#no idk why i want it so bad it’s just a thing i’ve put into my brain for some reason
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literally everyone: i hope robotnik and stone kiss in sonic 3
me, crying, crossing my fingers, praying to god himself: I WANNA SEE THEM DANCE TOGETHER, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
#now that im thinking abt it i can’t possibly think of a reason for them to do this#the way the movies looking#….contextless end credit scene? please please please??? for me???#please. please. please. crying crying crying#stobotnik dance agenda#if not this let them fight together ………. or something#to me them either having a dance scene or a scene where they fight together#the idea alone drives me insane#doesn’t just ‘satiate me’#it THRILLS me#but it might just be the aro in me talking idk#bro i’m crying rn looked at my acc realized i’ve been manifesting this since fucking . 2022#and now that i’m thinking abt it? it’s definitely not gonna happen#no idk why i want it so bad it’s just a thing i’ve put into my brain for some reason#i’m already coping hard like… ok but if they make a FOURTH sonic movie-
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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a new attempt at me trying to sketch out ideas for my porcelain (faerie) royalty outfit that I’m putting together, all I have so far is the shirt, earring (it’s not even finished) and bracelet
#whimsy whispers#I want to thrift as many of the things I’ll be wearing as I cann#or make them myself#I’m trying to make my jewelry I made the bracelet and earring and will make a necklace#idk if I’d make the tiara but I can’t thrift that either cause any big tiara you see at a thrift or antique store is gonna be expensive#so that would probs require a trip to claires#I like rococo shoes a lot but those are expensive and I found a pair of shoes that was really cute and had those vibes but was a size six#which I am not#I need to figure out a skirt/dress sitch as well#I also want elbow length gloves like I did see a pair recently but I didn’t like them idk if I’ll regret having not bought them later or not#rhis is all for fun but also if my roommates and i can put together outfits in time and like are able to then we’d go to a renaissance#festival which I’ve never been to lex has though but had a bad time#idk it’s fun to put together outfits also which is why I’m doing this#I may be going to the local goodwill again this week so we’ll see if there’s anything new since I went last week#I know there’s other thrift stores in town or where I live at but I’ve not been to them or they’re simply not on the way to where else we’ll#be going so it’s like ah there’s no use in thinking about it#just hoping I’ll find at least one good thing
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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All I’m saying is that it’s tragic how very intelligent students are forced to drop out and made feel stupid because some professors feel the need to make their courses so intense that one needs to study 50-60 hours a week, while they just need rest to function, but would have no problem understanding the material if they just had to study 40 hours a week, the actual fucking guidelines for what full-time studies should be.
#I remember when I had a bad cold the week we had FOUR LABS#AND THREE OF THEM WERE SIX HOURS LONG#I think I ruined my liver with all the paracetamol I took#I stood there like a zombie and watched things drip for four-five hours a day and barely saw sunlight for a whole week#I get that’s it kind of inevitable that e.g. chemical engineering will be more difficult than economics#but why is especially stem like that???#I’ve seen people in classrooms of the physics/engineering building at 6pm on a Saturday#although this partially applies to me#I’m mostly thinking of other people and I’m not calling myself super intelligent#humans just need rest#maybe in particular neurodivergent people#my mom (who is an epidemiologist (she doesn’t work with Covid)) has told me that so much study time is to be expected#and with everything else going on in my life#I just don’t know if I want to put myself through it#maybe if becoming a biologist was my dream I would do it#but now??? idk
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Day 655
Unlike the mod of this blog arjuna finishes things in a concise fashion, so he’s done well today
#hasarjunadoneanythingwrong#my post#started ANOTHER fucking comic late at night instead of finishing something#anyway. I’m not making a sep post 4 this bc k don’t want to add to the complaining but#at this point in time I’ve seen more people complaining abt ppl complaining abt the npcs than actual complaints#like. I think they’re just making shit up now bc they’re mad ppl didn’t just gratefully eat their scraps#I’m now hearing that the guda6 ssr artist was HARRASSED over it which while possible#why am I only hearing about this now?????? and not then???#it fr feels like they want to ruin it for anyone who’s actually happy#I think some of it is ppl don’t realize it wasn’t just eng ppl complaining but idk#and they don’t notice that the jp players also complain a lot bc it’s in another language/on dif sites#so they always try to turn it into some ‘damn sjw na fem player’ but that’s not really…accurate?#and frustrating too bc at the time of the npc thing there were only 3 guys released like yeah actually putting 3 sexy npcs out at once was#gonna piss people off if it could’ve doubled it for that demographic#and idk. it definitely feels like it’s pushback for the fact that people were actually angry on both sides of the fanbase that now#I keep seeing these damn posts complaining about ppl complaining#like if it bothers you so much just block them??????#it really wasn’t an unreasonable response though#and yeah I’m not pro harassing artists but I do find it convenient it wasn’t mentioned until now#if it is true-it’s bad but that isn’t the fault of the majority of the people who were frustrated?#def not on par w like the. parv thing for example#like maybe fans in this fanbase just get bitchy sometimes idk#anyway I needed to vent this to release bile I just didn’t want it obvious srry to bother <3#I’m just sick of it like damn can we not just enjoy the new servant. the npc thing really wasn’t that bad why are you still mad
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.
