#no scratch that i'm terrified

[andillwatchh]

After reading it, what lessons you can take from THG trilogy?

Mockingjay deals with rebellion of the Districts toward the Capitol.

What lessons can we apply to current world affairs?

Thank you.

@curiousnonny

okay *takes a deep breath* hii thank you for the ask @curiousnonny! finally sitting down to answer this. for some reason i'm really nervous to jot down my thoughts on this one. i feel like i will never be able to cover everything i want and will end up forgetting some stuff but i'm going to try my best. (edit : so i might have gone a bit overboard... sorry for that)

i think the lessons and messages suzanne has conveyed through her books can be divided into parts. some are about how to act in the reality of these problems and, to put it in the most plainly way, to ingrain the good in our lives. whereas the others are about those problems and the harsh reality of our world.

one of the major things this series talks about is of course oppression and how necessary it is to retaliate against it. funny how people will straight away jump in and chant over those in books and movies, but then suddenly it's a different thing when it happens in real life, but that's for later.

this series covered a lot of grounds in relation to that. and sometimes when i think and correlate it too much to our world i go a bit insane about how uncanny it is because my god are they an accurate depiction of the wars and bloodshed and corrupted governments of our own kind. art imitates life, life imitates art.

for the current world affairs, i will mostly be associating my thoughts with the current situation in palestine, but also a few with what is now happening in congo, sudan, and west papua.

first :

how children are often exploited in wars by people in power. to either gain sympathy, support, or to induce rage, even though they don't actually care about them.

in the hunger games, we saw how the capitol used the districts children to hold on onto that fear they already have over them and remind them of their power. in mockingjay, we saw how president coin used the capitol children by bombing them to make every last of their citizens turn their backs against snow.

but we also saw how the capitol used their own children too in tbosas. how the government used their very students, who were still recovering from the war they went through at a very young age, to be mentors and be beneficial to the games, even though most didn't want to.

like arachne's funeral being blown out of proportion for propaganda use. how lots of the mentors mentioned that they felt used by the capitol for the success of the games. how snow himself even had expressed his weariness of everything that had been going on. how it was all being put on their shoulders, a burden most didn't want.

we see this case a lot too. how high governments preaching for "the safety of our children" or "for the well-being of the young generation" to sway the people's views when really, they don't care about them. they just care about the political goals they're trying to achieve or the societal condition they're trying to protect because it plays in their favors.

how people are able to put a blind eye against oppression and the fact that they are killing children

and in this context, genocide.

the capitol was broadcasting the games. they put it on tv, they made it a whole spectacle and a cause for celebration. you would think that the world outside of panem would step up and put an end it to it after realizing that :

"oh, the capitol has been annually killing 23 children each year for entertainment. and not to mention those who have died under their ruling because of now trivial solvable things like hunger and easily cured illness because of lack of medical resources from their government while they themselves throw up on purpose just to eat more"

but they didn't. and look where we are now.

israel has been occupying gaza for more than the past 75 years (on the Nakba in 1948). the civilians there has been living in an apartheid state (an article for further elaboration). they don't have equal rights on their land just because they were born palestinians. it has been described as an “open air prison”, so alike to the arena the capitol used for the games. how many news have you witnessed about the bombings in gaza before 2023? how many times has this happened, again and again throughout the decades?

thousands of men, women, and children alike are being killed from the attacks (and it's not even from the past decades, only from october 7th) , and over 1.7 millions have been displaced out of their own homes in gaza because of the occupation .

same thing with congo and sudan and west papua. they are currently going through a genocide too, but not a lot of protests or posts on that because not much is aware of it.

with social medias in the play, we've seen so many footages being spread around to show people what actually is happening there. these hurting civilians have had to put aside their mourning for the loss of their family, relatives, and friends just to make the rest of the world hear them. so many have had to put their injured children, brothers and sisters with missing limbs, and their people under the rubble just to make the media see them.

this is why spreading awareness is so so important. it's the least you can do if you don't have the means to donate or help in any other way. so many parts of the world is suffering and it's necessary to bring them to light. don't be like the capitol citizens, blinded by medias and glamorous shows that are being fed into us daily so we won't see what the actual problem is.

how propagandas and being control of the narrative play such a vital role in wars and conflicts.

