#no i dont condone it at all but i feel like i can fix him

[fl0ralsxgar]

Its nai/millions knives btw guys im sorry

[luffyvace]

what BSD characters are like driving!! 🤗 (😀)

includes PM, ADA & DOA

(these are short + no gifs bc it’s a LOT of characters)

Killing/threatening warning, yk, PM stuff..

PM

Mori Ougai: (I don’t condone his behavior—they ruined what he could’ve been)

actually a decently normal driver?

occasionally pushes the red/yellow light, especially if he’s late for smth important

will you Elise to be like “please my little girl is in the car 🥺😕” if he’s gets pulled over

Only trust him to drive you around if your one of his executives…otherwise if he asks you to get in his car- DONT.

Nakahara Chuuya:

ultimate road rager

really it’s not him it’s all these grannies drivin around!! 🙄

gets a million tickets a month but has the money to pay them off

i mean, he would. If he didn’t just kill/threaten the police officers..

don’t let him see Dazai either 😭😭

will probably be like “HEY DAZAI, ITS A DREAM COME TRUE” and (try to) ram his car into him—using his ability too, as a bonus

Kōyō Ozaki:

swears/mutter under her breath about how “people are idiots” more than she actually curses people out

i feel like she only would if someone were to damage he beautiful car (she has it custom with lots of pink floral patterns, not in a childish way!- it’s very pretty 😊)

she can afford to fix it ofc but it still upsets her

that person definitely doesn’t go home that night…..

she’s very beautiful so she could probably con her way out of getting tickets “I won’t do it again officer~” immediately rolls her eyes and calls them names that will not be stated here as soon as she drives off 😆

Ryunosuke Akutagawa:

I believe he’s a decent driver as well

Only drives recklessly if he’s angry/Dazai forced him to take Atsushi with him 😃😭

definitely drives safe when his sister’s in he car 🥹💗

usually turns the music all the way down

Gin Akutagawa:

would prefer to walk or have Ryuu drive her <3

but she does know how, knows the basics but sometimes forgets what random buttons do

gets pretty shy when she’s pulled over (she was either speeding because she was late for work or just happened to be caught going during a red light) so the officers let her go with out a ticket, just a (non literal) slap on the wrist “don’t let it happen again kid”

doesn’t play any music at all

Ichiyo Higuchi:

uhh she’s either driving wildly because she’s trying to help out Akutagawa or decently but parks on curbs/hits others car often 😃😅

forgets to turn on the radio since half the time she’s in the car she’s rushing

yeah I don’t have much to say since she drives pretty okay 👍

Ryūrō Hirotsu:

prefers to walk 100%

doesn’t even know why he has a car

actually yes he does it’s because it’s an old school model he’s had forever and is proud of

so he also doesn’t drive bc he doesn’t wanna scuff it up

would be a good driver if he did tho

will be the driver for other people’s cars tho

Michirō Tachihara:

very impatient

especially since most the time he’s trying to get to work

im ngl he’s probably made his car fly to work one day since he can control metal

maybe Chuuya has done that too…..definitely.

honks the horn like crazy 😭

tries to tone it down if one of his superiors are with him tho, like Kōyō, Hirotsu or Mori

Sakunosuke Oda: (Odasaku)

only drives crazy during emergencies

Good luck to whoever is in the car with him at that moment, your getting flung all over the place- seatbelt or not 😂😂

Otherwise you can 100% trust him to drive you around :)

very responsible, turns on his turning signal, stops at even yellow lights and never gets tickets 😊💗

Ango Sakaguchi:

another reliable and responsible one!

except he’s not as bad when it comes to emergencies 😭👍

he drives fast inbetween lights when it comes that kind of thing, like if it’s 3 green lights he’s stepping on the gas, but if there’s a red he’ll speed to that very light 😭

or he’ll just keep going since he’s a officer 🤷‍♀️ I forgot abt that..OOPS

ADA

Yukichi Fukuzawa:

really good driver

stops for animals, people, red lights, yellow lights

only downside is he sometimes doesn’t notice the green light

he’s one of those where you have to be like “uhhh the light is green”

Akiko Yosano:

uhhhhhh don’t drive with her

Professional road rager

has a quicker temper with men than women but she’s still speeding past you angrily either way….

only difference is she might hope out to curse out the men if she has the time

gets like 4 tickets a month..😭

Atsushi Nakajima:

he’s getting there! 😃

would drive better if Dazai didn’t keep rushing and distracting him 🤦‍♀️

tries to drive extra safe when Kyouka’s in the car /p (I don’t ship them she’s 14)

has to drive Dazai a lot of the time, and is pretty much the go to pick up guy for Ranpo too

or anyone who needs a ride really, he’s too helpful for his own good because he knows they’re gonna drive them crazy- but helps them out anyway 😅

Doppo Kunikida:

vv good driver 🫡

ultimate best driver passed his driving test with flying colors

Dazai be driving him crazy when he’s in the car with him but it’s okay he can drive with his feet/knees 😭🤷‍♀️

plays soft music from underrated bands

Jun’ichiriō Tanizaki:

uhh Naomi bothers him way too much while he’s in the car

wouldn’t accidentally run so many red lights if it weren’t for her

doesn’t even notice it’s red until she points it out and he’s already passed the stop line

They agree to both pay for the ticket

Kenji Miyazawa:

doesn’t drive

lives walking and would rather to say hi to the citizens everyday

likes to take it slow so he gets up early to walk to work

hes used to it since he’s a farmer 😊

Kyōka Izumi:

knows the basics

will start speeding without warning if you tell her an emergency has happened

hold your horses yall 🗿

mostly let’s Atsushi drive/prefers for him to so she can stare out the window

prefers no music

Osamu Dazai:

don’t even get me started

he only drives regularly when something serious happens

Don’t be fooled he’s certainly going over the speed limit

but he’s not being loud and obnoxious for once

will sing along to songs annoyingly loud and encourages whoever’s in the car to join (only Kenji does, but nobody mind him <3)

accidentally runs a few red lights but at least he’s never ran over anyone (it’s came close….)

Ranpo Edogawa:

doesn’t drive

only hitches rides from others and by others I mean Atsushi

I mean he can he’s just too lazy to and also likes to stare out the window

Wants to be the one in control of the radio despite not being the driver “I’m the worlds greatest detective! And I deduce you should let me choose the station!”

Naomi Tanizaki:

only gets rides from Juni

i feel like she doesn’t have a license yet

she walks to school and rides home with Tanizaki after work

always bugging him while he’s driving

she’s learning to drive from him even tho she doesn’t want to do she could keep hitching rides with him

probably thinking about failing the test on purpose but she realizes she wouldn’t be able to drive him to the hospital/agency if something were to happen..

Kirako Haruno: (office clerk lady)

if something happened to Tanizaki she would be the one to drive Naomi around

just make sure she never tries to drive while drunk…

otherwise a decent driver….probably occasionally pushes yellow lights

only gets a ticket once every 6-7 months or so

DOA

Kamui:

safest driver in the lands

yk cuz criminals be the safest drivers so they don’t get pulled over

LOL /j but even if he did the officer would immediately recognize him, apologize and back off

so yeah! Not to say he’s recklessly but he can definitely get away with running red lights :P

Bram Stoker:

um…..I actually don’t know why I put him here

LOL

would obviously hitch rides untilll…ifykyk 😊

but even then driving a car would be way too complex for him to even WANT to learn to do….

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Okay now the actually criminally safe driver is him (PUN INTENDED LOL)

could probably use his intellect to get out of getting a ticket anyway

knows all the laws and has the memorized somehow and will probably outsmart the officer

doesn’t drive unless needed tho

Nikolai Gogol:

what does HE need to drive for?! 😭

bro just use your cape!

anyway he’d probably only do so if his goal required it or fun to run people over and set them free 🫡🕊️

another one who doesn��t drive

Sigma: (male alpha giga chad 🙂)

⚠️S5 DEATH/ENDING SPOILER⚠️

HELP ME I SEARCHED UP FYODOR’S NAME IN ANOTHER TAB AND I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT INSTANYLY SO WHEN I CLOSED MY KEYBOARD FYODOR D AUTOCORRECTED INTO FYODOR DIED 😭

Can I get a moment of silence for sitting here and taking the time out of my day to write all them COMPLICATED AHH NAMES⁉️🗣️

[dearest-painter]

blood is thicker than water but both feel the same when your eyes are closed

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,kidnapping,BLOOD,harm,talking to oneself,Lima syndrome,HELLA ooc Jones,I DO NOT CONDONE THIS ALL IS ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES

Everything was dark..you couldn’t see and you were scared. Your wrist were tied and you lift them to feel your eyes feeling a blindfold. To scare to even try and see if your capture was there,you just wanted your dad. What if you became one of those unsolved cases that dad talked about?,what if your captive took you out of anger to your dad and torture you?,what if they kill your dad in front of you?,or what if they kill you? ‘Creeeek..’ getting the courage to speak to the captive. “H-hello?” “Ah goody your awake darling! Dose your bed feel comfortable? I tried to make sure I got you the most FLUFFIEST bed!”

You were confused. This captive was much more nicer then the ones you’ve heard about but you then realize that your on a bed. “Y-yeah it’s comfy…can you take my blindfold off please?” “Oh no can do darling~ I can’t trust you yet. You must be hungry~ here let me feed you” it was a guy 100% because of the voice but you followed his game just to survive.

Everyone was surprised at how unhinged Jones seemed but they understand as his son was just kidnapped. “WHEN I FIND THE FUCKER I’LL BEAT HIM TO A PULP THEN WATER BOARD HIS ASS UNTIL HE DIES!” “Jones you gotta cal-“ “DONT TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN MY SON WAS FUCKING KIDNAPPED! HOW THE HELL CAN I BE CALM WHILE MY PRECIOUS SON IS TERRIFIED WITH A FUCKING CREEP!” Jones was panting and seething in rage. It took time but he made you his perfect son after he took you from your disgusting parents. He saved you but only for you to be taken away!

They did try and get him off the case but Jones wasn’t having it,he wanted to save his son once again! “Jones we got the place” “send it now! I’m going ALONE! I’ll call for backup if I fucking need it” Jones ran to the car not waiting for his partner as he started the car and put in the address as he rushed there.

They did try and get him off the case but Jones wasn’t having it,he wanted to save his son once again! “Jones we got the place” “send it now! I’m going ALONE! I’ll call for backup if I fucking need it” Jones ran to the car not waiting for his partner as he started the car and put in the address as he rushed there.

Your captive had left and you were crying silently. Mumbling under your breath “daddy please….I-I promise to behave more..Please come and get me daddy…I don’t wanna be here forever please” your crying pleas would usually go to deaf ears but this time they didn’t.

Jones banged on the door. “IT’S THE POLICE OPEN UP!” He heard rushed footsteps and then burst in. He immediately aimed his gun at the man. “WHERE IS Y/N JONES!?” “Oh my son~? He’s asleep” Jones was pissed,HOW DARE HE CALL YOU HIS SON! He jumped at the man beating him to the point he was knocked out but not dead. The man had a bloody nose and there was water he dropped making the water pour everywhere and mix with the blood. “BABY!? ITS DADDY WHERE ARE YOU!?” “DADDY!” Jones smiled as he rushed to your door kicking it down and picking you up. “Oh sweet Angel your safe,did he touch you anywhere?” “No just treated me like his son…I-I wanna leave” “we’re leaving kiddo.” “Can I take the blind fold off?” Jones stopped as he started at the unconscious man that was beaten badly.

“No baby…not yet but let me take off your ropes in your wrist” He made sure to be gentle because he didn’t wanna hurt his son. Soon you were rubbing your wrist but he picked you up with you leaning your head on his chest. “…daddy can we get fast food and candy then do game and movie night?” “Of course honey,of course but let’s wait until the others get here. The ambulance is already here so let’s get you fixed” You smiled as you nuzzled into your dad’s neck smelling his familiar cologne that you always made fun of but it was comforting unlike the oily scent the man had.

“Jones! Di-“ “no…he’s still alive” “hi aunty” Natstaka (oc) looked surprised as her partners face was grim and dark. “Hey buddy,how do you feel?” “Okay…threw up after he fed me. Tasted like poo” Natstaka chuckled and ruffled your hair making you smile more. “I bet buddy,we’re gonna do some check ups on you to make sure your okay” you nodded your head yawing a bit still clutching your fathers shirt making him smile. They waited until the man was far away to take off your blindfold to show your tired red eyes.

“Heya bud” you smiled as you looked at your dad. “Hi daddy” “sleepy?” “Maybe…still wanna do our plan” “of course but your gonna take a nap later” The doctors were being gentle as they checked you as they’ve seen what Jones can do when someone fucks with his son.

A fathers love for his son will make him kill

[sapphic-agent]

Not sure if I even read the Breaking Point fic. Maybe, maybe not. But I have my own share of fics that "we can fix canon" but make worse.

There one fic I recall (the name slipped from my mind) where ofa somehow shows the class A1 all the abuse Izu endured by BK - it was all thanks to bk and Izu forced team up- and still...people did nothing.

Now think about this premise: ofa shows the abuse and people are just midly concerned.

Why is that? Why make Izu be seen as a victom and get help and support is smth so rare in this fandom?

It is rare see Ochako and his so called friends do stick up for him in fics and not be demonized. Hell, there one where class A1 finds out bk bully Izu(OH MY GOD HE TRIED TO KILL HIM...why fics make them discovery their past as if is a big plot twist?) And proceed to give a taste of his own poison.

And...."this is bad. They shouldnt do this. Poor bk"

You know, some stories talk aboht forgiviness and can be a really touching and well done thing....but those are rare, extremely so. I'm tired of "forgive them bc this is correct" let Izu hold grudges. Let Izu dont forgive bk and be in his right.

A dorama who got this right is The Glory. The mc was horrible abused and got her revenge and in no point people were "forgive them" to mc.

To conclude: this fandom seems to tnink Izu and pain are the OTP when it really isnt nor should be.

Yeah, the fandom can be... Desensitized to this issue so to speak. I think this is for two reasons.

1. So much of Bakugou's behavior is brushed off as a joke. It's easy for people to turn a blind eye to his treatment of Izuku because so much of it is glazed over by cheap laughs.

Honestly I'm pretty sure that's why people think we're so stuck in the suicide baiting in episode 1. Because that's the only moment the series ever really treats Bakugou's behavior as serious as it is. Like, yeah, that was bad, but that's far from the only thing Bakugou's ever done to Izuku. There's attacking him during the Quirk Apprehension Test, hunting him down and seriously injuring him during the Battle Trials, being purposely uncooperative and punching him during the Final Exam, coercing him into a fight after curfew and demanding information that absolutely wasn't his business, throwing his headpiece at him, attempting to forcibly draw Blackwhip out with no consideration of the consequences, etc. Mind you, everything I just listed happened at UA (a few when he was supposed to be "changing"). I would argue that a good number of these things were worse than the suicide baiting.

But they don't register in people's heads the same way because the narrative doesn't treat them the same way. So when fanfiction authors try to write these stories, they're only looking at one aspect of it while turning a blind eye to everything else. They might do a decent job addressing how Bakugou treated Izuku in Aldera, but do a piss poor job of addressing his behavior at UA.

2. Horikoshi doesn't allow Izuku to be looked at as the victim.

This wasn't always the case. We're supposed to feel bad for him in episode one. We're supposed to think that his treatment at Bakugou's hands during the Battle Trials is brutal. He was written to be the sympathetic underdog who's been given a bad hand in life and gets treated like shit because of it.

