Tumgik
#no but i just fucked up something and now I GOTTA LIVE WITH SEEING THAT PERSON FOR 4 MONTHS
pepperpixel · 3 months
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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never lay down in bed right after eating. don't think about staying on your phone for nearly two hours in that position. don't sleep either. acid reflux is real and i hate that guy
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fvedyetor · 1 hour
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#delete later vent sorry#fuck shit fuck shit fuck shitfuckc fuckkkk#man i was having a great day too#will continue to have a great day soon after i get over this#but oh man#lol i love posting a silly poll and then immediately venting abt garbage shit. fucking hell on my parents for bringing up garbage shit rn#why tf couldnt they wait until i was having therapy to bring up something like that#bc now ur fucking triggering my ocd and im not having therapy for 3 weeks and im gonna be fucking miserable with bad thoughts#itd be even worse with their fucking idea.#i hate ocd bc it makes me a horrible person who cant exist. and i cant tell them why their ideas are horrible bc then they'll know how#horrible i and my brain are. jesus fucking hell what the fuck man#delete later#genuinely that idea makes me wanna kms and if they carry it out i will wanna kms. or run away. or move. or something fucking christ man.#bc i cant live like that. and this is not a good time to fuck me up like that#what the fuck#i have so much other shit in my life to deal with and ur trying to worsen my mental health and make my life a living hell?? what the fuck#and i cant explain to them why bc its fucking ocd and im a horrible person and they cant know that man what the fuck.#and they cant just trust me. from their pov everything is fine. they ''believe and trust in me'' that im ''capable of this''#fucking hell i am not#and i wont get better if you do this#i will get infinitely worse#i was doing so much better#oh boy wont my therapist be happy that i can do that new workbook she got huh#the therapist i wont see for three more weeks bc of the holiday on thursday#ok gotta go back to making art and distracting myself i cant just wallow in awful feelings#like they seem to want me to#fucking hell#sorry
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bootyful-seventeen · 11 months
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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hecksupremechips · 5 months
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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your-turn-to-role · 2 years
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been working my way through the lovm s2 q&as that are on youtube
and like! love them as always, the cast is great, great to hear them talk about this stuff
but also. i took like a year ish hiatus from this fandom before tlovm pulled me back in, and in that time i, among other things, finished my theatre degree
and god does this hit different when you're a week out from the professional opening of an original musical you wrote with like 7 other people, and are also not just a performer in but the music director of
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Losing my mind a little this week it's fine
#literally just need to spill my thoughts here because im struggling#work stuff is so fucking frustrating these days and i have no motivation#because our clients are irritating as HELL 75% of the time and dont know what tf theyre talking about#and it takes so much restraint to not just tell them to stop talking and listen to me and do what we say#and i HATE having urgency in my work the way i do now#it is not how i operate at all and i fucking hate it#like i do not want to have to rush to do things and shove other things aside to prioritize something every single day#but thats whats happening#and our company is so BAD at internal communication#we are a MARKETING. AGENCY. THATS SUPPOSED TO BE. A STRENGTH#im also just. hitting a depressive episode rn which is not helping#i got a notice from a fucking tax collector because i didnt file my taxes for the four months i lived in this county in 2020#because i didnt realize THAT WAS SEPARATE bc no one TOLD ME#and now i have to pay 25 bucks to do that within a month like. guys i did not make enough for this to be a big deal fuck you#and i have to worry about an upcoming conversation with a friend and their roommates bc the roommates suck so bad and we need them to leave#but theyre difficult and defensive and hostile and toxic hence why im going to be there at all to back up my friend#but i just. it causes me so much anxiety#AND i have to see two of my cousins this week who are closer to each other than they are to me and like. its nice yall reached out but#we arent friends were just around the same age and we have different values and goals and i am so. so tired#ANYWAY. GOTTA DO SOME WORK.#i wasted a lot of time today just. spiralling a little#so i didnt get much done#and tomorrow i have SEVEN FUCKING MEETINGS so am i gonna get anything done then? probably not!#and friday im gonna have to be on a call with a client who has really gotten on my nerves lately (lol thats like a quarter of them rn) and#i just dont want to. i would like to sleep#anyway sorry for this mess of tags for anyone who reads this jfc i just really needed to dump some thoughts#and didnt want to dump them on anyone in particular bc its a lot so ya know. voluntary dump recipients or aomethint idk#something*
