#no hate to michael. he seems really nice but i can see why they decided to recast. and with a couple of the characters

[krackkokichi]

you guys are being so unfair to the new VAs just cause you're attached to the old ones. it's unfortunate that they weren't asked to return, but i'm sure there were reasons behind it. especially with a certain someone who, bless his heart, cannot sing (at least in a character voice), which is really bad for a musical show, and probably was a motivating factor in the recasting. instead of harping on the past and bothering the old VAs about it, why can't you just wait to see how things shake out in the show? you could grow to like the new people. we have only a few seconds of dialogue for most of the characters, so don't be so quick to pass judgment.

[jackiestarsister]

Thoughts while re-watching the live-action "Beauty and the Beast"

I am a huge fan of Beauty and the Beast, from the story by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve to Jean Cocteau's black-and-white film to Disney's animated movie and stage musical. When Disney's live-action remake came out in 2017, I was delighted by it, and failed to understand why so many people hated it. I've watched it a few times since then, but it has been a while, so I decided to give it a rewatch and take notes.

Be warned: this is pretty long!

My thoughts:

~ I love that the castle in the Disney intro is actually the Beast’s castle. On this watch, I noticed that it is topped with a statue that seems to be St. Michael slaying the devil/a monster, which is so appropriate for this story's symbolism!

~ Interesting that the first object seen is a rose being plucked. I assume that was the Enchantress’ hand? Did she pluck the flower from the prince’s own garden before entering the castle?

~ I love the way the servants are introduced in the prologue! Although they are in shadow, Cogsworth is there with his watch and Lumiere holds up a candelabra!

~ This film really leaned into the ostentation and extravagance of pre-revolution France, and it works so well in the context of this story about true inner beauty versus shallow, superficial appearance.

~ Is that Emma Thompson narrating the prologue? It sounds like her, but her accent is not the same as when she voices Mrs. Potts.

~ The actors must have had an interesting challenge acting out the curse scene, which has no audible dialogue between the Prince and the Enchantress!

~ I like that they added an explanation for why the villagers are unaware of the castle despite the relatively short distance between them.

~ I do not understand why people hate Emma Watson as Belle! She looks just right for the part, and while she is no Broadway-caliber singer, her voice is very pretty and she carries the songs quite well!

~ It almost looks like Belle is deliberately ignoring the people talking about her, marching past them as though trying not to care. But she stops to show kindness to the outcasts and the animals! She even waves to a criminal being escorted to jail!

~ I like that they gave Belle and Maurice one real friend, the local priest. I only wish he was a little more effective in his attempts to help them.

~ The entire sequence of “Belle” is just fantastic! It’s not easy to shoot such a complex scene with so many moving parts.

~ The trio of Gaston fangirls remind me of the silly younger sisters in Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility.

~ Although they made him an artist instead of an inventor, Maurice is still absentminded and a bit obsessive. It is easy to see how Belle would feel lonely despite his loving presence, since he is completely absorbed in his work.

~ Hearing that her mother was “fearless” might have inspired Belle’s own fearlessness later, first to save her father and then to save the Beast.

~ Why is Belle’s reader in English and not French? And why does she have a children’s book with her when she goes to do laundry? Did she hope to find someone to teach? Was she actually studying the English language?

~ Gaston crosses so many lines, literally and figuratively, when entreating Belle. And he does not even help her or defend her against the villagers’ abuse, he just tries to pressure her at a moment when she is upset and vulnerable.

~ It’s interesting that Gaston plays the “I can change” card, and Belle insists that “no one can change that much.” She will be proven wrong, but not by him!

~ The tree being struck by lightning and blocking Maurice’s path really makes his going to the castle seem like a result of magic or divine intervention!

~ Maurice seems remarkably calm throughout the wolf chase and when stumbling upon the castle!

~ The lamps held by sconces shaped like arms are a nice nod to Jean Cocteau’s 1946 film La Belle et La Bête!

~ I’m surprised that Maurice would feel bold enough to take a rose after being so spooked by Chip! It would make more sense if he either saw the animated objects and accepted their extraordinariness, or did not see anyone at all and assumed the inhabitants would remain hidden.

~ Maurice must have been coughing very loudly for Belle to hear him all the way in the foyer!

~ Belle holding the light up to see the Beast gives off Psyche and Cupid/Eros vibes!

~ “Forever can spare a minute” is an interesting choice of words considering the name of the song “How Does a Moment Last Forever.”

~ The Beast is so selfish and had such an unhealthy relationship with his own father that he cannot wrap his mind around Belle sacrificing herself for her father.

~ I like Ewan McGregor in general, but his French accent is ridiculous. I get that it’s in keeping with the original film, where Lumiere was the only character with a French accent, but aside from the English characters Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth, they’re all supposed to be French, so it doesn’t really make sense.

~ I don’t like that Lumiere is the one to give Belle a room, behind the Beast’s back. Giving her a room is supposed to be the Beast’s first gesture of decency and kindness toward Belle.

~ Lumiere is much shrewder and actually comes off smarter than Cogsworth, who is so by-the-book that he reveals the one place Belle ought not to go!

~ Belle’s expression when Madame la Garderobe dresses her up says, “I did not sign up for this!”

~ Belle’s simple beauty and country/provincial style contrasts strongly with her bedroom and the lavish style Madame tries to impose on her. That seems to be a kind of arc over the course of the film, with a sort of meeting in the middle by the end.

~ A big difference between the two films’ versions of “Gaston” is that here, LeFou pays the people in the tavern to play music and sing along, instead of everyone joining in freely! I like that, because it suggests that Gaston may not be as well-liked admired as he thinks.

~ When LeFou sings that he does not know how to spell Gaston’s name, it’s written right on the wall behind him!

~ Chip rolling around on his saucer in excitement reminds me of Aang on his air scooter! (Which is funny because I actually gave Aang the role of Chip in the Avatar/Beauty and the Beast crossover I wrote years before this movie came out.)

~ Why does Belle sit and hug her knees self-pityingly, in between moments when she is busy devising her escape? It’s pretty convenient timing for the Beast to see her that way in the mirror.

~ I'm sure it's been pointed out and laughed about before, but I find it quite funny that Emma Watson and Emma Thompson, who played Hermione and Prof. Trelawney in the Harry Potter films and had a whole scene involving tea leaves, got to act together in this film and dealt with teapots and teacups again!

~ Mrs. Potts’ advice about whether to listen to people when they are angry … makes sense when it comes to insults or harshness, but not when it comes to rules and boundaries.

~ Maestro Cadenza is so sassy! “Are there any other tasteless demands you wish to make upon my artistry?” I may need to use that next time I get a negative review for my work!

~ “This is France” followed by the knife falling like a guillotine made me laugh!

~ Lumiere seems clumsier, less confident, and more oblivious in this version of “Be Our Guest.”

~ Poor Belle can’t get a full bite of food while the staff objects are showing off! I choose to believe that after that performance, Mrs. Potts made sure she got to relax and eat a proper, comforting meal.

~ Belle breaking the rule about the West Wing feels more in-character in this version. Here, she is more headstrong, and she intends to break her word and leave. So it’s not just curiosity or fascination with the castle that drives her to investigate. She may be hoping to find out the Beast’s weakness and find a way to escape.

~ Belle is not very sneaky when going to the West Wing; her footsteps are very loud!

~ The Beast ruined the image of himself and his father, but he left his mother’s image intact!

~ If Philippe was still at the castle, how did Maurice get back to the village? Did he walk the whole way? There was no weird palanquin like in the animated movie.

~ The sequence of Belle, the Beast, and the wolves is kind of rushed. Even though it hits the same beats at the original scene, there is not a lot of room for the emotional reversals of the Beast going out to save Belle and her decision to save him in return, even though it costs her the chance of escape.

~ I’m glad that in this version, Maurice opposes Gaston as a suitor for Belle. He knows that the guy is bad news!

~ They gave the line “If you like it so much, then it’s yours,” originally part of the lyrics for “Belle,” to the Beast in the library scene!

~ Belle helps the Beast to see his home and possessions with new eyes, both because she is a newcomer seeing it for the first time, and because she reads with him. I like that a poem (“A Crystal Forest” by William Sharp) helps him look at the castle’s environment in a new way.

~ Belle literally lets sun into the castle when she cleans the windows!

~ The “something there” could have been friendship, but the fact that Mrs. Potts won’t tell Chip what it is makes me think it’s really sexual chemistry/attraction!

~ Has the Beast considered why laughter dies when he enters a room? Did that happen before the curse, or only after he became a beast? Is it because the staff are afraid of his temper, or of his monstrous appearance?

~ The magical book feels like a nod to the magical rooms Belle visits in the original story of “Beauty and the Beast”

~ Personally, I like that this version provides some backstory about Belle and the Beast’s parents. Belle’s journey thus entails not only new relationships but also healing and closure regarding past relationships. Losing their mothers at a young age becomes a point of commonality between Belle and the Beast. Learning of Belle’s mother’s sacrifice, urging Maurice to take their baby away for her safety, may have inspired the Beast’s willingness to let her go later.

~ I know it’s in keeping with the original film, but making Belle’s dress yellow creates a good contrast against the blue and white tones of her usual outfits and the wintry setting of the castle grounds.

~ The Beast’s smile when he sees Belle dressed for their dance is so soft and sweet!

~ The dance sequence is beautiful!!! They don’t look quite as happy and content as they do in the original, but somehow it feels appropriate to where they are at this point in their relationship. The choreography involves trust and teamwork, so it shows how much they have grown from where they began. Belle was not even willing to be in the same room as him, and now she is getting really close and letting him lift and twirl her!

~ I like that the Beast explicitly, if indirectly, broaches the subject of whether Belle could care about him, and that she affirms that she could. It’s more personal than just asking if she is happy there, which is a pretty odd question to ask someone who is technically a prisoner.

~ Unlike in the original, where the Beast is pained and takes a long moment to decide to let Belle go, in this version he says it immediately, almost without thinking.

~ Why doesn’t the coat holder (I think they call him M. Chapeau?) give Belle her cloak, at the very least, as she leaves?

~ “Evermore” is such a beautiful, powerful song! I realized that throughout it, the Beast keeps climbing higher in the castle so he can watch Belle as long as possible. My only criticism of the sequence is that the Beast’s CGI face does not emote very much. Some of the lyrics are pretty angsty, but his expression is almost stoic. Maybe he is supposed to be at peace with losing Belle?

~ How long did everyone stay in the tavern while the asylum carriage was summoned? Why do the villagers have torches at that point? And why do they all follow Gaston’s lead?

~ The magic mirror’s actual glass is quite small and clouded! The images aren’t clear at all.

~ The standoff with Gaston is a bit awkward in its direction, but the actual “Mob Song” sequence is excellent! And this was the first time I wondered: is it meant to be an allusion to the mob mentality of the French Revolution?

~ Cogworth’s “man the barricades” has got to be a Les Misérables reference, and “third-rate musketeers” must be a Three Musketeers reference!

~ Do the household objects sing part of the “Mob Song”? Did they do that in the original movie too?

~ How did Belle carry the magic mirror and her mother’s rose thingy while riding her horse? She doesn’t seem to have any kind of bag on her. Does her ballgown have pockets?

~ Maurice and Belle’s scene in the wagon is so sweet. He seems to be convinced a little too quickly about the Beast becoming kind, but it underscores how much he trusts and supports her.

~ It’s not exactly original, but Belle turning a fashion accessory into a tool is so in-character!

~ LeFou mockingly talking to Chip and Mrs. Potts reminds me of Olaf, another Josh Gad character, pretending to address the rock trolls in Frozen!

~ I swear, Maestro Cadenza’s music as he pins LeFou down sounds like “The Imperial March (Darth Vader’s Theme)”!

~ Great symbolism of books being used as weapons against the literacy-hating townsfolk!

~ If Madame de Garderobe and Maestro Cadenza were able to come out of their respective rooms to participate in the battle, why weren’t they able to see each other sooner?

~ Where did Belle get that jacket? Was it Maurice’s?

~ Although it was shown earlier in the movie, I think the castle crumbling should have been revisited the night of the dance. It seems too random when it happens during the climactic fight.

~ I like that Belle participates in the fight, taking away Gaston’s weapons and trying to protect the Beast.

~ The “death” of all the household items … it’s like the writers asked, “How can we make the Beast’s death even more devastating than it already is?”

~ I like how the rose petals become part of the Beast’s transformation. But the transformation itself seems a bit rushed. In the animated movie and stage musical, it’s a pretty long sequence with a lot of awe and emotion. But I guess there’s only so much you can do with the live-action medium.

~ Mrs. Potts’ first name is Beatrice?!

~ As a human, Chip has a tooth missing, like his chipped rim!

~ It looks like Madame de Garderobe and Maestro Cadenza ditched their wigs and decided to wear their natural hair after the curse broke!

~ I had not realized that Gugu Mbatha-Raw was in this movie until now, after seeing her in Loki!

~ There are many beautiful shots of the sky throughout the film!

~ The score is so beautiful! I love that it weaves in melodies of songs from the original movie, the stage musical, and the new movie.

My conclusion: it’s not perfect, but it is a beautiful movie and a wonderful retelling of a classic story that long predates Disney’s interpretation!

[rey-writez]

ok so this story is can be found on wattpad rather than ao3 just cause i find the format of ao3 to be confusing ANYWAY who's up for some lost boys fanfiction?

CHERRY RED

My whole family hated that we were moving. At least my brothers did. Honestly, I was just excited though. I mean being stuck in the same small town all my 16 years of living really makes a person want to get out sometimes. Or maybe its just my innate wanderlust. What can I say? It’s tough.

“Yeah Claud, keep sulking out the window, it’ll help,” Michael quipped.

“Oh my god, I was not ‘sulking’ you dipwad.”

“Claudia, don’t call your brother a dipwad.” my mom sighed,

An hour later, we arrived at our new home. It was small and cute. Me and my brothers rushed to claim our rooms. I found one at the end of a winding hallway. It had a large bay window with a clear view of the sea. Perfect. Just then I heard a rush of footsteps and Sam busted in.

“Do you mind?” I scoffed.

“Boo, I wanted this room.” he rolled his eyes and I crossed my arms.

“Snooze you loose.”

“Oh well. Hey, me and Michael were going to the boardwalk tonight, you know, get to know the city more. Wanna tag along?” Sam questioned. I bit my lip and thought about it. I mean would I rather stay in to unpack more or go out… Yeah, I’m going out.

“Alright, I’m in. Now get out doofus!” and I hit him with a pillow playfully. Now time to unpack. I grabbed all the boxes inscribed with Claudia. There were 2. So I started with the first one. It was a bit heavier than the other one but I managed it. Soon enough I had a well decorated room and a nice squashy bed.

“Come on Claud, we’re leaving!”

“Mike I’ll be ready in a second” I shouted in return. Scrambling to my newly organized closet, I chose my outfit. I wore a white tank, denim shorts, and a long yellow cardigan. I slipped on my favorite pair of Converse and left for the boardwalk.

The boardwalk was more crowded than ever. I almost felt dizzy with the amount of input I was getting at once. But I kept going and kept exploring. I was all on my own looking around, Mike was off chasing some girl and Sam was in a comics shop, so I ended up wandering around. The boardwalk seemed to glow in the pale moonlight. I loved it. My aimless stroll was halted when I stumbled across a stand selling churros and other boardwalk food. I decide to buy a churro and a coke. The kid selling them almost looked dead inside. I walked over to a bench and began eating. Just then, a blonde curly-haired boy sat on the bench. He was the guy standing behind me when I was in line for my food. The guy who I could tell was kind of into me, and honestly, I was kind of into him too.

“Hey,” I said, breathy. “I like your jacket.” God, I bet he noticed how flustered I was. But then I noticed he was almost a little flustered too. Aww.

“Thanks, cutie.” His smile was goofy, yet comforting. “I’ve never seen you around here before, are you knew here?”

“Yeah. I just moved.”

“Nice, nice. So do you like it here? In Santa Carla?”

“Yeah, I love the beach. And I love traveling.” He nodded and seemed like he was a bit fidgety.

We ended up sitting there, just chatting. He was kind. He was funny. God, I was falling hard.

Then, I glanced around, looking for Michael. It was getting a bit late and I was thinking about heading home.

“Ugh— where is he?” I couldn’t find him anywhere so I guess he just wandered off. I was thinking about asking him to drive around town, cause boardwalks were never my favorite.

“Where is who?” He asked.

“Oh, my brother.”

“You have a brother?”

“Is that surprising?” I smirked at him and raised my eyebrows.

“No, I mean…” he trailed off and looked a bit flustered. “Why are you looking for him?”

“Was gonna see if he would drive me around town.”

“Why so?” He asked.

“You ask a lot of questions!” I sarcastically joked with a smirk on my face. “See boardwalks were never really my style.”

He nodded and sat in silence for a short minute.

“I could drive you around.” My face stayed normal, but inside I was ecstatic. This cute guy on the boardwalk just asked me if he could hang out with me.

“Okay, sure!” I tried not to sound too excited. This was the first time I had found real love since… Well whatever.