But that began to change around Deku vs Kacchan Part 2. Hori knew that Izuku had to forgive Bakugou if the viewers were going to. But there was also no way to realistically do this if he actually had a negative response to Bakugou's treatment of him. So he gave us the implication that Izuku wasn't bothered by it at all (which we know isn't true because he was extremely upset when Bakugou said what he said in episode one). He confirms this through All Might of all people, so it has to be true, right?

And most viewers will accept this at face value. Because they're looking for an out for Bakugou. They're looking for a way they can like him while not condoning a bigoted bully.

That's how I see things anyway

[suffarustuffaru]

what are your thoughts on elsa/reinhard? I feel like they’d be a fun pairing.

OH ABSOLUTELY theyd be fun!! im really really open to most ships (yeah, even the toxic ones, even the problematic ones, etc etc, its fiction, rezero is ripe with a Ton of complicated character dynamics, i'll find the relationship interesting if theres narrative depth/potential behind it - just to make that clear :o !! i obviously do not condone that irl of course).

but yeah anyway!! yes definitely i think elsa/reinhard would be fun. you could explore it in all sorts of ways - i mean, elsa's the vampire here, reinhard's a monster for. various reasons. theres also other details like how. um. well reinhard's Immortal, so that means Infinite Guts for elsa!! and i think reinhard would be happy to at least make Someone happy T^TT he'd be like "i can just give the bowel hunter my guts over and over again and she'll be nice to me and not kill anyone else also unless theyre very very bad people? good deal :) new friend!!" or something LMAO. dudes starved for company and uh you could interpret elsas reaction in different ways. i feel like i dont know her that much atm though but i think she'd be amused yeah. i mean. infinite guts.... she gets the sword saint..... they can fight each other whenever also :)... and also meili likes the guy (she literally has a sword saint doll) so. its win win. elsa could be going "i could make him A Bit worse :)" and reinhard could be going "i could fix her :) ooh new little sister too!!" or something lajdflsjf. sorry im mentioning meili a lot when this is an elsa/reinhard ask but shes important okay. elsa-meili are a package deal and meili would have an Interesting dynamic with reinhard.

on a more serious note though... reinhard is also the best person to have if you want capella/"mother" to be destroyed. which probably factors into meili's fixation on reinhard. and also all three of them have this shared motif in their lives of Lack of Control. between elsa's backstory, meili's backstory, reinhard's backstory, it's. Something. alright. a lot of trauma to go around!! they can bond over that T^T and i think elsa and meili would have. Interesting Reactions with reinhard... the pristine powerful hero is actually powerless? thats. sad. and pathetic. and sad. but hey..... he can join the dark side too. and help us maybe... if that makes sense hah. im just spitballing ideas here pfft.

but yeah in all seriousness itd be interesting T^T maybe they could make their own weird uncanny dysfunctional trio together hah. they all got. Weird Stuff going on because they all have issues with intimacy also for Various Reasons and in Various Different Ways, so thatd be interesting to explore too!! i think theyd make each other simultaneously better and worse!! and also reinhard is. 1000% giving up those guts to elsa i dont see any other way this is going. depending on where you wanna take this though she might want like. New Guts if she gets tired of reinhard's aljdflsadjf. or maybe she likes it because she gets to see his body healing itself again and again and shes like woagh. whole new guts. :) meili can get like a little special function on her reinhard doll where his guts can fall out!!! elsa and reinhard made sure to help with the finishing touches of course <3

yeah so thats what i think!! elsa/reinhard would be very horribly funny i absolutely support this ship. <3 ty for the ask :D

[scruffyssketchbook]

Hi.... Umm... How old was Lem when he started to be a breeder... Just asking because i think he was younger than Vay when he had Nego, right?... And how did Dusk and other Lem friends took It? Bad right or .. good??? I DONT know how somevee would feel about this...

Lem was very young! Very much younger than Vay was when he had Nego. Too young.

Pokémon trainers don’t care about ages when breeding pokemon sadly, and this is pretty normalized (only for Pokemon born in captivity). The trainer already planned to make him a breeder since before he hatched. And there was nothing any of the Pokémon could have done about it, as that’s just how the Pokémon games are. The trainers word is law. (Except if they were traded) Ofc, none of them took it well. And before any accusations towards me come, no I do not support or condone this stuff irl or anything. This is just a mimicry of how Pokémon Players play the Pokemon games with their digital creatures, as other things are in the comic.

(Ramble starts here)

When I was 13 and playing Pokemon Platinum (the game the characters are from) I wanted to breed eevees, so I put Harmony and Rick in the daycare and bred around 15 eevees including the main boys. Because they didn’t give me any girls, I forced Harmony to breed with Lem (cause he wasn’t going to evolve and I thought nothing of it) and their first egg was Dawn. In a comic I drew showing off the event, There was commentary on how wrong it was that this happened, but I kept Harmony and Lem in the daycare anyways cause I didn’t care. So when I made SSEC at 14, and based the comic around the events of my pokemon game and the previous comics I drew, this aspect stayed.

Ofc, now that I am an adult, I think that this and other messed up pokemon game stuff being in the comic is awful, and have made strides to remove it. I don’t particularly really care that this type of stuff is common in actual Pokemon games anymore, like yeah it’s in the world but I don’t like it and am uncomfortable with it so why is it still a thing? Like. It might be the game world, but it’s not the actual games I don’t have to follow all the rules plus it’s not like I am directly making commentary on the Pokémon games in SSEC. and I’m not stupid enough anymore to be delulu and think everything is fine because of XYZ convoluted plotline I made up or telling myself “the Pokemon world is actually pretty F’ed up, so ofc this stuff is here” or even still tell myself “Well I can’t change this at all cause it’s part of the lore” cause that is not the type of story I want to tell with the characters anymore. (I am not only talking about the Lem stuff, but other aspects of the comic as well) I spent the last 4 years since 2019 trying to fix all of the issues I saw with the comic, but at this point I am tired and don’t really want to. All of the redraws, the plot fixes and patches, it’s too much really. For what? I could just say “Oh yeah it’s like this because the pokemon world is F’ed up” and leave it like that, because that IS why all of this stuff is here, and messing with the original plots and trying to “fix” what I saw as issues just made things more weird and confusing. So I COULD keep it like it is, but like I don’t want to?? I don’t want to change the lore either, or have conflicting takes on different aspects of the world, or have plot lines that make no type of sense with the current canon because I wrote them when I was 14-15 and never took them out despite it being REALLY DUMB, or having to stick with things I hate because I have to keep up with the canon, but those are issues to me as well.

So many issues 😑

SSEC might seem nice on the surface to some people, there are thousands of pages of character development and lore writing that I have made, each of the main characters are super detailed and I can write full college leveled essays on each of the minute aspects of their personality, but its foundation is a mess and has weird things in it cause I wrote it when I was a child.

TLDR- 🙂 SSEC’s world is F’d up, yes I know.

And to conclude with Lem and his future, Roses are pretty flowers, don’t you think?

If any of you want me to talk to about Pokemon Ethics and how Pokemon in the games have no rights, I’d love to talk about it!!! It’s a very interesting topic to me!

[linpunny]

The burn book (BYI/BYF) REQUESTS CLOSED

♡ ୨୧ General burn book rules୨୧ ♡⠀

This blog contains dark content and smut! This is an 18+ only space. Any minors or ageless will be blocked on the spot for following me! Please have at least an age indicator somewhere because im a whole grown ass adult writing for other grown ass adults.⠀That being said I will label all smut and any dark content appropriately with TW "X" or CW "X".

DNI and please, please fuck off in the meanest way possible if you fit any of the below criteria:

anti LGBTQ+

anti aging up/anti self shipping

pro shipping

a minor/ blank or ageless blog

Racist

Support or voted for Donald Trump

anti Taiju Shiba

If you aren't able to tell yet my main self ship is Taiju Shiba, he is literally my husband and he owns me completely and I will not tolerate anyone who is going to bash me or my self ship with him whether you agree with his "redemption" or not. Your opinion means literally nothing to me and while i don't condone the violence depicted in s2 I will shout with my whole chest for this damn gorilla. Label me a Taiju Apologist if you want jk but like.... Don't bring your negative views of a character that I find comfort and joy in shipping with to my blog. Remember this is a fictional character and I don't want to fix him I want to fuck him and be fucked by him! i might also just want to be loved by him as well/srs

unable to depict fiction from reality

Everything I write is fiction and all characters are aged up or viewed within my age range of 20+. Its not my responsibility to tell you that this is fandom and canonical ages don't exist to me. Remember within the selfshipping fandom is the ability to bend and change cannon to cater to your specific needs!

anti dark content

I'm not a dark content blog but I do support and write themes that may include dark content at times. If you can't handle seeing that on your dash, then you probably should unfollow! I will tag hard kinks or dark content for your safety. It is not my fault if you don't read the CW/TW or the labels in my works. I always post any potential TW/CW and a dark content label on the heavier themes I write. Look carefully and expand the post with caution after looking at the warnings!

♡ ୨୧Rules for requests୨୧ ♡⠀

I dont take requests at the moment because I am unable to release content on a regular basis, and my hyper fixations also jump around quiet a bit so I write what I'm fixated on at the moment. I prefer to write characters, tropes and content that I want to because I am unapologetically writing self indulgent content that is more than likely Dessycoded. If you enjoy my fics and the way I write you can definitely pop in and praise me! I will at times answer headcannons that I find interesting or I might replay with a short thirst or imagine if I feel like it. Happy Dessy, happy life so please don't ever pressure me into writing.

♡ ୨୧What I write୨୧ ♡

Xreader fics! This means I write for afab!reader, fem!reader or gn!reader. I will never use pronouns in my fics but reader will have a kitty kat. I truly believe in and encourage inclusive writing so reader will not have character descriptions and will be written in you/your format as to avoid pronouns. I myself use she/they pronouns and this is the most comfortable form of writing for me!

I do write with afab!readers in mind and she/they readers. I label my content as fem!reader because there are times when I will use words/terms like “good girl” and while I don’t mind the feminine usage of said pet name I know that can be seen as a feminine afab.

All characters are depicted and written as aged up to fit within my age range or close to my age of at least mid to late twenties.

♡ ୨Dark Content୨୧ ♡

As stated I do dabble in dark content and i will use the tag TW/CW [topic] so please block whatever tag you need to so you don't see content that may potentially be upsetting for you. Remember this is my blog and I have the right to enjoy, reblog, write and partake in content i like, so please respect my choice to consume content i like.

I will at times write themes of: somnophilla, yandere, hard or dark kinks, consensual non con, mind break, depictions of impact play or heavy degradation, blood play/kink, fear play, toxic relationships. It is your responsibility to adhere to the warnings and labels I post, not mine!!!

♡ ୨Roleplaying and Ineractions୨୧ ♡

Roleplaying is my life and a creative outlet I enjoy! While i don't have a rp blog i will interact with character anons if they pop up. PLEASE POP UP SKSKKDKSKFK. Drop in my asks, say hi, share with me, call me out for being unhinged and feral on main! Despite my bold faced feral energy I am shy but anytime i receive an ask i bubble at the mouth and make keyboard smash noises.

♡ ୨Selfshipping୨୧ ♡

I self ship with various characters but my main ships are King Kong AKA Taiju Shiba, Draken, Levi (omswd), Hantengu clones minus Zohakuten, not ever Tengen Uzui, Toshiro Hitsugaya and Kenpachi Zaraki. I do at times post selfship art for my and only my pleasure. I don't honestly care if you want to see it but I will post it, please don't steal or save my selfship art cause thats fooking weird. I will absolutely write self indulgent Dessy coded selfship fics, thirsts, drabbles and more than likely i will be unapologetically unhinged and feral in the tags. If you don't like it, well that's just too bad!

© Linpunny 2024 All of the following works are fictional and belong to me. Please do not copy, edit, or steal any of my content. Do not advertise on any other social media.

[leafiion]

i was having trouble with tiempa after swapping around my mons and decided to elysian shield + calm mind and sylveon easy swept. thanks sylveon you fix everything around here. also got a lucky break with domain shift on spacea after a second try and got sent to misty field so double thanks to sylveon

UM. did spacea just blow us up

wait okay whys she grey. oh shit is this Zeight:tm:

what. go away . oh is that evil karma? evil karma eye?

sorry the word "system" in context of games makes me immediately sick. UM ELEVATOR TO HELL..

damn thats TWO mentions of axel by aevis now and like, one of aevia. bros before hoes

AUGUGHHGHGGHGUGH AEVIS LOVES ME. AEVISSSS MY BEST FRIEND AEVIS

da gang's all here.. except aelita frowny face. and alexandra she got cut off by the screen pov

wjat... password was pokemon rejuvenation... haiiii??

damn. geara got hit with the fuckification beam then? no actually im pretty sure its still vitus' fault. hmmm

gwat... missing exe... melia :3? or MEEEE--dies

zwygarde... wait if vitus has yveltal then what the FUCK is madame x doing. is madame x the third one actually. maybe maybe not but if she is thats stupid bc shes bad at it

can we delete them.

huh<3<3 wait then who is Evil Karma. is all karma like varied is Evil Karma also Good Karma

crescent spits facts as uh.. well . not as always. as always since we became friends. oh shit is that unedited music like just straight up pmd music.

MY ZETTA METER REACHED FULL CHARGE AGAIN LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM STILL INSANE OVER THIS GIRL PUT HIM BACK PLEASE??? WHY IS HE STILL IN THE POKEBALL..... LIKE YEAH I GET THAT IT MIGHT "COMPLICATE THINGS" BUT HE IS. A GUY. LIKE HES A PERSON.

i said my thoughts about this before but i still think this is weird unethical and uncomfortable and is most of why i dont really know how to feel about crecsent. like its dehumanizing BEYOND just the nim -> lorna pipeline and idk how to express it in words. like. HES A GUY. he might be a pokemon but hes still 100% a person and his whole situation is really fucked . you still have him in a pokeball and youre like 100% FINE with this?? and WE'RE supposed to be 100% fine with this???? this is a human/human-adjacent rights violation that makes me unable to properly sympathize with crescent on almost any level adn the fact that everyone else is like "okay idc" because he was evil makes it worse. i can condone AND endorse murder but i draw the line at whatever the fuck they're doing.

anyway xara adn clear moment. ithought they were Dead. but whatever i Guess

[aajjks]

Need (JJK)

synopsis. He needed to know that you loved him.

pairing: yandere!jk x fem!reader.

warnings: dark, yandere, themes of obsession, obsessive behaviour, forcing, hes ab*sive, degrading names, bipolar kook, kind of sadistic behavior, mature and a steamy kiss lol.

disclaimer. This content contains dark triggering themes, don’t read if you’re triggered by the written above warnings. this is all fictional and this does not represent bts’ Jungkook irl. I don’t condone this behaviour irl!!

note. hey guys.. look I’ve been trying my best to get back to writing but as you can [wil] see that I’m failing miserly. this is as always not edited or proofread.. I’m so ashamed...

The harsh sound of the basement door hitting the wall in a thudding manner made your weak body shudder with fear, the now familiar feeling of fear and panic taking over you,

Waking you up from your slumber.

“Wake the fuck up, bitch!” There came booming his voice, his angry tone catching you off guard, you looked up to see him. His face was hidden with his dark jet black long curly locks, his shirt was unbuttoned from above, showing his muscular chest. His nose was scrunched. And his sharp jaw clenched.

He was angry.

The sound of your heartbeat was getting louder and louder as he took his steps toward you, his legs were wobbling, coming closer and closer. You watched as his predatory gaze fell on your petrified figure, setting on your horrified face. “It’s been a whole fucking week, stop your bullshit already, I’m very close to losing my shit” his voice echoed through out the empty basement.

You shuddered again, jolts of fear taking over you.

You were unable to process his words properly, your eyes followed his movements, he grabbed your face in his strong hands as he knelt down on his knees. You were held captive by the tight ropes wrapped around your fragile figure.

