#no I refuse to give a proper summary unless I post this on ao3

[ctommyisnt]

In honor of ao3 being down here’s chapter one of my wip blackbird.

Wilbur & techno & Tommy as kids, dark Phil Watson, abuse, derealization, guns, kidnapping, divorce, manipulation.

A dark expose based on the true crime storytelling style detailing the events that occurred to Technoblade, Wilbur Soot, and Tommy Innit at the ages of 14 and 9. Excerpts from Tommy Innit’s autobiography published at the age of 28 help lead the story and give context.

Dedicated to my brothers, Wilbur and Techno Rosales, bound not by blood, but who I have gone through thick and thin with.

Foreword

My name is Thomas Carson Innit, though most people call me Tommy. You may already know me, not to brag, though I am the biggest man ever. Not literally, of course. If you’re going by height, that honor goes to Robert Wadlow. Though I’m a close second in his regard.

(Wilbur, who read through my second draft to correct inaccuracies and help edit, wanted to make sure I wrote that my height is actually 6’1”. He’s lying, by the way, I’m 6’3”)

Anyways, I’m known in a lot of different ways. Maybe you know me from West Willow High School, where I graduated with my cousin Tubbo (well, his name is Tobias, but nobody calls him that). You may know me from LSU where I studied physics and engineering, or maybe from Stanford when I got my PHD in aerospace engineering.

Maybe you know me from work, designing rockets with my cousin Tubbo and roommate Ranboo. I’ve been complaining about writing this book for the last eighteen months to many of my colleagues. ‘It’s not rocket science’ they all say. They’re right. It’s not rocket science. I can do rocket science. I only studied English for half a year before I switched majors, this is hell for me. My brothers have always been better with words.

But if you don’t know me from any of those, and you're reading this book, then you’ll know me from the Watson family. Which is where most of you readers will have come from. I could explain what that is now, but if I do that this entire book will be spoiled and I’ll have no reason to publish anything past this foreword. Honestly, I could just publish this forward as a memoir, let some publishers eat it up and throw it on the headlines for a week before it gets lost in the sea of articles. But I’ve always been one for dramatics, and here I am, over eighteen years later, writing the real story of the Watson family.

Oh yes, I’ve seen the articles. It was a headline that was spread worldwide, but I was twelve at the time. My brothers were sixteen. The only statement that was released was the police report- and even then we gave the bare minimum. It was enough to send Watson to the asylum for life at least.

In the eighteen years since my brothers and I escaped, we’ve changed a lot. I’ll get into the gritty details later on, but I will say that we were barely people when we got out. I’m proud to say all three of us have found our place since, and my brothers have encouraged my writing for the last two years. I can say to you guys as I finish this foreword that I’m very proud of this work. But not nearly as proud as I am realizing that I’ve healed. I’ve gotten past all the horrors and hardship I’ve been through. I’ve gotten past the lost memories and the grief that’s plagued my life so long. Hell, I design rocket ships, that’s fucking badass.

(My editor told me I shouldn’t swear. It’s unprofessional, she said. My aunt agreed. However, Tubbo and Wilbur said I should because it’s funny and so I am. Fuck the haters, I’m going to swear in my autobiography)

There’s not much else to say here, except this book has been two long years of stories and resurfacing memories and counseling visits. I’m lucky I make good money or else this book would not be worth the amount I’ve spent on therapy to write this. So please, read this with integrity. Read this with kindness. Read this with an understanding that the world is not a perfect place, but it’s not a bad place. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that in this world, the good will never outweigh the bad. Let’s keep it that way.

—

“-okay, love you mom, bye,” he murmured into the phone speaker. Wilbur let Kristin hang up first and turned to his brother sitting next to him on the bed.

“Apparently she’s talking to a lawyer. She’s going to separate with dad” Wilbur explained to Techno, “she’ll pick us up on Friday after school to stay with grandma and grandpa, but unless we want we can stay here until the school week is over.”

His twin looked down, fiddling his hands and shifting on the bed sheets as he did when he was nervous. Wilbur put a hand on his shoulder. “you okay?” He asked.

Techno nodded, then pursed his lips and shook his head, still not meeting Wilbur’s eyes. Wilbur didn’t take offense to that, techno didn’t like making eye contact with anyone.

“I just- I don’t want to leave dad. We were going to plant pumpkins. Only two more months until summer,” he mumbled. Wilbur nodded.

“I know, but it’s not like you’ll never see him again, he just needs some time on his own while we live with mom, unless you wanted to live with dad instead?” Wilbur was hesitant to say that last part. There was no way he wasn’t going to live with mom, but he didn’t know what he’d do if techno stayed with dad. He didn’t want to live out the movie parent trap. Sure, he’d like to have his own bedroom. The room they were in right now was somewhat cramped with all their stuff. But he’d rather a cramped bedroom than to only see his twin at school or every other weekend.

Techno put his hand in Wilbur’s, making him smile, “no, I’d rather live with mom. You know this. I just- this is our bedroom. This is our house. I don’t want to leave everything.”

Wilbur looked up, and yeah. They’d have to move. He’d miss the pale blue drywall and the wispy white curtains. Techno’s computer desk and wall of swords. Wilbur’s guitar in the corner. The shelves of books and trophies and knickknacks they’d had since they were seven.

“Me too,” he whispered, “but we’ll have each other and we’ll probably have our stuff- mom will make sure of that.”

Techno leaned against Wilbur. He was taller and a bit bigger than Wilbur, which he tried not to be jealous of. They were twins for god's sake. He was thankful, though, because Techno was his protector. He’d beat up school bullies for him and stand up to biased teachers. In return, Wilbur would make sure techno didn’t close himself off. Wilbur had always been the more emotional sibling, but he’d comfort a crying techno after a lost soccer match or fencing tournament many times.

A knock on their bedroom door interrupted the moment. Neither said anything, but it opened anyways and techno sat up straight.

“Hey kids,” their father peaked around the doorway, “why don’t you pack up your things. I think we should go to the cabin for the weekend.” He said.

“The cabin? Now?” Techno asked. Phil’s eyes narrowed.

“You know this week has been rough. Hurry up, I already have the car packed,” he huffed, shutting the door behind them, letting the blue and red plastic bells hung on the doorframe they’d made in elementary school ring behind him.

Wilbur stood up slowly, slipping off of the just-too-tall bed to his dresser. He looked through the mirror to techno, still on the bed.

“Wilbur?” Techno said, still unsure. Wilbur bit his lip.

“I dunno, but maybe it’s a good idea. One last summer with dad before we move in with mom- or maybe he just wants a better place to talk about what’s happening? Maybe he just wants to be a bit farther away from what’s happening, y’know parent trap took place in a cabin, maybe it’s fate?” Wilbur rambled. Techno was still fiddling with his hands, picking at the skin at the tips of his fingers even though it hurt. But he stood up and went to the dresser too.

He opened a drawer and brought out a box. A box of keepsakes that they never really took out anymore since they’d gotten older. But he opened it and took out two necklaces.

“Aww, mom’s necklaces,” Wilbur cooed, taking his own. They’d been given necklaces at birth to tell them apart by Kristin’s sister, but their mom was paranoid they’d choke and never let them wear them. But she kept them all the same, and let Wilbur and techno keep them when they were old enough to not chew on the pendant.

A sun for Wilbur and a moon for techno, with their names engraved in them. A beautiful, well made gift that Wilbur appreciated. Techno didn’t care for the meaning as much but he liked jewelry. He used to wear it at middle school before the bullying got too much.

Wilbur unclipped techno’s and put it around his neck. His fingers were never steady enough to do it himself, so Wilbur always put them on for him. Even though he had to reach a tiny bit since Techno was taller.

“It’s just a weekend, techno, we’ve had to get through eighth grade- this is nothing. Besides, we’ll be able to visit the woods again- we love the woods!” He said, trying to ease techno’s raging anxiety.

“Yeah. You're right.” Techno nodded, smiling softly. Wilbur smiled, biting the side of his lips. Yeah, it’ll be just like old times. Techno and dad romping around hunting and foraging while Wilbur read on a tree or played guitar by the lake. It’ll be fine.

—

It has been around two years since they last visited the cabin, it technically wasn’t theirs - it was a timeshare according to Phil. He didn’t really know what that meant, just that they would go at certain times of the year. But Wilbur remembered it didn’t take quite this long to get there. They left at four, and it was already eight; It was only supposed to take three hours.

Wilbur hadn’t said anything in an hour. Phil wasn’t responding to much and Techno had been drifting asleep for the last thirty minutes. His phone had died in hour two and he didn’t have a charging cord that would plug into a car port.

At 8:27 Phil turned into a gas station, much to Wilbur’s relief. He needed to pee really badly. He grabbed Techno’s sleeve and pulled him to the door, waking him up enough to follow them. Wilbur’s nose scrunched as they stepped out of the van, he didn’t really like the smell of gas. It was much too strong and the yellow lights were blaring down on them. Techno grabbed onto Wilbur’s sleeve.

Phil didn’t talk to them, just filled the car with gas in silence. His eyes followed Wilbur and Techno as they entered the gas station and when he turned around as the door swung open, he was still watching them.

Wilbur remembered the time Phil once forgot them at the library. He was never this attentive.

He’s probably stressed because mom left.

Before they left the gas station, Wilbur looked at the aisle with supplies- he picked out a car port and looked to Techno, who was holding his hand. It was a deep royal purple- which was Kristin’s favorite color. It made him smile.

A bell rang, and Wilbur looked up to see Phil coming through the door. His dad beelined to supplies, picking out a few things. Some he recognized, some he didn’t. Mostly just camping supplies and other tools.

Wilbur bit his lip.

Nevertheless, he made his way to the register, nodding when Techno grabbed a pack of gummy worms. He was reaching into his pocket to grab his wallet but a hand on his shoulder made him jolt.

Wilbur held up the car port charger. Phil shook his head and took it from his hand, putting it on the nearest shelf. He let out a shaky breath, looking at Techno who was just as confused as he was. Phil led them the rest of the way to pay for his stuff and Techno’s gummy worms (thankfully) and led them by the shoulders out of the gas station.

Wilbur and Techno climbed back into the silver van, they expected Phil to join them, but instead he kept the door on Techno’s side open.

“So I was thinking,” he started, saying the first words to them since they’d gotten to this god awful gas station, “since we’re going on a family trip, we should try to be more present. We could make this an electronic free trip,” Phil proposed. Techno shook his head but Phil just held out his hand.

“Come on, it’s just for two days- okay? You’ll have them back on the way home- let's just have fun.”

“Dad, we were supposed to get to the cabin an hour ago,” Wilbur said, still hesitant to give him his dead phone. Mom would be expecting a call tomorrow.

“We’re taking the long route- now give me your phones,” Phil snapped. Techno flinched, but handed Phil his phone - and Wilbur did the same - fingers tensing as he took it from his hands.

The car started without much fanfare, and Techno opened his bag of gummy worms, handing a green one to Wilbur. He didn’t like the green worms, which was convenient for Wilbur, who did.

Wilbur didn’t say a word for the next hour, just leaning on Techno as they silently ate gummy worms. The radio stayed off- the AC was quiet, having been turned to the lowest setting since the beginning. Hell, there were barely any cars or buildings on the sides of the roads. Just land and trees and the occasional farm.

It was almost ten at night when Phil stopped the car again. Techno was completely asleep, but Wilbur could barely close his eyes. Which was probably a good thing considering the way Phil had been acting.

“Dad?” he faltered, watching the man step out of the car into the night. He walked into what looked like an old garage with a rusty blue pickup truck inside. The only light came from a flashlight Phil had bought at the gas station, sweeping around the shed. He messed around with the hood for a bit, playing with the engine and moving back to the drivers side until the car started. Was he hot wiring it? Wilbur shook Techno awake when he realized he was moving stuff from shelves onto the old truck.

“Heh?” He groaned, glaring at Wilbur. He said nothing, just pointed out the window to Phil, who was walking back to the car. He opened the van door, grabbing the plastic bag of stuff from earlier and then gesturing for the boys to come out.

Techno opened the door.

“Dad you’re being weird,” Wilbur said, shaking in the cold air. It was still April. They still had school tomorrow.

“No, I’m not- you’re just tired. Up past your bedtime, “ Phil responded oh so nonchalantly. Wilbur grimaced.

“Yes, you are- you said we were going to the cabin and we passed it two hours ago. It’s not even cabin time- it’s a- a timeshare of something, remember?”

Phil stopped walking, standing still. Not facing them. There was a small gust of wind, shaking the pine trees around them, making Techno shiver even through his hoodie- and the pitch black night wasn’t doing him any favors either.

“Dad?” he said again. Phil looked up slightly. The stars were really bright- brighter than even at the cabin since they were supposedly far up north. Wilbur had always wanted to see the stars.

“I said we’re going to the cabin, Wilbur. Just like we always do. You’re just confused, you must've fallen asleep on the drive over and not realized.”

Techno fiddled with his sleeves, “dad that’s not true- that would make the drive feel shorter not longer.”

Phil turned around to face them, face dark with the only light coming from the flashlight he was holding facing the ground. He seemed taller tonight. Normally Techno was almost his height, but his twin shrunk underneath the gaze of their father.

“Techno you don’t know what you’re talking about. Get in the truck- we’ll talk about this later.”

Techno huffed, “no dad. I’m not going. You’re acting weird even I can tell. This isn’t right.”

“Techno-”

Wilbur stepped closer to Techno- if slightly behind, “is this about mom? Are you upset because she left?”

Phil’s eyes narrowed- though it was hard to tell in the dark. He stepped closer to them again, hand tightening on the flashlight.

“This isn't about Kristin. She’s gone. It’s us now, okay?” He said, grabbing Techno’s arm and pulling them to the truck.

Techno thrashed, and Wilbur pulled on his arm the other way, “No! Dad let go of me! Get off, I don't want to go!”

“Just trust me,” Phil growled. He grabbed the hood of Wilbur’s sweatshirt and pulled him with, not letting go no matter how hard he pulled away. It was a two versus one- but Phil was strong. Stronger than them at least. They were only fourteen.

“Dad let me go! What are you doing?” Wilbur shouted, shouts turning into gasping for breath, “where are you taking us?” He screamed. Phil grabbed a rope from the ground and wrestled his arms until he could tie one of his hands to the passenger seat’s headrest. Techno tried pushing past to Wilbur to get to Phil but the man just slammed the door and locked it. Wilbur banged on the windows and tried to pull the lock on the door up- but his shaking hand and the poorly designed truck wouldn’t fucking budge. He threw the rest of the stuff into the back of the vehicle and got into the drivers seat- turning the truck into reverse.

Techno immediately tried to grab Phil, yelling and reaching forward to stop him from- from something as Wilbur tugged uselessly on the thick rope burning his wrists. But when Phil turned around the both of them froze.

He was holding an old handgun. Pointing it back at them. Threatening them. They both stopped breathing. Only a whimper escaping from Techno’s mouth.

“I said, we’re going to the cabin. We’re going to the family cabin, boys.”

Wilbur opened his mouth once, trying so hard to say something- but nothing came out. His hand fell limp- still held up by the rope- the fucking rope.

“Good. Now get some sleep- we have a few more hours left.”

They sat back, but neither of them fell back asleep.

[king-bumis-armpit]

Hey! I’m just reaching out to say that I would be really interested in reading the continuation for the “how Zuko finds out Mai and Kei Lo broke up” fic.

I love your fics! Thank you for giving us Maiko content!

Put a Ring on It, Part 2

Find part 1 here

Summary: Mai goes out on a date, and comes back to find her ex-boyfriend loitering in her Aunt’s shop.

Author’s note: Thank you so much to everyone who showed interest in a part 2!! It makes me so happy you all enjoy my silly little stories ^^ And big thank you to @ninolovers. I love your page so much!! 

This one got… a little less silly and a little more angsty. And my hand slipped, so I added more sappiness than intended. It’s perhaps a tad ooc, but I hope you all enjoy!!

Also, I’m still taking fic ideas, but I will probably be slow in writing them. Thank you to everyone who’s given me ideas so far <3

Cross posted on AO3 and Tumblr

TW: Canonical violence and more kissing than I normally write.

WC: 3349

“Um… so… what do you like to do for fun?” Kage asked.

Mai held back a sigh. The awkwardness was palpable, but the young man in front of her was trying his hardest to make conversation. Mai knew she should make an effort as well. “I like throwing knives, sharpening my knives, and collecting rare knives.”

Kage ran a hand through his hair. “That’s cool.” 

Silence descended once more as the pair focused on their lunch. Ty Lee owed Mai so many cups of tea for this. 

She had recently started dating Kaori, one of her fellow Kyoshi Warriors. Of course Mai was happy for her, she liked Kaori well enough and it was nice to see her friend even more bubbly than usual. However, when Kaori’s brother came to the Fire Nation for a visit, Ty Lee not-so-subtly began pushing for a double date. Mai, wanting to be a good friend, agreed. Big mistake. When she arrived at the garden restaurant, it was just Kage. The girls had “urgent warrior business to attend to,” which Mai assumed involved making out in the sparring rooms of the palace.

Nonetheless, Ty Lee had chosen a great spot for a date. The restaurant was outside of the Caldera proper and built on one of the smaller hills overlooking the harbor. The owner of the establishment had turned the surrounding grounds into a large outdoor garden, and installed large picture windows on every wall. Even in the rain, the view was striking. 

Mai was trying very hard to keep her irritation at bay. It wasn’t this guy’s fault that Ty Lee had ditched her. And Ty Lee herself was probably trying to help. After Mai’s break up with Kei Lo, Ty Lee had encouraged her to either talk to Zuko or start making a serious effort to move on. This was clearly a ploy to get her out in the dating game again after so many months of refusing. Unless… unless there really was urgent warrior business that involved Zuko’s security.

A bolt of anxiety coursed through Mai’s chest, and she forced herself to tamp it down. That was not a possibility. Zuko was safe. She needed to think about anything else. “I met your sister in prison!” It was a rather inelegant attempt at human interaction. Mai was normally much better at this, and Zuko was the one who floundered. 

“Oh, yes. She told me. You and her girlfriend were part of the resistance to Ozai’s rule, right?”

Mai feared that Kage had been told a nicer version of events, but she did not have the mental energy to figure out what was safe to say. If there were rules, then Ty Lee should have come to enforce them. “We were eventually, but first we actually helped Fire Nation conquer Ba Sing Se by pretending to be the Kyoshi Warriors. It was really ironic when Ty Lee became one for real.”

Kage frowned. “So when did you join our side and get arrested?”

Mai stiffened. “That’s a long story. We actually broke my ex-boyfriend out of a different Fire Nation prison.”

“Are you all known for your prisons or something?”

He had no idea. “Umm… some of them. The one my ex-boyfriend was being held in is called the Boiling Rock. My uncle is actually the Warden there.”

Kage smiled, “That’s good! He must have helped you.”

“Uh…” Mai did not know how the conversation had blown up so quickly. “He kind of hated my ex. He threatened to end him for breaking up with me in a letter. But my ex’s friend took him hostage…” Kage was staring blankly at his plate. “Um… anyway, what did Kaori tell you about Ty Lee?” That would have been a much safer place to start.

Kage looked up. “She told me about the aura-reading thing. Ty Lee said my aura was vibrant orange. What about you?”

“She says it's gray.”

He looked sympathetic. “That’s not very nice of her. I’m sorry.”

Mai raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it’s so bad.” Personally she thought orange was hideous, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “I like gray. It goes with the steel of my knives.”

Kage pursed his lips. “Right. Your knives.” Mai would’ve thought he’d be used to female knife wielders, being related to a Kyoshi Warrior and all. But she acknowledged that her life story made for a rather unsettling lunch topic.

She searched her mind for a mundane question to ask: “So… how has your visit to the Fire Nation been so far, Kage?”

“It’s been really nice. The scenery is so beautiful here,” he gestured around them meaningfully, to the stormy gardens.

“Are you staying in the capital for the week?” Mai asked.

“Yes. And then my sister and I are taking a trip to Ember Island for a few days. Have you ever been?”

“Many times. I used to go there as a child.” Mai thought back to those sunny days playing with Zuko and Azula in the sand. Then her mind turned to her most recent visit.

— — 

After wrecking Chan’s house, Azula declared a tactical retreat before the authorities showed up. The four friends made their way back to the sea-shell cottage, but Mai was too wired to sleep. Azula marched confidently inside with Ty Lee hanging off her arm. Zuko followed, but paused at the threshold, noticing that Mai had stopped.

“I think I need to decompress. I’m going to go for a walk.” 

Zuko let the door close. “I’ll come with you.”

Mai pursed her lips. He had said a lot around that campfire earlier, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it all. She had forgiven him, but it still stung.

Sensing her hesitation, he walked over and took and took her hand. “I'm sorry for earlier. I promise I’ll be quiet if you want me to. Just don't go alone.”

She leaned into his side. “It's fine. I have an idea.”

She led him across the beach in the opposite direction of Chan’s house. They reached a rockier stretch of shore and Mai knew they were in the right place. She guided him through the rocks until she found what she was looking for. A large tide pool lay at their feet.

Zuko gasped, “This is just like when we were kids. Do you remember? We would search for urchin-crabs!”

Mai smiled, “I remember. Why do you think I brought us here? Can you give us some light?”

Zuko created a small flame in his palm and the pair crouched down to peer in the water. 

“There!” Sure enough a deep purple spiny shell scuttled across the bottom. Zuko laughed, “I loved coming here because Azula was afraid of the crabs. It was the only time we could play together without her.”

Mai smiled at the memory. “Yeah. But come to think of it, that was probably good for her. It gave her a chance to be alone with your mom.”

“Hmm. I guess that’s true. I hadn’t thought about it before. It’s… hard to think about those times. I know I keep saying this, but everything feels different.” 

Zuko stood, and Mai followed with a frown. Ever since Zuko returned, he kept talking about how everything felt off. She knew that he was referring to deeper issues, his relationships with his family and feelings about affairs of state, but it was hard not to take it personally. When he left, she was a shy little girl and now she was a moody teenager. 

Mai sighed. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been home, and even longer since you’ve been here. It’s natural that things have changed.” She put a hand on his back. “If you need time to figure out why you’re so upset and so angry, then you can have it.”

Zuko had the nerve to pout. “You normally tell me that not everything’s changed and that I don’t have to worry.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well it doesn’t seem to be helping.” She dropped her arm. “I’m saying that if you need… if you need to be on your own, and reassess what we thought the future would be, you can do that. Just let me know sooner rather than later.”

Zuko furrowed his brow. He was about to speak, and then it clicked. “Are you breaking up with me? Again?! Mai–” her name sounded like a strangled prayer. 

“Calm down! I’m not breaking up with you. I just– I don’t know how to help! I thought maybe I was part of the problem.” Mai abruptly sat back down at the edge of the tidepool and brought her knees to her chest. She felt tears prick her eyes and so she hid her face.

Zuko sat slowly behind her. “Mai, you are the only person I have never doubted. When you kissed me in Ba Sing Se, it was literally a dream come true. The only reason I didn’t jump for joy was… uncle. But I really like how you are now.” Zuko wrapped an arm around her.

“I thought I was a big blah.”

Zuko winced, but he didn’t retract his arm. “No. You’re not. I was just frustrated because I can never tell what you’re thinking. I really thought you liked Ruon Jian for a second there.” 

Mai unburied her face to glare at her boyfriend. “But why? I hardly spoke to him! He came up and talked to me for like two seconds before you tossed him across the room.”

Zuko chuckled. “That felt good.” Mai narrowed her eyes, and Zuko pulled her in closer. “Seriously though, I think the fact that I’m relying on you so much is part of the problem. I mean it when I say you’re the only thing that hasn’t changed for me. If you found someone else, I would be all alone. And I know that isn’t an excuse to be awful, but I want you to know it’s not like I don’t trust you or anything. I was just scared.” 

Mai could relate. Even in his banishment, when Mai pictured her future, Zuko was by her side. For him to return so unsettled in his own vision of the future… it was affecting her more than she’d realized. 

Mai tucked her legs under her and put her arms around Zuko’s neck. “Honestly, I’d already forgiven you. Now, tell me more about the feelings that haven’t changed.”

Zuko was smiling broadly now in the moonlight. “First of all, I love you. I trust you. I want to be the person who makes you smile the most.”

Mai blushed fiercely, glad for the cover of darkness, “Okay–”

But Zuko continued, “I’ve always wanted to undo your hair and run my fingers through it.” He moved his hand from her shoulder to the back of her head and took out one of her buns, and her hair cascaded down her back.

Mai laughed, but protested, “Hey!”

“And I want to kiss you.” Zuko buried her fingers in her hair. Mai closed her eyes. They both leaned in. She could almost feel the touch of his lips when–

Sploosh! Something in the tide pool made a noise and Zuko let out a rather unmanly squeal, as they sprang apart. He called the fire back to his palm. Another urchin-crab had joined the first, ostensibly by utilizing the belly-flop method. 

Mai cackled, “Looks like Azula isn’t the only one who’s afraid. Don’t worry, my sweet prince, I’ll protect you.”

Zuko smirked. “Please do.” At long last, they shared their kiss. Zuko pulled back to look into her eyes. “For real, Mai, keep protecting me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Mai held him close. “I promise. I’ll always be by your side, as long as you want me.” And she was, until she wasn’t.

— — 

“Umm… Mai, I asked what you did? On the island?”

Oh, right. She was on a date. With Kage. It appeared she had frozen with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth. Her mother would have some choice words about the propriety of such an incident. 

“I always enjoyed searching the tide pools for urchin-crabs. You can also collect shells on the beach if you’re…” She really shouldn’t say stupid, “into that kinda thing. Or you could play beach volleyball.” He seemed unimpressed. Maybe she should try for a joke? “Oh! I had one friend who was really into arson and destroying private property, but I wouldn’t recommend it for your first visit.”

“Right. Well… this has been really great but I just remembered that I wanted to take a walk around the gardens. Alone. So, I’ll just…” Kage stood. “Thank you for your time.” He sprinted into the rain as thunder cracked in the sky above.

Mai had officially been ditched for the second time in one day. Third, if you counted Kaori’s ditching separately from Ty Lee’s. And now Mai was left to foot the bill of both meals, after which she would have the pleasure of walking home alone in the rain. Yippee.

— —

For some reason, Auntie had hung the closed sign on the door. Not that Mai minded, she was most certainly not in the mood for small talk and, in this weather, they probably weren’t getting any customers anyway. 

She stomped in and began shaking off her coat. “How was your outing, dear?” her aunt asked. Her tone was weirdly formal, but Mai was too preoccupied to think too deeply about it.

“It was awful!” She whipped her coat in the air, and it made a satisfying crack. “I never–” crack– “want to see–” crack– “another man again!” crack!

Satisfied with the state of her coat, she hung it on one of the hooks by the door and turned to face her aunt. And, standing beside her, was the Fire Lord, ruler of the nation and her ex-boyfriend. Mai said a silent prayer to Agni, letting him know that now would be a good time to engulf the world in a sea of flames.

Auntie Mura broke the uncomfortable silence. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it, then.” With that, she disappeared into one of the many back rooms.

“H-hi.” Zuko looked terrified. He was white as a ghost, and he was holding his hands behind his back in a poor attempt to conceal something. She remembered Ty Lee’s urgent business, and she knew her aunt’s shop was registered as a secure escape location when they were dating. What if there was an attack and his hands were injured?

Mai made her way through the plants in the shop to stand before him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“What?” Zuko asked. “I’m fine. Why?”

“You look shaken. And Ty Lee said… Ugh, never mind. She was probably lying to make out with her girlfriend.”

Zuko chuckled. “You mean Kaori? Yeah, I’ve had to talk to them about PDA on duty. Suki tried but she couldn’t get through.”

Mai allowed herself a small smile. “Good luck.”

Zuko bit his lip. “Mai… the truth is, I am nervous. I ran into Kei Lo earlier while he was engagement ring shopping.”

