#no harm to any non-annoying ones ig

[pocketslook]

hi I just got beaten in an art contest by an object show fan who drew a bowtie waving I'm so crushed never doing art again because what the fuj

[kaceyunderfell]

Fuck it, Pinned post time

(Alt of @eclipse-kitsune)

Hello anyone who sees this, I am Kacey, also known as Eclipse or Timber

Note to mutuals: Do not trust that "online indicator", I keep my Chromebook open and Tumblr tabs open so it may say I'm "online" when I'm not

- Passage Scugs project main post here -

Self-appointed ruler of LagSpike

Best ship(s) in my personal opinion: LagSpike, Error 404, KarmaFlower, FishStick

They/them with a sprinkle of any pronouns :D

I am an artist, yes. Though right now I am stuck on this Chromebook with limited options on where to draw. I enjoy traditional art-ing, though am currently not able to show any of that due to not having a functioning phone at the moment. <- (will update when I find my phone or get a new one)

Current interest(s): Rain World, CoTL, Cats are Liquid, and more!

If you think I'm gonna add an online status indicator, you are INCORRECT!! HAHA INCONSISTENCY GO BRRR!! I COULD NEVER KEEP THAT UP!!!

Tag stuff ig:

#Kaceyposts - Me posting something, seems obvious don't you think?

#Kaceypinnedpost - The pinned post of my blog :D

#Kaceyreblogs - I rebloged something, doesn't that seem obvious?

#Kaceyanswers - I answered an ask :0

#Kaceypolls - Polls that I set up

#Kaceyunderfell's art - my "#My art" tag replacement

#rw passage scugs project - Rain World fans create slugcats based on the 14 passages in Rain World: Downpour

Ocs, because I wanna list them (this is not all of them) + a short description:

The Mimic - Voidborn creature able to shift forms, appears similar to an echo (mainly with colors), very silly personality, very pure-hearted, goes by It/its pronouns, curious about the world around it, able to eat non-edible objects without much harm, void fluid blood

The Copycat - Small slugcat, cyan in color with a lil music note on their forehead, iterator creation (but not a messenger), kills creatures and uses their bodies for their own benefit, goes by They/them pronouns, not very pure at all, very violent, gremlin vibes

The Midnight - Tall slugcat, long prehensile tail that has a spiral on the tip, this spiral emits electricity passively, annoyed easily, believed that she was perfect, goes by She/her/he pronouns (transfem), violent at first, enemies with Copycat

The Evader - Tall slugcat, long prehensile tail, Gourmand's crafting ability, Artificer's explosive abilities, lives primarily in OE (Outer Expanse), knows little about iterators but wants to learn more, goes by He/they pronouns, smart, knows a lot about the ecosystem

Ever-Moving Shadows (EMS) - Stranded iterator build (probably gen 3 or 4), Darker color palate, white eyes, wears a sweater, antennae are like Pebbles' but move back at the top (imagine like.. a music note?), goes by He/him pronouns, annoyed easily, thinks he's perfect and therefore everything he makes is perfect as well

Puppets Enter Nature (PEN) - Mobile iterator, leaf emblem on head, brown-ish color palate, white eyes, mint scarf around neck, white cloak, slugcat-like "tail" which is grey, goes by He/they pronouns, silly personality, adopted slugpup: Saint, besties with LoL, NSH and SRS

Lack/Loss of Leadership (LoL) - Mobile iterator, crown emblem on head, white eyes, golden(?) color palate, fluffy cloak (like my headcanon SRS has), slugcat-like "tail" but has a charger built into it, goes by They/them pronouns, silly personality, besties with PEN

Keys of Enlightenment - Collapsed iterator, gold and black color palate, black eyes, created the scugzards, goes by She/her pronouns, obsessed with lizards

The Hybrid - Strawberry scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, made last in the chronological timeline due to strawberries only appearing in Saint's campaign, goes by She/any pronouns, friendly personality, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

The Alpha - Red scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, made second in the chronological timeline, goes by They/any pronouns, the "alpha" of the group of scugzards, more lizard than slugcat (genetically), quite smart, second longest scugzard, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

The Zippy - Cyan scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, middle sibling, energetic, very social, goes by Any/all pronouns, silly, traumatized easily, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

Seven Oceans of Acid (SOoA) - 4th gen iterator, not much personality (but I do remember I made him sadistic), I cant remember what design I gave him lol, goes by He/him pronouns

The Famine - Walking famine slugcat, created by SOoA, anything that can decay will decay when near him, same with things that can rust, spears are practically useless to him, predictors like lizards stay away from him, goes by He/him pronouns, very depressed

The Withered - Slugcat with the ability to change states of matter at will, created by SOoA, very loyal, goes by They/them pronouns, sadistic at times, doesn't give up easily

Kacey - Wolf monster from Undertale, twins with Kiara (Kiara belongs to KiaraUnderfell), silly personality, goes by She/her pronouns, basically me, one of my many sonas

Eclipse - Kitsune, title of "bleach queen" <- (made it up on scratch lol), goes by She/her pronouns, basically me, one of my many sonas

Zillah - Cat(?), from Nsp's cool world thing that I cant remember the name of right now, abilities inspired by some elements of Feral Pride, goes by Any/all pronouns

The Static - Slugpup(?), black color palate, white eyes, static-y sound emits passively around it, goes by It/its pronouns, doesn't speak much, creatures around it always feel a sense of dread (which does not go away), slugpup(?) of Distortion

The Distortion - Code dweller (same as my headcanon Nightcat), able to speak without moving its mouth, distorted speech, goes by It/its pronouns, able to sense fear, parental figure of Static

The Fuze - Slugcat/Centipede hybrid, created by an unnamed iterator, immune to centipede shocks, Carnivore-based diet, goes by He/they pronouns, smart, has a tamed centipede named "Zappy", can be silly at times

Onyx - Four armed slugcat, brown color palate, four eyes, no personality given, goes by He/they pronouns

The Raptor - Vulture/slugcat hybrid, values their kin (other slugcat hybrids), won't attack without reason, goes by He/they pronouns, created by an iterator with the acronym "FEATHER"

[metaforth]

I can speak for myself. As an autistic person I am more than capable of deciding on my own what offends me in terms of representation. I do not need allistics to come to my defense on matters I don't even care about.

It infuriates me to no end everytime I see the thousandth video by an allistic person insisting a specific character is autism coded and talking about how they're a harmful stereotype when I myself don't even see what makes that character seem autistic. Perhaps the one with stereotypical views on aspies isn't any of the people working on that show methinks.

Like honestly, I don't really have any problems with Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. Honestly I sorta like him. For one that show runners have denied time and time again that he's meant to be autistic to the point of making it canon in the show that he was tested for it and isn't but, if we're looking at him that way...

He's a PhD holding scientist with a high paying job. He's got a circle of friends who while they may at times find him irritating ultimately are willing to give him the space he needs and understand his differences from their behavior wise and that sometimes they need to be a little more careful with him, friends who share and are willing to indulge him on his special interests. By the end of the show he has a wife that loves and respects him not in spite of his behaviors, but in large part because of how they're part of who he is. This is bad? Fuck this is aspirational. I'd love this. But the show makes some jokes at his expense so the creators are ableist I guess.

Now I haven't seen every single episode of Big Bang so maybe they go all autism speaks at some point, who knows, but my point is maybe let us talk about this? The people who actually are autistic and would love a platform to be seen talking about it.

The one that pisses me off the most is when people assert that Arthur from the Joker movie is autistic (what?) and the movie depicts that as the primary reason he's violent. For one I never got that sense from the movie, I got the sense that a multitude of things in his life lead to his decline and to his eventual turn to violence and public outbursts aside from just his mental conditions, societal pressures, constant abuse from everyone in his life and complete strangers alike, a lifetime of being lied to by his mother, ect. But ig you need some way to feel morally superior to people with media literacy so have your tangents about how the movie is ableist I guess.

