#no superficial things just.. genuine.
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the urge to write jo when he was young / late20s-early30s is strong bc he was just a baby.
#ooc.#tbd.#be his friend that last long.#he needs that sometimes.#no superficial things just.. genuine.
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So I finished the Rimet Cup Event
It was really good! I enjoyed the event story a lot, mostly because of the characters and how they moved the plot along. Nothing felt boring or dragged out longer than it should, plus the character interactions were funny and wholesome.
Melania was a queen, I thought she was cool at first but seeing her in action was amazing. I also liked her dynamic with Ms. Acey, and her plan to steal the Rimet Cup was interesting to watch unfold. Pickles was cool too, though what really got me invested was his relationship with Charlton. Regulus and Mr. APPle’s side plot was funny, I’m glad I got to see more of them.
The character who really stole the show for me was Diggers. I already liked him because prior to this event I thought he was a typical chill hippie dude that was just a little in over his head. Then I found out that apparently people hated this guy because it turned out he was lowkey a terrorist??? Bro was stealing documents, disrupting the peace, drugged a whole BLOCK of people to throw an improvised block party, and apparently in a scene I haven’t seen yet, kidnapped Pickles because he got more attention than him?!
I thought my opinion on him would shift watching these events unfold but no, I love him all the same. He’s just this chaotic, silly lil dude who wants to spread peace (by doing it in the worst way possible)! This man was honestly hilarious, and the fact that he may or may not have joined the Manus Vindictae in 1.4 is just insane to me. Bro really thought the best way to spread peace and love was to join a literal terrorist cult, that’s actually hilarious.
TL;DR: event rerun was great, Diggers was the best character, I love him 🥰
#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 diggers#i love him so much#And before anyone asks:#No I do not agree with this man’s methods#Nor would I support him if he were real#I just find him incredibly entertaining#Also if you hate diggers thats totally valid#I can understand how a good chunk of people hate him for being a peace disturbing hypocrite who only opposes the law unless it suits him#Plus theres the whole “drugging people” thing#I just appreciate how Reverse 1999 is ok with making characters who are genuinely flawed and not just superficially imperfect#Anyways thats all I have to say goodbye and good luck on your pulls 👍
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Another parallel between Valjean and Javert is that they’re eerily silent when captured or threatened.
Jean Valjean being captured by Patron-Minette:
The silence preserved by the prisoner, that precaution which had been carried to the point of forgetting all anxiety for his own life, that resistance opposed to the first impulse of nature, which is to utter a cry….
Javert being captured by Les Amis:
Javert had not uttered a single cry.
The other police spy who’s captured at the barricade— Le Cabuc— is not like Javert, in that he behaves like a normal person. He cries out in pain and anger and fear; he begs for mercy; he prays. But Javert is inhumanly tranquil, and reacts to his death with indifference.
Jean Valjean, when captured by Patron-Minette, is similar. He acts eerily “calm,” and inhumanly “silent.” Of course in Valjean’s case, he has to be silent, because he’s aware that the police would only hurt him if they arrived; his politeness is also a survival strategy. Knowing how to behave in a superficially polite solicitous way to avoid punishment from authority is clearly something he’s had to learn to survive prison.
This parallel feels like another way the trauma of prison has affected both of Valjean and Javert’s lives. Javert spent time in prison as a child, Valjean spent nineteen years serving his sentence— and both of them have now learned to silence “the first impulse of nature” to cry for help. They know instinctively how to behave in situations where they are trapped in another person’s power and have no autonomy. They are able to remain calm and tranquil and even “polite” even when they’re threatened with death.
#les mis#Jean Valjean#valjean javert parallels#in javerts case he had it coming but like#it’s still sad yknow#how good he is at following the script#and Valjean is just. an unbearably sad beast always#I feel like people miss the way so much of his ‘politeness’ is a survival strategy#because like! he is a kind compassionate merciful person#who genuinely cares about people (even ‘bad’ people) and attempts to help them#but there are also a lot of scenes where he is just superficially polite as a way to avoid being tortured imprisoned or killed#………#also I feel like you could make a bad silly valvert joke about this#about the “’both of them are eerily silent and never cry out even in pain’ thing#but im not sure what that joke is#valvert fic where they attempt to have sex but are awkwardly silent the whole time#?#XD
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honestly understanding is different from acceptance and dark and daisuke don't really ever ask for anyone to understand them. dark especially super doesn't care and doesn't ever even have first hope of anybody understanding him. it's okay if you or your muse don't 'get' how dark and daisuke work because it doesn't really matter, knowing how they work is for Me, the Mun. what DOES actually matter to them is whether or not you think they're still like, cool and worth talking to or being friendly with. you don't have to get what goes on between them as long as you can acknowledge the absolutely baseline understanding that they are the same person. that's enough.