“Alright, come with me.” He stood up and shrugged away from the bench. I stood up and threw my trash away and followed him.

“Y’know, I never caught your name.” He said.

“It’s Claudia.” I said, smiling at him.

“Claudia. Claudia’s a nice name.” He muttered, looking up at the stars. “My name’s Marko.” I nodded.

“Well, nice to meet you Marko.” I chuckled and keep walking along side him. It was nice.

Marko lead me over to a crowded parking lot. I’m the middle, there were a couple of motorcycles. I assume the more colorful one was his.

Just then a curly-haired dark boy caught my eye. Michael? I wanted to yell. He was flirting with a girl. The same girl he was chasing at the beginning of the night. At least I notice my goddamn sibling. I thought.

There were 3 other boys there too. A brunette boy, a long haired sleazy one, and finally one who definitely looked like a leader. He had a short blonde mullet and a light stubble. Well. Let’s see were this might takes us.

“Mind if we go to my buddies hangout? Don’t worry, they’re chill. " Marko said warmly. The blonde shot me a big toothy grin.

“See, that’s Paul. And you see him? The other blonde? That’s David. And finally we got Dwayne. They’re basically my brothers. " he grinned. “You ready, Claudia? " I nodded.

The ride was mostly a blur. Marko turning around to give me big Chessy Cat grin while I return it and wrap my arms around him in order to hold on.

Finally, we were at his friends place.

LOOKING FOR MORE CHERRY RED?

MORE COMING SOON!

[shannendoherty-fans]

1993 - Shannen Doherty portrayed by Michael Comte for the November 1993 issue of Vanity Fair.

Brat on a Hot Tin Roof (Part 3)

Shannen doesn’t believe in hell. *‘I only believe in heaven,’’ she says, sitting by her pool. ‘‘My theory on it is that He’s our father, and no matter how many wrongdoings I do, I don’t see how He could have His child burn in eternal hell." She tosses a tennis ball into the pool for her dogs to retrieve. “I tend to think hell is where we are right now,” she adds," in the sense that there are so many struggles that we face.”

Which is why she has decided not to pose nude for Playboy, one of the ‘struggles’ she has struggled with lately. They were offering her a reported $300,000-plus. “They’re really nice people, but I just can’t do it,” she says. ‘‘I mean, what do these men do with Playboy? You always hear stories about them. You know, about men jerking off to Playboy in the bathroom. And that’s a horrifying thought. I just get this image of some really gross guy with, like, Playboy in front of him, just jerking off. And I'm like ‘Oh, God. No. No. I refuse to be the centerfold. I refuse.’ "

She has a similar response to drugs, another one of the hurdles she has faced. “I’ve surpassed that,” she explains. "I’m really not into drugs. It’s sort of like I’m having a natural high on my life, just being myself. Why do I want a drug to alter who I am? Why do I want to snort coke so I can be extremely hyper and talk nonstop? I’ve never understood that drug. What’s the point? And what about ecstasy? I've seen my friends on it, just touching themselves and going home with people they don’t know and I’m like ‘Haven’t you heard of AIDS? My God, what are you thinking? Just because some drug makes you feel incredibly sexual, now you’re just going to pick up on some guy? Get a little control.' I don’t like being out of control, you know. Despite what People magazine says about me.”

She pets her black Lab absentmindedly. “My focus is on finding true happiness,” she says. “That’s my world now.”

Ie a Friday night and Shannen and some of her friends are at the Universal Amphitheatre to see Frank Black (formerly of the Pixies) and the The. "Getting good seats for concerts is clearly the best thing about being famous,’’ she says. ‘‘That means a lot to me.”’

She doesn’t usually go out armed with bodyguards—only if it’s a big function, like when she led the Pledge of Allegiance at the Republican National Convention. Tonight she just pulled her hair over her face like Cousin Itt and walked to her seat. ‘‘It’s like Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game,’’ she explains. ‘‘They see him, but they leave him alone.”

Shannen considers herself something of a music aficionado. ‘‘I have Jimi Hendrix in my car right now,”’ she says proudly.

‘Really?’ I ask. ‘‘Are You Experienced?’’

“In what sense?’’ she responds. ‘Are you asking me if I'm like a Jimi Hendrix person with heroin? Am I experienced in heroin? No, I'm not.”

She seems more knowledgeable about tonight’s concert. It’s a great show and she’s having a great time until a woman approaches her. "She goes, ‘You're not Shannen Doherty, are you?’" Shannen says, recounting the incident the next day. "And I was like ‘No.’ She goes, ‘Well, I’m a casting director and this band is doing a song called ‘We Hate Brenda,’ and we’re looking for a Brenda look‘alike. And you look an incredible amount like her.' "

The woman gave Shannen her card. She looked at it and handed it back. ‘‘I am Shannen,’’ she said. ‘‘ And no thank you." “The woman sat down,’’ Shannen recalls, ‘‘and apologized, but I don’t know whether her apology was sincere or not. Hopefully she’ll think about what I said because what she’s doing is cruel, unjust, and just wrong."

The casting director at the show was working for Kerin Morataya and Darby Romeo, the two masterminds behind what can only be described as the 'I Hate Brenda’ movement... [They give these people some lines that I'm not going to bother to type here, but can be found on the scans of you want to read them]

“It’s propaganda!’’ exclaims Shannen. “These two girls are obviously lonely and depressed and attention-starved. They decided to get attention by picking on me.” She pauses. The I Hate Brenda stuff really upsets her. It also upsets Aaron Spelling, whose company produces Beverly Hills, 90210, and who threatened to stop the recently published I Hate Brenda Book. “We own the name Brenda," he said. "And our lawyers are looking into it.”

But doesn’t Shannen think all this is even a tiny bit amusing? ‘‘No,”’ she says emphatically. ‘‘None of it is amusing to me. What's funny about it? It’s just people hating me. It’s just. . . bad!"

Brenda is back. There are constant rumors that Shannen will be fired from 90210, but here she is, on the set, ready to work. “We would never think of dropping Shannen,’’ says Spelling, who is not a stranger to temperamental stars, having produced such landmark shows as Charlie's Angels and Dynasty. "The actress Shannen Doherty was acting out a lot,” says executive producer Darren Star. ‘‘She was pretty crazy. …She’s clashed with cast members—there’s no love lost between Luke Perry and Shannen—but they're both actors and can put their personal differences aside. There was never any real question that she’d be back.”

And here she is. “Where do you want me?” Shannen is asking. In this episode, the third of the season, Brenda has gone to Minnesota for college. Her roommate, a childhood friend, and she have had several fights, mostly over boys (what else?). And in this scene today Brenda announces that she’s moving back to Beverly Hills. ‘‘Shan,” says director Jeff Melman, ‘‘I want you over a little to the left.”’

Shannen is wearing jeans, a tight cropped black sweater, and (of course) motorcycle boots. She seems oblivious to the other actors, especially the girl who plays her roommate, who is sitting on the edge of the bed having her long blond tresses groomed.

After four rehearsals, they shoot the scene: Brenda bursts in on her roommate and her roommate’s boyfriend. The boyfriend puts on his pants and leaves. Brenda yanks out her suitcase and begins to pack. The roommate pleads, ‘‘I know I've been a jerk lately, but we’ve been friends forever.” Brenda continues to pack. Then she delivers her big speech: ‘‘I wanted to be different. Not just from my friends back there, but from you and everyone else. And the truth is, I am different. And that’s just the way it is.” Tight close-up. End of scene.

They go through this several times, and with each take, Shannen sounds grumpier. Brenda always seems to be a little cross, in a perpetually bad mood, and that’s because it’s the way Shannen plays her. ‘‘The character is whiny,” Shannen says defensively. ‘‘But this season will be cool. I end up going out with an older man and it’s a good story line.”’

Melman and Doherty confer a moment over some bit of blocking. Watching the monitor it’s clear that, despite her limited range as an actress, the camera loves Shannen. The girl playing her roommate is, by any objective standard, more beautiful. Yet your eye goes straight to Shannen. The other girl fades away—she’s just another blonde—while Shannen holds your attention. Even the way in which she is irritating and petulant is somehow arresting. She draws you in.

After the scene is taped, Shannen retreats quickly to her dressing room. On the walls are framed magazine covers featuring the stars of 90210 and some pinned-up snapshots. ‘‘I should probably take the shots of the ex-boy-friends down,’’ she says, ripping a photo of Dean off the wall. She tears it in half.

Her friend Audreé Futterman is waiting for her. ‘‘Audreé is part of my team,” Shannen says, plopping down on a futon. ‘She does my hair in all my movies.” The other half of her team is her makeup person, Toni G. They have become her best friends.

Audreé and Shannen were hanging out last night until two A.M. on the set of Wolf, which stars Jack Nicholson. Audreé, who is wearing a loose dress with black boots, is doing hair on the film.

There’s a knock at the door, and a 90210 assistant hands Shannen two white paper bags. She gives one to Audreé and tears open the other. ‘“Two or three years ago when I used to drink and I'd get a hangover, I'd eat a hamburger and French fries,” Shannen explains as she unwraps her burger. ‘‘In-N-Out are the best.” Audreé smiles, as if this is some kind of joke only they two can share. ‘“Two or three years ago? Back then?” she asks. ‘‘Yeah,’’ says Shannen, eating away. She laughs. "I can hardly remember.”’

There’s a lot of back-and-forth about Peter Gabriel concerts and how Shannen doesn’t approve of Audreé’s latest boyfriend and whether or not Shannen will be able to land a part in hipster screenwriter-director Quentin Tarantino’s latest project, Pulp Fiction. Besides Brenda, Shannen’s greatest artistic triumph was playing one of the Heathers in Heathers, the cult film that launched the careers of Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. Shannen’s eager to get her career back on that kind of cool track, and a role in Pulp Fiction would help. “My agent snuck me the script,” she says. ‘‘He says I'd be perfect.”’ (Tarantino wasn’t aware of Shannen’s interest. The three female roles went to Ma- ria de Medeiros, Rosanna Arquette, and Uma Thurman.)

There is another knock on the door, and an assistant director peeks in and asks Shannen if she could talk to the wardrobe person on her way back to the set. Shannen frowns. ‘‘I thought we worked out the fittings,’’ she says, getting increasingly nasty with every word. ‘‘Could you go tell her that?’ The A.D. leaves and Shannen looks at Audreé. ‘‘God,” Shannen says. ‘‘I mean, if she wants to do a proper fitting . . ."

A few moments later, the A.D. reappears. ‘‘They need you," she says. “And could you stop by Wardrobe?" Shannen rolls her eyes. ‘‘O.K.!’’ she snaps.

Audreé appears to be oblivious—she is there to worship. ‘“Wasn’t Jack great last night?’’ she asks Shannen. ‘Jack definitely has antennae.’

‘“Yeah,”’ Shannen agrees, ‘‘he’s got em.”

They both smile—more in-jokes. “You’ve got antennae, Audreé,’’ Shannen says, pulling on her motorcycle boots. ‘‘ ‘Antennae’ means you’re not self-conscious,’’ she explains, "because you don’t care. That you're just different.”

Audreé finishes her fries. ‘‘Yeah—that’s you, Shannen,’’ she says admiringly. “You don’t care. You've definitely got antennae.’’

“I hope so," says Shannen. "I really hope so.”

(Part 1 — Part 2)

[golbrocklovely]

haven't posted one of these in a while so…

here’s more of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

July 3 - me and my homies have pillow fights in hotel rooms

fan: TELL ME TO GO TO BED

GO TO BED!

decided to take a walk alone in palm springs CA tonight, almost got mugged by two dudes. i’m okay and back at my hotel! PSA don’t wander off alone in a foreign area without friends.

fan: @/ColbyBrock why is your foot scarred up

had to run, i’ll explain later i promise

other fan: damn what shoes were you in or were you in no shoes

barefoot like an idiot 🤦🏻‍♂️

Cactus: 1 Colby Brock: 0

July 8 - fallin in love is so beautiful but can bring so much pain

maybe that’s why i’m so closed off

emotionally unavailable cause i’m scared to fall so deep again

fan: But the pain brings a drive unlike any other

facts

fan: Who hurt our baby🥺😠

no one .. just circumstances out of my control

July 9 - i miss japan everyone is so nice there

July 11 - new hair hi

@/mannymua733: colby in purple hair : “r u lost baby girl” me : 👁👄👁

hahahah

July 12 - life is a movie and YOU are the main character

July 13 - @/allylovesit: Miss you lol @/ColbyBrock

i miss you!

July 14 - leaving a ghost town and ended up with two flat tires. seems something didn’t want us to go so soon

July 16 - don’t settle for any less than you deserve !

manifest the person you want to be, and become them

July 17 - i love my LGBTQ fans !

(a whole month after pride? tsk tsk colby lol jk)

fan: @/AmberScholl can you and @/ColbyBrock plz do this tik-tok trend😂

@/amberscholl: @/ColbyBrock u down ??

you just wanna see me in a dress huh ;)

@/amberscholl: in my dress, specifically

July 18 - if you’re at war with yourself in your own mind, time really makes things get better.. promise.

July 21 - keep having this same dream over the course of the past 2 years. not sure what to think

July 22 - i’m in a really deep Michael Jackson phase right now and i don’t know why

stop pulling my heart strings 1D

July 23 - someone said i looked like a 19 year old uncle yesterday 💀

(what does this even mean sksksk)

i haven’t seen this much happiness on social media in a LONG time. thank you one direction.

fan: Serious question: what’s ur favorite song by them?

rock me ! or up all night

getting a big tattoo tonight

July 24 - for me and my best friend. (pics of his tattoo that's about him and sam)

July 27 - fan: i lose sleep every night knowing @/ColbyBrock hasn’t said what his favorite song from harry styles is 😪

sign of the times 🖤

July 28 - let’s forget who we are

July 30 - i miss the deep talks at 3am with someone special where you get the feeling of being high on life just from being so deep in conversation 🛸

Aug. 1 - what’s up guys it’s sam and colby

Aug. 3 - fan: I wonder if @/ColbyBrock thinks he’s hot, cute, or both👀 I’m expecting an answer sir

none of the above

we lost one of our little kitties today :/ RIP scar, you deserved a better life. hope you’re eatin all the tuna you can imagine you in heaven #trapcats

Aug. 6 - if i can, then you can too

Protect Your 🖤

Aug. 7 - i hate when people talk behind my back

Aug. 10 - tired

Aug. 13 - kingdom hearts

@/mannymua733: that's the tweet

love u

(miss colby and manny having interactions, ngl)

ever since our feral cat Scar passed away the other cats hardly show up anymore 💔

Aug. 16 - i feel like most alive when i’m the most uncomfortable

Aug. 17 - our neighbors are so scary, saw this old woman in a nightgown running around at 10pm last night not making a sound .. please SOS

*Aug. 21 - #teamcolby is back? let us know if you want a mini prank war to happen …

@/jakewebber9: i thought we left pranks behind, now u got it coming for ya buddy

guys he called me his “buddy” 🖤😱😚

Aug. 25 - just got my photo shoot pics back 👀

Aug. 27 - in the end the answer will always be and has always been love

Aug. 30 - i will never ever understand why someone would take the time to hate on another person for absolutely no reason

don't just say it, prove it. stand behind it

Sept. 1 - (posted some shirtless photoshoot pics)

@/mannymua733: seeing this photo on my timeline… (video of him closing his mouth)

lmaooo

@/DavidAlvareeezy shut up and kiss me

😗

Sept. 3 - why do i kinda like the tattoo pain

Sept. 7 - there’s some memories that no matter how hard i try, they will never leave me alone

(oh damn even i forgot this one… poor baby)

Sept. 9 - everything can feel so heavy

Sept. 13 - the old XPLR vibes are back and it feels so good 😈

Sept. 14 - always in my head

Sept. 15 - man i missed traveling so much

Sept. 16 - sometimes i don’t mind wearing a mask in public cause it hides my face

Sept. 17 - don’t forget to question everything

fan: @/ColbyBrock can you do me a favor and call me a bitch again

you’re a lil bitch

Sept. 20 - @/mannymua733: i think i need to glam @/ColbyBrock and @/SamGolbach

👀👀👀

Sept. 21 - such a beautiful day in Los Angeles i hope everyone is feeling okay !

Sept. 22 - you can’t help it if your mind changes

Sept. 24 - “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that” -Martin Luther King Jr.

Sept. 28 - i just have no idea where i’d be without you

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 11 Part 1

So the consequence of last season's tomfoolery is the unleashing of the darkness, as per Death's explanation before he got sliced by Dean (I'm still not over how easy it was to take down such an ancient OP character)

And the darkness is a chick?! Whaaaaaaaaaaa-

Billie starts out in season 11 - okay - I know she's an enemy but I'm a fan of hers. She's sooo beautiful!!!! I love her look!!!! She ain’t takin’ no shit from the Winchesters either. That is a woman I can get behind - sowwwwwwwwwwwwy lol.

Why does Cas have to get fucked up yet again?!?!?!?! Why did Rowena turn him in an attack dog, damn!

