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ktownshizzle · 2 days ago

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Love & Lullabies | Part 1 of 2

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader

Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongi’s life—afternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. You’re just fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didn’t want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life you’ve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isn’t the only one who’s clumsy.)

Alternatively: It’s 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weight—an 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility. (Thank god you’re there to help him.)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoon’s bestie

Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!) That’s it.

Chapter warnings: A lot of mood and scene setting—just vibe with it, MC is in her sad girl era, hints of depression and anxiety, masturbation, Yoongi is a new dad y’all he is tireddd af

Word count: almost 6k

Posting date: November 12, 2024

Notes: This is inspired by an ask/prompt sent by @yoongznme. Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕🫶🏼

Part One | Part Two | Masterlist

Namjoon leans back in his seat, sporting an all-too-familiar, slightly conspiratorial glint in his eyes. Hmm. You know that look.

It's the same one he had when he "casually" set you up to tutor one of his trainee friends in English—the one you let slip was kinda cute. Or when he signed you up to perform with one of his rapper friends in that underground club in Hongdae. Sure, you knew every word of the chorus to eminem’s Stan, but you were not a fucking singer.

You still did it, though. Both times.

Namjoon’s especially notorious for volunteering you to do things he insists are "right up your alley." There’s a fire in his eyes when he starts talking about one of his ideas, and before you know it, you're swept up in his vision, already picturing yourself right there beside him, doing something you’d never consider on your own.

Namjoon has been your best friend since forever and for reasons you can’t explain, saying no to him has always been impossible.

Right. It’s definitely that. It’s definitely not because in those two prior instances mentioned, both friends of his are actually the same guy. The one you had an almost crippling crush on over a decade ago. (You’re sooo over it, though. Trust.)

When Namjoon leaned in, you were already bracing yourself.

“So, you know Yoongi, right?”

You blink, pause, and slowly shake your head. It has taken years, but today is the day you tell him, “No.”

“The fuck? What do you mean no?” He replies, already looking hella amused. “I haven’t even said anything.”

Your face feels like a furnace, but you grit and steady your voice. “Whatever it is, the answer is no.”

He lets out a hum, shifting in his seat, and you get the sense he’s working up to something.

You sip your coffee, keeping your eyes on him. He gives you an exaggerated shrug, dimples deepening as he lets his shoulder sag.

God you’re literally already about to break.

“Fuck. Joon. Spit it out.”

He nods triumphantly, “Ok, there’s something I thought I’d run by you first, before he hears about it.”

The words hang in the air, and you raise an eyebrow. “Joon. What are you getting me into?”

Namjoon chuckles softly as he folds his hands on the table. “So… Yoongi has a son. A baby, actually.” He pauses, watching for your reaction.

Woah. Someone has fuckboi Min Yoongi all locked down?! Huh. You never saw that coming.

You let that sink in, surprise filling the quiet space between you. “I… didn’t know he had a kid.”

“Not many people do,” Namjoon admits. “Only those close to him know. Yoongi’s a great dad, but his caretaker recently left, and now he’s scrambling to balance his schedule and take care of his son.”

“And his wife?”

Namjoon sighs, gives you a look that means he’s about to say something confidential. “There’s no wife.”

“Baby mama?”

“Out of the picture.”

You let out a small breath, absorbing everything you just heard. You already had an idea of where this is leading up to, but you want it said explicitly. “So what exactly are you asking me?”

Namjoon nods, eyes hopeful. “Look, I know this is a big ask. I’m putting this out there because you’re one of the best with kids I know. And Yoongi—well, he’s pretty wary about letting new people get close to his son.”

You take another sip of your latte as he prattles on.

“While you’re still getting your bearings back, maybe you could take over the caretaker job, even part time?” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly as he says your name. “I just thought you might consider it. You’d be doing us both a favor. Yoongi really needs help, and I’d trust you more than anyone with this.”

You sit back, letting Namjoon’s words settle. Namjoon knows exactly what he’s asking—knows exactly how hard it is for you to refuse when he gives you that puppy dog look, especially when he’s throwing Yoongi into the mix. Honestly, you hate how you're apparently still soft for him even after all these years.

Namjoon also knows your current situation. Does he not realize it’s a bit unfair to ask this of you right now? Not when you're still picking up the pieces after your breakup with your long-term boyfriend. Not when you need time to heal. Not when you literally uprooted your life and just moved back to Seoul a month ago.

But somehow, you can’t shake the curiosity. What would it even be like to see Yoongi as a dad? To get a glimpse of this whole other life he’s got now?

It’s probably a terrible idea.

Yeah, no. You don’t need this right now. Money isn’t tight. And you need to focus on…

You take a slow breath, mentally tracing the edges of this mess. There are a hundred reasons to say no, and only one reason you’d even consider saying yes. And because it’s for Yoongi… damn, maybe that’s reason enough.

The next time you see Yoongi, it’s at HYBE’s massive rehearsal space. Namjoon had invited you to watch the group practice—innocent enough, though you know it’s also his way of nudging you toward the job. Joon thinks he’s subtle, but you know his plans are, more often than not, clunky as hell.

You settle in one corner, holding on to your half-finished iced Americano. A few staff are scattered around the studio, there was another girl (maybe a member’s girlfriend, you’re not sure), but it’s mostly empty. The boys are warming up, stretching or chatting, and you wave to Jungkook and Taehyung before finding yourself glancing toward Yoongi.

Wearing an all black outfit and a baseball cap, he’s standing off to the side, arms full with a fussy baby, and a bassinet stroller in front of him. The boy can’t be more than a few months shy of his first birthday. He’s close to tears, twisting and squirming, while Yoongi, visibly flustered, tries to hand him a toy, then a bottle, then anything he can find. Nothing works. Soon, the baby’s fuss turns into a full-on tantrum.

Oh, damn. Poor Yoongi.

He drops the bottle, spilling milk across the floor just as the stroller, half-locked, rolls a few feet away. He lunges for it, fumbling as the baby’s wailing intensifies, tiny fists flailing in frustration. Yoongi’s eyes dart around, panicked, while a couple of female staff start toward him, hands outstretched. But he waves them off, his face set in a mix of fierce determination and mild desperation as he rocks and hushes the baby.

It honestly hurts to watch the scene unfold. You almost want to do something.

Namjoon starts clearing people out, Jimin dims the studio lights, and Seokjin picks up the spilled bottle, wiping down the floor. Hobi taps a white noise track on his phone, placing it near the stroller. Your heart warms at how effortlessly everyone pitches in, their movements so practiced it’s obvious they’ve done this before. But it makes you wonder just how many rehearsals have paused for these moments. It’s probably why Namjoon wants to help find a solution, a.k.a you.

You meet your best friend’s gaze and he cocks his head toward the door, signaling for you to file out with the others, but your feet take you somewhere else entirely.

“Is he okay?” you ask, approaching Yoongi.

Yoongi doesn’t hear you at first, too focused on calming his son. His face is etched with exhaustion and something fragile, an uncharacteristic crack in his calm. He finally glances up, half-exasperated. To your mild relief, a look of recognition crosses his face, before he replies, “Yeah, he’s—he’s usually not this fussy.”

You watch him struggle for a bit, then, before you can second-guess, you step forward. “Do you mind if I try?”

Yoongi hesitates, studying you like he’s weighing the decision to trust you with his son. His eyes flick towards Namjoon who was standing by the door, before it goes back to you. After a tense pause, he nods, handing the baby over.

You hold the little boy, shifting him gently away from the mirrors and bright lights, rocking him slowly and humming an old lullaby you used to sing for your preschoolers. Gradually, his cries quiet down, his tiny head resting against your shoulder as he begins to relax, fingers curling around the fabric of your shirt. Within minutes, he’s fast asleep.

When you glance up, Yoongi is watching, his face unreadable. There’s relief, yes, but also a quiet wonder, an almost surprised gratitude.

“I owe you,” he murmurs, a softness in his voice you hadn’t expected.

“‘S ok,” you say, quietly, careful not to wake the baby.

The two of you stand there, his eyes on you for just a beat too long, and if you didn’t have the baby to ground you, you feel like you just might float.

“Thank you,” he says, tone soft and sincere.

From across the room, Namjoon watches, his eyes mirroring the same gratitude.

The call from Yoongi comes unexpectedly one evening, just after dinner. You don’t recognize the number, then again you don’t have a lot of +82s yet since you just moved back after many years of being in the States. The last thing you expect is to hear Yoongi’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey, it’s…Min Yoongi,” he starts, voice a little rough.

“Oh, hi.”

There’s a short silence, and then he clears his throat. “Namjoonie mentioned you uh might… be interested in helping with my son.”

You feel a strange flutter, both at the fact that Yoongi is talking to you, and at the fact that he’s asking something so personal. “Uh, yeah. I can help out.”

The pause is long enough that you imagine him somewhere, shifting uncomfortably. “I know it’s a lot to ask,” he finally says, sounding almost apologetic. “I don’t want to… impose or anything. But it would help. A lot.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you,” You hear Yoongi release a sigh of relief. Then he says the next phrase in a rush, “I know you are overqualified for this, so uh please let me compensate you with your salary as a teacher in America.”

You feel your face flush. Thank god this was not a video call. Seems you’re as uncomfortable as he is talking about money, though it is a necessary evil. “Oh, no, please Yoongi. You don’t have to. Joonie’s my bestfriend and you’re his brother. I can just help until you can find a more permanent solution.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t argue with you on this. You hear a puff of breath before he says. “Alright. Thank you.”

And just like that, you’re set. He gives you the address, and you’re left wondering for the rest of the night how you’ll manage this strange new gig.

The first day you arrive at Yoongi’s apartment in Hannam-dong, you’re a bundle of nerves, unsure what to expect.

After you ring the bell, the door opens to reveal Yoongi with his usual reserved expression, a piece of muslin cloth draped on one shoulder.

“Hi,” he says simply, stepping aside to let you in.

You offer him a smile. “Hey.”

He closes the door behind you as you step inside. You look around, taking everything in.

The apartment is spacious but cozy, with a warmth that speaks of careful design—minimalistic furniture in muted colors, shelves lined with books and vinyl records, a few baby toys strewn around the living room. Homey.

This is the first time you get to really see Yoongi. The brief encounter at the rehearsal studio didn’t afford you the chance to appreciate how time has treated him.

Seeing him after six years, he’s both the same and somehow different. He has always had that calm confidence—a steady, grounded energy that feels both nostalgic and new. His usually colorful hair, now in its natural hue, casually frames his face. He wears a simple white tee and you can tell the noodle arms are gone. His shoulders are much broader, arms stronger than how you remember him. The silver earrings are still there, subtle reminders of his edginess, softened by time.

But beneath it all, there’s a layer of, hmm… exhaustion, you guess? A shadow under his eyes, faint lines hinting at the weight of sleepless nights. His lips are chapped, there’s a tiny red bump on his chin. He’s a new dad, he hasn’t prioritized himself for a while. Still, his face carries a tenderness in the fatigue, like he’s tired, but happy.

“He’s napping right now,” Yoongi clears his throat, motioning toward a small crib by the window, where his son is sleeping peacefully, bundled in soft blankets.

“You haven’t told me his name.”

“Haneul.”

“That’s beautiful,” you reply, and Yoongi nods, almost shy.

He hesitates, glancing down as if gathering his thoughts. Then he says your name. “I… um, I didn’t know how this would go. His last caretaker was actually my aunt, but she got sick and had to go back home.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that.”

He nods, “But after seeing how he calmed down with you… I think he’ll be alright.”

He gives you a tour of his apartment, the baby monitor clipped in his jean pocket. His place is modern, spacious, baby-proofed. There are pictures that line the walls of the hallway linking the nursery, his studio, guest room, guest bath, and the masters.

You spend some time going through Haneul’s things—familiarizing yourself with the layout of the nursery. He shows you where the baby food and snacks are. Talks about his favorite toys and activities.

While he downloads the 101 on Haneul, the one thing you were curious to know was, where is his birth mom? You obviously don’t want to be a prick so you swallow the question down. Maybe you’ll find out in the future. But for now, you just need to know where the baby wipes are.

For the first few days that you come over, Yoongi keeps close, hovering just within earshot as you ease into the cadence of his son’s needs. He’s there with his arms folded, watching as you handle Haneul, a cautious yet respectful distance. You get it though. You’re a virtual stranger he just let into his home and his son’s life. Who wouldn’t be guarded?

You quickly notice that Haneul has a sweet temperament, but has a bit of a sensitive side. He doesn’t take to loud sounds, so you keep your voice low and movements gentle, singing him lullabies and nursery rhymes under your breath while Yoongi quietly observes, even if he pretends to be engrossed with something else.

On your third day, Yoongi has to leave to attend an important meeting at HYBE. He’s been pacing by the door, making sure his son is settled before he goes, even though you’re right there, holding the baby with practiced ease.

“Are you sure you’re… good with this?” he asks, his brow furrowed, as if still convincing himself to leave.

You give him a reassuring smile. “Go. I got him. He’ll be fine.”

He hesitates one last time, eyes fixed on you, and then he finally gives a small nod. “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

As soon as the door closes, you’re left with the quiet hum of the apartment and a very awake, very curious baby in your arms. You spend the next hour rocking him and singing songs, amazed at how easily he settles, almost as if he’s known you longer than a few days.

After his nap, you take a video of the babbling Haneul enjoying his yogurt gems and send it to Yoongi. He replies almost immediately with a smiley emoji and a curt: cute.

Yoongi returns around dinnertime right as you’ve settled the baby down in his bed. He steps inside the nursery quietly, watching as you tuck the blanket around his son. When you look up, he’s standing there, holding two cups of steaming liquid.

“I, uh… thought you might want some tea,” he says, looking slightly awkward but endearing.

“Always.” You take the mug with a grateful smile. “How was your meeting?”

“Could’ve been an email,” He shrugs and stuffs the empty hand inside his pocket.

You grin as you take a sip, remembering how you’ve always enjoyed his dry sense of humor, in the rare occasions you hung out in the past. Ooh, this tea is… your favorite.

“Silver moon?” you asked.

He nodded, “There’s a TWG shop that just opened near the office. Namjoonie might have mentioned it was your favorite, so.”

