#no one can convince me that woman is straight
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calling reality propaganda bc you want to deny reality and deny the evil act men commit daily. Just few hours ago, a random woman is set on fire by a MAN she doesn’t know. https://youtu.be/1S4SyMsBNSc?si=xeitKjSKoLmYNumf
you ask what do men benefit from oppressing and harming women ? Does evil need reason ? You men enjoy harming women, causing women endless pain and suffering. Hating you men is justified!
you men hate to see women happy, and living life. Seeing women alive causes you men to be raging demons. Notice whenever you ask men why they don’t rape, they say they don’t want to risk going to jail. Not bc they believe it is morally wrong but they fear they might face consequences of their evil acts. Without control and law these men would have no issue raping women and girls. We see online men proudly admit that. Thus wishing death on men, is self preservation.
“Again, you have to say "women didn't do that" because you recognize it does in fact make sense and as I said, it has as much evidence for it as your system does. Nothing I described was wrong or atleast it can't be disproven”
it doesn’t have much evidence at all, you just wrote nonsense! You did mental gymnastics to blame women for the actions of men, and said see women are to blame for misogyny and all the harm men have caused women. Pointing fingers at women is men’s favorite activity !
“I know all of this is lost on you because you are unable to conceive of an existence different from the one youve been told.”
this is comical coming from a male that is using all type of false reasoning and straight up lies to blame women for everything while denying all the evil shit men have committed.
“I know all of this is lost on you because you are unable to conceive of an existence different from the one youve been told.”
all you men are goat fuckers, just recently 4 men ganged raped lizard and then ate it.
“Like read what you've written and ask yourself, would this convince me if I wasn't already convinced? What are you appealing to? What even is the point of this. I think you know it won't convince me. So what's the goal?”
you should be asking yourself that! Read what you wrote, you think you are trying to convince anyone? The only thing you are doing is making sure more women hate men. You know your bitching would not convince me, so what is your goal! the only thing I have gotten from your post is my hate for men increased more. The length and reasoning men will use to blame women for being oppressed , abused, raped and killed is boundless. wishing harm and death to men is only way bc men don’t react to kindness or compassion! They are demonic creatures and should be treated as one. Like I said, my life goal is to make sure the men around me suffer and self off. That is the least I can do for the evilness your kind has caused.
why do women always have to be the bigger person? why don’t men just stop “joking” abt raping us?
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IDC what anyone else says, becoming more of a transfeminist has only made me MORE convinced that transmasc people have it hard too. it is one of the axioms of feminism that women are allowed to aspire to the aesthetics of masculinity as long as they never actually achieve it, and for men to aspire to femininity is sacrilege. and you see that in the way media portrays transmasc and transfem characters. Transmasc characters are always trying to be masculine as a front. they talk with deep voices, hang out with "the guys". but they are never allowed to actually achieve it. they can never be muscular. they can never be assertive. they can never have facial hair. They must always be short and soft. Conversely, trans women must NEVER have any hint that they are AMAB. they also cannot have facial hair, or body hair. Their voices must always be high and lilting, but in that way that's immediately clockable so no one could mistake them for a ""real"" woman. they cannot be strong or aggressive or anything even vaguely associated with men. Or, alternatively, if they're transfem nonbinary, they're just gay men with colorful hair, since everybody knows gay men are basically just women already. And of course, masc lesbians aren't real, don't worry straight men. a butch is just what you call a conventionally attractive woman wearing a sports jersey. At the end of the day, queer people of all types are accepted only as long as we can be relegated to the category of "Feminine but weird". That way, none of us can ever be any threat to the sanctity of the Holy Masculine. None of us are men or have anything to do with men. And while we squabble over who has it the worst, the patriarchy lives on.
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The day people on Tiktok learn about media literacy is the day i can finally rest, but alas they have not, guess what bullshit they’re on about today!
I saw an edit of the I.M.P. customer from Sinsmas, so far so good, then i open the comment section, and am suddenly reminded that people are stupid.
“She kinda had a point” no tf she didn’t😭😭 What are you on about, genuinely?? You can enjoy a villainous character who’s clearly a bad person without having to make up excuses for their shitty behavior.
The woman is violently homophobic, she made plenty of jabs about gay people in that short conversation, and claimed her husband “probably cheated” but it was so clear to me that she got pissy because he divorced her and then got with a man, and she already had preconceived notions about homosexuals.
I’m convinced they watched the episode with their eyes closed, because a person legit said “oh but she said nothing about hating gay people”. Maybe if you’re straight, it might’ve gone over your head, but she said, verbatim, “He doesn’t deserve to live this heinous lifestyle and poison my daughters with it” clearly referring to him being gay😭
Her husband did not cheat, she just hates gay people, but Stolas is still in that self-hatred mode which is just heightened by the lack of medication for god knows how long, which is why he took it to heart. And people on Tiktok love the narrative that they (as in Stolitz) cheated and somehow that’s the worst moral thing they’ve done in the show, must i remind you that they kill people??
For the last fucking time, whether or not what Stolas did counts as cheating, Stella did not give a shit. Had he done it with a (female) Goetia, she would’ve probably only cared about taking a slight hit on her reputation, but since not only did he do it with a man, but with an IMP at that, she felt embarrassed because she only cares about her social status. Easy as that. She said it herself.
They were never in love, Stolas was never straight, and never pretended to be. Do y’all not remember EP1S2 which legit establishes the fact that they were arranged?? And that Stella is an abusive piece of shit? So regardless, she gets no sympathy from me for being “cheated on”, since the cruelty started way before Stolas and Blitz met again.
No, they couldn’t have divorced earlier, Stolas only gained enough confidence to go through with it and finally stand up for himself AFTER and BECAUSE of Blitz. Also he most likely wanted Via to reach 18, but as we all saw he couldn’t sustain these lies anymore at the end of that episode. And while the divorce made him free, there’s still consequences, especially with the custody, so tell me a way he could’ve escaped this nightmare without being “morally incorrect”. Perhaps death. Would you have preferred that? After all, the only perfect victim is a dead one.
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This will never be unfunny to me. The way this whole panel was just them shipping valcarol and then they pull out the most GAY ASS POSES EVER. Brie and Tessa are feeding the lesbians 👏👏
#valcarol#marvel#carol danvers#captain marvel#king valkyrie#carol x valkyrie#the marvels#mcu#brie larson#tessa thompson#ITS SO FUNNY TO ME#they’re so silly sometimes#the best duo ever#I love them your honor#<33#the peace signs are everything#also the fact that Brie could not sit in a chair properly#no one can convince me that woman is straight#chaiposts
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I'm going to say this, and with my full chest. I'm also going to be speaking from an American perspective-- as a Black gay woman.
"Recreation" was never intended for anyone not white, not straight, and not a man. This is the root of why we're even having these conversations. This in-fighting.
Whether people wanted to escape into art, music, reading, acting, exercise and sports, drinking, you name it -- it was a fight to be allowed in the same space, let alone participate -- if you were not a straight white man.
I don't have capacity to talk about all the ways in which this has shown itself, and if you're curious reach out to me and I'm happy to lead you in the right direction.
The reason why many of these folks are so viscerally angry about women playing video games. PoC playing video games. Queer people playing video games-- is because now that gatekeept space is being threatened. Everyone can enjoy a thing, when it used to be illegal at one point (Black people legally weren't even allowed to play golf or go fucking swimming. Women weren't allowed to ride bikes or go to a bar.).
This shift to the status quo is why we're in such a social discord now. Why people are so angry about the most mundane thing (a non-white character that's technically a bunch of 1s & 0s). The idea that others also want to relax. Others want rest. Others want peace. That others can find all those things in hobbies and interests (mostly white dudes) thought were only for THEM. This is threatening because they've also convinced themselves ONLY people like them like said thing (because they forced their own space where other people weren't allowed, it's just confirmation bias), and understanding that the people they've been telling themselves act in only a specific way and like specific things is threatened...their world is threatened. And by golly, if they've been wrong about women and Black people this entire time -- what else are they wrong about?
The government cares about you? Sharing your salary is unpolite? The police are there to care about you? That capitalism isn't killing us all? That you'll totally be taken care of when you get sick and it's gonna be easy to get potentially life saving care?
No. No. It's the woke agenda that is wrong.
A lot of negative “critiques” of Veilguard are just bigotry. You’re loudly and happily repeating racism and misogyny and homophobia and acting like it’s good media literacy.
