.

🪼 PROMPT LISTS

— affectionate gestures

— fluffy scenarios

— kiss prompts

— super soft intimacy

— protective prompts

— height difference prompts

— soft prompts

— excuses to hold hands

— short angst sentence starters

— soft angst sentence starters

— inexperienced smut prompts

— smutty prompts

— subtle smut sentence starters

— bdsm & dom/sub smut prompts

— five senses prompts

🪼 1K CELEBRATION RELATED STUFF

— fluffy scenario [ sanemi shinazugawa x gn!reader ]

— “you’re gonna be fine. just stay awake for a little longer, help’s already on their way.” [ sanemi shinazugawa x gn!reader ]

— “i swear to you, that as long as i'm alive i won't let a single soul ever harm you.” [ ryomen sukuna x fem!reader ]

— “the way their eyes crinkle when they smile.” [ tengen uzui x gn!reader ]

— back hugs [ sanemi shinazugawa x gn!reader ]

— “i’ll be back very soon, but don’t come out. stay there hidden until i come back and try not to make a noise, hmm?” [ tanjiro kamado x gn!reader ]

— kisses to keep your lover quiet during sex [ kyojuro rengoku, tengen uzui, giyu tomioka x gn!reader ]

— napping together [ yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, suguru geto, ryomen sukuna x gn!reader ]

— feeding you their cooking and hoping you’ll like it [ sanemi shinazugawa x gn!reader ]

— “first one to make noises loses.” [ obanai iguro x fem!reader ]

— sliding hands under their clothes [ lady tamayo x gn!reader ]

— playing with their hair until they fall asleep [ giyu tomioka x gn!reader ]

— going in for a kiss and either bumping noses or foreheads [ kyojuro rengoku x gn!reader ]

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Cashmere and Cradles

Jean Kierstein x Pregnant!Reader

summary: y/n gets sick, and Jean worries sick. then, they’re both in for the sickest surprise of their lives.

word count: 3226

a/n: I was inspired to write this by the always lovely @quiveringdeer! this is also something close to home for me due to me incorporating my personal experiences, so plz be nice in the notes ya’ll (everyone always is but I like putting the disclaimer there for certain fics)

masterlist

I haven’t stopped being nauseous since I woke up. Is this really all because I had an anxiety attack from that one asshole? I already googled it, maybe it’s the fact that I drank a ton of water right when I woke up. I don’t know. I could barely touch the alfredo noodles we had last night, but I thought that was just me being anxious. Jean looked a little concerned at dinner, but I told him I was fine when he kissed me goodbye this morning. Just tired.

Really, I’m exhausted. I feel my stomach lurch, and I realize, I’m going to throw up. I run to the bathroom as fast as possible, nearly missing the toilet, and the last bits of undigested dinner from last night come up, along with bile and all the water from earlier. When I stop retching, I flush the toilet, and stand up dizzily. I brush my teeth to get rid of the remaining vomit, gargle a million times, and wipe my face, which has tears streaming down from the pain. Without fail, my body always feels like it’s been shoved into a trash compactor when I throw up.

When I’m finished cleaning myself up, I decide to go back to bed. The thought of trying to keep food down right now is an awful one. I text Jean to tell him I think I got a stomach bug, and he immediately texts me back asking why. I smile to myself, rolling my eyes a bit. He’s such a worry wart. Just puked, but I feel a lot better. Must’ve been why I was tired, I reply.

Do you need anything? He asks me, and I can imagine his furrowed eyebrows right in front of me.

You’re so sweet, baby. No, I just need sleep.

Have you eaten today?

No. If I eat right now I probably won’t keep it down. I never can after throwing up. I’ll eat when I wake back up. Love you xo

Ok, love you too babygirl xo

I smile to myself, then set my phone down on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

I’m woken by my phone vibrating on the nightstand. “Hello?” I answer groggily, and am spooked by Connie’s annoyingly loud voice.