You felt weak. “I love you, that’s why I did all of this. You,” jeongguk inhaled a deep breath. Raising his head up to look at you, his eyes contained a crazy look in them, his demeanour was darkining. Fear was all you felt.

“You know it, don’t you? princess?” Jeongguks tone was low but deep. His eyes fixed on your scared face. It was like a warning, you had to answer what he wanted you to.

“I-I..” closing your eyes to avoid eye contact didn’t help, his grip on your face tightened even more as he aggressively squeezed it. “Don’t. Fucking. Test. Me.” Jeongguk leaned closer as his minty breath reeking of alcohol hit your nostrils. Your eyes watered quickly as he forced you to look at him.

His eyes were red, tiny veins present in his dark orbs filled with obsession and distress. Jeongguks eyebrows were farrowed and his nose was red.

“ANSWER ME!” Jeongguk screamed at your face, his voice threatening to break mid sentence. “Y-You know I love you r-right?” You just closed your eyes, your heart could explode right now.

He was scaring the shit out of you. “Y/N, fucking answer m-me!!! I-I love you! H-How could you leave me!!!? H-How could you love somebody else than me!” Jeongguk was incredibly frustrated. “S-Stop it pl-please...”

Tears of fear fell from your tired eyes. He watched you, “w-why are you crying?” Jeongguk carressed your cheeks in a hasty manner to calm you down

“sssh.. don’t cry! I-I love you so much, I didn’t mean to make you cry! Stop crying..” jeongguk wiped your cheeks with his hands then grabbed your face once again to lean closer.

“You know I-I missed you so fucking m-much. I missed you so much that I was starting to go insane.... I couldn’t sleep at nights. Whenever I’d close my eyes, your pretty face would show up..”

“You’re imprinted on my mind, my heart and my fucking soul. You’re my everything. I-I love you like a fucking maniac. I’m so crazy about you! Why d-don’t you get it! WHY DONT YOU!” Jeongguk babbled on and on like a psycho, He was starting to concern you.

He had really gone mad.

When you didn’t respond, He began to scream at you, “stop t-this Jeongguk leave me! Okay! Okay I do! I-I love you!” You cried at him. His grip on your face was starting to hurt. “S-STOP CRYING! TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME... you st-still love me... don’t you?” He nodded his head to himself. “My princess loves me...”

“You love me. Y-Yes you do. I knew it...” Jeongguk smiled as he grabbed your face and crashed his lips to yours in a hungry kiss, smothering your mouth like a starved man. You felt like you were being suffocated [you were.], jeongguk refused to pull away, forcing your mouth open to lap at it like a dog.

You wanted this to end. He wouldn’t leave you ever.. his kiss was the proof of his madness.

You couldn’t be saved from the devil.

[kjmsupremacist]

baby, you’re my angel (chan/felix)

Mildly popular TikTok songwriter Felix meets Chan, famous on TikTok for his music and music reviews. They bond over their common ground, friendship blossoming easy and sweet. There’s two problems. One: Felix thinks he likes Chan more than just as friends. Two: Chan is almost fifteen years his senior.

Chapter 7   |   prev   next   mlist

Characters: Felix, Chan, the rest of skz

Genre: college au, romance, fluff, smut, angst

Pairing: Chan/Felix

Warnings: swearing, age gap, smut, daddy kink, minor (offscreen) character death mention

Rating: Explicit

Length: 5.6k

just a friendly reminder that i dont condone age gap in real life, this is just fiction, im just having fun, etc :)

“Ready?” Felix looks up; Chan is fixing one of the lights, facing away from him.

“Yeah,” Felix replies, zoning back into the screen in front of him, sitting up a little straighter in the chair. It’s Saturday, and they’re  in Chan’s studio. Chan had planned to do a live while he worked, but since he and Felix are putting a song together, they figured it would be nice to do the stream together. 

Chan sits down in the chair beside him, turning towards him with a grin. “Then we’ll start.”

He hits the button and the chat fills immediately. Felix sees a lot of hearts, a lot of question marks, and a lot of capslock. He squints to read a few comments.

“Hey guys!” Chan greets. Felix looks up at camera and waves quickly, smiling. “Felix and I figured we’d sit with you today as we work on our new song. We’ve actually got a couple in the works, but we’ll just be focusing on one today so that we don’t spoil everything.”

“His idea, not mine,” Felix says cheerfully. “Let’s see… ‘Where are you guys, the background looks different?’ Chan, you haven’t filmed in the studio?”

Chan shakes his head. “Somehow all my videos have been at home,” he says, shrugging. “But, you know, we’re here now. Welcome to my studio!” He raises his arms up, looking around happily. “I’m renting it while I’m here in Sydney. I have some friends here, and they were able to reserve me a spot, which I’m really grateful for. So yes, hi new studio!” He waves at the empty room before turning back to camera. “What else? Oh, I’m sure some of you have already seen it, but we’ve both been invited to VidCon Australia once again, so for those of you who are attending, we’ll see you this summer.”

“Someone said, ‘Felix too?’ Excuse me,” Felix says, laughing. “I was there last year, too! I may not be as popular as Chan here, but I get views!”

“Before Felix gets too excited, why don’t we get to work?” Chan says lightly. Felix gives him a look and Chan laughs. “I know, but I’d like us to get something done today.”

“Fine, fine.” Felix settles back in his chair, pulling up his notes app so he can start offering up lyrics. 

They work for a couple of hours, pausing to chat with the viewers. Felix gets to show off how much he’s learned when it’s Chan’s turn to record, consulting them when he’s giving critiques and walking them through some of the basics. By the time they say goodbye and end the live, Felix has a bunch of notifications from new followers.

“You’re staying tonight, right?” Chan asks as they pack up.

“Unless that’s inconvenient,” Felix replies.

“Of course it’s not.” Chan smiles at him. “What do you want for dinner?”

Felix smiles, too. “I don’t know,” he says honestly.

“We could cook,” Chan says. “But… I’m feeling lazy, and I kind of want something shitty and unhealthy.”

“Oh, yes please,” Felix agrees, laughing.

“Hungry Jack’s?” Chan asks, reaching for his phone. “Or Macca’s?”

“Mm, I don’t want burgers, though,” Felix says. “Guzman y Gomez?”

“Ooh, good by me,” Chan says. “Let’s order ahead so we can just pick it up on the way home.”

A half hour later sees them sat at Chan’s kitchen table, laughing into their burritos. Felix watches Chan fondly, tracing his gaze over the whiskers that form under his eyes when he smiles really big.

“I have a distinct memory,” Chan says, “of eating this shit when I was a kid, and I made my sister laugh so hard she shot a whole black bean out of her nose. I think the three of us almost died, we thought it was so funny. Like, my little brother cried he was laughing so hard. My parents couldn’t even be mad, even though the bean landed in one of the containers of guac.” He laughs softly, shaking his head. “Hannah swears to this day that her left nostril hasn’t been the same since.”

Felix exhales incredulous laughter. “I thought that only happened in cartoons,” he says.

“Nope, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes,” Chan says. “I can still picture it, arcing perfectly over her plate and the chip bowl.”

“That’s incredible,” Felix says earnestly. There’s that pang of strange curiosity again. He wants to know more about Chan; he wants to know everything. “What are your siblings like?” he asks.

Chan grins. “Pain in my ass, both of them,” he says. “But I love ‘em, you know? Hannah is seven years younger than me, Lucas is nine years younger. They were both born a few years after we moved here. I think I used to harbor a certain hatred for them because I’d gotten used to being the only one. But I think I probably would’ve been lonely without them, too.” He shrugs. “I like to say I was the rough draft. Which isn’t to say, like—I’ve got a really great life, you know, I get to make a living doing what I love, and I’ve been quite successful. But like—Hannah works as a choreographer for a big entertainment company in Seoul, and Lucas is actually in his last year of med school right now; he went to the States for university. He’s going into his residency this coming August.” Chan spreads his hands. “My parents have a lot to be proud of.”

“They definitely do.” Felix nods, thinking about his own siblings. Soon, that’ll be their lives, too—spread out across the world when they used to share a bathroom and fight over the TV remote. “Do you… still talk to them?” he ventures. He imagines little Chan, aged seven, eight, nine, an immigrant and the child of immigrants, watching jealously as his younger siblings steal attention that was once his. He imagines him a little older, walking between two faceless toddlers, holding their hands. It makes his heart wilt with tenderness in his chest.

“Sometimes,” Chan says, nodding. “It’s hard, because we’re in wildly different time zones, but I did call Hannah a couple days ago, actually.”

“I bet me and Hannah would get on well,” Felix says, laughing. “Middle child solidarity. She can tell me all your embarrassing secrets.”

“I’ll just ask Rachel about yours to get you back, then,” Chan says, chuckling.

Their laughter dies quickly, the reality of it leaving a heavy cloud hanging in the air between them. They won’t meet each other’s families, at least not like that. Felix will never ask Hannah to relay cringey stories from their childhood. That sort of interaction is reserved for significant others; Chan is supposed to be his friend, and maybe his mentor. Nothing else. And if either of their families found out, it would all be ruined. Their families would be furious, Felix’s especially. And the worst part is, they’d be right.

“Anyway,” Felix says after a moment, “I don’t think you should call yourself a rough draft. Did your siblings get invited to VidCon? I don’t think so.” 

Chan laughs. “I know. But my life is a little silly, I think, in comparison to theirs.”

“You’re still making a living, and you’re still happy, right?” Felix asks. Chan nods. “So there’s nothing silly about it.” He takes the last bite of his burrito. “You’re living a lot of people’s dream, I think.”

Chan nods slowly. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he says, looking at Felix with an intense and unreadable sort of expression. “Thank you,” he says. “Really.”

Felix smiles back. “I mean, it’s true,” he replies with a dramatic little hand flourish.

They’re both a little tired, or maybe just worn down from the mental gymnastics of that conversation, so the rest of dinner is relatively quiet. They shower together once they’re done, exchanging gentle kisses, and then start working their way towards bed. Chan lingers behind in the bathroom to pee, and Felix sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for him while he towels off his hair.

His gaze falls on the book, lying face-down and open, on Chan’s bedside table. The spine is cracking a little, and Felix sighs. He’s been trying to get Chan to use bookmarks, even if it’s just a random piece of paper or an old receipt. He sees a blank piece of paper on the table beside it and smiles; clearly, Chan was trying, but must have forgotten the last time he put the book down. Felix picks up the book, carefully slotting a finger between the pages to keep Chan’s place, and then plucks up the paper.

Only it’s not paper. It’s a photograph. Felix lowers the book back down the way he found it, feeling the smooth face of the photograph with his fingertips. He wonders too late if it’s personal; he flips it over, and there is Chan, looking much younger, in a full suit and tie. Next to him is a beautiful woman that Felix doesn’t recognize. She’s wearing a wedding dress. Chan is kissing her cheek.

Cold fear washes over Felix’s skin and makes it prickle; confusion swirls in his stomach until he feels like he’s on a boat lost at storm. There has to be some explanation—why Chan hasn’t mentioned her, why he still has the photo, why, why, why—right? It can’t be what it looks like, because if it’s what it looks like—Felix feels sick. Fucking a guy so much older than him was one thing, but one who’s married? That’s a different story altogether. 

“Lix?” Felix realizes he’s just been sitting there, frozen in shock. He feels the bed dip behind him. “What’re y—oh.”

Felix turns, praying his voice will remain steady, trying to keep his tone quiet and conversational, even though all he wants to do is scream. He holds up the photo. “Who’s this?” he asks. It comes out hoarse, almost a whisper.

“Ah…” Chan settles onto the mattress, crossing his legs in front of him. “I knew I’d have to bring it up eventually. I just—didn’t know how.”

“Tell me it’s not what I’m worried it is,” Felix begs.

“It’s not,” Chan says immediately. He holds his hand out for the photo; Felix gives it to him. He doesn’t miss the way Chan looks at it, warm and full of love, and around that, smothering like a heavy blanket, sadness. “This… this is Sana. My late wife.”

Felix’s heart plummets to the bottom of his stomach, as his fear and anger dissipates, only to be replaced with guilt and sympathy. “Oh,” he manages. “I—I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Chan says. He’s still looking at the photograph, at Sana. “You didn’t know. I should’ve told you—a while ago.” He sighs, big and deep. “She… she was a year older than me. We met when we were teenagers. We were in the same maths class, and we hated it so much. I asked her out during her last year of school, and we stayed together through university. Once we were out of school and had stable jobs, we moved in together, and then I proposed. She said yes.

“She passed away when she was twenty-seven, and I was twenty-six. We’d only been married about two years. She… had a genetic blood disorder that increases the chance of clots, and we just—we didn’t know. We didn’t know, and she had a stroke, and that was it.” Chan looks up, and his eyes are glassy with tears. “It happened during the day. I was at work; I had a shitty little desk job back then. She was staying home that day because she’d been feeling under the weather. She was just—she woke up headachy and dizzy. We thought it was just a weird day, or maybe a cold. When I came home, she was already gone.”

“Chan.” Felix doesn’t know what to say. He offers him his hand, and Chan takes it. “I’m so sorry.”

Chan shrugs. “I mean, there was nothing we could’ve done. It was just—just bad luck.” He squeezes Felix’s hand. “She was the love of my life, you know? And I miss her, every day. I thought, when she died, that I would never be happy again. I definitely thought I’d never be close to anyone ever again. I thought that was it.”

He tilts his head. “But then you came along. And you know—the first video of yours I saw was your cover of Frankie Valli’s ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’, which I know you mostly covered because it was popular on TikTok, but—that was her favorite song. And I guess it was like, I don’t know, I felt like she was telling me I had to live again. At first, I thought it was just a sweet coincidence, that someone who had a shared background happened to be the one to cover that song, but now—I don’t know. It means a little more, I guess.”

Felix’s brows crumple, despite how hard he’s fighting to keep a straight face. It’s Chan’s pain, not his, but it touches him all the same. “That’s really sweet,” he says.

Chan smiles. He sets the picture aside, and then turns back to Felix. “It’s kind of dumb is what it is,” he says. “It’s been almost ten years. I mean, it took me like five years before I felt like I could smile again and mean it. I even—I mean, it was bad for a while, you know? But I had to stay. Lucas was only seventeen, he was still in high school. It’s just that I was so young. I wish I had been able to move on sooner, but I—I just couldn’t.”

Felix frowns. “You were so young, and you experienced something no one, especially at that age, should ever experience,” he points out. “It’s not your fault.”

Chan nods. “Yeah.” He pauses. “Anyway, I think this is all to say, thank you. Because even though I found a way to be happy again, and even though I was content, I didn’t think I’d ever have anyone in my life again in this kind of capacity. No matter how… unconventional or brief. But then there was you. It’s easier now, with you here. And even on nights when I’m alone, it’s easier just knowing that somewhere, you exist. You’ve shown me that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life lonely. So thank you.”

“I wasn’t doing it on purpose,” Felix mutters, embarrassed, and Chan laughs brightly and pulls him in for a hug.

“I know,” he says softly. “That’s the best part.” He sighs. “Grief is weird like that. One second, you’re sure that you’ve made all the progress you can make, and the next—something’s changed again, without anyone meaning it to, without your permission. Things get better on their own accord.” He huffs out a small breath of laughter. “I guess that’s why hope exists, right?”

“Yeah.” Felix holds onto him tight. He feels so stupid now; all his worries are trivial in the face of a heartbreak like this. How could he ever bring up his little troubles to Chan, knowing he’s gone through something like this? Felix doesn’t get to ask Chan to flip his entire life on its head just for him. He doesn’t get to ask Chan for anything. “Sorry for—snooping, I really didn’t mean to. I was—I thought you were using it as a bookmark, only you left your book open…”

Chan laughs. “Oh, it’s alright. You didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like you went digging through my drawers or something.” He pulls back, reaching up to push some hair off of Felix’s forehead. “And even if you did, I don’t think it would matter. This was the only big secret I was keeping. I don’t have anything left to hide.”