“What?!” Mai was astonished. They’d only broken a few months ago, right? She didn’t like him romantically anymore, but it hurt to realize he’d outpaced her. Especially with how her date earlier had gone. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Zuko seemed very uncomfortable now. “I didn’t think you would care.” She could hear his temper sneaking into his voice.

“I don’t!” It didn’t sound convincing even to her. “I mean, I don’t care that he’s moved on, but now I feel… like I lost a race.’

Zuko snorted, “That’s not how it works–”

“Yeah, I know. Get on with your story.”

“Right,” Zuko continued. “I thought he was going to propose to you and I might… have gotten just a bit jealous.”

Mai’s head was spinning. “If you’re proposing now, I can’t.”

Zuko shook his head. “Not yet.” Her heart fluttered. “But I did get you something.” He brought his hands in between them and offered her a long jewelry case. She opened the lid. Inside rested a beautiful silver necklace. The charm was a plum blossom, her namesake flower, and in the center sat a garnet, her favorite gem.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s gorgeous, and it’s exactly my taste, but why?”

Zuko delicately took the necklace back and moved behind her to clasp it around her neck. “When I was in that shop, I realized that I would never be happy if I didn’t try to fix things again and remind you of how I feel. I know it’s been a long time since our breakup, but consider this an apology and a vow to do better.” His fingers grazed her nape as moved her hair back in place over the necklace.

Mai crossed her arms. “And do you know why you have to apologize? You can’t just throw jewelry at me.”

Zuko walked back around and grasped her upper arms. “I never should have stopped talking to you. I never should have hidden things from you. Mai, I was afraid you would realize how bad of a screw-up I was and leave. But, in the end, I drove you away on my own. I am so sorry. Please–” his voice broke, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “Please come back.”

“Okay,” Mai’s own voice was quivering and her vision was blurry. She embraced him tightly. They stood like that for a few minutes listening to the rain fall.

Mai realized that she still had that same old fear of heartbreak and future rejection. It was temporarily sated, but she could sense it beneath the surface. Perhaps it was part of her, and nothing to do with Zuko at all. She held onto him with all of her strength. She had always known the reason he brought out that emotion was because she loved him in a way that she hadn't loved anyone else before or since. It was so worth it, there was no one else for her. Now, it was her turn to trust him to protect her in the future. And she found that she did.

“This is the best day of my life,” Zuko whispered into her hair.

“And it's all because of Kei Lo?” she asked teasingly.

“Honestly yes. I wouldn't have had the courage to talk to you without him.” He pulled away slightly to frown at her. “Especially since your Aunt told me you were on a date.”

Mai laughed. “Don't worry, you heard how that went.”

Zuko remained unmoved. “Was that guy rude or creepy to you?” He moved his hands to her waist and brought her close again. “I can and will have him exiled if he–”

“No, no, no.” Mai assured him. “I think I was the weirdo. Besides, he’s Kaori’s brother so he's returning to Earth Kingdom soon anyway.”

“Good riddance.”

“Zuko, you don’t even know him.” 

“I don’t need to!” he insisted. “At least you were happy with Kei Lo.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Kei Lo was my boyfriend, and Kage was a blind date. There’s a difference there.”

“Well I don’t like him! I wish I knew the second you and Kei Lo broke up. I would have been here in a heartbeat.”

Mai caressed his cheeks. “You could have visited sooner, as my friend.”

“I’m not proud of this, but I don’t know if I could have handled that.” Zuko was right. They both had a lot of progress to make.

“I understand… I probably would have turned you away. I’ve still been figuring things out too.”

Zuko smiled, “Can we figure them out together?”

Mai smiled back at him. “Honestly, I would love that.”

They leaned in, and, as their lips met, the sun appeared from behind the clouds. Even through the windows of the shop, it reflected the gold of his crown and the silver of her necklace in a brilliant array. 

[incorrectbatfam]

I wanna start writing fanfics (mainly birdflash) and I need tips bc it's my first time?

Please run things through a basic grammar and spell checker

Use quotation marks to indicate speech

Paragraph breaks for lines of dialogue, changes in time/place, or switching topics; nobody wants to read a single giant text block

Don’t put author’s notes in the middle, it distracts from the story

Avoid text speak unless the characters are actually texting

If possible, get someone to beta-read for feedback (I’m always happy to if you can’t find anyone else, just DM me)

Put effort into your summary. Don’t say “the summary sucks but the story is better” or “no summary because spoilers”. Your summary is how you hook people, so if readers see you’re not confident in a synopsis or you refuse to tell them what they need to know off the bat, they’re less likely to continue reading

Steer clear of slurs if you don’t know how to properly write them or if your characters aren’t in a position to say it. Fictional ones like “mudblood” don’t count

Similar thing for cussing. Use cuss words only if a) it adds value to the moment or b) if the character is a known potty mouth. Otherwise those words lose the intense effect that they’re supposed to have

Give proper ratings. Don’t rate your fanfic “general audience” if there’s graphic violence or sex or whatever. When in doubt, get a second opinion. Again, I’m open for that too

Please don’t write the entirety of a song’s lyrics in a songfic. Just the important parts will do

If you’re using foreign words, italicize them and leave definitions in the notes below. Translating them as you go seems like a good idea but breaks up the flow of the story

If you don’t know what kissing/sex/etc. is like, look it up or ask somebody (fine, I’ll open my DMs to this one too)

Thesauruses keep things from sounding too repetitive, but it’s still better just to naturally expand your vocabulary

If there’s something non-traditional about the formatting (e.g. thoughts being in italics), indicate that either in the author’s notes or at the beginning before the story starts

If you’re collabing with someone, communication and consent are key

Tag content warnings properly

Find the platform(s) that are right for you and consistently build there—Tumblr, FF.net, LiveJournal, Ao3, Wattpad, whatever

Just based on my experience if you don’t know where to post: 

Wattpad tends to be better for OC or self-insert fanfics. Most writers are beginner-level and the fandoms tend to be really broad, like DC or Harry Potter

Fanfiction.net is…a little dicey. I know they’ve had issues in the past with censorship and stuff. Writing level ranges very greatly and it’s kind of hard to make yourself seen among so many users. They have more fandoms than Wattpad and they’ve also got a basic filtering system in place

LiveJournal is kinda old from my knowledge and I’m not even sure if people actually use it anymore. I know I haven’t ‘cause I’m part of a younger cohort, but hey, I might be wrong and it might be the perfect place for you

Tumblr is better for one-shots or fanfics with accompanying art or music from my experience. There’s a limit of thirty tags per post so you can cover your bases, but probably won’t be able to do specific ones. It’s relatively easy to get seen on Tumblr because their algorithm favors more recent posts in a weird way that I haven’t totally figured out. I’d say the average fanfic writing level in intermediate, but fair warning for gatekeepers, doxxers, etc. But that’s still unlikely unless you post something actually problematic

I think fandom Wiki or something allows people to write fanfics but I’m not sure

Goodreads is largely for published original works or classic stuff like the Iliad so…fanfics won’t fare so well there

Just avoid Reddit and 4chan for your own sake

Ao3 has writers of all levels too, but leans more towards the intermediate to proficient end. There are a lot of fandoms big and small and though there’s some OC/reader-insert content, the vast majority of works stick to canon characters. The tags get as specific as you like and filtering system is great, with places available in nearly every language you write in. There’s a wait period if you want to sign up and it’s also pretty uncensored

And remember: your first work isn’t gonna be too good and that’s okay. Practice makes perfect, and even the best of us always have room to grow!

[mitchmarnier]

I want these words to make things right (but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life)

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] rating: teen & up word count: 10,531 summary: Richie Tozier runs an anonymous tip for superheroes in the town of New York City. Sounds like a great idea, until you throw in the ex boyfriend superhero he's still in love with, and the weird blue eyed man who somehow figured out the man behind the blog ⤹ a NOT birthday fic for the lovely leigh (@s-s-georgie) 

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @stebbins, @isaacslaheys, @s-s-georgie, @transrich@eddiefuckinkaspbrak, @edstozler, @emgays, @anellope, @thorn-harvester-ven, @wheezyeds, @vipertooth, @tozierking, @billdenbrough, @starrystoziers, @trashmouthtozierr, @willelbyers​ @itfandomprompts, @loserslibrary (let me know if you want added!)

read on ao3

Spotted!: The one and only FlyBoy, rescuing not one, not two, but six students of New York University from a late night fire in the little coffee shop down on Old Broadway. Damages to the building were extensive- and it’s going to be closed for a very long, unknown future- but nobody was harmed thanks to our very own eye in the sky. FlyBoy, we salute you and I think we can speak for everybody when we say that we sleep better knowing you’re out there. 

Richie sent out the blast, still smiling at his phone. He’d barely even opened his eyes when he’d rolled over to grab his phone, which wasn’t anything abnormal. Richie ran one of the most popular blogs in New York City, completely anonymously. It had started out as his own interests, keeping taps on all the iconic heroes of their great and crime ridden city. It had quickly grown in regular viewers and subscribers, everybody realizing how coinvient it was to one location with all the information. More reliable information than the actual news, if Richie did say so himself.

“Really? FlyBoy again?” Richie’s roommate, Beverly Marsh, barged into Richie’s bedroom without knocking. “Don’t you think you’re getting a little too hung up on this guy? You’re running an update blog, not a FlyBoy fanblog.”

“FlyBoy is the guy to watch for.” Richie shrugged as he rolled out his bed, reaching out blindly for his glasses that he’d left on his bedside table. Beverly was standing at the edge of his bed with her hands on his hips. “Why are you looking at me like that, Mom?”

Beverly grabbed an NYU crewneck off the floor and threw it over his head. “FlyBoy isn’t the only superhero in the city, Richie! You’re falling off your brand and you’re going to lose your following. And in case you hadn’t noticed, your following pays most of our bills.” 

Richie rolled his eyes. He grabbed his lucky jeans off the floor and slipped into them without changing his boxers, getting a little too much enjoyment out of Beverly’s cringe. “Would you chill out? I’m still just reporting the news, Bev. It’s not like anything else happened last night.”

“Dr Incredible stopped a bank robbing,” Beverly pointed out without even needing to look at her phone. “You didn’t say anything about that. Not to mention- Captain Fast literally saved an entire family from plunging off a bridge in their car last night. You know, Eddie Kaspbrak? Your best friend? The love of your life? I think maybe that would be a little newsworthy, don’t you?”

Richie scraped his black curls into a bun at the top of his head and started throwing textbooks into his backpack. “Beverly, I have had my eyes open for all of ten minutes, and seven of them have been you lecturing me on how to run a blog. I will post the rest of the events from last night and anything that happened this morning on the way to class that I need to go to. Because I have a life, so unless you wanna take over all the blog responsibilities… get off my dick.” 

Beverly scoffed as Richie pushed past her out the door to his room, shouting at him that there was brewed coffee on the counter even as they both knew that Richie was going to be stopping at Starbucks for something that was more sugar and syrup than actual caffeine. 

Richie went to the same Starbucks every morning before class, and every evening after classes let out. Stanley from his Psychology 101 worked there, and he never failed to give Richie shit about his nasty habits. He was a scrawny man, with tight curls. He was always well dressed under his work apron, light coloured button ups and pressed jeans. He always looked so put together and proper that Richie wanted to frazzle him and mess him up completely.

Stan’s customer service happy expression dropped into a look of disdain. “You’re back. Again.”

“Everyday, Stanny, you know me.” Richie leaned against the counter and winked at the unimpressed barista. Stan turned away from him, putting Richie’s regular order into the register. “Gotta get that caffeine fix.”

“I’d hardly call this caffeine by any means.” Stan let out a scoff as he finished ringing up the order. Richie handed Stanley the cash, and tried to chase the barista down the line in the process of making Richie’s entirely familiar order.

“You can’t lean over the counter like that.” Stan said in a low, bored tone. “You know, you’re lucky it's in my job description to be nice to you.” 

Richie chuckled, watching as Stan applied a double spray of whipped cream that Richie certainly hadn’t paid for. “If this is you being nice to me, I would hate to see you mean.”

“Yes, you would.” Stan placed Richie’s pale drink down onto the counter and slid a straw over to Richie without Richie needing to ask. Richie grinned, and took a long, overly dramatic sip before turning away. He nursed the drink throughout his short walk to his campus building, and tossed it- half finished- into the garbage before ducking into his lecture hall. He slid into his regular seat in the far left side of the hall, then frowned as somebody sat down on the other side of him. 

It was a cute enough guy, with soft brown hair that flopped into his face. His eyes were an icy blue and there was a scar running through one eyebrow. Richie felt goosebumps jump up on his forearms as the boy stared at him.

“You’re R-R-Richie T-Tozier, right?” Bill said, voice pleasant even in the low tone. It soothed Richie in an odd way, and he felt himself lowering his guard even as he wondered why he was doing it. 

“Yeah…” Richie said slowly, lifting his pen towards his mouth and biting down on the bottom end. “And you are?”

“My name is B-B-ill.” He said, before glancing over his shoulder. He bit down on his bottom lip and leaned in closer to Richie’s space. “You’re the runner of Spotted!, right? The superhero tracker blog?”

Richie blinked at him. His teeth threatened to break through the plastic of his pen. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked forward at the professor, droning on about something Richie couldn’t care less about, especially with how his heart was pounding in his chest. “Sorry, man. I think you’ve got the wrong guy.” 

Even as Richie refused to let his gaze waver from the front of the room, he could feel how Bill’s eyes continued to burn into the side of his head. “Well.” Bill said, voice somehow seeming much closer to Richie’s ears than he felt it should be. “If you a-ar-are the m-man behind the sc-screen, I th-thought you sh-should know that Pr-Professor Fly will make an app-appearance tonight.”

Richie jerked his head to look at Bill, but the other guy was already standing and making his way through the lecture hall. He didn’t even turn around as Richie unabashedly stared at him. Professor Fly had once been the biggest, most known superhero on the NYC scene. Along with the flight powers that his name implied, he’d also been strong and fast. He’d had a plethora of powers, so many it was beyond abnormal. Nearly three years ago, Professor Fly had stepped onto the scene with a mentee- none other than FlyBoy- and only six months after that he’d completely dropped off the face of the Earth. FlyBoy continued to work in the city, and make a bigger and bigger name for himself, but Professor Fly had not been seen in over two full years. 

It was juicy information, no doubt. The kind that made Richie’s stomach tense up and his palms sweat. If Professor Fly was coming out of retirement, that could only mean somehow seriously Bad was on the scene. But Richie didn’t run a gossip blog, and he would never post something he didn’t have any proof on. Not even something as huge as a potential Professor Fly comeback.

Spotted! Just a little  recap of last night’s busy activities in the city that never sleeps: Dr Incredible bringing a bank robbery to a skidding halt, making sure all our favourite rich bitches and Wall Street moneybags have their millions safe for another day! Thanks, dude! And OF COURSE, the adorable and flawless Captain Fast saving an entire family from certain doom, and looking absolutely mouth watering in that spandex as always while doing it. Keep it up, babe. The public loves you :*

“RICHIE!”

Richie hardly reacted as the apartment door busted open and Eddie Kaspbrak stormed into the living room. His hair was damp, flattened to his forehead from the rain outside. The same rain that had left stains all over his grey NYU shirt and blue jeans. His fists were tightened at his sides, and he looked absolutely adorable.

“How can I be of service, dear Edward?” Richie asked, punching at the buttons of his xBox controller. Eddie stomped forward and grabbed it from his hands, tossing it across the room. “Hey! What the fuck?”

“You can’t fucking flirt with me on your stupid blog!” Eddie cried, running his hands through his hair. “Okay? People are gonna… they could figure out who you are if you keep doing that!”

Richie sat up straight on the couch. “Okay, do you know how little sense that makes, right? I make flirtatious comments about every hero I post about. Except Dr Incredible, I think guys a fucking sham.” Eddie rolled his eyes as Richie carried on over him. “And even if I did flirt with you more than the other heroes, they’d still need to know who you are to connect the dots to me. So take a breath. If you don’t want people commenting on your spandex, don’t wear it.”

“This isn’t about spandex.” Eddie said, though Richie could see that the anger he’d been wrapped up in when he’d come into the apartment was quickly seeping out of him. “This is about you. I don’t want you in danger, Richie.”

“You’ve made that beyond clear, Eds.” Richie stood and stretched his hands above his head. “It’s pretty much all I’ve heard from you.”

“Rich…” Eddie said sadly, but if there had been anything further to that sentence it evaporated right from Eddie’s mouth. 

Eddie and Richie were diaper buddies, a real sandbox love. Richie couldn’t remember a point in his life without Eddie in it. They’d grown up inseparable, and Richie still remembered vividly when they’re relationship had begun to grow into something more. Junior year of high school, when Richie finally, finally found the nerve to ask Eddie out on an official date. And the next couple weeks after that were bliss in a way that Richie had never known. Until suddenly, Eddie had started blowing him off. Cancelling dates, and dodging Richie’s calls. When Richie had moved to confront Eddie about his behaviour, to beg him to at least end it and not keep him hanging on, Richie had learned the truth of Eddie’s powers. Apparently, it ran in his family and his mother had tried her hardest to keep it from Eddie, in desperate hopes that Eddie would be different but the powers can come nonetheless. Some smaller ones- a heightened sense of touch, and an acute sense of knowledge of a person or object by touch which Richie lovingly called his Vibe Checks- and of course, his speed. Eddie had always been a fast runner, ever since they were kids, and he had been shaping up to be a big track star before the Powers had appeared to him. Afterwards, however, Eddie could run the length of the entirety of the country in mere seconds. 

They’d stayed up together that whole night, talking and crying and kissing, and they’d felt so good about everything. Richie thought having a superhero boyfriend was maybe the coolest thing that could ever happen to anybody, even if he wasn’t allowed to tell another living being. While still living in Derry, things hadn’t been so different with Eddie having powers. Things really changed when they moved out to New York City. Richie had always known Eddie was a good person, the best person, but he’d never accounted for how Eddie’s powers would come into play when they were suddenly in a city with other Supers and a sky high crime rate. 

They’d tried to make it work, Richie beyond supportive in Eddie’s crime fighting causes. (Hello, superhero boyfriend? Still the coolest shit ever!) but one misstep, one single incident where Richie’s safety had been put on the line, and Eddie had stopped them in their tracks. It hadn’t even been because of Eddie’s identity, Richie had been in a strictly wrong place wrong time sort of situation but Eddie had lost it. Claimed that their relationship was a liability for Eddie, that Richie was Eddie’s biggest weakness and that Eddie couldn’t risk Richie’s safety like that. Richie had argued tooth and nail, claiming that breaking up didn’t mean that they weren’t in love and that Eddie shouldn’t be giving up his personal life for these powers but it had fallen on deaf ears. Eddie had packed up his belongings and left their shared apartment. They’d tried to stay friends, but the love between them kept things strained. 

Richie padded into the kitchen and grabbed a can of pop from the fridge. He offered one up to Eddie, who shook his head as Richie knew that he would. He hopped up onto one of the seats on the counter and stared Eddie down. Eddie leaned forward on his elbows. 

“We can’t keep having this same argument, Richie.” Eddie said in his prim and rehearsed voice. “It’s not because I don’t love you-”

Richie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head quickly. “God, you just said we can’t keep this argument. I don’t need to hear this fucking speech again. You gave it to me when we broke up, you gave it to me six months ago on my birthday after we got drunk and-” Richie broke off and exhaled hard. “I’m sorry I talked about your spandex on my blog, I’ll try to tone down the flirting when I talk about you.”

“No.” Eddie sighed, resting his chin in his hands. “I overreacted. You didn’t say anything you wouldn’t have said about anybody else on there. And you’re right, people would need to know who I am to connect you to me. And nobody knows who either of us are.”

Richie blew out a long breath, flicking his thumb against the tab of his pop can. “Actually, Eds… somebody might know who I am. So, yeah, I should be more careful when talking about you on there. You’re the one who was right as usual.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open and he pushed away from the table to round on Richie. He grabbed him by his shoulders and forced Richie to meet his gaze. “Richie. What are you talking about.”

“I’m not really sure, honestly, it was weird.” Richie ducked out of Eddie’s touch, frowning as the memory of his class that morning washed back over him. “It was some.. Guy in my theory of screenwriting lecture? He just sat down beside me and he addressed me by name and then asked if I was the one who wrote Spotted!. I told him I wasn’t, because you and Bev are both always on my ass about keeping it a secret, and then he told me…”

Richie stopped and looked up at Eddie. Eddie stared back at him, holding Richie’s eye line longer than he had in the two years since they’d called an end to their romantic relationship. “What, Rich? What did he say?”

“He said that Professor Fly would be making an appearance tonight.”

Eddie’s expression remained blank for several moments before the usual chaotic energy took him back over. “Why would he say that? How does he know that? How does he know you? There’s no way that’s true, nobody has heard anything from Professor Fly for almost three years. Not even FlyBoy knows where he is, he’s retired. There’s nothing he’d come back for, not unless it was the end of the world big. Is this the end of the world big? Richie?”

“I don’t know, Eds. He didn’t give me an itinerary for the night's events.” Richie said. “I think he just wanted me to post it on my blog like I’m some sort of gossip column. It’s not a big deal.” But Eddie didn’t look convinced and Richie could practically hear the little hamster wheel in his head running. “Unless you know something that’s going to happen tonight?”

“No.” Eddie said immediately, shaking his head. “I haven’t heard anything besides minor crimes and car accidents the last couple weeks. It’s been… almost too calm. I don’t like the sound of this guy, Richie, and I definitely don’t like what he’s suggesting. I’m gonna- I’m gonna talk to some people. Don’t leave this apartment and don’t post on Spotted! until I get back.” 

“You’re not my boss!” Richie cried as Eddie tore out of his apartment like a tornado. 

Eddie returned quickly, as Eddie was prone to do. He stumbled into the apartment as dusk began to settle outside, a tray of coffees in his hands. “Okay, we only have a few hours to figure this out.” 

Beverly had been just getting into the apartment when Eddie had come in and nearly crushed her behind the door. She frowned as Eddie handed her one of the steaming paper cups and somebody came into the apartment behind him.

“Stan from Starbucks?” Richie asked with a frown, watching as Stan and another tall, black man he didn’t recognize came into his apartment. “Eds, I get you wanted coffee or whatever but you don’t need to bring the store back with you.”

Stan placed the only non-hot beverage down onto the counter. “I’m going to tell you something, and you need to promise not to be weird about it.” Richie stared at Stan with his drink raised half way up to his lips, and Stan let out a low sigh. “I’m FlyBoy.”

Richie whipped around to glare at Eddie, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “FlyBoy has been Stan from Starbucks this entire fucking time, and you didn’t think to tell me that?”

“It isn’t exactly my secret to tell anybody.” Eddie said with a chill to his voice. “And honestly, even if I could have told you, I wouldn’t have. You have a weird crush on him and the last thing we need is you running off and getting some high stress relationship with a superhero.”

A superhero who isn’t me. Eddie maybe didn’t say it, maybe wasn’t even aware that he’d implied the words at all, but Richie heard them perfectly clear. Richie scoffed, dropping his drink onto the counter and stepping away from the group just slightly. “You don’t really get any say in who I do or don’t like, Eddie. It’s actually none of your business at all.”

“It is if it’s something that’s going to put you in danger, Richie!” Eddie snapped back, hand cutting through the air. A manic gesture of Eddie’s that Richie usually found cute, but could only manage to find irritating in this moment. “You put yourself in harms way enough with this stupid blog and just even knowing me, I would never let you-”

“Let me? Let me?” Richie chuckled humorlessly. “You are not the boss of me, Eddie. You’re not my parents, you’re my boyfriend. So, thank you very much for all the over the top concern about whether or not I’m getting myself into trouble but I’m going to have to politely tell you to mind your fucking business for once in your life.”

Eddie gaped at him, almost forming words before losing them again. The black man who had come into the apartment with Eddie and Stan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry but this seems like a pretty serious personal issue, and we have something important we need to handle, so...”

“Yes.” Eddie said, voice cracking. Richie glanced at him and tried not to let the hint of tears that were pooling in Eddie’s eyes. “Richie, this is Mike Hanlon. You probably know him as-”

“Freezie.” Mike held his hand out and Richie only hesitated for a moment before Mike laughed. “Don’t worry, man. I have to actually want to turn you into ice for it to happen. Though I do have some horror stories when I first started developing my powers, I’m not gonna lie.” 

“Mr Medusa.” Richie said with a grin, gripping Mike’s hand firmly and giving a body moving shake.  Mike gave a laugh while both Stan and Eddie rolled his eyes at his antics. 

“You know how misleading that nickname is, right?” Stan asked dryly. “Mike turns people to ice with his hands, Medusa turned people to stone by looking at them and her head full of snakes. It’s really not even that close of a comparison, it just implies you don’t know anything about Greeky mythology.”

“Excuse me, I’m a gay Gen Z. Of course I fucking know Greek mythology. I read Percy Jackson.” Richie said with a wave of his hand. Stan gaped at him for a moment before Eddie blew the wrapper from Richie’s straw at Richie’s head. 

“He’s also a fucking Ancient Civilization minor.” Eddie said in a mixture of fondness and irritation. “Don’t let him fool you with his stupidity, he’s actually incredibly smart.” 

“Okay, yeah, this is great.” Beverly spoke up suddenly, dropping her shopping bags onto the kitchen counter. “But do you guys wanna tell me what the hell is going on exactly?”

“Yes, I’d like to know, too.” Stan said, taking a seat at the small, banged up wooden table. “Eddie didn’t exactly give much details as he was superhero sprinting around the Starbucks and making like $30 worth of product he didn't pay for.” 

Eddie waved Stan off. “We might be in for a long night.” He said, dropping into the seat beside Stan. Mike and Beverly both moved to take the last two seats around the table and Richie jumped up to sit on top of the table between Eddie and Stan. He maybe positioned himself a little bit closer to Stan, just to watch Eddie’s jaw clench.

“Richie, why don’t you tell everybody what you told me earlier.” Eddie said in his very best teacher voice. 

Richie sighed. “I still think you’re making too big a deal out of this, Eds, really. But basically some guy came up to me in class today, and accused me of running the Spotted! Blog and then told me that  Professor Fly is going to come back tonight.” 

Stan’s head jerked to look at Richie, eyes wide. “That’s impossible. Who told you this?”

Richie shrugged. “I don’t man, some weirdo. Think he said his name was Bill?”

Beverly startled at her seat, knocking one of the coffees to the ground. Everybody turned to look at her and her face had lost nearly all colour. “Uh… did he have a scar running through his eyebrow?” 

“Yeah… how do you know that?” 

Beverly scratched at the side of her neck. “I went on a few dates with him last semester, he's a weird dude. I wouldn’t read too much into this, I’m sure he’s just trying to stir up drama. His brother died when he was young, and he never really got over it.”

A shoulder crossed over Stan’s face and he sighed sadly. “Georgie Denbrough. That was…. A tragedy.” 

Mike and Eddie made matching sympathetic sounds and Richie pulse jumped. “Okay, you all clearly know what the fuck is going on, from your super secret like Justice League meetings or something, but anybody want to catch me up? Who is Georgie Denbrough and what happened to him?”

“Georgie Denbrough was Professor Fly’s biggest shame. His failure as a hero.” Stan said, voice almost completely monotone. “It was just before he started training me to take over for him, I’ve always suspected it was the reason why he was choosing to retire. The Professor was trying to save a group of children from a predator and somehow the battle got really intense. The predator had powers that The Professor hadn’t anticipated, and The Professor’s powers back fired when he tried to catch the man. It caused the building to explode. Most of the children were okay, scrapes and bruises, maybe a broken bone or so, but Georgie Denbrough… He lost an arm in the explosion and he bled out before help could arrive. The boy died and the villain got away. He never really recovered from it.”

