#but it feels like its always just. nice character whos very nerdy about a subject or is kinda weird or awkward at times

[electricpurrs]

i keep having embarrassingly deeper-than-they-should feelings about caboose that im not sure what to do about, with how i feel like i relate in a pretty genuine and sweet way to him in an autistic level and i do feel like reading him that way makes real sense but im just incapable of feeling very good about it when its very very clear caboose's neurodivergent esque behavior is applied exclusively to make the butt of the joke off how stupid he is. i care about him a lot as a character but i mostly just wanna rip him off r-slur-loving rooster teeth's hands and handle him with a minimum level of respect

[camiddletonxox]

A Sweet, Confused girl

Characters - Michael Middleton (ROD Dad) and Charity Middleton (ROD Mc)

Rating - General, this is a sweet dad and daughter fic that came to mind.

Note - Hey guys, I am camping from Saturday to next Friday so I may not be able to write as its family time and I will be working from September but I will try keep up with fic s as I have so many ideas written down for each of my pairings.

Taglist - @drakewalkerfantasy @ao719 @princess-geek @polishchoicesfan @binny1985 @adriansbiss @desireepow-1986 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @hatescapsicum @gardeningourmet @itscassandral @thequeenchoices @heauxplesslydevoted @kaavyaethanramsey @choicesolivia @regencylady1810 @waitingforalana @dailydoseofchoices @storyofmychoices @sushiharrington @sanchita012 @akshara16 @choicesficwriterscreations PLEASE MESSAGE ME OR COMMENT IF YOU WANT ADDING TO MY TAGLIST THANKS

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Prompt - August Challenge choices day 12 ‘advice’ @choicesmonthlychallenge

Summary - Charity is rather confused about her feelings towards a boy at school....

Word Count - 1222

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Charity always knew she could talk to her dad about anything, she always had known that. She was home for her first summer since she finished her first year at Langston and she had started to move on from the Colt saga. She had met a boy, who was well in most her classes, on the extra-curricular programme she was doing and he was a very interesting person. He was nerdy and he was one of those people she was sure her father would approve of. She sat at the kitchen table as Michael made them pancakes, maple syrup with bacon and a pot of coffee.

Michael had noticed his daughter had been so quiet and he was confused, she usually had so much to say. He decided if thy were going to have one of their sweet dad to daughter heart to heart when he was sat so she wasn’t talking to his back. He loved having his beautiful daughter at home and he treasured all the time he spent with her, she was all he had after his wife’s death. Whenever he thought of Clara’s death, he felt himself want to cry, whenever he saw his daughter missing her mother, he would feel so heartbroken.

“You sure you don't need help?” She asks her father and he shakes his head, he liked to cook for his daughter.

“No, you must be so jet-lagged, sorry you had to get a taxi last night, but we have a massive case we are trying to prosecute” Michael smiled to his daughter and she just smiled.

“I know, you don’t need to explain yourself to me dad, I know how busy your job is” she assured her father, as she puts her hair back up in its clip.

“I know sweetheart but I feel guilty, I hate you getting in taxi’s especially late at night” He sighs and he opens the cupboard getting her blue teddy bear mug out and grabbing his best dad ever mug the best one he had that his girl got him. He poured coffee into the mugs before putting cream in both coffees and sugar in his daughters. He passed her the mug, and he dished up the food. He wasn’t the biggest fan of pancakes but it made her happy.

“I was wondering, how is Meghan doing and the baby?” Charity asks. It was true Jason shaw gave her so many things to regret, he almost killed her but his sweet wife Meghan had been left to raise his child on her own and she had been a constant shoulder to cry on for Charity since she met her.

“She’s good, the baby is doing good, I popped into to chat to her and her parents are supporting her” Michael spoke, he always had a warm feeling in his heart when his daughter asked about Meghan, it was so good to know her daughter had Clara’s warm heart. He popped a plate infront of her and he look at her as she looked down at her phone, texting the boy Alex. Her father watched her facial expression and it was a smile, a genuine smile, the first genuine smile he had seen since she set off for Langston. “Who has you smiling like a idiot?” Michael chuckled to his daughter and she blushed furiously and put her phone on the table.

“Just a friend from Langston” She says and then she looks at him, should she really confide in her father about a boy matter? She cut a piece of bacon, dipping it in the sweetness that was the maple syrup before popping it in her mouth. Michael hadn’t took his gaze of his very confused looking daughter.

“A friend?” He asks and she nods and she cuts into a pancake before she stared at her dad, he had also started to eat, but it was clear he wasn’t going to let this subject go, especially with how confused Charity looked.

“His name is alex, he’s in my anatomy and physiology and my health studies classes, well pretty much most of my classes, and on the volunteering programme I am doing on days when I am not in class, and he’s a normal person” She explained, a flush coming onto her face and her father chuckled.

“He isn’t a criminal?” He jokes lightheartedly, a grin on his face to try assure her he was joking and she laughed and shook her head, things were much better between the father and daughter.

“I mean if flirting is a crime, then yes” she half-joked, putting a smile on her face, but it didn’t meet her eyes at all. Michael chewed his food as he watched her before sipping his coffee.

“Whats the matter, butterfly? You seem on edge” Her father raised an eyebrow.

“I like him so much dad, and I don’t mean just like... I mean I love hanging out with him, we study together. We chat and go to the little chicken shop outside the university together” her face had scrunched up now. She absent-mindedly twirled her fork.

“Then whats the problem?” Her father pushed, as he ate his own breakfast, the concerned but loving eyes she loved looked at her with pure love and fatherly affection.

“I don’t know if I want to be with a boy, I don’t know if I am strong enough dad” she spoke and her father leaned forward and stroked her face, his sweet girl he just wanted to hold her and reassure her.

“I think you are, I think you deserve a boy to love you for the wonderful sweet young woman you are, butterfly” He speaks softly and she looked at him, “Does he like you?” He gently ran his thumb across her cheek the way he had done so many times as she grew up.

“He wants me to be his girlfriend, but what if... you know.... I can’t love him?” She asks, he hated the thought she still loved Teppei Kaneko’s son but it was understandable, she was still so young.

“My advice, sweetheart is to move on... to be happy and to not let the past haunt you as much as it clearly is, you have so much love to give and this boy sounds nice... you deserve a person who makes you feel happy and feel like you can be yourself around them, you deserve to find a best friend like what I had with Mum” he whispers. “And if it doesn’t work out thats ok. Not everything is meant to be” He spoke softly.

“I know you’re right dad, I just don’t want to be hurt” she admitted and he was sure he felt his heart break, he never wanted his daughter to get hurt or be used again by anyone.

“I know, sweetheart, but there is no guarantee you will be hurt, and if you are, well I will be here to help you through it” He squeezed her hand and she smiled, squeezing her fathers hand.

“I will think about how I feel then talk to him” she decided and Michael nodded dn the rest of their breakfast, was filled with chats about her mum and other random things like that. It was nice and it was perfect. Perfect dad and daughter time.

[lestvt]

wasn’t tagged or anything, i just felt like doing one of these lol

rules: tag people you wanna get to know better!

your name and then what you would have named yourself: j.j.; what those j’s stand for is none of your concern. if i was going to name myself it would be something sick, like godkiller or edward  

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know): im a pisces and i do not believe in this shit at all because its literally never right about me

when did you join tumblr and why?: 2010-11ish, i was like 15 so no further explanation needed

top 5 fandoms: the vampire chronicles, hannibal (really the only two im active in currently), harry potter, tolkien, stranger things, etc.   

top 5 favorite films: alien (1979), aliens (1986), silence of the lambs (1991),  interview with the vampire (1994), and the descent (2005) ((this list was honestly so hard to narrow down lol))  

go to song when you want to Feel something: this changes a lot, but right now it’s seven wonders by fleetwood mac or alt. i wanna get better by bleachers 

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: im agnostic and my faith is in the fact that i will always despise organized religion lmaooo 

a song that makes you feel seen: gold rush by death cab for cutie or fast talk by houses

if you could have any career: archaeologist, AKA that thing im majoring in lol also a writer but im already that (unpaid) 

do you have a type: yeah, smart people who care about their future 

what does your heart/soul yearn for: to be left the fuck alone so i can write/make art in peace, but also to study dead people  

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: overbearing, passionate, nerdy, loud, outre 

favorite subject in school: history and lit. 

where does your soul feel most at home: walking along a large body of water at night by myself 

top 5 fictional characters: this is also extremely hard lol... lestat de lioncourt (the vampire chronicles), louis de pointe du lac (the vampire chronicles), brian kinney (queer as folk), haruhara haruko (flcl), hannibal lecter    

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: the ending of the anime code geass, the ending of season 2 of hannibal, and ...........idk i dont cry at TV very often unless its queer eye or a show about dog rehabilitation   

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars, so unattainable-y beautiful and shrouded in mystery 

favorite kind of weather: summer thunderstorms (as long as im not working)

top 3 characters you kin with: louis de pointe du lac (oof), will graham (harder oof), bulma from DBZ (nice!) 

favorite medium of art: does writing count? unless you mean visual, in which case i prefer pencil or digital 

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: im an introvert with extroverted tendencies when im in a manic mood 

a favorite literary quote: im literally not about to go looking for quotes, its not like i have a pocket book of them on hand or something wtf 

some of your favorite books: interview with the vampire (my favorite book of all time), the vampire lestat, the harry potter series, macbeth, and nonfiction, but honestly i mostly read fanfiction and comics/manga these days

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: somewhere secluded but within driving distance of a big city, possibly near the ocean and/or mountains 

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: the present, because im mentally ill and also queer and id prefer not to be killed and/or institutionalized lmaooo... but purely for the aesthetics? the victorian era

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: i play piano, clarinet, and bari saxophone (and a lil guitar), but if i could actually be good at any of those that would be cool lol. otherwise... violin (i used to play it but stopped at age 14ish) 

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to?: artemis and/or anubis  

oh my god this is so long but LASTLY, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: me in my casual will graham cosplay for halloween this year: [REDACTED]

tagging: @murdoc , @wicked-felina , @i-want-my-iwtv , @hidethesilverwaresblog , @chietozier , @lucaroyale , @freshsunberries

idk if any of y'all do this kind of thing, but just in case... ;)

feel free to omit the selfie one if it makes you uncomfortable

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[flying-elliska]

What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao.  If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

-  When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes.  However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh. 

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute. 

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

 And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too. 

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope.  But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth. 

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome. 

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride. 

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis. 

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it. 

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever. 

[requiemofamemory]

The Intruder - Part 1

It's been 20 minutes since Anaïs posted what she hoped was her last entry on the Vertigo blog. After months, nearly a year of research on this subject the media finally took notice of her work, they used theories and photographies on the local news! Unfortunately, due to the secretive nature of her methods, I would be almost impossible to take credit for those, no one knew who was the writer behind the vertigo blog and she'd rather keep it that way. .or worse.

The BPRD theory was one of the most scandalous subjects in NY, it was thanks to Anaïs effort today we have nearly "decent" pictures of the notorious "hellboy", being of legend, who was clearly linked to very odd events and apparitions of the supernatural in some neighborhoods. Even some files from the PD confirmed it's existence, they could not be used as proper proof due to the well, illegal ways of what she used to get them.

