#no seriously i can read so much meaning into them

[ordinary-barbie]

warm enough for you outside, baby (tell me if it's warm enough here for you)

summary: Rafe is sick of watching you hopelessly pine for another guy, so he decides to take matters into his own hands.

word count: 2.2k

tags: mean!rafe, rafe is lowkey jealous, unrequited love, enemies (sort of) to lovers, pet names (princess, baby, sweetheart), au where jj is a kook, jj x kiara mentions, everyone is about 21 here, unprotected p in v, oral (fem receiving), fingering, mention of reader having periods, insecure!reader, creampie

note: title comes from Drew Barrymore by SZA!

Smut incoming under the cut—18+ only! Minors DNI!

You honestly made Rafe sick.

Every party, it was the same shit: you'd follow Jackson Generette like a puppy, lapping up any crumbs of attention he gave you. Rafe thought things would be different once JJ started dating Kiara Carrera, but somehow, you got even worse. You'd show up to parties with friends but send him longing looks the entire time, as if Generette could read your mind and run into your arms.

Rafe clenched his jaw as he watched you watching JJ and Kiara. The two of them were cuddled on the couch, Kiara's head thrown back in laughter as JJ whispered something into her ear. Did you seriously not see how pathetic it was to pine over someone interested in somebody else?

Rafe got up, ignoring the eager looks other Kook girls were sending him, and sidled up to you. You had absconded to an abandoned living room corner, gripping a cup of punch in your hand as you stared longingly at your crush and his girlfriend.

"You know he's never gonna look at you like that, right?" Rafe blurted, startling you. You turned to Rafe, frowning.

"You don't know what you're talking about," you muttered, trying to keep your composure.

Rafe snorted. "Princess, come on. You've been giving him the same 'fuck me' puppy dog eyes since high school. Just face it—he's not into you."

You huffed, scowling at Rafe. "You're such an asshole."

"So I've been told," Rafe replied, smirking at you.

"I honestly don't know why I can't get over him," you admitted, your lip wobbling. "He's just so...nice. And funny. It hurts that he only sees me as a friend."

Rafe couldn't help but feel a little bad for you, but a bigger part of him was so done with the moping over fucking Generette of all people. Not like he was doing the same towards you, yearning from afar. That was totally different, obviously.

"Well, you know what they say—the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else," Rafe casually replied, his grin turning downright lecherous. You gulped, that smile sending a bolt of lightning straight to your core.

You rolled your eyes. "What are you even talking about, Cameron?"

Rafe chuckled. "I mean, why waste your time simping over Generette when you have other options?"

You froze, not knowing what to say. Was Rafe Cameron, of all people, offering to hook up with you?

"If this is some weird pity fuck, you can forget it," you snapped. "I don't need you feeling sorry for me."

Rafe's smile grew lopsided. "Is it really that unbelievable that I would want to hook up with you, princess?"

You shrugged, fixing Rafe with a deadpan stare. "A little bit, yeah."

Rafe tsked at you, shaking his head. "You've been spending so much time making goo-goo eyes at him that you can't even see what's right in front of you, huh?"

He moved closer to you, brushing his lips against your ear. "Let me make you feel good," he murmured.

Your heart was racing. You got a whiff of his scent—an earthy, musky scent that made you want to bury your head in the side of his neck and inhale. You thought Rafe was cute—he may be a bit of a prick, but you had eyes, after all—but never would've imagined talking to him, let alone being with him in that way.

Fuck it. The boy you'd been crushing on since ninth grade would never return your affections, and at least Rafe was showing you some interest. You quickly downed your punch, letting the red solo cup drop to the ground with a thud.

"Make me feel good then," you said breathily, staring deeply into Rafe's eyes.

Rafe let out a low groan. "You're fuckin' killing me, sweetheart," he mumbled, before grabbing your hand and quickly leading you up the stairs of whatever Kook's house this was.

-

Rafe found a random room and kicked the door open before quickly locking it behind you. You wanted to look at the decor, but Rafe's lips were on yours before you could scope out the place. You supposed it didn't matter anyway, since Rafe would have you buried into the mattress soon enough.

You looped your arms around Rafe's neck, timidly kissing him back. You hadn't had much kissing experience besides the odd game of Truth or Dare or Seven Minutes in Heaven at a party, so you were a tad nervous. But then Rafe lightly bit your lip, enjoying your soft moan before sliding his tongue inside, and you found yourself passionately kissing him back.

"Take this off. Now," Rafe commanded, tugging at the hem of your blue sundress. You readily obliged, stripping down to just your underwear.

Rafe looked at you hungrily, eyeing your chest. "Fuckin perfect," he rasped. "Can't believe you've been hiding these tits from me."

He easily picked you up and threw you on the bed, shedding himself of his clothes save for his Calvin Klein boxers. Rafe climbed on top of you, burying his face in your chest and nipping at your breasts. You whimpered, which seemed to spur him on more as he soothed the bites with kisses.

He continued leaving a trail of kisses down your body until he reached your thighs. "Open up for me, princess," he murmured, running his fingers down your legs.

You tried to protest. "Rafe, I haven't shaved—"

"I don't give a shit. Lemme eat you out," Rafe demanded, his pupils blown out with lust.

You complied, spreading your legs open for Rafe. He pushed your panties to the side easily settled into his new position between your thighs, diving into your cunt like a starved man. He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it with a fervor that made you loudly gasp, bucking your hips.

"You're not going anywhere, sweetheart—you taste too fuckin good," Rafe mumbled, pinning your hips down with both hands. He flattened his tongue, lapping at your folds before lazily licking your clit. You whined, feeling a white-hot pressure down in your gut.

You felt Rafe's smirk against your inner thighs. "Gonna cum for me already?"

"Uh huh," you mumbled, too caught up in your pleasure to form a coherent response.

Rafe slid one of his hands down to your clit, pressing down on it and rubbing circles on it with your thumb. You moaned, arching your back off the bed and clenching your thighs around Rafe's head as you came undone for him.

Rafe removed himself from your cunt and sat back, licking his lips. "Goddamn, baby. Generette is a fucking moron to miss out on this."

You looked up at Rafe, your eyes instantly drawn to the straining erection in his black briefs. "See something you like?" he asked cockily.

Your cheeks grew warm. "I mean—I guess so," you bashfully replied

Rafe chuckled lowly. "You're so shy, princess. It's adorable."

You rolled your eyes. "Just—are you gonna fuck me or what?" you grumbled, your core throbbing with pent-up frustration.

Rafe's grin was devilish. "All you had to do was ask, baby."

He tossed his briefs to the side, revealing his thick, throbbing cock, its tip flushed an angry red. Your mouth went dry as you gaped at Rafe, just in awe of how a dick could be so...pretty.

"Fuck, I gotta see where Chase keeps the condoms," Rafe said, dragging a hand over his face.

"No need—I'm on the pill," you said, smiling shyly.

"Oh shit, are you actually getting some? Maybe you're more of a freak than I thought," Rafe teased, his dick twitching at your confession.

"It's to help regulate my periods, you perv," you said sharply. "Unfortunately, I'm still a sad little virgin."

Rafe's cheeks turned pink. "'m sorry, I didn't mean to come off like an asshole," he mumbled, sounding contrite.

"I just always imagined he'd be my first. That's pathetic, I know," you admitted, laughing bitterly. "When we were, like, fifteen, he and I made this dumb pact that if we were both still virgins by the time we graduated, then we'd sleep together. Obviously, that didn't happen."

Rafe's jaw ticked. He'd never been Generette's biggest fan, but you'd given him even more reasons to dislike the guy. You were sweet and sarcastic and beautiful—how could he not see this? How could he casually offer to take your virginity, not realizing that you'd given your entire heart to him?

"Gonna fuck you so good, you forget his name," Rafe growled, pushing himself inside of you. You moaned, enjoying the feeling of his cock inside you, stretching you out.

Rafe began thrusting into you, brushing up against your clit with his tip and setting every nerve in your body alight. "Fuck, Rafe—feels so good," you gasped.

Rafe lifted up one of your legs and put it atop his shoulder, allowing himself to plow even deeper into you. You mewled, feeling his tip all the way in your cervix. Your body tingled, legs trembling, and you came apart for Rafe again, creaming all over his cock.

Rafe pulled out, panting, his eyes fiery with desire. "Turn around for me and show me that ass," he ordered. You rolled over on your stomach and he hummed appreciatively, smacking your butt. "Fuck. You're like a work of art."

Your cheeks grew warm again; you were still unused to being desired like this. In the past, JJ had told you you looked nice, and you'd held on to those casual comments like they were love letters. But Rafe? He gazed at you as if you were Aphrodite, ready and willing to worship at the goddess's altar. You knew you didn't need a guy's validation, but damn if Rafe didn't make you feel beautiful right now.

Rafe slid back into you, fucking you faster, and grunted when your pussy tightened around him. "You're so fuckin tight and wet for me, princess. i love this sweet little pussy."

Rafe gripped your hips, his cock throbbing inside of you. "Gonna cum," he warned. "You ready for me to fill you up, baby?"

You clenched around him again, and Rafe chuckled. "Oh, you like that, yeah? Such a good girl for me."

Rafe let out another grunt as he released inside of you, ropes of his hot cum filling your pussy. Rafe pulled out slowly, admiring the way his creampie was leaking out of you.

You and Rafe lay next to each other, your chests heaving as you recovered. "Hey—thanks," you shyly said to him.

"For what?" Rafe asked, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

"For the sex, of course," you joked, causing Rafe to snort. "But also for breaking that spell over me. I wasted so much time pining over someone who never saw me as more than someone to play Mario Kart with."

Rafe kissed your collarbone. "He's an idiot," he mumbled. "But I'm actually glad. Because it meant I finally got to do this."

You laughed, beaming at Rafe. "Rafe Cameron. Do you have a crush on me?"

Rafe lifted his head up, his ears flushing bright red. "Shut up. Maybe I do, alright? It's not a big deal."

You looked at Rafe fondly. "You're kinda cute. I guess I'll keep you around."

Rafe lazily smirked at you. "I'm all yours, baby."

You got up to clean yourself, but Rafe grabbed you by the waist. "Where d'ya think you're going, huh?"

"Gonna clean off all this cum, thanks to you," you quipped.

Rafe’s mouth curled into a smug grin. “Nah, put on your panties and keep it inside of you for the rest of the night. Want you to remember who you belong to.”

You shivered, weirdly loving his possessiveness right now. You got off the bed and pulled your underwear back on, moaning a little at his sticky cum in your panties. The thought of walking around all night, still stuffed with his load, made your pussy throb.

“Now, cmon,” Rafe said, jumping to his feet and putting his clothes back on. “Get dressed—there’s a whole party out there that we’re missing.”

[iamthatonefangirl]

So I’m not completely sure how requests work but I NEED a fic where the reader like gets into an argument with the winter soldier about something small or big like how he never opens up to her (whatever you prefer) and then some HATE sex after (not really hate just frustrated yk)

disconnect - nsfw winter soldier

I received a few asks that inspired me to develop a story combining them. this is my interpretation of them.

pre-established relationship. if you're new here, there's a mention of a prior event.

disclaimer: fully consensual by both parties although not explicitly stated. dark/sad themes, similar to depictions of depression. read at your own discretion.

~~~

it's stupid, really.

the mud boot tracks all over the entryway when you get home. the huge disaster area the kitchen is.

is it really that difficult to not leave a mess everywhere?

you make your way to the bedroom and drop your bag somewhere on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed to chuck off your shoes and jacket.

you sit there for a moment, head buried in your hands.

the weight of your situation gets to you more often than not. a lot of those thoughts in your head go unsaid for a number of reasons, particularly because he doesn't have the emotional capacity to care, in your opinion.

is this really the life you thought you'd end up living?

if you wanted to quit working, you could. he brings in more than plenty.

and you'd never have to worry about being sexually frustrated a day in your life.

is that really the sum total of your relationship?

you let out a sigh.

you feel stuck.

