#no i do not support rpf especially of

[horror-aesthete]

Lords of Chaos, 2018, dir. Jonas Åkerlund

[freckliedan]

i'm sorry but if you've only been a phannie since the reniassance you really have no right to be criticizing dan gender posters.

i don't think anyone who got here post revival understands the distinction between "fans crossing the line" vs "fans listening to what dan and phil tell us even before announcing things explicitly and celebrating that". and the way people act like they need to defend dan from people who think he could be trans makes that abundantly clear.

dan especially has been so open about how this community's support is what made it possible for him to accept himself and come out, and that wasn't support that magically appeared the second BIG dropped. it didn't exist only after we got told officially.

the community support of dan and phil's queerness was the way people noticed and celebrated and understood the way they increasingly chose to be vulnerable with us over the years, and the way we shared how they made us feel safe in our identities.

they came out a million little ways before they said the words, but dan did especially: wearing nail polish, going curly, an earring in the gay ear, liking tweets that said he was gay, making increasing gay jokes. the winter before they both came out they tweeted about the bbc calling them a couple and didn't correct it. dan TOLD us in march of 2018 that he had a video planned for june that was relevant to the month but not because of his birthday.

they do the telling us with their actions before announcing it in so many other contexts too: moving, announcing tours, etc.

if you trust in and pay attention to their consistant patterns of behavior it's hard to be surprised by dan and phil.

so why is it that this one fucking thing—dan's gender—is not allowed to be posted about in the same way as everything else? those of us who do take so much care in what we say, too, if we ever do anything other than post jokingly. both for dan's sake (nobody forgets this is a public forum) and because the transphobic backlash is constant.

dan has been saying he sometimes wishes he was a girl since manchester. talking about gender since 2009. the gender conversation has been constant as long as dan's been online and we know it's been a constant since early childhood too.

dan said after BIG dropped in 2019 that he considered coming out in 2014 but then started thinking about gender and needed more time to figure it out. and you know how that ended? he did NOT say "i came out because i figured it out". it ended with dan saying that thinking about gender culminated in realizing it's okay to come out and change your mind. that you can be a formless blob. (quote)

and then sister daniel happened, and dan has been increasingly openly talking about questioning gender ever since. and hey: dan and phil commented on the possibility of a gender video from dan during dan's bday livestream. doesn't that sound familiar.

this isn't different from when dan and phil claimed heterosexuality and then were openly not in the lead up to coming out. this pattern of behavior is the same, and the way people are posting is the same, and i've never fucking once seen a dan gender poster cross the line the way people used to.

it's just a different subject.

would the people who get pissed at dan gender posters have been doing the same thing to people who thought dnp were queer before they came out? did you not realize what an rpf community is like because you got here after the fact, or are you being transphobic hypocrites?

why is the possibility of transness something dan needs to be defended from, anyways? it's a compliment and we know dan takes it that way.

figure your shit out. i'm sick of it, especially coming from other trans people. i've had so fucking many trans mutuals bullied off this website and out of this space for openly talking about the possibility that dan might not be cis over the years, and when the same transphobic talking points come from a trans sibling's mouth? it disgusts me.

you don't have to like it or agree with it or engage with it. but can you PLEASE stop acting like you have a moral high ground and are doing something beneficial to dan that he'd thank you for? just fucking block and blacklist and move on.

and know that if dan someday turns out not to be cis, you're gonna have to live with the knowledge that you made things harder for him.

us dan gender posters? we all know we might be wrong and we've had to think about whether we're happy with our actions if that's the case. and i know damn well we'll all be celebrating dan's gender nonconformity just as much for the rest of time if dan remains cis.

we're under constant scruitiny so we've had to self reflect. but i really don't think any of you have. think about your underlying biases. consider the impact a vehement defense of cisness would have on dan if he isn't. and please, for the love of god, let that impact your actions.

[ratatatastic]

"—played out west, never made the playoffs, nobody knew who he was!"

"Yeah! And that was Connor McDavid for a while—obviously, this year was huge for them because they made it to the finals—"

"—and we're referencing Mike Trout."

"We're referencing Mike Trout—but, I feel like similar guys also in neither really seek the national spotlight."

"And that's fine!"

"But just like Trout had Bryce Harper...I think Matthew Tkachuk can be Bryce Harper!"

"I think absolutely—"

"The guy that wins a bit more, is on the more competitive team, and is the personality... we always tie back to baseball."

"We're tying it back and on that note I have a feeling Bryce and his club are gonna win one of these things at some point in the next few years..."

"I also gotta feeling if you threw em in a bar together, Bryce Harper and Matthew Tkachuk will become best friends in like 3 minutes..."

"I can see that!"

"I can see it."

"I can see them having some commonalities maybe Bryce will give him a cool headband and Matthew will give him a mouthguard, and off you go!"

"There you go! Worlds collide."

"—a bond built forever."

Territory Talk | 8.1.24 (x)

yes yes!!! give me another reason to baseball my hockey!!!

speaking of brycey headbands here are my favourites from the phils era <3 the recent wawa headband, the phanatics, the bi phillies and the showman

i think matthew and those curls would look so good in a headband but doing that im afraid he will not be able to beat those danny jansen look-alike allegations at that point (good timing too at least jansen isnt in toronto anymore and is a boston boy now so its okay now its not an insult anymore anything to support your dads team lmaoo)

and if we wanna hockey your baseball we can do that too!

bryceys a vegas boy since its his hometown!! and there have been multiple instances where hes worn gold in support of vegas whether in cleats, bat knobs, etc! (fascinatingly enough he was a caps fan at first since vegas didnt get their expansion team yet and since he was drafted by the nats but once vegas got their team he instantly switched over and became a big fan!!! yes his loyalties were very crossed in the 2018 scf and hes talked about it XD) and yes hes also done the playoff beard despite the fact he was currently playing baseball at the time so it was very funny watching him have a grizzled beard in fucking may of all months and also during the offseason he drop the puck at washington @ vegas game ofc

(also its very funny because in 2023 he was caught watching the scf in the dugout between innings while wearing gold decorated cleats to support vegas in the scf and while i cant find any tweets about it now i remember it very vividly when it happened because i was so distraught to see him root against the cats lmaoo i know another phil was watching it with him but i cant remember it mightve been stotty but take that with a grain of salt; now thinking about it, it was absolutely stotty hes a vegas boy too hes the only other guy in the dugout whod be rooting for the vgk too)

and yes we are 1 step removed from matthew and brycey meeting because of the kelce brothers and yes it is very wild to me i havent stopped thinking about it...soon...soon worlds will collide and i will never shut up about it...

STOP WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT BRYCE HARPER AND MATTHEW TKACHUK TOGETHER HOW THEYD BE BEST FRIENDS IF THEY MET PLEASE THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEALTH STOP IT

[fansblogs]

fan is a narcissist. isn’t it wonderful.

Fan and NPD: The ultimate masterpost. Or something.

Hello! First time posting something this long, so forgive me for any possible inconveniences. The purpose of this post is to explain the grounds of my headcanon and correlate this disorder to Fan, whom I believe showcases it spectacularly, as well as educating on NPD along the way. This does not mean that Fan having NPD is “canon” by any account, but he most certainly displays traits of it, and it’s something I personally believe he has!

Disclaimer that this post is being made by a questioning narcissist. If you associate NPD with abuse, demonize narcissists or so on, please block me. Disorders do not make anybody inherently evil!

..in the making of this, I forgot that tumblr had video limits. To overcome this, I’ve linked most of the scenes I’ve been using for reference when making this post! There’s plenty of times where I start to describe certain scenes, so make sure to click on the link to avoid confusion. Sorry for the inconvenience!

If this format is too cluttered and/or confusing; here’s also the Twitter version of this post.

Lastly, if any PWNPD have things they want to note or add, go ahead!

tags: @moonlightcanyon @box-of-lemon-nys

All of this information is taken straight from the DSM-5. I don’t support nor endorse the ableist view of NPD shown in the DSM, but for the sake of simplicity I’ll be referring to it, as it’s the official diagnostic criteria.

As per the DSM, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is defined as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.”

Fan displays all of these traits outstandingly overtly, yet in such a way most people wouldn’t recognize as narcissism. Starting with the first;

“Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).”

This has been pertinent since his appearance in S2. In fact, the first line he even speaks in the season is a proclamation of his believed superiority. Fan has based his identity on being the BEST, the #1 fan of Inanimate Insanity. 

Though there’s way too many examples of his grandiosity to compile completely, one of my favorites is this theory shown in EP 7, which perfectly displays these behaviors.

He’s confident that his theory is right, that each team will always win twice in a row. Though he provides proof, he notes “Not like you need it, right?”, showing that he believes his word is more than enough to prove something correct. Last but not least, his favorite episode (at the time) was Episode 3, the one where HE won the challenge for his team.

Again, just for the sake of simplicity, i’m picking and choosing scenes so I don’t have to note down every single time he displays this symptom.. but please keep in mind that this is a VERY obvious trait he shows almost constantly.

Though this side note isn’t really intended to be “evidence”, it feels relevant to mention that later in the series, Episode 14 becomes his favorite Episode, yet again another episode focused on his growth and accomplishments. 