It’s absurd to me so many of my mutuals are getting harassed and bullied off of other sites because actual Nazis have invaded the Dragon Age fandom and so many people can’t see past their vitriol to recognize that.
If you are angry about Veilguard, and I mean angry angry, you need to sincerely sit down and ask yourself why you’re so mad at a video game that made so many marginalized people feel seen. Because I gotta tell you seeing people cry cause Solas didn’t get to do more war crimes as a member of those communities is a red flag. Cheering on a would-be colonizer and claiming revolution? Really?
Get the fuck over it. The writing isn’t bad. The game isn’t bad.
The problem is you.
#dragon age#veilguard#datv#wake the fuck up#I went off topic#but I digress#this is the root of it#its not about video games at this point#take your gamer moment and shove it#fandom critical#cw: racism#social political take#black gamers#social politics
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My gf was listening to "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons and I once again told her that song is SO much better if it's gay.
She doesn't listen to the lyrics of songs but she's extremely good at literary analysis and this time she actually looked up the lyrics and has now come to the following conclusion: "It makes no sense if it's not gay."
My (objectively best) reading is this:
The narrator was in love with a guy who strung him along, never willing to be in a committed (or public) relationship with him and maybe insisting that it's extremely heterosexual "helping a bro out" sex, except in more intimate moments. Finally out of nowhere guy is suddenly committed to a woman and when Narrator confronted him, guy spat out homophobic vitriol and claimed he's not gay like the Narrator.
(For extra flavor imagine them as closeted, straight passing Midwestern flannel wearing, love-bonfires-and-camping guys who sat next to each other at church and elbowed and annoyed each other like best friends do and were each other's go-to source of emotional support! And then to suddenly shut Narrator out for the first time ever, by abruptly marrying a woman and insisting that he's always been straight and their relationship meant nothing...)
Here are the lyrics:
Can you lie next to her And give her your heart, your heart As well as your body? And can you lie next to her And confess your love, your love As well as your folly? And can you kneel before the king And say, "I'm clean! I'm clean!" ? But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage You did not think When you sent me to the brink, to the brink You desired my attention But denied my affections, my affections So tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life Oh, lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life
Why call multiple people "you" in a totally unclear way? Why would you claim that your female ex's new man can't love her AT ALL (not just as much as you did, AT ALL)? And invoking the judgment of God is so fucking tedious if you're just shaming your female ex for moving on or even cheating/getting with your friend. Also you look like a creepy asshole if you think a girl broke up with you for "loving her too much".
This song is tepid, badly written, and makes the narrator look like an asshole if it's NOT gay.
The gay reading is the ONLY compelling one.
#i don't even care about m/m romances lmao i get bored when there's no women BUT#this is objectively the best reading#anyways my gf and I came up with the main beats for an entire romance story about these guys#as a dyke raised in the church i really like the religious midwestern reading here too#also there's SUCH a phenomenon of guys having secret sex out in these rural areas and insisting even to themselves it's not gay#so this reading is very compelling to me#i also like to think the woman is like fine. there's nothing wrong with her she's sweet and friends with both of them.#gf said what if she's Narrator's sister?#like i think it's better narrative wise if the woman has no idea and isn't trying to 'turn him straight'#bc the ex CHOSE this. he caved and all so he can stand before God and insist he's 'clean'#which to me... very very resonant#updates on my boring life#also I think the ex can be either bi or gay like it doesn't matter because either way Narrator is convinced ex loves HIM still n not wifey#god i could go line by line but no one wants that lmao it's extremely funny that i fixated on this#i did not even know it was a mumford and sons song or that they are british until gf told me both facts today#i am in no way a fan#im jsut a sucker for religion flavored gay angst i guess or at least this variety of it
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how do I get over the feeling of being a bad Bisexual Woman when I used to think I preferred men, had more sexually intense desire for them, and wanted to marry a man but still desired a casual fling with a woman back then when now, since then, after the only sexual touch I've gotten in my 30 years of life is from a woman, I am essentially a febfem wrt a long term situation, and want to marry a woman. I feel like I'm betraying this hypothetical person in my head bc I didn't always feel this way 😭
#biphobia#febfem#i thought i was straight for so long but ive never even kissed a man#i really think i may never have sex with a man#kind of a shame in some ways bc im curious about it- but i could also be wrong#like maybe i will meet a man that i like that much idk#i just accidentally got into some shit on reddit with lesbians not liking me bc of this as some of my friends know jskgdhs#and i tried so hard so long to not offend anyone and i still did#like i made a post about meeting women in the Wild and they found an old post of mine where#i was asking in the bi subreddit a year ago if anyone prefers one sex in the sense their attraction feels more intense- and i genuinely#thought i just felt that way about men??? but when i went out with a woman i realized oh nvm ive never felt this way dating men#i was convinced i wanted to marry a man before overall#even if i was bisexual#which took me a long time to consider myself bisexual#and i didnt wanna yell about it bc it would be rather irrelevant if im only serious about guys bc i DO know some bi women like that#irl. which is fine... anyone can do what they want
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Thinking about that "If K*ylo R*n were a woman everything would be better and this character would have worked" post, but after some consideration...I genuinely would have still hated this character.
Like...Idk maybe there's something to be said for the still-subversive nature of characters like this being allowed to be horrible women, but I don't hate this character because he's horrible, or even because he exemplifies a bunch of things in fiction I'm tired of seeing, I hate him because he doesn't feel fully-formed as a character to me and I don't think the movies know what they're trying to accomplish with him from a narrative standpoint (which are, imo, the biggest Story Sins a writer can commit). All of which would still hold true if this character were a woman.
#I WILL say. this character wouldn't be as popular as they are (and they ARE popular. fandom is not just limited to pockets of tumblr) if#they were a woman. nor would The Popular Ship be r*ylo. that's not me scaremongering about misogyny that's just. true.#we have SEEN that be true again and again and again#the OTHER thing about this character is that...I feel like he was MEANT to come across as#'he's so tortured and pained and complicated' but then they never did anything to SHOW ME THAT COMPLEXITY#if I look at like...(idk using another Tortured Male Character Who Did Bad Things) Theon. I can get from point a to point b with him.#I SEE the things that influenced him and I SEE how he got to a point where he thought acting the way he did was the only way forward.#I do not see that with. the other guy (sorry I am trying SO hard to make sure this doesn't accidentally end up in the character tag)#you either need to show me where the 'horrible'-ness comes from or you need to commit to the character just choosing to be horrible#not every character needs to have some Deep Reason Why they do what they do (like they can literally just be evil it's fine) but you can't#try to convince me there IS a Deep Reason Why and then NOT EVER SHOW ME THAT REASON#they (meaning sequel trilogy) like...sort of tried? a little? I guess? but the 'trying' was...barely anything and then they#didn't ever fully COMMIT to it.#THAT'S the problem I have.#(the 'not following through on alleged complexity' is also one of the big problems I have with [character I also hate but whose#name I'm not saying for reasons of self-preservation])#and yeah maybe because of Subconscious Bias they WOULDN'T have been so wishy-washy on how Deep or sympathetic™ this character's#motivations were if they'd been a woman maybe they really WOULD have just made her straight-up evil with no Underlying Reason#(which yeah that WOULD have worked better for me I think?) but if we are saying 'this character is exactly the same but a woman'#.......no sorry. unfortunately a female character I can't defend this time.#(and I DID think about this. like 'do I hate this character due to a knee-jerk reaction toward men--even fictional ones--I consider to be#threatening/because he reminds me of people I don't like irl' or 'do I prioritize Hating Men' but...no I truly would just#hate this character regardless)#like I really do think my biggest pet peeve is when the story/creator themselves tries to hit me over the head with 'this character is#so COMPLICATED and DEEP and PSYCHOLOGICALLY INTRICATE' and then not ever actually PROVING that to me
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this would be so funny to send as a middle-aged wife whenever your good for nothing husband who fell either into addiction or abusiveness when he got laid off in 2008 starts acting up but you’re 55 looking 45 and he’s ambiguously in his 60s and unlike him you didn’t age out of your sense of humor and ability to socialize so he just has to humble himself and shut up
image found while on google images ©
#DONT come at me like UMMM he’d just kill her!!!#i’m gonna be the one calling not all men on that#not because soo many of them would draw the line at violence obviously that’s untrue#but because some of them are aware that going into their mid 60s mildly obese with a spending habit and unfortunate disposition…#doesn’t exactly make them a hot prospect for any woman who isn’t tied to him by finances and familiarity#and not all of them are willing to kill themselves too and the ones who know how pathetic they are also know how they’d fare in prison.#anyways. RIP to my mother and aunt whose husbands im talking about#altho my aunts husband is a piece of shit and he can’t die soon enough#he’s not strictly an abuser to my knowledge but he’s a parasitic piece of shit#who straight up did not care when his wife was dying did nothing for her n o t h i n g my mom & her sibs took care of her#he didn’t even do like whatever couple of things mightve gotten her insurance and kept them from bankruptcy#refused to try.#now he’s got ass cancer and was disabled by an ass cancer induced stroke and she is his sole caregiver#vermin. vermin. vermin.#i went to more of her chemo infusions than him. i was 12.#my father is not that bad he’s just generally unpleasant like many men#people who have strokes/other disabilities sudden or otherwise requiring care are not vermin. to clarify. unrelated thoughts.#men who literally wouldnt lift a finger while their wife dies a slow and painful death but actually miraculously survives and#he continues to not give two shits about her or his family until he too is facing death and finds jesus and thinks because jesus forgives#he’s deserving of forgiveness from his wife and can live with himself having her wipe his ass when her kids had to bring her her meds#when she was vomitting for hours and near dead on the bathroom floor because he simply couldnt be bothered to get off his ass#and stop watching FOX news convincing himself that he’s part of the ‘elite’ despite being a nearly destitute man#who came from nothing knocked up his college gf had a meagerly successful career the earnings of which he lost in the stock market?#vermin!!!!
