#ii analysis

[fansblogs]

fan is a narcissist. isn’t it wonderful.

Fan and NPD: The ultimate masterpost. Or something.

Hello! First time posting something this long, so forgive me for any possible inconveniences. The purpose of this post is to explain the grounds of my headcanon and correlate this disorder to Fan, whom I believe showcases it spectacularly, as well as educating on NPD along the way. This does not mean that Fan having NPD is “canon” by any account, but he most certainly displays traits of it, and it’s something I personally believe he has!

Disclaimer that this post is being made by a questioning narcissist. If you associate NPD with abuse, demonize narcissists or so on, please block me. Disorders do not make anybody inherently evil!

..in the making of this, I forgot that tumblr had video limits. To overcome this, I’ve linked most of the scenes I’ve been using for reference when making this post! There’s plenty of times where I start to describe certain scenes, so make sure to click on the link to avoid confusion. Sorry for the inconvenience!

If this format is too cluttered and/or confusing; here’s also the Twitter version of this post.

Lastly, if any PWNPD have things they want to note or add, go ahead!

tags: @moonlightcanyon @box-of-lemon-nys

All of this information is taken straight from the DSM-5. I don’t support nor endorse the ableist view of NPD shown in the DSM, but for the sake of simplicity I’ll be referring to it, as it’s the official diagnostic criteria.

As per the DSM, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is defined as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.”

Fan displays all of these traits outstandingly overtly, yet in such a way most people wouldn’t recognize as narcissism. Starting with the first;

“Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).”

This has been pertinent since his appearance in S2. In fact, the first line he even speaks in the season is a proclamation of his believed superiority. Fan has based his identity on being the BEST, the #1 fan of Inanimate Insanity. 

Though there’s way too many examples of his grandiosity to compile completely, one of my favorites is this theory shown in EP 7, which perfectly displays these behaviors.

He’s confident that his theory is right, that each team will always win twice in a row. Though he provides proof, he notes “Not like you need it, right?”, showing that he believes his word is more than enough to prove something correct. Last but not least, his favorite episode (at the time) was Episode 3, the one where HE won the challenge for his team.

Again, just for the sake of simplicity, i’m picking and choosing scenes so I don’t have to note down every single time he displays this symptom.. but please keep in mind that this is a VERY obvious trait he shows almost constantly.

Though this side note isn’t really intended to be “evidence”, it feels relevant to mention that later in the series, Episode 14 becomes his favorite Episode, yet again another episode focused on his growth and accomplishments. 

Another thing important to mention here is that narcissists are SEVERELY sensitive to criticism, which we see multiple times with Fan. Episode 2 of Invitational illustrates this very well with Fan’s reactions to both Cabby’s files and her own spoken criticism of him, even refuting it by blatantly denying his negative behaviors and defending his knowledge. (Timestamp 3:39-3:58)

2. “Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.”

I’d say that this is perhaps the least evidenced of all the traits, but nonetheless, there are a few instances of this. Most relevant to me is Fan’s enjoyment of fanfic, especially the RPF he posted of him and MePhone. 

Fan has a VERY, VERY complicated relationship with MePhone. But considering the idolization he has for him, this very much reads as a narcissistic fantasy in my mind. Becoming closer to a person with such power and influence, a person you personally admire and hold great respect for their accomplishments and believe would reach out to you due to your own assumed superiority absolutely falls into the criteria of narcissistic fantasies, something Fan shows very clearly here.

3. “Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).”

This symptom is heavily varied on presentation, and isn’t as cut-and-dry as “wants influential acquaintances.” In my personal experience, this is more akin to your own personal hierarchy, only caring to bond and make an effort to associate with those whom are higher in the hierarchy. 

Fan is no stranger to this. He has a clear disdain for many of the contestants and subtly belittles them, such as Lightbulb, Paintbrush, Dough, or Paper. This is not that Fan necessarily dislikes any of his teammates or acquaintances, but he sees them as worse than him, which leads to a proneness of conflict due to his indifference towards their emotions. This also leads into the low-empathy in Section 7.

Meanwhile, someone Fan DOES view as “special” is Test Tube, what one would call a CHP/FP (Chosen Person / Favorite Person). He values her input and greatly idolizes her, and of course, is HEAVILY dependent on her. I can’t even begin to explain the intricacies of their relationship in such a small paragraph.

And in a rare case of Fan refusing to associate with institutions rather people, Episode 5 he remarks that he doesn’t want his egg to hatch into a “sub-par, bowless season”, an obvious projection on his end.  (Timestamp 1:32-1:38)

I don’t think he would’ve legitimately made any actions to leave the game given that Bow didn’t appear (despite him assuming that his first interaction with Bow was nothing but a trick of MePhone’s), but his indirect threat of not wanting to be in the game without Bow, finding it too inadequate for him, still stuck with me.

4. “Requires Excessive Admiration.”

Alongside #2, this is probably the other most difficult trait to explain on the list. Fan’s no stranger to subtly fishing for compliments, but that’s the exact problem with him. He’s so subtle that many of the contestants in fact MISS his social cues, and Fan ends up being ignored or degraded instead. 

Despite this, it’s clear that he expects praise and admiration from all, even if others don’t outwardly show it often. In the rare not-so subtle cases of Fan looking for acclamation, he outwardly asks for it to boost his ego, motivation, and most of all- excitement, as shown in Nickel’s FFF. (Timestamp 0:16-0:23)

Most of the time however, Fan places himself in positions that could give him commendation, one of my favorites being this short exchange from the Purgatory Stream. Fan has a lot of admiration for Marshmallow, and he tries to impress her with his offer, hoping for approval and kudos. (Timestamp 1:20:12-1:20:20)

(Short break here. Just wanted to mention how much Fan truly adores Marshmallow. Highly encourage anybody reading this to look into it if you haven’t already.)

Multiple times on Fan’s FFF’s, he’s attempted to do quips with his interviewees. In Nickel’s interview, he refers to these as his “fan instincts.” As I was saying earlier about these cues for praise being missed, both Nickel and Balloon react to his references with annoyance, in which Fan responds with aggression and disappointment respectively. In Balloon’s interview especially, it’s clear to see that he thought him referencing Balloon’s catchphrase would earn him a laugh and praise. (Timestamp 10:30-10:38)

5. “Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations).”

