#no one is more damaged by reality
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Forsan miseros meliora sequentur
#yeah no good things will come he gon die but the quote is still cool#fnv#fallout new vegas#arcade gannon#legion#legion be like no gays and then puts cock and balls on their flag smh#im guessing his clothes are gonna be in a worse state#and more bloody i dont think the legion is gonna care about cleanliness#this is more like under lanius#yes i am an evil person#arcade with graying hair save me#my art#slave arcade is such a tragic fucking thing#trust one person and get sold out#probably not the first one judging by him sayng lovers make poor confadants#no one is more damaged by reality
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star Ryōshū and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for Ryōshū [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in one’s blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot Ryōshū somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryōshū lcb#don quixote lcb#🎠🚬
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts 👀
#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent#positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me#that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it#after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements#but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice#one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now#i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference#(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them#(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope#(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities#this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more#tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333#anyway goodnight#fl spoilers#chitchat
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-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --
A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.
#written from the perspective of some fantasy traveler who checks all of the local thrift-stores and lost & found places for every#town they visit - looking for interesting items and documenting them or something#In reality - just another one of my goofy little avocado pit carvings lol. Still working on inlaying little stones in them and stuff#I don't really have the tools to make super intricate stuff but doing little plain swirly patterns is still fine enough lol.#WORKING ON NEW POLL ADVENTURE also I know I know it's been months.. I have been Busy and struck by the evils of summer#But like I mentioned in the previous one I do want to at LEAST finish the quest with the egg lol#ANYWAY.#Things like this would plausibly exist in Nanyevimi (my fantasy world) but wouldn't be very common as - like mentioned- this would be an#extremely advanced enchantment. REALLY advanced mages could sense magic around them (to varying degrees of pinpoint accuracy of location#) without even having to use any external device. But for a majority of people there's really no way to know someone is using magic near#you unless you either see visual proof or if it's strong enough to feel effects from it (since magic is kind of like radiation in that the#higher energy/more of it youre exposed to the more it damages you/can make you sick/etc.) and even then most people would just be like#'hmm why do I feel so nauseous and bad out of nowhere?' likely wouldn't directly think to link it to magic. Thus the only really reliable w#way isto just hone your senses over like 500 years as you become an expert mage - OR use enchantments like these. But a 'sense magic' encha#ntment is not as common as a just 'magic is not allowed here' enchantment. If you wanted to prevent magic from being usedin a space#it's easier to just put up a broad barrier enchantment around that space than to have some sort of Magic Sensor to pick out if it's being#done and then handle each individual case of it . etc. etc. These sort of things can have their uses (especially for people investigating#things or trying to be secretive about detecting something etc.) but are less common - especially in this form (where visuals are used. itd#be more likely to jsut have like 'piece of metal that gets warm or cool depending on magic nearby'.) ANWAY so this is why it's a notable#object. Though a majority of the realm is not very magic literate - if you were a researcher or a mage and found this at a pawn shop you'd#definitely be like 'oohhh!! :0 inch resting... ' if not you might just be like 'oh cool necklace!' lol#also love the quick 2min ''costume'' for the image of it being used. literally just 'wrap yourself in scarves from the waist up' and slap o#a wig and ears lol#on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm
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Earth did nothing wrong.
That's it. That's the post.
#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams earth#sams moon#moon fans have really been discounting#all of times when earth tried to help#moon with his mental and emotional well being huh?#how is it her fault that he remained clammed up#about his true mental state?#'look how quick she gave up on him after he said one measly mean thing to her!'#he said and did much more than that actually#— attempted murder among those things.#and about the initial confrontation between them:#earth was still willing to forgive him.#she didn't mean that he was 'dead to her as a brother'#when she got angry with him.#in earth's own words:#'I just meant our relationship is gonna be different from that point on. I wasn't gonna tell him the things that I was insecure about.'#perfectly valid reaction.#mental illness doesn't excuse treating people poorly period.#plus moon wasn't detached from reality#when he weaponzied earth's insecurities to purposefully hurt her.#also earth never said anything which implied (directly or indirectly)#she had disowned him.#pre-murder attempt.#if anything moon threw her away.#earth's words again:#'and then he does the whole you're collateral damage. it's basically telling me you're dead to me and I don't care about you anymore.'#and even after all that she keeps feeling at fault (she's not) for moon's issues.#hardly the behavior of someone who 'gave up on him quick'.