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#delete later#every week is the same as the last. i need it to change. please#and not in a worse way again. i need it to change for the positive. please.#im going to be in my hometown in a week. i dont want to. but i need to. i dont wantttt to. i wont have a living situation sorted and#they're going to be weird about it and i don't have the ability to field that stuff positively bc all my positive thinking is going into#not having a breakdown so its gonna fucking suck. and im sngry and feel guilty im not moving closer but i caaaaaant without#things getting way worse mentally but i feel terrible about it bc i feel like i dont have an excuse for living so far away now#even though i dont NEED an excuse but i wish i had one. and im not allowed to die which is fucking annoying but its still working#as a coping mechanism so thats fine. im also. really upset that the insect thing ive been looking forward to for months i cant do.#it feels like a real kick in the face for wanting something. it was like my one thing to be excited for when everything felt#like it was falling apart abd then things fell nore apart and instead of insect joy im going to visit family and bask in that pool of grief#so. that's great. its just shit. and the only emotion i currently have access to is frustration and a bit of grief so thats also#not ideal. and im both dissociating so much and am painfully present which is a fun combo. shit just sucks abd theres no way out#currently. so i gotta go through it but im bad at that so im just miserable. might try to figure out a way to get the weoghted blanket#to hometown bc going without it is going to fuckinh suvk big time#i also need to have a hard conversation with someone who is way more into me than im into them rn. idk whether its bc i cant#access emotions rn or a genuine thing so im gonna have to communicate this bc otherwise it feels like im leading her on abd thats#shit. see thats one thing that is solidly in my court. like thats a my fault thing. everything else is just a shit situation#god life sucks sometimes. my mum always said things come in threes. i think im up to like thing five at this point
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medicinemane · 12 days
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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femonologue · 6 months
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Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.
I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.
A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.
"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.
She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"
"What's a tulip?" I ask.
"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."
"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.
I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.
"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.
I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.
It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"
I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.
"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."
I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."
We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.
I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.
By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.
Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.
When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.
After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.
I never see grunge girl again.
That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.
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nkogneatho · 3 months
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Y'all know those insecure girlfriends on tiktok when their boyfriend does their makeup accurately, they go “what bitch taught you that?” yeah, Gojo is the male version of that.
He knows he is attractive, and that everyone dotes on him. But you look out of this world. Everybody wants you. Like all of his friends have tried to hit on you a few times. They said it's just playful, but his insecurities kicked in.
One evening, you showed up to one of his totally unserious basketball games with his homies, cheering him every time he dunks.
“Suguru, my girl's watchin'. Gotta show off a bit, yeah?” he smirks, licking his lips his reflexes were so good that barely anyone else could keep up with him. It was like he had drank 10 liters of energy drink with the sudden speed boost.
You hopped in his arms when the match was over, peppering his face with kisses as he enjoyed his victory, showing a middle finger to suguru to which he rolled his eyes.
“you look so cool when you jump so high, toru!” you squealed in happiness. He really did look cool.
“hehe, you liked that, baby? Jumped a little higher just for you.” he kissed your forehead.
“hate to say it, but he is undefeated.” suguru spoke up. “feel like we need to put you on the court, y/n just to distract him so we can win.” your cheeks started burning up at that. You and satoru have been dating for a few months, but you were still not used to the way everyone talks about him as if he's a simp for you. well, he is and should be.
“i would still win though.” your eyes shifted to gojo. You were a little offended at that, even though it was just messing around. It was his habit.
“alright. Let's have a 1v1” the men did not miss the shift of your tone. Suguru knew satoru might be in trouble, while the white haired wasn't worrying about it too much. Because you're not too savvy with basketball aside from what he's taught you, and he is a pro. Sure, you would be mad later, but nothing he can't make up to you.
The boys spread in corners, as you and gojo exchanged a competitive gaze—yours was competitive and his was more of a “i love when you get riled up”—before the match began. The game was not anything serious, so all you had to do was score five points. It was a piece pf cake for gojo but you were being surprisingly competitive. You scored two points just as soon as he did. His homeboys thought that gojo was going easy on you but suguru knew he was struggling. But he lives up to his name and score two points, making him just 1 score away from his sweet victory. There's no way you can win now. If you miss this chance, it's over. But you remembered something someone had taught you and all that “i'd still win though” just pumped up enough adrenaline and oh. my. god.
Gojo's jaw dropped as you shot a three pointer, your lips widening into an evil grin, and all the boys cheered at your win. You were sure they're gonna tease him about today until eternity. Toru was impressed…well, for a few seconds before he hit you with a,
“which motherfucker taught you that? because I don't remember teaching you this yet.” you were laughing but his reaction was genuine.
“hey, c'mon now. don't call me a motherfucker.” suguru slid in, a hand resting on gojo's arm. “i'm a good teacher, aren't I?” he winked at you.
“the fuck? When the fuck did you teach her?”