Another thing important to mention here is that narcissists are SEVERELY sensitive to criticism, which we see multiple times with Fan. Episode 2 of Invitational illustrates this very well with Fan’s reactions to both Cabby’s files and her own spoken criticism of him, even refuting it by blatantly denying his negative behaviors and defending his knowledge. (Timestamp 3:39-3:58)

2. “Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.”

I’d say that this is perhaps the least evidenced of all the traits, but nonetheless, there are a few instances of this. Most relevant to me is Fan’s enjoyment of fanfic, especially the RPF he posted of him and MePhone. 

Fan has a VERY, VERY complicated relationship with MePhone. But considering the idolization he has for him, this very much reads as a narcissistic fantasy in my mind. Becoming closer to a person with such power and influence, a person you personally admire and hold great respect for their accomplishments and believe would reach out to you due to your own assumed superiority absolutely falls into the criteria of narcissistic fantasies, something Fan shows very clearly here.

3. “Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).”

This symptom is heavily varied on presentation, and isn’t as cut-and-dry as “wants influential acquaintances.” In my personal experience, this is more akin to your own personal hierarchy, only caring to bond and make an effort to associate with those whom are higher in the hierarchy. 

Fan is no stranger to this. He has a clear disdain for many of the contestants and subtly belittles them, such as Lightbulb, Paintbrush, Dough, or Paper. This is not that Fan necessarily dislikes any of his teammates or acquaintances, but he sees them as worse than him, which leads to a proneness of conflict due to his indifference towards their emotions. This also leads into the low-empathy in Section 7.

Meanwhile, someone Fan DOES view as “special” is Test Tube, what one would call a CHP/FP (Chosen Person / Favorite Person). He values her input and greatly idolizes her, and of course, is HEAVILY dependent on her. I can’t even begin to explain the intricacies of their relationship in such a small paragraph.

And in a rare case of Fan refusing to associate with institutions rather people, Episode 5 he remarks that he doesn’t want his egg to hatch into a “sub-par, bowless season”, an obvious projection on his end.  (Timestamp 1:32-1:38)

I don’t think he would’ve legitimately made any actions to leave the game given that Bow didn’t appear (despite him assuming that his first interaction with Bow was nothing but a trick of MePhone’s), but his indirect threat of not wanting to be in the game without Bow, finding it too inadequate for him, still stuck with me.

4. “Requires Excessive Admiration.”

Alongside #2, this is probably the other most difficult trait to explain on the list. Fan’s no stranger to subtly fishing for compliments, but that’s the exact problem with him. He’s so subtle that many of the contestants in fact MISS his social cues, and Fan ends up being ignored or degraded instead. 

Despite this, it’s clear that he expects praise and admiration from all, even if others don’t outwardly show it often. In the rare not-so subtle cases of Fan looking for acclamation, he outwardly asks for it to boost his ego, motivation, and most of all- excitement, as shown in Nickel’s FFF. (Timestamp 0:16-0:23)

Most of the time however, Fan places himself in positions that could give him commendation, one of my favorites being this short exchange from the Purgatory Stream. Fan has a lot of admiration for Marshmallow, and he tries to impress her with his offer, hoping for approval and kudos. (Timestamp 1:20:12-1:20:20)

(Short break here. Just wanted to mention how much Fan truly adores Marshmallow. Highly encourage anybody reading this to look into it if you haven’t already.)

Multiple times on Fan’s FFF’s, he’s attempted to do quips with his interviewees. In Nickel’s interview, he refers to these as his “fan instincts.” As I was saying earlier about these cues for praise being missed, both Nickel and Balloon react to his references with annoyance, in which Fan responds with aggression and disappointment respectively. In Balloon’s interview especially, it’s clear to see that he thought him referencing Balloon’s catchphrase would earn him a laugh and praise. (Timestamp 10:30-10:38)

5. “Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations).”

Perhaps one of Fan’s least hidden symptoms. Again, a trait so glaring that it’s impossible to pinpoint every example.. but of course, my favorite display of this comes from one of the oldest pieces of Fan media, where he VERY clearly shows this. (Timestamp 0:14-0:38)

Though this short is dubiously canon, seeing it within the context of NPD makes a lot of sense to me. Of COURSE Fan’s personality would be far less nuanced when first created, hence his entitlement manifesting very overtly and negatively. Though it does mellow out over time, it never truly disappears, just seeps into different faucets of his personality and actions. (Timestamp 1:37-1:43)

Take here, for example. Fan tries to justify stealing from Cabby, but the truth is simply that he felt he deserved to see what she said about him, not asking her permission first. As Test Tube said, an invasion of privacy, a serious one at that when considering the later reveal of Cabby’s files being her memory aids. Alongside that, the grandiosity he highlights in this scene (think back to Section 1) is amazing. (Timestamp 0:42-1:01)

Just a bonus clip of Fan’s entitlement in relation to this specific conflict. (Timestamp 8:44-9:02)

In another more evident demonstration, Fan simply admitted to filming FFF without OJ’s permission, not even considering the possibility of needing to ask for acceptance to film and host a show inside of the Hotel. In his view, it’s something he wants, and with nobody encouraging against it, therefore it’s his right.

Another thing I really like about this post is how “innocent” Fan comes across here. In my personal experience, entitlement has never been something I intend to be harmful to others, just something I feel I deserve because I am special, not even noticing my egotism with it. I don’t think Fan intended anything wrong with hosting the show, just assumed that OJ would be fine with it, and that he would have no need to ask for permission.

6. “Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e, takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends).”

Very much so! This is one you’d never note down when taking a first glance at Fan, but it happens to be severely true. The way the DSM words it makes it sound inherently malicious, but trust me that this is not commonly how this trait manifests. Everybody tends to be manipulative once in a while, and that doesn’t make it a necessarily negative symptom if utilized in ways that don’t harm others.

For Fan, one of the big signs of this is his tendency of sitting back and letting his team do the work. According to his patterns he’s guaranteed a win, therefore he finds he  has no reason to contribute, leaving his teammates to put in the effort to achieve it. (Timestamp 6:44-6:49)

Another thing I find I should add here is that Narcissists don’t usually intend for this manipulation to be.. legitimately evil manipulative. In our minds, we’re not doing anything wrong at all. So what if we use somebody as a means to an ends once in a while? There’s nothing wrong with it, especially if you deserve it. Fan is the same within this regard.

Funnily enough, this pattern of exploitation is a key factor of Fan’s character. Fan is THE #1 Fan of II, and as thus, must know as much about the show and its inhabitants as possible. He frequently uses the information and trivia he has collected about his fellows to steer them into giving him what he wants, no matter if it’s more information on themselves or a reaction, both things Fan finds severe intrigue and entertainment within.

Again, mentioning Nickel’s FFF (there is SO much to deconstruct there), Fan asks Nickel personal and invasive questions for his own entertainment, using Dime’s presence to utilize Nickel’s own self-confidence against him, prompting more honesty. (Timestamp 1:37-2:20)

Last but not least for this section, exploitation can be both conscious and subconscious. Though in my opinion it always seems Fan has some degree of lucidity, it’s clear from this blog post that it’s not all COMPLETELY conscious, some of his manipulative tendencies even flying over his own head. 

In this post he mocks a version of himself he believes is far from his own image, failing to notice how often he does take advantage of the others around him. In the end, it all boils down to intentions. This faux version of Fan is comically evil, and Fan believes his own personal intentions are nothing short of moral and understandable.. thus his manipulation not coming across as remotely manipulative to himself, just something he deserves.

7. “Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings or needs of others.”

A DEFINING characteristic of him. There’s so much to delve into with this specific aspect of his character, it’s practically infinite. For starters, Fan holds zero to none respect for everybody around him, viewing most of the people in his life as nothing more than simple characters.

There’s certain people who break this mold such as Test Tube or Suitcase, but most are confined to it. Even with people that Fan admires, MePhone or OJ for example, he still views as playthings. At that, Fan’s general emotional and mental disconnect from the world feeding into his low empathy leads him into the practice of stalking, in which both MePhone and OJ happen to be targets.

My favorite moments of Fan exhibiting his low empathy always tend to be when he’s alongside Paintbrush. This scene in Episode 7 really puts this into perspective.. despite Paintbrush’s outburst and clear distress, Fan sees their frustration as nothing more than laughable, even predicting the time it would take to happen. (Timestamp 12:50-13:03)

Even Paintbrush momentarily pauses in their outburst, shocked by his insensitive reaction. Later, they threaten Fan with the idea of smashing Baby Shimmer, an impulsive action in the blindness of rage. It really speaks to me how even though Paintbrush was too highstrung to adequately try to analyze Fan’s reaction, they still subconsciously realized that trying to get Fan to empathize with them was near impossible, choosing to instead threaten him in efforts of arising understanding.

Same kind of situation here. Fan only cares about Paintbrush’s emotions when Paintbrush punches him to the ground. This concern is completely unrelated to empathy of Paintbrush’s anger, merely just a self-preserving meekness in fear of being attacked again. And after Fan notices Paintbrush’s “cliche”, his attention is entirely diverted and he instead only focuses on this new discovery, again finding no meaning in Paintbrush’s emotions as his priorities are higher. (Timestamp 9:04-9:20)

Though this quote is more about Fan’s disconnect and escapism, it does highlight his apathy to others as well. I think there’s bits and pieces to be said here about Fan’s low empathy, even if not directly related to it’s portrayal in this context.