It was 11:12 AM in NY, Chelsea, and Anaïs was rechecking her bag, making sure everything she needed was in there. The preparation for this operation was meticulously planned, alongside her partner in crime and best friend, Bud, all the arrangements were made, the calculation of success and the blueprints of the area which our redhead as about to infiltrate.

"Do you know that we are about to commit a very serious crime punishable by either death or exile to a country so far away does not know it exists in the first place, right?" Bud replied to Anaïs left earpiece as she adjusted her clothing. "I'm about to get in, Bud. You'll be my guide and guardian angel as I get in there and honestly, at this point, you should know that I do not care for those specific consequences." She chuckled, there was a bubbly feeling inside of the girl's stomach, excitement and a bit of anxiousness on a Friday afternoon simply made her day.

"I am your accomplice in this! Whatever happens to you might happen to me as well!"

The redhead adjusted her hair by the bathroom mirror, her bag was crossed around her torso and "geek university girl" disguise was almost ready. "You hack people for a living, what the hell are you talking about? And I'm the criminal one?"

"A white shirt, brown sweater, purple skirt and old shoes will not make you magically invisible to them." "This is different.

"Do not forget the glasses. And it's not purple, it's wine. Also, wigs make my head itch." Her lips curled into a smirk as she gives her looks to swirl. "I look like a nerdy activist student who lives with her grandma on a purely white and old neighborhood.

Rebecca Kelley was her name today, at least it was her fake ID. A junior supervisor of the EPA, she is also the secretary of the ministry of the environment. They will get tired of the bureaucracy of the process eventually and let her pass.

She shut all the windows, pulled the curtains, and let it all nice and tidy before leaving. "So, we ready."

Bud let out a sight "Let's get over with this. Quick, precise and no casualties."

"You're the boss." 

--------------------------------

It's 12:02 PM now, Anaïs stands in front of the Clean Waste Management Plant building back, the entry for the big truck and eventually the underground garage. Stopped by four guards, Anaïs was cordially asked to present her business.

"Sorry miss, only authorized personnel. Civilians on the other -..."

With her sweetest smile and shy girl attitude, Anaïs cut the man's words short. "Oh, right. My aunt asked me to head to the back ..." With that being said the girl reached for her leather bag and taking out her ID, along a letter from the secretary Mary Kelley, one of Bud's finest tricks The man rose to brow and took the documents in hands, his green eyes scanned the girl's features from top to bottom, taking notice of her EPA button on her sweater.

"Supervisor Kelley? We did not know we'd get any visits today. Is that just you?"

Anaïs nodded her head, "I was assigned yesterday, I'm afraid. My aunt and I are very close, I just got out of college and I'm begged for a job, you see? She did mention the environment was ... how did she say? "Uncommon", but I should have no problem with it. We got some complaints about the health of your crew, very much related to the excess of carbon monoxide emission." Her hands were tangled together in a feminine manner, polite and naive. "I could get her on the phone if you want." She continued with her pink phone in hands.

"No need. Follow me." The man was clearly bored in mid-conversation with her. It might seem a bit too much but every aspect of this situation was put into consideration, Anaïs chose to perform her first attempt at lunchtime, security guards are mostly bored due to the monotonous nature of his job, stand there all day doing nothing, he's eager to swift shifts to finally escape his post and fill his belly. Bingo.

As they passed Anaïs insisted on the previous subject, expanding her "made up character" to the guard, make him believe her intentions. "So, did you notice a persistent couch. If not on you perhaps on your colleagues?” The man looked at her with a perplex expression, clearly pondering upon her words. “Now that you mentioned I did saw Billy cough the other day. Even Charles...”

The passing from autumn to winter always caught people with allergies, it that time of the year when people catch the “cold” due to the transaction period between seasons. Another point. “Well...that’s how it starts. Carbon monoxide can be a tricky thing, it kills people from the inside out. Slowly, but incredibly deadly and once it’s cronic...there’s no coming back.”

The guard’s eye widens, averting his as he rubbed his throat.

The entered what appeared to be an industrial shed, with some pieces of equipment, some SUVs and trash trucks. The girl's eyes scanned the details of her surroundings, the floor had a discreet crack, it was clear there was an underground passage for more vehicles beneath, an elevator on the other side of the shed and four more people inside who didn’t take notice of her. It smelled of concrete, a bit of gasoline and a bit colder than expected.The guard stopped next to a black SUV. “So?”

“Oh, right...let me grab my-...” Her small hands reached for a pen and a clipboard which she grabbed in such a sloppy manner she let it fall to the floor, two feet away from them. “Oh damn, I’m sorry.” “No, it’s fine.” The guard replied, reaching down to get the clipboard for her. The perfect opportunity for her to grab the access card from his waist and unhook it from its chain. The process was quick, thankfully everyone was doing something else. That move was a piece of pure luck.

“Thank you.” Anaïs said. “Would you mind turning on this one?” She replied, pointing at the SVU. “I need to check the motor real quick.”

“Sure.”The man nodded, picking the SVU keys by a near table and opening the car. Now a few eyes were directed to them, which made fake Rebecca slightly nervous. Her hands sweating as she positioned herself to the front of the car and opened the hood of the car. Whence the guard turned it on she pretended to analyze its engines, taking the liberty to “touch a few things”. “Alright!” She shouted to the guard. “Test the power please.”

The man did, and all of a sudden a gush of black goo splashed her skirt and part of her sweater. The redhead took a step back with a wimp, the guard automatically turned off the car and rushed to help her.

“Damn! You’re okay?” He looked down at her, clearly worried. “Oh,yeah...I’m fine.” Anaïs pretended to be very upset, even a bit disgusted. “Can I...uhm, get to a bathroom?”

The guard nodded, directing her to the bathroom a bit further inside the facility. Once alone Anaïs smiled to herself in the mirror. “I’m in.” 

------------------------

[PART 2]

[yourladyocs]

character solidifying for Percy !!

Sure!

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Since she does’t have a father, I’m going to use this question to talk about one of her adoptive mothers. She hates that she can’t see Midnight every day, but enjoys every single moment she can spend with her. She loves that Midnight shows her new things and listens to her talk. Literally, Midnight was the person who gave Percy magic and without it she would have been a completely different character. Midnight was also part of the influence for a new name for Percy.  

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

She loves Marcia with all her heart and thinks highly of her. Marcia always encourages her to experiment and explore with magic and is always there to help. There is not much she hates about Marcia, because Marcia is just nice to her (not to say she isn’t strict some times). She loves how Marcia is always there to give her advice and offer collaborative work when doing experiments. She looks up to Marcia’s way of leading the tower and the extreme advancements she makes in magical theory. Without Marcia, I don’t think Percy would have been so willing to experiment on many things. I also don’t think she would have been so open about magic with people if it wasn’t for Marcia and those in the wizard tower. 

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

Valdís is her adoptive sibling. Frankly, Wren (kinda), and X17, are all family to her, but she wouldn’t classify them as siblings. She would consider Frankly her cousin. X17 would be her uncle. Wren is her best friend and sister that she wouldn’t want to lose in a thousand years. Percy loves all of them because they are all uniquely different with one trait in common (that they love her). She doesn’t truly despise things in them, like she can get annoyed at them but she could never despise anything they do. For instance, Val sleeps longer than she does. She doesn’t despise it, but it sometimes scares her (she misses them and gets worried). 

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

In the middle? Both of them have rules to follow and Percy does follow them. She never had an issue with going to time outs and things like that. 

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

Not really. She lived in a Wizard Tower where she learned a ton, then she went out in the world to hang out with her friends where she learned a ton.

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Affection! Only the strongest affection. 

7. What was the economic status of their family?

Uhhhh, I would say pretty good. Percy is independent, so the economic status is solely her own.  

8. How does your character feel about religion?

People can believe it. It has to some merit since she has met a god. 

9. What about political beliefs?

Percy has read a lot of history, so most of its formed from those books. However, I don’t think she has gained enough information on the modern political structure of the world. 

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

Book-smart. 

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

Intelligent. 

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

Everything she says is very refined. Honestly that is the hardest part of her to play around with; it takes me forever to think of the way she would say things. She has a certain way of saying everything that is ladylike but is super intelligent.

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

YES. Percy loves school and her teachers and her schoolmates. 

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

I mean they did group projects and experiments, but I don’t think she joined any after school clubs. She did hang out with the kids in the tower, but like sports are not her thing. 

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

She is studying abroad right now. 

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

The Wizard Tower is her living and is her education. Its like a work/study program, however she gets paid for developing new magical theory. She loves her work, there is literally nothing she doesn’t like about it. 

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

Right now! She is traveling on the Alpenglow’s maiden voyage. 

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

Currently, she has found new perspectives and a new realm of magic to play with. And I think the memories part is to come. 

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

That sometimes social conventions are not easily broken (at least they don’t break enough to allow curiosity). 

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

The Alpenglow’s maiden voyage will mark the beginning of air travel in the world. It has cultures from every nation on it and she gets to learn about all these different things from that. It is an international event and will probably go down in history. 

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

Percy is very blunt. She has manners, but she feels like that flattery is reserved for someone you truly hate or distrust. Her type of hero is the hero who is not afraid to explore the darkness in everything, but in the end makes the right decision. She also loves the nerdy types (like Sailor Mercury). They hate people who are super set in stone; like people who don’t want to explore anything. 

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Everyone in the tower (and those previously listed above under siblings) are all extended family to her. She loves them all and wouldn’t want to have another family or friend group. She doesn’t have lovers. Her ideal type would be someone who is willing to explore different things with her. However Percy has different types of taste. Percy is attracted to attractive people, however she would like to learn more before committing. Percy is also a person who, as a strategy, would date the person she was sent to ‘mark’. Percy also would date people she is extremely curious about, making it easier to learn everything about them. 

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Percy wants loyalty and openness from a party. She wants to be able to always have an open and honest conversation with them. Percy is hard to describe when it comes to sex. She has the urges for it, yet stays away from it because of her anxiety. Percy is preprogrammed to be a spouse (in her past life), and she is afraid that her programming will resurrect if she becomes intimate with someone. Percy wants to fall in love with a person for who they are, not her programming.  

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

She usually attends social outings/lunch dates with Wren. She always spends time experimenting on magical properties with Marcia. She usually plays the follower when she out in a social setting, however when it comes to experimenting then she is the lead. I personally think Percy takes the lead a lot more and she loves that position. 

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Experimentation with magical theory. 

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Percy’s room is comfortable. It is mostly covered in neatly organized books, with a comfy bed or chair. She likes having pink accents to her relaxation furniture, not so much the bookcases. Percy wears formal-ish clothes, but mostly just the style of the time. She has a pink blouse in order to show her old self and show off her favorite color. She has dark brown borderline black hair. She keeps herself neat and neatly polished.  

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

Her appearance is who she is, in her mind. She wears her clothing neatly and I imagine she gets something of normal quality? Its not high quality stuff because it is common clothes but... it is not cheap. 

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

She has none! 

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Curiosity. She can’t resist it. 