just like how it is right now with what's currently happening in palestine. how so many journalists who were stationed there and risking their lives in the hopes of reporting the world on the crisis situation in gaza, are getting killed and attacked by isareli strikes left and right.

another thing i would like to point out, just because i can't get it out of my mind, is how imbalance the power that are being played. like that one chapter in tbosas. we see it loud and clear the significant difference in terms of privilege and who are holding the upper hand in the midst of all the pictures and videos being taken.

remember that part in tbosas when the capitol made arachne's death a major event? but really it wasn't about giving her respects or anything, it was to make a statement. what with making her tribute's punishment a public and broadcasted exhibition. they wasted money on all that when they were still on rocky ground with the economy. just to remind the districts what the capitol could do to them if they step out of the line and remind them of their assets.

the capitol were still capable of spending some to record and assemble that, while the districts are dying out of starvation and natural causes and them.

i have some thoughts, but i’m just going to leave it at how so many countries have played this too. maybe not so much the blatant and brutal part, but how so many of the governments have played the ‘victim card’ to show off to the world too, when they themselves are the root of the problem.

how power and moral superiority corrupt.

we see this in tbosas, mostly, because of the fact we saw it in the perspective of the oppressive government itself. when i was reading the original trilogy, i was wondering how they had come to make that decision and how could they justify it when, at the cost of it all, they are killing innocent lives. children, not even the adults in charge of the first rebellion themselves.

how does one have the decency to do that and not feel guilty? how could they not see how sick this is?

and that's because the capitol didn't see these children as people. to see them as barely above animals was already a rare case. they saw them as rabid, savages, scums of the earth.

they didn't see the loss we see through our third-person perspective because they don't think there were losses to begin with. they felt that letting them to live was already a good "mercy" to give and that these district people owed them. their death had no value to them, and their lives only did because it served them materials to live by.

we saw a lot of this too in our world. how great countries (*ekhem* western countries *ekhem*) have hold themselves above others and see minorities, people of color, people with different cultures and beliefs as violent. when really, whose side had their hands red first?

we saw this happening in the past that led to colonialism, genocide, ethnic cleansing, etc.

and we still see this happening right now too. everywhere.

for example, like the common views that arabs are dangerous or that muslims are terrorists, which can lead to the dismissing of what israel is currently doing to the people in palestine where the majority of the citizens are muslims.

the US government funding the bombs that resulted in these thousands of palestinian deaths and biden supporting israel on their inhumane attacks is just. you see where i'm getting at. (recent news on their "concerned" thoughts of the 4-day pause)

how the israeli forces can just attack al-aqsa mosque during ramadhan regularly and still able to do it and not get condemnation from lots of the western countries that powers the world. i can't find the recent numbers, but news from november 9th 2023 shows that they have bombed 66 mosques with partial damage to 146 others across gaza.

what are their justification for the damage and injuries? "that hamas are hiding in there", "that they are using it as headquarters." and they can still continue to do that too, bomb sacred places and desperately needed sites with that excuse as a shield for all their atrocities, if this does not stop here.

which leads us to,

war crimes

the capitol bombed an entire district, killing almost everyone there. and they bombed a makeshift hospital in district 8—that's a war crime.

according to the WHO, 39 health facilities have been damaged since the war began (and that's from 20 days ago).

al-shifa hospital, al-quds hospital, al-rantisi hospital , the indonesian hospital. where patients, casualties, and premature babies are.

not only that, they have also bombed schools (including the UN school in the Jabalia refugee camp). i don't even need to explain how this is a place for children to learn and they bombed that too.

Other than mosques, they have also bombed churches (one namely the greek orthodox church, the oldest in the city)

they bombed refugee camps, evacuations routes where they had told the citizens to flee. they have used white phosphorus to bomb gaza, a weapon illegal to use even in wars.

people have cried reading and/or watching katniss' speech to snow after he had ordered for the makeshift hospital to be bombed because it is powerful and incredibly moving to see. it was a spark of the rebellion, and people love rooting for fictional characters overthrowing the government and getting the justice they deserved, especially if said government hit too close to home. but that is fiction.