Your ears warm up just as well as your throat as you savor another drink.

“How was Haneul? Did he give you a hard time?”

“Not at all,” you shake your head, looking over to the little angel. “I’ve had a lot of practice, you know.”

“I can’t imagine handling a whole classroom full of them,” he says, looking at you with a mix of admiration and amusement. “One’s hard enough.”

“You’re lucky to have him,” you reply wistfully, suddenly feeling a tug at your heartstrings. ‘What I would give…’ you almost utter out loud.

The thing is, you actually do, without realizing it. Unbeknownst to you, Yoongi files the thought away, a subject he might bring up one day—when the time comes that he thinks you trust him, too.

The days blur into a steady rhythm. You arrive in some afternoons, not really everyday, only when Yoongi needs the extra hand at home or if he needs to leave the house for a day of rehearsals. You both establish that this is merely a favor so he doesn’t treat you like you’re at his every beck and call. Usually it starts with a short message in Kakao, and if you’re free, he would send a car to pick you up. Your meals are always ready, delivered on the dot. Conveniences are always within your reach—your favorite tea, extra clothes in case there are food or poop blow-outs, etc. The cleaning lady that goes thrice a week, Mrs. Kwon sometimes keeps you company and assists you with anything.

As you help take care of his baby, you feel that he’s looked out for you, too. Which is nice.

On days that he is working from home, Yoongi brings his work into the living room, just to be nearby during playtime with you and Haneul.

One evening, when his son falls asleep in your arms after a particularly fussy day, Yoongi glances up from his laptop and leans back in his chair, a tired but grateful smile breaking through.

“He’s really taken to you,” he observes, sounding almost as if he’s admitting it to himself.

You smile, feeling a strange warmth at his words. “I think he’s just a really sweet kid, Yoongi. He’s easy to love.”

The smile he gives you after that is probably the gummiest one you’ve ever seen.

A few weeks pass, and a subtle partnership has started forming between you, like you’re both slowly finding a rhythm in the chaos of caring for Haneul.

Bath time becomes a kind of unspoken relay: you gather the towel and clothes, while Yoongi preps the tub, testing the water with careful fingers. There’s a brief exchange of glances—no need for words, just a nod as you pass off Haneul, who’s already giggling happily.

Snack time turns into a ritualized watch party. You set out the applesauce and crackers for Haneul, and Yoongi brings a bag of chips and his laptop over to the living room, joining you and Haneul for yet another episode of Miss Rachel. Occasionally, he’ll mutter a sarcastic comment under his breath, trying (and failing) to disguise the fact that he’s memorized the songs, too. (And in English, no less!)

There was one particular afternoon that you walk in on the father and son having a heartwarming exchange.

Haneul, who’s wobbling on his unsteady little legs, is reaching eagerly for a stuffed tiger Yoongi is holding just out of reach.

“Oh, no, no, no—you gotta work for this,” Yoongi teases, eyebrows raised dramatically. He moves the tiger side to side, adding a low, exaggerated growl that makes Haneul squeal with laughter. Yoongi leans fully into the act, growling and making faces, finally swooping Haneul up with a playful roar, both of them dissolving into laughter.

You can’t help but laugh along with them, your heart catching slightly at the sight. The way his eyes crinkle in genuine amusement, his mouth relaxed into a wide gummy grin. And you’re startled by how… soft he looks, how fucking attractive he is when he’s like this. When his usual quiet intensity is replaced by this playfulness, by this open warmth. It hits you somewhere deep, a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest that you can’t quite ignore.

Yoongi catches you watching, his smile faltering for a moment, but he holds your gaze. His expression shifts, something curious reflecting in his eyes as if he’s wondering what you’re thinking, but he doesn’t ask. Instead, he swallows a lump in his throat, cheeks dusting a faint pink as he looks down, bashful.

You force yourself to glance away, feeling warmth creep up your neck. For the first time, you’re struck by an awareness of him that wasn’t there before, and it lingers, even as you turn back to whatever it was you were supposed to be doing. The image of his smile, his laughter—it all stays with you, stirring something you can’t quite put a name to.

And just like that, you’re settling into this role in the life of the Min men—something you know is temporary, but is infinitely meaningful.

When you’re not in Yoongi’s apartment, your own place feels strangely foreign.

God, you hate it here. You can’t even bring yourself to call it home—it’s just a room with white walls, half-opened moving boxes, a stack of unread books Joonie gave you, a mattress on the floor, and a fridge with a single egg. It’s quiet. Too quiet. You could fix the place up—it’s not like you can’t afford a bed frame or groceries—but for some reason, you’re punishing yourself. Like this is the way someone like you—unwanted and rejected—ought to live.

Nothing in this flat tethers you to it, and maybe that’s why you prefer being out.

You’re afraid your heart is stuck somewhere in limbo, somewhere between Seoul and LA. Maybe it’s still floating above the clouds on that flight back. You don’t know when it’ll come down, but you hope it’s soon.

Tonight, you’re restless, tossing and turning in your makeshift bed, replaying fragments of your old life—a love that once felt solid, a future that had once felt certain. Your mind drifts to those last conversations with Jiyong, your ex, the ones where he shut down every hope you had for a family, making you wonder if wanting more was somehow wrong.

You probably deserve it, though. You want a family, but you can barely cook for yourself. What do you hope to feed a child—takeout? Junk food? It’s laughable. You can’t even make a home feel like one. Jiyong probably got tired of you because you’re useless at it.

Stop. You close your eyes, focus on your breathing, try to still your mind. 1, 2, 3…

Some nights, you especially hate yourself. Tonight is one of them.

You need to call Namjoon. He can usually talk you down, ease the self-loathing. You ring him three times, but each time, you get his voicemail. Fuck. Maybe he’s out, maybe he’s getting laid. Good for him, honestly.

But that might actually work. You rummage through one of your boxes and find the one purple bullet that’s gotten you through plenty of spirals. With a flick, the vibrator buzzes to life, and you slip it beneath your panties, pressing it right against your clit. You’re not in the mood to drag this out—you want release, quick and easy, something to take the edge off.

At first, your limbs relax as that familiar tingle begins, little sparks shooting from your core, teasing you with hints of pleasure. You keep at it, determined, but after a few minutes, the sensations stall. It’s like your body’s stuck, lingering on the edge without tipping over, leaving you stranded and more frustrated than when you started. You decide to cut your losses.

Maybe a shower. Maybe you can pop by the GS25 down the block for a bottle of soju.

But then your phone pings. It’s Yoongi.

Your tummy suddenly feels funny.

You immediately swipe up and read the string of messages that has popped on your Kakao.

Yoongi: Hey so I found this in Haneul’s crib Yoongi: image.jpg Yoongi: u got this for him? he is lowkey obsessed. Yoongi: But WTF is it?

You cackle. Loud and hearty. A sound you didn’t think you were capable of on a shitty night like this.

You: A capybara! Look it up! Yoongi: Oh Yoongi: never heard of it You: They’re cute Yoongi: ? You: Don't be mean You: Haneul and I love bora Yoongi: ?? You: thats her name Yoongi: noted

That night, the Kakao thread becomes your lifeline. Yoongi asks about your next visit, what you had for dinner, and when you say goodnight he sends back a grainy selca of him and a sleeping Haneul with Bora. The photo brings unexpected joy, something to remind you that you aren’t as alone as it sometimes feels. Finally, you succumb to slumber, clutching your phone to your chest, thoughts of Yoongi and Haneul floating in your dreams.

After that, you become more and more aware that Yoongi’s place has become a sanctuary. There’s Haneul’s bright laughter, the way his tiny fingers curl around yours, and the sound of Yoongi’s soft, steady voice, creating a background that somehow starts to feel comforting. With them, you’re too busy to dwell on the past or the ache left behind by someone else’s rejection. Instead, you’re present, stable.

And it’s in those moments—when you’re reading Haneul a story or soothing him to sleep—that you feel a glimmer of something you’d thought you’d lost: hope. The simple act of holding him, soothing him through his small struggles… It’s healing in a way you can’t quite put into words, as if this little boy is slowly fusing pieces of your heart you’d almost forgotten were broken.

And Yoongi—he’s part of it, too. His presence, his quiet strength, the way he’s trusted you with something so precious.

You know this is just a phase, that this isn’t your life, but a part of you can’t help but imagine what it would be like if it were. To be here, day after day, with this little family that’s somehow found its way into your heart.

You’re still healing, still putting yourself back together, but this—this feels like the start of something you could believe in again.

What you couldn’t believe though was the email from your building administrator with an acknowledgment receipt for next quarter’s rent payment—all settled. You haven’t made the deposit yet, how come it’s saying it’s been paid for already?

You pace your room staring at the email from your phone as if it holds all the answers.

What is happening? Who paid for this? You didn’t sign up for some sugar baby service…

Wait. Something clicks in your brain. Suga. Baby.

Your first instinct is to call Namjoon, meddler extrordinaire. He picks up on the second ring, sounding annoyingly chipper.

“‘Sup, buttercup?” he asks.

“Don’t act cute, Joonie,” you warn. “Did you know about this?”

There’s a pause. “About what, exactly?”

“Yoongi,” you say, practically hissing his name. “He paid my rent, didn’t he? Three months’ worth. How did he even know where I live?”

Namjoon lets out a hum, his tone maddeningly calm. “Ah. That.”

“Yes. That. Care to explain?”

“Look,” Namjoon says, unbothered. “Yoongi asked, so I gave him your address. He said you refused his offer, but still he wanted to pay you back somehow.”

“But Joon! It’s too much—” You pause, scrambling for the right words. “How did he even get a hold of the landlord and settle all this without my knowledge?”

Namjoon chuckles, which only makes you more annoyed. “Yoongi hyung is an influential guy, you know. If he wants something, he’ll fuckin’ find a way. Just take it, okay? You’re helping him, he’s helping you. It’s fair.”

You huff, still not convinced. “It’s just… a lot, Joon. I don’t need anyone swooping in and paying my bills. And you could’ve at least warned me.”

“I get it. But you’re helping him with something really important. This is his way of saying thank you.”

You sink back into your chair, the irritation draining out of you. “Fine,” you mutter. “But if he pulls something like this again, I’m coming for your ass.”

Namjoon laughs. “Aishh. Why the hell is it my fault?”

“You’re a smart man. Figure it out.” You hang up.

You spend that afternoon at Yoongi's. He was in a rush, dashing out for some shoot as you arrive. You hear him return around seven, just as you're finishing putting Haneul to sleep. Once the baby is settled, you tiptoe out of the nursery with the baby monitor on hand, following the sounds of soft clinking and the rich aroma wafting from the kitchen.

“Hey, Yoongi,” you call out, stepping into view. “Haneul’s all tucked in. I was just gonna—”

“Stay for dinner?” Yoongi’s eyes light up, his voice gentle but hopeful as he turns, holding a pot in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other. It looks like he came straight from his shoot, his hair still styled in soft, precise waves that swoop perfectly across his cheekbones. He’s wearing the softest, oversized yellow sweater layered over a crisp white shirt, and his jeans hug him just right. But it’s his smile that really draws you in—light radiates from him, his face glowing not just from a bit of skincare, but from something more.

Goddamn. The man is looking fine as hell.

You’d planned to meet up with Namjoon tonight, but one look at Yoongi—whose eyes are too shy to hold yours as he ladles red sauce into a ceramic bowl—and you know you are absolutely staying put. Joon will understand.

“Ok, yeah, that looks really good,” you say.

“It is.” Yoongi smirks, just barely, and gestures to the fridge. “I’ll plate this up if you can grab some drinks?”

You procure a couple of beers from the chiller and set them on the dining table, shooting off a quick text to Joon afterwards.

You: Hey, raincheck? Yoongi made dinner and it looks good ngl

His response is instant.

Namjoon: You blowing me off to play house with hyung. K. I see how it is.

This asshole.

You’re about to call and give him a piece of your mind when Yoongi’s voice pulls you back. “Everything okay?”

Your gaze shifts to the plates of spaghetti he’s just set down, the aroma working wonders to sway your thoughts. “Yeah, just Joon being a pain in my ass as usual.”

“Sit.” Yoongi gestures to your chair as he settles into his.

“Wait.” You grab the baby monitor from the kitchen counter, setting it between you and Yoongi. The screen shows Haneul fast asleep, Bora tucked securely under his arm.

“There. Now we can eat.”

Yoongi nods, and the two of you dig in.

It hits you that this is actually the first time the two of you have shared a quiet dinner together like this. You were expecting Yoongi to let the silence linger, but he starts a conversation mid-way.

“I, uh, was surprised to see you back here,” he says casually, twirling a forkful of pasta.

“Me too. It was… kind of abrupt.”

He nods, not pressing, just listening. You don’t think you’re ready to talk about that so you try a joke.

“Didn’t think you’d ever see the girl who carried your performance of Stan?” you add, smirking. “I basically launched your career.”

“Carried?” He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Nah, you were choking.”

“Hell no.”

“Uh-huh.” He laughs softly, shoulders bobbing. “Rewriting history….”

“Fine. I sucked. Joon totally went behind my back with that one. Not that he’s the only one who likes going behind my back,” you add pointedly, of course alluding to the matter of your paid-off rent.

Yoongi scratches the back of his neck, looking almost guilty. “Sorry for overstepping.”

“Just don’t start paying my utilities behind my back, too. Because—”

He shifts awkwardly, avoiding your gaze.

“Yoongi?”

He clears his throat. “Just your electricity. I… may have asked the landlord to include it this month.”

“Oh my god.”

“And water,” he adds quickly, eyes widening like a kid who just got caught.

“Add my Netflix subscription while you’re at it.”

“Done.”

“NO!!! You’re actually worse than Joonie,” you groan, though a smile quirks at your lips. “But, thank you:”

He nods, briefly pausing before he speaks up again, a little too flippantly. “So… you and Namjoonie—what’s the deal there?”

You blink, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs, looking somewhere over your shoulder. “You know what we all think? That he’s playing some kind of long game with you.”

You wrinkle your nose, laughing. “Oh god, no. Y’all are waayyy off. Namjoon’s like my brother, that’s it.”

Yoongi nods slowly, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips as he watches you.