“last week when we were playing at toji's party.” gojo was too busy playing beer bong at that time.
“thank you, suguru. And you…" you looked at your man, "where is allat “but I'd still win though” attitude?” you mocked him.
“ight fine. you got me. i was just messin' around and ya'know that. don't get mad at me, baby,” he snaked an arm around your waist. “we're both winners. We gotta celebrate properly, right?” he leaned closer to your ears.
“now let's see who wins in the bedroom, tonight. hmm? You know i gotta settle the score, princess.”
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clenastia · 1 year
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self confidence is a skill that can be learned and you have to let yourself and your art exist distinct from how others perceive it. you will never exist or create in a way that nobody criticizes and that is NOT a bad thing. you obviously care a lot about your work or you wouldn't fret over it this much, but fixating so heavily on the potential opinions of people you made up to criticize you isn't healthy and isn't doing you any good. you're allowed to set that weight down and I truly believe you can do it.
I do try! when i catch myself spiralling i generally try to forcfully redirect my thoughts, even if it means completely ignoring whatever triggered it, but unfortunately sometimes i feel like im stuck in a loop because thinking of getting published triggers spirals of anxiety so i cant think too much about it which means i never get around to DOING it which makes me upset because i've always WANTED to get published, but when i try to seriously consider it i get all tangled up in the anxieties and ugh.
in all honesty i fell into the trap of thinking therapy would be a quicker fix than it is, where the therapist could give me a list of steps to do and my anxiety/issues would go away once i did them. so i put a bunch of unrealistic expectations on therapy but unfortunately there IS no magical list of steps to making your brain work right. you just. gotta wake up every day and push your way through the spirals and face the things you're afraid of. meds help, for sure, i don't get panic attacks anymore and the anxiety doesn't stress me out so much i end up crying or shutting down most of the time. but like. everything else, the solution is just: ignore it. keep trying. and there's no. fucking. steps to just. "do these three things and your brain will work like a neurotypical one!" and it fucking sucks and i hate it and i still gotta keep trying if i wanna get anywhere.
I haven't been on meds for a full year yet, and therapy less than that, so im sure with time I'll get to a place where i CAN push through those specific fears and get to where i want to be, and that in a lot of ways i'm still just rushing things and wishing i could be better NOW instead of having to put in months and years of work.
a lifetime of self-worth issues don't get resolved with pills and six months of therapy, but sometimes its just so GODDAMN unfair and i just want a magic cheat sheet to getting better :(
or maybe someone who can do like. literally everything for me so i don't have to face it myself lol.
can there be a business for that? like. be your own ghost writer. someone else gets all the credit and hate mail and deals with all the publishers. but you get to write your silly little stories and still make profit.
that'd be nice xD
totally ripe for abuse and probably actually a terrible idea but like. in an idealistic way. it'd be nice. y'know?
#clena's ongoing issues with “i can't handle when strangers on the internet think poorly of me”#except. you know. that's basically the job of strangers on the internet.#i still get haunted by the one and only time i tried posting on deviantart#and one day when looking at someone's fanart and reading comments someone's signature said click here to see the worst art ive ever seen#and i clicked on it out of morbid curiosity and saw my own art#and never drew another fucking thing in my life because it hurt so much i couldn't handle it#it was probably a script link or something that randomly took you to one of your own drawings#and wasn't targeted at all#but it. you know. completely destroyed a teenage-clena's ability to continue with art#and now years later i WANT to draw but still struggle to get into it and tend to quickly give up on whatever i try#awful prank for strangers on the internet to pull on people. but then. that's what they do and if you wanna be on the internet#you gotta be able to put up with it.#assholes on the internet may be the minority#but DAMN if one well-placed blow doesn't do more damage than a thousand encouraging comments can hope to repair xD#and i KNOW thats why they do it. that those sorts of trolls live for the feeling of power that comes from knowing they can affect you#and that you shouldn't give them what they want and shouldn't give in to their petty bullshit#but it's just so goddamn hard. and there's no magic fix. which still pisses me off.#can i have my magic don't-give-a-shit-about-strangers-opinions potion. please. pretty please.#pretty pretty PRETTY please#i'd sell my non-existent firstborn for it#i would probably go through the grossness of HAVING a first-born for it#like. seriously.