but when they see real people actually living under tyranny and having their homes being bombed, and citizens being killed every 10 minutes, lots of the same people just look away, refusing to acknowledge it. prefer to turn into a "safer" program instead. when what's currently happening isn't fiction and there are actually CASUALTIES and people dying. most refuse to see it and some even take desperate measures to defend it. and that's insane.

i'm sure there are more i haven't elaborated, but now let's move on to what i think is the biggest takeaway from this series :

that wars hurt everybody.

one of the things katniss concluded by the end of mockingjay is that "it benefits no one to live in a world where these things happen." (mj, chapter 27).

i know lots of people have a lot of things to say about suzanne's ending message feeling slightly against violent resistance, but that's not it. she was saying that in return of violence itself, we could've changed it and turned it for the better. all of us, together. (because after all, haven't we labelled ourselves as the superior species of earth?)

but how could we do so, when the politics of our world and our own views of it are so complicated and tangled and tampered, and already so many of us have blood on our hands? that’s the question.

"i think that peeta was onto something about us destroying one another and letting some decent species take over. because something is significantly wrong with a creature that sacrifices its children's lives to settle its differences. you can spin it anyway you like."

we saw the entire problem being elaborated more in tbosas. how the hunger games was to punish the district because of the rebellion they incited, and of course with the aftermath of the war still fresh in their minds, the capitol citizens agreed or did not mind it.

but what they did not realize or refused to remember was that the district had taken a stand against the capitol because of the capitol itself. (which i think also connects to the recent events, but). because they had had their lives taken from them while still living it, because they had been robbed of their rights to live as human beings should, because the capitol had reduced them to slavers for their purposes and their purposes only.

i see it as an "if only." on what we could do instead of what we have been doing for millennia. what we could be evolving to instead of resorting to more wars in the future, had everything had not happened.

but how could we form peace all around the world when so many of reigning and powerful countries that was the start of all of this in the first place only advocate for diplomacy but doesn't actually practice them? how could we, when control and greed and take, take, take has always been the motivator? but that's a talk for another day.

as we all aware of, oppression, wars, slavery, genocide, ethnic cleansing etc are still happening in different parts of the world. we unfortunately did not leave them in the old history books and became better like we would all like to believe. so, where does that leave us? when the money power hungry governments are still out there to get others and us and all we, the rest of the world, can do is watch?

so let's talk on WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

learn and educate yourselves on the matter.

i know only a few people will read this, but i'm going to add links either way :

on palestine -> comprehensive masterlist , thepalestineacademy.com , decolonizepalestine.com | on congo -> m23 cobalt mining in congo (2) | on sudan -> ICC, CNN, sudan genocide | west papua -> genocidewatch , research paper on it, the guardian.

spread awareness.

this is the very least you can do. just tell people what you know, let people acknowledge it. information holds power, that's why we have seen so many journalists being killed trying to get some. it's not useless. even if you don't have a big following or whatever, app like twitter and tiktok relies heavily on algorithm. just giving likes or retweet/repost could help a lot on it reaching a wider audience. a post on tumblr, on the other hand, dies with a like— so reblog!!

social media has a bad reputation for false information, and i'm not saying it is a misconception but seriously, what does most of the big (especially western) news channels tell us? lies, cover-ups, lies. so take advantage of the accessibility of the internet to share information on what's happening, but do make sure to use your own media literacy while doing so too.

donate, if you can.

but make sure to check who are in charge of the donations too!

you can also join rallies or protests, but do it according to regulations. don’t do things that can be harmful to other people’s safety or yours.

so, to wrap it all up :

the hunger games is a series that tells us about injustice and how it could go on so long without any repercussions due to suppressed voices and silenced speeches. so share those voice of theirs, let the world know and see and hear them. because we can't let history keep being repeated over and over again when ours has held so many bloodshed and costed so many of people lives in between them.