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

Yes. Currently it is the thought of her having a son that she never met out there. She will not forgive her creator for separating them, unless her son is truly happy where he is. 

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

She does and she just found out about it. Percy was preprogrammed to be a motherly figure to her specific child. She wants to find the child, make sure he grew up happy, then leave. She doesn’t want to get involved in the kid’s life if the kid is happy in his new life. If the kid is not happy, she wants to be there for him and offer him a home. 

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

She gets a little panicky but overall I think she would be evasive. She has the ability to lie and lie very good. 

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

She does not! Her health is good. 

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

I mean she feels like Alice in Wonderland. It just seems she likes to explore. Like sure she wants her son back, but I wouldn’t say she wants revenge against her creator. And she won’t brew on it too much because its not her life anymore; she is completely out. 

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Failures are just new ways to explore that we haven’t learned yet. They aren’t necessarily failures, they are just new paths of experimentation. 

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

Absolutely not. 

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Her imagination is tied to the rational thought of experimentation. She doesn’t daydream more like she thinks of concepts and plans for further experimentation. She isn’t worried about really anything. She doesn’t want to live in her old memories, but she will live in her current present and future. 

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

New things means new information which means new experimentation!! She gets super excited!! 

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

Ignorance. 

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

She has one, though I think her taste is slowly expanding because of JJ. 

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

She is acutely aware of who she is. Her greatest strength is her curiosity and her ability to adapt to new things. She however is weak when it comes to social situations and meeting new people. She speaks rather bluntly (which could be both a strength and a weakness) but has the ability to be rather charismatic. She just doesn’t use her charm because she feels the need to not be fake in front of these people. 

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Experimentation on different forms of magic. Currently, this obsession has transferred to experimentation on Guardian. She wants to know the magic used to bind souls and completely understand that process. She not willing to kill in order to obtain something. She has limits on what she is willing to sacrifice for her curiosity. 

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

Yes. Yes. 

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

Pretty badly, however it is not all consuming. She knows when to let go of certain goals in order to be happy. 

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

It varies. I like her to think first, however I’m an impulsive player. Her character in both speech and action is rather hard for me to play. She would think first, however she follows impulses regarding subjects that intrigue her. She is extremely passionate about things she likes. 

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

SUPER TALL (she is 6′ 2″ without her heel boots). She is made of metal so she is heavy, however her body makes her look like normal weight for her body type. She loves her body and there is nothing she would change about it. 

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

I feel like people think she is younger because of her insane curiosity and wonder, however she is 38. She doesn’t care if people see her or not; she can go invisible at any point so like it doesn’t matter. 

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

Unlike me, I think she has more control over her motions. I feel like she isn’t as expressive in her hands as I am. 

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

Percy doesn’t have an accent. I believe she is in the alto range, and I believe there is no hint of metallic sound (after all she was a mimic of a human). I never really thought of the tempo, but she speaks rather normal I guess. 

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

:) Smiles are important. She is super expressive and for some robots that’s extremely impressive. 

[hallelujuh]

shay’s favorite tv shows from 2017

this has been in my drafts for.... nine months.... fuck.

Written in December 2017, updates are from September 2018.

Considering how many new, innovative shows are around these days, I didn’t get too adventurous this year, but I’m satisfied with the ones I did watch. I discovered new shows, I was impressed by the shows I’ve been following for years, and I learned to appreciate the work that goes into television more. Here’s my top ten TV shows..

10. Thirteen Reasons Why - In all honestly, this is only here because I haven’t been able to watch Peaky Blinders yet, and it’s probably too late. (UPDATE: Watched it in Jan and it was amazing.) This show received a lot of backlash, and for good reason, although it had its moments. The characters were well-written, the relationships were given depth that is often lacking in other high school-set narratives, and the tone was great. I’ve always loved watching things that make me profoundly sad, and this show did just that. (UPDATE: Season 2 was fucking garbage lmao.)

Standout episode: Tape 1, Side B. It’s a cripplingly depressing show, but this episode stood out as a moment of light in Hannah’s dark reality. Her friendship with Jessica and Alex was nice in the beginning - their banter, them having a spot in the coffee shop. I remember assuming Alex was gay (I believe his actor is, so I wasn’t too off) and thinking that’d be good for Hannah, to have a guy friend who wasn’t interested in her and wouldn’t add relationship drama to her life. Boy, was I wrong. Still, having seen the show at the beginning of the year, this episode is the only one I remember as enjoying, so it gets this spot.

9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - I read the books in elementary school, and they’re one of my favorite series of all time. I’m also a huge fan of the film, though I know most aren’t. So I was very excited for this series, and it didn’t completely disappoint. While I found myself longing for the actors from the 2004 motion picture, and some of the directing decisions weren’t choice, it was cool to see The Miserable Mill finally come to life, and I loved the Baudelaires just as much here as anyone else. I’ll be tuning in to next season, since I’ve very, very excited to see how they handle the next three books. I can’t wait to meet the Quagmire triplets, and Esme, and Jacques! It’ll be awesome. I hope they portray it well, but there’s no film to compare it to from here on out, so maybe it’ll be different.

Standout episode: The Reptile Room: Part One/Two. Like I said, I wasn’t a huge fan of how most of the characters were portrayed in this adaption, but I did love Uncle Monty. He was just as wonderful as he was in the film and books. Watching his interactions with the kids was really nice, and as always, made me wish they could’ve remained with him. Stephano wasn’t as menacing here as he is in the film (that knife scene is the point in the film where you go, “woah, this dude’s for real. he’s scary”), which was a bummer because I still thought Olaf was a laughably bad and incompetent villain by the finale, but I did like Poe’s hysteria, and I really loved the movie theatre scene.

8. Riverdale - Oops I never wrote this dfdsbfjdbfjds.

7. South Park - While we all can agree the last season was a mess, and this one was only a slight improvement, it did have it’s moments. I’ve been a fan for five years now, so at this point, they’ll never disappoint me, tbfh. 

Standout episode: Doubling Down. While Put it Down was wonderful, both satirically and because of Craig and Tweek’s adorable relationship, the eighth episode of the season was my personal favorite (UPDATE: Not sure why ‘cause I didn’t specify then and I’m not sure now.)

6. Dear White People - I didn’t do this one either damn. 

Standout Episode: Chapter V. While the show is a comedic take on racial relations, this episode is an emotional, serious change. The Barry Jenkins-directed episode shows us that the subject is no laughing matter, and it very clearly deserves this spot.

5. Rick and Morty - Yet another show I discovered this year, during the summer. I’d been meaning to watch it for ages, and I finally got around to it. While the fanbase is pretty much poison, the show is pretty damn good. Maybe not what it’s hyped up to be, but great none-the-less. I’m a big fan of adult cartoons, and RaM isn’t entirely satirical like South Park, and it’s not self-aware like BoJack, but it holds up. It’s probably so popular because of how unique it is.

Standout episode: The Ricklantis Mixup. While my personal favorite of Season 3 was The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, because I adore Jerry, I think we can all agree that the was the best episode of the season, if not the series. Like, really. Holy shit.

4. Gotham - I began watching this show last year, and caught up to season three around halfway through it. It began to drag a bit, admittedly, like it couldn’t carry it’s own weight - but now the show’s on season four, and it gets a little wild sometimes, but it’s holding quite a bit better, I’d say. I was pretty fucking impressed, especially with the Nygmobblepot stuff.

Standout episode: A Dark Knight: Queen Takes Knight. Although Mad City: The Gentle Art of Making Enemies from Season 3 is a close runner-up, for all the loose ends it ties up, and so cleanly, too - the winter finale gets this spot. It had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat (since I was actually curled up in bed) the entire time. While Sophia’s character and her motivations had remained muddy since her introduction, her badassery finally came to the forefront, and it was awesome. The way she tore down Penguin from his throne? Incredible. We know he’ll return, as he has so many times, but really, that was so incredible. Considering he’s my favorite character, I should feel worse. However, Sophia executed her plan so well, I was too awed to hate her. Also, Jerome’s back! I’m extremely excited to see Jerome’s role in the upcoming episodes. (Update: Oh, honey, you got a big storm coming...)

3. BoJack Horseman - I binged the hell out of this show just before season four came out, because it was so creative and thought-provoking and hilariously depressing. The fourth season was notably wonderful in a lot of ways, particularly because of Todd’s sexuality arc (the first out asexual character in a TV show!) and how well it was handled, but also because of the mature themes they took on. Princess Carolyn’s miscarriages, Diane and Mr. PB’s failing marriage, BoJack’s struggle to forgive his mother, Beatrice’s own troubled upbringing, Hollyhock’s eating disorder. I watched the whole season in three days when it was first released, four months ago, and I’m currently considering re-watching it after rereading the summaries of each episode to refresh my memory. I’d forgotten how phenomenal it was. It’s on another level - it really is.

Standout episode: Time’s Arrow. Though there wasn’t a single weak episode this season, this one definitely stood out. Following the tradition of uniquely depressing eleventh episodes, Time’s Arrow focuses on BoJack’s mother and how her turbulent childhood affected her. Gorgeously executed, it makes us pity the woman who made our favorite alcoholic horse the way he is, and it concludes with BoJack making peace with his mother, who he had spent so long resenting. It’s just a gorgeous episode. I think I’m going to rewatch it right now, haha.

2. Mr. Robot - I’ve wanted to watch this show since it came out, but I finally began and finished the first two seasons just weeks before Season 3 came out. Since I’m discussing my favorites of 2017, I won’t be talking about those first two seasons here. I’ll be focusing on Season 3, which has been, in my opinion, incredible. What began as a modern, nerdy take on Fight Club has become so much more; a masterfully dark and suspenseful fictionalized look at the looming political state of our world. We’ve gotten new characters (Irving, who’s a gem), we’ve learned more about older but mysterious characters (poor repressed Dom), we’ve had to say goodbye to old characters (I’m still mad about ******), and best of all, this season has been Tyrell heavy, and we even got to see Elliot make peace with Mr. Robot.

Standout episode: S3/EP8, eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko - The previous episode had already established a gorgeously melancholy setting through the use of Mac Quayle's gorgeous production 2.0_6-madame3xecutioner.oga, which, as a huge fan of film scores, I instantly fell in love with. The song is featured during a scene I watched several times - the scene when Angela repeatedly rewinds the explosion, unable to cope with the reality of it. It left me feeling similar to the way I had after watching American Beauty for the first time - like the world was a different shade. I thought this would be the only moment the show could invoke that response from me, but then the next episode came out. Unlike Ep. 7, Ep. 8 didn’t have a single moment. The whole episode brimmed with pain and sadness. The show’s already sad, but the lonely, isolated feeling is often overwhelmed by the suspense, drama, and excitement. This episode let the characters hurt without interruption, and it was wonderfully emotional.