The darkness unleashed some sort of virus ala The Crazies - 'member that movie (both original and remake)

The baby we find at the beginning of the season becomes the vessel for the darkness - she grew up so fast lol. Poor baby tho and her family 🥺

Rowena really tried starting a new coven 🤣 the name was soooo corny Mega Coven, really?! 🤣

I'm glad the sick/crazed Cas stuff is over but its only a matter of time before something else goes wrong with him. It's like the only reason he's kept around cuz lord knows the showrunners don't care about Destiel 🙃

Meanwhile the darkness is out and about as a little girl who's eating a healthy dose of humans, then demons, then humans again, totally unimpressed by Crowley and his shit 🤣

We have to see Metatron again ugh!!! Can someone kill him already?!?!?!?!

He really thought Cas was afraid. Child please. He's angry and he has so many reasons to be, between getting cockblocked by Sam and others, cockteased by Dean, having to compete with Crowley and women for Dean's attention (though where are the women, or is it all about AmaraxDean this season?), getting hated on by Heaven, getting cursed by Rowena and fucked over by Metatron personally and more than once, of course duh!

Sam! Poor baby thought God was speaking to him but it was the devil all along. He wants out of the cage and needs Sam to do it cuz another consequence of the darkness fiasco is the cage weakened some. Shame we didn't get to see Michael or Adam 🙃 (it was a great opportunity to bring back the apocalypse stuff from season 5, but oh well, that's what fanfiction's for!)

So instead of Sam who stands up to this bully, Castiel ends up busting him out (Cas baby no!)

Dean thinks Cas is fine, Dean when is Cas ever fine?! He hasn't been fine since he started helping you stupid!!!!!!! I guess Dean says that cuz he needs Cas to be fine, but my God the powers of Dean's denial are so strong!!!!!

Why Cas, why would you give yourself over to the devil 😭 and he was so passive. He only intervened when Lucifer was choking the shit outta Sam and decided oh wait Sam can’t die Dean would hate me forever I must intercede smh.

I have to say the line “grim face of angelic constipation” made me chuckle XD

That episode was pointless though since the supposed hand of God was useless and those people met their fate anyway - shoutout to that crew and the Woman of Letter Delfine - they were heroes. A somber end having Dean sat on his lonesome at the dock.

Sam watchu mean Cas won’t come back willingly - and abandon his sweet Dean. Never! He’s only doing it for Dean in the first place!!! Cuz the only alternative was for the devil go into Sam and there was no way they were gonna let that happen - though it would have made for an interesting season!

Another guy Dean goes Gaga over tho I’m not sure if its him being a fan or something else 😉 lololol

So we meet Eileen this season - she was awesome! She suffered no fools and took no prisoners lol. Almost killed Sam fucking Winchester. Talk about a meet-cute gone brutal 😂

It was nice to see Bobby and Rufus again - especially at Rufus’ savage top form, busting Bobby and everyone else’s balls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 when he demanded Bobby tell the truth instead of whatever story he was gonna say to seem cool 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When he sees that family together at the end 😭 what a softie.

Dean got to see Bobby again…awwwww but it turns out this episode (at least the parts that Bobby and Rufus were in) was during season 4 - and Dean was a prissy bitch! So rude, entitled and ungrateful. Bobby shouldn’t have had to put up with that!

Sam got shot but I wasn’t worried! We got 4 more seasons, he ain't going anywhere. But Dean was losing his mind again…Jesus honey there’s more to life than your baby bro! I mean I understand - he raised this boy, invested so much but this shit ain't healthy. He committed suicide to talk to a reaper who’s told him in no uncertain terms that if the Winchesters die she’s gonna keep them that way. Did he really think she’d be willing to cut him a deal? Hell nah. He’s lucky that doctor was good at his job! And that Sam swooped in and saved the day, survivor that he is!

That poor woman at the end though, so devoid of hope, just like Dean will be in a few seasons (yeah I know about that shit. I’ll address it when I finally watch those episodes).

Speaking of Dean losing hope - he works with Crowley & Rowena to try to save Cas. Why does Sam keep saying Cas ain’t coming back - you don’t know - we’re not in season 15 - lemme stop

The way Dean kept calling out to Cas - poor bby. Of course the devil mocked him, what a dick!

Crowley tried to help too, got beat up by the devil (again) for his trouble. Cas c’mon stand up to the son of a bitch!

Amara came busting in like the baddest of bitches - didn’t break a sweat when the devil attacked her.

Cesar & Jesse - ugh I loved them!!!!! We need more Latinos in this show!!! They won’t be back since they apparently retired but good for them! They got the fuck out!

Lol when Dean assumed they were brothers - they look nothing alike Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When Dean asked what it was like - 2 tough, swole men together like that - why you curious Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They were really trying to recruit them - I was like oh heeeeell noooooo don’t wrap them up in your shit they’re 2 innocent sexy bears - you leave them alone!!!!! We don’t need to befriend more people to have them die for the Winchesters - enough is enough! I’m still not over Kevin. That poor bby.

Part 2 incoming!

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Cant Fight This Feeling

A/N- This was from the song fic list i made a while back 🥰 the list was still saved, along with all the fics i made for it so hopefully soon i’ll be able to finish the full list!!

Summary- After you get sick of Eddie being an asshole to every guy that comes across you, he decides it’s finally time to come clean

Genre- Fluff

Warnings- None :)

Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines @hellfirewh0re @paola-carter @whiplaaaaaaaaash @ladyapplejackdnd @thatlonelypieceoftoast @efvyqrs

Words- 2.2k

“What’s this guys name again?”

Eddie asked from his seat next to you in the cafeteria. You had been telling him about another guy that was supposed to be taking you out that night.

“Scott. He’s pretty nice, but i know you already hate him.” You said with a smile, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because that’s how you feel about every guy that’s ever taken me out.”

You and Eddie had been inseparable since middle school, and it was hard to find one of you without the other at this point. He was your best friend, and you told each other everything, but he hated having to hear about every single guy you had a crush on or who was taking you out on dates.

“That’s not true…” He said quietly.

“Oh really?” You said with a laugh, “You remember in 8th grade when you threatened to beat up Michael Peterson because he asked me to the Snowball? Or when Paul took me to junior prom last year? Last month you tried punching Joey because he said he thought my dress was cute. You don’t always have to try and ‘protect’ me or whatever it is that you think you’re doing to help.”

“Hey! I do it out of a place of love, you know all those guys aren’t good for you!” You raised your eyebrows at his response, noticeably a bit angry,

“They’re not good for me?” You stared him down, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Um…” He went silent, “You know what i’m talking about.”

“Oh no, i don’t think i do,” You leaned forward and put your fist under your chin, “why don’t you explain it to me.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to save himself from this,

“I mean, just look at us. And look at them! You don’t need one of those preppy douchebags to be your boy toys.”

“From what i remember, you always seem to be the douchebag.” You started raising your voice, putting Eddie in his place, “Every single guy that’s ever talked to me, asked me out, complimented me, has been completely fine around me! They’re not mean, they’re not grabby, they can barely get past making a move with you constantly up my ass.”

The two of you had gotten into arguments over this subject countless amounts of times. Eddie always saying something along the lines of ‘you’re too good for them’ or ‘guys only have one thing on their mind’, all the normal bullshit. But this pushed your buttons more than any other time it was brought up. Eddie knew it pissed you off but there wasn’t much else he could do to try and get those other guys away from you. His friends knew it, his uncle knew it, but for some reason you were the only person who was completely oblivious to his feelings for you.

“They’re nice to me. And i don’t know why you think that just because some guy comes around me that i like, you feel the need to get in the way and fuck it up. I just want to be happy with someone and i don’t know why that pisses you off so much.”

You grabbed your bag and stood up from your seat, but Eddie quickly grabbed your wrist,

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to sit with Scott,” you snatched your arm back from his grip, “when you decide to stop acting like a child then i’ll come back.”

Eddie sat there defeated, watching you walk across the cafeteria.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade forever. That he would have to come clean and finally admit to everything, that he knew the only person that would ever make him happy was you. Seeing how all those other guys wanted you as badly as he did made him sick, and he knew it wasn’t good to be such an asshole to them all the time but he just couldn’t help himself.

His attention turned to Jeff and Gareth as they sat in their designated spots on his left,

“Hey where’s (y/n)?” Jeff said as he took a sip from the Coke can on his lunch tray.

Eddie said nothing, turning his head over to see you giggling with Scott and his friends at their table, Jeff and Gareth spotting you as they looked over.

“You fucked up didn’t you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sighed and laid on top of your bed, bored out of your mind. Your parents were still at work and by this time you and Eddie were either having one of your seshes or just hanging out and it was weird to not have him around you for so long. You hadn’t spoken to him since lunch and it was strange how quiet it seemed without him there. You missed him.

It had only been maybe 5 hours and you missed him so much.

You tried to get your mind off of him and try to focus on your date with Scott. Eddie was somewhat right about you, every guy that seemed interested in you was almost the complete opposite as you and him. It didn’t bother you much until you really sat to think about it. Sure, they were all nice now, but the constant cycle of guys losing their interest because of Eddie really made you think. It wasn’t the fact that Eddie was threatening them or scaring them away from you that made them leave, it was because no matter what whenever you were out with any of them you wished Eddie could be there with you instead of them.

All those guys wanted to do was the same dates over and over again, dinner and then a movie and dinner and then a movie. They bored you. But Eddie never did.

Though it was just hanging out you and Eddie always had something different planned, and sometimes you would end up doing a few of the same things, mainly movie nights at his place and a smoke sesh at yours but just spending your time with him always felt so comfortable. So right.

You’ve always liked Eddie, if you didn’t like him at least a little bit then you wouldn’t have been around him so much, but you were starting to realize that maybe you liked him more than you thought…

He was sweet, he was honest, and though he was annoying and obnoxious sometimes that’s just how he is. And you like how he is.

You LOVE how he is.

Sighing, you reach for your phone to try and reach Eddie at his trailer. You hated having to give in but even if he wasn’t going to apologize you just missed having him around you.

You put the phone to your ear and waited, listening to the tone and hoping that if Eddie wasn’t home to pick up the phone then his uncle would let him know you called. Groaning after waiting for what seemed like forever, you set the phone back onto the receiver and decided to just drive over. Talking to Eddie face to face would be a lot easier than doing it over a phone call. You quickly grabbed your bag and keys and quickly made your way downstairs to your front door.

As you opened it you shrieked in surprise, not expecting Eddie to be waiting at your front door,

“Eddie? What’re you doing here?” You looked him up and down and you were surprised to see him in a style so different from his normal look. He was wearing a darker denim button up, probably borrowed from his uncle since it seemed to be about two sizes too big, and a decent looking pair of jeans surprisingly with no rips in them. In his hand was a small makeshift bouquet of different wildflowers you recognized from around the neighborhood. He looked good. Seeing him so dressed up was definitely different, but you had to admit he looked pretty handsome all dressed up.

“I uh…” He cleared his throat and tried to collect his thoughts, he was flustered, “I just wanted to apologize for how i’ve been. I know i can be a dick sometimes so i figured i should man up and try to be an adult about it instead of always being so jealous…” He gave you a soft smile and handed you the flowers in his hand.

You took the bouquet and smiled, seeing all the different daisies and daffodils he found for you, thinking about how sweet it was for him to finally apologize for being… jealous?

“Wait…” You looked back up at him, his eyes staring down at the wooden boards of your porch to hide the gentle blush across his face, “did you say you were jealous?” You leaned against your doorframe, crossing your arms over your chest, “What do you have to be jealous about?”

“It’s stupid, i should just go-“

“Eddie.” You said sternly, he looked back up to your face and his eyes met yours.

“Fuck… Ok fine,” he said with a sigh, “I like you. I really like you. And seeing you go out with all those guys, all those preppy athletes and popular kids, it just hurt cause they weren’t anything like… well like me. And i figured me being a dick about it was easier than acting like it didn’t hurt me, but me acting like that hurt you more than i thought it did and i’m sorry… I thought if i showed up looking a little nicer, like they do, you might…” He trailed off, too nervous to finish his own sentence before you gave him a nod to continue, “You might… wanna go out with me?”

You just stared him down and smiled,

“How long have you felt like that?”

“A while…” He scratched the back of his neck, “8th grade i think. I didn’t think it was a crush but when Michael asked you to the snowball it just got me so pissed off that i wouldn’t get to go with you. I know it’s stupid…”

You giggled and took a step forward, placing a hand onto his shoulder as you stood on your tip toes to kiss his cheek,

“It’s not stupid. You’re an asshole for being a dick to all those guys, but it’s sweet that you apologized. And brought me flowers, cause you’re such a gentleman.”

He smiled, thankful you still weren’t pissed at him,

“So, you never answered my question…”

You giggled again,

“Yes, I’ll go out with you Eddie.”

He let out a big sigh of relief,

“Oh thank god, you have no idea how much i was panicking about doing all this.”

“Yeah i can tell,” looking up and down at his outfit again, “did you have to borrow your uncles shirt? It looks pretty big on you.”

“I don’t have any of those nice fancy clothes that all those guys do, i had to do what i could with what i had ok?”

The two of you stood there giggling with each other,

“How about we do something tonight?” You said with a smile, “We could make up for a couple of those hours we’ve been apart, i don’t think we’ve been separated for that long before.”

“Yeah, it was weird not having that annoying voice in my ear-“

“Hey!” You punched his arm, “i’m not that annoying.”

“Besides, i thought you were going out with that Scott guy?”

“I’ll call him and tell him i’m feeling sick or something. I wasn’t really into him anyways, i think he just wanted to add another notch on his belt and tell his friends he went out with one of the ‘freaks’.”

“I knew that guy was just gonna be another asshole. So what do you wanna do tonight?”

“How about tonight you come over and we’ll watch a movie, talk, smoke a little, the usual.”

“Don’t you wanna… You know, go on a date date?”

“Nope,” You said with a smile, “not tonight anyways, you can take me out next time.”

“Next time?” He smiled back at you, “Damn, first date hasn’t even started and you’re already planning a second? I knew you had the hots for me.”

You giggled and looked down to try and hide the blush coming to your cheeks,

“Maybe i did, maybe i didn’t. But you should go home and change first, i like the normal Eddie.”

“What do you mean?” He did a spin in his outfit, “You don’t like the suave new Eddie Munson?”

“I definitely don’t,” You said laughing, “ but i might when you find a shirt that fits you right.”

You took a few steps towards him, “Go home and change,” your arms reached up around his neck and you gently brought his face to yours, placing your lips softly onto his, “you’ll get more of that when you get back.”

He didn’t say a word as soon as you finished talking. The corners of his lips turned to the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him before he quickly jumped off of your porch and ran back to his van,

“I’ll be back in an hour!”

You smiled and walked back into your home, thinking about what movie the two of you could watch together, and what you could put on afterwards for background noise. After seeing his reaction to one kiss, you knew there wouldn’t be much attention paid to the movie.

_______________________________________________

If you’d like to read more of my work, make sure to check out my masterlist 🥰

[slasherhaven]

Holy shit your insecure Michael fic woke something up inside of me 😂 I absolutely love this softer side of Michael. I was wondering if I could request a piece on michaels conflicted feelings about falling in love and opening up to his s/o? Like just really soft and fluffy, maybe him noticing that he leans into her touch and craves intimacy more etc. I’m just a slut for our big slashers being soft just for their s/o. Thank you so much I loooove this page and how you write for these tough guys 🥰🥰

Michael Myers feeling conflicted about falling in love and opening up:

He couldn’t place when it started...probably when he started coinhabiting with you, when he decided not to kill you. Yeah, that was probably the start of it, right at the beginning, but realisation settled too late, it was unavoidable. 

He could kill you...technically that would end the problem, right? No more new and strange feelings, no more conflict, it would be over. However, the thought of you being gone did not settle right with Michael at all, it made his fists clench at his sides and his jaw tense behind his mask. No, that wouldn’t solve the problem, it will only bring a multitude of new ones.

It started when he spared you, he decided. Then when was the turning point? When did he realise that there was no turning back? He knew the answer to that fairly quickly as well, when he removed the mask around you for the first time, letting you see his face, letting you see the real Michael. The man, not the monster.

It was all unavoidable. You and these feelings...unavoidable. At least that was what he told himself to avoid thinking about why he made each individual decision that led him here.

You had become his partner, you cared for him and he cared for you even if you both showed it in very different ways. You meant something to him, he was somebody to you. You saw him. All of this had been true for a long time, even you had known it, but Michael had refused to open his eyes to it. Hoping that ignoring it would avoid the realisation forever. 

He could let things continue, let things be, but he couldn’t actually wrap his head around it. So, he supressed it the best he could.

The moment he knew he couldn’t ignore it any longer, when the conflict rose to the front of his mind and planted itself there, was when you were tending to his wounds.

It was an intimate act, though you had been intimate together various times before this felt different. It was a soft, caring act on your behalf.

He couldn’t ignore the way your touch slowly eased the tension in his body, how he allowed himself to trust you at all when he had never trusted anyone. What really caused him to linger on his internal conflict was the way he lent into your touch without even realising it at first. How could you have so much power over him?