#having a Bad Day#one of my bosses was talking to me about classes i should take next year#and gave some helpful ideas about taking trial advocacy and pretrial lit#which. i do plan on taking the latter sometime next year#but both of those classes would severely mess up my entire course schedule and probably wouldn’t allow me to work twice a week at the firm#but i ofc don’t say that i just nod and agree and say thank you. they don’t need to know what classes i’m taking#and then my head boss talks to me after and says they are suggesting these courses bc my analysis writing has gotten worse since i started#and that he noticed i don’t have a ‘passion’ for this work#so . great. now i feel god awful. not about what they think about me but more about whether or not i’ll be able to keep a job here#and like normally i would not care but. i NEED this job i NEED the money#i pay for my mom’s mortgage and i have loans to pay off + just! normal general things to buy! and GAS!#without this job i’d have $240 a month roughly from my other job which is next to nothing#idk what i’m doing wrong. this job is such a ‘trial by fire’ and i’m sooo intimidated by my bosses#and i’m cheery and i don’t complain and i listen and i smile and i work quickly#and sure i make mistakes but i try! i swear!#if i don’t have this job past the summer idk what i’m going to do i’ll be so fucked#putting all of my eggs in this one basket. already committed to this summer but if they don’t want to hire me after graduation#i will be jobless. i have no network. i spend all of my time working or at home bc i live with two disabled people an hour+ away from campus#and i don’t have the time or energy to do anything else#i’ve dealt with soooo much worse in my life idk why i’m freaking out so much rn#i would give anything to call my grandpa rn for some advice but .#…. haha anyways . great weather we’re having
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this is exactly what i moved here for and it’s a good thing like 98% of the time but oh my god i’m literally all alone in this city……….