And it was mostly nuerotypicals making that point, which is even more annoying to me. Videos like that got so fucking big and most of the time were made by people who honestly, I don't even think saw the movie, and were white knighting on behalf of a group of people who at least in my circles, fucking love Joker.

Let autistic people speak for themselves. By speaking over us when we don't have a platform to be heard and insisting you know what we're thinking when we're capable of doing communicating that ourselves you are no different than the con artists at Autism Speaks or the ableists who think we're all non verbal and incapable of interacting with other human beings. You are doing just as much harm as any of them, if not even more because you're tricking people into believing you actually care what we think.

I'm certain plenty of autistic and neurodivergent disagree with my opinions on Joker and Big Bang Theory and thats great. But I want to hear THEIR takes on why, not yours.

That's why the rallying cry for us will always be important, because we have the constant experience of being denied a platform to speak about our own issues, even by our alleged allies. So it is now and forever shall be, Nothing about us, without us.

[mka1098]

In The Moonlight (You Are My Sun) Day 3

In The Bright Moonlight (You're My Sun)

Hear this story being read aloud to you at https://www.youtube.com/c/MKa1098/videos

Day Three - Tease

“Ladybug! Ladybug! Over here.” Nadia calls. Ladybug flickers her eyes to Chat Noir; they are both panting and tired from the fight. Unlike the past couple, the fight was in broad daylight and she can’t quite tell if it’s more annoying to rush off during the school day or sneak out at night. “Ladybug!” Nadia calls again and she breathes in and walks over with a camera-ready smile. “Ladybug! Tell us about the fight.” Nadia requests.

She smiles kindly at the camera where hundreds upon hundreds of people are watching her eagerly. “Well, it was rather standard.” She explains. Actually, it wasn’t. This akuma was tiring to chase down and seemed to have no worry for the general public. It didn’t seem to have a main goal -- she was just angry at society and it’s entire construct with no real goal in mind -- luckily, she and Chat were able to herd it onto a large football field. It was an anxiety-inducing fight though; anytime those violent-happy akuma’s were created, her heart rates sped up 10 fold. “Our emotions are just so vulnerable: it’s so important to not blame the victims for what happens.” She looks at the camera and hopes that people will empathize. Many of them have also been in her place, so they should understand. Nonetheless, there’s no harm in reiterating it.

“Yes, Hawkmoth will take any chance he can get.” Nadia says thoughtfully. “As easy as a bad hair day can create a wild-hair manic!’ She laughs.

Ladybug nervously laughs along, keeping face. “Yes, it could escalate but it doesn’t have to.” She preaches. “Emotions and therefore negative emotions will always happen. Let’s all stay together and help our friends who are struggling. If your friend or parents or even just classmates are having a bad day: try to help make them feel better! Make them smile; it can really go a long way. Not only are you turning their bad day around, you might also be saving the day while you’re at it.” She laughs and winks at the camera.

“Isn’t she right.” A voice calls beside her. She turns to see Chat with a mischievous and impish grin on his face. “Leave it to Ladybug to save the day even after the fight.” He says proudly.

Ladybug rolls her eyes but smiles at him playfully. “I wouldn’t call it so much as saving the day as it’s preventing further collateral damage.” She laughs.

“Savior.” Chat teases in a sing-song voice. He leans towards her, making a funny expression; she pushes him away with a roll of her eyes. He cackles along with her, even as his face is shumused.

“Hush, Chat.” She says with a smirk.

“Never.” He winks at her.

Nadia clears her throat and Ladybug turns back to her. They are..they are still on live TV. whoops. She totally forgot about the cameras and the news anchor. Her face gets red as her mask and the urge to turn around and zip off is prominent. Unfortunately, fleeing immediately is not an option she has. Everyone that’s watching her for the feeling of safety or admiration would be shell-shocked and possibly angered if she just bolted the way she often did in her civilian life. “So, is there anything else the common person can do to help our city be the safest and best it can be?” Nadia asks.

Ladybug nods. “Aside from looking out for the people we are around and love, you can open yourself up to people you’ve never talked to before -- becuasven just a small conversation can make someone feel like they have someone who cares about them and willinging wants to get to know them -- it’s important to stay calm in times of disagreement. Arguments are bound to happen: they are a fact of life. We can’t control that. What we can do in those situations is take a deep breath and think about how it might feel from the person or people’s point of view. We’re not always right and we need to know that! Breathe and speak calmly until it is resolved; even that can easily eliminate an akuma’s chance of taking over.”

Nadia nods and faces the camera head again. “Thank you, Ladybug. There are many ways to help and be a superhero!” She smiles.

“Yep!” Chat said, leaning onto his staff. “It’s a collaborative effort. Sure, Ladybug’s the face of it all-” He nudges her slightly, making her stumble. Ladybug glares at him and Chat just cheekily smiles back. “-but it’d be nothing with the help of everyone else.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m the face-”

“I would!” He cuts into her sentence.

She snorts. “Of course you would.” She gives him a raised eyebrow. Chat grins back at her in response.

“What? Think I should be the one in front?” He stretches the staff across his shoulders and flashes a grin at the cameras. “Just call me, anywhere, anytime. I’ll put my modeling face on.” He winks to the viewers at home, some of which may have fainted at the act as if he was a notable cleberite. Technically, Chat Noir is one but she’s seen too many of his childish antics to really believe that. It is shocking how smooth he is at charming the cameras and posing for a non-existent photoshoot. She can admit (only to herself in her head though; he has enough of an ego that she doesn’t need to feed) Chat has debonair.

“Yeah, yeah, chin up Chat.” Ladybug teases him, knocking him off balance. “Your 5 o'clock photoshoot is here.” She jokes.

Chat sticks his tongue out at her. “Jokes on you, five is a terrible time for pictures. The lighting will be off!”

“And how did you ever learnthat?” She snorts. Chat Noir gasps dramatically and puts a hand on his chest in mock offense.

“Excuse me, I am much more than a pretty face; although I’m not faulting you for looking there.” He smirks back at her, flickering his eyes to the camera. “I’ve got some obscure knowledge -- test me, I can pass.” He leans at her with a cocky eyebrow raise.

“Mm, you’re really putting on a show.” She says, cocking her head to the side.

“Me? Putting on a show? An act?” He says indeclously. “Never.” He nearly whispers, smiling and showing off his fangs. They gleam in the sunlight.

Suddenly, Chat Noir, all clad in his leather suit, light-reflecting fangs and staff looks a bit like a real bad boy; Ladybug hates it so much because one, it’s not him at all (though it’s entertaining enough and she will allow him some fun) and two, she doesn’t...totally hate the image in the way a teenage girl wouldn't totally hate a new cute guy at school.

“So you say.” Ladybug says, turning away quickly before she starts blushing.

Nadia seems overjoyed by the entire affair and shoves the microphone between them, at a speed which is surprising to her. “You two are very close, correct?’ She asks with a grin. Ladybug looks at her curious and nods. “Would you say…” Oh. Oh, now she knows what’s coming next and honestly, she doesn't like it. “...you’re in a relationship or will be?’ Nadia asks. Her expression looks innocent enough but Ladybug knows better.

“Oh, no.” Ladybug says, covering the awkwardness with laughter. “Not ever.” She confirms. She looks at Chat who only nods softly in agreement. He’s probably uncomfortable with the talk of relationships; it’s only been a few weeks since his break-up with his girlfriend (or boyfriend or theyfriend...she doesn’t judge.) “We’re partners in fighting crime; it’s important for us to work well together and be friends but that doesn’t equate to romantic interest.” She explains.