1. The Get Down - I was so thrilled when I discovered this show in April, literally a few days after Part 2 had aired. I downloaded all the episodes for a road trip, and literally could not put it down the entire tme. It blended all my favorite things - the art of rap, the origin and evolution of hip hop, how battle rapping/deejaying came to be. The music was stellar, the cinematography was breathtaking, the acting was (for the most part) wonderful, and the cast was fantastic. I’ve seen some criticizing it, because of its occasionally choppy narrative and the fact that Baz Luhrmann added his usual whimsical take on something that was historically fairly dark, but I thought it was flawless. It was definitely groundbreaking in its amount of representation, and it was fun and colorful and emotional and, overall, just absolutely wonderful. Like many others, I was pretty devastated when they cancelled it. I understand why, but I wish it could get the Sense 8 treatment and receive a movie. There’s too many loose ends - it’s a real bummer. Still, I’m grateful we were blessed with this gem of a show at all.

Standout episode: S1/EP11, Only from Exile Can We Come Home - The final episode gets this spot for a single scene; the one where it alternates between Mylene singing “I’m my #1″ in the hotel room with Jackie and all the drag queens, and the scene where an unreleased Miguel song is playing while Dizzy & Thor paint on each other, and then Shao calls Dizzy his “alien brother.” That scene was easily one of my favorites I’ve ever seen in any show, in my entire life. If that episode was a film, that scene alone would guarantee it a spot on my favorite films list. It was that good.

[seasonsandcenturies]

for the character ask meme: Pidge (if you haven't done her already) and/or Haggar

These are two characters I didn’t entirely expect to be asked about but here we go, anon!

Haggar

favorite thing about them: how SURPRISINGLY NUANCED she is as a villain?? she’s so loyal to Zarkon but she’s also kind of a wild card, because she doesn’t spend her time monologuing about what her plans are and it’s not clear just how much of her current actions are driven by remembering her past. she clearly doesn’t think the Galra need Voltron and is much more interested in using quintessence and genetic modification to make their empire last, but she’s also surprisingly invested in politics/maintaining the empire’s status quo, going out of her way to keep their crown prince alive despite not really getting along. she’s not a typical bad guy. it’s hard to say what really motivates her. is she self-serving? is she really just a mad scientist?  WHO KNOWS.

least favorite thing about them: specifically as Haggar, the basically immortal witch with rift-induced magic powers, and not as Honerva the potentially-redeemable genius alchemist? her cruelty. Haggar is not nice. it doesn’t seem possible for her arc to end in anything but a tragic death, because even if she regains her memories she can’t possibly atone for 10,000 years of torturing subjects in her experiments.

favorite line: to Shiro, “I made you strong and this is how you repay me? You could have been our greatest weapon.” expecting thanks for torture like it was a good thing?! yo this lady is super dangerous!! to me this was one of the first times Haggar really stood out as more than just Zarkon’s lackey but as a villain in her own right, because what she did to Shiro had nothing to do with Zarkon’s goals for the universe.

brOTP: I really want to see Haggar and the space!dangerous ladies/generals go on a zany adventure. at this point, I think they could all use a break.

OTP: while the obvious answer is Haggar/Zarkon, it’s also really weird because it’s heavily implied he never forgot anything the way she did… and he’s not very nice. so that’s problematic.

nOTP: everything. Haggar mostly seems to be heartless. how to ship this???

random headcanon: she made the druids. they are not bodies. or aliens. they are like suits, filled with a rift creature or something. that’s why they’re e x t r a  creepy.

unpopular opinion: I can’t even think of any popular opinions about Haggar.

song i associate with them: had to think about this for a bit but for its perf description of instability I’m gonna say MK Ultra by MuseHow much deception can you take/How many lies will you create/How much longer until you break/Your mind’s about to fall//And they’re breaking through

favorite picture of them: that Altean reveal tho!

Pidge

favorite thing about them: she’s incredibly relatable!! intelligent, nerdy, likes terrible puns, can dress up and look nice or chill and be comfortable, a little socially awkward, super passionate about hobbies/interests, very much into science/tech – this probably describes 90% of the people I went to school with, because I went to nerd school, and it’s SUPER EXCITING to see that kind of character be a hero! nerds are always side characters, they don’t get to be main characters until they seem “normal”. (example: haruhi in ouran host club, despite literally not caring how she looks, doesn’t get to be the heroine until getting a makeover.) Pidge doesn’t have that! she’s cool just the way she is.

least favorite thing about them: her lack of empathy/morally grey streak. it’s frustrating that literally no one calls her out on this, because at the rate she’s going Pidge is just as likely to grow into someone like Honerva, and the only thing keeping her from that are her friends acting as her moral compass.

favorite line: either “I’ve always been a tech junkie. That’s how I connected with the world. But, for the first time, I feel connected to everything.” orrrrr “STICK AROUND >:D”

brOTP: TEAM PUNK. I love how Hunk went from being the guy who rummages through her stuff to the guy who can finish her sentences because they are on the wavelength, except I’m pretty sure Hunk thinks she’s way nerdier than he could ever be. so far a lot of their relationship seems to be her bossing him around, I’d love to see a few scenes where Hunk just flat-out tells her not to do something and she has to listen because he’s actually…. not wrong??…

OTP: Pidge/Lance. I’m 100% on board with the Pidge-has-a-crush theory. also the VLD-drops-topics-that-are-important-immediately-before-they-come-up theory. (seasons 1 and 2, she mentions him by name the most. her vlog is almost all memories involving him, despite talking about her new friends. you’d think it’d be about how much she does with Hunk or something but nope!! she then almost ignores him for the next few seasons. and even when Lance is wayyyyy over the top with Allura (e.g. growling at Matt??), she barely reacts. doesn’t tease him, doesn’t snark, just doesn’t do anything.) and that quote from Lauren M. about how Lance needs someone who knows herself? that sure sounds like Pidge, who’s the only girl in the show who’s confident about who she is. Lance is the kind of person who can pull Pidge out of her shell, and make her slow down and explain her ideas so everyone can understand. I think there’s a lot of potential there.

nOTP: hmm, gonna go with Allura/Pidge?? it’s not very common, but also not my jam. Shiro/Pidge is a pretty common nOTP but aged up I could see it. (also: I can’t say I ship Pidge with anyone with the idea that that equates to immediately sleeping together? this is one of the weirder assumptions about shipping imo.)

random headcanon: Pidge’s balance and strength come from years of rhythmic gymnastics. she choreographed her own fight  sequences for the voltron show based on her old ribbon routines, but that’s a secret she’ll take to the grave. (Matt was the martial arts guy in their house, when he was little he demanded ninja lessons. he showed her a few moves. Katie taught him how to do a cartwheel.)

unpopular opinion: while I can understand why people see Pidge as trans/genderfluid etc., and that’s cool, I think she’s really just a tomboy. imo there’s no reason to think that she dislikes being feminine/going by Katie; her friends all know her as Pidge, they haven’t been in space long enough for her hair to grow back and they’ve had no reason to change out of their clothes, and her dad deciding to call her Pidge instead of Katie seemed more like showing support for being a Paladin. I mean, this is a character who spent her time listening to alien signals doodling ladybugs and princesses right along with a giant robot with a flaming sword, who nearly cries when she has to cut her hair, whose bedrooms have both been just as stereotypically ‘girly’ (pictures taped up, string lights, cute animal slippers, mermaids??) as geeky. sure, the only time she’s been seen in a dress was for a special occasion, but even her choice of casual clothing was much more feminine. she doesn’t seem to care if she’s mistaken for a boy so it clearly isn’t important to her to obviously be a girl, but it also seems like she really only cares what her friends/family think about her…… (and tbh I think modeling her hacking face on Ed’s from Cowboy Bebop is another nod to Pidge being a non-stereotypical girl – like Pidge, Ed is a young hacker of indeterminate gender who confides primarily in the other more intelligent non-verbal member of the ship (Ein the genius dog, instead of Rover the robot), and her crew is shocked by the reveal that she’s actually female. Ed doesn’t much care either way.)

song i associate with them: I’d like to suggest Science Fiction by Christine and The Queens. techno beat, space-themed, a little bittersweet, some random italian; it’s the kind of song you put on when you’re pulling a late night on a coding project. Scattered stars/You never come back from/Space with no memory//One day I’ll leave/For nine planets, as many lives

favorite picture of them: (shhhh it’s a gif but that’s okay)

[asexualbookbird]

READY PLAYER ONE BY ERNEST CLINE  ★½ ☆☆☆☆

In the year 2044, reality is an ugly place. The only time teenage Wade Watts really feels alive is when he’s jacked into the virtual utopia known as the  OASIS. Wade’s devoted his life to studying the puzzles hidden within this world’s digital confines, puzzles that are based on their creator’s obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them. When Wade stumbles upon the first clue, he finds himself beset by players willing to kill to take this ultimate prize. The race is on, and if Wade’s going to survive, he’ll have to win—and confront the real world he’s always been so desperate to escape.

Where do I even begin with this trainwreck? Look, I get it. I see why this was such a hit, especially with a certain audience. It hits the Nostalgia factor right on the nose and runs with it. Maybe if I was a straight boy who grew up in the 80s with the privilege to play all these games and watch all these movies, I’d have enjoyed it too. But I’m not, and I didn’t.