Perhaps one of Fan’s least hidden symptoms. Again, a trait so glaring that it’s impossible to pinpoint every example.. but of course, my favorite display of this comes from one of the oldest pieces of Fan media, where he VERY clearly shows this. (Timestamp 0:14-0:38)

Though this short is dubiously canon, seeing it within the context of NPD makes a lot of sense to me. Of COURSE Fan’s personality would be far less nuanced when first created, hence his entitlement manifesting very overtly and negatively. Though it does mellow out over time, it never truly disappears, just seeps into different faucets of his personality and actions. (Timestamp 1:37-1:43)

Take here, for example. Fan tries to justify stealing from Cabby, but the truth is simply that he felt he deserved to see what she said about him, not asking her permission first. As Test Tube said, an invasion of privacy, a serious one at that when considering the later reveal of Cabby’s files being her memory aids. Alongside that, the grandiosity he highlights in this scene (think back to Section 1) is amazing. (Timestamp 0:42-1:01)

Just a bonus clip of Fan’s entitlement in relation to this specific conflict. (Timestamp 8:44-9:02)

In another more evident demonstration, Fan simply admitted to filming FFF without OJ’s permission, not even considering the possibility of needing to ask for acceptance to film and host a show inside of the Hotel. In his view, it’s something he wants, and with nobody encouraging against it, therefore it’s his right.

Another thing I really like about this post is how “innocent” Fan comes across here. In my personal experience, entitlement has never been something I intend to be harmful to others, just something I feel I deserve because I am special, not even noticing my egotism with it. I don’t think Fan intended anything wrong with hosting the show, just assumed that OJ would be fine with it, and that he would have no need to ask for permission.

6. “Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e, takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends).”

Very much so! This is one you’d never note down when taking a first glance at Fan, but it happens to be severely true. The way the DSM words it makes it sound inherently malicious, but trust me that this is not commonly how this trait manifests. Everybody tends to be manipulative once in a while, and that doesn’t make it a necessarily negative symptom if utilized in ways that don’t harm others.

For Fan, one of the big signs of this is his tendency of sitting back and letting his team do the work. According to his patterns he’s guaranteed a win, therefore he finds he  has no reason to contribute, leaving his teammates to put in the effort to achieve it. (Timestamp 6:44-6:49)

Another thing I find I should add here is that Narcissists don’t usually intend for this manipulation to be.. legitimately evil manipulative. In our minds, we’re not doing anything wrong at all. So what if we use somebody as a means to an ends once in a while? There’s nothing wrong with it, especially if you deserve it. Fan is the same within this regard.

Funnily enough, this pattern of exploitation is a key factor of Fan’s character. Fan is THE #1 Fan of II, and as thus, must know as much about the show and its inhabitants as possible. He frequently uses the information and trivia he has collected about his fellows to steer them into giving him what he wants, no matter if it’s more information on themselves or a reaction, both things Fan finds severe intrigue and entertainment within.

Again, mentioning Nickel’s FFF (there is SO much to deconstruct there), Fan asks Nickel personal and invasive questions for his own entertainment, using Dime’s presence to utilize Nickel’s own self-confidence against him, prompting more honesty. (Timestamp 1:37-2:20)

Last but not least for this section, exploitation can be both conscious and subconscious. Though in my opinion it always seems Fan has some degree of lucidity, it’s clear from this blog post that it’s not all COMPLETELY conscious, some of his manipulative tendencies even flying over his own head. 

In this post he mocks a version of himself he believes is far from his own image, failing to notice how often he does take advantage of the others around him. In the end, it all boils down to intentions. This faux version of Fan is comically evil, and Fan believes his own personal intentions are nothing short of moral and understandable.. thus his manipulation not coming across as remotely manipulative to himself, just something he deserves.

7. “Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings or needs of others.”

A DEFINING characteristic of him. There’s so much to delve into with this specific aspect of his character, it’s practically infinite. For starters, Fan holds zero to none respect for everybody around him, viewing most of the people in his life as nothing more than simple characters.

There’s certain people who break this mold such as Test Tube or Suitcase, but most are confined to it. Even with people that Fan admires, MePhone or OJ for example, he still views as playthings. At that, Fan’s general emotional and mental disconnect from the world feeding into his low empathy leads him into the practice of stalking, in which both MePhone and OJ happen to be targets.

My favorite moments of Fan exhibiting his low empathy always tend to be when he’s alongside Paintbrush. This scene in Episode 7 really puts this into perspective.. despite Paintbrush’s outburst and clear distress, Fan sees their frustration as nothing more than laughable, even predicting the time it would take to happen. (Timestamp 12:50-13:03)

Even Paintbrush momentarily pauses in their outburst, shocked by his insensitive reaction. Later, they threaten Fan with the idea of smashing Baby Shimmer, an impulsive action in the blindness of rage. It really speaks to me how even though Paintbrush was too highstrung to adequately try to analyze Fan’s reaction, they still subconsciously realized that trying to get Fan to empathize with them was near impossible, choosing to instead threaten him in efforts of arising understanding.

Same kind of situation here. Fan only cares about Paintbrush’s emotions when Paintbrush punches him to the ground. This concern is completely unrelated to empathy of Paintbrush’s anger, merely just a self-preserving meekness in fear of being attacked again. And after Fan notices Paintbrush’s “cliche”, his attention is entirely diverted and he instead only focuses on this new discovery, again finding no meaning in Paintbrush’s emotions as his priorities are higher. (Timestamp 9:04-9:20)

Though this quote is more about Fan’s disconnect and escapism, it does highlight his apathy to others as well. I think there’s bits and pieces to be said here about Fan’s low empathy, even if not directly related to it’s portrayal in this context.

8. “Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.”

This symptom, just like majority of the others, is a key trait Fan exhibits. Time and time again, Fan flaunts spiteful and petty behaviors. Especially when provoked, Fan quickly finds himself vindictive and jealous. Though I do believe Fan’s grandiosity makes him believe that he has enviable characteristics, he tends to more outwardly show his jealousy toward others rather than vocalizing the assumed envy others have for him.

As I’ve referenced multiple times over, Episode 2 of Invitational is prime grounds for Fan analysis. This scene in particular shows such an evince of jealousy. Cabby first insults Fan’s formation of his identity, with an implied superiority of intelligence on her side. Watching his reaction is fascinating- first frustration, doubtful vulnerability, anger, then lastly disbelief.

