#no but hear me out okay lemme cook

[cltclgcy]

@0blivion , ‘ You’re a constant pain in my neck. ‘

the creature sits, perched menacingly upon ring apron. it's funny, really. she finds humor in the other women's nativity, not because they're not formidable opponents, but because no one, absolutely no one outside of her parents and her judgment day family knew what she was capable of. it's a magic so dark, so arcane and powerful that she could end the world if she wanted. but, no one needed to know that, right?

sapphires rolled into the back of her head as boots sway to and fro. " i mean, i could give you a pain in y'er neck if ya'd like, lass. " brow lifts, and in a blink she jumps down to stand before liv. she's every bit her mother's wrath and father's vengeance, a brutal combination of two particular brands of irish temper, on top of demonic intent that's all too real. she's practically chomping at the bit for blood. " ... just name a time and place. " a wag of finger, as if morgan is just giving her ideas.

" let's make it interesting, too, hmm? i hear there's a vacant women's title just dying for a new waist to call home. what'd ya t' ink? " she leans in closer, a venomous serpent coiled to strike. " sounds like fun! "

[catsukkii]

Clumsy love — katsuki bakugo.

In which…

katsuki is cooking in the kitchen, and you accidentally surprise him, he turned around to quick and hit you :( ..maybe it’s a good thing though.

Pairing; Katsuki Bakugo x Afab!reader

Content contains; fem!reader, angst/comfort (but mostly comfort), Prohero!katsuki, sweet kats, maybe a little ooc (sorry..), use of “babe, baby, doll, ‘kats’”, swearing, cheesy cheesy love stuff, mentions of blood, reader getting hit (on accident).

Word count; 1.4k

a/n; this feels rushed but I think it came out pretty cute — I also rewrote like ALL of this it went from 1.0k to 1.4k with my edits to the story..I’m scared to post this pls tell me y’all fw it 🙁 if smb already wrote this IM SORRY I don’t have an @ or anything, I cant remember if I took inspo from someone or was creative for once 😢

katsuki was stirring a pot over the stove, the boiling water and smell of the delicious stew he was cooking wafting through the air. Katsuki always loved to cook for you, no matter how tired he was. He’d cook a million times a day if it meant he got to see you light up at his thoughtfulness, not to mention he’s practically a 5 star chef.

He was pacing around the kitchen to grab various seasonings, vegtables, and other simple things. You wanted to show him some silly video off your phone, so you walked from your shared bedroom and approached him from behind, I suppose he didn’t hear you coming until you were right behind him, tapping him on the shoulder excitedly.

“kats, look-“ but your words got cut off with a mean ‘smack!’, the back of his hand making instant contact with your nose, your hands instantly reaching up to cup you’re now bruised nose as you squeak out an ‘ow ow ow!’

“holy shit!,” he exclaimed. “babe, I’m so sorry.” he drops everything, the spoon dropping into the pot, water splashing lightly with a ‘plosh’. He rushes over, grabbing your wrists lightly; a worried mixed with guilty look on his face.

“it’s- mmm fuck!” you grit out through bared teeth. “it’s fine, not ur fault kats—“ you hiss out, eyes squinting and ur brows furrowed from the sharp pain stinging in your nose. He was a pro-hero, and strong obviously, so when you startled him, he hit you with a lot of might. (all might reference.)

“no no—shit!- that’s not fine babe..lemme see cmon.” he stutters around, searching for the right words. you could tell by the glint in his eyes, and the way they softened, by his brows and the way they softly perked up and furrowed, by the tiny pout on his face, just how absolutely worried and awful he felt about himself right now. He slowly went to move your wrists from your face, careful to be gentle with you. You let him move your hands away from you’re poor injured nose slowly, tears stinging the corner of your eyes from the pure pain that spiked through you.

“aw fuck, y’r bleedin babe, cmon…” a unfamiliar gentle—? no…soft? yes but no—….worried? tone? yeah. worried. He knew you were okay, it wasn’t broken although it might feel as bad as one for a few minutes, nonetheless he hurt you.

his rough fingers wrapped around one of your wrists gently, guiding you to the bathroom, your other wrist still clutching your nose, trying to not let the gross metallic blood drip onto your nice clean floors. also to keep pressure on it, though it certainly wasn’t making it feel any better.

he sat you down gently on the lid of the toilet seat, both of your hands now cupping around your leaking nose, he settled on grabbing some toilet paper for a quick fix and wrapping it around his calloused hand. He rested on his knees to look up at you and get a better view to clean the blood. yet all you could think about was katsuki bakugo, was fucking kneeling on the ground for you. of course this didn’t even cross his mind in these conditions, all he could think about was the fact he did this, mistake or not, it was him. he tilted ur head back gently, his finger tips resting under your chin. He cleaned the blood spewing from your nose with softness and delicacy as if you were a porcelain doll. It was uncharacteristic of him to be so soft and gentle with you, of course he was a sweetheart to you, and he had his soft touchy moments, but it was still quite early in your relationship and katsuki was always a closed off person. Safe to say you knew he felt fucking awful.

“kats, ‘promise I’m okay, don’t feel bad, ‘ts not y’r fault.” You reassure him with a raspy tone considering ur head was tilted back, your vocal cords pressing closer to the front of your throat. you were still in pain and reassuring him. how could you be telling him it’s okay? reassuring him? he should be reassuring you.

“no no—fuck shhh, don’t say none of that shit..” he grumbles out, still focused on your nose, the bleeding was slowing down to a halt which made him grateful, he gently pulled the tissue away and threw it in the bin, he stood back up; his knees popping, (~~he’d kill you if you brought that up any other time~~.) hand gently caressing and looking at your nose, rough finger tips softly rubbing around and up and down your, now, less bloody nose.

when you look up at him with your big teary eyes and pouty lips, he can feel his heart shatter impossibly further. Once he deems your nose worthy enough to stop being catered to, he looks down at you with a big sad face and caresses the side of your head, cupping it with his big coarse palm, the weak look in his eyes just about broke your own heart into a million tiny pieces. you can’t help but melt into his touch, extending out a hand to carress his face aswell, cupping eachothers cheeks with the harsh cool lighting of the bathroom, the dried up blood still partially down your nose; the color of your skin turning a purpleish-blue around the area.

“kats…” you pout at his sad defeated look. “I’m okay, I promise. It wasn’t even your fault, I jus’ caught you off guard. don’t blame yourself baby..” you attempt to reassure him with a soft gentle tone. katsuki wasn’t used to this, someone being so soft around him, speaking to him in a sweet tone. He couldnt even begin to know what to do. The consistency of your thumb rubbing back and forth softly over his cheek, everything was to much.

“I know—I know but I hurt you baby. me, I did. I never wanted to do that, and I did. I can’t believe myself an-“ you could tell he was going to start a pointless ramble about himself, so u cut him off with a gentle shush, your delicate fingers draping over his lip in a playful manner, a soft smile tugging at your lips. You didn’t wanna hear him say such mean things about himself, especially when it truly isn’t anybody’s fault.

“shhh…katsuki.” he listened. as he always did to you. “don’t beat yourself up over this please..” to him your voice was like honey. sweet and smooth, just the right consistency. “things happen. I’m fine, the pains already getting better,” a small weight lifted off his shoulders as you reassured him the pain was already starting to fade.

“I love you.”

oh. you guys were dating but you’ve never went that far. he feels his heart pick up in speed, freezing, you were starting to worry you made him uncomfortable. why can’t he speak? why can he feel himself sweating? his hands are getting clammy, and he feels like the world is crashing around him.

“…I love you.”

he said it. you didn’t expect him to but he did. you didn’t make a big deal out of it, instead just smiling brightly up at him, your eyes crinkling as it always did, it was truly his favorite sight to see. He would never admit it, but he’s truly down bad for you.

“and I know you’ll still love me even if I’m all bloody and bruised.” you joke with him lightening the mood, he lets out a airy laugh pulling you into his chest gently, tilting your head so your cheek is smooshed against his chest as to be careful of your nose. maybe it’s a good thing katsuki hit you, maybe if he didn’t you wouldn’t of said I love you. maybe he wouldn’t of gotten vulnerable. The terms are silly of course, and it will be a funny story to tell down the line.

maybe katsuki does seriously love you.

“yeah. I will, doll.”

A/N guys I’m shaking before I post this

[ichnit3]

NEW POST!

@/LUUVNANA: HE’S SUCH A DAMN PERVERT!

(not stolen just old work from my last blog)

The thought of him tracing his hands down your curves while he goes down on you, eating you out with no breaks as your hands try to push his head away. “no more please!” gets him excited. he would find every excuse in the book to stay.. “just one night!”, “we have been drinking and i don’t wanna drive drunk”, “let’s have a sleepover! i’ll cook for you”. Once he hears that yes he knows it’s show time. If y’all were drinking he would stumble over to wherever you were lay his head on your lap and start caressing your leg to set the “mood” before drunkenly kissing your lap and trying to convince you to take them off.