Read it on Goodreads

Wade Watts is the definition of a Gary Stu. He’s immediately good at everything he does, and is the smartest and the best at what matters in this world. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that he was able to read so many books, and watch so many movies multiple times over such a short period of time. Retaining the information is a little more believable because there are people out there who remember every single thing they read or watch, but adding that to how amazing he is, it got on my nerves so much. So often I see people complain about Mary Sues and these seemingly perfect female characters, but the second that same kind of character is a man, they love them! No one liked Bella Swan. Hell, I don’t like Bella Swan. She’s bland and has zero redeeming or interesting qualities. But guess what! Wade Watts is the same way! You can’t hate one and like the other, that’s not how this works. Yes I see so many people hating characters like Bella while loving characters like Wade. Not only is he bland, he’s one of Those Fanboys. The one’s who see someone in a shop wearing some sort of nerdy shirt and go “UM DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ANSWER THIS OBSCURE TRIVIA QUESTION TO PROVE YOUR WORTH!!” and he does this in canon. This is an actual scene that occurs! And he’s praised and literally applauded when the other character can’t answer. You don’t have to take some quiz and know every single piece of trivia to enjoy something. It doesn’t make you a lesser fan, and I hate the underlying message of this book is “if you know everything about pop culture you’ll come out on top”. Art3mis was the best thing about this book, but even she was sidelined and not allowed to live to her full potential. She exists solely for Wade and nothing more. Their romance is disgusting and while she makes incredibly good points about how Wade doesn’t really know her, no one listens to her and of course she eventually gives in and the get together. Never mind he cyberstalked her, never mind he pined over her for years and treated her like she was some sort of celebrity who could do no wrong, they get together because Wade is the Hero and he has to get the Girl. But it’s okay because he doesn’t think she’s ugly! Even though she has a birthmark! He’s a Nice Guy, and thinks she’s beautiful anyway, he’s so nice he thinks she’s even more beautiful with the birthmark! That’s not to say a birthmark makes you ugly, but the phrasing of how he romanticised her was so gross like he was fetishizing her. Which is another problem this book had. Look. I get it. People have kinks. There’s nothing wrong with that. But sometimes, you see a work of art, or you read a book, and you can just tell what the author or artist’s kinks and fetishes are and it makes me so uncomfortable. We as readers don’t need to be subjected to your sexual fantasies, especially in a non-erotica novel. If this was even a romance novel, I’d maybe let it slide. But it’s scifi. Non erotic scifi. The most romance we got (outside of the fetish implications) were a couple mentions of kissing, and a mention of masturbation. Please, leave your fetishes in erotica. When the book actually focused on plot related things, and I mean that in terms of action and not “here’s some background information to make the plot make sense”, it was decent. This book was so full of potential which is partly why I’m so frustrated with it. But even the action scenes were tainted because we didn’t get to figure things out on our own. Everything was explained to us. The references had to be explained, so people unfamiliar with obscure 80s popculture wouldn’t be completely lost, but then what’s the point? Why not just leave the explanations alone and let the real audience you were looking to grab enjoy it. I get that the 80s were important, especially from a technology stand point, but I just don’t care. Nostalgia is the only thing this book has going for it and that’s not what makes a good book. Even figuring out the riddles was taken away from the reader. Half the time, Wade immediately told us what he figured out so there was no mystery for us as readers. There was no fun puzzle to solve, because Wade already solved it. When he did have trouble, it was with something we would have no hope to figure out because it involved actually playing a video game. This book was really just an excuse to shove in as many 80s references as possible. Like it was shouting “HEY THE 80S WERE GREAT REMEMBER THE 80S? THEY WERE GREAT!” but only people who lived through it could possibly care. So maybe I’m not the intended audience. Fine, whatever. I’m just mad that so many people are saying what a great book this is and how perfect it is and how amazing a character Wade Watts is when none of that is true. It’s true for a very small group of people, and then those people hype it up so much that others agree automatically because if this many people say it’s good, then it must be! I don’t like how it treats autism, I don’t like how it treats its female characters I hate to count Aech as a female character because honestly? When your only queer character is pretending to be straight and male for 90% of a standalone novel, then it doesn’t count , I don’t like that it sidelines everyone for the sake of Wade. He didn’t even grow as a character. So why 1.5 (two by goodreads standards) stars and not a solid 1? Because I appreciate the message that world sucks and sometimes video games are a great escape to that. I appreciate the message that while escapes are good, you have to go back and deal with the real world every now and then. I appreciate the message that letting corporations control the internet is a terrible idea, and we should all band together and fight them until they give up (and hopefully arrested, but hey that’s why this is fantasy). This was full of potential wrapped in an incredible amount of suck. I do think the movie shares that potential, but I’m not getting my hopes up for it. I’d really only recommend this to a certain type of fanboy who I avoid on principle.

[petite-neko]

Trapped in the Past - 02

Fanfiction: Trapped in the Past Story Summary: The past can sometimes be a nice place to visit, however one should not spend too much time lingering in times already long gone if one can help it… Fandom: Dragon Ball Z Characters: Gohan, M!Trunks, Piccolo Pairing: Gohan/M!Trunks Rating: T Warnings: Depression, Character Death, angst, PTSD Author’s Notes: I should mention: This story is seven years old, so Super did not exist at the time of writing. Also have not watched much of it yet. (I set up a ko-fi account guys! Feel free to donate! Link in blog description!)

(Check source for ao3 link!) Chapter 1 || Chapter 2: Power|| Chapter 3

Power.

While Gohan had hated fighting, he couldn’t really say he was scared stiff of it. Certainly, as a child it froze him stiff, it cost him the lives of many, but none of it compared to then.

Fighting didn’t leave him screaming in the night for weeks on end…

.+++.

Androids.

Not green.

Not this laughter.

Not all of their horrors combined in one…

Androids. That’s what Trunks had come to warn them about. That’s what Trunks was terrified of. Androids. Not this.

Not this monstrosity.

Gohan sat up, his eyes wide, his pulse racing. He placed his head in his hands, trying to calm his breath, trying to calm himself. Trying to shut out that mocking, sarcastic, proud laughter.

Goku!

Look! Look! Look at what you have done!

“Shut up… shut up…”

Grow, grow, let it grow…

“Stop… Stop…”

Look at him. Look at this weakling.

Gohan resisted screaming, settling for rocking himself back and forth. So long! So long! He had been free! He had done so well! So why? Why were these dreams coming back now? There was no threat! It was peaceful, so peaceful!

That laughter rung in his head again.

“Who…”

Gohan shook his head. No. Push it back. Don’t think about it. Forget it. It’s the only way. He sighed before going to the bathroom and ran cool water on his face.

He just could not get that voice out of his head.

“Who was that who I hit?”

.+++.

“Gohan!”

Chi-Chi was standing there, one hand on her hip holding a parcel, the other waving at him. “Don’t tell me you are going to go without your lunch!” She scolded at him, waggling her index finger at him with accusation.

A wary smile graced his face.

He couldn’t sleep after what he had dreamed. After what he remembered. And because of that he was tired physically and also emotionally exhausted.

Of course he would forget something.

“Sorry Mother. I almost forgot.” He gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek, taking the packed lunch with a bashful smile. “Thank you.” With that, he returned to the skies, hearing his mother’s voice call out to him.

Thankfully, she didn’t notice any change in his behaviour.

“Don’t forget to say hello to my daughter-in-law Gohan!”

Videl…

That’s who his mother meant.

The young woman he had met during his final year at high school. Certainly he knew of her prior to that, but he never knew her.

She was the popular daughter of Hercule Satan. He the nerdy home-schooled boy at his first year of public school.

While certainly they did have quite the common grounds to interact on, it was only Gohan who knew of those common grounds. It was only Gohan who could initiate them, and he wouldn’t.

He didn’t need the fame, he didn’t need the fortune. He didn’t need nor want the attention.

He didn’t want to be known as the hero of the world. He didn’t want to be known as the one who defeated Cell.

He was no hero… he just wanted to stop the terror.

He wanted it all to end.

He was no hero.

But it was Videl who noticed anyway.

He was no hero.

But Videl thought otherwise.

At first, his mother had gone and paired him up with Videl when he began to teach her how to fly. (He knew the initial reason was Videl’s family’s fortune – a fortune he should have had but he did not. However, he also knew that she was not all that selfish. While they were dwindling low on his grandfather’s fortunes, his mother would have never forced him on anybody, and she had known that Videl herself was a strong, independent woman. Videl was similar to who she was, and she knew that Gohan needed to have a woman like that, and the one he would marry needed to be strong and independent. He was his father’s son, and as they say, the apple does not fall too far from the tree.) However, Gohan had noticed affection for the young woman developing on its own. And when his mother found out that the two had started dating, she was ecstatic.

It had been almost a year now, and he was happy, he was content, but he couldn’t be certain he could say the same for Videl…

There were times where his girlfriend was filled with confusion, or sadness. There was just this expression on her face, and he didn’t know how to solve it.

She was his first relationship, his first everything.

...Well, almost his first everything…

He shook that out of his mind and sighed.

Relationships were hard.

.+++.

As he approached the roof of their college-to-be, he was enthusiastically greeted by Videl.

“Gohan!”

He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist and spun her as they both landed on the roof. “Hello Videl. My mother sends her greetings as well.”

Her blue eyes rolled.

Blue. Blye eyes. They were wide in shock. In surprise. In pain.

Suddenly Gohan felt like he was going to lose his breakfast.

“She always does that.”

Gohan pushed the emotions, pushed the churning nausea, pushed her away. “Yeah.” He let a soft laugh. Hopefully Videl would take it for embarrassment and not discomfort. “She called you her daughter-in-law too.” He pushed the embarrassing subject to hide his current emotions.

“The first girl you’re with and she’s already handing out wedding invitations, isn’t she?” She teased him, jabbing him with her elbow.

Good, she was taking the bait. “Well, she hasn’t gone that far!” Good, the memory was going away…

“Yet.”

They both laughed.

.+++.

Perhaps he was a little distant, but he hoped his friends would think it was because he was focused on studying. They always did call him a nerd anyway.

But looking at Videl, it hurt. And it wasn’t her fault. It just happened to be just who she was, just who her father was to be exact. What her father stood for. What he represented.

“Tricks! Tricks! That’s all it is!”

Gohan wondered, did that man still think they were tricks? Oh he’d show him otherwise.

His head, it hurt. As soon would his chest. And eventually he’d become so tired that he couldn’t even focus on a single task at hand.

He hated it.

And he hated that he was so used to it.

As they walked out to lunch, he felt Videl’s hand on his arm.

“Gohan…” There was worry. Worry in those blue, blue eyes.

He winced and glanced away.

Maybe she didn’t take the bait after all…

“Something’s wrong.”

“I… just couldn’t sleep last night. That’s all.”

He couldn’t burden her. He couldn’t tell her. She would never understand. She could never understand.

“That’s bullshit.”

He turned to her at her language, but immediately regretted it, as he saw a very familiar determined expression on her face.

Then she sighed. “I… listen Gohan. I know, I know there are things I don’t understand, but I’m here, alright? I’m always here.” Her grip on his arm tightened. “Besides, isn’t that what a fiancée is for?”

There was that soft, teasing grin on her face – even if it was weak. He appreciated her efforts – he truly did – but something so… minor, it couldn’t lift what plagued him. His head shook. “I am sorry Videl.” And he patted her shoulder before turning around.

He didn’t miss seeing that torn expression of something on her face. That sadness.

“Gohan… please.” She pleaded.

That desire.

[clumsychicken]

OC ask meme for Sam! 7, 25, 36, A, E, F!

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Objects, senses, and habits--the whole shebang, really. Both Malcolm’s old robe and one of Bethany’s scarves are hugely nostalgic to him, in a positive way, and he loves wearing them. The scarf in particular is something he usually keeps on his person. He tries to keep it in good condition, but it sees some wear and tear over the years. These items smell like the people they used to belong to as well, which is... nice.

Smells and sounds in general are big ones for him. Bethany’s favourite flowers and that weird scent that clung to his dad that he still sometimes gets a whiff of around Leandra and the old mansion. It’s not always nice--it depends on his mood. Sometimes it’s not nice to be reminded of these things--dead family members and otherwise forgotten things. He prefers when he can actively choose to seek out that nostalgia instead of suddenly being confronted with it, you know? No habits really lingered from Malcolm, it’s been too long and he was too young when they lost him. But with Bethany, there’s a lot of stuff he still has to work out of his memory. How she liked her eggs, not to make them alongside everyone else’s, how he’d immediately want to tell her about what he reads in alchemy books and defer to her advice on said subject--all the things she’d do, all the things he’d do for her and with her. He’s like this with a lot of things, but it particularly stings with Bethany.

That, and he tends to just... freeze up completely whenever he’s faced with an ogre.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

He very much thought it was something that wasn’t ever going to happen to him :p think again, bitch! No but seriously, he thinks everyone should have the opportunity to get married if they want to, but he isn’t particularly for or against the idea of it for himself. He never really planned his life around it or had any “when I get married...” thoughts. When he’s actually in a relationship and deeply in love and whatnot, he considers it. A lot. Enough to maybe do something about it if he finds himself unable to ignore these thoughts ;)

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

Neither tbh. He doesn’t have a huge need for physical affection, but he still kind of desires Love. He just doesn’t consider himself particularly worthy of it, so he’s neither seeking nor waiting--he just kind of ignores it, not expecting to find or receive it. He’s never the first person to make a move because he assumes the man he’s interested in isn’t interested in him until proven otherwise--but he might (attempt to) flirt a little bit (badly), and he’ll happily reciprocate flirting and bigger gestures. He just doesn’t really know what to do with it if it’s left up to himself.

