#no colon still rollin

[b-j-d]

Today is Stan Lee Stoma's 10th Birthday 🎂🥳🥂🍾

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[peppermintfeather]

To the tune of Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse: Hey hey, life with a J-pouch 🎵

[corgabe]

I have two and a half hours before my meeting so I am just chilling

Damn I look good

No colon, still rollin’

[oddsnendsfanfics]

The four horses of ostomy awareness day. They are all in for ostomy and a huge part of my ileostomy life ♥️

[hauntedhearse]

Today marks TWO YEARS since I said goodbye to my colon. It was an eight hour surgery. Since then I’ve been hospitalized seven times (mostly due to motility issues). Despite the difficult days, I’ve had many beautiful ones. This life isn’t easy, but it’s mine. I’m grateful for it and I know things will keep getting better because I’m a warrior. ∞

[shatterdomejaeger]

[whatcanieat1]

Recovery update 2

I’ve been home almost a week now and things have been both good and bad; I’ve been able to eat a bit more without feeling sick, I’ve been controlling my pain fairly effectively and I was able to walk a fair bit today with my walking stick. 

However, I am still getting a lot of wind passing through my stoma, the skin around him is still a tad bit sore, and today I have experienced what looks like blood in my output. As it turns out, blood in output is quite normal but I did get a bit worried and I did several things to try and get answers.

Firstly, I posted on the No Colon Still Rollin’ Facebook page and the guys there were very supportive, saying it’s normal and not to stress too much about it. Secondly, I spoke to an out of hours doctor (it’s Sunday so my GP and stoma nurse are closed) and she said I could be seen in the emergency clinic. I didn’t really want to do this as I don’t feel this is an emergency and that appointment could be given to someone who really needs it. Also, while I was speaking to her, my amazing partner did a bit of research online and confirmed that it is indeed normal for new stomas to bleed a bit for the first five to six weeks. I am still going to call my stoma nurse tomorrow morning just in case, but this has put my mind at ease so I’m not too worried about it.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 

[wrestlingisfake]

Raw Fake Rankings, 1/28/2020

Men’s heavyweight singles division - babyfaces

Drew McIntyre

Kevin Owens

Rey Mysterio

Rusev

Ricochet

Aleister Black

Humberto Carillo

Men’s heavyweight singles division - heels

Randy Orton

Bobby Lashley

Erick Rowan

Mojo Rawley (24/7 champion)

Unranked: Akira Tozawa, Matt Hardy, No Way Jose, R-Truth, Shelton Benjamin

Raw has a spate of bad luck in the past couple of days, with AJ Styles and Samoa Joe suffering injuries and Andrade being suspended.  The heel side isn’t quite as bad as it looks, though, since Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy have more or less moved to the tag division and Brock Lesnar will probably be more active heading into Wrestlemania.  Still, Raw needs to push some new heels, pronto, which may benefit the new direction for Mojo Rawley and Riddick Moss.

When ranking WWE talent, it’s remarkably difficult to balance the factors of win-loss records and storyline prominence.  As far as I can tell, Aleister Black wins constantly, but he’s always up against nobodies in irrelevant squash matches, while Rusev has been booked like a chump in one of the most heavily featured feuds in the past six months.

Men’s tag team division - babyfaces

The Viking Raders - Erik & Ivar

The Street Profits - Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford

Men’s tag team divsion - heels

Seth Rollins & Buddy Murphy (Raw tag team champions)

AOP - Akam & Rezar

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

I would think the plan is for Rollins & Murphy vs. Owens & Joe at Wrestlemania, since that’s the best use of three top stars and the tag title.  Then again, knowing WWE, they’ll move the titles onto one of the other teams and do a four-way in the pre-show, or just not have a tag title match at Wrestlemania at all.

The Street Profits seem popular but they don’t appear to wrestle all that often.  It’s telling they were left out of the Royal Rumble to do a promo about the show itself.  The risk with their whole “Weekend Update” gimmick is that Vince will find it so entertaining that he’ll forget these guys can wrestle.

Women’s singles division - babyfaces

Becky Lynch (Raw women’s champion)

Charlotte Flair

Liv Morgan

Women’s singles division - heels

Asuka (women’s tag team champion)

Kairi Sane (women’s tag team champion)

Lana

Unranked: Natalya, Sarah Logan, Zelina Vega

At this point it’s hard to pretend there’s an actual women’s tag team division, since the tag champions are focused on one-on-one feuds.  There aren’t enough solo heels on TV for the singles babyfaces to fight, and there aren’t any face teams on TV for the heel team to fight. 

This could be addressed by pushing Natalya and Sarah Logan more, or having Zelina wrestle instead of sitting home during Andrade’s suspension, or bringing the Iiconics back from whatever hole they fell in, but WWE just...doesn’t do that.  This is the core problem with women’s wrestling in WWE altogether.  You can call up more women from NXT, or create more championships, but they won’t mean a thing if Vince just doesn’t bother to use them.