“It’s too hot baby let’s take it off.. I don’t want you to pass out”. If you took the sleepover option he did cook for you; once he’s done he’ll try to feed it to you and purposely waste it on your shirt so you would have to take it off. while you take off your shirt his eyes stare at your chest as they bounce every time you move. “omg I'm so sorry my love let’s take this off, okay?” (he had that sick perverted smile) He convinced you to let him stay? he goes for the shot, pushing you up against the wall of your place. “you look so.. fuckable..” hell this man is SUCH a PERVERT.

but lemme stop cause we ALL know im fucking him after im done with this 😜 cant wait for him to fuck me soooooo good😩

[peaches-creek]

When he walks through the door, you are cooking. Smells like something Italian but maybe not. He hears the bubbling of a pot and a searing of a pan. He crouches as he takes off his boots, caked in dirt and stinking of something foreign. He can’t greet you after a month like this, covered in grease and smelling of gunpowder and sweat. You heard him drop his duffle bag. He hears do drop the spoon you were using and the pitter-patter of your feet coming to greet him. Your smiling face turns the corner.

“You’re home.” You gently say as you walk over to him. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into your arms with his face in your neck. You pull his mask off and give a kiss to his temple.

“I smell.” He says.

“Everyone smells,” she quips, “lemme hold you for a minute.” He lets her do exactly that.

After a minute or so he tells her she needs to finish cooking, and that he needs to shower. They can have a meal together and then take a well deserved nap together.

While he’s in the shower he takes his time decompressing. Trying to become Simon after a month of being Lt. Ghost. He thinks of what you might be cooking instead of the mistake he made that almost costed Price his life. He uses your conditioner and gingerbread body wash, knowing that you wouldn’t mind. You never do. It shocks him, every time, when he thinks of how much you Love him. You know what he does, and you still call him your “cutie-patootie.”

By the time he’s out of the shower, dinner is on the table, warm and on his favorite blue plates. You made him lemon breaded chicken and garlic parmesan pasta, his second favorite dish, first being his mother’s meatloaf.

“You smell familiar.” You laugh.

“This smells great,” he states, “not as good as me though.”

You place a kiss on his lips.

“Okay now that you have kissed the chef, you may eat your meal.” You move to the other side of the table, sitting across from him.

“Catch me up, what did I miss?” He says.

You spend the next half an hour talking his ear off as he shovels food into his face. He prefers that, not only does he like hearing your voice but it also helps him settle in. Hearing all the things that you did around the house, putting up new pictures, the ones that you took when you guys went to see the Eiffel Tower. You also got a few new plants, and told him that you waited for him to get home so you could name them together. You also said how you started watching some new documentary that he had to see.

He spent his whole life moving from one place to another, barely living. Now he has you. You move him and he moves you. Once he was finished with his plate, you took it to the sink and placed it on top of the others, you can do those later, it’s time to put your man to bed. He deserves it.

“Okay now, let’s get you to bed.” You pull him up and drag him to your shared bed. It’s quite a funny thing to see, such a large man getting dragged through the halls just to be tucked into bed.

You reach your destination. You let go of his hand and pull the covers back. You settle yourself in first, waving your hand to tell him to come in. You then maneuver him to put his head on your chest.

“All settled in?” You ask. He nods his head. No words needed. He was exactly where he needed to be. You begin to rub his back as he slowly finds himself falling into a sweet sleep, courtesy of you.

[joonberriess]

⋆ TAGS — really soft and domestic, TW: this deals with postpartum depression, baby daddy!jk, soft lil kisses, insecure!oc, angsty as hell, this is more of a comfort fic, mentioned baby, oc rlly struggles but jk is super supportive, mentioned past pregnancy, this made me cry, soft hours, jk pampers his lovely gf, CANON AUUUU JK’S JUST JK HERE LMAO

⋆ WORD COUNT — 2.4 k

“vámonos a comer un heladito, tu princesita, cómprame cositas. en mis tacones casi todo el día, dame un foot-rub and ice out mi tobillo,”

Your eyes fluttered under the feeling of lips sliding across your forehead, eyelid, and nose. You hear Jungkook laughing quietly as he envelops you in his strong arms and tugs you close. His murmurs and pestering have you pulling a face in your sleep, nose scrunched cutely given the way he coos teasingly.

“What time is it?” You mumble softly and blankly stare back at him, eyes heavy from sleep.

“Noon.” This has you going stiff, “Relax baby, he’s okay your mom came early to pick him up.” He comfortingly strokes over your side and backside.

You sink back into the sheets and nod, “Why didn’t you wake me?” You mumble under your breath as your eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook pressed more gentle kisses to your forehead with a low rumble, “You need a break, figured maybe we could go out–do some shopping, go to that sushi place you’ve been dying to try.. That sounds good, yeah?” He murmurs.

You hum, “It does, feels like I haven’t been out in forever.”

He waits with a bated breath and smiles softly when you open your eyes and stare back with more clarity, all traces of sleep etched away. “You’re so pretty, y’know that?” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face.

A subtle heat rises in your cheeks as you smile back, “Even with baby barf and spit all over my shirt?”

“The prettiest.” He leans over to kiss your nose, looking into your eyes with a twinkle in his own. He looks at you like you’ve just hung the stars for him.

Shyly, you press a soft smooch to his lips before flopping flat on your back with a sigh, “The fridge’s nearly empty isn’t it?” You mumble, “I’m sorry, I meant to go the other day but I ended up—”

“You’re fine, it’s okay. You know I’m here too right?” Jungkook reaches over to hold your hand, “Don’t worry about it baby, you’ve got your hands full right now and I get it. ‘s okay to ask for help too.”

You look at him with a soft smile, “I love you.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and roll out of bed to head to the bathroom.

Jungkook huffs, “Only one? On the cheek too..” He grumbles like a petulant child, sitting up in the messy sheets tangled around his hips and his bare chest out for your viewing.

“Get ready, it was YOUR idea to go out too so don’t make us late.” You fondly roll your eyes, you can hear him whine about something else behind you as the door shuts.

“…..” You pass in front of the body length mirror, pausing for a moment to observe your appearance. Your hands come up to rest over your tummy as you stare long and hard. “…”

You better get ready.

.

“y/n.”

“y/n?”

You snap out of your daydream and look over at Jungkook curiously, “Yeah?”

“I asked if you wanted to check out the fruits, it’s strawberry season and I’m sure they brought out all the fresh stuff.” Jungkook doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that you’ve spaced out for a second time since entering the store.

You shake your head, “I don’t like strawberries.” You say disinterestedly.

‘But you ate them your whole pregnancy, what’s wrong now?’ Your brain is screaming at you to just say yes and deal with it but you can’t.

He gives a soft hum, “That’s fine. Is there anything you wanted to get?” He steers the shopping cart away from the fruits, leading you down an aisle filled with spices and other cooking ingredients.

“Um, what was that thing you bought last time? When you made that white stew.” You scrunch your nose, “Ugh I forgot.”

“Ohh, you mean the cream stew mix? Uhh I think it’s down this aisle lemme check.” Jungkook leaves the cart with you as he trails down the aisle looking up, down, and around.

You pick out a few things to try out later on and happily make your way over. “Did you find it?” You curiously peek over his shoulder, damn near yelling because he shoots back up with a ‘ah-ha!’.

“What?” He innocently says after noticing the scowl on your face.

“You scared me.” You huff and punch his arm gently, “C’mon, I wanna get some chips and the aisle is back that way.” Jungkook happily trails after you, telling you all about his upcoming Calvin Klein campaign.

.

“Look,” Jungkook snorts as he holds up a pair of lace g-strings, “you mean to tell me this tiny triangle covers your entire pus–”

“Jungkook!” You hiss quietly after noticing a few older women turn their heads, “Put those down.” You snatch the panties away and toss them back into their respective drawers.

He cheekily grins and picks up another pair of underwear, “What? I didn’t do anything, I was just asking.” He chuckles.

“You are so dumb.” You giggle quietly, “Stop!! You’re going to get us kicked out, I thought I had one baby not two.”

“But babyy this is so boring, jus’ a bunch of girlie stuff and these women keep lookin’ at me like I’m a creep but I swear I’m just trying to help you.” He pouts.

You shake your head fondly, “Here, go find something to buy or do while I finish up here.” His eyes light up and he presses a messy smooch to your cheek before practically sprinting out.