The thing that really gets him is when you’re in bed and you move closer in your sleep, cuddling into his side, like you trusted him. Hell, you did trust him against your own better judgement. He allowed it...he liked it.

The only reason Michael didn’t end it all was because he...enjoyed it. It was a nice, warm feeling. Of course he liked that...he just wasn’t used to it.

The conflict wasn’t whether he enjoyed having you around or not. It was about whether or not he would accept it. 

Letting you in, opening up to you, it felt good but it made him feel vulnerable, something Michael never wants to feel. He hates it.

-----

It was late but you were cooking, making something for Michael to eat when you noticed that he hadn’t eaten much that day. Caring, just like always. Normally Michael enjoyed your cooking and would eat anything you placed in front of him, but he was starting to feel that itch, the one that could only be satisfied by going out for a hunt.

“Michael” you smiled, turning when you heard his footsteps enter the room. “I guessed you were hungry so I’m making you something to eat” you informed him, he hated the way it make his heart twinge. “Sit down” you kindly gestured towards the table, seemingly not noticing the mask clutched in his hand.

Michael just shook his head, pulling the mask over his face before heading for the backdoor.

“Oh...okay...” you frowned a little when you realised he was leaving for his...nightly activities. You had become used to it, loved him despite it, but it still hurt a little when he left you like this. “I’ll uh...put it aside, you can heat it up when you come back if you’re hungry” you offered, forcing a small smile, “oh, and try not to get blood on the sheets when you come to bed, alright?” 

It was...oddly domestic, the things you requested of him, the bare minimum honestly.

He responded with the smallest nod and a quiet grunt of approval, though it sounded a little dismissive. 

You sighed as he left the house, turning back to the food you had been cooking. You would put it in the fridge for when he returned, you wondered if you should try to stay up for him or if you would tire before he came home.

You jumped a little when you heard the door open again, turning to see Michael striding towards you. You paused, blinking up at him curiously. You knew that he couldn’t help when he needed to go out like this, so you wondered why he decided to return.

You didn’t speak, you just waited. Surely he wanted something. 

It was incredibly surprising to you when he lifted the mask up to just above his nose, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. Your face flared up in a warm blush, definitely not expecting the affection. Without anything else, Michael lowered the mask, turning on his heel.

There, affection. It wasn’t a lot but it was a step in the right direction, enough to express some of the things he was feeling.

“I love you too!” you called after him as he disappeared out of the house, leaving you smiling brightly to yourself.

Those words. They just started a whole new conflict. You loved him, you loved him too...you knew how he felt about you even if he couldn’t completely comprehend them himself.

For now, this was okay. He was slowly coming to terms with his new feelings, and it seemed that you were willing to wait, finding the small achievements satisfying.

[stellocchia]

You know what? Fluffy tailor!Tommy headcanons because I said so!

Tommy just says f*ck everything and starts a little tailoring shop in the smp and just ignores the whole world. 

Like, Eggpire coming to knock at his door? He can offer them a cup of tea and some repairs to their Evil Uniforms but then f*ck off. 

Tubbo and Ranboo come around often because they are both disasters.

Sometimes they leave Michael at the shop because they know it’s safe and he seems to really like the place...

In reality Michael mostly likes the fact that Tommy’s hair looks kinda like gold which is the reason why it becomes impossible for Tommy to put him down when he is staying over

He complains a bit about it, but he is always smiling, so Tubbo and Ranboo know it’s not serious

Sam and Puffy come to give their support and Tommy always very aggressively offers tea and cookies to Sam because "it's the business policy but I still hate you!" 

(Nobody mention to him that he’s the one who made the policy in the first place because you WILL be kicked out right after you finish your tea!)

 Tommy never once questioned Quackity's bloody clothes, just fixed them up and they are good to go! 

He does complain about it though. Bloodstains are hard especially if you don’t clean them immediately and he has some choice words for Quackity for when he fails to do so...

Jack ends up going there to get new outfits every time for his increasingly bizare revenge plans that Tommy remains entirely oblivious to. 

(No matter how many times Jack tries telling him, it’s not happening! Jack is just another happy customer is all!) 

The syndacate comes checking if it's a governament because they constantly see people around and then they leave with better looking uniforms, some cookies and a promise from Niki to come back to bake together sometimes

Techno still says he hates him, but it’s nice having his cloak without any rips for the first time in years... the cookies are also a bonus...

After a while it is decided that the conflict should be kept away from the shop

And it’s only partially because DreamXD visited it once and declared it an extension of the Holy Land after a plesant afternoon of tea and cookies...

Just, Tommy doing something he likes while healing and ignoring any and all conflicts. The world could be ending but he would still be there vibing in his cozy little shop...

[baecvlt]

Stalker Nagito Komaeda x Milf!Reader

this was requested via my twitter:

“Hey! i’ve seen your works and I’m in love. Can I request smut where a stalker Nagito Komaeda becomes obsessed with a milf reader who moves into the neighborhood who’s like a dom in bed and ya know just large bust and taller than him. Thank youuu🤍”

a/n: ofc. but I have my own idea of a dom which i’ll use involving certain things (heed warnings)

warnings: he is so obviously a virgin in this, degradation, slight masochism, asphyxiation, spit, also Nagito calls the reader mommy (side note: nagito is in his early 20s in this, he lives alone. age of reader isn’t specified BUT I say she’s in her late 20s/early 30s)

• • •

It was a bright day...which Nagito despised. It was summer. He hated the sun, hated the mosquitoes, and the unnecessary humidity. It was days like these he wishes he was back at his university dorm. The A/C, the tall tree covering his window and blocking the sun...it was perfect. Hell, he didn’t even hate classes. Yet, he couldn’t live in the dorms forever. When it came time to buy a home, he stupidly did so in fall, moved in during the winter.

Well, no shit the home seemed perfect then. It wasn’t fucking summer. His A/C decided to break, his windows has a great view of the sun, and most of his friends were out of town (all except Hajime, but Hajime is fucking boring and a bummer). Nagito sat on his couch, watching reruns of old tv shows. He took a sip from his nearby glass (cold water), suddenly hearing sounds of what appeared to be a loading van. He looked outside his window.

A moving van?

Right, that one old man who lived there passed away. Freak accident, by the way. Oh well, may he rest in peace. Meanwhile, Nagito was being himself and trying to see who it was. Pretty much, the dude was being nosy. He saw another car pull up. That must’ve been the family’s car. Out jumped 3 kids, what appeared to be 2 girls and 1 boy. An adult stepped out. Nagito decided he’d get a better look at the situation. He put on his shirt, black jeans, and his green hood.

He was “going for a walk”.

Without being noticed, he made his way to the other side of the street. It was a woman, she was taking boxes out of the truck. The minute Nagito saw her it was if he was stricken by Cupid’s arrow. She was tall and beautiful. Her skin complimented her hair and her legs, he couldn’t take his eyes off them. Her breasts...he needed to stop—

“Hi!”

She was in front of him, a warm and inviting smile on her face. “H-Hi,” he muttered. She didn’t hear him well, so it helped that he waved. “I’m new in the neighborhood. We just moved in,” she added, putting the box down. She stuck her hand out, going for a handshake. He shook her hand, her warm hand against his cold ones. Why are his hands always cold? “I see,” he responded, getting his shit together,“I’m Nagito Komaeda. I live across the street”. She introduced herself and complimented his house.

“What a lovely home. I hope the neighborhood is just as lovely”

“It should be. It’s pretty quiet. There’s not many families here. Say, can I help you pack?”

“You’re too sweet! I’d really appreciate it”

He helped take all the boxes in her home, helping load a couch too, and help with other large objects. They finished in 9 hours, taking a majority of the day. “Thanks for helping out, Nagito”. She made a lemonade, handing him a glass.

“Don’t mention it! Also, thank you”

One of the kids ran in the living room where they sat on the couch. He gasped when he saw Nagito. “Mommy! That man looks dead!!!”. Nagito smiled, but his mom was not amused. “Michael! Apologize..”. The kid kept smiling and said,“Sorry!”. He ran to another room. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. Nagito shook his head.

“Hey, I’m rather malnourished”

“Ha. On an unrelated topic, are you hungry? I could make us something”

“Oh, I shouldn’t linger any longer. I wouldn’t want to disturb your husband”

She laughed. “I know you mean no harm, but I’m not married,” she added. “Oh,” Nagito muttered,“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it in any way”. She shook her head and reassured him it was fine. “Sit, Nagito,” she pulled out a chair,“I’m not letting you refuse having dinner with us. Especially since you were such help”. She rubbed his back before heading back into the kitchen to begin cooking.

She made him a bowl of pasta, adding chicken on the side. Nagito was quite happy. He hadn’t eaten a good meal in so long. Her kids didn’t eat at the table, but on the counter. Meanwhile, she ate with Nagito. Just as Nagito thought he couldn’t grow fonder of her, he did just that. All she did was let him talk about himself.

“Jesus, I’m sorry about your parents? How are you keeping yourself afloat with university and expenses?”

“Academic scholarships”

“Wow, you’re such a smart boy”

The way she phrased it made him flustered. “Thank you for the meal, ma’am,” he muttered,“I haven’t eaten like this in who knows how long”. She smiled tenderly, picking up his empty plate. “Seconds?”. He shook his head.

“No, thank you. I’m already so full”

“I’m glad. You know, there’s always a meal for you in store if you can do me a favor”

“What’s that?”

“My oldest daughter has her final test this week. You think you can help her study? I’ll make you a nice, warm meal every time you come over”

Nagito thought about it. He would also have time around her. Plus, she wasn’t a bad cook. “Of course, I look forward to it,” he told her. “Lovely”. He got up and excused himself to go home. “It was nice having you over, Nagito,” she said softly. He could tell she was getting sleepy. When people are tired, Nagito has noticed that their tone is rather sheepish. She walked him to the door, ruffling his hair playfully and he blushed. “Goodnight, neighbor”.

“Goodnight, you”

Before he left, she stopped him and handed him a paper: (xxx) xxx-xxxx ♡

“Call me when you get home so I have your number saved. Then, I can call you when my daughter, Vanessa, needs help. Take care, okay?”

He nodded.

She closed the door, his thoughts racing on his way home. He picked up some things about her, things she didn’t even tell him. He went home and opened a notebook, writing all of it down. He called her and she answered, her voice as sweet as when he left (only sleepier). “Hello?”. His breath was heavy without realizing it as he spoke. “H-Hey, you told me to call you,” he breathed,“It’s Nagito...Komaeda”

“Oh, hey, angel! I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“What? No, it’s all good— why’d you think so?”

“You sound like you need to catch your breath, but anyway, thanks for calling me. I’ve saved your number now”

“Oh, great! Well, if that’s all, I’ll let you go to bed now”

“It was. Goodnight, Nagito”

“G-Goodnight”

He hung up, flustered more than ever as he continued to jot down his thoughts on paper. The next day, he woke up at 6am to wait in his car. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. At around 7:41am, his front neighbor and kids headed for their car. Nagito, who had taken a light nap in the driver’s seat, was awoken by the car starting. He waited for the car to drive away just slightly past his house to start his own car, slowly tailing behind her.

He dropped her kids off at the nearby elementary. She got off, kissed them on their forehead (all minus the eldest, who walked swiftly through the gates). Seeing how she cared for them made Nagito feel bad, but all he did was brush that feeling off. Next, he followed her through her daily. As he did, his notes from last night echoed through his mind, adding new detail.

“She works at an office not everyday She doesn’t have allergies but is sensitive to dust Red seems to be her favorite color but always in a darker shade Her daughter is around 10 years old She isn’t vegan but enjoys almond milk Maybe has an issues with abandonment but I can’t assume that either She buys many apples but not the same amount of bananas at the store so maybe she only eats the bananas—”

Just more to add to his notebook.

He got home before she did, writing down what he had learned. His phone rang about an hour later of him getting home. He picked it up,“Hello?”. “Nagito, hi!”. It was her. He started having a mini-panic attack, because why would she be calling him? “H-Hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright. I was wondering if you could come over and tutor Vanessa”

Oh, thank god.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be down there right now”

“Great. See you then!”

He was relieved, heading to her home happily. He knocked on the door. When she opened it, she did so with the same warm smile as yesterday. “Thank you for coming over,” she said,“She’s in her room”. Nagito nodded, freezing when she grabbed his hand and took him to the room. Her touch was so soft, noted. They got to the room, where a girl was reading a book on a desk. “Nessa?”. The girl turned around.

“Nagito is going to be here for a few hours to help you out with homework and studying. He’s really smart, so pay attention and be respectful”

“Okay, mom”

She nodded, squeezing Nagito’s shoulder before leaving. Nagito approached the girl, she took her things out. Before he could speak, she stopped him. “Please don’t call me ‘Nessa’,” she whispered,“It’s bad enough my mom does, but not you, Please”.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on referring to you at all”

“Bastard”

“Nessa”

“I guess I walked right into that one”

Nagito laughed, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her. Her work wasn’t what he expected. Is this what they’re teaching kids now? He could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen this type of stuff until he hit middle school. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t do, but damn. All in all, tutoring went well. Vanessa actually learned something today. “Good job!,” he said. “Thank you,” she smiled and hugged him,“I felt so stupid”.

“Hey, its okay not to understand things”

Her mom walked in. “Dinner’s ready”. Vanessa got up and went to the kitchen. “How’d it go?,” she asked Nagito. “Went well, she gets the math now,” he answered. She smiled, thanking him for his help and asking him to join them for dinner. He’d be foolish not to, so he accepted the invite.

Fish tacos were served tonight with rice and beans, another lemonade made. It was different than anything Nagito had ever had, but that doesn’t equate to bad. He actually enjoyed the meal. The kids sat at the main table today, much more respectful than yesterday. “Michael how was school?”. He put a thumbs up, getting back to eating. “And Adrianna?”. She looked up from her meal and shrugged. “What’s wrong?”.

“I’m tired, but class was okay”

“Oh, okay. When you’re done, just take a quick shower and get to bed”

“Thanks”

Nagito thought it was endearing. Seeing how understanding and loving she was, it was refreshing. The kids all eventually left, Nagito finishing his meal. “Did you like it?”. He looked at her, nodding. “Great! Seconds?”.

“Full again. I don’t usually eat, but your food is always so good”

“Oh, you’re just saying things...”

“No, really! Thank you”

He said his goodbyes to the family, walking back home. It was as if he was falling for this woman more and more everyday. He went to sleep, this time dreaming of her. He never dreams, but this time he dreamt she was on her knees for him. Then, nothing else. It was as if his dream teased him.

The next morning, he woke up to some knocking on the door. He looked at the time. 8:23am. He put on a pair of jeans and his shirt, walking to his door. He opened it and there she stood, wearing a black dress and red heels. He assumed she had work and needed a favor before going. “Good morning,” he said.

“Were you following me yesterday?”

Shit.

“I, uh...,” he didn’t know what to answer. He was indeed following her yesterday. He also liked her, so if he straight up said that he was to following her, it’d ruin things. His face was glowing a shade of pink to a slight red as he thought of the right answer. He was still stumbling over his words. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she added. The fuck? “Huh?”. She pushed him inside the house, closing and locking the door behind him. “When a boy follows someone around, it’s because he wants something,” she added, but her tone was so sultry,“Well, Nagito—”. She pushed him onto the couch, leaning in front of him with her hands on his chest.

“—What do you want?”

None of what was happening felt real. Nagito couldn’t find the words to express what exactly he wanted. This was the first time he’d ever been in a situation like this, it wasn’t a bad one either. He began to panic when she straddled him. “Could it be that you wanted me?,” she asked. He frantically nodded and she laughed as she locked her lips with his. He gasped against her lips, kissing back. She slowly trailed her kisses down to his neck, cupping his jaw while grinding on his lap. Nagito moaned, his shaky hands grabbing her ass. She grabbed his hands and put them away from her. “It’s cute that you’re getting this carried away”.

“I’m sorry”

“No time to apologize. Get on your knees for mommy”

Nagito was about to lose his mind when she said that, but he obeyed. Her presence was domineering as he stood on his knees against his carpeted floor. She spread her legs, noticing Nagito desperately trying to get a look. Her red heel stopped him, stepping on his head lightly. “Am I teasing you?,” she asked,“It’s okay to be honest”.

“Y-You are, but its okay. I want to be teased by you”

“You’re adorable,” she took her heel off his head,“Let’s go to your room”.

He practically ran to his bed. He sat and waited patiently. She entered the room, heading to his bed. She began to take off his shirt, admiring his frame. She then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He kicked them off and sat down. She sat next to him. “Give me your hands”. She held them, frowning slightly. “Boo, they’re so cold,” she teased,“I’ll warm them up for you”. Carefully, she grabbed his left hand, putting his middle and ring finger in her mouth. She licked to his fingertips, leaving him tense and speechless. She stopped and smiled at him.

“This is your first time, isn’t it?”

