#no one has benefits like these
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When I was heartbroken that my yearly raise did not reflect the amount of work, heart, and passion I put into my job every day, my salaried manager asked, “Is it just about the money? Is that all that matters?”
(Never mind that her husband makes more than enough to support their lifestyle and whatever she makes is just play money)
I replied, “if my needs were met, I wouldn’t care so much. Maybe just my pride would hurt, but you KNOW I struggle to make ends meet. You know I can’t buy a house. I pay through the nose to rent but can’t afford to save even 3% for it. My credit is awful because I can’t pay the debts I was forced into. So yes, right now it’s about the money. It’s about how I give so much of myself here that I’m exhausted but in the end it doesn’t get me further financially.”
I’m passionate about my job because I get to help people. That’s what brings me to work every day. “Is it just about the money for you?”
It felt like a slap when I was already heartbroken.
Capitalism supporters can go fuck themselves.
Best comeback line ever.
#to be fair my manager does not directly influence the pay raise#she’s just the patsy who has to tell people their raise and calm them down when they’re mad#she gets in trouble if the employees go over her head to ask why#my market director is a slimy fuck#the benefits at this job are soooo good though that I can’t leave#no one has benefits like these#they’re better than the gov’t on like 90% of the offerings#and the pay rate is marginally better than what the surrounding area makes#still can’t afford to survive but it’s a step closer
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)
Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.
He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)
Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.
(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)
So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!
Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.
With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.
Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!
It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.
#ecto has a weird effect on them actually. a lot like how danielle drinks ecto to keep her stable#ecto has positive health benefits for gothamites! it boosts their immune system gives them a little more energy makes them less irritable#silly hc but i think its fun#also danny just. thought it was a normal ass interview. the person who hired him was heavily hinting at the criminal element of his job the#whole time. danny just kept thinking man i cant believe all interviews are like this in gotham. every one of the#m asks if im okay lying to cops. i am but its weird i never got asked this in amity#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dead on main#ghost kitchen au#danny fenton#jason todd#kipwrite
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Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin
#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her#and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her#like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop#like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance#and if it benefits them even a little#lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it#and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to#and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced#but it came with Orin and punishments for failing#and her being literallly mind controlled into her#so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it#but then there’s you who pulled her out of that#who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you#and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would#and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it#of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you#that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering#you literally gave her the opposite#she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god#you could be tho#Minthara#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"
this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?
some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.
take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.
and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.
people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.
that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis
#bird original#see also: the murderbot diaries#murderbot does not like to be touched. murderbot does not like touching other people#physical contact is an unpleasant necessity in emergencies or to feign being human (something murderbot also hates)#at one point murderbot uncomfortably offers a hug to someone it cares for because she's upset and needs one --#and she refuses. because she knows it doesn't really want to; she won't ask it to do something it hates for her benefit#& yet murderbot fic often has it learning that touch ~isn't so bad~ and maybe there are a COUPLE people it likes to cuddle with.#the differences between vash in the original trigun anime and trigun stampede --#tristamp!vash is your woobie who hides his sad and traumatized heart under goofy behavior;#who copes and avoids through silly indulgences#2011!vash ... is not that#2011!vash isn't coping or masking. he feels immense grief yes; he also feels immense joy; the two are inseparable#he pursues joy moment to moment because he knows how fleeting each moment is#he loves people so intensely because he knows that he'll lose them -- so he has no time to waste with them#his grief is real and profound; so is his joy#i find that much more compelling and i feel like that's not a character i'd see in today's media environment#anyway#fandom#trauma#fanfic#throwing a golden apple into the tags with this but fuck it we ball