No TV or PPV matches in 30 days: Cedric Alexander, Eric Young, Zack Ryder

No TV or PPV matches in 60 days: Billie Kay, Curt Hawkins, EC3, Peyton Royce, Riddick Moss, Titus O’Neil

I haven’t kept track of whether any of these people appear in the “geeks chase the 24/7 champion” skits, which might be coming to an end if they’re serious about Mojo putting a stop to it.  Titus, EC3, and Eric Young really feel like guys that would be getting cut in May if not for the fear of letting anyone jump to AEW.  (Which is kinda silly anyway, since it’s not like Shawn Spears has been that much of a difference maker for AEW.)

Part-timers: Big Show, Brock Lesnar (world champion), Edge, MVP

It’s not clear year whether Edge or MVP are going to work every week or just do limited appearances while they’re around.  It’s also not clear how long either of them will stick around.  Edge is obviously setting up a Wrestlemania program with Randy Orton, and I could see him taking a Saudi Arabia show payday, but he may have no intention to work throughout the year.

Inactive

AJ Styles (left shoulder - separation)

Andrade (United States champion; 30-day wellness policy suspension)

Jinder Mahal (right knee - patellar tendon tear)

Samoa Joe (possible concussion)

Unassigned since October 2019 draft

Ember Moon (right ankle - Achilles tendon tear)

Epico Colon

Goldberg

Jeff Hardy (right knee - PCL tear)

John Cena

Lars Sullivan (knee - unspecified injury)

Mickie James (knee - ACL tear)

Nia Jax (both knees - ACL tear)

Primo Colon

Ruby Riott (both shoulders - unspecified injuries)

Shane McMahon

Triple H

Undertaker

During the last draft it was explained that anyone not formally selected would be a free agent, even if they had previously been affiliated with Raw or Smackown.  So in theory the above people could be “signed” to either show, and would be obligated to remain there until another draft/shakeup/lottery/whatever.  In practice, I’m pretty sure Triple H will just show up on whatever brand his next opponent is in.

Curiously, I just noticed Ronda Rousey has been moved to WWE.com’s alumni section.  She’s been gone for nearly a year, with no clear timetable for a return.  It wouldn’t be the first time WWE reclassified someone into “alumni” purely for storytelling purposes, so this may not mean she’s really gone.  But it’s pretty unusual--WWE still lists Jason Jordan and the Colons as active wrestlers, even though it looks like none of them will ever return to a WWE ring.

[chronicallystrongblog]

So honored to be featured in the new Patients Have Power Magazine by Clara Health! You can get your own copy by donating to one of Clara’s partner organizations!

[b-j-d]

It’s Canada Ostomy Day! Forgive our laziness and using last year’s photo, but Stan Lee looks so damn dapper. It was a hard photo to beat 🎩

This is Stan Lee’s first year as a permanent ileostomy! Since surgery in December left him in place for good.

[sicklord]

Update! 1+ years later :)

Holy shit i havent logged on here in a million years... for whomstever is still following me that knew me before, i just wanted to let yall know i just turned 21 last week. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, to know i managed to survive and live this long. I got discharged from the hospital almost exactly a year ago and i only go back for monthly infusions, but generally im doing well! Its been a super long healing process. Im no longer on opiates to manage pain, still rollin without a colon but its okay. I hope all of you guys are doing well <3

[oddsnendsfanfics]

You have no belly button? How? That’s so fascinating!

I used to have a belly button, then I had a 2 sided belly button, but now I have none. 

Short version! Because otherwise I will write a damn medical paper LOL. 

in 2013 I had 2 surgeries to remove my bowel and large intestine. To do this, they had to cut through my abdomen, which separated my belly button. After that healed the incision (which was 2ft long and 6 inches deep) closed, the skin underneath was healthy and a belly button was able to be formed. Inside it had a bit of skin in the middle, making it two sided. 

In 2016 I had another surgery, which I had to remove the rest of my colon leaving me with a permanent ostomy, when that incision healed there was so much scar tissue (the first 2 surgeries were emergency and had a lot of infections) that they wanted a clean heal. The surgeon stapled it shut and because we wanted it to heal a little faster (the other one took 6 months!), we didn’t worry about forming a belly button. 

So, I no longer have a belly button. Just a really cool scar that runs down the middle, 

[hauntedhearse]

Today is World Ostomy Day. I’ve only had an ostomy for 4 weeks, so I’m still trying to come to terms with it. Most days I have felt like I’m not myself anymore. I’ve felt depressed and ugly and wondered why this had to happen. But God doesn’t make mistakes. My life is not a mistake. These pictures showed me that even with the bag I can still be pretty. I am still a human, a woman, a wife, a daughter. I still have worth. ∞

[placetobenation]

This coming Sunday we will witness one of the more loaded WrestleMania cards in history. With 13 matches on the card and a possibility of Undertaker vs. John Cena taking place, lets see what we have in store.