“Everyone thinks that, huh?” you ask, leaning in, a little bolder than usual.

“Mhmm.” Yoongi gives a slow nod, as he nibbles his lower lip.

“All the members?”

“Yeah,” he says, watching you carefully.

“Including you?”

He shrugs, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, though something shifts in his expression, like he’s trying to piece together a puzzle he didn’t know existed.

“Interesting,” you murmur, swirling your glass.

“Why?” he narrows his eyes on you, wheels turning in his head.

Maybe it’s the beer loosening you up, bubbles lifting your usual filters. You’ve always been a lightweight.

“You never wondered why Joonie suddenly set you up for English tutoring with me—just you—even though your company had a professional hired to teach everyone?”

He blinks, eyes narrowing a bit more.

“Or why I ended up singing with you at that damn club?” You laugh, leaning back.

His lips mold into a small pout, processing, but you’re already laughing.

“Joonie’s been throwing me into your orbit, Yoongi,” you say, giggling, the alcohol hitting you hard now. “And you’re telling me you never noticed?”

He looks like he’s having a full conversation with himself, his mouth opening and closing like a stunned goldfish inside a gallon bottle. All he manages is an eloquent: “shit.”

“Well, for the record,” you pause, “I thought you were cute, but it was obvious you weren’t interested. Don’t worry, though,” you say lightly, glancing down on your almost empty plate. “I’m a big girl now. It’s all in the past.”

As you stab the last meatball, you miss the way Yoongi’s gaze softens.

You have no way of knowing what’s going through his head. But if you did, you would find that he’s thinking:

If he could go back in time, he’d kick his younger self straight in the balls for not noticing, and tell him to get his head out of his ass long enough to realize this one shocking truth:

You were not Namjoon’s girl.

And he actually had a chance with you.

Because maybe you’re right. Back then everything was about the dream—y’know, big house, big cars, big rings, and all that shit. So yeah, maybe, he wasn’t ready then.

But that doesn’t mean he isn’t now.

Notes: Oh-KKKAYYY!! How are we feeling? Anything you liked in particular in this chapter? Where is the baby mama? Do we even care atp?!

Part 2 is where things get more flirty, spicy, and all that good stuff.

Tell me your thoughts and theories. See you in the comments! <333

Thank you for reading, you lovely, beautiful, human 💕🫶🏼

Taglist:

@yoongznme @nnybtitts08 @rinkud @nbjch05 @perfectiondazesworld

@marnz1990 @mxrauds @queenbloody @jadestonedaeho7 @futuristicenemychaos

@direnediane @glossdebut @maryhopemei @theresstardustinmyblood @mggv97

@wobblewobble822 @kam9404 @supernoonanyc @damn-u-min-yoongi @ot72025

@busanbby-jjk @granataepfelchen @jajabro @tarahardcore @marihoneywk

@ryryvna @tea4sykes @mar-lo-pap @lilkittenjenjen

@captainchrisstan @thelittlecatonthecake @flaneuseonthestreets @sexytholland @diamonddia-mond

@yronathaniel @as-hs-blog @amarssfanfic @mafersame @amarawayne

@eurydiceofterabithia

Sorry if I'm unable to tag you. Did my best to include everyone who commented and asked!

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mrfrunky · 2 days ago

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Okay. I always look at these posts and see these comments,

Americangirl: Yes, women make up alot of Trumps voterbase, most of them are republican and considering how he did in the polls, will stay republican, however, this does not make the idea of “voting against your own” less true, as many other demographics have done the same over the promises of other issues that have been mentioned, but regardless, the threat is there, to a-lot of people it felt like that if you vote for trump there will be a long trickle effect leading to the infringement of their rights, something that they are entitled to in a country that flaunts it. So yes, people are threatened, want more information? You can probably check, im not here to teach you.

I can see your point, I know people that work their asses off daily only to lose more than a quarter of their check. This job market is shit. Yet it is that frustration that galvanizes this frustrated demographic, they feel that whatever the republicans will do will lead to less taxes, regardless of action, meaning less welfare, which in turn, affects poor people. What we really need is to stop believing that republicans are low taxes and dems are high, it is not productive, we need to hold our governments accountable for spending money on a broken system without even taking the time to fix it, and focus those tax dollars into efficiency, which, if I’m being honest, is not being done as much as one or the other side of this bipartisan shitscape likes to imagine they are.

This is just not even productive. “The left hates the poor” very good observation. I get the feeling that you use your “vibes” on alot of things but please do understand that the butt of most jokes is that we spend (politically) TOO MUCH time and money on the poor to the point its controversial. Remember obamacare?

To sum it up, I have a headache, and my words will go out from one ear to the other. I am left because I chose to be, I read, I studied, and I saw what it stood for. I did not go off “vibes”, and from what it stands now, yes, I will stay left until the right stops abusing their ability to funnel american frustration into their own needs and wants, until they stop using their idea on how its “they” that is causing all the problems, rather than the men in suits that live within us, perpetuating this broken system that is abused. Until they start talking sense, instead of using words like “woke mind virus” “brainwashed” and other buzzwords to further perpetuate this antagonism of “they” whoever “they” are.

TLDR: these comments piss me the fuck off, and I had to point some shit out, if you choose to ignore it, fine, so be it. Don’t be surprised when your echo chamber gets too loud or unfriendly.

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tojisun · 2 days ago

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sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au) - camgirl edi!

smut - voyeurism, porn watching, sharing, ambiguous ending; again, this is a non-canon part of sseoi! also ik this scenario is unrealistic but read for the vibes!!!

obsessed with this previous part posted, and can’t stop thinking about how the boys used to chirp at simon for calling his fave cam girl his girl, only for it to end there, anyway.

how johnny was the first to find out when he caught simon listening to your stream like it’s a fucking podcast while he was taping his stick.

it was still too early in the morning for practice, but simon had been out with a minor lower injury and no one was really shocked that he’s the first in the rink when he got his permission from their physio. it was nice to see their A excited to get back on ice because truthfully? they needed him back. the team wasn’t straggling by any means but there’s an obvious difference with simon out which was why johnny found himself just as excited when simon told the group chat the good news, bounding in early for the morning skate too.

there were soft murmurs slipping past the cracked door when he made his way, and johnny pushed through the entrance, expecting maybe someone else with riley — maybe their captain or their coach — but it’s just their A.

and his phone, at full volume and full brightness, showcasing a… porn?

amateur porn, from the looks of it.

“uh?” was all johnny could say.

simon looked up, not even really appearing to be mortified that johnny just walked in on him watching a porn live-stream; the healthy sheen on his face did not even break for an embarrassed blush and, really, johnny started wondering if there was something he was missing.

“hey, mate,” simon greeted, still unaffected and screw it, johnny decided to ignore the wet squelch coming from the phone to reach forward and clap his arms around his friend.

“good to see ye back, man,” johnny said, chuckling. simon rumbled a quiet laugh too, looking pretty pleased and at peace like there’s no raunchy moans rumbling from his speakers—

you know what? fuck it.

“so you pent up in a different way, or?” johnny asked, nodding at the phone.

simon blinked, brows wrinkling in confusion for a second, before clarity washed over him, so obvious that johnny could track the moment he remembered what he had been listening to before johnny walked in.

“oh,” he huffed, shoulders shaking in another burst of quiet chuckles. “y’ve got to see ‘er. fuckin’ beautiful, this one.”

that… was not what johnny expected but he dropped on the cubicle beside simon to peek at his screen. apparently, he glanced at the right time as he watched the way your cunt stretched around the girth of your vibrator, made of glass, and the image you made was so startlingly lewd that johnny couldn’t even help groaning in appreciation too.

simon grins with something akin to pride, like he was telling johnny, “see? what’d i tell you?”

johnny would forget about that day until simon’s blunder of using his public account to blast his feelings for you, his clearly-not-just-pure feelings, made national news. their poor PR and media intern were working overtime to fix simon’s mistake because of course simon did not stop at just retweeting your website’s link while professing how he’s never cum so hard for anyone. no, he had to take it a little farther — he mass liked about fifty posts that you have made in two months time in the span of the three hours since they’ve flown back from tampa.

it was hell; apparently his profile was so thoroughly linked to your own with how active he was within those three hours of liking everything he could, that they suggested he just delete his profile and start anew. johnny doubted he was going to, what with his brand deals and other things, but then you poked back at simon and simon was so enamoured that he just took off the rails and flirted with you publicly.

he was unbelievable. simon was horny and yearning — a weird mix, but one that… worked, apparently, because here you are now, standing before them, all pretty and breathtaking.

johnny can’t even deny that he’s not distracted because, well, because they’ve seen you.

naked.

and getting fucked to the point of snot and tears.

fuck, this was not an easy meet-and-greet.

it was difficult to not cross the line when chirping at simon about his new relationship but garrick had been firm with his reminder, staring them down with that downturned tilt of his lips that spoke of no-nonsense. and no one ever wants to disappoint their captain so they steered clear of the obvious, like the fact that they all, at one point, watched your videos because simon just wouldn’t shut up about you. he was damn near close to waxing poetry which would have been cute if, you know, simon did not sound like a pervert who’s clearly whipped for a stranger.

it was funny then. it’s downright petrifying now.

they know more about you than they wished they did, like the fact that your go-to toy when the ejaculating dragon one is in the ‘wash’ is that vibrating dildo that is probably half the girth of johnny’s arm which is to say that it’s fucking thick, but still, you were able to bully all of that in your pussy, whining and mewling, before fucking down on it so hard it was bulging out of the soft pudge of your belly. or how you like having your nipples clamped. or how you have such a thing for oral stuff that you’d deepthroat a dildo while bouncing on another one.

it was a whiplash, going from watching you touch yourself in ways unfathomable to seeing you in front of them, giggling as you and simon share quiet conversations like they’re some sacred things.

fuck.

not even kyle, with his big announcement, could fake normalcy because you were a locker room name. they’ve all recommended different videos to each other — hell, all of them are still in that group chat they made to share links with each other. sure, simon had created it but no one really put it to rest — messages like, “she got anything in [x] cosplay?” or, “saw a short clip of her rubbing her pussy on her washing machine in twitter, does anyone have the full ver?” were getting passed around.

you were the darling girl of the team, and now simon’s got you cuffed.

it was easy to pinpoint the source of tension — the guys want a taste.

johnny stares at you and simon, and the secretive little smiles and heated looks that the two of you are sharing with each other, and realizes that maybe, just maybe, they are allowed it.

#suns #simon ghost riley x reader #task force 141 x reader #simon riley x reader #f!reader #camgirl!reader #simon riley smut #hockey au

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validfemale · 3 days ago

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how to: overcome the need for validation in manifesting.ᐟ ⊹₊⟡⋆

alright, doll, this one’s for you because let’s be real—needing outside validation is the biggest block when it comes to manifesting your dreams. maybe you’re feeling like you need the universe to give you a little “thumbs up” before you fully believe in what you’re creating.

here’s the thing: when you’re manifesting, it’s about deciding it’s true and living from that decision. not hoping, not wishing—deciding. once you decide, it’s true because you said so, and that’s the only validation you’ll ever need. period.

❤︎ ︎ — stop looking for proof.

if you’re still feeling like you need outside signs to back up your desires, your job right now is to declare your desires as fact without searching for evidence. searching for proof is you telling the world, “i’m not in control, i need validation.” no, babe—you are the one in control. the second you stop looking around for proof and start claiming what’s yours, that’s when things begin to shift.

❤︎︎ — you are the creator.

the game changes once you realize who you really are: the creator of your reality. nothing—and i mean nothing—can show up in your world unless you assume it will. your world? it’s a mirror, just a reflection of your beliefs, your assumptions, your expectations. if there’s something you’re not vibing with, that’s just a nudge to shift your inner story. this is why people can have totally different experiences in the same situation—it all comes down to what each person believes is true for them.

❤︎︎ — prove it to yourself.

building trust with yourself is a process. start with something small—manifest a random colored car, an unusual name, something you don’t care too much about. when you start to see these things pop up? that’s your proof. those things only appeared because you focused on them and gave them permission to exist in your world. it’s all about showing yourself that you’re the one with the power.

❤︎︎ — upgrade your self-concept.

your self-concept? that’s the backbone of it all. remind yourself daily that you are the creator here. when you fully step into that role, everything falls into place. the outside world doesn’t exist to validate you; in fact, it’s waiting for you to validate it. understand this, and the need for outside proof disappears because you’ll see the world as your personal “simon says.” you say it, and the world responds.

❤︎︎ — you are the proof.

think of the world as a mirror, a perfect copy-paste of whatever you decide is true. there’s no more waiting on the universe to confirm things for you because, doll, you’re the one giving the orders. when you choose an experience, it has no choice but to unfold exactly how you chose it. forget needing outside validation—you are the source. repeat after me: i don’t need proof. i am the proof.

get ready, because once you own this, life’s about to hand you everything you’ve been asking for. you’re choosing your reality—watch it bend and fold around you like the masterpiece it is. 🎀

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thehigherseekerastro · 3 days ago

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Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) 2 🤨❤️🤔

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.

I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.

This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.

**************************************************

The 1st House 🙋‍♂️

The 1H in synastry is a tricky one, because the first house itself is related to our individual identity. It is the house of self. So, when it comes to having a love planet here, things can get really murky. You'll often hear that it indicates instant attraction, but also only surface-level. While that is not entirely wrong, it would be a disservice to reduce it to just that. Yes, first house ties back to your physical appearance and external impact. But what does that mean for someone else being impacted and impacting that? Does it even apply in synastry? The answer is: YES. And it goes much deeper than you'd think. It will talk about an immediate recognition. It talks of being mesmerized by someone's look and demeanor, but that comes accompanied with an obsessive need to know more about you, to be around you, to soak up as much of you as possible, as if to aggressively learn you. And that's because you will tickle all the boxes the person had been holding inside (and vice-versa).

(e.g.: having someone's planet(s) fall into your 1st house doesn't just mean they will be attracted to you, if it's romantic. It also means the person feels like you two share a vibe, share interests, ideas. It means they feel like you move according to their speed, and therefore, that could lead to a lot of trust and comfort on their part, because you feel like a safe place. Not in the same sense as the 4H, but in a more "this person will have my back, cause we're the same!" kind of way. It makes the person feel like you are enough, because you fit them. So even if everyone else disagrees with them or doesn't understand them, they'll sort of look over at you, and if you validate them, that will be enough for them. They'd rather have your approval – since you are someone who gets them – than to have the approval of a bunch of people who don't understand where they are coming from.)