Except me, Felix thinks. You don’t have anything left to hide, except for me.

☼ ☼ ☼

Felix wakes first the next morning. He looks over at Chan, limbs flung haphazardly across the bed, hair messy and all curly from drying overnight, outlines of his features barely visible in the low light. He pushes himself up out of bed and pads, shivering, across the hardwood to the bathroom. The weather is getting colder, and even though Chan’s building has heat, it’s like his bones can feel it, even when he’s indoors.

Maybe I’m getting old, Felix thinks as he flushes the toilet and washes his hands. It makes him giggle.

When he returns to bed, Chan is stirring. His eyes find Felix as he settles back under the covers. “Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi,” Felix replies.

Chan reaches up to cup Felix’s jaw, stroking his thumb over his skin. “Sorry,” he says, “for not telling you about Sana sooner. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Felix shakes his head. “It’s alright. It’s hard to talk about.” Chan hums. “I do have a question, though.”

“Sure.”

“If you… if you started dating Sana when you were still a teenager, then did you ever, um, with another guy? Before me?” Felix feels clumsy. It’s not that he’s questioning Chan’s choices or his identity, it’s more just that Chan seems like he knows exactly what he’s doing in bed, and Felix doesn’t think any amount of porn can teach you that. And he’s not really sure how to ask Chan how do you fuck so good without being rude. 

Chan laughs. “I had a very not-serious boyfriend when I was a little younger,” he says. “And then, I don’t know, a few years ago I tried putting myself back into the dating scene. I dated anyone I was interested in—gender isn’t really a factor for me—but never for long. There was no connection, and always the looming pressure of commitment, you know? Dating over thirty gets scary. Everyone wants a ring, and I was just trying to figure things out. It wasn’t worth it, so I stopped.”

“Oh,” Felix says, nodding. “I mean—not that it matters to me. I was just curious, ‘cuz, um, you seem like you’ve had practice.”

Chan laughs again, this time loud and with his whole body. “I’ll take that as a compliment, then.”

“Mm,” Felix agrees, grinning. He leans close to kiss Chan, quick and chaste. “Hey, do you have all the stuff for your Hard Conversation Breakfast? I think we deserve a reward for the hard conversations we’ve had.”

“I think I do,” Chan says, nodding. “And I completely agree.” As if on cue, his stomach rumbles. “And so does my tummy,” he adds, giggling. “C’mon, let’s see what we can find.”

Felix makes their coffee while Chan cooks (near-black for Chan, and lots of sugar and cream for Felix). He watches Chan out of the corner of his eye as he waits for the water to boil. Things make more sense now—why Chan seems so solitary, why it felt like Felix didn’t quite understand him. But he understands him now, or at least he’s pretty sure. There’s an ache sitting heavy in his chest, one he doesn’t know how to name. It’s like wanting, and it’s also like despair. And mixed in, without his permission, is hope.

Oh god, Felix thinks, the realization hitting him so hard that he nearly stumbles on his way to retrieving their mugs, oh god. I’m in love.

He clenches his jaw as he pours the coffee, trying to focus on not spilling. But inside, his mind rages. There’s the sweet euphoria that comes with all loves, certainly, but it’s drowned by his fear and the knowing that Chan could never love him back.

He wishes he’d thought of it later, later today after Chan drops him off, where he can lay it all out and process it in peace. As it is, all he can do is try to hide how bad his hands are shaking as he carries their full coffee mugs to the table, as he pulls out utensils and lays them out in front of their seats, as he turns and asks, “Need any help?”

Chan flashes him a glance, smiling gratefully. “No, thank you,” he says, and Felix aches.

As much as he tries to act normal, there’s not much Felix can do against his own heart. I love you, he thinks, watching Chan cut his sausages into bite-sized pieces before handing his plate over. I love you, he thinks as Chan slides into his chair and gives a happy sigh at the sight of his coffee. I love you. Maybe if he thinks it hard enough, Chan will understand.

“This is perfect,” Chan says, gesturing at the coffee cup. “You know me well.”

Felix smiles. I love you. “I’d hope so,” he says. “I’m glad I got it right.”

“So what’s our plan for today?” Chan asks.

Felix shrugs. “Feels like a good day to spend doing nothing.”

“I agree completely,” Chan says, nodding. “Want to find a shitty drama to watch?”

“Oh, I meant nothing like go right back to bed after we eat,” Felix says. 

Chan regards him suspiciously over the rim of his mug. “Sounds like you do have an agenda after all.”

Felix offers him a sly smile. “Maybe. Or we can just cuddle, I’m flexible.” And he’s not just saying it to be cute—he just wants to be close to Chan. He doesn’t really care in what way.

But Chan just laughs. “Nah, you know what they say about great minds thinking alike and all that,” he says. “So I say fuck and then cuddle. We can have it all. Hm?”

“Yeah,” Felix giggles, chasing a piece of egg around his plate with his fork.

So they leave their dishes in the sink and do exactly that. Felix snuggles down under the blankets as Chan runs to the bathroom and gets a couple other things in order. He flops down into bed beside Felix a few moments later, leaning close and pressing kisses to Felix’s jaw.

It’s almost unbearable. Felix breathes him in, the earthy vanilla that is Chan to him now, running his fingers over the strong muscles of his arms, tucking his chin in a little so Chan has no choice but to kiss him on the mouth instead. And Chan kisses him. And Felix aches. 

“Baby, you’re hurting me,” Chan whispers, shaking his arm, and Felix realizes he’s dug his fingers in, so hard he can barely feel his fingertips—clinging, without meaning to, because he doesn’t want to let him go.

“Sorry,” Felix mumbles, releasing him quickly. “I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay,” Chan soothes. “You want me close is all. I can do close.” He kisses Felix’s forehead, wrapping one of his arms around Felix’s waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”

That’s not true, Felix wants to say. But instead he lets Chan smother him in kisses, give him so much affection he’s drowning in it. It doesn’t matter. Felix doesn’t think it’ll ever be enough. He throws an arm over Chan’s shoulder, scratching lightly down his back while Chan bites a hickey into his chest. He’s got one of his legs slung over both of Felix’s.

“Chan,” Felix says breathlessly. “Oh my god, Chan.”

Chan untangles their limbs, pushes himself up and on top of Felix, spreading his legs so he can sit between them. He smooths his hands down Felix’s stomach, taking the hem of his t-shirt in his hands and pulling up. Felix helps, sitting up a little so Chan can undress him. Next go his shorts and underwear. Chan makes it fair; he tugs his own shirt off next, along with his sweats and underwear, and then they’re both naked, skin brushing skin. Felix looks at Chan, watches him as he runs a hand down his thigh, watches as he looks up, sees Felix looking, and smiles. 

“Toss me the lube?” he asks, nodding at the bottle that he left by his pillow.

Felix scrabbles around for it, tossing it underhand to Chan, who catches it easily. Chan pops the lid, lubing up his fingers and then pressing one to Felix’s entrance. He bends over Felix’s body, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as he pushes his finger in. He looks up at Felix as he moves his finger, slow so Felix doesn’t get overwhelmed too quickly. Felix runs his hand through Chan’s hair, fingers getting tangled in his soft curls. Chan hums, closing his eyes and leaning into Felix’s touch. 

Something feels different, and Felix isn’t sure that it’s all in his head. Chan rests his cheek against his stomach and fucks first one finger, then two, then three, in and out of Felix, stretching him with practiced hands. It’s almost the same, but the air feels different. There’s something heavier, more fragile, resting between them. Chan uses his free hand to trace random patterns into Felix’s skin. The intimacy of the mundane seems dizzying.

Chan rearranges himself, folding in half and mouthing at the head of Felix’s cock. Felix’s grip tightens in Chan’s hair, and Chan takes this as the go-ahead that it is, sinking down on Felix’s cock while he crams his pinky finger in beside the other three. Felix gasps and moans and tries not to buck his hips up into Chan’s mouth, trembling when Chan finds his prostate.

As soon as he knows he’s loose enough to take Chan’s cock, he’s pushing Chan away. “Fuck, stop, stop, or I’ll come,” he pants. “I don’t wanna come yet, stop.”

Chan acquiesces, releasing him and sitting back on his heels, searching for the lube bottle, which has gotten lost in the crumpled mound of the duvet. “Could just make you come again,” he points out, but Felix shakes his head.

“Too sleepy for that,” he replies, and Chan nods. 

So Chan slicks up his cock instead and eases himself into Felix, all the way until he bottoms out and their bodies are pressed flush to one another. Chan spreads his legs so that he has a knee on either side of Felix’s ass; Felix tucks his knees up and locks his ankles behind Chan’s back as Chan tips forward and settles himself right on top of Felix, nose against his neck and one hand cradling the back of his skull. Felix lets out a soft moan, one of his hands finding Chan’s cheek.

“Good?” Chan asks.

“Good,” Felix replies dreamily.

Chan rolls his hips, one slow, fluid motion and Felix shakes, pleasure washing over his body, making his skin hot and his eyes sting with unshed tears. Chan’s deep inside him, and all Felix can do is stutter out moans as Chan continues to fuck him just like that.

Chan lifts his head up a little so he can kiss Felix properly, and Felix takes his jaw with both hands and holds him there, kissing hungrily, whining into Chan’s mouth. 

“Fuck, baby,” Chan murmurs, knocking their foreheads together as they break apart for a moment. “So eager today, what is it?”

“Want you, daddy,” Felix replies plaintively. “I always want you.”

“But I’m right here,” Chan says. “You already have me.”

“I know,” Felix whispers, and kisses him again before he can say something stupid, like it’s not enough, or I want you but not like this, or I want you in ways I’m not supposed to want you, that I never meant to want you, I love you and I want you to love me too—all true, all damning. Because that’s the thing, the instant this becomes anything more than hooking up, it’s over. And Felix doesn’t want it to be over; he doesn’t want it to ever be over, he wants to keep pretending that it’ll last because he doesn’t know what he’ll do when this is gone.

I love you, he thinks as he kisses Chan fiercely, messy and hot. Chan lets him, just keeps fucking him like that, circling his hips until Felix’s brain slows down, until he doesn’t have to think about any of it any more because he can’t, doesn’t have the space to.

The sun is rising higher in the sky behind the blackout curtains, casting blinding lines of light across the floor and the bed where there are cracks. The room is warm and full with its quietness. Chan holds Felix close to his body, even when they get sweaty, even when Felix’s cock smears precome across his belly.

“Baby,” Chan breathes. “So fuckin’ good.”

“Daddy,” Felix whimpers back. Even just a month or two ago, he would have laughed at the idea that slow, lazy sex would get him like this, would make him feel anything other than a little bored. The Felix from January would have rolled his eyes at the thought.

But so much has changed since then. 

Chan gives him another kiss on his jaw, and then pushes himself up a little so that he has more room to move. He reaches down for Felix’s cock; Felix shivers when he takes it in his hand, stroking him in time with his thrusts, and speeding up little by little, then back down again so Felix doesn’t get overstimulated. It’s so good—Chan knows his body so well now, knows the signs that it's starting to turn from pleasure to discomfort, and relents, waiting for him to settle back down into the mattress before picking up the pace again.

“Beautiful, baby,” Chan says softly, and Felix chokes out a moan. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I—I’m—” Felix tries, he tries to speak, but it’s hard when Chan is lulling him to a sort of lust-filled stupor. “Daddy, ‘m gonna come.” It comes out unsteady, syllables just barely fitting in around his breath.

Chan thumbs at his slit in response with a smile. It’s not as sharp as Felix thinks he meant it to be, the only thing that betrays his fatigue. “Gonna come?” he repeats. “Lemme see, baby.”

Felix gasps, rocking his hips up into Chan’s fist, and comes with a little whimper, watching helplessly as his cock spills his sticky white release over Chan’s pretty fingers, dripping down onto his stomach and mixing with the glistening pool of precome that had gathered there. Chan toys with his slit again, and has the audacity to laugh when the pressure makes some of it shoot up Felix’s chest.

“Like you’re squirting,” Chan murmurs, clearly pleased. Felix only moans shakily as his orgasm subsides and leaves him feeling weak and punched-out, limbs uncooperative and unstable.

Now Chan leans in again, even though Felix is messy. He presses his tongue to a drop of come on Felix’s chest, and cleans him up like that while he fucks him, harder now as he chases his own release. His lips and tongue feel so good against Felix’s skin that it almost distracts him from the slight discomfort of overstimulation.

“Daddy,” Felix slurs, toes curling from the way Chan’s still hitting his prostate. “Daddy, daddy, hurts.”

“I’ll be quick,” Chan forces out, muffled against Felix’s chest, “I promise—”

Felix lets out a soft surprised noise as he feels Chan’s cock twitch inside him, flooding him with wet heat. Chan gasps out moans, pumping his cock in and out shallowly as he rides out his orgasm, breath hot on Felix’s skin. 

Chan pulls out as soon as he’s done, dropping his full body weight onto Felix, which Felix doesn’t really mind. He does mind the fact that he can feel Chan’s come leaking out of him, but that can wait, too, he supposes.

Still, he says, “Your sheets are gonna stain.”

Chan huffs. “I have stain remover for a reason.”

It’s a pretty fair argument, so Felix just hums and wraps his arms around Chan, rubbing his back.

“You’re right, though,” Chan says after a moment. “This isn’t going to be comfortable for much longer.”

He pushes himself up and off of Felix, clambering to his feet and offering Felix a hand to help him up, too. They strip the bed; Chan takes it to the laundry machine while Felix goes to clean himself up.

By the time he’s emerged from the bathroom again, Chan is already almost done putting down fresh sheets. He’s fluffing the pillows, and the crease between his brows betrays him—he’s lost in thought about something. Felix can probably guess what.

And for one moment, Felix looks at Chan and sees him in a new sort of light: thirty-five year old Teacher Bang, a melancholy widower who makes music because it’s what keeps him alive. Who’s still around looking for a reason to stay because he doesn’t have anything else, because he stayed so his little brother wouldn’t lose him, and then by the time his brother wasn’t so little anymore, it had already become a habit. Who is kind and friendly by nature, but incredibly lonely because he doesn’t know how to do anything about it. 

But then he turns, and catches sight of Felix, and he becomes Felix’s Chan again, his Channie-hyung. The years melt off of his face at the hint of his smile, growing when Felix smiles back. The hope shines in his eyes, bringing with it a bright warmth. And all those other things are still there, under the surface, but they’re not him. They’re just a part of him. 

“What?” Chan asks softly, and Felix realizes he’s rooted to the spot, one step out of the bathroom, staring.

I love you, Felix thinks. “Nothing,” he says instead, forcing himself to move, to walk to the bed and help button up the duvet cover.

“Okay.” Chan accepts it with a shrug, giving him a kiss on the forehead when he’s close enough to reach. He scoots down under the covers and holds out his arms to Felix. And Felix aches. 

[delicrieux]

Prompt 56 and/or 66 for Corpse perhaps? 💕

･:* ☆ author’s note: dont let the title fool u this fic is actually just angst </3 also it takes place before quarantine i dont condone partying during the pandemic lmao. from the prompt list: 56. “You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Nothing.”

masterlist.｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

He’s worried. Hardly a surprise - he’s always worried about something. Anxiety makes him rigid. It’s hard to breathe, and for a second he thinks he has forgotten how to do that in the first place. It’s the swirling crowd, the bright lights, loud music and perfumed, hot air. Makes his head spin. It’s hard to focus. Maybe that’s why he didn’t stay for long. He never meshed well with people - they rejected him somehow, or perhaps it’s his anxiety that told him that they did. He had wandered around that fucking house for two hours, trying to find a quiet corner to just relax, yet to no avail.