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sunsburns · 16 days
Note
okay but logan taking an interest in neighbor who works in fashion?? he always sees her carrying stacks of magazines, dressed in her chic attire that is sometimes a bit too tight in all the right areas, glasses slipping off her nose, always making calls on that damn phone, and yet he always wishes she looked his way…
oh anon ur cooking here. i think this is what's pulling me out of my writing slump 🥴 (wade breaking the fourth wall, suggestive 16+)
the first time he noticed you, it wasn't even in your building complex, but rather the stairs to the subway station down the street. you were rushing up the steps while he, wade, laura and al were just about to enter. it was al who noticed you first, calling out your name and poking your side with her walking staff.
you shrieked, dropping one of the fabric rolls you had been carrying, a curse at the tip of your tongue before you realized who it was. "al," you sighed, a little relieved, when you saw her and wade, who was dressed in a "i love nyc" t-shirt.
logan, being the gentleman he was, picked up the roll you dropped, handing it back to you. it was then that you looked at him, or well, briefly glanced his way with a quick "thank you" before wade started fucking talking.
that son of a bitch.
he didn't even have the courtesy to introduce the two of you to each other.
it was obvious you were in a rush, lips in a tight smile as you nodded and tried to smile at wade telling you all about how they were about to "hit up" times square.
logan felt bad for you, but only a little bit. the longer you stayed to listen to wade's painful monologue, the more he could look at you. he was a little shameless about it, perhaps not the most gentlemanly thing he could've done, but god you were just a sight for sore eyes.
a pretty thing in a mini skirt despite the cool late september breeze that was starting to kick, white, lace and ruffled. delicate with tall brown leather boots. and a washed-out denim vest you wore as a top, two buttons undone, a little pink bow tied to the pocket. logan didn't know a lot about fashion, but he liked the way clothes looked on you.
and then you were gone, al kicking wade across the shin to shut him the hell up when she realized you were in a rush. she let you go, and you left, quickly trading numbers with laura and without saying much of a goodbye or another glance logan's way.
but he watched you go, watched the way your skirt moved with the wind too.
"yeah, look at it bounce. god, i am no better than any man. " wade hummed, leaning all his weight on logan's side. "i didn't peg you as a creep, honey badger. with the way you were undressing the reader with your eyes, i would've thought you were on a registered sex offender's list."
"shut the fuck up, wade."
logan could hear the way laura snorted, her and al continuing their way down the stairs.
wade held his hands up in surrender before logan could try anything (and by anything, he meant to cut him to pieces. wade can't deal with that right now, the blood would take ages to get off his white shirt). "i'm just saying, after living with us for a few months, i would've thought you'd met her by now."
logan raised his brow, "what's that supposed to mean?"
"i mean, she literally lives across the hall." wade turned his head to the side, pointing his thumb at logan, "he can't possibly be this stupid, right? it's gotta be for the plot to build up tension or something."
from that day on, logan's started to notice you more. not that he was looking for you, he's not that big of a creep. but he's spotted you out the window some days, running down the sidewalk, always in a rush. then he was able to hear the way you slam your door shut when you leave in the mornings or when you get back home.
every single day, you're usually out and about. unless it's a sunday, those are the days you stay in your apartment, sewing and hanging out with blind old al and sometimes even fucking laura. turns out, you were the one who got laura all of those new clothes, made them for her.
jesus christ, how out of the loop was he?
you stood out like a sore thumb, always carrying something. whether it be magazines, sketchbooks, fabric rolls, or bags, you're always struggling to open your door when you get home, keys sometimes slipping from your grasp as you're trying to juggle everything.
one day, logan had come back from a run and spotted you in the hallway. well, he had heard you from floors below and was able to pick up the lingering scent of your perfume by the time he entered the lobby. it took him a bit of courage to walk up the few flights of stairs knowing he'd bump into you.
what the fuck was this?
he was a grown-ass man for god's sake. you had him overthinking and blushing at the mere thought of being in the same space again.
when he saw you in the hallway, you were on the phone, the device tucked between your ear and your shoulder, cursing under your breath as you tried to pick up your keys. you were wearing a black dress that day, a black hat and a big maroon scarf around your neck, "no, emily, don't fucking buy it in that colour. it looks like fucking vomit. i don't care what amy told you, she's basically colour blind-"
you stopped mid-sentence when logan appeared in front of you, grabbing the keys for you. "oh- uh. thanks."
"yeah, no problem."
he noticed your nails and glasses were dark red to match the scarf. lipstick too.
you didn't mean to grow flustered in his presence, he could tell from the way you froze, as if you didn't know what was supposed to happen next. he had disrupted your daily pattern, everything in your life moving constantly and quickly but all of a sudden everything is slower. it left you breathless.
"you're logan, right?"
he furrowed his brows. he hadn't expected you to remember him, nevertheless, remember his name. "yeah."