“Y/n! Someone’s pregnant!” He yells into my ear. I hold my phone far away from me, pinching the bridge of my nose. Somehow, he’s already given me a headache. “Who?”

“I don’t know, but Sasha said her mom had a dream about fish! And you know what that means!” He says. I do not know what that means.

I yawn, asking, “Does it mean she misses her son-in-law’s cooking? Niccolo should visit her again soon.”

Connie pauses. “Hey, were you asleep before I called you?”

“Yes. Very peacefully, I might add. I have the flu.”

“W-why didn’t you tell me?!” He yells at me, and I wince.

“Connie, shut the fuck up! I have a migraine because of you! And because, I thought it would be obvious!” I say.

“Huh?” Connie asks in exasperation. “It’s three in the afternoon! How am I supposed to know you took a midday nap?”

“I never took a nap…” I trail off when I realize that means I’ve slept for basically 14 hours straight, excluding my short time being awake this morning. “Damn. I didn’t think I was this sick.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up, y/n.” Connie apologizes, panic gone from his voice.

I wave him off, not realizing he can’t see me for a few seconds. “No, no, it’s fine. I needed to get up anyways, I have commissions I need to work on, sick or not. Anyways, what’s your point? About the fish and somebody being pregnant.”

“Oh! Right!” He exclaims. “So, dreams have meaning. There’s symbolism in them that rings true.”

“Why are you using the word symbolism? That has no business being in your vocabulary, it’s out of your intelligence bracket.” I say, snickering to myself when he pauses to process what I’ve said.

“Hey! I know things, okay?!” Connie defends himself after realizing I called him stupid. “Anyways, when someone dreams about a fish, it means someone they know is pregnant. And there’s always someone who’s pregnant.

“Mhm.” I say. “Well, if you figure out who that pregnant person is, tell me so I can congratulate them on making a terrible financial decision for the next eighteen plus years. I’m tired, so I’m gonna go back to bed.”

Connie says, “But didn’t you just talk about how much work you were gonna do?”

“Times change, Connie,” I respond, “That, and I just got even more tired than I was when I first answered the phone. I think you’re just exhausting me with your idiocy.”

Connie gasps, and I swear I can hear him clutching his imaginary pearls. “Hurtful!”

I sigh. “Goodbye, Connie.”

He groans, like I’ve just ruined his plans to gossip about pregnancy candidates. “Bye, y/n.” The phone hangs up with a beep, and I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling as I think to myself. There aren’t many options, in all honesty. Ymir and Historia could have decided they wanted to start a family, Eren and Mikasa, Annie and Bertholdt, even Sasha and Niccolo. I’m sick as a dog, so I’m already counted out — can’t have a baby when you’re busy having stomach flu. Before I know it, I’m lulled back to sleep by the comfort of the plush mattress and cushy blankets.

When I come to, it’s sunset, and the offending noise that wakes me is Jean’s keys jangling in the doorknob. I would get up to unlock the door for him, but I’m too groggy to move more than a finger. The door squeaks open, and I hear him put his keys down on the counter, stepping out of his shoes. “Y/n?” He calls, concern laced in his voice.

“Over here!” I respond in turn, yawning and stretching a bit. Jean’s footsteps make the apartment vibrate. He’s not heavy, but the infrastructure isn’t immune to jiggle physics. He turns the concern and I can see the wrinkles forming in real time, all because of me. Then, I can see flowers and a card. “Baby!” I exclaim in surprise, “Is that for me?”

He smiles, and he’s no longer aged by seven years. “I couldn’t come home to my girl empty-handed now, could I? How are you feeling?” He sets the flowers down on the bed, along with the card, and gathers me into a gentle hug, kissing me on the cheek.

“Babe,” I argue, “Don’t, you’ll get sick.”

“And get to take time off to spend with the most beautiful person in the world? Sounds great to me.” He grins when I roll my eyes, then asks, “Did you stay in bed all day?”

