#no clue what this is but hi seb!!!

[mndvx]

dopegirlstv Here come the girls... At the end of World War One, a newly empowered generation of women turn to the illicit and intoxicating world of underground Soho nightclubs. #DopeGirls, coming soon to @BBCiPlayer.

[skitskatdacat63]

2010 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Robert Kubica & Felipe Massa)

[lovelandfrogman]

placing a crumbled up blaseball request paper that says sebastian telephone in your mailbox

blasetober day 18: sebastian telephone

we are so back. i thought i was in art block for a second there. anyways i’ve been thinking abt seb+jess with screen-ish eyes that can show stuff!!

[kay9leo]

Drawing at an Apple Store

When your sis wants to check the specs of an iPad at the apple store and she introduces you to Procreate, leading you to doodle/draw this:

The brain rot is real.

[mclqren]

MAKE A WISH ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!childhood friend!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you and charles have been friends since you were little kids, and each year without fail charles posts you on your birthday, unknowingly marking the milestones of your relationship [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ none, i think!

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader grew up in monaco. i tried to use old-ish pictures to mark the time period he was posting her from! this one's a bit on the shorter side because i only included charles' perspective of posting her. the fc i've used is cindy kimberly, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2017

liked by yourusername, user1, and 14,192 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc happy birthday to my very best friend! can't believe we've been friends for more than ten years, time flies by when you're having fun! love you y/n, have the best day ❤️

view all comments

yourusername awww charlieee!!

yourusername this is the sweetest omg

yourusername thank god you didn't use that crusty photo of me you threatened to use...

user1 okay now we haveee to see it

yourusername NOOO NEVERRR

yourusername thank you sm love you!!💘

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

user2 scrolled so far down i managed to find these old gems of y/n 🤣

user3 stop they're acc so cute i can't

user4 the way this is the point where they relationship was just so sweet and innocent is so heartwarming to me

user5 also before charles got slowly more and more whipped with each post he made

2018

liked by yourusername, user6, and 67,256 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc Y/N!! another year of us being friends, and another year where i have to put up with your awful dad jokes & incapability of cooking 🤣🤣 still, wouldn't have it any other way! love you y/n ❤️

view all comments

yourusername stoppp that cat was sooo cute

charles_leclerc ur cuter 😘

user6 THE BLATANT FLIRTING HELLOOOO??

yourusername birthday wishes much appreciated charles!! thank youuu 💘💘

charles_leclerc why so formal??

yourusername idk just felt like it ❤️

yourusername i literally can cook idk what you mean

charles_leclerc you almost burnt down my apartment??

yourusername intentional. 😊

user7 is that his girlfriend???

user8 nooo his childhood best friend from monaco!!

user9 well not yet anyways 🤷‍♀️

yourusername NOT THE BANGSSS IT WAS A DARK TIME OKAY

user10 Y/N REVISITING THIS IS SO FUNNY

yourusername NO STOPP WHAT WAS I THINKING.

2019

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, and 102,441 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc hopefully the getaway to italy was enough of a birthday present for you 😘 happy birthday y/n! no one else i'd rather eat crappy pizza with ❤️

view all comments

user11 TELL ME HOW THEY'RE NOT DATINGG

user12 omg she is absolutely STUNNING!!

yourusername CHARLIEEE IT WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH

user13 she seems like such a sweetheart

yourusername the flowers were so beautiful oh my

charles_leclerc you have no clue how long it took me to find them 🤣🤣❤️

user14 GET TOGETHER ALREADYY

sebastianvettel 👀👀

user15 SEB IS HERE!!

user16 what on earth can this man know

2020

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 274,928 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc happy birthday to the craziest cat lady i know!! 🐈‍⬛ thanks for supporting me through my ups and downs, and staying with me during this crazy journey! the best person to ever have by my side ❤️

view all comments

user17 oh so he's in love.

user18 RIGHTTT

yourusername you can NEVERRR take me away from cats!!

charles_leclerc as a dog person this hurts

yourusername idc deal with it eclair!!

user19 crazy cat lady x dog guy >>>>

yourusername love you charlie 💘💘

user20 CHARLIE HAS ME WEAKKK

user21 if this man doesn't want her I DOOO PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE Y/N

user22 looking back on this in 2024 it's actually sooo obvious idk how (some) of us didn't see it

2021

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 451,002 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc forever thankful that my mama made me play with my (annoying) new neighbour when i was 7 years old 🤣❤️ happy birthday y/n, hope it's the best one yet!

view all comments

user23 HOW IS SHE SO PRETTYYY

user24 more y/n content asap pleaseeee

yourusername exploring spain w you was sooo much fun & the tour guide was great asw! @/carlossainz55 😉😉

carlossainz55 it was my pleasure! ❤️❤️

user25 PLS SAY THEY ARENT DATINGGG I WANT CHARLES & Y/N

yourusername omg no he's in a long term relationship & i'm not at all interested 😭😭

user26 charles x y/n is still possible then!!

yourusername not the picture of me and the sushi 🤣 my one true love!

charles_leclerc i think you prefer the sushi to me

yourusername you'd be right!!

user27 wait guys i'm a new fan who is this??

user28 y/n l/n!! she's charles' childhood best friend from monaco (and we're all 99% sure they're in love)

2022

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 729,090 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc the only person who continually manages to pull off white regardless of the weather ☀️ happiest of birthdays to you y/n! love you more each year ❤️

view all comments

user29 JUST ADMIT IT UR IN LOVEEEE

user30 L-O-V-E

user31 hey alexa play you are in love by taylor swift (listen until it gets in ur head pls!)

user32 literally: "pauses, then says you're my best friend and you knew what it was, he is in love"

yourusername I LOVE YOU 💘

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

user33 they're lovers, your honor.

yourusername don't get in the way of me and one direction

pierregasly are they not over??

yourusername SHUT UP GASLY IM IN DENIALLL

user34 she's truly one of us!!

2023

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 1,033,994 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc my very best friend and now, i can officially say, the woman i am very much in love with. happy birthday y/n - thanks for putting up with me all these years ❤️❤️

view all comments

user35 CHARLES X Y/N CONFIRMEDDD

user36 THE CAPTION?? THEY ADMITTED THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER IM CRYING

user37 AND THE LAST PICTURE?? I LOVE THEMMMM

yourusername my love forever 💘💘

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

user38 parents pls adopt me i beg

yourusername THE FIRST PIC HELP i did NOT think you'd post that

charles_leclerc why wouldnt i 🤷‍♂️

francisca.cgomes what are you doing with MY WIFE 😖

yourusername idk PLEASE come pick me up baby he's annoying me sm rn ❤️❤️

francisca.cgomes dw on my way rn 🙏

pierregasly oh???

charles_leclerc it would seem we've been replaced, pierre!

2024

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,801,332 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc MY girlfriend!! happy birthday y/n l/n; 14 year old me would be very happy to call the girl he'd been in love with since a kid his girlfriend ❤️

view all comments

yourusername 14 year old me would be screaming crying throwing up right about now, if it's any consolation

charles_leclerc 🤣🤣❤️

user39 THE WAY THEY LOVED EACH OTHER AS KIDS ASW I CANT

user40 the definition of soulmates i can't

user41 PARENTSSS

user42 i need to find me someone who loves me the way charles loves y/n

yourusername in all realness though kika is my gf sooo idk what the caption is about buddy!

francisca.cgomes righttt?? 😘😘

charles_leclerc so should i change the caption orrr?

yourusername NOO i have to flex my relationship somehow 🤷‍♀️

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[solaireverie]

cl16 | are we out of the woods yet?

summary: [ charles leclerc x f!driver!reader — social media au / fic ] after you get into a rough crash, charles is faced with difficult decisions

request: can i get a female driver reader injury/crash angst with daniel, seb or charles pls love your fics!

warnings: crashes and injuries, general medical stuff, unspecified mentions of death (implied to be jules and hervé), open/unclear ending

author’s note: hihi lovely!! tysm for requesting <3 hope this is enough angst for you ;) also i have no clue how to write injuries soooooo just roll with it

5,891 likes

ynupdates y/n has been taken to the medical center following her crash in the #brazilgp. no further news has been released yet. we're all behind you, y/n! 🤞

view comments

user did anyone see if she was able to get out of the car by herself?

↪ user no, i think she had to be extracted by the medical crew 😬

user i hope she's okay...

Charles' phone is halfway out of his pocket when it starts ringing. Glancing at the screen, he swipes to accept the call when he sees that it's from your mother. He had called her a few minutes ago, when the sight of your crash had first appeared on the screens in the Ferrari paddock, but she hadn’t picked up. Her voice filters through the speakers of his phone, worry tinging her tone. 

“Do you have news yet?” she asks.

“Don’t know,” Charles replies, “I’m on my way to see her now. It… might be good to book a flight — and soon.” He doesn’t want to alarm your mom but it seems inevitable and he knows that you would want her next to you. 

“Okay,” she breathes shakily, “and Charles?”

“Yeah?”

“She better be okay when I get there.”

Charles winces. Of all the people in the world, he knows all too well why you can never make any promises, especially in Formula 1. 

“I’ll do my best,” he says and ends the call.

There’s a marshal waiting for him in the tiny waiting area in the medical center. He’s pacing nervously and immediately strides towards Charles as soon as he sees him. 

“Mr. Leclerc,” he begins, “the doctors wanted to see you before they take any further action. You have medical power of attorney for Ms. L/N in case of emergency, correct?” 

Charles nods numbly. It had been a precaution at the time because you had insisted that out of everyone in the paddock, you trusted him the most. He had accepted it without thinking twice but now the weight of the responsibility settles heavily over his shoulders. He follows the marshal past empty treatment rooms until they reach one with its door thrown open. 

Charles feels his lunch crawling back up his throat as he stares at your figure. You’re laid out on a stretcher and you’d almost look peaceful if not for the numerous medical apparatuses connected to you and the thin trickle of dried blood on your temple. He somehow finds his voice again.

“What happened?” he asks, almost afraid to hear the answer.

A paramedic steps forward. “Ms. L/N took quite a knock in her crash, I’m afraid,” she explains gently. “Something came loose in the cockpit and hit her head. We’re not sure if there’s any further internal injuries, but our professional opinion is that she should be moved as soon as possible to a hospital for further testing.”

Charles swallows around a lump in his throat. “Is there any particular risk with transporting her in this state?” 

The paramedic shakes her head. “No more than the usual, which is relatively low compared to the risk that we run by keeping her here without knowing if there’s anything else wrong.” 

Charles follows your ambulance all the way into the hospital in a haze. He barely registers the press grouped outside the entrance, pushing through them, always keeping you in his sights. He waits outside of the examination room they bring you into and follows as they wheel you around, receiving god knows how many tests. 

After a while members of your team start showing up, although they keep a respectful distance from Charles. He’s glad. He knows, rationally, that you were just unlucky, but the irrational and protective side of him is screaming at him to place the blame at someone’s feet. He knows you wouldn’t appreciate him blowing up at your team, though, so he doesn’t say anything to them and keeps vigil by your side as the doctors poke and prod.

Eventually you’re carefully placed in a hospital bed and Charles is pulled aside by what seems to be the main doctor assigned to you.

“Unfortunately, it seems as if we will have to operate on Ms. L/N,” he says gently. “Someone else will go over the details with you, but long story short she’s bleeding internally and it’s imperative that we get to it as soon as possible. Of course, any operation of this size could potentially be dangerous, but I strongly recommend taking action sooner rather than later.”

Charles shakes his head, the words not yet registering in his scattered mind. “Is she going to be okay?” he mumbles, not meeting the doctor’s eyes.

He can feel the doctor’s pitying gaze on him and Charles doesn’t have it in him to tell him that he’s been here before — not this specific hospital, no, but he’s been on this side of the conversation that they’re having already, and it tears his heart up just as much as the first time. The only difference this time is that he’s the one who has to make the choice, not anyone else.

“We can’t make any guarantees,” the doctor cautions, “but it would significantly raise her chances of survival if we act now.”

Charles winces at the doctor’s words. Survival. Drive to survive, surviving to drive, the irony of the situation isn’t lost on him. He uncurls his fingers gingerly from where he had been unconsciously gripping his pants. 

He wants to avoid the decisions he knows he will have to make in the next twenty-four hours. He wants to pretend that nothing happened, that you’re still on the track, passing everyone in your way. He wants to go back to this morning, when he had kissed you goodbye before jogging off to get ready for the race. He wishes he had taken time to do more than peck you and throw a “love you!” over his shoulder. Charles wants to hide from the cold, stark reality he’s faced with. Your life lies in his hands and Charles is so, so tired of bleak hospital hallways.