#my manager was talking about how he and his bestie and their friend are going to their friend’s in laws’ for eid tonight#and my manager was saying that that friend of theirs doesnt have any family in this city (and tbf idt my manager does either??) and so him a#and his bestie are always there for whenever he needs them#and idk it just hit me how enormously alone i am here#i’m not even religious so idk why eid was the thing like of all the times ppl have mentioned their friends#i need to get out of bed and do my laundry and i have a msg from my dad i havent opened so i shld reply to thaf#esp if i’m feeling like this but idk. it’s the first time i’ve rly felt like . struck by it in a way that has been bad#like i’ve missed people and i’ve been struck by the fact that i’m alone#but never in a negative way or a like . idk . oh i wish i had people way#but idk maybe i do wish that a little bit rn………..#i think . idk i think a lot of things and it’s not the time for self analysis on tumblr#being in a place where i am alone was and is important to me rn and i think good for me#but i don’t have anyone in this city who i can put down as my emergency contact for anything and so it’s still my mum even for things she#doesn’t know i’m doing#and that’s very very weird#idk why i’m so emosh i’ll probably see my family at the end of this month for this family event and i’ll want 2 be free of them all#IDK MAN ITS JUST A LOT!!!! idw do my laundry
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My mom was just like ahhh Im anxious to go out of my comfort zone and I was like you’re good how is this out of your comfort zone you’ve done this before and she was like why do you always judge my feelings and say I’m not allowed to feel that way I should feel some other way and I’m sitting here like :| as if she hasn’t done that to my my entire life and as if I didn’t mean you’ve done this before as a you got this sentiment not get over urself
#literally she said that and I just put my headphones on and went into my room bc if I had stayed out there I would’ve said ‘like you’ve done#to me my entire life’ and she would’ve had a shitty night and yelled and/or cried at me and I would’ve felt bad#so I just put my headphones on and walked away and it’s just like god how can she be so fucking unaware#like I got these fucking habits from somewhere like you think maybe growing up depressed and suicidal in a family that didn’t talk about or#publicly feel their emotions made it difficult for me to express things and you think maybe you making me feel bad constantly because of my#depression and on top of my depression might have transferred into me saying things that hurt you and not meaning it#but I can’t say any of this becusse obviously she didn’t mean it at the time she didn’t know how to deal with me but fuck man it just fucks#me up cause i don’t want to be constantly trying to get pay back against my mother or whatever but I also feel like she’s constantly trying#to say shit to me about her going on dates or whatever when I have repeatedly told her I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t like when#she jokes about it and I tell her to like get a hobby other than men and like I’m joking but I’m fucking not#like she spends all her time out with guys or talking about guys or texting guys while we’re supposed to be hanging out and I have both#never felt more isolated and alienated from my family and have never felt this weirdly connected to my family#like I feel like how my mother felt when I was doing stupid shit and she didn’t want to say anything and when she did I’d be an asshole but#she’d be right and idk it’s just like how do I stay mad at my mother while doing the same things she did to me then#but how do I stop doing them if I can’t address why I’m doing it and how do I address it if I feel like I need to tell her#but I’ve told her and it doesn’t help it only makes her feel bad#how do I let myself feel my emotions. how has everyone else been doing it this whole time and it’s fucking impossible for me#ugh.#fuck.#I’m gonna take one of my crying edibles and see if I can get listening to some sad music and let some tears out of my face#and then I’m gonna play Minecraft tonight with 🧍🏻 and he doesn’t know I have a pet bird yet or about my trip so that’ll be fun
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Would it be stupid of me to request time off on the day after the Eurovision final
#there’s no consequences for requesting time off; to clarify. i’m on a zero hours contract so unless i’m sick or outright ask for holiday pay#i’m just getting a day or more of unpaid time off#but still. would it be silly and frivolous#i don’t even want it in order to drink… i just want to stay up and watch the entire thing including the voting#and not have to worry about working a 9-5 the next day (because i always seem to fucking get signed up for 9-5s while everyone else gets to#do a delayed start. what is that about)#i put in the request. it’ll most likely get accepted. like i don’t see why it wouldn’t#there’s already 3 people signed up to work that day… they don’t need me#the only reason i think they’d decline it is because i have unpaid time off the following sunday; but i will HAPPILY cancel that so i can#have the 14th off instead. i requested the 21st off for a pokemon go community day but tbh i’m not even really playing pogo anymore#since they nerfed remote raids and ya girl lives in the middle of nowhere so there goes like. my only way of getting legendaries.