[borgialucrezia]

“It felt like it was meant to happen. Of course they do have sexual feelings for one another, but it mostly comes from a deep, deep love. When it happens there’s pain, there’s relief, there’s the feeling that it was inevitable. There are so many emotions involved in that sexual act that it couldn’t have been just jumping each other’s bones. [Laughs.]." — FRANÇOIS ARNAUD

[shittybundaskenyer]

when the writer is in doubt, my turn to come out (scratch out)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

actually the way House MD so often takes a random character showing behavioral issues of whatever sort and says actually there's a reason for this, it isn't an innate thing wrong with you, it's a product of your circumstances and we can try to make this better for you, is so profound because while it is typically a reflection on the character of House himself it's also incredibly gentle. bad behaviors are often a product of our circumstances, and somehow hatecrimes MD gets to the point of grace faster and better than any far more intentional story usually would

[v0id-clawz]

Cats aren't aggressive, they just have boundaries

Istg

CATS AREN'T AGGRESSIVE, THEY JUST HAVE BOUNDARIES

[the-acid-pear]

Where's that "before Artfight ends does anyone want to attack me?" pic did I make that and lose it?

[oxbowreality]

my therapist is so bad with lgbt stuff but ughhh it's so hard to find a decent therapist

[sulfurrrr]

> You are encased in the cement that is those you love who love you.

> It protects you. Makes you beautiful. It will immortalize you.

> Your legs are restless.

> You're going to have to move, sooner or later.

> The sun will blind you, at first. The wind will feel like razors against your skin for a time.

> Do you think it'll be worth it?

> Who would choose to become human, over art?

> There will be times where your once graceful shoulders will hunch in pain. Your formerly serene face crumpled in ugly anger.

> You will be so scared to turn around and see the wreckage. Chunks of cement and dust are all that will be left of the statue you used to be.

> Aren't you scared?

[durzarya]

My mom was always like - those sprays against mosquitos don't work - and I have believed her. Anyways I tried a mosquito spray it works even if it's not perfect. I'd rather get bitten 5 times than the usual 20+ during watering.

[dani4the6]

Movies need more big men in little shorts, every time I watch an older film and see one I remember what's wrong with today's media. The men aren't sluty enough

[wwoofington]

i wonder how people expect me to not feel stupid when theyre constantly telling me all of my opinions are wrong and stupid and i'm too young to know anything

[i--am-ironman]

.

[vamptastic]

Also there's not enough weird sexual undertone to banal violence anymore. How did they make a road rage Netflix horror and not make the car sexy? How did they just make it about a sad angry guy, and not the car as beast? Movies nowadays. Whoever wrote this clearly is not from the South and clearly has never had to navigate an unwalkable city on foot. Probably hasn't even been victim to a road rage incident.

[villain-in-love]

Saw the ask game your rebloged and I'm a sucker for pining so:

🏁, ❓, 🎵, ✨ for your s/i and Break? 😌

I kinda feel bad for taking so long to answer this ask, but for some reason this summer was terrible, and despite having so much time, I had no energy to do anything whatsoever. I'm posting these answers before I even polished them enough for my liking, I just don't want to withhold information for any longer.

But in any case, thank you for the ask, Averie! And thank you for the patience.

🏁 if not at the same time, who started pining first? how long until it became mutual (if ever)?

Katharine, obviously. And from the very beginning – she falls in love unfortunately quickly.

Okay, let’s me do some quick math and run over the timeline...

If we consider that the starting point for Mortifera was when they just met 14 years ago, it took… 8 to 9 years for Break to start developing actual feeling back.

However, take into account that it wasn't exactly a steady progression. For the first five years Xerxes was in love with another woman, who then died. And that partly overlapped with a four-year long period when Xerxes and Katharine fell out of contact. During that four-year time Mortifera almost got over her crush, only to fall for Break even harder when they met again. After that it took Break two more years to develop feelings for Mortifera, and then he spent next two years stubbornly trying to get rid of them (he thought that maybe if he ignores his feelings, they will go away. They did not go away. In fact, it only got worse.)

✨ share something random from the pining stage!

Unfortunately, the circus that was Break’s and Mortifera’s pining for each other had an audience of several people who were close enough to them to know what’s going on. And that audience included Reim and Sharon, who practically had first-row seats to this nonsense, being Break’s closest friends. It was already hard enough to get any confirmation from him that he likes Mortifera, but then he explicitly asked them (basically just threatened with a smile on his face) to not interfere with attempts to settle his personal life for him. However, keeping the promise of not interfering was getting harder with each day.