He wants to scream at the heavens. He’s suffered and given so much already. Is one shred of happiness too much to ask? Charles had known the risks going in when he started dating you — one Formula 1 driver was usually more than enough jeopardy in a relationship, let alone two — but he’d never really thought that the day would arrive where he would have to make decisions about you, without you. 

Charles stares at your face through the window to your room, tracing the curves and slopes with his eyes. It’s the face he wakes up next to almost every day and he curses himself for not cherishing the time he’s already had with you more. His brain is moving a mile a minute, running through all the possible outcomes. At the end of the day, though, he’s only got one choice.

Charles Leclerc has always been selfish and he’ll be damned if he lets another person he loves slip through his fingers.

“Where do I sign?”

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora

[astonmartinii]

HI! Hope you are well! I have no clue if you are taking requests or not, but if you are, could you maybe do a smau with carlos sainz x ferrari!reader? Where the reader is part of the ferrari family, and when her father passes away, she will take on the company? And like, all of the tifosi love her loads, bcs she's just lovely to them all no matter what, and they see carlos slowly 'fall in love' with her then soft launch their relationship, and it turns out they had been dating for ages? If you can, ty!!

are you going to be my girl? | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x fem ferrari!reader

it's not a HR violation if you were dating before she became your boss and it's not nepotism if it's her company.

yournameferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 872,309 others

yournameferrari: first race weekend, let's go girls 🏁

view all comments

user1: i am SCARED i am weirdly optimistic 🤔

user2: i have faith, the article about her and the whole new team... she's cooking

carlossainz55: excited to take her out for a spin

yournameferrari: lets keep all the spinning for the doughnuts at the end of the season please

carlossainz55: i'll try my best, no promises though

yournameferrari: okay stop commenting on my post and get ready to drive, you're wearing my name

carlossainz55: let me know when you want to wear mine

user3: yall it's not even been one race and carlos is flirting with his boss, they weren't lying f1 drivers really are fearless

sebastianvettel: feels like just the other day when you first visted the garage, you'll smash it!

yournameferrari: thanks seb! can't wait to see you again, give hanna and the kids my love

user4: i love that she's 23 but literally talks like a grandma

user5: the stress of ferrari does tend to age a person

charles_leclerc: forza ferrari ❤️ we'll make you proud

yournameferrari: i have all the faith in the world in you boys

user6: a ferarri owner who actually publicly supports the drivers? i've prayed for times like this

user7: ahhh i met her this weekend and she really loves the tifosi like she spent so long with us and signed as much as she could

carlossainz55

liked by yournameferrari, landonorris and 893,209 others

carlossainz55: great weekend all round, happy to be back on the podium - thank you to y/n and all the team for building us a car we can win in !!

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user9: don't shoot me but did we all see the way carlos was looking at y/n on the podium

user10: bestie i hate to tell you but there was like 100 ferrari workers at that podium he could've been looking at literally any of them

yournameferrari: you boys made the ferrari name proud this weekend ❤️

carlossainz55: couldn't have done it without you and the team

yournameferrari: you're too kind, take pride in your own achievements

carlossainz55: only if you celebrate with me

user11: are we witnessing the smooth operator in real time?

user12: it's like seeing a unicorn in the woods

landonorris: congrats chilli 🌶️ are we all celebrating or is it just you two?

carlossainz55: all of us? why wouldn't it be everyone?

landonorris: no reason ....

user13: maybe it's because carlos' eyes pop out of his head like a looney tunes whenever he's around y/n ferrari

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc

carlossainz55: you realise i get the notifications when you guys like comments, right?

landonorris: well my PR team wouldn't like it if i commented it myself

carlossainz55: i wonder if there is a reason for that 🤔

user14: carlando domestics in the comment section we are so back

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 803,451 others

tagged: yournameferrari

scuderiaferrari: no race this weekend? we'll give you a #️⃣ asky/n to give you your ferrari content this weekend!

view all comments

user15: what is your favourite race?

yournameferrari: besides the obvious choices of imola and monza, i really enjoy suzuka and spa !

user16: who is a driver you would've loved to have managed?

yournameferrari: the obvious answer is michael schumacher, but i also would've loved to work with seb and kimi and jean alesi!

user17: how do you feel about taking over ferrari so young?

yournameferrari: it's definitely daunting, especially when no one really knew i existed. i was scared when it came to the staff overhaul as they had been there for so long and i was scared that it would massively backfire, but so far so good.

user18: tbf it's been a long time coming

user19: what would you do if you weren't owning ferrari?

yournameferrari: to be honest, ferrari and motorsport is all i have ever known, but, i also enjoy most other sports like football, ice skating and golf. but outside of sport i would've loved to pursue writing, i love poetry and essays!

user20: GOLF? cue carlos sainz in 3...2...1

carlossainz55: let's go for a round after my next sim session ⛳️

yournameferrari: only if you're ready to lose

user21: i am having ... feelings about this pairing

user22: how do you feel about charles' music?

yournameferrari: i always think it is good to have another passion, especially with how all-consuming formula one can become. i personally love charles' music and will often put it on when i do yoga or read (though my favourite is AUS23)

charles_leclerc: thank you y/n !!!

user23: is this *rubs eyes* an owner with a good relationship with the drivers???

f1gossipgirl

liked by user28, user29 and 4,130 others

tagged: yournameferrari, pierregasly

f1gossipgirl: AWKWARD MOMENT ALERT 🚨 y/n ferrari had harsh word for pierre gasly when they crossed paths in the paddock. gasly, whose dangerous driving put carlos sainz in the medical centre, seemed shocked that ferrari would have a problem with him. sources in the paddock said that ferrari admonished the frenchman, "you have a lot of gall in the media gasly, everyone saw how dangerous that was, you can't blame your own shortcomings on alpha tauri or adrian newey now. keep your car away from my drivers or we'll have a real problem." oop. allegedly gasly only replied with a wink and a "anything for you sweetheart" which caused y/n to storm off and knock his shoulder on the way past. who is in the right?

view all comments

user30: THAT'S MY OWNER RIGHT THERE

user31: y/n owned gasly

user32: not only was he dangerous on track he's also super disrespectful off, y/n is expressing her concerns over her driver who could've been seriously injured and he just flirts with her ???

user33: pierre is super in the wrong here but also it's so refreshing to see someone in management actually have the drivers back

user34: gone were the days of begging ferrari to even appeal penalties

user35: my friend was in the paddock and apparently vasseur had to hold sainz back after he was told about what pierre had done

user36: the way he's more mad that pierre disrespected y/n than nearly killing him

user37: idk why she's getting involved, no need to talk to the drivers like that, you're the owner, know your place

liked by pierregasly

user38: something insidious about the man liking a comment telling a woman to know her place 🤨

user39: he acts the victim in every situation and yet HE is the common denominator

user40: after ^^^ this whole mess i need carlos to scrap pierre

user41: i feel like he actually would that man is in love with y/n lol

yournameferrari

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 903,451 others

yournameferrari: happy summer break everyone !! going into the break leading the constructor's championship lead is amazing but we aim to finish the season with both trophies back in maranello. see you in zandvoort x

view all comments

user42: A MAN?

user43: i was delusional to think that a young successful and smart woman wasn't cuffed :(

sebastianvettel: are you still planning to swing by switzerland?

yournameferrari: we'll be there!

this comment was deleted

yournameferrari: i'll be there!

user44: girl we saw that

user45: the way she posts her soft launch but deletes a comment that says she might bring him to visit seb?

user46: visiting seb is a big deal tbf

user47: the way carlos HAS to have her notifications on mans was here after 30 seconds

user48: has better reaction time for y/n's instagram post than a race start 😭

carlossainz55: working on my swing, ready for our round of golf

yournameferrari: get ready to be humbled

carlossainz55: if you're as pro as you say i may have to upgrade us to crazy golf

yournameferrari: as long as i get the red ball

carlossainz55: deal

user49: are we FLIRTING 👀 ???????

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 703,458 others

tagged: yournameferrari

carlossainz55: took a break from swimming to get my ass whooped by my boss on the golf course

view all comments

user50: oh the fit - Y/N CAME TO PLAY

landonorris: just how bad was the whopping? before i propose a paddock golf tournament

carlossainz55: she'll ruin the sport for you it's not fair

landonorris: you didn't put up any sort of fight?

carlossainz55: i TRIED but as soon as i saw the custom clubs i knew it was over

yournameferrari: i have a confession, i was literally on my college golf team, i had a lot of practice sorry x

carlossainz55: so you're basically a professional? that's comforting

yournameferrari: not really a professional but a very dedicated amateur

user51: babe you literally won the national championship at stanford stop playing with this man

yournameferrari: oops? 😬

user52: right, i don't mean to sound crazy, but i have a theory. the third pic looks very familiar to me, is it a lake in switzerland? the switzerland one SEBASTIAN VETTEL lives in and that y/n ferrari said she was going to visit this summer with someone?

user53: i fear you've made a point

user54: as much as they'd be literally the hottest couple in the world ... is it not a bit weird for carlos to date his boss? like... also what does this mean for potential favouritism?

user55: i get those concerns but we've already seen this season that decisions have been made both ways. unlike the binotto era ferrari actually are making the two first drivers thing work

user56: based on what y/n has said in the past i don't think she'd favour carlos because of a relationship, i think she's too ruthless to potentially sacrifice points to benefit her potential boyfriend

f1

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 1,239,861 others

tagged: carlossainz55

f1: the smooth operator is back to winning ways with his win under the singapore lights. it was a double podium for ferrari and a DNF for sergio perez means that ferrari are constructors champions once again!

view all comments

user60: Y/N FERRARI THE WOMAN YOU ARE AND HOLY SHIT HER AND CARLOS KISSING DID SOMETHING TO ME

user61: we really went from xavi and not having any tyres to proper professionals and the WCC trust the WDC will be coming back home soon

carlossainz55: tifosi, we'll get the big one next year ❤️

user62: CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPIONS AND YOU BAGGED Y/N FERRARI U WON AT LIFE

landonorris: so you made me find out with everyone else? i see how it is

carlossainz55: sorry landito, didn't intend for anyone to find out just yet but i guess i got a little carried away..

yournameferrari: a little?

carlossainz55: sorry but i've been good all year and finally got the win and the championship i couldn't help myself (you also looked so good sorry)

yournameferrari: i guess i can give you that (you're also very sexy post-race)

charles_leclerc: well i for one am super happy that i never opened the door when i heard a suspicious sound coming from y/n's office

yournameferrari: omg delete please i stubbed my toe i swear !!!!

charles_leclerc: no one is believing that i'm sorry

carlossainz55: we've never done anything untoward on ferrari property

landonorris: untoward? who are you?

carlossainz55: my gf is super duper college educated and it's rubbing off on me

landonorris: AHAHAHA RUBBING OFF

yournameferrari: 🤨

landonorris: sorry.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 1,034,510 others

tagged: yournameferrari

carlossainz55: suprise ! i guess it wasn't to be just ours forever, but i love you y/n and will give everything to you and your name x

view all comments

user62: boyfriend in the first slide and girlfriend in the others he's so real

yournameferrari: i know this secret was hard for you to keep so i'm proud of you regardless, i love you 🫶

carlossainz55: honestly any time anyone in the paddock flirted with you i thought i would explode

yournameferrari: i've seen your dm requests, spare me

carlossainz55: but now they know, i can unleash all of my pictures of you and i can flex on everyone

user63: dream threesome list just got a new update

landonorris: first slide for me i know that's right

carlossainz55: i am forgiven for not telling you about my relationship? the two years were tough

landonorris: TWO YEARS?

carlossainz55: your tone sounds kinda off

landonorris: you can shove your first slide up your ass 👍 TWO YEARS?????

carlossainz55: tbf i couldn't really announce to the world that i was dating the woman who would someday become the owner of my team

landonorris: give me three business days and i'll be okay

scuderiaferrari: parents ❤️

charles_leclerc: happy for you guys but never ask me to take pictures of you again x

yournameferrari: you did such a good job though!

charles_leclerc: unless i see a photographer bonus in my contract i will not be third wheeling for free

yournameferrari: noted (you're not getting the bonus)

charles_leclerc: it was worth the try

yournameferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1,035,556 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yournameferrari: what a crazy first season. i am unbelievably proud of the boys and the team, we'll bring both championships back to maranello next season ❤️

view all comments

user64: she is everything i want to be

user65: tbf after last season i never thought we would win a race this season and her overhaul and ruthlessness has actually changed the game. also her and carlos are super cute

carlossainz55: i love you and thank you for our season. here's to the best winter break with you

yournameferrari: finally you can spend christmas the ferrari way

user66: how do we also get an invite to this christmas.. do you have any brothers? cousins? uncles?