Now, of course, this doesn’t exactly SEEM like jealousy, more-so defensive rage. Yet, it’s both! Fan has a lot of respect for how Cabby plays the game and her general self-image, admiring how professional and knowledgeable she comes across. Considering Test Tube’s proclamation of adoration for Cabby upon their first meeting, Fan instantly marked Cabby as somewhat of competition. 

Though he initially pursued a friendship with Cabby, he was quicker to turn on her than Test Tube, due to what I believe to be jealousy. Yes, Cabby is smart, but part of the reason Fan felt entitled to steal from her to prove that he is vasty more intelligent.. making a point that Cabby's notes on him are surface-level and nothing as good as Fan himself could create. When Cabby's file showed criticism of him, he took it even more personally than anticipated, because not only did her notes happen to belittle him, but also were severely impressive.

And as I said, during their confrontation with Cabby, Test Tube’s reaction seemed more disappointed and shocked with Cabby’s assessment of her, far more calm than Fan’s obvious anger. Again, Cabby is deprecating Fan in a way that makes her come across as far more impressive than him, far more mature and intelligent to the both of them. Not only is Cabby damaging Fan’s pride, but he sees her own self-presentation as a threat to how Test Tube perceives HIM.

This little interaction is quite a parade of envy. Vexation and jealousy tend to happen at the same time, something that’s very obviously shown here. (Timestamp 13:08-13:13)

At the end of the Episode during Fan’s elimination, Fan takes the news FAR more calmly than one would expect. Yet, this is mostly a facade, one to make himself seem far more composed and impressive than he actually is; by being so envious of Cabby, he holds himself to coming across just as dignified as she does. In matter of fact, Fan and Cabby share many of the same traits despite how differently they may manifest between them, and Fan sees part of himself in her. And for Fan.. my, is it terribly demeaning to meet somebody who’s  like you but BETTER. The envy he holds is gnawing at his core.

9. “Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”

As expected, a Fan special. I honestly wish I had more commentary on this symptom, but it’s so blatant and pertinent throughout his entire runtime on the show that I can’t offer up much variation that isn’t already obvious enough.

Citing this scene for example, this is clearly arrogance mixed with jealousy. Not only does he believe he’s far better than what Cabby has said about him, but he’s also jealous that Cabby comes across as more intimidating than him. (Timestamp 5:00-5:11)

Another really good presentation. His haughtiness causes him to act defensively, attempting to reassure to both himself and the Shimmers that he is in fact a threat bigger than them. When met with even more denial of his self-assumed daunting, he merely pushes it out of mind, believing that yes, he has fearful qualities about him and that his “lower score is preferable.” (Timestamp 12:05-12:30)

-

As per the DSM, NPD is diagnosed when patients meet 5 out of the 9 traits. In the case of this essay.. I managed to correlate Fan to all 9 symptoms. Though some are certainly more pervasive than others, I do believe Fan meets the full criteria… Which brings me to the end of my essay!

I have SO many thoughts about this that I couldn’t all squish into this already lengthy post. Please feel free to ask me anything about this at all, as somebody with a special interest in Fan, I could go on for HOURS.

And last but not least, if you have any questions on the topic of NPD (related to Fan or not) I’d also absolutely love to answer!

And with that.. Fan is absolutely a narcissist. Thanks for listening <3

[drawingoddessy]

Hyper-analysis of Lightbulb season 2 episode 12

Bonus!!

I wanna share my opinion on the pen Testtube gave to her. After the adventure to the past her and Lightbulb began to grow close. Testtube seeing the more emotional side of Lightbulb really gave her a better insight to Lightbulbs head. Upon leaving she gave her an emergency alert. This can be for if anything dangerous, like the spaceship in episode 14 were to happen again, but I have a different thought.

I want to delve into what Testtube says to Lightbulb after giving it to her. “Whenever you get nervous” not in danger. What if Testtube gave this to her so someone can be there for her emotionally when she gets stressed or sad.

Ofc Lightbulb doesn’t click it until she really needed saving from Taco. Bc she’s Lightbulb and rather wait until things get bad.

Why I think Testtube made it more for an emotional distress signal than an emergency? Because if it was for danger Testtube would have gone out herself, she’s more equipped with handling actual danger (like how she literally made a freaking gun with a telescope and a taser back in episode 14) than Paintbrush.

But she told Paintbrush that they should handle it. Because Testtube knows Lightbulb upon seeing paintbrush would feel better. (She ships it LMAO).

To prove my point the color scheme OF paintbrush.

But she tells Paintbrush it’s an emergency to get them there and respect Lightbulbs privacy incase she didn’t feel comfortable sharing with paintbrush why she was nervous.

And it goes as Testtube thought, she does tell them what she was feeling and Paintbrush reassures her.

Leading her to leave the competition on her own accord.

But this is what Lightbulb wants, her heart isn’t in the competition if her friends aren’t here with her. 

Heres a happy little bonus to my Lightbulb anaylsis! if you want to read the whole thing you can start here

v

First part

[microknifeyuri]

Nickel and Balloon's arc and why you may be wrong about it, and why you are wrong about Suitcase and Nickel as well.

Nickel didn't trust Balloon because Balloon was a dick on s1 (something that the fandom forgets so fucking much), and of course he wouldn't trust Balloon being a part of the alliance either since Baseball (Nickel's best friend) and Suitcase (Nickel's ally/Baseball's closest friend) were part of it. "But Nickel didn't care about Suitcase-" he did, Adam himself did say he did care for her, but he strongly lacks emotional intelligence to truly get her. So of course, he didn't want to risk it, even if he does believe that Balloon wants to change, he doesn't want Suitcase to get involved with the guy.

Although Nickel doesn't want Balloon near and is an asshole towards the guy, I think that all of you kind of also forget that at one point on s2, Nickel did say that he thought that Balloon wanting to change was something good, but that he still didn't want to be associated with the guy. Which is, yes, shitty on his behalf, but it makes sense character wise. It's a case of "it's great that you want to be a better person, but i don't want to be near you even so", which is something most people felt at one point of their life.

