The Bedazzler
After a very hazy night that... may or may not have been caused by something he found in the Ghost Zone, Danny ends up discovering in his haze he bought an absolutely outrageous amount of various craft supplies, especially shiny things like those little plastic rimstones.
Good news, everything was bought from a going out of business sale, so he didn't drain all of his funds. Bad news, everything was bought from a going out of business sale, which means he can't return them. And, frankly, he doesn't want to just throw away a bunch of stuff he paid for. But he still doesn't know what to do with it all.
At least until Clockwork decides to give Danny a small boon that lets him stop time. Then he gets some ideas.
It first starts off with Superman. He's doing his regular hero thing, when he suddenly feels his cape pulled to one side. He brushes it off as the wind, until people start pointing at his back. Clark nearly panics when he finds a bunch of green crystals on his cape, only to calm when he realizes they're plastic and attached with glue. That of course begs the question, who was able to glue gemstones to his back without him noticing?
Later that same day he's both amused and even more confused when Luthor appears again, only for a bunch of gem stickers to appear on top of his bald head, clearly arranged to spell out 'I Heart Superman' in icons.
Captain Marvel suddenly feels something appear on his head, only to discover it's some kind of cardboard crown. He's confused, but ultimately decides to wear it the rest of the day, thinking it might be from some meta fan of his.
Martian Manhunter finds a necklace appearing on him. When he pulls it off, he finds it's one of those Shrinky Dink plastics, designed to look like a medal that says '#1 Hero' on it, also with some extra plastic gems for extra bling. He wears it proudly for the rest of the day.
The Gotham Bats all get hit at the same time. Fake flowers, various colors of ribbons, Red Robin had a helium balloon attached to him for an hour, and of course plenty of shiny fake gems.
At first, everyone thought the funniest part of the mysterious crafts was Red Hood appearing with several rimstones attached to his hood where he mouth would be, several gold ones arranged in such a way that it looked like he was flashing a bunch of yellow teeth.
Then the Joker showed up. And was promptly doused in several pounds of glitter. Even better, it got into his eyes, effectively blinding him and giving the Bats a chance to capture him (after they were done laughing).
Of course, as more Leaguers get trolled, the more the stories start to paint a picture of someone running around pranking them. And many of them want to know just who this Bedazzler is.
Meanwhile, Danny is laughing his ass off and is planning on giving his friends a chance to have their own fun.
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btw if a cat picture looks AI generated (and there is consensus in the notes that it's AI) I probably won't reblog them. There is no life in those things. I only sell the real deal here. Highest quality kitties around.
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Even leaving aside the obvious ship bait here, this is one of the best examples of character comedy Hoyo has posted in a long time.
The fact that Jade sends Aventurine a bunch of rocks just knowing that his incredible luck will allow him to suss out, without even cutting the stones, exactly which ones are worth processing is funny as hell.
The fact that Aventurine is actually able to answer and picks out the rocks that contain high value jade without hesitation is absolutely hilarious.
Bro is out here using his blessing from a goddess to play blind-box prize games. This is like finding out X-Men's Professor X uses his telepathy to order pizza.
Do you think people ever call Aventurine like "Hey man, is my new relationship going to work out?"
And Aventurine's just over here as the divination champion of Pier Point going "Signs point to no, friend. The vibes are just rancid. Abandon ship ASAP."
And then he trips over his catcake and eats shit because he didn't see it coming.
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god. GOD the Ezra transmission at the end of season 1 still makes me fuckigng sick to think about, especially with the context of Mira and Ephraim hearing it. To think that for eight years his parents had been ripped away from their son all for the crime of speaking out for hope, never knowing what became of their Ezra, of that tiny seven year old left on the streets scared and crying and alone, to spend days and months and years in that awful place with all of that emptiness and then, and then and then and then.
And then they hear their boy's voice again, and they know him immediately, even without name, because of course they do, that's their son, that's their Ezra, and he's speaking out for hope just as they did, and they've been apart from him longer than they ever had him, but his voice is here, his hope is here, and he talks about how they inspired him, how he's carrying on their legacy of courage and community hope, how he has a new family - thank God he has a family, he is safe and he is loved, even if they will never know who has loved him so much as to earn the title of family - and that hope will one day prevail, just as they taught him it would.
They hear his voice, by god they hear his voice, and it's one of the last sounds they ever hear.
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