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ive been thinking about taco and balloon forming a little alliance post s1/ pre s2 where they'd (begrudgingly) work together planning on how to break into hotel OJ to steal stuff to take back to their makeshift camp like food, blankets, pillows, etc,,, anything that could be useful to them
#UGH TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE MY DRAFT R U KIDDING ME WROTE A TON#ok let me go over this again as i remember#balloon ends up encountering tacos makeshift camp wandering in the woods#i like to think balloon makes close to zero noise when he walks around#kinda floats around if u will#taco figures she could use this to get balloon to sneak into hotel oj to get her stuff#well. she tells balloon its “for the benefit of both”#balloon and taco parallel eachother in so much#both of them put up a “mask” as a strategy to further into the game which lead to both of them losing all of their relationships after s1#although both of them eventually ended up feeling guilty for what they did it took taco much longer#i think their alliance worked decently well for a while but balloons guilt and need to apologize is what drove them apart#by the time of that one scene s2 ep7 where balloon goes up to apologize and has his conversation with oj they'd already drifted apart#i think I'll doodle some more stuff with them eventually im still waiting to my charger to come in the maaaailllll#all of this has probably already been pointed out but im having fun and they've been on my mind a lot lately#so#shrugs#im screaming into the void#ii taco#ii balloon#inanimate insanity
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zhongli and neuvillette fighting over their reader 🤭🤭
scary dog privilege wherever you go, draconic courting gestures that would scare any regular person, they send each other deadly glares the moment you turn away,
stealing your clothes to just get a whiff of your scent, marking their territory all over your house - making it a battlefield basically, neuvillette (in my hc) is cooler and zhongli is warm so the cuddles are always so comfy ☺️😍,
they give you anything you want - you don't even have to lift a finger, they make you travel between the nations a lot though 😒 sooo clingyyy, extra gentle in their dragon forms as to not squish you, don't even get me started on the size difference 😍😍
just a little thought 🤭☺️
- 🐈⬛
Neuvi being colder is so real and canon. I see him as being colder + a lot more lithe, kinda lanky with smaller but sharper canines versus Zhongli who's warmer and a bit shorter then Neuvi + bulkier with bigger but not as sharp canines.
They've also got very different habits – Zhongli is very prideful not just of himself but his nation. He'll personally give your a tour and purposely drag it out as long as he can. Complimenting Liyue is basically complimenting him, checkmate Neuvi. Especially if he convinces you to try on some local Liyue fashion. Harmless and just a nice gift to anyone else but Neuvi sees it for what it is (since your wearing something from Liyue, technically wearing something of his. He loves his technicalities when it comes to staking a claim over you). Adds salt to the wound by touching you in totally innocent ways like to adjust you towards something he wants to show you or accidently brushing against you when he takes the bags of spoils he's practically drowning you in but really he's just making sure his scent sticks. He's just a sweet, nice gentleman with absolutely no ulterior motives trust.
Neuvillette does love Fontaine, but his habits are more about himself then the nation. He'll take you around if you ask or if the idea strikes him, but you'll probably stay around the making city area or the opera house specifically. He enjoys more personal time with just you and him then anything else. He values the immaterial to the material. Zhongli spoils you with gifts, but Neuvi tries to offer quality time irregardless of physical gifts (though he still gives them just not to the extent of Zhongli). He'll take you to see different operas if that's to your fancy, or leverage a bit of his authority to maybe see a few films since those seem to be hitting off in Fontaine recently. Bet that creaky old archon doesn't have those huh. He feels awkward if you want to watch a trial, but he'll reluctantly agree because. well. it's you. just don't wave or anything he's trying to work and he just Really wants to see you smile at him like that again and it makes him lose his train of thought. gets custom clothes designed by Chiori to replace your clothes from Liyue because they smell of Zhongli and it makes him sulky + he likes to match.
G-d forbid these two are in the same room as you because it's a war of attrition at that point. Constant accidental brush of the hand against your shoulder or elbow but it's just them trying to get rid of the others scent. they are side eyeing each other behind your back while being all smiles whenever your looking. If it's hot and you lean into Neuvi more he's practically GLOWING. not even smug he's just absolutely smitten and happy to be of service. immediately takes off his gloves and presses his hands to your face asking if your okay and if you want to go back with him. if it's cold out and you seek out Zhongli more hes smug as hell beneath the calm veneer. Offers you his coat and stay as physically close to you as he can under the pretense of being worried you'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm you up.