“Neither did Bill Denbrough,” Beverly jumped in. “When we were going out, it was pretty much all he talked about. How Professor Fly killed his little brother and ruined Bill’s life. He hates superheroes because of it. He probably doesn't know shit, but at least suspects that Richie knows some heroes and will tell them what he said. It’s a set up.”

Stan nodded. “There’s no way The Professor is going to be out tonight. Nothing would pull him out of retirement, trust me.”

Eddie rubbed his hands together. “Maybe.” He said shortly. “But we don’t know that it’s a trap for us. It’s possible this Bill guy has something planned tonight to try and bring Professor Fly out. We can’t risk people getting hurt because we don’t know what this guy's plan is. I think we should have all hands on deck tonight if we can.”

“Eddie’s right.” Mike said. “Even if it is a trap for us, we agreed to this sort of risk when we started acting as heroes. We knew what we were getting into, we can’t just sit around and do nothing when lives are at risk. Best case scenario, this Bill guy is full of shit and just running his mouth and nothing happens but we need to prepare for the worst.”

“I can’t imagine him going so far out of his way to figure out who’s running that blog just for it to be nothing.” Stan said quietly. 

“Maybe that’s part of the plan,” Richie jumped in. “He wanted me to post about Professor Fly’s return, probably to lure out people and heroes to whatever it was he was going to do. Maybe if I don’t post it then he’ll just drop the whole thing because he’s not getting the audience that he wants.”

“You should post it.” Beverly said suddenly, using some of the shitty dollar store dish cloths to wipe up the spilled coffee all over the floor. A large round of disagreement spread out amongst the heroes until Bev held her hand up for quiet. “I might not know much about this whole superhero world, or whatever, but how are you supposed to catch this guy if he doesn’t go through with his plan? You can’t exactly go after somebody for figuring out that Richie is caught up with superheroes.”

Eddie muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like “I can fucking try” but none of the heroes had any sort of argument against Beverly’s claims. 

“Spotted! Isn't a gossip column!” Richie cried, tossing his hands in the air, nearly taking Stan’s eye out. “I’m not posting some unfounded bullshit about Professor Fly and killing my brand for this Bill dude’s fucking vandetta.”

“Your blog’s brand is more important to you than saving lives?” Mike asked, giving Richie big, sad puppy eyes.

“We don’t know it’ll save lives!” Richie argued. “For all we know, sending out a blast could be what gets people killed. If you think we should all go out and keep on eye on stuff, then fine but-”

“Whoa, whoa!” Eddie cut him off quickly. “What do you mean we? You’re not coming with us if we go out there, Richie. You and Bev aren’t leaving this apartment tonight, you could be a target!”

“YOU’RE NOT MY BOSS!” Richie leapt off the table and stalked away from Eddie, hands trembling at his sides. “I’m so sick of you telling me what I can and can’t do! You can’t control me, Eddie.”

Eddie’s head jerked back as though it had been slapped, and a wounded look crossed his face that Richie wouldn’t let himself feel bad about. “I’m not trying to control you, Richard. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“Oh, really?” Richie laughed. “So, you making a point not to tell me you knew who FlyBoy was when you were under the impression I might have a crush on him wasn’t you keeping me safe, and not at all you not wanting me to date somebody that isn’t you.”

Eddie stood up and walked around to where Richie was standing angrily behind the counter. He didn’t touch him but his hands hovered just above Richie’s arms. “I didn’t tell you who FlyBoy was because it's a secret identity for a reason. It’s not like it was really my place to SAY anything to you about it, alright? You can date whoever the fuck you want, obviously, because I didn’t stop you from going on those dates with Connor Whathisfuck last year and I hated that guy so much it actually burned my soul. I want you to be happy, okay? I’d never stop you from dating somebody. Stan is right there if you wanna go ask him out right now, you pleeb.” 

Richie glanced over Eddie’s shoulders at where the people around the table were all staring at them. Stan wrinkled up his nose. “Please don’t.”

Richie rolled his eyes and snorted. “Don’t worry, Stan my Man. If I’d known FlyBoy was somebody as boring as you, I wouldn’t have dedicated so much time to him in the first place.” 

Richie tried to ignore Eddie’s relieved sigh in his ear. 

Eddie didn’t budge on his statement that Richie and Beverly would be staying behind at their apartment, as Richie didn’t budge his refusal to post false information on this blog. “If you want me to make some sort of announcement, it has to be something true. That’s just how it is.”

“You could post about seeing the three of us teaming up.” Mike suggested as Richie was really just focusing on not looking at his bare chest as he changed into his suit. “That will be enough to get the public's attention and let this Bill Denbrough know we’re taking him seriously without having to leak false information about Professor Fly.”

Richie nodded in agreement as Eddie padded over him to his little tight red spandex supersuit. Richie’s breath caught as it always did when he saw Eddie as Captain Fast. “Don’t say anything until you’re sure we’re a decent way away from the apartment. Just because somebody figured out that you run the blog doesn’t mean that we should be leading towards the place you live. Play it safe, Rich.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Richie waved it off, but they both knew at the end of the day even as much as Richie fought it, he was going to follow Eddie’s advice. As the group moved towards the front door, Eddie suddenly spun around and grabbed hold of Richie’s waist. He tugged him into a tight hug, pressing his face against Richie’s shoulder.

“Please, please, be careful, Rich.” Eddie whispered into Richie’s body. “I have a really bad feeling.”

“Yeah, Eds. I’ll be careful.” Richie squeezed Eddie tightly until the other man pulled back. There was a split second where Richie was certain that Eddie was about to lean in for a kiss. The moment broke as Eddie’s cheeks turned pink and he looked away. He pulled the matching red mask over his eyes and followed the rest of Mike and Stan from the apartment. 

Richie wallowed in his poor, confused little gay heart for roughly ten minutes before he took out his phone and sent out the blast. 

Spotted! What must be the coolest new trio in NYC: FlyBoy, Captain Fast and Freezie heading out on the town. Is this just a  (super)mans night out- or is something much more sinister in the works for not so little city? I think we can all only wait and see. This blogger advises his readers to stay home tonight, and keep an eye on the news and little old me for your updates.

Richie didn’t even have a chance to put his phone back into his pocket before Beverly was stomping into the room and tossing a black hoodie over his head. He pulled it away and caught sight of Beverly with her red hair tied up in a long red, curly ponytail. She wore black jeans and black tank top that showed off a black triangle tattoo on her left arm. She raised her brow and nodded at him. “Hurry up, get into something dark and let’s go.”

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo.” Richie said slowly. 

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Beverly said. “Now hurry up and let's go. We have stuff we have to do.”

“I told Eddie I was gonna stay in the apartment.” Richie said, fidgeting with the fabric of the hoodie in his hands. “I think we-”

“I thought Eddie wasn’t the boss of you.” Beverly said, cocking her brow. Richie’s face burned as he tugged the plain back sweater over his head and put his feet back into messy converse sneakers. Beverly was already halfway down the hallway before Richie was even out of the apartment’s door. When they exited the stairway into the lobby, there was a man waiting there in matching all black outfit with the same triangle tattoo on his left arm. He had thick muscled arms, but chubby cheeks and wide eyes that seemed to still hold onto some sort of childhood innocence. 

Beverly pressed a quick kiss to his lips and Richie blinked. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. The words died on Richie’s tongue as a weird feeling overcame him in that moment. “Richie, this is Ben. Ben, Richie.”

Ben held his hand out and Ben’s shake was warm and firm. Somehow Richie felt like his skin was crawling as Beverly pressed her hands between Richie’s shoulder blades and began to push him out towards the front of the building. 

“I uh” Richie cleared his throat, heart hammering in his chest. “Where are we going? Eddie’s probably right that we should stay inside, we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Don’t be such a chicken shit.” Beverly grinned at him, and Richie shivered as a chill rushed through his spine. “Aren’t you at all curious about what might be going on? Come on, it’ll be fine. It’s not like we’re actually a target for anything. Denbrough was probably just trying to use you for your site.”

Immediately, Richie had been curious- almost morbidly so. Until this very moment when all he wanted to do was run back to his apartment and spend the rest of the night hiding under his blankets. But Richie Tozier had never been very good at trusting himself or any of his instincts, and he allowed Beverly and Ben to guide him into the black car parked out front. 

Then didn’t drive far, and pulled up to some sort of abandoned warehouse. Every couple of seconds there was a flash of light from inside the cracked and shattered glass windows. Richie’s breath started catching in his throat with every attempt to breathe. “What- where are we?”

Beverly turned to where Richie was trying to fade into the back seat of the car, and looked almost sad. “I’m sorry, Rich. It wasn’t supposed to go this way.” 

xxx

Eddie actually hated wearing spandex, but it was an incredibly durable fabric. With the amount of moving he did, it was the most logical choice in costume. But Eddie was never truly comfortable when in costume.

“If I ask you something, could you answer without getting bitchy?” Stan suddenly whispered in his ear. He, Mike and Eddie had only reached the main core of the Lower West Side. Eddie turned to him and narrowed his eyes as best as he could home to do with a mask covering half his face. “Do you ever think of giving it up? Hanging up your suit and just being a normal person. Letting yourself really love Richie?” 

Eddie’s face burned nearly the colour of the suit. He spent the better part of the last two years trying not to think about how he was in love with Richie Tozier and in the last three years, it was the only thing at the front of his mind. “I try not to think about it, honestly, because it’s not an option. I didn’t choose to have these powers, or this life. But as long as I have them, I have to do the right thing. I don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t know.” Stan said slowly. “I think you should be able to do what’s best for you. You deserve to be happy.”

“I’m happy enough.” Eddie lied. “Do you think we should split up and cover more ground?”

“Yeah.” Mike jumped in as the conversation changed back into the professional task at hand. “Especially since we don’t really know what the situation is, so keep your ear pieces in and buzz into the others if you come across anything.” 

“Alright,” Stan agreed, though he shot Eddie a this isn’t over look from the corner of his eye. “Eddie and I have a much easier way to travel, so Mike you can stay in this area.” Stan and Eddie agreed on their own sections of the general NYU area- the area that had always been protected by Professor Fly in the height of his career- and Eddie took off running. Eddie had always loved running, and it was the only part of being a hero that he still enjoyed. Sometimes, on nights when Eddie just couldn’t be bothered to care, he’d just run for miles. Just see how far he could go. He’d reached the Canadian border once before he decided it was a waste of his gift. 

Eddie slowed down into a simple walk once he reached his section of town, when somebody reached out and grabbed hold of Eddie’s arm. Eddie gasped at the feeling of utter desperation that sort through him belonging to the person who touched him. A pair of icy blue eyes under a scarred eyebrow met Eddie’s and Eddie’s heart leapt right into his mouth.

“What are you doing here?” Bill Denbrough demanded. “You’re not supposed to be here! Didn’t Richie tell you about my warning?”

“Your- your warning?” Eddie squawked. “So, you tracking him down and telling him some bogus tip about Professor Fly was supposed to be a warning? A warning of what- that you’re insane?” 

Denbrough shook his head, brown hair falling into his head. “No. No.” He said desperately, nails digging into Eddie’s skin. “Professor Fly would never return, FlyBoy would know that. Didn’t you tell FlyBoy? It’s a trap, you were all supposed to stay home! You’re all in danger!” 

Eddie tried to pull his arm free but Denbrough’s grip was too tight. “You’re hurting me!” Eddie cried, chest starting to feel the too familiar pressure of an asthma attack- though he hadn’t one a single one since his powers had come in. 

“I k-k-know you have more powers than just sp-speed.” Denbrough said, stepping even further into Eddie’s space and grabbing hold of his other arm. “You can s-s-sense me, r-right? You’ll no-no-know if I’m d-dan-dangerous!” 

Eddie felt a lot of things about Bill Denbrough. Guilt, fear, desperation. There was something bleak and sad under the surface but there was no hint of a threat to him. “What do you want?” Eddie asked in a shaking voice.

Bill Denbrough’s eyes darted around Eddie. “Where’s R-R-Richie? Is he w-w-ith you? Where is h-he?”

“He’s safe.” Eddie promised even as his own heart stuttered and panicked. “He’s back at his apartment with his roommate, they’re both-”

Bill’s eyes widened in horror. “NO! No, you can’t t-t-t-t-fuck- trust Beverly! She’s n-n-not who you think she is!” 

Eddie started shaking his head. “No offence, but I’ve known Beverly for a year and I’ve only known you five minutes and you seem pretty unhinged. Why should I believe you when you say I can’t trust her, if I have no reason to trust you?”

“Have you ever tou-tou-touched her?” Bill demanded. “In the yuh-year you’ve known her, ha-have your body ev-ever even graze-grazed hers?” Eddie opened his mouth but froze. “No. It ha-hasn’t. I know it ha-hasn’t, be-because she knows if you ha-had ever tou-touched her, you’d kn-know the truth about her. And everything would have been ru-ruined.”

Eddie shook his head. “What’s she going to do to him?”

Bill frowned. “This wuh-wuh-wasn’t the plu-plan. I don’t- there’s only one place s-sh-she’d take him. But you have to tr-tr-trust me.”

It wasn’t in Eddie’s nature to be particularly trusting, and Bill wasn’t exactly somebody who was inspiring much benefit of the doubt. But his hands were still digging into Eddie’s arms and the only thing Eddie could sense was fear and deeper down- guilt that Eddie suspected he felt at all times. “Okay.” Eddie said, and as Bill let go of him, Eddie flicked on this ear piece’s speaker. 

Bill didn’t lead Eddie too far away, the pair of them travelling in silence and Eddie secretly wishing that Bill would simply tell him where the location was so Eddie could run there. If something happened to Richie while Eddie was wasting his time walking, he’d never forgive himself. Eventually, Bill led him over to the warehouse with lights that flashed through broken windows. He could make out figures walking around inside as he and Bill attempted to sneak into the warehouse without being noticed. 

There was a large glass sphere in the middle of the room, surrounded by what looked like burn white lightning that occasionally sparked brighter and caused the room to brighten as though large fluorescent lights flicked on overhead. Richie was seated a few feet away on the floor, bound against a large cement pillar that connected all the way up to the ceiling. He appeared unharmed, if not mildly annoyed. Eddie’s heart raced all the same Beverly and a man Eddie didn’t recognize both paced around the same space.

“Billy…” Beverly came to a full stand still. Bill froze at Eddie’s side. “There’s no need to sneak around. Come out, we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

Bill pressed a single finger against his lips, before turning and stepping out of the shadows. “You’re m-may-making a big m-m-mistake, Beverly. He’s n-n-n-not who he says he is.”

“I think you’re the one who’s not who he says he is.” Beverly said, turning around and facing Bill with her arms crossed. “Going behind our backs and telling Richie some crap about Professor Fly? Bringing your existence to his attention? You forced our hand, Billy. Mr Scratch isn’t going to be pleased.”

“He-He’s not guh-good, Bev!” Bill cried, hands clutched at his side. “What do you th-th-think he’s going to do with it wuh-wuh-when he gets it? He-He’s puh-playing you both!”

“He is not!” Beverly cried. “He’s going to do exactly what told us! Why did you have to go and fuck up the plan?”

“Excuse me!” Richie cried, voice dripping with sarcasm. “But if I’m going to be killed, can you guys at least do me the decency of letting me know what you’re talking about in my final moments.”

“You’re not going to die.” Beverly’s male friend said softly. “Nobody is going to get hurt.”

“You’re a fuh-fool if you buh-believe that, Ben!” Bill said, taking steps closer into the room. “Richie, this mach-machine has the ab-ability tr-train a super-superhero of their p-p-powers. Mr Scr-scratch hates heroes and he-”

“Like you’re any better!” Beverly shouted over Bill’s explanation. “You’ve been with him longer than either of us! Heroes killed your brother, you hate them just as much as the rest of us. Maybe ever more! They ruined all our lives!” Beverly turned towards Richie and took a few steps towards him. “I lost my parents when I was little. My father was an awful man, he chased my mother away when I was only six. He died when I was 11, and my aunt took me in. For two years, I experienced happiness for the first time. I loved my aunt and she loved me, took care of me for the first time since I could remember anything. She was a good person, and superheroes came and ripped my only true family apart. My aunt took into selling drugs after she adopted me, just to get ends to meet. She wasn’t proud of it, but she did what she had to do for me. She was smart, she never would have been caught if the superheroes minded their own business and let police handle things. A bunch of hyped up vigilanties took my aunt away from me, and I went into foster care. I was only 13. When I was 17, Mr Scratch found me. Told me there were others like me, who wanted to even the playing field.”

“By killing all the superheroes?” Richie asked, voice breaking. “Beverly, you have to admit that sounds fucking insane!” 

“It isn’t going to kill them.” Ben added. “The Deadlight doesn’t kill them, it only drains them of their supernatural abilities. Makes them human, normal. Just like everybody else.” 

Richie scoffed, in higher octaves than regular voices. “And then what happens to their powers? They just what? Evaporate?” 

“They’ll be trapped in the Deadlight.” Ben answered. “Forever. No more superheroes.”

“You’re an i-idiot.” Bill said coldly. “Sc-Scratch is obviously going to tuh-take the powers! Guh-get rid of the sue-supers and make himself invisible. Undefeatable.”

“You’re full of shit.” Beverly snapped. “He wouldn’t do that! We’re not evil, or some fucking supervillain cult! All we want in equality! We’d never use any of these powers against anybody!”

 “You two wouldn’t.” Bill said darkly. “I’ve wuh-wuh-wondered if he was really who he suh-said he was for- a luh-long time. But I suh-saw plans in his uh-office. About how to ruh-ruh-reverse the Deadlights. He’s guh-gonna take the puh-powers for him-himself.” 

“You’re a fucking liar!” Beverly screamed. “He wouldn’t do that! He-” 

A suddenly crashing brought Beverly’s screams to a halt. The doors busted open and Stan dropped in, with Mike leaping off his back. Beverly took a step backwards, eyes open wide and Ben moved over to stand almost directly in front of Richie. 

“Where’s Eddie?” Mike demanded, glancing around the room. Eddie cringed and slapped a hand over his forehead, as Beverly and Ben exchanged a shocked expression. Richie looked around wildly, with huge, terrified eyes.

Beverly crossed her arms and looked back to the same shadows that Bill had appeared from. “Okay, Eds. You can come out.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said sharply as he stepped out as well.

“Eddie…” Richie said a quiet, almost broken voice. Eddie tried to give him a reassuring look, but he knew that Richie would be able to see his own fear underneath the attempt. 

Beverly sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alright, this isn’t exactly how I planned on tonight going, though I have to say I did expect to see you all here after I took Richie.”

“Let him go.” Eddie said furiously. “He doesn’t have powers, he isn’t part of this. Let him go.”

Beverly smiled sadly. “No can do, sorry. Richie is actually a key factor to this whole mission. Why do you think I’ve been so encouraging of his little blog? He’s a natural talent, and he’s been so helpful in our acquiring the true identities of these so-called heroes.”

Eddie glanced at Richie, who looked like he might be physically ill. All Eddie wanted to do was rush over and wrap Richie in his arms and keep him safe, but he couldn’t show that weakness in this moment.

“We found Richie through you, though, Eddie.” Beverly said, looking almost… amused. “We didn’t know who you were, but Richie was at most of your scenes and we figured that he knew you. It was Big Bill’s idea that one of befriend him, and figure out what he knows. Does it sting a little, knowing you gave your future with Richie to protect him but you lead us to him anyway?” 

It more than stung, it burned. Eddie’s entire body felt like it was vibrating as he stood there, staring down at women he’d thought of as a friend for more than a year. A woman who’d been living under the same roof as Richie, but wanting only to use him and potentially cause him harm. 

“Oh, Eddie, don’t look like that.” Beverly said, sounding almost genuinely upset. “I already said we aren't gonna hurt him. Nobody is going to get hurt, Bill is just- I don’t even know what he’s trying to do.”

“I’m trying to wa-warn you!” Bill cried. “You’re buh-bluh-blinded stupid but your own luh-loyalty that you cant’ see the uh-aub-obvious truth in fr-fruh-front of you!!”

“This was your cause!” Ben came quickly to Beverly’s defence. “You hate superheroes maybe more than anybody! How can you say this wasn’t what you wanted?”

Bill’s jaw clenched and his bottom lip trembled. “I… I wanted the h-her-heroes gone. But I duh-didn’t want anybody to guh-get their powers and uh-use them for them-themselves.”

“You’re the only person who's acting like that’s going to happen.” Ben snapped. Eddie thought this was his moment, the first time he’d been able to see a true path of entrance. Everybody’s eyes were torn between Bill and Ben, this could be Eddie’s chance to get over to Richie and free him. Eddie, maybe for the first time in his life, misjudged his position. 

Beverly’s hands collided hard with Eddie’s chest, the strength of her anger and resentment hitting him hard and shocking him to his core. He understood now more than ever why Beverly hadn’t made the mistake of touching Eddie in the year they’ve known one another. He may not have felt any true evil inside her, like he had felt in many a foe before, and there was still a lingering of a sad, scared little girl at her core but none of the vibes she was giving to him at this moment was reassuring. He would have kept her far away from Richie, he would have figured out enough about her, and this plan would never have worked.

Beverly taking Eddie by utter surprise had given her even more of an advantage. He knocked Eddie backwards and he stumbled backwards, crashing directly into the Deadlight. An electric charge drove through every nerve in his body and he was thrown across the empty warehouse by a bolt of white lightning. He heard Richie scream his name, but it was like a buzzing deep in the back of his mind. 

The harsh impact to the hard ground jarred Eddie back into himself, though a small bit dazed. He’d landed not far from where Richie was tied up. He shuffled backwards, groaning as the oddest sensation of discomfort shot through his body, but he didn’t stop until he could rest his head against Richie’s knee. 

“Holy shit, Eds!” Richie gasped, fighting against his bindings even as it shook Eddie’s resting head. “How the fuck are you alive right now? You just got yeeted across the room by lightning!” 

Eddie grumbled as he reached blindly behind their bodies to untie Richie’s bondings. It must have been a testament to how shocking the last few moments had been as nobody attempted to stop them. Richie winced and rubbed at his hands for a moment before reaching out and cupping Eddie’s face. Eddie smiled as his eyes flushed shut and he leaned into the touch. 

“Are you okay?” Richie said in a low voice. It wasn’t quite a whisper, Richie never actually whispered, but it was soft and worried and so full of love that Eddie felt he might cry. 

“Yeah.” Eddie said back. “I’m okay. Promise promise.” 

Richie’s face broke into a relieved grin and pressed a hard kiss to Eddie’s voice. Maybe it had been the actual bolt of lightning that had just gone through Eddie’s body, but it felt so charged that Eddie even let out a small gasp. Then it all hit him and his eyes blew open wide. “Richie, I can’t feel you.”

“What? You can’t feel anything?” Richie asked in a panic. 

“No!” Eddie cried, shifting to sit up properly and grabbing Richie’s hands to tangle them together. “I can’t feel your spirit, your mood. It’s like… before.”

Richie and Eddie turned in unison to look at the Deadlight. The others all turned to follow their lead. It seemed to be glowing brighter, the lightning revolving around it faster. Eddie’s powers now fueling it. 

“Holy shit.” Mike said at the same time Beverly gasped. “It works.”

“Of course it works,” a deep voice came as a man in a long black cloak appeared out of nowhere. “You doubted me, Beverly? Thank you, you’ve all played your roles perfectly.” Bill startled as the man- Mr Scratch- turned to him and grinned. “Oh yes, even you Dear Bill. I always knew that your moral compass would bring you to betray me. I accounted for the variable since the beginning of our time together.”

As Mr Scratch moved around the circle, Beverly stepped out of his way as though she didn’t even notice she was doing it. She collided with Bill’s torso, and the man reached out to grab at her hand. She didn’t pull away from the touch, pale and shaking as she watched Mr Scratch rounded on the group.

“Stanley.” Mr Scratch said in a slow voice, grin spreading across his face. Stan was standing still as a statue, fists tightened even as tears filled his eyes. “You know who I am already, I can see it all over your face. Well, I never doubted your intelligence. Go ahead and tell them, there’s no need to keep it a secret amongst old friends.”

“Robert Gray.” Stan said through a clenched jaw. A single tear slipped from his ear and trailed down his cheek. “Professor Fly.”

Richie gasped and squeezed Eddie’s hand tightener. Ben stumbled away and crashed into the cement pillar that Richie had just been tied up against. Mike looked at Stan in shock as Beverly slapped a hand over her mouth. Bill pushed past her, rage evident as his face. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER-”

Gray  barely even flicked his wrist and Bill soared off his feet and slammed up against a pillar, easily twenty feet off the ground. “Stupid boy.” Gray said fondly. “You will never be a match for me, and you’ll never outsmart me. I have been planning this moment for nearly a decade. Your brother’s death started a fire that will destroy the entire world of supers as we know it.” 

Bill struggled against the invisible hold Gray had against him, Richie turning his head away from the scene and pressing his face against Eddie’s neck. Eddie could feel how Richie’s hands were shaking where they were connected.

“None of you are giving me enough credit.” Gray said in a bored tone. “Do you have any idea how much work I had to put into this entire thing? I didn’t just have to create the Deadlights, I had to hand pick every single person who would help me. Bill was a no brainer, even as I knew I could never trust him fully. Beverly and Ben had to be vulnerable enough that they would never question me, and that Bill would never feel confident in telling them what he’d figured out.”

“You left the pl-pl-pla-”

“Yes.” Gray interrupted. “I left the plans out on purpose. Haven’t you figured that I don’t leave anything to chance, William? I accounted for every possible outcome. I had to choose Stan very carefully, choose an heir that would follow my orders but never question me when I told him I could not be contacted after I retire. That I would simply never return.” 

Stan turned away bitterly, trying to wipe at the tears on his as inconspicuously as he possibly could. 

“Even after that, I had to pull so many strings. Made sure that Richie and Stan would cross paths, had to let Beverly believe that Richie’s silly little blog was her idea to let them both feel important.” He shot Eddie a slimey grin. “Had to make sure that Richie got caught in that hostage situation just after they moved to NYC so Eddie wouldn’t consider their relationship worth Richie’s life and end things, so there would be space for Beverly to make her move on Richie. I will admit I was hoping that Richie would fall in love with her, but I underestimated his love for Eddie. A small loss, but nothing damaging to the overall scheme.”

Eddie’s body thrummed with rage. Richie had nightmares for a year after that fucking bank heist, and this man had done that to them on purprose for the simply purpose of breaking them up? Richie still had panic attacks and made Eddie or Bev go with him if he needed to do any sort of banking he couldn’t do online. 

“You said nobody was going to be hurt.” Beverly said, tears streaming down her face. “You said- you said you wanted to even the playing field! You’re a monster!”

“Nobody will be hurt.” Gray said. “You will all be free to go, once all the supers have touched the Deadlight and given up their powers. You’ll all be able to go on with your lives, and I will be able to go on with mine. Once your powers are gone, you’ll have no reason to oppose me and I will have no reason to bother you again.”

Beverly and Ben stood directly in front of the Deadlight, the pain on their faces from the flashing bursts of lightning behind them. Stan was staring directly at Gray, face a mask of rage even as tears fell from his eyes. Richie hadn’t moved from where he’d hidden himself against Eddie.

“You killed my brother on purpose.” Bill said from above them. He was still fighting against Gray’s grip. 

For the first time, Gray’s composure slipped. “No.” He said shortly. “That was a tragic accident. That moment changed me forever. It was when I realized that all of those with powers, even myself, were capable of death and destruction. That we were all inherently evil. The day, I knew that I could not allow another person to hold such powers over another being again. You know, Billy- your brother is the reason for all of this. He gave his life for the new world order-”

Bill let out an intelligible scream but Gray could so much as speak, Mike Hanlon had launched himself from the crowd and latched himself onto Gray’s back. Eddie watched with mouth gape as Gray struggled against the hold before clear blue ice began to spread across his body in a matter of seconds. As the ice completely covered Gray, Bill began to free fall. Stan didn’t waste a single moment before launching up into the sky and catching Bill mid-fall and lowering them both to the ground. He let go of Bill as they touched down and rushed over to Eddie and Richie, one hand finding its way into Richie’s hair and the other falling on top of their joined hands.