It truly is a beautiful thing, but even positive planets with positive aspects can lead to unwanted side-effects. The house person could come to resent the planet person because of how much they like them. Depending on who the house person is – if they have a dominant or prideful personality, for example – they may come to resent and even become angry with the planet person at times, because they'll feel so strongly for the planet person that they could start acting out of character for them, and that can make them feel like they're losing control of themselves. And as human beings, what do we do when we feel out of control? Shift blame and start looking for culprits. This DOES tend to wear off, though, exactly because of how intensely the house person feels for the planet person, but it can burn hot for a minute or two, specially if they end up getting into an ugly fight and the 1H person tries to forget the planet person, but they can't bring themselves to hate them. They'll get angry at the fact that no matter how hard they try to hate the person, they still feel enchanted by them.

(this could also create an unwanted feeling of "nobody else is like them", so the 1H could panic a bit at the thought of losing the planet person because 1H synastry creates the immediate feeling of the "perfect person for me", so imagine thinking you found the perfect person for you... it can make you feel like if you lose them you'll never recover, because no one else will be like them or able to replace them as perfectly)

All in all, though, first house Synastry tends to usually show up good results, depending on the planets and aspects involved. Another aspect of this synastry that doesn't get talked about for some reason is the fact that they tend to obsess over and notice the tiny details in each other. So it creates this effect of falling for them over and over and over again, cause they'll keep finding little things about the other person that they find enchanting, and THAT'S what creates the physical attraction. It's not that the planet or house person are conventionally attractive to everyone – they might not even fit the beauty standards –, but to the house person, those little details will sort of build up the planet person's beauty step by step, and by the time they catch on, they'll be enamored with every part of them, so, to the house person, the planet person truly is the most beautiful thing ever.

(1H house synastry also brings a 1st house energy to the attraction. NO - NOT ARIES. First house. But it will sound like arian qualities because Aries does rule the first house, after all. What this means is that a big part of the attraction for the 1H person is feeling like the planet person is independent, self-sufficient, confident, self-assured and capable. Because it's taping into their 1st house of self, the house person can sort of see the best of themselves reflected on the planet person, which means they feel like all the things they are insecure to show the world, the planet person has and is not afraid to show them. So they feel like planet person not only embodies their attraction ideal, but also the ideal personality they wish they had themselves. Which they do, but they don't realize it until planet person comes along and brings it out of them.)

First house Synastry is a complex kind of Synastry that is much more psychological than it's given credit for. People often focus on superficial physical attraction and gloss over the fact that it's like somebody is literally stepping into your mind and making your inner fantasies come out. It can feel very vulnerable and intense.

The 7th House 💍

Oh, isn't this one a gem?! Perhaps one of the most sought after in synastry. But the idea here is to provide an alternative perspective, so here goes: if it's badly aspected, or there's other challenging factors involved (the person falling into your 7H is problematic themselves), you're gonna run into the issues people often attribute to 1st house synastry, such as superficiality and a "false love" because 7H Synastry, regardless if it's good or bad, creates somebody who's "perfect on paper". They say the right things, they do the right things, they seem to fit into your whole ideals. But that does not guarantee that that's who they truly are. That's just who you think they are. Remember – the 7H is the house of "other". So it's not about you. It's about the other. But it's rather how you act around said other, and also how you perceive them.

(It's tough to say this, but you gotta be real to help some people out there who might have had 7H Synastry and didn't understand why the relationship failed, since everyone online claims it's a guaranteed soulmate. It's because Synastry goes both ways. And all houses have good and bad. There is no such thing as the perfect Synastry. But in the case of the 7H, I'd say it's the real life case of "if it's good, then it will be amazing. Truly a soulmate. But if it's bad... it will be awful. Just not immediately.)

Going off of the previous comment, another grim way this Synastry can turn out is in its binding effect. And I don't mean anything spiritual or abstract here. I mean literally binding. Imagine a relationship going sideways like that AND you are also now married or share a business together. MESS! This is the house of contracts and long-term. Remember Saturn exalts in Libra, because Libra likes things that last, and Saturn is the planet of long-term, so the house of Libra will sprinkle that lasting effect over whatever it touches. And if you're in a 7H relationship, that relationship will last with you, whether good or bad. It will take A WHILE to break off from it, either mentally, emotionally, psychologically, legally or financially.

(e.g. somebody has their moon in your 7H, but it's a moon at fall, in Scorpio, and it's afflicted in their natal chart. Now, at the beginning they will seem like a gift from God directly to you, so much so that you decide to make it official... And then, one or two years in, living together, each day it gets more toxic and draining and the dark sides just oozes out of your relationship. But now you are legally married, and divorcing will take time, bureaucracy, money and emotional energy, not to mention you'll have to uproot your entire life, explain it to your social circles and families... And what seemed like your dream come true was in fact a bitter lesson to learn).

To veer away from the dark twists of the last ones, let's dissect the correlations people make with the 7th house, like "oh, your spouse will be interested in art, and beauty, and music, and sophisticated things!" Why? Are you marrying a Libra? A Libra rising? Somebody with a Libra Venus? No? Then that has nothing to do with 7H Synastry. Houses are not signs, signs are not houses. Libra is one thing, the 7H is another. Venus rules Libra, which resides in the 7H, but Venus doesn't rule the 7H. It merely influences the 7H. It would be a better guess to say you might have met your person while they (or you) were already in a relationship than it is to say you met because of beauty-related things, or art, or music, since the 7H doesn't talk of any of those things, but it DOES talk of committed relationships.

(e.g. you might have met the person right after they (or you) got divorced. They might be connected to an ex of yours. Or another possibility that isn't talked about is how the person you eventually end up with is someone you have liked for a long time, but never got the chance to be with until now. Since this is the house of long-term relationships, having placements here could indicate that the person you ultimately stay with long-term is someone you already knew prior to getting together, but you needed to experience other relationships before you united with them.)

Another final aspect of placements in this house is the fact that it doesn't just deal with your love relationships, but also the way you consciously present yourself with others. How you behave socially. But also the mirror effect of this house, speaking directly about love. This is, after all, the house directly opposing the 1st house of self. In that regard, this is similar to 1H synastry, with the exception that in this one, instead of you coming out of your shell subconsciously, you make a conscious effort to become your best for your person here. You want to live up to all of your potential.

The 2nd House 💆‍♂️

This one is a bit tricky for me, because I'm not materialistic AT ALL. I have a Taurus Lilith in the 2nd house, so, I express it on the other end of the spectrum. When you have that placement, you either put too much value on money and material things, or you are completely unattached from it, and that's me. So the whole "money this, money that!" vibe is not my scene. I don't see a price in life, I see value. With that said, let's get this going.

Yes, this is the house of money and material things. Yes, it will deal with your personal finances. But no, unless other parts of your chart/Synastry agree with it, somebody's placements falling here should not have a lasting effect. It might merely indicate you overspending on dates and gifts. The 2H is the house of YOUR money, which means that the whole "oh, they're gonna shower you in gifts!", "And this is a sugar baby aspect!", "Your person will want to spend all their money on you and buy you expensive things!" is probably not gonna happen, sorry. If it does, it will be you spending your money.

(And if you do spend your money, the whole "gifts" thing is also not that common, because normal people don't just go around buying gifts for others every other day of the week, unless they have some sort of imbalance. Such a consumerist mindset! Not everything is about paying for things or buying things. That's a VERY American culture of dating, specially for women. This nasty idea that a man has to buy you or he's not good. Which is what encourages habits like thinking the man always has to be covering your finances (how old are you, 5? Get a job and pay for your own damn self! You are an adult woman), paying for your food, buying you a house, giving you gifts all the time and affording expensive dates. You are not a product. If your biggest incentive to be with a man is because of how much he pays for you, then that's the world's oldest profession, not a relationship of love. So this should play out more like them helping you manage your own finances. Don't go around thinking a 2H love placement is gonna turn you into Cinderella.)

If you do happen to be a stay-at-home person in your relationship, which is valid, as long as it's not all about money, 2H love placements and synastry will talk more about other material aspects of things. It will talk of stability, sustainability, longevity and security.

(e.g.: it could mean that you allocate your resources towards creating a safe, stable environment for your life together to flourish, such as buying things for your home together, revising your finances to make life goals and plans together more viable, setting budgets to achieve milestones together... as well as the literal physical aspects of valuables, so using your resources towards nourishment (food, shelter, clothing and health). Things that will ensure your relationship lasts and endures through hardships and tribulations. In the 2H of values, Synastry could indicate the relationship itself becoming your prized possession that you take care of. All the Earth houses are about caring for things, just in different ways.)

Another poorly explored aspect of the 2H is values in the moral, spiritual and emotional sense. It's WORTH. Both the causes you find worthy as well as your self-worth. A 2H love placement or Synastry can and will directly affect that. Even if you do happen to be dealing with financial/material things too, that can affect your self-worth directly.

(e.g.: say you are married to someone who is constantly in debt, or say your spouse is the breadwinner of the household and you depend on them financially. That can really take a toll on your self-worth. It can bring feelings of poor self-esteem, can you make you feel undervalued, inadequate, make you feel like a burden, or make you feel incapable of caring for yourself. It can strike your self-confidence and make you VALUE yourself less. Or the opposite. Your spouse may open you up to new possibilities of making money, which in turn gets you into a new passion project that you succeed in and that can make you feel like a worthy person, make you believe in yourself, make you feel important and valuable.)

I would argue that most often, it's the 8H Synastry that will really have your partner's materials affecting you, because the 2H is the house of your PERSONAL gains, while the 8H is the house of OTHERS' gains and possessions. Most often, the biggest impact I'd say 2H love placements have will be dealing with self-worth, self-confidence, shared values and morals, feelings of belonging and acceptance.

General Things ✨

What I see most often is that positive and negative outcomes tend to happen simultaneously. It's not all doom and gloom, but it's also not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not so great, and those ups and downs come and go. That's just life. Both are there to be worked with, worked for, or worked through. At the end of the day, astrology will not mandate your life events, and you have to always be learning from your life, and working on yourself and the things that matter to you. Astrology is just a guiding light to identify possible themes to be mindful of.

**************************************************

That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far! I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.

My whole goal is to try to discuss astrology in as realistically as possible, but while making it clear that any possible outcome is plausible. If most times all you hear are fantastic stereotypical descriptions of placements, such as 7H, the not so great ways in which it can play out will be explored here to help people navigate them. If all you hear are bad things about a house, then I'll try to show the positive ways in which it can come out.

The whole point is to try to bring a wide range of notions to these descriptions, together with the information that is already out there and available by many other creators.

At the end of the day, remember this is all POSSIBILITIES. Your personal life has to be analysed to know what's gonna ensue. And don't be discouraged, because the truth is that positive and negative effects tend to happen together for your best.

Hope you have a good day when you find this!

MASTERLIST

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology #natal chart #astrology notes #synastry observations #synastry #zodiac #composite chart

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hrrtshape · 2 days ago

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FAME DR — weird, little problems

⋆ forgetting where i last put my designer sunglasses almost every day, which means my assistant has 7 extra pairs on standby – and half of them aren’t even mine. i think.

⋆ chipping a perfectly manicured nail right before a photoshoot, then having to hide that hand in every single shot. it’s not diva behaviour if it’s just a matter of survival, okay?

⋆ getting the cutest, keeeeeewlest gifts from fans, but they’re wrapped like fort knox!??!! i end up spending 15 minutes trying to carefully open everything without ripping a single bow or little note.

⋆ that eternal (sisyphus mentioned) inner struggle of “is the vintage dior too much for buying soy milk? what if i get spotted?” and realising it’s already 7 PM and i’m still in that closet, no closer to getting groceries.

⋆ finding a way to stuff a giant PR package from hermès into my handbag while also managing keys, phone, and fan mail that i promised to keep safe.

⋆ putting on the most basic hoodie and jeans (and even a cap….) to blend in, but the cashier still goes, “wait. wait, wait, wait. aren’t you that famous actress? OH MY GOD!!!” so much for being “low-key.” i just wanted soy milk, hello??

⋆ walking into an event in the perfect lightweight dress only to find out the AC is set to antarctic levels, and now i’m shivering while trying to look composed.

⋆ trying to angle my face for selfies with fans because of that one side i’m convinced is my "best," and they never seem to choose it. so much for scripting “i look divine in all angles……..”

⋆ having a full lineup of glorious, beautiful, fantastic, bewitching lipsticks to choose from and still somehow going with the same one every day. guess that signature look isn’t so much a choice as it is reality.

⋆ saying "thank you" to fans in a raspy post-performance voice, only to have it crack halfway through like i’m in middle school. cute. also a bit pathetic, but i hope nobody noticed it (it’s already on twitter. okay. fml).

⋆ catching a glimpse of myself before an interview and realising i lost one of my statement earrings somewhere in the makeup chair. so it’s off with the other one, and fingers crossed no one notices !!

⋆ stumbling into clouds of fans’ perfume that just won’t leave, so now i’m a weird medley of their scents instead of my signature one. WHO’S WEARING DIOR SAUVAGE, GET THEM OUT.

⋆ thinking i’ll just take a “few quick pics” after an event, but that “few” turns into 70 fans waiting in line and smiling with them all. i’m happy to do it, but babygirl….. those cheeks start to hurt by #27.

⋆ walking the red carpet in sky-high heels and reminding myself NOT to look down because one glance and it’s wobble central and then god knows i’ll be crying off sheer embarrassment, guilt and shame and then sticking that heel into my neck (medieval girl with sword in neck recreation, well yes!).

⋆ trying to sneak a snack in between takes but terrified of crumbs, so i’m eating chips with the slow precision of a surgeon.

⋆ constantly having that goddamn phone on 5% because i forgot to charge it while on set, so now it’s a frantic hunt for a charger before the next event.

⋆ pulling my hair out at night only to realise my hoodie has taken a chunk of it with it. fan photos the next morning with that bald spot are just not the vibe, i fear.