#anyway. that happened. i’ll just leave it and if it gets rejected i’ll bring it up with my manager#and lie or something and say i had plans on the 21st but was going to move them to the 14th and would it therefore be okay for me to have#that day off instead? i feel like that would work#honestly though idk why i worry considering one of the guys in retail has weeks of time off… i’m starting to wonder why he took the job#and if he’s ever actually planning on coming back to work. i legit haven’t seen him in a month and i’m there ~4 days a week#it’s a little bit fucking wild but anyway yeah.#nothing better come between me and the eurovision or we are going to have a problem#it’s bad enough i’m going to miss some of wimbledon. i’ve worked in education most of my adult life so this too is a new concept for me#if i can catch the opening day and the finals i’ll be happy tbh#personal
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idk if it’s the mental illness but sharing literally any information feels like oversharing. i’ll be like “i skipped breakfast this morning” and immediately im like “i might as well have told them where i buried the money”
#‘’authenticity felt like putting your vulnerabilities on display’’ 💀💀💀#oof why did that last part hit so harddd#I mean yes I got teased a lot as a kid being in a big family will do that do you but#idk I never willingly share anything about myself unless specifically asked and it always shocks me when people#actually want to know about me and ask questions; and I mean in a genuinely curious ‘I like you and find you interesting in a positive way’#because there’s nothing I dislike more than a nosy person being up in my business for no good reason#idk it’s just something I’ve heard a lot in my life; ‘’you’re a mystery’’ and maybe it really is a self-preservation thing#you know i think it is; I’ve always been highly emotionally since I was a kid and I’ve had to majorly compensate for that as an adult#I’m very high in personality trait neuroticism (90th+ percentile) and maybe that really does translate authenticity into being#a dangerous display of vulnerability that can potentially be taken advantage of; explains a lot#just me live journaling in the tags 💀 ugh#it’s not as bad getting older because I’ve grown to not care what people think of me as much but it’s smthin I still struggle with I guess
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ENOUGH WITH THE REBOOTS AND SPIN OFFS ENOUGGGHHHHH
#first of all why is it always teen shows that they reboot like what for#second of all can anyone name a single reboot that was equally as good and popular as the original#only one I can think of that I would say was as good was 90210 but even that’s up for debate#but the gossip girl reboot? a train wreck from start to finish idk what they were thinking#the pll reboot had slightly more positive reception but even that came and went#compared to the crazy hype the og had. and keep in mind the og was terrible#but I could see the incentive to reboot both of these shows cause people were neither satisfied with the conclusion#of gossip girl nor pretty liars… but one tree hill? why on earth would you reboot one tree hill?#personally I find one tree hill boring but I know for most people that’s like the gold standard of tv#so why would you go and add more to something people were satisfied with#sure you get the hype but you’re also gonna be subject to so much more backlash if it doesn’t meet the originals standards#and one tree hill set the bar PRETTY FUCKING HIGH#if they wanted it to just be about another generation at tree hill high well fine I guess I mean just go and make your own show#do I see the necessity in calling it a reboot? no like just make your own show about two half siblings on a basketball team#but fine let’s call it that. however putting Peyton and Brooke in it means you’re going to basically ruin their character arcs#like there’s no way Lucas and Julian are coming back so you’re already gonna turn a lot of people away#and the elephant in the room is that most people are concerned about the Woke aspect#what I’ve seen in the past is that these reboots start off trying really hard to be politically correct to demonstrate how#it’s a different time now and things have changed#but I think they misunderstand how much modern audiences hate this? and let me make it clear I don’t have a problem with a show being h#socially aware. it’s that the way these reboots handle it is SO heavy handed and unsubtle#there’s just no nuance about it no actual depth it feels… tokenizing?? that’s not the right word#but like they just throw it in there like it’s a box to check before they forget about all of it#but not before you’ve alienated your audience#anyways this will be bad let’s enjoy!
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so like 2 days ago I finally read one of the comics I bought blind a while ago with comics that I was actually looking for.
