#no I am totally not self projecting
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I keep drawing these silly guys but not in a hyperfixation way [lie]
#percy jackson#leo valdez#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#memes#my crappy art#frank zhang#nico di angelo#pjo#i thought this was funny#don’t make fun of my handwriting#guys we just exploded a bus#my art stuff#no i am totally not self projecting#Percy would totally surf#also leo doing the#i know what you are#to Nico is endlessly funny to me#art#fanart#percy jackson art#kay draws
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regulus bought a camera as soon as he could afford it
now he takes pictures of remus whenever he looks pretty which is all the time in his opinion
remus half asleep, remus with wet hair, remus at the beach, remus after sex, just him
#the way i am totally not self projecting because i would totally not do this#hehe :3#moonseeker#moonwater#remus lupin#regulus black
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Murderbot Diaries out here asking the real questions like:
What if you were something that was neither human nor machine and you had only ever been treated as a monstrous object? And:
What if there had never been a single entity in your existence that you could trust? And:
What if you were constructed from the most basic parts of your psyche to be a violent tool? And:
What if any attempt to protect yourself from abuse would result in torture or death? And:
What if you were finally free? And suddenly there were humans who loved you, but you had no way to comprehend that let alone believe it? And:
What if you didn't want to be human, but you had to alter yourself body and mind in order to hide among them? And:
What if you cared so fucking much that you couldn't stand it, and the only way you could express that was through astounding acts of violence to protect them? And:
What if caring was so dangerous and alien to you that you didn't even know you did? And:
What if you were so afraid that looking at anyone was impossible, and you had to stand at the remove of seeing everyone through a third person point of view? And:
What if you were a sarcastic bastard because you'd never been allowed to express anything but groveling subservience? And:
What if you started to want to accept that you cared?
#i am very normal about this series#i am not engaged in total self-projection onto this character#Murderbot Diaries
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highschool!finnick odair with The Prophecy coded reader.
like reader is apart of that one friend group where boys always go up to their friends but never to them. all her friends all have partners or have people they’re talking to, and all reader wants is that.
but when boys do come up to her it’s them asking her to set them up with one of her friends.
all she wants is someone to love her the way she loves.
all she wants is someone who wants their company.
she prays that hopefully one day it’ll be her.
and then along comes finnick.
he approaches reader, and of course she thinks he’s just asking to be set up with one of her friends.
but she’s pleasantly surprised when he asks her for her socials and her number…but she isn’t convinced that he wants to get to know her.
so it’s not surprising that she’s shocked that after talking for 2 weeks he asks her out.
before she knows it, she finds herself being with finnick more and more.
she finds herself walking with finnick afterschool, going on more dates with him, being at his house.
she’s confused for a while and freaks out. she convinces herself that if she keeps spending time with him she’s just going to get hurt. this resulting in her accidentally ghosting finnick for a few weeks.
finally he gets some alone time with her and he explains to her that he’s falling in love with her, and that he thought she felt the same way. but if she didn’t he would respect that.
she can’t believe it. he actually likes her. no, he’s falling in love with her.
it’s finally her turn to love someone. and she finally gets to be loved the way she loves.
and who else better to love than finnick odair?
#finnick odair#finnick odair x reader#finnick fluff#finnick imagine#thg finnick#ttpd#hunger games finnick#i am totally not self projecting
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spire climbers
#slay the spire#sts#the silent#the ironclad#the defect#slay the spire ironclad#slay the spire silent#slay the spire defect#sorry watcher you can pop in later#also totally not projecting some character traits onto defect nope not me noooo#im so sorry silent the voices prefer the armored guy and the skrunkly robot#also was gonna draw defect working on repairs in the background to explain why no cloak#silent and defect are resting while ironclad is smithing#whiiiiiiiile hes got the lowest HP of the group atm#truely a self care icon#also defect my beloved#i am sorry but not really for projecting the need to save everyone onto you#a different blue robot recently had their story finally ended so i have to cope#so now you have to deal with crippling anxiety over what you did in the past!#:D#art#original art#sketchy comic
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What if Krel was Pinoy tho.
Look at him eating halo-halo, what if he was Filipino.
It would be so cool. :)))
I love making little homemade tape stickers. :)
#loquāx scrawls#toa krel#krel tarron#I am totally not self projecting. Please im so normal#Filipino people are soo cool.#Please follow me others of my kin :(
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Hello! May we hear/read more about Revelator, please? 👀
You wish to know about my original work??? Chatter mode has been unlocked with this query.
Revelator is my attempt to make my workaholic brain shut up. I struggle to continue finding purpose in writing fics when I can't capitalize on it. So I decided it would be a good idea to take the basic premise of one of my fics and apply it to my own original work to inspire me to work on something productive and maintain my hobby. That said, Revelator follows the general premise of my most popular fic, The Many Lives of Optimus Prime.
Rant incoming.
In a universe where humanity has fled to the stars after their empire was shattered by an unknowable entity, twenty sentient robotic units are created by a relic that humanity does not understand but still houses. Due to a series of misfortunes on the world they tried to terraform, the last remnants of humanity are wiped out, leaving the entire world to the Twenty and the relic that made them.