A) Why are you excited about this character?

He’’s,,, m y SON,,,,,,

And like... he’s a character that developed from being “Ugly Hawke”, who I only made because I didn’t think I could create a handsome male Hawke, to being like.....my literal favourite OC? lmao.....he’s a total mess and very, very precious to me because he basically sprung forth and developed naturally......like a tree? Growing ever taller and bigger while its roots grow longer and dig deeper into the soil. I put so many parts of myself in him that I didn’t even realize were my own, and now they’ve taken on new forms in him. It’s, um, very exciting tbh? I hope I never get sick of him and that I’ll create him in every game with a CC, always...

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I think so, yeah! We don’t necessarily have a bunch of interests in common, but we’re both very nerdy and I definitely won’t mind listening to him infodump about maths and whatever new book he’s read that excited him :p so yeah, I think we could potentially have a very good time in each other’s company!

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

DEEP MOTHERLY LOVE

[divorcedfiddleford]

i know this is random, but do you have any tips on writing ford and fiddleford? you do a really good job on their characterizations and even though i'm very familiar with their characters i always write people out of character when i'm writing, lol! thanks !!!!

ghhhgg i Kid but anyway im like super distracted so i just made a list of a bunch of common mistakes i see when people r writing themedit: i was so wrong i made such a long fucking post im sorry this was a Mistake (rip mobile users)

first things first everything in the journal was Fake

fiddleford:

“fiddleford is a poor precious cinnamon roll who is helpless and did nothing wrong uwu” fuck off he built all those robots and probably killed a bunch of people in the process he isnt some innocent sunflower he’s more like a rowdy dandelion

yes this applies even if you’re writing young fiddleford he was just more patient and less open with his life of crime because he didnt want to go to jail

his eyes are blue. theyre fucking blue. theyre fucking b

“he doesnt like swears/he’s soft-spoken” wrong he’s literally the only character to have sworn on-screen

“he started the society because he was traumatized by what he’d seen” no, where did you get that idea. he literally says he invented the gun because he was “haunted by the thoughts of what I’d done” >literally stating that it was guilt not fear that was bothering him. eventually yes he used it for erasing scary memories but that was not his initial intent

he’s not bald anymore

really any idea that fiddleford is pathetic is grossly ooc i can think of one situation in the show that he wasn’t able to get himself out of and thats because he was turned into a fucking arras

what is this southern belle bullshit… he chews tobacco and wrestles pigs please stop woobifying this force of nature

a banjo is not the same as a guitar. a banjo is not the same as a guitar. a banjo is not the same as a guitar.

if youre going to write accents don’t be obnoxious about it

EX: “How are y’all doin’ this fine evening?”NOT: “Hower y’all doien’ this fain evenin’?”you don’t have to use the mannerisms in every sentence and you don’t have to drop the g in every -ingphonetic spelling is a pain to read like at the most you should be using apostrophes not respelling words (“Stanferd” more like kill me now)

also make sure your mannerisms are geographically accurate he’s not from texas i never want to see him say “sugah” again

his accent isnt even that strong in the show …what……….

tip: fiddleford is salty as FUCK he has NO MERCY and holds onto grudges like a lifesaver in a storm

tip: he loves being around people and will talk to them about fucking anything such as his multiple cases of manslaughter but doesn’t usually open up about his insecurities unless prompted

further reading: 1 2 3 4

stanford:

“everything that happened to fiddleford is ford’s fault” did ?? you even watch the show??? fiddleford did all that shit himself ford had nothing to do with it

“ford was manipulating dipper and con-” im gonna stop you right there. ford loves his niece and nephew. he agreed to leave the kids alone because stan thought he was too dangerous to be around them. stan only let dipper hang out with ford after dd&md. ford loves dipper and mabel equally and never wanted them to split up or anything. bill fucking knew this hence why he threatened ford with killing them. he made the proposal to dipper about the apprenticeship because he genuinely thought that was the best thing for dipper. he was wrong but he didnt know that

in fact while we’re at it - ford literally always does stuff with the best of intentions he’s just dumb and unlucky as shit

deal with the devil? he thought the devil was his nerdy buddy not the devil. he just was so happy to have a friend who appreciated him he didnt realize he was the fucking devil

abandon your brother? he thought his brother had sabotaged his dreams and that the only person he’d ever trusted had betrayed him. he was wrong but it’s not like stan apologized or denied it. also what was he supposed to do? challenge his dad? in case you didn’t notice filbrick was a fucking terrible dad

building a doomsday device? too bad you’re literally being manipulated and abused by Lucifer The Triangle

“ford didn’t want to make amends with stan” um, no, like obviously he’s still mad and stuff but in dd&md he stops himself from getting super mad and asks stan if he wants to play with him and dipper

“ford wanted to kick stan out” ?? when did he say that??? the closest thing he said to that was that he wanted his house back and while i GUESS you could interpret that as he wanted it back to himself he follows it up directly with “this mystery shack junk is over forever” so its pretty obvious he means he wants the tourist trap that makes a mockery of his entire life’s purpose out of his house

“fords a grumpy guy” he is the opposite . he is overflowing with love and pride for those he holds dear. he might be a little gruff but who wouldnt be after living in hell for 30 years

remember that one asshole whose kink is “ciphord abuse”. dont be that guy. dont write kink shit

just. don’t make ford the villain. dont do it.

this may come as a surprise to you..but….he DOESNT have to bring up his intellect all the time! a shock i know

tip: ford is very excitable he loves getting up and doing things and going on adventures!! he loves interacting with the creatures around gravity falls like the gnomes and steve (see: every gotdamn episode)

he’s also very sympathetic; if someone he knows/cares about is struggling he does whatever he can to help them and comfort them (see: the last mabelcorn, damvtf)

he tends to think more big picture as opposed to worrying about individual details. the priority is always solving the larger problem unless a loved one’s life is ostensibly in danger in which case that takes priority (see: damvtf, wmg1, wmg3)

tip: ford is gay

tip: he’s also anti-social and wouldn’t be very forward with romantic notions like it would take him months before he even THINKS about kissing someone and even then its like a 10 hour loop of beach boys’ wouldn’t it be nice

tip: he is the king of infodumping and explains everything in excruciating detail

tip: he likes to have a good time! don’t be afraid to let him have fun!!

further reading: 1 2 3

for both:

enough of the angst. enough. enough

if you’re going to make them trans don’t milk the dysphoria

tip from my pal rudy @blue-dipper​ (im not trans)

same kinda goes for if youre doing romance dont overplay the internal/external homophobia i made that mistake so many times its just clunky and gets in the way of the characters

the whole idea of “the innocent one” vs “the sinful one” is garbage. abandon it. you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders

realistically if it’s a reunion thing don’t make them hook up automatically this shit takes time

in general avoid stereotypes. some examples being “the hippie” or “the nerd” just write them like they act on the show its easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved

ALEX HIRSCH ≠ WORD OF GOD only the stuff in the show needs to be considered 100% canon you can pick and choose all the other stuff or ignore it entirely

in conclusion all fiction is subjective and writing someone “in character” all depends on how you perceive the character. these are my perceptions of the character and yeah i get really frustrated when people don’t agree because i believe mine are those that make the most sense and that good representation of neurodivergent and lgbta+ people is important also im petty and annoying. the most important thing is that you be consistent with your portrayals (unless your perception of the character is inconsistency in which case good luck)

[captainsbabysitter-blog]

Jim Kirk Headcanons

Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. I should note that these are all TOS headcanons because honestly I love TOS more; each character just has more... Character. Just my opinion.

Questions under the cut!

Addendum: This took forever, so I may just answer asks unless I get reeeeally bored again.

1. What does their bedroom look like?

On the Enterprise, I see his room being somewhat sparse. He’s busy making strategies and interacting with other crew members in his off time. His home off-ship is full of shelves upon shelves of books. Jim is a reader. It’s how he escaped a less than awesome childhood and it expanded into a genuine, everlasting love.

He would also have posters of space. Educational, nerdy posters depicting the blueprints of ancient space shuttles and schematics for various things that grabbed his fancy.

And his chess boards. I hardcore headcanon that Pike taught him chess and he has several boards on various flat surfaces throughout his bedroom, but there’s one that’s special. One that has really crudely carved out pieces on a board with roughly painted black squares checkered with the natural light tones of pine that he made himself when he was on Tarsus IV and it’s a reminder of his belief in no-win scenarios and his duty to those who depend on him that stays with him even after he’s given his captaincy on the Enterprise.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

Jim walks every path of the ship at least once a week. He likes the first-hand knowledge that everything is okay, everyone is safe, and he has a rotating schedule of the areas he visits. Mondays and Tuesdays are the upper decks, and so on and so forth.

Sometimes Bones or Spock will join him if they’re feeling up for it, but for the most part it’s just something he does himself.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

See above. Beyond that, yes. He practices fighting styles and does other strength training on top of his daily walks.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

He’d help in the kitchen, honestly. He’s not particularly good at cooking, but he can do some basic stuff and whatever helps moves things along faster is what he’s going to do.

Just picture him wearing a Kiss The Cook apron over his command golds, flour on his nose and an easy grin.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

It depends. His work space is spotless. He needs that clear space to stay in the right headspace for leading an entire ship.

Home? Home is a disaster. He has projects on every surface, pictures and posters all over the walls, and it’s sort of an organized mess, but it IS a mess.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu.

This one is less headcanon and more canon. If he can get away with eating steak and fries with every meal, he’s going to. But everyone knows Bones would annihilate him before his arteries had a chance to clog, so he’s forced to eat some greens once in a while.

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Chess or reading or even just sitting in the rec room watching his crew enjoy themselves. In his eyes, time isn’t wasted if it’s spent on something enjoyed.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

He indulges in expensive alcohols on special occasions.

Promotion for him or a member of his crew? A few fingers of a nice southern bourbon Bones gave him for Christmas.

Spock or Bones’ birthday? Share a few fingers of a scotch Scotty brewed up in that “secret” still of his.

Anniversary of the Enterprise launching with its present crew? Enjoy a few with his favorite people and reminisce about the fun they’ve had and the dangers they’ve faced and survived and remember the people they’ve lose (because Jim remembers every. single. one)

9. Makeup?

He wouldn’t be above a bit of color on special occasions or if it were culturally important, but he would stick mostly to concealer/foundation.

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

He has a near-neurotic need to ensure himself that his Enterprise family is safe. Even after his long walks along the ship, he would stop by the places he knows Spock and Bones will be just to check up on them before he retires to his own rooms for the night. They would come to expect him and know that it makes Jim feel better knowing where they are and that they’re safe.

If questioned, he’ll deny it. Doubly so if you claim it’s neurotic in any way.