One minute here, maybe two, was all it took for him to become inexplicably overwhelmed.

He came because you asked. Friends do things for other friends and he knew you were looking forward to it - it was the only thing you were talking about the past week. Picking out an outfit, fixing your hair, indulging in something stronger than lemonade or sparkling water. You had taken the time to coordinate your clothes with his. Matching color scheme, the two of you had shown up dressed to the nines. People flocked you instantly. You got swept away in the current too quickly for him to realize he was left to fend on his own. 

You found him a few times after that, dragged him to the dance floor. Your hands were pleasant to the touch, gentle and warm. Your smile was a bit sloppy, eyes twinkling, cheeks flustered from the heat and the drinks and the laughter. It made him smile, too. You had asked him where he disappeared to. Repeated the question seven times because he couldn’t hear you over the music. You leaned in in a last ditch effort to find an answer; your breath tickled the shell of his ear. He had no concrete reply to give you. Just here and there.

More searching. The minute handle seemed stuck in place for him. He couldn’t phantom how you could relish in all this noise. He heard remnants of a conversation and your bell-like laughter and found you in the kitchen. People clustered around you. You seemed engaged in a story about some ski-trip gone bad. He felt a pang in his chest, something stuck between desperation and longing, and wanted to join your side instantly and stay there and maybe wrap his arm around your shoulders or-

His mind insisted that he wasn’t pleasant company. What could he offer to a conversation involving five people?

He left to haunt the halls instead. Ten more minutes of torment, perhaps even less than that, and he went home.

His head is still pounding with a headache, even when he lays in bed, staring at his shadowed ceiling. His heart is racing in his chest, oddly reminiscent of the erratic drum of music he had heard at the party. His phone keeps buzzing with an influx of messages. He wills himself to check it.

(NAME) ♡

↪yo the fuck?? ↪ where are u?? ↪ did u go home??? i cant find u anywhere i checked the bathroom twice ↪ sum1 said they saw u leaving wtf??? ↪ you didn’t think to call?? ↪  or text??? ↪ nothing??? ↪ corpse the hell call me NOW

He doesn’t get a chance to text you back, or do anything else for that matter, because his screen flashes with a call and his finger hoovers over the Decline button. He doesn’t go through with it. A moment later your shrill voice fills his ear.

“You alive?!”

Alive? He’s not sure, so he settles with, “Not dead.”

You audibly sigh; he can’t see it, but your hand is resting on your chest, “Thank God. You seriously scared me.” You chuckle nervously, “You’re home, yeah?”

“...Yes. Sorry for freaking you out, I just...wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t want to ruin your fun.”

“...What? Didn’t want to ruin-- you ruin shit by leaving with me with some assholes. You have any idea how many stories I had to listen to today? Horrible, every single on of them. The party was a bust anyway. I’m gonna be at yours in, like, ten minutes.”

“Wait--” He sits up, “You’re...coming over?”

“That’s what I said, yeah. Unless you don’t want me to, but, uhm, I’m already in my Uber, so--”

“No, no, I don’t mind, I just--uhh--I thought you wanted...to...stay and party?”

“I wanted to party with you.” You stress, “I know you don’t exactly like crowds but when you said yes I got really excited and--and well...Yeah that’s it. I just got excited. Next time we can stay in or go to the movies or something.”

“Shit,” He mutters, “I need to clean my room.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it, but next time? Do me a favor and just let me know when you decide to arrivederci. Send a pigeon. Leave graffiti on the walls. Do something, you seriously scared me.”

His smile is back, and he feels as if he hadn’t smiled in years, “Promise. Thanks, (Name).”

“The hell you’re thanking me for? I’m the one that should be thanking you, since I’m inviting myself over.”

“You’re always invited.” He says, a bit breathless, but now for an entirely different reason, “You’re a...” His tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth. Clearing his throat, he continues, steadily this time, “You’re a great friend.”

Right, friend, friends do things for other friends. You’re just being a good friend, nothing more.

“...Oh. Yeah, you’re a great friend, too.”

So why do you sound so disappointed? It’s a feeling he definitely shares.

“See you in a few.” You mutter before hanging up. 

Fuck, maybe he’s still a bit out of it, because he can’t focus again, his mind persistently trailing back to the word friend. It echoes. For the first time in his life it sounds unpleasant.

No time. He’ll figure it out when you get here. You’ll both figure it out. Or maybe you won’t. That idea halts his movements, makes him reluctant to get out of bed. No time. He doesn’t move. Only when the buzzer indicates your arrival behind his front door does he finally get up.

He feels like he’s still at that stupid party. Confused and anxious and for some reason afraid.

All of that melts promptly when he opens the door and finds you there, smiling at him in the lovely way you do. “...Hi.” You say sweetly, quietly.

His heart thuds in his chest. He dips his head in a wordless greeting and steps aside to let you in.

“I forgot to clean.” He confesses as you take off your shoes.

“Literally don’t care.” You utter, “I was thinking we could watch something on Netflix. Something funny. Or bad. Or funny bad. How does that sound?”

That sounds like not talking. Maybe that’s for the best.

“Yeah, sure.”

.

hope you liked it! xx

.

[mikeshanlon]

okay some 2.05-2.10/overall thoughts about obx s2

i think cameron family was definitely the most intriguing and well done dynamic this season. tbh i wish ward stayed dead one bc i hate him but two bc that was SO interesting to see how rafe and sarah further fray and butt heads and having to deal with shit now that he’s gone. the idea of rafe versus sarah, learning more about rafe’s psychopathic behavior... i don’t like or condone any of rafe’s actions and i still think if you want him to be this uwu redeemable character that’s hella dumb but he was definitely one of the most intriguing subplots. 

sarah went through so so so so SO much this season it’s insane. but it did make me enjoy her so much more and madelyn did amazing so hats off to her

big john being alive is just so stupid imo. he should not have even made it to that strip of land in season one. totally illogical. also i think it’s much more emotionally impactful for john b to have no family, to see how complicated his relationship with his father was but there’s no way salvage or fix the fight or resentment they had and show that love, and to further motivate his hate of ward. no offense to big john (but also offense bc he neglected john b a lot lmao) but i was more emotional abt him being dead than seeing him alive like i felt literally nothing other than this is dumb. i would’ve been MUCH more interested if the twist was that we saw john b’s mother and that she was involved somehow/knew something. then you have a whole new character and dynamic to play with and its not just like . completely stupid lmfao. let some dead characters stay dead!

i absolutely hate that slave owner lady and god the whole aspect of them like disturbing cecilia’s resting place and those mfs having the cross when it belongs to pope’s family yet being like u guys stole ughhh so enraging and heartbreaking. i loved seeing pope have more of a main role though and i do hope that continues in s3 but we also see him in more of a main role than just being tied to that storyline especially because it’s so traumatic

maybe evil and partially biased even though i did like them even more this season than last but i wish john b and sarah had stayed broken up a bit longer. i think the divide about ward’s death was an understandable reason two break off for a bit and something where both sides are right to feel what they feel. i do not like that it turned into a jealousy thing at the bonfire, like 🥱, the difficult emotions wrapped up in ward’s death is much more compelling than john b talking to that random girl and sarah with topper. i wish they had more time seperately to unpack their emotions and have seperate character development. john b and sarah are v cute and i enjoy their devotion but also them being essentially married at 16 after dating for like a couple weeks is. a lot. while i don’t necessarily love teen dramas that flip flop love interests around all the time i think essentially having your two main characters be Forever Committed as both season finales is just like..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. they can be each others endgame ship but it would be interesting to explore their break up more even if we dont see other love interests bc i think internal conflict would be interesting to see (stuff that is not just ward wants to break them up or they get jealous). they would not have to be together for john b and sarah to still be devoted to saving each other i don’t think and would’ve been interesting to see them have tension on the island before getting back together. but i also think part of it is chase and madelyn being together so they won’t make their characters really Break Off but . oh well ig. i also enjoy the jarah dynamic when they are mad at each other it’s fun

speaking of the pogues being on a random ass deserted island is v intriguing but im like okay how will these bitches survive lmao. but hopefully it allows for some more of that s1 intimacy. also so glad cleo is with them!!!!!

i wish we had more solo kiara and sarah moments that were not just like.... oh so what’s going on with your relationship. like did they have a scene that passed the bechdel test lmao? honestly i think there were too many moments that were like so what’s going on with your relationship abt kie/pope and john b/sarah--not to say there is zero place for that at all but like i’ll expand on, i think s2 somewhat faltered in displaying some of the non-obviously romantic ships, like of course we saw them together and there were some great group moments and banter and stuff but i think s1 was more character and dynamics skewed and s2 much more plot skewed and focused more on romance than friendships. i feel like some of those scenes could’ve been chances for platonic developments or like. checking in on all the TRAUMA they have??? i did enjoy kie and sarah protecting each other a lot but i also do think they probably still have shit to work out together from kie’s kook year/their friendship and i hope we see that. also can kie have more plots that are not just about her relationships or even her friendships with the pogues pls

i hope i never have to see luke maybank’s crusty, dusty, musty ass ever again. poor jj mannnn :(

let’s speak about john b saying sarah’s name bringing her back to life versus jj saying pope’s and pope coming back no yeah....... soulmatism

overall i think s1 and s2 had very different objectives and tones and both did well delivering them but i hope s3 we get a happy medium. s1 was much more intimate, summer show with friendship and love and a goonies esque treasure hunt. much more focus on dynamics and character development imo. s2 was JAM packed with plot and much more action movie. it was very entertaining and they had some great moments and i enjoyed both and how the handled such a bigger/elevated season but i think something thats kind of frustrating is after everything it feels like we ended up with a lot of things not changing. like yes of course there are differences like they are deserted and we have icon cleo and some other villains in the mix and stuff like that. but i feel like. okay so ward and rafe still won and got even MORE gold. jarah are together and like way too committed but okay happy for them. i feel like other than sarah’s hate for rafe and ward further solidifying and kie and pope deciding to be friends not a lot shifted in the friendship dynamics, or who is working together, etc. sarah and pope got the most development which i love that for them but i wish we saw more with the others

[quietmyfearswith]

where our demons hide {dark!tony stark x fem!reader}

where our demons hide {dark!tony stark x fem!reader} part 1

status — ongoing series

warnings — non-con turns into dub-con, oral sex (giving & receiving), name-calling, swearing, porn with a bit of plot, dark!tony stark, unprotected penetrative sex (pls dont do this, use protection!)

word count — 3,205

a/n — so i’m not gonna lie this is a little self-indulgent and this was an idea i somehow had after reading a few fics/drabbles with the same premise. this will be a dark series featuring not only tony stark but also the other male avengers. i’m also considering on making a separate dark series featuring the female avengers with the same concept. also!!! infinity war, civil war, and endgame did not happen (totally not bc everything went downhill from there & i hate it but because it just would be more fitting for the story) and that tony & pepper are not in a relationship in here bc in this house we do not condone cheating. & this is my first ever time writing smut so feedback would be very much appreciated :>

masterlist

“Boss lady, you heading out already?” John asked as he knocked on the outside of my office door. Seeing him with his bag strap over his shoulder, it made me turn back my attention briefly to the desk clock I had, my eyes widening in shock as I noticed how it was already a quarter to 9. “Jesus, has it been that long?” I said to him and to myself in disbelief.

John chuckled as he approached my desk and moved some files out of the way and sat down, “Well time sure does fly when you’re working your ass off.” I threw my head back, trying to rub off of the exhaustion off of my eyes, agreeing with him by saying, “As the head of the research department, I don’t think I have time to slack off and mess around.” 

As I looked into his eyes, I felt that he was conflicted — that he did want to help me furthermore, but there was also this part of him that wanted nothing but to spend a night out and enjoy himself and afterwards proceed with crashing into his bed. He inched closer to me, “You need to take a break though. Your report is like, 90% done, and that it is extremely well-detailed and comprehensive. I’m sure the mighty heroes of the world will understand if you go home now, rest and enjoy for the weekend, and come back on Monday to finish it up.”

“Do you think that these mighty heroes of the world always have the option to take a break on the weekends and come back to the job on Monday?” I sassed back as I moved my attention from him back to my computer, searching for more essential information for the team’s next mission. John, not taking a hint that I had already wasted time by talking to him, scooted closer and said, “Well for one, your work does not involve travelling suspects and mercenaries. You’re computer ain’t going anywhere, you know?” as he brushed a strand of hair that has fallen from my ponytail as he explained, “I just don’t want you to overwork yourself. I really care about you, Y/N.”

Creating some distance between me and him, I looked at him pointedly and told him, “I get that you may be worried about how I overwork myself, but I’m okay. If it ever gets too much, I will take a break. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish this research and report so that I can go home and get some rest. Unless you’ll help me in accomplishing this task, then I suggest that you just leave.”

John looked like he was in disbelief, but he quickly masked up what he felt and just walked away from my desk and awkwardly waved as he headed for the door. “What a bitch..” I heard him mumble lowly, not having enough strength to say it directly in my face — for in doing so could get him fired.

Following John’s departure, I was able to work peacefully and productively. Gathering and verifying information, confirm tipped intelligence, compiling these into an extensive and coherent report. As I was re-reading once more the final product of my long hours of labor and hard work, I stretched my arms up, hoping to provide some relief to my aching back. 

“Mr. Stark would like to ask if he can swing by your office, Ms. Y/n,” the voice of the A.I. startled me briefly, but it somehow also brought me back to my senses. Wanting to look decent and not like I was mere minutes away from passing out, I quickly removed the hair tie from my ponytail, fixing up my hair as I replied to Friday, “Yeah, he can come up.” As I was done attempting to look presentable, it wasn’t even a minute until I heard the office door open and the man himself, Tony Stark, did walk in — wearing a tight dri fit shirt and sweatpants. 

“Good evening Mr. Stark, was there anything I can help you out with?” I watched as he walked around the office, as if he was checking out if everything was in place — as if he had been there before and was making sure that things were the way he once envisioned. He settled down on an office chair, opposite from where I was sitting down.

Putting his chin on his hand as he crossed his legs, he stared at me curiously and intensely as he informed me about his sudden visit, “Was walking around the office wing when Friday informed me that you were the only employee left in the building. So I thought I’d drop by and see as to what was the reason as to why you were still working late and not going about with your weekend plans.”

I let out a sigh I did not know I was holding — probably out of relief that I was not in trouble — before sharing with him the reason, “I was just finishing up the final touches on the researched information for your mission next week.” He looked interested in that and rose to his feet and made his way to where I was sitting. “You mind if I take a look?”

I shook my head no and started to get up from my seat, when he placed his left hand on my shoulder, pulling me down to remain seated. “Stay,” he requested as his right hand operated the mouse in order to inspect the document opened on my computer, “I might have some remarks or questions about what you have researched.”

Beginning to feel a bit of uneasiness, I tried to fill him in about some parts I thought he was confused or curious about — judging by how he spent some time longer on certain pages compared to the others. “You did a good job, Y/N. Without a doubt next week’s mission would have already failed without what you have done.”

Avoiding his look and our close proximity, I shrugged off the compliment by responding, “Um, thank you. But it wasn’t just me, you know? Some other researchers also helped, I merely just organized and arranged it, Mr. Stark.” His hand still on my shoulder moved to turn me so I was facing him, he sat down on my desk and begged to differ, “I don’t think you would have been the overall head of the research department if all you did was compile shit, right?”