carlossainz55: you're so so so beautiful, pretty, bewitching, ravishing, stunning and irresistible

yournameferrari: i love you too handsome

carlossainz55: can you also humble my dad at golf please and thank you

yournameferrari: we'll go doubles for the sainz golf tournament and have NO MERCY

user67: someone tell y/n the season is over and that she doesn't need to ruin sainz snr's christmas on the golf course

yournameferrari: the ferrari name never rests sorry not sorry

user68: yeah yeah the constructor championship finally came back to ferrari but this relationship is the real win from this season

user69: carlos finally found someone as old money as him

user70: and is actually old money, babes has that ferrari money

carlossainz55: i can retire early and be the house husband

yournameferrari: you will not retire early i expect you to be kicking it in that car until you're at least alonso's age

carlossainz55: but after that i can be the house husband a HAB?

yournameferrari: to your hearts content :) no one prettier i'd want on my arm x

note: hope you enjoyed i was BATTLING the writers block on this one lol. but i hope this is what you were looking for

[81folklore]

dress - VETTEL

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: i have had this idea on my mind for SO LONG so im very pleased to finally be writing it. essentially in this, yn is taylor and seb is joe but no one has ever seen him nor know his name, if that makes sense? honestly i have no clue how this will turn out but i needed to write it

authors note 2: this is set in the midnights era however i switched the songs a bit so ‘dress’ is on midnights instead of ‘sweet nothing’ and vice versa!! also ‘dress’ is going to be a single. i also apologize for how all over the place this is, especially the tweets

authors note 3: just pretend whatever says taylor swift says your name and the photos with her hands have a wedding ring!! i also got so confused when trying to screenshot the twitter stuff so the timeline ones are backwards

authors note 4??: haha didnt realise there was a 30 pic limit... pt 2 here :)

masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user3, user18 and 10,628 others

yn on her story today, possibly posting song lyrics! thoughts?

view comments

user3: NEW ERA INCOMING

user18: OH I AM SO READY FOR THIS

user13: NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

user66: is this hinting at her reputation era?

user13: i was just thinking this, more specifically the time just before reputation

user72: MUSIC ABOUT LOVER?? OH I AM SO HERE FOR IT

user55: if it is about lover and the time before reputation this will BREAK ME like,, HE SAW THE BEST IN HER EVEN IN HER WORST TIMES😭😭

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, ynupdates, olliebearman and 7,277,739 others

everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…

this album has been such a rewarding piece to create and im so glad that soon enough you will all be able to listen and enjoy it with me! one thing i love in particular about this album is the song ‘dress’

dress was originally a piece i started to write when making reputation however i felt it was right to keep it to myself, to keep it between my partner and i for a little while longer. however recently our lives have been changing for the better, and while that lid of privacy will still be on, i want to share more with you guys

you have all been on this journey with me and you have treated my partner and i with the upmost respect and for that i thank you. for me dress is a letter, its statement, its a declaration of my love for him and im very grateful to be able to give this to you all

this song is one im very proud of, i really enjoyed writing this the first time, and getting to revist and polish it up felt very special to do.

dress out now on all platforms🖤

comments on this post have been limited

sebupdates

liked by user34, user5, user88 and 23,683 others

seb in suzuka with the grid at his turn 2 bee (insect) hotels,, we've missed seeing him at the track :(

view comments

user3: of course the grid come together for him :’)

user5: im not crying!! just hay fever!!

user5: oh i have missed him SO MUCH

user7: NO BECAUSE YOU DONT GET IT HES BACK

user88: DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VIDEO OF HIM HUGGING CHARLES😭😭

user34: the way he was like a teacher throughout the whole thing😭

user18: does anyone know if hes staying the whole weekend or is it like monaco??

sebupdates: we believe hes staying the whole weekend but unsure if hes with a team or not!

user18: ok thank you :)

user77: the way the first thing lewis asked him was if his wife was okay, oh what if i cry😭😭

user66: im kind of new here, have the grid met sebs wife?

user77: i know they all at least know about her and know who she is, i dont think everyone has met her but i know lewis has met her quite a bit!!

part 2!

[nonstoplover]

all of my heart ~ carlos sainz (cs55)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader

summary: a short story of carlos becoming a father

words: 2K

warnings: one tiny swear word in spanish ig, otherwise nothing, just fluff fluff fluff and dad!carlos which deserves its own warning tbh

a/n: i know you love the dad!driver trope, @vetteltea, which is why i dedicate this blurb to you (though i think you'd maybe prefer this to be with seb now that i think about it), as a thank you for all the amazing fanfic you provide this fandom with. i love you so much, you're so talented, so inspiring, and i truly wish to be like you. <33

please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!

Carlos is still a little out of breath when he hears it for the first time.

A delayed red-eye flight and an excruciating traffic jam caused him to almost miss this appointment. The first he finally has the chance to attend – having had a race when the initial one happened –, and he almost missed it.

As a drop of sweat rolls down the side of his face, obvious sign of how only seconds ago he was still running up the stairs of the hospital, a smile forms on his lips. Looking at her, lying down, the screen beside the bed showing a picture of their baby.

Well, at least they say it's that. For the love of God, Carlos can't see anything on it. He still nods along with a wide smile when the nurse asks him if he sees it. The focus shouldn't be on him and whether he can see it or not, but on his girlfriend.

God, this woman. He hasn't seen her in over a month now. And this is how they meet again: when they meet the little one officially as well, though on a screen only. Hell, the last time he saw her, they had no clue of this wonderful piece of news. From watching her wave with a smile through the glass at the airport, before he turned a corner towards his flight and disappeared, fast forward to now, when he catches sight of her lying form, just as gorgeous as ever, if not more, with a baby growing inside her. A creation by him and her.

They're gonna have a child, Carlos thinks, and as if it's the first time he realises this, his heart stops for a second. In happiness, in awe, in fear.

Because as the image on the screen gets displayed, and Carlos gets lost in-between words like embryo and transvaginal scan, suddenly the doctor announces that the baby indeed has a heartbeat, listen, you can hear it. And this one sentence, followed by the almost inaudible little thuds, is enough to make everything feel real.

Of course, he already knew what the positive pregnancy test meant, the one she showed him first on a FaceTime call, then sent as a separate picture later. But this, hearing that tiny heartbeat, it made everything even more real. They had actual proof now of what is going to happen in the near future. It might not have been planned, but it doesn't make it any less sweeter.

With his heart beating away in a rapid rhythm, he feels his facial muscles pull as his lips curve into a smile, so wide that it even showcases his pearly white teeth.

When he sees her the next time, the first thing Carlos does is place his palm against her tummy. The bump is already visible – well not in the hoodie she's currently wearing, but it's there underneath, he knows –, and he's been dreaming about holding it for many, many days now.

She lets out a giggle, throwing her head back a little, having expected a kiss upon her arrival, not this. Carlos practically doesn't pay her any attention, his sole focus is on talking with his baby.

Later on in the car she inquires jokingly the reason behind why she's not the first to be greeted by him, and he explains with a serious tone why that's the priority. "You get all this time to speak to her and bond with her, and she's already inside you which is a bonus, but she has to know exactly who her father is."

"She, huh?" she raises a teasing eyebrow, and he simply smiles, shrugging in a nonchalant way.

"I can feel it in my bones."

He looks so self-assured that she can't help but lean in and press her lips against his cheek. She still can't believe she'll get to have a kid with this man.

Doubt starts rising in his mind when they reach the third trimester. The date underlined in bright red in his calendar creeping closer and closer, making him more self-conscious and unsure than he's ever felt.

What if he won't be a good father? What if his job gets in the way of his child really feeling close to him? What is he supposed to do anyway? He already has no idea what he's doing in this whole pregnancy, safe to say, how is it going to be when he finally gets to hold the baby as well?

He's read multiple long articles, spending every flight he's had to take nose deep in his phone, until his eyes hurt and words started to lose their meaning. He wants to be the best father he can be.

This even includes several calls to his parents, asking for advice from them as well, trusting and valuing their words far more than the ones he can find online. He knows that his parents proved already that their methods work, they've been good parents to him and his siblings.

Still, the only thing that seems to reassure him is that they – the baby and him – have her. His superwoman of a girlfriend, who simply seems like she was actually born to do this, to be a mother, taking every obstacle in their way with a cheerful step and a smile reaching from ear to ear on her face.

How did he deserve her?

As he's gritting his teeth to stop himself from letting out a groan while the pain he's feeling in his hand spreads – mierda, this woman is strong – he repeats one sentence as a mantra. Only to keep him from worrying his heart out for the love of his life, who's currently letting out loud gasps and occasional curses, her eyes teary and her cheeks red from the strain of pushing and pushing and pushing.

I hope the baby looks like her.

Why is this so important to him? He has no idea. He doesn't even know why the thought popped into his mind in the first place. He just knows he has to keep on repeating it to divert his mind, otherwise he'll lose his sanity.

Simply, he has to focus on picturing a baby with her eyes, her hair colour, the elegant line of her nose, the curve of her lips, her rosy cheeks. Every inch of their baby looking like a mini-her. Because what would be better than looking at his girlfriend and marvel at her beauty? Of course, looking at her and his daughter, and seeing the exact same beauty? Sure, it would be nice to have a tiny detail of him in their baby girl somewhere, just so that it would be obvious to the whole wide world that this is his baby, that the woman giving birth to her now is his woman. Maybe the exact copy of his eye colour? Or his locks of hair, silky and thick? It doesn't matter. Honestly, who cares about how she looks, he will love her no matter what. With his whole heart, with more love, a deeper connection than he's ever felt before.

Minutes pass, then some more, until it feels like an eternity has gone by since they arrived to the hospital. But then he hears it – crying. The unmistakable baby sound, entering the haze of his mind like a sharp knife, bringing him back to reality in a millisecond.

Everything seems to quicken up, and the next thing he knows is that the bundle of his child is placed in his arms, and after that initial wave of slightly terrified chills running through his body, immediately a mixture of relief, joy and tranquility spreads in his veins. He has no idea why he was so scared this whole time. This is... subconscious. Instinctive. Meant to be.

In that very moment he wordlessly promises the baby to always be there for her, always looking out for her, always caring and loving her with all of his heart. He won't let any harm ever reach her.

"Congratulations, Mr. Sainz, on the birth of your son," the doctor approaches him, and that last word bursts the bubble Carlos has been surrounded with.

Son?

His eyes widen, lips fall slightly open in shock – right until he hears the exhausted sounding but unmistakable giggle coming from the bed. "I told you," she grins.

"A boy," he mumbles dreamily, glancing at his girlfriend, lips curving into a smile matching hers.

"Good thing I came prepared with boy names as well," she continues, slight pants leaving her lungs still.

The memory when she practically wanted to force him into choosing a male name as well, just in case – because he was so sure about their baby being a girl that he didn't even want to spend a moment thinking about names for the other sex –, pops into his mind, and he shakes his head. He was wrong.

Tiny feet patter on the floor, growing louder and louder, before a second later they suddenly cease and get replaced by a high-pitched giggle.

She glances up just as Carlos appears in the doorway to the kitchen, their son hanging from his arms, his little cheeks red from all the laughter. Her heart swells at the sight and sounds, her eyes shine bright, connecting with his easily – the love of her life.

Miracle. That's what the little boy is in their lives.

Watching Carlos be a father has been the best thing she's ever had the chance to witness. The way he plays with him, practically going back to being a child, his sole focus being on entertaining his son.

The Sainz household they established not too long ago is filled with laughter every day, the walls reverberating with the joyous sounds until they fill their hearts.

"When's dinner ready, mi amor?" Carlos leans in, pressing a loving kiss on her temple.

She cheerfully smiles, her fingers moving to caress the impossibly soft, dark brown hair on the little boy's head. "A few minutes," she replies, catching her fiancé's eyes once more. "If you two help me set the table, we can eat sooner."

Her son nods eagerly, as much as his three-year-old energy allows, and waves his tiny arms to wordlessly tell his father to put him down on the ground. Carlos obeys, then opens the cupboard to find the appropriate plates – all plastic, reserved for the times when it's only the three of them eating, to allow the young one to help them without the worry of him breaking anything.

She watches from the corner of her eyes as her two boys move towards the dining table, where Carlos lifts their son to stand on a chair, this way allowing him to reach the tabletop. His hands never leave the boy's waist, just in case, and when he's finished setting the plates, helps him back on the ground.

"Good job, chiquito," Carlos holds his palm out at the proper height.

"Gracias, papá," the little one slaps into his father's hand eagerly, making his mother smile so wide it's close to actually hurt the muscles in her cheeks.

They walk back to the kitchen counter with proud looks on their faces, and she places the bowl of salad in Carlos' hands. "It's too heavy for you, pumpkin," she explains when her son opens his mouth to complain.

"Te adoro," Carlos steals a melting kiss from her lips as his fingers get a hold of the bowl, before leaning back and fully taking it from her. I adore you.