Your eyes slowly turn over to the mannequin sitting tall on the platform donned in a new lingerie set. You stare at it for what seems like eternity while the world goes on about their day around you. Eventually a staff comes to break you out of your bubble.

“Is everything okay miss? Were you interested in our new spring collection?”

“Oh, um yeah, well I’m trying to surprise my boyfriend you know? I don’t know if he’ll like it ‘n stuff.” You murmur softly, eyes lowered and averted from the mannequin.

“Mmm.. what do you like?”

“Silk, maybe a babydoll or teddy..? I think.” You can’t stomach the idea of wearing a two piece, because then that means your….

“We have just the set then, we got a ton of new items for this spring. ” She grins while leading you away.

When you come out of the store, Jungkook’s barely walking back. He has this goofy little smile on his face as he stops in front of you, barely containing his excitement. “Guess what.”

“What did you do?” You giggle softly and eye the bag in his hand.

“I got this for you.” He brings out a large shirt and holds it up proudly, “It says: Best Milf Ever.”

You stare at the words with disbelief and then you’re breaking out into uncontrollable laughter. People around you look in curiosity but you can’t stop, you feel like you’re about to pee from how hard you’re laughing.

And Jungkook?

He stands there with a fond smile, gazing at you lovingly as he puts the shirt back, “You like it?”

You haven’t laughed nor felt this much joy in a while. “I love it.”

.

After having dinner Jungkook takes you out for ice cream. You were a bit burnt out from being out all day so you waited in the car while he went inside to buy the ice cream.

You think back to everything that happened today, it feels nice. You make a mental note to ask Jungkook to take you to a cat cafe sometime later on in the week. “Oh my god.” You mutter in embarrassment.

Jungkook’s walking back with a monstrosity of a ice cream sundae and then your perfectly NORMAL scoop of sherbet with gummies on top. “Jungkook what is all that mess?” You whine.

“What? I wanted triple chocolate with sprinkles and fudge.” He slips into the car and hands the small bowls over, “C’mon you gotta try it.”

“Hell no! This looks like it can either send me to do number three or I’m gonna puke my guts out.” You hiss.

“Number three doesn’t exist, nice try.” Jungkook scoffs softly while pulling out of the parking lot.

“It does now.” You mumble, ignoring his loud laughter.

You can’t hide the face you make while Jungkook eats that horrendous dessert. He doesn’t even care that you’re judging him as he happily watches his little Netflix show he’s been yapping about as of lately.

“I knew it, it was her all along..” He mutters to himself as he eats a large spoonful of ice cream.

“I’m going to the kitchen, you want anything?” You can’t take it anymore as you stand abruptly and pass by.

“No.”

You put your ice cream away and drink a glass of water in the kitchen. You enjoy the peace and quiet, it’s been a cool minute since you’ve had some time to yourself. Between caring for a newborn and balancing your everyday life, shit’s been hard.

Not that Jungkook doesn’t help, but sometimes you feel like you put too much on him. He says he doesn’t care but.. you do.

With a heavy sigh you leave the cup in the sink and trail over to your bedroom. The dainty lingerie bag sits on the corner of the bed, you have yet to try it on but you don’t know..

“Fuck it.” You mutter while stripping down and slipping on the pretty babydoll top and matching thong to go with it.

The soft pink and silky smooth feeling of it has you smiling to yourself over how pretty it is on you. The set even came with a robe so you slipped that on too and tied it securely around your waist before heading back out to show your lover.

“Jungkook.” You call out, “What do you think?”

He pauses his show and looks over, his eyes visibly glaze over as he takes you in from head to toe. “Pretty, I like it—pink suits you.” He beckons you over.

Right, he thinks it’s just a robe.

You walk over with a soft hum and stand between his legs, “I got something else, it’s under.”

His eyes darken and he licks his lips, “Can I?” His hands hover over the sash. You can’t help but shiver with the way he looks at you like he wants to eat you alive. Makes you feel hot.

“Yeah..” Your voice comes out breathier than usual, a hint of excitement underlying your tone.

Jungkook unties the knot and slowly pulls your robe off. “Fuck.” He whispers when he sees the pretty babydoll underneath, he gets a peek at your thong too and he’s nearly drooling.

“Shit baby you look so fuckin’ pretty, look at you,” he gently twirls you around with a low whistle.

His hand hovers over your ass, not quite touching but there. You gently pull his hands closer with a soft, “You can touch.” You murmur.

Jungkook audibly gulps and grabs a fistful of your babydoll, he lifts it up enough to slip his hands around both cheeks. He gives both doughy cheeks a tight squeeze before he’s jiggling it in the palms of his hands.

“Can I baby?” He asks softly, “I wanna take you to bed.” To that you nod.

Before you can get another word out, he abruptly stands and hauls you up into his strong arms. You squeal in shock and hit his shoulders, “Jungkook..! Put me down!” You whine.

“No.” Jungkook smirks as he lands a sharp smack to your ass, “Let me take care of you yeah? Just sit ‘n look pretty for me.” He carries you down the hall and kicks the door open, gently tossing you onto the center of the bed.

You bounce back on the mattress with a soft ‘oof’, he doesn’t let up because he’s already crawling over you and landing a sweet yet heated kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around him and hug him close, enjoying the soft touches.

Jungkook takes his sweet time kissing you, the kiss is slow and his touches are light and feathery. He holds you like you’re made of glass or something, gently cupping your hips and massaging them. It tugs on your poor heart strings and you find yourself tearing up for no reason..?

He pulls away with a soft pant, pressing his forehead to your own as he stares into your eyes with devotion. “Why are you crying baby? Hm? Why’s my pretty girl sad?” He wipes your tears with his thumbs.

“B-Because, you’re so good to me.” You softly hiccup, “Feel safe with you.”

He brushes your hair out of your face and smooches your nose, “Yeah, what else baby. Talk to me.” He murmurs patiently while cupping the side of your cheek.

“You don’t make me feel alone.” You whisper, and his heart breaks seeing you this vulnerable, “I-I know I haven’t been there for you b-but with the baby and–”

“And who said you needed to take care of me? You already have enough with the baby, you spent nine months carrying our baby and you worked hard to bring him into the world my love. Makes me proud of you baby, strongest girl I know.” He softly smiles.

Your heart races and you feel a knot in your throat as you continue listening to him, “You’re going to be okay—we’re okay. You know I’m always going to be right here for whatever you need, you’re doing so good my love.”

You let out a soft sob and bury your face in his shoulder. These past two months of silently struggling with coming to terms of your newfound motherhood and changes with your relationship finally come to a stop. You feel good knowing that Jungkook is so understanding and supportive.

For a while you thought you were going insane, that it was your fault and you were a horrible mother for feeling so…bad.

Even when you were bedridden for days, void of any life and emotion, Jungkook is still here.

“I love you.” Jungkook whispers.

“I love you too.” You sniffle.

Jungkook helps you slip into one of his shirts as the two of you cuddle for the rest of the night watching silly rom-coms. You know the future will be okay.

Everything is okay.

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @frieschan @lilyflowerguk @sayokodiary @babycandy111 @looneybleus @ash07128 @gyukookswhore @rrosiitas

[konigofmyheart]

warming könig up

“lemme come warm you up, you been out in the snow/ baby my tongue goes numb, sounds like ho,ho,ho”

<MDNI>

(smut, blowjob, gn!reader, no actual mentions of christmas!)

° :. ★　 * • ○ ° ★ ° :. ★　 * • ○ ° ★ ° :. ★　 * • ○ ° ★

you and könig rent a cabin in the woods for the holidays, taking advantage of his many accumulated vacation days (imagine the look of surprise on his superiors’ face when they saw his week-long time off request! they actually did a double take as könig had only ever taken an average of two days off each year- never around the holiday season- before he started dating you).

a couple days in, after amusing yourselves hiking through the woods to take in the scenery (thoroughly bundled up to stave off the chill of the snow), soaking in the giant hot tub in the bathroom (he can finally stretch out in a tub for once!), and having lengthy movie nights, könig ventures out to chop more firewood for the rustic fireplace in the den. the house is warm enough, but the moment you remarked how you loved the fireplace and how it makes the cabin feel amazingly cozy, könig made a vow to always keep it lit for you. you’d assured him it was fine, that you didn’t need it permanently lit, but he wouldn’t hear it. why shouldn’t his liebling get every single heart’s desire?

when he comes back in, shaking snow from his heavy winter gear as he hauls in bundles of wood, you apologize for the umpteenth time. “nonsense, schatzi, you have nothing to apologize for. i love doing things for you, being useful to you” he hushes as he sheds his layers and boots, walking over to where you sit on the couch armrest. he leans down, gently pulling you in for a kiss. you shiver, gasping softly at how cold his lips feel. “come here, kö. you’re freezing!” you fuss, leading him over to the couch and pushing on his chest to get him to sit. you place your blanket around his back like a cape before taking his hands in yours, rubbing warmth back into them. he brushes off your fussing, acting like he doesn’t live for your loving and doting.

your chest tightens with affection as you think of what a wonderful time you’ve had at this cabin thus far, all thanks to könig’s planning and effort. you settle on the floor before him, the plush rug cushioning your knees comfortably. “what are you doing, schatzën- ah” he ends with a hushed groan as you lean forward, nuzzling at his cock through his pants. “just thanking you for the perfect vacation, mein könig”, you flutter your lashes at him, your voice velvety soft.

his eyes darken like turbulent oceans at the sight of you looking up at him like that. it’d make anyone weak in the knees. your teasing nuzzling has his cock hardening, filling out to its full length, and the moment a barely-there whine slips from deep inside him, you move to undo his pants and free his cock. normally you’d tease him for longer, see how long he lasts before he gets truly needy, but this is supposed to be for his benefit, a thank you for everything he’s done to make this the best vacation ever. you gently brush your fingers against the tip of his cock before wrapping your hand around it, stroking him at a slow, steady pace.