Adding to this behaviour of his, again, it wasn't just because "Nickel is a dick without excuses", protecting his loved ones (his alliance) is. Kind of his whole thing. You know. He cares about them but sucks at showing it (this includes how he treated Baseball, looking at you all), he has the thought that if he's on control of a situation, no one will get hurt. He sucks at communication. Hell, it's even said on the series, he is afraid of change and also about accountability. ACCOUNTABILITY.

So yes, the way he treated Balloon isn't justified, even Nickel says it himself, but he has his reasons as to why he acted like that. But I think that you guys also need to remember some more important stuff as well. Nickel wasn't like this because he fully wanted to, but his behaviour towards Balloon was also constantly justified by Baseball.

And so here's the main question that troubles everybody so fucking much it's stupid.

"Why did Nickel change his mind on Balloon on s3 like that? It doesn't make sense"

Listen.

The reason as to why Nickel actually gave himself a chance to know Balloon properly is because of two very important factors. So I know that some of you might not be familiar with the official II comics, but the first reason is in one of the comics actually.

Especifically on the Letters Comic.

The plot of the comic is Balloon writing letters to those who he wronged/had a bad relationship with, and this includes pretty much all of the S1 cast (excluding the ones that are still on S2). And guess what, Nickel gets a letter as well.

There isn't a canon outcome as to what Nickel did with the letter. We don't know if he threw it away or took a look at it. But to me, I think that he did took a look at it. I will explain why later on in this post.

The second reason as to why Nickel's behaviour with Balloon changed on S3 was because, Baseball wasn't there to try to justify Nickel's hatred towards Balloon. In fact, what he got instead was Box, and we know that Box is like, Nickel's best friend on s3. What Box does is basically telling Nickel to get his shit together, stop holding onto stupid grudges and do it for the team.

And he does! And mind you, that was on the first episode of season 3! He decided to put away his petty feelings so the team could work, which pretty much already tells you that meanwhile early s3 Nickel has as much snark as S2 Nickel does, he actually recognizes when it's time to play on the game and when it's time to be petty. He's more of an nuisance towards Balloon on the first ep all things considered, but it seems that unlike S2, Balloon has grown a lot of confidence as well, and isn't sad at Nickel's comments, but rather calls him out on them. And even IF Nickel didn't exactly like to side with Balloon, as the eps went by, despite Box was the main reason as to why they were hanging out, Nickel was actually experiencing Balloon's change. He didn't want to be involved on s2 because BB told him that his distaste was justified (and that ended up messing everything for the Grand Alliance), but now he's "forced" to accept and know the guy because Box told him it was the best for the team. On early s3 they tease eachother, yes, but their relationship seems to be better than before.

As well, it wasn't out of nowhere either way, since Balloon does imply that both Nickel and him hanged around just to mess with Yinyang back at the Hotel.

That's my main reason as to why I think that Nickel DID read the letter in fact, but still had very complicated feelings towards Balloon, because in his mind, to him, Balloon was the reason as to why Suitcase, someone who Nickel really got attached to (even if you can't believe it), "betrayed" him. But we know that's not true. But at the end of the day they do end up hanging around well.

"But Max, why did they end up having a fall again? Aren't they supposed to be healthy?"

First of all there is a reason, second of all, oh my god conflict won't fucking kill you. You see. Nickel SUCKS at communication. He can't let out his feelings as much as he would like to do so, because he's scared of getting hurt and such. So yes, Nickel and Balloon were good friends there, but the down fall was necessary for them in order to ACTUALLY be a healthy friendship. The problem is that Nickel doesn't get that he fucked up a lot more than he thought and that he is the problem.

He still thinks that Suitcase left his side because of Balloon and of course that hurts- but he feels so bad about the way he treated Suitcase as well, even if he's not fully aware of why he feels like that. So that's why the conflict HAD to exist. You can't just expect them to be okay like nothing without talking about S2 properly, it doesn't work like that. Yes, they both care about eachother, but they STILL had to talk about it.

Now, on the yet, most controversial scene when it comes to Nickel's arc: Clover's therapy.

Some people say that Nickel didn't have to just be talked like that and that they expected more, but dare I say, that's exactly what he needed. To talk properly about his feelings. It's like you guys didn't catch up on that. Nickel's thing is being overprotective over those he loves, and seeing the things that might harm said loved ones or himself as threats that he needs to get rid off in order to be okay, and that he is afraid of change. Nickel knew he messed things up, but he still kept on thinking that Balloon was the one that made Suitcase betray him, when that's not really true.

He needed the talk to realize that it was truly his fault. Please take note at the way he looks to the side once he realizes it. It wasn't just a recent thought, it was always there, but he was scared of it coming true. Clover's talk made him open up properly about it and Clover also says it, "but don't you want to?" and then he says "mhm, maybe", but he really does want to, which is why he changes so much on Ep 16.

So before you say that Nickel didn't regret what he did and that he only did because of Clover: how can you be so wrong about something.

And, oh.

Oh, episode 16.

It treated them so well.

What Nickel says here is that he was scared of falling in Balloon's tricks, he was scared of being manipulated. Again. It wasn't out of nowhere. The way he treated Balloon WASN'T out of nowhere.

Is it justified? No. Does II or Nickel himself ever say that it is? No. The series as a whole is telling you that it was awful of him, characters do call out Nickel on his shit behaviour (even if you think they don't, they do, calling out isn't always strong words, sometimes calling out acts as feedback. as pointing things out. of course he also gets called out in the other way on the series, but PLEASE don't say that he didn't get called out because of his actions, he quite literally died because of them), Nickel HIMSELF recognizes that he was awful to Balloon and he is okay with the possibility of Balloon not wanting to forgive him either way.

But they ended up talking things out in the end. They ended up okay, because Balloon can genuinely see that Nickel wants to change. The walls he put are gone. He can see how genuine the guy wants to be.

"But Balloon shouldn't forgive Nickel, not after all the pain he caused to him"

Listen. Both of them commited mistakes. Balloon recognizes that he wasn't a good person back then and wanted to change things. Nickel finally got that and Nickel also showed Balloon that he does mean well. People that had complicated relationships CAN work things out, crazy I know, and I'm saying this as someone who had beef with their now best friend over similar stuff. We apologized and now we're close. It happens.

Balloon really cares about Nickel. And Nickel really cares about Balloon.

And Nickel is okay with Balloon winning because that's his friend now. Nickel changed for the good. And it makes sese character wise.