With her heart fluttering with nothing but pure happiness and blood rushing to her face, she enjoys the way that bashful smile forms on her lips that only he can achieve. Her gaze follows his movements, the way the T-shirt clings to his arms, to his back muscles, and how the soft material ripples with every move he makes. He is breathtaking. He truly is, because unawares, she lets out a soft gasp watching him and has to endure the knowing glance and that smirk he casts her way above his shoulder. He knows her too well.

She shakes her head, attention going back to her son still standing by her feet, patiently waiting for his next task. A perfect mini-him, way more than she could've ever asked for.

A perfect child, a perfect man to call the love of her life, a perfect life. And it's all hers.

a/n: i'm back baby!! i've been gone for the longest time ever (since last summer) but i'm in my final year of uni and i had to write my thesis too so hopefully that's a good enough excuse. writer's block ain't fun still. it really just feels nice to post something again.

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

[pretzel-box]

OMG THE LITTLE DRABBLE YOU WRITE FOR SEBASTIAN WHERE READER ACCIDENTALLY GAVE HIM A LOVE NOTE INSTEAD OF THE FILES HE WANTED WAS SO GOOD!! can you please try to recreate it as a fanfic ? Love your writing btw :3 (also can it please be fem!reader?)

Tags: Established Relationship [Marriage], Fluff, Comfort, Motivational Notes

Words: 1k

Sebastian spends most of his precious time reading files, listening to annoying human visitors and scavenging. The last name was something he enjoyed since it was so simple and relaxing.

On this particular scavenging run, things were different. He hadn’t come across anything remarkable for a while, letting him feel a wave of frustration run over him, but then, tucked away in an old storage room, he found a file cabinet half-buried under debris. It was unlocked, and inside were files, all marked as unimportant or abandoned.

He hesitated for a second, figuring it was nothing more than outdated reports or useless data. But something compelled him to grab a few of the folders and stash them in his pack. Who knows? Maybe he could find some clues about the facility’s history, or something he could use against Urbanshade.

After the long trek back to his shop, Sebastian settled in, tossing his gear aside and grabbing a drink before collapsing at his cluttered desk. He didn’t bother with the files at first, instead leaning back, glancing at the framed photo on his desk.

It was of you, standing by his side, beaming that radiant smile of yours. He traced a finger gently over the frame with a small, rare smile tugging at his lips. The two of you had been through hell together, but despite everything, here you were—still by his side, still the one constant in his life.

Sighing, he leaned forward, flipping open the first folder from the stack he’d brought back. But instead of the usual boring documents he expected, he found something else—a small, folded note.

"Seb, I know you're probably frustrated right now, but I just want you to know how much I love you. You’re stronger than you think, and you’ll get through whatever this is. Remember that, okay?"

Sebastian blinked, caught off guard. He stared at the note for a moment, his fingers brushing over the paper as a warmth spread through his chest. He recognized the handwriting instantly—it was yours. But what was it doing here?

He reached for the next file, flipping it open with more curiosity this time. Inside, he found another note:

"When you feel like the world is crashing down on you, remember that you’re the one who holds us together. You’ve always been my hero, and you always will be."

A chuckle escaped his lips as he read the words, shaking his head in disbelief. What were these doing here? He sifted through more of the files, each one containing more of the same—small, handwritten notes from you, each one filled with love, encouragement, and sweet little reminders of how much you believed in him.

"I know you’re tired, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Drink some water, take a break. I’ll be here waiting for you when you’re ready to come home."

“You mean everything to me, Sebastian. Don’t ever forget that. Even on the days you feel lost, I’m right here beside you."

His heart swelled with every note he found, the exhaustion from the day’s work slowly melting away. He could practically hear your voice in his head, soft and comforting, as if you were sitting right next to him.

He laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief. Of course you’d do something like this. You always knew how to surprise him, even in the smallest ways. He could imagine you sneaking these notes into various places around the Blacksite, knowing full well that one day he’d find them. You were always thinking ahead, always finding ways to make him smile, even when he didn’t think he had the energy for it.

Sebastian leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. He couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, a little less burdened.

Grinning, he stood up and moved to the back of his shop, grabbing two mugs and setting them on some boxes that served as tables. He heard the soft patter of your feet as you came down the ladder that led to the small loft in his shop where you usually rested, and soon enough, there you were, walking into the room, rubbing your eyes from a nap you’d taken.

“Hey,” you said, smiling as you stretched your arms over your head, an action that he always loved to see you did it. “What’s with the grin?”

Sebastian just shook his head, watching you with a fondness he rarely showed anyone else. “I found your little scavenger hunt,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

You blinked, confused for a moment before realization dawned on your face. “Oh, you found them?” you asked, a playful glint in your eye. “Took you long enough.”

He walked over, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close, his forehead resting gently against yours. “You know,” he said softly, his voice full of affection, “you’re a pain in the ass sometimes.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. His body was cold as always, making you feel cooled down but his actions had a comforting warmth to it as if a weighted blanket was laid upon you. “Yeah, but you love me for it.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I really do.”

The two of you stood there for a while, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the world feeling a little less heavy in that moment. Eventually, you pulled away, glancing over at the files scattered on the table.

“So,” you teased, “how many did you find?”

“Enough to remind me I married a complete sap,” he replied with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, leaning up to kiss him, your lips meeting him and you could feel him lean closer. “Well, someone’s gotta keep you from brooding all the time.”

Sebastian chuckled, his arms tightening around you. “Guess I’m stuck with you then, huh?”

You smiled, resting your head on his chest. “Yeah,” you said softly. “You’re stuck with me.”

And for once, Sebastian didn’t mind being stuck at all.

[faithshouseofchaos]

Hello! Hope you're having a good day! ☀️

I saw that your requests were open (Hope I got the time right...) and I wanted to request a Kimi Raikkönen one-shot during the time where he and Sebastian were still in Ferrari, for plot reasons.

So, imagine this: You're one of the beloved drivers on the grid – who is close to the Ferrari duo – known for their love of nature, especially flowers.

One day flowers kept appearing in your locker room (?) and it kept going for months. At the end of every race when you went to change there were different flowers but no info about the sender. Naturally, you suspected Sebastian because that man is mother nature himself. After learning he's not the culprit you try to find out who's been sending you flowers. (Spoiler Alert: It's the Ice Man himself.)

Sorry if the ask was long... Have a good day and remember to drink water! ☀️

I need me an ice man also I’m sorry this took forever to write literally forever like since June forever 😭😭

A Silent Bloom — Kimi Raikkonen x fem!reader

Word count — 675

Fluff

The soft fragrance of freesia lingered in your office, mingling with the faint smell of coffee and grease from the garage. You studied the bouquet in front of you—an artful arrangement of freesia, sweet peas, and delicate eucalyptus leaves. It was stunning, like all the others that had appeared after races for the past few months.

This one was no different: no note, no clue, just flowers left in places only someone close to you could access.

At first, you thought it was a mistake—some mix-up with deliveries—but as the bouquets kept appearing, you couldn’t ignore the growing mystery. Someone was sending these flowers on purpose, and they clearly knew about your deep love for nature.

The grid wasn’t short of suspects, but your first and most obvious guess had been Sebastian Vettel. Who else had such a deep appreciation for the environment?

“Seb, I know it’s you,” you said confidently one evening in the paddock.

Seb, in the middle of peeling an orange, looked up in surprise. “What’s me?”

“The flowers,” you said, crossing your arms. “I keep finding them in my office and locker after races. You’re the eco-warrior; it has to be you.”

He blinked at you, then smiled, shaking his head. “I’d love to take credit, but it’s not me,” he said, popping a slice of orange into his mouth. “Though, whoever it is has great taste. Very thoughtful.”

You narrowed your eyes, unconvinced. “Seb, don’t lie.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “I swear on all the bees in the world, it’s not me.”

That should have been the end of it, but of course, he couldn’t resist teasing you about your “secret admirer” for the rest of the weekend.

If it wasn’t Seb, though, who else could it be?

Your next suspect was Fernando Alonso. After all, Fernando had been known to stop and smell flowers during track walks, and he had a certain flair for surprising people.

During the Canadian Grand Prix weekend, you decided to confront him. As you approached, Fernando was casually leaning against a wall, scrolling on his phone.

“Hey, Nando,” you said, trying to sound casual.

He looked up, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I need to ask you something.” You hesitated, then dove in. “Are you the one leaving flowers in my office and locker?”

For a moment, he just stared at you, then his lips twitched into a smirk. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you like flowers,” you said bluntly. “And you have a weird way of surprising people.”

He let out a low laugh. “I like flowers, sí, but I don’t sneak into lockers like some secret admirer. Maybe it’s someone who doesn’t know how to talk to you.”

That thought stayed with you, even after Fernando walked away chuckling.

The answer came at the Silverstone Grand Prix.

It had been a grueling weekend, with a tough battle for points leaving you mentally and physically drained. When you opened your locker to change, you found a new bouquet waiting for you—this time, tulips and white roses. A small piece of folded paper sat between the flowers.

Your breath caught as you picked up the note, unfolding it with shaky hands.

“Nature deserves to be appreciated. So do you. – Kimi”

Kimi? The Ice Man?

You stared at the flowers, your mind reeling. Kimi wasn’t exactly known for grand gestures—or any gestures, for that matter. Yet here he was, revealing himself as the mysterious sender who had brightened your post-race weekends for months.

You found him later that evening in the quiet of the motorhome area. “Kimi,” you said, holding the note and bouquet.

He didn’t even look surprised. “You found the note.”

“Why?” you asked, struggling to understand.

“You like flowers,” he said simply, his tone as steady and unreadable as ever. “It made sense.”

“That’s it?”

He met your eyes then, something softer in his gaze. “You look happy when you see them. That’s enough.”

For a man of so few words, he somehow managed to leave you utterly speechless.

[writing-intheundercroft]

Bite The Hand

AO3 Link

Pairing: Auror!Sebastian x F!MC

Word Count: 7,717

Rating: E (Smut, MDNI - M!Masturbation, M!Receiving Oral Sex)

Summary: Sebastian Sallow bites the hand that feeds him. Or, the years spent between your break up and the events of The Night Shift.

A/N: Auror!Seb took a vacation in my mind, and I never meant to let him relax this long. So, here's an excruciating prologue I've been writing over the past few months for him. If you have not yet, I highly recommend reading The Night Shift before this, which was one of my first one shots!

Sebastian sits on the old stone fence lining the exterior of Feldcroft; he swirls the beer bottle in his hand before lifting it to his lips, taking a thick swig.  His eyes are red, and he’s far too drunk, but it doesn’t matter–the pictures have been taken, and no one at the party is missing him too much.  Perhaps Anne, but she’s far too busy entertaining everyone in her white dress to separate herself from her new husband’s arm.  Ominis looks positively dashing, proudly swaying with Anne in his arms.  Sebastian has known since they were twelve they’d probably end up married someday, and he’s happy to see them together.  

After delivering a proud speech to honor his sister and twirling her on the dance floor, he indulges a bit too much in the bar Garreth Weasley has put together for the event, downing bottle after bottle of the ginger’s experimental enhanced ale. Choosing to peruse the gift table over dancing in the hamlet square, Sebastian begins appraising the parcels.  He’s shaking each box, trying to guess what gifts might be inside, when his eyes land on a neatly wrapped box.  There’s a lovely velvet bow affixed to the top, and the note seems to call his name.  He tears the tag away, eyes roving over the familiar handwriting. Gripping the beer bottle in his free hand, he stumbles through the field to find some privacy. 

Sebastian holds the gift tag, the rough pad of his finger swiping over the swirly cursive. It’s stupid, he thinks, to have thought you would have come.  Anne had warned him that she was sending you an invitation despite the distance you’d put between yourself and the friend group.  Sebastian had felt sick over it for weeks–either you’d arrive at Anne and Ominis’s wedding alone and he’d have to own up to his mistakes, or worse, you’d arrive, happy with a man on your arm.  

Happy and content, the two things Sebastian is pretending to be.

Sebastian loosens his white cravat, letting it fall into the mud below him.  He is happy, he thinks.  Sebastian Sallow knows he’s an absolute fucking catch. The department of magical law enforcement’s most eligible bachelor, people have said. He has several badges, praising his heroics as an auror.  He hasn’t unintentionally left the bar alone in months, something he’s bragged about with the lads.  Girlfriends are nothing but trouble, and he’s quite vocal about how glad he is that he wasn’t trapped into marriage at a young age.  That comment usually garnered him some laughs at the bar–it was less successful at a wedding, let alone the wedding of his best friend and twin sister, who were getting married at the youthful age of twenty one. 