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#sons (singular) or son(plural) still sums it up best imo though. two of one of them. 👍#this post was made in lieu of me still being too lazy to do#some massive multi-para essay on the dynamics of Why Dark and Daisuke are actually#like basically literally thru n thru from just about almost every perspective one singular chara#their feelings are shared and the same the way their attitudes work are shared and the same#their motivations are the same their backstories are shared and the same etc etc#genuinely it's mostly just superficials like appearance/surface level attitude that differ!!!#which is also why when ppl try to have diff deeper dynamics like- if u go far enough with either#they always end up the same thing LMAO#the morningstar and eveningstar are both the same star. you can comprehend that right. same bit here with daisuke and dark
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blegh
#delete later#this is me just yelling into the void for a moment#but god I think I need to look into doing smth about my meds#:))) been on a steady mental health decline since at LEAST august#and it’s only gotten worse since the new year started cries#I’m trying to do homework and I can’t even focus on it#struggling so bad#but I don’t. trust anyone to actually talk and I’ve been pulling closer to myself#so I just bury myself in school and writing and distractions (there aren’t many)#I don’t know I think I’m tired#really tired of how things have been#how alone I feel#life has genuinely felt exhausting lately#all of my relationships feel so superficial with the exception of like. a small few#I want deeper connections but lately I feel like I’m just not built for friendship#it really feels like I’m just not supposed to have friends because I’m not a good one or I’m not a good person and I just Exist#in loneliness#and that hurts SO bad#can it please get better already#please#between online and irl I am at my limit T-T#ANYWAYS. back to being productive and doing stuff
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“think of the children!” no. you aren’t. the people in power couldn’t give two shits about the children. the people in power look away when it comes to genuine concerns about children the second it impedes upon their lifestyle, their beliefs.
and you know what it is that bothers them so? children wanting safety. children not wanting to live in fear of being murdered. children who want to be loved and accepted for who they are. children who are raised to be those kids you hear others complain about on social media because nobody was there to teach them better. they don’t know better because they quite literally can’t.
oh but it’s for the kids, right? protect the kids, right? turn a blind eye to death and discrimination and neglect, right? that’s how we’ll protect them, right?
#i’ve been stewing on this for so fucking long it is exhausting the state of this stupid fucking piece of shit government and how much worse#it gets day by day. i am so sick of people with superficial titles shoving religion into places it shouldn’t be INSISTING they are#protecting what matters and yet in the face of such examples they couldn’t care less. i am tired of people like them using these moral#arguments as a GUISE to enact whatever they want just because they’re upset over some tiny thing.#no one could give two fucks you saw two men kissing on the internet and got personally offended. no one could give a singular#flying FUCK you’re upset people want to ban things that harm so much more than they do good. if you’re going to be such a genuine#piece of shit awful person do it without a safety net. fucking cowards and snakes.#jesus christ man. sorry for the tangent but this kind of shit never fails to irritate me.
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watched the kdrama celebrity over the last few days. was hooked from the first few seconds bc the EDITING in the show, & just the cinematography in general is on a whole nother fuckin level, man.
also, just. a really great show in general. v good at building suspense & throwing loops & very nice themes/takeaways. also just a rly interesting way to convey those themes/takeaways.
i think the only issue we had w it was the romance, but. eh. it wasn't so bad that it took away from the ample amount of good shit in the show.
def recommend it!! especially to anyone who really enjoyed the glory bc it has v similar themes.