⋆ jet-setting for events means my phone calendar is permanently confused, and i’m somehow late to things happening in my home time zone.

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sulumuns-dootah · 2 days ago

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Assigning WHB demons plants/flowers based off the vibes: Abyssos

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: I think I need to start attending some botany classes again bc from the way these post are turning into me rambling about plants i can tell I miss it :D

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Nepenthes rajah

I don't think this plant has a common name, but if it did it would be smth like Rat/Mouse eating pitcher plant

Bc that's exactly what the plant does

It's just big enough for the small rodent to climb into and never see the light of day again

This also probably explains why I picked it for Beel

I mean, he literally eats angels whole

(I find pitcher plants really cool bc they're literally just a pitchers filled with digestive fluid, but they're not necessary carnivorous - some life off of animal droppings or insects)

༺☆༻

Venus flytrap - Dionaea muscipula

At first i was gonna include maybe some other pitcher plant or completely different plant...

But then again, Bael is literally catching the King of flies on daily basis

Idk why, but looking at pics of the open leaves is really calming to me

Having them is kinda cool bc sometimes you just walk past and see one of their leaves closed bc it caught a fly and you'll feel kinda proud of your little baby for catching something

From my experience they don't close when you give them dead one, though

They might also be a bit harder to keep alive...

Mine made it few months, but then bloomed and died shortly after I cut the flower off (similar thing also happened to my friend who specialises in succulents and carnivorous plants so I don't think I did anything wrong)

༺☆༻

Poison Ivy - Toxicodendron

At first I was thinking I'll give Stolas something bird-named, but I really wantd somethinig that looks harmless, and the moment you mess with, you're in for a lot of pain

And this plant baby delivers

I've never had the misfortune of meeting it, but I haver heard the stories

For those who don't know: Contanct wiht the plant gives you a nasty rash, sometimes with some blisters

Interestingly, looking it up on wikipedia, there's even what would happen if you smoked or eaten it....

As if you'd wanna do that after getting a rash just touching that thing

(You skin is pretty much reacting to the oil on the leaves, so after you come to contact make sure to wash it off or you'll spread it on other things too)

༺☆༻

Hypoestes

I can only talk about this moody beauty from experience since there isn't much info online

From what I've found there's about 150 scpecies in this family

Doesn't require much sunlight, but needs water

And oh boy, the amount of water...

The reason why I picked this plant for Amon is how easy it is for the leaves to start drooping

Just like him being constantly tired

But oh boy, the drooping... One minute she looks good and then two minutes later she's on the verge of death

It's not good to have planters just sitting in water bc of the risk of mold, but this one might just need it

༺☆༻

Common Ivy - Hedera Helix

Originally I wanted to go again with a plant based off his animal form, but then while writing for Amon, I saw normal Ivy

The ultimate Dark Academia plant that looks so good growing around anything

It's perfect for a demon they sometimes call Class President

I really love Common Ivy bc of how much you can use her for

Amazing use for Ivy is putting her into floral arrangements and the amazing thing is that it'll mostly keep its color as long as it's not left out in the rain or your glue gun set on too high temperature

Fun fact: The leaves of the plant are different on normal branches from the branches with a flower

#what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad?#whb beelzebub #whb bael #whb stolas #whb naberius #whb amon #I just need to make it through a year or so of accounting studies and then I can apply to study botany at a college ^^

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girldriveroscar · 2 days ago

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Parasocial Oscar and Landoscar analysis ahead u have been warned.

Contextually, 2020 Oscar was finally pushing open the door to the world of F1 as a potential driver (Mark Webber management, Renault Sport Academy, Eurocup Championship, etc.) and that fact combined with still being a schoolboy, surrounded by mates who actively followed his career and were his personal hypemen definitely made Oscar a bit of a hotshot to gossip about. Sure, he's kinda a nerd who games and races but also he's got great grades and a pretty girlfriend and he's coworkers with max fewtrell, best friend of emerging F1 heartthrob, lando norris, so really the cards were lining up in his favor. And yet none of that success (both socially, as it appeared to his peers, and personally, career-wise) went to Oscars head. Rather, he oozed this dorky endearing confidence that planted the seed of cool self-certainty that'd follow him into his F1 career. I mean from the very start, we can witness how Oscar took everything in stride, building a strong sense of self over easily inflating his ego.

This got kinda long so the rest goes under the cut for organizing sake!

Then, observing his Prema years, Oscar was newly thrust into a whole new team vibe. And in response, he outwardly tried time and time again to be a team player with the hazing/embarrassing bits (insert multiple clips of him dancing and singing despite initial hesitation, easily accepting very personal race vlogging into his daily regime, making hundreds of silly gifs for every occasion (heavily encourage everyone to take a look bc there's genuinely so many))

NGL watching Prema vids was what initially helped me understand Oscar better/made me like him bc we get the most clear display of his lack of ego. There seemed to be a general understanding coming out of this content: the media took an exorbitant amount of energy and wasn't at all conducive to developing his racecraft. buuuuuut regardless Oscar maintained an attitude of these people are my closest thing to family out here, they care about my wellbeing and my success and god damn it if they wanna take photos in matching Christmas PJs then hand over the damn PJs. And that was all of course bolstered by his growing success and notoriety on twitter. Just as he'd established a strong sense of self from the very start, now his public identity took it's shape in a way that felt honest and lifelike <Insert Clip of Angelina pointing out his messy clothes and Piastri Shrug>. He managed to carve out a niche amongst the Prema cast and it's not that he needed to be funny but if people memed him and laughed then hey if it gets me popularity I'm all for it.

Honestly when people dog on Oscar, saying he's got no personality it makes me crazy because it's the total opposite! I think the charm in observing his growth from Renault Academy to Prema to F1 is catching how quickly he established an unchanging confidence in not only his racecraft and wheel knowledge but also in his personality- and how that personality shines through in subtle ways. When Lando does his negging, everyone just heard Oscar sing for the first time in McLaren, am I a funny teammate, Oscar takes it in stride. He doesn't blush, nor take insult, because he has no complex - he's confident about who he is, even if people don't find it amusing. Oscar knows he's not too shy to burst into song, it's just that there isn't anyone who needs him to, so why should he? He knows Lando doesn't think he's funny, but it's not like he was trying to be anyways, so what's it matter? On the flip side too, the rare times we get an outward expression of his confidence are GEMS. The Pool Promo, where he *unprompted* shows off with a trickshot and wins, THIS VIDEO where he eggs on Lando to call lies on his confidence, calling out Carlos/Lance when they interfere with his driving, does it please you greatly that you've won before Lando, is max the best driver on the grid, the whole cricket video, etc etc.

(LOL because I write about fashion outside of this blog and someone might appreciate the connection, in my brain I kinda liken Lando and Oscar's respective confidence to loud/quiet luxury. Lando's a OOAK Hot Pink Birkin and Oscar is a Helmut Lang black slack lolol) (Not a diss btw both items have social connotations/importance that we could unpack for hours but I digress)

I digress I digress I digress. Going back to the Prema assigned humiliation rituals. In a way I think Oscar's ethos regarding embarrassment/lack of ego heavily simplifies down to this story. His mom goes on to explain how after winning an award she gave him a big kiss in front of the whole school and, contrary to how most kids would be embarrassed or angry at the sudden loud affection, Oscar just brushed it off like no matter! "He's just resigned to it" <- literally the most OP81 psychoanalysis of all time thank you Nicole Piastri. For Oscar, the implied embarrassment he should be feeling does not register, as he simply receives love without any grievances, and hasn't the mind to worry how everyone else perceives this exchange. I swear I have a point pls stick with me. So, reiterating, this is the Prema treatment, sitting in front of the camera, Oscar resigns to producing content that's at least moderately enthusing because at the end of the day, the love for his team and the people he's working with is what's worth sacrificing mystery or "cool-ness" for. And even that's a bit of a misstep because I don't think he views it as a sacrifice so much as 'being perceived' doesn't fall on his radar of important things at all. Which! is what makes Oscar SO effortlessly nonchalant in an objectively cool way! (like this is where the more surface-level likening to Kimi Raikkonen <certified Ice Man> comes from) (The real Oscar freaks know he's not any cooler than his indifference and he's actually an incredibly endearingly awkward guy. He just doesn't take himself too serious, idk you get it.)

Now continuing down this timeline, F1 Oscar, who's got exponentially more eyes on him and a humongous team of people who's names he is still learning- comparatively, who is the one guy he can definitely remember the name of. In this transfer of teams and people, all this “I love you even if its kinda objectively embarrassing for me” energy Has to go somewhere and where else would it go than the one guy who’s name he can remember; the one guy in the same exact position as him; the one guy who he’s followed and idolized since 14! YEAH YEAH. And now Lando himself is hardly an extrovert like Oscar’s old prema friends/coworkers, so instead of yes I'll do a stupid dance so you can have good content and make your job easier Oscar -Acts of Service- Piastri has kinda got the most easy job in the world of loving Lando —I just want to make eye contact and know you hate/love this as much as I do— Norris. Like they genuinely match each others freaks in the sweetest introverted mutually beneficial way.

When you really dissect Oscar's Prema content, he’s equally expressive to everyone! He stares holes in the heads of Fred/Logan, doubles over laughing at Arthur/Robert, blushes over Angelina's teasing; it's a sanction of his care and attention divulged to each person in his sphere, one slice of the Oscar cake. Now take Lando? He's been treated to the whole Oscar Cake with a side of ice cream and a cherry on top. Like imagine if you had 10 glasses of water and you poured all of that water into one glass. Suddenly it’s overflowing and there’s water all over the table and the mess is apparent to everyone and the waiter is bringing over towels and someone's grandma just fucking slipped in the puddle and there's a baby crying and- right? right. Oscar’s love language that was distributed across an entire team of people now has nowhere to go but Lando. And not only is it love in respect to the game, it's I've known you years before you knew me, I fell asleep to your voice, watched you grow into the man you are today type love. Oscar is folded at the waist drowning Lando, staring at him with the force of 10x one man's ration of love and we are all god's honest witnesses! Yea no wonder he want that cookie so effing bad tf!!!!!

And it’s such a compelling dynamic because Oscar has been ready to transfer that quiet affection since the very beginning (had old pics of Lando on his phone up through his first year of F1 rightttt right) and since the start of it all, we just get front row seats to Lando reacting to this unconditional respect/love. WHICH IS EVEN GREATER FOR THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOS BC LANDO IS SUCH A WEIRDO AND HIS COMPLEXES TOWARDS OSCAR ARE SO COMPLICATED. Basically like. idk. I love when they beef bc Oscar is like I love u I love u I love u and landos like idgaf I’m cheating on u actually no I’m sorry come here I will give u silly nicknames reserved for only me to call u, but actually fuck u and ur talent I’m not spraying u w champange but also oh my god I’m a mess come be freaky w me about it,,,,, the put Lando Norris in a scenario versus his own mind agenda is great. (Bringing back the og tag to just say not ln4 hate, i just like to observe him like a bug in a jar and shake the jar hard bc he is a millionaire and my silly wabbit who I experiment on) anyways. Yea. Lando is complex. Oscar is cool bc he doesn’t care if he is cool and yet simultaneously he's so uncool bc having a crush on a guy for 8 years before being his mclaren arranged failhusband has never been easier nor sexier. OKAY. NO MORE. for now.

#woke up with even more to say this is too long I'm so sorry #did someone say parasocial?#ln4 meta #op81 meta #814 meta #landoscar #lando norris #oscar piastri

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k-tarotz · 16 hours ago

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mtl enha who'd be more into serious relationship ? 🥰

MTL - who prefers serious relationships - Enhypen

Sunghoon

Jay

Niki

Jungwon

Heesung

Jake

Sunoo

Sunghoon and Jay's energy are more like "I want something stable, even in chaotic times where nothing is set in stone I want to have this one person in my life who will always be here for me even if everything else is burning around me" Hmm although jay would be more open to go on dates, like multiple ones, to get to know xzy better and to see if they are compatible if so he would go on more dates with the person and become a couple if it feels right, if not he would accept that it's just not meant to be and move on - going on dates with someone else. Not necessarily within a short time range, his career seems more important to him, but he kinda has the mindset of 'this could be the one this time!' You know? Kinda hopeful for himself, he doesn't want to accidentally miss his s/o also more open to look for love, he wants love in his life.

Meanwhile sunghoon is a bit more picky on that, he doesn't go on dates and if he does it's rarely, I can see him not really having the energy for this unless he is really interested in a person and wants to get to know them for real. So he is more likely to turn down date's if he doesn't already feel interested at least in some type of way. He has the mindset of "if it's meant to be it will happen regardless" also believes more in fate and soulmates, that there is always a way that his romantic soulmate will find him somehow and if necessary more than once. His energy is telling me that he is insecure and in his low moments he even thinks 'would they even love me the way I am right now?' Talking about that, another reason why he rarely goes on dates is also because he doesn't want to date or even become a couple with someone who only likes him for his fame or his looks - this boy has been asked out many many times in his life, even before he became an idol, he is aware that there are people, regardless if it's fans or someone in the same industry as him, who literally only want him for his public persona, his looks or his fame but he doesn't want that, he wants someone who will like him for his personality and he says that's not as smooth as it might seem but I won't get into this further. Sunghoon would also like his parents to approve of whoever he will end up with, it seems important to him at least that's his mindset for now.