~~~

he comes into the bedroom ten minutes later, fresh out of the shower, covered in water from head to toe minus the towel wrapped around his waist.

he goes straight for the bed, lying down on the fresh sheets, soaking them.

"seriously?" you ask, looking up at him, exasperated at this point.

he tilts his head in your direction and gives you a blank stare as though he has no clue what you're talking about.

you take a deep breath and shove down your anger. he's been gone for a week, cut him some slack, you tell yourself.

"everything go okay?" you ask.

you don't want to know the gory details, and he wouldn't tell you, anyways. his face contorts, giving you a disgusted look as though you're crazy for even asking.

he proceeds to shove his hands behind his head, closing his eyes to get some rest.

another deep breath.

"are you hungry?" you offer. the mess in the kitchen tells you that he's not, but you're seriously trying here.

he lets out a low grunt, which you take to mean 'no.'

"can you stay awake for five minutes to fucking talk to me?" you say, anger rising in your chest as you struggle to keep your head straight.

"not talking to you about work," he grumbles, not even opening his eyes.

"clearly, you're not talking to me at all! fuck, I mean, when do you ever?" you yell, standing and walking over to the side of the bed next to where he's laying.

in your anger, you grab his arm and roughly yank it out from under his head, surprising him. his eyes shoot open and he glares up at you as though you've just personally offended him.

"you never fucking talk to me! I- I don't even know if you like me! it's like you just live in my apartment so you can fuck me whenever you want!" you yell at him. your emotions are getting the better of you, your insecurities and your anger twisting in your head. you're completely helpless to stop your mouth from speaking them into reality.

not a word in response. his face is completely devoid of any emotion.

"I don't even know why I expect anything different from you," you scoff. "you're a heartless motherfucker. you don't even care about me."

you feel so empty inside. all the sacrifices you've made, all the times you've cried over the fact that you can't just be normal, all because of what he does for a living, who he is.

all while having to stomach the nausea of simply knowing why you have to keep him a secret.

it's too much to deal with anymore.

he watches as you drag an empty duffel bag out of the closet and begin throwing various items of clothing inside it. it takes a few moments, but it finally clicks in his head: you're leaving. and he doesn't know when, or if, you'll be back.

he stands, grabbing your arm as carefully as he can, stopping you from continuing to pack. "no. stay," he tells you. he sounds so calm, his voice is void of its usual sternness.

he's only calm because he's panicking inside.

you take his calm demeanor to mean that he genuinely does not give a fuck.

"get off me. I'm leaving," you tell him, pulling your arm away from his grasp. that's all you can say, because that's all you know right now. you have no plans for where you're going or when you're coming back.

if you're coming back.

you shove a few more things in your bag as your eyes tear up.

what has your life come to?

~~~

the door slams behind you on your way out, shaking the whole apartment. eerie silence follows.

no sounds of pans clattering in the kitchen. no music blaring while you shower. no keyboard clicking while you work. no more of your laughing as you watch videos on your phone.

no more you.

all there is is dead silence.

he used to live in the silence. he took comfort in it; he'd be able to hear a threat coming from a mile away as long as he lived in the silence. it was his way of protection, his entire way of life.

it doesn't have that comforting effect anymore.

because now?

he's alone.

now, alone, in the silence he once reveled in, he roams the apartment in contemplation. he sees everything he didn't see before.

the mess he left everywhere, destroying the effort you put in every day to keep a tidy home.

but more importantly? he sees the disconnect. the stark contrast between your carefulness and his tendency to act as a bull in a china shop opens his eyes to reality.

he always saw you as a team.

but now?

he realizes that you're not.

you're normal. he isn't.

he never could be.

~~~

your best bet for now is to go to a friend's place, you think. you sob your eyes out as you sit in the driver's seat of your car, and you come up with a lie that's at least semi-believable.

you take a few deep breaths as you click her contact on speed-dial.

"hey, so you'll never believe my luck," you begin, trying to hide your sniffling from the microphone. "my building is infested with rats. I don't know how long it'll be until they've dealt with it. at least a week, probably. do you think I could spend a few nights at your place?"

your voice is choppy as you speak, and it's clear you've been crying, but she doesn't question it. she gives you the 'okay' to come over, and you hang up quickly before the tears start again.

that's how you end up sleeping on her couch that night, sobbing silently into your hoodie as you try to determine what the hell you're supposed to do now.

for so long, you've put up with his bullshit, kept his secret, kept your mouth shut, all for one reason: you love him.

but he's not capable of loving anyone.

~~~

for a while, the feeling of isolation doesn't bother him. all he feels is indifference.

yet as he finally cleans up after himself, the ache in his chest begins. he almost wonders if he's having a heart attack; he's never felt this before.

yes, he has.

he freezes in place, the memory coming to him. he injured you, once, purely by accident. that's when he's felt this helplessness, this emptiness, this deep-seated pain in his chest.

guilt?

he's not sure.

he kneels on the cold hard tile of the entryway, not bothering to put on longer pants or a towel to protect his knees as he wipes up the mud he tracked inside. he doesn't deserve that comfort.

he lays in bed alone that night, mind empty. sleep never finds him.

the following morning, before the sun has risen, he makes a decision.

he opens his bank account and navigates to the most recent transfer, forwarding it back to the sender with one message: deal's off. busy.

~~~

the next morning, you wake up, still feeling terribly nauseous. you look in the bathroom mirror to find your eyes are puffy and bloodshot from crying.

you never should've gotten involved with a cold-hearted killer.

every bone in your body is saying to leave. get out of New York, quit your job, leave him and this whole life behind.

instead, you make a cup of coffee and force some yogurt down your throat before going to work.

you're up early, and don't care to deal with the traffic driving further into the city, so you might as well take the train.

~~~

he has absolutely no clue where you are.

he knows none of the addresses of your friends where you might have gone, not even a single one of their names.

if you didn't have to work, he wouldn't even be sure that you were still in the state.

work.

he doesn't even know the address of your workplace. he has a vague sense of the name of the company, how hard can it be to find?

so that's where he starts.

he camps out down a side street near your office, giving him a narrow field of vision to the entrance while staying hidden. it's the end of the workday, you should be coming out soon.

normally, scouting out a target is easy. he takes a short amount of time to watch them, determine their routines, and find the best course of action to take them out in the most efficient way possible.

there's always a plan, an end goal there. here?

he has no plan. there is no end goal.

for now, he needs to know where you're staying. so he watches and waits for you to come out of the one place where he can count on being able to find you.

he's not prepared for the pang of some unfamiliar emotion that he feels when he sees you come out of the building. you look exhausted; clearly, you didn't sleep last night, same as him.

you still look perfect.

he assumes you're heading to the parking lot, and he realizes he didn't think this far ahead. he doesn't have a fucking car, how is he supposed to follow you to find out where you're going?

he would never make this kind of bullshit mistake on a job.

he's scanning the area, trying to find the most inconspicuous car he can find that he thinks he might be able to hotwire-

you walk right past the parking lot.

he begins to trail you from across the street, mind working through all the possible answers as to where you're going. for now, his focus is keeping his eyes on you at all times.

he refuses to acknowledge the way his chest hurts even more as he follows you down the street and into the train station.

he hates when you take the train, hence why you always drive. to him, the train isn't safe. there's too many variables, too many things could go wrong. today, though, it works to his advantage.

all he can do for now is get on the train car behind you and wait to see where you get off at.

~~~

you're so tired, it's probably for the best you didn't drive today, lest you wanted to accidentally total your car by falling asleep at the wheel.

you want nothing more than to go home to him.

you don't. you get off the train and walk into the first bar you see.

it's after the workday, just past 6pm on a Tuesday, so it's packed, full of both blue- and white-collar workers in need of a drink.

you sit at the bar with the rest of the men as you all contemplate your life choices. you drink way too much, consuming more alcohol than is safe for you to have in your system while walking back.

oh well.

as you walk in the darkness, your head feels heavy, your body warm from the alcohol. you're being reckless, you know you are.

you don't have it in you to care. you feel like your entire life is being ripped apart at the seams, and it's all your fault. you're aware of the reality; you shouldn't ask for more than he can give. that's not fair to him.

no. this isn't fair to you.

~~~

he hates every fucking second of this. you're acting stupid, putting yourself in danger, getting drunk in public while operating under the assumption that you're all alone on these dark streets.

is this how you feel every day? do you feel alone even when he's there?

is he nothing more than a nuisance to you, a reminder of all your fears and all your lost dreams rolled into one?

at least he knows he's there to protect you.

to him, you were his savior.

but to you, he's nothing more than a ball and chain around your ankle.

his chest grows even tighter.

once you get inside the place you're apparently staying at, he relaxes somewhat. you're inside, you're safe.

that means nothing to him. to him, you're only safe within the confines of your own home. you're only safe when you're with him.

does he make you feel unsafe?

he finds another dark alley to hole up in. he's not going anywhere, not going home, not sleeping until you've got this figured out.

~~~

days go by. he learns your friend's schedule, learns the area, learns that you're drinking every day after work.

he knows he doesn't have the right to approach you. he'd lose you for good if he did, he thinks.

except on the fourth day of you being gone, after all these sleepless nights of him sitting on the cold, hard ground, you don't go into work. he watches your friend leave, but not you.

something's wrong.

in the back of his head, he hears your voice from your fight, if he could even call it a fight, saying,

"I don't even know if you like me!"