“That’s the trick to villains.” Mike said, not even sounding out of breath. “You gotta get ‘em while they’re monologuing.” 

Beverly, face hard, stepped forward and kicked at Gray’s frozen chest. He tittered and fell backwards, shattering into pieces as he hit the ground. “I think it’s safe to say he didn’t account for those variables.” 

They were quiet for a long moment, Stan helping Richie and Eddie to their feet and holding onto them as they all moved towards the shattered ice pieces in the middle of the room. Even in the chilly night, they could see the beginning signs of melting.

“We nn-n-need to d-d-estory this fucking thing.” Bill said suddenly, all of them turning towards the Deadlight. Hums of agreement moved through the room. 

“Wait.” Richie said, tightening his hold on Eddie’s waist. “You said that the powers could be taken out right? We need to get Eddie’s powers back!”

“Oh, yeah!” Bill said quickly. “I- I’ll s-s-see if I can find the instructions ag-again.”

Do you ever think of giving it up? Hanging up your suit and just being a normal person. Letting yourself really love Richie?

“Wait.” Eddie said, throwing out a hand. “Don’t. I don’t want them back.”

Every eye in the room turned to him, Stan smiling even as tears still hung in his eyes. “I never wanted them,” Eddie carried on. “I didn’t want to be some hero, saving people. I wanted to run track and fix cars and be with my love of my life.”

Richie turned slowly, eyes wide and painfully hopeful. “Eddie, don’t do this for shit for me. Please, okay, I-”

“I’m not doing it for you.” Eddie turned and slid his arms around Richie’s shoulders. “I’m doing it for me. I don’t need these bullshit powers. I can run perfectly fine with my own two normal feet, and I would love to be able to touch a person without knowing their moral count or pick up something in somebodys house without knowing if its fucking haunted or not.”

Richie chuckled wetly.

“And I love you so much.” Eddie continued. “And all I want is to be with you, it’s all I’ve ever wanted since the fucking sixth grade. I’m tired of loving each other and being forced apart and just hurting each other over and over. Especially over these stupid powers I was cursed with. I don’t want them back. I wanna be with you and I wanna be happy.”

Richie ducked down and pressed his lips against Eddie’s. This time Eddie knew the sparks that seemed to shoot through him was no lightning shot- just love. 

Spotted! FlyBoy, Captain Fly and Freezie teaming up with three civilians and your truly to foil a truly evil plan, saving not just our city but possibly our entire world. (Eyewitnesses may claim that Freezie did all the work, but that remains to be proven.) And in case you missed it, there was an epic conclusion to an equally epic love story. You know what they say, all’s well that ends great… or however the saying goes!

[new-endings]

The Nice and Accurate Guide to Courting

Was I supposed to go to church and find out myself that it’s World Marriage Day? yes again i know it’s a catholic thing but these two are V MARRIED and deserve to celebrate. 

Anyways here’s a thing I posted on ao3

Summary: As Hell’s bastard prince, Crowley is expected to wed an Archangel of Heaven’s kingdom to bring peace between the two warring nations.

It really is too bad he only has eyes for his sweet, bastard of a Guide, the Principality Aziraphale, who is dead-set on making sure the engagement happens.

For the sake of their kingdoms, Aziraphale leads him through the long, arduous road of winning an Archangel’s favor and affections. However, Crowley would much rather use that romantic guidance to win him over instead.

-as Dictated By Anathema Device, Written in Full Detail By Newton Pulsifer

Step 1: Select the Target (of your Affections)

And thus sayeth the Lord of Heaven:

The wars are pointless. Might as well make a ceasefire. Hey, here’s an idea: bring your most expendable pawn to join in unholy matrimony with one of my elitist wankers to bolster this war-ruined economy.

Or rather, that’s how Crowley perceived the whole ordeal to have gone.

Perhaps a tad cruder than the grand scrolls with its elegant scripts, wriggly signatures and glorious crests and coat-of-arms adorning the designated treaty between their two kingdoms would lead others to believe. But in the end, that hardly mattered to Crowley.

Because spectacle and ceremony aside, Hell really did send their more expendable (but still Royal-Enough-to-Count) pawn to join in unholy matrimony with one of Heaven’s damned Divines. With the Archangels—anointed by the Queen herself as miniature de facto rulers of Heaven’s domains. Sneering, snobbish, stuffy and insufferable and this scheme—

Suicidal. This entire trip, the entire ordeal, and the very notion that the precariously perched balance of peace laid within Crowley, Bastard Prince of Hell’s, begrudging hands— is utterly stupid.

Crowley scowled as he eyed the Garden’s flora. The wisteria withered under his gaze, petal quivering in the face of the sour aura exuded from the sulking Prince. But could they really blame him? Flowers know nothing of having one’s whole life centered around the illegitimacy of one’s birth—constantly reminded of their position as the withered, rotting branch the imperial tree, and then all of a sudden being Granted this fine opportunity to bring honor and peace to his damned Kingdom with the underlying threat of You better not fuck this up looming over their heads—

He heard commotion from beyond the castle gates and the ominous barking of hellhounds beneath. He let a grin snake across his lips. Ah. So the search begins.

He knew galivanting off to make some trouble would earn him a proper reprimand now that they were actually trying to make nice with the Birds, but who did they have to blame it on but themselves? After all, Crowley spent many-a-year crafting his extensive history as a terrorizing nuisance, an intolerable annoyance, an antagonizing—

“Oh, dear…”

Angel?

Crowley peeked behind the archways, catching sight of cloud-puff hair and nervous, wringing hands.

Attached to, unsurprisingly, an Angel, looking down at the ensuing mad scatter below.

There was a curious pull; something that Crowley didn’t bother to question as he inched forward and leaned against the cool stone of the curtain wall. “That one went down like a lead balloon, eh?”

Rather than flinch, the Angel let out an absentminded laugh. “Yes, rather.” He paused, the realization that there was another presence dawning on him. He turned. “Err. Sorry, what was it that you were saying?”

Looking back at it, Crowley would have sworn up and down his breath caught at the sight of cherubic cheeks, sea-storm eyes, and worried-bitten lips. But in reality, the single word Pretty passed through his brain at such an alarming speed that Crowley barely had the attention-span to catch it as the Pretty Angel looked to him expectantly to answer.

Crowley stepped forth from the cool shade of the trees and joined the curious Angel at his perch. “I said that one went down like a lead balloon.”  

“Oh. I suppose you’re right.” His eyes flickered down and he brought his hands together. There that nervous habit was again.

Crowley cleared his throat, eyes overlooking the bailey to the dots of villages over the horizon. “I think it was a bit of an overreaction, to be honest.”

The Angel beside him shrugged, an uneasiness in his voice. “He’s a Prince.”

Ah. So that’s what this Angel was concerned about. He tried to keep the mirth from his voice. “And shouldn’t his footmen have been keeping a better eye on him because of that?” Hats off to Hastur and Ligur for being the best of the worst—Crowley knew he did well in selecting them. “It’s of no consequence to you, Angel.”

“What—of course it does!” Crowley raised a brow as the angel began to fluster all over again. “Oh, dear…He’s supposed to be my charge! I was to be his Guide in our Kingdom!” Panic started to creep into his voice all over again. “I haven’t even met him yet and now—he’s gone!”

It took perhaps a second or two to register what exactly this Angel was saying. Charge? This lovely fool of an Angel—was to be his Guide?

Huh. Maybe Crowley’s luck was taking a turn for the better after all.

“Where could he be? This is terrible—he must feel so lost right now! And alone!” Crowley gave a fascinated smile and was just his luck that the Angel missed it as he cast his eyes to the skies above for guidance, and then earthward for commiseration as the hellhounds sniffed fruitlessly for a trail that Crowley was more than adept at throwing off.

A plan drowsily wormed its way to Crowley’s thoughts. Perhaps he could have a bit of fun here as well. “Hang on there, Angel. I’m sure your charge isn’t too far off.”

The Angel did a double-take at the mysterious figure shrouded in dark robes—perchance comprehending for the first time that he was not conversing with another Bird.  “Did you know the Prince? I ah, assumed you arrived with him,” he asked imploringly. “Perhaps he was merely hungry and wanted a nibble. Or—or he spoke of wanting to visit someplace in the Kingdom?”

That startled a laugh out of Crowley. He lowered his hood, fiery red hair and amber eyes unveiled to the Angel. “You could say that. But no, he didn’t seem to be very interested in…sightseeing, as it were.” He gave a knowing grin. “Perhaps he slithered off just to be a pest.”

“If he were trying to get lost on purpose, that just makes the situation even more difficult and dangerous!” The Angel was frowning again and—did he really not  realize that Crowley was the person he was looking for?

This’ll be even more fun. “There, there.” He gave a friendly pat to the Angel’s shoulder. “I’m sure it’ll be all right. Say, I’ll even help find him for you.” He bit back a chuckle.

But ah… “Oh! You would?” How the Angel lit up like the morning sky at that.

I’d gift you an entire continent if you keep looking at me with those eyes. Crowley shook that thought from his head. “Of course.” He hummed, giving a sly smile. “For a price.”

The Angel blinked once. Then twice. “Oh.” Then, with certainty: “Name it. If it’s mine to give, it’s yours.”

Crowley leaned in closer, tilting his head to catch more of this Angel’s guarded face. Ah, not so soft and vulnerable now… “Oh, Angel. You ought to be careful making deals with Demons.”

The Angel sent him a dry look. “I’m in no mood for your theatrics, err...” He gave a questioning glance.

Without even thinking: “J.” After one second of thinking: J?![

“Jay?” The Angel echoed.

Crowley shook his head; no going back on that one. “No, just J.”

“What does…”

“It’s just a J. Really,” he muttered tersely.

“Okay…J.” The Angel looked more unsure of pronouncing the Demon’s name than the terms of their agreement. “And yes. I’m sure. No price is too great for peace.”

Ah. One of those then. Crowley could understand the noble efforts and the valiant naivete that peace could be kept between their people all through the binding of blood-ties, but he fancied himself more of a realist. Still… “Very well.” He’ll lend a hand regardless for the sweet and foolish Angel before him. “Your name, then.” It’s not like he has a choice in the matter.  

The Angel sputtered. “My—my what?”

Crowley eyed him with confusion and impatience. “Give me your name.”

“What—just because you were saddled with just a J doesn’t quite mean—”

“No, you twat.” He rolled his eyes at the offended gasp from his companion. “I meant I’d like to know your name. That’s all. Unless you’d prefer me to call you Angel all the time. Or Bird.”

The Angel at least had the manners to look embarrassed. “Aziraphale,” he stated, holding out his hand in introduction. “That’s my name.”

Lovely. “Eh. Too long. I’ll stick with Angel instead.” It’s still miles better than Just a J but even Crowley’s subconscious refuses to acknowledge that. Taking the Angel’s hand and leading him away to the grounds below, he said over his shoulder: “Well, let’s be off. He’s obviously not here, right?”

“R-right!”

.

.

It was surprisingly hard work, finding yourself.

Or rather, pretending to find the person that you already are while at the same time avoiding the hellhounds and whatever green Hellions of his Legion still haven’t learned their lesson about not-even-bothering-to-try-and-find-Prince-Crowley-when-he’s-escaped.

That, on top of navigating through a caste town with an Angel (also guilelessly looking for him) at his side.

There were one-too many close calls with a hellhound or two picking up his scent where he had to (regrettably) drag Aziraphale away from bakeries and patisseries towards the iron-sharp stench of the butcher’s just to throw them off. Some distance away, he could hear a soldier wrestling the dogs away from the meats, cursing colorfully with strained effort. It was a good thing his companion did little but eye him suspiciously whenever Crowley did so, but he shrugged it off whenever the Demon began (unwisely) interrogating the man possessing a meat-cleaver on the whereabouts of the Prince of Hell.

By the third hour of his escape, his disappearance was abuzz in all manner of conversation. So much so that it suddenly became quite easy to hide in plain sight. After all, they were expecting the Prince to hide amongst the shadows, fearful of daylight and capture, not be meandering off with a strange Angel he met by the Gardens and cross-examining people of his own location.  

“Are you quite certain that the Prince wouldn’t be err… peckish at this hour?”

It’s barely noon Crowley thought, and no, he wouldn’t be. He wasn’t too fond of mealtime; not when a hot plate of food also meant the whole ordeal of sitting through Beelzebub’s barking orders or the rousing topics of current politics hovering like flies. “I don’t believe so—”

A shadow of disappointment flashed through Aziraphale’s face before a new spark of inspiration brightened it. “Ah, but!” He took Crowley by the arm, leading him to another direction. “You’re a newcomer after all— please, let me interest you in this quaint eatery and show you what delicacies our kingdom has to offer—”

Right…and it had nothing at all to do with the Angel’s whimpering stomach. Crowley chortled. “I thought you wanted to find your charge.” The moment he said that, Crowley regretted it as Aziraphale dropped his hand and the enthusiasm in his step dropped dead.

“Err…right.” He glanced up at his companion sheepishly. Fuck, Crowley mourned. “I mean you’re right, of course.” I made him sad.

“No, no, I, ah.” He glanced down, finding the Angel’s hand and pulling him along. “Let’s go in, shall we?” He dragged the other to a bustling building, a savory aroma wafting through the air. “Maybe we’ll find some clues as to where he’s been from the gossip.”

Aziraphale blossomed radiantly at that. “Quite right, dear!”

Crowley’s heart sputtered in his chest at the unexpected endearment. “L-lead on, Angel.”

.

He didn’t mean to spend the next two hours there. And in Aziraphale’s defense, they did a thorough sweep of the area and listened in on conversation for any hints to the whereabouts of the missing Prince, but that all dissolved into a fine pile of goo to be thrown in a bucket and kicked out to gutters as Crowley got them a table, Aziraphale placed an order for the both of them, and a plate of oysters were set before them. Crowley couldn’t help it if Aziraphale lit up like a sky-full of evening stars.

He looked positively besotted. “Oh, you must try them, J. I insist!”

And so Crowley did. He liked them well enough.

But not nearly as much as he liked watching the look of sheer completion on Aziraphale’s face. Silvery lashes fluttering close, the shape of his lips as he closed his mouth around the tasty morsels, the breathless sighs—

Crowley shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was ever-fortunate that years of casting a mask of indifference on his face during mealtimes prepared him for this.

Then: a plate of something sweet, decadent, and sugary was placed between them. “We mustn’t forget about dessert!” Aziraphale happily intoned.

Satan preserve us. Crowley watched on, pupils dilating ever-so-slightly as Aziraphale lapped up the cream.

.

.

It was sundown and Aziraphale was doomed.

NO—not just Aziraphale.

His country, their entire nation, the KINGDOMS OF HEAVEN AND HELL—

The two footmen in charge of the Prince in the first place actually had the gall to look bored. In just a few minutes, the Prince would need to be announced before his intended suitors and if the Prince doesn’t appear through those ridiculously ornate doors to the grand ballroom—

Political tensions would skyrocket to an all-time high. There would be distrust between the efforts of peace between the two nations. Uncertainty and suspicion would overrun the entire efforts to stop conflict and they’ll be back at each other’s throats all over again, ravaging war after fruitless war, sacrificing resources, land, citizens for the sake of the elite’s gain—

“Calm down, Angel,” J’s voice rattled off in his head. “It’ll work out in the end. Just. Breathe.”

Just breathe. Just. Breathe.

Breathing did bollocks. Where was that wine…

A sizeable crowd had gathered now, consisting of high-ranking commanders and officials: the Seraphs, Cherubs, even some Dominions. Their gazes briefly flitted past the Demons, snorting in amusement as their eyes flickered over to where Aziraphale stood by the threshold. The Principality tried not to squirm under their calculating stares.

He ought to have faith—that’s right. He ought to have faith that all will go according to the plan—well. Whatever plan She had in store.

Her Majesty the Queen may not have been completely clear in her instructions as she bequeathed him the responsibility of guiding Crowley, Prince of Hell, through their culture and kingdom in order to dutifully bind his life to that of the Divines—nevermind that it doesn’t make a tick of sense that Crowley needs to woo one of them in the first place if the goal is to simply establish peace by the sharing of bloodlines and all that — but he’s an Angel.

And Angels were made to obey even if the ineffable plan was quite…in-affable.

The doors opened and a Demon’s lazy drawl commenced. Aziraphale’s pulse quickened.

“May I present to you—”

Oh—

“His Royal Highness, son of King Lucifer of the Kingdom of Hell—”

—Fuck.

“Prince Anthony J Crowley.”

A beat of silence. Aziraphale felt the blood drain from his face.

But then: “Just Crowley is fine.”

If it was possible to choke on absolutely nothing, Aziraphale would have been granted a very strange and rather rude epitaph if he happened to croak at this very moment. Well, one could suppose he did choke on the incredulity of the scene before him:

Of J sauntering through the doors with regal indifference, too-cool-to-be-bothered demeanor in his dark royal garb, nonchalant and nonplussed as if he didn’t just give Aziraphale a heart attack at the lightning-strike realization that he had just spent the entire afternoon looking for the damned Prince—only for said Prince to lead him around town square on a wild goose chase.

Aziraphale couldn’t move—couldn’t breathe. He was humiliated—for sure—but he hadn’t planned on doing anything about it within the vicinity of the eyes of Heaven’s elites—

That was, until J—Prince Crowley—caught his gaze and sent him a smarmy grin.

.

Aziraphale was rightfully pissed. And Crowley found it adorable.

He had planned to apologize, he really did! He not only thoroughly enjoyed the company of his Guide, but it seemed that Aziraphale—unlike most of the dead-eyed stares within the room—actually gave a shit. About peace—about him! And that wasn’t something Crowley was about to let go. He decided it would be best to let the Angel simmer down a little and then confront him when most of the heat had dissipated with some fine wine and dancing—

But alas. That flustered face was too sweet a temptation to ignore. So after making his proper appearance to the Archangels (bow, proclaim your title, Pleased to make your acquaintance, I look forward to working together in the name of peace between our two kingdoms, yaddayaddayadda) and there he goes back again to the red-faced, scowling little Bird.

And had Aziraphale not been blustering with ill-contained frustration at him, he might have even noticed the eyes on them as Crowley approached. The Prince gave a sweeping bow—“To a Principality?” someone murmured among the masses— and took Aziraphale’s hand with all the blithe charm he could muster. “Pleased to formally make your acquaintance.”

All fallen on deaf ears and eyes blinded by rage. “YOU!” Aziraphale hissed out.

If it wouldn’t make tensions between them even worse, Crowley would have thrown his head back in a laugh. Instead, he settled for pleased-as-punch smile that the Angel, had he inhaled more liquid courage into his system, might have put description to reality. “Let’s walk and talk, shall we?”

And so, the gallant prince goes, sweeping his Guide off his feet into a dance as the celebration began and a swell of music drifted through the air.

But alas, Aziraphale doesn’t even seem to realize that he’s dancing with the Prince right now—he was merely content to hissing in his ear. “J!”

“Or dance, as it stands, err, sways,” Crowley corrected as he took the lead. “And like I said, you can call me Crowley, Angel.” Forward. “And see? I told you everything would be all right!” Side.

Closed. “I SPENT HOURS LOOKING FOR YOU! And—you were the Prince all along?!”

A pull, back and forth. “Guilty,” Crowley replied, though his tone implied he was anything but. The Angel was pouting again. “Oh don’t look so cross at me. We had a good time, right?”

Back. Aziraphale sputtered. “I SAW MY LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED YOU!” Side.

Closed. Crowley huffed, clearly and infuriatingly amused. “Did that include the time you met a mysterious, handsome fellow who, out of the goodness of his heart, decided to aid you in looking for your charge today?”

Back. “No,” He seethed tartly. “It included the time I met an irritation of a Royal who decided to play me for a sucker.”

Forward. “Tsk, don’t think of it like that. Think of it as—getting to know each other,” Crowley offered. Aziraphale eyed him darkly. Side. “Without the pomp and regality of it all,” he continued. “After all, I certainly enjoyed my time with you.” Closed.

Back. “Hmph.” But Crowley could already see the steam running out. The tense and terse replies relaxed to a tranquil banter. “Well—It appears that I’ll need to keep closer eye on you. In case you decide to cause anyone else grief.” There was still a glower in those stormy eyes, but there was also a hint of a resenting smile on those wine-pinked lips.

Forward. Crowley gave him a wicked grin. “Oh, Angel. You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll be sure to save all my mischief just for you—”

Side. “You—!”

Closed. “—if it means we get to have more days like today.”

And he’ll be sure to make it up to him later.  It wouldn’t do not to be in good graces with his Guide after all—it certainly would make his stay far less fun. And from their outing that day, it became very apparent that his Guide has a penchant for good food and wine…

The first song ended with a bustle of cheer from the crowd and Aziraphale froze, the realization hitting him square in the face that he just spent the first dance with the Prince. It sent Aziraphale reeling, thoughts coming to a halt between the immovable object of two choices keeping him frozen in place: to crawl away from the crowd and into his bed for a solid week or to walk away with some semblance of dignity far, far away from the Prince.

But alas; it appeared that Crowley just so happened to be an unstoppable force to pull him away from his (safer) two options. “You’re not bad!” Crowley laughed, taking his hand again as the music started up and before any of the Birds could swoop down and interrupt their fun.

He gave a fanciful twirl to the startled Angel, holding him tight to make sure the other didn’t stumble in his steps. The song possessed a faster tempo this time; he hoped the Angel could keep up.

Given enough time and patience to allow the Angel to concede that This is my life now, he, in fact, could.

--------------------------------------------

Meet-cute? Check.

A prince in disguise? Check.

Aziraphale dancing something other than the gavotte—wait, what? Also check.

More to come, I think.

Thank you for reading!

[sufferthesea]

Writing Commissions: OPEN

Hey friends! I’m officially opening my writing commissions and have a proper commission sheet for it! For examples of my writing you can check out my stories on Tumblr (under “/tagged/akimi.writes”) or my AO3 (username: akimikono). 💖 Most info will be under the cut! 

Reblogs are appreciated!! Thank you!! xx 💖💖💖💖💖

*** PRICES *** 

I try to keep my prices fair to what others can afford and what I need for school, moving, etc. Prices will vary by request. All money is U.S. Dollars.

The GENERAL cost will look something like:

UPDATE: All HCs and fics under 2k words are now part of free requests!

$10 USD: 2,000-5,000 words

$20 USD: 5,001-10,000 words

$30 USD: 10,001-20,000 words

$40 USD: 20,001-30,000 words

$50 USD: 30,001-40,000 words

$60 USD: 40,001-50,000 words

$70+ USD: 50,001+ words

Prices over $70 can be negotiated depending on prompt, number of characters, etc.

You will NOT be charged extra if I accidentally go over the general word count that we agreed on for payment.

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You are welcome to share the stories/headcanons on other sites, but please give me proper credit (name and/or username)!

*** FANDOMS I WRITE FOR ***

RWBY

Naruto

Breaking Bad

Sons of Anarchy

Law & Order: SVU

The X-Files

Star Wars (first 6 films) 

Harry Potter

Lord of the Rings

Welcome to Night Vale

Gravity Falls

Hellboy

The Evil Within 

Alien(s) franchise

Tim Burton universe

Horror movies

Certain musicals

Tom Hiddleston characters

Ben Mendelsohn characters

Raúl Esparza characters 

Feel free to ask if I write for anything/anyone else!

*** NO, I WILL NOT WRITE … ***

Total NSFW / Graphic sex scenes

No bashing canon characters, canon ships, or fanon ships

Incest/Paedo ships

Underage ships, unless it’s a historical AU and it’s necessary to the plot

Mpreg

Ableist/Racist/Sexist/etc in a positive light 

Pro-Abuse or Pro-Sexual Assault (any abuse or rape fics will be about recovery only) 

*** YES, I WILL WRITE … ***

Canon x Canon, Canon x OC, and Canon x Reader.

Non-ship fics are also welcome!

Character x Android, Character x Humanoid Monster 

OCs can be Android, Mythological creatures, Humanoid monsters, etc.

Age gap

AUs welcome!! Fantasy, horror, modern, etc. I love AUs!

Ships! Crack ships! Rare pairs! OTPs!

Adult student x Teacher okay! 

I am comfortable writing recovery fics, disability fics, mental illness fics, etc.

Gore, violence, blood, death, horror, etc. 

Pretty much all het ships are okay (sans incest or paedo) 

*** I MIGHT WRITE … ***

Real people fics (please ask first, though; I may decline depending on the prompt/celebrity, since some celebs have asked that people do NOT write about them) 

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[thesoundofnat]

Sentences Sit In My Mouth

Tony/Steve

Summary: Tony has a habit of flirting with people. Unless he likes them, of course. If he likes them he can’t even hold proper conversations without making a fool out of himself. Just ask Steve.

A/N: I made a text post and had to instantly turn it into a fic. Enjoy!

[Read it on AO3]

Words: 3 387

Tony didn’t do it on purpose, and it was only once he’d been called out on it by Nat - who asked him to stop or she’d be forced to disown him - that he became aware of it.

“I flirt with people?”

“Relentlessly and, I must admit, effortlessly.”

“Huh.”

She’d tilted her head. “You really didn’t know you were doing it?”

“I guess it’s like some sort of second nature at this point.” But it made sense. All his life he’d been taught that charming people was the best way to get them to trust you, and somewhere along the way he must’ve upped the charm slightly too much and was now a walking flirt. He reckoned it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if Nat found it uncomfortable enough to acknowledge it he was sure more of his teammates wished he would stop.

But stopping proved to be harder than anticipated.

“You’re doing it again,” Natasha said one day, her voice laced with amusement when he winced.

“I don’t mean to.”

“I know, but you’re gonna have to try harder or I will be forced to use drastic measures.”

He didn’t even want to know what those were. “Have some patience, will you?”

“I’ve had patience for years, Stark. It’s running thin.”

So maybe Tony avoided Nat for the rest of the week just in case, but could anyone blame him? He figured he’d be safer to practice his communication skills with people who wouldn’t kill him, even though they probably could.

Thor visibly enjoyed their interactions, though it might’ve been because he enjoyed the friendly familiarity. Bruce could be both nervous and relaxed, depending on what day Tony caught him and what they were doing. Clint was unamused. And Steve? Well.

Tony was most definitely not flirting with him. Not for a lack of trying, but it turned out that Tony Stark was unable to form coherent sentences around that man. Because of course he was.

To be fair, it was mostly when they were having conversations that weren’t about anything work related, and for months it hadn’t been a common thing. Recently, however, what with them becoming closer and almost calling the other a friend, Tony realized that his little problem was becoming more and more obvious. That was a problem all in itself.

“Hand me that, will you?”

Bruce crossed the short distance between one lab table to the other to give Tony a wrench, and Tony shot him a smile in return, eyelashes fluttering. Bruce was used to this, but still turned away way too quickly for Tony to not think it had an effect on him.

“Wait, shit, I did it again.”

Bruce breathed out a laugh. “It’s all right, Tony. I understand that it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Hey, I’d totally date you.”

“But I wouldn’t date you.”

“Rude.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry, but Tony was too wrapped up in his current project to pretend to be hurt.

He waved a hand in Bruce’s direction. “Maybe it’s for the best. Imagine if we had to work in the lab or fight a villain while we were fighting ourselves.”

Bruce snorted. “I don’t think that would be a sufficient reason to not pursue something. If we were both willing, that is.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness for silly reasons. I guess.”

Tony turned toward him, eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to give me love advice?”

“I’m cringing as much as you are.”

Tony knew he would regret asking, but he did it anyway. “Any particular reason for this sudden interest in my potential love life?”