anyway Rat Queens is just mid, if not below average. I wrote a rant/review about it but before i finished it I realised this title is just not worth it lmao
After I read it I only wanted to start reading Dungeon Meshi so I can read sth actually good tbh and maybe i’ll sit down to do it today kjhkjh
#my posts#rambling#idk why i’m putting it off for later I KNOW I WILL LIKE IT KJHDFKJBD#I’ve been spoiled a lot (that’s how I know this series is such szkicelcore) but i still wanna read it from start to finish#before i dive into anime#bc i’ve heard they’ve changed and cut some things so i wanna see the og first#Anyway if you want a short answer why I didn’t like Rat Queens#basically it suffers from this typical „adult comics” problem where everyone talks the same#and the dialogue feels so stiff and unnatural bc the author prioritizes adult jokes over substance and whether it makes#sense for the characters to actually say it or if it fits the context of the scene#basically what everyone else just calls „h//bin h/tel problem” (it’s actually handled way better than h//bin obv#but it’s still pretty bad)#Other stuff i didn’t like: artstyle is nice but faces are drawn so inconsistently that sometimes i couldn’t tell#that someone was supposed to be a character i’ve already seen#or the resolution of the main plot takes a couple of pages while the real climax is a battle related to some random troll#we’ve seen at the very start of the story (i know that’s the joke; like „haha i bet you thought this troll wasn’t gonna be relevant again”#but i would still rather have a proper resolution to the main plot…and maybe actually a better plot too you know kjhdjbd)#also they neglected my girl Dee - she was my favourite bc her design is cool; she’s an atheist paladin and mostly talks like a normal perso#the atheist-paladin thing is questionable but another character points it out so i guess they have an explanation for it#in the next tomes - but i’m not gonna buy another comic from this series so i will never find out lmao#Another thing that irks me that isn’t related to the comic itself are all the reviews at the back comparing it to LOTR of all things#„It’s like a mix of sex and the city and LOTR haha” „this is LOTR but with sexy ladies” shut up shuuuut uuuuuup#You guys know only one fantasy book series and it shows#if anything this comic is clearly inspired by DnD with all the references they make for rolling the dice etc#but only as a remark from the narrator at the end of every chapter so also not really#Anyway i need to read dungeon meshi dammit
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I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3
#it’s just gone in the oven which means at least 25 minutes and probably more like 45 bc I made a Lot#am also kiiiinda winging the recipe so my expectations are on the floor#this is. for a bake sale. pray for me#I’m gonna make the icing tonight and leave it in the fridge overnight I think for tomorrow morning#this has gone wrong at every available opportunity it was 100% not worth it#however! given the prices my friend wants to sell this at i May have turned this into like over £100 which isn’t bad#TWO CAKES. WHY AM I MAKING TWO CAKES#I’m procrastinating washing up the stuff I used to make the batter (hell) bc itssosososo messy and I just wanna shout abt stuff#primarily that I am once again so upset that I only get one more week of ice hockey before summer#there are two parts to this feeling: 1. I love ice hockey I’ve been having such a good time this past week while I’ve not had to stress#abt anything else. 2. gay. gay gay homosexual gay#like okay I’ve been worried abt whether this is an actual crush or I just convinced myself I like him bc pretty+queer#(because of course I can worry abt that). BUT yeah sorry no can confirm I like this dumb fuck this is so unfair#we talked a BUNCH last night and he’s just really cool.#ohhhh fuck I don’t think the oven was properly preheated bc I opened it for a while to fit the two tins in. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway!! he’s really fun to talk to someone help like if he does turn out to be single I could in THEORY text him over summer. maybe.#his birthday will be coming up and my friend suggested that. I’m being insane but oh my god this is torture#I ALSO watched the newest dr who episode today and that did NOT HELP. one of the first things in a while that have given me like#this same specific feeling when I get into gay romantic media. the ‘reading gay shit on wattpad at age 14 feeling’ if you will#where there’s like this weight in the pit of my stomach. it’s NICE that doesn’t sound good but it is#is this what straight people get with romance all the time. I know I just don’t watch/read much anymore but also#there’s straight romance in literally everything so.#but yeah basically I need another month of fuck around time minimum when everyone’s in this city so I can get my shit together#ALSO. I ONLY HAVE A YEAR LEFT HERE. THATS TERRIFYING. a year is a long time but it’s also not this one disappeared and this is like.#WAY too early to even consider that but he’s gonna be here probably for a year after I leave and that could suck if anything does happen.#I guess in theory I’m taking a year before phd probably so I could work here. idk man anyway that one is actually insane of me I’m just gay#boy 😔. they shouldn’t be allowed to do this#on Wednesday he’ll be done with exams and so will my other friend who knows him well. so I will be able to 1. subtly see w her if girlfriend#2. potentially. MAYBE ask what she thinks I’m just trying to decide whether that’s too much to put on her. I think I’m being insane there#luke.txt
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