"you don't even care about me."

the words float around his mind, amplifying the tightness in his chest by 100 times.

that's it. he's done waiting, done watching you like you're a target, done pretending like you're both not miserable. he's done pretending he doesn't care.

~~~

you don't go into work on Friday.

you've spent all week ignoring your problems, ignoring the nausea in your stomach, drinking so much alcohol that you're lucky you don't pass out in the street, alone.

it's time to make a decision.

you don't get up from the couch until mid-morning, getting up to take a shower before heading to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

as you finish preparing your drink, staring down into the mug, you think you hear something in the distance. but the noise is so faint, you attribute it to your lack of sleep and food. you're fine, there's nothing there.

you hear it again, louder this time, and you turn towards where you hear the noise coming from-

from behind you, a hand slips over your mouth, and an arm wraps itself around your waist. you're about to panic when you hear the figure speak,

"it's me."

you let yourself relax against him. he scared the absolute shit out of you, making you fear for your fucking life, but you don't care. he's here.

but then your anger returns with a vengeance.

you put all your weight into throwing yourself forward, out of his grasp, and he lets go.

"how dare you!" is the first thing you say, and then you turn to face him.

woah.

if you thought you looked like shit from lack of sleep, it was nothing compared to how he looked.

you pause your yelling at him for a moment to take in the fact that he looks so tired he might be ready to collapse, that he looks like he hasn't showered or eaten in days.

you push past your worry and begin again, your anger boiling over as you continue yelling.

"how do you know I'm here? have you been fucking following me?"

he forces himself to speak.

"yes."

you scoff. of course he has.

"I'm not a child! I'm a fully grown adult, James!" you yell.

"then why the hell have you been acting like you're a goddamn child?" he yells back.

you've never heard him raise his voice like this before.

"you could have gotten yourself killed. you're lucky I was there. you did everything wrong, against how I taught you to keep yourself safe!"

your entire body is vibrating with the range of emotions you feel right now. you're so pissed off at him, but you've finally gotten him to speak to you. you hate that he's been watching you like his prey all week, but it means that maybe, in his eyes, you're worth losing sleep over.

you both stand there for a minute as you delay responding. your hair is soaking through your pajama shirt, which you realize as you stand there, is one of his t-shirts. your coffee is spilled everywhere from when he startled you, the mug flipped on its side on the counter.

you try to gather your thoughts to respond. you end up coming back to the one thing that you haven't been able to forget about all week, the one thing that breaks your heart more than any of it.

"you didn't even fight for me," you say quietly. you do everything in your power to take deep breaths, blinking your eyes quickly to stop the tears in their wake. "you didn't even fight for me to stay. you just let me go."

you give him the benefit of the doubt when he doesn't respond immediately. you know he needs to gather his thoughts.

you wipe your eyes a few times, listening to the silence, just praying that you mean enough to him that he'll respond.

"I'll never make that mistake again."

you've missed him so much, even in your rage and despair, that those words are all the reassurance you need to hear from him. he steps closer to you, slowly, waiting for your permission to approach.

you take in his appearance once more. he clearly hasn't eaten or slept in days, and he looks dirty. you connect the dots in your head: he hasn't even gone home, hasn't left your side once all week.

the idea of him following you all week pissed you off only minutes before. but now?

your tears spill from your eyes as you wrap your arms around his neck, embracing him as though he's your entire world.

he's never felt as relieved as he does when you cling to him. the aching in his chest finally begins to dissipate for the first time in a week.

you may be in some random apartment, but he's finally home.

he wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up. you get the hint and wrap your legs around his hips, holding onto him as he walks you over to the couch you've spent the last few days crying on.

he lays you down and begins to peel his shirt from your body, revealing every inch of your beautiful skin to him.

he knows has to show you how sorry he is, the only way he knows how.

he adjusts your positioning so you're sitting face forward on the couch, legs dangling over the edge, and he spreads your thighs as he gets to his knees in front of you.

it about takes your breath away.

this man, who is so possessive over you, so afraid of showing even a sliver of weakness or vulnerability, so against the idea of giving up any form of power, is on his knees for you in apology.

you know this isn't easy for him. this is the biggest display of trust you think you've ever seen from him, and your fears about not meaning anything to him begin to disappear.

you're the most important thing in his life. he wishes he had the words to tell you that.

he wraps his hands around the back of your knees, bringing you closer to him, and he pushes his tongue between your legs so softly.

his mouth is wet, and warm, and he hasn't eaten in days, but he'd rather you be the only thing he tastes for the rest of his life, anyways.

a few more involuntary tears spill from your eyes as he laves his tongue over you. you feel so sensitive, the combination of lacking his touch for so long and the emotion behind his actions is making you so much more conscious of his every movement.

he buries his tongue in you over and over again like it's his only mission in life.

he feels the entire lower half of his face, having gone unshaved for the last week, is soaked, covered in you. he hopes he leaves you with a mild rug burn between your thighs so you feel him for days afterwards.

you're so perceptive to his every move, you feel it distinctly when he begins to trace shapes over your clit.

A, E, S is all you make out.

James.

he's writing his name on your skin with his tongue.

you let out a whimper when you realize it, and your gentle hold on the back of his head tightens, pulling his face closer against your cunt.

"James," you whisper as he begins to work you faster, "please."

that's all it takes for him to push you over the edge. your thighs close on either side of his head, and he can mostly hear the way you whine his name as you come for him.

you barely have a second to relax your muscles before he's crowding you on the couch, repositioning you so you're laying underneath him.

his mouth begins to attack your neck, your rules against him putting hickeys on your neck be damned. and you gladly let him, you don't care right now.

he takes no time at all to shove the fabric of his pants out of the way, wrapping your legs around his hips once more, pushing himself down into you.

"fuck," you whisper at the stretch.

he continues his assault on your neck, marking you up and down all the way to your breasts, anywhere he can reach.

he bites back a groan every time you moan so perfectly, filling his ears, repeating his name every few thrusts.

but there's still something in the back of his head he needs you to know.

he doesn't stop, doesn't quit fucking you so beautifully as he brings his mouth to your ear.

"of course I like you," he admits so quietly, and his tone makes it sound like it's the most obvious thing in the world. you're brought back to the other night when you expressed your deepest vulnerabilities to him, and now, he's making up for what he should have told you then. "and of course I care about you."

you clutch him against you as tight as humanly possible until you're both letting yourselves go, feeling the comforting warmth as he releases inside you.

his body gives out, collapsing on top of you, exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of the week.

you finally feel tired too, more so than you have all week. it's as though your body is finally poised to truly rest now that he's with you again.

you can't sleep yet.

"take me home, James," you whisper, and he doesn't hesitate.

~~~

(guys as I'm writing this I'm about to cry)

yeah so I think I spent about six hours on this total y'all

masterlist

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[navybrat817]

Roosted

Pairing: Motocross!Steve Rogers x Motocross!Female Reader, Platonic Curtis and Female Reader

Summary: Steve falls for you more when you go off on your best friend.

Word Count: Over 1.5k

Warnings: Crush, longing, slight insecurities, swearing, nicknames, pissed off reader, Motocross!Steve Rogers (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: If you read Hardpack, you know why you're popping off. Oh, these boys. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated! ❤️

“So. What’s up with Everett?” Bucky shook his hair out when he took his helmet off and nodded to Curtis who sat a few feet away on the ground. Dirt never bothered him. “Seems a little broodier than usual.”

Steve took his helmet off, too, his brows furrowed. Curtis wasn't the chattiest racer, that honor went to Jake, but he was unusually quiet today before and after he hit the tracks. Steve would’ve thought he was angry from the scowl on his face, but his eyes told a different story. 

“He does,” Steve agreed. Did something happen at work? Was he okay? “I think he may have you and Levinson beat in the brood department.”

The brunette scoffed. “I’m not that broody, Stevie.”

“Yeah, your personality really improved once Spitfire waltzed into your life,” he half teased. Bucky was sure as hell a lot happier since he got his girl, which made him happy. “But I couldn’t tell you what’s up with Everett since he hasn’t really said a word to any of us today.”

He hit the track like he either had something to prove, or like he was trying to forget.

A knowing smirk crossed his best friend’s face. “You could always ask Daisy,” he said with as much subtlety as a brick to the face.

Clearing his throat when your beautiful face popped up in his mind, Steve did wonder if it would be worth asking. It would give him an excuse to talk to you since you were close to Curtis. His eyes narrowed and unease filled his stomach, but only for a moment. There was nothing to be jealous of since you and Curtis were just friends and Curtis said more than once you both saw each other as brother and sister.

Steve also had no reason to feel jealous since you weren't his girl. 

Well, not yet.

“Maybe,” he said, gripping his helmet tight. 

“C’mon. Just ask her.” Bucky nudged him. “And I don’t mean asking about Curtis. Bite the bullet and ask her out.”

Steve sighed. Growing up with Bucky, girls always paid attention to his best friend, and no one gave him the time of day. He was used to it until the pit lizards started throwing themselves at him, which he didn't want. You were different. He wanted you to notice him, and he wanted to take you out and treat you well. You deserved that.

Bucky nudged him again, snapping him out his thoughts. “Seriously. What have you got to lose?”

Everything.

He shook his head a little. “Maybe I can-”

“Everett, you ASSHOLE!”

Steve stiffened when he heard you yell and turned to look your way so fast, he nearly gave himself whiplash. Your beauty took his breath away, and seeing fire in your eyes had him falling for you more. It was hot enough for everyone to feel the burn. Ari had to pull Jake out of your path, both of them staring after you with a mixture of shock and concern as you stormed toward your best friend.

Bucky’s smirk slipped off his face, too, staring after you like everyone else. “Oh, she looks pissed.”

“Yeah, she does,” Steve said. You were one of the sweetest riders out there and hardly ever raised your voice. He was half tempted to stop you to see if you were okay, but he didn't when he saw the guilt written all over Curtis's face.

Whatever happened, your best friend likely deserved your wrath and Steve wasn’t about to stop you from unleashing it. 

Curtis shut his eyes once you got close enough. “Daisy…”

“Don’t you ‘Daisy’ me! Get up so I can kick your ass!” you demanded, yanking Curtis by the arm when he didn't move fast enough. 

“She sounds like Spitfire,” Bucky whispered with a wince. “I’m not kidding. I’m pretty sure she has said those exact words to me.”

“Shh,” Steve whispered back, not wanting to miss what was being said. It wasn't right to eavesdrop, wasn't right that any of them were, but he wasn't about to walk away. 

Curtis put his hands up. “Listen, I know you’re upset, and I get it,” he tried to reason with you. 

“Of course, I’m upset! What is wrong with you?! Why the hell would you go off on Princess the way you did?! She should've kicked you in the balls,” you snapped, smacking your best friend hard on the arm. The guys knew all about Princess since some of them overheard you recently teasing Curtis. His boss used to tear up the tracks until he retired. What the hell did Curtis say that had you so fired up? “I might kick you in the balls.”

Curtis instinctively covered his crotch. Steve was pretty sure half the guys watching did. “I said I was sorry.”

A bitter laugh crept from your throat. “Oh, you have not begun to say you're sorry. You are not only going to apologize again, but you are going to give her an explanation as to why you were an asshole beyond the fact that you were in a bad mood. Piss poor fucking excuse and you know it.” You poked his chest. Hard. Curtis didn't flinch, accepting every bit of your anger. “Apologize again. I'm serious. Do you understand me?”

“I understand,” he said. 

As angry as you were, you seemed to deflate just as quickly. “I’m so fucking disappointed in you, and you know I’m disappointed since I’m swearing so much.” You slowly shook your head when Curtis looked at the ground. “I just don't get it. You care about her, and I know you do, so why be an asshole?”

Bucky put a hand on Steve’s shoulder when he took a step forward. He thought he heard tears in your voice, and he wanted to comfort you. Bucky was right to stop him. You needed to finish your conversation with Curtis without him trying to rescue you.

“She’s too good for me,” he muttered. 

Steve frowned. Curtis wasn't a bad guy. Far from it. He was a hard worker, too. Why would he think he wasn’t good enough?

“With how you acted, yeah, she is,” you bluntly stated, making your friend’s head snap back up. “Oh, don't you dare stare at me like I just kicked a puppy. I’m being a best friend and telling it like it is.”

Steve smirked. He couldn't help himself. It took guts to call out someone you cared about. It was also nice that you were defending Princess so fiercely. 

Curtis clenched and unclenched his fists. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did, and you better fix it,” you said, kicking a bit of dirt on his boots. “If you don't, I really will kick your ass.”

“I know you will.” Curtis swallowed hard. “Do you really think she’s too good for me?”

There was a hint of a smile on your face, looking more like your normal self. “No I don’t. The only one who thinks she’s too good for you is you. So prove yourself wrong,” you replied, kicking a bit more dirt at him. “Okay, I’m done snapping at you. For now,” you added softly.

Curtis sadly chuckled. “I deserved it and more.”

You looked around, noticing the audience for the first time. “Show’s over, boys,” you teased, your gaze landing on Steve. Your usual smile was back on your beautiful face, and it made his heart race. “Hey, Champ.”