Sebastian pulls the tag up to his eyes, squinting at it once more.  He’s searching it for any underlying clues, a note he’s missed. 

So sorry I couldn’t be there. Sending my love.

He scowls.  Sorry my arse, he repeats in his head. That's surely a lie–you’d never been sorry a day in your relationship, let alone at the end of it.  He probably shouldn’t be as bitter about your breakup after three years, but happy events like this only reinforce the overwhelming emptiness he feels when it comes to relationships.

Perhaps one should never date their best friend, he thinks.  The love lost from your break up has tainted most of his happy memories, and his stomach only ever churns when he thinks of you.

He has no idea if you’re even still in London, or if you decided to try out a stint in America or Spain, like you always dreamt of doing when you were teenagers. Sometimes he thinks he sees you on the streets of Diagon Alley.  A wisp of your hair, someone with the same nose.  He hears your laugh sometimes in the pub, but it’s not you. It’s never really you, but the thought, the hope, it stokes a fire. A fire that tells him he would fall to his knees if he ever saw you again, kiss your feet, apologize for having yelled, for thinking that a man would ever walk away from the person he loved because he felt threatened. It was the only time he’d ever lost faith in your relationship, wavering when a pretty girl batted her eyelashes at him in the bar.  After your fight, he’d gone to Ominis’s apartment for the evening to get some space, but found your shared flat empty in the morning.

He never lets the fire grow too big.  He’s spent the last three years dampening it with cheap booze, recklessness at work, and girls that never last more than a few weeks at a time.

With glassy eyes, Sebastian looks out to the empty fields. It wasn’t like he was actually planning on proposing–the two of you were just eighteen, after all.  But sitting in the front row, watching his best friend swear unyielding love to his twin sister, Sebastian found himself overcome with emotion.  Sure, you’d been too young then, but he’d always pictured you standing next to the vicar, wearing a pretty white dress.

He tries to think of that memory, but your face is coming up blank.  Perhaps he’s too drunk, or perhaps it’s been too long.

“Fuck!” Sebastian roars, throwing the beer bottle.  

He can hear it crash in the distance as his head falls into his hands. 

Sebastian hops off the fence, wobbling on his feet.  The music gets softer and softer as he puts distance between himself and the party; he’s in no mood, and he’s bound to ruin the wedding if he stays any longer.  Without another thought, he pulls his wand out of his pocket, apparating back home.

Sebastian doesn’t hear from Ominis or Anne for a few weeks; he assumes the happy couple are enjoying their honeymoon in Lisbon.  Ominis’s pretty little owl arrives at his window one day, a scrap of parchment requesting his presence at their home.

Sebastian excitedly replies, promising to be over on his next day off.  He wonders if they’ve gotten their wedding portraits back yet, or if they got any duplicate wedding gifts that might suit his bachelor pad.  He’s been needing a new frying pan, might as well steal their old one.

Sebastian cheerfully takes a handful of floo powder, clearly enunciating Anne and Ominis’s address as he drops the dust in the fireplace.  Green flames burst around him, and he opens his eyes to see Ominis’s mahogany paneled study.  The blonde is sitting at his desk, arms crossed over his chest.

“Sebastian,” Ominis has a cold look on his face.

“Morning, Om.” Sebastian grins. “Hell of a party. Wedding of the year, I’d wager.” He walks out of the fireplace, brushing soot off of his waistcoat. “How was the honeymoon?”

“It was lovely,” Ominis says nonchalantly. “Anne quite enjoyed the sun.”  he walks over to his best friend, carefully rolling up his sleeves.  Sebastian furrows his eyebrows as Ominis stows his wand in his pocket, moving his wedding ring from his left to his right.

Without another thought, Ominis pulls back, sucker punching him.

“What the fuck,” Sebastian spits, eyes watering as he rubs his jaw.

Ominis smoothly puts his wedding ring back on, crossing his arms. “That’s for ruining our wedding, you selfish dimwit.  Anne was beside herself for days because of you.”

Sebastian hears the door open; Anne, looking quite sunkissed and freckled, slips into the room. 

“Your husband just punched me!” Sebastian complains.

His twin sister shrugs, sitting on top of Ominis’s desk. “You deserved it.” she scoffs. “You invited not one, but two women to be your guest at our wedding, and then fucked off into a field to get drunk and left without saying goodbye.  Nearly thought the two would rip each other’s hair out on the dance floor when they realized your mistake.”

“I did not,” Sebastian retorts, crossing his arms.

“Anastasia and Alexandra,” Ominis sighs. “I think you owe both of them an apology, if they ever speak to you again.”

Sebastian’s face heats up as he puts the pieces together.  Well, now it made sense why Alexandra, the waitress at the Leaky Cauldron, had spilled his beer onto him and stalked off.  Even more so that Anastasia, one of the timekeepers for the auror office, had burst into tears when she saw him at work. She’d put in her two weeks notice, spitting on his shoes as she passed by with a box of her personal effects in hand.

“I think we’re going to laugh about this eventually,” Sebastian suggests. 

Ominis’s face twists with displeasure. “They tore Anne’s veil.”

“Okay, it’ll take a few years.” Sebastian sputters in response, nervously eyeing his twin sister.

Anne stands up, her hands balled up into fists at her side. “It wasn’t just my veil, Sebastian.” she seethes. “It was Mum’s veil–”

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “No,” he squeaks, utterly horrified.

Anne’s eyes were watering. “Mum’s veil,” she croaks. “Dug it out of storage, had it restored just for the wedding, and those women you invited destroyed it, fighting over you.  Meanwhile, you were out getting sloshed Merlin knows where, abandoning my wedding.”

Sebastian stares shamefully at his shoes while Anne paces back and forth, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor.  His shoulders bowled over, the brunette looks up at the couple.  He hates the way they pity him, but he hates it even more when they’re mad at him.  Not roll-their-eyes mad, but truly, deeply upset.

“You need to get yourself together, Sebastian.” Ominis barks. “I’ve absolutely had it with you and this obscene behavior.  The drinking, the whoring –”

“Alright, I wouldn’t call it whoring.” Sebastian furrows his eyebrows. “That’s a bit of a stretch–”

“New women, every week.” Ominis sounds even angrier than before. “All because you’re a bloody coward, running away from your feelings.  Gods, I used to wonder why she left, and now it all makes sense–"

Sebastian doesn’t even realize that he’s holding Ominis by the tie, pushing him against the dark wooden walls.  Anne is screeching at him, hitting him at the shoulders, while Ominis raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Struck a nerve, have I?” he asks coolly.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sebastian growls. “Don’t even go there.  Don’t say her name.”

“Everyone can see it, Sebastian.” Ominis shrugs. “It’s pathetic, that’s what it is.  Either make your peace with how you left things off with her and move on, or speak to her like a real man.”

Sebastian lets go, hands fumbling for his wand.  As soon as his fingers wrap around the cool, checkered marble handle, it flies out of his hand, clattering across the room.

“That’s enough from the two of you,” Anne snaps, shoving her wand back into her pocket. “You’re acting like children.”

“He started it,” Sebastian snarls.  He looks over at his best friend–Merlin, Ominis is his best friend, and he doesn’t even recognize him.  The blonde man has never been this angry at him before, not even when he killed–

Right, Sebastian swallows thickly. Best not to think about the past like that.

“Grow up, Sebastian.” Ominis digs his finger into Sebastian’s chest; he’s so angry, his jaw is quaking. “I don’t want to see you, speak to you, hear from you until you’ve grown the fuck up.” he threatens.  Ominis backs off, tugging his waistcoat down. “Anne, I’m going to take a walk around the block to cool down.”

Ominis grips his wand tightly, stalking out of the study.  The door slams heavily behind him, leaving the Sallow twins alone together. 

“Now look at what you’ve done,” Anne sighs, crossing her arms as she sits against the window.

“I’m sorry, Annie.” Sebastian chews on his lower lip. “I didn’t mean to–”

“No,” Anne scowls. “You never mean to.  You’ve somehow skated through twenty one years of life with nothing ever being your fault.”

“That’s not true,” Sebastian interjects.

“There are consequences to your actions, Sebastian.” Anne huffs. “You need to know that.”

“I do,” Sebastian pleads with her. “And I’m sorry–I’m sorry I left your wedding, I’m sorry I invited the two of them, I really didn’t even remember–”

“You’re not you , Sebastian.” Anne strains. “You haven’t been you in what feels like a very long time.”

“Not you too,” Sebastian groans. “Anne, you can’t possibly think this has to do with her.”

Anne’s eyes are teary now. “Ominis is right. You’re a shell, Sebastian. You’re going through the motions you think you should, but it’s not you. The real you wouldn’t forget about two women and just callously throw them aside. You wouldn’t leave my wedding without saying goodbye.”

Sebastian avoids eye contact with his sister, eyes glued to the floor boards. “I’m sorry,” he says sheepishly. “I was just too drunk.”

“You never used to drink this much,” Anne scolds. “Spending nearly every night down at the pub, all the whispers about you flirting with all sorts of women.  You’re a different person.”

“I’ve grown up, Anne.” Sebastian suggests. “A man can’t sow his oats without getting criticized now?”

“You were about to get married–”

Sebastian shuts his eyes, waving her off. “That’s silly , Anne.  I wasn’t serious about it.  We were eighteen, we’d just graduated Hogwarts.  It would’ve been stupid to get married.”

“But you wanted to,” Anne retorts. “You talked about it all the time.”

“Can we stop talking about stupid ideas I had when I was eighteen?” Sebastian growls. His cheeks are aflame, freckles burning at the continued mention of you.  Days ago, you were merely a memory, a chapter Sebastian had turned past in life.  After seeing your handwriting scrawled on a little card, thinking of you for just a fleeting moment, your memory was now infecting every waking minute of his life.  He tugs at his tie, throat growing thick at Ominis and Anne’s pokes into his personal life.

Anne gives him a pitying look. “She’s still around, you know.”

“Why would that matter to me?” Sebastian chokes out.

“Just talk to her—“

“She left!” Sebastian roars, smacking a stack of files off Ominis’s desk.  Anne looks unphased as the papers float to the ground. “I leave her for one night, and I come home the next morning to my flat, empty, couch gone. No note, no warning. We had one fight and she left me!”

“You said you wanted to cheat on her, Seb.” Anne reminds him.

“But I didn’t!” Sebastian huffs, red in the face.  The floodgates are open, words spilling from his mouth. “I wanted her to be mad, to be jealous!  I wanted her to miss me!” 

Involuntary tears prick at the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks. He can’t bring himself to admit the truth–that selfishly, he’d wanted to hurt you, to push you to your limits to see how you’d react. How he never could’ve imagined you’d actually leave. That his heart had cracked into pieces after finding the flat cleared out, and the shards had turned to dust when he realized weeks later that you weren’t coming home.

“Do you still want her to miss you?” Anne asks.

Yes, Sebastian thinks. His heart would probably explode out of his body if he were to ever find out you missed him.

“No,” he spits out. “I’m over her.”

Anne gives him a distrustful look, and Sebastian has to turn away in shame.

“I think you’ll find life to be a lot easier to digest when you stop lying to yourself,” Anne shrugs, folding her hands in her lap. “I don’t want to watch you waste your life away like this, Seb.  You miss her, and that’s okay.  You loved her.  Don’t sit here and pretend that you’re happy.”

“I’m happy,” Sebastian grunts. “I have a great life, Anne.  I’m the best junior auror on the force, I have plenty of friends.  I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want, and I don’t need to answer to anyone.  What makes you think I’m not happy?”

Anne’s face twists again, this time with a sad, pitiful look. “We’re twins, Sebastian.  I know you. I’ve known you forever.  I know things can never be as it was, but Ominis is right.  You have to make peace with the past, or talk to her.”

“It’s not about her,” Sebastian snarls again, crossing his arms.

“You got shitfaced and left my wedding after you stole the tag off her present.” Anne declares. “Tell me now how it’s not about her.”

“Whatever. I can’t talk to you when you’re acting like this.” Sebastian huffs, turning on his heels back towards the fireplace. “Send an owl when you’re feeling like yourself again.”

Anne leans against Ominis’s desk, her hands fidgeting with her skirt. “Likewise.  We can talk once you’ve figured out everything, and when you’re acting like yourself again.” she says coolly. “Otherwise, I don’t want to speak to you.”

“Ultimatums and threats, how very Gaunt of you.” Sebastian blurts out, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth.  Why would he even dare to say such a thing? 

Anne is unphased, shaking her head as she brushes dust off her skirt. “There you go again–trying to hurt someone you love, just to get a rise out of them. Seb, grow up. Don’t talk to me again until you’ve figured it out.”

Sebastian can’t bear to look at Anne, so he grabs a fistful of floo powder and disappears into the green flame.

“Another.” Sebastian demands, pushing his glass towards the new barmaid.