8. “Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.”

This symptom, just like majority of the others, is a key trait Fan exhibits. Time and time again, Fan flaunts spiteful and petty behaviors. Especially when provoked, Fan quickly finds himself vindictive and jealous. Though I do believe Fan’s grandiosity makes him believe that he has enviable characteristics, he tends to more outwardly show his jealousy toward others rather than vocalizing the assumed envy others have for him.

As I’ve referenced multiple times over, Episode 2 of Invitational is prime grounds for Fan analysis. This scene in particular shows such an evince of jealousy. Cabby first insults Fan’s formation of his identity, with an implied superiority of intelligence on her side. Watching his reaction is fascinating- first frustration, doubtful vulnerability, anger, then lastly disbelief.

Now, of course, this doesn’t exactly SEEM like jealousy, more-so defensive rage. Yet, it’s both! Fan has a lot of respect for how Cabby plays the game and her general self-image, admiring how professional and knowledgeable she comes across. Considering Test Tube’s proclamation of adoration for Cabby upon their first meeting, Fan instantly marked Cabby as somewhat of competition. 

Though he initially pursued a friendship with Cabby, he was quicker to turn on her than Test Tube, due to what I believe to be jealousy. Yes, Cabby is smart, but part of the reason Fan felt entitled to steal from her to prove that he is vasty more intelligent.. making a point that Cabby's notes on him are surface-level and nothing as good as Fan himself could create. When Cabby's file showed criticism of him, he took it even more personally than anticipated, because not only did her notes happen to belittle him, but also were severely impressive.

And as I said, during their confrontation with Cabby, Test Tube’s reaction seemed more disappointed and shocked with Cabby’s assessment of her, far more calm than Fan’s obvious anger. Again, Cabby is deprecating Fan in a way that makes her come across as far more impressive than him, far more mature and intelligent to the both of them. Not only is Cabby damaging Fan’s pride, but he sees her own self-presentation as a threat to how Test Tube perceives HIM.

This little interaction is quite a parade of envy. Vexation and jealousy tend to happen at the same time, something that’s very obviously shown here. (Timestamp 13:08-13:13)

At the end of the Episode during Fan’s elimination, Fan takes the news FAR more calmly than one would expect. Yet, this is mostly a facade, one to make himself seem far more composed and impressive than he actually is; by being so envious of Cabby, he holds himself to coming across just as dignified as she does. In matter of fact, Fan and Cabby share many of the same traits despite how differently they may manifest between them, and Fan sees part of himself in her. And for Fan.. my, is it terribly demeaning to meet somebody who’s  like you but BETTER. The envy he holds is gnawing at his core.

9. “Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”

As expected, a Fan special. I honestly wish I had more commentary on this symptom, but it’s so blatant and pertinent throughout his entire runtime on the show that I can’t offer up much variation that isn’t already obvious enough.

Citing this scene for example, this is clearly arrogance mixed with jealousy. Not only does he believe he’s far better than what Cabby has said about him, but he’s also jealous that Cabby comes across as more intimidating than him. (Timestamp 5:00-5:11)

Another really good presentation. His haughtiness causes him to act defensively, attempting to reassure to both himself and the Shimmers that he is in fact a threat bigger than them. When met with even more denial of his self-assumed daunting, he merely pushes it out of mind, believing that yes, he has fearful qualities about him and that his “lower score is preferable.” (Timestamp 12:05-12:30)

-

As per the DSM, NPD is diagnosed when patients meet 5 out of the 9 traits. In the case of this essay.. I managed to correlate Fan to all 9 symptoms. Though some are certainly more pervasive than others, I do believe Fan meets the full criteria… Which brings me to the end of my essay!

I have SO many thoughts about this that I couldn’t all squish into this already lengthy post. Please feel free to ask me anything about this at all, as somebody with a special interest in Fan, I could go on for HOURS.

And last but not least, if you have any questions on the topic of NPD (related to Fan or not) I’d also absolutely love to answer!

And with that.. Fan is absolutely a narcissist. Thanks for listening <3

[anti-ao3]

if you still donate to ao3 even though:

ao3 censors any support for palestine

they barely improve the website despite surpassing their donation goals every single time

they do not see anything wrong with RPF that sexualizes REAL minors

they excuse racist fanworks, they actually suspend anyone who does not feel comfortable with pedo/incest shippers, or literally anyone who labels themselves antis or anti p/roships

they also don't see anything wrong with ai generated stories that most likely steal from real writers that put their heart and soul into their works

and perhaps a lot more things they do that i might be forgetting

seriously.

if you get mad at marginalized ppl calling out ao3, and you act entitled when your fandom interests are being threatened, then you're a privileged asshole. if you call everyone "puritans" or "stupid kids" for being critical of ao3, you're a privileged asshole. this is not about you. this is about the actual harm ao3 does to real people. your favorite fanfictions should not be your priority. especially if you want to keep supporting palestine or people of color in general, you can't just get mad when they point out the flaws of ao3 and stop supporting them when they're not convenient to you.

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

Addressing The Tinhatters: A Statement in Solidarity With @dtmsrpfcringe And Others

I've been active in this fandom for a little over a year, and in my time here I've kept my slate pretty clean. I try not to involve myself in drama and discourse, and when I see something I don't agree with online, most of the time I keep it to myself. I've been aware of the blogs I refer to in this post basically from the onset, but I've stayed quiet, partially to not come across as disrespecting others' opinions and preferences and partially to protect my peace and my own life as a creator. But what started as mostly harmless, if a bit unhinged and delusional, behavior, has turned on some fronts into unimaginable cruelty the likes of which I never imagined this fandom to be capable of. As someone who it seems people in this fandom have come to respect, I think it would be unfair and selfish for me to stay neutral any longer.

Fanfiction has been a genuinely transformative force in my life. It has helped me discover so much about my own relationships to love and desire, and I would never want to tell anyone that it is wrong for any ship to be that source of inspiration for them, including RPF. Nor do I think, as I've said, that it's inherently wrong to have speculative thoughts about David and Michael's sexualities. As someone who has been lucky enough to interact with David several times now, and probably will again, I choose not to do so myself in a public forum out of respect, but curiosity doesn't have to be invasive, and David and Michael being in loving partnerships with women certainly doesn't mean they can't be attracted to other genders too. There's nothing wrong with liking the idea of a relationship between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, or even, really, with believing they might have feelings for each other. If that's all you're doing, this post isn't about you. What I absolutely cannot excuse is the proliferation of hypocritical, nonsensical, and nasty rumors about the women in their lives.

Nothing Georgia Tennant or Anna Lundberg seems to do is ever good enough. Every expression of positivity is curated and phony, anything that could be perceived as negative vile and mean. I see these women attacked on a daily basis as partners, as mothers, as actresses. Georgia is simultaneously presenting a false ideal of a perfect, happy family for her own gains, while somehow at the same time being too irresponsible and incompetent to be a proper parent. Anna, a still young and up and coming actress herself, is expected to perform the ideal of an affectionate partner on social media, is perceived as unsupportive of Michael when she doesn't, when in reality she may simply be trying to make a name for herself in the industry without people solely associating her with the man she loves. Both of these women share in David and Michael's advocacy for marginalized communities, sometimes in different, more or less obvious ways. David and Michael are always brave and sincere, while Anna and Georgia's actions are always self serving and performative, though no evidence is ever given to indicate that the things they post or charities they support are any sort of cover or deflection. Nor are there ever any reasons given for their perceived lack of onscreen talent, other than that they're "boring" or don't have as many jobs as their husbands- never mind that both of them are in an extremely competitive industry and get perfectly respectable amounts of work, especially for mothers of young children. Worst of all, I've seen them accused of things as awful as child abuse and rape, all for the crime of simply being married to the wrong men. It's all so horribly gendered too, David and Michael often referred to as the "men" while Georgia and Anna are reduced to negative stereotypes of nagging, shallow gold diggers. As a fandom populated with so many queer people, many of whom, myself included, have found freedom from gender roles with Michael and David's characters' help, I thought we knew better.

I've been lucky enough to meet both David and Georgia now, and have witnessed firsthand the easy, joyful affection they have for each other when no one of consequence is watching, the way they giddily hold hands on the street and make each other laugh while tenderly looking into each other's eyes even and especially after sixteen years together. Georgia when I met her was incredibly kind, down to earth, and approachable, and my partner, who's met her several times more than I have, gushes about her constantly- how funny, authentic, and intelligent she is, and of course, how much she and David love each other, how they look out for each other and adore each other's flaws and quirks. David of course still gushes about Georgia every chance he gets in speeches and interviews, her strength and brilliance as well as her beauty, and Georgia, while maybe not always as effusive, shows her love for David in plenty of ways, the beautiful candid photos she takes of him, for instance. There's such a soft, painterly tenderness and fondness in them, for the man, not just the dazzling star everyone else gets to see. Her David, gentle, devoted, goofy, aging, melancholy, imperfectly perfect David. Where would we be without Georgia giving us these little glimpses of him? I suspect the same people who deride Georgia's social media presence as try-hard, cringeworthy, artificial, would feel a bit differently if one day they stopped coming.