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my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.
she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.
the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.
so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.
and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.
it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.
just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.
#and sometimes i feel like she just believes whatever will allow her to hate and feel innately superior to the most people#the fact that this woman considers herself a leftist#... well. given what this country just voted for it looks unfortunately likely that she IS in fact a fairly average example of a leftist#and therefore i have zero remaining hope for or particular desire to save humanity#actually it kind of feels like the only reason she really aligns herself with “the left” is because she's a female supremacist#and the left is the closest thing to a movement in that direction compared to the only current alternate party's “lets undo women's rights”#and also she inexplicably hates trump despite constantly devils-advocating for him and how he “has some good ideas”#and yes she does specifically mean about immigrants and the wall. one of her staunchest positions is pro-closed borders#honesty if trump was a woman and not a misogynist sex pest i think she would like him a lot. even despite his blatant ignorance of economic#she's also a big “anti-wokeist” type and we can barely watch any movies anymore without her whining about there being black people in them#and then she's like “PEOPLE ONLY DON'T WANT TO WATCH MOVIES WITH ME BECAUSE MY THEORIES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND THEY'RE JEALOUS OF HOW SMART”#she's nominally anti-corporation but in practice tends to come down on their side and is also staunchly against student loan forgiveness#because she thinks that “anyone who's stupid enough to do that deserves it”#and “it would be a slap in the face to ME and everyone else that had to pay”#and “kids these days don't want to develop healthy financial habits so they can SAVE for things. i SAVED for it and i know how HARD it is”#the way she often talks i also increasingly feel like the only actual reason she hates christianity is because she's a female supremacist#especially since she regularly goes on about biblical things as if they're real and complains that god either must be a woman#because “only women can create”#or that god CLEARLY is a man because he's destructive and evil and Destruction is a Man Thing That All Men And Only Men Innately Do#and likes to talk about how “jesus said he would come back as the least of us so he would be a woman”#and then goes on to describe a woman that sounds suspiciously like her. or at least her perception of herself#she's also said that if she wasn't straight she would be a political lesbian by choice because she hates men so much#and has tried repeatedly to bitch at me about men in an “eyyy amirite sister” kind of way#and got mad when i didn't fancy the idea of sitting there joking with her about half the species being barely-sentient cancer nodes#but she ALSO identifies as sapiosexual despite having the most vanilla housewife smut book taste ever#but ALSO she considers every single other sexuality aside from straight and gay to be made up woke mental illness nonsense!#so according to her the only orientations are “normal”. gay. and sapiosexual. and SOMETIMES bi (but no pan or poly).#i'm fairly sure she's convinced asexuality isn't real and is just repression. she certainly acts like i never said anything every time.#unless she's explosively yelling at me for “always bringing it up” when i tell her to stop making jokes about me being attracted to things#and she thinks anything other than monogamy is “selfish” and “exists only for men to abuse women”. especially muslim and arab men.
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Gotta love rejecting a request going 'i can't do y-thing as long as there is x' and the person going 'i don't understand why you are talking about x! I want you to do y!'
My friend, there is an order to how things have to be done. If x-thing hasn't been done, no matter how much you froth at the mouth at me to do y-thing? You're shit out of luck :)
#like some people are genuinely just confused or not aware of x-process#which i am forgiving about and i always try to explain x-thing in my rejection message#but then there are some people who clearly HAVE NOT READ what i said and insist i do the thing#no can do shithead :)#of course i am very professionnal and re-explain why i can't do y-thing as long as x-thing hasnt been done#but really if you read something that starts with 'as explained in our previous email' this is someone telling you#'please read carefully and try to comprehend what is said here for the love of all green things'#the level of profanities implied in the message will vary depending on context and whoever is written#there is that one woman everyone knows in my dept and is notoriously BAD so you can bet that even if we never actual say#'FUCKING LEARN YOUR JOB AND HOW TO FUCKING READ'#we think it hard at her everytime :)#but yeah#like i am not saying i am 100% right all the time either#i make mistake too#but there is a way to come back to me by going 'hey you mentionned x-thing but i don't think its the case here because z reason'#i will usually go 'oh shit youre right my bad let me do this for you straight away forgive the delay'#but if you come at me 'NO you will do Y-thing for me because i clearly did not read what you wrote in your reject message'?#it will be very hard for you to convince me to do the thing and try to help you further#me#work rant
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Me, reading this fic:
I ran out of tags! 🥲 It’s been so fun to read your work! 🥰 Especially of the certified Best Boy™️
I can’t wait to read more 💚
Dance with me? (Roronoa Zoro x f!reader)
Summary: you try to convince Zoro to dance to a slow song with you.
A/n: okay so i love dancing. And i love Zoro. So i thought: why not have Zoro dancing?! And then this idea came out 🤣 it's kinda short, just cause i wanted to write down this scenario ajskajakja i hope you like it though 🩷 this was slightly inspired by Selena Gomez's Body Heat. This song isn't as slow as the song i imagine them dancing to in the fic but the lyrics fit sooo well 🤭 also let's pretend there's a band playing at the Baratie lmaooo
Warnings: drinking, swearing, maybe ooc Zoro (i just had to get this man dancing yk ajskajksja)
"We're connected by the sun
And all of the stars above
You melt me and my body feels no shame
And I don't care tonight
If it burns too bright
'Cause, baby, that's why I came"
You were at the Baratie celebrating after very a successful mission!
Luffy and Usopp were inside eating as much as they could (like always lol) and you were outside watching the band play and the people dance.
Sitting with you and sharing drinks, there were your best friend Nami and your crush Roronoa Zoro.
Yep, you were crushing on the moss haired swordsman ever since you joined the straw hats.
You thought about confessing to him several times, but you were really afraid of being rejected and making things awkward at the Going Merry. No, you couldn't risk that, not when you loved your crew that much.
What you didn't know is that the pretty swordsman felt exactly the same, even though he tried to fight that feeling everytime you flashed your beautiful smile at him.
yeah two idiots secretly in love with each other oh well ajskajskaj
The three of you were just relaxing and drinking when the band started playing one of your favorite songs. It was a slow and romantic song that touched deep into your heart.
- oh my gosh, i love this song - you closed your eyes and started swaying to the beat. It felt wonderful.
You weren't sure if it was the alcohol making you brave or if you just couldn't stand hiding your feelings anymore, but you turned to face Zoro and you were so certain of what you were saying even he was a bit surprised.
- come on, dance with me - you said, very sure of your words.
- what? No. I don't do "dancing", (Y/N). - Zoro replied, crossing his arms and looking away, knowing very well that if he kept looking at your beautiful eyes he was going to give in at some point.
- please, it's just one song... i can lead you - you said almost pleading.
You approached him and put your small hand on his strong arm (yep, the alcohol definitely was making you brave). That's when he couldn't resist anymore and turned to look at you.