I nod. “Yea, I felt pretty shitty. No throwing up aside from the one time, though. Oh! And guess what? According to Sasha’s mom, somebody’s pregnant. The fish in her dreams told her so.”

He meets my eyes with a knowing look, his smile ever-present. “I am taking this so seriously right now, I swear. And who did we hear this fish dream news from?”

“Connie, who dared to wake me from my slumber.” I sigh, sitting up in the bed so I can be on eye-level with Jean.

Jean says, “I see, I see. Sounds like indisputable fact, if you ask me.”

“No, babe. We’re asking the dream fish.”

He laughs, and I laugh with him. “Okay, enough bullying people for being superstitious. You need some water, and soft foods. You probably haven’t eaten all day, have you?” I shake my head no. Jean says, “Well, I’m not Chef Niccolo, but I can make something pretty saucy. I’ll see what I can manage.”

“Do we have…” I start, but trail off, realizing it was a stupid question. Of course we wouldn’t have Kraft mac and cheese. “Nevermind.” I say with a smile at Jean as he looks at me inquisitively.

Fifteen minutes later, he brings me a bowl of noodles with shredded chicken in it. “Is this alright?” He asks me, and I can see he genuinely is worried I won’t like it.

I smile gratefully at him. “Of course, thank you baby. You don’t have to worry about me, the nausea seems to be the worst of it.” I feel a twinge in my stomach looking at the food, but I know it’s just me being finicky because I’m sick. I have to eat something if I want to get better.

He pats my back. “All right, I’m gonna hop in the shower. The door’s unlocked if you need anything, as per usual.” He kisses my forehead, then leaves me to handle business.

When he’s out of sight, I stare at my food like it’s insulting me. My stomach feels like it’s doing flips, and I would rather go back to sleep, but I know if I don’t eat anything, Jean will freak. His mom used to get sick all the time — bad immune system — so now, after everything I’ve been through, he watches over me like a mother hen.

And what is it that I’ve been through? Well… a miscarriage. And an eating disorder. It was for the better that the miscarriage happened, because neither of us were ready for a kid, but it was grueling. I only found out I was pregnant because of the miscarriage, and it left me even more physically and emotionally drained than I already had been for the month before. It explained the nausea, and the inability to eat most foods, but after the miscarriage, I continued being unable to eat. I lost a lot of weight, and when I finally went to the doctor’s office, they recommended I start eating protein bars to regain what I’d lost. I did, and I haven’t lost the weight again since then, but Jean fusses over me, because he knows my eating disorder is a daily battle, not one that just goes away. I tell him not to worry, that as long as I’m keeping my current weight then we have nothing to worry about, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Or, for accuracy’s sake, it’s like talking to a magical brick wall that finds the most anxiety-inducing message in all of your words and echoes that back to you.

The miscarriage and the events after it happened years ago, but I remember it like yesterday, and so does Jean. Every now and then, we whisper to each other at night, talking about what might have happened if I hadn’t miscarried.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about all of this right now. Maybe it’s because the nausea I’m feeling now reminds me of back then. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, then mentally prepare myself to take a bite of food. I stab the fork into my noodles and twist, twist, twist, until I have a reasonable lump of noodles around my fork, ready to be eaten. I lift it up into my mouth, and when I smell the noodles… it’s over.

I throw my fork down, quickly setting my bowl down on the nightstand and run to the bathroom faster than the speed of light. I nearly slam the door open, and start puking as soon as the toilet seat and lid are propped up. I hear Jean pull back the shower curtain as I heave, splatters of liquid and mush landing in the toilet. The room is already steamed up – he loves hot showers. We both do, to be fair. “Babe? Are you okay?” He asks me, and it takes literally everything in me to not snap at him and say that I’m obviously not okay.

I give him a thumbs up. “I don’t know why, but just smelling the food made me nauseous. What was the expiration date on the canned chicken?”