I can't speak as clearly on behalf of Anna and Michael, but the accounts I've gotten of her and Michael's relationship from eyewitnesses have presented it as no less loving than David and Georgia's, albeit in slightly different ways. Even then, why should I have to? She doesn't owe me anything. I doubt anyone who's made the posts accusing Anna and Georgia of being nasty baby trappers has ever had children. There's no such thing as a perfect mother, and even one child is a massive task. It's normal to not be a shining ray of affection all the time, and Georgia I know more than makes up for it with her fierce love and support for her children in all of their endeavors. Georgia is also a diagnosed neurodivergent woman, and so many of the remarks I see directed at her are clearly discriminatory and often directed at women with her diagnoses. Everyone coos over how charming David is when he shows signs of being AuDHD, but the second his wife does too, she's careless and cold. And don't even get me started on when photos of Michael and David looking anything less than beatifically happy get interpreted as them being miserable due to their wives treating them so poorly. THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS!!! NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EXIST!!! WOULD YOU BE A SPARKLING RAY OF SUNSHINE IF YOUR DISNEYLAND RIDE GOT STUCK!!!

I say all this now not even because I think I have any hope of stopping the people in question, but because one of the main fighters on the front of the opposition, @dtmsrpfcringe, has been both a wonderful online friend to me and dealt with even worse abuse than that which gets hurled at Anna and Georgia on the daily. When my blog was briefly overrun by TERFs in light of the Tennant/Badenoch/Sunak drama, Tori was the first person to stand up for me, and as she recieves more vitriol in one day than I've ever experienced in my entire life online, I think I've taken far too long to do the same for her. This woman has dealt with doxing threats, attacks on her character, and most horrific of all, wishes of death upon her and her baby. No one would blame her for stopping, but she has remained steadfast in her mission to call bs where she sees it, and she shouldn't have to do it alone. Tori, I think you are so brave, and I am proud to stand in solidarity with you against the misinformation, meanness, and misogyny that threaten to corrupt this fandom we call home.

Even after all we've been through over the past couple of months, I still believe the Good Omens fandom and David and Michael's individual fandoms to be places of kindness, empathy, and inclusivity. Which is why such cruel behavior (because there's no other word for it) is utterly disappointing and baffling to me. You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. You're the exact kinds of people David and Michael speak out against on a weekly basis, and I guarantee that if you engage in the kinds of behavior I've highlighted here, they would be disgusted with you. Or maybe they'd simply pity you, because your lives are so empty that you've decided the only way to fill them is to sacrifice the reputations and peace of innocent women on the altar of a relationship that in all likelihood takes place solely in your own heads.

And if you read all this and find you still ship David and Michael, which even I do sometimes, well, there's always polyamory.

I'm sleepy! good night and kindly fuck off! - Lauren

[lavalamps-and-ladydoors]

Do you think about this much? I can't tell if it crosses your mind often.

oh wow. buckle up my friend.

As Dan says in the Amazing Dan reaction video, "I was desperate to create my own brand on YouTube", you can see that desperation in his earlier videos especially pre 2012. I mean a lot happened that year, they move to London, start hosting a joint radio show and their brand becomes 'Dan and Phil'. Even past the phandom, shipping, privacy invasions, conspiracies ect, they were still known as Dan and Phil. Like they won the Radio 1 Teen award for best vlogger, even though they don't vlog and are two people.

They embraced it with the books and TATINOF, but looking back you can tell it was weighing on both of them, Dan especially. We now know that II was supposed to be the end, that it was both of them giving it their all, giving the people what they wanted before they stopped posting jointly. Honestly after seeing what they went through throughout those first 9 years it makes total sense why Dan would want that.

All of this makes the WAD era that much more gut punching. It must have meant the world to Phil to see his partner do this show. A show that was born out of so many 'failed' projects, pain, and injustice. He got to see Dan saving his own life over and over again, see him be authentic, help so many people. And throughout all of this Phil is having his own chronic health issues, the greenening, stresses ect. But we see him support Dan through it all, the texts in WDAPTEO 3+4, the orange heart tweet, promoting Dan's book when he wouldn't do it enough himself, he'll always be Dan's biggest cheerleader. They just love each other so much and its beautiful to see.

I love to see how Dan credits Phil in his solo projects. Most of the time it's not how one would expect someone to be credited. This type of work obviously happens all the time but Dan puts it into words and makes sure that we know at least a fraction of what Phil is doing.

'Special thanks to amazing phil for production assistance" (Basically I'm Gay)

'Archive Historian - Phil Lester' (Why I Quit YouTube)

'Creative Producer- Phil Lester' (Dystopia Daily)

'Remote Crisis Manger- Phil Lester' (We're All Doomed Tour)

I feel that people has underestimated Phil for so long, I remember people would hate on him for being less 'edgy' than Dan, for making different kinds of videos, even when he came out half the posts I remember seeing were comparing their videos and not appreciating that this man just came out. to millions of people...

I'm just so grateful to be in an era where they don't have to hide their appreciation for each other, where Dan can call Phil a power bottom, post pictures in a joint Halloween costume, and be genuinely proud that they beat Jesus/Jedus in a RPF shipping poll??

While the hiatus sucked I'm honestly glad it happened. I'm just so excited to see what Phil does next and when there is an eventual Phil solo project, I'll know Dan will be cheering him on the whole time🧡

[thefanficmonster]

Piss off your parents pt.2

PART 1

PART 3

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Turns out, LA is packing way more surprises than you were prepared for.

He's still nursing the same drink he started the night with. Not by choice - he just knows that he might make some serious mistake if he indulges in anything more or stronger. The beer is treating him well.

Then again, if he sees Nate and Y/N making out one more fucking time he might steer to the whiskey.

He feels like a terrible friend, unsure of who he's being more unfair toward of the two. He should be happy for them. Like Sam. He can't take a page from his book, though. He can't be openly supportive and encouraging of the blooming romance between his friends. The most he can do is plaster on a strained fake smile and try to enjoy his night, keeping himself away from them. If he can't be a proper friend, the least he can do is not let his displeasure - and borderline selfishness - swim up to the surface.

Although his features are definitely giving a clear glimpse into the warzone that is his mind. Hard glare, set jaw, gritted teeth, furrowed brows. If Sam wasn't already several rounds deep he'd probably pick up on it instantly.

Thing is, he already has picked up on it. The avoidance, the cold shoulder, short-spokenness. He's been picking up on the clues for months but dared not bring it up. In his head, it makes no sense. To him, it always seemed like Colby and Y/N were the rom-com waiting to happen. Stolen glances, gentle touches, subtle affection, their own love language. All trademark Colby-Y/N stuff. Where Nate came into the equation is unclear to him.

Truthfully, nothing is clear to him right now. Which is why Colby is currently helping him off the table he can't remember climbing onto.

"Come on, dude. You're gonna break something important." He says, steadying his best friend when he hops down too enthusiastically for someone in his state.

Sam slurs a response but is grinning from ear to ear so he can only assume he's enjoying himself enough to not mind Colby gentle-parenting him. But also enjoying himself too much to be trusted and left to his own devices.

Scoping out the hotel club with a quick glance, Colby's gaze thankfully finds Corey. Who it doesn't find is the main culprits responsible for his deteriorating mental state. Where's a shot of whiskey when you need it?

"Mind watching over him for a bit? Imma go get a drink." He yells over the music directly into Corey's ear, nodding to the inebriated blonde who's swaying to the beat of the music without a care in the word. Colby aspires to be him in an hour, the risks of it be damned.

Corey accepts the duty, earning himself a grateful pat on the back from Colby who disappears into the crowd the same instant. He's heading toward the bar, eyeing the bottles lining the wall behind it greedily. He's sees the amber liquids as a sea he's about to drown his worries in.

That is if he can shake them, though.

And, try as he might, he can't.

Surveying the venue a couple more times, he feels a sickening pit settle into his gut at the absence of his two best friends. He can't remember when he lost sight of them nor how, especially since his eyes were glued to her the whole night.

Others would be a lot less concerned with this predicament. I mean, when two people like each other veryyy much, have had several drinks throughout the night and have disappeared from the party, it's pretty clear where they might be and what they might be doing. But Colby doesn't even wanna let his train of thought travel that way. Neither his heart nor his liver can handle that.

But that's when he spots Nate with Sam and Corey. Yet still no Y/N in sight.

Colby decides this calls for a search party.

He checks each and every corner of the club with upmost diligence. She's wearing a little black dress that is for sure to help her blend into the blur of the party with the minimal lighting and packed crowd. It's not a problem for him though, he could spot her from a plane. Which makes his lack of findings all the more concerning.

He eventually takes his search outside the club and into the hotel lobby. Then out on the sidewalk, then in the parking lot. He has soon scoped out the entire perimeter around the hotel without finding a trace of her. He's all out of places to search and chock-full of sickening worry. It's as if she's disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Speaking of smoke...

As he's making his way back to the hotel entrance, he catches something out of the corner of his eye. A small plume of smoke emanating from the cracked open window of one of the club bathrooms. That's when the idea pops up in his head.

He never checked the ladies' room. For obvious reasons, of course.

But his rationality and reasonability were checked clear from his system ten minutes ago when his body entered full panic mode. So...

Still he tries to reason with himself: Play the drunk card. Just accidentally stumbled into the wrong bathroom, that's all. 'I'm not a creep I swear, I just mixed up the doors'. That could work, yeah....