Nadia nods thoughtfully as if she hasn’t considered the platonically friends angle just yet. “Totally, we can all tell you’re in perfect sync.” She says with a smile. “Although, I’m sure you’re conformabelt enough that a relationship wouldn’t be weird: you already playfully tease and flirt with each other -- it looks pretty natural.” Ladybug smiles a little forcefully. God, not every pair of male and female needs to be together immediately or ever!

“Yes, well we spend a lot of time putting our lives in each other’s hands; we’ve learned to joke around. But-” She says firmly with a slight frown. “-we are just friends and it is still a work relationship to us.” She says. Nadia nods with a smile and turns back to the camera.

“Well, that’s Ladybug and Chat Noir: our heroes!” She says, babbling away as an anchor.

Ladybug sighs and prepares to leave and head home: maybe she’d take a soak to wind down and soothe her aching muscles. Maybe read a book before getting to the grueling homework? Before she can go, she feels a hand on her shoulder and looks back to see Chat smiling at her teasingly.

“So...co-workers?” He says, stifling his laughter.

“Shut up.”

“Come on! You said it? I’m just repeating it to you.”

“Yeah, yeah, go home.”

“You’ll miss me right?”

“...I’m gonna leave.”

“Hey!”Huge thank you to @shaniartist for allow me usage of their art and to @ladynoirjuly for the prompts !

Art credits: Shaniartist on Tumblr, shani_artist on IG

https://youtube.com/channel/UCqDgJF4q5oUKYvAt4qxCViADay

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

[the-grays-of-ink]

do you have any opinions on outdated media stuff?? i mean like shows about certain topics that have since been learned more about and changed socially?? i think it’s a really interesting topic about whether or not the content should be viewed for entertainment still, i think they should be sometimes, but it’s a case by case basis. if what i’m saying doesn’t make sense i mean like shows about the lgbtqia+(??) from the early 2000’s or earlier (i don’t really have an actual show) and how the information and social context has changed since then, whether or not the material is still watchable, entirely depending on the content itself

it’s a topic i think is super fun!! i really like looking at media (tv mostly) and how it changes and affects life and people, not just the example above!! there’s so much!! this ones just on my mind because of a show i’m watching right now :]] i have so many little interests that aren’t fandom stuff that i don’t talk about enough because they aren’t fully fledged hyperfixations so every once in a while if it’s not annoying i might pop in a ramble to you and anyone else who sees this about random things i’m interested in that aren’t fandom specific because ahhh they are so much fun :]] if you have any opinions on the stuff itd be cool to hear

It’s a really interesting subject to me, specifically because no right answer can apply in every situation. I love hearing other people’s opinions on this exact matter! I have two examples that I’ll use to explain my opinion.

First up is :

Harry Potter

Ew.

Highly debated. Idk it’s so hard. I loved it so much as a kid bc of nostalgia and doing things with my sister and my mom related to it. Rowling is just such a disgusting person, I absolutely cannot return to the series with anything but disappointment and sadness and hate. The story of Harry Potter wasn’t what made is special, at least for me and everyone I knew. It was the experience of talking with friends, of playing on the playground. I cherish those memories fondly, but I just cannot endorse her anymore. Reading the story from a library and being knowledgeable about the origins of the story and the author, I believe, would be an acceptable way to read Harry Potter. Unfortunately the story full of bs, and honestly at this point I wouldn’t say it’s worth it. That’s a pretty well known and generic take on the traditionally badly done outdated media

There is a movie, I cannot remember it’s name, (or the date it came out) written by two gay men about gay people and the army. I don’t remember the storyline, but I do remember that it was one of the most progressive movies of its time (being written by two gay men probably helps).

However, it was full of inaccurate stereotypes, and is viewed now as being pretty homophobic. A person watching that movie, acknowledging it’s flaws, and paying homage to the two writers who made it what it was, in my mind, is totally okay and good, seeing how innovative this old movie was in such largely non accepting times for the lgbtq+ community.

I guess that’s kinda my take on it. Sorry if it was too long :/ Consuming bad/harmful old media to see growth, or to experience it while being educated is okay, but it is a slippery slope to accidentally endorse bad creators.

I totally agree with you!! It’s so interesting to see everyone’s takes on the matter. I feel like people can get really hostile really quickly on small misunderstanding on this subject, so thanks for being so cool about it ig!

Please pop in and ramble to me!! All the time!! Please!! It doesn’t even matter what it’s about! I will always listen!

Thanks for the ask friend!!

[yibuo]

love your hot takes! was wondering if you could give your two cents on shipping/rpf in relation to idol culture, how more often than not these pairings are subtly if not overtly used as a marketing tool etc. I’m all for freedom of expression / fandom consumption as long as the fourth wall is respected but given recent developments in c-ent I feel like we’re treading on thinner and thinner ice....

EDIT you asked for my two cents and i gave u my entire bank account. nice

ok i wasn’t sure how to answer this tbh without possibly getting attacked but i have a pretty strong opinion of rpf/shipping and how people take it to the extremes and i talked to oomf who validated me so here i go

tldr i mean people can take part in shipping/rpf if they want to and if they keep it lowkey but there’s a boundary as to how far shipping/rpf can go and there are too many instances of where people insert rpf/shipping in places that are unacceptable and this goes for all real ppl pairings 

i’m not meaning to offend anyone, and in no way are my opinions discriminatory, but also, if you’re someone who’s gonna make HUGE stretches regarding to celebrities and push your favorite ships in totally unrelated things, maybe you should step back and think about how your actions can affect your favorite people

and i’m totally stealing this from oomf, but here’s a thought:  if you ask yourself  'if i met this person irl, would i feel embarassed if they looked me in the eyes and i read this out loud to them' and if the answer is 'i would look like a pervert stalker' then like........maybe don't do what you’re doing?  

pls respect ur faves is all n don’t make them uncomfortable ! ! and also pls don’t fetishize same sex relationships !

anyway

ok so let me start by saying i’m a seventeen stan and when i was 15-16 y/o i shipped svt members, read rpf, etc, but never really was into overanalyzing every touch or gaze. i obviously enjoyed my favorite pairings interact and i read romantic fics about them. i wasn’t really into reading smut because for me, personally, fics using the members’ names and personalities even in au kinda made smut feel like visualizing the members in a sexual context and i felt like i was crossing a fan boundary, like, would my idol be comfortable with me seeing them in a sexual context with another member they tell us they consider as friends/brothers/sisters? or just in general, would they be comfortable with me thinking of them sexually? but hey, if it was a good fic i would just skip over the smut because good fics are good fics. now idk if it’s because i’m older, or other changes? i don’t really do romantic shipping or read rpf, i stick to reading fics about fictional characters because that’s what makes me comfortable (like if i ever rb two members’ interactions on my main, i stick to just tagging the members instead of their ship name, same goes on here for real people) and i still very much am uncomfortable w/ real people smut literature and art, but that’s just me

ok you see shipping a lot in idol culture because idols are in groups and members spend a good 90% of their time together, so whatever cute interactions you see  kinda lead to people shipping two (or more ig) members. i never really thought about idol shipping culture from a marketing perspective, so i asked some of my friends, and one of them made a really good point about how some ships are more popular than others, and these interactions on shows and stuff might be a strategic/marketing tactic to lure in new fans because of the “ships” being cute. i don’t know how true this actually is, but it kinda made sense. for example, in svt, mingyu x wonwoo is a super popular ship, compared to ships like the8 x vernon which no one ever talks about, even though we know that all the members love each other equally and wholeheartedly. so yeah, there probably is a subtle pushing of certain ships in order to gain momentum in attracting more fans to the group

also i’m gonna be using wonwoo and mingyu as examples but i’m not targetting anyone or anything, just hypothetical situations w/ an idol ship that i noticed to affect the members because how out-of-control SOME stans are

so as i said in my tldr, i don’t really mind romantic shipping, as long as it’s 1) lowkey 2) not pushed in places that it doesn’t belong and 3) not mentioned among the members