Bruce was uncomfortable, but his smile still made Tony feel exposed. “No reason.”

“Stop lying.”

“You’re not gonna like my reply.”

“Try me.”

Bruce grabbed a rag and fiddled with it. “Because of Steve.”

Tony blinked. “Steve.”

“Yes.”

And the problem was growing.

“What about Steve?”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m not stupid, right?”

“I never said you were. I of all people know that.”

“So you must be aware that certain things are… quite apparent.”

“Oh god.” Tony found no point in denying it. “Are they apparent enough for him to-”

“I don’t know. He’s harder to read for me since I’ve practically never been in a room alone with him.”

Tony exhaled slowly. “That makes sense.” He turned back to his desk. “Should we go back to work?”

“Might as well.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room for the brief moment it took them to become absorbed in their work, and that was that.

***

Tony was now ten times more aware of the fact that people could see right through him, and it was all his own fault. Or possibly Steve’s. He had to blame someone for what was happening to him, okay?

“Well don’t you look stunning- wait, shit, sorry, don’t kill me.”

Natasha shot him a death glare, but decided to spare his life this time. “Couldn’t even last a week.”

“I’m trying, Romanoff.”

“Try harder.”

“Try what?” Tony hadn’t even heard Steve enter the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Tony replied quickly just as Nat said, “To stop flirting with everything with a pulse.”

Steve frowned. “Tony flirts?”

“You have no idea.”

“I’ve never noticed. Or, well, at least not when he speaks to me.”

“I do it automatically,” Tony explained, already feeling like a fool. “It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t wanna date Nat. No offense.”

“None taken. But who do you want to date then? Since apparently none of the people you actually flirt with interest you.” She was doing this on purpose.

Tony set his jaw. “None of your business, Romanoff.”

“Hey, we’re practically on second base at this point, if your flirting is any indication. Let’s not get unfamiliar now.”

Steve was visibly interested, but didn’t make a move to push Tony like Nat was. Tony appreciated it more than he probably knew.

Tony glanced at his clock. “And this is my cue to leave.”

Nat was smirking. “Don’t get shy on me now.”

“Goodbye, Natasha.”

He hadn’t expected Steve to follow him out into the hallway and into the lounge area.

“Weren’t you gonna get breakfast or something?”

“I’m more concerned about you right now,” Steve admitted. “You okay? You ran off so suddenly.”

Tony ran a hand over his face. “Nat was- how do I say this without sounding lame?”

“Embarrassing you?”

“Something like that. My fight or flight senses kick in when I’m put on the spot like that.” He wasn’t sure why he was being so honest with him.

Steve’s smile was gentle. “You make it sound like there actually is someone you want to date.”

Tony refused to give Steve’s statement a proper reply. “She thinks I’ve been single for too long. It’s been years since Pepper and I broke up, after all. What she doesn’t realize is how many years I was without a partner before Pepper came into the picture.”

“Maybe she just wants to make sure you’re not lonely.”

Tony shook his head. “It’s funny, because Bruce tried to give me love advice last night. Why they all suddenly care is beyond me.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Bruce tried to give you love advice?”

“I’m as shocked as you are.”

“Okay, now I really feel as if I’ve missed something crucial.”

“You haven’t missed a thing, Steve, don’t worry. I think they’re just using my constant flirting as a reason to butt in.”

“That I haven’t noticed you flirting should be worrying.”

The fact that Tony had been able to have a normal conversation with him up until this point was a miracle, so Tony shouldn’t have been so surprised over how his next sentence barely made sense.

“I’m not- I mean you aren’t- I mean-” He cut himself off with a frustrated sigh. “Oh my god, forget it.”

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitched upward. “What was that?”

“I have no idea.”

“It was kind of endearing.”

“You did not just call me that.”

Steve’s grin did things to Tony, especially when it was directed at him. “Sorry.”

This was where Tony would’ve shot him a charming smile and maybe tilt his head to show he was forgiven, but all he managed to do was grunt. Very attractive.

“I gotta get back to work.”

“Have you eaten at least?”

“I have. You should go do the same.” Subtle way of asking him to leave you alone, Tony.

Steve was nodding slightly too much. “Good idea. See you later?”

“Sure.” If Tony could manage to actually hold a proper conversation again.

“That was painful,” Clint said when Tony rounded the corner, his voice coming from above.

Tony gave the ceiling an unimpressed look. “Spying again, Barton?”

“That’s kind of my job.”

“If you want to spend all day chilling in the vents I’m not gonna stop you, but you should at least show some decency toward the person who is letting you stay here.”

“Is that a threat, Stark? And here I thought we had a connection.”

So Tony didn’t flirt when he was agitated. Good to know.

Bruce was nowhere to be found when Tony entered the lab, and he assumed the guy had allowed himself to sleep in for once. It suited him well that morning. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to ponder over things or try to get his mind off of them, and he figured having someone hovering above him asking what was wrong wouldn’t exactly help anyway.

He poured himself a cup of coffee (the day he’d installed a coffee machine down here had been life changing) and settled down at his desk. But it didn’t matter how busy his hands were. His mind was, without fail, stuck on Steve Rogers.

***

The worst moment of Tony’s life occurred at noon on a Saturday. He’d been sitting with the team, sans Steve, when Steve himself had entered the room and Tony had cut himself off mid-sentence and had been unable to continue. It didn’t matter how much the others kept urging him on. He stuttered out something lame and then promptly fell silent, but he didn’t miss the way they all, sans Steve, kept sending him amused looks.

He didn’t miss how they all, sans Steve, knew exactly what was going on with him.

***

Thor looked good that day. Tony couldn’t deny that. The God had been off for a few weeks, but had returned to bless them with his presence, and Tony had to admit he was glad for it.

“Enjoying the view?” Natasha asked him, and Tony shot her a grin.

“Of course.”

“When I asked you the same thing when you were ogling Steve the other day you blushed your head off.”

His grin faltered. “Because the serum gives Steve superhearing and he could probably hear you.”

“I bet you anything that so can Thor.”

When had he started getting into the habit of talking about boys with Natasha Romanoff?

Tony averted his eyes, refusing to look at either her or Thor. “Always spoiling my fun.”

“More like trying to get you to realize a couple of things.”

“I am very much aware of things.”

“So act like it.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

Why did Steve insist on appearing during the absolute worst times?

“Nothing,” Tony said, feeling guilty for the way his voice hardened. But he couldn't help it. It was either that or babble on like a fool, and he wasn’t about to give Nat that blackmail material.

“We were bonding over how good Thor looks today,” Natasha said casually. “Don’t you agree, Steve?”

Steve sat down on Tony’s other side on the couch, shooting Thor, who was fiddling with something across the quite big room, a glance. “I can see it, but I feel sort of weird objectifying him like that.”

“Always so pure,” Nat said, standing. “I’ll go talk to him, since neither of you probably will. He looks lonely.”

They watched her prance over to the God, who seemed happy for the company. Tony wasn't stupid. He knew she’d left so that Tony could be alone with Steve, and he had quite mixed feelings about it.

“Since when are you into Thor?” Steve had tried to sound nonchalant, but Tony could sense something in his voice that he couldn’t entirely identify.

He turned toward him as curiosity gripped him. “I’m not, but I can appreciate the view. Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Just wondering. I literally interrupted the conversation, after all.”

Tony hummed. For once Steve seemed to be the more nervous one, and Tony was enjoying it more than he should. “Jealous?”

Steve let out a laugh that didn’t sound real enough to be, well, real. “Of course. I want you guys swooning over me.”

“We probably have been once or twice, so I wouldn’t worry.” Why was he treading waters he knew were dangerous enough to drown him?

Steve tilted his head, but Tony didn’t miss the way his ears started coloring. “Is that so?”

Stupid irresistible super soldier. “Uh huh.”

“Interesting.”

“I mean, have you seen yourself?”

Steve laughed again, and this time it was genuine. “Don’t give me a big head.”

“I bet that would look good on you as well.”

Steve licked his lips. “There it is.”

“What?”

“The flirting you apparently keep doing.”

Great. Steve thought he was just playing when Tony had literally leapt off of a cliff in order to even attempt this.

Tony crossed his arms. “Better than blathering on like an idiot.”

“Didn’t I tell you I liked it?”

“If I remember correctly you used the word endearing.”

“Maybe I found that to be more accurate.”

Was Steve flirting back? Or was he just humoring him, since he apparently didn’t think this meant anything?

Tony would never find out, because in that moment the roof caved in and Clint came tumbling down onto them, but fortunately Steve took most of the impact, which he literally just brushed off a second later.

***

“You all right?”

Tony was standing on a ladder that was tall enough so that a gust of wind could knock him down, his arms aching from having kept them up for so long as he was repairing the roof. It was a simple but time-consuming job, and he didn’t see any reason to hire someone to fix it. He needed the distraction anyway.

He turned and saw Steve looking up at him. He hadn’t heard him come in.

“I’m fine? I mean, wait, why are you asking?”

Steve shrugged. “You look deep in thought, but I can see your frown all the way from here. I just wanted to make sure.”

Tony dragged his gaze back to the ceiling. “I’m just concentrating.”

“Right.”

“I’ll, uh, be down in a sec,” he said. He could use the break anyway.

It was fortunate that Steve was standing so close, because as Tony climbed down he managed to slip on the fifth to last step and felt himself falling. He’d had worse, but it was still terrifying enough to draw out a yell. Steve caught him easily, but when Tony looked up at him he looked as shocked as Tony felt.

“Easy,” he breathed out, and Tony could only manage a shaky laugh.

“My knight in shining armor,” Tony said as Steve helped him to his feet.

“It was my fault.”

“How exactly was that your fault?”

“I distracted you.”

That was true. Apparently his mouth wasn’t the only part of him that didn’t know what to do with itself when Steve was around, but he would be damned to let Steve know that.

“I just got impatient on the last steps,” he explained. “Eager to be on solid ground.”

“That’s a first.”

“It’s different without the suit. Nat wouldn’t justify me using it to fix the ceiling.”

“I still think Clint should’ve been the one to fix it.”

“And ruin the rest of the Tower? No way.”

“You give him too much credit.”

“Hm?”

“He’d never be able to ruin a whole Tower.”

Tony grinned. “Better safe than sorry.”

Steve smiled back, brightly and hugely and so very beautifully.

Tony swallowed. “I should-”

“Go back to work?”

“I’m that predictable, huh?”

“I would almost suspect you’re using it as an excuse to get away from me if I didn’t know what a workaholic you actually are.”

Tony shifted his weight to his other foot. “I would never want to get away from you.”

“That’s good to know.”

If Tony wasn’t Tony, and if Steve wasn’t Steve, he might’ve leant over and kissed him, and maybe Steve would’ve kissed him back. But he didn’t do that, so he had no way of knowing. Instead, he wiped his forehead on the back of his hand and looked up at his half-finished work. He suddenly felt more tired than he could explain.

“You think this place will fall apart if I finish that later?”

“Is Tony Stark thinking of taking a break?”

“Hah. Better start believing in miracles.”

“I’ve always believed in them.” Steve licked his lips, and Tony had a feeling he was biding his time. “And ever since meeting you? I believe in them more than ever.”

Even though he wasn’t sure if Steve was merely speaking about his intellect or ability to survive the cave or what, Tony felt his face heat up, and he was one hundred percent certain it was visible from outer space.

“You- wait, w-what?”

Steve’s smile was back, although it was laced with nerves. “You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Stuttering out incoherent sentences. Being endearing.” He’d added the last part like an afterthought.

Tony crossed his arms. “You think I’m endearing?”

He was enjoying Steve’s faint blush more than he probably should. “Yes.”

“And you think I’m a miracle?”

“If you saw yourself the way I do, you’d think so too.”

So here they were, both of them red-faced and nervous and Tony attempting to form words without sounding like a fool while taking in Steve’s words. Steve’s confession. He could barely believe he’d heard him correctly.

“I like you,” Tony blurted out. “Might as well get it out there.”

Steve inhaled sharply, and Tony managed to plan a whole escape route before he said, “I like you, too.”

“You do?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say this entire time.”

“I didn’t dare to believe.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize. I’m the one who keeps running away instead of facing my feelings.”

Steve’s mouth quirked. “So you have been using work as an excuse to get away from me?”

“Mostly to avoid acting like a fool, though I guess I haven’t been too successful.”

“I like it when you act that way. It makes me feel like I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what he’s doing.” He took a step closer, and Tony’s heart almost stopped completely. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He couldn’t even cringe at how breathless he’d sounded.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes. Please.” Please, please, please.

Steve smiled and did.

***

“Now I know why you haven’t been flirting with me.”

Tony glanced up at Steve from where he was perched in his arms. “Oh yeah?”

Steve’s grin melted into a smirk. “You’re absolutely hopeless at romance.”

“I got you in bed, didn’t I?”

“Not the point.”

Tony hummed. “So what is the point?”

“You have no idea how to act around someone you’re actually interested in, and it’s-”

“If you say endearing one more time I’m gonna tickle you.”

Steve barked out a laugh. “Adorable?”

“Not better, but I digress.” He shifted a bit so that he could see Steve more clearly. “How long have you been trying to get your point across?”

“Too long.”

“You’re no better at romance, then.”

“Never said I was.”

Tony reached out to run his fingers through his hair. “This is too good to be real.”

“It’s very real, though I hope this doesn’t mean you’ll stop getting flustered enough to make zero sense.”

“If you’d seen yourself you would know the answer to that.”

“Which is?”

“No. I probably won’t stop.”

“Good.”

“You’re kinda cruel.”

Steve leaned in and Tony met him halfway and forgot what they were talking about immediately.

[ocean-tumbled-pebbles]

What if Happy Internet Cafe was a Cosplay Internet Cafe?

Fanfic slightly edited from my submission for the June fanfic contest on the discord server! I now have a FFN account and AO3 pending lol. Feedback and comments welcome~

Prompt: Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.

Summary: In which Happy is a cosplay/internet cafe, Ye Xiu is a pro player magnet, and Chen Guo is a shrewd businesswoman

Tags: All叶, allye, cosplay, crossdressing, crackfic, tw minor sexual harassment, help i dont know how chinese money works, timeline is slightly off, let’s play spot the author’s favorite anime characters

(1)

Ye Xiu leant back languidly in his chair, his arms stretching out and coming to rest behind his head. “I feel that I match all of the qualifications, and work and pay aren’t a problem. So how about it?”

Chen Guo eyed him up and down. “Stand up.”

Ye Xiu took the time to stretch out his legs before lazily getting to his feet. Chen Guo circled him like a vulture coming upon a juicy piece of meat, muttering comments to herself.

“Hmm, he’s a little bit tall, but has pretty delicate features.” She crouched down to inspect his legs. “Long legs, not too much muscle....” She circled over to look at his back side. “Hmmm...”

Suddenly Ye Xiu felt a Smack! across his buttocks.

“Um...!” Ye Xiu yelped and rubbed his abused backside.

Chen Guo covered her mouth and snickered. “Oh, you’ll do.”

“Haha..?”

“So which shift do you want?” she asked.

“Night shift is fine!” Ye Xiu figured that he’d avoid the crowds and make some extra money. He didn’t mind switching his sleep schedule and he had always been pretty good at pulling all-nighters, thinking back to his time playing Glory all night long with Su Muqiu.

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh?” Were all the night shift posts taken?

“It’d be a waste to have a good looking guy like you take the night shift! If you want a less busy time you can take either the morning or the evening shift! Pretty boys like you need their beauty sleep!” Chen Guo explained.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “Uhh... Okay.... I guess I’ll take the evening shift then.”

Chen Guo clapped her hands together and gestured for him to follow her. “Great! You’ll work from 4 until 10. You get a break at 7 to eat. Most customers only come to use the computers, but if they need any help or want to order food they’ll ring the service bell. We offer special service if they order from us, which is that they can request you to do something, within reason. This usually means saying a line or doing a pose, so do your best to please the customer, alright?”

“Hmm?” Ye Xiu blinked. Wait. What was that last sentence?

“We’ll start you off easy, but we’ll want to take advantage of your good genes later. We’ll let you have a trial period tonight, but you can start officially as soon as tomorrow.” She started  rummaging through a closet in the back room. She finally pulled out some folded clothing in a box that Ye Xiu assumed was the uniform. “You’re about the same height as xiao Li, so this should fit you. I’ll show you the employee locker rooms!”

In front of the locker rooms, Chen Guo shoved the clothes she was holding into his arms.

“Try it on!”

Ye Xiu looked into the box. “Uh, boss, this... is your uniform?”

“You’re chickening out now?” She smacked his back. “You signed up for this, remember? How can we be Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe, the only cosplay internet cafe in all of China, without the cosplay?!”

Ye Xiu almost choked. “Cosplay?”

Chen Guo face palmed. “Have you been paying attention to your surroundings at all? Or at least been listening to me explaining your work?”

Ye Xiu looked around. At a second glance, it turned out that all the staff were wearing costumes of some sort. He had been so focused on getting out of the cold he really hadn’t noticed it!

He’d probably give a bad impression if he admitted he hadn’t been listening to his new boss though, so he coughed and said, “I’ll go change now.”

If he came out with a slight flush in his cheeks, it was a small matter. Well, maybe not, since Chen Guo had squealed and promptly whipped out her camera and begun snapping pictures of him to post on her Weibo. She gave him a big grin and a thumbs up.

“We’ll give you proper training with wigs and make up later. Can’t wait to have you crossdress~!”

A look of horror passes over Ye Xiu’s face. Just what did he sign up for?

(2) Su Mucheng

Dancing Rain: Big bro, you doing alright?

Lord Grim: dw, I got a job!

Dancing Rain: lol who would hire you. Your only skill is gaming

Dancing Rain: you should go back to my place! I’ll provide for you, and you can be my housewife!

Lord Grim: ...

Lord Grim: that was mean.

Dancing Rain: where did you get a job?

Lord Grim: Happy Internet Cafe!

Dancing Rain: you mean that cosplay cafe across the street?

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: omg are you in cosplay rn???

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: im coming over

Lord Grim: dont.

Lord Grim: mucheng im warning you

Lord Grim: It’s an internet cafe. What if you get mobbed?

Dancing Rain: dw im good at disguises!

It turned out that Mucheng’s “disguise” consisted of a pair of glasses, a hat, and a face mask. Yup, real subtle Mucheng. Everyone was thinking that, but no one dared approach. Why would Su Mucheng even go to an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after all? When Chen Guo took her id card, she nearly started screaming, but was quieted by a wink and shushing finger sign. Through the power of fangirling and selfies, Mucheng was able to obtain the whole second floor to herself, as well as Ye Xiu as her personal server. He was currently dressed in a simple school blazer with a blood red wig. Mucheng was snapping pics of him left and right.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “You better not post these.”

“I know,” she said plainly. “These are for my personal enjoyment. Besides, I’m supposed to get a ‘special service’ with my ice cream. So keep still while I take more photos.”

Later Chen Guo dreamily asked him, “Hey, do you think Su Mucheng will come again? Should I build a private room for her? I should build a private room for her.”

Ye Xiu sweatdropped again. Hey, don’t ask me if you’ve already decided.

(3) Huang Shaotian

Tang Rou thought that Huang Shaotian was a creep when he showed up outside around 10pm and covered in scarves, so she went to go get Chen Guo.

“Old Ye!” He whisper yelled, tiptoeing through the door. “Where the hell are you?”

Ye Xiu poked him in the back and the blond puppy jumped five feet in the air. “I’m right here.”

“Shit! You’re Old Ye?!” Huang Shaotian spluttered disbelievingly. To be fair, Ye Xiu was crossdressing, but you’d think that Huang Shaotian would have noticed him.

The short flouncy skirt of the black and white school uniform dress along with the mismatching colorful socks showed off his mile long legs wonderfully, and the orange wig with green highlights had pigtails that framed his handsome face. He was taller than a real girl, with slightly sharper angles, but all in all, he looked really good crossdressing.

“How could you? After all these years of friendship, you’ve forgotten me so soon?” Ye Xiu said in mock sadness.

“Nononono! That’s not it at all! I haven’t forgotten you though maybe I should seeing as you’re an old man dressing up as a girl that is not that you’re some creep or anything but just that you’ve retired and such but I promise I haven’t forgotten you after all you’re probably my best friend after Captain and all of the Blue Rain players and - Hey! Why are you leaving?!”

Ye Xiu turned in the general direction of the word explosion and shrugged. “It’s the end of my shift. I’m going to change.” And he sauntered off toward the back room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Shaotian sneakily grabbed his phone to snag a picture. He grinned down at the photo evidence of the battle god crossdressing.

“There he is, that’s the creep!” Tang Rou had come back with Chen Guo in tow.

“F-shit! I’m not a creep! That Old Ye invited me!”

Chen Guo and Tang Rou looked at each other.  A stalker?

“I’m going to have to see your ID.”

Some selfies and monetary transactions later, Huang Shaotian and Ye Xiu were in the private room running through the plan on the boneyard record.

“Hey Old Ye, it says that if I order some food, I can get special service. I’m going to make you PK with me!”

“Not happening.” Ye Xiu refused plainly.

“Why not?! PKPKPK!”

“Because it’s not my shift.” Ye Xiu wasn’t obligated to do anything for anyone right now. He was also tired after a long day taking requests from customers and didn’t want to deal with Shaotian’s shit right now. The boss had also given him a strict bedtime of 1am at the latest and he wanted to get in all of his dungeon runs before then.

“...”

Ye Xiu suddenly felt a chill down his back. Shaotian being silent? Never a good thing.

The next day at 4 pm.

“OLD YE!” A blond fluffball came flying at Ye Xiu. Ye Xiu tumbled to the ground under the unexpected tackle.

“Oh god.”

“PKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPK!”

Six hours later...

“Boss, please kick him out.” Ye Xiu was disheveled and exhausted, pale and looking like he was about to collapse.

Chen Guo paused from counting the money Huang Shaotian had spent on reserving the private room and repeatedly ordering food with service for 6 hours. “....Hmm? What did you say?”

(3.5) All Star Weekend

“Ye Xiu! You’re really Ye Qiu?”

“...Yes.”

“Dammit! We should have charged Huang Shaotian more!”

“...”

(4) Ye Qiu

For the Lunar New Year, it turned out that Ye Qiu had found out he had retired from Excellent Era and was now working at Happy.

“Brother,” he tutted, “Come home for New Years. Do you even have a place to stay?”

“I’m going to work over time!” He just wanted to avoid going home over the holiday and play Glory all day.

“Fine, then I’m going to stay too.”

“Go home little brother. Unless... the boss has been wanting to do twin cosplays...”

“Happy New Year, I have to go attend to mother and little dot! Let me know when you’re coming back already! Bye!” In a flash, Ye Qiu was out the door.

Chen Guo came out of the back room holding a box of costumes. “Why did he leave? I had the cutest matching cosplays for you two!”

(5) Yu Wenzhou

“Captain Yu! What are you doing here?” Ye Xiu was so surprised to see Yu Wenzhou turn up one day that his half and half red and white wig almost fell off.

Yu Wenzhou was disguised in naught but a pair of dark sunglasses. Since Huang Shaotian had turned up the other time, more and more Blue Rain fans had been coming to Happy to see if they could catch a glimpse of their idol. Seeing the captain himself, of course some Yu Wenzhou fans crowded around to see if they could get an autograph. But as they approached, suddenly an ice cold aura appeared, and the fans decided it would probably be a good idea to back off.

“Hello Senior.” The blue-haired captain greeted amiably. “I came to see you in your new place of work.”

A slender hand came up to readjust his wig. “... I meant, how did you find me here?”

Yu Wenzhou smiled and merely handed him a thick wad of cash. “Let’s discuss this in the private room, shall we?”

So Ye Xiu led him up the stairs and Yu Wenzhou explained over coffee and biscuits. “Several weeks ago, Shaotian disappeared after the match with Excellent Era, and later claimed that he wanted to stay in Hangzhou for an extra day to visit family. He has no family in Hangzhou, so of course he must’ve been visiting someone other than family. He clearly lied about it, and as such it couldn’t have been anyone he would publically visit.”

He took another sip of his coffee. “The night he disappeared also happened to be the day the boneyard record was broken by Lord Grim and a swordsman Flowing Tree. Lord Grim is infamous in the tenth server with his technical skill, and he started in the tenth server around the time when you retired. Of course, I had a sneaking suspicion it was you, but Shaotian’s disappearance confirmed it. When he returned after his one day visit to ‘family’ he was in a surprisingly good mood and kept snickering at his phone. Naturally, I confisticated it and searched through the contents. Did you know he had this picture of you on it?”

He held up his phone and Ye Xiu saw that there was a picture of him crossdressing, shot from the back as he walked away to change clothes. It was slightly blurry, as it was dark, and Ye Xiu was surprised (but not that surprised) to know that Yu Wenzhou could recognize him even though the view was from the back and he had been in costume.

“That little brat!” Ye Xiu exclaimed. “Who would take advantage of such a good-looking guy like me, taking pictures of me on the sly?”

Yu Wenzhou put the picture away, ignoring the self-proclaimed ‘good-looking’ god. Ye Xiu noted that he didn’t delete the picture though. Wenzhou continued with his explanation. “When I saw this, I knew immediately that Shaotian had not gone to visit family but had rather gone to visit you at your workplace. A quick search of cosplay cafe and Hangzhou turned up this place. Did you know that this is the only cosplay internet cafe in China?”

“...Your deductive work is too scary Captain Yu.” Ye Xiu sighed. “So what did you hope to gain by coming here?”

Yu Wenzhou gave a little smile. “I was hoping to perhaps chat about some tactics and maybe play a match or two.”

Ye Xiu cracked his knuckles and began stretching out his arms in preparation. “It’ll be 100 yuan for each match, and you’ll need to buy food for any other requests.”

Yu Wenzhou tilted his head. “Hmm?”

“Boss’s rules.”

“Ah.”

(6) Zhang Xinjie and Han Wenqing

When Han Wenqing and Zhang Xinjie came to Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe one evening, they didn’t even bother disguising themselves despite being in the midst of Excellent Era territory, in fact, literally across the street from their so-called rivals.

A whisper chorus of boos echoed up from the computers. The quiet protest was quickly vanquished with the signature Han Wenqing GlareTM, resulting in the offenders groveling on the floor, offering their wallets as penitence.

All the commotion brought Chen Guo over. She reflexively wanted to jump back when he turned his gaze to her, but she held her ground and offered, “What can Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe do for you today, God Han, God Zhang?”

“Where’s Ye Qiu?”

Zhang Xinjie smoothed out the conversation. “We would like to rent out the private room and talk with Senior Ye if possible.”

“It’s 200 yuan per match and you need to order food for any other requests. The private room has a lock. Ye Xiu can let you in.”

Han Wenqing picked up a wallet off the floor, and dropped it on the counter, much to the dismay of one unfortunate booer.

“Yo Old Han.” Today Ye Xiu was dressed in a cute sailor themed idol costume with a long dark colored wig. He gave a mock salute. “Never thought I’d see the two of you here in a cosplay cafe in Excellent Era territory no less.”

“Never thought I’d see you here crossplaying at an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after having retired no less,” the older player spat back.

“Let’s go upstairs and fight in the arena instead of in the lobby, Captain, Senior.”

Ye Xiu laughed and led the two of them to the stairs. “You first.”

Zhang Xinjie, feeling that it was out of character for Ye Xiu to be polite asked, “Why don’t you go first, senior?”

“Gasp, Xiao Zhang! How perverted! You want to peek under my skirt as I go up the stairs, don’t you?”

Xinjie turned all shades of red and blurted, “That wasn’t it at all!”

Han Wenqing was not amused. “If we wanted a peek we would just lift it up. Now show me that unspecialized character of yours.” He began pushing Ye Xiu up the stairs.

“Ooh how brazen, Old Han.”