WRESTLEMANIA WOMEN’S BATTLE ROYAL (KICKOFF SHOW)

Those confirmed so far are: Sasha Banks, Natalya, Lana, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Becky Lynch, Naomi, Bayley, Mickie James, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, and Carmella. Expect other competitors from NXT and maybe a name or two from the past to participate in this inaugural event. Besides a possible surprise entrant winning (Ember Moon?), the only others I can see winning this are Sasha Banks, Bayley, and Becky Lynch. Carmella has the briefcase (which could come into play later on in the show) and does not need this win. If Sasha and Bayley continue to feud then the finish could play into that. They could also give Becky the win and try to use that for a feud since she has been wasting away on Smackdown. I’d give Sasha the win here and use this to taunt Bayley for their feud. WINNER: SASHA BANKS

ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL (KICKOFF SHOW)

Confirmed for this match are: Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Tye Dillinger, Dash Wilder, Scott Dawson, Matt Hardy, Goldust, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Zack Ryder, and Primo Colon. Former winners Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley return but I do not see them as potential victors in this match as it does not make much sense. I also do not expect any of the other names listed to win this match. I think a returning wrestler is going to win this and I’ll go with Big Cass, who will need something returning from injury. Even Big Show is a possibility of being a two-time winner but I think Cass will get the nod in this match. WINNER: BIG CASS

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINALS MATCH: CEDRIC ALEXANDER VS. MUSTAFA ALI (KICKOFF SHOW)

Since WrestleMania 33 the Cruiserweight Division has had a rough time. Neville is sitting home and Enzo Amore,Rich Swann, and Austin Aries were all fired from the company. With the division on life support a switch was made an a 16-man tournament was held to crown a new champion and it has breathed life into 205 Live. During the year, Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali (you can add Drew Gulak to the mix as well) have been the most consistent competitors and deserving of a WrestleMania match. When the tournament was put together you got the sense that Cedric would be winning. However, Ali has been cutting some great promos (Like this one from WWE’s YouTube channel) and the story of him using the fact he was only an alternate for the Cruiserweight Classic as fuel to get him the title. There are cases for both guys getting the win and Ali’s underdog story would make for a nice moment but I’ll still go with Cedric here in what should be an excellent match. I think Cedric wins because if he losses then where do you go with him? Ali can get another title opportunity whereas Cedric would end up lost in the shuffle and labeled a choker. WINNER: CEDRIC ALEXANDER

RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ALEXA BLISS (C) VS. NIA JAX

This has been one of the better feuds on WWE TV of late. The fans have gotten behind Jax, the victim of verbal abuse and manipulation by her former friend. Bliss is a great character but dominates her feuds to the point where it has become a detriment to her opponent. It has also made her title reign feel stale and predictable.  In this match, I expect Bliss to finally get some comeuppance and lose the belt. Maybe Bliss can go over to Smackdown and start some new feuds because she has already feuded with everyone on RAW. WINNER: ALEXA BLISS

RAW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: CESARO & SHEAMUS VS. BRAUN STROWMAN AND A PARTNER OF HIS CHOOSING

The Bar has gone through the other teams on RAW so they had to create new challengers. The intrigue is seeing who will be Braun’s partner and you can speculate as to who he will end up choosing (could be someone returning from injury like Samoa Joe or Big Show or another person on the main roster like Elias) but no matter what I think we see a title change here. If the Bar stays as a team, switching brands is for the best, but a split might be a good idea too. I do not think this will be a long match but Braun being a tag champ gives him something to do for the short term. WINNER: BRAUN STROWMAN & MYSTERY PARTNER

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH: RANDY ORTON (C) VS. RUSEV VS. BOBBY ROODE VS. JINDER MAHAL

This is a match with little fanfare. The addition of Rusev was late (PWInsider reports he was added to this match because the company wanted to appease to him after he requested his release) to make this a fatal four-way. He might get the title as a result but watching Orton hit the RKO and getting a win seems fitting for WrestleMania. I really do not see Roode or Mahal having a chance to win but I’ll go with Orton as the winner here but do not be surprised to see a Rusev Day celebration. Rusev can pin Roode or Mahal so Orton can drop the title without getting pinned. WINNER: RANDY ORTON

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: THE MIZ (C) VS. FINN BALOR VS. SETH ROLLINS