keeping it lowkey- pushing ships in everyone’s faces gets annoying. sometimes fans just want to enjoy idols’ content as they give it to us and frankly, it’s a little offputting when you’re trying to watch something or enjoy something and hoards of fans are fangirling over a gaze or a touch between 2 members. keep it on your private acct, or in a group chat, not in the youtube comment section of the video. but still, men and women are allowed to touch each other and show affection without it being romantic, and i feel like shipping culture kinda invalidates the platonic relationship. like unless a pairing is confirmed to be dating, why even bother with overanalyzing these gazes or touches. and no, it’s not homophobic for non-rpf fans to be annoyed, because sometimes fans just want to see the members as they portray themselves to be rather than finding a deeper (and unconfirmed) meaning behind every small thing. fans being like “bro it’s just the touch of two hands it’s not that deep” is not the same thing as fans going “ewww i’m’ not supporting them if they’re not straight” . and sometimes i feel like people try to twist non-rpfers words and call them homophobic if they’re not for shipping when sometimes people don’t wanna romantically visualize 2 people if they’re an unconfirmed couple. how can you use lgbt struggles, which is an issue in society, to fight against people who simply don’t do rpf?? how are you use that as a weapon and for what ??? (also a good amount of people who do this are lgbt fetishizers who aren’t lgbt themselves bye i said it) why can’t we all jus be friends dudes

ok but if you’re against your idols dating someone of the same gender, that’s homophobic and you needa get that checked

but that’s different from treating two members as friends rather than bfs

but this being lowkey concept applies to any pairing, straight or gay, just keep it lowkey dudes. (like for ex we see yibo and meng meiqi shippers, which also doesn’t make sense to me because it’s based off of literal crumbs but ok) it’s ok to be rpfer or non-rpfer as long as you’re respecting the idols and keeping their best interests in mind

respect ur faves pls

not pushed in places that it doesn’t belong- people need to stop bringing up ships and pairings in randomass places. for example, if wonwoo is doing a interview, with mingyu being nowhere in sight, and he’s talking about his hobbies and interests without ever mentioning mingyu, what’s the need to bring up mingyu?? people do it and it’s so... weird? like wonwoo can do things without being constantly associated mingyu? one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when shippers make these ships such a HUGE part of a members’ identitiy, when the members are doing so much w/ their lives? like no, not every move wonwoo makes, and every breath he takes is related to mingyu, but people still wanna have the audacity to mention mingyu in something completely unrelated? what’s your point?

RESPECT UR FAVES

not mentioned among the members in an uncomfy manner- like if you’re interacting with a real person, why are you gonna bring up a ship they’re included in when you have so many other things to talk about?? like ok it’s one thing to ask someone on a livestream “hey this event you guys did on xxxx show was funny, what’s the tea behind that” but it’s not okay to just mention a ship with no relation and no context to the situation. again, this counts as rpf-ers and shippers attributing a single ship to an idol’s identity much more than what it actually counts as. no, wonwoo is not 70% made of mingyu lover and vice versa. we actually saw this between mingyu and wonwoo as people kept pushing meanie (the ship) to their faces, and we saw (and  still see) a much more decreased amount of interaction between them compared to them predebut, because shippers couldn’t stay in their lane. so yes, out-of-control shipping DOES affect idols and can be harmful to their relationships if you don’t control it

^ so y’all see why i feel so strongly about this, because it literally can affect these idols’ relationships on screen

JUST RESPECT UR FAVES

again, this applies for any pairing of any sexuality, i’m just using wonwoo x mingyu as an example because it’s something i saw when i was into rpf. i love both mingyu and wonwoo and they are wholesome together. i have friends who ship them and i’m completely ok with that because they do it without posing any harm to the members, but some people just need to take a chill pill and a seat and calm down ????

so i completely understand that shipping/rpf serves as a creative outlet for lgbt+ folks and that’s completely fine, inspiration, love, cool cool cool. just don’t be so pushy about small interactions especially directly to idols. and as for rpf-ers, don’t let rpf give you a reason to start fetishizing same-sex relationships, that shits weird and problematic...pls

again, if you ask yourself  'if i met this person irl, would i feel embarassed if they looked me in the eyes and i read this out loud to them' and if the answer is 'i would look like a pervert stalker' then like........maybe don't do what you’re doing?  

lol so this is why i’m much more comfortable w/ fictional shipping, because these people don’t exist in the real world and don’t have actual lives and relationships to protect 

just respect ur faves omg and we’ll be fine

“given recent developments in c-ent” and me being a yibo stan and you sending me this strongly leads me to believe you’re referring to out of control bjyx cpf (yizhan shippers)  LOL

i don’t follow much c-ent besides xnine, uniq, r1se, and sometimes unine and the nine percent members, and honestly im not too into the fan culture so i dont follow ships there? so i’ll focus on. this ship

to be completely honest, shipping for idol groups makes some sense to me because idol group members are with each other most of the time, that’s literally their job

shipping actors who haven’t confirmed that they’re dating/no proof doesn’t really make sense to me at all--they work on one project together, and they’re off to their next., with or without each other . we don’t know if they keep in contact every day, much less if they’re into each other, but each to their own! my opinions and takes aren’t perfect and as long as you’re respecting your faves, it is ok~

ok so i’ll start of with saying: obviously, i love yibo. i love xiao zhan. they’re cute nd wholesome and evidently had good times together and learned a lot from each other regarding acting and being in the industry and just developing as people together. good for them, we love character development. amazing

is pushing bjyx a marketing tactic? most definitely yeah by tencent thanks tencent. i think you can see this through the amount of bts videos there are with just bjyx in comparison to other bts videos/interviews, even though there are many more important characters apart from wwx and lwj in cql, we don’t see as much side cast interactions as bjyx, and if we do, there aren’t that many w/ other cast members and yibo and xiao zhan?? relatively speaking

so yeah i think pushing this yibo x xiao zhan thing definitely was a tactic to further the momentum that wangxian was already having to attract stans, and it worked. like i LOVE watching yibo and xiao zhan bts videos because they are two goofs. love them. love my boys. love their camaraderie. and if people wanna ship, then go ship. cool! just be casual pls

i think where this becomes a problem is when people start projecting wangxian’s relationship onto yibo and xiao zhan because...the latter are real people. yibo and xiao zhan =/= wangxian !!!!!! (ok first of all yibo is a gremlin how can he be the wang in wangxian in real life)  what wyb and xz show us in videos is nowhere near what wangxian is hJKNDJNWD and i see so many people just equate the two pairings...nooo... and combining everything mxtx writes about wangxian in the novel and projecting that onto wyb and xz...i don’t think that’s the move dudes they have their own lives they’re not wangxian

my BIGGEST pet peeve is when people wholly credit wyb’s development as an actor and as a person to xz and vice versa. i cannot tell you how many times i see posts saying “wyb brought xz out of his shell” and vice versa and things like “xz looks like he’s having much more fun than he is when he’s with xnine, they’re soulmates” and etc

both wyb and xz have had years of industry experience before getting to know each other. they’ve gone through some of the lowest points of their careers before even getting to know each other well, and they’ve both found Their People in the industry before finding each other. to say that wyb brought xz out of his shell in a summer’s worth of filming based on some bts videos is just so unfair to the bonds xz has made with his other colleagues and xnine  members and the accomplishments he’s had before cql. same with wyb and his career prior to cql. and his uniq members, his ttxs bros, and all his other colleagues. these 2 have gone through some shit with their idol groups and it’s just not fair for cpfs to erase the significance of their career prior to cql to support and find a leverage for their shipping. i’m not saying all cpfs do this, but there is  a Good Amount That Do and it pisses fans like me off