Nickel regrets what he did to Suitcase and Balloon as a whole. And Balloon and him are best friends now.

So, no, Balloon and Nickel aren't a toxic relationship, much less a problematic ship given all of the circumnstances, and saying that they are is missing on the whole arc they went through. They were complicated and they both had their reasons at the end of the day. No, Nickel wasn't purposefully an asshole to Suitcase, he was seeking to protect her, but ruined everything on the process. Yes, Baseball and Nickel needed to be separated in order to grow because they weren't healthy to eachother. Yes, the Nickel and Balloon arc had to go as long as it did in order for it to end properly, and it's not even done yet, Baseball and Suitcase are still waiting. Yes, Nickel meant good with the things he did. No, it doesn't justify any of the things he did. And, finally, the Grand Alliance arc is well executed, just because it's complicated it doesn't mean it's bad.

And those are statements that can coexist.

Thank you for reading. :]

[cringefailcabitha]

Cabby and Bot in Spring on the Breakfast!

I've been thinking about Spring on the Breakfast and the clumsy way it handles Cabby's memory disorder and how that handling makes it a little harder to deal with what is going on between Cabby and Bot. And I kind of want to share my interpretation of some of what was going on:

By the beginning of Spring on the Breakfast, Cabby has been back in the game for 3 challenges, her return coming 2 episodes after Bot discovers the circumstances surrounding their creation. At this point, most of the remaining contestants, Bot included, do not see Cabby in a positive light. In particular, Bot's opinions about Cabby are heavily informed by what Test Tube has told them about her, and the general attitude of the other contestants towards her. Cabby, on her part, only figures out the circumstances of Bot's creation somewhere during episodes 11 and 13, and the two spend little time together before Spring on the Breakfast. Though not for lack of trying, Bot continues to be the contestant Cabby knows the least about by far, and that's what they are both working with when they are paired up for the Springtastic challenge. Let’s skip ahead a bit:

And Cabby obliges. Now, on one hand, there is an attitude towards Cabby and the files in the show that goes almost completely unchallenged up to this point that initially makes this scene feel like it's just piling onto that. Bot has already shared false information with Cabby under the impression that she doesn't care about them as a person, so this scene feels like a continuation of that thought process; an insinuation that Cabby immediately moving to write down Bot's words is an uncaring, or at least misguided gesture.

On the other hand, we can consider why Bot responds the way they do to Cabby's question. Firstly, the fact that they are willing to answer this question at all is notable and indicative of their changing opinions about Cabby. Bot quickly becomes defensive when Cabby questions the dissonance between Test Tube's presence upsetting them enough to hide from her, and the positive relationship she thought they had. This moment makes it clearer how reluctant Bot is to confront how they feel about Test Tube. (Small note but I think that even though Cabby wasn't there for The Confrontation in episode 8 and never worked with "Bot" before episode 14, one could argue that Cabby of all people having zero clue about Bot's complicated feelings towards Test Tube is also testament to their aversion to admitting it). So of course in the moment they don't want Cabby to write it down because it's intensely personal for them and they are ashamed for even feeling that way about the people who created them in the first place. Additionally, Cabby has said multiple times in previous episodes that she will share any information she has if asked; In this instance it's not unreasonable that Bot ends up requesting this.

Cabby, when asked, then shares some intensely personal information of her own, that she, too, has never shared with anyone else. This sort of exchange is common when forming an emotional bond with someone and I think it's the point where Bot goes from just doubting the negative things Test Tube and others have said about Cabby to fully deciding those things weren't true, While also starting to feel a lot safer around her. And at this point they share more about themselves, without Cabby writing any of it down. Afterwards:

This. It's very reasonable to be put off by the way this scene is framed, knowing that Cabby needs the files to remember things. It gives the impression that Cabby no longer using the files since the people around her can just remind her of things would be a positive thing. Which is an unpleasant message that encourages her to give up her independent nature and leave a lot of her perception of events up to the whims of the people around her. In fact, Cabby's takeaway from her interactions with Bot leads to her deciding not to rely on her files in the subsequent episode, in service of not making others uncomfortable, and even with encouragement she seeks permission from Bot to use her files.

However, one can also view this scene as Bot trying to convey they feel safe and comfortable enough around Cabby to want her to write about them. Not as them saying, "I'll tell you again so you don't need to write it down", but as them saying, "I'll tell you again so you can write it down". It is frustratingly indirect, as Bot tends to be at times, so it isn't a very obvious way to take it, but Bot seemingly having prepared a new folder for Cabby to write about them in between their elimination and Blue Buried supports this idea. Further, in preparing that folder, Bot tries to engage with Cabby on her level and show that they want to understand her, instead of further convincing Cabby that she can only make friends if she stops relying on her files that she needs, that she enjoys writing, and that are an important part of her identity. Bot choosing to get closer to Cabby is also a symbol of them breaking away from the expectations Test Tube places on them in that doing so directly contradicts Test Tube's sentiment towards Cabby and desire to keep Bot away from her. Test Tube keeping Bot away from Cabby in previous episodes is meant to be seen as part of Test Tube trying to hide the truth from Bot, and Bot deciding to form a bond with Cabby irrespective of what Test Tube thinks about her can be seen as them accepting and welcoming the truth. All of these things are important for Bot to do as a character whose development is centered around them finding and being proud of their own identity.

And in a way, if you interpret this scene as Bot wanting Cabby to write about them, it is also representative of Bot becoming more secure in their identity. Cabby's goal is to keep accurate data, and though she can and does change that data when new information becomes available to her, the act itself of writing things down can make things feel more concrete. So Bot inviting Cabby to write about them next time almost becomes an invitation to have that information be "official" because they feel surer about who they are,

[lilacs-stash]

Finally finished my BB & Nickel analysis! It's up on YT now

[asphodelzthornz]

Ii17 spoilers…

Knife and suircase promised theyd come back for 3gs and now hes waitinf but rheyll never come back cause they literally got deleted dont fucking ralk to me BEOO

[themicrophoneii]

My thoughts about Taco and Mic on episode 14 copied and pasted from discord:

(Autism warning undercut)