"wade told me all about you," you said, and your eyes dropped from his face a little, then lower, a smirk not too different from a sly cat's. you were staring shamelessly, eyes following every part and curve of his body, the way his long-sleeve shirt clung to his skin with sweat. "you don't seem austrailan."
logan tried not to groan. the picture of wade's stupid face in his mind now that you've mentioned him. he hated that the two of you seemed close. "i'm canadian."
"aren't you full of surprises?" you laughed, a smooth, teasing sound, and finally pushed the keys into the nob, unlocking the door. you turned, lingering by the door as if you were about to invite him in, but then the voice from your phone was trying to get your attention and you nearly seemed disappointed. "i'll see you around, logan."
and you were gone again.
logan liked to see your different outfits every day, dawning a different style every time you walked out that door. it was like you could never settle for one style, but you managed to look so fucking good in everything and every colour you put on.
he could never get tired of it. never get tired of you.
you and your tiny bottoms that he swore were getting smaller and smaller every day, even though the city grew colder and the days shorter. you and your stupid phone calls that sometimes went on late at night. you and your clothes, every single one different from the last.
you and your sketches, the ones he had started to find loose pages on the floor of the small hallway between your apartments, pretty designs of lingerie on a model that looked a little bit too much like you for it to be a coincidence.
though you never made another attempt to talk to him, you knew he was watching you. but you never chased, your heels were too expensive for that. you were just trying to give him a reason to come on you.
to you**
to come to you.*
sorry. typo.
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writingouthere · 8 months
Text
bestfriendsbrother!Sukuna x pregnant!reader one-shot
summary: you're excited to finally share with all your friends that your pregnant when the party is interrupted by your best friend's older brother, who you didn't invite, but who you did have unprotected sex with less than two months ago.
cw: reader is pregnant, Sukuna is a bad dude, possessive behavior, minor smut, still as usual nicer than it sounds because I can't help it.
**************
"I'm pregnant!"
Your news is met with a period of silence before your friends look at each other, uncertain as to how to react.
Nobara finally breaks the silence, an eyebrow raised. "And we feel...."
"We're happy about it," you say and your friends are then quick to congratulate you. You hear some sort of scuffling happening behind you and you turn around to see Yuuji unfolding a "We're having a Baby!" banner which makes Megumi nearly jump out of his chair.
"Holy shit, did you two-"
"No!"
"Ew, no!"
Yuuji frowns at you. "The 'ew' wasn't necessary."
You and Nobara scoff. "It was," you tell him. "And I say that with all my love."
"Okay, so if this idiot didn't knock you up-"
"Hey!"
"-then who did?"
You'd been expecting the question and had prepared for it. "It was just a one night stand, he's not really father material." Everyone looks like they want to ask more questions so you smile at them, genuinely happy they all look ready to commit a crime for you. "It's okay, I have a good job and this is something I've wanted for a long time. This baby will be really loved because it will have me and, I hope, all of you."
Your friends are quick to agree and there's some lighter questions about potential names, nurseries and Nobara and Todo are looking at her phone debating baby onesies, when the door to you and Yuuji's apartment opens and someone you had definitely not invited comes in.
"Sukuna! You're late, you missed the big news," Yuuji calls out as he walks over and claps his brother on the back. A few people call out greetings as Yuuji's older brother looks around the apartment. His eyes linger on you for a second, a smirk tugging up on his lip before he notices the sign hanging crooked over the kitchen doorway and he laughs without an ounce of humor.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, you knocked someone up? You irresponsible piece of shit-"
"It's not his and don't kill him, you asshole," Megumi says from where he has now joined the onesies discussion and points over at you. "It's the other person who lives here."
Sukuna pauses from where he was about to murder his brother, to look back over at you. You wonder if his brain is doing the same cursed math that you had done when you were hyperventilating, holding a stick covered in your own pee, but before he could ask anything, Maki ended the silent stand off.
"And we're happy about it, so get happy you piece of shit."
With that, the party continues on, people breaking off until little groups and snacks being placed strategically throughout the apartment.
You're feeling thirsty, and a little exhausted from the burning stare that's been directed at you for the past hour when you excuse yourself from where Miwa and Mechamaru had been talking about their own future plans for children, who you're sure would be socially inept but gorgeous enough to make up for it, and made your way to the kitchen.
You were pulling out some water, no alcohol for you even though you really needed it, when you felt someone's presence behind you.
"So when were you going to tell me we were having a baby?"
"Never, because it's not yours," you answered firmly, slamming the door to the fridge for good measure. Sukuna leaned against the cabinet next to you but you'd known him long enough to see the pose for what it was. A ruse, a performance of casualness. The fingers on his hand tapped against his arm like he was playing the piano, one of the few tics he had that showed when he was feeling, well just feeling anything in general.
"Oh please, you're not fucking anyone else."