“Hey, Daisy,” he smiled back. He felt a sense of pride since he was the only one you called out. Hell, Hal had his shirt off and you didn't spare him a glance. 

You giggled, but quickly stopped when you pointed at Curtis. “Text me after you apologize to her.”

“I will,” he promised. 

Everyone watched as you walked away, stunned silent by what they just witnessed. 

Hal was the one to finally speak up. “Need some ice for that burn, Everett?” he smiled. 

Curtis snarled, but he didn't look at all embarrassed. If anything, he looked determined after your verbal ass kicking. “Don’t you need to pose in front of a mirror, Carter?”

Hal glanced down at his washboard abs. “I’d rather pose in front of Belle’s camera.”

Laughter filled the air, the atmosphere back to normal. Steve hardly paid any attention since was still staring after you. Beautiful and sweet with a protective streak. He had it bad, and anyone with eyes could see that.

“So, when are you asking her out?” Bucky asked loud enough for Curtis to hear. 

Steve locked eyes with Curtis who had an unreadable expression on his face. He didn’t think the man would stop him from asking his best friend out, but what if he did? Curtis could object all he wanted, but Steve was a determined man. He was a man who would treat you well, too.

Any worry faded when he got a nod of approval.

“I’ll ask her as soon as I see her again,” Steve promised.

Steve would hopefully get his girl, and maybe Curtis would get back in good graces with his girl, too.

These men need to get their asses in gear. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

it’s always so fun to see suguru interact with literally anyone because it’s so clear how intentionally he presents himself depending on who he’s speaking to. and his values always bleed out through his interactions in one way or another … he’s polite towards authority figures / adults and finds it important to address them with respect but only if they’re actually deserving of said respect (child killers = generally No. LMAOO …) like he lectured satoru about using watashi or boku when speaking to tengen but was also on board with fighting them if it turned out riko wanted to live. he isn’t a kiss ass, his own morals ultimately override the importance he places on age hierarchies, he just recognizes the importance of politeness (or presenting yourself as such) = taking care not to step on anyone’s toes, especially as a young person, especially in a society where age matters a Lot,,, anyway suguru has a distrust of adults and it shows through his masking. because yes he’s respectful towards them but he’s also rocking his customer service smile the Whole time. his own values have a lot to do with Respect and Order and etc; like he cares about that kind of tradition but do i think he trusts the judgment of the adults around him ??? well . No. yaga is the only adult in the series that suguru feels safe enough around to act childish with (to . someee degree) (see also: him joking about yaga going senile and following it up with ’well jokes aside ^_^’ LMAO….) and even that bond ends up broken, presumably during his deterioration. he calls him a muscle-brained moron in jjk 0 and i don’t think he was putting up a front in that scene LOL ,,, he ultimately dislikes yaga’s social ineptitude (even though they both act more through subtlety than directness yaga is like ,,,, incapable of having tact. lol. i hate him sorry anywayyyy). all this to say suguru is a respectful boy towards adults but i do think he distrusts them more than anyone.

with his seniors in jujutsu high i think his respect is more sincere but it’s hard to tell since we only see him speaking to yuki when he’s … too depressed and suicidal to joke around, even if he wanted to. but i don’t think he would have even if he could. yuki is not only his senior but also strong(er than him… lol) other than that we only see him interacting with utahime, and this interaction is really interesting and telling because he acts really condescending towards her without realizing it. i also think you can read his initial words (”it’s not nice to pick on the weak, satoru.”) <- as playful in itself if not a little mean. which is weird because she is very much his senior, and it does make me wonder if suguru ultimately considers strength to be more important than age ,,,, in the sense that like . well. He’s the senior as far as ability goes. utahime is also their friend ,,, kind of . at least shoko’s friend so that could play a part !! but yeah i do think suguru would treat a senior with genuine respect, at least provided that they’re strong — he is a respectful boy and i believe it’s more than just for appearance sake, albeit still calculated (i said that people need to Earn his respect and i stand by that but i also think he’s more than capable of sucking up if that’s what the situation demands …. we never see him in that scenario, though, so i can’t say for sure but i would assume so. there’s a line, though.)

then we have his interactions with his juniors (<- or ppl who are younger than him in general) which are like . soooooo charming so very charming. haibara is the most obvious example and most clear-cut evidence that sugu has a senpai complex LOL (only half-kidding i do think he’s a little sick about it) because he pampers him … he’s not overly coddling but he’s so obviously fond, he buys him drinks, he puts effort into being a good senpai. he takes age hierarchies seriously in Many ways — there’s a responsibility that comes with being older that he doesn’t neglect. that being saiddd the riko scenes are super funny because unlike haibara she is Rude and mouthy even though suguru is older AND was kind towards her from the jump and his response to that is to punish her with satoru LMAO ….. and he’s playful with her in this scene !!!! even a little mean lol. and part of that is satoru’s influence but not by a large margin i do think he was genuinely irked by her lack of respect LOL ….. but then, when she finally opens up to him towards the end and confesses that she wants to live he softens !!! considerably!!!!!! and he’s back in senpai mode. ”let’s go home, riko-chan.” <- he sounds so brotherly here ……. that’s only me reading into the english phrasing tho…… anyway

kuroi is another good example i shouldn’t forget her … it’s kind of a similar situation as utahime actually because when he walks up to her and says ”well, aren’t you strong?” i do perceive it as slightly condescending. probably not on purpose? but again, kuroi is a case where she may be older but not Stronger — ANDDD kuroi is a non-sorcerer. he looks down on them by nature even if he doesn’t really get that himself lol. but he’s still kind and respectful to kuroi, considerate too (like telling her that she’s riko’s family ….) <- this has nothing to do with her age though it’s him being kind. because he is kind. i genuinely don’t think he realizes he’s looking down on someone until others point it out to him. AH BUT DO NOTEEE he is a lot less silly with kuroi than riko and i do think that part is an age thing. like he speaks to kuroi fairlyyyy casually ? but he’s soft-spoken and well-mannered and more mature-seeming. <- which. as has been established. is something suguru just does when it comes to adults. he doesn’t want to be seen as disrespectful or socially unaware (i should’ve mentioned this when i was talking about yaga before since i called him socially inept lolol. but i think it’s very safe to say that social awareness is really, really important to suguru, i’d personally call it a core aspect of his character … socially speaking he’s very intelligent and i think that’s something he takes pride in — he knows how he is perceived by the world, he knows how to give off a certain impression, he knows how to please people and keep the waters calm. he knows how to act according to what the situation demands from him; he’s prepared.) with adults he respects / admires i would guess that he doesn’t want to be seen as childish, either…. which he has no problem being when it comes to satoru LMAO.

and well that brings me…,, to satoru who i was going to focus on from the start but this post went out of my hands cough cough . i just wanted to talk about how his interactions are so interesting because it’s sooo obvious when he is and isn’t putting on a front, since we see how suguru is with satoru. shoko too but still mainly satoru. like he’s SILLY …. he’s petty and he gets irritated and pulls out his curse to teach him a lesson and grumbles about being put on the same mission as him …. (also the cute voice he makes in ep1 when he’s walking up the stairs and satoru teases him i do NOT remember what that was about but you get what i’m trying to say ……) he can be silly. he can act like a Boy and it’s almost exclusively with satoru — someone who is his age, his equal in strength and age <- Most of all. someone who does Not at all have the social awareness suguru does. someone who has opened his heart to him. i don’t think suguru would’ve acted as silly as he does in hidden inventory if satoru wasn’t a part of his class. he would still feel comfortable being annoying LMAO and a little silly too ,,, but not childish to the extent that he is with satoru. he laughs and grumbles and gets frustrated and flips off the screen when satoshoko take that picture after he loses at the arcade game …… suguru is unmasked here. there’s nothing to worry about, and no reason to view himself through the hyper-vigilant lens he’s grown accustomed to bearing in mind. he’s the moral compass of the trio, and the most responsible and ”proper” one, but with satosho he gets to enjoy being a troublemaker too. (i feel bad for singling shoko out because she’s sooo important to him and he feels very at ease around her too evidently ,, but there’s no denying satoru brings out a specific range of emotions from suguru that no one else is privy to).

anyway it MOVES me . so bad . his range of emotions is so delicious and i love that he acts so differently depending on who he’s speaking to. this is honestly even More obvious in jjk 0 because he is full on Faking his emotions and pretending to be good-willed rather than like … putting on a front, or sort of ”half-lying” or framing himself in a certain light …,, you get what i’m saying. cult!geto isn’t just masking, he’s putting on a performance. and he drops it as SOON as the non-sorcerers turn their backs on him. then he’s acting silly with manami (and i really don’t think he’s putting on a front in any scene where he’s alone with his family !!!!! he’s a silly man !!!!!!!! he loves them a lot and is obviously sincere with them, esp nanamimi — the flashback scene on the rooftop is honestly the most unguarded we ever see suguru other than some shots of akari.) ….. he puts on a performance with yuuta but i do think he seriously wanted to recruit him. and he was honest about his world-view; transparent, if nothing else ,, then satoru shows up and he’s full on forcing himself to be silly. because as soon as he’s back home he watches the sunset with the saddest pair of eyes and when satoru finds him nearly dead he immediately decides that he wants to ”die clean” (<- this is how the light novel puts it), only because it’s him and satoru at the end. and in this scene, especially the very last line where he’s like .., about to cry he is unguarded. i think cult!geto is really scared to be seen as vulnerable by gojo. but he just sort of crumbles; both before he dies, and in the afterlife of chapter 236. he’s snarky and sort of trying to come off as nonchalant in either one but in both cases satoru’s sincerity kills his attempt. sorry this somehow devolved into a stsg discussion ,,,, though it was kind of that from the beginning too.

[velvetvexations]

This? After over a MONTH?

What a stunning example of the failures of radical feminism, which is to say that the audience one cultivates as a radfem can rocket someone to being the most talked about published author in the field for a hot second and then immediately throw that same person away the second she's nice to a group they don't like. Telling trans women to kill themselves they let slide, they all do that, but the second they catch wind their icon is friends with a detransitioner, suddenly really big "transfeminist" blogs are breaking the One Sacred TRF Law to reblog a callout post about a trans woman over it.

Like, seriously. I take a lot of effort to limit how much specific people are brought up or responded to on this blog, regardless of how much I like them or the things they believe. After carelessly and callously responding to an old post by a much smaller blog than me and causing them distress, I began implementing policies about the way I interact with people on Tumblr to minimize the potential for incidents to occur while still being able to discuss things happening out in the aether as a moderately popular blog.

Yet now people like txttletale, with a million times more influence than me, and who insist you can never do callouts of trans women, even if you know for a fact the trans woman did something deeply evil and harmful, because it's just so inherently transmisogynistic an action, have finally been roused to do exactly that. Seems to have worked well, too. Is this the 'social murder' of trans women TRFs are always talking about TMEs doing? it's been stunningly effective at poisoning the well so far, if these numbers are anything to go by.

And hell, the except they dug up from T/R/F is honestly pretty bad! I mean, celebrating the detransition of a trans man as a step to the road to a gender-free utopia? Wild! But I don't even think the other radfems actually had a problem with that, that's just something they can disingenuously use to back up the adjacency to a despised group in and of itself. The callout post kinna skips over the alarming stuff to talk about how the detransitioner in question oversteps her bounds as a tee-em-ee.