(7) Tiny Herb

Business at Happy was booming. Not only was Chen Guo obtaining more business from users hoping to see their favorite pro player, but she was able to charge the visiting pro players exorbitant amounts and they would gladly pay to play with Ye Xiu. Using the extra money, Chen Guo was able to upgrade the private room upstairs to include a full row of new computers and a comfy couch and coffee table.

The upgrades were a good investment. How else would the entire Tiny Herb pro team be able to fit comfortably into the room?

“Order whatever food you want. The club will pay for it. Don’t forget to think of your requests. You can ask him to do anything reasonable, so make sure you learn from this opportunity.”

“Yes Captain!”

Ye Xiu sighed. Today he was wearing a black and white sailor style girl’s school uniform, along with a short brown wig and white cap. He also had a staff and a stuffed animal to complete the cosplay, but they were too annoying to carry around while playing. “I left Excellent Era so that I didn’t have to be a training partner...” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that senior?” Wang Jiexi blinked his uneven eyes.

“Nothing, nothing. Just a reminder that it’s 300 yuan per person per match and that I require a break between matches. Oh, I know. While you’re waiting for me, you can fight Xiao Tang. I’m coaching her!” He gave a big thumbs up.

The whole ordeal was like one huge party with food and fun and Glory. Tang Rou despite getting utterly smashed bravely continued to fight, earning the respect of Tiny Herb. Ye Xiu then proceeded to crush them all in return. It was a bit depressing to think that all of them combined had still been trounced by a single guy dressed like an elementary school girl.

“Thank you Senior Ye!” exclaimed one Gao Yingjie on the way out.

“Yes. Thank you for your guidance Senior Ye. I hope to be like you someday.” echoed Qiao Yifan.

Ye Xiu patted both on the head. It was nice to see rookies with such enthusiasm. “You two have a lot to learn, but you also have a lot of potential. Keep working hard. And Yifan, why don’t you think about what I said?”

‘Why don’t you try out a Ghostblade! It would suit you!’ Yifan kept thinking of this phrase over and over again walking out of the internet cafe, such that he almost bumped into Chen Guo.

“Woah! Careful there.” She steadied him on his feet. “You know, you’re pretty cute.” Chen Guo handed Yifan a business card. “If you ever need a job or even a side job, you should contact me! I have some cute cosplays that would be perfect for you!”

Yifan almost choked. When he said he wanted to be like Senior Ye, he didn’t mean it that way!

(8) Jiang Botao

“So what brings you here by yourself?”

“Senior Ye! Please grant me a request!” Jiang Botao bowed deeply at a 90 degree angle.

“No need to be so formal,” Ye Xiu laughed. “As long as you buy something from here, I’ll be willing to hear you out.”

Jiang Botao ordered a What a Big One ice cream cone. “Sooo...” he started nervously, “ummm.... Please... Allow me to record a message from you to captain!”

“Oh? To Xiao Zhou? What would you like me to say?”

“Please say, ‘Zhou Zekai, Jiayou!’ a-and then umm, please blow a kiss!”

“Hoho? Well, alright get your camera ready!”

Jiang Botao aimed the camera at him portrait-wise, making sure to capture the full picture of Ye Xiu in a purple accented swimsuit and blue and white jacket covering his shirtless torso. He didn’t need a wig this time, but settled for some styling with gel to achieve the character’s likeness.

Ye Xiu grinned, not caring that it was out of character for the cosplay. “Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” He winked saucily and blew a kiss.

Jiang Botao was so grateful he kept thanking Ye Xiu over and over again and insisted on giving him extra cash. “For the wink! Please keep it for the wink!”

Later...

“Captain! Please make an effort to connect more with the rookies! They’re all intimidated by your silence!”

“...”

“If you coordinate well with them and get into the playoffs I’ll give you this!” Jiang Botao pressed a button on his phone, playing the video.

“Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” *Wink* *kiss*

Zhou Zekai stared at the little screen. “Want... Senior...”

“If you want it, please make an effort to get along!”

Zhou Zekai nodded emphatically.

“If we do well this season, we can go visit him later!”

Zhou Zekai was already walking out the door.

(9) Happy

“God Ye! Is it true that you initially worked as a staff member for Happy Internet Cafe?” Cameras flashed during the press conference following the Challenger League.

Chen Guo butted in, “It’s Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe. Get your facts right!”

“God Ye! Is it true that you engaged in crossplay?”

“It’s not that bad when you get used to it! Besides, my boss says I should show off my ‘legs for days.’”

“God Ye! Is it true that the other members of Happy cosplay as well?”

Chen Guo again interrupted. “At this time I would like to announce the limited edition release of our new cosplay photobook. It includes both group and individual cosplay photos of all of Team Happy. This limited edition will also include a section of Captain Ye’s best cosplays and a new cosplay as One Autumn Leaf. The photobooks will be on sale starting at midnight tonight and will cost 800 yuan. Proceeds will go to the development of Team Happy and also Ye Xiu’s costume repertoire. Thank you for your patronage.”

All the reporters gossipped among themselves. The males complained it was way too expensive, more than double the price of other costume books, but were quite sorely tempted by the One Autumn Leaf photo. The females wanted to see those legs for days.

The clubs were some of the first to buy the books when they came on sale. When questioned why they wanted to help the enemy the teams merely said, for research. Yeah, for research.

And so, Team Happy became the most influential team in the alliance for the sole reason of Ye Xiu fangirling.

//End notes:  *sweating* Yeah this totally fits the prompt. “Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.” Hahaha *runs away*//

[mackinmacki]

Rock Me Ama-Dia-Us

Rating: K+

Word Count: 6235

Pairings: DiaMari, KanaRuby (mentioned)

Summary: Dia finds herself annoyingly fascinated by the punkish Mari. There might be something mutual going on there, though. Kanan is no help whatsoever.

Notes: Happy birthday, @diayase​! I hope you like this, and that it also posts on time :))

Links: (FFN) | (AO3)

It was hard not to notice Ohara Mari on campus. She stood out like a sore thumb with her bright blonde hair and the pentagram hanging around her neck. No one else looked so apologetically edgy, which was Dia's best guess as to why she was so curious about her. It certainly couldn't have been because she was attracted to her, because there was no way in Hell that was the case. She wasn't interested in the weird loop in her hair, or the studs in her nose. The band name - or at least what she assumed was a band name - on her t-shirt was absolutely illegible. She just kept seeing her on campus, that's all. Why would she be interested in someone like that?

"Maybe you're attracted to bad girls?" Like usual, Kanan was no help at all. Dia frowned and crossed her arms, giving Kanan the stare. It was the classic Kurosawa look that let someone know that they had messed up. Kanan had seen it enough times that it didn't even phase her anymore. Sure, she'd been scared of Dia when they were kids - something she was loathe to admit - but they were at university now. She was over Dia's stubbornness. "Don't look at me like that. You have to admit that it's at least a possibility."

"I will admit nothing." It was a thought Dia refused to entertain. She was a good girl. A prim and proper heir to the Kurosawa estate. She wouldn't dare sully her family name by even considering that she wanted to get closer to the strange girl with a skull tattoo on her arm. That was a cliche rebel girl thing to do anyway. If she was going to act like that, she could at least be more original. "You know me, Kanan. I'm not that type of person."

"Well, I know you had a crush on the Hex Girls when we were kids. So maybe that should've tipped you off." Dia felt her face heat up as she glared at Kanan with all her might. Kanan was still unmoved. "Oh yeah, and you were really into that one blonde idol from Tokyo, right? Maybe you're into blondes too. They do say blondes have more fun."

"That is not the kind of fun I'm interested in having!" Why couldn't Kanan understand that she was a hundred percent wrong? Just because she stared at someone didn't mean she liked them. Her stares were of a disgusted nature. She could never see herself being with someone like that. That Mari... She probably spent her free time drinking copious amounts of alcohol and smoking marijuana. Didn't she realize how quickly someone could die from just one marijuana needle? "Why are you even talking about her so much, Kanan?"

"Me? You're the one who was staring at her like she was a piece of idol merchandise." Once again, Kanan had to defend herself from Dia's spurious accusations. This wouldn't be happening if she wasn't so damn obvious about who she was ogling. "Look, you don't have to get yourself in a twist over this. It's not a big deal. Maybe you just like big breasts."

"Wh-What?!" This was even more embarrassing to hear than her having been attracted to cartoon characters at one point, and never ever again she swears. Did Kanan have to be so casual about that?

"You know, breasts." Kanan pointed at her own ample chest. "Boobs, melons, bazongas-"

"I know what breasts are, Kanan!" She hid her rapidly reddening face in her hands. "And please don't call them any of those other things."

"What about honkers?"

"No! Stop talking about breasts!"

"Aww, but I just got here!" The unfamiliar voice made Dia shriek and fall from her seat, landing ungracefully on the ground below. Groaning, she sat back up and looked up into the grinning face of Mari. She now regretted going to this university. "Please, start from the beginning. I'm all ears."

"Well, I was saying that Dia-"

"KANAN, SHUT UP!" A few students glanced over at the shouting, further embarrassing Dia. If she had the chance to look in the mirror, she was sure that she was red to the tips of her ears and down her neck. This was not supposed to be happening. How had their conversation become so public that Mari of all people had sidled up to join in? She wanted to stand up tall and tell Mari to mind her own ruffian business, but for some reason she found herself getting lost in Mari's eyes. This was not happening. She was not falling for someone like Mari. "It's not polite to eavesdrop, you know."

"I know." Smiling, Mari sat down where Dia had been sitting just moments before. So not only did she have no compunction about eavesdropping, she was totally okay with taking others' seats as well. She truly was a ne'er-do-well. "It's just as impolite as staring at someone, right?" Dia couldn't argue with that, but she wasn't going to admit that Mari was directly referencing her. So she folded her arms and looked away. "Are you going to stay down there, cutie, or are you going to come sit on my lap?"

"I beg your pardon?!" Dia shot up like a rocket, giving Mari the famous - or was it infamous? - Kurosawa glare. "I am not sitting on your lap!"

"What about mine?" Kanan chimed in.

"No! Nobody's lap is getting sat on!" She walked around both of them and sat next to Kanan, crossing one leg over the other and glaring at both of them.

"Then why even wake up in the morning?" Mari giggled, already enjoying teasing Dia. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Unless you change your mind." Dia kept glaring at her. "Okay, maybe not. I'm Mari, by the way!" She flashed them both a big smile, her teeth shining white. Kanan smiled back, while Dia just scowled.

"We know. Your reputation proceeds you. I'm Kanan, and the ray of sunshine here is Dia." Her smile turned into a playful smirk as she placed a hand on Dia's shoulder. "She's not always like this. You just caught her at a bad time."

"Was that bad time talking about breasts?"

"Basically, yeah."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" This was completely unacceptable. How did this even happen? If only she hadn't accidentally glanced at Mari for just a moment, or if Kanan hadn't noticed. Then she wouldn't be the butt of their jokes right now. It was embarrassing, and she didn't like it one bit. "And you're wrong on all counts. I am in a fine mood, thank you very much."

"Aww, you're just being grumpy." Kanan giggled at Dia's absolutely offended expression, playfully rubbing her shoulder. "She just needs a hug and she'll be good as new."

"Oh?" Mari stood up from her seat and approached Dia, who tried to scoot back with suddenly-wide eyes.

"No, that's not true at all. I do not need a hug. I'm not grumpy, dammit!" She couldn't really back up without falling off her seat again, leaving her no escape as Mari descended upon her. Mari nearly tackled her off of her seat anyway, wrapping her up in a tight grip with a smile that was strangely cat-like in nature. "Mari!"

"Ooh, you're warm!" Mari smiled and kept hugging Dia, who was seemingly powerless to resist. She didn't like the implication that came with her having not shoved Mari off of her and flat on her back. Mari was pretty warm too, and her hug made Dia feel strange. She could smell a hint of lemon in her hair, which looked surprisingly well taken care of from up close. Even being this close, though, she couldn't read what was on her shirt. "You sure like staring at my breasts, don't you?"

"I was not!" She was sure that her face would be permanently red with the way things were going. "I was just trying to look at the strange symbol on your shirt. It's completely illegible."

"Oh!" Excitement fluttered in her eyes as Mari jumped back and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it forward to proudly it off. "It's Cattle Decapitation!" Both Dia and Kanan stared at her.

"Excuse me?" "Say what?"

"Cattle Decapitation!" Mari said it again, letting her shirt flutter down. "They're from America! I'll play you some of their music!" Before either of them could protest, Mari sat herself down on both of their laps, straddling their legs as she pulled out her phone. "Here we go!" She pushed her finger against her phone, bringing up an album track list. Dia looked down at the phone, noting that all the titles were in English. The one that Mari hit said 'Your Disposal', and then some of the foulest-sounding noise came out of her speakers, sending both Dia and Kanan reeling back.

It sounded like total distortion, combined with someone kicking a drum repeatedly. The vocals - or what Dia could only assume were vocals - may have been in English, but there was no way to tell. She wanted to cover her ears, but she also didn't want to seem rude. Looking over at Kanan, she could tell that she felt the same way. On the other hand, Mari was having a blast, smiling from ear to ear and tapping her feet on the ground with rapid-fire movements.

When the song finally ended, she turned towards the two of them with wide, bright eyes, smiling all the while. "That was great, right? Oh, you're speechless!" Well, that wasn't wrong. "You should both come check out my band! We're gonna practice this evening in the music hall!" Dia wasn't surprised a ruffian like Mari would be in a band that played such horrendous sounds. She certainly didn't want to spend an evening listening to that headache-inducing noise, even if for some reason she felt a strange curiosity to watch Mari outside of normal school confines. Before she could say she had other plans, Kanan ended up answering for her.

"Ahh, I can't. I've got a lot of work to do today. But I know Dia is free, and she'd love to come watch your band." Mari had started to pout when Kanan declined, but lit up again when Dia agreed to go against her will. For her part, Dia glared at Kanan, who just smiled serenely. Why was she like this? Kanan was so going to get a stern talking to that night.

"Great!" She spoke in English, surprising Dia with another hug before jumping back on her feet and bounding away. "Music hall, room six, 18:30! See ya later, Dia!" Dia was left with no idea what to feel. Mari was so weird and uncouth, with a casual manner of speaking and no respect for personal boundaries. She was also very warm, though. Even though she didn't need any hugs and would never want that ever. She was not going to admit that she felt good being in Mari's arms.

"So you're going to text me if you bring her home, right? She seems like she'd be pretty loud."

"Kanan, they will find your body in the river, and they will never connect it to me. I will claim that you didn't come home tonight, and that I haven't seen you since this moment. Not even Ruby will be able to save you from your untimely demise."

"Can I at least shower before my untimely demise?"

"No."

It wouldn't have been a big deal if she didn't show up to Mari's band practice. She could just say she ended up having work that couldn't be put aside, or that she was feeling under the weather. For whatever reason, she didn't use these excuses. Instead, she found herself walking towards room six in the music hall, something she was sure she didn't want to do. So why was she doing it?

There was something about Mari that repulsed her, freaked her out, and drew her in all at the same time. She'd never spent any time around someone like Mari. Her life had always been being around older people who were very formal. It had made her become that kind of person, which wasn't so bad. Social anxiety had hit her like a ton of bricks during grade school, and Kanan had ended up being the only friend she'd really made. Everyone else seemed more like a classmate or a subordinate. It made things easier. If they were closer to her, she knew that she'd mess it up.

The fact that she was going to check out this band practice at all made her nervous. There was no reason to go to something like that unless she was friends with them, but there was no way she was friends with Mari. They'd barely ever spoken in the history of their dual existence, and none of their conversations could be deemed pleasant. Maybe she was having some sort of reality breakdown, since there was no healthy reason why she was doing this.

Outside of the door to room six, she hesitated, not committing herself to opening the door. It felt weird to just barge in there, even if she had been invited. She didn't want to go. She didn't want anything to do with Mari. That wasn't the kind of person she hung out with. Yet there she was, standing outside the door to where Mari was, feeling like she was intruding. Why was that even a concern? Mari was the one who had intruded into her personal space! Why was even thinking about Mari making her nervous?

She was overthinking this. All she needed to do was go inside, because she was invited, and watch Mari's band practice. Then she could go home and never think about Mari again. That was as good a plan as any. Feeling more confident now, Dia grabbed the door handle and flung the door open, stepping in and then nearly being knocked off her feet by a wall of sound. Maybe she should've brought earplugs.

The walls must've been soundproofed. That would explain why she didn't hear anything until she opened the door. Now she was being 'greeted' by noise that was five times as loud as what had been coming through those phone speakers, but it also wasn't as punishing. It seemed to have more of a noticeable rhythm, or at least Dia thought there was. At least it wasn't as bad as before.

There were three other members of the band besides Mari. A scrawny-looking girl with dark blue hair was holding a microphone in her hand, a girl with red hair was sitting at a large grand piano, and a girl with brownish-gray hair was behind a drum kit. They were all playing or singing, but Dia's attention was immediately captured by Mari. She had a guitar strapped around her, and her fingers were flying across the fret board as she played. It was amazing how she could keep her focus on playing all those chords. There was quite a difference between that and Dia's own musical background: the yamatogoto.

Dia's entrance quickly brought a stop to the music, as all four of them turned to look at her. This made her feel self-conscious all over again, but she forced herself to stand tall. She had every right to be there, and it would be for only one time. Still, she didn't know what to say to break the sudden silence. Luckily - or unluckily: she wasn't sure - Mari broke it for her.

"Dia! You made it!" Putting down her guitar, Mari rushed over and wrapped Dia up in a tight hug. What was more embarrassing than being hugged was the suggestive looks the vocalist and drummer were giving her. She made herself wriggle out of Mari's grasp, crossing her arms and glaring at Mari. "Ooh, scary. You should be the bouncer for our next show!"

"I am not doing that." Dia sighed and let her shoulders slump, softening her gaze slightly. "Well, I'm here. Are you going to keep practicing?"

"No no, not yet! I have to introduce you to the band!" Grabbing Dia's hand, Mari yanked her over to the other musicians, who were still staring at her. She felt way too awkward under their curious stares. "So on vocals we have Yoshiko-"

"Yohane!"

"Right right, Yohane. The three of us sing..." She pointed at herself, Yoshiko/Yohane, and the redhead. "... but she's our main singer. She's got quite the voice!" Cackling, Yohane struck a pose, her voice taking on a deep, huskier tone.

"The voice of a fallen angel such as myself can convert even the most pious into my army of little demons. Shall you be the next to join?" She stuck her hand out towards Dia, who frowned and took a step back. This Yohane was definitely a weird one.

"Uh, no thank you..." Mari then led her over to the piano, where the redhead suddenly looked away shyly. What was this? Dia was supposed to be the one who felt uncomfortable. This girl was taking her mood.

"And this is Riko! Our resident piano player and dog hater."

"I-I don't hate dogs!" She spouted out suddenly, facing the two of them with a blush. "I just... don't feel comfortable around them." She glanced at Dia specifically, able to hold eye contact long enough to give her a shy smile. "It's nice to meet you, Dia." Well, at least Riko seemed less crazy than Mari and Yoshiko. Dia smiled back at her and nodded.

"Likewise." Finally she was led around the drum kit, where the girl sitting there saluted at her.

"And I'm You! I drum for them so they don't have to use a drum machine."

"Isn't she a darling?" Mari giggled, then turned Dia around to face her. "And now, for the main event. The guitarist, lyricist, and creator of Guilty Kiss: me! Mari!" She stuck out her arms in dramatic fashion, making quiet, fake cheering sounds with her mouth. Behind them, Yohane rolled her eyes.

"And she says I'm the dramatic one..."

"So, are you ready to hear us play?" Mari was bouncing up and down with excitement, but there was still one concern Dia had.

"You don't happen to have any earplugs, do you? Not that I... don't want to hear you play, but it's very loud."

"Sure!" It was You who answered, reaching into the backpack at her feet and offering a pair of earplugs. "I always keep a spare in case I lose mine." Well that was convenient. Dia took the earplugs with a 'thank you', then let Mari lead her to a chair. She sat down and put in the earplugs, watching as Mari went back to pick up her guitar and sling it over her shoulders.

Mari was pretty attractive. Dia hadn't really noticed it before, or had pretended not to, but she was. Even the tattoos and piercings gave her a sort of 'rebel cool' look, something that Dia hadn't really seen before as being good looking. It just worked on Mari, though. She made these things look flawless, like she wasn't even trying. She could just stand there and rock out in a t-shirt and a skirt, which she was, and Dia would still think these things. Which she really needed to stop doing...

"Alright, count us off, You!"

"Aye aye! Three, two one!" She clacked her drumsticks together, then had them come down against the snare drum. Mari came in next with the guitar, and soon Dia was watching the entire band come together in a melding of metal music. It was somewhat different than the music Mari had shown her earlier: it had a kind of industrial sound to it. It was actually kind of good. Not really her style of music, but she didn't recoil from it instantly, so that was an improvement.

When they finished the song, Dia wasn't sure what to do. Was clapping appropriate? It was just a practice, after all, but they were certainly putting their all into it. She settled for saying something instead. "That was very nice. You all are quite skilled with your instruments."

"Aww, that's the most formal compliment I've ever gotten!" Mari laughed and looked back at the others. "Alright you three, let's play Strawberry Trapper now!" Dia didn't know how long they were going to practice, or how long she was supposed to stay before it was okay to get up and leave. It would certainly have to be between songs, since it'd be rude to leave without saying goodbye. There was a part of her that didn't want to leave, though. For some reason, she was fascinated with the music being played. Well, maybe not the music generally, but Mari specifically. Though she tried to just lean back and let the music flow over her, she found her eyes never leaving Mari for longer than a few seconds. It was as if Mari had cast some kind of spell on her, which made her unable to break away.

She ended up staying for the entire practice, time passing without her really realizing it. It was interesting the things she learned while just watching those four in their musical environment. For some reason, Yohane would always stare at the wall when she sang, though Dia supposed that was because she was pretending it was the audience. Dia was an audience, though. Why not look at her? She also noticed that Riko would keep sneaking glances at Yohane, which was surprising. Riko seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Why would she be looking like that at someone as weird as Yohane? Then again, what was she doing looking at Mari? Maybe none of them had their heads on straight.

"Good practice, everyone!" Mari grabbed her guitar case and put her guitar in it while the others started to pack it up. It seemed that the piano, drums, and microphone were all owned by the school, since nobody was trying to lug them out of the room. "We're gonna do great at the concert next week!" You and Yohane pumped their fists at that, followed by Riko with a more tentative fist. "That's the spirit, Riko!"

Dia stood up and walked over to them, addressing her words to the group as a whole, though maybe to Mari a bit more than the rest. "Well, that was very well played, you four. I hope you do well at your concert. It's gotten rather late, though, so I should be heading back to my dorm."

"Okay. Thank you for watching us practice!" Once again she gave Dia a big hug, though this time Dia didn't try to worm out of it. She was still very warm, and she gave the kind of hugs Dia suspected were good for when one was being drowned in stress. She even gave Mari a stiff hug in return, which seemed to surprise Mari by the way her body tensed. Then it loosened up again and she gave Dia a big smile. "You're gonna come to our concert, right?"

"Well, I..." Going seemed more appealing than it had when she'd first stepped into the music room, but barely. She probably had school work to do anyway. "I guess I could make time for it." Dammit, what was she saying?

"Yay!" Mari hugged her again, happiness evident all over her face. "It's next Saturday at 20:00 in the student center! Don't be late! I may even be able to get you backstage." She winked at Dia, who blushed and grumbled about needing to go. Waving to the others, she left the music room with a very conflicted mind. She really didn't know Mari, and she could be a hassle and a half. She had no idea what personal space was or how to dress properly. Why did she agree to go to the concert, then? Why did she have this desire to go somewhere and just be with her for awhile?

Wait, did that mean she wanted to go on a date with Mari?!

"If you say anything, I swear I will end your existence."

"Come on, Dia. Why do you always do this?" Kanan rolled her eyes as she laid out on the couch, taking up all the room because Dia was too busy burning a hole in their carpet with her pacing. "You have some preconceived notion about something, and you let it color your perception even after it's proven otherwise. Why can't you just ask her out on a date? It's obvious you want to."

"Kanan, you've been on thin ice ever since you started dating my sister. Do you really want to risk running across it?" She really, really hated it when Kanan was right. Ever since they were kids, it'd always seemed like Dia was right about everything, and Kanan just went along for the ride. Now that Kanan was the one speaking reason, Dia really didn't like this switcheroo.

"You know why I'm dating your sister? Because I decided to go for it even though I knew you'd probably bury me under the fishing docks." She straightened and stood up, grabbing Dia's shoulders to stop her from pacing. "You're keeping yourself from potential relationships, Dia." Dia sighed and bit her lower lip, looking down at the floor.

"I know... I can't just ask her on a date, though! What am I supposed to say? I barely even know her. There's no good reason for me to ask her out or even be around her."

"You don't need a reason to ask someone out on a date. Just say that you think she's an interesting person, and you want to try and get to know her better. If it works, then great! If it doesn't, then there's no harm in at least trying." Kanan wasn't supposed to be making this much sense. It wasn't fair.

"What if I can't keep up with her? She's so... out there. So much energy. I'm not like that."

"You've kept up with me all this time. Remember when I ran away from home because I was gonna live with the dolphins? You were the one who stopped me from doing that."

"You did do a lot of dumb stuff as a kid."

"I-I don't think that's true..." Kanan blushed and looked away, getting a giggle out of Dia. Well, at least there was a silver lining there. "The point is, if anyone can keep up with crazy ideas, it's you. If you want to go out with her, then you should ask. Would it make you feel better if I went with you? I'd be by your side the entire time." Dia thought about it, then nodded meekly. Kanan smiled and pulled Dia into a hug. "It's gonna be fine, Dia. I promise."

"If you say so... I guess I won't end your existence yet, then."

"Ah yes, very comforting as always."

The concert was a pretty popular event. It nearly filled the student center as friends, metalheads, and curious listeners filed in to check out Guilty Kiss. Dia and Kanan had gotten there early so that Dia could stress about it for a bit, which allowed them to stand near the front. There was already a piano and two microphone stands on stage, though the only band member visible was You, who was setting up the drum kit. The others must've been waiting for the official starting time.

Soon enough, the other three got on stage, with Mari holding her guitar like it was her precious baby. Everybody filtered towards their positions, with Yohane grabbing the mic and taking it off of the stand. "Ah, what a hellacious night! Packed to the brim with my little demons! Of course, you're all here to support the fallen angel Yohane, aren't you?" A couple of people clapped, but most people just looked confused. Mari sidled over and leaned into the mic.

"In Japanese, she's asking if you all are ready to rock." That got a better reaction, as more people clapped and cheered. Yohane just pouted and yanked the mic away from Mari. You laughed behind them, and even Riko giggled softly. Before any potential arguing could occur, You stuck her drum sticks up high and clacked them together. Then she brought them down, and the music began.

She recognized the opening song. It was the second song they'd played at practice: Strawberry Trapper. Dia smiled slightly when she remembered watching them practice, hearing the crowd's cheering mixing in with the industrial sounds and Yohane's smooth voice.

I found you! Your eyes looked lonely Your heartbeat's calling out, saying "take me into your hands" Feeling so much heat but calm on the outside, I can enjoy that Hold down those growing feelings

She glanced over to her right, only to find Kanan staring at her. "Eh? Kanan?" The music was loud enough that she might as well have just mouthed the words. Kanan tried to respond, but realized she wasn't getting anywhere, so she leaned in and spoke directly into Dia's ear.

"I think this song is supposed to be about you."

"Eh?! Why would it be about me?"

"You heard those lyrics, right? Lonely eyes, calm on the outside? Sounds just like you." Dia frowned and looked away from Kanan, back towards the stage. There was no way those lyrics were about her. Yes, Mari was the lyricist, but they'd never really interacted beyond random annoying encounters. It had been that way until the day she watched them practice, and they'd played the song then. There was no way. She did notice that Mari seemed to be staring directly at her as she sang, though...