And so, with a quicker pace to his step, he steps out of the humid LA air and into the chillier and more pleasant hotel lobby. He stops for a second under the cold AC breeze to take a breath. Collect himself.

What if it's not her? What then?

That depressing train of thought is interrupted by a slight ping coming from his back pocket. He nearly drops his phone he takes it out so damn fast. He'd sent Y/N a string of messages and even tried calling her a few times, all attempts with no success. Therefore, for a split second, he's hopeful that maybe she's finally replied.

Much to his dismay, it ends up being wishful thinking.

Much more to his dismay....

"Hello Cole. How is Y/N?"

...it's her mom.

It's been eight months since the incident, six since they moved to LA. In that time, Y/N's mom has come around approximately half an inch closer to tolerating him. Mostly because he's her only intel on her daughter since she's so adamant on being stubborn and not talking to her. And Colby is more than happy to be of service, he just wishes....

What exactly?

Wishes they could mend their bridges? Wishes he didn't have to lie on both his and Y/N's behalf? Wishes he didn't feel s fucking guilty?

Wishes it wasn't all a ruse?

Mrs. Y/L/N checks in once every couple of days, often with texts at odd hours like this. She has a lot of night shifts to handle at the hospital so, when she gets downtime is when she stops to reach out with a message to Colby - who she believes is her daughter's boyfriend, mind you - to ask about Y/N.

And he's always been instant with the replies. 2AM, 4AM, 7AM, you name it. Never once has he taken more than a couple minutes to reply. He can't remember sleeping more than two to three hours a night if any since they moved here. He'd blame it on the weather change. Then again, he knows better.

His correspondent noticed this too...

"Why are you never asleep? Is something wrong?" She'd asked him at one point, showing genuine concern which truly warmed his heart. And then broke it right afterwards when he remembered he can't tell her what's wrong. He wishes he could tell her for whatever reason. He has a feeling she'd understand, maybe even like him better because of it. But how could he tell her? The charade needs to be upkept, the show must go on, and he'll just...well, suffer, really.

With a quick confirmation of Y/N's well-being, he continues his venture back into the club, making a quick beeline for the dark hall leading to the bathrooms. And yes, he feels like a creep but no, he can't turn back now.

So, he pushes the door to the women's restroom open.

Thank the heavens, he thinks to himself. For two reasons.

Firstly, because it's a single stall bathroom.

Secondly, because on the sink counter outside the stall sits Y/N and suddenly he's getting deja vu.

Mascara is staining her cheeks, a cigarette is hanging between her lips, her hair is a mess. But she still gives him a smile when she sees him come in. "Hey." She greets him, voice barely above a whisper, "You're not supposed to be here."

Colby quickly locks the door behind him, approaching her with a newfound shake in his knees. Given her state, he's quick to assume the worst. "Jesus Y/N, what's wrong? Did something happen? Talk to me."

She shakes her head, a few more strands of her disheveled hair going awry, "Nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I'm just...having fun." She sounds bitter. Not sad, not angry. Just bitter, regretful almost.

For some reason he chucks up to human nature, he feels anger start boiling in that lingering pit in his gut, "Where have you been?"

She motions to the counter below her nonchalantly, slurring a little "Here" in response.

"Where'd you get that?" He asks, nodding at the cigarette between her fingers.

She laughs, whether drunkenly or genuinely he's unsure. "Some girl gave it to me when she heard me crying in the bathroom."

Alarms start goin off once again. She's unaware she's playing him and his sanity like a yo-yo with each spoken word, "Why the fuck were you crying? What happened?!"

Y/N finds the audacity to roll her eyes at him, "Nothing! For fuck's sake, Colby, nothing happened!"

"How can you say that and expect me to believe it? Look at yourself! You're a mess!" He tries subduing his anger but it's impossible. He doesn't know where it's stemming from. Maybe it's all that pent up adrenaline from twenty minutes ago coming loose. Maybe his worry is mixing with the relief and melting into frustration. Maybe he's taking out his bitterness - piled on for months, mind you - on her. Even though she doesn't deserve it. And he knows that.

She deserves the world.

He just doesn't deserve her. And he's yet to come to terms with that.

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you." She sasses him, taking the last puff of her cigarette before tossing it out the window.

"You're mascara is running down your face, your hair is all over the place, your lipstick is smeared as fuck. There's a party going on out there but you prefer sitting on cold marble and smoking in a bathroom. You can't tell me there's nothing odd about that." He's losing it, he can feel his sanity slipping from his grip and he can't get a better grasp on it. All he can do is watch as it leaves him.

Y/N, in her usual fashion, is quick to clap back, "You're the odd one! You're fully sober at your own party, angry for whatever reason. You're standing here lecturing me instead of being out there having fun. Oh, and need I remind you, you're in the ladies' room."

He laughs humorlessly. Exhaustedly. "I haven't been on a wild goose chase the whole night for you to...."

"He doesn't want me."

Her words cut him off and cut him deep. The confusion is brief but the pieces fall into place almost immediately.

Nate

"There's no fucking way. You've been all over each other..." He stops himself when he realizes how upset he sounds recollecting all the instances he caught the two in their own world. The pit rattles, a sickening feeling climbing up his throat.

She scoffs, "Yeah, well that's all there is to it. It's all physical. And always prompted by alcohol." A long sigh escapes her lips, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "I'm just disappointed I didn't notice it sooner."

Colby Brock, for once in his life, has been rendered speechless. But he's aware staying quiet isn't an option. So he makes a weak attempt at a consolation, "Y/N, I-"

"Did you know?" She thankfully cuts him off before he can continue word vomiting.

He quickly shakes his head, "No. I swear I didn't. I would've told you."

"Yeah, I know. I know you would've. I just don't know why he told you he liked me when you asked him..." She sighs, picking at the hem of her dress, thankfully oblivious to the sudden paleness of Colby's face.

The sickness gets worse as he remembers his huge mistake. A lie he told months ago.

Y/N had asked him to fight this one battle for her and he still didn't do it, for utterly selfish reasons. She'd asked him for something so simple - ask Nate about his feelings for her, if there were any. And what did he do? He kept his tongue behind his teeth and quietly hoped she'd forget about it. Such a foolish thing to expect from someone completely head over heels in love.

So, when she inevitably checked in to find out the response, he had to lie. Lie and give her false hope he didn't even know was false at the time. There was a devil on his shoulder telling him to tell her the complete opposite but he could never be that evil.

He'd rather drink and sleep his way into coping through it all than watch his best friend be brokenhearted.

In the end it seems he somehow swerved the situation into hitting both those nails on the head. And he completely and utterly hates himself for having done that to Y/N.

The least he can do is come clean.

"I never asked him."

Silence. Fucking crickets. They can hear each other's heartbeats. And he can't bring himself to look up at her, let alone meet her eyes.

It feels like forever before words are spoken between them. She's the one to break the silence with one simple word: "Why?"

He can't tell her why. He doesn't know why.

Actually, you know what, fuck that. He knows exactly why and that's the reason he can't tell her.

"I don't know." He feels like such a coward. But the consequences of the truth terrify him.

"Why did you lie to me?" She doesn't sound angry. He wishes she did. Because the hurt he can hear in her voice is far worse than any furious wrath she could unleash upon him.

"I don't know."

"Fuck that, Colby. You're my best friend, for fuck's sake. You're the last person I'd expect to lie to me and you-"

"You don't wanna know why, Y/N." His restraint is growing weaker. He regrets the words as soon as he says them. He's aware she most definitely not leave it alone now. They're both stubborn, so fucking stubborn. Mules, if you will. Legends say they still reference something they bickered about a decade ago today.

"Yes I fucking do, Colby."

"It could ruin a lot of things."

"It won't."

"I don't wanna lose you."

"You won't."

"You promise?" He feels horrible asking for a promise from her after having revealed the biggest lie he's ever told her.

Well, second biggest anyway.

But she doesn't second his opinion because her response comes out faster than a bullet, "I promise."

In this moment of honesty, raw and bare honesty, how could he lie? How can he look her in the eyes and not tell her the truth? How can he even look at her? He owes her that much but doesn't know if he has it in himself to do it.

Forcing himself to look up, Colby swears he can feel a sharp pain in his chest. Her eyes are dry of tears by now but the shine remains, accentuated further by the fluorescent lighting. He swears he can feel himself fall for her all over again, even deeper.

"Because I'm in love with you, Y/N."

The crickets are back. The silence is eating away at him. He can feel her slipping through his fingers. Their decade long friendship flashes before his eyes. It feels like he's saying goodbye. To the memories, to the friendship. To the love of his life that never was.

The weight of the realness knocks his head back down, his gaze fixated on the black tiles beneath his feet. Shame, pain, dread and fear are all battling for first place, causing a whirlwind in his brain that nearly knocks him off his balance.

It's astonishing how much it hurts losing something you new you didn't deserve all along.