they are not each others saviours bye

also  “xz looks like he’s having much more fun than he is when he’s with xnine, they’re soulmates”, if you guys ever watch xnine videos, you’ll know that xnine is Loud. with members like wu jiacheng and peng chuyue being so loud and extroverted, it kinda makes xiao zhan relatively quieter. but he’s still a gremlin and troublemaker and it’s not like he isn’t having fun. he’s just louder w/ yibo because yibo is more introverted than xz. relationship dynamics are relative to the relationship cmon people !!!! this is basic knowledge !!!! anyway that was a side tangent but ya

but ya my point is, wyb and xz have their own careers and they’re doing their own things now, and it’s unnecessary to bring up xz in an unrelated wyb post/article and vice versa, and it’s just so so unnecessary to link them in everything??? like i heard that cpfs prevented xz from keeping his nomination for an award because yibo wasn’t nominated so xz lost the nomination ./rolls eyes

anyway my point being, if you wanna ship them then go ahead! just do it normally and don’t bring up the ship in unrelated places (like other dramas, tv shows, etc where they’re not together), don’t spam them with bjyx related things, don’t make weird stretches/connections?? the other day on twt i saw a twt about uniq wenhan’s drama, where he was being referred to as xiao zhan (little zhan) in the drama (different  “xiao” and “zhan” characters than actor xz’s name) and i saw cpfs go “omg theYRE CALLING HIM XIAO ZHAN??? IS THIS FATE OR” like no it isnt maam it’s just a name stop reaching

ANYWAY UNNECESSARY SIDE RANTS BUT MY MAIN POINT is that people are allowed to be shippers and take part in rpf, but don’t make their identities “____’s lover”, don’t look past their current and past achievements for the sake of your ship, don’t erase their relationships with other people for the sake of your ship, stop bringing your ship into things that are only related to one person/aren’t related to your ship, stop saying creepy things about your ship (if you think the ship people would be uncomfrotable with what you say about them you probably shouldn’t be saying it)

just. respect ur faves pls no matter who they’re with ...just respect them ty

stan yibo stan xiao zhan stan uniq stan xnine

comment ur fav yibo and xiao zhan moment below

like comment subscibe

ok bye mic drop 

[darrowsrising]

Pax au Augustus for the character breakdown!

My favourite kiddo!

Pax au Augustus:

How I feel about him:

I love and adore him. I think he a journey a bit similar to Darrow - innocent at first, but sonething happened and the anger management issues appeared. I am kidding...mostly. I love that he is the perfect mix of hisbparents while still being his own person. I love how clever and cunning he is. I love that he takes after both his parents equally. He is such a great kid.

Romantic relationships:

He is a kid. Can't really see him with anyone yet, to be honest.

Non-romantic relationships:

I liked his relationship with Eph and Electra. I would like to see more interactions with him and his parents. I also like the fact that Valdir would rather die tjan let any harm come to Pax. PAX AND SOPHOCLES ARE THE BEST. In general, I like his relationships with the royal fam. I don't like how Lyria thinks of him, it kinda annoys me.

Unpopular opinion:

I think Pax is the key to peace, a Lighbringer so to speak. Just like Darrow is Morning Star.

One thing I wish happened:

I wish he was more established as a character in IG, but I love him nonetheless.

Howl on!

[tonyglowheart]

I guess there’s Discourse again re: mxtx and mdzs (on twitter, but I feel like it’s a perennial thing tbh), and I saw a twit thread recently that brought up what I think is a good point and kind of what I felt with a “I don’t know enough about CN’s situation re: LGBT stuff to comment, but I feel like there’s mitigating factors,” but someone brought up how it’s different bc China has a lot more restrictions on what kind of information/content is “allowed” and people in China might not have as much access to the kind of LGBT media or LGBT information/educational stuff we do in the U.S./the “West,” and so it’s harder to educate yourself re: what LGBT relationships are/can be. Like I think here now, we’re in a period where a more progressive idea of LGBT relations is more normalized now, we’re no longer in a “so who’s the woman/man in the relationship” phase (I’m speaking in terms of ig.. more urban mainstream; ofc it’s going to be different in more rural areas...) but like. there are still places in the US where people’s ideas of LGBT relationships are “so who’s the man/woman”

and also the other thing that I think annoys me about some of the MDZS/MXTX criticism I’ve seen is the wide strokes people paint about MXTX based on MDZS. Some of the criticism centers around “bc of what I read in MDZS, this clearly means MXTX is a filthy fujo who is fetishizing m/m relationships.” Except I’d argue that that’s hardly what MXTX writes in MDZS, and beyond that, having read SV and TGCF, it’s clearly not who MXTX is. I mean I guess it’s unfair to argue “if you read her other stuff” if someone is disinclined to look at more of her stuff based on one thing - I get that, I probably would feel distrustful and not interested either - but I still think it’s unfair to decry MXTX the way I see people do based on what I think are somewhat shallow or non-holistic takes on MDZS. 

The flip side of MDZS is like... yeah I think it’s fair to say you’re not into the specific kinks presented in MDZS, and to have criticism on that! But sometimes I think the criticism I see isn’t contextualized properly, like I don’t think MXTX is necessarily ONLY or even PRIMARILY perpetuating “harmful” yaoi tropes in MDZS. All of that said, I do get it though, I had the same kind of reaction when I first read the novel! It made me highly uncomfy and very squicky. I’m interested to go back through the novel hopefully with a different TL and see how my views on it are. (tbh that being said: I think one thing people don’t consider is also TL bias. I do feel like there’s some bias towards certain tropes with ExR’s TL, beyond the other clunky grammar or sentence/paragraph structure stuff)

but yeah it’s... a weirdly complex topic lol, because unfortunately I feel like some of the best contextualization I can offer for MXTX is “but have you read any of her other stuff,” which is. a difficult proposition to bring up when the person decrying MXTX is already disinclined towards MXTX and her works rip

[plaidstiel-wormstache]

The Nightmare pt1

AN: This is for my 1500 Follower and Halloween Challenge A two parter. Both prompts are in the second half. I wanna be fully upfront now and say I’ve taken both quotes from two wonderful ladies that had to drop out of my challenge for reasons. And I stole one of the monsters as well. Word Count: 3485 Prompts: “Don’t be afraid, YN. We’ll slow this down together. Feel my chest. Feel it moving in and out. Breathe like me. Breathe like me. Come on.” -Signs “Which would be worse - to live like a monster? Or to die as a good man?” -Shutter Island Monsters: Baku & Human Serial Killer Warnings: Horror elements, supernatural violence, maybe a little fluff, nightmares. More vivid warnings are in the tags (if you must). This is UNEDITED and unbeta’d - I apologise in advance! Characters: YN (reader), Dean and Sam, with a few OC’s and mentions along the way.

My feet smacked hard against the pavement. I gulped for air. My heart hammered in my chest, pumping adrenaline around and around my body. “Not fast enough!” The voice sounded from close behind me. I screamed, a blood-curdling noise that erupted from deeper than I knew possible. I ran faster, passing shop after shop. Lights on, shutters down, closed signs swinging. Why were all these stores closed? I reached out and caught myself on a sign-pole, propelling myself around the corner. There, at the end of the row, a restaurant. Open. “Help! Fire!” I screamed, hoping to gain anyone’s attention. The breath on the back of my neck made my whole body jerk forward. An uncontrollable shiver ran down my spine. I was so close, but so was he. I sprinted harder, willing myself to go faster. I burst through the door. Finally safe. “Help me!” I pleaded. I’d startled the man with the broom, but he straightened, walking towards me, arms outstretched, trying to hold my shoulders, calm me. “He’s coming!” I warned, fighting him to get back, away from the glass. If I stayed here he’d see me. He’d come for me. “Help me!” I screamed again. The man finally opened his mouth, “I’ve been waiting.”