Plus, like, they read the book before right? They read it? While they were running around trying to force telling people to read the author into being a meme catchphrase? Surely they read the damn thing and came across that passage before, yes?

Maybe not. This is the crowd that cares more about the idea of theory than what the books they stack into Jenga towers actually say. Recently one gave me a book to read and insisted they wouldn't give me a page number for the relevant information because that would be "out of context" and I had to read it all, which is so far from how citing academic text works that I literally laughed out loud.

In all honesty, this has to be without a doubt the perfect dissection of how radical feminism is a failure and the worst possible foundation for any transfeminist theory. It really is amazing how just two people, and with so little effort, can reveal an ideology to be nothing more than a doomed, irrelevant, niche fandom on dying social media websites. It's almost some kinna miracle, because what mortal hands could do the job with such clockwork precision?

I'm sorry, this post has probably gone on way too long. I tend to ramble sometimes and there's just so much to analyze with this situation. But I guess, to put it as succinctly as possible, what I mean to say here is basically this:

Announcing a new podcast centered on radical transfeminism!

@taliabhattwrites and @dolphin-diaries unveil their evil lesbian radical transfeminist agenda: to end both Manhood and Discourse with a single podcast. Cracked Ivory is an examination of popular feminist discourses and the scholarship (both good and very, very bad) that spawned them!

In addition to our website at crackedivory.com, you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever else you listen to your pods.

Please support us on Patreon!

[ceoandslutler]

sebastian's memories, his form and the perceived "lie of omission" in chapter 215

many people have been picking up on how he purposely avoided giving a straight answer and how he may be hiding information from o!ciel but i would like to propose an alternative reading...

i (personally) don't think he would hide information from ciel anymore; not even because i think he 'cares' but because i think he's scared of UT and is taking everything more seriously now. more importantly, the first time he 'lies' (hides info) in the manga, we find out he can't 'lie' when he's directly asked a question and that's what ciel does:

in the new chapter (215), we found that sebastian only created this form for ciel which leaves us with four to five possibilities on what's going on and how modri must've recognised him:

1) modri recognised him from something other than his physical form (which people have mentioned) and sebs genuinely just forgot him because it was a long time ago/only a night long.

2) this is a crack theory but sebastian has facial blindness and doesn't realise how all his forms have the same face (likely considering all the costumes he put on for ciel during the negotiation looked the same) but at the same time, is sebastian really that stupid? (i mean kinda)

3) sebastian and modri met during this contract's time (which is possible since we do not see the better half of 1888, nor do we see much of 1887 or 1886, the year the contract was made).

4) genuinely mistook him for someone else (again possible) or UT made modri think sebastian is the demon/person who wronged him.

5) sebastian does not remember what all of his past forms looked like so cannot accurately tell whether he's ever made a form like this before or not. this will also explain why he did not answer about his previous contractors being devoured or not—he can't answer accurately if he does not know. this would also tie in with possibility 1. modri remembers sebastian but sebastian does not remember him. this would also explain strange things like sebastian remembering how to waltz but not being able to brew tea (as we see in his memories in the luxury liner arc), he can speak languages but did not remember ever having a single friend (which a lot of people found odd... personally i don't find it that strange but again, it's a good point, nobody ever wanted to befriend him?) all this to say one thing...

i think each of sebastian's bodies houses different memories and/or skills.

to visually represent this, i made an example chart:

say he wanted to contract a noblewoman living in a sultanate in the middle east then surely he'd go for spare body 2, or if he wanted to contract a travelling merchant in eastern europe then surely he'd go for spare body 1.

these are just possible body memories, obviously we don't know what sebastian's other bodies are like. but we do know one thing:

sebastian has to use a mask to become jeremy in the murder arc and he never changes his face when he's disguised. like these are all the same body in different costumes:

and they probably all remember schönbrunn palace and how to waltz.

to put it simply, he only has fragments of disjointed memory in each of these bodies because he readily swaps them out. he said he only took this form for ciel and it might technically be true, he might've taken on this body with this hairstyle and this clothing for o!ciel but he might've had this same body in a contract many many years ago... he might just not remember the contract in detail or he doesn't consider the body a unique 'form' but rather the body, hairstyle, clothing and role altogether make his 'form' (remember he spawns in with clothes/hair). is it truly impossible for one to escape from a demon's contract in kuro? for example, say your contractor kills themself, would sebastian be allowed to eat them or would they become a reaper? perhaps he genuinely doesn't remember. look at sebastian's cinematic record in the luxury liner arc (which UT reallyyy wanted to see):

there's no way UT decided to see the record from the moment they met, this body might just house memories from this point, and nothing before that. again let's visualise it into how each one of sebastian's humanoid 'bodies' could work, cinematic record-wise:

each time a contract ends, the memories of it end too, obviously there can be fragments/'episodes' remaining (which is why he can remember places he's been like a palace or a sabbath or concepts like witches, reapers, etc...) but it's also important to remember that things like language, dance, musical skills (like playing violin or piano) aren't stored in the same place our normal memories are stored (which is why amnesiacs will often forget everything but will still be able to speak, have muscle memory in dancing or playing piano or other instruments, even video games!) and this is because of how memory works, in branches.

what we see in black butler's 'cinematic records' are people's episodic memories. they contain one's first hand experiences.

sebastian's memories such as language fall under his semantic ability for example 'cat in french is chat' while his procedural memory is viennese waltz steps. this is also why the simple bizarre dolls that took over the liner had the memory to walk, jump and swim (sebastian even pointed out how they use each other to climb). this isn't to say sebastian is a bizarre doll, but he has a cinematic record just like humans and bizarre dolls do. as we know, the more complex doll of derrick arden had the ability to say a phrase about tea, he was drawing on his semantic memory 'this object is a cup of tea' and 'this smell is pleasant' in order to speak. on the other hand, vice principal agares had many 'episodes' meaning his episodic memory had started working and he remembered who he was (a teacher at weston college), that's why he could form opinions, teach, etc... though it limited his procedural memory (likely due to the brain damage of how he was killed) which is why he kept falling over. while the most complex of the dolls, r!ciel and doll, have full retention of past memories and are able to form new ones adding onto their records.

so let's run over what my theory is:

1. sebastian has multiple bodies he uses for contracts, unclear how many or how they look (can he produce infinite bodies or does he just rotate/reuse a few? if so, does he remember when he does reuse them?) but they are used for different contractors and he believes this form* is exclusive for o!ciel.

*though we don't know if he considers this body the form or the body AND his clothes/hair/role.

2. each of these bodies have separate memory systems e.g. one body's procedural memory could contain 'how to brew tea' while another could contain 'how to do the polka', another body can speak 'xyz dialect of french' while one can speak 'xyz slavic language'.

3. every one of sebastian's 'bodies' has its own cinematic record and they fade every time he 'ends' a contract/his record (explains why his record starts w/ meeting o!ciel). the memories remain if they are procedural/semantic and he has vague episodic memory (like the bizarre dolls' "episodes") which is why can remember places he's gone to but can't remember who he's met there (evidenced by the fact he doesn't know how many people could bear a grudge against him; the people he was counting were probably from the last 3 years he'd spent with o!ciel, not even previous contracts LMAO)

with all this said, there are 3 possibilities remaining for how modri knows him:

1. sebastian is telling the truth, this is the first time he's using this body (and my theory about the bodies is either completely wrong or sebastian uses the same organic matter to make each body which is how the procedural/semantic memories remain while his episodic record gets mostly wiped out everytime he starts a new contract) and modri is seeing something we don't see and that's how he's recognising sebastian.

2. sebastian does not remember using this body before but he has (which is why the body has semantic and procedural memory of how to speak and dance but no episodic memory of friendships despite certain semantic/episodic/declarative memories like 'i have been to schönbrunn palace' remain) and he's met modri before however his episodic record has faded away so he can't remember him, this possibility means that modri is recognising sebastian based on his appearance.

3. (most likely) sebastian does not consider each body a different form but rather each body with independent styling is a different form to him (most likely) and he doesn't remember his past contracts/people he met in this body because of his cinematic record being restarted with every new contract.

anyway, thoughts?

[cinnamon7girl7]

"THROUGH THE SILENCE, I WILL RETURN TO YOU – PART 3."

♡ — Summary: I thought I had it all — Satoru’s love, Megumi’s warmth, and Suguru’s trust. But even the strongest love can break when truth hides behind silence. One betrayal changes everything; pain drives them apart, yet memories and a love still alive won’t let them go. Now, Satoru fights for a second chance, and she must decide if, after all the hurt, love is still worth it. ♡ — Author's note: This is the third part of this story. I recommend reading the first two chapters (one and two) so it makes more sense. I've already started writing the second epilogue, which I’ll post once the main story is finished. Without further ado, here’s the next one. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: The Truth on Your Lips

The sky was covered with clouds when you went out to look for Megumi. You didn't know why, but everything felt different. The wind blew with a sadness that seemed to reflect what you had inside. Something told you that today was going to hurt.

For days, Megumi's words had been spinning in your mind:

"Why don’t Satoru and Suguru look at you when you talk to them?"

At first, you didn't pay much attention. You thought it was just his imagination or a child’s joke... but you were wrong.

That same day, you saw Satoru talking to Suguru in a low voice. When you approached, both of them fell silent. They smiled at you, yes, but it wasn't the warm smile you were used to. It was forced, uncomfortable.

It hurt.

—"Is everything okay?" you asked.

—"Yes, love," Satoru answered quickly. Too quickly.

Suguru didn't even look at you. He just mumbled something about needing to leave and disappeared.

That night, when you lay down, he hugged you like always. But you couldn't sleep. You remembered so many beautiful moments with him.

When they first took care of Megumi together when he was sick.

When Megumi found you both asleep on the couch and snuggled up with you.

The afternoons when Satoru cooked with you, flour on his face and love in his eyes.

His voice when he would say, "My home is you."

But now... now you felt out of place in your own home.

The next morning, you confronted him.

—"Satoru," you said firmly. "We need to talk about something I've been feeling for a long time."

He blinked, nervous.

—"What do you mean, love? Did something happen to Megumi?" he said, trying to change the subject.

—"You know exactly what I mean, Satoru. What's going on with you and Suguru? Why is it that every time I ask you something, you don't look me in the eyes? What are you hiding from me?"

Satoru lowered his gaze. He never did that. He always looked you in the eyes. Always.

That silence shouted everything.

—"I can't tell you," he murmured.

—"Why?" you raised your voice a little.

—"It's better if you don't know," he said in a desperate tone. "But everything will be fine, don’t worry, love. How about you go shopping? Take the card, buy whatever you want, have fun." He extended his American Express card.

And then, you saw red.

—"Are you seriously trying to buy me with your money?" you shouted, offended. "I just want you to tell me what's going on with you. You've been acting so strange for months. I tried not to say anything for the sake of our family, but I can't anymore. Tell me the truth."

—"Love, please don't complicate things more. Just accept it," he said, giving you his best convincing look.

He came closer, but you took a step back.

—"I can't trust you if you don’t trust me, Satoru."

And then, his voice broke.

—"It's complicated... I can't... tell you."

—"It's fine, I see you don't trust me," you said, turning to go to your shared bedroom. "I think I need some space... I'm going to a hotel to think things through. Don't worry, I'll take Megumi with me so you don't have to lie to him either," you said, walking away.

—"...The Gojo clan is forcing me to marry someone," he whispered. "I've been attending their meetings to get them off our backs, but I promise I wasn’t going to do it. I just wanted them to leave us alone, and that was the only way I could think of to make them stop,"—he said, trying to justify himself.—"But please don’t leave. Don’t leave me. I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have hidden it from you."