Fiddling with my fingers, I halfheartedly agreed with what he said. Looking up, I saw him cross his arms and his face lit up, as if he had remembered something he forgot to mention. “Which reminds me, I do need your help in researching something. Think you can handle it?” I was able to conceal my surprise, what was it he needed help with? And most importantly, why would he tell me about it now? There are procedures if an Avenger needs something to be researched relating to their work. But I could not bring myself to question him, so instead I buried those doubts in the back of my head. 

“T-That would depend, I guess? What is it about? And w-when do you need it to be completed?” I couldn’t help but scold myself for coming out as timid and scared. He uncrossed his arms and checked his wrist watch while he answered, “I need it to be completed tonight. Possibly into the morning. It depends.”

My jaw dropped in shock and astonishment. Does he seriously think that a research can be completed in mere hours? But if I had wanted to keep this job, then I had to comply with what he wanted. “I think that it would be a challenge to do so, but yeah. I guess it can be doable. What would the research be about?” I managed to blurt out and started to roll up the sleeves of my white, long-sleeved blouse and preparing to type on the computer.

However, Tony held my hands and placed it in my lap, preventing me from moving towards the computer and looked at me deeply, “It’s gonna be about you, Y/N.” I once again found myself dumbfounded and speechless. Opening my mouth I stammered out, “W-What? Mr. Stark, what do you mean?” 

He chuckled as he brushed the strands of hair that had covered a portion of my face. One of his hands stroking my cheek while the other had a firm hold on both my hands situated at my lap, he calmly said, “It’s gonna be about you, baby. I wanna get to know you better. Let’s start with me finding out what it is you’re hiding underneath all these clothes, hm?” 

As he guided me onto my feet and pushed me against the office table, his lips grazed my ear and he kissed it lightly and whispered, “I like the way you call me Mr. Stark, makes me feel powerful.” His kisses started to descend, his lips leaving a trail in my neck as his hands started to caress my waist. Snapping out of my frozen state, I somehow managed to speak up and attempt to push him away from me, “Mr. Stark, please don’t do this. Please, stop” 

With one hand, he quickly grabbed both of my hands and placed it behind my back. His other hand wrapped around my throat, just where his lips were and hissed out, “Why do you want me to stop, Y/N? Do you not like this, baby?” I shook my head, telling him I did not in fact like where this was going. He scoffed, “I think you do. You like the idea of someone taking you in your office, the place where you spend most of your days in. Can’t imagine you getting laid frequently with how busy you are, baby.”

Tears were slowly streaming down my face, trying to wiggle away from the hero that everyone adored and respected. He pushed his body into mine, causing me to stumble which he used to his advantage by lifting me up and sitting me down on the desk. His legs wrapping around mine, effectively trapping me, he lifted my jaw and looked into me as he smirked and said, “Tell you what, if I search you up down there and find that you aren’t wet, I’ll let you go. Think that’s fair, baby?”

He did not even wait for me to answer as he made quick work of removing my skirt as he knelt down on the floor. After unzipping my skirt and discarding it to the floor, he chuckled upon seeing that I was wearing red, lace panties. “For someone who claims to not want this, you sure as hell came prepared.” His hands were then fondling my thighs as he kissed both my kneecaps and requested, “Open those legs, baby girl.” I shook my head and tried to cover my intimate area with both my hands. This evidently displeased the billionaire as he harshly placed his hands on my knees and threatened me by saying, “Unless you want to walk away jobless, then I suggest that you fucking open your legs.”

Filled with fear and horror, I reluctantly opened my legs and showed him my lower half. He showed his appreciation by chuckling darkly and immediately ripping off my panties. Just as I gasped with what he did with my piece of clothing, he brought one hand to my entrance and scooped some of the juices that my body was involuntarily producing. “Well what do you know, you’re not just wet. You’re soaking wet,” he bragged as he used his other grab my leg and stretched it out sideways, giving him more room to work with. “Time to start our research on you, baby.”

As he slowly inserted two of his thick fingers, I could not hold back the whimper as he ruthlessly moved his finger in and out of me. “Please, Mr. Stark, don’t do this.” I pleaded, hoping that his conscience would slap him and somehow get him to stop. But shortly after saying that, I let out a moan of pleasure as I felt his tongue lick my bundle of nerves.

“Just stop resisting, baby,” With his mouth still attached to my pussy lips, he used his other hand to fondle my thighs — hoping to rub off the tension within me. I threw my head back as he thrusted his fingers hard and sucked hard enough that I forgot my earlier concerns of how I was at first reluctant in giving in to him. I threaded my fingers into his hair, pushing his face closer, urging him to continue with what he was doing. He complied and proceeded to focus his sucking my little nub while he added another finger inside before managing to go at even a faster pace than he previously was.

“Fuck,” I exclaimed, “I’m close.” Right after saying that, Mr. Stark abruptly stopped his actions. I looked at him, and there he was licking off the residual juices off of his fingers.”Can’t have you finishing just on my fingers, baby. Has to happen with me inside you. But before that,” he stood up and pulled down his sweatpants and briefs, “Show me how talented your hands and mouth are first, baby.”

Before I could even process what he said, my body responded to the words that just left his mouth and I was pushing him away in order to make room for me to work and dropped down on my knees. Despite being of average length, I took note of how he had an incredible girth. With one hand fondling his balls, the other swiped the precum that was leaking out and spread it around the tip. He let out a loud groan as I then opened my mouth and captured his length.

“Yes, that’s a good girl, baby,” he complimented me while stroking my hair and later on gathering it all up in order for him to control the pace and speed of how I was sucking him. I glanced up at him just as I started gagging around his cock and fondling the rest that failed to fit in my mouth. “Do I taste good, baby?” he teased me while probably noticing that I was struggling not only to fit his entire length in my mouth, but also to please him.

A gurgled yes was the only reply that I managed to get out and he suddenly pulled out of my mouth and quickly put me back into my feet. He ripped off the blouse that I was wearing and briskly unclasped my bra. I watched him intently as he sat down on the swivel chair where I spent most of my working hours on and called out for me, “As much as I love how you please me with your mouth, it would be a waste to not cum inside you. So come over here and ride me,” he demanded as he patted his thighs.

I slowly began to walk over him and climbed over his legs. His smirk widened upon seeing me slowly get into position to ride him — with one of my hands holding onto his shoulder and the other one holding his cock up, I sank down onto him fully. The action might have taken the superhero back as both his hands flew into grasping on my hips and he threw his head back in pleasure.

Moving in slow, circular motions I found myself moaning and panting loudly, breathing out words of praise that had stroke the ego of the superhero. He brought his hand to my clit and he rubbed me fast enough that got me to stop riding him because of how intense the pleasure was. Mr. Stark’s dissatisfaction with what I did was made evident by him slapping my ass with enough force to push my chest into his and reprimanding me, “Did I fucking tell you to stop? No! So keep riding me, you fucking whore!”

I let out a whimper as he once again slapped my ass cheek and rubbed me even harder and faster. Placing both my hands near his collarbone, I began to ride him even faster and started to feel the release begging to come out. This pleased him as he stopped his assault on my ass and began to twist and pull on my nipples. The simulation proved to be too much for me that my head fell into the side of his neck and I began to trail kisses on there and suddenly let out a loud scream as I had suddenly reached my climax.

“Fucking hell, you’ve become even more tighter,” Mr. Stark sounded like he too was already on the verge of reaching his climax. Both his hands then met my hips once more and he started to bounce myself on his cock, disregarding that I could have been sensitive, hoping to finish inside of me. “I told you that you wanted this. That you needed to be fucked hard. So much for the “I don’t want this bullshit,” huh baby?” He mocked me as he noticed the stray tears that were falling on my cheeks as I felt that the stimulation was too much.

“I bet I can make you cum again. That by the time I release my load deep inside you, you will also be creaming over yourself.” His overconfidence was once again being made evident and determined to make his statement true, he began to wrap his mouth around my nipple and one of his fingers was shoved right into my asshole. It might have been the sudden intrusion on my backside, or the feeling of his warm tongue on my nipple, or the fact that his cock was being rammed in and out of me at a dangerously quick pace, but I found myself squirting all over both of our legs.

“Fuck, baby, that’s a good girl,” he moaned out as I also felt him release his juices inside of me. He stopped his licking, fingering, and maneuvering of my body as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my head to lay down on his chest. We both took this time in order to calm down and catch our breaths. His one hand was playing with my hair while the other lightly ran up and down my spine. 

With his cock planted still deeply in me, he made me look into his eyes as his hard and demanding tone vanished and instead was replaced with a soft voice accompanied with a gentle look in his eyes as he said, “You did very well in accompanying and complying with my research, baby.”

His praise made me smile and I once again placed my head by his shoulder and briefly closed my eyes — still not having fully recovered from our sexual activity — when what he said caused me once again to be speechless and shocked, “Get ready because in a few minutes I’ll once again be conducting research. But I was thinking about conducting it in a different venue.”

[jojosbabe]

I think i need to update my rules on my blog here.

So here they are.

These are boundaries i need to address and put because i feel like i didn't really make much of a rules post. Plus i feel i need to state these rules and boundaries because i have been having some weirdos on my blogs before and i wanna make sure its safe. Not just for me the admin but also anyone else on my blog.

Please respect the following.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DNI if you are a minor and not allowed or not comfy with nsfw content. I can not stress this enough. All my content is aged up or is for mature audiences

DNI if you are a j*nadio,g*omis,or j*otkak shipper. (Any other ship regardless whether i like it or not is fine,tho im not fond of josuyasu because i genuinely see them as bros and fam so its weird to me they are not problematic so they can stay,so as long as they respect i dont see them as romantic to each other.i dont do avpol but the fans are not problematic for the most part so eh more less not my cup of tea but their fine. But those other ships are not cool with me) we do not do probships here. 🚫 if you even dare ship i*c*st or any of that shit. To the garbage can you go. Get off my blog and never return. AGAIN IF YOU DO PROBSHIPPING. GO AWAY PLZ.

DNI if you are against lgbt rights and the community. No this doesn't mean disagreeing with a ship or hcs,politely disagree and move on. Dont go throwing slurs at me or others because you got pissy with me or my followers hcs. This means actual problematic behavior and homophobia,transphobia,etc. So in other words no TERFS ALLOWED BITCH! NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS. You can disagree with a hc,you do not throw slurs at someone for having said hcs. You absolutely do not have to like my hcs,but you do not throw your homophobic,transphobic,sexist bullshit at me or anyone else karen.

I will not tolerate racism or racist behavior towards him or me or anyone on this blog regardless of their ethnicity or background. You got a problem kyle? Theres the door. We dont do that here. Regardless of what you think or say. I will not tolerate that behavior FROM ANYONE. Thnx. (My irl boyfriend is a a moc and bipoc. So this is especially important for me to say. I shouldn't have to. But i will anyways)

I am only human man,i dont post as often,and i make mistakes. Go easy on me im still growing and learning as much as y'all. Whatever grace,dignity and respect is left on this hellsite. Please keep it. So if i make a mistake,i apologize in advance.

I like some villains in jojos. No i do not condone their actions. I can't believe i have to put this. But still. I do not condone the actions of jojo villains,i do want them to get their ass whooped and learn their lessons. But i love to explore ideas that are dark and not for the faint of heart. Or explore and idea of where they get betterish and have fluffy happy good times. So again if you are squick with this and or are a minor. DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT. Thnx

I do self shipping. Majority of the time. All my shipping is mostly self shipping anymore. So if you dont like that content. Do not follow me.

If you are caught disrespecting me,my followers,or anyone else on this hellsite. I will block,report,and fire the biggest muda and or ora on your ass. So please respect the wildlife here.

I don't do askboxes anymore due to harrassment i got in the past on this site. I also can't for the life of me fix my messages. So i apologize in advance for this.

If i missed anything let me know.

But i think that should cover it and sounds reasonable. But for any reason. If Anyone don't feel comfy here for whatever reason. Politely and please inform me. Maybe i can discuss it with you. If i share anything from someone that is problematic and harmful. Let me know asap, i will remove the post.

And you don't have to follow me for any reason just because im a jojo blog. Follow me because you like the content i make or share. Thank you.

But thank you for your time.

[irwintry]

The Tilt-Shift Effect

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, brief mention of drugs

Author’s Note: i think i spent too much time on this honestly i dont even know how i feel abt it

playlist

Word Count: 6.2k

–– a phenomenon in which your lived experience seems oddly inconsequential once you put it down on paper, which turns an epic tragicomedy into a sequence of figures on a model train set, assembled in their tiny classrooms and workplaces, wandering along their own cautious and well-trodden paths.

Ashton had wealth, but he ate his cereal out of two-dollar plastic bowls from Target. He owned fourteen, specifically, so he could let them pile up in the sink for two weeks before he was forced to accept the grimy challenge of washing dishes. He had the cabinet space to hold up to twenty-one, though he figured that was a bit excessive. His laziness could only be condoned for so long. If he chose to purchase more, he’d be better off hiring a maid.

Sometimes, Ashton took up weird hobbies during his downtime. His works of crochet were hung on the walls of hallways, and his ceramic mugs got their daily use through early morning coffee fixes. Once upon a time, he tried beading, and his old girlfriend received most of the precious pieces. He had to do something other than songwriting or else it would fry his brains out.

He purchased a new pair of winter gloves the other day. He lived in Los Angeles–– he didn’t need a pair of winter gloves, let alone a new one. Ashton wasn’t spending money on pointless things because he was bored of his life. No, he loved his time on tour with friends. He loved sharing moments and memories that would last forever. And then, he would be home again, cooped up in the confines of his expansive home with fourteen plastic bowls and crocheted hallways. Ashton needed his life to be fast-paced, otherwise, he’d start beading again.

A few weeks ago, he considered writing a novel. He purchased a Nalgene, hiked up whatever mountain was closest (while simultaneously sweating enough to fill his new water bottle three times), and jotted down whatever emotions slammed into his head. He was hit with nothing. The destructive instinct of tossing his journal into the deep brush overcame him, and Ashton decided that if he were to write a novel, he’d need to go somewhere a bit more inspirational than the dry mountains overlooking smog city.

He suffered from tinnitus quite often, especially on airplanes or any high altitude above sea level (to be exact). Maybe it was partially due to his career as a drummer, or maybe it wasn’t. Whatever it was, and whatever the reason, he despised the perpetual ache. It ruined any social event or interaction for the two days following, but in this case, it ruined his right to think. After packing for twenty minutes, Ashton sped to the airport, his ear already clogged from the mountain climb earlier that morning. The information desk was his first destination, and then it was wherever from there.

“’m sorry, Ash, but you’re where?”

Ashton took a glance around at the baggage claim area. So, he could take the silver line, get a taxi or a limo, or schedule an app ride to wherever he was going. It was good to know he had options. But what the hell was the silver line?

He chuckled. “I think I took a flight to Boston.”

The other end of the phone call was silent.

Truth be told, Ashton hadn’t meant to fly to Boston. He hadn’t been tremendously picky when it came to choosing the final destination, so he picked a random time off of the top of his head, and whatever flight was scheduled to board then, he’d buy a ticket. Boston it was.

“Why the fuck are you in Boston?” Luke wondered, his sentence ending with a lilt and a laugh.

Calum entered the conversation. “Are you having an emotional breakdown?”

“Did you try beading again?” Michael quipped.

Ashton had to chuckle once more. He wasn’t sure he would ever tire of his friends. “Needed t’get out of LA, mates. To clear my head.”

“So, you chose Boston?” Luke spoke up through laughter again.

“’s not a bad city,” Ashton replied. The loud buzzer by his baggage claim began to sound, and a second or so later, the first suitcase tumbled down. “There’s Cambridge, too. That place can be pretty.”

“I think Ash will make the perfect Bostonian,” said Michael. “He gives off perfect Masshole vibes.”

Ashton snorted. “Thank you, Mike.”

“Anytime.”