“thank you for having this idea, first of all. then thank you for picking the prettiest cabin ever. thank you for letting me sleep the whole drive up here, although on the way back i’m definitely staying up to keep you company on the drive , and you’re going to wake me if i start nodding off, okay?” you pause for a moment, looking up at him expectantly

“okay, but you really don’t have to-” his breath catches, muscular thighs tensing as you keep up your steady pace on his cock, his precum dribbling down the side to help your efforts.

“thank you for cooking every meal, especially because you’ve made just my favorites- don’t think i didn’t notice. tomorrow i’m making your favorite, and i’m not hearing otherwise. understood?” you scold, rubbing your thumb over the tip of his cock. he nods quickly, a breathy “yes, schatzi, whatever you say,” slipping from his lips.

“…and, obviously, thank you for the fireplace. you always do everything to make sure i’m happy, and for that i can’t thank you enough, but i can try to do the same for you, hm? what do you think?” you’re leaning forward a bit now, your warm breath ghosting over the sensitive head of his cock. forgive him for his incoherent, stuttered response, he doesn’t really understand words at the moment, even less so when you place a teasing kiss on his tip.

you can’t help but laugh softly as you seal your lips around him, sucking gently, earning a strained groan from your man. he’s practically gone entirely pliant, the sight of such a strong, man falling apart because of you going to your head a little. your contented little hum sends torturously delicious vibrations down his cock, making him twitch inside your mouth. now, you know you could make him cum in seconds if you wished, but you really want to treat him, reward him for being so good. you maintain a steady, slow pace, easing more of him into your mouth with each bob of your head as you stroke the base with your hand.

you make sure to do everything you know he likes, maintaining eye contact as you sink your mouth lower, hollowing out your cheeks, swirling your tongue around his length as much as you can (it’s a bit difficult with how big he is; there isn’t much room left in your mouth). he’s practically floating in the clouds at this point, the way you’re sucking him off drives him crazy. time slows, suspending the two of you in this moment where you are all that exists for him, and he’s all you know. he’s looking down at you with such an affectionate warmth in his eyes, as if you hung the very stars in the sky. you’re sure your expression is no different, dutifully working your way down until the tip of his cock is brushing against the back of your throat. it took you a while to be able to take this much, and from the feel of what you’re still stroking, you still have a ways to go before you can take him all the way.

there’s time for that another day, though, and even könig seems to agree, his hands gripping the couch cushions as a way to stop himself from pushing you further than you wish to go. he’s always like that, putting you before him, isn’t he? you pull off his length, voice a little breathy as you praise him for keeping his hands to himself. that praise earns you a pathetic little whine, a sound that’d make him blush if he weren’t so close to cumming. you stroke his length with both hands as you catch your breath, cooing sweet words at him that he answers with groans and whines, his cock twitching in your hold.

“you wanna cum in my mouth? you know how much i like it, kö,” you tease, tilting your head to the side as you look up at him through your lashes. you kinda have to do this to get him to cum in your mouth, otherwise he’s insisting on just cumming all over your hands, not wanting to pressure you into swallowing it if you don’t want to, but now that you’re asking him for it… well, he did agree to “whatever you say”. he nods, a hushed “ja, schatzi, bitte” dropping from his now bitten lips. you smile, leaning forward to take his throbbing cock back into your mouth, warming it once more.

you look up at him with a special glint in your eyes, knowing all it’ll take is one more push. that push comes in the way of your free hand cupping his heavy balls, teasingly toying with them as you intensify your efforts, relishing in the way he trembles. he moans your name as he cums, the sound like music to your ears, spilling into your mouth with each twitch of his length. your muffled whine around his cock only adds to his pleasure, especially with how that makes your throat squeeze around his sensitive tip. careful not to overdo it, you maintain the pace of your hand and mouth, steadily working him through his high. you take his seed as it comes, swallowing every drop like you were made for it.

once he’s spent you pull off, panting softly as you lick your lips clean. “and now thank you for cumming for me like that, baby,” you tease, smiling as he pulls you up onto his lap, his hands soothing stroking your sides. he buries his face in your neck, little tremors still running through his body as he comes down. “i’d do anything for you, liebling. anything.” he whispers quietly, his breath tickling your neck before he pulls back, kissing you passionately. you melt against his body, answering his loving licks with your own, getting lost in the feeling of completeness. you’re more than surprised when he pulls away from the kiss, pushing you onto your back on the couch. he grins deviously as he settles between your spread legs, his big hands squeezing your thighs. “kö, what are you-”

“now it’s my turn to thank you for that, schatzi”

[appleblueberry-pie]

Im back with another yandere satoru request hehehe

So, I was wondereding what would happen if Satoru's beloved found out about his very unhealthy obession with her?

Hold on, lemme cook rq- So, instead of getting the fuck away from him (like most logical people would do) she decides to try her best to get him some help. Like, she'd confront him about his very distirbing behavior, (basically tearing down his entire facade and presenting it to him) and when he's begging her not to be afraid of him, not to abandon him, she tells him that she wants him to get help.

Heres where I kinda got a little stuck....the thing is...he would listen to her every beck and call, but would he really get the help he needs, or would he decieve her and trick her into beliving that he's getting better when in realitly he hasn't changed at all. (He's just alot more careful about what he does behind her back.)

Mkayyy, thats all folks. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

You kept hearing noises from your backyard.

It woke you up. You couldn't really recognize what it was, but you really hoped it wasn't raccoons eating your berries again. You admit, your garden has many fruits and vegetables, but you certainly didn't want them being eaten. They took too long to grow! So, you got out of bed, threw on your robe over your night gown and quickly made your way downstairs to your backdoor.

When you opened the door and stepped onto the grass, everything seemed fine. Your strawberries were intact. Carrots still growing. No lemons dropped from the tree. But to the far right, you did see a familiar figure continuously puncturing another man's insides with a pretty dangerous looking knife thing.

Someone was in your yard.

Someone was being killed in your yard.

You're within distance of a killer.

By the time the realization set in, the familiar looking man had already saw you staring at him. It was Satoru Gojo.

You both stared at each other. It grew painfully silent and you took a step back, your eyebrows furrowing. You began hearing your heartbeat in your ears and began breathing faster. Your lips separated, probably to scream, and Satoru dropped the knife, immediately running over to you to shut you up in time.

When he trapped you in his arms, you tried to scream in surprise, but he already had one of his hands covering the entire bottom half of your face. "SHHHHHHHhhhhhh. shhhhhhhh. shhhhhh." His heartbeat thumped against your upper back and you tried to look up at him. He was already staring down at you with those big blue eyes and you tried to take his hand off of your mouth. "It's okay, baby. You're alright. It's alright."

Well, he didn't kill you, so clearly you didn't have to be scared. You still tried to talk and he tilted his head. "......you gonna scream if I let you go?" You shook your head. He stared down at you, as if he was trying to catch you in a lie. But then he laughed and finally loosened his hold on you. You took his hand off of your mouth and turned around. "...............Why are you killing someone in my yard?"

He says nothing.

You try to look back at the corpse and he blocks your way. "Fertilizer."

You avert your gaze and hug yourself. "For your tree."

"I already fertilized it two weeks ago. You were there. It doesn't need fertilizer until like a few months later." Satoru goes silent and sighs.

"Alright, babe. You caught me." He stalks closer to you and stops when he's directly in front of you.

"I killed him because he was a terrible waste of space." His smile was unnerving and you only felt more uncomfortable and confused. "What....?" "....He was useless. And he got in the way." The way he spoke made things a little awkward between the two of you. Did this have something to do with you and him? You hoped not. But with the way he said it, and the way he was staring at you began giving you confirmation that this was the case.