He nodded shyly. “Don’t be shy,” she said,“I’m going to guide you, but I’m also going to have my fun”. He gulped, nodded. She stood up and removed her dress. She wore a lacy black bra and panties. She brought his hands to her breasts, allowing him to fondle them. They were huge in his hands. “You like them, baby?”. “Y-Yes,” he muttered,“Can you, uh, take....the bra off?”. He was ashamed when asking, he felt desperate. She smiled and nodded, unhooking it and allowing the bra to fall to the ground. He gasped at the sight of her tits, grabbing them. She straddled him.

“Do you know what to do with them?”

He nodded, rubbing one and sucking the other. She moaned sweetly, grinding on his lap. He popped his mouth off them. That was when she took the opportunity to knock him onto the bed. She began to make out with him, shoving his tongue down her throat. They lay sideways. Her hand was on his neck, slightly choking him. He couldn’t resist but try to grind on her lap. She laughed. “Look at you,” she mocked,“Humping my leg like a desperate little puppy”. She didn’t let him speak, sitting up and pushing him back down. “I’m going to give you what you want,” she whispered in his ear,“Take your cock out”.

He was nervous as he did, hands shaky. She blushed a bit at his size. “It’s so big,” she said, straddling him,“I’m going to have my way with it”. “Please, do what you want to me,” he begged,“Abuse me, please”. She didn’t speak, sinking down on it. Nagito gasped, she was extremely wet. She began to bring her hips up and land straight down on it, repeatedly. She put her hands around his throat, now being rougher. Nagito gasped for air, grabbing her hands.

That was a mistake.

“Hands down,” she ordered, striking him across the face. “Sorr-”. He was slapped once again. “Only speak when you’re spoken to”. He nodded as his stomach began to cave in. His cock twitched each time she slapped him, making her moan. She leaned forward, capturing his earlobe between her teeth. He winced, his hands tangling in the sheets. He felt as though his entire body was blushing.

“You’re so sensitive there”

She teased him, kissing the skin and nibbling. His hips involuntarily snapped upward, making her whine. “You’re so desperate, baby,” she laughed,“it’s so cute”. He could feel her warmth running along his cock. He bit into his hand, trying to stop himself from cumming inside her. It worked, but she didn’t like him doing that. She grabbed his hands and kissed them.

“Don’t hurt yourself, put them right here”

She placed them on her boobs. He watched them bounce up and down, grabbing them gently. His rather large hands seemed small on her tits. He was extremely flushed. He took them off her and placed them on her hips. “Open your mouth”. He lay back more and did as he was told. She leaned forward, grabbing his jaw again as she spit into it and kissed him. He moaned when she did, his urges getting the best to him and thrusting upward. He hit her cervix every time, causing her to produce the sweetest and sluttiest of moans. Her walls tightened around him and now he was whining. “Are you gonna cum, honeybun?,” she asked.

“Y-Yes..”

“Where do you wanna cum?”

“I wanna cum...everywhere. I want it. I want it so bad. I wanna cum inside and on your tits, on your ass, y-your face..mouth. Please let me cum, mommy”

She motivated him, riding him harder. “Come on, Nagito,” she whispered,“Cum for mommy. Cum all the way inside her”. He lost his mind after that, groaning as he shot his load(s) inside her. He was still inside her as he tried catching his breath. She rubbed his chest, shushing him. “Good boy, you did so well,” she cooed,“Such a good boy.” He was covering his face, embarrassed and still hard. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?,” she asked. He shook his head, thinking,“Not rough enough”. He whined when she got off, revealing he was still erect. She noticed.

“You wanna go again, baby? Kids don’t leave school till 2:30. We have time for an extra fuck”

“C-Can I?”

“Yes, dummy”

She let Nagito choose how to fuck her. He wanted missionary, mostly because he craved intimacy and she did not disappoint. She kissed and praised him, telling him he was good. She held onto him the whole time and cuddled him afterwards. Nagito felt so special, he felt loved. “I can come over when I don’t have work,” she said,“Would you like that?”.

���I’d love that actually”

“You make me happy, Nagito. I could stay here and cuddle all day”

“I feel so lucky”

He yawned, looking at the clock. “Its 10,” he told her. She nuzzled his chest, humming. “Mmmm, let’s take a small nap,” she whispered,“Okay?”. “Okay”. He kissed the top of her head and held her to him, slowly joining her in slumber.

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

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@eridanuswave @cjand10 @deluxeplanteater @rorodendra @navs-bhat @coxxxxxpi @leviosatothestars

Thanks for all the love and support, if you have opinions, suggestions, or want to be part of the tag list (Or don’t want to be part anymore) let me know, I appreciate every message.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Could you do the Brothers and undatables reacting to MC being poisoned and finding out that Micheal was trying to kill them because he was jealous that MC was close with the brothers. Let me just say your work is great the way you describe the situation before going into the reactions is really interesting. Thank you so much!!!!

I already had this ask half way done but Tumblr decided to delete all my work due to buggy WiFi - I'm currently in pain 😭

I don't know much about poison so bare with me, I just looked at the basic symptoms and went "I'm smart" I've passed out after being ill or just in general quite a few times when younger so I had faith

This also has a bonus Michael part! I've decided to add his response to the boys reactions in its own format or else each one will just have a repeat of the same Michael Response

Warning: angst, implied vomitting, attempted murder, fainting, spoilers of lesson 37 and 16, gore on Michaels part, long

"from Michael...?" You questioned outloud, unsure on how to feel about the parcel you've found.

Your relationship with the angel wasn't a defined one. You didn't hate him but you didn't like him either; there was always something about his presence that made you fearful. You choked it up to be just internalised fear due to hearing the brothers experience of the celestial realm and angels.

You've never met him in person; the first conversation you had of him was when you stabbed yourself with the dagger instead of Lucifer. You saw the light and he spoke to you, surprised and shocked at the love you had for the demons. Even then you never really got to speak to him again, he was a mystery. You've sent a few letters and he's returned some and Simeon is a link between you two. But other than that? You didn't really have a relationship with him.

So why? Why would he send you a gift?

You looked inside to see a packet of apple pieces and herbs inside of a snack shaped teabag. You admired the unique shape and couldn't stop a small smile appearing. It was definitely cute! And you finally got to use the new kettle and cups barbatos got you.

You decided to text Simeon, telling him to thank Michael for your gift. He was surprised by this but agreed, happy you two were connecting.

Whilst your new tea brewed you were trying to figure out a way to repay his kindness. Sure it was simple small gift but he was reaching out - you were giddy! Hopeful this meant he was fully on board to the exchange program.

But you soon would regret drinking that tea. It was so sweet you couldn't stop drinking it; your lips only leaving the cup of a second of breath. It was addicting. The herb covered apples pieces gave it a nice slight bitterness. But it wasn't overbearing but didn't make it taste like sugar in your mouth.

As soon as the last gulp came down; something came up. You hunched over as your stomach churned, a disgusting taste forcing itself up your throat. Your vision growing blurry as you stumbled out of your seat, the light in your room feeling like knives to your eyes. You tried closing them but the effect didn't change. You were barely hunched over on your side releasing everything in your stomach. It stung your throat, your stomach feeling painfully empty.

There was this invisible feeling telling you to go to sleep. You wanted to obey but the light felt too painful. In your dazed state you shakily texted the groupchat a sloppy "help me ASAP, my room" before letting your body go limp, heaving as you just laid there, dragging a nearby jacket over your head and let your vision be consumed by the darkness.

Lucifer:

He's heart broken

How did this happen? You were fine and now you're not moving

Your breathing was faint against his neck as he held you

He saw the parcel and connected the dots, Eden's tea

It was a death sentence for any human, a treat for demons and a punishment for angels

He's started a war once, he can do it again

Whilst he knew he couldn't enter the celestial realm he demanded that Michael show himself

When his demands went unanswered, he was ready to break all rules

"He's gone too far, I don't care for his reasons! I WILL DESTORY THE CELESTIAL REALM IF I HAVE TO! HE WILL ANSWER ME!"

when you received a cure all his angers washed away with relief

Happy to have you awake again even if it was for a few moments

Mammon:

FLASHBACK ARE STRONG

All he can think about his how you looked like in the past; dying in his arms

He immediately went to blame belphie but almost tripped over the parcel

He's an idioit but he knew what this tea was

Becomes feral with rage and overly protective of your unconscious body

He's hunched over by your side at all times just growling at anyone who comes near you

He wanted to hurt Michael but he wanted to stay with you

He'd talk to you and tell you how he was going to get payback

"I should of known he'd do something-! I'll never forgive him- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! I'M DOING THIS FOR THEM!"

As soon as you get the cure he's hugging you and telling you how much he missed you

Levithan:

When he found you, his heart dropped

It only got worse when he found the parcel and realized what Michael has done

he will remind the celestial realm why he is an admiral of hell's navy

He spends time by the sea communicating with any creature he can get; telling them if things go down he'll need them to flood the gates of heaven

When he isn't planning war he's with you, playing games, trying to ignore how dead you looked

He would remind you what buttons to push when your chatacter didn't move

"YOU THINK I'LL JUST LET THIS SLIDE??!! HE'S KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!"

He broke down sobbing when you woke up after getting a cure

He was convinced you were dead but here you were, alive and awake

Satan:

He's a detective nerd so of course he scoped out the scene

When he found the parcel and Michaels name - oh boy

Never met the man and pities him for letting their first meeting be the angels demise

It wasn't long before he had to be detained

Screaming and tearing up anything he could, yelling at his brother's for falling

He blamed his brothers, he blamed Michael and he blamed himself

Hated being locked away from you, would course more of a fuss when he couldn't see you

"I WILL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME GET TO THAT DAMN ANGEL!! I HATE YOU!"

He's only calmed down when you are given a cure and he's told you're alive

Is finally allowed to see you and he holds you tight

Asmodeus:

When he found you he was sobbing

It only grew worse when he found out what happened

In Denial

Not of Michael, he believed that but in denial you were dead or were dying

Kept insisting you were just tired and sleeping

Destroyed an entire room when one of them insisted you weren't sleeping

He'd help you get ready and pamper you, telling you it's okay and you can thank him when you feel better

Would be seen wiping your face often in hopes it'll get rid of that death like appearance you have

"They're fine but Michael won't be, when my precious darling wakes up I'll make sure they know I'll make everything better."

When you bad your cure he started crying and laughing, telling everyone he was right

Clinged to you and let you sleep

Beezlebub:

He found the parcel almost immediately

And went into a rage - we all know how his hunger tantrums are

Would've destroyed the whole house if he wasn't restrained

Guilt

So much guilt, his shoulders are always sagging

Sits by your unconscious body so he feels like he's protecting you

Has tried kissing you awake

Hoping you'll wake up like a fairy tale Character and everything will be fine

"I'm going to kill Michael and I won't let any of you stop me....protect (Y/N) For me."

Was so happy and relieved when you got the cure, sticking to your side at all times even when you were awake

Belphegor:

He was quick to help you into bed and on your side

When he found the parcel he was ready to murder

His rage towards Michael massively outweighed his hatred for humanity - even Lucifer!

Beel couldn't keep control of him mostnofnthe time unless he got forceful, belphegor stuck in a headlock screeching bloody murder

Stress sleeping

Like many of the brothers he develops two modes: calm or PLANNING MASS MURDER

Whenever he gets overwhelmed he just forces body to shut down and sleep besides you

"Michael will face me again, I won't let him kill anyone else that I love! He got Lilith killed and he can't do the same for (Y/N)!"

As soon as the cure was found he was by your side

Letting you rest and watched over you

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Found out through the brothers

Sees this as an act of war against the peace he's working for

He was normally sweet and forgiving but it seemed Michael wanted to rip to his last nerve

Demanded for every reliable demon to search for a cure

Even had Solomon try to make one

"Barbatos, what is the possibility of Michael coming down to the devildom or the human realm? I want 'discuss' with him what his actions have caused."

As soon he he found out you were alive and safe

He didn't stop his plans but let himself have time with you

Barbatos:

So much guilt

Like holy shit

Is just constantly questioning how he didn't prevent this

Asked permission from the lord to just change the timelines so this didn't happen but the brothers were against it

They demanded they didn't avoid this situation and let Michael face punishment

That he couldn't refuse, he was angered by the angel's actions

More than he would ever show

"humans are so fragile and their time is so limited - that's why I'm never going to let anyone cut theirs short again."

Was part of the cure search party, he led the group

Once you were cured he stayed with you

Acting as your butler and made to check each of your foods and drinks

Solomon:

It wasn't a wise decision to piss off a wizard with stupid amount of pacts

To think an angel would do such a thing

But whilst Everyone lost their temper and searched for a cure

He was wondering - why did it happen

He was ordered asked to make you a cure

He was able to do it but the real cure was also found - giving you extra cure wasn't going to harm you

But he did plan to harm Michael

"you'd think he was smarter than this, he didn't even hide he was the one who did it but all it does is make my job easier."

nursed you until you woke up

Making sure you had mini cures to completely magic it out of your system

Simeon:

When he found out he was stunned

Betrayal - that's all he felt

How could Michael do such a thing?

But he knew Michael was a cruel angel, many having to drink Eden's tea as punishment

It burned their insides and had any poor soul sobbing for mercy after a gulp

"Michael you fool, you can get away with things in your league but you've involved the three realms into this....I pray you do not make your demise harder for yourself."

Was apart of the cure search party

Soothed you when you finally woke up, telling you it'll be okay

Let you rest as much as you wanted

Luke:

They tried to hide it from him but he kept demanding to see you

He wanted to know why everyone was acting strange

When he finally found out he was broken

His mentor

His idol

His everything

The person who always went for permission and knowledge

He thought so highly of him but he's hurt you

He's done more than that! He's tried to kill you!

He's been sobbing for days and locked himself away, he couldn't bare to see you after his once visit

He believed you were dead and they were just keeping your body

"Michael....why....why would you do this.... I thought you loved your brother's....I thought you were kind..!"

When he found out there was a cure he begged to help but they wouldn't let him

He only got to see you when you woke up and he was hugging you, crying

+ bonus Character↓

Michael:

The angel knew they'd be upset

But 9 demons wanting his blood? One wizard ready to cause mayhem and even his own kind wanting his downfall?

That he didn't expect

In his blind jealousy he didn't expect they'd all care for you this much

Thinking apart of them would be relieved you weren't there

But no

"You were my brother's before you were their partner, I'm simply doing what is right! It was their time to meet him and finally stop controlling all of you! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! I'M YOUR FAMILY! WHY ARE THEY MORE IMPORTANT?!"

He got his answer

His wings torn to shreds, chunks of flesh bitten off him and slashes all over his body

He was left in human world bleeding and barely recognisable

They didn't hold back

He dread to think what the rest of them would do when they find him

[thedeadhandofseldon]

The Anti-Mercer Effect

On the Accessibility of D&D, Why Unprepared Casters is so Fun, and Why Haley Whipjack is possibly the greatest DM of our generation.

(Apologies to my mutuals who aren’t in this fandom for the length of this, but as you all know I have never in my life shut up about anything so… we’ll call it even for the number of posts about Destiel I see every day.

To fellow UC fans - I haven’t listened to arc 4 yet, I started drafting this in early August, and I promise I will write a nice post about how great Gus the Bard is once I get the chance to listen to more of his DMing).

Structure - Or, “This is not the finale, there will be more podding cast”

So, first of all, let’s just talk about how Unprepared Casters works. Because it’s kind of unusual! Most of the other big-name D&D podcasts favor this long, grand arcs; UC has about 10 hours of podcast per each arc. And that’s a major strength in a lot of ways: it makes it really accessible to new listeners, because you can just start with the current arc and understand what’s going on!

And by starting new arcs every six or seven episodes, they can explore lots of ways to play D&D! Classic dungeon delve arc! Heist arc! Epic heroes save the world arc! Sportsball arc! They can touch on all sorts of things!

And while I’m talking about that: Dragons in Dungeons, the first arc, makes it incredibly accessible as a show - because it lets the unfamiliar listener get a sense of what D&D actually is. (It’s about telling stories and making your friends feel heroic and laugh and cry, for the record). If I had to pick a way to introduce someone to the game without actually playing it with them, that arc would definitely be it.

And I’d be remise not to note one very important thing: Haley Whipjack and Gus the Bard are just very funny, very charismatic people. Look. Episode 0s tend to be about 50%(?) those two just talking to each other about their own podcast. It shouldn’t work. And yet it DOES, its one of my favorite parts, because Haley and Gus are just cool.

And a side note that doesn’t fit anywhere else: I throw my soul at him! I throw a scone at him - that’s it, that’s the vibe. The whole podcast alternates between laughing with your friends and brooding alone in a dark tavern corner - but the laughs never forced and the dark corner is never too dark for too long.

Whipjack the Great - Or, the DM is Also a Player!

I think Haley Whipjack is one of the greatest Dungeon Masters alive. The plots and characters! The mechanical shenanigans! The descriptions!

Actually, let’s start there: with the descriptions. (Both Haley and Gus do this really fucking well). As we know, Episode 0 of each arc sees the DM reading a description - of a small town, or the Up North, or the recent history of a great party. And Haley always strikes this tricky balance - one I think a lot of us who DM struggle with - between giving too much description and  worldbuilding, and not telling us anything at all. She describes people and events in just enough detail to imagine them, but never so much they seem static and unreal - just clear enough to envision, but with enough vagueness left to let your imagination begin to run wild.