Balor and Rollins had an excellent match this past Monday on RAW with Rollins getting the win. That would lead you to believe that Rollins is the favorite to win this match. Rollins has really stepped up his game over the past couple of months too. This is Balor’s first WrestleMania though and since he just lost on TV I think they return the favor and give him the title. I cannot see Miz retaining and heading over to Smackdown for a feud against Daniel Bryan seems like a natural thing to do. Miz could even retain and take the IC Title with him to Smackdown but I do not think that is the route the company takes. WINNER: FINN BALOR

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: THE USOS (C) VS. NEW DAY VS. BLUDGEON BROTHERS

The Usos/New Day feud has been the highlight of Smackdown. They have several fantastic matches together but its time for both teams to move on from each other. The Usos have established themselves as a top team but could use a change of scenery. The New Day are still popular but there will come a time where they are going to split up the group or at least break off one member as a singles star. The Bludgeon Brothers involved themselves into this feud after a run-in attack at Fastlane. I do not see any case where the New Day wins this match. The Usos would benefit from a brand switch as the RAW tag ranks needs to be freshened up. I think a scenario where the Usos pin the New Day then lose to Bludgeon Brothers two days later on Smackdown could work well in numerous ways. It can close the book on the New Day/Usos feud and you can also have Usos go over to RAW. WINNER: THE USOS

SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CHARLOTTE FLAIR (C) VS. ASUKA

Asuka earned her shot by winning the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble match. The story here is really Asuka putting her undefeated streak on the line against what she feels is the top Women’s Champion to prove who is the best. I think we get a highly competitive match and in the end Asuka comes out on top. A scenario where Carmella finally cashes in her Money in the Bank Briefcase only to lose would be highly possible as Asuka can maintain her streak without Charlotte getting pinned. I don’t think Carmella becoming champion is the route they take. WINNER: ASUKA

DANIEL BRYAN & SHANE MCMAHON VS. KEVIN OWENS & SAMI ZAYN

Zayn & Owens need to win in order to keep their jobs on Smackdown. Daniel Bryan’s return to the WWE ring should make for a great moment. The story between all four involved has had its ups and downs but has greatly improved since Fastlane. You get a feeling that Shane can turn on Bryan, and that might happen, but with Bryan returning to the ring I don’t think they want him to lose right off the bat and especially to Owens & Zayn. You can just have Owens & Zayn lose then head over to RAW. Owens & Zayn vs. Braun & Mystery Partner could be your new RAW Tag Team Title feud. I see Bryan winning this match then leading the crowd into an unbelievably loud “yes” chant. WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN & SHANE MCMAHON

KURT ANGLE & RONDA ROUSEY VS. TRIPLE H & STEPHANIE MCMAHON

The beef between Rousey and Stephanie started three years ago at WrestleMania 31 when Rousey threatened to break Stephanie’s arm. And Triple H attacked Kurt Angle at this past Survivor Series to add fuel to the fire. There is a lot of pressure on Rousey in her first match as in WWE. especially since her work on the mic has not wowed anyone.Its clear the company has plans for her and a bad performance will garner a lot of negative attention. Triple H & Stephanie have been tremendous heels on TV to set up this match and have really helped ease Rousey’s transition on screen. I cannot envision a scenario in which Rousey loses so her pinning Stephanie seems like a really safe bet to make in one of the more intriguing matches on the show. WINNER: KURT ANGLE & RONDA ROUSEY

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ STYLES (C) VS. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA

These two faced off against each other at New Japan Pro Wrestling’s Wrestle Kingdom 10 event back in 2016 with Nakamura coming out on top in a great match. This time the WWE Championship is at stake with Nakamura choosing to go after this belt after winning the Royal Rumble. I expect a competitive match here and at the end I’m going with Nakamura as the winner. With a roster shakeup expected shortly after WrestleMania I believe that AJ will head over to RAW while Nakamura can feud with a new challenger. This has strong potential to end up as the match of the night. WINNER: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA

UNIVERSAL TITLE MATCH: BROCK LESNAR (C) W/ PAUL HEYMAN VS. ROMAN REIGNS

A rematch three years in the making. With Dana White coming out saying Brock Lesnar is returning to UFC and the fact the company has handpicked Reigns as their future face of the company the outcome seems easy to predict. With that being said, these two had an incredible match at WrestleMania 31 and there is no reason it cannot happen again here even if Lesnar is on the way out. I expect both guys to give it their all and at the end Reigns comes out victorious, likely closing out his 4th straight WrestleMania. WINNER: ROMAN REIGNS

[charleymckelvy]

DIET RELATED

NO COLON; STILL ROLLIN’ flash fiction by Charles McKelvy

An ominous look from the white coat with the clipboard and then: “We don’t like the size of that mass in your colon.” The patient gulped and choked out a feeble: “So—“ “So,” the white coat said, “we’re going to do another colonoscopy in a month, and, if it’s still there, your colon’s coming out.” The patient swallowed and dragged his…