- please, Zoro... for me?
The way you said that and tilted your head slightly to the side made Zoro feel something deep inside of him he never had felt before. How could he say no to you?
He rolled his eyes:
- okay, okay... but just one song. Make it quick.
You were so happy you nearly jumped out of your seat.
- yay!! It'll be short, i promise. Let's go! - you said clapping and happily standing up.
He got up too and you grabbed his hand to lead him to the dance area. Yes, you just grabbed the Roronoa Zoro's hand and pulled him with you. Maybe it weren't the drinks, maybe you were just really determined to be with him ajskajskaj
When you got there, you started giving him the directions.
- okay, you have to put your hands here - you grabbed both his hands and placed them on your waist. The touch was so soft and intimate it made your whole skin tingle - and i go here - you placed your arms around his neck.
You could feel he was still a bit suspicious about the whole thing for how tense his muscles felt, but you decided you were going to make that a good time for both of you.
- hey, you're tense - you said softly - just... relax, okay? I know it may seem scary but dancing is supposed to be fun. You don't have to be a pro to enjoy it, just... feel it. It's just you and I having a good time together. No pressure at all.
Little did you know Zoro wasn't feeling nervous because of the dancing. Well, maybe a bit (he had never done that before ajskajskaj), but it wasn't the main reason.
He was nervous for being that close to you. God knows what he could do being so close to the girl he had been crushing on for so long.
You ran your hands through his shoulders and arms, trying to calm him down and feeling his strong muscles slowly relaxing under your touch.
- now you just focus on the beat and move along. When i move right, you move right. When i go back, you go forward. Just... feel it and enjoy - you said kindly and you started moving with the song.
You both moved smoothly through the dance floor and it felt amazing.
- see, it's not that hard. I'm sure you've faced bigger challenges than this one, pirate hunter - you emphasized these two words in a mocking way.
That made him chuckle and look down, feeling a bit shy.
Yes! You made him laugh 🤩 you loved knowing you were the one to create such cute sight.
On the other hand: fuck, you made him laugh 💀 everytime he smiled it made you weak on your knees and you couldn't even think straight.
That's when you closed your eyes and rested your head on his chest, while you both just moved along to the beat. It was such a blissful moment, dancing to a song you loved and sharing it with a person you loved too.
Being there with him, enjoying the beat, feeling safe in Zoro's arms... you felt like you could live in that moment forever.
When you lifted your head and looked into his eyes again, it was like the rest of the world disappeared. There was just the two of you, holding each other and sharing loving looks.
You were so close and you could feel his eyes staring at your lips. You took that as a sign.
You cupped his cheek and slowly went in for a kiss.
Was that really happening?! You wanted to pinch yourself to check if all of that wasn't actually another delulu dream of yours.
But it was real. You could feel it.
The kiss was soft and sweet, but also full of emotion.
When you parted you were blushing madly so you just hid your face on his chest again and went back to dancing. This time you could feel he laid his head on top of yours too and that made your heart so warm. And that's because you didn't know he was enjoying it so much he had his eyes closed too, or else you would have exploded.
You knew at some point later you and Zoro would have to discuss feelings and stuff, but at that moment all that mattered was enjoying now.
You stayed like that for another few seconds until the song ended and everyone started clapping at the band. You and Zoro parted and smiled at each other. crap there was that pretty smile again
- see, you nailed it! - you said playfully punching him - thank you for coming with me, it was so nice. And i kept my promise, short and quick - you chuckled.
- yeah... now i kinda wish it lasted longer though - he said trying to look away to hide the small blush that was on his cheeks. Now besides smiling!Zoro, you also had him blushing?! It was definitely a dream.
You hooked your arm in his and led him out the dance area.
When you were going back to your seats, you saw Nami staring at you with a smug face. Damn, was she watching the whole thing?! Prepare for teasing in 3, 2...
- what a show, huh? - Nami said smirking and raising her eyebrows.
- shut up, Nami - Zoro said nonchalantly as he sat down and crossed his arms again, with that "100% done" face of his to try to hide the faint blush that was still on his cheeks.
You just chuckled and sat down for another drink, still feeling the bliss of that amazing moment you had just lived.
And you know what, the night was just beginning. Who knows what else could happen 😉
"Let's go all night
Just you and me
If you're the flame, I'm kerosene"
#I am obsessed with how you add those little authors asides! that’s so great! 🙏🤣#also you KNOW I love a good lyric so I went immediately to the song! 👀🙏#and now I’m like 👀 OH 👀 PLEASE 👀#So is it this they’re dancing too because I first was like /slow dance?/ and now I’m like /holllld up!/ 👀#also can I just - the bar is such a great touch anyway - so you KNOW it’s the perfect setting for this 👀👀👀#I understand the fear though - can you imagine confessing and then having to spend alllll your time on the ship with him after?#just throw me into the sea! 🙅♀️#(note me rereading it is a slow dance but also now I’m thinking about them dancing to Body Heat so here we are! 😏)#well I’m glad some Dutch courage helped with the issue of neither of them wanting to confess to each other 👀#Zoro out here trying to convince *himself* that this isn’t something he wants… just dance man!#breaking straight away like the softie he is internally 👀 I see you Zoro I see you! she cute go get her!!#/please Zoro… for me?/ (someone got their tactics from Luffy!)#I love that he’s just kinda tense and nervous and not absolutely protesting this 🥹 just a good boy (but a nervous one!!!)#but her softly trying to help him through what she thought he was nervous about? 🥺 the cutest! so sweet! 🥺#the idea of giving Zoro directions and him getting them correct? funny! but also yeah what an excuse to hold him to make sure he DOES! 😏#I read her saying /Pirate Hunter/ the way he does it in episode one 😆 I LOVE the idea of her playing it back to him like that! 🙌#girl is about to pass out when he laughs? Same girl same 😳#I’m OBSESSED with her placing her head on his chest and he just… accepts it. AGH! the GOODEST boy! please 😭🙏#ASDFGHJKL-! you two did not just kiss and then go right back to dancing like you—— AGHhH!!#oh I am SO SOFT! his head resting on hers? 😭 I want that for meeeee-!#I just love how chilled this situation is… they’re just letting it be without a big feelings conversation? 🙏#it’s a moment that doesn’t need the words - those *are* for later!#I also love that afterward SHE takes it back to their original conversation about dancing and thanks him for dancing with her 😭#AND compliments him! like there’s no awkward it’s a really great little /we don’t have to talk about the heavy stuff we can just keep this..#…fun for now!/ and it’s PERFECT 🙏#then he’s like /actually I wanted to continue/ please - boy stop! my heart can only take so much from you!/#Nami: 🎶 I can see what’s happening 🎶#lmao him just telling her to shut up! on brand! 🤣 but also we see you blushing Zoro! we see you!!#actually I think she’d be the best and WORST wing woman ever - that girl is gonna tease them massively but also ship it a little… a lot!#If the night is so young Zoro you can totally go dance again! 😏
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you’re how i pray.
summary: reluctantly, you found yourself reaching out to the church for guidance, to better your “wrongs.” only to meet father charlie and realize there was a whole world of sins you’ve yet to indulge in. [REQUESTED.]
pairings: charlie mayhew x fem!reader
warnings: conversations about religion and moral, blasphemy (?), charlie is a manipulative freak!. SMUT: this is DIRTYYYY, fingering (fem), oral (fem), unprotected sex, manhandling, dirty talk.
WC: 3.6K (sorry, i got into it)
my masterlist! requests are OPEN!
Your steps echoed against the cold stone floors of the church. The towering figure of your aunt walked ahead, moving with self-righteous purpose. You rolled your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek to stifle the irritation that boiled beneath your skin.
Of course, therapy had been a good start. You had actually been making progress, learning to manage your anger, to quiet the voice inside you that urged you to rebel against every rule, every boundary. But your family… they believed therapy wasn’t enough. They had another solution.
Father Charlie. You had heard of him. A young priest, charismatic and well-liked by the community.
Your aunt wasted no time, walking straight up to the office where Father Charlie stood. His presence was larger than life, draped in his priestly robes, and yet his eyes—those piercing brown eyes—held a spark that didn’t quite match the image of a humble servant of God.
“Father Charlie, thank you for meeting with us,” your aunt began, already launching into a tirade about you. Words like rebellious, problematic, and sinful spilled out as though they had been rehearsed. You stood there, arms crossed, glaring at the rows of candles flickering on the altar.