don't even get me started on your house either because you probably have tons of gifts from both of them accumulated everywhere. if Neuvi sees you use a tea set from Zhongli suddenly he had a fantastic gift idea he thought you'd like. he even got some tea included with it so why don't you let him make you some? Zhongli sees you using a goblet Neuvi gave you (totally a coincidence it's similar to his) and suddenly you have 27 square cups in your cabinets that you have no idea where they came from. if the goblet is mysteriously missing oh well. who knows :]
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#asks#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#is this actually cult au?? csnt tell tagging it anyway#its like 1 am brain not working#🐈⬛ anon#shaking them both like shaker charms#zl feels more possessive too. neuvi is possessive but i dont think snyone could get near zl level of possessiveness#its like having two cats constantly trying to get your attention.#neuvi is more mellow imo so hes not as intense in the rivalry but sometimes he feels PETTY#only if it actually benefits you though because you still come first even if he cant stand zl snd hes not dragging you into it#zl has no issue tossing out gifts neuvi gives you unless your REALLY attached to it but neuvi probably wouldnt yknow..#sometimes neuvi is just clueless he did not gaf abt zl at first he was just smitten with you. he did not want 2 get involved in this rivalry#but hes still a little possessive snd having you come back smelling like zl dressed in clothes from liyue with other gifts from zl..#it rained for like a week straight he was in shambles. acted like a kicked puppy until zl scent was gone 😭#also theres a joke somewhere here abt zl snd his square cups..hm.#just clingy possessive dragons trying to subtly be the only one you pay attention to 🫡#this has been my loser girlfail neuvi propaganda post enjoy
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it's watermelon 🍉
#komahinanami#Kuzuhina#hinasouda#It doesnt have to be just one. Hajime has 10 fingers AND 10 toes#The brotherhood ring isnt like marriage because you dont get tax benefits and theres no legal documents bc it's illegal#You DO get a free pass to most criminal activities and a sugar daddy. and yknow lifelong partnerhood#Every time kaz gives Hajime a new ring pop it's like they're renewing their vows :) and it's cheaper!#Hajime hinata#Sdr2#Super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa 2#Danganronpa#An art#I'll rb this later. After I clean the bathroom
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For the record I think Vox is being effected and possibly swayed by Val’s poison just like Angel is, the pink signifying it on Angel shows up on Voxs screen during and after interacting and being influenced by Val directly, when Vox is operating independently it isn’t an actual normal feature of his
This paired with an earlier moment from episode 2 when Val first mentioned something had happened with Angel Dust, Vox seemed happy about the idea of Angel quitting
“He quit? :D”
It’s interesting for sure, makes me wonder what Vox actually thinks about Angel, and more importantly, actually thinks about Valentino. He’s a business man, and clearly the Vees all teamed up (at least initially) because it helps elevate their status and power spread, they may be friendly with each other but we as an audience don’t actually know if there’s more to it as of now. But still, interesting
#personally I think Vox is afraid#He clearly has some defensive traits about his status and feels the need to prove a point no one even questioned yet#I wonder if he knows on some level. that if he were to falter he could very well end up in a situation like Angels#I think once we see more of how Velvette’s actual relationship with Val is we’ll have a better picture of what’s going with them#but one thing is for sure. Val is *manipulative*. and he’ll take what he wants no matter the consequences. Vox is able to calm Val down but#that could be having a rebound effect on Vox in the long run. keeping him in check. I doubt Val would stick up for either of them anyways#not unless it directly benefited him#I hope it gets touched on in some way bc I love the other two Vs characters and want to see Val squashed like the grimy insect he is but#ya know#in an in character making sense sorta way#cats chatterbox#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel Vox
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Prompt 195
“Oh. It’s you.”
The entity that had been summoned practically growled, a cloak like swirling galaxies- or was it swirling galaxies molded into a cloak- shimmering around their form. One pair of arms crossed over a chest where a star pulsed with the heartbeat of universes, alive yet dying as lazarus green eyes glowered down at the league and bats alike.
“You know you could, fucking call, right?” they whined, aura of terror suddenly broken, unnatural fear torn away and leaving all of them wrong-footed and confused.
Well, apparently all of them except for Ras, who had an honest to fuck grin on his face, one that looks almost carefree, if a little feral. Nope. No thanks. Not this timeline-
“But phones didn’t exist last we spoke, ya ‘amar.”