#mine#celebrity#celebrity kdrama#i think it's definitely a v interesting & SUPER fucking relevant for modern times exploration of jealousy in the modern age#it definitely felt v cathartic in a lot of ways for someone who has so much trauma surrounding jealousy being aimed towards me#& it resonated too as someone pursuing content creation#idk how the instagram grind is at ALL. ive literally never used instagram properly & rly have zero cares to.#but. all of the shit portrayed still resonates in any field of content creation#& i think its overall message of the dangers of modern jealousy in the digital age & esp the hatred in can create were done rly well.#i wish i could make it universally required viewing honestly. esp bc it's like. the message of not just the average person#but specifically ppl even in ur own circles can turn on u at the drop of a hat for such superficial shit these days.#ive heard a LOT of content creators sharing v similar experiences to ones portrayed in the show. esp the holier than thou attitude.#it def comes across as the creator did research or even has experience w these things themself bc damn. it's accurate.#and once again. THE EDITING IS SO FUCKING GOOD MAN#THAT OPENING SCENE I COULD WATCH FOREVER IT'S SO DAMN GOOD. AND SMOOTH. AND THE OP?!?!?!? BANGER!!!#id recommend it for the editing alone honestly#it's just a nice bonus that it's also just a genuinely rly great show that i think is important to watch#esp if u consume a lot of content creators online or are one urself.#much to think abt and analyze. reflect on. def opened our eyes a lot.
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Maturing is realising that those girls were actually jealous of you. YES YOU. Even if you genuinely think "no they're prettier/ have a 'nicer' body" or whatever. You think people don't envy your radiant smile?? The way you make everyone around you feel comfortable and welcome and safe? You think people can't be jealous of your hair or your style or your confidence? Your humour?? Everyone has insecurities and if someone is going out of their way to bring you down idc if they're mega rich or stunningly beautiful, they are most probably jealous.
#it may sound immature but its the truth#just watch their behaviour#is most of what comes out of their mouth gossip about others?? or hateful things?#are they always around people and talking about superficial things?#are they ever fucking nice to anyone in a genuine way?#idk anyway#my 2 cents#sorry for the long text posts guys#habe a lot of thoughts
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saw the first volume of Cursed Princess Club in the store last Sunday as I was walking by the manga section, and the name was so unusual that I looked it up online when I got home, and found out it was on webtoons to read for free, and just finished it, and holy shit
literally one of the best stories I've ever read
#I don't even know where to begin it's just insanely well-written but also so deeply emotional and wholesome and wonderful#also there's a lady with a were-spider curse tied to her menstrual cycle which gets discussed casually and like#I've never seen menstruation discussed by fictional characters in such a natural and no big deal way it was fucking awesome#but literally everything about every character was so very well-written and presented in such a good way#like I dunno curses as analogies for disabilities and how they don't lessen a person's worth#and how people are still people deserving of love and how difficult self-love and self-acceptance can be#but also how important it is but also how it still sucks to live w/ certain things#and how you can be both angry about something and accepting of it at the same time#but also about how superficial and socially/culturally constructed ideals of beauty and worthiness are and how they're totally fake#and potentially harmful and also how it's possible to work around and against and restructure those ideals#but also it's about princesses (and a couple princes) kicking ass and being cool and also just being human#also I gotta hand it to the author for having a lady who totally enjoys sleeping around and isn't shamed for it whatsoever#there's also a character who's basically aroace and despite two men falling in love with her like#as soon as they find out she's not interested in relationships they back off and respect that and still treat her as a friend#and I dunno that's just neat#like it's satirical fantasy that deconstructs so many different fairytale tropes but it's also so genuine and sincere#that it somehow circles back to embody the heart of a fairytale in all the best ways possible#anyhow it's absolutely worth a read#oracle of lore
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If Angel Pt. 2 was a lestappen song, who would be the angel?
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reason for judgement:
dude is a log (mind Out Of Gutter) in bed. therefore could not be the POV. q.e.d.