Father Charlie nodded sympathetically but his gaze never left you. He didn’t interrupt your aunt’s sermon, though, and once the woman was satisfied that she had delivered enough holy condemnation, she patted you on the shoulder.
“Father Charlie will talk to you, sweetie. He’ll help you.”
With that, your aunt left, leaving behind a cloud of forced piety. The silence settled in as Father Charlie waited until the doors shut behind her.
“Guessing by your expression, I’m sure this wasn’t your first option, coming to me.” he said, his voice unexpectedly soft.
You shrugged, leaning back against one of the wooden furnitures of his office. “Yeah. My family has unfortunately convinced themselves that I’m a lost cause, and that only God can save me. Or so.”
Father Charlie smiled, and something about it made you feel more cautious than comforted. “Why do you think people see you that way?”
The question took you by surprise. Not the usual condescending lecture, not yet, anyway. “Because I don’t see the point in all these rules they’re obsessed with. I do whatever I want, and that annoys people. We’re born into this world, and instead of living the lives we want, we’re told what to do from the moment we can speak. Doesn’t that sound a little… cruel to you?”
“Rules are there to keep the community together. Without them, society would fall apart.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Maybe. But what’s the point if those rules only help some people? The rich keep getting richer, while the rest of us… we’re always at the bottom. And that’s okay as long as we obey, right?”
“So, you think life is about doing whatever you want? No restrictions at all?”
“Not exactly,” you said. “I just think people should be free to make their own choices. To live without constant guilt and fear hanging over them. This whole idea that we’re supposed to follow blindly or be damned… it doesn’t sit right with me.”
The priest studied you for a moment, and you could feel the intensity of his gaze. “Do you believe in God?”
Your lips pressed together in a thin line. “I don’t know. Maybe there’s something out there, something bigger than us. But the people in this community? The hypocrisy. The way they use their faith to control others. It’s toxic.”
Father Charlie nodded slowly. “You’re not the first to feel that way. But you’re not as alone as you think, either.”
“What do you mean?”
His smile was back, but this time, it held something else. Something darker. “Let’s just say… not everyone in this church follows the rules as strictly as you might think.”
A shiver crept down your spine, but you couldn’t tell if it was fear or something else. His words, his tone—they didn’t match the image of the holy man you had been expecting. You sat down on the couch, to keep some distance.
“Let’s talk more,” he said, his voice dropping an octave. “I’m curious about your thoughts on freedom. On life… on sin.”
Your pulse quickened as he took a seat next to you, far too close for comfort, but you didn’t move. There was something magnetic about him. Dangerous, but magnetic.
“You know,” Charlie began, his fingers lightly tracing the soft edge of the couch beneath both, “a lot of people in your position feel trapped by expectations. You said it yourself: you don’t like the way rules seem to be designed to keep some people down.”
You nodded slowly, unsure where this was leading, but already feeling a shift in the atmosphere.
He tilted his head, his gaze holding yours, and there was a glimmer of amusement—something almost wicked—in his eyes. “You’re not wrong to want freedom. To want more. But what you have to understand is that most people… they’re too afraid to admit it.”
“Too afraid?”
“Yes. They bury their desires under obedience, hoping it will make them feel whole. But deep down, they crave… more. They want to push against those boundaries.” He leaned in closer, his tone growing silkier. “Don’t you?”
“I don’t know,” you said, though you did know. It just didn’t feel safe to admit it—not to yourself, and definitely not to him. “I mean, I get frustrated, but… it’s not like I’m going to rebel against everything.”
“What if you did? What if, just for a moment, you allowed yourself to explore that side of you? The one that questions. The one that craves freedom… and maybe, other things?” Charlie’s eyes sparkled with something that felt far more dangerous than faith.
Other things. The way he said it, as if it were an invitation, hung heavily between both. You could feel the tension building, the heat.
“I think…” you started, your voice shaky, “I think people would lose their minds if I did something like that.”
His lips curled into a slow, knowing grin. “Maybe that’s exactly what they need.”
He let the words sink in before continuing, his voice dipping into something darker, more seductive. “You don’t need to live your life based on what others expect of you. There’s power in choosing for yourself.“
This conversation wasn’t going the way you’d imagined. You had expected judgment, correction—but instead, he was… encouraging you.
“What do you want?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper now.
You looked away, feeling a flush creep up your neck. “I don’t know.”
“You’re lying,” Charlie said softly, his voice dipping even lower. “I think you know exactly what you want. You just haven’t allowed yourself to feel it fully.”
Your heart pounded against your ribs, and you couldn’t ignore the way his words wrapped around you like a dark temptation. There was a part of you that did want something—something wild, something free, something dangerous. But this? Here? With him?
“It’s okay to admit it,” Charlie said, leaning closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear now. “Sometimes… surrendering to what you really desire is more powerful than fighting it.”
Your breath caught, and for a second, you leaned into him, drawn by the magnetism of his words. It was intoxicating—the way he seemed to know exactly what to say. But you pulled back, confusion warring with the strange attraction that was blooming inside you.
“You’re a priest,” you said, as though reminding him—and yourself—would somehow break the spell.
Charlie chuckled, the sound low and smooth. “I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand temptation. Sin is… fascinating, isn’t it? Especially the kind that makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself.��
There was something so wrong about this conversation, and yet, you couldn’t deny the pull. The way he was making you feel—seen, understood, even desired—was something you hadn’t expected to find in this place.
He held your gaze, his confidence palpable. “You crave connection. An escape from the chains of expectation. You want to live life on your terms, even if that means stepping outside the lines drawn by those who think they know better. I admire that.”
“You really don’t know what you’re getting into,” you said, trying to regain some control.
“Perhaps,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriatingly charming way. “But what if I’m willing to take that risk? To explore those uncharted waters with you?”
“Is that what you do with all the girls who come in here, Father?” you shot back, trying to mask the way your pulse quickened at the thought.
“Most don’t provoke me the way you do,” he said, his voice low and velvety. “They’re afraid to stray too far from the righteous path. But you… you have a light about you that beckons me closer. It’s intoxicating.”
Your cheeks warmed under his intense scrutiny, but you quickly shook your head, refusing to be swayed. “You shouldn’t say things like that. You’re a priest.”
“Ah, but that’s the thing, isn’t it?” he replied smoothly, his gaze unflinching. “What does that really mean? I wear the collar, sure, but I’m also a man—one who understands the darker desires that lie beneath the surface. You’re drawn to them, aren’t you?”
“Maybe I’m just curious,” you replied, attempting to sound nonchalant.
“Curiosity is a dangerous game,” he said, his voice a seductive whisper. “Especially when it leads you to someone like me. You could explore all the answers to your questions, and perhaps even find the absolution you didn’t know you were seeking—if you dare to take that step.”
“And what’s the price for that?” you challenged, not ready to give in but undeniably intrigued.
“Just your trust,” he said, his gaze piercing through your defenses. “Let me guide you. Allow me to show you that the rules can bend, that the lines can blur. And in return, you’ll discover a side of yourself you never knew existed. It’s a fair exchange, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” you finally replied, your voice barely above a whisper, “but I’m not so easily led.”
He leaned in closer, their faces mere inches apart. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He ran his thumb delicately along your lower lip. “Lose yourself in me. Let me be your forbidden pleasure, your dark indulgence. Together, we can create a sin so divine, it will set your soul free.”
You feel his thumb diving inside your mouth. He pressed his thumb deeper, exploring the warm, wet cavern of your mouth as if mapping your innermost terrain.
“Mmmm, so eager to please," he purred, his other hand sliding down your side to grip your hip, holding you steady. "Your mouth was made for sin." With a subtle twist, he coaxed your tongue to swirl around the intrusion, a sinful game of give-and-take that left you breathless and wanting more. "Such a willing little temptress,"
And before you can process, he’s kissing you. And things gets heated, fast. It doesn’t seem to matter that you both were sitting on the couch from his office, inside the church. He claimed your mouth in a bruising kiss, his tongue plunging in to dance with yours in a primal, urgent rhythm. The scent of your arousal mingled with the musky undertones of his cologne, fogging the air with a heady, addictive haze. His hands roamed your body, possessive and demanding, as he pulled you closer, his own arousal throbbing against the confines of his trousers.