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It's so funny to me how mad people get about Optimus punching Prowl's eye out because 1. he didn't 2. even if he did it would've been fully deserved lmao
#squiggposting#everyone else can punch and beat the shit out of prowl but if OP does it? pure evil#anyways if my best friend lied to me - betrayed me - collaborated with a bunch of criminals behind my back#and then tried to commit genocide via a terrorist attack out of their own self righteous ego and paranoia#i would also beat the shit out of them for not only endangering millions of lives#but also for taking advantage of + abusing + betraying the friendship and trust i had in them. simple as#in reality it's a little different and more complicated but like in the realm of fiction?#i 100000% support friend-betrayers being beat up by the friends they betrayed lol#no one ever mentions the 'prowl attempted genocide' part it's all just 'uguuuuu googoo gaga OP punched him that's so mmeeeeaaaaan'#fandom mfs will be like 'this machine kills fascists' and then get mad when machines kill fascists#ALSO the fact that people even get mad about that distinction is weird to me bc like#is the implication that if OP had punched prowl but his eye DIDN'T break it would be okay?#like is the bad thing just that OP gave prowl permanent damage and not just that he. yknow. beat him up?
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I will never forgive Americans for equating even, snow-white teeth with clean, healthy teeth and not even the most left-leaning progressive lot of them ever seem to challenge or push back on this idea
#your teeth can be yellowing and healthy. your teeth can be wonky and healthy. they’ve gotten on to this idea that it’s just because the usa#has superior dental care when the reality is the usa has superior cosmetic care and they’ve tricked you into believing they’re the same#not to mention unnecessary dental work and teeth whitening can literally cause damage themselves#if I see one more celebrity who had perfectly fine teeth with veneers….
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everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying “yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
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trying to craft a funger oc like aughhhh i can see him i can picture him in my head right now [image of the most off putting little man possible]
#he does not have a name yet but he DOES have a vague concept. author from the eastern union who got drafted into the military and--#--met another guy during the 1 week he had b4 getting shipped out to basic training. they immediately develop a WAY intense relationship--#--and constantly send letters to each other. author is a total chickenshit and comes to cope w the violence of war thru--#--alcoholism and a complete retreat into his obsession w the other man. gets a couple wires crossed and has his lust morph into more + more#--violent fantasies that the other man plays along w bc its Fun+Wild (at its core its the authors desire for CONTROL. if hes the one--#--bringing the pain then hes safe. even better if its with the single person in existence he feels like he can trust during that--#--period of time). manages to live throughout the rest of the war and rushes back to his lover. spends a slowly degrading week w him where-#--the man comes to realize what he thought of as simple metaphor+exaggeration was TRUE desire from the author + the author flounders--#--without the then expected+familiar terror day in and day out. culminates in the man demanding the author leave and never try to contact--#--him again (saying their romance was wild and exciting and unlike anything hed ever experienced but the only good way it couldve ended--#--was if the author died out on the front and forever left him Wanting without the actual reality of those desires realized) and the--#--author either tries to shoot himself or the man (fails to do so. lol) b4 running off to the first train out of town. worlds messiest guy#ya it leans a bit into samarie territory but hes fun. his theoretical ending b would probably have smth to do w sylvian worship + marriages#even more vague idea for his moonscorched form is a sopping wet pathetic red wolf ('red wolf' being one of the mans terms of endearment--#--thru their wartime love letters) w its legs tangled up in barbed wire so it has to drag itself around. red bc its incredibly--#--thin skin (<-- do you get it .) splits and bleeds thru with every movement. a lot of whining and incoherent babbling as it hesitates to--#--ACTUALLY attack anybody. should have some cock horror element but ive no ideas on that front LOL#skill ideas are persistence predator (more melee damage dealt the less mind hes got- a backstory choice where he focuses entirely on the--#--love letters rather than splitting focus on his on-pause career with short stories) and an unnamed one playing into his terror/lust deal-#--where he gets a buff to either melee damage or speed when his phobia is active. want to come up with at least one more though#mmmaybe him being an author doesnt play that well into his concept as a whole but hes my strangeguy so whatever
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So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.
& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.
& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.
Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.