The woman raises her brow.  Elsie, Elise, whatever the fuck her name is.  She’s relatively new, and less obliging than the other bartenders Sebastian has come to know at the Three Broomsticks.  Although he might not have much pull anymore–the other bartenders seem to have gone cold towards their favorite regular, especially after he’d ditched their colleague Alexandra at the wedding with a duplicate guest.

“I’m afraid I’d be over-serving you, sir.” she says, polishing a tankard. “I think that’s enough for tonight.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, turning the barstool around to appraise tonight’s crowd.  It’s a Saturday, but there appears to be slim pickings amongst the crowd. Nary a pretty woman in the room.  He leans his elbows back against the bar top, scanning for any viable conquests. 

And then, the bell on the door rings.

Sebastian freezes, pint in hand.  He’d always imagined how this day might go–how it would feel to see you again.  He always pictured himself being brave, too cool to care.  Merlin, he might’ve even gotten some satisfaction out of seeing you be a bit miserable. 

But you’re not.  You’re laughing.  Oh god, how could you be laughing?

He’s frozen in place, standing rather sheepishly at the bar as he watches you, giggling on the arm of some stranger.  Sebastian could care less what he looks like, rather fixating on you instead. His heart swells at the sound of your voice for the first time in years, the playful lilt to your question.

Should we sit down here, or upstairs?

Your date tells you to go upstairs, while he meanders over to the bar to get drinks. “One whiskey, on the rocks, and…some drink with gin.  Er, with lemons?”

A white lady.  Gin, orange liquor, egg whites, lemon juice , Sebastian screams in his head.  It’s embarrassing how quickly that knowledge came back to him.  The entire history of you floods into his brain, a dam he’d built over the years of your estrangement destroyed with the mere sound of your giggle. You always favored gin in your drinks, but despised when things were too sweet, too fruity.  The key to your heart was understanding your sense of taste.  Sebastian recalls the nights he’d make dinner for you, before your shifts at St. Mungo’s.  He was no chef, but you always praised his cooking.  Pretty noises coming from your mouth as you savored braised mushrooms over pasta, the way your tongue ran over your lips when he made chicken–

Why did you break up again?

Images play over and over in his mind.  You scoffing at him, your career being more important than his.  Screaming, fighting, going days without seeing each other.  His teeth sunken into the neck of someone he didn’t know. A book thrown at his head, a coffee mug missing a handle. 

Right. That again.

Sebastian snaps out of his thoughts as your date takes two drinks up the stairs.  He follows on careful feet; if he’s learned anything in his years of being an auror, it’s how to follow with stealth.  He hides beneath the creaky wooden staircase, concealed by the darkness.  Yet through the wooden steps, he can see you sitting at the table, and the way your smile falters when your date drops a fruity concoction in front of you.  He wonders if this is your first date–no, you’re far too comfortable leaning into his touch for this to be a first date.  Perhaps a third, maybe a fourth. 

“You did promise me if we made it to our fourth date that you’d tell me,” the man across from you says. Sebastian feels a bit proud for knowing you well enough, but sick at the thought of you being close to anyone.

“Tell you what?” you ask, feigning innocence as you fake a sip of your sugary drink.

“If you’ve ever been in love,” he croons. Sebastian winces, remembering just how excruciating it is to be in the early days of a relationship. At least then he’d been sixteen; he can’t imagine asking such cringey questions as a grown adult. 

You roll your eyes, leaning back into your chair. “That’s such a cheesy question,” you scoff.

Even when you’re not together, you two are on the same page.

“It says a lot about a person,” your date shrugs. “You have been in love, haven’t you?”

You roll your eyes once more, wincing as you take a sip from your beverage. “I have,” you announce, holding up a finger. “Just once.”

“And?” the man pries. “What happened?”

“What always happens.” you shrug. “You get older, and you fall out of love.”

“Indulge me,” your date asks, leaning his chin into his palm. “What was it about him?”

Sighing, you lean forward.  Sebastian wishes he could cast a disillusionment charm, get closer to see the look on your face as you condense your love story into a palatable tale for this stranger.  He wants to know if you’ll do it justice.  

“We were sixteen,” you muse. “It felt like we’d grown up together, that we could do anything.  And for a while, we could.  But then we had jobs, friends, and lives we had to explore outside of each other. Suddenly, we needed different things. We just couldn’t love each other the way we wanted to.” 

Sebastian wrinkles his nose. That’s it?  That’s all you’ll say about the great love you shared, a measly five sentences?  That you drifted apart, you grew up?  He has half a mind to march up the stairs and confront you right this moment. In fact, one foot is already ahead of the other, emerging from the darkness. 

“In the spirit of honesty, can I tell you something?” you ask. “I absolutely hate fruity drinks.”

Sebastian stops in his tracks.  You hate complaining, let alone correcting someone.  You never complained once during your tenure at Hogwarts, nor did you complain at the simplest offenses.  He and Ominis would have to practically beg you to send back food if your order came out wrong.  Imelda would roll her eyes every time you apologized for sending a beater your opponent’s way.  Hell, half the reason the two of you broke up was because you could hardly confront him, moving your belongings out of your shared apartment to avoid conflict.

Yet here you are, finally open and honest about something.  You’ve grown, he realizes. Has he?

“Excuse me,” your date clears his throat.  Sebastian is drawn out of his thoughts as the dark-haired man bumps into him at the foot of the stairs. 

“Sorry mate,” Sebastian says hurriedly, turning his back.  Hopeful that you haven’t seen him lurking quite yet, he pushes through the throngs of people in the pub, all blocking his way to the front door.

“Oi, Sallow!” the barmaid yells, and he curses under his breath, stopping in his tracks. “You forgot your tab.”

Sebastian digs through the pockets of his cloak, pulling out a few sickles to cover his drinks.  He turns toward you on the second floor, wondering if you’d heard his name. You hadn’t; you were back to chatting animatedly with the stranger, his hand resting on your forearm.

Sebastian slams the sickles down on the bar top, pulling the hood on his cloak over his head before turning on his heel. Rain pours outside, the water sliding his back as he rushes down the cobblestone street to his doorstep.  Your laugh haunts every step, mocking him all the way home.

Sebastian turns in his sleep, bedsheets tangled in his legs.  He’s not one to brag (Ominis would say otherwise if they were on speaking terms) but he’s not used to being alone in bed.  Not if he doesn’t want to be. 

He is alone tonight, his damp cloak discarded in the corner of his room where he kicked his clothes.  He lives alone, so he wasn’t quite sure why he was going through the motions of banging the cupboards, slamming his door.  The tea he’d made to sober up had gone cold, perched on the side table next to a myriad of dirty cups.  He nearly bangs his head against the wrought iron headboard, staring up at the dark ceiling.  There’s a tightness in his belly, an urge sparking his senses below.  

Fuck, he’s hard.

Sebastian grumbles to himself as his hand trails down his stomach, gripping his length. He’s sleeping in the nude—has been, ever since he got his own bachelor pad—and can’t help thinking about how much you would despise him for it.  You’d always been a stickler for pajamas, grumbling about him sitting in bed with dirty clothes.

Why is he thinking about you now, after all these years?  Sebastian grunts in displeasure as his cock twitches in his hand. He tries to focus on anything else—the blonde he’d kissed a few nights prior, or the woman with auburn hair who’d gripped his locks at the root when he’d sucked a mark into her neck.  Neither works in his quest for relief.  Begrudgingly, his thoughts fall towards you, distant memories he’s not even sure are real anymore.

They had been real, and so were you.  Sebastian paces his strokes, biting hard into his lower lip as his memories flood back. He furrows his brow as he pictures you, sidling up next to him in bed.  You’d always crawl back underneath the sheets after a long night in the ward, getting home with just an hour or two left before Sebastian would have to wake and get ready for work. He tightens his grip at the memory of you, nosing his cheek as your hand replaces his. 

“You know I hate when you go to bed without pants,” you whisper against his neck, teeth grazing his pulse.

”I do,” he murmurs, letting you take over. His hand falls back against the pillow, arms above his head as he sighs into your touch.  He swears he can feel your hands ghosting over his body, firm grip pumping his cock up and down.  He groans audibly when your thumb glides over the glistening head, a gasp caught in the back of his throat as he feels your lips pressing a tentative kiss against it.  

“Please,” Sebastian pleads. “Please.”

He’s not sure what he’s begging for, but his right hand crashes against his mouth, a pathetic whimper spilling past as he feels your mouth envelop him. Your hands brace his thighs, a curtain of hair brushing his hips as your head bobs up and down. He’s loud, louder than he’s been in years—you always brought that out of him, loving how vocal he could be. 

You hum against him; he knows you’re looking up at him, a devilish grin on your lips. Sebastian doesn’t dare to look down at you, worried you’ll disappear the moment he tries.

“Good morning,” you gasp, popping off of his cock.  Your hand replaces your mouth, the filthy sound of your spit and his come pounding alongside his heartbeat in his ears.

Sebastian can’t stop himself, his hips rolling upwards.  A garbled noise falls out of his mouth as he opens his eyes.  You’re gone—you were never here to begin with.  He fucks up into his fist with urgency, his eyes stinging as he chases his climax.  Sebastian lets out a guttural groan as he spills into his palm, a tear rolling down his cheek as he heaves, coming back down to earth.

You were never here, Sebastian reminds himself. A fucking memory, that’s all.  An end to a means, a way to get off.  That doesn’t make him feel any better as he rolls over to his night stand, picking up his wand.  He mutters a quick cleaning spell, rustling the sheets to the end of his bed as he lays, staring at the ceiling. Not real, not real, not real.   The two words comfort him, eyes fluttering back to sleep.

Your laugh replays in his mind anyways.

Sebastian rolls the vial in his hands, fingers hesitating at the stopper.  It’s standard issue for aurors to have their own personal pensieve, especially once they’re at the senior level. Sebastian has been trusted with his own pensieve, the only junior auror on the force to have one.  It’s an important tool, one he uses to peruse old memories.  They’re useful if you need to observe an old crime scene, hone in on a suspect’s face.

Fuck it, Sebastian thinks, pulling the stopper out.  The silvery memory floats down from the glass to the swirling waters, and he’s reminded of the first time he’d used a pensieve—he’d been with you.  He shudders as he lowers his face to the milky surface, falling into a memory he’s tried to forget.

It was raining that night.  He follows his past self up the stairs to the old flat he’d shared with you, stopping to take a sobering breath before pushing the door in.  He can see you sitting at the dinner table, arms crossed over a white muslin dress.  You look so angry with him—you always looked so angry in those final days of your relationship.  

“Where the hell have you been?” You snap, and both versions of himself flinch.

“Out,” his past self growls. “Why does that matter to you?”

You stare at him with furrowed brows. “This was my only day off of the week, Sebastian. I wanted to spend it together.  You’re always going on and on about how we don’t spend enough time together, yet every time I even make an effort you don’t even show—“

”Merlin forbid I want to celebrate a good day at work with my colleagues,” the younger Sebastian snarls, a hiccup lining the edge of his sentence as he slams his bag down on the table.

”You reek,” the past version of you declares, nose wrinkling. “Of booze.  How long have you been drinking?” You lean in, sniffing his neck.  Sebastian instinctively moves his arm, trying to pull you away.  It’s no use; it’s an illusion, his hand passes right through your skin. 

“Is that perfume?” Your voice falters.

”You’re imagining things,” Sebastian accuses.

”Don’t lie to me, Sallow.” You roar. “I smell perfume on your neck.”

Sebastian flinches when his younger self whirls around on his heel. “And so what if I smell like perfume?” He screeches.

Your face crumbles, and Sebastian has to force himself to look.  You look so much younger, with full cheeks and wide eyes.  He’d forgotten you’d plaited your hair at the top, just the way he’d liked it.  He remembered tugging on your braids when the two of you were still in school, before you’d even started dating.  That was ages ago, yet his heart still yearns for those days.

”Sebastian, have you been with someone else?”

The words still prick his heart, yet he forces himself to keep watching. His younger self stands there, a blank expression on his face.

”What if there was someone else?”

“Is there someone else?”

The younger Sebastian stands firm, arms folded over his chest.  This is it, the moment his heart closed to you.  This is when your relationship slipped down the drain. He doesn’t flinch with his next words, all aimed at you.  He’s playing the offense now, drawing blood with his words.

She’s nice, and she actually cares to listen to me.  I didn’t kiss her—but damn, I wanted to.

Sebastian perches on the table, knowing what comes next.  You don’t bother with tears—you’d cried enough in the last few months of the relationship, trying to salvage damaged goods.  There’s nothing left to give.  You pick up the closest book, hurling it at Sebastian’s face.  The book passes through the real Sebastian, his past self ducking just in time for it to slam against the wall.  The book falls to the ground with a thud, spine dented from the wooden beam.