Niki is similar to jay and sunghoon, he also wants to find the one and wants to feel loved while giving love back, he is more likely to turn dates down too but might ask someone out if they catch his eye - especially with some sort of talent, like dancing. He is a bit unsure what exactly he wants yet, might be attracted to different kind of people (so for example he doesn't prefer only cute girls/boys or only sexy ones) it's like everyone is different so they can have a different charm and whatever suits them he will be attracted to them rather for themselves than their style - and of course the personality too although he might prefer someone who's a bit calmer/cooler vibe than someone who's very extroverted and loves spotlight (not saying he wouldn't be interested in someone who's extroverted as long as it's not too much)

Jungwon would prefer a serious relationship too, one thar can last a few years, but he also doesn't want to settle down too fast? So if he looses feelings or something happens within the relationship that lasted years then he wouldn't mind breaking up and moving on instead of trying to fix something that's too broken to fix. He definitely wants to make more experiences and therefore is more open for dates, might as well get a bit touchy if the setting and everything else feels right (he doesn't mean sexual things though, especially not on the first nor second date) his energy is also telling me that he is the type who would be interested in both - fans and other idols / someone who's a public person

Heesung, Jake and sunoo are the type who don't want anything serious yet - though if it happens they will stay. What I'm hearing is "I'm still young" so they definitely want to date around more and are also more willing to get into short term relationships knowing they won't last as long as it feels good and right in the moment. Sunoos energy seems a bit hurt, his relationships doesn't always end on good terms despite that he knows that it wasn't meant to last, but the way of the break up sometimes leave a small scar on his soul. He's a bit different from Jake and Heesung in this because he wouldn't actually mind being in a longterm relationship, he definitely wants someone stable in his life who he can genuinely open up to and be just himself also someone he can tell anything to, who won't kiss and tell, so definitely someone trustworthy - but for some reason it just doesn't want to turn out the way he wants to. "Why does everyone get a happy ending but not me?" He is emotionally very vulnerable, he wants someone who will last although he thinks sometimes like "even if this one won't last, I want to be happy for aa long as I can until it ends" he also gets crushes quite easily, not serious ones but still. From those two he is definitely more open for a serious relationship, but can handle shorter ones good as long as they don't end messy/painfully because he can move on and he knows his own worth and believes almost manifests someone new into his life. Jake and Heesung are similar to each other in this sense because they would prefer making more experiences (sexually as well) with more than just one or two people in their life. Definitely both of them are more open for dates, one of them might even find it a bit thrilling to kiss without knowing thr other one's name yet, only finding it out afterwards. Looks and talents is what would sway them, personality would make them stay. Both of them the types to get into short-term relationships without regrets (as long as it doesn't end messy/painful) "I'll marry the one o truly love when I will be ready, but right now I am not, it will take a few years and until then I want to be free" also both of them seem to prefer being more experienced than their future spouse's, kinda want to hear how good they are right at their first time with their fs (no idea why they wanted me to tell this but ig I appreciate the honesty😭)

This was kind of a bit chaotic but very real, no sugarcoating. This was done intuitively although afterwards I checked with my tarot cards to make sure I didn't misinterpret any message of their energies 🫶🏻 some were more willing to talk than others and I won't force anyone to say more than they want, therefore some members sections are a bit shorter and some a bit longer 🩵

- Hun

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ravenbloodshot · 3 days ago

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Mingyu- Seventeen.....Dark Side Tarot Reading

As a Person

When I first tapped into his energy, I saw a scene of him having a complete tantrum. Screaming; yelling; pulling at his hair; just completely raging out. I also heard him say "fuck him! Fuck them! Fuck all of this shit!"

This makes me think that at a certain level of him being pissed off (which i do think takes alot for him to go this far), he can turn into a person that stops giving af about any and everybody. I don't exactly think he seeks revenge, but I do think he ends up wanting to take his anger out on someone or something. And he doesn't exactly care who/what it is. It's like getting so mad that you see red. This type of uncontrollable rage in Mingyu can be very destructive and just simply not healthy

He can be the kind of person to want success and money by taking shortcuts or not hustling as hard as others to get it. It's giving vibes of a person that would attach himself to nepo babies, socialites, and other well well off folk to get ahead. But I also see that in his blind attraction to just being in the presence of wealth, he could befriend scammers, criminals and people that lowkey get their money in more nefarious ways, while on the surface things look more legit. (This is an odd example but I'm getting reminded of how, in the past, corrupt South korean presidents would take bribes and gifts from big conglomerates like Samsung in exchange for tax cuts etc....). I can see Mingyu being this way if he falls too deep into chasing after the bag and keeping up with the Jones. His lesson in life will likely be "everything that glitters ain't gold."

To add onto this. He could possibly even get his friends to participate in these more sketchy business dealings( like promoting shady companies to fans) . Even resorting to peer pressure or guilt tripping if they were more hesitant to get involved.

Mingyu may weaponize his ignorance alot. I can see that in his love life, he could purposefully remain ignorant about things so that he doesn't have to put too much effort into a lover/partner. For an example, he could be dating someone and not know things like their birthday, important anniversaries etc.... so when these events arrive and he "forgets", he could just claim ignorance and be forgiven. "You know I love you hun, I didn't mean to forget, I just had a lot going on".🥺

Very manipulative person, knows how to touch at a person's heartstrings and weasel his way out of trouble.

Dark Things In love:

He enjoys the chase. Like a true aries man, he loves the chase. He loves the idea of wanting a person who doesn't want him. The dark side to this is.....Mingyu likes the fact that even when he becomes fixed on a person, their not the only one. He's like, " Yeah, I'm showering you with all of these gifts, love and attention, but I could be doing this to a million other women."

Mingyu likes arrogance in his partners as well (think Regina George) to the point of being kind of a bitch and low-key a bully. He likes that catty and bratty attitude, wants a partner that demands things of him (like commitment or loyalty), and doesn't concede easily. The only dark thing I'm seeing from this is that wanting this type of partner could lead to his connections turning into full out battlegrounds. Both parties are very stubborn, hotheaded, and in the mindset of "I'm right, you're wrong". He's gonna get what he asks for tryna wife up a Regina George.

Big Spender by Smiler and Lana del Rey is a song that fits this reading's energy

#kpop readings #kpop #kpop tarot #tarot reading #seventeen #mingyu tarot #mingyu seventeen #seventeen mingyu #mingyu #aries sun #seventeen tarot #spotify #Spotify

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turn-my-hollow-purple · 3 days ago

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What Clique Stereotype Each AOT Character Is

this is in honor of the fact that the only thing on my mind right now is GENUINELY gothkasa like omfg I need her so bad it's not even funny you guys PLUH EASEEEE-

Eren: you're surprised he's actually passing his classes because he never turns in work, etc. (thanks to Armin and Mikasa); all the girls like him but he just exist you guys.. I will not fall into the Eren frat boy agenda I swear... (I want to so bad) but yeah he kinda bullies other kids and says "no it's just a joke, trust"

Armin: chess club captain! y'all knew this was coming I'm afraid but he's a cutie pie... obviously a brainiac... maybe a band kid too (positive)

Mikasa: she is a part of the alt kids, falling into the goth subculture! goth music, dark clothes, gloomy vibes, and boy oh boy does she pull it off

Jean: he's like... how do I put this... he's the kid who's quarterback on the football team and the lead in the school musical. A man who can do both dare I say

Connie: CLASS CLOWN! But not the kind that thinks he's better than anyone, people actually enjoy Connie's humor. Occasional spit ball at the teacher though... he frequents detention

Sasha: she is the 'leaves class early and shows up to class late' stereotype... except it's not intentional. And when she is in class? She's asleep.

Annie: she's also in the alt scene with Miksasa, but she fits into the grunge, skater kid scene. This means dark clothes as well, but she's got her skateboard, a vape, eyeliner, and emo music (I'm projecting slightly)

Bertholdt: he's giving class vice-president... he's a little goody-two shoes but not popular enough to be the actual class president. People enjoy him though because he's a sweetie

Reiner: That one kid you swear you've never seen without headphones on like are they permanently in your ears or something bitch hello? He's also a band kid (derogatory)

Ymir: she is also a part of the alt scene but she is 100% the queer stoner girl (also drug dealer lmfao); she dresses more boho vibes but always has some form of weed on her and she is your plug... also lowkey an art kid

Historia: my darling theatre kid. She's the lead in all the plays, musicals, performances, etc. She's really talented and pretty and everyone loves her so much. She probably gets homecoming queen

Levi: that one literature teacher that never seems to give 100% no matter how well the work is done... will blatantly tell a student that they're wrong instead of the classic 'oh that's a good try... not exactly what I was looking for though', it's just straight up 'no that's wrong.'

Erwin: this is the male history teacher who everyone's kind of in love with just because he's so attractive and lowkey so fun to learn from, but you also speculate might be kinda gay? He gets super into his lectures and his students love how interactive he is

Hange: OKAY SO- they're the science teacher who lowkey doesn't know wtf is happening but goes with it anyway... sometimes the students have to teach them what they're supposed to be doing and if you're in their class, there's a good chance you're fearing for your life at some point during lecture

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cas-spirit · 3 days ago

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@ancha-aus has been making a Subnautica/UTMV au, and it got me thinking

(This is unrelated to ancha’s au, but she inspired this thinking exercise. Go check out her project!!! It's very interesting.) (Sorry if you don't like getting tagged Ancha)

What species I would give each Sans (I haven’t played below zero yet, so there are only animals from the original)

Classic: Gasopod

~~~They strike me as chill fish

Swap: Rabbit Ray

~~~Vibes

Fell: Biter

~~~It was between Biter and Crashfish, but I don't see Fell as that self destructive

Outer: Ampeel

~~~The white spots at the end of it's spikes makes me think of stars, especially if they were glowing in the dark ocean

Geno: Ghost Ray

~~~It was between Ghost Ray and Jellyray, but Ghost Rays appear in the Lost River, a hard to reach place like the Save Screen is

Ccino: Cuddlefish

~~~A friendly face for a friendly face

Farm: Skyray

~~~These guys are above water animals, so Farm can still do his namesake, probably watching over the farms previous crash survivors left behind

Epic: Warper

~~~These guys scared the shit out of me in my game. But, they're strong and purple

Color: Sea trader Leviathan

~~~He's absorbed six human souls, he can be a leviathan, but Color gives me the vibes of a wanderer, someone who can't stay in one place

Delta: River Prowler

~~~Vibes

Dust: Stalker

~~~Their whole sneaky factor reminds me of how Dust is normally quite, probably sneaking up on people without meaning to

Horror: Sand shark

~~~Exploding out of the ground makes me think of Horror and I can't explain why

Killer: Bone shark

~~~These guys are very persistent, almost followed me back to my base in my game

Cross: Crabsquid

~~~Apparently you can hatch these guys to guard your base? Literal guard behavior

Nightmare: Sea Dragon leviathan

Dream: Sea Emperor leviathan

~~~The difference between Dream being more of a peacekeeper/passive while Nightmare won't take shit/is more aggressive

Ink: Reefback OR Sea Dragon leviathan

~~~He plants multicolored coral on his back to look colorful OR being the one Leviathan with arm/hand adjacent limbs would be helpful for creating things

Error: Reaper leviathan

~~~Had to make him the most aggressive Leviathan

Reaper: Ghost leviathan

~~~While it was tempting to make him a reaper leviathan, he's not that aggressive. The Ghost leviathan's glow gives it an otherworldly feel, which I think matches the god of death.