"You don't know that and we're not fucking, we fucked once. Singular, past tense."
He laughed and looked down at you, the same predatory look he'd had the night he'd helped you make this child.
"And once was all it took huh? Fucked you so good, you're going to have my baby," he says, voice mocking and he stands up to his full height which puts him over you. He takes the glass of water you're really regretting now, and places it on the counter opposite the two of you.
"It-it's not your baby," but you don't sound sure and he knows it and he presses up against you until your back is to the counter. Nowhere for you to run.
"It's mine, just like you're mine. I don't know who you think you're kidding with this denial of me but it's done now, sweetheart."
You go to answer him and Sukuna covers your mouth with his hand like the rude fuck he is and then leans down, his mouth next to your ear. You look around, worried someone might see you but the gap between the fridge and the counter conceals you both and the room next to you keeps getting louder and louder. The sun had set and there were maybe some lamps in the living room, but here in the kitchen it was dark.
"I let you have your space and your time, two months of it actually. I let you have your little moral crisis about fucking a criminal and it being the best dick you've ever had wah wah, but I was impatient before I knew you were having my baby, and now," he leans back so his eyes, and they're on fire his eyes, are level with yours. "I'm done waiting."
You tug on Sukuna's hand and he rolls his eyes before removing it from your mouth and places it on your hip which doesn't seem like a good trade-off but at least you can speak again.
"What does that even mean?" You ask him, your voice showing the incredulity you're feeling but if Sukuna had anything, it was audacity.
"I mean I'll give you a week to tell your friends you're having our baby and that we're getting married." He says it so seriously that you can't help but laugh which seems to be the wrong response when his other hand moves to your hip as well and squeezes, tight.
"We are not getting married, are you out of your mind?"
"Why not, we're already having a baby, are you going to deny me the ability to live with my own child."
"Still not your kid, and we can't get married Sukuna. We never even dated! We fucked one time, that doesn't mean we should just be together forever."
"We fucked for one night, it was more than one time-"
"Not the argument you think it is," you interrupt him but you still let him pick you up and place you on the counter. You sit there while he runs his hands up and down your thighs, the sounds of the party washing over the two of you as you stay in your little bubble.
"We'd be good together," he finally says. "Not just because I knocked you up on the first try." You hit him but he just smirks and moves his hands more purposefully on your legs. You let him pull them apart and step between them even though warning bells are going off in your head, telling you these are moves you'd seen before and they had led to you being in the predicament the two of you were debating in the first place.
"It's inevitable, the two of us. You can say you hate me, or that I'm not a good man, and that's true. But there's a reason why you've never stayed with any of those nice boys," he says and his hands slips up the skirt you're wearing to get at your bare thighs underneath. "Because you don't want a nice guy, you don't want a good man, you want me and I'm too selfish to let you keep torturing both of us by doing this pretending shit."
The fingers on his right hand press against your cunt through your panties while his other hand squeezes your thigh and he moans sinfully into the quiet air.
"God, I knew I didn't make up this warm, wet cunt. Been fucking my fist until I chafed the past two months just thinking about it."
You whimper as he moves your underwear aside and slips one finger up and down your slit, not touching your clit or going where you want him, but doing enough that you move against his hand.
"This does not mean that we should get married," you protest and he teases a finger against your opening, pulling it back when your hips tilt up in an attempt to get him where you want.
"Why not? I heard pregnant women get super horny, what are you going to do without me around to make sure this filthy pussy gets stuffed just the way she needs." He finally slips one finger in, his thumb moving to tease against your clit, just the way you like it and your head smacks back against the cabinet. He moves the hand that had been on your thigh up so he can cradle your head.
"I'm sure I could find someone willing to help me out," you say scoffing and his hand freezes which makes you whine a little and try to get him to move again but his legs limit your range of motion.
"You ever try to fuck someone else ever again and the coroner is going to have to get dental records to figure out who the dumb fuck with no fingers, no eyes and no cock is, you got it?"
He's not joking, you know he's not joking but it doesn't stop you from leaning forward until you finally get your lips on his. He hums into your kiss, cupping your cheek in his free hand while the other one goes back to opening you up. You're so wet that the kitchen fills with the sounds of his him finger fucking your cunt but you can't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. He's not wrong that pregnancy has made you more sensitive, or maybe it's just you not having gotten laid since the two of you had slept together.
He's got three fingers in you when you come and he swallows your moans greedily with mouth while his fingers slow inside of you, curving just right to make you think you could probably come again soon, oversensitive or not.
Before you can test that out, he pulls away from you. He licks the fingers he pulled out of you clean and you you're reminded of how the last time he'd made you come twice just with his mouth.