When he said all that, you stopped walking. It felt like a punch to the stomach. You realized that all the meetings where he came back tired or upset were because of that. It hurt that he hadn't trusted you. For all these years, you had trusted him blindly, and you thought it was the same for him.

You felt like a stranger with Satoru. You didn’t know what was true or a lie anymore. You felt the crack between you and him growing wider. You didn’t want this to happen. Satoru was one of your reasons for living, along with Megumi, and you didn’t want something so hard to build to be destroyed so easily.

But it was already too late.

—"I can’t... do this right now," you said, trying to stifle a sob. "I need time to think things through."

—"No... please, don’t leave... forgive me, please."

—"Understand that I can’t trust you."

Satoru fell to his knees.

—"Please... don’t leave me. I can't imagine my life without you... without us... without Megumi."

But you were already in your room, your soul shattered and your heart in pieces.

The sound of the door closing resonated like thunder inside the house.

Satoru didn’t move. He stayed on his knees, hands covering his face, as if he could erase the pain. As if he could change what had just happened

The house was silent. All that could be heard was the echo of your heavy breathing as you walked down the stairs, suitcase in hand. Every step hurt. Every step felt like a betrayal to yourself, but you knew there was no other option.

As you walked, memories crashed into your mind with force.

The time Satoru took you to the lake just to watch the stars and tell you that in another life, he would choose you again.

The times when he listened to you in silence, complicit, knowing what you felt without you saying a word.

The time Megumi ran to you shouting, "Mom!" for the first time, and Satoru cried more than you.

It was all falling apart.

Satoru got up, stumbling, and went after you.

—"Love, wait! Please, just listen to me! Give me a chance to explain everything!"

You didn’t turn around.

—"Explain? Now? After lying to me for so long?"

You turned, finally, and looked him straight in the eyes. His were red, broken.

—"It's not just about what you did..." —you said, your voice low, broken—. "It's about what you chose not to tell me."

—"It was to protect you... you know better than anyone what they would do just to force me..." he repeated, almost in a whisper.

—"You weren’t protecting me, Satoru! You didn’t love me enough to trust me!"

Your voice cracked. The tears were already running, unstoppable.

He tried to hug you, but you took a step back.

—"No," you murmured. "I can’t keep going like this. I can’t love with fear. I can’t live waiting for the next lie. I don’t know if I can keep trusting you."

Satoru stood still.

—"Is this the end?" he whispered.

—"This…" —you took a breath, swallowing your sob—. "This is a pause. For me. Because if I stay... we’ll end up hating each other."

And without saying another word, you turned around and left.

The door slammed behind you. And in that instant, Satoru collapsed once again on the floor, his face covered in tears, not knowing how to fix the situation, whispering your name over and over. He remembered every moment when you asked if he was okay or if he needed help.

Suddenly, his phone started ringing. Reluctantly, he answered.

—"Good afternoon, Mr. Gojo, we are calling to inform you that the jewel you requested is ready."

Satoru felt worse when he saw the contact name on the call. It was from the jewelry store, where he had ordered a beautiful ring with which he was going to propose to you.

[bvnneyrabbet]

Something I've been noticing is that quite a lot of people outside of the Forsaken fandom are bashing on Forsaken fans for simply watching or interacting with classic/niche roblox stuff that had been featured in Forsaken.

Here's some of my examples.

I once watched an old Roblox machinima from I think around 2015 with Shedletsky and Builderman in it. It was random and funny, and when I went to look in the comments I saw one comment that went something along the lines of:

"I hope the forsaken fans don't get to this stuff," and it read in a very snarky and condescending way. Like, pardon? Do you not want Forsaken fans to be interested in old Roblox? Do you not want them to know more about the characters featured in Forsaken, or are you too purist for that?

Just today I found out about the origins onto where the Geometry John Doe skin was from, and it came from a roblox ARG by the name of DeivyDoesTutorials33. I found one comment saying that they came from Forsaken and wanted to catch up on the series, reading:

"Came from Pwned and Forsaken and just caught up, but I wanna say I ABSOLUTELY ALREADY ADOOOOORE SERIES. please continue when you can this is so interesting and cool to watch!!!!!!"

And one of the replies of that comment read:

"PACKGOD HUMBLE THEM FOR TIS NOOB FORSAKEN COMMENT, pwned is cool though"

I know that reply was likely sarcastic malice, but seriously, do you not want people to be interested in content that was featured in Forsaken? Do you want them to go unknowing, and make the same mistakes that happened when Dream Game/Frozen Soul was featured in Forsaken?

The reason why Frozen Soul's characters, Nashatra, Eunoia, and Mafioso were confused for being Forsaken characters is due to Forsaken being extremely popular and Frozen Soul being way more niche and obscure, also something to note is that Forsaken is a very young game, with the March 18th incident only happening when Forsaken was 3 months old.

And this issue isn't even just with Roblox stuff, it's also happening in the Limbus/Project Moon community, with people in the fandom essentially stereotyping the Forsaken fandom. I may not be interested in Limbus, but I have seen a few tiktoks about it that were completely unrelated to Forsaken, but in the comments I've seen Project Moon fans just talking shit about Forsaken.

Yes, Forsaken does have a very iffy fandom, but listen. The issues with not just it's fandom but it's PLAYERBASE is due to many environmental factors, and it's not Forsaken's fault for it to be that way, but it can change but you're just not letting them change.

Forsaken is a very popular game, which means that people from other games, specifically competitive and toxic games such as TSB are gonna flock to Forsaken and misunderstand it entirely. From what I've seen, people who join Forsaken from those games see Forsaken as a competitive battle-type game, when in reality Forsaken is a survivors VS killers game.

Also, I've seen people from PCX bash on Forsaken too, one of my most recent examples is someone leaving the Forsaken fandom due to it's toxicity, and someone in the comments saying they should join the PCX fandom instead since they're leaving. It read very condescendingly and the best I could put it would be some religious person at your doorstep unannounced trying to indoctrinate you.

If you see someone leaving a certain fandom you don't like and you immediately start yelling at them, pointing at a flashy sign saying that they should instead join your "better" fandom is a really shitty move.

On the fandom side it's different, as when it comes to fandom it focuses on the characters and lore rather than the game. Some core aspects that happen in literally any fandom, not just "the bad ones" are; woobification, sexualization, mischaracterization, shipping, and unfortunately proshipping as much as I hate it.

Shipping is not a problem at all, and woobification is an internalized infantilization that's mainly irrational. Many people mistake shipping as a purely sexual thing, when in reality shipping is much more complex than that. I do not think they should fuck or kiss, they should be suffering intimately together and find comfort in the literal purgatory they're stuck in.

Mischaracterization is also something that happens with woobification, as woobification also causes mischaracterization and vice versa.

Elliot's mischaracterization makes him out to be a hotheaded individual who hates everyone, Two Time's mischaracterization either makes them out to be a twink who needs protecting or an insane foaming-at-the-mouth psychopath who would kill everyone, and 007n7's mischaracterization makes him a frail twink.

All of these are far from canon, when their actual personalities and lore are much deeper than that. I also think mischaracterization is also mixed with sexualization, as many artworks of Two Time that I've seen make them obviously sexualized and frankly make them look like a prostitute, with weirdly prominent boobs or thighs. It's not an issue if you give them a big chest or thighs, but it's an issue if you sexualize it.

Sexualization in fandom has been prominent ever since fandom began to exist, and it's not an issue unless it starts to intermingle with one's actual perception of a character. It's fine to say that 007n7 looks hot and that you'd fuck him, but it's an issue if you make that sexual aspect his entire being.

And of course, proshipping. I really do not like proshipping due to not just outside perception but also due to personal reasons that I will not disclose. Proshipping is an issue in my eyes, as even if it's fictional and "just pixels" it's still the romanticization of immoral things, and these things can also effect reality whether you like it or not.

I don't want to go on a whole rant about proshipping, but it's safe to say that every single fandom that you can think of has proshipping or just proshippers in it, and the Forsaken fandom as a whole do not support proshipping and you can even get banned in the discord and game for proshipping.

Also, have you ever heard of 007e7, as in the real person? You've likely heard that he left roblox due to a certain incident. So what happened? An adult proshipper made proship art of 007e7 and an actual minor and posted it in 007e7's discord server, which in turn made 007e7 leave the roblox community entirely. The Forsaken devs are supporting 007e7 and the victim due to this from what I've heard.

Something I know that's going on in the Forsaken fandom in a very specific part of it are a group of people trying to make the spawn cult a real thing, which is incredibly bad. There's a whole video going off of it if you're interested as I'm getting tired writing this. The Forsaken devs as well as the fandom absolutely do not support this, and you can get banned in both the discord and the game.

I presume as to why this is going on is due to Forsaken's large collection of neurodivergent, impressionable, and mentally unwell and unstable people. And I'm saying this as one myself. People like these often latch onto certain aspects of something they like and turn it into delusion.

I once did this with an older friend I once idolized and it was bad, but I eventually stopped interacting with them due to something they did. While my situation wasn't extreme, it was still pretty bad.

I feel sympathy to the people who are stuck in the spawn cult group, as it is incredibly toxic.

Now, for the Forsaken fans who confuse characters like c00lkidd, 007n7, or Shedletsky for their Forsaken counterparts. This is a smaller yet still prominent thing that's going on with some Forsaken fans, but it is slowly dying down.

This is when some people mistake characters outside of Forsaken like c00lkidd as a child. And this is also a similar issue to a general fandom issue, which is some people not just in the Forsaken fandom but also in other fandoms applying their own headcanons to characters or mistaking their own headcanons for canon. One of my examples are people saying that the Forsaken 1x1x1x1 is Shedletsky's child, when in reality 1x1x1x1 is the manifestation of Shedletsky's hatred, making their ship a mirrorship and not incest.

If you see a Forsaken fan who confuses a character like c00lkidd to be a child outside of Forsaken, such as hacker c00lkidd/007n7 or TR:UD c00lkidd, let them know that only the Forsaken c00lkidd is a child and that many of the versions of c00lkidd that are popular aren't. Forsaken c00lkidd and 007n7 as well as all the other roblox characters that aren't original are all just interpretations of them.

This is all why I believe research, both in-fandom lore research and outside general research is an incredibly good thing. I'm big for research and lore, as it both gives me more knowledge but also more content of them (and yaoi,) but not everyone does research and that can be a big problem. If you see anyone make mistakes like these for the love of god EDUCATE THEM INSTEAD OF HARASSING THEM.

Harassment does no good, it does not inform, it only drives them away and does the opposite of what you want them to do. If you harass a Forsaken fan for not knowing where Elliot was from, educate them and tell them that he came from Work At A Pizza Place. Do not call them newgen either.

I've been playing roblox since I was a tiny child, I was a WAAPP, NDS, and Normal Elevator diehard, but I didn't know who Elliot was, I didn't know who Stickmasterluke was or Shedletsky was.

I eventually found out who the main popular admins were over time, yet they were only a mere fraction of my memory as they weren't important to me. Hell, I've played Block Tales but cannot remember Shedletsky being in it. I cannot tell you how I found out about them since it was a gradual thing and I literally cannot remember when I discovered them. All I know is that I was and still am a big Stickmasterluke fan.