11. Intellectual pursuits?

Oh oodles. Jim will take on any intellectual pursuit he’s presented with if only because he’s curious. Even if he doesn’t keep up with it or loses interest after a day or two of poking around and getting a feel for it, he has at least a passing knowledge in a multitude of fields.

12. Favorite book genre?

All of them. He’d have his reasons for each individual genre and wouldn’t be able to choose just one.

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Pansexual. I’ll note here that to me, the term pansexual means that he would appreciate people on all places of the gender spectrum and various representations.

But Jim wouldn’t really call himself that. He doesn’t really bother with labels like that for himself, but doesn’t really judge other people for theirs either.

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Jim has a few food allergies, and tree nuts of any kind is a big one. It’s severe enough that the replicators have a restriction barring them from making anything with nuts as an ingredient.

Not sure why, but I also always saw him as being allergic to cats.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Biggest short term goal is to get Bones and Spock to openly admit they enjoy each others company.

Smallest is getting through two away missions in a row without everything going sideways.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Biggest long term goal is getting through the mission without losing any of his officers. The events surrounding Wrath of Khan shattered him on multiple levels because he felt like he failed.

Smallest long term goal is to serve Starfleet as long as he can manage to get away with.

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Outside of uniform, he’s not picky about his clothes. He’d rummage through his closet until he found something resembling a full outfit and call it good.

18. Favorite beverage?

Saurian brandy, but he doesn’t indulge in that too often.

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Jim thinks back on any mistakes he may have made that day either on the bridge or on an away mission and would devise ways to go about them in better ways next time. He’s a renowned strategist, and he didn’t get that way by accident. He enjoys thinking up these sorts of scenarios and solutions; it’s relaxing and helps him sleep knowing that he’s ready for anything the universe might throw at him.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

None, really. There’s a reason he was spared on Tarsus and it wasn’t because he was sickly or suffering from any sort of illness.

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Confidence is a huge turn-on for him. It sounds cliche, but Jim loves a person who knows how to handle themselves. He also has a thing for throats and necks.

He can’t get into someone who feels like they’re better than others. You could be the richest person in the known universe with looks that take the breath of all who look upon you, but if you snub a server or sneer at someone of a lower caste, Jim won’t look at you twice.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Depends on his mood. He might jot down some random thoughts that he doesn’t want to forget, but he’s more likely to make little doodles. He once spent an hour listening to Bones and Spock bicker and drew them while they did it. It’s one of his favorite drawings.

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

He functions on a sort of organized chaos. He has an order in which he responds to problems, and his work space is immaculate, but if he’s studying or researching, he’s very much one of those people who would have PADD’s or even books strewn all around him while he’s searching for exactly what he needs.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Tactics. There’s a reason he loves chess so much, and he’d love the challenge that comes with a new, unfamiliar opponent.

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

If he has any say, he’ll still be on the Enterprise with his favorite people, exploring the universe.

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

His only real plan is the Enterprise. He wants to fly until he can’t anymore and then he wants to settle down with Bones and Spock when they’re all retired. Any other plan isn’t acceptable to him.

27. What is their biggest regret?

That he didn’t know his son the way he feels a father should.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Spock and Bones are his best friends.

Khan is his worst enemy.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

He’s trained to respond in emergencies, so he’s the one grabbing the extinguisher and/or making sure the others are somewhere safe before he lets himself hand the reigns over to someone better equipped to deal with it.

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Jim goes inward when someone close to him dies. He sits alone in his room and truly contemplates what life will be like now that that person is gone, and if he drinks just a bit too much in those moments? Well there’s no one there to chastise him.

31. Most prized possession?

Anything gifted to him by someone close to him. The secretly joint gift of reading glasses and print novel given to him by Spock and Bones on his birthday are his favorite.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

He could take ‘em or leave ‘em. He doesn’t have a lot of space for such things on the ship, so it’s not something he’d really care about.

33. Concept of home and family?

The Enterprise and her crew are his home and family, and ultimately home is wherever he can be with Bones and Spock.

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

Jim’s a surprisingly private person. He doesn’t feel the need to broadcast every single happening in his life to anyone other than those that are the closest to him. A captain needs to maintain a certain amount of decorum with his crew no matter how close they get.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

He doesn’t see anything that he enjoys as a waste of time. A waste of time implies it was both not enjoyable and serves no higher purpose.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

Failing in any way that results in injury to a member of the crew. That sort of thing eats at him for weeks.

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

A good captain knows how to balance both. He wouldn’t put one over the other because they’re both essential to his very being and so he goes with his gut, but he backs it with facts (even if the facts are made up on the fly).

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

He considers himself a Type B. Someone has to balance Spock and Bones, and besides... Being high strung never got him anywhere.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Chess with Spock or a nice stiff drink with Bones.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Neither. He’s as good as he is, but he’s no better than anyone else. Yeah, there are people that are better than him, but they have experience that he doesn’t and strives to achieve.

41. How misanthropic are they?

Not at all.

42. Hobbies?

Reading and chess.

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

You don’t get to be a captain by dropping out and never finishing school. He has a lot of extensive schooling both through the standard system and through his years at the academy.

44. Religion?

Not religious.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Skeptical. He’s never seen evidence that any of these things exist, so he doesn’t tend to believe in them.

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Primarily words, but also in deed. He’s a diplomat, and so he knows how to charm anyone if he sets his mind to it.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

He doesn’t have an ideal. An ideal implies that you restrict yourself to one type of person, and that’s just not Jim’s style. His only real requirements are that they be someone that he can find mentally stimulating.

48. How do they express love?

He’s a tactile lover. Touches to the arm, a hand at the lower back, a thumb brushing a cheek, laying so that the entire length of his body is touching his lover’s are all silent, simple ways Jim would express love.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

A little thing I’ve called James T. Kirk’s Full-Body Karate. It’s funny because he just... Flings himself at enemies.

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

No. It’s a possibility he’s long since accepted about his job and position in Starfleet. He knows that one day he might die and he’s made peace with it.

He’s still convinced that he won’t die so long as Spock and Bones are with him, however. After all, he’s going to die alone.

[torestoreamends]

Wand Headcanons

I’ve seen people speculating about Albus and Scorpius’s wands in light of this post, so I thought I’d dust of my own wand headcanons and join in the fun! 

I’ve actually written fics about all of these, apart from Scorpius’s first wand.  If you’re interested here is little Albus getting his first wand. And here is a two part fic about Albus and Scorpius getting their second wands! I’ve never gone into massive detail about the headcanons themselves though. So, without further ado... here they are! 

Albus’s First Wand 

Blackthorn and Phoenix Feather, 10 inches, reasonably pliant

I loved blackthorn as a wand for Albus because it’s a bit unusual and spiky (’the blackthorn bush, which sports wicked thorns...’), and is suited to a warrior. I think Albus is a fighter, and he certainly has a prickly disposition, so it seems to suit his personality. It’s a powerful wand wood, although the interesting thing is that ‘the wands made from this wood appear to need to pass through danger or hardship with their owners to become truly bonded’.

I really like the idea that Albus’s troubles with magic partly come from the fact that he isn’t really bonded with his wand yet. There are lots of reasons for his problems I think, emotional ones in particular, but this would be an interesting contributing factor. But the thing is, the danger and hardship that would help him bond with it is the encounter with Delphi, so the wand is lost before he has chance to figure it out. 

Exacerbating this difficulty further is the Phoenix Feather core. I didn’t deliberately pick that core because it’s the same as Harry’s, but I like that it is, because imagine it only adding to Albus’s feeling of living in his father’s shadow. Anyway, one of the features of Phoenix wands is that their allegiance is hard to win, they’re difficult to tame and personalise, although eventually they’re capable of a great range of magic. I like the idea that Albus’s wand is full of untapped potential, a potential it will never achieve, although its owner hopefully will. 

I went with a shorter wand for Albus because he’s pretty small in terms of height and build, but also because he’s introverted and quiet, and he contains expressions of his true personality to when he’s around Scorpius. 

I deliberately didn’t want him to have a rigid or inflexible wand, because that isn’t his character. He does grow and change, and he shows willingness to adapt his behaviour (he apologises at the end of the library scene, and I’m sure he’d be determined to learn from the mistakes he made with Scorpius there). In the final scene of the play he talks about trying to be a better son for Harry. He can accept his problems and try to change them. However he is also stubborn and snappish, and I think ‘reasonably pliant’ is a way of capturing all that. 

Albus’s Second Wand 

Larch and Dragon Heart String, 10 3/4 inches, rather springy

I picked larch for Albus’s second wand, because the description of it feels warm and powerful, and I think it’s a nice fit for his future growth as a character. Larch wands have a reputation for instilling courage and confidence in their user, and I want Albus to have confidence in his ability more than anything. I love the idea of him having a second wand that will help him believe in himself, and reach his true potential, as opposed to his tricky, obstructive first wand. 

On the subject of potential, ‘it is often the case that the witch or wizard who belongs to the larch wand may never realise the full extent of their considerable talents until paired with it, but that they will then make an exceptional match’. Albus has so much to give that he’s never discovered before. As he repairs his relationship with his dad, grows in confidence, discovers his abilities and passions, and becomes more comfortable in himself and his position in the wizarding world, I think he’ll discover a lot of talents, and will surprise himself. This seems to perfect wand for him to do that with. 

I went with Dragon as a core because it’s powerful, and fast learning. I love the tendency towards the Dark Arts. Albus has a dark, angsty streak. We see him suggest killing Delphi. He struggles with the idea of his Slytherin side. But of course he’s an ultimately good character, and I love to think of him holding something with the potential for darkness in his hand and choosing to use it for good. I think that would be a really empowering thing for his character. I also love that Dragon is prone to accidents and is a little temperamental. As great a wizard as Albus becomes, I like to imagine he’ll always have a little trouble with magic sometimes. 

I thought this wand should be a little longer than the first, because Albus is coming out of his shell by the end of the play. I imagine him expressing himself more, and I think a longer wand goes hand in hand with his growing confidence. Additionally, he has grown as a person, and is prepared to grow further. I think he’s happier, and more outgoing, hence the springy flexibility. 

Scorpius’s First Wand

Willow and Unicorn Hair, 12 1/2 inches, pleasantly swishy

This is another uncommon wand wood (apparently I like using those? It wasn’t super intentional). I chose it partly because of the healing power, because I like to headcanon Scorpius as becoming a healer when he’s older, but there’s a lot more to it than that. 

‘I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it.’ I think this applies to Scorpius. He has this issue about being brave, and trying to prove his bravery to his dad, which comes up a couple of times, both within the script, and within the background action onstage. And I think there’s a level of insecurity that comes with being branded the ‘son of Voldemort’, and that comes with being a Malfoy, and the judgement which accompanies both of those things. 

Scorpius is unashamedly himself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care what people think of him, particularly those who are important to him. And he does seem to question himself and make quiet admissions about his insecurities, although he’s excellent at hiding them away. 

Then there’s the reputation of enabling advanced magic. Scorpius is going to be a great wizard. He’s very smart, and powerful, he works hard in school and loves studying. He has a lot of knowledge, and I’m sure that extends into his spellwork. I think a wand that was ambitious, and wanted an accomplished owner would undoubtedly select Scorpius. 