Tagging: @benbarnesprettygurl @beanredacted

[olderthannetfic]

https://twitter.com/mofumofukani/status/1789010395799150983?t=yNgqkW5huCl_J8RiJdBcWA&s=19

seeing shit like "RPFreaks DNI" and "if you support RPF fuck off and block me" and such from self-labelled "proshippers" is absolutely insane to me. like you are an anti. you are calling people freaks and telling them to dni because you dont like the fiction they like. you are literally an anti. this is quintessential anti behavior. can you not see that?

seriously, the number of proshippers on twitter who have exposed themselves as basically anti-adjascent and unable to tell fiction from reality over this dumb discourse is insane. what do you MEAN someone is a pedo if they write fanfic about fictional characters just because one of those fictional characters is played by a teenage actor on tv. do they even hear themselves? i dont even like rpf and these people are gonna give me a hernia.

no, you cannot be anti-rpf and still be pro fiction/anti-censorship, ESPECIALLY if youre calling fanfics about fictional characters "literal rpf csem" like go fuck yourselves.

--

"Howwww can people write about [kpop guy of the moment]?????"

My dudes, the fanfic writer is not the one who debuted him at 13. Go take this up with the talent agencies, the gossip rags, and all of the people who need their fave to never date because it ruins the fantasy even if that fantasy is not written down.

[straycalamities]

old aromantic man yells at cloud under cut AUGH

maybe its the aro, but i also genuinely think its not only aros that yearn to have a significant relationship with a "best friend" that goes into the "gray area of romance"

i quote that because it literally doesnt all have to be seen as romantic is the thing and i think people deep down understand this on some level and yearn for it

i think the only thing i truly dislike overall from romo-shipping culture (other than omegaverse existing. rage. hatred.) is that it kinda devours people just being besties or just being so signifcant to each other in a non-romantic way. but then everyone's turning to hyping up "familial" relationships made it even worse. cuz now it's like oh they're non-romantic? oohhh they must be siblings...or parent/child...

like no what if people were just friends and that was also seen as significant. or enemies. or foils. or even coworkers. and all of that be seen as significant for what it is

i feel like this is especially true in fandoms into real life ppl/celebrities/influencers/etc. i feel like that's where it actually starts to become a big frustrating problem

fiction is something else because you can simply change the rules if you want, in your head, with headcanons, but you cant (or at least you really shouldnt and im judging you if you do) headcanon real people. if they say otherwise about this, or shipping, or whatever then ok thats their prerogative, BUT then ppl take one guy (gnc) saying this to mean they have permission for every guy (gnc) and it's like ok idc if people have been doing this with real living persons for centuries, we've been doing all kindsa other jacked up shit to each other for millennia am i supposed to suddenly be okay with that too because it's always been done? 😭 idk i dont mean for this to be all about how i dont support RPF and how parasocializing and celebrity worship has fucked over everyone's brains and warped them into dehumanizing people as normal even more than all of us being so online in general has and finding every buzzword that sounds like justification they can to okay it

but it is kinda linked to my point. i dont mean this in the whole "men are scared to be best friends for fear of being seen as Gay" i mean it as "a whole shitload of people are redirecting deep non-romantic relationships into just feeding the alloromantic normativity machine and my little aro ass is getting kinda tired of it"

i mean it in "everyone keeps trying to put relationships into neat little labeled boxes that have these hard and rigid rules to them and my loves-to-appreciate-the-depth-and-variety-of-human-emotions-and-relationships" ass is even more tired of this than the other thing

even in MY shipping. yes i say "shipping" yes i draw charas kissing, hugging, dating, intimacy. but i dont always mean romantically. because i remember the era when shipping could be whatever. it just meant you liked that those characters were significant to each other. and now it's become only one kinda thing (maybe two if youre differentiating between sexual and romantic shipping or a mix of the two)

and now i wish there was a word just for what i mean 😓 (and other ppl like me) that was just...yes i like these two (or more) charas together and idc what flavor of what it is theyre doing i enjoy it. and i wish that it could also not be seen as meaning less or just being lesser than romantic shipping

IM SO TIRED OF ROMANCE OUTWEIGHING AND EVEN OVERSHADOWING EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP PLEASE AND IM TIRED OF THE ONLY OTHER OPTION BEING NUCLEAR FAMILY DYNAMICS

i remember when "found family" didnt mean literal Mom Dad Son Daughter shit sighs

i also just think that if we saw friendships and best-friendships as more significant it'd also help with how so many people feel so damn lonely all the time just because they're "single" or whatever. it'd also mean less ppl jump into harmful romantic relationships, ignoring all red flags, just because it means they have a relationship

if they're getting social, inter-personal fulfillment outside a romantic relationship and it's treated as significant as that is. because it IS. think about your best friend, and the relationship yall have. or past best friends. its amazing! its deep! its meaningful!

think about even just your friends even if yall arent super close and how you still smile if you meet up or see them come online or get a text from them. or that coworker at your job that you probably wouldnt hang out with outside of work but they still make your shift less torture. IDK

look at the beauty and variety of your connections with other humans and how a lot of them you dont even have a term or name for. it's just. significant.

the stranger that smiled genuinely at you when you held the door open for them while you were having the worst day of your life and, for a moment, the world wasnt so bad

you'll never see that person again, but you'll probably never forget it. and even if you forget their eyes or the color of their hair, you'll never forget how it made you feel.

that's what i'm talking about. and i feel like you shouldn't have to be an aromantic person to appreciate that kinda stuff and the world would be sooo much better for it. what if we just fuckin appreciated our fellow man yknow????? especially when all the evil powers that be in the world are trying to make us turn on each other and eat each other alive so they dont have to do as much work

[puppypeter]

I very rarely think about storylines for royjamie after richmond (because it breaks my heart a little to think of anyone of the team leaving) but like it's possible that jamie would choose to stay with richmond his whole career, it's also possible that the people at richmond itself would push for him to play for *insert the name of whatever other european football team is considered the best* and he becomes a proper super star, being invited for fancy events and shit.

(In a made up world where Ted stayed in London) Roy and Jamie got together while at richmond and now Roy travels with him everywhere as his own personal coach / PA / secret boyfriend / man behind the camera of every instagram post / personal grumpy cat / number one fan / emotional support teddy bear / personal chef etc He loves being with him 24/7 and finds it fulfilling to still be involved with football and helping someone be the best they can be but without the added pressure of having to constantly step outside his comfort zone that he'd have experienced being a manager to a whole team (he's doing good with being vulnerable with Jamie, he can do it with one person that he loves and he is still going to therapy for himself to work through his own trauma/CEN/grief and is focusing on learning to be in his skin as a human being and not this fucked up idea of masculinity he's got in his head) And Roy has a private instagram account under a random username where he follows and is followed only by the richmond team/coaches/Rebecca/Higgins + Keely + Georgie & Simon + his sister and he only uses it to post pictures of food, nature, weird shit he finds in the cities they visit, and his fit boyfriend. Since it's friends only he does use captions ("the muppet had a late night last night" with a picture of Jamie asleep on the floor) and all the himbos love to comment, especially Dani's "Sexy muchachos #JOY" under every single picture.

"night out post Milan fashion week with the muppet and some lovely faces i have missed"

"one handsome dressed-up muppet in Paris"

"Elopement fit check #MyMuppet" (which sends everyone in a melt down) Here's some pics of Roy that Jamie posts instead (in his photo dumps to be sneaky but there's really a lot of roy on his profile - also they 100% got a puppy!!). Also think the proper first post containing only Roy that Jamie would post would be after they elope and it would melt down the internet (the in-universe royjamie rpf-ers especially)

(the last one is such a slutty roy pic *cough cough*)

"Roy Kent always remains 💙🪢" (somebody feel free to make an actual ig posts edit of this with better pics/captions if you fancy I will do nothing but cry and thank you forever because I have no skills but I cannot stop thinking about these muppets getting married!!)

[ray935sworld]

"You know... For someone that is very insisting about people not judging your brother based on you, you are really judging me based on my brother."

May I just say it here? Please don't throw stones at me. That's a great quote. And since we're all a bit delusional at rpf (I think that our great leader of VR46 cult would be very proud of us for that), let me fantasize about it a little bit. I always thought it was interesting to show how Marc might also be a little hostile towards Luca, since he's, well, Vale's brother and can hurt him as well. But then they obviously get closer, probably even have a serious conversation (similar to their interaction in your wonderful child of divorce au) and Marc renounced his prejudice, probably not even realizing that he experienced it, until Luca points on it (Marc, I think, terribly upset when he realizes this).

Despite this, to be honest, sometimes when I see how big Marc's heart is, I think maybe he never had real hatred for Luca, probably because their relationship has always been different. Maybe they've always really understood each other's position in this crazy story and what role each of them got in this show (I don't think they both agree with this state of affairs).

In any case, it's so nice when their relationship is shown to be supportive and respectful, even compassionate. I love them for that. And well, Luca helps Vale see things, THANKS A LOT TO HIM FOR THAT. Without him, we would have died in madness many years ago.

I hope I didn't scare you with this sudden and huge ask, I don't know where it came from (maybe madness hehe?).

EVERYONE PLEASE LOOK AT THIS!!!!

THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Honestly I can really see MArc getting extremly careful in terms of who he lets in. Like last person he trusted was the reason people attacked his parents. His brother. Yeah that man definitly got some trust issues from that. So he is very careful.

And I mean of course you wouldnt excactly welcome the brother of someone that talked THAT amount of crap. Seriously. Cause of course you think the brother is the first person standing at his side. Especially when we consider the close relationship between Alex and Marc. Marc who would stand by everything ALex does and say probably cant even imagine to turn on his brother and not agree and support whatever bs he is doing.