''this episode is very important for both taco and mic, and especially mic. So, like I have told you already, mic is a complicated one. Knife goes right to her, and in his own words is in a 'generous mood' and so he tells her to well, stop. To in his on words ''have some dignity'' mic simply says that her and taco are equals, she has a voice, no one is shutting her down and she isn't just being dragged along by her. Which, is true. However, knife simply says ''well...I guess you are pretty in synch'' leaving her, confused. Mic is someone that dwells on things I'd like to believe, and so knife's words very clearly get right through her. We have established since the start that mic is at her core really insecure, I didn't told you this but the moment she got the praise, approval and attention she wanted from her team thanks to taco- she was smug about it, had no problem with saying weird stuff about her teammates in order to make herself look better- her confidence skyrocket tremendously and for the first time she seemed to hold herself in a better regard than when she did back then, but in episode 14 there is absolutely none of that, mic's confidence has been completely shattered, test tube is angry at her for stealing her stuff (understandably so) and clearly doesn't trust her for her annoyance, her body language is awkward small, and maybe that's because this is how she feels, I believe test tube's anger and distrust of her was probably some blow to her ego and the way she viewed herself. Overall she is just, pretty exhausted in this episode and this time is easier for knife's words to get through her because of that, she is tired, and worried and even though she wants to believe taco- even though she has learnt to see a new side of taco, people often forget that she still didn't fully know her despite this. She knew now that taco does hide big feelings from her, she supresses them since they are clearly a sour subject for her, and so mic doesn't bring up the portal again. But now that they are here, and knife's words get through she feels above all- insecure. Even despite this her vision is clouded by her exhaustion and doubts she is scared, scared that knife is right, that she truly doesn't mean anything to her that she truly is dragging her along- that despite everything they went through together, she doesn't really see her as her friend.

And so, just like episode 12 she goes to taco, for reassurance, she asks her to please not use violence when they go to get fan, she wants her to promise her not to. She is insecure and scare and doubtful and so she goes to taco and hopes that she does something that proves knife wrong. Taco, gently puts away her hand, tells her that ''teamwork prevailed'' and wished to not promised anything because she wasn't sure if she could. They both smile, and get to the spaceship and it happens. She shoots fan and test tube- mic startled and enraged jumps in the way of taco's guns knowing that she wouldn't hurt her, the latter's gun faltering for just a moment and lowering down. When mic yells at her saying this wasn't part of the plan taco says back to her that aliens rarely are part of the plan and so she sends her to grab fan's body and go back into the competition grounds and she does

everyone is cheering, happy, except test tube of course. Is an scenario that mic dreamed about, dreamed to have, but never through these circumstances. She looks at the crowd with horrified eyes as taco's voice chimes in ''See? this is why you listen to me mic, delectable isn't it? finally...a taste of recognition finally I can finally-'' she cuts her off with a ''is that what you said to pickle?''

yeah this is not truly what she wanted was she? she yearned for approval? yes, for praise? of course. But she never truly wanted to hurt people- kill people to be more exact. It will surprise you the amount of people who don't truly dissect this scene on mic's part. Mic doesn't view herself in a good light, she never truly did, the perception she has of herself alongside her self-esteem is heavily dictated by what others think of her. And right now mic feels miserable, her confidence had already been shattered but in these moments what she thought of herself what she thought of taco the little good redeeming qualities she thought of herself to have are completely gone they have burnt away to a crisp. Her core belief is, doing things because they are the right thing to do. But in these moments- even though she wasn't the one to shoot test tube, to shoot fan, she still allowed it to happen, she truly didn't do ''the right thing to do'' this time around did she? test tube was right, she is a fraud, she is untrustworthy- and in her eyes she is horrible. Episode 14 hurts a lot from her perspective because not only she felt betrayed by someone she loved the self-esteem she managed to somehow ''fix'' for at least a little while has been dragged through the mud and right now, mic is small, and mic is useless and mic is someone that she herself is unable to be proud of.

I thought the reason she even cut off taco in the first place was mainly because of what knife told her. Again she was doubtful and insecure and was afraid that maybe he was right, her brain tormenting her with all those ''what if's'' of her situation, and so she went to taco looking for reassurance, reassurance that she would actually listen, reassurance that she actually values her. But to her this moment was the last straw, to her this was the confirmation that taco really didn't cared enough, that didn't saw her as a friend, that taco truly was dragging her along, as viewers we come to understanding- or well most people come to the understanding that this is really not true, mic is taco's entire world, I didn't mention it here but it was confirmed in a stream that she did all of these stuff out of fear, she feared microphone was doing all the work in the alliance and she wanted to prove herself to her, she wanted to show her she was useful- and its very coincidental that all of this happened the exact moment when I believe taco began seeing mic as a true actual genuine friend. She didn't only wanted to prove herself to her she wanted to show her that she was reliable, that her ideas worked, and that microphone could rely on her because she was her friend but of course, mic didn't know that, and there wasn't really a way for her to know that. She only scratched the surface with taco, she only truly knew so much of her because taco has a knack for hiding herself behind walls to prevent anyone to truly see her for who she really is, she tries to make herself look as an imposing and mighty villain but the truth is that is not really her, she is acting- that is another facade she truly is small and to an extend, scared- and most importantly, alone. It's understandable that mic didn't know what as an audience we know, and even then a lot of people fell through the misconception that she did so it really shows how hard taco herself can be to read sometimes, if even the people who are meant to dismantle her facade are falling for it. And so I believe that had knife not told her that she probably would have given taco an earful, but mic was tired in this and mic was scared and doubtful and not in a good place and so she weaponizes- her past relationship with people against her to hit a nerve, when she is hurt she hurts the other person twice as hard as shown in the same show with cheesy. Just like taco relapsed and fell back into old habits mic also relapsed and fell back into old habits she tried to leave behind because she was exhausted. My friend told me it really felt almost as if she was splitting on her and yeah I can see it, I feel if her mind was clearer in the moment she wouldn't have cut her off like she did maybe distance herself but not cut her off, but because she was tired and rightfully hurt, she just hurt the person she is cannonically the closest to, and makes the choice to leave the show behind. She looks 'relieved' but, I know that the moment she went through the elimination portal and got to the hotel, she broke down days later. I know because sometimes I say or do things that hurt other people when I perceive they hurt me and I regret it later and I feel she probably felt guilty afterwards. But that is so much about mic, what about taco? well

Taco has been lonely, for most of her life. She is hurt- and bitter and yet she regrets with all her soul what she has done. Her core trait is her guilt.