While I’m thinking about arc 3’s party, let’s talk about a really bold move she made in that arc: letting the players have ongoing control of their history. Loser Lars! She didn’t try to spell out every detail of this high-level party’s history, or restrict their past to only what she decided to allow - she gave them the broad outlines, and let them embellish it. And that made for a much more alive story than any attempt to create it by herself would have - but I think it takes a lot of courage to let your players have that agency. Most Dungeon Masters (myself included) tend to struggle with being control freaks.

And the plots! Yeah, arc one is built of classic tropes - but she actually uses them, she doesn’t get caught up in subverting everything or laughing at the cliches. And it’s fun! In arc 3, there really isn’t a straight line for the players to follow, either - which makes the game much more interesting and much trickier to run. And her NPCs are fantastic and I will talk about them in the next section.

Above all, though, I think what is really impressive is how Haley balances mechanics, and rules as written, with the narrative and rule of cool - and puts both rules and story in the service of playing a fun game. And the secret to that? She’s the DM, but the DM is a player, and the DM is clearly having fun. Hope Lovejoy mechanically shouldn’t get that spellslot back, but she does, and it’s fun. The changeling merchant in Thymore doesn’t really make some Grand Artistic Narrative better, but wow is it fun. And she never tries to force it one way or the other - the story might be more dramatic if Annie didn’t manage to banish the demon from the vault, but it’s a lot cooler and a lot more fun for the players if Annie gets to be a badass instead - and the rules and the dice say that Annie managed it.

Settings feel like places, NPCs feel like people, and the narrative plot feels like a real villainous plot.

Anyway. I could go on about the various ways in which Whipjack is awesome for quite a while - she’s right, first place in D&D is when your friends laugh and super first place is when they cry - but I’m going to stop here and just. Make another post about it some other time. For now, for the record I hold her opinions about the game in higher esteem than I do several official sourcebooks; that is all.

Characters - Or, Bombyx Mori Is Not an Asshole, And That Matters

Okay, I said I would talk about characters! And I will!

Just a general place to start: the party! All of the first three parties are interesting to me, because they all care about each other. Not even necessarily in a Found Family Trope sort of way, though often that too. But they generally aren’t assholes to each other. The players create characters that actually work together, that are interesting; even when there’s internal divisions like SK-73 v. Sir Mr. Person, they aren’t just unpleasant and antagonistic all the time. Listening to the podcast, we’re “with” these people for a couple hours - and it isn’t unpleasant. That matters a lot. (To take a counter-example: I love Critical Role, but the episode when Vox Machina pranked Scanlan after he died and was resurrected wasn’t fun to listen to, it was just uncomfortable and angering and vaguely cruel).

All of the PCs are amazing, and the players in each arc did a great job. If you disagree with me about that, well, you have the right to be incorrect and I am sorry for your loss. Annie Wintersummer, for one example: tragic and sad and I want to give her a hug, but also Fuck Yeah Wintersummer, and also her familiar Charles the Owl is the cutest and funniest and I love him. And we understand what’s going on with Annie, she isn’t some infinite pool of hidden depths because this arc is 7 episodes and we don’t have time for that, but she also has enough complexity to be interesting. Same with Fey Moss: yeah, a lot of her is a silly pun about fame that carries into how she behaves, but a lot of how she behaves is also down to some good classic half-elven angst about parenthood and wanting to be known and seen and important. (Side note: if your half-elf character doesn’t have angst, well, that’s impressive and also I don’t think I believe you).

There are multiple lesbian cat-people in a 4-person party and they both have requited romantic interests who aren’t each other. This is the future liberals want and I am glad for it.

Sir Mister Person, the human fighter! Thavius, the edge lord! Even when a character is “simple,” they’re interesting, because of how they’re played as people and not action-figures. And that matters a lot.

In the same way: the NPCs. There really aren’t a lot of them! And some of them come from Patreon submissions, so uh good work gang, you’re part of the awesomeness and I’m proud of you! The point being, the NPCs work because enough of them are interesting to matter. It’s not just a servant who opens Count Michael’s door, it’s a character with a name (Oleandra!) and a personality and history. They’re interesting. Penny Lovejoy didn’t need to be interesting, the merchant outside the Laughing Mausoleum didn’t need to be interesting, but they ARE! And Haley and Gus EXCEL at making the NPCs matter, not just to the story but to us as viewers. I agree with Sir Mister Person, actually, I would die for the princesses of the kingdom. I actually care about Gem Lovejoy of all people - that wouldn’t happen in an ordinary campaign! That’s the thing that makes Unprepared Casters spectacular - and, frankly, it’s especially impressive because D&D does not tend to be good at making a lot of interesting compared to a lot of other sorts of stories.

And, just as an exemplar of all this: Bombyx Mori. Immortal, reincarnating(?), and described as the incarnation of the player’s ADHD. I expected to hate Bombyx, because as the mom friend both in and out of my friend-group’s campaigns, the chaos-causer is always exhausting to me. And yeah, Bombyx causes problems on purpose! But! She is not an asshole.

And that’s important. Bombyx goes and sits with the queen and comforts her. Bombyx gives Annie emotional support. Bombyx isn’t just a vehicle to jerk around the DM and other players; Bombyx really is a character we can care about. To compare with another case - in the first couple episodes of The Adventure Zone, the PCs are just dicks. Funny, but dicks. Bombyx holds out an arm “covered in larva” to shake with a count, and robs him of magical items, but she also cares about her friends and other people! She uses a powerful magical gem to save her fertilizer guy from death! Yeah, Bombyx is ridiculous, but she’s not just an asshole the party has to keep around for plot reasons; you can see why her party would keep her around. And one layer of meta up, she’s the perfect example of how to make a chaotic character like that while still being fun for everyone you’re playing with, which is often not the case. And I love her.

The Anti-Mercer Effect - Or, “I think we proved it can be fun, you can have a good time with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be scary, you can just work with what you know”

The Mercer Effect basically constitutes this: Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master of Critical Role, is incredible (as are all of his players). They’re all professional story-tellers in a way, remember, and so Critical Role treats D&D like a narrative art-form, and it’s inspiring. Seeing that on Critical Role sets impossible standards - and people go into their own home games imagining that their campaigns will be like Critical Role, and the burden of that expectation tends to fall disproportionately on the DM. And the end result, I think, of the Mercer Effect is that we get discouraged or intimidated, because our game isn’t “as good as” theirs. (And I should note - Matt certainly doesn’t want that to be our reaction).

So the Anti-Mercer Effect is two things: it’s D&D treated like a game, and it’s inspiring but not intimidating. And Unprepared Casters manages both of those really freaking well. Because they play it like a game! A UC arc looks just like a good campaign in anyone’s home game. They have the vibes of 20-somethings and college students playing D&D for fun because that’s who they are (as a 20-something college student who plays a lot of D&D, watching it felt like watching my friends play an especially good campaign). They’re trying to tell a good story, sure, and they always do. But first and foremost, they’re trying to have fun, and it shows, and I love the UC cast for it.

And that’s the other half of it: it’s inspiring! It’s approachable; you can see that Haley and Gus put plenty of work into preparing the game but it also doesn’t make you feel like you need hundreds of pages of worldbuilding to run a game. Sometimes a cleric makes Haley cry and she gives them back a spell-slot from their deity! That’s fantastic! It’s just inspiring - listening to this over the summer, when my last campaign had fallen apart under the strain of graduation, is why I decided to plan and run my new one!

That quote from Haley Whipjack that I used as the title for this section? That’s the whole core of this idea, and really, I think, the core of the podcast.

The Mercer Effect is when you go “that’s really cool, I could never do that.” But Unprepared Casters makes you look at D&D and go “wow, that looks really fun. I bet I can do that!” And I love the show for it.

And I bet a lot of you do too.

[bluejayblueskies]

i cannot stop thinking about tma hell's kitchen au

(@f0xesand0wls thank you for enabling me)

- elias is the head chef, and peter and gertrude are his sous chefs. there are 20 total chefs in the competition: red team: jon, tim, georgie, daisy, naomi, agnes, gerry, jordan, helen/michael, oliver blue team: martin, sasha, melanie, basira, mike, jude, julia, jared, jane, manuela

- the black jackets are jon, martin, tim, sasha, georgie, and melanie, and the finalists are jon and martin. the winner is probably martin, but it doesn't really matter, because the actual plot of this is a jonmartin rivals-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn

- annabelle is the one who puts all of the film and audio together at the end. jmart watch the show once it's put on television and go 'what the fuck i didn't say any of that' because that's how reality tv is babey

- martin is one of those chefs who does poorly at the beginning but gets better and ends up in the final two. even though he's not on the same team as jon, jon is like 'this guy sucks' and maybe martin messes something up for jon early on and jon decides he does not like martin.

- jon is so nervous that he's going to screw up and get sent home early (he doesn't have formal culinary training and feels deeply underqualified) so he's very stiff and overly professional at the beginning. he relaxes over time as he becomes more confident in his own cooking and as he does well at challenges and dinner services.

- somewhere around chapter/episode 5, martin tells jon that he doesn't have any formal culinary training and that he said he did in order to get into the restaurant job he had prior to coming on the show. he's been cooking for his mother since he was ten though, and jon surprises himself by saying that that's a lot more impressive than studying technique in france or something. that's the catalyst of their transition from rivals into friends

- somewhere around episode 8, jude (who got switched to the red team a few episodes prior) gets eliminated, but on the dinner service before she does, there's an incident in the kitchen and jon's hand gets burnt pretty badly (not so badly that he has to go home, and he fights through the rest of dinner service because of course he does). he insists he doesn't have to go to the hospital for it, and elias reluctantly agrees and has the medic look at it. in the dorms later, martin helps jon unwrap it and put more burn cream on it and change the bandages and... yeah <3

- daisy and jon do not get along at first, and daisy actually tries to sabotage jon early in the season/fic. jon nearly gets eliminated because of it and he is not happy. then, a good few episodes later, the red team wins a challenge and they go on some sort of outdoorsy award and something happens and jon saves daisy from getting seriously injured. they're on better terms after that.

- when jon, tim, sasha, martin, melanie, and georgie get black jackets, elias (like every actual season of hell's kitchen) brings their family members/friends in for them to see. jon gets his grandmother, tim his brother, sasha her mother, georgie her best friend alex, and melanie some of her ghosthunt uk (the restaurant) friends. the only person martin has is his mother, and they tell him that she was too sick to come, but he can't shake the feeling that she just didn't want to. she didn't even agree to make him a video. it's a very awkward affair, and after the challenge (which tim wins) jon stands by martin while they're... idk, peeling 200 pounds of potatoes or something and they talk about it and they talk about a lot of their personal lives. for most of the competition, they're very aware that they're on camera at all times, but jon decides that being there for martin is more important than worrying about that.

- jon wins the next black jacket challenge and, when asked who he wants to invite on the reward, invites martin. they get to go wine tasting in a beautiful vinyard together and then they get some time to sit in the vinyard and just relax. martin probably realized he had a crush on jon around... episode/chapter 8? pretty soon after his admission that he doesn't have formal training. this episode is when jon realizes that he has a crush on martin, and the wine tasting suddenly seems very romantic and he gets very flustered. martin just thinks he's getting nervous since they're getting closer to the end of the competition.

- it's martin and jon in the finals. martin has tim, melanie, basira, and agnes on his bridage and jon has sasha, georgie, daisy, and gerry. in the middle of the entrees, something goes very wrong in martin's kitchen (not because of martin, because agnes burns like... ten racks of lamb or something ridiculous like that) and it looks like martin might not even be able to finish and he's freaking out just a little bit, so jon does something incredibly stupid and tells sasha to take charge of the kitchen for a moment and goes over into the other kitchen and pulls martin aside and takes martin's hands in his and is like 'it's okay, you're okay, everything's going to be okay. you're extremely talented and an amazing chef and an amazing person and i love you and this is not your fault and you're going to go back out there and get things back on track.'

jon goes back to his kitchen, elias yelling at him the whole way, and martin kicks agnes out and gets his kitchen back under control and they have no other issues that night. and martin's brain completely skips over the 'i love you' until the end of service, when the adrenaline wears off and they start to clear down and jon gives him this smile and suddenly martin remembers and he's like 'oh fuck'

but jon doesn't say anything about it so martin assumes he hadn't meant to say it, because of course he didn't, because they're competing for a job and $250,000 and he probably just heard jon wrong or something. jon probably said 'i love your cooking' and martin's just being stupid and letting his crush get away from him. so they both go back and sit in the dorms and wait for elias to call them up to his office. meanwhile, jon also remembers that he accidentally let i love you slip and he's having a bit of a crisis about it because on the one hand he meant it, but on the other hand he should not have said it then and martin hasn't said anything, so maybe he didn't even hear.

still, martin needs to thank jon. so he's eventually like 'thank you for what you did back there. i don't think i would have made it through service without what you said.' then, after a moment, because it is a competition: 'why did you help me? you could have let me drown and you'd have a secure win'

and jon just shrugs and says, 'because you needed help, and i... i care about you. i didn't want to see you fail. you are a good chef, martin, and i... i know you deserve this job just as much as me. you can go work at elias's restaurant and i can go back to mine and... and that'll be okay, if that's what happens'

and martin realizes suddenly that jon lives across the country from him normally and he doesn't know if he'll be able to see jon after this (chefs are busy people, after all, not a lot of time for family and such) and before he can really think about it he's like 'i wouldn't be okay with that' and then when jon just looks at him he clarifies, 'i... i don't want to just go back to living in [washington?], working all day and coming home to an empty apartment, and you'll go back to [new york?] and i... will i even see you again? because it's been so nice, being here, being with you, and i want to see you again, jon. every day.' he hesitates a moment, then decides fuck it, if i'm wrong, at least i'll only be embarrassed for a little while longer and says, 'what you said during service. did you mean it?'

and jon, tentatively, is like, 'that you're a good chef? yes, martin, i meant it, of course i did' and martin's like 'no, the... the other thing you said. right in the middle of it all. i- i don't know if i heard you right, and i just... i need to know if you meant it'

and it would be easy for jon to say no, to pretend like he didn't. but instead, he sits next to martin on the couch and takes martin's hand in his and nods and says, 'i... i've meant it for quite some time, i think' and he smiles at martin, a little bit shy, and martin's overwhelmed with affection and he reaches for jon's face, leans forward, and--

and the phone rings. unfortunately. because elias made a decision

- martin's door opens and jon's doesn't. jon thinks he should feel crushed, and he does feel disappointed, but mostly he's just so, so happy for martin. martin is stunned, and tim and sasha and georgie and melanie and basira and daisy are waiting for him below to congratulate him. martin's stuck in a round of thank yous when he turns and sees jon, who's run down the stairs to join the celebration and is looking at martin with those same eyes he would get when he was determined to win a challenge or finish a dish that needed two more minutes in one minute. and then jon just hugs martin, so tightly martin can barely breathe, and he mumbles into martin's neck, 'i would very much like to kiss you, but i very much do not want our first kiss to be on national television' and martin laughs and hugs jon tightly in return and mumbles back, 'i love you too, jon. just in case it wasn't obvious' and even though jon just lost, he's never been happier

- (they watch the show when it comes out together half a year later, in the little bit of free time they have around running their own respective restaurants, and they spend the whole time picking it apart

jon: okay i did not say that, where did they even get that from??

martin: god do i really look like that from behind...

jon: oh christ. martin, i- i think they thought i wanted to have sex with you. ugh, they've put on weird romantic music. red lighting. i hate this. i clearly did not--no, martin, don't give me that look, you know what i mean.

martin: wow, this makes us look like terrible chefs

and, at the end:

jon: christ, of course they were recording us in the dorms after the last service. this is a cooking competition, not a romance.

martin: eh, it was a bit of a romance.

jon: hush, i'm trying to watch. they're about to announce the winner. i don't have much hope for this chef martin; after all, he did burn that risotto back in episode 2--

martin, trying not to laugh while he glares at jon: oh my god jon let it go)

[spaceskam]

woke me up from the longest dream

Summary: Alex and Michael follow up on a lead and find something powerful.

Tags: canon compliant (for the most part), visions, road trips, my deep sky still sucks agenda

ao3

"Why is it so fucking cold?" 

"Welcome to Montana," Alex said dryly.

Michael made a face and shoved his hands in his pockets. He was doing his best to be mature about Alex inviting him on this trip. It was another loose lead he found and he was irritated that he didn't find it until after he came back home. Michael had offered to help after a grueling time in self-induced misery and Alex had agreed and he had planned to use this time to show Alex how much he'd grown.

However, there was something about being alone with Alex that made him feel a little like he hadn’t. 

"Are you not cold?"

"Didn't we deduce that your species is from a really cold planet due to your body temperature and the clothing Tripp described they were wearing?" Alex asked back.

Michael was used to a vaguely snarky Alex, it was in his genetic makeup. This was a different level though. Alex was in one of the worst moods Michael had ever seen him in that didn't result in a fight, instead it was all icy silence and irritated answers. Michael wasn't sure if it was because of his breakup with Forrest or if it was something else entirely. Maybe it was the fact that Michael was here at all.