Maybe not even in a prejudice concious way but more in a subtle careful way which is why he needs a wake up call thats like "You dont trust Luca but he has literally never done anything or turn on you" which would made him stop and realize he had done the same to Luca (in a way) than so many had done to Alex. And I dont mean it in a mean way, like you said, Marc has a big heart so I think of it more as a natural safety think that his mind developed. Like "Everything Rossi related = bad = danger" and Luca got unjustified caught up in it.

And dont worry about it. I really enjoyed reading it and getting to think some more about it. I LOVE analysing character and behavior so that was fun! Sorry, took me a while to answer, brain wasnt really wroking at the time :)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: May 2024

you guyssssss you guys you guys you guys I've been reading so much this month :)

sometimes my brain gets the itch to just DEVOUR books and it's really been on me, probably thanks to the burst of energy + free time that comes with the semester ending and summer getting started! the days are longer, the last of my season depression has been kicked to the curb, and I can spend hours reading on the porch every evening. the ideal!

right now, as the month ends, I'm feeling a particular hankering towards nonfiction and juicy new summer novels; I reblogged a Lit Hub roundup of new books the other day that got my brain buzzinggggg with excitement for the coming months. we'll see if that ends up manifesting in the June roundup, but for now, here's what kept me busy in May:

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (Alexis Hall, 2022) - this month I read two romance novels picked by my beautiful patreonites; I did a compare/contrast between the two over on Patreon and I'll leave the majority of my thoughts there, but suffice to say that I am not a fan of Paris. definitely the weakest of the three Alexis Hall novels, and a real disappointment since I found the other two delightful. the story is straightforward enough and has some potential for sure, but Paris as a protagonist is a sodden mess who I found just insufferable. thumbs down from me, gang.

Chef's Kiss (TJ Alexander, 2022) - hi, it's the other romance novel. this one is a lot goofier than Paris Daillencourt, which is fitting since it's BA Test Kitchen rpf starring a bisexual Claire Saffitz and a nonbinary Brad Leone. it's frustrating because the story is definitely stronger than the one in Paris but the romance is piteously undercooked, although I was at least fine with the protag and her love interest getting together - they were boring but unobjectionable, unlike Paris and his love interest who I really thought would have been better off as friends. now that I'm thinking about it, you might get a perfect queer cooking show romance novel if you somehow mashed the two of them together. they're both, like, so close to working, but ultimately fall flat.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 4-6 (Ryoko Kui, 2018) - I don't even know what to say except that I'm still loving everything about Dungeon Meshi. the craft and thought that Kui puts into every facet of the world, from the big picture politics between fantasy races to the individual thoughts and feelings of each character, shows so much love for the world without ever being overbearing; it never feels like exposition is being hammered down my throat so much as little details are being tastefully arranged to be enjoyed at whatever speed and to whatever extent the reader likes. the world is getting bigger with each chapter and I'm looking forward to exploring more, especially now that Falin's hottie monster form and that good good catgirl have entered the chat.

Earthdivers Vol. 2: Ice Age (Stephen Graham Jones, Riccardo Burchielli, Patricio Depeche, Emily Schnall, Joana Lafuente, 2024) - once again I've done the worst thing that you can do as a comics fan, which is get invested in a series that's just starting out and is still releasing individual issues. the third trade paperback won't be out until December, so I guess I'm either going to have to go on hiatus with Earthdivers or start chasing down new releases on comic pirating sites, which feels shitty - that's how I read Batman comics that are the same age as me, not new stuff from authors I actually want to support! but Earthdivers might just be worth it. the second installment takes us to a wildly different setting than the first, Columbus-killing collection, dropping fearsome mother Tawny in a prehistoric North America. but while the setting changes, the series is still grappling with the question of what its protagonists are willing to sacrifice and who they're willing to become to change the past and save the world. we're starting to see bigger hints about how much history can be altered and catching some clues about the series' antagonist (???); I gotta know what happens next.

Prairie Fires: The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder (Caroline Fraser, 2017) - here it is, the book that got nonfic so powerfully on the brain! this is a riveting history whether you grew up on Little House on the Prairie or not (I didn't), tracking Laura Ingalls Wilder from an impoverished girl constantly imperiled by life on the prairie to a beloved icon of American propaganda. for me, personally, this hefty book really picks up when it gets to the endlessly complicated and frequently nasty relationship that Wilder had with her daughter when said daughter was grown; Rose Wilder Lane is a FASCINATING figure in her own right and I'm kind of obsessed with what a shithead grifter girlboss she was. fascinating stuff all around.

The Brides of High Hill (Nghi Vo, 2024) - Vo's series of Singing Hills novellas has always woven from one genre to another, exploring new types of stories just as our protagonist, the cleric Chih, explores new lands. this installation takes us straight into a gothic horror that pulls out all the stops: an isolated manor, an enigmatic madman roaming the grounds, the strangling snares of social conventions, and a blushing bride who isn't exactly what she seems. I read it in one sitting, it's delicious.

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023) - a poppin' primer for anybody who wants to learn more about the world of kink and what the fuck is going on out there. at one point I did catch myself thinking that I was a little underwhelmed and that Greenberg wasn't really putting forth anything that radical, but then I realized that speaking extremely candidly about and validating interest in basically any kink or fetish imaginable, and yes I do mean straight up any of them, is actually A Lot for many people to handle. so, yeah, good book, check it out for a friendly and enthusiastic intro to the wide world of kink.

Sex Criminals Vol. 2: Two Worlds, One Cop (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2015) - the first volume of Sex Criminals left me feeling a little meh, but I decided to keep going because Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run was lifechanging and I know this series is pretty widely acclaimed, so I want to see where we're going with this. (plus it's free via the library, so what do I have to lose?) this volume really sold me on the series and particularly on Jon, who I was pretty lukewarm on initially. he really stole the spotlight in this one, and I like the way that the story is ratcheting up the stakes.

The Stone Sky (N.K. Jemisin, 2017) - GOOOOOOOOOD what a book! what a trilogy! in a series shaped by empires and natural disasters, the story ultimately ends with a quit confrontation of clashing ideologies, a young daughter determined to end the world and a mother equally determined that one of her children should live. and that shit hurts! I read the series a couple of times when I was younger but I was never before able to fully appreciate the work Jemisin does in crafting Essun and Nassun, showing us the way cruelty and fear have shaped both of them into the people they ultimately are and the choices they make. absolutely masterful, a legend.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World in Search of the Good Death (Caitlin Doughty, 2017) - this was another reread, and while N.K. Jemisin was blowing my mind, Caitlin Doughty was giving me a warm hug. I don't know what to tell you, reading about the ways that people all over the world care for their dead and take comfort in their memories makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. death can be really beautiful and comforting, if you're not a coward.

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag (Sasha Velour, 2023) - listen, I'm not really a Drag Race girlie. I first heard about this book when Velour was a guest on Nicole Byers' podcast, and while I was very charmed by her I was not expecting to be blown away by her book. it's just a little cash-in for a Ru girl, right? all she needs to do is slap together some cool pictures of her in drag and a few platitudes about being yourself and boom bang, that's a book. but readers, I owe Sasha Velour an apology: this book was so much cooler and smarter than it needed to be! Velour brings an impressive eye to forces of colonialism and capitalism that shape art and conceptions of queerness, and keeps this framework firmly in place while keeping the tone of the book bubbly and lighthearted. she also goes out of her way to spotlight a huge variety of drag performers and gender nonconforming figures throughout history, celebrating all the different means of expression that make up the tapestry of contemporary queerness. a great read, and one that I've already shelled out for. a friend and I are working on a documentary exploring the nuances of queer style, and I know I'm gonna want to pull heavily from Velour's thoughts and the history she's curated.

[xn3city]

And finally: the one I've been waiting for, the young man whose face leapt into my mind's eye when I read @romanceyourdemons's wonderful idea about SVSSS as an American nineties TV series and led me to draw all this, your blorbo and mine: Winter Mississippi, and the useless fake silver crucifix his adoptive mother gave him.

And yes, his cutie mark is an inverted cross. He's a demon!

Notes on the supporting cast:

Pablo Escobar was still kicking around in the early nineties, and I knew I wanted the Heavenly Demons to be narcos, in conflict with the USA armed force cultivators. Huan Hua Palace's shady vibe works especially well with the CIA.

"Old Palace Master" is actually a great spy handler codename, but I was not about to give a black character a boss called "Master." I mean, you could do it in a fic. I can think of three authors just off the top of my head who I would trust to sensitively explore the hideous resonance that would give to the way Su Xiyan was abused and exploited by the OPM. But I'm not a good writer with a lot of prose to work with, I'm just a mid artist with one panel and most of it is taken up by a horny joke. I just said no.

My favorite joke in this whole thing is that the Heavenly Demons are named Jesus and Lover-of-God.

Tried to capture that devoted gege-spitting wet cat dynamic between YQY and the Original Goods.

Shen Yuan pre-novel is such a cipher. I understand that the general consensus is that he died at about around 20, but…that's not the impression I got when I read SVSSS, actually. I get it now, but when he says something about not having gotten laid for twenty years: to be honest, I read that, and assumed he was, you know, 35 minimum, and having the mother of all dry spells.