As water trickles down his bare chest, sculpted abs dividing my attention, Jean says, “I just bought that on Saturday. No way it’s expired. If you can’t eat, why don’t you try taking a shower? You’ve been in sick clothes all day.” I put the lid down and flush the toilet, slowly nodding as I stand up. I strip down, joining him in the spray as he holds his hand out for me to take. Always the gentleman. I’m sandwiched between him and the warm water, and I sigh, feeling some relief for once. He slides his hands around my waist, kissing my cheek and leaning his head against mine, sighing with me. “I’m sorry you’re so sick, baby.”

I turn around to face him, the water hitting my backside as I wrap my arms around his neck, looking up at him. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” I get up on my tip-toes to kiss him, and where nausea once was in my stomach, a fire suddenly rages – a fire of want, of desperate need. I close my eyes, deepening the kiss and pressing my body against his. “Baby.” I pant out, reaching down for his member as I feel the slick growing between my thighs.

He grunts, stopping the kiss and holding my arms, stepping away. “Not right now, y/n. You’re sick. It would just make you worse. Let’s wait until you’re feeling better, yea?” I hadn’t actually touched him yet, but I can already see that he’s clearly aroused.

I frown to myself. I’m disappointed, but he’s right. “Yea, right. Sorry.” I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but right now, I feel riled up for no apparent reason. What is happening to me?

We finish our shower, and he grabs out the silkiest pair of pajamas for me, helping me dry off and put them on before helping me into bed, and I note he removed the offending food from the area. I don’t know how I managed to meet someone as kind as him. “Hey,” He asks me, “Weren’t you supposed to start your period a few days ago?”

I think to myself, then nod in confirmation. “I think I was. No big deal, though. I’d probably be miserable if I had to deal with that and this at the same time.” He looks deep in thought. “What is it?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I’m just worried about you, is all. Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll run to the store to get some hot cocoa for you to try?” Hot cocoa sounds delicious right now, I’ll give him that. It’s not usually something I crave, but maybe some sugar is just the thing I need after all of this bullshit.

I smile, then lay back in bed. “Okay, baby. See you then.”

When I wake up, it’s to Jean sitting at my feet, holding some kind of stick in his hand, eyes wide in shock, jaw completely slack. I look to my right and spot two mugs of cocoa sitting on my nightstand, one half-drunk. “Baby? What is it?” I ask him, unable to push myself up.

“I… I… I didn’t think… I only had an inkling of a hunch as to what it might be, but…” He stammers, more to himself than to me.

I sigh forcefully. “Jean. Baby. What is it?”

“Baby.” He says.

“Yes, I’m listening, Jean,” I reply, a bit annoyed that he isn’t listening. It’s not like him. “What is it?” I ask again, with more emphasis.

“A baby.” He says, and when he lifts up his hand to show me, I realize he’s holding not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests. And they all are positive. “You forgot to flush the toilet when you peed after getting out of the shower.”

Now, my face matches his. “What???” I say, suddenly jolting up into a sitting position, but not without a wave of nausea rolling over me. “I… what are we gonna do?” I say, panic setting in.

Jean answers, “We’re gonna do what you want to do, of course.” He leans over, setting the tests down on my nightstand and grabbing my hand, squeezing it. “If you don’t feel ready…”

“I–” I cut myself off when I feel my lip wobble. Tears suddenly well up in my eyes, and I fight the urge to let them loose. “Jean, I can’t.” I see the disappointment in his eyes, and I start to cry. “I can’t lose another one, Jean, I can’t. Please.”

He pauses, taken aback, but quickly hugs me to comfort me. “Oh, y/n, don’t cry, don’t cry. I’m an idiot, I thought you were saying ‘I can’t’ as in, you couldn’t keep it, I’m an idiot, ignore my initial reaction.”

I sniffle and wipe my eyes. “Wait…” I ask, “You mean you would rather me keep it?”

Jean laughs, and I almost puke from the vibrations alone, but I don’t care right now. “Yes, yes, I absolutely would rather you keep it, but I’ll support you either way.”