what can I say about taco in this scene? I talked to you about her motivations already, why she did what she did, the way she hides herself behind walls the way she avoids vulnerability almost as if it was poisonous venom to her. More than anyone she hates vulnerability, she does not enjoy looking weak, she does not like when people try to pry into her true feelings and its something that shines a lot in the episode next to this one, she answers to any attempt of trying to crack her open with either dismissal or anger. She does not like, being seen as who she is. Someone small, who needs help. This moment is the moment taco begins to be at her absolute lowest, I will remind you taco at her very core is lonely and she has been lonely for a VERY long time, microphone is the first one to truly see her- 'true self' and still want to remain by her side anyways, and defend her and she enjoyed her company she enjoyed being close to her she enjoyed being by her side as well and she truly held her in a high regard compared to other people, for then this same first genuine friend fading away into the distance right in front of her very own eyes, and so she is left destroyed and hurt and lonely and she doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. Taco's determination that is seen multiple times throughout the series was her downfall it backfired on her. Relentlessly sending letters to pickle in attempts to fix things with him for two years? had the complete opposite effect and it just didn't allowed pickle to properly move on from her and it ended up making him more resentful of her than she already was. Trying to meddle with the competition so she could get some of what she felt was stolen from her no matter the cost? completely destroyed her mental health and made her dig herself into a hole far deeper than before- so deep, she doesn't feel she can climb out of it. Trying to get mic immunity to not only prove a point but to show her she could rely on her? well...you already know the answer. There is of course SO much more to her than just that without counting episode 15 that is an episode solely focused on her, but this is as far as I'll talk with them because I'd like to get to episode 15 with you someday

right now, taco is hurt, and grieving and so awfully miserable. She has believed herself to be nothing but a villain a wretched creatured undeserving of redemption, and yet despite everything mic stayed, mic loved her and mic valued her. For then her to disappear because of one mistake that cost her everything. She is now truly alone and she is not coping well with it. Once again she just completely lost everything and she is too tired to fight to get it back this time, and so she disappear into the distance and we didn't know anything of her for like at least 4 years.

of course there is SO much more of her than this but, this is how I am going to leave it by now, they are both so tragic because they have cannonically been closer than anyone else in the series, they were both hurting and lonely and relied in each other to make up what the other lacked, taco deep deep down truly just wanted company, and mic just wanted to feel actually valued by someone, it was truly the right person at the most awful wrong time.''

[ratvic]

Havent seen anybody talk about this frame (yes this literal less than one second frame) I love it so much, it's so cute.

[puzzled-pegasus]

So you know that running joke on the Argo II about how Percy eats so much and from everyone else's POV it's seen as quirky or unusual? It's quite possible that his open enthusiasm about food is weird to the others because he's actually the only one who's normal/healthy abt food.

Think about it. Leo's been through food insecurity and he may have issues with it because of the way his body looks. He's also a workaholic and generally probably doesn't really have a very good sense of when or what he needs to eat to feel better. Annabeth might be similar, not being able to sense her hunger cues very well because of Trauma (TM) and the way she gets sucked into her hyperfixations.

Piper and Frank might both be conscious about their weight, Piper because of bullying and her Hollywood environment and Frank because he's always been so big naturally and his grandmother probably verbally abused the hell out of him for his weight.

I think Jason skips meals as a form of self-punishment if he doesn't feel like he's earned it. He also wants to make sure everyone else on his team has had what they want to eat before he gets to have any.

Hazel straight up lived in the depression, so food was probably rationed. She was also a girl in the 40s and body shaming was on a whole other level of ridiculous back then so I can't blame her for feeling like she needs to restrict for a few reasons.

And then there's Percy, whose mother did the best she could to make sure her son had a healthy relationship with eating and food. She didn't always have money, but she showed her love through food and treats as much as she could and together they created their blue food tradition. This means that Percy now is excited about food and can probably better measure his hunger cues than anyone else on that ship. This is a good thing not only for him, but if he shows confidence in the way he eats what he likes until he's satisfied and stops when he's full, it might give his friends social cues that they're allowed to eat like he does.

Percy, of course, would be happy to know he's helping them...but right now, he's too excited about those pancakes.

@manygeese @just-call-mefr1es @monarch-of-weird-girlboy-nation @jasonisntboring @erosjournal

[aroaceleovaldez]

i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:

You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.

You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.

You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.

You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.

You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.

You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.

You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.

[wwwhateveryouwant]

i think the main reason people didnt like the brothel scene with aemond was because they could no longer precieve him as a dominant man. i think that people truly are not watching because they enjoy the characters and the plotlines. they’re watching cause they’re attracted to characters, so they’re molding them to what they like personally. aemond was depicted as a child who was bullied and abused (s wordly and emotionally). the writing for his character is probably one of the most realistic in the show. he grew up being denied the things he wanted and forced into things he didnt want. its all hes ever known. of course when hes hurting hes not gonna go give somebody fucking backshots hes gonna crawl back to someone who already knows him. this is really a useless rant but i just think it’s interesting how people perceive people they’re attracted to. completely changing his character to fit the narrative of some 50 shades of gray shit when truly hes a teenage boy who’s incredibly traumatized.

[fansblogs]

the most important thing to know about fan ii forever is that the narrative never punishes him. it favors him, in fact. it favors this ugly fucker. can you believe it.

in all seriousness though, this is part of what makes fan so intriguing. you are supposed to look at his actions and pity him instead of condemning him, as that’s what the narrative encourages of you. fan is only ever seen in a comedic or misunderstood light, even when his actions are legitimately harmful. he only apologizes for these actions when he is cornered, and deems other harm he has done that went without penalty as completely justifiable on his part even if it is not. he’s very entitled, and the narrative just endorses that.. and my, is it wonderful!

it’s endlessly fascinating to me, and it’ll never fail to be! make no mistake, this is not a criticism of the writing for ii, i truly do find this premise very endearing. even other characters that the narrative does intend for you to like such as oj have moments where their fallacies are painted as what they are- harmful! but fan’s is not, and it allows him to get away with what other characters do not without being antagonistic. bit of a tirade here, but it’s always so wonderful looking past the veil of what the show WANTS you to feel about fan, as doing so reveals much more about him.

[drawingoddessy]

Hyper-analysis of Lightbulb season 2 episode 12

Part 2

And cue escapism.