And I think it makes the story better. A twenty year old wasting his time in his mom's basement reading crap webnovels and yelling on the forums: that's just a kid having a less than maximally productive gap year! He might well have had a stellar career of his own in real life eventually! It's not super surprising that he blossomed on Qing Jing Peak! But a thirty-five year old incel NEET angrily posting in that basement….that's a man who has had something go wrong in his life. I'm not saying you can't turn it around at thirty-five, you absolutely can, but I tell you: it's harder. Something is wrong, mentally or physically or both, and in a way that leaves a mark. Fifteen years are gone. Opportunites have passed that will not return. For that guy to be handed the responsibility of Shen Qingqiu's life, and do such a goddamn virtuoso job of turning it around: that is some bestselling-loveseat-level portrayal of how a different context could pull radically different capabilities out of a person. That makes SVSSS just as much about how the PIDW!world transformed Shen Yuan, and for the better, as it is about how Shen Yuan transformed Luo Binghe and his world. And that's a better story.

It does make the relationship age gap more disturbing - but if you weren't here for disturbing relationships, what are you doing reading SVSSS?

The cell phones are of course terribly anachronistic, but here's the thing - there is no equivalent, and there's no story without it. There is no Peerless Cucumber yelling at the frustrated PIDW author for hacking out the 6000th boring papapa scene, without creators being financially dependent on direct contact and support from their fans in a way that just didn't exist in the nineties. I remember how novel and exciting it was that J. Michael Straczynski hung out on rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5; he absolutely did not have to. Eventually I decided that The Demon Heart of Winter Mississippi was, somehow, a nineties TV show about the 2010s, and everyone could have their phones. You know Minnie Liu is writing RPF on hers.

In case any of these weren't clear:

Demon Heart = Xin Mo Winter Mississippi = Luo Binghe (from @romanceyourdemons) "Don" Teófilo Lanza = Tianlang-Jun Chucho Lanza = Zhuzhi-Lang Sue Sheehan = Su Xiyan Codename: OPM = Old Palace Master Saul Czerniak = Shang Qinghua Wally Shen = Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu Julius Shen = Shen Jiu/Shen Qingqiu Adam Montague = Yue Qingyuan Helmut von Nordwüste = Mobei-Jun (from @romanceyourdemons) Shelley Howe = Sha Hualing Minnie Liu = Liu Mingyan Max Liu = Liu Qingge Néné Young = Ning Yingying Michael Ventola = Ming Fan

Fun game: guess whose likenesses I used for reference for all these characters!

[chobblesomewrites]

Grumbo // Fluff, Not RPF, HaTO!AU, Mumscarian hinted, Hermitshipping

"I liked it when you still wore your glasses."

Grian blinked out of his focused trance to slowly turn to look at Mumbo watching him at the side, his cheek rested against his hand as he looked at him with a distant and dopey look.

The child of Hermes had half the mind to embarrassed about being stared at so intensely, the rest of the half spent amused, "I didn't drag you here to be judged about my appearances, you know," he pretended to scoff like he took offense to Mumbo's words.

Mumbo frowned and shook his head sheepishly, "I don't mean it in a bad way. I- I still think you look great," he admitted, "Besides, I have nothing else to do, but look at you when I'm supposedly here to provide emotional support while you shovel some horse poo."

Grian frowned at the reminder of his current predicament, "I mean, you could help?"

"I only agreed to give my presence for sanity support, not at the expense of losing my own, " The son of Hephaestus shuddered disgustedly at the thought of even getting near, "Besides, it's your punishment."

The blonde glared at his best friend like a traitor, angrily going back to cleaning the stables, "For someone who's here to save my sanity, you're not doing your job well."

"Let's say I lied in whatever resume I had for this job then. What do you even want me to do?"

"Just talk to me. What's with you and my glasses?"

Mumbo didn't respond immediately that time, causing Grian to look up to see his focused yet embarrassed face as the mustached teen seemed to struggle on how to formulate his words.

The child of Hermes frowned at him, "Is it really that much of a problem?"

"No, no- Gosh, no. Just give me a moment! You of all people should know how difficult it is to communicate your honest thoughts, you know," Mumbo excused with a red face.

"It's just about my appearance? Is it such a serious situation?"

Grian leaned over the nearby water trough and anxiously looked at his own reflection. Sure, he always claims how good looking he is, but it's not like he means it. He's not that narcissistic, but he's sure that he has enough dignity to at least know he's not that ugly.

...Does he actually look that bad?

When he noticed the shorter teen looking a little conscious, Mumbo waved his hands to get his attention back to him as he panicked to explain himself, "I already said it's not bad! You look great! Wonderful, even! The fairest of them all!"

Grian blushed and pretended to look disgusted to cover up his embarrassing reactions to the compliments, "Okay then, Mirror Mirror In the Stables- If I'm so wonderful, what's with the claim about liking me with glasses?"

They stared each other down intensely before Grian added with a mutter, "...Is that your ty--"

"Oh, shut up," Mumbo scoffed, rubbing his red cheeks awkwardly, "I just think it's a shame that you hide your eyes behind your goggles so often now."

"You used to be so expressive back then," he added with a longing pout.

Grian furrowed his eyebrows. He doesn't hide that often, does he? He can't help it either when his vision is dependent on his goggles more especially when he lazily gave up on replacing lost glasses as a frequent sky traveller.

Ah, but remembering the times he'd usually wear them around Scar because he gets affected by his unwarranted pick up lines here and there.... Well, is it his problem that Scar has such a smooth tongue?

He then glared at Mumbo. He's not helping out with his situation either. Mumbo Dumbo.

"I feel safer with them on. Physically and Mentally. Is it such a problem?" Grian crossed his arms and mirrored Mumbo's pout, causing the latter to grin in mild amusement.

"Not a problem at all, but I really would prefer if you looked at me the same way you did back then."

Grian sorted through his memories, "Back then?"

Mumbo shrugged and rested his head on his arms, avoiding Grian's eyes, "Like, uhm- with the.. big eyes, and stuff. They were... e-easier to see with your, uh, glasses than your goggles."

A beat of silence before he then added, "It was cute! I would've thought you absolutely abhorred me back then if it weren't for you staring at me like a bird who found something shiny!"

Grian's face flushed red and he was about to defend himself if it weren't for the other's additional comment, "Also, you squint your eyes and scrunch up your face when you don't wear your goggles, you look like a blind old man--"

Mumbo cut himself off with a squeak as Grian suddenly threw dirt at this direction with his shovel as a warning, "Shut up!"

"You asked about it!" Mumbo defended before backing off even more when dirt was thrown at his direction again, causing him to pout.

Grian was struggling between getting flustered over being called cute and getting pissed over being compared to an old man. He turned his back on Mumbo and grumbled under his breath.

Mumbo sighed exasperatedly in response to his childish reaction, "Wear your glasses more, G."

"Is that out of concern for my vision or do you just like the feeling of being stared at?"

Mumbo chuckled awkwardly, "Let's go with the fact that I want to see your face more?"

[laura1633]

you're crazy, charles just had one of the worst race bcs ferrari fuck him up again, and what u think of it was how this circumstances was fit into the prompt some people ask u. please could u be more conciderate to treat him like a human he is and not ur fanfiction tools?

I was going to ignore this ask completely because quite frankly it’s ridiculous, especially given the nature of this blog, but I think there is an important point to be made. 

Firstly, this is my blog and I am entitled to post whatever I want.

Secondly, and this might be difficult for you anon, you need to pause and take a second to realise that people react to things in different ways. You might not like RPF or you might only like it within certain circumstances but you certainly don’t speak for everyone. What makes you you think that it is okay for you to dictate how other people deal with their emotions?! I can’t even begin to tell you how narrow minded and inconsiderate that is of you. 

I spent the few hours after the race discussing Charles’ situation and speculating on what options he has but then I decided to take a step back. I assume you want me to keep doom posting but I can assure you that that will not improve Charles’ situation. I suppose I could have tried marching to Maranello to try and take control of Ferrari by force but alas I didn’t think of that at the time.

I understand that you might feel frustrated, angry or sad after the race but if seeing fan fiction takes about it makes you this upset then I would suggest, with all sincerity, taking a step away from the internet after a race. It’s up to you though, I am not here to tell you what to do. I just think it is important we realise that this is a sport and we should try not to take on all the stress and negativity of it in our own lives as difficult as that can be sometimes. 

This blog is 90% fan fiction and contained to a site where it should not reach Max, Charles or anyone who knows them. When they are racing I support them as drivers but when I am writing about them then I suppose they are fan fiction tools. That doesn’t make them any less human. I find that writing fan fiction about events helps me set the emotions around a race aside rather than carry that negativity around with me. 

In short, I think you need to stop being rude to people online (anonymously no less), stop trying to regulate other people’s reactions to things and stop taking away other people’s fun and/or emotional outlets. Charles won’t thank us for it, he doesn’t even know we exist! 

If you think this is some gotcha moment I can assure you that it is not. If Charles has another bad race (and I say if because please let Ferrari regroup and come back stronger) but if he has another bad race you best believe that I am fictionally going to make Max fuck him either harder next time thanks to this ask, so hard that Charles won’t remember what team he drives for. I therefore respectfully suggest you block this account to save yourself future stress.

Peace and love and all that though, thanks for stopping by 😂😘