Quietly, collecting information about you Certainly, there's value in a sensitive mind Stepping up in the background, the thrill is unbearable Because once I've chosen my target, you can't run away. You can't run away, my target!!

Kanan had to be mistaken, right? There was no way that Mari had been watching Dia since they'd first encountered each other. She would've noticed, considering how often she'd been watching Mari. ...That didn't sound as good as she hoped it would. Having Mari's stare on her, she felt her body heating up. Why didn't she start looking at the rest of the audience?

Stupid Kanan and her stupid theories. It made Dia analyse all the lyrics, which made her feel self-centered. There was no way Kanan was right. Those lyrics must've been written generically some time ago. Mari would've had no reason to write about her. They'd barely interacted!

To you, who loves quiet and solitude I'm firing an undeniable brilliant light I want to make you mine before you can realize

She was going to kill Kanan after the concert for making her think these ridiculous thoughts. At least it was a nice concert, all strange thoughts aside. Most people seemed to enjoy it, and cheered loudly after each song. Dia found herself clapping as well, louder as each song came and went. The music wasn't so bad the longer she listened to it, and it was clear they all were very skilled at what they did. Her eyes kept wandering back to Mari, though...

When the concert was over, and all the cheering had finally died off, Dia and Kanan found themselves whisked backstage by Mari, who was clearly hyped up on adrenaline. Everybody seemed to be affected as well, though. Even Riko seemed excited, her fingers occasionally still moving like she was playing the piano.

"So? What'd you think? Did you like it? Huh?" Mari's eyes eagerly moved from Dia to Kanan, awaiting their opinions. Kanan glanced over at Dia, giving her the go-ahead to say something.

"I... I thought it was great. You all played really well." She smiled, hoping that it looked as genuine as it felt. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course! We were happy to have the inspiration herself attending our concert!" You's words confused Dia, who just stared at her with a blank expression. Mari turned to stare at You too, though Dia couldn't see what kind of expression she was making. Whatever it was, it made You shrink back with a guilty smile. "Ahaha, glad you could make it!"

"C'mon, let's take a walk, Dia. I want to burn off this energy." Smiling sweetly, Mari packed her guitar up and slung it across her back, grabbing Dia's hand and pulling her out of the student center. She looked back at Kanan with a panicked expression, but she just got a thumbs up in return. Okay, Kanan was back on thin ice again. "I'm really glad you made it, Dia. I really was hoping that you'd come."

"Well, I said I would, didn't I?" Dia was a bit flustered, not having expected to hear that. It made her feel warm again, though. "It was fun, though. You're really good with the guitar."

"Well, I've been playing it since I was seven." She beamed brightly, slinging an arm over Dia's shoulders, which Dia surprisingly didn't immediately shrug off. "I wanted to ask you something back when we'd finished practicing, but I figured tonight would be the better time to ask."

"Oh? Well, I... I wanted to ask you something as well." Now that the time to ask her do or die question was upon her, Dia was back to feeling nervous. She couldn't seem to fully fish out the necessary confidence from her well of positive emotions. This wasn't going to bode well.

"Why don't you ask first?" Mari stopped and grinned at her. "You seem like you're dying to ask me something."

"A-As if!" Dia crossed her arms and looked away, now no longer wanting to ask first. "Why don't you ask first, since you've been waiting for over a week?" Hypocrite that she was, since she had wanted to ask her own question for about that long. There was silence, which confused Dia. She turned back to look at a suddenly contemplative Mari. "Mari?"

"How's your love life? Hot or cold? You can tell me. I won't judge." Back to grinning, Mari put her arm around Dia's shoulder again and pulled the blushing girl closer.

"That's... That's private, don't you think?"

"I'm serious, Dia." The grin vanished once more, and she could see the seriousness in Mari's eyes. "Are you dating anyone?" Dia gulped, feeling put on the spot.

"For... For your information, I'm not dating anyone. That's all I'm telling you, though." That simple answer seemed to put the pep back in Mari's step, who grabbed one of Dia's hands and squeezed it.

"Then I want to ask you out!" There was such earnestness in her eyes, it made Dia freeze on the spot. "I know I must not be the kind of girl you hang around with that often, but I think you're really cool! It's been fun actually having you watch my band play, and I want to keep having you hang out with us. Me specifically, of course." Dia's eyes were wide the whole time, but then she squeezed Mari's hand back, smiling softly.

"I... I would like that, Mari. To be honest, I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Really?!" Mari gaped as Dia nodded, trying to hold eye contact but ending up just staring at the floor. Her excitement could practically be heard as she hugged Dia and lifted her in the air. "So exciting!"

"H-Hey, put me down! Mari!" She had to endure being held in the air for a few more seconds before Mari finally put her down, a silly grin on her face. Mari grabbed Dia's hand again, but there was definitely a different aura around it now. It was a nice aura, though.

"We should get back to the others. I wanna start planning our date!" Mari's excitement was contagious, and Dia felt herself feeding off that happiness as they started walking back to the student center hand in hand.

"I hope this doesn't sound self-centered, but the lyrics to Strawberry Trapper... Were they written about someone in particular?" When she looked at Mari while waiting for a response, she was surprised to find Mari blushing. Could Kanan have been right?

"They were written about someone who really fascinated me, but I never really got a chance to talk to them that much." She turned to Dia, smiling warmly. "But they kinda mean a lot to me." Dia smiled back, feeling that same warmth flooding her body. The kind of warmth she was starting to associate with Mari.

"Well, I'm sure they're very flattered." Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. It didn't matter what kind of lifestyle Mari led. She was a teaser, yes, but she was also friendly and full of energy. Plus she was a very warm hugger. Maybe Dia needed someone like that in her life. "Any girl would be happy to have a song written about them."

"Are you happy?" Dia caught the hope in Mari's eyes, and she found that as she held her hand, the truth came out easily.

"Yes. I'm very happy." They both kept holding each other's hands, sharing smiles the rest of the way back to the student center.

[bunnybbomb]

Trying Tie Tie Loose Ends (Catharsis Continuation): Chapter 8: Trust and Doubt

SUMMARY: Princess Zelda leads a group of Zora to Kakariko Village, with the intention of helping the Oracle Knight find a cure for his deformed eyes and gain better control of his ability to see the future. Brivere’s newfound trust with Link has been shaken, and neither are sure if they can recover from it. Problems arise when Brivere has a troubling vision and later a nightmare, both hinting at something ominous to come.

(A fic for the sidlink fic Coma Baby, a continuation of the other one I made called Catharsis!)

This is a fanfiction for a fanfiction called Coma Baby by BanishedOne on AO3 (tumblr: @banishfics / @banishedone), and a continuation of the other one I wrote called Catharsis. If you like a grumpy Link and really well developed, deep characters and an amazing take on the political structure of the Zora Domain, then definitely check out Coma Baby! It’s a long read and still going on, but the writing and descriptions are superb and it just means more great content. This fic in particular is focused on my favorite character in the series, the OC Brivere. You don’t need to read the whole series to get what’s going on in this fic though, since a lot is explained in here.

I post memes and fics for Coma Baby on my tumblr, you can chat with me any time about anything! I also post all chapters on my AO3 account BunnyBob!

Huge thank you to my amazing beta reader Alina! Her tumblr and ff.net is @ipromiseitsnotanobsession. She actually does editing shit for a living and she is the one that makes sure these things aren’t trash, so

Disclaimer: In no way does this have any true ties or canon to Coma Baby unless stated otherwise. It’s really just an indulgence AU to feed my obsession for Brivere drama.

Brivere tensely glided through the water with the Hylian Champion sitting on his back, legs clenched around his chest. No one was saying anything, not Link, not the other Zora guards ordered to accompany them, not even Princess Zelda as she followed them along the river on top of Crazy Girl. And although his younger brother was mute, even Estuu was unusually on edge as he swam next to Brivere.

It was obvious as to why everyone was so restless. All of them had been there when the usually gentle Prince Sidon had harshly ordered that Brivere was to go to Kakariko Village for treatment. And while none of them had personally witnessed the fight that had occurred between the Prince and the Hylian Champion when Link had dragged him off afterwards, it was obvious from the way the two of them glared at each other from across the throne room before Brivere’s departure.

Link technically wasn’t supposed to be with them anyways. Apparently, he had tried to talk Sidon out of sending the golden knight away. But because he couldn’t provide any real explanation as to why and refused to tell his secrets, Prince Sidon had quickly gotten frustrated and had ordered the Hylian off of the entourage.

He was only on Brivere’s back at the moment because he had met them near the river and claimed that he needed a ride to Kakariko Village completely by coincidence. Zelda was too tired to argue.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, Princess Zelda slowed Crazy Girl down and signaled for the Zora in the water to stop. Apparently, aside from Link, Zelda was the only other person to have some control over the psychotic horse. Perhaps even Crazy Girl could sense the authoritative and holy aura that the princess always gave off.

Bazz nodded at her and quickly stopped, treading water. “Alright! On the command of the Princess we will stop here for the night!”

“Yes sir!” the soldiers chanted back. Noticeably, Estuu, Link, and Brivere were the only ones in the river who didn’t respond. One of them was mute, the other one was a Hylian and technically not under Bazz’s command, and the other was pissed.

Admittedly, Brivere was less than amused that the Guard Captain had been put in charge of the expedition along with Zelda, instead of himself. The two of them still had an awkward relationship thanks to their past interactions, with Brivere and Estuu not giving medical aid to Bazz’s now dead friend and Bazz not giving proper rations for Estuu’s sensitive dietary needs. So technically, their dickish moves evened out.

But that had been a long time ago, and they had now settled into a more professional persona when around each other. Also, Bazz was apparently a childhood friend of Link and the two of them were very close as a result.

No, the irritation lay more with Prince Sidon.

While he appreciated Sidon’s concern, Brivere was annoyed that the prince had suddenly pulled a power move and used his position to force him to go to Kakariko Village against his wishes. Prince Sidon also wasn’t listening to him or Link, absolutely stubborn and stuck on his decision. Sure, maybe they weren’t exactly providing the most precise answers, but he could at least try and sense that something wrong was going on.

“Do you need help, Oracle Knight?” one of the soldiers asked, holding a clawed hand out to Brivere. He remembered her always working in the palace, coincidentally being everywhere he was. They often had polite conversation, so he remembered her name: Alon.

He shook his head. “No, but I appreciate the offer.” he grunted as he pulled himself out of the water. That was the other thing that bothered him. When Prince Sidon had told the other guards to follow them to Kakariko Village, apparently he had made Brivere’s condition seem much worse than it actually was.

It was clear when Alon nodded but still held her arms out, hovering around Brivere as if she was afraid that he would collapse any second. He almost lashed out and smacked her hands away but then he remembered that it wasn’t her fault.

Looking over at Link, he didn’t know whose fault it was.

Sure, maybe the prince was being a bit too cautious for his liking. But they wouldn’t have even been in this mess if Link had just come forward and told Sidon about his immortality and skepticism towards the Sheikah and Princess Zelda.

Link raised an eyebrow, catching the golden knight’s stare. “Something wrong?”

“…No.” Brivere said curtly, turning to walk over to a nearby tree. He slumped up against the rough bark and slid down to sit on the dirt ground, trying to ignore how the other soldiers were glancing over at him in concern. Estuu plopped down right next to him, already cracking open his copy of The Cursed Girl.

Shrugging, the Hylian sauntered over to sit down in front of the brothers. “You know,” he said, absentmindedly dragging his fingers through the dirt, “we’d already be there by now if someone wouldn’t be so stuck up and pretentious about our transportation methods.”

Brivere sighed. He still didn’t understand the tension between Link and Zelda, and while he wanted to trust his friend, he also didn’t want to have preconceived notions about the princess without getting to know her and her side first. “It is alright. While Zora can swim fast we still tire out. Having a rest stop for the night will recover our strength to continue our journey tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but you guys are literally fish people made for the water!” Link cried out, throwing his hands into the air. “We could be resting for the night in Kakariko Village if you guys were just allowed to swim as fast as you usually do!”

“Yes, but we must accommodate for Princess Zelda.”

“She can just ride on your backs like I do! I sat on Sidon’s back while taking out Vah Ruta, for Hylia’s sake, she could easily go down a river!” Link looked back over at the Princess, who was trying to tie Crazy Girl to a tree and failing miserably. “She won’t even let Crazy Girl go wild! My lady could probably get there even before you guys could.”

Brivere tittered, trying to ease his friend’s anger. “I have no doubts of that. She nearly trampled Prince Sidon when I asked you to battle him so long ago.”

A wide smile stretched across Link’s face at the memory. “Wish she could do it again, really. Wipe the smug look off of his face.”

“Are you two going to be alright?” Brivere asked. “I heard you had quite the argument and I would hate for your side of the relationship to be in ruins because of me.”

Link sighed and aggressively raked his fingers through his blond hair. “It’s fine, you’re not the one in the wrong. I guess it’s my fault. After all, this whole situation is because of me. I still haven’t told him about the whole immortality thing yet.”

Brivere stiffened up and glanced over at his younger brother, who didn’t even look up from his book. Catching onto his apprehension, Link leaned in. “It’s fine. Estuu knows. I told him way before I told you, when you made me follow him around to see where he went when he skipped class.”

“That was years ago!” Brivere exclaimed, ogling his younger brother. Estuu flicked his golden eyes up and shrugged before returning his focus to the book in his hands.

Link laughed. “Yup. I also asked him to shoot me in the head with an arrow to test it out.” Brivere’s jaw dropped open as he scanned the Hylian’s rugged face for a scar or any trace of evidence.

“It’s fine, he didn’t actually do it.” Link admitted.

Brivere shook off the Hylian’s casual display of recklessness and silently thanked his brother for not partaking in it. He supposed that he could understand. If Link was actually immortal, there would be no harm in trying to test out its limits.

But as the three of them continued to silently sit there, doubt began to creep into his mind. He glanced over Link’s body, trying to see if there was any hint of past brushes with death. It didn’t help that the Hylian’s muscled body was covered with wounds, some of them so old that they were already faded, while others were fresh and still bleeding a little. But this was to be expected, as the Hylian was a fearsome warrior that picked a fight with anything that happened to move and sometimes even things that didn’t.

Although he had promised to trust Link, Brivere wished that he at least had some sort of undeniable proof to back up the Hylian’s claims of immortality. He did find it suspicious that he kept having visions of the Hylian dying, and unlike similar visions of watching others perish, Link would somehow just reappear and continue along the web of fate. But Brivere wasn’t certain if this was actually a sign of immortality or just a mistake due to a lack of control over his ability to see the future. And not only did Link insist that he couldn’t die, but it was also a power forced on him by crazed Sheikah scientists. Apparently it had damaged his friend both physically and psychologically until he nearly went insane.

And now they were headed to Kakariko Village to ask for help from said crazy scientists, who would be given full medical control of the golden knight’s body.

As much as Brivere wanted to believe in his Hylian friend, he silently hoped that this would be one thing that Link was wrong about.

;

Nighttime had fallen by the time they had finished setting up camp, which was really just two shoddily set up tents for the Hylians near the river where the Zora soldiers would sleep. Brivere sat by the edge of the water, silently watching his younger brother’s scarlet body bob gently beneath the surface.

It was fairly quiet at this point of the night. Most of the soldiers were already sleeping in the water, their black and blue scales shining in the moonlight. Guard Captain Bazz and a couple other guards were on the first watch shift. Princess Zelda had turned in early, and Link was not far away as he talked to Crazy Girl, which made him seem crazy as well since he was casually chatting with an angry horse.

Yet even in the calm lull, Brivere couldn’t help but feel the scales on the back of his neck prickle, as if a hand was closing around his throat. He quickly whipped around, aggressively pointing his longsword at a shadowy form approaching him from behind.

“Oracle Knight!” Alon yelped, holding up her clawed hands. “I am so sorry to disturb your peace!”

Brivere frowned and quickly retracted his blade. “No, I should be the one to apologize. You have done nothing wrong, Alon.”

A shy smile stretched across the black Zora’s face. “Ah! You remembered my name! I am so honored!”

“Of course. You have always been a dedicated soldier and you were even polite enough to hold casual conversation with me back at the palace when many others would not.”

Alon’s head tail wagged excitedly in response. “I am so honored to receive such praise from the Oracle Knight! Please, may I sit next to you if it is no trouble?”

Brivere nodded, patting the ground next to him. She quickly plopped down into the dirt, putting her legs in the water and eagerly kicking them around. Nothing about Alon stood out except for her energetic personality, which clashed against the serious way that most Zora soldiers carried themselves. Other than that, she easily blended into the crowd being of average height and body width. Even her black scales were a common color amongst most soldiers her rank.

Both of them quietly sat there for a few moments, letting the sound of gentle currents hold a conversation in their place. Finally, Alon spoke up, turning to Brivere with her golden eyes shining with curiosity.

“So!” she said. “I do not intend to be rude, but can you truly see the future?”

Brivere stared back at her in confusion. “Yes?” he replied hesitantly. “I would not have this position otherwise.”

“Sorry, sorry!” she yelped, quickly smacking a hand to her face. “I apologize! Of course, that is so obvious!” They fell into an awkward silence before she tilted her head back up again, peering at him from the corner of her eye. “I suppose that I just worded it wrong. Forgive my rudeness, I was actually just trying to ask how the process works.”

Humming, Brivere relaxed his shoulders. “It is quite hard to explain. I do not believe that I am the best person to speak of it, as I do not have full control of my ability yet.”

Her head snapped to look directly at him. “Nonsense! While you may not have full control yet, I am confident that you will eventually! In the meantime, may you tell me what it feels like?”

Brivere hesitated before giving in and responding. It was hard not to get caught up in Alon’s infectious excitement. “I suppose… the closest I can compare it to is the water, but perhaps that is due to me being a Zora and so I am be biased.” Alon giggled at this, making him ease up a little more. “It depends on how much control I have. Images will crash around in my mind, and I can either allow them to drown me or gently carry me around. Those images melt into scenes of the future. But it becomes overwhelming when they all play at the same time, lapping over each other. I am working on becoming more focused.”

Alon nodded thoughtfully, humming as her legs continued to kick in the water. “If it is not too much to ask, may you give me a demonstration?” Alon politely asked.

If it were anyone else, Brivere would have been fed up and annoyed with the conversation at this point. But Alon’s genuinely pure curiosity swayed him, and he found himself nodding slightly. “I cannot guarantee that it will immediately work. But I will try.”

The black Zora quickly nodded her head, retracting her legs from the river and curling into a ball as she quietly stared at Brivere with wide eyes. He chuckled at her childlike wonder before closing his own.

He reached a clawed hand to touch his father’s choker. Technically, any physical touch with the silver collar would send him into a downward spiral of overwhelming visions, but he wore normal armor underneath to allow him to wear it without having a mental breakdown. Brivere didn’t necessarily wear the choker to show off his title as Oracle Knight but rather because he wanted to have a piece of his father with him at all times.

As expected, the usual flurry of images crashed into his mind. No matter how many times he had done this, it never lessened in its intensity. He quickly focused on the first scene he could find, trying to soak in the information before he collapsed from the effort.

Alon flinched when Brivere’s hand suddenly shot down from the collar and his head flew back. “Are you alright?!” she exclaimed, grabbing onto his shoulders. “I am so sorry! This is my fault!” He waved her away, blinking his eyes to adjust to the darkness inside of his visor.

Pointing a clawed finger out to the river, Brivere grunted. “A red fish is going to jump out of the water over there.”

Snapping her head to where he was gesturing at, Alon stared wide-eyed at the water, waiting for something to pop out. Several moments passed as an awkward silence fell over them. She opened her mouth to ask something, but the words were caught in her throat as a bright red fish gracefully leaped out of the water and splashed back in.

“Amazing!” she cried out. “You are a gift from Hylia herself!”

Brivere flushed, unused to such praise. “…Thank you.”

She quickly turned back to him with a wide grin stretched across her face. Something about it seemed unsettling. “This is simply a miracle! Your gift will prove to be very useful! I do not understand why you waste your talents on the royal family and those Hylians!”

Brivere scowled and abruptly stood up. “Do not speak of my lord like that.” he spat, turning to walk away. Alon shot up onto her feet and ran in front of him, a crazed look in her eyes that made the smile across her face seem extremely disturbing. “You are wasting your time here! You literally have the power to predict the future, yet you continue to bow to a useless royal line because of their blood?! Princess Zelda and the rest of those Hylians have deeply mislead you!”

“I will not tolerate such slander!” Brivere snapped back. “Alon, what has gotten into-!”

The words were cut off when images suddenly slammed into his mind the second that Alon grabbed onto his wrist. “You must simply come with me!” she cried, tightening her grip. “We can show you your true potential!”

Panic. Darkness. Bananas. Pain. Shock.

Brivere roared, whipping out his sword and randomly slicing it through the air. He didn’t realize what he had done until Bazz ran over, covering the open wound on Alon’s arm with a cloth.

“What in Hylia’s name happened?!” the Guard Captain cried out.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Alon cut him off. “It is my fault, Guard Captain! I startled the Oracle Knight while he was having a vision and he accidentally lashed out!”

Bazz looked over at the golden knight with disgust. “No Alon, you are not at fault.”

Brivere stared back at the Guard Captain. “That is not what happened.”

“Then do you care to explain yourself?”

Brivere grunted, trying to keep his usual straight face. “Alon asked me to demonstrate my ability, and I obliged. Out of nowhere, she began to slander the royal family and Princess Zelda, then tried to grab me and pull me away. But when she touched me, I had a vision and…”

Bazz’s brow shot up. “And? What was the vision of?”

He cringed. “It is hard to explain. But I do know that Alon is not to be trusted.”

The Guard Captain let out a long sigh and rubbed his temple. “Oracle Knight,” he said, exasperated. “I have known Alon ever since we were children. While we were not exactly close friends, she was a pleasant acquaintance that went through the same military training as I did. She is as dedicated to the Royal Family as the rest of us.”

Brivere stepped forward, trying to convince him of the truth. “No, but she-!”

Bazz held a hand up. “It is alright, Oracle Knight. Prince Sidon warned us that this may happen. We were all well aware of your condition when we signed up for this.”

He let out an incredulous laugh. “Oh? And what is that condition?”

“The eyes, for one thing. Mental breakdowns, passing out, aggression, hallucinations, the like. You most likely just imagined the whole thing and accidentally attacked the first person who came near you, which is why we must get you to Kakariko Village immediately. Not just for your safety but for everyone else around you as well.”

Brivere glared at the other Zora. “I. Did. Not. Imagine. It.” he spat. Bazz glared back and stepped closer, making their brows nearly touch. A growl hummed in their chests as they stared directly into each other’s golden eyes, daring the other Zora to make the first retort. Alon glanced at both of them, trying to come up with something to diffuse the situation.

“What’s going on here?”

The three Zora turned to look at Link, who had suddenly appeared by their side, brow raised. “Master Link,” Bazz said, kneeling down on one knee to come to eye level. “The Oracle Knight has had an episode due to his powers and accidentally lashed out at one of our soldiers.”

“I told you that was not what occurred!” Brivere snapped. “I used my ability, yes, but she started babbling about nonsense and insulting the royal family. When she grabbed me, I had a vision. She is not to be trusted.”

Bazz rolled his golden eyes. “Yet he will not share exactly what the vision entailed, so you can see why I am a bit skeptical, Master Link.”

Link looked at both of them, and Brivere’s heart sank at the thought that his Hylian friend didn’t believe him. “Bazz, make a medical tent for her and heal her wounds.” Link said, pointing to a clearing off to the side. The Guard Captain nodded and gently led Alon away, eyeing Brivere as he left.

“Hylian Champion…” Brivere said, hesitantly. “You believe me, don’t you?

He hated how long it took for Link to barely nod his head. “Come back to my tent for tonight, Brivere.” he urged.

Anger flared up in his chest. “No. I refuse. Why did you not defend me when the Guard Captain accused me of being insane?”

“Because I knew that it wouldn’t do anything!” Link hissed back. “No one is going to believe us if we don’t have concrete evidence! I should know, Sidon would barely listen to me when I tried to get us out of this mess!”

Brivere’s mask was as cold as ever. “And what good that did. You didn’t even tell my lord about your immortality or suspicions of the Sheikah scientists! Do you not trust your own lover with such crucial information?”

Link grunted. “That’s not it. I trust Sidon whole-heartedly. He was the first person I could ever open up to and actually care about after I woke up from my coma.”

“Then why am I the only one who knows about your immortality aside from my younger brother and the Sheikah scientists who gave it to you?!” Brivere spat back.

The Hylian glanced down, suddenly interested in the mud clinging to his boots. “Look,” he said quietly. “The problem isn’t my trust in Sidon. It’s Sidon’s reckless trust in everyone else.”

Brivere arched his brow, forgetting that the gesture would be obscured by his visor. “What do you mean?”

“Admittedly, it’s one of the few flaws that I absolutely despise about him.” Link said. “He is way too trusting and nice for his own good. All you have to do is simply exist and that idiot is willing to put everything on the line just for you.”

The golden Zora nodded. It certainly was one of the more infuriating aspects of being Prince Sidon’s personal knight. He was forced to watch his beloved prince get taken advantage of by too many people who just wanted to abuse his kindness. The large red dork once even tried to get rid of a Lynel by peacefully negotiating with it.

But they both knew that they couldn’t hold that trait against the prince. If it wasn’t for Sidon’s patience and boundless love then neither of them would have ever been given the time of day, or even be dating him at the same time, no less.  

“And that’s just the problem.” the Hylian continued. “I know that if I tell him, he will believe me. But then he will believe Zelda, and then King Dorephan, and everyone else who tells him otherwise. He is too gentle to say no and too naïve to believe that there are more sinister things lurking within those you least expect. Sidon just took the offer for medical help at face value and didn’t even investigate into it further.”

Both of them stared at each other as the question that had been blazing inside of Brivere for days finally came to a roaring crescendo, becoming an inferno that threatened to burn him alive if he didn’t set it free.

“Link.” he said carefully. “What exactly made you decide to trust me so much in the first place? What makes me so different from my lord?”

Caught off guard by the sudden question and the rare use of his name from the golden knight, Link hummed as he racked his brain for answers. Finally, a shuddering sigh deflated his small form as he looked back up at Brivere. “I guess it’s just because I know that you’re just like me.”

“…How so?” Brivere asked. “May you please elaborate?”

Link grunted, raking his dirty fingers through tangles of blond hair. “You and I aren’t like Sidon. We are broken beyond repair and can barely show genuine kindness like he can.”

The golden knight tittered. “Am I supposed to take this as a compliment or something?”

A smirk stretched across the Hylian’s face. “No, asshole. I’m just trying to say that we have been fucked over so many times that we have built up a wall to keep everyone out. To stop them from hurting us and leaving our bloody corpses out for the bokoblins.”

Brivere nodded. He couldn’t argue against the truth. His own infamous emotionless mask was already all of the evidence that he needed.

“I know that we didn’t have the best start.” Link admitted. “I punched you straight off a bridge once for Hylia’s sake. But after that, I watched us slowly take down each other’s walls, brick by brick. And I like the Brivere that I found hiding underneath all of the fancy silver jewelry and armor.”

He had always waited for the perfect moment to quote Betaal’s favorite comeback. “Are you going to finish sucking my dick first or are you going to get to your point?” Brivere asked, trying to keep a straight face.

His indifferent mask cracked when Link’s blue eyes flew wide open as he gawked at the usually stern golden knight, jaw agape. Both of them let out low, muffled chuckles that exploded into full-on laughter that shook their bodies and nearly toppled them onto the ground.

“Look!” Link wheezed between gasps for air. “I’m just trying to say that trust doesn’t come easily to either of us. So I knew that if I told you my suspicions, your trust would be genuine. Your trust just like mine. It takes a lot to earn it, but once you do, it’s the strongest damn thing in the world.”