#I don't Believe many things#because I prefer to stay open to new perspectives#& think that a balanced approach to life involves embracing a certain level of ambiguity in reality#but the things I do Believe in?#Oh I Believe them with all my heart.#I don't know how my belief system will change in the future#But I do know that above all else I believe in Kindness#Kindness to yourself Kindness to everyone around you Kindness to nature#The point of society is to ensure Everyone is treated well & can enjoy existence as much as possible#The point is Joy. The method is Kindness.#& if you aren't fighting for Everyone to be taken care of & respected & treated with Kindness#then I am not interested in your revolution.#If you hate the people against you more than you love the people you're fighting for?#You're missing the goddamn point.#(Please note I'm speaking of Kindness as a separate concept from Niceness.)#(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.)#(But I feel like a lot of people mistake that concept for an excuse to deny those they disagree with Kindness.)#(& my dudes you don't actually have principles if they only apply to people you like & agree with.)#There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like.#While I am not free right now due to my various axes of oppression & the oppression others face#I'm also not gonna be free if we straight up murder & imprison the current oppressors#Trading one oppressive system for another isn't actually all that radical???#Just 'cause you think 'the right people' are being oppressed doesn't make oppressing them okay?#Like I'm a leftist because I believe Literally Everyone should be allowed to live whatever fulfilling life they want#so long they as aren't doing a damage to someone else in order to do so.#Not because I think I think the wrong people are oppressed.#Hm now that I've written this fucking essay on ethics in my tags#I am seeing Bestie & Birdfriend's points...#Birdfriend legit said that I'm the '**smacks others while screaming** BE! KIND! TO! EACH! OTHER!' type of Paladin.#I guess they were right.
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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bad news under the cut
Hey so one of my younger cousins just passed away in a car accident like we just got the call so I'm probably going to be sporadically poofing or manically tied to my blogs as a distraction so just. bear with me for a bit
#cant even put into words how much anger im filled with#not at anyone in particular im just fucking Mad#i wanna kick the shit outta something so fucking bad i got steel toe boots i could do it with no damage done to me#im just#tired#and numb#first my grandma on my birthday in may and now this#kid was only 19 he Just finished school and got a good job#i grew up with him and rn it doesnt feel real because im over 400 miles away#god reality is gonna hit like a fucking brick....#car crash tw#death tw#vent#ooc#im gonna be putting this on all my blogs so sorry for anyone who follows more than one
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I did not intend for book 2 to be 90k+ words, yet here we are 😭
#seriously. book 1 was only around 78k#i knew this one would be longer but i wasn't expecting this#i hit 90k today and i still have a minimum of like 5 chapters to go#all i can think of is how expensive the editing and formatting was for book 1 *sweats*#like. i refuse to let that concern damage the quality of the book or influence the length#but still....tis reality#if you want to do a girl a solid this girl would be super grateful if you would share the post for book 1 so maybe more folks will see it😅#*cues pokemon theme song* GOTTA SELL EM ALL!!!!😭🤣#dragonanne writes a thing#jade torch book 2
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Finally unlocked double enchantments time to make FateSealer
Daedric bow of fuck you
#50% chance to do 205 OF ONE OR MORE ELEMENTAL DAMAGE#the bow looks green due to a mod that doesn’t work properly but I don’t mind#in reality her bow would be more apocrypha themed anyways#melvala lore#skyrim#tesblr#skyrim oc
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I cant really recall anything too interesting. The reason I began to write in a journal was because I wanted to feel like I was taking notes on my enviroment and being all analytical like Marcy Wu from Amphibia. That quickly got boring so it evolved into a regular journal after a few months.
@call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @chipjam and anyone who wants to join! The doors for entering this chain are so open and numerous they threaten the structural integrity of the roof by outnumbering the actual walls 3:1. Similarly, no pressure if someone I tagged doesnt want to participate!
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
#Thanks for tagging!#And I have to agree real-camera your lore is really good and incredibly interesting#I´m gonna shamelessly copy the idea and put my own worldbuilding stuff here if anyone wants to look#I have this universe that is completely external from ours (LoTR style) that has magic. 4 different kinds. They have silly names and each#deal with matter. the mind. living creatures. and energy respectively#So a bunch of geniuses had the great idea to make very powerful robots with a hard-coded passion for learning one type of magic each#(so 4 robots total)#Each robot did it's thing (they have a siblingly relationship btw) and a few decades after they had significantly revolutionized stuff#So now with a quadruple god complex they got a little cocky and decided to make a spell to warp reality itself#An idea known for never going wrong ever#So it goes wrong (gasp) and reality retaliates by damaging the very thing that was damaging it. All 4 kinds of magic.#It almost fully wipes out all magic in the universe#killing almost every single living creature except for some very specifically adapted lifeforms that had evolved in enviroments without#any magic in them (Evolution used magic about as readily as we use nutrients inside our bodies so it's elimination quickly gave everyone a#full body failure). The robots all did their best to survive and 3/4 managed to remain alive but SIGNIFICANTLY weakened and helpless.#2/4 of them had to wait thousands of years until inteligent life-forms evolved again while the other one instead got to wander the life-les#wasteland he helped create :))))))) so good for the psyche#There is quite a bit more (like the somewhat developed magic system I am proud of) but it's much less concise and lengthier to explain#I *will* explain in detail at the slightest provocation though#so if anyone wants to engage in a battle where we throw our worldbuilding/story stuff at eachother my dms are quite open
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