I sat bolt upright, waking with a start. Sweat soaked my pajama shirt and the couch beneath me, while my heart hammered in my chest. “You okay?” Sam questioned from above me, his hands in the air, showing no harm. He was wearing his running gear and had clearly not just returned. “Nightmare.” I breathed, hand on my chest trying to steady the beating beneath it. “You need to talk?” Sam asked, dropping his hands to his side. I shook my head and pushed off the inches of blanket that remained over me before standing. “Go run, I’ll shower and find Dean.” I announced, looking at the empty bed, that I could’ve slept on. Sam waited a beat, giving me the option to change my mind. “Sam, I’m fine. Go.” I pushed, stepping toward him to physically push him through the door. “Alright, alright.” He said, finally leaving. I sighed when the door closed, sinking down to a crouch and covering my face with my hands. The nightmare always took a toll, never changing, never evolving, always terrifying.

“Where are you? We got another case. Sam and I have checked out, we’ll meet you at the diner.” I hung up from leaving Dean his third voicemail of the morning and shrugged at Sam when he raised his eyebrows. “Breakfast?” I suggested, hefting the bag further over my shoulder and watching as Sam did the same. “So, this morning, I was thinking, and, could it be a Chimera?” Sam asked, looking over his shoulder at me. “Uhh, remind what they are again.” I said, after having realised the name meant nothing to me. “They’re a mixture of different animals, depending on what you read, and an omen for disaster.” Sam said, looking down at me, a look of concern on his face when I shook my head. “The Iliad?” He asked, I feigned an oh of recognition and pushed on. “Yeah. Maybe. These people killed themselves, though.” I nodded my thanks when Sam pulled the door to the diner open for me, “Do Chimera’s cause suicide?” “I’ll keep reading.” Sam said, more to himself than me. We sat down in a booth towards the back of the diner, Sam taking out the tablet while I reached for the menu. The words blurred together when I tried to read it. I rubbed at my eyes and placed the menu back, already settled on what I’d have. “Storms, shipwrecks and natural disasters…” Sam muttered as he read. “Is suicide a natural disaster?” I tried, getting a frown from Sam without him averting his gaze from the website in front of him. "No … they--” “Morning darlin’s, may I take your order?” An older waitress asked, looking between the two of us. “Yeah, can I please get banana pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. He’ll have the omelette with a fruit salad--” “No, just--” Sam tried to correct, drawing the waitresses attention. “He’ll have the fruit salad.” I repeated, gaining a knowing smile from the waitress and a look of annoyance from Sam. “And we’re waiting on one more, but he’ll have the Special Fry Up, extra bacon.” I nodded, the lady tucked her notepad back into her apron. “Coffee?” She asked, looking between the two of us. “God, yes.” I exhaled, slouching in the booth. “Yes, please.” Sam said with a smile. “Alright then, I’ll be right back.” She said warmly before shuffling towards the coffee pots. “Why do you do that? You just steal the best bits of fruit, why don’t you just let me order what I actually want?” He asked, sinking down in the booth like a petulant child. I just shrugged and leant my elbows on the table. “So, Chimera? No?” I changed the subject, getting Sam back on track. “No. They infect and mutate with a dose of super strength.” He explained, handing me the tablet and pulling out the case notes he’d printed before we got on the road. “Back to the drawing board.” I muttered, closing that research tab after not reading it. “You guys investigating the suicides?” The waitress was back, pouring coffees but looking at the police notes Sam had. “Oh, uhh,” Sam turned them over, hiding the contents, “Yeah, in a way.” He said. “Can you tell us anything about them?” I asked, sitting up a little straighter, waiting eagerly for her to finish pouring my coffee. “Emma worked here for a week, she always looked so exhausted.” The waitress sighed, remembering her co-worker. A bang and an eruption of laughter broke her out of her memories and all of us turned towards the noise. “Stop!” The woman squealed, making both Sam and I groan. We watched Dean pull the young blonde closer to him and kiss her affectionately before letting her go. “You’re late, Stacey!” Our waitress called across the mostly empty diner, stalking after the young woman. “Hey.” Dean greeted, sliding into the booth next to me, bumping against my shoulder, jostling me as he got comfy. “Hey yourself.” I countered. Dean shrugged and smiled over at his brother instead. Sam blinked slowly, an annoyed look sat upon his features. “Life’s short.” Dean defended, “Whatcha got?” He asked, pulling the case notes out of Sam’s hands. “Not herpes.” I murmured under my breath, making the younger Winchester snicker. “Chimera.” Dean said confidently, nodding and looking at us both. “Already thought of that, not a Chimera.” Sam said, snatching the paper from Dean when he saw the older waitress heading towards us with three balanced plates. “Here we go, banana pancakes,” She slid the plate across the table to me, “Omelette,” She placed the dish down in front of Sam, “which means, Special.” She said, planting the plate with everything on it, in front of Dean. “Coming back with your salad.” She winked at Sam before leaving. “You ordered for me?” Dean asked, pulling me under his arm and locking me in a headlock, “Ain’t she the best?” Dean joked, holding me firmly in place. I didn’t have the energy to put up much of a fight, instead weakly clawing at his arm. “Ahem.” Came the small cough. Dean quickly let go of me, shoving me back to the corner of the booth. “Thanks.” Sam said, unnoticed by the not-too-impressed blonde who slammed the fruit salad down on the table and stalked off. “No, she’s a …” Dean called after the waitress before letting it go with a shrug. “Wanna finish that sentence?” I asked, turning on Dean, holding the end of my gun against the side of his kneecap. The older Winchester gulped as his brother laughed.

“And they have a lack of any happy hormone?” I asked, struggling to concentrate on what the coroner was saying. “Yeah...” She said, eyeing me from across the metal slab, “So did the others.” She added. “Any reason for that?” I asked. The woman in the white coat looked at Dean. “Is she okay?” She asked as I swayed, rubbing at my eyes and yawning. “Yeah, she’s … drove all night.” He lied, nudging me with his elbow when the woman turned around.   “So you were saying exhaustion and depression?” Dean continued, moving away, hoping to draw attention off me. “Yes, the chemicals the brain makes to make us dream, that essentially keep us going and striving for better, they’re non existent in these people. Like they were sucked dry.” The doctor explained, handing Dean a file. “Thanks, we’ll let you know if there’s anything else we need.” Dean wrapped, planting a firm hand in the small of my back and giving me a light shove towards the doors. “Wait,” The cororner called, making us both turn, one slightly faster than the other, “Do you have problems sleeping?” She asked me. “Not so much sleeping,” I mumbled, “Just the dreaming.” I couldn’t help the yawn that escaped. “There’s a, this is so unprofessional of me but…” She said, turning to her handbag at her desk. Dean looked between her and I, taking a minute step forward, I didn’t miss how he’d moved closer, just in case. “There’s this guy in town, he helped me with this recurring nightmare.” She handed me a card that had an address scribbled on it, “Don’t ask me how it worked, it just did. What’s to lose, huh?” She said with a smile and a shrug. “Thanks.” I said, waking up a little at the idea of a soundless sleep, “And what was your name again?” I asked, ignoring Dean’s eyeroll and moving closer to her, holding out my hand. “Amelia,” She said, taking my hand and batting her eyelashes. “What a beautiful na-” “Alright, let’s go.” Dean said, pulling me by my elbow out the doors. “Thanks!” Dean called over his shoulder to the confused, sexy, coroner.

“What’s wrong with you? Comatose one minute, flirting away the next.” Dean grumbled as we approached the Impala. “It’s these nightmares, they exhaust me more than being around you, does.” I earned myself one of Dean’s infamous annoyed glares before I slid into the front seat. “Well, I’ll drop you at this place, and catch up with Sam. Meet you back at the motel.” Dean said. Both brothers knew what the dream was, it was how I got my start in the hunting world. And even though I’d dealt with bigger and badder, that night still haunted me. “Thanks.” I said, settling further into the seat and closing my eyes. “So, you think the… You’re asleep aren’t you?” Dean glanced over at me. Mouth open, drool ready to spill over, eyes closed and a snore building.