As both of them settled down, Brivere repeated his friend’s words over and over again in his mind. He couldn’t help but agree with the Hylian’s statements. The golden knight could easily count the number of people he completely trusted on Estuu’s only hand, but he knew that he would do anything for each and every one of them.

And the Hylian Champion was included in that count.

Link was the first to recover from his fit of giggles, straightening up as he patted Brivere on the arm. “Do you trust me enough to not stab you in your sleep if you sleep in my tent tonight?”

Chuckling, Brivere nodded. “I trust you.”

;

           A sickeningly white mask.

           A blood red symbol branded into its surface.

           An upside down eye.

           A single tear falling upwards.

           A shining blade, plunging into bright blue eyes.

Brivere shot up into a sitting position, breaking out into a cold sweat as he gasped for breath. A lightning bolt of pain shot through his back, as if someone had sliced into his skin along his spine. His eyes were burning in his skull as they frantically searched the inside of the canvas tent for something.

Someone.

His sudden movement woke instantly woke up Link, who grabbed onto the golden knight’s shoulder. “Brivere!” he exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

Without responding, Brivere smacked the Hylian’s hand away, scrambling to grab his silver scale longsword before bolting out of the tent. Link sat paralyzed on the cot, staring after him in confusion before his senses caught up to reality.

“Brivere!” he screamed, tossing aside the sheets to run after him.

The golden knight didn’t hear the Hylian’s shouts behind him, his senses completely taken over by something else. It felt the same as when he was asleep. His body was out of his control and it felt like he was just watching himself from afar, as if he wasn’t the golden Zora that was desperately running through the woods. He didn’t know what exactly he was looking for, but all he knew was that it needed to reveal itself immediately.

Zora soldiers that were sleeping in the river shot up at the Hylian’s shouts, ogling Brivere as he sprinted past them. Bazz’s eyes went wide as he realized where exactly the Oracle Knight was heading. “He’s going to Alon’s medical tent!” he shouted as he pulled himself out of the water. “Restrain him before he hurts her again!”

“Yes sir!” they shouted, following after the Guard Captain.

Everyone was now chasing the hysterical Oracle Knight, who was running towards the medical tent like his life depended on it. And as far as he knew, it really did.

Alon jumped in her makeshift bed as Brivere tore the feeble tent down from the trees, exposing her to the open night air. “Oracle Knight!” she yelped. “Please, what are you-!”

Brivere cut her off as he pointed his longsword to her throat, pressing its sharp edge into her scales until a little bit of blood trickled out from under them.

“I will not hesitate to kill if you do not immediately reveal yourself.” he growled.

His distorted eyes pierced into her golden ones from the slits of his visor, seeing the eerie calm that hid beneath her mask of faked fear. He was so focused on it that he completely ignored the Zora soldiers that were still rushing towards him from behind.

“Oracle Knight Brivere!” the Guard Captain shouted. “Cease this at once!”

Bazz would have tackled the wild golden knight to the ground if his Hylian friend hadn’t done that exact same thing to the black Zora first. Both of them slammed into the dirt with Link on top of him, and before Bazz could say anything, a hand was roughly pressed onto his shoulder, pinning him down. The other guards ran around them, still charging at Brivere.

“Call off the other soldiers Bazz!” Link screamed in his face.

“But the Oracle Kni-!”

Link smashed his fist into the ground next to the Guard Captain’s head. “Now, Bazz!”

The black Zora gulped. “All soldiers stand down!” he hesitantly shouted.

They all immediately stopped, looking back at the Hylian Champion, who was still holding their Guard Captain down. Even Brivere looked over his shoulder, trying to see what was going on. “But sir!” one of them yelled back. “The Oracle Knight is not in his right mind! His condition has only worsened and has corrupted him!”

Link got up from Bazz’s chest with a blazing glare, making them all flinch. “Have more faith in him!” he scowled at them. “He is one of the strongest warriors in the Zora Domain, with the ability to see the future, for Hylia’s sake!”

He then turned to focus on the golden knight ahead of them, whose sword was still drawn to the cowering woman beneath its sharp point. “Brivere!” he yelled. “Do what you believe is right! I’ll back you up!” Gratitude blossomed in the golden knight’s chest at his friend’s absolute trust.

Alon gaped at the other soldiers, who were all hesitantly twitching in place. "You guys!" she cried out, eyes wide. "The Oracle Knight has gone insane! Prince Sidon warned us of this, you have to help me! He's going to kill me!"

None of them moved, save for their eyes glancing back at the infuriated Hylian Champion that glared them all down, effectively anchoring them into the dirt. Even Bazz slowly got up, nodding at Brivere to continue.

Confidence soared through the golden knight's body as he nodded back, turning to glare down the blade at the cowering woman trapped beneath it. "Last chance." he said in a frighteningly steady voice, pushing the sword a little deeper into her throat, not enough to cause too much damage but just enough to make the threat clear as day.

He could feel the weapon in his hands tremble from how hard Alon was shaking. It almost made him reconsider his brash actions, but the way that her golden eyes were completely calm made him all the more sure that he was doing the right thing.

"Oracle Knight!" she yelped, holding her hands up. "Please, it's just me, Alon! Snap out of it!"

"I had a vision. You are not Alon."

At this, her face contorted, quickly switching from fear to amusement. "Oh." she said in a sickeningly sweet voice. It felt like syrup, disgustingly slithering around in his head. "I suppose I should have anticipated that. Then again, isn’t that your whole thing?"

Alon slowly stood up, still allowing Brivere's sword to pierce her neck as she rose. She smirked at him, staring down the blade at him as if it was just a minor inconvenience. "You think you are the one to make demands here?" she purred. "I think I'm the one in charge, really. I'll even give you a choice: either you come with me willingly or I take you by force. No matter your reply I still intend to bring you to the rest of my clan."

Brivere reeled his sword back before harshly slashing at Alon. She disappeared into a puff of smoke and reappeared behind him.

"BRIVERE!" Link screamed. The other Zora soldiers all stared in shock as Alon's body suddenly transformed into that of a smaller warrior covered in black cloth, with a white mask bearing the red symbol of an upside-down crying eye obscuring their face.

The golden Zora quickly whipped around, slicing at the imposter who simply danced away, forcing Brivere to follow them as they nimbly dodged his attacks.

"All soldiers assist and protect the Oracle Knight!" Bazz shouted.

"Yes sir!" The guards yelled back in unison, rushing forward with their silver spears pointed at the new threat. Link charged as well, drawing out his sword and screaming a ferocious battle cry.

The imposter looked back at the stampeding soldiers, and although the mask covered their face, it was obvious that they were amused. They looked back at Brivere and continued to weave between his attacks.

"Will you come with me or not?!" they gleefully shouted, ducking under his sword.

He scowled back, swinging his weapon even harder. "Never! My life lies with the royal family and Prince Sidon of the Zora Domain!"

"Then don't say I didn't warn you!"

Before Brivere could process their words, the other warrior had whipped out a shock arrow from behind their back and stabbed it into his arm.

As he felt his body seize from the electric currents, fire blazing through his veins, he could see Link and the other Zora soldiers still running at them with panic branded into their faces.

“Brivere!"

The golden knight tried to stay standing for as long as he could, but eventually lost control of his body and felt himself begin to collapse. Before he could hit the ground, the imposter reeled back and launched onto Brivere’s stomach, knocking all the air out of his lungs as they both disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

[lesbrarians]

Junkrat/Roadhog:: Origins Ch. 11

Title: Origins

Characters: Junkrat, Roadhog

Rating: R

Summary: The origins of Junkrat and Roadhog. Junkrat finds a mysterious treasure in the nuclear wasteland of the Australian Outback and quickly finds himself a target. When a hitman is sent to kill him, he convinces the man to become his personal bodyguard in exchange for half the spoils. Their ensuing crime spree could be legendary – if they can get over the initial bad blood between them. Can also be found on AO3 if you prefer reading it there!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen

---

Waking up was a slow process. His eyes cracked open. He could see the trim around the top of the wallpaper, a border of faded flowers, before his eyes drifted shut again.

He was vaguely aware of someone saying his name.

“Should I scare him awake?” Roadhog. He’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Please don’t.” Rosa, probably.

“Junkrat!” Ava tapped on his arm, and he finally managed to force his eyes open and keep them open.

“Did it work?” he said blearily. He reached up to touch the part of his head that was throbbing and felt thin stripes of tape over a fresh scar.

“Well, you’re talking, so it didn’t fail!” Ava said, chipper as ever. “No way of knowing how successfully the two will interface until you get your prosthetic attached, though. When you’re all patched up and your arm’s up to it, we’ll give it a little looky-loo.”

“Excellent,” he said. His throat hurt. His arm hurt. He just wanted to go back to sleep. Ava wouldn’t let him, though, and he quietly resented her for it. It helped when she gave him some yogurt, and he clumsily spooned it into his mouth with his left hand, refusing all offers to give him assistance. If he was going to be helpless and laid up, the least he could do was take agency over his own eating process.

Cranky and in pain, he made everyone leave him alone for that first day post-surgery, unless they were offering him painkillers and antibiotics. They set him up on the couch in the living room, where he laid and counted the slats in the wood ceiling while eavesdropping on the others’ conversations.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor,” Roadhog said. He was sitting at the kitchen table with the two women, a tiny teacup looking ridiculously dainty in his hands.

“Shoot -- I owe you one for saving my arse when we mounted the omnium attack,” Ava replied.

“We’ve come into some money.” Junkrat would have laughed if he hadn’t been feeling so miserable. That was one way to describe their take from robbing banks. “More than we should probably carry.” Junkrat was enjoying Roadhog’s use of the word “we.” He liked being a “we.” An “us.” A pair.

“But you don’t want to put it in a bank,” Ava said knowingly.

“Right.”

“Well sure, we can hold onto it for you!”

Roadhog raised his voice to address Junkrat from across the room. “You okay with that?”

Junkrat's automatic response was to deny everything. “Don’t know what yer talkin’ about, I wasn’t listenin’."

“Yes you were. Don’t pretend you weren’t.”

Junkrat stuck another spoonful of yogurt into his mouth and raised his hand in a thumbs up. He didn’t care where they kept their money as long as he had enough on him to burn when he felt like paying for things. Roadhog returned the gesture with a thumbs up of his own.

Junkrat was less of a pill the following day, but he still hated being bedridden and cooped up, and he was extremely vocal about it. The only thing that got him through was the knowledge that once his body recovered, he would have a working mechanical arm -- hopefully, at least.

He couldn't hide his nerves when it came time to finally test out the prosthetic. Ava helped him attach it that first time, covering his stump with a sock for padding before attaching the socket and limb.

The weight of his new arm felt strange, even though he'd managed to keep it reasonably light yet sturdy. He'd gotten used to having nothing there. Junkrat bent the mechanical arm at the elbow. He thought about moving his fingers, and one by one, they curled into his palm. A wide grin split his face in two. Ava looked both pleased and relieved that her surgical procedure was a success, and Rosa beamed at her with pride, her eyes full of nothing short of utter adoration. Junkrat laughed, the sound pure and joyful as he clenched his hand and unfurled his fingers. He picked up one of the apples in the bowl with ease. "Look, look what I can do!" he exclaimed, tossing it from hand to hand.

He didn't realise he was squeezing the apple too hard until he heard the sound of juice dripping on the table. “Oops-a-daisies.” He dropped the crushed apple and wiped his metal hand off on his shorts.

“Yeah, be careful with that,” Ava said, grinning at him. “It's kind of hard to gauge your own strength when you don't have sensation in your limb. But you'll learn.”

“Yeah!” he said, full of enthusiasm as he let out another laugh. “Roadhog, look at my hand!” He waved it in Roadhog's face.

Roadhog gave a belly laugh, clearly amused with how overjoyed he was. “I see it.”

“I can use it again, oh, mate, y'had no idea, I was fuckin' scared shitless that it would be stiff, but look, I can hold things!” He impulsively grabbed Roadhog's hand to demonstrate, cold metal closing around three of Roadhog's fingers. He couldn't feel his hand wrapped around Roadhog's, but it still warmed his cold, black heart. Roadhog didn't pull away, but there was a brief moment of silence between all four of them. Junkrat dropped his hand before it became too awkward. “Anyways. Look!” He wiggled each of his fingers individually. “I can't wait to use it to blow things up, ain't gonna have no problems workin' the trigger or nothin'.”

“I am really pleased with the range of motion,” Ava agreed, taking his mechanical hand in her own and examining it. “Good teamwork, everyone!”

“Honestly, we couldn't have done it without us all,” Rosa chimed in. “Roadhog helped you build the arm, I engineered our device, Ava performed the surgery -- if we hadn’t all chipped in, well, it wouldn't have worked. We make a good team.”

“Yeah!” Junkrat enthused. “Ladies and gentlemen, I say this little experiment is a rousing success!”

He couldn't stop looking at his hand for the rest of the day, seizing every opportunity possible to use it. “See, I can even draw again!” he pointed out as he grasped a pencil and illustrated the assembly instructions for his arm, just in case he ever needed to repair it (and, given the adventures he got up to in his daily life, he was certain that he would damage it more than once).

“You still hold the pencil wrong,” Roadhog observed.

“Well how the hell else am I supposed to hold it?”

Roadhog took the pencil from him and demonstrated the proper technique. Junkrat narrowed his eyes and tried to imitate it. It was awkward and totally unnatural to him after over twenty years of gripping writing utensils in his fist. He kept dropping it. "Like this?" he said, grasping the pencil between all of his fingertips and holding it up for examination.

Roadhog sighed. “No.” He took Junkrat's hand and repositioned his fingers so the tip of the pencil rested against his ring finger. “Like this. Or this,” he added, shifting it to rest against his middle finger.

Junkrat dearly wished he had sensation in his metal arm, because he wanted to feel Roadhog's hand touching his, a thought that mildly concerned him. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that he was developing some kind of desire for affection from his bodyguard. He preferred to just keep those thoughts tightly locked up and buried in the back corners of his mind instead of addressing them in a healthy manner or trying to figure out what exactly they meant. Still, even though he couldn't feel Roadhog's fingers against his, the knowledge of his touch sent goosebumps up the flesh of his arms.

"Yeah, I can't do that," he said. “Learned it this way, can’t do nothin’ about it now.” He wrapped his entire hand around the pencil and resumed the process of painstakingly detailing the small mechanical parts of his prosthetic. His blocky handwriting may have looked like chicken scratch, and he couldn't draw a person to save his life, but he did have a knack for technical illustration regardless of his pencil holding form.

Junkrat couldn't fall asleep that night. He just kept looking at his new arm and marveling at it, holding it up to look at it in the dim light of the living room clock. It was beautiful, an absolute masterpiece in the form of salvaged junk, but it needed some colour, he decided. He snuck out to the motorcycle, undid its protective tarp, and dug around in the bottom of the sidecar for one of his bottles of spray paint. Orange would be best, he decided. While he had a particular fondness for the colour yellow, part of his peg leg was orange, and he thought coordination would be best.

It was too dark to paint outside, and he didn't want to wake up the others by turning on the lights in the main parts of the house, so Junkrat slipped into the bathroom. He spread out towels all over the floor -- surely Ava and Rosa wouldn't mind if they got a little dirty, right? It would wash out. Probably. He didn't know anything about laundering. When he was satisfied there was enough coverage, he detached his prosthetic, laid it on the towels, and sat down on the floor to begin the painting process. It wasn't a simple matter of coating the whole arm in paint, as not everything was going to be orange. He rather fancied himself an artist, albeit an artist of destruction, and he wanted to leave the bolts and underlying framework of the arm their usual steel colour.

He wasn't prepared for how difficult it would be to work the nozzle and maneuver the spray paint bottle with his non-dominant hand, so he hunched over it closely, being ever so careful and deliberate with his movements.

After a while of his nose nearly touching the spray paint, the high from inhaling paint fumes kicked in. It made him irrationally giddy. He started laughing for no real reason as he worked on covering the cuff of his wrist. The sound bounced off the walls of the small bathroom, and hearing his own laughter reverberating just made him cackle even louder. He didn't know what was so funny, but everything in his life seemed positively wonderful and silly at that moment in time.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Junkrat?" Roadhog's voice, still heavy with sleep floated through the door. Apparently he had woken up, found the spot next to him missing, and gone to investigate. "You okay?"

"Yeah, sure I am! C'mon in, big guy, plenty of room for you in here."

Roadhog opened the door to the bathroom and took in the sight of Junkrat sitting on the bathroom floor, knees spread in an inverted W, surrounded by paint-stained towels. Junkrat caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror and had a better sense of what Roadhog was seeing: patchy hair more wild than usual and his long nose stained bright orange. Junkrat laughed harder and pointed at his reflection.

"What the hell." Roadhog grabbed his upper arm and hauled him to his feet, Junkrat stumbling to regain his balance and bracing himself against Roadhog's belly. "Are you insane? You're spraying paint in a tiny bathroom with no ventilation."

"Is that bad?" Junkrat genuinely had no idea, never having painted indoors before.

"Depends on if you want brain damage and bad lungs."

Junkrat gasped. "Hold the phone, does that mean I would get to wear a mask like yers? ‘Cause if so, then yes I do!"

Roadhog shoved him out of the bathroom. "Idiot. Go back to bed."

"I mean, don't mind if I do, but my arm's not done yet!"

"You can finish it in the morning. Outside. With something to cover your face. Like you're supposed to do."

Junkrat hummed, a long, drawn out "mmmmm" sound before acquiescing. "Alright, I'll listen to ya this time, but remember, I'm the boss!” He jabbed his thumb into his own chest. “I should get to make the executive decisions around here."

"Not when your decisions are stupid and will get you killed."

"Aw, ya worried about me?" Junkrat cooed. "Gotta say, I'm touched--"

Roadhog gave him another push, and he sprawled onto his sleeping bag. "Bed," he repeated, lowering his voice so as not to wake Ava and Rosa.

Junkrat wiggled into the sleeping bag and stretched out. "Ya always take care of me, dontcha."

"Someone has to. You can't take care of yourself." Well, he wasn't exactly wrong. "How did you survive to adulthood?"

Junkrat shrugged, giving him a silly grin that Roadhog probably couldn't see in the dark. "Good luck and great genes?"

"Shut up."

Junkrat obliged. Whether it was the late hour or the side effect of too many inhalants in his system, he passed out in seconds.

He woke up in the morning to find that his mechanical arm was fully painted and mostly dry, suspended on the kitchen counter so that it could dry from all angles. "Ya finished it for me?" he asked. Either Roadhog was the culprit, or he actually had finished it himself and had simply blacked it out in his paint-addled high.

Roadhog shrugged. "Maybe."

It was close enough to a "yes" for him. Junkrat grinned and slapped him on the back. "Aw, thanks mate! What would I do without ya?"

"Be dead, probably."

"Yeah, probably," Junkrat jovially agreed.

---

“You sure you two don't want to stay a little longer?” Rosa asked. She and Ava hadn’t brought it up, but it was time for the two Junkers to leave. Junkrat was as good as healed after their lengthy stay, and they were itching to resume their life on the outside.

There was a part of Junkrat that would miss the stability of having a roof over his head and someone to cook free meals for him, but the part of him that longed for adventure was stronger.

“Nah, it's time for us to hit the road,” he said. “Can't keep us chained and all that.” Roadhog nodded in wordless agreement.

“Well, come back over anytime, you hear? Even if it’s just to withdraw some money from your new personal bank.” Rosa stood on her tippy-toes to hug Roadhog, then Junkrat. His massively hunched over posture and tendency to balance his weight on his peg leg by crouching put him on relatively the same level as her 5’10” height. Ava squeezed both of their hands and saluted them both.

“You know you’re always welcome here, Roadhog, if you ever get tired of the enforcer life. You too, Junkrat, since the both of you look like a package deal.” Neither of them tried to deny it, not having gone into the details of why Roadhog was accompanying Junkrat in the first place. It was a complicated business, and the less people who knew about his treasure and need for a bodyguard, the better.

Red dust kicked up behind the motorcycle as they took off, venturing back into the wilderness that served as home. As nice as it had been to be cared for by Ava and Rosa, Junkrat was glad to be back on the open road, in his rightful place in Roadhog’s sidecar.

“I can’t wait to try this baby out,” he said, flexing his mechanical fingers. “Where should we hit up first?”

“You pick.”

Junkrat oohed. He had power, the ability to control their destination. It was quite the heady sensation. “Honestly? I could go for some lollies.” It wasn’t often that he got to eat chocolate, and it was always a treat when he did get his grubby fingers on some. They ended up at a sweet shoppe in the first town they came across. They mutually agreed that it wasn’t worth sticking up the place, as they needed the proper amount of time to decide what they wanted to eat, and besides, it was relatively cheap.

Still, Junkrat illegally sampled everything that he could get away with.

The woman behind the counter squinted at them while they paid. “Don’t I know you two from somewhere?” she asked as she rang up their purchase.

“Depends,” Roadhog answered. “Do you watch TV?”

A giggle burst out of Junkrat. After the major setback of losing his arm and the time lost to recovery, he was sure they weren’t on the news with any real frequency anymore, but when they were at the pinnacle of crime, there was many a news story warning the public about the two dangerous criminals -- or a couple of idiots, depending on which outlet was reporting.

They left before she could catch on.

Junkrat sucked on a Bertie Beetle chocolate bar as they walked back to the motorcycle, finding it better than any of the actual beetles he had tasted. Roadhog waited to eat his pink musk sticks until they were alone and he could push up his mask, which Junkrat still wished he would remove just once.

"Wait just a tick," Junkrat said, flinging an arm out to stop Roadhog in his tracks. He pointed at a bottle shop across the street from the sweets store. "Mate, I think we just found our next heist."

"A bottle-o?"

"Yeah! Think about it, we get all the booze we can drink and get pissed to celebrate this." He waved his mechanical arm. "Plenty expensive too, so it's worth the break-in. We can drink like kings, get all the top shelf, quality stuff!"

“Hmmm.” It was a thoughtful hum, one that Junkrat found usually preceded Roadhog agreeing to go along with his latest scheme. “It’s a plan.”

[psychic-refugee]

Fanfiction Pet Peeves

These are just my opinions. I don’t name any specific author or story.

It seems like for the most part it is considered rude to post criticisms on fanfiction. I think as a community we’re trying to be more inclusive of all writing “styles.” I am a big believer in writing the story I want to tell, so I have to recognize that my style won’t be for everyone. I do think this is a positive direction, but I think it also cuts down on the responses/reviews people would get. I’m not opposed to it, but if this is what is considered the proper etiquette then we have to accept that we will not get as much feedback.

Now I know there is a difference between a criticism and a flame. I’m not saying we should allow flames.

I keep seeing all these posts about leaving a review, but I feel like we’re not giving them leeway to review. And sometimes, not leaving a review is a review. I always assume that if my hit count is higher than my review counts, then the difference are the people who didn’t like the story enough to review. Whether or not because they found it boring or hated it, that’s left a mystery.

I think with the advent of the “not beta read, all typos are my own” tag or warning, it’s basically telling the reader that they did some proof reading but for various reasons, they don’t have an editor basically. I think because fanfiction is a hobby for most of us, then it’s fair not to go that extra effort. Probably because I do it. lol. I try to get everything I can, but a few things always manage to slip by. So, most don’t take note or bother to mention typos unless it’s particularly egregious. The only exception I would make would be to writers whose first language isn’t English. I have come across stories where it’s clear there is something lost in translation and having a beta would be necessary.

E.g. a GOT fic where they called Gregor Clegane the “Enormity that Rides.” His nickname is the Mountain that Rides. I get that they maybe thought they were using a synonym, but in this instance, it doesn’t fit because Mountain that Rides is what he is known as, not necessarily a description.

I think it’s a fine line between something that is written well or poorly and personal taste.

There is just so much fanfiction out there, it’s hard to review them all. There have been many cases where I don’t even make it past the first chapter, the story just doesn’t interest me or there is something about it that is off putting.

Here are a few things that make me not want to read the story at all.

 “I suck at summaries” and variations thereof: basically the author is bashing their own writing and they still want you to read. I don’t have time for that. If the author doesn’t have the confidence in writing a few sentences, I can’t imagine their actual writing being worthwhile. This is especially true for AO3 with its tagging system that can actually help give us an idea of what the story is about. There are thousands of fics written daily, I can’t read them all and this is part of the triage of me deciding to read something. The only time I may ignore this is if the OTP is exceptionally rare or the fandom is small. In those instances, I’m not as picky because I don’t have much to pick from.

I also wonder if it’s not some form of compliment fishing. Like they want you to feel bad for them for being insecure, and they want you to say “no, it’s great!” I have no patience for those type of people.

Overtagging: If a fic has a million tags, my eyes just skip over it. This usually isn’t a problem for normal stories, this usually happens because it’s part of an anthology. It just looks super obnoxious to me. I would rather they just start a new fic each time and tag accordingly. There are some who overtag, listing literally every character that may show up despite their actual contribution to the story. If a character is just kind of mentioned or seen in passing or is talked about as part of exposition, then I don’t think they need to be tagged. Character tagging is really for the main characters. If I’m looking for X and your story shows up, but X is just seen in one chapter and it’s not about them, then I’d be irritated. The same goes for any “Warning” tags. Over tagging just clutters everything up, and I personally can’t stand it.

I’m also not a fan of doing whole sentences as tags. “I wrote this when I should have been…” and variations of things that would do better in notes rather than tags. Like I’m never going to filter for whatever your inane excuse is for the writing the story in the first place. It’s just dumb, obnoxious, and unnecessary to me.

No proof reading: This is different than not beta read. There are some that outright admit that they haven’t proof read. Sometimes, they’ll say “I’ll get to it later,” which I don’t understand at all. It’s fanfiction, we do it for free. There are no actual deadlines, I don’t understand why they don’t proof read before they publish. Then there are those that say “not proof read” and leave it at that. I’d like to think I’m a decent writer, and my first couple of drafts are always pretty rough. Even with several rounds of proof reading, I still manage to miss things. Not even trying seems so lazy and arrogant. I feel like they’re giving me advanced warning to not bother.

What makes me stop reading after the first couple of chapters.

Format: If the format is off or makes it hard to read, I just can’t bother. There are writers who somehow are able to write on their mobile device. I don’t know if they just don’t have access to a computer, or perhaps don’t want to leave evidence of writing fanfiction. Either way, I respect that they have limited means, but I don’t want to read it. The worst is when they don’t put in hard returns, either for separate paragraphs or when writing dialog. Basically, they don’t include enough white space. Trying to keep track of where you are reading with a never-ending paragraph creates eye fatigue, and it takes away from enjoying the story.

Then there are writers who don’t use punctuation. There was one author that refused to use capital letters, ever. They cited E.E. Cummings as justification. Not only did I have a problem with this readability wise, the justification didn’t make sense to me. Like nothing about the story really spoke to me about using this particular syntax as a way of any meaningful expression. But that’s just my personal opinion.

Wiki Storytelling/Choppy writing: This happens when there are too many simple sentences, or the narrative feels like it’s just a summary. Like there’s little to no description of what the character was feeling or where they are. I’m not saying we all need to be G.R.R.M. or Tolkien, but I want more “meat” in my story than:

Mal was told to get the wand. Her three best friends went with her. They got into the limo, it was scary. They tried to steal the wand but set off the alarm.

This type of story telling is boring to me. I think we find this mostly with very young writers.

AUs of movies with no unique features: where the fandom characters replace the characters in movies and the writers basically rewrite more or less line by line what happened in the movie (e.g. Descendant’s characters in Legally Blonde). I feel like I could save time if they just told me “X movie but with Y actors.” Not only do I feel it’s a waste of time to read it, I would think it was a waste of time to write it. Like assuming we’ve seen the movie, we know what happens. If the replacement characters do nothing to add or alter the movie, then I don’t see a point of the story.

Anyone have any fanfiction pet peeves?