For better or for worse, Sharon has always been a die-hard shipper, and, being frustrated by how long it was taking for brother Xerxes and Miss Mortifera to admit their feeling to each other, she eventually decided to play a wingman, contrary to Break’s protests. It never worked – those two remain completely ignorant of the romanticism of the situations she was trying to put them in (or they intentionally chose to ignore it) Even Reim was getting frustrated – he's not even that eager to see them together, he just wants them to get over themselves and this nonsense.

Sharon even turned to her grandmother – duchess Sheryl – for help, as she's a wise old woman and probably the only person alive who Break actually treats as an authority and would listen to. However, Sheryl insisted that Break and Mortifera are full-grown adults and therefore can handle their relationship themselves. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

Anyways, it all reminds me of a scene from a russian version of The Nanny that I watched as a kid:

Break: So, we're still friends? Mortifera: Yeah, friends. Reim and Sharon, eavesdropping behind the wall: This will never end...

🎵 are there any songs that describe your pining stage?

*whips out my Tragicomedy playlist containing 40 songs* Give me a second, certainly there must be something.

Okay.

From Break’s perspective I bestow him with a song by my beloved Канцлер Ги – Тем Кто Сводит с Ума*. Though I overall associate him with her music…

It’s melancholic, with somewhat cynical and ironic mood, and has this air of hopelessness that fits him well. Also it fits a historical setting,

From Mortifera’s perspective, I can give her Please Don't Make Me Love You from Dracula, The Musical.

She's tired of this. So, so tired. When she loves, it's overwhelming, and she doesn't want to deal with it anymore if she sees no reciprocation. (Also historically appropriate!)

And of course, honourable mention of Carousel by Melanie Martinez!

"It's all fun and games Until somebody falls in love But you already bought a ticket And there's no turning back now..."

I think it also fits them well with it's vibe.

❓describe a time one of you did flirt or make a move, only for the other to remain totally oblivious.

Mortifera is cursing the day she decided that it would be a fun idea to frame her flirting as a joke. Because while it gave her an excuse to act out on her affection by pretending that she does it just to tease and annoy Break... Now he doesn’t take her seriously when she actually tries to make a move.

Also, to make matters worse, this woman is simply incapable of flirting like a normal person.

I imagine that on one of the balls those two unfortunate souls ended up stuck together, it was an occasion where Break had to flirt with some women to get information out of them (fun fact: duchess Sheryl taught him that).

After coming back to Katharine who was quietly watching it all from the distance, and joining her somewhere on the balcony, he expresses his surprise as to how do they even fall for it every time.

Katharine replies that of course it would work for someone with a pretty face like his. By all means, Xerxes looks like a porcelain doll that even she would like steal away and keep in the glass case.

Xerxes did not like that.

Katharine's words ended up interpreted as just another unpleasant thing she said to get on his nerves. He's not surprised by the fact that Katharine finds him pretty – not that she was ever hiding it – but it's not enough of an evidence to say that she's crushing on him. (Furthermore, I think Break has... complicated relationship with his own beauty, which made him feel even less inclined to look at what she said as a genuine compliment).

"You already have enough creepy dolls in your collection, you don't need another one."

"...as long as Emily is in the picture, I don't want to hear anything about my dolls from you."

*Since the song is in russian and I usually heavily rely on lyrics when choosing music for characters and ships, I offer you my translation:

*Actually, instead of "make you lose your head", it would be directly translated as “blow one’s head off”, which is the same thing as what I wrote, but is more violent I wasn’t sure if it can be understood the same way in English.

Another fun fact: in Russian this song is written with the narrator addressing their lover with a formal form of “you”.

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

don't pay any attention to how bubbly this nail dried (i was in a hurry and it's a test) but looooooooooooooook at the nail gems !!!!!!!

[bi-writes]

Could you do one of Simon forgetting to bring his lunch and so his wife brings it except she turns up in a cute sundress??

mail-order bride (18+)

"simon...simon riley?" you ask.

the officer raises a brow, looking down at your ID and then back at your face. he frowns a little, scratching the back of his neck.

"he's a lieutenant," you add, biting your lip. "uhm...and he works with...with john."

"john?"

you suck in a shaky breath, biting your lip nervously.

"captain john price?"

the officer just glares at you a little before picking up his radio.

"yes, ma'am. wait here."

he turns his back to you, walking a little ways away, and you hear him speak into the radio lowly.