#xiao: asks#asks: mv1.cl16#i can see how people view sharl as the angel Always bc he deffo gives off angel Vibes#but i Genuinely think it would be max for reasons reasons reasons (beyond just the sleep but that Is Definitely A Part)#and max based off Very Superficious things could seem like the POV (not angel) but yh i dont f w/ that here actually!#also this was an inchresting ask so thanks nonsie <3#anon my beloved#esp loved the part where i got to stare at photos of happy max#lestappen
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sometimes i think abt towa and argentine in the very last manga chapter n cry
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#waaaa waaaa my lucifer my boy-king and the respect and power he doesn't even want but deserves sm#dark wouldnt want towa n argentine's help if he could go without it!! all his theft has been bc he cared#n its the fact he n dai care tht they genuinely deserve the sort of trust respect n acknowledgement from the niwa fam#that the rest of the world who doesnt properly or intimately know the likes of dark n dai doesnt afford them#i justttt wooooughhhh towa argentine gratefully graciously bowing themselves with fealty#to dark who's always been bearing all this insane burden and self-expectation alone#all by himself#afraid even of that solitude but nevertheless doing everything he could for the sake of#what he felt was right saving the artworks saving precious things even if he had to steal them away and disparage himself#more and more (the more he succeeds the more he disgraces himself as a villain and a criminal)#aaaa waaaa INNER NIWA FAM CHARAS r just so special.... THEY GET TO SEE IT ALL...#how heavy the pressure is on dark n dai both actually despite the superficial layers like elmroot says#the 'outer self' that enjoys being a phantom thief and then the inner that 'hunts his own kind'#how tired dark is sometimes...#well. w/e. point is niwa fam chara writers who ever take this into account ill kiss u forever#dark can be annoying or behave in spoiled/lazy/belligerent ways sometimes but it rlly makes him and dai more like the#rebel angel leader / boy king example i try to write them as. they still care ofc they doooo#it's just they're the equivalent of the highest seat holding together their little country#their miniature empire that dark n the niwa have built up over yrs n yrs n yrs!!#dark never claims himself a king or a prince he doesn't throw his weight or titles around like that#but between paradise lost and POTO's occasional angel of darkness/PRINCE of darkness#the vibes are there in between the lines. they r right there. this dude has so much hes taking responsibility for#even though he doesn't even Have To. but in doing so- he is. and SHOULD rightly be supported#in the manner of someone in service demonstrating loyalty to him#ok. ramble over
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#vent post vent post lalalala#i wanted to post some pictures from my weekend trip with my friends before its too late but then i saw my fucking face and now i wanna kms#like oh my god. oh my god this is really truly the face im stuck with forever and ever and ever till the day im fuckin rotting in the groun#incredible how unfair life can be lmao (<- girl who is having such incredibly superficial stupid fucking problems but is otherwise#quite privileged but of course that will never be fucking enough for her because she's soooooo fckn stupid and selfish and annoyinggg lol)#i dont know why im so obsessed with it now#like i genuinely remember KNOWING that im kinda ugly (and fat) in high school and being like 'so what lol idc'#so WHY is it such an issue now?????#idk. i just kinda wish i was dead every time i look at my face and realise there's nothing i can do to change it#i can dress in ways that will cover my ugly ass shapeless body. maybe i can even go back to my ed properly this time#and lose some weight. for a time. before i gain back twice as much and the circle begins anew lol#but my face is not gonna change no matter what i do lmao unless i fucking scrape it off with a grater or smash my head into pieces#and like. even if i do get that rhinoplasty (its not gonna change my faceshape anyway. nothing i can do to fix THAT fuckin atrocity)#every time ill look in the mirror i will only be reminded that its fake. and that my natural face was disgusting enough it had to be cut up#to be fixed somewhat.#i just wish i had ONE. just ONE nice thing about my body. literally just one its not even funny lol#and its so fucked up when you look at my mom who was so insanely fucking beautiful when she was my age. like. i cant blame her#cause how could she have known that the genes she'll pass on will not result in anything good lol but also i feel like such a failure#like its not really my fault i got the genes i got. but yknow.#anyway im tired of always being the ugliest person in any group im hanging out with. my cousins? check. my hometown friends? check.#my uni friends? my GOD check (how ARE they all so pretty and skinny??? insane).#god i wish i were dead. like fr fr. im not actively suicidal since i cant bring myself to *do* shit anyway. but i just wish i never existed
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i keep having embarrassingly deeper-than-they-should feelings about caboose that im not sure what to do about, with how i feel like i relate in a pretty genuine and sweet way to him in an autistic level and i do feel like reading him that way makes real sense but im just incapable of feeling very good about it when its very very clear caboose's neurodivergent esque behavior is applied exclusively to make the butt of the joke off how stupid he is. i care about him a lot as a character but i mostly just wanna rip him off r-slur-loving rooster teeth's hands and handle him with a minimum level of respect