"He doesn't deserve you like I do." You inhale sharply and take a step back towards your door. "Satoru-" "No, I'm serious."

"You can't just....kill someone. He's dead!" His shoulders shake as he laughs at your statement. "You think I don't know that? That's the whole point. To die." You shake your head, "I-I need to get you help. This isn't okay. You shouldn't think it's okay to kill someone just to....I don't even know."

"To have you," He states. But you didn't hear. You were already back in the house to research different forms of treatment he could possibly receive. You didn't know what you were going to do with the body.

Satoru did plan to use it as fertilizer.

He lied to you for 12 weeks. And he hated every second of it. He never liked hiding shit from you. Which is why he straight up told you that he killed that dumbass from a while ago. You deserve better than some liar. But he'd be damned if he let some random take you away from him. So, he told you that he was going to the therapist that he been paid off and also killed.

He told you the body was taken care of and you didn't have to worry about it. After all, your tree leaves looked perkier than usual(he didn't tell you that either).

When you heard he was consistently meeting with his therapist, you let him take you out more often. You let him hang out at your place to have sleepovers if you had the time, and you realized that you might have a small crush on him. You shouldn't have a crush on a killer, but here you were. You should've called the police on him a long time ago(not like he'd get rid of them either), but he promised you he'd be good. And he has been. So you trust him.

Satoru learned to stop doing things like being a killer when you're around. It was smart to do it at night. But definitely not where you live. Probably the stupidest thing he's ever done. He should buy that house a few towns off. Everyone would be better off dying in there anyways, especially if there'd be no trace of them in the first place.

He's lucky you're gullible.

[enchantedlov3r]

hi angel, are you doing okay? <3

I hope you're doing okay angel, ily 💗

can I request some Daryl Dixon fluff please? maybe something like, wounded Daryl comes across the reader in the forest and passes out at her cabin's door. She brings him inside and treats his wounds, she lets him rest in her cute small bed. I'll let you write the rest <3

thank you angel - lily <3

I'm getting there, all your kind words are making me cry, but I'll be fine love, thank you<3 ily more🎀

Can be found in masterlist as: Saviour

"ah fuck!" daryl grunts out holding his side. a arrow hit him when he was trying to take out these men.

he was out on a walk just to think, maybe hunt and find something to bring back to alexandria but he ran into these assholes.

he got hit, and now he's bleeding out and lazily taking out walkers trying to find his way back home.

he comes across this house though, but it looks lived in. he sits on the porch for a second and then he feels tired so all of a sudden he falls over and he's out like a light.

you were cooking when you heard a thump outside. scared you flinch and gasp quickly grabbing a kitchen knife.

you slowly tiptoe outside and make your way towards the door. you cautiously check all the windows and then unlock and open the door.

you gasp when you see the big brute of the man laying on your porch with blood everywhere.

"oh my god!" you drop the knife and run over to him quickly. you bend down next to him and check his wounds.

"it's too dangerous out here, let's get you inside." you say trying to communicate with the unconscious man.

you drag him inside with whatever strength you seemed to conjure up and rested him on your couch.

you run to the bathroom and get some medical supplies you've found or stolen(killed to get.)

you lift his shirt and pry off his vest. your treat the scar that has now formed on his skin. you stitch him up until he's good as new.

you smile at your work and clean up the blood of your hands and the bloody wipes.

your boiling some warm water when you hear grunting. you look over and find the strange man waking up.

"oh no no, don't move the stitches might break, p-please stay down. here, come to my room. c-can you walk sir?" you ask him trying to get him to get used to your presence.

"where the hell am I? who are ya?" he says gruffly with a accusing tone.

"i'm the girl that saved you from being walker dinner, so please just hold onto me and lemme help you, ok?" you say sweetly as you smile at him.

He grunts and let's you carry him to your room. your room is green and full of little daisys all around the room on the wallpaper.

you have little jellyfish hug on strings from the ceiling and little plushies and stuffed animals littered on your bed.

"here, lay down while I make you some tea ok?" you smile and let him lay down.

you quickly rush out and get the tea bag and put it in the cup.

you come back to the room with the tea all brewed and serve it to him.

the tea is in a cute little teacup that is placed on a plate with a side of little biscuts.

"here, bon appetit! enjoy." you say placing it on the nightstand next to him.

you sit down on the far side of the bed while you watch him scarf down the biscuits and slowly sip the tea while making eye contact with you.

"so, what's your name sir?" you ask, fiddling with your bed comforter. he looks at you and you swear you could see a tiny sideways smile.

"mhm, daryl ma'am. what's yours sunshine?" he rasps. you smile at the nickname and chuckle.

"y/n, my names y/n. nice to meet you daryl."

[kibblz-n-bitz]

Unabashed

Summary: Luffy wants you. He isn't afraid to tell you, either.

Warnings: Needy Luffy, rough sex, biting, breeding, I'm just really horny for this guy ok i'm practically writing this half asleep, NOT beta read

"I want you."

The statement made you choke on the drink you had lifted to your mouth. You coughed and sputtered as Luffy stared at you. There was no embarrassment or shame laced into his features. He'd said it so casually, as if complimenting the weather or Sanji's cooking.

The two of you had been helping Franky move some supplies into the storage room. You'd just finished moving the last set of boxes and were sitting in the room, relaxing with your captain with a drink Sanji had bought you. He ignored Luffy's pleas for one, so the two of you were sharing the fizzy beverage.

You were giggling at some joke Luffy had made before he paused and stared at you. He had tilted his head, almost as if he was confused, before confessing to you. Without missing a beat, Luffy leaned down to wrap his lips around the straw from the cup that was still in your hand. You blinked, dumbfounded.

"L-Luffy, what do you mean?"

"I feel all funny whenever I'm around ya. Down here." He took your other hand, bringing it to his lower abdomen. You could feel his muscles twitch underneath your palm. He was warm. "And it means that I want ya."

Heat rushed to your cheeks. How your captain was able to say something so bold without batting an eye, you'd never know. But this is Luffy you were talking about. It's not much of a surprise, either. You looked down to where your hand rested on Luffy's stomach. You bit your lip, thinking for a moment.

"Lets... take this somewhere else."

With that, you grabbed his hand and led him to the girls cabin. It was the middle of the day, so luckily Nami and Robin were out on the ship. Luffy giggled as you dragged him into the room, before slamming the door and locking it. The moment you had him in the room, you pushed him up against the door.

"Are you sure?" Your lips were inches away from his. But you needed to hear it. Luffy snorted.

"'Course I am."

You surged forward, planting your lips on his. Luffy grunted into your mouth as you brought a hand to tangle in his hair. It was surprisingly soft. His hands landed on your hips, squeezing ever so slightly. You sighed into his mouth as he led you backward. The back of your knees hit your bed. You pulled away from your captain, placing a gentle hand on his chest.

"W-wait." You pushed him backward, much to Luffy's dismay. He pouted at you and you giggled. "Just lemme get undressed, okay?"

Realization dawned on your captain. He nodded and went to remove his own clothes too, placing his straw hat on your night table. His top was easy to remove (since his shirt was open all the time), but his leg got caught in his denim shorts, causing him to stumble a bit. He finally righted himself with an aha! By the time he looked up, you were already naked, blinking up at him.

"Take what you need from me, Captain."

Luffy grinned like a madman, jumping into bed with you unceremoniously. You laughed as his actions caused the bed to sway and you both ended up in a tangle of limbs. It was silly and so Luffy, you had known getting into bed with a man like him would be fun. You had liked him the moment you'd joined the crew. This felt like a dream come true, in the arms of the man you'd been thirsting over for so long.

With a giggle your hands grabbed Luffy's face, bringing his lips to yours once more. He groaned, rutting his hips into you. He needed to be inside of you so badly. You giggled, taking one of his hands from where it was clenched in the pillow beside your head. You brought it down between your legs.

"Gotta warm me up first, captain."

You weren't sure how experienced your captain was. The man hardly ever showed interest in people, at least not in a sexual way. You'd heard of beautiful women courting him, only to be turned down with a smile and nonchalant, "no thanks!" But regardless, he seemed to get the picture. His eyes lit up and he kissed you, before nuzzling into your face and neck. His index finger swiped through your folds.

"You're so wet, Y/N." Luffy breathed, licking and sucking at your neck. His finger circled you clit a few times, and he giggled as you squirmed. His tongue traced your collarbone as he plunged his finger inside you.

You whined, gripping his hair. He pumped in and out of you for a few moments, curling ever so often. You could tell he was being careful, it was like he would try a different angle and listen for your reaction before continuing. When he added a second finger you let out a whimper.