"Where are you going?" you ask him, a little more breathless than you like.
"We are going home," he tells you, grabbing your hands and helping you down off the counter. Giving you a kiss on your forehead that you would tease him for if you were anyone else.
"Home?" you ask, confused because you are currently standing in your apartment unless his orgasms suddenly give one the power to teleport.
"Yeah, our home, not the shitty apartment you share with my brother. I mean we'll have to get somewhere bigger soon, for our baby."
For the first time since you found out you were pregnant, someone who was not you laid out their palm on your still just the same stomach. There was no change from how it always looked but Sukuna looked smug just the same and you felt like you were still missing a few things.
"What-"
"I mean I can fuck you here, I just thought your sensibilities and the fact your friends were all out there would make you uncomfortable."
Your post orgasm flush finally leaves you and you look up at him in panic. "Oh my god, do you think someone saw-"
"It's okay, Fushiguro kept them out I'm sure."
You don't want to know but ask anyway. "Why?"
"Because he walked in earlier and looked like he'd seen a ghost. Tell me, is the kid still a virgin? He's pretty but I can't imagine he has a lot of good options in your crowd."
When you leave to go to Sukuna's, the only people who don't look confused(or horrified in Yuuji's case) at your departure are Maki and Megumi.
If the confusion hadn't been cleared up by the time the baby came, the pink hair probably answered any follow up questions.
dealing with some writer's block and had this idea. didn't feel like writing a whole smut scene, my b but saving that energy for the next(?) neighborsukuna x singlemom one.
side note: Megumi is scarred for life, for sure. Yuuji gets over his horror once he's an uncle.
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cassidyandonlycassidy · 2 months
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tornadoes aren't more important than you
tyler owens (twisters) x reader
Tumblr media
words: 1.5k
warnings: pregnant!reader, married!reader, established relationship
“be careful, yeah?” you place your hands on tylers cheeks, tilting his head down to look you in the eye.
“i wish you could come with me.” tyler sighs, leaning in and pressing his forehead against yours, his cowboy hat tipping upwards and off his head, clattering onto the hardwood.
“i know.” you miss it. the excitement, the fear, the anticipation of storm chasing. “but i don't think the baby would like me getting whipped around.”
tyler chuckles and presses his hands to your stomach, fully showing now that you've reached six months.
“im gonna be safe and im gonna be back home to you real soon.” tyler kisses you deeply, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you in close.
“uh, not to interrupt-” 
“you are interrupting, boone.” tyler looks up at him as he stands in the open doorway, trucks filling the driveway.
“we were just finishing saying goodbye.” you raise to your tiptoes and give tyler one more peck. 
“i love you.” you whisper against your husbands lips.
“i love you, baby.”
“ew.” boones nose scrunches up, still somehow not used to seeing you kiss despite being married for a year now.
“you stay safe too boone.” you point at him, watching as they head out the door and pile in the trucks.
you wave goodbye to everyone, tyler getting in last as he tips his hat he grabbed off the floor towards you, a silent promise to come back home.
you sigh as you watch them pull away, hand stroking over your belly as the trucks disappear in a cloud of dirt. “it's okay.” you whisper to the baby, but it's mostly for yourself. “daddy will be back.”
--
“hey.” you answer the phone with a smile on your face. “i watched the live stream.”
“pretty fucking cool huh?” 
“pretty cool that you let boone drive the rig.” you chuckle, knowing tyler did that specifically for you, to show you that he can let others take the lead, let them be the one to drive into the tornado.
“how's my baby doing?” tyler asks, ignoring your teasing.
“which one?” you giggle, laying a hand on your stomach. “im good, baby is kicking a lot though.”
“put me on speaker.” tyler requests. you roll your eyes but still turn the volume up and hold the speaker up to your belly.
“it's daddy.” tylers voice is half strict and half high baby voice. “you better stop giving your mama grief when im not there to help her. behave for just a bit longer, buddy.”
“i hope he listens to you.” you shake your head, bringing the phone back up. “how's the storms looking for tomorrow?”
“tracking a couple cells.” tyler confirms. “im coming home friday no matter what they look like over the weekend.”
“mhm, sure.” you roll your eyes, although you don't doubt it. now that you're pregnant, tyler is even more protective over you. he knows you can handle anything, but that doesn't mean he's going to force you to do it all on your own.
“i will. already miss that pretty face baby.” his country twang is music to your ears as you hum out.
“i miss you too. miss kissing your lips.”
“you're killing me, sugar.” tyler groans. you hear dani shouting something in the background.
“i-”
“you gotta go. i know. love you.”
“love you more, darling.”