“So sweet," he growled against your lips, breaking the kiss only to nip and suck his way down your neck, leaving a trail of heated, open-mouthed kisses. "Such a delicious little sin."
His fingers deftly unfastened the buttons of your blouse, revealing the lacy bra beneath and the creamy swells of your breasts. You gasped, feeling his lips on your skin. Desperate and wanton, hungry.
He kissed and licked a path downward, pausing to toy with the lacy edge of your bra before tugging the delicate fabric aside with his teeth. His hot mouth closed over the swell of your breast, his tongue swirling to coax forth a responsive moan. His lips slid lower, fixating on your nipple. He suckled, the rhythmic pull of his lips and the scrape of his teeth sending jolts of pleasure-pain shooting through your sensitive flesh.
“Mmmm, you taste so divine," he purred, his free hand sliding up your thigh to brush against the damp fabric of your panties. "Every inch of you is made for sin."
You could foresee his intentions even before he started to move. His lips went lower down your chest, over your stomach, to the waistband of your skirt. With practiced ease, he slid his hands down your curves, peeling away the last of your garments with a hunger that bordered on reverence.
Your skirt and panties joined the discarded heap of your blouse and bra on the floor, leaving you bare and vulnerable beneath his intense scrutiny. His eyes raked over you, drinking in every inch of exposed flesh as if committing it to memory. The sight of you, spread out before him, was a feast for his sinful appetites.
“Exquisite," he breathed, his voice thick with desire. "You're a vision of decadence. I'm going to indulge in every moment of our encounter, savoring every morsel of pleasure you offer me."
With that, he sank to his knees before you, his fingers brushing against your inner thighs as he gazed up at you with a wicked promise in his eyes. He leaned in, his breath a hot whisper against your most intimate flesh.
And he went at it, eager to devour. He started off with a long, languid lick with the flat of his tongue, licking from the edge of your slit all the way to the clit. It was utterly sinful, erotic.
He lapped at you, his long, dexterous tongue swirling and delving with a sinful expertise that made you gasp and squirm. The flat of his tongue glided along your slit, gathering your sweet essence before he darted the tip to tease the sensitive bump of your clit. He licked and suckled, alternating between long, languid strokes and fast, frantic jabs of his tongue, each one designed to drive you a little crazier with need.
“You taste so good,," he purred, his words muffled against your pulsing flesh. "I could eat this sweet cunt all day and never tire of it."
Two fingers slipped inside you, stretching and filling you as his tongue continued its relentless assault. He pumped them in and out, matching the rhythm of his tongue's movements as he brought you closer to the edge. His fingers curled, seeking that special spot that would send you plummeting into ecstasy. With each pass, his touch grew firmer, more insistent, as if trying to coax the very essence of your being from your depths. His lips and tongue never ceased their worship of your clit, suckling and flicking against the throbbing nub in a maddening dance of pleasure and desperation.
He could feel you teetering on the brink, your sweet cum flooding his fingers as your hips bucked and writhed in mindless need. His tongue worked frantically against your clit, a dizzying whirl of licks and suckles that left you breathless and begging for more. One last, long lick, and you were sent hurtling over the edge, your orgasm ripping through like a thunderclap.
“Yes," he hummed, his voice a reverent whisper. "Let it happen. Let me feel you cum for me." And as the waves of your climax crashed over you, he remained, drinking in every last drop of your release like a man dying of thirst.
And you thought that would be it, but no. He rearranged you, laying you down as he stripped off his cassock in a hurried tug. The garment joined the pile of your clothes, and he wasted no time unfastening his belt and shucking off his trousers. His massive cock sprang free, the thick, pulsing length already flushed and throbbing with need.
He loomed over you, his thick, throbbing cock jutting out before him like a red-hot brand, burning with the need for release. With a knee, he pushed your legs apart, spreading you in blatant invitation, before positioning himself between your thighs. One hand tipped your chin up, forcing you to meet his burning gaze as he lined himself up with your most intimate entrance.
“Last chance to turn back," he growled, the tip of his cock notched against your aching flesh. "Once I sink into you, there's no going back. You'll be mine, body and soul." He paused, his expression almost wistful. "But I know you won't refuse me. You want this, as much as I do."
With that, he surged forward, burying himself in your warmth with a groan of pure, unadulterated pleasure.
He filled you slowly, deliberately, each inch a decadent slide into heaven as he stretched you impossibly wide around his girth. The sensation was overwhelming, the burn of his intrusion mixing with the sweet, tingling pleasure that only he could evoke. When he finally bottomed out, he paused, savoring the feeling of being completely sheathed within you. He was huge, and you could feel every throbbing inch of him as he pulsed and twitched inside you.
“So perfect," he breathed, his voice low and husky with satisfaction. He took a deep breath, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he fought to regain his composure. "You were made for me. Every curve, every hollow, every inch of your sweet cunt is tailor-made to take my cock."
He began to move, slow and deep at first, withdrawing until only the thick head remained before plunging back in, his strokes growing firmer, more insistent as he lost himself in the mindless pleasure of the joining. — He took you like a man possessed, his pace growing faster, more erratic as he chased his release. The couch creaked in protest beneath both, the sound mingling with the ragged breathing and the obscene squelch of his cock sliding in and out of your soaked pussy. Your back arched, pushing your pert breasts toward his devouring mouth as he feasted on one while still pounding into you. He growled against your skin, the vibrations adding another layer of sensation to the maelstrom of pleasure wracking your body.
Your eyes rolled back, feeling him pounding deep into your cunt as he suckled your tit. Wary, you used a hand to cover your mouth, trying to muffle the sound.
His mouth left your breast with a wet pop, and he sealed his lips over yours in a fierce, dominating kiss. His tongue invaded, claiming yours in a sensual dance that left both breathless. All the while, he continued his relentless pace, his cock pistoning in and out of you with brutal efficiency. He could feel your walls fluttering around him, your sweet cream coating his shaft as you teetered on the brink of another orgasm. With a groan, he broke the kiss, his eyes blazing with a primal intensity as he prepared to unleash his own release.
“Cum for me," he commanded, his voice a raw, desperate snarl. "Take my cock, just like that. Fuck- come for me. Come on my cock.”
The mix of the sensations and the sheer desperation on his voice, how needy it suddenly sounded did it for you. As your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, your inner walls clamped down around him like a vice, cum gushing out to coat his cock and balls. The sensation was enough to tip him over the edge, and with a hoarse bellow, he buried himself to the hilt and came, his thick seed pulsing deep inside you as his body shuddered and spasmed.
“Fuck!" he gasped, his hands gripping your hips like an anchor as he rode out the waves of his climax. "Yes... oh, god... yes..." He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the couch as he struggled to catch his breath.
As you recovered, you started to process. Thinking to yourself. Did you- did you just fuck a priest? Maybe you ARE as troublesome as people claim.
He slowly pulled out of you, his softening cock slipping free with a wet plop. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender, lingering kiss, his eyes never leaving yours. "Don't overthink it, my sweet," he murmured against your mouth. "Just enjoy the afterglow."
He leaned on his elbow, his free hand gently brushing the hair from your face as he took in your flushed, sated features.
"We've both crossed lines. Lines we can't simply erase. But perhaps that's for the best. Perhaps this is the key to setting you free." A sly smile played on his lips as he stood, his naked form glistening with sweat in the dim light. "Now, how about we continue this little sin of ours in the bed, hmm?"
And as that idea enticed you… you realized that perhaps you ARE a lost cause.
#grotesquerie#fic rec#nicholas chavez#priest kink#priest mayhew#charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew smut#grotesquerie smut#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez smut#smut#i’m down bad for this man#i don’t even know what to tag this#priest mayhew smut#priest charlie mayhew smut#ahs smut
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new perspective
pairing || Din Djarin x f!Reader
word count || 2.8k
summary || teaching the infamous Mandalorian to slow down and enjoy life isn't easy. it takes planning, patience - and silken sheets apparently.
content || SMUT, domesticity, simple pleasures, shower sex, sensual massages (i'm incorrigible), p in v sex, cowgirl position 🤠, slow sweet sex, post-orgasm planning for the future (this is din, after all)
a/n || i know, i know. i can hear it all now. "mel, where the fuck have you been???" celebrating my graduation and then immediately devolving into an existential crisis. but that's okay! not only have i figured out my direction in life, but i've returned with everyone's favorite topic: simping for Din Djarin.