"M-more, Luffy. please."

Without skipping a beat a mouth sealed over your nipple at the same time his finger curled inside of you. You moaned, squirming against the boy. His fingers fucked you deeper, harder. His other hand came to play with your other nipple. Your head rolled against the pillow and Luffy bit and sucked your chest. God, you couldn't even imagine the way you'd look in the mirror tomorrow. It was too much, and not enough at the same time. You needed more.

"Fuck! Luffy," You panted and tugged his head off of your chest. He had been humping against your leg and drooling all over your chest. You didn't want him losing himself before he had the chance to fuck you.

"C-can I put it inside ya now? Please?" Luffy whined, nuzzling against your face and rutting himself in between your folds. You kissed him, biting his lip and reveling in the whimper he let out.

"Yes captain. Fuck me, please." You sighed against his lips. Luffy groaned and pushed forward, pushing his cock into you. Your moans bounced off the walls of the cabin. Huffing, Luffy withdrew his hips before pushing back into you. His movements were a little stiff, too calculated, like he was trying to gauge your reaction first. He was fighting the urge to bury himself into you over and over, so as to not hurt you.

"I-is this okay, Y/N?"

You smiled, wrapping your legs around the boy hovering over you. You kissed the scar underneath his left eye and took his face in your hands.

"Let go, Luffy. It's okay. I can handle it, I promise" You peppered reassuring kisses to his face, causing him to giggle. He nodded and wrapped his arms around you, angling your hips a little higher. His face buried into your neck as his hips moved faster, deeper, fucking into you like his life depended on it.

You moaned and held onto your captain's shoulders. You were certain that any one of your crewmates walking past the door could tell what was going on inside the cabin by now. Luffy moaned and whined, drooling all over your neck and shoulder. He was moving purely on instinct, length pushing against your cervix with every thrust.

"Ya feel so good Y/N," Luffy had huffed after a particularly harsh thrust. "So- ngh haa- so warm n' wet."

His words made you clench down on him, earning a moan from the both of you. He rutted against you wildly, moving purely on instinct. He would grind against the deepest parts of your body before thrusting, shallow, like he couldn't stand to be outside of you for more than a few seconds.

"C-close- Luffy!" You gasped, writhing in his arms. He whined as you tightened and fluttered around his length. His hand snuck down to rub at your clit, trying so desperately to feel you tighten around him again. You cried out, hands scrabbling at your captain's back and back arching off of the mattress. Your orgasm spurred Luffy into his own, as his thrusts seem to trip and stumble after pressing himself as deep as he possibly could inside of you.

You both gasped for air as you cam down from your highs. Luffy sighed and kissed you again, bringing you back from your daze. It was good. He was definitely slobbery, but you didn't mind. Luffy was passionate and wild and you loved him. So when he rolled off of you to lay beside you, you smiled at him before pressing your body against his. He accepted you happily, wrapping his body around you immediately.

"So, how was it?" You giggled against his lips.

"It felt amazing, Y/N! Can we do it again?" He beamed at you. You smiled.

"Later, Luffy. Right now I just want to hold you."

"OK!"

A few seconds went by in a comfortable silence before you looked up at Luffy to find him looking down at you, a lazy smile spread across his face. You sighed, rolling your eyes. You tried to fight the smile wiggling onto your face as you hooked a leg over your captain before rolling on top of him. Luffy burst out laughing. Once again you rolled your eyes before pressing a kiss to his giggling lips.

"I spoil you too much, y'know that?"

[sparkshock]

Age order of the Nublar Six

Okay. So like, I know people have their headcanons and shit, but I want to know if there is any ACTUAL confirmed age order besides what we already know. Like, I know Darius is the youngest, followed by Brooklynn, then Ben & Sammy, and finally Yaz & Kenji. But I scoured the interwebs and I couldn’t find anything confirming who was the oldest. I’ve seen some people say Yaz, some people say Kenji. Is there a definite answer or are we going based on headcanon?

If that’s the case, lemme cook here. This is all based on my own observations with my own headcanons sprinkled in. Feel free to disagree or call me out if canon contradicts anything.

Yaz: Oldest.

Born April 13, 2000.

10th grade/Sophomore in high school.

She drives the van in S1, indicating that she also has her learner's permit. Unlike Kenji, she seems to have a better grasp on driving, which means she's likely been doing it longer.

I headcanon that Yaz is from Seattle, Washington. The legal age to get a learner's permit in Washington is 15, which checks out.

She's always felt like the oldest to me, just based on how she acts. Obviously her maturity doesn't directly correlate with her age, but I think there is usually some overlap with that.

Kenji: Second oldest.

Born October 19th, 2000.

10th grade/Sophomore in high school. He is technically supposed to be a freshman due to cut-off dates, but his dad paid to have him move up a grade to be around people who would “be a better influence” on him.

He mentions that his dad locked the penthouse because he failed algebra, which is typically a course taken in freshman year, and Kenji doesn’t seem like the type of guy to take advanced classes.

I headcanon that Kenji is from Miami, Florida (based purely on the fact that my beta-reader said "he looks like a creature from Miami"). The legal age to get a learner's permit in Miami is 15.

Kenji has his learner's permit, but isn't comfortable behind the wheel, indicating that he hasn't been driving for very long.

(he kind of acts like a freshman. no shade but some of y'all are annoying as fuck. love kenji tho <3)

Sammy: Upper middle.

Born March 29, 2001.

9th grade/Freshman in high school.

She gives big sister vibes, so I feel like she would be next up.

Ben: Lower middle.

Born August 26, 2001.

9th grade/Freshman in high school.

He would be one of the youngest in his grade due to cutoff dates.

It just feels right to me.

Brooklynn: Second Youngest.

Born May 17, 2002.

8th grade.

She is taught by 100% online tudors so it’s hard to determine where she falls on the education scale, but I would assume she learns at an accelerated rate.

Darius: Youngest.

Born January 4th, 2003.

8th grade.

I think he turned 13 pretty early on.

He’s one year ahead in school, so although he SHOULD be in 7th grade, he’s actually in 8th grade. This could have happened for numerous reasons, but I'm just gonna say he was smart and skipped a grade because the school recommended it.

Obviously, a lot of this is just shit I made up, so feel free to disagree. Or, if you like any of these headcanons and want to use them in your own work, go right ahead! No need to credit me. This is how I’m gonna do it in my fic lol. But I’d love to hear other people’s opinions/analyses!

[losver07]

i was thinking of the marauders (unexpected i know) & thought "wow peter is sooo boy scout coded" & then realised THEY ALL ARE like hear me out on this

peter: the "noooo i dont wanna wake uuup i dont care if its raininnnng lemme sleeeep", incredibly good with maps ("oh i know this place like the palm of my hand" tho they are in the middle of nowhere), "guys i brought macadamia nuts for snacks :)" (he's the only one who likes them), entered the group later than the others but is very committed

remus: cares a lot about the environment ("EH DO YOU KNOW WHAT A BLOODY TRASH BIN IS?"), "are you gonna eat that? thanks mate", obsessed with wood carving & knives for some reason, always injured but always keeps going ("i am as capable as anyone" but he's trying to hike a mountain with a sprained ankle), starts talking about botanics as if it were band names ("ooooh i fucking love camomile!"), grumpy because "i still don't get why they won't let me have my fucking morning coffee" but also the kind to stop & take breath while very philosophically saying "guys look at the view", crazy about morse code & trail markings

sirius: acts like he doesn't care but shows up early to every reunion, "can i organise this? i love telling children what to do" (kids absolutely love him), sneaks in his phone & cigarettes to camp because if he doesn't smoke he can't sleep (remus smokes with him), is incredibly good at tying knots, has creative ideas and writes the most deep & heartbreaking things but never shares with the rest of the group, his scarf/necker is full of pins & likes to make bracelets with threads or grass, cares a lot about social issues and i mean A LOT

james: has a heart of gold, helps people on the street out of spite ("we're still scouts even when we're not at camp"), "okay guys we HAVE to win this, we are going to be THE BEST TEAM to play capture the flag EVER" (he's mad about capture the flag i am very serious about this), takes a picture with every animal he sees, "wdym it's cold? it's 50°, that's like, a lot", also loves walking & hiking, & always offers to help cooking or organising activities, always the first to start singing while they're walking & then everyone else joins in

[southparktexts]

hi bby! saw ur reqs are open and ur inbox in empty!! so lemme get main three with a makeup gf who wants to do their makeup/skincare :3

AAAA OMG ITS BAE !!! HII BABE ABSOLUTELY YOU ANGEL !!

Doing Makeup on the Main 3

stan;

- okay, you know that episode where stan has a band and he plays a song abt him hating living on a farm?