I start crying even more. “Oh, thank God, thank God, I thought…”

Jean pulls back slightly, but only to place kiss upon kiss all over my face. He pauses, looking me in the eye. “Put that thought away. It doesn’t have any place here.” He then places his arm behind my back, laying me back down on the bed. He starts unbuttoning my pajama top, just a few buttons from the waist up. He kisses my stomach, right below my belly button. “Hey, baby.” He whispers against my abdomen, and I lightly push him away with my arms.

“Baby. As cute as that is, please don’t. The vibrations make me nauseous.” I smile tiredly, but beckon him to lay next to me. He happily joins me, throwing an arm over my stomach and sliding under the covers.

Quietly, he says, “How does the cocoa smell?”

“Good.” I whisper.

He chuckles. “My mom said she liked that when she was pregnant with me.”

Sassily, I say, “Oh, so the baby has your taste, does he?”

And he says, “Possibly. Is it selfish of me to want them to be a girl? I’d love to have two of you around here. Plus, then Connie won’t try to make me name them after him in honor of him being the first one to share the news of your pregnancy.”

I roll my eyes. “Right, the fish gods.”

“I thought they were dream fish?”

“Same shit.” I scoff. “Can we just… never tell him?”

Jean hums. “Mmm… unfortunately, that might be a little suspect. We have to tell my mom first, anyways. Gramas always have seniority. Want me to wait a bit?”

I respond, “Maybe for a week, that way you can say I got you sick and you can’t go into work.”

Jean groans. “Babe, how are you so hot, so smart, and so pregnant with my kid, all at once? I feel so lucky right now.” He kisses my collar bone, laying back beside me like I’ve knocked him out with my grand idea.

I laugh, hand resting on my stomach. “You’re an idiot, Jean.”

“Just a fool in love,” He says, “Thinking about cashmere blankets and cedarwood cradles.”

[ldh-headcannon]

Reaction to S/O being sick

Hey guys! So sorry about the hiatus but it’s been a long few months. I’ve been sick on and off since mid-August. And if I wasn’t sick I was working some long hours at work. So in short. I’ve been burnt out for a while. 

But this whole situation I had has inspired me to write a new reaction headcannon. I had my sibling pick 4 random characters and I will write how I think they will react to their s/o being sick so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Fujio:

So it all starts with him calling you and asking if you want to hang out

You apologize and tell him that you’re sick and can’t today

This over-dramatic dude starts screaming over the phone

“What?! Stay right there! I’ll be over shortly!”

He hangs up before you can say anything

You just sit there confused cuz you’re sick, where would you even go?

Not even a full hour later Fujio is knocking on your door

He’s out of breath, holding bags full of medicine

He had Jamuo buy it all for him lol

He’ll walk in as soon as the door’s open and sets the bags on the coffee table

He’ll tell you to sit before setting off to fetch you blankets and pillows

He puts on your favorite movie and cuddles up to you

LIke, he is definitely the one to be like “My cuddles are the best form of healing”

He does laugh a little too loudly at the funny films you guys turn on

And he will wake you up from your constant napping cuz of it

But he doesn’t mean to and feels bad about it each time it happens

Our boy just gets carried away real easily

And he won’t leave your side for anything except bathroom breaks

He’ll stay with you till you feel better

Somehow only gets a minor cold from hanging out with you that entire time

Koo:

Am I the only one to think he is prolly a total germaphobe?

So you call him up to complain about being sick

And he responds with “Alright. I’ll be right over”

30 minutes later you’re getting a call from Koo

“Hey, open the door. I’m outside”

You go to welcome your boyfriend in and to thank him for taking care of you

But instead you’re greeted by bags of medicine and a pot of soup

You look around and find Koo across the street leaning on his bike

He gives you a small smile and a bow before taking off

He sends you a text that says “Eat the soup quickly before it cools”

He calls you frequently as a means to check up on you

And he continues to drop off medicine and food like a free version of Door Dash

But he never actually comes in contact with you

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be there for you

He just hates the idea of getting sick

He hates it so much that even if you guys live together he isn’t risking it

Dude will straight up stay at Club Heaven till you’re feeling better

He’d still end up sick somehow

Yukken:

So you text him how you’re sick and all but you never get a reply from him

You’re sitting around, pouting between your coughs and sniffles

He dare Yukken just leave you on read like that?