I didn't know who all the admins, hackers, myths, and mascots were the day I first touched roblox, I learned about them over time. I first discovered the Blox Watch through a speedpaint video, I remember hearing about c00lkidd a long time ago, I remember hearing about Guest 666, and that's all I remember.

Forsaken is what properly introduced me to them, and because of Forsaken I started researching on old roblox content.

Get a grip.

[sanasyndrome]

(9)—"LOVE ME LATER"

!MEN DNI!

pair: uchinaga aeri x f!reader (ft. ning yizhou)

cw: slight angst. this is SMAU!

sypnosis: uchinaga aeri has been inlove with her best friend, y/n, for years. she was planning to confess until ning yizhou came in the picture and ruined her plan. now that they've broken up, will she gather enough courage to confess to y/n before they get back together, or will she keep quiet and lose her chance?

a/n: i almost dropped this smau 😫 not proofread btw

!!don't mind the timestamps!!

masterlist | prev | next

y/n sat down on the chair across from ning, offering a small smile that was warmly returned. despite their… not so good encounters for the past few days, y/n didn't really look at her—not until now. she noticed how ning was using a different shade of lipstick highlighting her lips, her hair longer and healthier, she looked more mature. it suited her perfectly.

“are you just gonna keep staring at me or…?” ning asked with a playful grin, sliding a cup of coffee across the table, “your coffee.”

caught off guard, y/n felt her face heating up. “I wasn't,” she protested, taking the cup of coffee before muttering a small ‘thanks’.

“yeah, sure you weren't.” ning teased, clearly enjoying the banter as she tried to lessen the awkwardness. “anyway, should we start now?”

“mhm.” y/n nodded. she watched ning open her laptop before deciding that it'd be better to sit next to her so she wouldn't have to break her bones or strain her neck from trying to see the screen.

———

“we can just impro-” ning was suddenly interrupted by her phone ringing loudly. the caller id read ‘yujin’, her roommate. normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal; a normal person would just say sorry, and would either decline or answer the call. but not when your ringtone blared with the unmistakable beat of…

‘THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMING SYSTEM

TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM’ (🗣️🔥🔥)

super bass.

“...pfft—” y/n stifled a laugh, quickly putting her hands over her mouth as she tried her best to not burst out laughing, but apparently her best wasn't enough.

“seriously? super bass? HAHAHA!” y/n wheezed, tears pricking the corner of her eyes as she watched ning decline the call and immediately switch to do not disturb.

ning was so lucky the people around them didn't mind and just laughed it off, though that didn't stop her face from turning tomato red.

“heyyyy!” she lightly punched y/n on the shoulder. the corner of her lips twitched up into a smile as she too bursted out to a fit of laughter.

soon enough, their laughter faded into a comfortable silence, and, well… they kind of just stared at each other for a bit. neither of them expected to be laughing together like this again.

eventually, ning was the one to break the silence between them, voice slightly hesitant “so uhm, I know you're just here for the project and this probably isn't the best time to ask but… can we talk? about us.” ning felt the mood shift in an instant. she bit her lip, hoping y/n wouldn't walk out or get mad.

y/n considered it for a moment before nodding, “yeah, sure.” it was about time they'd properly talk about it. “why did you- why did you break up with me?” she asked, voice tinged with curiosity.

“oh—straight to the point? okay.” ning took a deep breath, unsure of why she was so nervous about this. “well, I just- I felt like I didn't deserve you. I mean, you're smart, pretty, popular, and nice while I'm just average. everyone was telling me how lucky I was to have you. the amount of people that were after you weren't helping either. they looked better, they dressed better, and I guess I just felt insecure. I felt like I was holding you down so much, like you deserved better- and oh my gosh I'm ranting aren't I?”

“no, it's okay.” y/n’s replied softly, she felt a twinge of guilt for not recognizing what ning yizhou had been feeling, “I'm sorry for not noticing that you felt that way. I thought-”

“no, no, it's fine. you don't have to explain anything. let's just- by any chance can we start over? I mean, it'sokayifyoudontwantowecanjust-”

“ning yizhou, calm down, okay? yes, we can start over.”

yizhou felt a wave of relief was over her, but there was one more thing she needed to know. “do you… still like me romantically?” she asked.

y/n blinked, realizing she had never thought about that. did she still like yizhou? or did she just miss what they had? she wasn't sure. “well, I'm gonna be honest… I don't know.” she saw the flicker of disappointment in yizhou's eyes and damn, she felt so bad.

“but like I said, we can start over—as friends. then we'll see how it goes, okay?” y/n stated, giving yizhou a reassuring pat on her back.

yizhou smiled at the reassurance, “okay, that's okay. I'm just glad I get to spend time with you again.”

NOTE: these are all entirely fictional and fake, created purely for entertainment purposes.

[sonic-takeover]

D'aww, you two are still the cutest together Sonic and Shadow! <3 Best of luck, cuz' everyone knows that if you guys find some new orphaned/abandoned kid you'll get attached and bring them home whether you're married yet by then or not. 😹 You two are both just the nurturing type, I don't think you can help it. 😹

*Sonic is running faster than the wind, closing his eyes as he follows the familiar paths and turns of his and Shadow's favorite trail. He smiles and breathes in the smell of the forest waking up into springtime. Shadow is skating at his side, huffing as he tries to calm down from his tension earlier. Sonic bumps shoulders with him* Hey! Race you to the top of the volcano!

Fine! *Shadow zooms ahead. Sonic laughs and catches up with him as they begin to circle the mountain. Once they reach the top, Sonic does a spin dash in the air and lands on the edge of the volcano. He stretches*

Mmm, that was great! Sorry you lost even after I was bedridden for two days, sunshine~ *Sonic turns to look at Shadow, his smile faltering* .... Babe?

*Shadow is walking away from him along the edge of the volcano. He goes to one of the boulders and sits down. Sonic zooms over to join him, sitting next to him*

The view is so beautiful up here, isn't it?

*Shadow sighs and looks around for the first time. His expression softens a little* .. Yes... I suppose so.

*Sonic smiles, watching him. He leans over to kiss his cheek* Hey.. What's going on in that grumpy mind of yours?

*Shadow lets his shoulders relax a bit when Sonic kisses him. He closes his eyes at the touch, then opens them again to study the ground as they talk* He isn't a kid. He acts like one around us, but... He's probably just joking around. I took it too seriously.

... Yeah, kinda.. But that's okay! It's nice to see you care so much about someone. Someone other than me, I mean~

Heh.. I guess so. I didn't think I cared so much, but.. It felt... Nice. To be a father.

Yeah? *Sonic tilts his head, admiring Shadow. He loves that look he gets when he's vulnerable*

Yeah. And then you raised Tails by yourself, and he turned out, uh... Well.... He's a good kid.

Thanks.. I think?

*Shadow takes Sonic's hand, holding it in both of his own as he talks, his eyes scanning the horizon. Sonic lets him fidget with his glove* I know we're not even close to being ready to get married or anything, but... Playing house with you and Silver, it's... I enjoyed it. I think it'll be nice when we get a kid of our own.

*Sonic is staring at him with sparkling eyes, a little smile on his lips. He lets off a breathless laugh* You want that..? With me..?

Of course I do. Sonic, you don't seem to understand how much I've pictured a future with you. Before we faced our feelings, I... Admit I was a bit like Amy. With that journal she has where she writes her and Metal's names-

*Sonic sits forward, grinning* You write our names in your journal??

*Shadow blushes, looking at him for the first time* What?? No! Don't read my journal, hedgehog!

I haven't, but now I really wanna! Oh please, Shads, just this once. Did you write my name with your last name? Did you put little hearts around it~?

Shut up!! *He shoves him away, his cheeks red*

*Sonic laughs and shoves him back playfully* Come onnn I wanna see! How long have you been doing this??

Since- Wait, no! I don't do it! Ugh!! *He gets up* I'm going home to burn those journals.

Nooooo baby don't, I love that you do that! *Sonic gets up to follow him* It's so cute!! Honeyyy!! *They race off back toward the bigass house*

[tryandbehappy]

Hey !

Since I discovered your blog, I'm literally obsessed with it ! I spend so much time reading your posts, it's sooooo good ! Thank you for bringing us hope, we seriously need it with the season we have so far 😅

What do you think will happen with Luke and Rose ? I mean, I don't see how Nick and June can be together if these two are still in the picture you know ?

I feel that the writers will give us the " impossible love " thing. Like Nick and June love each other but can't be together at the end. That they'll confess their love for each other but realised that they will and can never be together. I don't know if what I'm saying is very clear, english is not my first language 😅

But thank you for all your posts, please never stop writing them 😅

Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me. Now, as for predictions about what’s going to happen next… Honestly, I have no clue. I never make predictions, because mine are always wrong. What I can do is analyze the emotional state the characters are in right now and what brought them there. I can look at the parallels, interpret their behavior based on the material we’ve been given. But predicting what’s next? Completely impossible.

That said, logically speaking, The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t a dark show in the way some might think. They’ve given redemptive arcs to nearly every major character except Fred. They don’t even let Nick hit true rock bottom (I mean he’s framed like a “dark horse”). But if you look at what Nick did, it’s barely even a “betrayal.” The show has already moved past it, judging by June’s reaction to him at the wedding, the way she looked at him with those doe eyes. That tells us everything: this conflict isn’t lasting.

And if we’re being honest, Nick and June have always been the emotional center of the show. That becomes very clear if you go back and rewatch all of their scenes. Sometimes it’s easy to forget because there’s so much happening in the series overall, and time feels stretched out, but when you focus on their scenes specifically, the emotional weight, the intensity they’re almost always hopeful, tender, or empowering. This is literally their first real conflict in six seasons. So it’s incredibly unlikely that the show would suddenly decide to permanently break them apart.

So what do I expect next? I’m sure we’ll get an incredibly emotionally charged Nick and June scene or several. I think either the whole finale or a large part of it will be focused on them. Something like season 4 episode 9, where we had almost a full episode centered on them. It won’t be some cheesy soap opera; there will be stakes and drama, but we’re going to get multiple scenes, and they’ll be shot beautifully and acted powerfully. That much I feel confident about.

As for tone I’m expecting something hopeful. Maybe it’ll be bittersweet, like they get their happiness for a moment and then lose it. Or maybe everything seems stacked against them and then against all odds they end up together. What I’m sure of is that we’re about to be thrown onto an emotional rollercoaster. There’s going to be heartbreak and joy. The only question is: in what order? I think since we’re already in heartbreak territory now, it makes sense for it to build toward hope and catharsis.

As for Rose and Luke, honestly, I’m not even concerned. Those stories are done. June already said she’s with Luke out of obligation and Nick heard that. Nick has also made it clear that he’s ready to walk away from Rose the moment he gets the chance. There’s no weight left in those dynamics. The only unresolved question in the whole damn show is: Will Nick and June be together? That’s what’s keeping the fandom on edge.

And listen I know a lot of people are mad at the writers right now, worried there’s not enough time left, worried we’re not going to get what we want. But I don’t feel that way. I actually like the pacing. I get why the tension is drawn out this way. It’s a narrative choice, a dramatic strategy. They’re making us feel it. Because if there wasn’t this level of uncertainty, we wouldn’t be nearly this emotionally invested.