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#Prompts#Danny got sent to the past by Clockwork for a vacation/training the first time he met Ras#They became rivals of sorts and just kept meeting up#Did they maybe fall in love as well? No one knows but them#On the other hand Ras did get his main Lazarus Pit as a wedding gift#and both Ellie & Dan were half raised like weird siblings/cousins to Ras’ kids#do with that as you will#Fellas is it gay to call your eternal rival your moon?#Ras for once wasn’t doing anything evil- though he’s a horrible person#A good dad yeah but a good person? Eh Danny has gotten used to it and finds him hilarious#They have matching death humor to their past teachers’ dismay and horror#They’ve gotten divorced seven separate times and gotten married three#Depends on the century#half of the time it was either done drunk or for tax benefits
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Adding twilight to my very exclusive list of "men I would marry despite me being a lesbian"
#the list so far consists of addam from xenoblade 2#dunban from xenoblade 1#and now twilight#congrats dude welcome to the vip miry club#miry's yapping#i do hc twi as a butch but like if we go with canon twi then yeah he's one of the few dudes i would marry#like we can be married for tax benefits while i kiss zelda and he kisses midna and we live in a farm#and i have dogs and cats and he has his goats#and we finally put a bed somewhere in that tree house of his cause what the fuck dude
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Riz has counted four casseroles this week alone. Five, if one goes by the method of cooking, but Yelen's scary when she's crossed, and calling her burek by its proper name is important to her, so Riz does her the courtesy and doesn't include it in his mental tally.
He holds the tupperware over his head to keep it out if the way as he takes careful steps over the piles of notes in his path. The dockman case just closed, relevant documentations handed over to relevant personnels, evidences dealt with as needed; all he has lying around now is just record of the process and traces of himself thinking through it. Unsurprisingly they still haven't invented a surface more convenient for people under five feet who like to pace to put pieces of paper on than the ground.
Actual records go into the case folder with the other documents. Anything else with at least one side still blank is going to the school kids in the block - they chew through an astounding amount of paper just learning arithmetic. The rest is for the recycling basket.
Later. It's his mandated lunch break right now.
Riz sits down in front of the corner file cabinet. In an office often overrun with papers and strings and sometimes even thumbtacks, he's never really managed to clutter up this exact square of surface like every other ones. Ever since the bottom drawer rattled for no discernible reason a day long past, his eyes have always just kinda decided to slide across the space without acknowledging it.
It's years out, now. Riz doesn't know why he thought it such a big deal anymore, back then. He wasn't scared, he doesn't think. Not anymore. Maybe just uncomfortable with the idea that certain things persist despite all efforts to change.
He opens the tupperware. Dame Carabelle's experiment greets him with enough spice in the aroma alone to knock out a small mammal. When he chopped the vegetables for this casserole he couldn't really imagine the eventual heft of it, evident even through just these few ladles' worth, maybe weighing heavier for being still warm. His folk eat more through the smell and the textures and the aftertastes than the taste itself. His folk's meal is really the cooking rather than the eating. The eating is the meal's end.
"Hey," he tells the file cabinet's bottom drawer. "Um."
It's the anniversary. Riz doesn't know the exact date of his dad's death; nobody currently alive does. He and Mom both use the date of the funeral, though as he moved out to Bastion and then got more directly involved with Interplanar he hasn't really been going to Dad's grave as much. Doesn't seem like very efficient use of his time, catching a train or borrowing a car or spending a whole spell slot on going somewhere he knows Dad isn't at. They're sorta coworkers now. They talk on and off every other week between missions. When he goes now, it's just to clean up the place, keeping the landmark tidy and respectable.
Without that work to mark the date he doesn't really know what it serves anymore. But he still remembers it. Still takes note, absently or not, when it comes around.
There's not really a good way to tell the drawer that. Riz looks for another way to start the... conversation, hopefully. The question at play, he'd guess, is why he's doing this. He's been pretty content ignoring all the rattlings and the knocks from inside and the times it sits slightly ajar without him ever opening it himself; hell, he still uses the three drawers on top of it. Space is fucking precious in Bastion.
Precious enough to finally fix this damn drawer so he gets his turn to use it? Riz asks himself. Is that what we're getting to? Then he dismisses the thought - he didn't manage to fix it the times he actually tried, let alone-- now. When he doesn't really care that much to.
That's probably a good place to start. "'s fine if you keep being in there, turns out," Riz says.
The lunch hours are quiet in the block, sleepy and bright with the brief window of sunlight that manages to break through roof overhangs and extended balconies and laundry lines and climbing vines. Riz's work isn't loud here (the loud parts happen away from his office, if everything goes right), but the fragment of early summer heat reflected in the steady warmth his meal still carries compels him to lower his voice even more. It makes the words feel intimate, in a way he's never been familiar with - if he says something he just says it. He doesn't whisper. If he gives his friends something, he gives it open-palm. He's found out, along the way, that people usually don't think of rituals and courtesies the way he does.