“Watch out!” I yelled, waking up quickly as Dean slammed on the breaks and started laughing. “Never fails.” He chuckled, I punched his arm, hard and swung the door open. “Asshole.” I muttered, picking up my bag and climbing out of the front seat. “See you later.” He called out the window, muffler already growling as he pulled away. I looked up and down the street, cafes were spotted up and down, between boutiques and Bohemia themed stores, and in front of me, the address on the card. Sadi’s Psychic Solutions, I closed my eyes and rubbed the sleep from them, of course this is where a small town, outside New Orleans, would send me. I sighed heavily and took a step up, pushing the door open. “Welcome YN, I’ll be out in a moment.” A soft male’s voice called from the back somewhere. “Uhh, hi.” I called back, looking around at the dark room. It was what I expected from a place like this; beads over the doors, scented candles and incense sticks, crystals and statue like objects sitting on painted-black shelves. “Please, take a seat, I’m putting something together for your dreams.” He called again. This was creepy to say the least, he knew my name, he knew what I was there for. I hadn’t met a psychic before, but Sam and Dean said they once had a friend that was one, maybe this guy… “Hi there, I’m Sadi,” He greeted when he came out, holding a wooden bowl with, what looked like, potpourri inside. “Hey there, I was sent by--” “Amelia, yes, she had a similar problem with nightmares,” He began to explain, “She’s doing better now.” I couldn’t help but shake the feeling he was hiding something when he looked away and moved me into the other room, like maybe I wasn’t getting the whole truth. But I was so tired, and needed a full night’s rest without that damned nightmare, so I shook the thought from my head. “Do you mind if I ask, what the nightmare’s about?” He said, gesturing to the seat across from him. We’d walked into a back room, dark, lit only by candles, the bowl sitting in the middle of the table, between us. “You don’t know?” I said, raising an eyebrow at him. He smiled and nodded. “Of course,” He warmed his hands, waiting for my nod of consent before he placed them on either side of my head. “If you could close your eyes.” He said, closing his own. I closed them briefly but opened them again as soon as he started muttering under his breath. “You’re being followed, chased.” He said, I was impressed, but didn’t nod or acknowledge the guess, watching as his eyes scrunched and he rubbed a circle into my temples. I frowned, but let him. “You reach safety, but then that turns out to be the evil you’re running from.” He said, his eyes fluttered under his lashes and I quickly closed my eyes. His hands slowly lowered from my head and I blinked across at him. “Wow.” I said, it wasn’t a lie. I was a little taken by how accurate he was. It would’ve been more impressive if he had described the scene, but I didn’t know how he read or saw my dream. He might’ve just been reading feelings and not seeing it in front of him.

“So, here we have a mixture of ingredients. I can sense you believe in the paranormal world?” He inquired, watching me as I smiled. “Uhh, yep! It’s a hobby of mine.” I said, trying to contain how amused I was by myself. “So you’ll trust me when I say, this will only work if you believe it will?” He reached to the space beside him and procured a knife, not missing when I flinched. “Your blood will focus this spell to your specific dream.” He explained. I took a deep breath, taking the knife from him. “Fuck it.” I muttered, and in a practiced move, I cut along my palm and dropped blood into the bowl. He handed me a white rag. I wiped the blood from the knife and then wrapped my hand, watching him. “Give me your hands and we’ll begin.” He held his hands out, resting palm up on the table, either side of the bowl. I took a deep breath and reached out. “Let’s get me some solid sleep.” I breathed, joining my hands with his. “Watashi wa Baku o yobidasu. Kanojo no yume o toru tame ni koete kita. Gisei-sha ni sōgū suru mono o ubau.” He chanted, the bowl sparked and erupted in green flames, dying out as quickly as they started, my blood gone but the ingredients seemed untouched by fire. He loosened his grip on my hands and looked across at me. “All done?” I asked, tightening the cloth around my palm. “You will have uninterrupted sleep.” He sounded much like a fortune cookie. “How much is that?” I asked after an awkward beat of silence. “That’s one twenty-five.” He said, standing, suddenly no longer interested in being friendly and mysterious. He stood from the table and walked to the front room, leaving me gawking after him. That price was … if it didn’t work, I’d be back with my gun.

“So?” Sam asked, clearly clued in by the older Winchester as to where I’d just been. “We’ll see.” I huffed, sitting down on the couch, reaching for my heeled boots that accompanied today’s professional look. “What about you? Find anything?” I asked, missing the glance that passed between the two men. “Uhh, well… I was speaking to the families of the victims and seems they all had nightmares.” Sam explained, his tone was cautious, as if he was hoping I wasn’t hearing what he was saying. “What?” I asked, sitting back up, peeling off my blouse to relax in my tank top. “That’s not the worst part.” Dean said, somehow he found this humorous. I was gonna whoop his ass later. “Care to share?” I asked when it was obvious they were doing that annoying silent conversation thing. “Well, umm…” Sam began, swallowing thickly as he rubbed at the back of his neck. I looked to Dean who shrugged and quickly picked up his beer bottle, holding it to his lips in an unending sip. “Sam.” I cautioned. “They all went to Sadi’s Psychic Solutions.” He said, his expression already pained, as if I’d already blasted them. I clenched my jaw, closed my eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. “This is no different to being bait for another case. And if I get eight, uninterrupted hours out of it…” I tried to reason. The brothers were surprised at how easy I was taking this, so was I. But a solid sleep was something I daydreamed about, an unattainable desire. Of course I was willing to be the guinea pig in this instance. “Dinner?” I asked, breaking the silence. “Uhh, sure.” Dean said, having finally lowered the bottle from his mouth. “Let me change and then we can head to the bar.”

“I’ll take first shift, five hours should—” Sam said to his brother. “Whoa!” I said, opening the bathroom door after just closing it. “Shifts? I don’t need you doing a Cas, I don’t need you lurking over me while I sleep.” I informed. “But, what if this guy has-” Sam tried, no help from Dean who was too busy smirking. “Sam! Quit it. The vics offed themselves. I’m not about to do that. I feel fine.” I didn’t, I was close to snapping and killing the both of them, anything to get closer to sleep. Sam finally shrugged, looking down at his hands. I took that as a victory and headed back to the bathroom. “Give your gun to Sam and we’ll take the knife from under your pillow.” Dean suggested, sometimes he surprised me with just how good a mediator he could be. Sometimes. “Whatever. You’re just not watching me sleep.” I called back, changing into a ratty old shirt and someone’s stolen boxers.

When i got back into the room, I made a beeline for the bed, ignoring the two odd looks from the brothers that were now sitting at the small table. “Hey, that’s-” Dean tried, “Don’t.” Sam said, glancing over at me as I was already crawling onto the bed. “It was yours last night. Not my fault you spent it in a different bed.” I said over my shoulder, getting settled under the covers. “Actually, it wasn’t in a bed.” “Dean.” Sam groaned. I heard a light thump as Sam must’ve smacked at his older brother. “Night.” I yawned, pulling a pillow over my head. The boys kept murmuring between themselves, but once I closed my eyes…

“YNN.” Dean grumbled sleepily, he rubbed a knuckle into his eye as he awkwardly shifted on the couch. YN was whimpering in her sleep, something that happened often enough to not worry either of the boys, normally they wouldn’t wake to them. “Help,” She whined, Dean frowned and opened his eyes. She’d never spoken in her sleep before. “YN?” Dean called into the dark, louder than before. She was still whimpering, pleading for help. Dean looked over the arm of the lounge, and what he saw froze him to the lumpy cushions of the couch. YN was thrashing about in the bed, tossing and turning from the nightmare. But a dark figure loomed over her, what Dean suspected was the snout, was close to her head, a white stream flowing from her temple and through it’s open jaws. “YN!” Dean yelled, effectively waking Sam, who sat bolt upright. Sam’s arms were extended, gun held steadily out in front of him. A directing finger from Dean and Sam turned to face the spirit, firing a witch-killing bullet into the spirit. A high-pitched snarl ripped from the figure, a scream erupting from YN, as it disappeared, like a heavy fog clearing.