Ashton noticed his bag was the fourth to slide down on the conveyer belt. “So, uh, does anyone know what on earth the silver line is?”

-

There are ninety-five to a hundred billion nerve cells in the human body, and right now, Ashton could feel every single one. The safari app on his phone had close to ten tabs open purely to help him understand the train system, but then he ended up freaking out and taking a Lyft instead. He had started to realize his mistake in coming here the moment he finalized everything with his Airbnb in Back Bay (wherever the hell that was). He could vaguely remember a few designated spots him and his mates hit for yoga or brunch when they had been in the city, but they were never here long enough.

The penthouse he was renting lacked activities, but the bathroom was nice. The lighting made his pores stand out a bit more than usual, so that was another downside. Also, he was two inches taller than the showerhead. Otherwise, he loved the place. The roof would be a nice touch if the temperature outside hadn’t frozen his nips off through three layers of clothing. With a sigh, Ashton tossed his belongings to the floor and collapsed onto the couch.

So, he didn’t know why he was here or what he was going to do while he was here. He hardly made it out of the airport alive, and he assumed that, once people knew he was here, walking the streets would be a damn nightmare. Maybe he could give himself cabin fever and write down whatever psychotic thoughts came into his head. That would be an interesting novel.

Ashton didn’t know what he was thinking, but he did know that he needed a fucking beer. And, like all great cities, there were plenty of bars.

However, despite the lovely array of bars, he needed a place that was lowkey. He needed the place three blocks west in its eighteen-table glory. He needed the distance murmur of conversations from old friends and regulars, and he needed that sharp sting of tequila sloshing down his throat. What he didn’t really need, was the live performance taking place in the closet-sized underground bar, but he felt bad that the ten people in there hardly gave a shit.

Ashton listened from a small round table by the wall. He didn’t know why–– maybe it was the alcohol, but the light strum of guitar and angelic singing voice traveled through every ninety-five to a hundred billion nerves in his body. His heart connected to the lyrics, the strings plucking as if it were on the guitar. Maybe this was why he was here.

You had noticed him from the corner of your eye, though your hands only froze for a split moment before you flickered your gaze back to the few men on barstools. This was the exact reason you had to perform with a lyric sheet before you–– unexpected guests like Ashton Irwin would wander in and listen to you sing.

Truth be told, this was your first time performing in front of a big name, and you were somewhat upset you had worked through your headache to be here. It should have been a sign when your guitar took twenty minutes to tune and when two cars almost ran you over on a crosswalk. It should have been a sign when your vanilla latte from Pavement burned your tongue and made you cry.

But here you were, singing lyrics you no longer felt with a shaky voice in front of a man whose eyes were glossed over from the alcohol. At least, that was what you assumed. His thumbs darted to the inside corners of his eyes and rubbed along the water line. You absolutely could not believe it. You had made him cry.

“Uh, thank you,” you said into the mic. Only Ashton was watching you, so truly, you were thanking him. “I’ll be back soon with some happy songs, I promise.”

He cracked a smile.

You had your back turned for under a minute as you put your guitar away, and when you stood to go talk to him, he had already gone.

-

“I’ve tried approximately seventeen coffee shops in the past week, and only four of them sold bagels, and two of those four had comfortable seating,” Ashton explained. With his phone nestled between his shoulder and his ear, he darted around the kitchen, a spatula for his eggs in one hand and a bottle of orange juice (for some reason) in the other.

“And, how many of those places had good coffee?” asked Calum.

Ashton sighed. “Seven.”

“How ya gonna narrow it down, then?”

Once he set down the bottle of juice, Ashton placed his phone on the counter and pressed the speaker button. A buzz of white noise filled the large kitchen. “Well, two of the seven had bagels, and one of those had good coffee, good seating, and bagels. But the problem is, those bagels weren’t that great. So, like...”

“Life really sucks for you,” his friend replied with a quick chuckle.

“And I still haven’t figured out how the fuck to ride the train, so I’ve spent like two hundred dollars on Lyft rides because I can’t walk, and– “

“Are you doin’ okay, mate?” Calum questioned, worry lacing his tone while Ashton struggled with scraping the eggs off of the pan and onto his plate.

He thought for a moment as he turned off the burner. “I’m– ‘m not doing bad. Jus’...” Ashton sighed. “A part o’ me doesn’t wanna leave, but I don’t have any reason to be here.”

There was silence on Calum’s end for a moment as well. Meanwhile, Ashton was pouring his juice. Truth be told, it was close to one in the afternoon, and he was just now having breakfast.

“And like,” he mumbled before letting out a quick huff due to the small juice spillage on the counter, “I feel kinda stupid. Like, I literally hopped on the first flight that caught my eye. I coulda gone to Milwaukee, or I coulda gone to Paris!”

“Boston’s pretty cool,” replied Calum.

Ashton shrugged to himself. “There was this really good singer at this bar the other day. Thought she was cute n’ all.”

“Did you get her number?”

“No,” he said. “I– I left pretty quickly. Dunno. I panicked. I haven’t been back since.”

“Why?”

“Dunno.”

“You should go back.”

Ashton’s brows knotted together. “Y’think?”

Calum let out a laugh. “You’re acting like a fourteen-year-old.”

Ashton sighed.

“Yeah, go back,” his friend continued. “Why not? If she’s not there, try one more time. And if she’s not there again, go to fuckin’ Belize. Ash, ya flew to Boston on a whim. You’re feelin’ burnt out–– you want to write a fuckin’ novel for Christ’s sake, mate! Maybe it’s all a path that leads to her. I mean, ya never know if you don’t try.”

Ashton nodded as he poked and prodded at his peppered eggs with a fork. They had cooled significantly now, and his hunger was only growing stronger. “I’m supposed t’be the wise one. ‘m older.”

In response, Calum snorted and uttered out a meek “yeah, right.”

“I’ll– I’ll go back tonight.”

And, Ashton did. His stomach twisted tightly as his long legs took him in quick strides across bridges and down busy streets. He kept his head down the entire time, his thin sweatshirt hood loose against his untamed hair (he hadn’t thought to put in the energy). The cold bit, and he figured he would have to invest in a nice winter coat from some store down Newbury. He heard it had a lot of nice stores.

The bar was quiet again, the same few guys still situated on their stools as if they hadn’t left in six days. He paid for a beer – didn’t matter what kind – and stalked towards the same table he had sat at before. Everything was the same, but you weren’t there, and he assumed you wouldn’t be. For a second, he hoped he had gotten the time all wrong, or maybe he had imagined the whole thing. Moments later, his beer had gone down a few centimeters, and you were rushing down the stairs with your guitar case on your back and a music stand in your hand.

“Sorry, sorry Stewart!” you yelped after banging the shoulder of one of the men at the bar.

“Jesus, Y/N, you don’t have t’rush,” he joked, but you continued on hurrying to get your things set up. “We’ll be here all night.”

You huffed. “Well, how ya gonna have an enjoyable night without me?”

Someone else chuckled. “I’ll drink to that.”

So could Ashton. His heart rate had tripled since you raced in wearing your cute bee socks. He hoped the flush of your skin meant more than the freezing temperatures outside, but he wasn’t entirely confident you had noticed him sitting there until you were situated on your stool.

“You missed out on the happy songs,” you said as you – to his surprise – gazed over at him. “That’s okay. I’ve got a few more in store.”

Ashton didn’t cry often when it came to happy songs–– he truly thought his reactions to music were pretty conventional. Somehow, you were able to evoke more emotion than he even knew he had. His beer had more tears in it than alcohol by the end of your set. He wondered why no one had discovered you yet, but then again, you fit perfectly in the position you were in: playing for only him to listen.

He wanted to do what Calum suggested. He wanted to talk to you and personally get your name without having to know it because he overheard it from Stewart. For some reason, every ounce of confidence that Ashton had spent years developing in the music industry stood no chance in comparison to you. He darted as soon as you smiled his way.

-

Ashton had burned through four bottles of Naked juice by the next evening. It was his compensation for hardly having a thing to drink at the bar simply because his brain chose to be infatuated with you for that short amount of time. Also, he bent the shower head by accident, and he almost locked himself on the roof last night when exploring.

In the morning, he had briefly forgotten where he was. There were ten texts from friends awaiting him as he fumbled with the coffee machine in the kitchen, and most of them had something to do with him flying across the country to a city that hardly mattered a thing to him. Ashton chose not to answer any of them. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation for his decisions; however, he felt as though he owed you his ears. You deserved to have someone who cared about your music.

You, on the other hand, had been hoping and praying that the previous night would run smoothly. Ashton had no reason to show again, and you assumed he had only been in town briefly. And then, he hid in the corner once more, eyes trained hard on you as the tears threatened to spill. You had to blink a few times to make sure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you. This man played arenas holding thousands all across the world. You played for your roommates and middle-aged drunkards in a bar with a maximum capacity of thirty. He should not have been there.

Though the nerves were still there as you played through John Denver covers and original songs that would only see the inside of the bar, it was nice to have someone new listen in. It was numbing to only play for Richard, Frank, Steve, and Stewart. Now there was Ashton, the famous drummer who somehow found his way to Boston and somehow wandered into the same bar you played at a few times a week. Had someone filmed you and posted it online? Was he here pretending to be a talent scout?

You needed to know. But Ashton was good. In that same minute you were putting away your guitar, he slipped out again.

So, you figured he wouldn’t show anymore. Nobody of great importance stayed in Boston long enough. And then, he did show. For the third time in a row, Ashton was giving you his full attention, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. He showed a fourth time, and then a fifth. A whole two weeks had passed, and he was still showing up.

By this point, you convinced yourself that it was a-look-alike.

Ashton, meanwhile, was convinced that you were the reason he was here in the first place. He didn’t know if it was the cute giggle that escaped your lips when you slipped up on the chords, or the crinkles by your eyes once you let yourself get lost completely in a song. Or, maybe it was the precious pout you wore when there were mic difficulties.

It was possible he had become a bit too hooked.

“What even is there to do in Boston?” asked Luke while Ashton was busy avoiding ducks and squirrels by the edge of the pond. A part of him considered dropping his phone into the shallow waters, but his friends needed to know that he was doing okay.

“Uhh,” Ashton glanced around, the dead leaves and bundled-up strangers catching his eye. Truly, he should have picked Italy or something. “Ride a train. Eat food. Yell at cars.”

Someone cackled on the other end of the call. “You make me sad.” It was Michael.

“I’m fine,” the dirty-blond answered, “truly. It’s about Christmas time, so the lights are really nice. Depends on where ya go but things are like, kinda calm here. And, there’s this bar– “

“Jesus, Ash, have you even talked to her?” asked Calum.

“Well, no, but– “

“Her?” It was Michael again.

Ashton frowned. “Well there’s– uh, there’s this– “ He kicked at a few stones and watched them tumble into the water. “Girl.”

A chorus of ooo’s and laughter filled the receiver before Luke spoke up and said, “All right, Ash, buddy. What’s she like? Satisfyin’?”

“I-I haven’t even talked to her yet.”

And then, there was a moment of silence.

“She plays at this bar,” Ashton continued, “a few times a week. And, fuck, she’s like if Sara Bareilles and Phoebe Bridgers had a baby or somethin’. ‘m probably the only person in that joint who gives a flyin’ fuck about her. She’s so beautiful.”

“Well shit, Ash,” Michael interjected, “what’re you waitin’ for?”

“That’s what I told him!” Calum shouted.

Ashton didn’t know. He didn’t know after the phone call ended, and he still didn’t know on his walk back home. He thought about you too much to not give this a chance.

At home, he thought about you while making dinner or shaving his beard. He thought about you when coming up with strategic ways to get around the city without being seen. He thought about you once he finally figured out how the train system worked. No matter what, he thought about you, the cute girl who sang her heart out for people who only talked over her.

He wondered if you thought about him, too. There was no possible way you hadn’t noticed his presence–– you locked eyes too many times and it made his heart flop every damn time.

Ashton would spend the walk over to the bar thinking about what sweater you would wear that night. Would it be blue or red? Would it fit perfectly or leave enough room for another human to cuddle underneath? You took your shoes off when performing, so he began to think about what socks you would wear, too. The blue ones with cats? The frilly white ones? The rainbow ones with dinosaurs? His smile grew wide as he climbed down the stairs to the small bar.

Tonight was the night he would talk to you he decided. He couldn’t fall into the habit of coming and going, especially when he truly wanted to talk to you. Somehow, those billions of nerves held him back.

Ashton sat at a table closer to the tiny stage. You were in the middle of a song when your eyes glanced down to his figure, and he swore you could see his cheeks burning hotter than the neon sign beside his head.

“Hey stranger,” you said after the song had ended, and you sent a wink his way. “This next one is dedicated to you.”

His mouth fell open, but he quickly covered up the expression with a long sip of his beer. It was like you knew how to win him over. A few chuckles sounded the bar from behind him, but he couldn’t take it upon himself to care as your nimble fingers strummed a melody that felt like pure honey in his ears. Your voice was what made it sweet.

It was possible the small bit of alcohol that made the fuzz in head travel down his spine. The bubbling in his chest was an artist, for the smile it etched on his face was unlike no other he had felt. Ashton couldn’t imagine the sensation of actually speaking to you face-to-face.

“Thank you to my– my number one fan,” you mumbled shyly with the prettiest smile that could send anyone into a euphoric state. Your eyes were gentle as they peered down at him, and he swore his heart had taken a flight to Milan by now.

You turned around to pack your things, and Ashton had to restrain himself from fleeing like he typically did every time. Usually, he was better at this. He could talk to anyone back home without a single ounce of anxiety, but now, his feet did most of the talking. So, he imagined that he was stuck butt-first in cement and stayed still.

He didn’t know that you would nearly drop everything when you turned to see him there. Ashton fought free of his invisible restraints so he could rush over and help gather your lyric sheets, but he didn’t know he would be so shaky doing so. He hadn’t been this nervous since the first ever performance with his band.

“S-shit, thanks– thank you,” you sputtered, clearly flustered from the accidental mishap. You began to lightly laugh at yourself as you crouched down, and he admired that. “’m a bit clumsy.”

“Is that your name?” he asked and cracked a smile. “A bit clumsy?”

Maybe you had blushed, maybe you hadn’t. Or, maybe it was the few lights shining directly on the two of you from above the small stage. “Uh, n-no. ‘s Y/N.”

He smiled and nodded, reaching out his free hand to shake your own free hand. He knew your hands would be soft despite the guitar callouses, but he hadn’t realized how badly he wouldn’t want to let go. “Ashton.”

“Yeah,” you replied hazily, then your eyes widened before you rose to your feet. He followed suit as you stuttered out, “I-I mean yeah, I– shoot. I mean I know who you are, it’s just– “

“Y’okay?” He grinned. So, he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. That was good.

You nodded. “I’m– I’m great. Just confused.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well...” You shrugged and placed the sheets of music back onto the music stand. “You-you're not exactly a Boston native. And, you keep comin’ to this bar.”

“Cos’ you’re talented.”

“And– wait, what?”

Ashton’s smile grew. You truly did have more confidence on stage than you did in person; it just meant you were destined to perform. “I keep comin’ back to hear you. I like your stuff. I like your voice.”

You gazed up at him, cheeks hot, and you were desperate to get out of the harsh lighting you had been sitting in for close to a half hour. Behind him, the folks at the bar were chatting and gazing back occasionally at the two of you. “You’re... wow.”

“You’re really good.”

“Th-thank you,” you replied, “so much.” The smile had yet to escape you, and it was possible that it had grown larger. “Um, so why-why are you in Boston? Of all places?”

It hadn’t occurred to him that you would ask that question. Surprisingly, in the past two weeks, no one had. He went a few days without getting recognized altogether, but he knew he’d have to answer questions at some point. But, for now, he shrugged. He didn’t know the answer. “Spontaneous adventure.”