- if you get it you get it

- you unironically already do his makeup for him

- but not full face though

- you help him with eyeliner on his under eyes

- i can see you bringing up the subject

- one day you were hanging in your room

- stan resting his head on your lap as you play with his hair silently

- eventually you got bored.

“stannnn can i do your makeup?”

“..why? im not performing anytime soon.”

“please..?”

“..fine”

- okay some headcannons time

- you do his makeup on his lap

- you’re doing concealer and he’s rambling to you about a fight with his dad.

- actually kinda stress relieving to him.

- i can see him as a cautious boyfriend when you do his foundation.

“ah- not the eyes..”

“careful.. the beanie..”

- also will slightly regret it..

“this is so gay.. you’re lucky i love you.”

- he doesn’t want to admit that he loves it.

- after you’ve cooked you show him and he gives you a ‘good job’ nod and kisses your forehead.

“..okay get this off me.”

kyle ;

- hear me out, kyles always had a fascination with makeup.

- i can see kyle watching his mom do her makeup and just being so interested.

- naturally, he was curious to see what he would look like with makeup.

- one day he was over at your house, you guys had a date planned in a few hours and you were doing your makeup

- kyle being kyle he watched, noticing how you grew more and more frustrated with your eyeliner.

- wiping it off with a q-tip aggressively.

- he continued watching as he thought to himself

- ‘if only she had someone to practice on..”

- he turned out to be the perfect person.

- he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheeks.

“do you wanna practice on me, love?”

“wait.. really?”

- the way your eyes light up, it made him want to ask that question all the time just to see your reaction again and again.

- while you’re doing his makeup he’ll ask you questions.

“soo is this.. blush..?”

“no baby this is concealer”

“oh.. what does that do?”

- he actually was interested and learnt a lot from you

“so now we’re going to use some setting spray.”

“oh i think my mom uses that!”

- off topic but he definitely remembers your shade and buys you makeup pallets and new products.

kenny;

- okay. okay. LET ME COOK.

- so as a juggalo myself, juggalos have events called ‘gathering of the juggalos’

- kenny and you were conveniently going to this event.

- as an icp fan its important to have the iconic black and white clown makeup!

- although you and your boyfriend were over at your house getting ready.

- when you saw kenny using bad drugstore makeup to do his clown face.

“uh.. ken?”

“yea hun?”

“do you want me to do that for you?”

“sure darl’”

- you had to scrub that shit off his face but it was so worth it.

- in the middle of you doing the white foundation you had just done prior on his face he’ll lean in a kiss you

“kennn!! no kisses”

“sorry doll, can’t help it.”

- the most laidback of all the boys

- will randomly kiss you all over

- but he doesn’t stay still when you’re doing the clown features in black.

- after your done cooking, you show him in the mirror.

- he does some silly poses, making you laugh and kisses your forehead.

“i love it my little juggalette”

“i love you to my juggalo”

reqs are open !! also i cooked wtf??

[feederheart]

I had caught her.

This was the third time she had shown up this month and this time, I didn’t have to wait for nearly an hour after I had closed up shop for her to finally show up. This time she appeared as if she were ready for a date. She adorned a nice dress that showed off all of her curves (especially her gargantuan belly that hung below her hips), she wore makeup for the first time, and her hair shined like a new car outside of its usual hastily-tied bun. Usually, I took the extra time to get cleaned up and change out of my chef’s uniform; I was covered in fruit preserves and my arms felt a little sticky. This time, however, I didn’t want to take my eyes off the beautiful enchantress before me. It was as if her planetary body came with a gravitational pull that had trapped my gaze.

“You got the goods?” she asked with more assertiveness than usual.

Her beautiful, dark eyes looked at me with intense hunger; it was equal parts arousing and terrifying.

“You’re making this sound like a drug deal,” I chuckled.

“C’mon, I’m hungry,”  she pleaded, my joke falling flat on its face.

“Alright, relax, I’ve still got you,” I said.

I already had exactly what she wanted; I had stashed all of the leftover pies by the rear door in anticipation of her arrival. I reached for the brown bags each containing four whole unsold pies and handed them to her.

“Got any more?” she asked.

“Really?” I asked, amazed by her gluttony; eight pies is a lot. “You want more?”

“They’re good!” she replied, blushing ever so slightly. “I mean- really good. You knocked these out of the park!”

Then it was my turn to blush; compliments for my cooking or baking are my heart’s kryptonite.

“Thank you,” I replied. “But I’m not sure if you can carry any more without dropping or crushing one.”

“How about I just ate one?” she suggested. “Before you threw the rest away.”

“Right here?” I asked, turning around and scanning the interior of the restaurant. “I don’t know, The Boss is strict about giving away food and I don’t want you on the security camera.”

I then pointed to the camera right above the back doorway.

“We’re lucky this one doesn’t work right or else I wouldn’t be able to sneak anything to you.”

“Th-that's okay, I’ll sit right here,” she replied matter-of-factly as she waddled a few steps forward and plopped her huge, round ass onto the floorboards of the rear porch. The wood creaked loudly and her fat spread out across the surface like thick pancake batter poured on the griddle. She then reached into one of the bags and grabbed a blueberry pie sitting on top of the surface along with a plastic fork.

I stared at her, unable to take my eyes off of her quivering rolls that jiggled as she rocked back and forth trying to get comfortable on the hardwood surface. As she finally stopped and her fat jiggled and quivered for a few more seconds, she turned her head and looked up at me.

“What?” she said as if taking a fork and eating an entire pie was a completely normal thing to do. “I’m hungry, I’ve barely eaten anything today. I’ve had, like, a half-pounder at Fudruckers and some Chipotle today but that was it.”

“Oh nothing, there’s no problem,” I said nonchalantly. “Lemme finish cleaning before I get the rest and lock up shop.”

I turned around and finished cleaning the kitchen for the day, I snuck a few glances at the beautiful woman happily gorging away at the pie I made like a greedy pig, shoving massive forkfuls of fatty, sugary, blueberry goodness into her mouth, her arms quivering with each forkful. I could just barely hear her humming happily as she ate over the sounds of the sink and clanking pans. As I wiped down the sink, I could see her throw the now-empty pie container aside and get started on a new pie, this time a special cognac and peach pie I won a baking competition with. As she got her fill, I could see her adjusting her dress as her belly swelled with the delicious dessert. She rubbed her corpulent tummy and let out a small burp as she put away the now-half-eaten peach pie and tossed it next to the blueberry pie dish.

I fought to hide my arousal as I grabbed two more pies and handed them to her.

“Thank you- urg,” she groaned as she rose to her feet slowly, weighed down by what must have been a quarter-ton of fat plus one and a half pies. “Oh that was so good, holy shit, these are really the best pies ever.”

“Thank you,” I replied, feeling a rush of giddy warmth flow through me. “You know, I may be a baker but I’m a damn good chef too. How does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound?”

“Yeah that sounds amazing,” she replied rushedly as if her gargantuan stomach made that decision for her before she could think about it.

“Excellent, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I replied happily.

She grabbed the pie-filled bags and waddled back to her car, her belly looking the roundest I had ever seen her. She stopped once and set down a bag to adjust her dress one more time as it rode up her fat-laden thighs before picking it back up, waddling to her car, struggling to fit her gut behind the wheel, and driving away.

I took a deep breath, knowing that I had won. I had caught her like the whale she was.

[vmpssd]

more bill brainrot since you're okay with it :) (i think so anyway)

now, I don't really know what scenario to place this in- maybe he's starting to warm up more (physically, emotionally??) or maybe he's helping around your home, I don't know man, D:

he's been really helpful recently, helping with the laundry scattered in the living room, helping to dust some cobwebs in more shaded areas, and other areas of housework.

you couldn't be more thankful for him being so good, lately. it just made your heart warm from seeing him being such a positive influence within you.

you hum whilst drying some dishes, drying them down with a towel while bill takes the dried plates and puts them away, finishing up with your cleaning and with bill putting the last plate away, you smile at him.

"thank you again billy, you've been such a good help, taking such a load off my back."

bill coughs. his yellow color turning red just underneath his eye like blush. his eye averts you, trying to brush it off.

"i'm so good aren't i? the best. you couldn't even think of someone better!"