Especially when you’re feeling like absolute garbage?!?

But after a bit you hear a knock on the door and find your boyfriend and a few other Houssen students carrying medicine, ice packs, bottled water, and heating pads

You step aside as he ushers them all in to drop everything off

He dismisses them all before leading you to bed

He lays beside you as you cuddle

He makes sure you have a bucket near just in case

He teases that if you throw up he’s leaving

But really he’ll hold your hair out of your face and rub your back

And if he gets sick from you he will absolutely become a needy child that you will have to do basically everything for

Naomi:

As soon as she finds out you’re sick it’s like she enters into mom-mode

She closes the restaurant early and delivers you some home made soup

When she gets to your place she doesn’t even knock

She just invites herself in since you prolly have keys to each other’s place

She will announce herself though so she doesn’t scare you so much

She finds you covered in blankets on the couch

And she will instantly bombard you with questions like “How are you feeling? How long have you felt like this? Have you taken anything? What is your temp?”

She offers you soup and cuddles

She ends up staying at your place and helps cook and clean till you feel better

You remind her that she doesn’t have to do all that

But Naomi just smiles and tells you that you can pay her back by doing the same for her when she is sick

She continues to work at the restaurant during the days but closes early in the evenings so she can continue to take care of you at night

I feel like it’s super rare for this girl to get sick so she prolly will still be healthy as a horse once you feel all better

[starjxsung]

starrrrr 💕💕💕 I missed youuu

school is literally starting up again I'm so over it already 😭 senior year guys let's goo

HEY I TURNED 20??? LIKE IT FEELS WEIRD TO SAY IM TWENTY YEARS OLD NOW. buttt it also just feels the same lmao

but I have bigger things to worry about, like trying to get SKZ tickets when they release the US dates. i just hope I get good seats 😭 honestly I hope I get any seat bc this would be my first time seeing them live IM SO EXCITED... it feels crazy to think that I've been a stay for over two years now... i remember just getting into them as they closed off oddinary era, and my first comeback with them was maxident. it literally feels like a couple months ago, and I feel like time is flying by so fast now, literally every year just goes by quicker and quicker 😭

yk maybe that's a good thing bc my surgery is scheduled (as of now) for October 31st, which I don't remember if I told you the date or not but yeah. I'm glad I could get on the books pretty quick, but it also feels a little too quick, yk?? i just feel like there's so much to think about especially bc I've never had anything remotely like this before... the only time I've had anything down was stitches on my lip when I was like five 😭 (I banged into a clock, don't ask...) but it's kind of overwhelming even for me. but at the same time I still feel a bit iffy about it, I just want to get it done and see if it works.

but yeah anyways I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO KISS YOU STAR BB!!!! feel free to write an essay for me to read about your life and literally everything you're doing bc I need to distract myself from starting senior year 😔😔

miley says hello and that she loves you 💕💕

MY LOOOOOVEEEEEEE OH MY GOD. IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. HOW’VE YOU BEEN????

Also HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY???? 20 YEARS OLD!!!!!!! FUCKKKKK THAT’S SUCH A FUN AGE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT SO MUCH RAHHHH did you do anything to celebrate???? Dinner? Cake?????? HAPPY FRICKIN BIRTHDAYYYYY LIVE IT UP SO HARD 20 IS GOING TO BE AMAZING TO YOU 🎉🫶🎊

Also FELTTTTTT on the skz tickets part oh my god 😭 even just seeing the start of the tour and seeing all the clips has me PANICKING…… like if I don’t get to see Bang Chan solo stage with that shirt off…… hell nah. I can’t believe how fast time is going by too???? Like wym we’re already past ate promotions and the Korean shows are finished????? That doesn’t sound real 😭 TIME ISNT REAL YALL