Small voice for a diminished monster. "You know why I think so?" Riz asks. "Because almost two decades ago you kidnapped me and almost killed me, and now you rattle a drawer in my office."
It doesn't sound as much like a taunt as Riz wanted it to; the drawer has made a lot of noises again this morning when he checked the calendar, and he was definitely annoyed at it. Now, though, facing it like this after cooking the whole morning with more grandparents and peers from the block than he can count on both hands to cater for a tenant union meeting, he thinks the annoyance has morphed. Changed shape.
It has the shades of something like pity. Riz is not prone to pity, and especially not at these kinda matters. It's slightly maddening that he coheres perfectly outside of this one spot. That he commands his spaces, except for a drawer.
He puts the tupperware onto the floor between himself and the cabinet. "I know we're aware it's the anniversary," he says at the drawer. "You do this every year. You make a ruckus every time I decide to go do my job instead of mooching off my friends' aircon, and every time I get an invitation to some stupid social thing I want to turn down, and every time one of the old people tries to introduce me to a child or a nibling, because being a bachelor over thirty is weird," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have three fucking jobs. I love doing my fucking jobs. I'm forcing funds into infrastructures. You're never leaving, are you."
The drawer vibrates lightly. It's a very, very mild acknowledgement, considering the history of reactions Riz has gotten from this thing. Riz thinks it's emanating joyous agreement, or satisfaction.
It only sharpens the pity. Riz doesn't like that, but it's how it is. That's, ultimately, the lesson he's been taught over and over and over again, just by existing as himself, turned every which way by space after space that don't see him eye-to-eye: it's not like he'd quit living over any of it. It's not like any of it can sand off these fundamental pieces of him.
He's outgrown a lot of things, he's found out. Again, and again, and again. A childhood home, a yearly trip, a monster.
"'s probably scary for you, huh?" He asks. "Because I left."
He thinks he hears joints creak that sound like you did. Probably the way a scorned lover would say it, in a movie or a yellowback. He has no more connection to the idea than he did as a kid. Less, because it doesn't even scare him.
"That's what it is, right? That it's the anniversary, and I'll never be like Dad." He raises a knee from the floor, pulls it back closer to him. Slings an arm over it. "You love to remind me. The thing is, Dad also left. He loved Mom and he loved me, and none of us wanted it to happen, but it still did. Because love does fuckall to make anyone stay on its own."
He's long past being bitter about it. It's just the facts. Once upon a time he looked into the future and the specter of his friends' happily-ever-after casted lightless, fathomless shadow over him. Love, marriage, that kind of devotion, to a fifteen-year-old with more solved cases than friends seemed so eternal. Final.
But you can only watch your friends build up apps' worth of jilted lovers for so long before getting over it.
"You know what I learned?" Riz tells the drawer. "Love doesn't make anyone stay. Project management does."
He stands up, and picks up the tupperware of Dame Carabelle's casserole, that he helped make, that he helped share with a block's worth of neighbors and members of a community he's at home with, and goes sit at his desk to eat. "Last chance to get any," he drops an offer over his shoulder as he walks away.