He decided to keep quiet.

"You got me," Michael said, taking slightly bigger strides to keep up with Alex.

They were in a small town that served as a hub for a few even smaller towns that surrounded it. It had one small stretch of road with all the local businesses in it, a shabby hotel, a diner, and a farmer's market being the three biggest options. There were a couple others buildings, but Michael couldn't say what they were by just looking at them from the outside.

Alex seemed to know where he was headed though and he waltzed up to a building that was only identifiable by a sign that was meant to say CORRIE'S but was missing a few letters and said CORE instead. He pushed the door open and Michael followed. The inside had the heater blasting in a way that immediately smothered him, but he managed to keep his face even. It looked like a convenience store with only three rows of shelves in the middle. A sign at the back door read GAS PUMP IN BACK. Michael thought that was bad advertising.

"Hello," an older woman at the counter greeted. She seemed to be the only one here.

"Hey," Alex said, approaching her and turning on an easy smile. Logically Michael just knew he was being charming to get what he came here for. Illogically, it felt like Alex could be nice to everyone but him.

How many times could he tell himself to grow up? 

"What can I help you two with?" she asked. 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but this place is owned by someone who used to live in Fort Belknap?" Alex said, not even beating around the bush to charm her more. That was the only thing to convince him it wasn't just him. 

The woman stared at him, face unchanging. 

"Who's asking?" 

"Holt," Alex said, smiling and tilting his head a little bit, "Carla Holt, to be more specific."

She breathed in and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them a few moments later. 

"Their timing has always been impeccable," she said, gesturing towards a door behind her, "Come."

"Who's Carla Holt?" Michael whispered to him as they followed. Alex grabbed his arm and squeezed, nearly causing Michael to fully trip over air. 

"Just follow my lead. Stay quiet," Alex explained quietly, "I'll tell you later."

And Michael did as he said. 

"You must be the littlest Manes boy," the woman said as she led them into a little office. It was cluttered and didn't really seem like the top secret place Michael was imagining. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Corrie," she corrected, "I never did like the sound of ma'am."

"Alright," Alex said, laughing lightly even though didn't reach his eyes, "My mother told me the same thing." 

"I bet so," Corrie said, digging through messy drawers of a desk. She sat down heavily into the beat up chair and started digging through a file cabinet. "I kept telling myself it'll eventually come and bite me in the ass, carrying secrets for someone I only hear from once every few years, but you never know what you're getting yourself into until after you're stuck."

"Yeah, I know how that feels," Alex sighed. Michael's eyes drifted to him. He avoided eye contact completely.

"I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting you. Your brother, maybe. Part of me expected your father to bust down my door more than anyone," she went on. Corrie pulled out a small box and opened it, looking in and making a face before closing it and tossing it over her shoulder. 

"Guess I'm the sucker who agreed to clean up duty."

Corrie laughed.

Truly, Michael expected more danger and more difficulty. He expected a fight or at least tension. Instead, Alex and Corrie made small talk about their shitty affiliations while Corrie dug through decades worth of clutter. Eventually, she pulled out a box and opened it and took a deep breath. She closed it again before giving it to Alex and Alex didn't reopen it so Michael had no idea what was in it. All he knew was that it went into Alex's bag.

"Thank you "

"Keep it safe," Corrie said, "Keep yourself safe." Then for the first time her eyes drifted to Michael. "You too. There aren't many of you left."

It was hot in the building, but somehow Michael felt like he'd jumped in ice water.

"Thank you."

"Mhm. Now get the hell out of my store before somebody follows you."

"Of course. Thank you again," Alex said politely and then he did as she said, turning on his heel and walking away. Michael wanted to stay and ask more–if she knew what he was, maybe she knew things he didn't and they could get rid of Mr. Jones–but Michael simply followed Alex's lead.

"Alex," Michael said, nearly having to jog to keep up. Alex opened the door of the store and a blast of cold hit Michael in the face, colder than before due to the extreme warmth inside. It took him a moment to reboot his mind enough to finish what he was saying. "Alex, what's in the box?"

Alex managed to close his eyes and shake his head in disapproval without slowing his pace. 

"Can you wait until we get to the hotel?" Alex asked, cold again. Michael nodded despite the fact Alex couldn't see him, deciding that a verbal answer probably would be annoying in itself. 

The problem with silence was that it was a sure way to get Michael to spiral. He had discovered very recently that being alone when he wanted to be alone the most was the worst idea. Now, he didn't want to be alone as much as he wanted answers. Walking in silence down a street while wondering what was in Alex's bag, who Carla Holt was, why Alex was angry, etc, etc, etc, was only making his mind race.

By the time they stepped into the lobby of the hotel, Michael was sure that Alex had just borrowed a bomb from an old lady and he was going to explode himself and whoever Carla Holt was was going to hunt Michael down in revenge. He of course didn't say that. Instead, he tapped his foot as Alex requested a room with two queens and didn't realized that the worker snorted because he was assuming they were two queens until after they were already heading to the room. 

"Should I go spit in his drink?" Michael asked when he realized. 

"No," Alex said, "You'd probably make it taste too sweet."

Michael again found himself stumbling over nothing and he looked at Alex, wondering what the hell was he talking about. But it was the nicest thing he'd said to him the whole trip and Michael decided to take it very personally. 

"You sayin' I'm sweet?" Michael asked, grinning. A smile pulled at Alex's mouth that he very quickly schooled, slowing as he came to their room. 

"I'm saying your saliva, and probably your other bodily fluids, have a higher concentration of a glucose-like chemical," Alex said, "As proved by Kyle and Liz when we got drunk."

"You guys drunkenly tested our saliva's glucose levels?" Michael asked, laughing a little. Alex finally speaking to him made his brain stop wandering as much. Not completely–he was still wondering about that box–but enough.

"We were talking," Alex said, unlocking the door with the keycard, "And noticed we all thought you three tasted sweeter than other people we'd kissed and, well, you know. So we did some tests."

"That's... Interesting," Michael said, letting the door close behind them.

Alex walked over to the bed closest to the door and carefully sat his bag down. Michael watched him, staying near the door. He was still unsure about where they stood. He knew Alex cared about him and he knew Alex didn't hate him, but he was also still holding him at arm's length. And then there was that box. He didn't want to push.

But Michael wasn't known for his patience. 

"Alex," Michael said, "What's in that box?"

Alex swallowed and looked up at him for a moment before patting the bed beside him. An invitation. One that made Michael's stomach drop and twist in 11 knots. But he walked closer, sitting beside Alex. Alex stared at him, his features slowly loosening up to betray his feelings. His eyebrows pulled together in that kind of worry that meant he felt like he was drowning, scrambling to pull himself to the surface and never able to get a good grip. Which would explain the coldness, he supposed.

"You know you can trust me, right? I'm... I'm working on not being so self-destructive, and, like, knowing I'm helping you out kinda helps when I feel shitty," Michael said. Alex huffed a small laugh and shook his head, dropping his chin to his chest for a moment. When he looked Michael in the eye again, he was back to being serious. 

"I did something stupid," Alex said, softly like it was a secret, "I agreed to something without knowing what I was getting myself into. And I'm kind of stuck right now."

"Stuck? What do you mean stuck?" Michael said, following his lead and whispering.

"I'm figuring it out, alright? Don't worry. I'll tell you later," Alex said, reaching out to squeeze his arm before dropping it back to the bed, "And I checked before we even left that I wasn't bugged and I've kept my eye out to know that we aren't being followed. And my computer definitely isn't. We're good. They're tracking me, but only to the extent I'm letting them. It's okay." 

"That doesn't sound okay," Michael said.

"Trust me like I trust you, alright?" He said. Michael reluctantly nodded. "I need you to hold something for me."

Michael blinked. "The box."

"Yeah."

"Who's Carla Holt?" Michael asked. Alex smiled softly

"It's not a who, it's a what. It's a code from my mom's side of things. She knows more about the alien shit than she let on," Alex sighed, "I didn't stand a fucking chance not being involved with this shit. My dad, my mom, you. So, you know, if you ever feel bad about that, it's my fucking destiny." 

Michael swallowed and nodded, feeling more eager by the second to know what was in that box. Needed to keep hearing Alex say how fated they were to know each other. Needed Alex to touch his arm again and smile.

"Okay," Michael said, trying to stay in his own space, "So we're fated. Cosmic connection. Called it."

Alex broke into a wide smile, genuine and welcoming as he shoved Michael's shoulder gently. "Shut up."

"Show me," Michael said instead. Alex's smile faded just a little.

"Do me a favor and double check our surroundings," Alex said. Michael nodded and tilted his head, sending a chair to lodge itself under the doorknob and pressed the curtains tightly to the wall. His eyes slid closed as he did a mental sweep of the building, not noticing anything out of order. When he opened his eyes again, Alex seemed to be closer. "Thanks." 

"Show me." 

Alex sighed and nodded, hesitantly reaching into his bag and pulling out the box. It was clear now that it was made of really nice wood, intricate carvings covering it. Alex handled it with an extreme care that Corrie didn't have with it. His eyes flickered between the box and Michael a few dozen times before he hesitantly opened it and Michael leaned closer to see.

"It's just a ring," Michael said, almost disappointed. It looked like a normal, silver band that was old and unpolished after years of being tucked away. 

"Not just a ring," Alex said, he kept his fingers very precise as he picked it up. Michael didn't miss the way it seemed to ripple at his touch.

"Something alien," Michael acknowledged.

"Something alien," Alex confirmed, "Most of the glass and even the rocks that you've had so far all seem to be crafted and at least heavily altered by your people to be as useful as they are. This... This was passed down as a pure substance that was mined and cut into a wedding band to mimic human customs." Alex looked at him. "It pre-dates your mother landing here, Michael."

Michael let out a shaky breath, eager and hungry for knowledge for the first time in a long time. He'd poured over Tripp's journal over and over, poured over Caulfield and Project Shepard records, all of it painful and sickening with an unhappy ending. And now there was something new– old –that might actually give him something more. Proof that aliens were here before his mother, proof that there was a reason they came to Earth of all places. More secrets he craved to uncover. He missed the feeling. 

"It's powerful and, as far as I can tell, the last of it left. The rest was probably destroyed with your planet. But it's old and... and sentimental. One of the older women on the reservation told me the sentimentality powered it more. Because it's not just a ring that symbolizes love or a bond between two people, but it's a new start. Blending the past they chose to leave behind together with something new and different. Safer and secure. Together," Alex said. Michael swallowed, eyes unable to break away from Alex's. Alex cleared his throat and looked back down at it. "That's what she said anyway. There was probably two at one point, but I'm sure the other is lost to time."

"Yeah, okay. Okay," Michael said, agreeing without hesitation, "I'll take care of it and keep it safe."

He went to grab it, but Alex pulled it out of his reach.

"Michael," he said, "When I say it's powerful, I mean the moment you put it on, something's going to… happen."

Michael hadn't really intended to put it on, but it seemed Alex knew him well enough to know that eventually he would. 

"What kind of something?" 

"I don't know, Michael. I just know legend says it has unspeakable levels of power. So, please, be careful with it. I'd prefer you do it with someone around in case it overloads you or something," Alex said. Michael didn't point out what Isobel had before–he was the only one who didn't have a limit.

"Why not just put it on right now?" Michael said, "We're in the clear and you're here. Why not?" 

Alex breathed in and out, staring at him with that same worried, downing look. Michael selfishly enjoyed it for a few moments–enjoying that he cared that much. So he smirked and held out his left hand, feeling confident.

"Go ahead, Alex. Put a ring on it," he said. A smile pulled at Alex's lips that he fought, but he relaxed his shoulders and grabbed Michael's hand with his empty one.

Alex's hand was warm. Michael was sort of obsessed with the feeling of it. Why hadn't they been holding hands this entire time? 

"I'm right here, okay? So if you need me to take it off or if you feel like you're going to lose control, let me know. Try not to throw me," Alex said. Michael rolled his eyes.

"I don't give a shit how much power I have injected into me, I'm not going to hurt you," Michael said. Alex raised an eyebrow. "Physically. Come on now, cut me some slack."

"Maybe," Alex said, putting the ring closer. Michael could feel it now that it was millimeters away from his skin, the power of it overwhelming. And Michael was intrigued. "Ready?"

"Always."

Alex slid the ring onto his ring finger.

The wave of power hit him instantly and, before he could adjust, sent him into a mindscape. Or–he thought it was. The room was damp and dark, unwelcoming. Michael looked around for something, someone, but he was alone. It was crowded with things, though, inventions and technological structures. It looked like his own lair but significantly less familiar, less comforting. 

“Michael?”

Michael turned towards the voice and saw Alex at the top of a ladder, staring down at him with a face that said he was doing everything to stay calm. He had red stains on his clothes. Michael stared at him, unsure what to do. Alex was down the ladder and centimeters away from him so quickly that it could only be achieved by him seeing something that wasn’t happening just yet.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Michael said, instinctually, “Where are we? What is this place?”

Alex looked around the room, his face betraying his pain before he met Michael’s eyes again. Then his hand was on Michael’s cheek with a warm and grounding presence. Michael’s heart was about to burst out of his chest.

“My research,” he sighed, “Half of it’s destroyed anyway. Let’s go.” Michael didn’t really think that sounded right. This didn’t feel like Alex’s space. He’d been in enough of Alex’s spaces before to know what they felt like. This wasn’t it.

“Your research?” he said. Alex gave him a look and stroked his thumb over his cheekbone.

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Stop that,” Michael said, his voice sounding more irritated than he meant. He could feel the anger in his body, but he didn’t know the source. “Stop not telling me things. You keep doing that. You need to tell me.”

“You’re right,” Alex agreed, swallowing, “But we need to get out of here. I swear I’ll tell you once we get in the car. But we need to get out of here.”

“You promise you’ll tell me in the car?” Michael said. Alex nodded.

“I promise.”

They were upstairs just as fast as Alex had been downstairs. Michael saw blood. He turned his head to find the source, but Alex’s hand was back on his neck to stop him.

“Don’t look. Let’s just go to the car.”

“What, you tryna baby me?” Michael asked, “You know I’ve seen some shit.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alex said, still leading him towards the door as his thumb dug slightly into the muscle on his neck, “Doesn’t mean I have to show you more.”

Michael sucked in a breath and he was thrown back into his body, the power from the ring still thrumming through him and teasing a possible second surge. It was old and unused and desperate to stretch out some of it's pent up energy.

Alex was there, staring at him and holding onto him. He was so close, so real, and so was that memory that was just in the opposite direction. Michael stared at him, taking him in.

"What happened?" Alex asked, hands squeezing his biceps. His hand started to slide up, but stopped at his shoulder. "Hey, you with me?" 

"Yeah," Michael said, "I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"I think, uh," Michael breathed, swallowing. His throat felt dry again. The heat of the hotel seemed to work with the heat inside him; he was on fire in the best way. "I got, like, That's So Raven'd."

Alex blinked a couple times, his thumb moving in slow circles against his collarbone not too far from where it’d been moments ago in his vision. Michael wanted to let his eyes roll back into his head and just sink into the bed with Alex beside him and let this undeniable strength course through him.

"You saw the future?" he said, "Like one of Maria's visions?" 

"I think so," Michael confirmed, "Only… mine wasn't of something bad. I mean, not really, anyway."

"What was it?" Alex asked. 

Michael licked his lips, studying Alex for a moment. The ring on his finger fit perfectly as if it was made for him. The power it gave settled nicely in him, pulsing and eager to be used just a little bit more, but in a childish, playful way. It wanted to stretch after too many years being cooped up.

"Hey, I'm going to try to see something else," Michael said. Alex's eyes went wide as saucers.

"What? Tell me what you saw the first time," Alex pressed, his hand shifting just enough to cup the side of his neck. Michael layered his hand over his, feeling bold and unperturbed. At some point, they were going to get there. He was sure of that more now than ever. 

And he wanted to see more.

" Michael ," Alex said, but Michael closed his eyes and breathed in, letting the power in the ring take him somewhere else.

And he was somewhere else. 

He was standing at the end of a driveway. He looked around and tried to grab some sort of identifier, but all he saw was a house behind him and then a school bus headed towards him. It stopped in front of him, a kid stepping off and running towards him with a backpack almost as big as she was. 

"Daddy!" the kid yelled and Michael tried his damnedest to act like he was meant to be here as the little body slammed against his legs for a welcoming hug. "Is Dad home yet? Can you tell him to get ice cream? I think we need ice cream."

"Oh, you think we need it?" Michael asked, walking with the kid towards the house. It felt natural, oddly enough. 

"Yes," the kid said simply, running towards the door. She threw it open and Michael laughed and jogged the rest of the way. He could hear her already telling a story about school and he was trying to stay close enough to follow.

He walked into a foyer, pictures lining the wall. Family portraits.

Him and Alex. The three of them.

When Michael came back to his senses, Alex was right there again and staring at him without faltering. The ring was still alive, but it was at a sated hum now that it had been used a few times. He wondered how it would feel doing something he understood. He couldn’t wait to try.