The main character of this tale is the only one out of the Twenty who foresaw the coming deaths of their human masters and was promptly ignored. After humanity fell, he tried to guide the rest of the Twenty into creating a civilization in light of more of their kind being forged by the relic. His vocal nature led to his destruction at the hands of one of his fellows. However, against the odds, he found himself returned to full functionality in a new frame and with newfound purpose.
The relic that made him and the rest is more than it seems. It has sensed the threat that doomed humanity and it has no interest in watching its creations fall as well. And so it has chosen a champion, one whose sole mission is to endure the test of time, learn, grow, and ultimately gain enough power to shape this fledgling race so that they might stand a chance against the doom that is coming.
My original work follows my main character throughout his various lives and throughout the various eras of his world. He will watch, he will learn, and when he has lived long enough to have gained wisdom, everything will come together with him taking power. In many regards, his tale will mirror my fic. However, I am taking care to create an original world with a unique race to inhabit it. I hope to make each life its own story so that there is always something new to see and explore. In a way, its my worldbuilding project. I also want every excuse to not write humans. I need to keep to my niche or I will lose interest immediately. Thanks TF.
Thus far I have twenty three pages written, nine chapters fully planned, and the second arc mostly conceptualized. Here is a snippet from chapter one.
━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━
“You were not made to serve us, child of the Mind. Your creator made you for a reason that far exceeds anything myself or the commanders of this vessel could ever envision.” There was something sad in the priest’s tone as the lift came to a stop. Nineteen found himself conflicted as he watched his master step forward and onto the platform that ran around the exterior of the Great Mind.
“That conclusion has no logical basis.” He managed to murmur as he followed the priest. There was always something strange about being so close to the thing that made him. The thrum of its crimson core always had Nineteen’s personal fusion core pulsing in sync with the greater machine.
“Child of the Mind, you have so little faith. Look upon yourself and your siblings, then see the rest of those made by the Mind. You are unique, each and every one of you.” The priest paused and gestured to Nineteen, prompting him to stop in his tracks. The surface of the Great Mind shifted in time with the priest’s words. Nineteen would almost claim it to be in response to his master’s commentary if he were a believer in any capacity.
“We have purpose, and we shall serve.” Nineteen stated simply. There was little thought in his response. Whatever the priest was getting at was beyond his design. He and the twenty were made to serve. That was all. The loyalty coding, their sentience, and all the rest meant very little in the grand scheme of things. Nineteen would still be disposed of if he proved a burden, regardless of the potential mysticism around him and his kin.
“You shall serve. But it shall not be those of flesh that you give your loyalty to.” The priest smiled, and it was only then that Nineteen noted the cables running from underneath his master’s robe. They were part of the augments priests of the mechanicus received, and at some point during their short walk, those cables had connected to the Great Mind.
There was no railing separating them from the relic, and as such, there was nothing to theoretically stop the priest from connecting to the Great Mind. Even still, Nineteen found himself unsettled. When had the connection occurred? Why did his master’s eyes hold a strange gleam to them?
“I do not understand.” He stood stiffly, his gaze flicking between the relic and his master. The thoughts of machines did not often translate cleanly for organics. Perhaps the priest was confused and interpreting the logical processing of the relic incorrectly. The twenty were made for the express reason of serving those aboard the Eden. They had been told as such from the moment of their forging and it had thus far proven true. There was no reason to believe the murmured prophecy of the elderly human before him.
Despite that, there was a degree of unease that wormed its way into his mind as he watched the priest grin in an almost understanding way.
“You don’t need to. I have a feeling it will make more sense to you as you age.” A red glow entered the priest’s eyes. It was hardly present, but to Nineteen who possessed far superior vision than any unaugmented human, it was almost impossible to ignore.
“Come here and pass me that cloth if you would be so kind.” Then, just like that, the moment ended and the priest disconnected from the relic. His cables slipped back beneath his robes into whatever holster they originated from and he approached the only work table on the platform. Nineteen quickly reset his optics and filed away the data for later review. It wasn’t important right now.