"...got a civilian here asking for lieutenant riley..."

"...negative, sir..."

"...oh. affirmative, sir. right away."

the officer comes back, giving you your ID back. he looks sheepish now all of the sudden, and he smiles at you, which unnerves you almost.

"u-uh, so sorry ma'am. you can park near the main office, right that way," he points to a building far to the left, "i'll have someone come meet you there to take you inside. again, apologies...we're going to put you on a list, mrs. riley."

you frown a little, shrugging. you're not upset. it's a miltiary base, for christ's sake, and you've never been here; of course they would be apprehensive about letting you in. but the private looks terrified out of his mind, so you just smile a little and make your way towards the parking spot he pointed out.

when you get out of the car, you push the door closed with your hip, picking up the bag in the passenger seat. there's a woman standing by the door, smiling and waving at you. she looks very smart, in a nice pantsuit. you smooth your dress down, smiling back at her, and you swing your purse over your shoulder before making your way to her.

"hello, mrs. riley. the lieutenant's wife, i hear?" she asks. you nod and shake her hand.

"y-yes...he...he said he was just doing administrative stuff today, but he forgot some things so...i just wanted to do something nice--"

"right!" she nods her head towards the door. "i can escort you to his office. uhm...i believe he's debriefing with captain price this afternoon, but i'm sure he can make some time." she winks at you when she says that, and you bite back a shy smile.

she takes a seat at her desk, picking up the phone. she yaps for a few minutes, and you take a seat in an empty chair, smoothing your skirt out. your wearing one of simon's favorites, the cherry-printed mini dress he loves so much, but you realize maybe he might not be the only one. there's a myriad of privates and soldiers that walk past you, and you hear some whistles by some of the bolder ones. you suddenly feel very self conscious, tucking your legs underneath yourself. you're wearing white strapped wedges, your hair styled nicely with a bow to match the dress, but now you feel silly, stupid.

why would you go to a military base dressed like a fucking pin-up girl?

"wot are you doin' 'ere?" a rough voice demands.

mmm. that's why.

you look up from your chair, smiling wide when you see him. simon stands with his arms crossed over his tact vest, tilting his head to the side as he glares at you from under his skull mask. you've never seen him strapped before, though. he's got a gun tucked into his thigh holster.

"h-hi," you pick up the basket next to you, standing up, and when you come close, simon is rough, wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you near him with a short growl.

"oi," he snaps, but you just flutter your lashes at his harsh voice, smiling bigger. "can't fuckin' come 'ere lookin' so pretty."

you giggle, and even though you're wearing heels, you still find yourself standing on your toes as you try to get close to him.

"you forgot what i packed for you, simon. how could you forget?" you pout a little. he sighs deeply, smoothing his gloved hand down your back before nodding his head.

"c'mon. can't 'ave ya out here. fuckin' muppets starin' at my wife."

he turns and immediately starts walking. he's entirely too fast, and you skip in your wedges practically to try and keep up with him. when he notices, he slows his pace, and you grip the basket better in your hand before reaching for his with the other.

your hands intertwine, and you look around as you walk, reading the plaques on the wall, the shiny medals, waving at johnny when you see him holding a bag of crisps upside over his open mouth.

when simon shuts the door behind you in a dark office, you set the basket down on the desk, pushing back the kitchen towel fabric.

"okay, so i brought those muffins you like from that little shop. they had blueberry this morning, oh my gosh, simon, they also started putting out these little scones that--oh!" you gasp as he grabs you from the fat of your hips, a big flat palm over the base of your spine as he pushes you flat onto your stomach onto the desk. "simon!"

simon sucks on his teeth as he flips up your skirt, letting out a low whistle as he palms your ass, spreading the fat of it so he peek at the seam of the white lace you're wearing. you lay your palms against the desk and whimper, not used to simon being so rough, so upfront, so bold.

"can't just come here all dressed up, baby," simon grunts, shaking his head. "and not expect me to take wot i need...been surrounded by nothing but wankers all fuckin' day..."

you relax a little, giggling.

"simon," you sigh, your eyes closing as you push your hips back into his hands. "i missed you so much..."