"mhm, always the best, sweetheart. so good for mommy."

there's something about the way a shiver creeps all the way across bill's body that feels so unreal, even for him. there's a slight, glitched gasp that emits from him at the word 'mommy' that he doesn't seem to register the effect it also has on his body.

bill feels himself heating up considerably fast, a low whine floating through his (non-existent??) mouth. it's not long before you feel him attach himself closer to you, whispering (almost in embarassment) for you to keep talking, just, keep talking.

so you do. "awwh, mommy made you all flustered, billy? so cute. maybe there's a way to make you even more red than you are now."

bill won't admit this (atleast not in this very moment) but he can't deny the pleasure that soars through him that causes his legs to twitch and shake.

he's breathing really heavy now, his eye half-lidded and solely focused on you. watching the way you smile, how your lips curve, that sensual look in your eyes, the way how your body is positioned, just looking down at him like that. (he's in love with it, infatuated, even.)

so when you bend down, pick up his slightly trembling form, and start planting kisses all over him, smearing your lipstick across his body, he can't bring himself to formulate words. let alone a sentence.

he feels the way your lipstick-stained lips glide across his body, the whispers and promises you tell him, the swipe of your tongue and drag of your teeth over his more sensitive zones. oh-ho-ho, he's done for.

"what do you think, billy? should we go back to our room and finish this there? mommy has so much planned with you.."

bill has never made a deal so fast in his life.

(...AAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS BAD OR SOMETHING, I DIDNT REALLY KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS BUT I HOPE ITS OKAY TO READ IT!! LOVE YOUUU FOR LETTING ME RANT, LEMME KNOW IF ITS ANNOYING, THANK YOU!!)

NO ANON DW DON'T STOP TALKING AND YES IM OKAY WITH IT, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS BECAUSE IM OBSESSED WITH IT TOO

YOU JUST GAVE ME A WHOLE FIC AND NOW I AM LOVING YOUR MIND. HIM HELPING US WITH HOUSE CHORES AND HOW IN CHARACTER THIS IS?

'aren't i the best' PROCEEDS TO BE A MESS WHEN WE CALL HIM SWEETHEART AND THANK HIM FOR EVERYTHING

I WOULD PUT ON LIPSTICK JUST TO KISS HIM UGGHHHH to see it on his body no matter the shape or if he's even human, im soooo down bad for him that i would do the triangle without hesitation

looking down at him, chuckling to myself to his whines and how each 'mommy' coming out of my lips gets cipher more worked up 😞😞 manifesting this

THE DRAG OF TEETH OHHHH YOURE COOKING ANON I DO HAVE SO MUCH TO DO TO HIM, NOT WRONG IN THAT

NOT BAD ANON YOUR WRITING IS MMHH GOOD, I ATE THIS ALL UP LIKE THE MOST DELICIOUS MEAL I HAD IN WEEKS BCZ NOT MANY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS, I MYSELF NEVER SAW IT

not annoying also anon! you're welcome to come and rant in my asks whenever you want to!

[ghostbeam]

600w, reader cuts their finger, one mention of blood dripping against the cutting board, inspired by how every time I chop anything I think about how Bakugou would murder me for how I hold things

“Hold you fingers right or I swear I’ll fly home right fucking now.”

Your boyfriend’s voice sounds over the phone as you continue to chop vegetables on the cutting board. With his eyebrows pinched together as he watches you through the phone screen, Katsuki sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of the blade of your knife coming entirely too close to your fingertips.

Sent on a mission out of town, the two of you had been FaceTiming every night for the past couple of days. With time zones, your boyfriend settles into bed around the time you start making dinner for yourself. It had been the perfect arrangement until he had to watch you wield a knife.

“You promise?” You tease, staring up at his worried face through the glow of your cellphone screen as you continue to chop up cabbage.

“You’re gonna cut yourself. I’m hanging up.” Katsuki says, voice stiff as he watches you.

“No you’re not.” You don’t stop chopping. Of course he’s not. He has to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.

“Move your fucking hand.”

“Oh my god, it’s fine, baby. I’m being careful.” You finally pause to look up at him. He’s moved to sit up in the hotel bed that he was previously lying against. His shoulders are tense and his lips are pursed. It makes you giggle.

“You’re very clearly not.” He clicks his tongue.

“I’m getting it done, aren’t I?” You speak, going back to the task at hand. He sighs over the phone.

“I’m serious.” You’re going to kill him. All he can do is sit and watch and wait for the inevitable. You mock him, stubbornly holding your hand in the way he’s told you time and time again not to.

“Ooh he’s serious—ow!” The blade of the knife comes down on the tip of your middle finger, a small gash opens and a drop of blood falls against your cutting board. You may have ruined dinner. You hear Katsuki curse.

“I fucking told you. Let me see.” He commands, sticking his face much closer to his phone than before.

“It’s fine! I’m fine!” You tell him, bringing your finger to your mouth and sucking on the open wound. Your boyfriends eyes widen at the action, running a hand through his hair.

“Fuck! I’m coming home!” He moves to get out of the bed, watching you through the screen. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees you move to the sink on the other side of the counter. You’re at least washing the gash instead of getting the germs from your mouth all over it.

“Katsuki, it’s just a tiny cut!” You tell him over the sound of the water. He groans.

“No more cooking. I’m sending u money to order out. I’ve shown u so many times how to hold your hand when you’re chopping—“ He switches from to an app on his phone to send you money, transferring enough so that you can have dinner (and dessert for that matter) the whole rest of the week. “god, lemme see it.”

“Stop! Im okay! Im putting a bandaid on.” He watches you walk out of frame, likely looking for the band aid’s in the first aid kit in the bathroom. When you return, you’ve wrapped a patterned bandaid covered in stars around the tip of your finger, showing it off to him in the form of flipping him off. He rolls his eyes.

“My fucking stomach hurts. You stress me out.” He tells you, falling back into the bed and holding the phone above him.

“Katsuki.” He hears your voice over the phone. He moves his eyes to look at your face on the screen. You’re a little sweaty from the heat of the kitchen, and he can tell you’re tired from the day you’ve had. His face softens.

“What.” He speaks softly.

“I love you.” You smile.

“Love you too.” He says, “even though you can’t use a knife correctly.”

[gamegirlx]

HEAR HEAR!!! LMK S5 SPOILERS!

i, as an individual human being with free speech, have just finished the fifth season of monkie kid, thus i have THOUGHTS that must be shared.

OK BUT TO QUICKLY ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WORRYING ABOUT FOR THE LONGEST TIME- THE ANIMATION.

it's... ok!

if anything, I GOTTA SAY, they are doing they're best! and it shows!

like okay, ofc the older seasons get better animation but like bro YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO THIS ANIMATION STUDIO for sOmEwhAt keeping up with the animation!

One of the things I noticed is how they actually improve aimating the characters throughout the episodes, and that's pretty epic!

NOW, i wanna address the writing of s5!

It takes a moment of pondering and such for me to cooperate my thoughts into a neat paragraph of words but ALRIGHT-

The concept IS GREAT. The execution??? eh.

the first half of the show was OK, nothing more, nothing less.

the SECOND HALF of the show, now, they were cooking some really epic scenes, interesting concepts, damn good character interactions that *COULD'VE*, i say, COULD'VE been good, IF ONLY THE PACING was better.

here are some random nitpicks i have:

goofy ahh medusa monkie kid oc villian reveal was underwhelming, bruh- NOW HE'S COOL AND ALL, bro's got the sassiest voice ever oh fOR REAL THOUGH, BUT maaaannnn, he def could've used WAY MORE BUILDUP in the first five episodes of the season

that one samadhi fire episode with red son and mei was unneccesary, i think it exists just for dragonfruit content but in term's of shipping, the interactions between mei and red son weren't even that fluffy or romantic. :(

there are quite a few loopholes and, like, exxagerated moments that could've been fixed if the writers just paid more attention to, like ehhhhhh, u'll see moments here and now where the characters are kinda dumb for not doing this or that, etc

the writing and climaxes in past seasons were DEFINETLY better than season six, but okay lemme just say tho, maybe im coping real hard but HEAR ME OUT !!!

SEASON FIVE IS GOOD ENOUGH.

Ya'll shouldn't ghost this season just because the animation looks worse.

This is kinda like a Monkie Kid S1 situation, in which the show was still finding it's animation groove and the story was still in it's early cooking stages but LOOK AT WHERE S1 GOT US (psst psst s2-s4 were FIRE.)

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION,

i believe that the story buildup for the upcoming sEASON SIX of monkie kid will be fricking epic.

ah aH AH- NOT TO MENTION that the animators will inevitably improve, too!

I SAY, GUYS, instead of dumping this show and roasting it for it's so-so season 5, i say we support the team and the show! Let's show the cast and crew that monkie kid is WORTH investing the time into making better! BECAUSE MONKIE KID IS A GREAT ANIMATED SHOW.

AND LIKE GUYS i haven't even mentioned the silly little stuff i like about this show!

(those will be for future rants fr)

NEVERTHELESS. i've stated my case. please spread the word that SEASON FIVE OF MONKIE KID SHOULD BE WATCHED.

and i thank you.