Alongside this is the fact that willow wands select those of great potential, who have a long way to go. Scorpius has great potential. He’s ambitious, and I’m sure he aspires to be a brilliant wizard. This aspect of willow seems to suit him perfectly. 

Again I chose for Scorpius the same core as is in his dad’s wand. Again it was unintentional, but kind of wonderful, because Scorpius, too, is struggling with father-son issues. However, the real reason I picked Unicorn is because it’s just good. They’re the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They’re faithful and consistent, and prone to light magic. And if anyone is pure and good, and has a kind heart, then it’s Scorpius Malfoy. 

I wanted Scorpius to have a longer, more flexible wand, because he’s tall and skinny and has a big, flamboyant personality. He’s nerdy, and unashamed about it, and he’s an all singing all dancing ridiculous geek, no matter the circumstances he’s in. It shines out of him. And of course he listens and learns, and is adaptable. I can’t imagine Astoria Malfoy raising a son who isn’t capable of taking in and carefully considering new points of view.

Scorpius’s Second Wand

Pear and Phoenix Feather, 11 1/2 inches, nice and flexible

This is a bit of an interesting one, because it isn’t entirely Scorpius’s wand. Someone once suggested to me the idea of Scorpius finding Astoria’s wand after his own is snapped, and it choosing him. It was such a beautiful thought that I couldn’t let it go, so this is a wand which I think fits both of them. 

Pear is essentially a good wand wood, as close to one as you can get. ‘I do not know of a single instance where a pear wand has been discovered in the possession of a Dark witch or wizard.’ I think that’s a pretty beautiful thing for a Malfoy, who’s been previously condemned as the ‘son of Voldemort’. I’ve already mentioned that if there’s any completely good-hearted person in Cursed Child then it’s probably Scorpius. 

This is a powerful, brilliant wand wood, and it gives its best ‘in the hands of warm-hearted, the generous and the wise’. Again, if that’s not a summary of both Scorpius and Astoria (as far as we see her in the play), then I’m not sure what is. The odd thing about pear wands is that their owners are usually popular and well-respected, which Scorpius certainly isn’t in 4th year, but there’s time for him to grow, and I certainly think Astoria would have been both popular and well-respected among those who knew her. 

The other lovely quality of pear is its resilience. Scorpius has an ability to be hit hard over and over again and just keep going. He suffers horrible rumours and bullying, his mother dies, his best friend abandons him without explanation, he finds himself lost and alone in a world where Voldemort rules, he’s tortured by Voldemort’s daughter, he and his best friend are trapped in the past... But still he continues to be himself. He keeps fighting and loving and being irrepressibly geeky and happy and full of the most terrible puns. Scorpius is probably the definition of resilience. 

I’d say the Phoenix Feather core is the most Astoria part of this wand. I think left to his own devices Scorpius would always have a unicorn core. But equally, he’s independent, and strong-willed, and capable of extraordinary magic, so I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t be chosen by a Phoenix wand. 

The 11 1/2 inches again speak to his height and build. Undoubtedly Astoria had a slightly more restrained, controlled personality than Scorpius does, I imagine because of her upbringing and social schooling, but this is still a flexible, expressive wand. As Scorpius grows up he probably does become less flaily and more considered in his words and actions. I don’t think it’s a restraint of personality, but a maturity thing. I can imagine him growing up to be relatively dignified and respectable, but still with a lot of sparkle and fun. And of course he would always keep his ability to learn and grow and embrace new ideas. 

*

So there you go. I’ve spent way too many hours of these, but I had fun. The original ones (Scorpius and Albus’s first wands) were developed in collaboration with @anthonyboyles while we sat in a Starbucks on the day of the Cursed Child premiere, so shout out to her for putting up with me chatting about wand woods for like three hours. 

[ethanalter]

Inside 'The Perils of Punky,' the 'Punky Brewster' episode that scarred you for life

[Ed. Note: This post was originally published on Oct. 20, 2015. With Halloween approaching, we thought it was the ideal time to revisit an episode that kept you up nights as a kid.]

Hey…has this image been given you nightmares since your childhood?

  How about this one?

  Don’t worry; you’re not going crazy. You just had your mind warped by Punky Brewster as a child. That’s right, Punky Brewster: the otherwise adorable series chronicling the misadventures of a spunky orphan named Punky (Soliel Moon Frye), and her adopted father, Henry (George Gaynes). Exactly 30 years ago today, on Oct. 20, 1985, the beloved ‘80s series aired a two-part Season 2 episode that ventured into more horrifying territory than your average kiddie sitcom. Do a Google search for the episode’s title and you’ll find articles like “The Unexpected Horror of Punky Brewster” and “How Punky Brewster Traumatized a Nation,” not to mention Reddit threads where now-grown viewers share their memories about which scene freaked them out the most. (That first picture up top is a perennial favorite.)

“So basically, you’re saying that I scarred an entire generation?” asks Art Dielhenn, who directed “The Perils of Punky,” the terrifying episode in question. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t responsible — I was just taking orders.” Having already directed over 20 episodes of Punky Brewster prior to “Perils” (Dielhenn helmed the majority of the shows first two seasons, nearly 44 successive episodes in all), he approached it as he did any other installment. In fact, the only thing that really scared him during production was the thought of missing his deadline. “It was a challenging episode, and as the person tasked with getting it done, the size outweighed the task of making it scary,” he explains. “So it was a very different experience making it than the experience you describe having seen it.”

  Actually, the first half of “Perils” isn’t so different from standard Punky fare. While on a camping trip, the titular heroine and her pint-sized pals — including chipper Cherie (Cherie Johnson), haughty Margaux (Ami Foster) and nerdy Allen (Casey Ellison) — get separated from their adult guardians and wind up inside a dank cave. While telling spooky stories to pass the time, the spirits of a Native American tribe approach them and charge Punky with the task of defeating an evil creature that lurks deep within the cavern.

Part 2 is where things get creepy, as Punky experiences a series of bizarre encounters that grow increasingly nightmarish as she approaches the end of her mission. First, she crosses paths with a man whose body parts are strewn in pieces around the cavern, leading her to christen him as — what else? — “Mr. Pieces.” (The fact that Mr. Pieces is played by instantly recognizable character actor, Vincent Schiavelli, just ups the weird factor. Dielhenn doesn’t recall the exact circumstances of Schiavelli’s casting or what it was like to direct a scene-stealer of his copious talents. “I doubt I had to do much,” he says, matter-of-factly.)

  After that, the gang is set upon by a giant spider, which wrestles Punky to the ground, while Margaux, Allen and Cherie remain stuck to its web, screaming. Fortunately, Punky regains the upper hand and she dispatches her foe to the arachnid afterlife with a well-timed tomahawk blow.

  Next up, the villainous spirit tests her lingering fears of abandonment, first by spiriting away her friends — replacing them with dancing skeletons or monsters with glowing red eyes — and then showing her a manufactured vision of Henry spontaneously deciding that he’s through being a dad.

  But Punky endures these various trials, and finally comes face to face with the architect of her would-be destruction, a glimmery phantom with Freddy Krueger-esque claws and a sinister voice, provided by none other than series creator David W. Duclon. Although the ghost tries to break her spirit once and for all, it winds up withering in the face of her pluck. Punky saves the day and is promptly reunited with her friends and father. It’s also revealed that her whole quest has just been part of her campfire ghost story, although a final shot adds an “Or was it…?” sting to the proceedings.

  Seen today, “The Perils of Punky” will likely inspire more laughs than screams, which is how Dielhenn characterizes the mood on set. “We always tried to make the set as fun and playful as we could for the kids. They would be going to school and then they’d come to set, and their buoyancy, kindness and desire for fun played into every scene.” One of those playful kids, Cherie Johnson, confirms his account. Now 39, the actress (and Duclon’s niece) remembers how her 9-year-old self cracked up. “I remember laughing at the spider,” she tells Yahoo TV. “I was on the spider web laughing with Amy and Soleil. We were like, ‘This is so lame.’”

The supernatural perils of “Perils” must have seemed extra-lame to Johnson considering that she and her co-stars were already seasoned horror movie fans. Every weekend, she’d have slumber parties with Moon and Foster during which they’d watch flicks like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Omen, while their parents cooked up big pots of blood-red foods like spaghetti and chili. “We would gross everybody around us out, but we were having the time of our lives,” Johnson says, laughing. “We were just different kinds of kids I guess, because we knew it wasn’t real. When we were shooting ‘Perils,’ we knew there was a props department, and we probably saw them making the spider and hoisting it up on its wires. So I don’t think the crew was worried about us being afraid. If anything, they had to be afraid of us trying to jump and play on it!”

  Like Dielhenn, Johnson is surprised to hear that “Perils” left such a deep impression on viewers. “I’ve never watched it in its entirety,” she confesses, likening the experience of revisiting any Punky episode to watching home movies of herself in kindergarten. “My mother still has the molding of my head that was used for the prop with the red eyes. My brother put it on his face recently and I hadn’t seen it in thirty years, so I was like ‘What is that?!’” Johnson’s primary memories of the shoot are the days they filmed on location in the wilderness, before shifting back to the show’s soundstages on the NBC lot for the extended sequences within the cave. Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show was housed on the same lot and Johnson says that she and Frye would often run into celebrity guests at the commissary. “One time we met Cyndi Lauper, and she put us on her tour bus and dressed us up.”

Reflecting on “The Perils of Punky” thirty years later, both Johnson and Dielhenn now have the distance to recognize why it might have triggered youthful fears amongst its audience. For one thing, the episode spoke directly to one of the essential themes of the series and a primal childhood terror: the idea that your friends and family would reject and desert you. “That theme was explored in many episodes,” says Dielhenn, who went on to direct episodes of such sitcoms as Silver Spoons and Head of the Class, before seguing into his current occupation as a professional career coach. “Punky and Henry would have many conversations about wanting to be with her mother and whether Henry would accept her and does she feel safe. There was a fundamental honesty in the emotional life of the characters, and that’s what I liked about doing the show. I haven’t thought about ‘The Perils of Punky’ for thirty years, but scanning it again, I can see how it could have been impactful for kids. No question.”

“Perils” also remains a generational touchstone because there are so few episodes of children’s television that are quite like it, especially these days when so many family friendly shows got out of their way to avoid upsetting or offending young viewers and, more importantly, their parents. Johnson, who continues to act while also juggling careers as a producer and author, has a 14-month daughter and has observed first-hand how the genre has changed. “I think a lot of it is made for adults and not kids anymore. Our generation was exposed to more than this generation is; everyone is trying to shield their kids. [Children’s shows] don’t talk about serious subjects in the way that we used to. They’d probably be scared of doing something like ‘The Perils of Punky’ now because too many people would complain. But I think it’s funny that, 30 years later, this is what sticks in peoples’ minds.” Nice to know that we can all share a laugh about giant spiders, dancing skeletons, girls with glowing red eyes and boys with crooked teeth and lifeless eyes…

  On second thought, no. Still freaked out.

All four seasons of Punky Brewster are available on DVD.

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