His past self curses, knocking into the closest table.  Your favorite mug, the one with the funky handle, goes flying off the surface, the handle breaking off.

”I’m going to Ominis’s, until you can be a reasonable adult,” his past self roars, tugging the hood of his cloak over his head.

No, Sebastian screams. Don’t go.  She won’t be home when you come back.

”Sebastian!” You wail.  His head snaps to you, hands balled into fists at your side. He’d never noticed the look of despair on your face, the longing in your eyes. “I—“

The memory ends with a slammed door, your voice far away. He didn’t even give you the chance to finish your sentence.  Sebastian is forced out of the memory, head jolting out of the stone basin with nowhere else to go.

It’s the first time he’s forced himself to relive the memory.  It’s different than he remembered; he doesn’t look nearly as confident as he thought he did.  He doesn’t need to watch the rest to remember how it felt.  After a night spent on Ominis’s settee, sleeping off the alcohol, he’d walk back into the flat prepared with an apology.  He’d slip the key into the lock, calling out your name.  You’d probably be asleep in anticipation of your night shift, but he wouldn’t be able to wait.  He would burst through the bedroom, but you wouldn’t be in bed.  In fact, all of your belongings would be gone, leaving half of the flat bare.  No note, no goodbye.  He’d spend the better half of a day banging on Poppy’s door, only for her to snap at him in response. 

She doesn’t want to speak to you ever again. Every friend had said it, and Sebastian took it to heart.  Perhaps it would take you a couple of days, a few weeks at most to forgive him.  Weeks turned into months, and before long it was a year.  He moved into his own apartment in Diagon Alley.  Poppy and Imelda stopped talking to him entirely, and Natty would only speak to him at work.  It wasn’t much longer that he started chatting up women at the pub, going on dates.  You became a distant memory, his teenage love, a chapter he’d left behind.

Sebastian thought it would give him some closure. That he’d accept being the asshole, finally put you away for good.  Seeing your handwritten note to Ominis and Anne had only eroded his stone heart, dripping away at his resolve.  Hearing you laugh was like taking a pickaxe to the chest, and your summary of the relationship had been the killing blow. It’s like you didn’t even care; simply shrugging off what had been the longest and most defining relationship of his life.  

Isn’t that what he wanted?

Sebastian slumps against the basin, fingertips drumming against the edge.  It’s classic, really, textbook Sebastian Sallow to ruin everything.  He still remembers the way he pushed away Ominis, had forsaken Anne’s wants and needs when it came to her curse.  The unforgivable curse falling past his lips, regretting the words while he says them.  He’d crumpled in your arms, sobbing against your robes that night.  You’d given him a second chance at life, to be a better brother, a better friend.  He promised he wouldn’t squander the opportunity, choosing love over anger.

But falling in love with you hadn’t been a choice.  It had been natural, the easiest thing Sebastian had ever done.  He’d loved you so hard, too much—he’d wanted to marry you, for Merlin’s sake.  That all changed when you started working the night shift.  You spent less time together, and even moments at home were spent studying.  You balked at his touch, preferring the company of a book and a cup of tea instead.  He felt his walls go up, guarding himself from pain.  It couldn’t hurt if he hurt you first, he recalled. He’d bite the hand that fed him, and that would give him an advantage.  

Sebastian splashes the water in the pensieve, the silvery threads of his memory tangling in his fingers.  How easy it would be to store it away, destroy it forever. Fuck, he’d obliviate himself if he could.  He could move on with his life, finally be rid of you. 

Your name, scrawled on parchment.  The lilt of your laugh, the way your cheeks still turn pink when you smile.  The memory of your hair brushing against him in the morning, how just the memory of you is enough to make him hard.  Fuck, he loves you—he’s always loved you.  He’s always going to love you.  Who do you think you are, to stay this long?  Perhaps he’s afraid of you, how powerful you are to have this hold on him. 

Sebastian carefully collects the memory with the tip of his wand, letting it seep back through his ears and into his mind.  It hurts, still a heavy weight on his heart. But better to have it, to have a piece of you.  He knows he’s done irreparable harm, and he can’t change who he was then.  Sebastian has been given a plethora of second chances in his life, and he’s likely run up on any good karma he has left.

You deserve better, Sebastian thinks. He hopes you’re happy.  He wonders if you’re still enjoying the night shift, still at the top of your field.  His mind trails off to the man you were sharing drinks with—perhaps you’ve found love again. He shudders at the thought of you walking down the aisle to a faceless man, but there’s nothing he can do.  He made his bed, and he’ll lie in it.

Sebastian can only resolve to be better.  Maybe in time he’ll get back into Ominis and Anne’s good graces. Be a better brother, a better friend.  He shuts the cover on the pensieve, pushing it back into the corner of his bedroom.  His eye catches the book on his shelf with a dented spine before he straightens his tie, collecting his cloak to leave for work.

He can be better. Maybe. For now, he’ll settle on drinks after work, praying you don’t walk into the same pub as him ever again.

Sebastian’s breath is knocked out of his chest.  You’re sitting at the table with Poppy, Andrew’s chair pulled up next to them.  You look breathtaking, dressed in a pretty lace gown with matching gloves on your hands.  Your hair is piled atop your head in a fashionable way, and you’re blinking up at him expectantly.  He can barely look you in the eyes, lest he crumple at the knees.

”Emergency meeting,” he utters gloomily. “Ruined a good lunch.”

That’s all you have to say?  He berates himself in his mind as Andrew and Everett bid you farewell.  Your eyes turn back disappointedly to the cutlery on the table, and Sebastian screams internally as his colleagues drag him away from the table on unsteady feet.

”Pull yourself together, man.” Everett rolls his eyes. “You’re acting like you’ve seen a ghost.  And considering how many ghosts we knew at school, it’s a little embarrassing.”

“I can’t,” Sebastian mutters. “That’s the first time I’ve seen her in years.”

”Years?” Andrew’s eyes widen. “You’ve really gone that long?”

Years, Sebastian thinks.  Years since you left.  Years since he fought with Anne and Ominis after their wedding, years since he froze under the stairs at the Three Broomsticks, hearing you recount your love story to a new flame.  He’s thought of you every day since.

”That’s depressing,” Everett whistles low. “I never want to fall in love.”

“It’s sweet, really.” Andrew points out. “You never forget your first love, even after you’ve moved on.”

”Moved on?” Sebastian asks.

Everett gives him a sympathetic look, scratching his head. “Er, I thought you noticed—the giant diamond on her hand?  I heard she was engaged.” He confesses. “Sorry mate.  Natsai told me.”

Of course Natty wouldn’t tell him , Sebastian thinks.  She’s hardly spoken to him in years, despite working in the same department.  She’s dutifully ignored him, only daring to speak about work related matters.  The moment your conversations turn towards your personal lives, she would disappear.

”I’m happy for her,” he chokes out, trying to sound convincing.  He knows it isn’t.

”Well, you’re happy now too, aren’t you?” Andrew tries to cheer up the conversation. “The bachelor life suits you.”

Sebastian isn’t sure that’s true.

They apparate back to the ministry, all of the aurors crowded into the office to help with a massive case. Sebastian is hardly listening during the mission debrief.  His mind is elsewhere, on you.  He wonders if you’re marrying the man from the bar, the one with the cheesy questions.  He swallows thickly at the thought of you in love, real love this time.  Something that would last.

He wants to call on Anne.  They haven’t spoken since he’d fought with Ominis after their wedding, his twin holding strong to her words.  She wanted to see him grow, to confront his feelings before coming back to her.  Maybe now was a good time—Anne was always a good shoulder to cry on.

Sebastian had expected a decent fight, but this one takes the cake.  It’s the most intense of his auror career so far, battling what feels like an army of ashwinders who’ve rallied to terrorize the highlands once more. The fight isn’t fair; it’s brutal, several of his fellow aurors falling on the scene.  Andrew has a nasty gash, arms slung around both him and Everett as they try to get to a safe floo point. They might splinch if they try to apparate, and Andrew is looking pale enough as it is.

“Wild day, isn’t it?” Everett chuffs, straining as they lift Andrew and his bleeding leg. The floo point is about twenty feet away, but it’s an uphill climb. “We need to get him to St. Mungo’s, stat.” He says your name, wondering if you’re on duty to help with Andrew’s injury.

”She works the night shift,” Sebastian blurts. He doesn’t even know if you still work nights—it’s just the only thought that comes to mind.

”Well, maybe she’ll be there and you can stop acting like you’ve got doxies for brains.” Andrew snorts, wincing in pain.

”She looks happy,” Sebastian admits. “Beautiful. Merlin, I forgot how beautiful she is.”

Sebastian feels Andrew tugging on his shoulder, panic laced through his voice.  He turns to see an ashwinder, appearing out of nowhere.  The masked man has his wand raised, pulling his arm back to inflict a curse.  Sebastian can see he’s aiming at Everett, the incantation on his lips.

Sebastian doesn’t hesitate.  He lets go of Andrew, letting him topple over onto the grass.  He dives in front of his partner, the bolt of green magic electrifying him as he lands with a thud on the ground.  He can’t tell if he’s yelling, or if it’s Clopton.  He feels cold and wet, streaks of red blossoming on his crisp white shirt.  

“We have to get him to St. Mungo’s!” Everett roars. “I don’t care, apparate! Get us out of here!” 

Andrew crawls over to his side.  He asks Sebastian to forgive him, curling his arms around him as they apparate away from the scene.  Sebastian feels like he’s being pushed through a piece of straw, landing on the cold marble floor of the St. Mungo’s intensive care ward. Healers are already running amok, trying to help the others coming in from the scene. A healer is sending a patronus message, rabbit bouncing off the walls before disappearing to relay a message.  He wants to lift his head, check the room to see if you’re there.  When he tries, Clopton chastises him, holding him down to the floor.

We have to stop the bleeding, someone says. What bleeding?  He’s just cold.  

“Can someone get me a blanket?” Sebastian slurs, words garbled in his throat.

He hears someone saying your name. “We’ve called in the head of the ward,” they say. “She’s on her way in as we speak.”

“We know her,” Andrew insists, still holding his hand down tight against Sebastian’s chest.  He’s not sure why Andrew is clutching him so tightly, clamping down on his sternum.

”She’ll know how to stop the bleeding,” the healer assures him. “She’ll figure it out—her magic always does the trick.”

That’s all he needs to know. Sebastian shuts his eyes, the sounds of the ward disappearing against the ringing in his ears.  He’ll be okay, especially if you’re on the way. Deep down, Sebastian knows he’s in good hands.

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they’d react if you told them you’ve never dated anyone before

Headcanons about our baby girls :3 “Never dated” also refers to no romantic experience whatsoever. The Farmer is gender neutral, for Harvey’s it could be read as afab but I leave that up to your imagination

Content warning: mild nsfw

Sam:

-he doesn’t care because same LMFAO

-admittedly, he feels more comfortable with that piece of knowledge as he doesn’t feel as pressured to do everything right

-“wow, Farmer, really?! I wouldn’t have guessed, but me neither! B-but don’t worry, we will handle this together. This will be so much fun!”

-he’s excited to explore this new chapter of your life together…with lots of kissies

-can’t believe he is the first person to call you his’ and feels extremely flattered by it. He won’t shut up about it when he’s with Abi and Seb

-the smexy time with him will be a blast though. He’s maybe not the most skilled lover, but his enthusiasm makes up for all of it. He helps you relax and take it light. Be prepared for lots of praise and absent-minded filth coming from his mouth

Sebastian:

-homeboy really doesn’t give a shit tbh, he doesn’t even give you a big reaction

-we both know he hasn’t dated before either, but it’s nothing of his concern either

-“…ok, that’s cool…(?)” *proceeds playing games on his console”

-though you don’t have any reference points, he’s still trying to be the best boyfriend he can be for you because you deserve it (he won’t say that though)

-what can I say, he’s pretty indifferent 🤷🏼‍♀️

-about intimate business though…he has no clue what to do and wished at least you knew, but you both make it work. The first time is a bit too gentle, but that will change once you get the hang of it. It’s nerve-wrecking to him but he’s also excited to learn all these new things with you and make you feel good

Harvey:

-Harvey wouldn’t mind either way, he knows you’re an adult and that you can choose to live your life however you want to with whoever

-buuuut, unlike with the others, it makes him even more anxious that he is your first partner and wants to make everything right.

-“I’m not the most exciting guy, but I’ll try my best to make this relationship perfect for you, because you deserve nothing but the best.”