--
you have tylers livestream on in the background as you clean the house, feeling the urge to nest and get everything prepared before you're too pregnant to do anything, and tyler certainly wouldn't let you lift a finger when hes home.
you always dreamt of a beautiful old farmhouse like this all your life, but before you could move in tyler insisted on building a proper storm shelter to keep you safe.
you unpack some of the boxes of things you bought for the baby's room, sticking to yellows and oranges to keep everything brightly colored and cohesive, in contrast to the darkening sky.
you're not right in the path of tornados, but they have been known to swing up and hit the closest town every couple years.
you know the cloudy sky is just a result of all the activity further to the west where your husband currently is.
you look back to your phone, watching for a moment as his handsome face turns to look out the window. you can see the reflection of the twister in his eyes, a mix of awe struck and fear that any man within his right mind would feel.
“god-” you look up to the ceiling. you're not the biggest believer, but growing up in the south has you always reverting to whispering a prayer. “keep my husband safe.”
--
you let out a yawn as you adjust, not knowing for sure the sound that woke you up until you hear it again, your cellphone vibrating on the nightstand.
“hello?” your voice is groggy as you answer. you didn't bother to look at the contact name, there's only one person who would be calling you at this hour. “tyler?”
“baby, get to the storm shelter right now.”
“what?” the words have you instantly awake, hopping to your feet and looking out the window of your second story bedroom. “it looks fine.”
“im- just trust me! are you going?” you can hear the nerves in tyler's voice as well as the roaring of his truck no doubt speeding down the road.
“yes.” you confirm, grabbing one of tylers sweatshirts and slipping it over your head before finding a pair of shoes. “im going down the stairs right now.”
the second you step outside, you can feel the shift in the air.
“im tracking it on the data. we reported it but they said it's not on their maps as if our equipment isn't ten years newer.”
you listen to tylers rant as you round the house to pull open the storm shelter doors. it's not a glamorous area, small and tight but completely concrete and filled with a couple boxes of supplies.
“im in the shelter, ty.” you reassure him as you close the latch. “im safe. the babys safe.”
“it's building.” tyler says, no doubt looking at the radar or getting reports fed to him from boone. “im coming home to you, ill be there in two hours. fuck it, make it an hour and a half.”
“it's wednesday.” you state, although its just after midnight so technically thursday. “you said you weren't coming home until friday.”
“that was before a torando was gonna hit you. baby, i don't want you to go through this alone when you're pregnant.”
“ill be fine.” you reassure tyler. “but if you want to come back and make sure, you're more than welcome. like i said, i miss your lips.”
“gonna give you lots of kisses to make up for being gone.”
“i won't argue with that.” your phone beeps and you pull it away from your ear to realize you're losing service. “i think we are going to disconnect soon.”
“stay on as long as you possibly can.”
you try, but your phone beeps again and the call drops out.
sitting alone in the darkness heightens your other senses, feeling the cold air sneaking in through every available crack as your ears pick up the sound of the wind roaring.
you close your eyes and press your hands against your stomach, softly singing a nursery rhyme that your mother sung to you when you were a baby, your eyes sliding closed as you fall back asleep.
--
you're startled awake suddenly as the door rips open, only for tyler to quickly enter.
“is it over?” you ask, standing up and wobbling slightly. tyler grabs your hips, holding you up and looking at you up and down, his eyes examining you. you watch the stress and fear and anxiety melt away to be replaced with softness and love.
“it's over.” he confirms, tugging you in close. 
“the house?”
“a busted window and a downed tree blocking the driveway. that's all.” tyler presses his nose into your hair, inhaling the scent.
“wasn't bad then.” you wrap your arms around his waist, enjoying the warm embrace.
“no, but i got so fucking scared knowing you were here all alone.” tyler pulls away only to help you up the stairs, hating seeing you confined to the shelter even if it is to keep you safe.
“i just… i can't do this while you're pregnant. i can't leave you here, or anywhere, alone knowing something could happen to you.”
tyler pulls his phone out of his pocket and navigates to his youtube channel, going live and waiting for a couple users to join.
he holds the camera up so he can see himself and you, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulders.
“as you folks know, my lovely wife here is pregnant with our first child. as much as i love tornado wrangling, i love my girl more. for the next six months im going to be taking a step back, but don't unsubscribe, boone is taking over to keep the excitement coming.”
he doesn't even say goodbye, simply ending the livestream, knowing one of his followers surely recorded it to spread the news around.
“ty, you didn't have to do that.”
“yes, i did.” tyler bends down to lift you up, carrying you across the threshold of your house just like he did the day you got married. “im gonna be with you throughout everything. tornados aren't more important than you.”
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