Also I am SO GLAD you were able to get your surgery on the books!!! I know it seems really scary but at least once you’re finished with all the prepping and everything, it’ll just be like one big long nap and then you’ll be finished 🥹 sending you so much love and good vibes and manifesting the surgery goes smoothly and that you’ll feel so much better after it. I’ll be thinking of you all Halloween!!! I’m so proud of you I promise everything is going to be okay and you’re so strong and capable of getting through it! ❤️

I love you so so so much I hope the start to senior year has been nothing short of amazing!!!! My life has been the boring same usual shit but I’m insanely busy with work (I really should be sleeping rn bc I have a 7am meeting tomorrow lollll) but !!!! I’m excited for fall and everything’s fine! I just need to take the world’s longest nap tbh

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY ANGEL a million hugs and kisses for you as always ALSO THANK U FOR MY DAILY DOSE OF MILEY I LOVE HER SO MUCH…. I offer you a momo in exchange (she loves you too !!!!)

[untitled-smp]

Broadcast #05 - Moth - WZRD Verdigris Radio

In the heart of the Corroded faction, an enigmatic man, better known as the Wizard, releases his first radio broadcast to the world. We hope you’ll become a listener.

This week’s song is “Rose” by The Oh Hellos

< =o= >

WZRD Verdigris Radio is written, produced, and edited by @theecryptiid.

The Wizard is voiced by Cass theecryptiid.

< =o= >

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[Transcript below the cut]

Good afternoon listeners! Spring is upon us, and that means planting season. Hopefully the tunes and such have been a good way to keep spirits high as we begin our long days in the fields. For those of you who take the train line from your sleepy little towns to the various locations, I have a message from train line architect Joco about the state of them this week. 

"Over the course of the next month, the main rail line and extending branches will be experiencing sectional closures for renovation. These closures only affect actual use of the rails, horses and walking will still be safe throughout the lines. Please take caution when using carts on the line, and keep in mind how to quickly and safely exit the cart in case of emergency. If you see me napping on the support structures, I am simply testing them and not sleeping on the job. Thank you, and always remember to shake out your boots before going inside."

So yes, please heed that warning, it would be no good to have some poor soul accidentally fling themselves off the line in a wayward minecart. 

I had the chance to converse with one of the new folks in Corroded the other day, a fellow by the name of Achilles. Being so new, and as I quickly learned, newer in fact, than some of the others, it was a bit confused about where it was and what was happening. The two of us had a good conversation over this imported coffee I bought while in Wisteria the other week. Seems strange things are happening again, but according to what Achilles told me, this time it might not have anything to do with the Unknown we all know so well. 

He told me about a place much different than our own, somewhere where death is not forgiven quite like it is here. It’s called Caduceus, I think, if I’m remembering it correctly, like the staff. Death is eh…more permanent there than it is here, things are different. The world works differently. To make a long story very short, it’s not supposed to be here, so it was wanting some help to get home. Though I can’t claim to be much more than a friendly ear, I did spend the majority of my adolescence studying things like this, so I gave advice the best I could. We came to a conclusion in the end that will hopefully allow him to get back home, he just needs to collect some items to build something of importance. 

In talking with Achilles I came to realize something, we as the Corroded faction are a bit splintered as of late. I know we are people without laws, and even mention of any type of governing body scares off most folk out here, but I am personally missing the feeling of community. So I was thinking, there’s a lot of gunpowder and dye lying around here in Verdigris, and it’s been a while since we’ve had really any sort of fun celebration, so why not hold a festival at some point in the future? Lights, colors, sounds, celebration, and more importantly lots of good food. It’d be nice, get everyone together, and try and build up some of the community we lost after the previous world. 

I’ll make some sort of community board in Verdigris and leave a post or something up about it if people have any thoughts. Well, anyway, here’s our next song for today. Take it away!