#i dunno i feel about bad about it like if i even acknowledge my reading of him it comes off badly when once again hes the dumb one#going off topic onto a tangent i think i just yearn for a fictional representation of autism that isnt just easy and palatable#like there are lots and lots of autistic and autistic coded and autistic read/head cannoned characters out there#but it feels like its always just. nice character whos very nerdy about a subject or is kinda weird or awkward at times#its always just this ''high functional'' kind of autism where the proof theyre autistic are a few traits here and there#there just arent characters who stutter and mumble and get lost with words and sound weird and have weird voices#and say genuinely weird things in genuinely inappropriate times. who genuinely come off as weird or dumb or childish#who struggle with simple things or dont get concepts or instructions or things said at them#autism that isnt quirky or always fun or always endearing or easy to deal with or easy to dismiss#i cant think of a single character in media who i relate with in an autistic level in how my autism actually feels beyond the superficial#and i think thats why i get a genuine comfort in caboose of all things#in how unapologetically and undeniably weird and kinda dumb and kinda childish he comes off#and it isnt always nice and it annoys and troubles the people around him and of course himself beyond a way he can control#i get touched by the moments here and there when people actually treat him well#when tucker takes some time to gently explain to him that church isnt coming back.#and when hes given a sincerely emotional moment to say goodbye to church and well as that one episode of season 14#or generally when characters are nice to him or talk in ways he can understand better#i dunno i just really do like him#which i guess just backfires when it feels specially hurtful when hes called dumb and stupid and is hated and threatened#and condescend upon and treated as useless and incompetent and just a burden the others need to take care of#mannnnn i hate rooster teeth#🧃
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Controversial take. But based on my experiences, out of every fandom I’ve written for, the TLOU fandom is the absolute BEST about actually reblogging fics. 🤷🏻♀️
#˚ʚ meda rants ɞ˚#like the reblog epidemic is very real for every fandom i feel#but this is the one fandom i’ve found that is actually pretty good about promotion and creditation and whatnot#the stranger things fandom was the absolute worst#like my numbers were massive#but the actual engagement was just so deflating to see??#my paul dano era was the strangest though#because i’d have people tell me that they loved my work and that they’d reread it over and over again etc etc etc#but it very rarely showed in the reblogs??#the conversations around engagement and how it affects writers on here is so interesting to me#like maybe it sounds very superficial#but the engagement really does mean so much more to me than just the number of likes#i work so hard on my writing and like…#i want people to see that!!#i want people to ask me about my writing and show genuine interest outside of just clicking a single button#because writing means everything to me#i just wish more readers understood how fulfilling it is when they openly show their love for a fic#i promise you don’t look embarrassing or silly expressing how you feel about a fic#more than anything it’s just incredibly validating
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#got my hair done today#(curtain bangs layers and a darker shade of brown)#i think it looks good and fits my face well#however I’m feeling kinda bad about my looks lately#this didn’t really help lol#because it kinda feels like no matter how much effort I will put in my appearance#i find it hard to believe I will ever be genuinely content with how I look#and it’s depressing to think about#i wish i was prettier#saw a girl on tik tok the other day and she was saying similar things#she was also crying and I found it to be very heartbreaking because she was so cute#but I guess the same applies to me too#god makes no mistakes etc etc#it’s just hard to accept when it’s about me#you know what i’m saying#this is superficial but oh well#rant over#tbd later
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i have recently been finding it harder to communicate with my peers in social, professional, and online settings bc i genuinely think everyone is more curious and much smarter than i am lol
#🍎#i do not mean it in a self deprecating way but i genuinely am not a curious person#i don't get much satisfaction out of learning and it requires so much effort + patience that i just. don't do that.#and on top of that i also genuinely think most everyone is much smarter than me in many regards#i am not good at practical things like maths and sciences and even literature there r many people who like#idk “do it better” isn't the phrase but idk how to. phrase it!#which idk i don't feel very isolated but it makes everything feel very superficial lol#is it possible that i have something undiagnosed that's causing this??? hypothetically yes but I'd rather die than talk to a therapist
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