He doesn't eat all of his share in one go. What he's spared he leaves on the desk when going outside for a smoke break. Baron looks the exact same as when he saw them last, when he catches a glimpse; they haven't grown at all. They aren't there when he comes back inside, but the leftover has gone days-old cold, like someone's sucked the future out of it.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#this is set a Long time into the future. riz is like 32 in this one#''I will go to sleep'' so turns out that was a fucking lie#lmao I just needed to finally externalize this idea into Some kind of more final form#initially I aimed for a comic with this but ooughgoughhh I am. indisposed. unable to do that rn#and also I feel like there would just be too fucking much Riz Saying Words in that format for it to work. and I always go if theres so much#words in ur comic might as well make it a fic. and well. heeding my own advice perhaps#just been sitting on this sentiment of like. perceiving romantic relationships as uniquely permanent or conclusive#when the vast majority of people I know would hugely benefit from a divorce lmao#since watching fhjy at least. I think in a sense this is kind of my personal answer for that sticky note style comic I did way back thens#how much of that fear of being deprioritized comes from not being taken care of by the community you're in#I think that's the prettiest answer I can give for riz's deal. not one singular Special Person no matter the kind of flavour#but spaces that he's integrated in. that he has a hand in building even#okay NOW I sleep. everyone be quiet ok small voice for good sleep. it wont be a lie this time I prommy
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Millie's experience with IMP puts a lot into perspective to me, so get ready for another Striker analysis
I'm not sure if many people remember, but Striker was offered to work at IMP. IMP, the business that an imp started on his own that Striker himself admits is impressive, where imps can live up to their full potential, and is even named after the race. People constantly try to explain that working for rich people doesn't make him a hypocrite because "HE NEEDS THE MONEY AHEOHRBEVW" and "HE LIVES IN A MINESHAFT!!1!11!" But he had the perfect opportunity to not only make a decent living but also work amongst other imps and be part of a family, but instead he rejects that in favor of working with the rich assholes he hates so much (one of which is even more classist than his target) while committing lateral violence against other imps. He'd rather do that than actually advocate for change or support other imps... because, like I've said a million times, he does not care about other members of his race. Just himself
#reminder that stella is not the only rich person that striker has worked for#crim is also a greedy rich asshole and striker is implied to be the one who came to him rather than vice versa#yes crim is also an imp but still a rich greedy and presumably a capitalist soooo#this juxtaposes stolas who gets along better with other imps rather than other goetias#whereas striker associates more with rich assholes more than his own race#he also tries to convince blitz to give up everything he's worked for#almost like he doesn't actually gaf about advocacy for change or anything and is only working for the benefit for himself#y'all have got to stop pretending striker gaf about other imps#hellaverse#helluva boss#helluva#hb#striker#striker helluva#striker helluva boss#helluva striker#helluva boss striker#helluva blitzo#blitzo helluva boss#blitz#blitzo#helluva boss blitz#helluva millie#millie helluva boss
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Don't get too attached
#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due#to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she#had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid#suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit#to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play#his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I#had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides#Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again#brakul red dog
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SHOWSTARS
Working on the asks again, but have this colored piece of SMG16 and RTV!Puzzles for now. Their duo name is SHOWSTARS (or BLUESCREEN if we take the angst path).
Please note that SMG16 belongs to @birdy-four and that these two are meant to be seen as STRICTLY PLATONICAL!
Anyway enough yapping!
#Nvm I’m gonna yap here#SMG16 is probably the single person in that brainwashed world that looks up to RTV with genuine admiration and amazement#Which may be because he comes from another universe and has no clue what happened in the RTV!AU#He of course notices that something is off sometimes but RTV is keeping him mostly shielded#Because as much as RTV tried to convince himself of the opposite#Brainwashing ppl into admiring him isn't really satisfying him#So he keeps 16 around#Even treats him waaay better than others#Because he’s desperate for that genuine admiration 16 gives him#BLUESCREEN is a Concept where 16 finds out what kind of messed up things RTV did#All that admiration he had for RTV is replaced by doubt#RTV meanwhile gets hit by some very unexpected depression when he realizes how much 16 means to him after he leaves#Which ultimately leads him to cope horribly like he always does and figures he has to get rid of 16 to get rid of those feelings#ANYWAY#I nearly drew RTV too soft in this lmao#He’s still a jerk and bad person#But he may be genuinely happy when 16 is around#Which tbh is probably only a benefit to him and no one else lmao#mr puzzles#smg4#mr. puzzles#smg4 puzzlevision#smg4 mr puzzles#smg4 au#smg4 tv adware#smg4 fanart#reality tv au#rtv au#SHOWSTARS
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Unpopular Opinion:
Sometimes Jaya has good moments, I'm not going to deny it, but... tbh neither the show nor the fandom really give equal treatment to both characters, and that's what really distances me from the ship. If Nya isn't being left behind for Jay to have character development (S6), then Nya is turned into a perfect girlboss who can do everything well and without any interesting characteristics while Jay is reduced to the male wife and adorable man-child, or basically the character that Nya was afraid to become in the first seasons.
The only Jaya I'm interested in is both of them being powerful, silly and pathetic, give Nya more than being the "perfect girl" and Jay being the loser please, there's nothing interesting about that
#One of the reasons Nya is an interesting character is because of her flaws#There is Jaya in the fanon that I do like because they recognize this#but in general I almost never feel that this ship has... a narrative benefit to both characters idk how to say it#Imo the worst moments of both always have to do with Jaya#This is just a vent because I've been wanting to put my thoughts on this ship in order for a while now. so if you want to elaborate do it
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