[anhourofsleep]

Favorite Umbrella

I didn’t expect the rain.

All day, the sun was shining its blistering rays. When I left the house, I could feel the heat prickling on my skin, determined to persuade me to just stay inside.

It was Sunday. I can’t stay inside.

So when I went home at 9 PM, grateful for the ride home from my friends, the sudden, strong downpour was not something I wished for. Obviously, this will make it harder for me to go home. But I didn’t want this because I know, deep in the crevices of my short-circuiting brain that I did not bring an umbrella.

The rain was sudden. And it was strong. When it was at the crescendo of its power, I panicked. The sidewalk was clean of waiting sheds (screw poor urban planning, amirite?). I kept moving forward, hoping to find something. Anything, at this point. Because I knew if I don’t, I’ll get soaked and I’ll be miserable.

Shortly after I bet my whole life on just moving ahead and hoping for the best, I found myself in front of a car dealership, with a single, pop-up canopy still up. I hurried along and got under it just in time for the rain to drop like a hot new BINI single (I am not good with analogies).

Fall like rain indeed. With me safe under this tent, I watched as the rain became torrent, generously sharing its water as if everyone in this part of the city has had none for the past few years. It looked like it wasn’t stopping any time soon. I accepted that this was going to take a while, so I paced back and forth under the shade, getting weary as each second went by.

So I just decided to pray. Might as well do something. My bluetooth headphones are dead and I can’t lay down to nap (obviously).

I started reflecting on what’s been happening so far. I feel like I’m at a major fork in the road. I have gone through some, but this feels different. This feels like the moment. Like in the movies where the hero has to choose; the world or his loved one? Do or die, my good sir.

At this fork, my battle within myself rages on. The choice to be happy is hard when melancholy is so comfortable. They say change is the only constant thing in the world. And I’m constantly ignoring its calls.

I’m used to doing things on my own. I don’t care how anyone does it. And it worked for me. Right...?

“Nope. It did not.” I said out loud.

It’s fine. There are no people around and if there were, the rain would be loud enough to mask my voice.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It did not work out for me. I am a mess. I am broken. When I feel like everyone around me is having the time of their life, I am in my own world where the only one speaking is that gloomy blue star in the Mario Movie, going “Everything’s over now and all that’s left is you in an infinite void” over and over again.

And it all happened in an instant. It’s like this sudden downpour, where I am left to just move forward, regardless if I find shelter or not.

I looked for it in a lot of things. Most of it is in the company of people who want me to drink my troubles away. That worked for them, they said. But it’ll be like if I try and ask someone to walk with me in this rain and both of us have no raincoats or umbrellas. I’ll be glad of the company, but we’re both soaked, right?

For a time, I was content in doing this. It’s the familiar. It’s something that made me comfortable because it was my constant. I don’t want to look for a new life. This is it for me. Why should I strive for something better? But I felt it. I felt it in my heart that I have to move forward. Even if I can’t see how I’m going to be okay.

When I was slipping over and over again that made me look like I was just lying down, God held out His hand through the people in this community. When I accepted that this is the peak for me, He told me no and sent out people to help me up.

He doesn’t want me down there. He wants me up because I have a job to finish.

However, He also knows I can’t brave the storm yet. So He guided me to a canopy where I should just sit back and revel in the isolation because He knows I’ll get to know Him more here. He removed me from the world because I’ve been trying too hard to go through it on my own. He provided me shade because He knows that I have yet to acquire my umbrella.

Through the raging torrent, I found shelter. A shelter that I can stay in to wait out the storm and with people who are waiting with me. People isolated from the cruelty of the world, finding solace in God’s protection.

When the rain stops, I’ll be more careful to bring my umbrella next time. If the storm comes again, I’ll use it and maybe help out someone who got caught in the rain and lead them to their canopy. The same way that the people in mine did for me.

For now, let the storm prove its point. I will be waiting here, safe in the shade.

Isaiah 4:5-6