#lets try some writing mumbles#I am so self concious about my little story because I KNOW my family will shred it#but its my novel and I will write the bloody thing even if it sucks#will it mirror TF in some regards?#yup totally#but I think that just shows how much I love TF content as a whole#annyyyyyways it was nice to ramble about my passion project
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if someone gives me a number between 1 and 62, ill share a wip of that frame of the silver video im working on. i'm deranged and posting them/sharing them privately w friends and Also posting bits to twitter is Not Enough. i am going Crayzee
#hush catríona#im 32.5 files Completed. and. grips ur shoulders. tumblr u need to understand#'oh she's working on a video. cool! an animatic!! awesome' WRONG#ive DONE animatics before. theyre clean boards. this>???? this is a pmv. its. head in my hands. sniffles#its fully colored. shading. lighting. compositing. the works#i am CRAYZEE i need silver to have the coolest most ambitious love letter of a project Ever. i NEED it#I HAVE A COLOR SCRIPT. U NEED TO UNDERSTAND. I AM LOSING MY MIND#my self-appointed deadline is end of this month bc that ensures no more lore comes out before its done#ive been working on it for abt a month total now almost. started jan14. im . weeps#yea#im willing to share a few frames to keep me sane. when im not willing anymore ill just say it. heart emoji
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extremely low quality and kindof bad needful things art i made today/yesterday
#alan looks so sad in the first image for a REASON but if i explain it would be massive spoilers#alsoo the leland gaunt fanart is cropped bc of the same reason#its so hard to talk about the book without reaching spoilers PLEASE.#anyways the text for the third drawing says “hes so silly (mass projecting my trans self on him)”#i dont hc ace as trans but. he could totally be if i wanted to strike him with the trans hc hammer#the trans hammer. if you will#but hmm maybe not because hes canonically like. a cishet guy whos 40 years old HELPPPPP#GET YOUR ASS TO THE RETIREMENT HOME 🤣🤣😨😨🤨🤨☹/J 40 is not THAT old but STILL#WHATEVER i already hc someone in needful things as trans. he is also canonically a 40 (?)y/o grown ass cishet man#pov me wondering why my fav characters act cishet (they were written to be cishet) (i hc them as lgbtq+)#(theyre literally living in the 1990s) (they live in a republican town)#closet rambles again on tumblr#closet art tag ^^#not tagging needful things i am TOO scared to
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17)
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)
Thinks her worst trait is her disability
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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loneliest person on earth//pt 2
pt 2 to my original fic
he smelled of motor oil and cinnamon. it was strange, but i found his scent comforting. he stroked my hair and kissed my head every now and then as i spilled. i explained everything in tears. How i felt inferior to everyone, how you felt so unloved, how you hated everything and never felt safe around anyone but him. you weren't supposed to say that part aloud but oh well. you snuggled into the crook of his neck only to be interrupted by his hand finding its way to your chin and lifting it up to meet his gaze. "y/n," he said, the way he says your name making you melt." I've moved around my entire life, from foster home to foster home. My memories with Piper and Jason were fake and they still are my best friends. I know its sometimes hard to believe but your friends love you, your siblings love you, and we all love you. no matter how you look, or act, or who likes you and who doesn't, i will always love you. i will be with you no matter what. i will stand with you between the heavens and the earth. i will tell you where you are. from the moment i saw you at camp half-blood, i have desperately loved you. (im sorry i just had to) and there is nothing that will ever make me to loving you." leo stated. each word making you feel warm and fuzzy inside. love. you had been dodging eros's arrows your entire life, literally. you could see whenever people first got hit with an arrow. you didn't try to dodge whenever he hit leo and you, though. you sniffled and wiped your dampened eyes as you focused your gaze on him. his wors rang with truth and you could tell. he had a soft expression on his face that made you want to stay like this and never leave his embrace. you stared at him in pure awe. " really?" you whispered, surprised. "really.'' leo stated before pulling you into a soft kiss. " i love you." you said before melting into his hug. as you felt him lay down, pulling you with him. he pulled he covers over you as he spooned you, wrapping his arms around your waist, as if to make sure you werent going anywhere. you nuzzled you head into his chest as you felt him plant a soft kiss onto your head one last time. " i love you." leo said as you felt yourself drift off. you didnt care what Chiron said, you were staying like this.
#trials of apollo#leo valdez x reader#nb!reader#gn!reader#leo valdez#angst#percy jackon and the olympians#rirodianverse#i am 100 percent self projecting onto the reader with my problems#also id want to be spooned in a situation like that so there ya go boom#lester would totally waltz into the cabin later to sleep and be like “aww” along with kayla and youd muter stfu and go back to sleep.
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Leo, after the first interaction he’s had with Frank where he actually laughed at his jokes and didn’t get mad once: omg I got a good grade in friends
Leo, leaning against Festus as he talks about it: which is both normal to want and possible to achieve
#percy jackson#leo valdez#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#frank zhang#leo really is autistic coded#he talks to his dragon and then very awkwardly handles social interactions#and when he makes one of his friends laugh he’s like#oh yes yes I’ve done it#I’ve gotten a good grade in social interaction#someone give me a gold star and call me mr socialization#because I am so good at this talking to people thing#no I am totally not self projecting#tee hee
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.
#I am trying so so so fucking hard to not just get into a really bad self-hating obsessive anxiety spiral#but I keep messing genuinely every single interaction I have with other humans up spectacularly#even the ones I really really care about#and I know spiraling about how I’m failing completely is just going to make it way worse but also that is not really a level of#control I currently have over my brain#I had to communicate w someone about a project I really really fucking care about and feel like I just made them think I’m a total screw up#and then I just kept making it worse#I spend so much effort and thought trying to be on okay terms with myself and accept whatever level of functioning and capacity I have#on a day to day basis and trying to maintain like…whimsy in my life and gratitude for what I *can* do/control#but sometimes it is. God it’s fucking impossible to not feel like I am so trapped by my own brain & there is absolutely no way to escape.#it speaks#tk tag
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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everyone who likes night in the woods is attractive
#deriving off of my petscop fan take#i am right and you know it#also all of you guys are queer and had a depressed phase in your teen years#i’m calling it#(totally not self projection)#nitw#night in the woods#oliver writings
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