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Din Djarin is not a man who knows how to take his time. He’s a workhorse, constantly on the go from one job to the next. He simply never learned the skill of savoring the little things in life. A good meal, a hot shower, a full night’s rest, leisure time. All of those things are simply a stranger to him. Any pleasure he takes, usually at his own hand, is perfunctory at best, a release of tension for its own sake.
Until you.
It starts simple - a set of silken sheets that you bring onto the Crest. Din returns to find you sprawled out on the small bed you share with a sleepy smile that makes his chest feel funny. Your fingers fan out against the soft material.
“Come feel.” You murmur. He doesn’t hesitate to tug off the thick leather gloves and brush the fabric with the back of his fingers. You watch as his shoulders soften, his head tilting as he takes in the foreign feeling. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah,” He says contemplatively. “It’s soft.”
Your smile widens and you shift over, making room for your lover. “Join me?”
“In a bit,” Din promises. The chill of his beskar soaks into your skin as he presses his forehead to yours. His warm palm cups your cheek and he holds you there for a breath before pulling away. “I have some more work to do.”
It isn’t hard to convince him to strip down when he joins you later that night. He’s exhausted, body aching from a long day’s work. He lets you strip away his armor and flight suit until he’s left in his briefs. You’re used to him falling asleep the moment he collapses into bed - but tonight is different. His eyebrows raise in surprise when he relaxes back into the pillows, his fingers rubbing circles against new sheets. Din is a man of few words but it’s obvious how much he likes the new addition to the bedroom.
“Come here,” He whispers, beckoning you to join him. The tension melts from his body as you curl up against his side. He tilts your chin up and kisses you softly, a wordless offer of his thanks that you eagerly accept. Surrounded by the cool sheets and the woman he loves, he falls asleep within minutes. That morning, Din lingers in bed for those first drowsy moments after waking. He wakes you with a few gentle caresses of his hands over your shoulder and arm and a murmur of your name. He looks more rested than usual.
You make sure to buy matching pillowcases the next time you’re out.
With every passing day, Din learns how to slow down and savor the morning. It doesn’t take much to keep him in bed with you a little longer each morning - a few soft touches and sweet kisses, and Din sinks right back into your arms. He rubs his face into the crook of your neck and drifts in and out of sleep, practically purring with every brush of your fingers through his hair. His voice, so deep and rough first thing in the morning, rumbles low in his chest as he murmurs his love into your skin. It’s simple, this early morning peace the two of you share. So simple, but so important.
You slip into the shower with him one random evening. You can’t help it. He’s been gone for two days straight on a bounty hunt and you’ve missed him. His eyes light up with interest as they trail over your naked body, his hands finding your waist and tugging you against him. A shiver of desire arcs up your spine - but you didn’t come here to get fucked silly in the shower. Well, not yet at least. You loop your arms around his shoulders and press up on your toes to kiss him properly. Din groans against your lips, already moving to press you against the shower wall. A gentle tug on his hair is enough to stop him in his tracks.
“Can I wash your hair?” You ask, looking up at him like the picture of innocence.
Din blinks at you, confused. “You want to… wash my hair?”
“Yeah,” You say softly.
There’s no need to over-explain. The two of you have mastered this silent communication over the months you have spent together. He searches your face for a moment before his expression softens, implicit permission given in the way his eyes shine for you. You gently lather shampoo into his thick curls and let your nails drag along his scalp in the way he loves. His eyelashes flutter under your touch but his eyes don’t close. He’s too intent on watching you. The grip he has on your hips tightens as you work, little groans falling from his lips at the simple pleasure of your hands on his body.
He lets you maneuver him and tilt his head back into the water without a hint of resistance. For a man so used to keeping everyone at arm's length, the trust he holds for you is plain as day. His cock twitches against your belly as your fingers meticulously work the suds from his hair. The barest hint of your skin against his is enough to get him riled up, but this…? The press of your slick, bare body pressed against his? His body language begs for more. He leans into the press of your fingers and cants his hips forward, slowly grinding against you with stuttered breaths.
The moment the water runs clear, Din lifts you by your thighs and presses you against the cold shower wall. You can’t help but admire the bulge of his biceps as he leverages you up and nudges your entrance with the head of his cock, searching your face for permission. The hungry kiss you drag him into is all the permission he needs. A new rush of adrenaline seizes his body as he sinks into you. He fucks you hard and fast, pace faltering at the pure heaven of your body. He wedges his hand between your bodies and rubs insistent circles against your clit. He just knows your body too well - within minutes, those frantic bursts of pleasure built into a powerful orgasm that leaves you trembling and weak in his arms.
Din buries his face in the crook of your neck as he spills inside of you just seconds later. Every moan and panted breath echoes through the small shower. You shiver at the feeling of his lips pressed against your neck. He always knows just where to kiss and touch to leave you like putty in his hands. He goes willingly when you guide him in for a real kiss, lazy and slow as the water streams against you. Careful not to let you slip, he lowers you onto your feet and maneuvers you until the water pounds against your back.
You should have expected him to return the favor. Din doesn’t take no for an answer.
“It’s your turn.” He murmurs, too adamant and stubborn to be swayed. You’ve always loved that about him, even when it gives you grief.
You melt into his chest as he works product into your hair, his fingers massaging at your scalp in a way you didn’t even know you needed. Little sounds of satisfaction fall from your lips with every touch. Sometimes you forget just how big his hands are. He palms the back of your head and draws you close enough that your noses brush, but he doesn’t kiss you. Not yet. He just watches you for a moment as he thoroughly washes your hair. He takes in the way you look up at him with an expression so full of love that he aches.
“I love you,” His voice is so low that it almost gets lost in the thrum of water, but you hear it. He can tell by the way your eyes light up, by the soft smile that curls your lips.
“I love you, too.” You whisper back. Din kisses you softly before tilting your head back and rinsing the suds from your hair.
Slowly but surely, you introduce Din to a life he never realized was possible. He learns how to revel in the attention and care you give him. He learns how to give it in return. His thoughts always return to you when he’s on a bounty, knowing he has to return to his little love waiting for him at his ship. Every now and then, he finds something to bring back to you - a little trinket, some sweets, a new book. You always look at him as if he’s placed the entire universe in the palm of your hands. Fuck, he would do it, too. Anything to see you so happy.
Din returns from a week-long bounty exhausted, sore, and with a little gift in hand. It’s just a new robe, something soft and airy for you to wear on those long nights in hyperspace. You gasp softly when he hands it to you, your fingers exploring the silky fabric as if it’s precious - and to you, it is. Not because it’s some rare or expensive treasure. Just because it comes from him.
Allowing you to remove his armor is as easy as breathing. He eagerly accepts every touch and kiss you give him, more than happy to let you do as you please. You set every piece of armor aside with care and neatly fold his flight suit. It doesn’t take any convincing to get him into the shower with you. The burning heat of the water soothes some of the aches that linger in his muscles. A dull throb still follows his every move but he powers through, not wanting to spoil such a pleasant evening with his lover.
He never really learned that he can’t hide anything from you.
“What’s wrong?” You ask as he eases himself onto the edge of the bed.
“Just sore,” He concedes, slowly rolling his shoulders in a vain effort to ease the tension. Your eyebrows furrow as you look him over with a keen eye. All you wear is that scrutinizing expression and the pretty robe he got you, and he doesn’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful. He sighs and reaches for your hand. “Come on, let’s just get some sleep.”
“You can’t sleep if you’re this uncomfortable.” You squeeze his shoulder, frowning when you feel how tight his muscles are. “Let me help.”
Din meets your gaze, your eyes so earnest that he doesn’t even think to deny you. He lets you maneuver him as you please until he’s laid out on his belly with you straddling his hips. A low groan rumbles through his chest when your hands bear down on his shoulders. Every pass of your fingers brings a strange combination of pleasure and pain that leaves him melting into the bed.
Even after all these months, he just isn’t used to the feeling of your skin against his. A simple passing touch is enough to have him shivering, but this? It’s overwhelming, all-consuming in the best possible way. It doesn’t take long for that pain to melt away into pure pleasure. Breathless, needy sounds follow every pass of your fingers. He can't help but rock his hips, grinding his cock into the silken sheets.
By the time you've finished working your thumbs into his lower back, you've reduced the Mandalorian beneath you into a desperate, hungry mess. He goes without hesitation when you urge him onto his back. His hands immediately find your hips and he grinds up into the heat of your cunt. The only thing that stops him from flipping you over and fucking you into the sheets is the gentle hand you place on his chest.