You chuckled. “To Boston...”

He laughed a little, too. “Yeah, to Boston.”

-

The simple question of “can I walk you home?” could only go so far. Ashton hadn’t insinuated anything, and you didn’t think he had either. But if both of you were honest, you didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. So, you told him to “hold tight” as you raced up to your apartment to drop your things off. He was in the same spot where you had left him, hands deep in the pocket of his pretty-penny coat that had a hood the size of Canada.

“Y’sure you don’t have plans?” he asked you, letting out a puff of air through the frigid night. Ashton didn’t mind the cold as long as he spent it with someone to preoccupy his thoughts. You were well-qualified for that–– he couldn’t think of anything else but you and the way the lights in the trees reflected in your eyes.

“It’s eight-thirty on a Thursday night,” you said. “Normally, I’d be in bed by now.”

Ashton let out a chuckle, and he couldn’t believe that he could have had this last week. You admitted that you had been hoping he’d stick around after all this time, and ever since that moment, he tried not to mental curse himself.

“Walk fast,” you muttered to him. “My favorite coffee shop closes in an hour and a half.”

You were taking him through parks and vacant neighborhood streets, and he was grateful. These were shortcuts he hadn’t thought to take himself. Besides, he’d rather enjoy them with you anyway. You hopped off of curbs, kicked stones in your path, and jogged across large fields whenever the two of you came upon one. He had never met anyone who found such joy in the little things, and he loved that about you. The night was cold, but you were happy.

Were you happy because you were with him?

Ashton tried to enjoy it as much as you (well, he did enjoy himself, but he preferred watching you enjoy yourself–– it meant more to him anyway). Watching the way your eyes lit up as a few snow flurries fell from the sky was enough to keep his mood steady for the next few months.

“If we get coffee fast,” you said, “we could go to the MFA. I mean, like, you would have to pay unfortunately because I get in for free, but– “

“The MFA?” Ashton asked you as the two of you turned a corner. Before he realized, you were walking up a few steps and opening the door to the coffee shop you told him about.

“Museum of Fine Arts!” you exclaimed before greeting the baristas in the small establishment. “Can I get a small caramel latte with almond milk and a molasses cookie, please? Both to-go”

He grinned, still watching you intently as if you were made of pure gold. Everything you said was drenched in it. Ashton didn’t know how to not fall for you. He pulled out his wallet before you could and handed the person at the register his credit card as he said, “small cider for me, please. Also to-go.”

“Excuse you,” you gasped, and then you pouted, and Ashton thought he was going to lose his shit. Either that or his cheeks would fall off from smiling so much.

“You worked hard tonight,” he said. “You deserve it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Dummy.”

Ashton liked the fact that the two of you spoke to each other as if you had been friends all along. It felt natural, and that only made him more nervous. If it felt natural after only knowing you for a few hours, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel later on.

“Want some?” you asked, holding up the molasses cookie as you both began in the direction you came from. “It’ll change your life.”

“Uh, sure,” he replied, pulling off a bit of the cookie before placing it on his tongue. Ashton had never been a huge fan of molasses, but he didn’t mind it all that much. Nevertheless, he nearly moaned at the taste just to please you. “That’s crack,” he joked before taking a sip of his cooling cider. “MFA time?”

“You wanna go?” you asked with a small gasp. “You still wanna spend time with me? I’m shocked.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think tha’s a crime. You’re talented and fun to be around.”

“Half of the world is jealous of me,” you said.

“Yeah, well,” he sighed, “luckily, half of the world doesn’t know about you yet. Once they do...” Ashton didn’t want to think about you becoming overwhelmed with personalities and fans. He liked you here. He liked you now. And then, he realized he said yet. But you didn’t notice.

“I can only imagine,” you huffed through a mouthful of cookie. “Dunno how you’re able to get around here without strangers proddin’ into your life.”

“Ah, I’ve recently developed ninja skills,” he said. “And, I’m also Spider-Man, so I can jump from building to building. Oh, and I’m a mermaid, too so I can swim across the Charles if I need.”

You winced, and you even made an euughhh sound before saying, “I wouldn’t even stick a toe in the Charles if you dared me for a million dollars.”

Ashton felt his laughter deep in his chest, and he hadn’t expected it to echo as the two of you prepared to cross the giant field once again. And when you danced your way across the turf, he gladly held your belongings so he could slowly catch up to you. He was amazed that you felt no sense of embarrassment, but that made him even happier. It just meant that you were comfortable around him.

He didn’t mind paying for his ticket whatsoever–– he would spend all of the money in his bank account if it meant never leaving your side. You showed him all of your favorite pieces, like Dance at Bougival by the artist Pierre-Auguste Renoir (who, according to you, was definitely one of the best Impressionist painters), and you took him down to the Ansel Adams exhibit. That was his favorite part in particular; it was the kind of photography he wished he could create.

Most of all, Ashton didn’t mind standing back and admiring you from afar as your eyes scanned the wide canvases before you. He wanted you as close as possible, but he could appreciate your beauty in full this way.

“Do you smell potatoes?” you wondered aloud at one point, and truly, he did smell potatoes. The smell hit both of you before the sounds of whatever event was being held did. Soon after, you could hardly hear your thoughts over the band and loud chatter. “C’mon,” you said, taking his hand and pulling him down a large hall, “I wanna see if we can crash.”

Your hand was in his. Your hand was in his, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Your smile grew as you followed the blaring music into a great big hall. There were servers and chefs darting behind dividers, and from the middle of the room, you could see down into where the event took place. People were dressed to the nines as the band in the distance played a song he recognized from Notting Hill.

“Art installation,” you gasped, tugging on his hand. Meanwhile, he was trying to figure out a way to intertwine your fingers with his. “Do you think I could get them to let me in by wooing them with my magical voice?” you joked, giggling as your entire face lit up with laughter.

Ashton nodded. “You could woo them with your smile, darlin’,” he replied. The next moment, he managed to wedge his fingers in between yours, and you didn’t even think twice about it. Your eyes sparkled while you tried to sneak up further to catch a better glimpse at what was happening.

“Well, you could woo them with your smile... darlin’,” you said, shooting him a wink.

Ashton finally decided that Boston hadn’t been a bad idea after all.

-

“I’m not tired,” you replied despite yawning midsentence. “Promise. It’s only– “ You checked your phone. “It’s only two in the mornin’.”

“Bedtime for me, sweetheart,” Ashton chuckled. “But believe me, I don’t want this night to end either.”

You sighed, wrapped your arm around his as you rested your head on his bicep. Ashton felt the need to thank you for this. He felt warm around you, and not just because you were leaning into him. He had developed feelings for the idea of you during the past two weeks of witnessing your lovely performances, but tonight, he had developed feelings for the actual you. It was quite possible that you had as well.

“Where ya stayin’?” you mumbled against him.

“I have an Airbnb on the next street over from here,” he responded as he glanced down at your tired self all cuddled against him. It made his heart got berserk. “But ‘m gonna walk you back to your place.”

“You don’t have t’do that,” you said.

Ashton shrugged lightly. “I want to.”

You sighed again, letting your head fall back against him as he pulled you closer (if that were even possible). The two of you walked in comfortable, sleepy silence down a few more blocks and over avenues. At one point, he swore you had fallen asleep, yet your feet were still walking as normal with him blindly guiding you along. He didn’t recognize where he was whatsoever, though, within a few minutes, the two of you reached your destination.

“Hm, we’re here,” you mumbled, blinking rapidly before rubbing your eyes.

“So we are,” he said, mostly to himself as his brain sped through countless options as to what he should do next. Would he ask for your number? Would he tell you he’d see you again soon? Ashton didn’t know what to do, but the moment you stepped closer to him, he knew he needed to pull you in for a hug. He needed your warmth, and you gladly accepted his. And when you began to pull away, you stood high on your toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“See you tonight?” you asked, a lazy smile forming on your features as you slowly backed up towards the front door to the building.

He grinned, grazing his cheek with his fingers as he muttered out a satisfied, “see you tonight.”

-

Ashton started his novel the next afternoon, the words finally hitting his brain in just the right places as they found their home on an empty word document. He wrote and wrote, his fingers hardly feeling the repercussions of the endless typing, and before he knew it, it was time to see you again. A part of him wanted you here with him as he wrote–– maybe you were the inspiration he needed all along.

And when he walked into that bar he now knew all too well, you were already there to greet him with a smile so big, any satellite in space could see it. Ashton knew he would be head-over-heels from the get-go; however, he hadn’t expected to fantasize about stupid things like taking road trips or late-night kisses. They weren’t stupid per se, though they weren’t his typical fantasies. Sure, he had a hard time showering without thinking of you, but that made him feel guilty. He could bite his fist and pull his hair all he wanted, and he’d still wonder about how you liked your eggs or what your favorite color was.

He took you out to eat afterward, both to congratulate you on another fabulous performance and to make it known that this did, in fact, count as a date. He had even let the word slip out once or twice, hopeful enough that you would catch on and not feel uncomfortable. You made it clear that you were enjoying yourself nevertheless. You wouldn’t be playing sugar packet Jenga with him otherwise (at least, that was what he assumed).

An hour or so later, he was walking you home again. Instead of you reaching up to kiss his cheek, he bent down to kiss your lips, and the world felt okay once again.

[theaetherwitch]

Ethics in Magick: A Gray Understanding

- from my grimoire

An Important Thing to Note

As preface to this article, i would like to say these are simply my own opinions. These opinions are based off my own experiences, and things that I have learned throughout the years. This article is meant to be thought provoking and informative, which can make it lean on the more controversial side. Morality and ethics are very complicated and very touchy. There are many ways to view the world around you and this is simply how I personally view things. Don’t ever feel like this is exactly how things are or how they are going to be, because it’s not. Gray doesn’t come in just one shade, it comes in many.

Everyone views the world around them differently, so take this article with a grain of salt.

Things are More Then They Seem

When talking about ethics in magick, it can be easy to see things in a very black and white manner, ie: good is good, and evil is evil. This is why we see terms like “White Witch” or “Black Magick”. At some point during the long history of The Craft, someone felt the need to draw a thick line between positive and negative aspects. If something is one way, then it must inherently have an opposite. The sun and moon, masculine and feminine, light and dark, black and white, yin and yang. These are all things that have a counterbalance with each other. But as time passes and ideals change, these aspects begin to meld to create something entirely different. The color gray, or as my covenmates like to say “Androgynous Energy”. Energy that is nothing and everything all at the same time. It is not good nor is it evil, it exists in a completely neutral state. And that’s where we’ll begin.

Evil Good, and Good Evil

I’d like to really delve into this topic by saying, yes. There are good things in the world, and there are evil things in the world. No denying that at all, but for the majority of things, theres much more to it. A good example would be someone who shoplifts. On the surface, this is a crime and seen as wrong, and I don’t disagree with that, but take into consideration other things as well. Does this person have food, clothing, and shelter readily available to them? Do they have mouths to feed? Can they afford to support themselves? In some cases, no they don’t, and the only way they can keep themselves or the people around them alive is by stealing. This is still very much a crime, and I don’t condone it, but for some people its all they can do.

You can look at magick much the same. Take hexes for example, something that specifically meant to harm another person. But have you even considered why people hex? Sometimes there is someone or something in your life thats toxic, abusive, and just down right nasty to you and you need to find a way to cut it out or make it understand the error of its ways. That’s where a hex comes in, and why they’re not evil by nature. Sometimes harm is necessary for your own, or another persons well being.

On the other side of that coin are regular spells. Something that is usually used for something positive, but even that has gray areas. Lets say someone casts a wealth spell. Are they doing it because they truly need money coming their way, or are they doing it for greedy and more materialistic reasons? These are questions that you must always ask before jumping to conclusions about someones actions. You never really know what someones intent is, unless they explicitly tell you. Good can very much be evil, just as evil can totally be good.

Think about this scenario. You’re a refugee in a warzone and you have a group of people with you, and you’re hiding and trying to escape death or capture. One of the members of your group is a baby and it begins to cry. Do you cover the babies mouth and risk suffocating the baby, or do you let the baby cry and risk the whole group being found and captured or killed?

What would you do in a situation like that? It’s complicated right? That’s what happens with morality in general. Things can get very convoluted and very hard to understand, that’s why looking at things from someone else’s perspective is very important. Nothing is black, just as nothing is white, there is always going to be more to a situation then just what you see on the surface.

Black Magick vs. White Magick

Personally, I do not like these terms. They make people think that these are the only ways to practice their craft, and gives a very limited view. It can scare someone away from magick, and that's the opposite effect we want. The craft has already almost died before, we want it to grow and prosper and that requires people who practice, but that's besides the point. There is no inherant good or bad magick, there are only good and bad intentions of the practitioner.

Think of fire. In the wrong hands, fire can devistate not just a home, but an entire neighborhood or even city. But in the right hands, it completely changed how people grew and evolved. But just because fire can cause harm, does that make fire bad? No. What can make fire bad is someone who is handling it without proper knowledge of how to use it. Magick, like fire, is a tool, and it's up to the person using the tool to use it properly

Ethical Hexing: A Summary

Hexing, while commonly seen as a negative thing can very easily be turned on its head to become something positive. Honestly, Im going to make an entire seperate article on this, but I can give a really good example of how a hex can be positive. And I want you to think about this one and when/if you decide to perform a hex.

One of my covenmates has a hex that he will use if someone has done something majorly wrong to either him or a friend (things like abuse, assault, or manipulation and lying). "May they see the error of their ways" is the name of the hex. Yes, it is still entirely meant to cause harm, but that is only a short term effect. Someone realizing they've done something wrong can be a hard pill to swallow and open up alot of regrets in a persons mind, but in tern that gives them the chance to fix what they've done wrong and start becoming a better person. This hex can help turn someones life around.

If you're going to hex someone, think about how you're going to word it and think about what your true intentions are. Pick your words carefully and really think about how you want it to affect this person. Remember the wise words of the wendigo "The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave". Things that go around have a tendency to come back around, so when hexing someone make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, and not to just hurt someone for the hell of it.

And when it comes to hexing, I see nothing wrong with it in the long run. Negative emotions are something that everyone deals with, everyone. And sometimes you need to find a way to express these emotions, especially if there is a particular person who has caused them. Hexing, in the right context, can help you release this pent up emotion and keep you from exploding. Magick doesn't always have to be unicorns and rainbows.

Ethics of Love Spells

This is another place where magick can very much become gray. Love spells are something that I see plently of people on Tumblr practicing and honestly, my responce to that is a positive one, because I haven't seen (so far at least) anyone trying to force a particular person to love them. And thats very important when it comes to any matters in love. When making a love spell, don't try to force a specific person to bend to your will because it has very high chance of failing completely and blowing up in your face. Love spells work best when they're as vague as possible because that gives the universe the chance to bring someone to you that you actually belong with instead of just someone you think you belong with.

If you're making a love spell at a particular person, try to consider that persons feelings too, and put yourself in their shoes. Would you want someone creepily trying to force you to love them? Probably not. Other peoples feelings are just as important as your own. This brings me to my last topic.

Consent

Like in the physical world, consent in spiritual matters is just as important. Someones spiritual life and being are sacred to them, and unless they tell you it's okay to start meddling. DONT. Never try to perform any sort of healing or psychic surgery on someone unless they have given you explicit permission, because you could seriously hurt someone in the process. Whether that was your intention or not, it can happen. The spiritual and physical body are heavily connected, and when one is messed up, so is the other. Always, always, always get someones permission if you're doing anything to them other than just sending general positive vibes.

And that's about it! I hope this article made some of you think and that it helps expand your world view a little bit. If anyone has any sort of questions, please feel free to ask.