The scenes we’ve gotten so far? They’re incredible. The writing, the lighting, the angles, the acting, everything is so carefully crafted. I say that as a video editor who studies every detail. And that’s why I trust them. I trust the crew, I trust the actors, I trust that they know what they’re building toward and I believe that the finale is going to destroy us in the best possible way.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

I absolutely get wanting more Padmé centric content and deeper character dives of her from official material, and don’t get me wrong - i’m 2000% on that bandwagon too and I’ll die on this hill, like give me deep thoughts ranging from her survivors guilt and ptsd of becoming a child queen to basic silly and trivial fun facts about her life, hobbies, and antics.) and to this day I’m disappointed and dissatisfied with the lack of content we have on her, despite that she’s the center to the whole saga and and plays a pivotal role in the start and finish of the whole story from being the sole purpose of Anakin’s fall to being the reason why her babies were the last hopes of the galaxy and lastly being one of the founders of the rebellion. However, I just can’t agree that the ROTS novel didn’t do a good job at portraying her.

In it’s raw nature, the ROTS novel is where the starting point of Padmé begins along with the TPM, and AOTC novels. I don’t see her role as solely associated to “just” Anakin and I seriously doubt that GL and Stover intended for it to be read that way either. What feels intended is the emphasis that Anakin is as equally enjoined to her character as he is to hers. While I can understand undoubtedly that it may come off to some people that Padmé only exists to be Anakin’s wife, I feel like the book very clearly offers much more nuance and depth in the writing than just what’s interpreted on the surface.

A Padmé stan will always see her moments and begin analyzing every detail and inch of it no matter what, (guilty) and while I do agree that the novel should’ve included extra bits about Padmé as well, and that there are some passages provided by the book that gave us an opening to fully dive into more of her character and story arc, I still firmly believe that what we got is amazing work and content.

Like first things first is that loving Padmé means also loving and appreciating that a big part of her character is heavily associated to Anakin, if you can’t accept that, it’s sort of hard to fully accept Padmé. And I get that Anidala isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s fine and I’m not saying you gotta ship them to love Padmé, but it is what it is that some characters are so heavily intertwined that sometimes it’s impossible to separate them. You have be able to understand character A if you want to understand character B, and Anakin & Padmé are these types of variants.

However, this doesn’t mean her dialogue being about him and her life with him is meant to undermine her independence and individuality. Padmé is already a well established iconic, feminist like character that can balance both her lover girl side and warrior side. The previous movies/novelizations drove the point home to show us just WHO Padmé Amidala is. So the ROTS novel gave us the chance to see the side of Padmé that’s hopelessly in love and finally at the tip of earning her well deserved, fairytale happily ever after.

When we first get introduced to ‘Padmé’ in the novel, we get the full rundown of all her accomplishments, achievements, and even a poetic composition of Padmé’s talents and her power and impact through out her career. She’s very young and she’s already pretty much achieved everything a very career oriented person could strive for. Even in the same paragraph- it highlights how compared to Anakin, Padmé is much wiser and she can understand him better than he can understand himself, levelling or even somewhat heightening her stance in comparison to the main character. If anything, this passage doesn’t undermine her character but uplifts it more.

And even throughout the book, despite that Padmé is now at a point in her life where she wants to settle down, leave duty, run away with her husband to have their child, her passion for democracy, and being a fierce advocate for freedom doesn’t let her just walk away from the chaos. A lot of her story that was included in the novel is about how Padmé can be a lover and fighter at the same time. She’s out here forming rebellions with her colleagues, trying to help her husband out with the issues he’s facing all while carrying twins inside her womb.

The novel focuses on what a strong person Padmé really is not just in political terms but also out of all that, which is part of what made Anakin fall so deeply in love with her. Even her own colleagues such as Mon Mothma rely on her to help them out with founding an entire rebellions because they know she’s the reason why there’s any semblance of humanity left in the Galaxy, and basically admitted that she carries the Republic on her shoulders. This passage right below is basically what sums Padmé up and I gotta shout out to my girl Mon for saying it loud and proud:

And Anakin is written to be the same way as her, completely and utterly obsessed. His entire arc and story in the novel, is centred around Padmé, no matter what situation he finds himself in, whether it be a meeting with the Jedi council, or a discussion with OWK, or a weird encounter with Palpatine, Anakin thoughts always lead back to Padmé. Bringing us back to my previous point that their characters are heavily interconnected.

And when Padmé discovers that Bail and Mon along with the rest of the Delegation of 2000 are making plans to move against Palpatine’s rule, Padmé doesn’t only find concern in the fact that she’ll have to keep this secret from Anakin and that breaks her heart, or that she’s planning to go against her husbands somewhat “father figure” (mentor) but she herself finds disappointment in the fact that a friend and mentor of hers is being suspected and she even argues with the rest of her Senator colleagues about her disagreement. It wasn’t just about Anakin for her, it was also about herself and the fact that she’s finally coming to terms with the truth that maybe her ally isn’t actually her ally.

There’s even a point where she comes to the realization that she would vote against Palpatine and find others to do the same because she acknowledges how corrupt things are getting under his rule, and she would do it despite the fact that she knows it would hurt her love, which showcase Padmé’s ability to dissect corruption and evil even when it’s delivered in a well wrapped confetti paper package like Palpatine and also demonstrates her ability to do the right thing even when it pains her to hurt someone she deeply loves. She’s resilient, powerful, and strong!

And of course how could I do a Padmé study without mentioning her most important and climactic moments that mark the end of democracy in the Republic and the rise of the corrupt Empire which was artfully delivered in a poetic prose that can only be attributed to Padmé herself:

Before this powerful scene, Padmé graces us with yet another glimpse inside her intelligently crafted mind by the way she advises Bail to pretend to ally himself with Palpatine’s government and asks him to encourage the other members of the Delegation of 2000 to do the same so that there’s preservation for them to continue to root the seeds of the rebellion against Palpatine’s Empire in the future. (Painful as it is, she’s fully aware that she may not be alive much longer due to Anakin’s visions.) Only someone as articulated and calculated as Padmé would’ve been able to think of a plan so long term like that and it actually work in the end. Proof of what a political genius she is and a true warrior or champion of democracy.

Overall, I just think there are many moments in the novel regarding Padmé that could really speak to the person who loves her, and all of this is fuel to understand and analyze her in ways that enhances her character to the fullest. Do I think there are points that could’ve added a bit more? Absolutely! But I’m also happy with the results we have because Padmé is such a well packaged character that even her smallest moments reveal the best of her.

[slaaverin]

I’ve seen it everywhere now, this view about JK

https://www.instagram.com/stories/pjm_lovergirl/3633861251733421758?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=ZzM4ajBiajFvZXM3

I Like this creator but they put this on today and I asked what they meant (I knew) and their answer was yes, they meant JK.

It’s absurd how people have these crass expectations of JK especially when it comes to how he acts about Jimin. Like he cannot do anything right, by their standards. Like pjms hate him, and then turn around and further that hate when he does something they don’t like ‘to Jimin. Like Jimin can’t stand up for himself. And as someone else said, it was his choice to make us aware about where JK was, and they listened together. But it was JK who told us back in December Jimin was doing good and they shower together. As I said, nothing is good enough.

I also think people have really weird expectations of someone else’s queer relationship in general. I mean Jimin has the most emotional intelligence of anyone I have seen, he wouldn’t put up with it if he was being mistreated. I fully believe that to be true.

I am glad Jimin is telling us these things, at one point I didn’t think he would given the hate he faces, and that also in 23 he was denied mostly everything about JK, he even told Fallon that he only kept in touch with J Hope and Suga, imagine how JK felt. Again that was his choice.

I don’t care that JK didn’t act like these folks wanted him to. In the moment, it was hilariously cute and funny. In reality they were giggling together in the barracks.

What more do people want seriously?

Wow I read those stories I am in disbelief

What kind of mental gymnastics these people are making like Jimin is some kind of fragile being incapable of making the right decisions for himself and taking care of himself like? I know Jimin likes to play damsel in distress but it's actually a joke not real life.

I agree with you, Jimin is emotionally intelligent and mature and if he keeps reinforcing his devotion, loyalty and love towards JK it's that Jungkook is treating him well IRL???

Once again those men owe us nothing and they have a whole private life together with events and experiences we know nothing about and Jungkook doesn't have to say anything publically if he doesn't want to. The fact we've got a whole list, hours of content, statements, acts of love, basically everything showing that JK is not only fond, but madly in love with Jimin, it is a fucking privilege

So when I see people online projecting hurt feelings (*violins playing*) like boohoo this is so hurtful, who do they think they are? Can they pretend they know what's the true nature of jikook relationship? They can't. Nobody can. We don't know them personally! We don't know even half of their lives.

As you say they absolutely choose what they tell us - and haven't they been highly generous already? - so please can they stop making up entire narratives over small interactions its not a soap opera. Jimin & Jungkook are enlisted together as we speak. Would they do that if they didn't have an actual meaningful relationship? Would Jimin enlist with him if Jungkook was hurtful? Would Jimin be laughing with JK like he does if he was miserable with him?

I swear they need to use their brains. It's madness.

It's like they take only the parts that suit them to reinforce their own fucked up beliefs and projection onto Jimin & Jungkook so they can turn Jimin the victim.

Why the members must always be victims of something?

People always repeat "let's trust the members" well it's a smokescreen bcs nobody trust them apparently to be adult and make the right decisions for themselves. Nobody believe in their character and strength and above all, discernement and judgement.

Jimin doesn't need Julia from wherever telling his relationship isn't good. I believe he can make his own conclusions about his own fucking life thank you very much.

It's downright disrespectful

Once again it's all about wrong projections...damn people need to look at themselves in the mirror. Or maybe they are simply young and lack experience idk 🤦🏻‍♀️

I guess "people" will never be happy no matter what Jungkook does. It is what it is.

If they wanna make up their little stories of drama hurt betrayal like this is some fanfic that's on them

Jimin & Jungkook have given everything, and I mean everything we could have hope for and they are not here to convince anyone.

Those who will get it, will get it and it ends there

Imagine how tired we are tho

Edit:

They did answer each other. They did interact. They were next to each other. People have nothing better to do than making up drama out of nothing.

Discussion closed

[themonstrousother]

The thing about Coriolanus Snow is that fans forget or ignore the fact he is a character, not just a commentary or a cautionary tale. So you get people writing these bad faith meta about him which again yes, he is a terrible, irredeemable person so all criticism for him is warranted but during TBOSAS, he is a sympathetic character and his tragedy is that he didn’t have to end up like that, and we see how his circumstance and everything that happens in his life contribute to his spiral but in the end, his refusal to take accountability and insistence to follow down that path instead of actually taking a step back and examining himself, making all these choices for power that hurt other people and rest on the subjugation of others is what leads him to become the character he is in The Hunger Games

[transsextual]

had a really incredible moment this evening. went to my campus art market where one of my friends was selling the tank top i'm wearing - another friend bought it for me and i'm so overjoyed to have it. usually a fit that leans more Traditionally Masculine feels like a costume but tonight it just felt deeply correct and honest and warm. took the opportunity to take some indulgent little pictures because i do not think i have Ever looked more like myself. so happy.

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I brought in some homemade peanut butter fudge for my coworkers, today, as well as some ornaments as little holiday gifts, and everyone who saw me expressed appreciation ... it felt really nice, I won't lie. Just ... to do something small for others like this. And I've been noticing that whenever I reach out and try to help or comfort or offer something to someone else, it makes me feel a bit better.

I think sending out tree messages yesterday had a similar effect, and helping the kiddos on Thursday with building gingerbread houses and making shakers for their sing-a-long. It's hard to put into words, but it feels like I'm finally coming out of the funk I've been in, and it's because I'm choosing to be kind in spite of everything I'm going through.