“Let me.” You whisper. Your voice carries a soft thrum of need that leaves him aching. “Let me take care of you.”
His fingers tighten at your hips at the mere brush of your fingers against his cock. That grip becomes bruising as you slowly sink onto him. Pleasure curls through his belly at the feeling of your cunt fluttering around him, so hot and slick and perfect - it would be so easy to lose his mind in the rapture of your body. It isn’t easy to keep his eyes open under the onslaught of pleasure, but it’s well worth it. He’s rewarded with the sight of your jaw falling slack and a shiver wracking your body. The stretch, the angle - it’s all new to you. You aren’t used to taking him this way. He isn’t used to letting you.
You sigh a breathy, pleased little sound that makes his heart skip a beat or two. Fuck, you might just be the death of him one of these days. It’s a demise he welcomes if it means meeting his end at your hands. That first roll of your hips has his head tipping back into the pile of fluffy pillows, yet another addition of comfort you’ve brought to this bed. You can’t take your eyes off him - the flex of his biceps, the clench of his jaw, the sheen of sweat that glistens on his tan skin. A delicious vision of the man you’ve come to love so dearly. You lean down and press a kiss to his chest, his collarbone, to that sweet spot where his pulse thrums in his neck.
Your fingers comb through his curls, bringing his pleasure-clouded gaze back to your own. His lips part as you set a slow, steady pace. Every rise and fall of your hips makes his eyelashes flutter but he doesn’t look away. He’s too entranced by this, by the pure newness of it all. Heat pulses and courses through your belly with every grind of your clit against him, grows stronger with every needy sound you pull from him. His chin tips up, an obvious plea, and you kiss him. Soft and slow, full of tongue and teeth.
Din doesn’t think he’s ever experienced anything quite as overwhelming as this. He isn’t a stranger to the feeling of your body or the love you somehow hold for him, but this is all new. Every slow rock of your hips sends honeyed pleasure slinking down his spine. There’s no need to rush. He can take his time and truly feel you, revel in the plushness of your thighs and the wet heat of your cunt. For the first time, he lets himself explore your body unhurried. His hands drift up and palm your breasts, his fingers rolling your nipple with a gentle touch. Your head tips back as you hum a pleased little sound.
Din can’t help but press his hips up, rising every time yours fall. He doesn’t take control, doesn’t try to set a faster pace. He just moves with you as fluid as rushing water. His hands shift to cup your ass, his fingers digging in and spreading you out for him. Desire clouds your gaze as he grinds his hips at that perfect angle that makes you see stars. You’re so close - he can feel it in the telltale rhythmic pulse of your cunt, in the way your thighs tremble. Slick drips in little rivulets down his thighs.
“Perfect, so perfect,” He rambles between rushed breaths. “My sweet girl, all mine.”
“Yours,” You promise. “I’m yours.”
All it takes is one perfect rock of his hips to have you falling apart for him. That tension finally bursts through your belly, your cunt tightening around him with every aching wave of pleasure. You lose all sense, all ability to keep your pace, but Din is quick to take over. His grip on your waist tightens as he pulls you down, spilling himself as deep as your body can take him. You let yourself melt into his chest, a wave of pleasure shuddering through you with every twitch of his spent cock.
Din locks his arms around your back, all too content to keep your body against his. No complaint comes from you. You just tuck your face into his neck with a spent sigh. The two of you float together in that sweet, exhausted haze. He doesn’t know for how long, but he never wants it to end. He never wants any of this to end. He wants this forever, for every possible moment of his life to be soaked in this contentment. Surrounded by soft sheets and the smell of your perfume. Unhurried and easy, with you.
Months ago, such a realization would have thrown him into an existential crisis. But he didn’t have you all those months ago - this sweet, bright-eyed, spitfire of a woman currently taking a cat nap on his chest. He didn’t have the sweet scent of your shampoo infused in his sheets. He didn’t have your soft exhales ghosting along his throat. He just didn’t know that life could be like this. The moment you shift as if you’re making to get off of him, his arms tighten around you.
“Just a little longer,” He murmurs, his voice sleepy and pleasure drunk.
You're more than happy to indulge him.
#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin smut#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x reader smut#din djarin x you smut
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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.
First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.
So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.
As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.
How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.
If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.
Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.
These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.
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Dark Platonic Mother! Cleopatra x Reincarnated Reader
Getting Reincarnated as the daughter of Cleopatra was the last thing you expected to happen to you.
The woman had you with a lover and decided to pass you off as the daughter of her first husband, Ptolemy XIII.
Let us get one thing straight, you were proud to be Cleopatra's daughter, as you saw her intelligence and chrismatic nature.
Being her first child, her overprotective attitude showed as you grew up.
She seduced Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to secure your safety.
There's no denying that you are her favourite child.
You tried to convince your mother to take different paths to avoid her demise.
But in the end, the paths still led to her demise.
However, the last female Pharaoh of Egypt decided to take you with her, refusing to leave you in the mercy of Augustus Caesar like the rest of her children.
Cleopatra’s gaze burned with a frenzied intensity as she clutched the your trembling hands, her voice trembling with emotion.
"My dearest daughter," she whispered, her tone a mix of desperation and conviction.
"Rome’s chains will not touch us. If Augustus dares to take us, we will not give him the satisfaction of parading us as spoils of war. You and I are above such humiliation, we are divine!"
Her grip tightened, her nails pressing into your skin, and she gestured toward a small, ornate chest on the table.
Within it lay the deadly asp, coiled and waiting.
Cleopatra’s eyes shone with determination as she drew the you closer, her words laced with a terrifying calmness.
"Together, we shall ascend to the gods. You belong with me, forever."
You stumbled backward, your heart pounding in terror as Cleopatra’s words sank in.
"No! I don’t want to die! Please, Mother, we can escape! There has to be another way!" You pleaded, tears streaming down your face.
The idea of experiencing death once again, a foreign, unimaginable concept for someone pulled from a different world sent you into panic.
Cleopatra, however, dismissed your protests with a soft, almost pitying smile, as though the your fear was a child’s naivety.
"Hush now," she murmured, stroking your cheek with a tenderness that only deepened the dread in her heart.
"You don’t understand yet, but you will. This is the only freedom left to us. The gods will welcome us as one."
Desperation clawed at you as Cleopatra reached for the asp, her movements slow.
You fell to your knees, clutching Cleopatra’s skirts, your voice breaking as you begged,
"Please, don’t do this! I’m not ready, I don’t want to leave, I need to be here for my siblings"
For the first time, Cleopatra hesitated, her hand trembling as she looked down at the your tear-streaked face.
For a fleeting moment, something human flickered in Cleopatra’s gaze, doubt, perhaps, or sorrow.
But it was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by the unyielding determination of a queen who believed she was saving her beloved daughter from a fate worse than death.
"You don’t need to be afraid," Cleopatra whispered, pulling the reader into a suffocating embrace.
"We are leaving this world together. You’ll thank me when we are free."
However, when the asp bites you then Cleopatra...you miraculously and barely manage to survive.
𓅁 𓅂
When you woke, the oppressive weight of Cleopatra’s arms was gone, replaced by the cool silk of Roman linens.
The air felt heavy, and the low murmur of distant voices sent a shiver down your spine.
Slowly, you opened your eyes, your body weak but alive, and saw a figure seated beside your bed, his presence radiating authority. Augustus.
His smile was unnervingly calm, his piercing eyes watching her as if you were a prey ensnared in his trap.
“Ah, you’re awake,” Augustus said softly, his voice like honey laced with venom.
He leaned closer, his hands clasped as though he were greeting an honored guest, not a survivor of a tragedy he orchestrated.
"You’re even more exquisite than I imagined. Cleopatra spoke of you so often, a divine child, she called you, her most precious treasure."
His gaze darkened slightly, a possessive edge creeping into his tone.
"And now, you’re mine." Your heart raced as you struggled to sit up, your body shaking under the weight of exhaustion.
Augustus reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek in a mockery of Cleopatra’s tender touch.
"You don’t need to fear me, I will protect you, as she couldn’t. No harm will come to you… so long as you remember who owns you now.”
#tw: toxic relationships#reader insert#platonic yandere#cleopatra#Cleopatra x reader#yandere historical characters#augustus x reader#ancient history#ancient egypt
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