(Bonus) Passive: Mesmer

~~~Vibes

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tisamustdie · 3 days ago

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Buckle up, bitch. Let's analyze

So.

The date: Today's the 11th of November, the day Veterans Day, related to WW1. The only time (as far as I know) MCR has alluded to WW1 specifically is The Ghost of You music video, with the guys being the bloody first. They alluded to war in general many other times though.

Caption: this initially reminded me of the line from The End. "when I grow up I want to be nothing at all", but that's just the vibes.

Letters: new logo? Maybe. But it doesn't say MCR, but KCR. You know what has K in it? Paper Kingdom. So, since The Witch has been leaked in full this year, and Wake Up! and Dark Cloud had some snippets leaked, could this be A proper Paper Kingdom release?? Mostly wishful thinking

Background: The city reminds me of New York City. Knowing Gerard and his history with 9/11, it wouldn't surprise me that this is related to it. This could also be the non-ruined background of the Swarm Tour background. Kinda looks like the city in the background of The Black Parade promo art. In the topic of The Black Parade, the confetti reminds me of the confetti from the WTTBP music video, along with the overwhelming white color of the post. It wouldn't make much sense for it to be related to The Black Parade, though. The 18th anniversary was back in September, we already have a full rerecording+demos album (Living With Ghosts). WWWYF was three weeks ago, so it also makes no sense for them to post something about it, especially whilst being this cryptic.

This means one thing.

MCR5 IS FUCKING COMING

I told y'all. I FUCKING TOLD Y'ALL.

#mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way #frank iero #ray toro #mikey way #fucking around and across #mcr5

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tinycheesecakedetective · 3 days ago

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INTRODUCTION

"Deep within the bowels of Beast-Yeast rests a forest unlike anything you've seen before. Walls of ivy weave through abandoned settlements. The canopy of trees looms above you, each branch buckling and interlocking with another as they block your path. Dirt roads litter the floor, always ending at the same place."

"What was once a solace for many has twisted into a refuge for one cookie only. Those that enter her woods are at her mercy."

"She is relentless, she is cruel, and she is desperate. And you're the only one who can stop her."

~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone! I'm back to ramble on some more about things I made. Today I would like to talk about Wilted Lily Cookie! Of course, I won't be going too deep into her. This post will be covering her general vibes, as well as a bit about her area and her backstory. This will not be covering her relationships with other cookies, her arc with Fleur de Sal, any other motivations, etc. All of those topics will be covered in future posts.

Now, without further ado, let's begin.

GENERAL INFORMATION

Once the witches' most promising protégé, Wilted Lily was revered and adored by her peers and followers. But after an attack from wild witches, the growing tension on Earthbread, and a confrontation turned violent, the Silver Guardian turned her back on everything she knew. Now known as the Witch of the Ravenous Wilds, the beast became hellbent on making the witches atone for their actions.

While her overall demeanor appears meek, do not be fooled. Her cruelty knows no bounds, and she can upend societies with a single hum. Her word is a disease that plagues the hearts and minds of her followers, and her confidants remain loyal to her and her madness alone. Don't bother reasoning with them, they can't be saved.

Wilted Lily is the fourth ancient to become a beast.

She's naturally gifted at phytokinesis, but leans more on dark magic.

Back when she was the Silver Guardian, Elder Faerie would show her a special vault of spells, giving her a wide access to faerie magic.

Her relationship to the beasts as a whole is neutral, viewing them as a necessary demonstration of the witches' neglect. Once she stops them, well... The other beasts won't be an issue.

LOCATIONS

The Ravenous Wilds Beyond the borders of Faeriewood lies the Ravenous Wilds, a no man's land overrun by plant life and dark magic of all kinds. The forest is almost impossible to enter by normal means. Wilted Lily has ensured that herself. Those that try to enter never return, or rather don't return whole.

If you manage to enter despite that, you'll be met with a heavy fog and gnarled, overgrown vines mimicking trees swaying in the wind. The sky becomes a light crimson, and no stars are visible to the naked eye. Many strange and new creatures wander the wilds, and they won't attack unless they deem you a threat, so keep your head low and your weapons lower.

The deeper you go, the more distorted the wilds become. Nerves of vines pulsate as the first trees appear, sickly and grey and weaving within each other. They tower over you, blocking the red skies with their canopy of branches. Bugs larger than you skitter up and down the chafing trunks. Eyes begin to watch you, some curious, some malicious, and others still apathetically.

The Nest The first set of buildings appear, shaped like cages and whittled out of silver branches. They fractal, everything bleeding out into lines and lines of houses and branches. It's incredibly easy to get lost here, as the beginning looks exactly the same as the end. The wildlife here seems to appear... calmer. Several types of docile animals appear, as well as a wider variety of plant life. But don't let your guard down. The threat here isn't the flora or fauna, it's the legion of Fae that live here. Avoid them at all costs. They don't take too kindly to visitors.

The Calamity Point At the epicenter of it all is Wilted Lily Cookie's "kingdom," If it can even be called that. A few vanilla orchids can be seen scattered near the ground alongside other shrubs. Jagged sets of silver branches reach down into the floor, making up each spire's walls and rooms. Webs of white moss line the windows in numerous patterns. Lilies grow from the dirt floor and clear water flows throughout the kingdom.

At the center of it all is The Heart, made up of every vine in the forest. It hangs over the center of the room, pulsating and beating life into this cursed realm. Mucus seeps out and drips onto the floor, birthing many abominations that terrorize the land. Many Fae tend to it, patiently awaiting the reawakening of The Calamity herself. If you look closely, you can see the faint silhouette of Wilted Lily Cookie within.

BACKSTORY

The Death of the Silver Guardian

As the herald of Solidarity, Wilted Lily Cookie acted as the Faerie King's most trusted advisor and as a guide for lost and wandering cookies. Perhaps her most notable job, however, was as the Witches' Apprentice. When she first was created, Lily herself sought to study under her creators and learn their ways. In return, she would benefit all of cookie-kind with her newfound knowledge and skill. Of course, working so closely with the creators meant Wilted Lily was restricted with what she could share and do. Under their careful watch, she would never become a ruler, and she could never venture outside of their watchful eye.

But rules were meant to be broken, and Lily often traveled beyond her creator's boundaries despite their warnings. Until one fateful day. She had made her usual rounds outside of her range, researching the creatures and wildlife that thrived there, when she was ambushed by wild witches, savage and cruel. Unlike the benevolent witches, these hags cared not for her life; the only thing that they valued was how she tasted. With her power, she managed to escape within an inch of her life and ran back to her creators. The witches, benevolent and kind, forgave her for going beyond their sight, and reassured Lily that as long as they lived they would never let harm befall their beloved cookies.

For the time, this was enough to satisfy Wilted Lily Cookie. True to their word, she never saw those wild witches again. But doubt isn't rational, and it began to creep into her heart like a thorny vine. Had they really stopped those awful savages? What if her creators, blessed they be, also ate cookies? The lunatics at the edge of the world were still witches, weren't they, surely they wouldn't be so easily stopped, right? And if they couldn't, then was she actually learning anything of use? What if they were lying to her?

What if they lied about everything?

"...could I trust them? Should I trust them?"

This seed of doubt overtook her mind, and she paused her apprenticeship. Her fears manifested into plotting all sorts of schemes and defenses for the worst case scenario. To help prepare the world, Lily broke her silence about the incident to some of her followers and noted the... very unique reactions to her plight. She had tried to tell her friends, the other guardians, but by now many of them had become unreachable. The only two willing to listen were her lover and a haunted wraith, and even then they could only do so much. Times were getting worse. More and more cookies came fleeing from the other realms. Attacks on the Faerie Kingdom became more frequent, and armies counting up to the thousands came like floods. Wilted Lily did the best that she could, but it wasn't enough. Where were the witches? Why weren't they helping them? Discouraged and frustrated, she came to the rational conclusion that this problem was something only she could handle. After all, she knew the witches better than anyone.

One fateful day, she went to confront them herself. A single cookie against the world, armed against the only gods she ever knew. She demanded answers. She demanded to know why they weren't acting. Their answers felt hollow, scared even. Wilted Lily could've never imagined they'd look so helpless. How disgraceful. Lily steeled her nerves, glaring with disdain before rushing to attack them. Even with the power of her soul jam, she knew this would be no easy feat. But she never expected to lose this quickly.

She felt her body quickly being cast down, feeling cracks run along her back. She couldn't move. The pain seared through her dough like none before and none ever would. She blinked a few times, seeing the deep regret the witches had on their faces. A bitter laugh echoed from her aching body. Everything blurred. One second she was on the ground, the next in her lover's embrace. Lily dove in and out of consciousness before finally stabilizing in Pure Vanilla's kingdom, accompanied by him and other healers working to help her.

The days melted into each other. Her recovery was swift, but nothing could heal the wounds carved into her heart. When she finally returned home, Pure Vanilla asked if he could stay by her for a bit longer. She didn't remember what she told him, not like it would matter. Wilted Lily forced him out, ignoring the thumps against the thorn wall and drowned out his pleas with her sorrow. One day, he would understand. But she couldn't afford any distractions. She was going to get her vengeance. Even if it meant becoming the very thing she swore to fight against.

~~~~~~~~

#exchangedfatesau #white lily cookie #cookie run kingdom #crk au #cookie run au #uGH FINALLY #last week has been a nightmare but i got this out #also unrelated but i just noticed lily's horns remind me of those medieval hats #those weirdly shaped ones women used to wear in the medieval ages #search those up they're very fun to play around with

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nezoriy · 3 days ago

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Trans people in Ukraine: transition process, legislations, healthcare, and social attitudes

Kyiv, 2024. A protest for adopting bill #5488 that defines hate crimes and introduces harsher punishments for them. The author stands second to the left. Photo source

Whether it’s Ukraine, Palestine, or other “third world” countries, the issue of queer rights is often used even by the relatively well-meaning liberals to claim: “We shouldn’t help them, look how badly they treat their queers!”

Of course, the ethical argument against it would be that no one deserves genocide and not that “the situation is not that bad.” But anyone who has argued online at least once knows that’s not how it works. So the argument I'm here to make is:

Trans rights and lives in Ukraine are not that bad.

I’m a trans man living in Kyiv. I’m currently medically and legally transitioning, I have a lot of trans/nb friends and try to involve myself in activism. So I have both first-hand experience and up-to-date info to talk about the issue.

Let me be very clear here: things are not perfect.

We still don’t have a lot of legal protections we need. The human factor and community networks matter a lot. But it’s not the “leave the country if you’re trans” levels of bad, and haven’t been for a while.

Compared to some Western European countries with rights for self-id and third gender markers, Ukraine is obviously not that progressive.

However, after learning more about the UK’s trans issues, as well as the various US states’ anti-trans legislations, I was compelled to write this text because I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart: “Shut the fuck up” to everyone who wants to say something about how backward Ukraine is.

In Ukraine, trans and other queer people can live their lives relatively freely. And what’s even more important: in contrast to a lot of “developed” countries, the situation with trans rights and social acceptance is actually improving.

(Am I afraid that our society and legislators will slide backward with the influence tr*mp will have over the whole world? Yes. But that’s another issue entirely. And historically, even during his first term, our laws actually improved.)

So, if you ever find yourself arguing about Ukraine, here is everything you need to know to also politely ask everyone bemoaning “poor” Ukrainian queers’ fates to shut up.

In the first part, I talk about general vibes, and in the second one, I go into the transition process in way more depth than was necessary. This monstrosity absolutely got out of hand, if I’m honest. Maybe I need to try to shoot a YouTube video so people can use it as background noise.

Read on Medium or keep reading here.

In any case, enjoy!

How do trans people in Ukraine live? Laws, attitudes, and vibes

Kyiv, 2024. A protest for adopting bill #5488. The author stands second to the right. The poster says “Stop violence against transgender people. Adopt 5488.” Photo source

So, you’re transitioning. What life in Ukraine has in store for you?

Ukrainian trans legislations

There’s a clear legal procedure that allows Ukrainian trans people to change their gender marker and all of their legal documents.

In Ukraine, there are some laws to protect against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

There are also laws prohibiting hate speech/discrimination in the media. They don't protect from misgendering, insensitive jokes, and stereotyping. But show me a country where they do.

There are no laws prohibiting trans people from using the right bathrooms.

Unfortunately, you can only transition medically and legally once you turn 18. Minors can get a psychiatric diagnosis (but not F64.0) but they don't have access to puberty blockers.

There are still quite a lot of hate crimes. Police are often not investigating them properly. They get classified as “hooliganism” instead of a hate crime. The good news: more people are reporting them, and NGOs are actively working on these cases. Bad news: the bill to define hate crimes specifically and introduce harsher repercussions for them has been lying in the parliament for more than 2 years. Activists are actively advocating for adopting this bill. In general, there’s an understanding that it might be done in the coming years.

Same-sex marriage is not legal. However, there's a bill to introduce civic partnerships. And there is an explicit understanding in society that queer people will benefit from it the most. Unfortunately, it's also been lying in the parliament for 2+ years. Activists work hard to change that. The main detractor is the council of the churches.

There's some gray legal area around the issues but there's a common understanding that trans people are not allowed to adopt children. They also can't retain custody over their under-18 children if they change their documents.

Society at large

The author presents his painting “A time to plant and a time to uproot” about his experience of transitioning during the full-scale invasion during the Ljubljana Pride events in 2023.

According to recent polls, social attitudes toward LGBT+ people are improving by the year. In 2023 a poll showed that 64% (info in Ukrainian, use Google Translate) of people expressed neutral or positive attitudes towards queer people (compared to 54% in 2022). The number of people who have negative attitudes towards LGBT+ was 33,9%. Contrast this with 60,4% in 2016.

For some trans people, it's hard to find work if their documents do not match their looks. When it comes to hiring practices, the anti-discriminatory laws often don't work because obviously a business can refuse to employ you citing other reasons. However, all of this depends highly on the industry and specific employers. For example, most Ukrainian IT companies are okay with gender-nonconforming and trans people. They, along with NGOs, often have anti-discriminatory company policies. It’s harder to get employed when it comes to customer service jobs. However, I’ve heard positive personal anecdotes there as well. In general, the situation is improving compared to even 5-10 years ago, but there's still room for growth.

The major public force that opposes queer rights, and one with the most influence, is the Council of churches (which includes most major denominations that exist in Ukraine.)

In general, in mainstream liberal circles, it's no longer acceptable to be openly transphobic or homophobic. For example, a lot of large bloggers, who consider themselves nationalists (which used to be synonymous with anti-queerness) are publicly supporting queer rights as a marker of a civilized society and progress regardless of their personal beliefs.

Increasingly more mainstream liberal media is trying to give positive coverage to the queer community, from using the right lexicon to shooting special materials dedicated to queer and trans issues. Still, it’s also quite common even for some of the well-meaning media outlets, and especially bloggers to misgender trans people, use clickbait headings, and so on. The vast majority of media were incredibly confused regarding the right pronouns when covering Nemo’s Eurovision victory.

3rd Forum for Transgender and Nonbinary People, Kyiv, 2024. The slogan reads “TRANS*forming the reality.” The author stands to the right.

Increasingly more queer books are getting published, including those by Ukrainian authors.

There are right-wing organizations that specifically target queer people, harass them online, even attack physically, and threaten queer events. Just yesterday (November 9th, 2024) a bookshop canceled a presentation of two Ukrainian LGBT+ books because they were threatened. However, by year right-wing organizations with explicitly queerphobic agenda are becoming more and more inconsequential in mainstream society. There's an understanding that most of these groups, although claiming to be ethno-nationalists, are actually funded by russians, and they look up to russian "traditional values" as opposed to the "decadent" West even to the detriment of our victory.

TERFs are also not mainstream and don't have any actual political sway. They’re only loud on X and Facebook but they don't have their own organizations and most mainstream feminist NGOs are explicitly queer- and trans-friendly.

Ukrainian queer community

There are a lot of LGBT+ and trans NGOs that promote queer rights, advocate for the community, collaborate with the legislators, and help out the community (including materially).

There are a number of publicly open trans and nonbinary activists.

The hormones are quite costly and there's no way to get them free from the country. However, the NGOs are often offering hormones as humanitarian help for free. Most of the time, I myself get hormones this way.

All in all, since 2010 (and especially 2016) the number of trans organizations grew and their work has become more influential.

Military

Ukrainian LGBT Military NGO. On their website, they state they have a separate online community for 15+ trans people who are currently serving in the military or are veterans.

There are no legal protections or mechanisms to regulate the relationships of trans people with the military. That's also a huge zone for growth the activists are working on.

The state also doesn't provide people in the army with hormones.

There's an NGO for the LGBT military.

There are open trans people in the army. But most trans men I heard of are in stealth.

LGBT+ people, even the open ones, may face some discrimination in the army from their comrades and officers. However, the mainstream idea communicated by lots of military people is “I might not personally like queers but I don't care who you are as long as you're busting your ass for the victory.”

When going through the TCRSS (Territorial Center of Recruitment and Social Support, local military administration) evaluation, except for the good old regular transmisogyny, transfems may face additional scrutiny and negative attitudes from medical professionals and officials because they may be seen as “draft dodgers.”

A personal note: I'm in the process of changing the documents so I haven't communicated with TCRSS yet. I won't dwell upon it but I have to say for the record that I'm absolutely willing to accept not only rights but also responsibilities that come with an “M” gender marker in documents. So, if I'm considered to be fit for the military, I won't try to avoid it. Moreover, my consciousness dictates that I do have to serve. Still, the process of going through the military medical board scares me a lot – way more than the military service itself.

A bit of history: the transition until 2016

The author’s art.

Until 2016, the transition process was frankly all kinds of fucked-up.