“Hey,” Alex said, soft and comforting as he welcomed his weight. The vision he had was definitely not what he was looking for, he wanted to know more about Alex’s research and why it all felt so wrong and where the hell they were, but the second one… 

“Hi,” Michael said, breathing and his eyes drifting down to his lips. Michael had experienced a lot of urges to kiss Alex before. Somehow this felt more dire.

“Please don’t do that again,” Alex said, “Maybe we should take it off.”

Michael shook his head carefully, eyes scanning him, “No, it feels fine now. It just needed to be used after being in a little box for decades. It’s good. Feels good.”

“Okay,” Alex said, still clearly hesitant. His fingers played with the hair at the back of Michael’s neck. There were two beds, but Michael was trying to figure out how to convince him to share one. They could fit. They’d shared smaller. “What’d you see?”

Michael breathed deep, wanting to get closer. He kept his hands to himself no matter how much he wanted to touch. He was being good. To get to where those visions said he was headed, he had to be good. Good for himself and Alex.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Michael said softly, “What are you researching? Who are you working with?”

Alex blinked once, twice before dropping his hand off of Michael. Which definitely hurt, but the fact that Alex didn’t move away definitely helped. 

“What did you see?” Alex asked again, more pressing, “I know you saw that I’m researching something.”

Michael shrugged. He technically did, but he didn’t see anything identifiable. He didn’t know what it was. He would like to. Then again, he’d always wanted to know everything about Alex Manes.

“I didn’t see what,” Michael said, “I just saw that someone’s going to fuck with it. I think. I don’t know, we were in this basement looking thing and it felt really off and, and not like you, but you said your stuff was in it. And you had blood on you and when we went upstairs, there was more blood. But you said not to look. I don’t know what you did or what happened, but, like, if you told me, maybe we can prevent it getting that extreme.”

Alex stared at him for a long moment. 

“You saw that both times?” Alex asked softly. Michael hesitated before shaking his head. “What else did you see, then?”

“Um,” Michael breathed, trying to think of the right words to say, “Uh. I don’t think, um…”

“ Michael.”

“Family portraits,” he said carefully, figuring that was easier to start with than a whole person who called them dad, “Like, ours. Um. I know we don’t belong in suburbia, but I guess we fucking get it anyway.”

He laughed. It wasn’t funny, but it was easier to say it like it was a joke. Alex looked at him, face confused.

“Suburbia? Like. White picket fence kinda thing?” Alex asked. Michael took a slow breath.

“I, uh, I didn’t see a fence, I was too focused on the‒” he stopped, licking his lips. Michael rubbed his thumb over the ring. It seemed to purr at the attention. Michael couldn’t wait to get back home and see what he could really do.

“On the what?” Alex prodded, reaching out to rest his hand on his leg and reigniting the contact. It felt so good. Michael really liked when he was touchy, it was his favorite thing about Alex.

“Um,” Michael breathed, feeling drunk off the attention and the ring all at once. He thought about lying, maybe that they were babysitting because that was close enough, but he was so tired of lies and half-truths and I’ll-tell-you-laters. “On the kid.”

Alex froze for a moment, “The kid?”

“Yeah,” Michael said, shrugging softly, “I, uh, I guess she was ours. She was calling us dad. Do we have any water? My throat is super dry.”

“I… I don’t think you’re seeing the future then, I’m never having kids. Do you realize how awful of a parent I would be? Awful. Neglectful. That’s not… And after I clearly fucking hurt people?”

“Maybe not,” Michael said, not about to argue right now. He was too busy feeling good. Alex kept his hand on his knee. “But whatever it was, it was good.”

Alex stared at him, quiet and clearly thinking things through. Michael let him. It was easier to give him space and time now. He’d gotten better at it before his visions, but they solidified to him that they were on a good path. It felt like they were making good choices and taking good steps. This was just a part of it.

Alex eventually took a deep breath, looked him in the eye.

“I’m gonna tell you what I’m doing, but you have to promise you’re going to stay out of it and trust me,” Alex said, “You promise?”

“I promise.”

“And you’re gonna promise to be honest with me?” Alex said, “And stay safe. Like, seriously. Don’t be reckless just because. I know you.”

I know you.

“Yeah. I’m doing better now,” Michael said, stretching his hand out, “I am. But I’m… I’m tired of not doing shit together. Doing stuff separately always gets us in shitty situations, Alex, I wanna be a team. Can I be on your team?”

Alex swallowed and moved his hand up, tucking Michael’s hair behind his ear.

“Yeah. Be on my team. Let’s be a team,” Alex said. He shifted and Michael waited patiently, watching him. “Okay, so. Deep Sky. It’s… it’s got some good people, I think, but it’s overall fucked. I don’t trust anyone in there, but it’s where I’m doing my research. Sort of. So I’ll tell you.”

It almost felt too good to be true to hear, but he didn’t need the ring to know that Alex was being honest. It showed him anyway. Truthfulness radiated off of him in vibrant blues and whites. He didn’t even need to get in his mindscape to be sure of it. It was strange to feel like that was unnecessary, like his body didn’t need confirmation because it already knew.  It didn’t feel like he was stepping off a ledge. He hoped Alex had the same confidence, wondered what would happen if he put the ring on him.

If Alex still felt like he was stepping off the ledge, he was going to be sure to catch every inch of him this time. No piece would hit the ground like all the times before.

He was going to make this work.

“Everything?” 

“Everything.”

[fandom-monium]

For the Holidays

Summary: In which Spencer does not want to go to his high school reunion, but you tagging along changes things. “You doubting my skills, Dr. Reid?”

WC: 2.1k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fake-dating trope, pining (so much pining), Morgan trying to be a good big bro (and wingman)

Spencer Reid does not hate Christmas.

“Reid, come on⎼”

“No.”

“Just listen to me.”

“I did, and it’s a stupid idea.”

No, really. Because hating Christmas would imply he didn’t care. Which he does.

Like when Garcia never fails to drag him into decorating the bullpen every year. Obnoxious Christmas music plays in the background as they bomb Hotch’s office, and it’s worth the smile on his face when he walks in the next morning.

It would mean hating Rossi and his extravagant dinner parties. And yeah, he always hosts but these are just as special if not more so. His mansion is decked in fairy lights and streamers, the food are traditional holiday recipes, and the whole place seems a little less massive.

And he doesn’t hate his breaks. He nearly spits out his coffee when Morgan grumbles about how he almost tripped and fell over from the ice. He has to scramble away as the older man bats at him.

Or when Prentiss drops off holiday-themed pastries? Mhm, just thinking of the ribbon-tied box makes him salivate.

Hating the Christmas card is completely out of the question. Henry and Michael make them every year for the entire team, and JJ makes an effort to shake them out carefully for. It has a boyish charm Spencer never had at their age, a mess of glitter and construction paper. He displays it on his desk anyway.

And you. It would mean hating all the various hot chocolate beverages you’ve made since December started.

Apparently, it’s serious business⎼the art of hot chocolate making. You’ve leaned against his desk, hands waving about as you try to articulate to him the relevance, going over anything and everything you can remember of its history and significance. Of course, he knows all of this already, but he likes you too much to stop you. He almost releases a loving sigh. Instead, he settles for nodding and grinning at you, and he doesn’t really get it but he loves it: the hot chocolate, your pensive expression as you await his critique, even though by now he’s sure you know he has no other comments except ‘delicious’.

He loves it all. He loves you⎼all of you guys. Obviously.

So, no. He does not hate Christmas.

But that doesn’t mean he loves it either.

Which is why, when Morgan leans against his desk, he greets him as normal, a smile forming on his lips as he sets his book down. There is no danger here, except Morgan’s guns. And the heinous green and red envelope between his fingers⎼

Where the hell did he get that.

Spencer’s blood froze. His collection of trauma was nothing compared to this.

Now here he is, packing away his things so he can go home to his warm, cozy apartment and order takeout like he does every year. He's not one for change. No need to break tradition.

But Morgan is acting like a child. Wait, no, even children are better behaved than this. Children at least give up faster.

“I’m telling you, it’s a good idea.”

“As a certified genius, I can say with all honesty, it is not.”

“I promise you it’ll be fine,” Morgan reassures him, voice soothing. The letter, colorful and bright and an eye sore, mocks Spencer. He wishes his reflexes were faster, so he can snatch the abhorrent cluster of sparkles and poorly printed holiday cartoons. And shred it.

Maybe if he glares hard enough, it’ll burst into flames.

“Morgan, my class hated me. The whole school hated me,” Spencer shoves another book into his satchel. It's harder than he means to, and he sends a silent apology to Stephen King; he usually handles his books with care. But not right now. Now, he's tired and exasperated and he just wants to curl up on his couch with The Doctor. "I'm sure I won't be missed."

"But you’re the life of the party!"

Spencer looks up.

Morgan winces, "Yeah, even I wouldn't believe me.” Spencer snorts, continuing to stuff his belongings into his satchel. Morgan’s relentless however. “But you deserve to show them up. You’ve got degrees⎼plural⎼and you're a hotshot FBI agent.”

“Are you not aware of the tragedy that is my high school social experience?”

“Oh, I'm very aware, and thank you for being vulnerable with me. But it's because I care that I’m telling you.”

Morgan’s hand falls heavy on his shoulder, making Spencer pause. He meets his gaze, the man’s expression solemn.

“You deserve to rub it in their faces until the only thing they can smell is your success.”

Morgan grins when that draws out a laugh from him.

Spencer huffs, “Shouldn't we be the bigger person here by not going?”

The older man grimaces, retracting his hand as if the idea offends him. “Fuck that. Be a show off! They deserve to be knocked down a peg after what they did to you in high school.”

Spencer bites his lip. Yes, he’s accomplished, and yeah, as Morgan said, he’s a ‘hot shot FBI agent’. But the memories surge in like a broken dam, cruel laughter and harsh words crashing into him as if he’s twelve years old again. He’s an adult now, so he doesn’t topple over from the impact like before, but the pain is a phantom limb, old and familiar, and leaves a pit in his stomach.

He was a child prodigy then. How would going back as he is now be any different?

Morgan's heart clenches when an unspoken pain flits across Spencer’s face, glossing over his eyes. He can't imagine how deep the emotional scars go, but he knows Spencer needs some form of closure from his past. So when he found the invite, he knew they had to seize the chance. If he wants to continue to move forward, Spencer has to learn to let go. And right now, this is his first class ticket. It’s why he’s pushing this so hard.

This is for Spencer.

But the doctor shakes his head, a strained smile tugging his lips. “Morgan, I had no friends. Even if I go, what am I supposed to do once I arrive? It'd be awkward enough as is.”

“True,” The older man contemplates, a light bulb going off as he snaps his fingers. “You know what you should do? Ask (Your Name) to go with you.”

“(Your Name)?” Spencer jolts, fumbling to catch his phone. Despite being a man of science, his eyes dart around, like you’re a demon summoned at the mention of your name. “Wha-what? Why?”

“They could act as your buffer. And you did say you wanted to be closer with them. This is the perfect opportunity,” Morgan shrugs. Like his suggestion is common sense, logical. Maybe it is.

But this is you they’re talking about. You would never. You’re too cool for a silly high school reunion.

At least, that’s what he’s convinced himself as Spencer’s face pinches. He catches his lip with his teeth. “Morgan, I appreciate the… thought, but I could never ask (Your Name).”

“Ask me what?”

… Oh no. You are a demon.

Spencer whirls around in time to see the glass door shut behind you. You stand there in all your poise and beauty, the fluorescent lights softening your expression. You're bundled up in a matching coat and scarf, the knitted beanie snug on your crown and clashing with your outfit (Garcia told you it’s not your Christmas present, but you’ve worn it everyday since). There’s sprinkles of snow all over you.

You’re not a demon, Spencer decides, even as you brush a clump off your shoulder, nose scrunched in annoyance. More like a snow angel.

You tilt your head curiously when Spencer doesn’t answer immediately. There’s a knowing look on his face as Morgan, realizing the poor guy probably won’t respond any time soon, steps up.

“(Your Name), I thought you went home already.”

You cross the bullpen. “I was. Garcia walked me down and I got to the courtyard. Then I realized she had me so distracted that I left my phone charger,” You rummage around your desk and without looking up, you reiterate, “So ask me what?”

Spencer blinks. “What?”

“You had something to ask me, right?”

Right. That. He runs his fingers through his hair awkwardly. “Actually, I don’t⎼oof.”

Morgan jabs his side, “Yes, there is something Reid needs to ask you.” He sends him a meaningful look.

“Shoot.” You nod to them before rifling through your desk drawers. Nope, not there. You card through files and office supplies, oblivious to the conversation Spencer and Morgan have with their eyes, shooting looks and mouthing at each other.

You bend over your desk as Morgan gestures, Ask them!

Spencer shakes his head vigorously, No!

Do it, or I'll do it for you, he mouths.

Spencer squints at him. You wouldn't.

Morgan smirks and Spencer's heart drops to his stomach. Before he can run, shout for help, literally anything, the man slings a buff arm around his shoulders, forcing Spencer to slightly bend down to his level, hugging him to his side.

He's trapped. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Fuck.

“Reid is going to his high school reunion,” Morgan starts, biting back a grin when the nerd squirms against him. Both men boys watch, one excited and the other petrified as you disappear behind your desk.

“That’s nice.”

"Yeah. But all his classmates are older than him and married…“

“Uh-huh…” You scan the dark floors, half-listening as Spencer frowns at the unnecessary detail. He never told Morgan such a thing. He didn’t even know, so how would Morgan-?

“So, can you guys pretend to be a couple or something?”

Thud.

“What!?”

Luckily, neither of you notice the other’s surprise as Spencer chokes on air at the same time you let out a pained hiss.

Morgan lets him pull away, withholding a snicker. “You good, (Your Name)?”

“I’m okay!” Your head pops up from under your desk as you rub the top of your head. You blink owlishly. “I’m sorry, did you just ask me to pretend to be your partner?”

“Yes! But Reid’s partner,” Morgan emphasizes, slapping the doctor’s back hard enough he nudges forward.

You stand and Spencer straightens up, trying not to fidget as your gaze burns into his. You’ve known each other for quite some time now, and while Spencer likes to think he knows you pretty well, it bothers him when your expression becomes unreadable. He knows it shouldn't but it does. He’s a profiler, yet your thoughts are completely obscured by a mask. It only makes him more nervous than he already is.

His skin feels hot when your eyes trail over him, and he prays his scarf is enough to cover the flush spreading from his neck.

He's about to disintegrate when you finally answer.

"Okay."

His brow shoots up and his heart flips. You move away from your desk as he sputters, "Really? Are⎼are you sure? I don’t want to put you out of your way.”

“I wouldn’t have agreed otherwise. Why?” You step closer, and he can’t breathe, not without it hitting your face. You stare him down the bridge of your nose, eyes narrowed. “You doubting my skills, Dr. Reid?”

“What? No, of course not!”

You raise an eyebrow expectantly. “Then it’s settled? We’ll pretend to be a couple for your reunion thing?"

A beat of silence. Spencer realizes you're waiting for his confirmation. But panic rises like bile in his throat and he hesitates.

Maybe he should back out now, retract the entire conversation and take the embarrassment like a man. Tell you he was never planning to attend the stupid reunion because his classmates were (and probably still are) assholes. Honesty is key to any relationship after all.

Especially between coworkers. Ahem.

A flicker of movement and Spencer glances over your shoulder. Morgan nods frantically at him, teeth flashing as he grins wider than before. He gives him two thumbs up.

Maybe, for once, he should pull a Morgan and just vibe it.

Yeah. Yeah!

Swallowing, he nods to you, giving you his signature white-person smile because he's sure if he speaks he might blurt out something completely inappropriate. Like statistics on workplace relationships (they’re great reading material, okay).

Your lips quirk up. "Cool. Text me the details when you get the chance.”

You brush past him before he manages a reply, your footsteps fading. Morgan waggles his eyebrows at Spencer. Spencer blankly stares after you.

“What just happened?”

“You just got a date to your reunion. A fake date, mind you, but you’re welcome nonetheless,” Morgan smirks at him. “So, you got a plan, Pretty Boy?”

His face falls, and the hearts in his eyes⎼shit, had they always been there?⎼chip slightly.

He does not have a plan.

Deleted scene:

“Did you do it?”

“It went all according to plan, Mama.”

AN: I fucked myself over and wrote 7k+ and still counting. Now it’s an unplanned holiday mini series. This kind of stems from Bonding as this uses Mysterious!Reader. Also, I seem to be into pining (fuck established relationships, suffer in silenceee). Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope you still enjoy this one shot!! 

One of the biggest disappointments of CM: Spencer doesn’t confront his high school bullies. I read several fics of him doing so, but a lot of them have the bullies be just as much of an asshole as they were to him in the past, but he deserves more closure. 

This will be my take on it. It’ll be a lot of pining but I hope to focus on the his hardships in a less angsty, dramatic way.

Hope you enjoy it!! There will be at least 3 parts?

Also, spread the usage of the term ‘partner’, which can be used for same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.