"tha' why y'came down 'ere, luvvie?" he asks, smirking under the mask. "ya missed me? missed y'r husband? what'd ya miss, baby? tell me."

you arch your back a little, bowing it, and you laugh when he gives your ass a firm grab before picking you up and spinning you around, caging you against the desk. you smile up at him, dazed, a little dizzy, and he winks at you, eye-black dark and deadly around those killer brown eyes. he's so big, so hot, and you're suddenly very aware of how big simon looks in all his gear.

"i don't know," you say softly. "it's so cold in bed at night..."

simon snorts, "tha' right? 's cold? the lil' shits don't keep ya warm?"

"our girls like to sleep on your pillow, i think they miss you, too."

"fuckin' lil' bastards," simon chuckles, and you sigh, sliding your hands up his vest and tugging him just a little closer. your spread your knees to let him between them, and he reaches down and grips your thighs, hiking them up around his hips as he sits you onto the edge of the desk. "fuck, you're so fucking pretty..."

you tilt your head back for him.

"i miss eating with you. it's so quiet when you're not around."

"mmm. i bet, luv."

"and i miss you when i'm alone," you whisper. "i miss you when it's just me..."

simon narrow his eyes, "tell me, swee'eart."

you reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down towards you. you kiss him over the mask, tasting sand and ash, licking over his lips through the cotton. it's lewd, disgusting, but he groans under the fabric.

"when, simon? when?" you ask, and he hums lowly.

"when? 'ow about right now?"

"no way, you're so gross, simon," you giggle. "our first time is not going to be on a desk in some dingy office where you work--"

you seize when he cups you between the thighs, big gloved hand palming your cunt through your lace panties. you arch your back and gasp, gripping his biceps tight as you lean into his touch.

"don't need t'make it our first time," simon tilts his head to the side. "can still make it real fuckin' nice, baby."

"oh, now you wanna touch me?" you suck in a shaky breath. "just because some of your men wanna look up my skirt?"

"oh, for tha', i'll make ya scream my bloody name, for oll of them ta hear," he growls, and you smile wide up at him.

"guess they need to learn i'm a lieutenant's wife," you giggle, and simon whistles low, tugging your panties to the side, and you whimper when you he prods at your entrance with two big gloved fingers.

"ahhhh..." simon hisses. "ya like tha' title, tha' it, baby? yeah...yeah you like tha'..."

"i like it," you whine, and when he meets your watery eyes, he plunges those big fingers deep, thumbing at your clit. your mouth falls open, your nails digging into his sleeves, and you suddenly wish you had asked him to take you to get your nails done so you could really claw it. "i like it..."

"could make these boys lick the fuckin' ground ya walk on," he mutters, and you whine when a particular rough thrust of his hand squelches between your thighs. "they'd do anythin' to please me, baby...even johnny would chew your bloody food for ya if i asked him to--"

you reach down and grip his wrist, your thighs shaking as you jolt. it feels so good, your entire body is on fire. his fingers are petting a nice little spot inside of you, stroking it as he pumps his hand nice and steady inside of you. his thumb is working you in gooey circles, flicking at your clit and putting taut the little string in your lower belly. your whole brain feels like it's fizzling, your blood rushing, and you stick out your tongue, licking over his masked jaw as you start to feel like you're gonna pass out from the wet slick, slick, slick sounding from your wet cunt.

"simon--simon--" you pant, and he groans, nodding his head.

"so pretty, baby," simon breathes. "so fuckin' tight, gonna 'ave to work ya open before i give ya my cock, lovey..."

"it's so big," you mumble, and simon coos, nodding his head.

"i know, baby, i know, 's big, real big...but you can take it, remember?" he laughs. "you can take it woteva i give you..."

you nod.

"i can take it--i can take it--!"

your vision blurs. there's tears coming down your face, sweat lining your forehead, your back, but you can't wipe the giggly, lazy smile off your face. simon cups the back of your head with his free hand, sitting you up, and when he pulls his fingers out from between your legs, his gloves are stuck to his hand practically, completely soaked through.

"y'r so pretty when y'cum," he murmurs, and you stick out your tongue for him. he gets the message, shoving his mask up just enough, and he bends to kiss you warm and wet.

"well then," you meet his eyes, all languid, all relaxed, a devious little grin on your sweet face. "why don't you give me another then?"

simon grins, all teeth.

"woteva ya want."