To get access to legal recognition and healthcare, a person had to go through a doctor's board evaluation. The doctors (including psychiatrists and sexologists) were predominantly educated in the Soviet Union where all kinds of queer people were considered deviants with psychiatric disorders (and often, in the case of gay men, criminalized.) So, the board was incredibly transphobic and homophobic. It used a questionnaire full of questions relying on the worst kinds of gender stereotypes: “Would you rather be a plumber or an artist? If you were a journalist would you write about sports or art?”

If you didn't look like a very stereotypical version of the gender you're transitioning to, down to the underwear, you were fucked.

If you let them know you're not straight, you were fucked.

And there was only one board for the whole country, in Kyiv, so if you haven't "passed" the assessment the first time, it was way harder to get reevaluated.

Even if you got the psychiatric diagnosis and got access to healthcare, to be able to change your gender marker and documents, you had to get sterilized.

I personally know some people who didn't want to go through this shit so they went on HRT and instead of changing the gender marker just changed their name and surname in their documents (we are allowed to do that for non-trans reasons without any issues.) This way, at least when they are signing documents and so on, they won't see their deadname constantly. They also kinda hoped that people checking their documents would just skip over the gender marker or think it's some kind of mistake.

Side note: both a sad and funny aspect is that you can change your name and surname just because you want to, but you can't change your patronym or drop it altogether. And it's always, always gendered, so if you went this way, from Olexandra Olexandrivna Ivanova you'd become an Olexandr Olexandrivna Ivanov (-ivna being female suffix, the male version would be -ovich.

Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of activists, the legislation around the transition changed, becoming way, way more relaxed. It's been in place since.

Legal and medical transition in Ukraine

Kyiv, 2024. Author at a protest for adopting bill #5488. The hashtags read “human rights,” “inclusivity,” “equality,” “safety.” Photo source.

After some confusion in 2016 around the procedures, they’ve become quite established. I started the medical transition in 2023 and legal – in August of 2024, so the info is as up-to-date as it can be.

#1. Getting a psychiatric diagnosis of “transsexualism”

If you go about your transition the proper way, the first thing you need to do is get a psychiatric diagnosis. Ukraine's healthcare system is still working with ICD-10. The country is committed formally to moving to ICD-11 but there’s a common understanding it’s really unlikely to happen until the war ends.

Under ICD-10, the diagnosis you need to get is F64.0 “transsexualism”. Yeah, yikes.

You need to go to a state psychiatrist, the diagnoses from the private ones are not valid.

De jure, you should either keep in touch with a doctor to be observed for 2 years or spend 2 weeks in a hospital. Most of the time, it's understood to be a day hospital, so you visit every day but don't sleep there. But it’s up to the doctors, so there were cases when a person spent the whole time in a psychiatric hospital. Obviously, the person is kept in the ward of the gender they were assigned at birth. You can imagine that for a lot of peopl,e the experience is quite distressing, especially considering that Ukrainian state psychiatric clinics are really not fun places to be in.

Considering this, a lot of people look for workarounds – and find them.

In some hospitals, you can pay a "voluntary contribution" (a bribe basically). The price tag for this in Kyiv’s main psychiatric hospital is around UAH10.000 ($250).

In some hospitals, fortunately, there are friendly doctors (and/or doctors who themselves belong to the queer community) who can help you out willingly.

In any case, if you can get arrangements in place, you just visit a couple of times and the hospital puts the necessary dates on the documents without actually keeping you there.

How do you get evaluated for F64.0

In a psych hospital, you get the bloodwork and some other physical examinations done (for example, a cardiogram, a lung x-ray, nothing invasive.)

You talk to a psychologist who assesses your general mental state.

And you talk to a psychiatrist and write an auto-biography focusing on your transness specifically.

The evaluation is still often based on strict gender binary and gender stereotypes. It is implicitly understood within the trans community that for example as a trans man you have to present the narrative that you always played with cars and not dolls, preferred the color blue, befriended only the boys etc, etc. Friendly psychiatrists know that this is bullshit but often still ask to narrate your story like this in case some of the higher-ups have any questions.

Correspondingly, even if psychiatrists are aware of the nonbinary spectrum, nonbinary people still have to present a very binary narrative to get the diagnosis.

Being non-straight does no longer automatically mean you don't get the right diagnosis. However, a lot of people still prefer to hide it if possible. I told my psychiatrist I'm bi with a preference for women (which is true) and had no problems because of that.

It is implicitly understood that if you're already on HRT (DYI, found a very friendly private endocrinologist, etc), the whole process is likely to go easier for you. That was my experience: I just emphasized that I've already been on HRT for half a year and so much happier for it.

When getting a diagnosis gets more complicated

Because of the war transfem people now come under more scrutiny and the evaluation has become way more strict than before 2022. Some doctors plainly refuse to do it at all. The reason is that the doctors are afraid that people trying to go through an mtf transition just try to avoid the mobilization.

There are cases, especially in the regions, of doctors refusing to deal with our trans shit. But legally doctors are not allowed to refuse to provide trans healthcare. So if you know your rights you can either press them or file a complaint. In any case, you can just go to the next state hospital and try your luck there.

A lot of psychiatrists refuse to give you F64.0 if you are currently depressed or especially have some more serious psychiatric diagnosis. A lot of them go like "well, go treat your depression and then come back." Obviously, it's absolutely bullshit because a lot of trans people are depressed because of gender dysphoria but it is what it is. Most trans people advise their peers not to disclose their other diagnosis when undergoing this evaluation.

This part is often the most hard and stressful. If you have your diagnosis, the rest is usually easier. Well, mostly.

#2. Endocrinologist, HRT, and the certificate of transing your gender enough

The author after 2 years on HRT.

Once you have your F64.0, you go to an endocrinologist. For HRT, private ones are okay. They make you do a lot of bloodwork and then prescribe HRT.

Most of the time, trans people go to the doctors that other trans people recommend. There's an understanding that there's a high chance a random state doctor won't be educated enough in trans healthcare. Because of this, I haven't heard of cases of mistreatment or refusal to work with a trans patient.

When you're on HRT for some time, you get a medical document from your endo that you've been on hormones for long enough and your secondary sex characteristics are now aligned with your desired gender.

#3. “Sex correction” certificate from a family doctor

With the document from the endo, you go to your family doctor (a GP). They get you a medical document that states you have "corrected your sex". Except for the family doctor, it should have the signature of one other doctor and the head doctor of their hospital.

Most of the time it's just a formality. Legally, family doctors can't not do it. So, if they are refusing to help you, you can file a complaint and pressure them legally.

In my case, I signed a contract with a family doctor who's explicitly queer-friendly and has already helped quite a lot of trans people. I needed to go to her hospital (in Lviv) to be physically present, but everything went quickly. There were no additional examinations or assessments, no questions asked, we just needed to sit in a queue for a bit and the head doctor signed my documents.

#4. Birth certificate change

To change your gender marker, you first go to a civil registration office, and with the documents from the psychiatrist and the family doctor, you file a request to make changes to your birth certificate.

There are cases when the officials try to refuse to do so, quite often out of ignorance. The officials are not legally allowed to refuse to file a gender marker change request if your documents are in order. So, once again, you can file a complaint and pressure them into registering your request.

There are also cases, however, when the document from the family doctor is not done 100% right according to the regulations (most of the time because the doctor didn't know how to do it right, not out of maliciousness), and the officials refuse you because of it. In this case, they are legally right, so most of the time you have to ask the doctor to reissue the certificate.

Because of the war, you can go to any registration office in Ukraine, and they request the info from the registration office where your birth certificate was issued. The downside is, they legally have 3 months to do so.

Side note: I'm at this point now. The registration office made a request to the hospital that issued me the "sex correction" certificate to confirm it, and they haven't gotten a response yet although it's been more than 2 months. This request is not necessary but also not illegal. If my birth certificate is not ready in 3 weeks, I'm likely going to contact the paralegals from a queer NGO and file a complaint.

#5. Changing the national ID and other documents

The sign reads “to the European country – progressive laws.” Photo source.

With your new birth certificate, you go to a center for providing administrative services (just as well, during the war any is okay, not just in the neighborhood you're registered in) to change your national ID. I was shocked to learn that in some countries, including the UK, national IDs are not mandatory. In Ukraine, they are, and they are a primary document you use for identification. Basically, no one ever sees your birth certificate. It takes about 2 weeks. Then you can change the rest of the documents: passport, driver's license, tax documents, educational documents (if you want to), and so on.

#6. Registering with the military office

Regardless of the "direction" of your transition, after changing your ID, you're supposed to go to the Territorial Center of Recruitment and Social Support (TCRSS) – the local military registration organ. That’s where things get tricky once again.

For context: all people with a “Male” gender marker are registered with a TCRSS when they are teenagers. People with “Female” markers are not. They are only registered if they become bound for military service for other reasons (for example, doctors.)

Under the military time law, all people who have an "M" marker have to be assigned to a TCRSS, and have their personal information updated in person or in a special app ("Reserve+"), and go through a medical board’s assessment in a TCRSS. The whole process is quite complicated even for cis men as on the one hand it is highly bureaucratized. There are literally cases when a trans man who had his uterus removed had to go through and have the certificate to confirm it still has to go through an assessment by a state gynecologist to prove he hasn't somehow grown his uterus back in the meantime. And on the other hand, there’s a lot of gray legal areas where decisions depend on the individual official’s assessment.

The main decision dependent on the human factor is: whether a person is considered fit for military service (then they get mobilized effectively immediately), "unfit for military service," or "fit in a limited capacity.” Before the full-scale invasion, “limitedly fit” was equal to "unfit." Now it usually means you either have a temporary delay of mobilization and you have to show up every 6 months to prolong it, or you're mobilized and get assigned to a second-line position pushing the documents instead of being on the front lines.

Most psychiatric diagnosis, including F64.0, is a reason to consider a person either "unfit for military service" or "fit in a limited capacity." So, what does it mean for trans people?

Transfems who changed their gender marker to an "F" have to show up to a TCRSS and get themselves excluded from the military register because now they’re not bound for military service.

Transmasc people with an “M” marker, as it follows logically, have to show up to get registered. They go through a military medical board like cis men.

Most of the time, transmascs are considered permanently "unfit for military service." However, this decision is up to the TCRSS’s head officer.

Communication with the TCRSS is honestly a huge issue trans activists are working on. People transitioning in both directions often face a lot of misunderstanding and outright hostility from the military medical board and officers.

Most trans women want to get excluded from military service and face discriminatory attitudes basically because the state doesn't want to exclude them, and a lot of officials think they are just transitioning to avoid military service. So they can face a lot of hate and contempt.

A lot of trans men on the other hand may be willing to serve in the military but can't do so because of the psychiatric diagnosis. There’s a conundrum because often trans men willing to serve don’t get to, and those unwilling to serve get told “well, you’re a man now so fuck off to the front lines because you’re disposable.”

As I’ve already mentioned, it all comes down to the human factor, and unfortunately in a lot of cases, people working in TCRSS are uneducated and bigoted. And because there are no specific legislations regulating the relationships between trans people and the military, the officials get to exercise their bigotry.

Crossing the border

Besides not getting mobilized while walking down the street, getting your documents right with the TCRSS is important because it defines whether or not you can leave the country.

Transfem people with an "F" gender marker who get the documents done and are excluded from military service can travel outside Ukraine. There are unfortunately quite a lot of cases of trans women having trouble crossing the border if their documents are not crystal right. Recently there was a case of a trans woman who wasn't allowed to cross the border: despite having an "F" in her passport, she skipped the TCRSS step, so officially she still was bound for military service. Unfortunately, the border guards were legally right.

Quite often the border guards are putting under a lot of scrutiny even those trans people who are legally allowed to cross the border (transfems and transmasc with an “F” marker.) That's also an issue activists work hard on.

#7. Gender-affirming surgeries in Ukraine

The author’s art. On Instagram

People are allowed to get gender-affirming surgeries and are not required to get any to change their gender marker.

The context you need to have about Ukrainian medicine: we have free state medicine; insurances exist (but they are not really widespread. Some companies, especially in IT, pay for them, but according to 2019 data only about 9% of the people have them); and there are also lots and lots of private clinics. Those are often quite costly. But they are also well-staffed and well-equipped, and in most cases, you can get an appointment with a doctor for the next day or within a week.

So, gender-affirming surgeries are available, but almost exceptionally at private clinics. This means people have to save up quite a lot and often travel to Kyiv or other large cities to get them. But there are no waitlists and patients can get good healthcare without facing any discrimination.

There are however cases of trans people getting free healthcare at a state clinic. Mostly that happens when the doctors are willing to help them out. In the documentation, they state a diagnosis that qualifies for free healthcare (any trans-related diagnoses are not.) For example, one trans man I know got free top surgery at an institute for cancer research, presumably because in the documents the doctors claimed he was at a high risk of breast cancer. Another trans man got a free hysterectomy at a state hospital. Although he was put in a women's wing he claimed he got treated well.

I got a mastectomy at a private clinic just over a month ago. For that, I had to provide the F64.0 diagnosis and the "sex correction" certificate from my family doctor. Another doctor I consulted with only does the surgery if you've already changed your ID.

The price both doctors asked was UAH75.000 (about USD 1850). (For reference: the median salary in Kyiv is UAH 25.000 (USD625) a month.) My surgeon claimed that in part the price is so high because she has to rent a surgical room only in private hospitals as the state ones don't want to deal with this kind of surgery.

From the initial consultation till the surgery, it took about 2 months and it was mostly because I was gathering the funds.

At a recent trans event for activists, I got the information that there's a group of doctors in Kharkiv that do bottom surgeries for both trans men and women and they are quite good at it. I haven't looked into it more properly yet but still – good for us.

TL;DR

Trans people do face discrimination. There are no opportunities for legal and medical transition for minors. And there are some legal gray areas, especially concerning military service, when the lack of explicit anti-discriminatory laws and proper regulations leads to bigotry from officials.

But the legislation around trans rights is improving, not getting worse, and there are procedures for legal and medical transition.

Social attitudes are also improving steadily – the acceptance of queer people in society grew almost twice since 2016, and more than half of Ukrainian society is neutral or positive towards the LGBT+ community.

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