Part 2

Tagging Friends:

@akshi8278 @dont-trust-humanity @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @redlipstickandplaid @lipstickandwhiskey @jensen-jarpad @avasmommy224 @munlis @arryn-nyxx @autopistaaningunaparte @babypieandwhiskey @beckawinchester @blacktithe7 @bringmesomepie56 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @charliebradbury1104 @chvalkenberg95 @clairese1980 @dancingalone21 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @fandoms-are-the-best-escape @frenchybell @gabby913 @grace-for-sale @green-love-red-fantasyhearts @hasta-impalasta @i-like-your-assbutt-dean @ilostmyshoe-79 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @iwriteaboutdean @jalove-wecallhimdean @kazchester-fanfiction @kristaparadowski @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @lucifer-in-leather @lucis-unicorn @melonberri @manawhaat @mogaruke @mrswhozeewhatsis @nichelle-my-belle @notnaturalanahi @oriona75 @ruprecht0420 @sdavid09 @sherloki-moriartea @thegreatficmaster @waywardjoy @wheresthekillswitch @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @wi-deangirl77 @wideawakeandwriting @you-know-whodoesthat-crazypeople @maddieburcham1 @captainemwinchester @samwinjarpad @kittenofdoomage @atc74 @katymacsupernatural @room-with-a-cat @clairese1980 @emoryhemsworth @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ackleholic-hunter @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @whispersandwhiskerburn @ruprecht0420 @michellethetvaddict @sandlee44 @mrsbatesmotel53

[beebosbitchh]

1-10 I love hearing your answers :)

aw thank you :’-)

1. Name one way you break the wlw stereotype. (Fat, trans, poc, autistic, etc)

im non binary ! 

2. Who was the first girl you remember having feelings for?

hmm i think i had them when i was younger i just didnt think about it? the first one i remember was in 7th grade with this girl in my home ec and gym class.. i think i mostly liked her bc i didnt know many other gays and i knew she was one but she was/is really pretty like how.. also is 7th grade there was this girl in my computers class i sat by who, thinking back on it, i wanted to date lol. we werent super close but i always felt safe with them and their personality was just,, goodd ya know

3. What’s your opinion on the butch/femme labels? Do you think they’re harmful?

i think with any label they arent harmful if you assign them to yourself? like i dont see any harm in them as long as no one is forcing anyone into a box… i hadnt even considered this i havent seen any discourse on it before ig i dont really know

4. Do you have a girlfriend?

hellllll yeahhhh 

5. Define love in 5 words or less

didnt they tellyou whothe donorwas?

6. What characteristics do you look for in a girl?

mmmmmmm gay, good humor, interesting, willingly to date me/be seen w me in public

7. Do you participate in LGBTQ clubs and events?

i used to be in gsa but its kinda weird at my school :-/, the place where i work has an art workshop for lgbt teens that i might try to be in this year

8. Are you out to anyone outside of tumblr?

yeah my parents know and for the most part idc who knows at school.. im not out to my extended family as far as i know…

9. Say some things you love about your crush/girlfriend?

uhh everything? i love when claire explains skyrim to me its v cute, i love when she watches pg movies with me, i love her freckles and her nose n her lips n braces n eyes n eyelashes that point down that annoy her (but its cute soo), i love her laugh especially when shes delirious which is a lot, i love her hands which she draws on or gets paint on (that i !!! get to hold !!!1!), i love when she hears smt that doesnt make sense so she looks at me w a weird face like ???, i love when she smiles!!!!!!!! , i love how she makes sure i stay on the sidewalk when im third wheeling, i love how she puts stickers on me throughout the day, i love how vocal she can get when shes around more or friends bc shes v quiet around people shes uncomfortable w, i love that she smells good and i can literally tell if shes near me its such a comfort, i love when she sends w good memes or pictures of dogs she meets ..

fellas is it gay, to be a huge lesbian  ????????

10. Do you want to get married?

binch do i ! 

[i-amusemyself]

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

[stopbashingmm-blog]

Please everyone JUST STOP!

Everything seems to have got way out of hand, everywhere. It is like a super shit show with different factions trying to put each other down.  Shippers/Extremers/tinhatters - JUST STOP IT. You are turning my OL experience into a horror story. How dare you do that. I come on here for a bit of fun and all I see is argument/nastiness/bitchiness levelled at anyone who does not support or agree with your shipping beliefs. Well just get over it. Not everyone has the same opinion as you - I certainly don’t. I can tell you that many regular fans don’t either.  Many are too afraid to make any kind of comment about Sam and who he may be dating or respond to a comment that Sam and Cait are not a couple, for fear that they will be mob attacked by a bunch of angry misogynistic mean girl shippers who  think it is their God given right to berate anyone who might not agree with their ship. That is NOT ok. Half the time the regular fan doesn’t have a clue what they have done to incur the wrath of you extreme (so called) fans. I know some who have left twitter because of it. How dare you do that to other fans. You represent just a tiny portion of the fan-base, what makes you think you are any more entitled than other non-shipper/regular fans. Making demands of Sam and the other stars, - well just stop it. Take your self centered, over-inflated egos somewhere else. Go away, if you can’t be nice you are not wanted here.  Best fans ever - I think NOT!

Now lets talk about Mackenzie Mauzy If you are commenting on her IG - JUST STOP IT -  I hadn’t heard of her before she became connected with Sam, but that doesn’t mean much because I don’t keep up with what's new on TV and don’t watch a lot of fiction TV, however I feel so disgusted and appalled by the abuse thrown at her on IG that I feel compelled to defend her. The nastiness shown on IG is so unbelievably mean I simply cannot comprehend anyone treating another human being like that. Is it any wonder that people who have been bullied snap and go around harming other people. When I was in my early teens I spent a complete day at school being poked in the back by 2 bullies, it didn’t physically hurt me but it was very annoying and by the end of the school day I had had enough, SNAPPED and I am ashamed to say I hit one of the bullies, I like to think I have a little more self control/maturity these days but I use that example to highlight what happens when people get pushed too far, they do things very much out of character.  I am not in any way suggesting that Mackenzie would do such a thing but boy oh boy I admire her resilience. She shows a thousand fold the character that you bullies show. you should be ashamed of yourselves - You wonder why you are all so disliked, go look in the mirror, tell yourself those same nasty words that you throw at Mackenzie (and others), then ask yourself whether or not your words would hurt. Imagine saying those words to your daughter or grandaughter. Not nice hey. So if you can’t be nice - Go away - that sort of behavior will not be tolerated here.  Mean girl best fans ever - I think NOT!

In addition I think sometimes we all need to step back and breathe before reacting, look at the context/the intent/the nature of what is posted. Sometimes the person posting is from a different country, speaks a different language or simply has a different understanding of particular words. Sometimes the meaning is lost or skewed because of the way the message is interpreted. Take a breath, read it over twice or more, think about what the poster is saying, could they mean something else? Then very carefully think about what your response may be. I have seen some very funny, very logical responses but I have also seen some that - from my perspective - could have been worded a bit better.   Best Fans Ever - let’s try hard to be.

I believe in leading by example, I have never commented on Mackenzie’s IG and (at this stage) do not intend to, I am very careful not to post anything on SM that may be misinterpreted or taken as being mean girlish, Fingers crossed - so far I haven’t done so. It is my hope that we can all do better to make the OL fandom a more harmonious place for everyone. Let’s truly become Best Fans Ever. I promised myself I would never write a big long essay - now look what you have made me do. :-)

Of course this is all just my opinion and you are free to disagree if you want. Just be nice about it is all I am asking.