She sees this and most likely got reminded of the game back home.

She literally recoils.

But then she shakes it off because in this reality she doesn’t have to worry about that. She’s willing to stay here forever. The lyric “I’m finally feeling free” insinuates that this is the first time she feels not trapped in her role.. Maybe doing this challenge 2 seasons in a row, with growing tension and emotions makes Lightbulb feel trapped within her persona of “the silly one”.

More escapism!

This entire song just talks about how Lightbulb is finally happy with the reality she made. It was her escape from the stressful life of competing. Here she no longer is the only one thats impulsive and unserious. Unlike how in the reality she's in where she is surround so many different personalities, where she clashes with her friends and fails to connect with others due to her "oddness"

But here she won't ever fail at a relationship, not if they are all like her.

After the song we cut to Lightbulb talking to the Inanimate Insanity Infinity. We see Lightbulb attempting to confide in them.

This is first time (to my knowledge) that we rlly see Lightbulb vent to others. She probably never wanted to vent to the others because she didn’t want to show her more sad side. Maybe she doesn’t think they can cheer her up? But these people are just like her, so maybe they’ll know how to?

Until they start spewing nonsense to her.. mirroring how Lightbulb usually attempts to help. This shows her directly how her methods are percieved by others.

Yk how I said they’re just like lightbulb? Well.. they do miss one thing.

Testtube can also symbolize Lightbulbs own logic and emotional side (and vice versa, the arc’s parallel).

Eliminating the logical, emotional ones can possibly symbolize exactly what Lightbulb does to her own negative emotions. She purges them only allowing the silly ones to stay and be present.

They get snapped to Elimination, the thing Lightbulb hates.

As much as she wishes to stay in this ideal world. She sees Testtube in danger and she goes to put a stop. This is when Lightbulb tries to gently and lightheartedly stop them because that’s what she’s used to. This can also be her actually trying to be serious but struggles to do so.

This is the best place to talk about what I mean when the contestants miss one thing..

They miss Lightbulbs negative human feelings. The ones Lightbulb doesn’t want to have. But remaining 2 dimensional and unemotional make the contestants off and inhuman. Did she really want to be like that? So positive all the time to the point shes inhuman? This is how she is seen by the other contestants, overly happy, unserious.

She then realizes.. sometimes goofiness needs a balance and gets serious (in her own way). She tries to be serious-

-But they keep laughing.

LOOK AT THAT FACE- anyways I feel like another problem Lightbulb has is the fear of not being taken seriously due to her abnormal nature. And this is apparent in this one frame. The face shows as if she was proven right. They won’t take her seriously.

Testtube begins to get angry at lightbulb for her nonsense just like Paintbrush.

She begins to feel a negative emotion and instantly redirects it to something funny, because she probably now thinks that Testtube won’t take her seriously like everyone in here. That and

Another instance of people thinking she’s just nonsensical idiot that stumbles into solutions.

Ok so a bit to unpack. So it’s shown that Testtube struggles socially but we see that she’s better at emotional connection (shown in future episodes more of and later in this episode) Meanwhile Lightbulb tends to be social but struggle with emotionality. Lightbulb tries hard to understand and comfort others when in need but tends to not be good at it.. She does try. And contrary to Testubes belief, she fails, a lot. Evident in her relationship with Paintbrush. People find her insufferable, and she knows it. Another reason to escape to this future.

Onto the solution! This entire solution is a projection of how lightbulb began to see herself with paintbrush.

Paintbrush was the one that tried the hardest and “took care” of competition for the team (like how they say salt does to anger pepper)

Lightbulb sat back and goofed off.

Paintbrush was the evident leader of the group even though Lightbulb was the designated leader.

And in lightbulbs point of view that’s what she thinks others viewed her as, a parasite that latches on.

Previous part ———Next Part

[microknifeyuri]

Character Analysis Masterpost:

The Grand Alliance (Nickel/Suitcase/Balloon/Baseball):

1. Nickel's and Balloon's arc.

2. Nickel as a character.

3. Suitcase and Nickel.

4. Suitcase and Nickel pt 2.

The Grand Slams:

1. Microphone's and Taco's arc and how it's misinterpretated and sugarcoated on fanon heavily (will get a remake at one point).

2. Knife character study.

The Bright Lights:

1. Lightbulb character study.

Meeple:

1. Mephone4's love language.

Ship Analysis:

1. Nickloon, Lightbrush, etc.

Other II related analysis:

1. Taco's character flaws and how the fandom doesn't get her because of sugarcoating.

TDOS:

1. Cobalt Blue as a character and Computer's unknown powers.

[tessarionbestgirl]

Alicent & her kids.

Exactly, everything she despite about herself she sees on Aegon and Aemond. Aegon her softness and emotional side that she sees as weakness. Aemond is her vengefulness and rage that she find ugly. She loves and despite them both for it.

Helaena is the innocence she lost. She tries to protect and feel guilty of her lost. Daeron is her spelling image that she can't even look at.

[fredshroomz]

Thinking about how in ancient Rome, the wealthy were pretty much hairless. Waxed, shaved, creamed, softened, stripped of body hair until smooth. I think of that, and I think of our favorite little guy.

HE’S SO COVERED IN HAIR!!!!!

This makes me think that Caracalla either didn’t care to adhere to beauty and nobility standards of his time, OR he simply put up too much of a fuss to be made hairless. He probably got waxed once and then demanded that everyone who laid a hand on him that day be executed. How dare they inflict pain upon him, and in such a mundane way at that?

His legs, his chest, probably everywhere else that the sun doesn’t shine on. Geta is smooth like a baby, Caracalla refuses to have even a single square inch stripped clear. Maybe for especially important occasions, but even that would be a gamble.

Caracalla clearly gives no fucks about his public perception. Geta clearly cares extremely deeply. The common people wouldn’t know that their tyrant emperor doesn’t shave… But Geta knows, the slaves know, their guards and their whores know. It probably drives Geta up the fucking wall. His brother who doesn’t care about anything but his whims, and himself, tortured and shaking beneath the burden of false confidence. Of his leadership that boiled down to blindly scrambling for a solid surface in the dark. It puts these infinitely close individuals, who shared a womb and a childhood and their beatings and traumas, even further apart. I’m sick. I’m SICK.