-His last relationship was years ago, so this feels new to him as well. He takes things slow with you, especially since he’s very shy and needs to ease into things as well. Everything being new to you makes him feel young again

-feels guilty for going further with you too as he doesn’t want to mess things up. He knows how painful and uncomfortable it can be and wants you to remember it fondly, peppering you with lots of kisses, soft touches, hand holding and prep work

-overall, he’s the best first boyfriend you could ever wish for. He’s caring, polite and cute :3

Elliott:

-ma man, ma boy, he has waited for this moment

-Elliott is a notorious romantic, of course he will take this opportunity to make your time with him the most special experience of your entire life

-“It will be a pleasure to show you the world through rose-coloured glasses, my love. *kisses your hand all so gently*. So you won’t ever forget that you are the light of my life, that you are loved.”

-not that he wouldn’t wanna do that if you had dated anyone before, but he goes along with things differently depending on your experience

-if you’re new to this, he will take it slow. The last he wants is to push you to do things you’re not comfortable with

-he’s a very romantic man, but that also encapsulates that he’s a very sexual man ( not in a creepy perv way of course, just very passionate about the whole gist of being intimate). But he waits with that for a LOOOONG time before he plans a romantic bedroom date with a hot bath, rose petals and body oils if he knows it’s your first relationship

-a lot of rom-com-esque adventures await you with this fine gentleman, and the build up to the big night will be worth the patience ;)

Shane:

-Quite frankly? He’s flustered the house lol

-I’m talking big rosy blush across his face and big eyes

-like, you chose HIM to be your first? Really?!

-he always thought highly of you, but now he has to reconsider how smart you could possibly be when you want him to be your first relationship

-“Uh, wow…a-and you’re sure you want to make this experience with me ?! Of all people?!”

-He has had many meaningless hookups in the past, but relationships….oof they weren’t that deep, and he never cared about any of them like he cares about you.

-He tries his best. He’s not an anxious mess like Harv, but he still watches how he behaves around you because he doesn’t want to break your spirit regarding relationships…he doesn’t want you to feel the way he has felt about love and trust

-though he had some hookups, it’s been A WHILE K, so he has major anxiety around your first time together. As much as he’d love to devour you, his anxiety makes him avoid it for the longest time. He wants nothing but the best for you, and he still doesn’t think highly of himself, not to mention his chub. But at some point, he is able to let his guard down as he knows you wouldn’t judge him for something like that ever.

Alex:

-ALEX, my precious…well yeah he is stoked ngl LOL

-he is a whole jock jerk but that’s all a facade, so this piece of information makes him a little less anxious but the more excited to give it his all to make this a one-of-a-kind experience to you

-“wait, REALLY?! That’s aweso- I mean, that’s interesting. I can consider myself a lucky guy to be your first boyfriend. You won’t ever regret it, I promise 😉” *dies on the inside and wants nothing but to scream in excitement*

-BUT it also boosts his ego through the roof. He can’t believe he is the guy that made you want to go the next step, especially as no one else made you want to have a relationship before him

-He’s nothing but a good old-fashioned lover boy. Man grew up with his grandparents, one of them being Evelyn (my precious granny), so he has some manners and knows how to treat a lady (if you’re not a lady, he will treat you like one regardless because that’s all he knows lol)

-I’m sorry but…man’s horny, and though he wants to take things slow for your sake, he will take the first opportunity to take you to bed with him let’s b real. He will be gentle with you and tries his best to make it “first time friendly”, but it is very hard for him as he has dreamed about this since the first time you’ve met.

[stardewremixed]

Summer (real world) birthday headcanons and how they would celebrate their special day

Jas - June 4th - picking wildflowers with Penny in the morning, drawing on coloring pages with some new crayons from Vincent (courtesy of Sam's Joja paycheck) in the afternoon and playing at the park together. Gunther organizes a special story time at the library (with the help of Elliott providing all the voices). Marnie doesn't cook so Jodi would bake a pink cake, but Marnie would probably would have bought a new doll for her. Jas finishes the day on Shane's shoulders feeding the chickens on the farm.

Gus - June 8th - this man deserves more love since he feeds the village! I could see the Farmer bringing fresh oranges from their orchard in a basket wrapped with a yellow ribbon. Emily cooks up a big batch of his favorite fish tacos, and drags Haley in to help serve (giving Gus the night off). Haley would drag Alex into it (at least to carry bags of ice and look hot doing it). Elliott might tinker on the piano. Leah would have a pint or two and pitch in also. Willy brings some tropical curry from Ginger Island for his buddy. The SAS trio attempt a song in his honor. Gus is happy to spend the evening in the Saloon with his friends and neighbors.

Maru - June 10th - A big breakfast with her family complete with fresh strawberries. Seb surfaces before 10 just in her honor. Maru is thrilled to spend the day with her dad in the lab and collecting specimens in the forest. Harvey gave her the day off, of course, and a little strawberry birthday card. She gets a rhubarb pie, courtesy of Evelyn or the farmer. She spends the late afternoon chatting on a park bench with her BFF, Penny, who gives her robot drawings from the Valley kiddos. Robin builds a wooden shelf for all of Maru's odds-and-ends gadgets. And stargazing with Sebastian (like they did as kids) is the perfect way to end the day.

Alex - June 13th - Evelyn would make a complete breakfast for her grandson, and a small gift that she knitted (maybe a cover for a water bottle or for his weights to keep them protected). With the help of Farmer, George ordered a gridball card online for his grandson. Tossing the ball down at the beach and a long ocean swim with Farmer, plus a picnic lunch. (I have this cute little headcanon that he would build sandcastles with Vincent and Sam). If Farmer is able to splurge, catching a gridball game together in the evening is his birthday present. And Alex is a very physical guy in my book, so plenty of hand holding, bear hugs, kisses all day long and then a dip at the hot springs in the evening (and maybe a sensual massage).

Sam - July 17th - A platter of maple bars for breakfast and maybe some early morning cloud gazing with his main squeeze (Farmer). And there's no way he wouldn't have a party. Pizza. Joja colas. Plenty of cheery hi-energy rock music. Streamers. Balloons. Arcade games. Party poppers. Confetti. Karaoke. Oh and he would buy something cheesy at Jojamart for party favors like rubber bracelets or silly string. And maybe for a final touch of whimsy, embracing his inner child, a pinata with tons of candy (much to Vincent's delight)! Abigail would play her woodland flute after one too many sugary drinks and candies and cakes. Seb might even step up to the mic for karaoke (but would sneak a smoke first for courage).

Dwarf - July 22 - Dwarf is just happy if someone makes the effort to visit them and remembers to bring a gift (preferably a shiny stone). Oh and they are touched if you speak their language. Fancy a spot of stardrop tea together? Cheers!

Demetrius - August 19 - this man doesn't strike me as someone who really likes celebrating his birthday. A nice quiet unwrapping of gifts at home (a gift card from Seb because he has no clue what to get his stepdad), and a good bean hotpot dinner is probably all he wants. Maybe sharing an ice cream cone with Robin and a private dance under the stars.

Willy - August 24 - Spend the day fishing together and enjoy a simple fish dinner on the beach by a fire and he's happy. Oh and mugs of mead shared while swapping sea stories.

Leo - August 26 - look for bird feathers and shells to decorate his treehouse. I picture playing tag on the beach with Jas and Vincent, probably Sam and Penny too. And some fresh mangos is a delicious treat! He would probably enjoy a tape of bird songs or a picture book about birds. I totally think Emily would do face painting for his birthday.

[latoyalestrange]

an idea for Sebastian x the MC: MC is on her period and walking with Sebastian when she has a bad cramp, one of those you can’t really ignore and need to sit down for a min and endure the pain. Sebastian’s immediate reaction is thinking she was cursed like Anne because she’s always out fighting goblins. She really doesn’t want to tell him because what teenage girl wants to talk about that with their crush but he’s so worried and won’t drop it. (side note: did teenage boys know about periods in the 1890’s? i deadass have no clue)

omg my mind juices are flowing. what a wonderful idea, anon. thank you for the free labor.

speaking of which, by the time i post this i will most likely have hit 500 followers!! ding ding ding!! why do you guys follow me? i defo do not deserve all the love you guys give me.

another question, how should we celebrate? there are no bad ideas because i have none. anyway, enjoy!

pinky promise

s. sallow x f!reader

summary: normally you keep these things to yourself, or at least to you and your menstruating friends. but one sebastian sees you doubled over in pain, privacy goes out the window. he's so freaked out that you have no choice but to tell him the truth to ease him.

words: 0.6k

warnings: mentions of periods, cramping, angst, hurt/comfort, crying!seb, not edited!

you were just fine moments ago. you were walking with sebastian to the library to study, talking, joking, all of the normal things you would do. he didn't notice you weren't next to him at first. everything was just fine. but suddenly, everything came crashing down when he saw you clutch your side, your face twisting with anguish. he couldn't help it. he immediately saw anne in you, crying out in pain from her curse. everything slowed around him, all he could hear was his own heavy breaths as he stood helplessly in shock. a million thoughts were racing through his mind. he knew you were one to track down the remaining loyalists on your own, but how could he have missed it? you were probably in so much pain but with too much pride to admit it.

most of all, though, he was angry with himself for being unable to protect you. he'd already let it happen to his sister once, he should've taken more precautions. he should've known, he should've stopped it. without wasting another second, he raced to your side, wrapping his arm around you to support you.

"no, no, no, no, no...please don't tell me..." his voice was already breathless and trembling. with your eyes still screwed tightly shut, his words seemed distant, muffled almost. the sharp pain that suddenly surfaced in your abdomen shrouded all your other senses. you couldn't get a word out if you tried, so you just held up your hand, a weak attempt at calming him.

"no, no, i can't--" he didn't even try to hide the tears pooling in his amber eyes. he quickly dropped to his knees in front of you as you knelt over to get a better look at the expression on your face. his hand instinctively cupped your face.

"y/n, please tell me you weren't cursed, please!" he was full-on crying at this point, tears streaming down his freckled cheeks that were now flushed with worry. you were quickly brought back to reality, hearing the pain in his voice. you opened your eyes and instantly felt horrible.

you placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as you slowly started to straighten your spine as the cramp faded away. "no, sebastian, i'm fine--"

"no, you're not fine!" he was practically wailing now, gripping onto your robes hopelessly before wrapping his arms around your waist with an almost unbearable grip and hiding his dampened face in your torso. you were fast to rest your hands in his hair, gently patting it to somehow soothe him.

"sebastian, really, i'm okay, i'm just..." you continued running your fingers through his hair as you contemplated the truth. to be frank, this was something you were hoping you didn't have to talk with sebastian about. however, the lingering students in the central hall were already giving the two of you stares, you needed to calm him.

"it's...my time, sebastian." you tried to keep your voice hushed as to not draw more attention, but your wording sent him even further from relaxing.

"your time?!" he shouted incoherently, tears still streaming down his face.

you gasped, realizing your mistake, "no, no! sebastian, it's my time of the month." as if a switch had flipped in his brain, his brow softened immediately as he stared blankly at you.

"oh." he let his arms linger around your waist as he tried slowing his breathing. after a moment, he pulled you closer once more, his cheek flush with your stomach.

"please don't scare me like that again," he mumbled adorably, still holding tightly onto you.

"i--...sure, okay. i'm sorry, sebastian. i didn't mean to scare you, darling." you decided not to argue with him. in that moment, all he needed was love.

"and pinky promise no more ashwinder camps without me," he added, craning his neck to look up at you with puffy eyes. you suppressed a chuckle but still smiled down at him.

"pinky promise."

[thelovetheystole]

One thing that stands out right now is how quiet it is. No proper Christmas preview is one thing, but since Aaron's new love interest was cast, Danny has been interviewed zero times. Oliver himself had one or two interviews, as did Isabel. Oliver's were before John and Aaron were even an item. Then nothing.

We have been led to believe that there is so much more coming up about John, yet every week when the magazines drop, there are hardly any mentions, and certainly very few direct spoiler articles about him or Aaron.

Quiet.

Then we have the on screen relationship. They share a couple of scenes that are supposed to progress their 'romance' from casual to serious, but if we blink we miss all of it. Then they disappear off screen for weeks on end.

Equally quiet.

We've figured out that Danny has been working more as of late. But there have been no clues what is coming up for the character, not leading up to Christmas and certainly nothing for 2025. Remember last year when we heard about how in early 2024 Aaron and Cain would have their big fight? And then later supporting Chas with her cancer, and the faulty gene? It wasn't much, but it was something.

They dropped this huge bomb that Rebecca was dead and Seb was living with an unknown, possibly elderly aunt, then that just went quiet too. No Vic calling Robert to confirm, no worrying about Seb on his birthday or how he'll be feeling this Christmas. Everyone just quietly went on with their lives. Vic especially comes across as not caring.

I just think it's all very unusual 🤷‍♀️

Also, the show got real quiet real fast about the Sugdens and rebuilding them...