#nmt fanfic

[weltato]

So the Dehumanisation > My Home, My Saviour, My Firefighter > Punishment > fic I have yet to finish writing pipeline is still going strong in my brain today and I remembered the Parks & Rec fight moment (yk the one, the meme one, that one) and uh-

It turned into this-

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Team Starkid: [to Wel, Lilac, Emma, Melissa, Bill, and the Fandom, who are gathered around a Traumatized Paul] So... who broke him? [Nobody says a word] We're not mad. We just want to know.

Emma: I did. I broke-

Starkid: No, no you didn't. Wel?

Wel: Don't look at me. Look at Lilac.

Lilac: What? I didn't break him.

Wel: Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know he was broken?

Lilac: Because he's crying on the ground right in front of us and he's broken.

Wel: [leans in on her] Suspicious.

Lilac: No, it's not-

The Fandom: If it matters - probably not - but Melissa was the last character to hurt him.

Melissa: Liar! I don't even like dogs!

The Fandom: Oh, really? Then what were you doing with him in your flat?

Melissa: I only hurt disgusting dogs and Paul is more of a cat; everyone knows that, Fandom!

Emma: Ok, ok! Let’s not fight! I broke him, let me look after him, Starkid!

Starkid: No! Who broke him??!

Lilac: [looks at Bill, then at Team Starkid] Starkid...Bill's been awfully quiet.

Bill: REALLY??

Lilac: Yeah! Really.

Bill: Oh, my God! [everyone starts arguing at one another except Team Starkid]

Team Starkid: [to the crew inside their office] We broke him first. He was just an ordinary guy, so we saw fit to traumatize him. We predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a Wiggly doll on a stick. [turns to look at the collective group as they continue to argue, then looks back] Good. It was getting a little too fluffy around here.

Also a funny little picture I drew on my phone (full image under the cut)

I based the little Lilac drawing on her pfp

[lilacthebooklover]

'Because that's Duke's handwriting on the page: the same loopy scrawl that dances across each of his forms and documents. It's the shining midnight blue of a fountain pen someone he can't recall gifted to him for Christmas, the solid leather case he picked out on a whim whilst shopping, that muddy stain of spilt coffee after a long night splashed across the familiar lined pages. This is his diary.

And yet, Duke can't remember writing a single word inside of it.

Or: Every once in a while, Duke decides to make an entry in his diary. And every single time, Miss Holloway is left to deal with the fallout.'

(hey so what if i cooked)

[m0th-h]

My thoughts on the Hatchetfield Jon Matteson family tree (including some other headcanons):

Paul and Gary are brothers (twins possibly)

Gary is Richie's dad

Paul and Richie ARE close, Richie stays with Paul when Gary is too busy with a case

Ok this one is a bit iffy, so feel free to disregard it, but Roman could be Gary and Paul's father (Separate mother from Linda, but they have the same mother)

which like- think of the implications

Boy Jerry is Paul and Gary's cousin

No one really talks to him

Stopwatch (Daniel) is Richie's twin

Paul does not know that Daniel has powers, nor does he know where all this money keeps coming from

Secretary of defense is a distant cousin to Paul and Gary

Trevor and Richie are canonical brothers!!

Trevor is the older brother to the twins

Trevor was held back a grade, and that's why we still see him in npmd even though Richie is a senior

Now, for funzies, let's try to add Wiggly to the mix:

So, obviously, they are in no way blood related

But Wiggly is a little shit and likes to fuck with people

I think he'd start with Paul first, forcing Paul to interact with him

I think he'd gind it fun to see some normal ass guy completely resistant to him

He'd just bug Paul until Paul finally caves and responds to him regularly, deciding it's better than drawing out Wiggly's annoyance

It gets to the point where he makes Paul congratulate him every time he overthrows a Earth

Paul is not a fan.

I can't see Wiggly interacting with any of the others

Maybe Richie, but that's mainly just to scare the shit out of him

Wiggly would more or less leave this Paul's world alone, keeping his brothers away too

This is his Paul. They can have the other ones

[pastriibunz]

Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Hatchetfield Series - Team StarKid Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Paul Matthews & Original Character(s), Emma Perkins & Original Character(s), Bill Woodward & Original Character(s), Charlotte Sweetly & Original Character(s), Ted Spankoffski & Original Character(s), Max Jägerman & Original Character(s), Stephanie Lauter & Original Character(s), Peter Spankoffski & Original Character(s), Grace Chasity & Original Character(s), so much more that im not tagging Characters: Kai Drew, Paul Matthews, Emma Perkins, Paul Matthews 23, Emma Perkins Android, Bill Woodward, Alice Woodward, Charlotte Sweetly, Peter Spankoffski, Grace Chasity, Stephanie Lauter, Max Jägerman, Jason Jepson, Kyle Clauger, Boy Jerry (Hatchetfield), Girl Jeri (Hatchetfield), Miss Holloway (Hatchetfield), Frank Pricely, Wiggly | Wiggog Y'rath, Nibbly | Nibblenephim, Tinky | T'noy Karaxis, Blinky | Bliklotep, Pokey | Pokotho, Melissa (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Noah (Hatchetfield), Lumber-Axe (Hatchetfield), theyre all in there i prommy Additional Tags: Kai is fucked up, Nightmare Time: Hey Melissa!, Nightmare Time Episode 3: Forever & Always, Nightmare Time Episode 2: Watcher World, Nightmare Time 2: Abstinence Camp, Original Character(s), Canon Rewrite, but also some original plots, there is overarching lore, y might wanna get out a notebook tbh, Identity Issues, Cannibalism, Body Horror, Invasion of Privacy, Time Loop, Kidnapping, ?? i think???, i wasn't lying shit gets real, Screenplay/Script Format, she goes through the horrors, a bit too much, Kai Drew is the lords' silly little gal and she fucking hates it, Angst, So much angst, Fluff, In the Beginning, but its mostly angst im so sorry, Nightmare Time Spoilers, I suppose, why isnt there just a general tag for nmt Series: Part 2 of Kai In Hatchetfield - Main Series Summary:

Summary: A 10 part/episode miniseries revolving around Kai’s misadventures in Hatchetfield! Follow Kai’s goofy hijinks as she deals with everything from robots to cat loving kidnappers! Some episodes are based off of episodes from Team Starkid’s series “Nightmare Time” and some episodes are original works by yours truly (with prompts/plot outlines by local-soda-can on tumblr)!

Hey everyone !! I uploaded Nightmare Kai-me to Ao3 if anyone prefers reading that way :]

pleaaase rb for reach !! i really want ppl to experience nmk

[amethystunarmed]

What Do You Say?

Word Count: 1753 AO3 Part 1 Written for Hatchetfield Rarepair Week Day 3: Memories Duke and Ted work on the case to get Ted custody of Peter. Duke gets a very normal migraine and Ted has a very normal reaction.

“I got your abomination of a drink,” Ted tells him. He’s only twenty minutes late to their meeting, which is honestly a record for him. Duke has started scheduling everything at least a half hour before he actually intends on starting. “Why on earth you need to add four sugars to a fucking white chocolate mocha, I’ll never understand.” Ted continues, taking a swig from what Duke hopes is his own cup. “Fair warning, it’s from Beanie’s, so it probably sucks.”

He places the cup in front of Duke, and falls into the chair for his clients on the other side of the desk. Ted says “Nothing can replace Miss Retro’s,” just as Duke picks up the cup and says, “Thanks darlin’.”

And something in Duke’s brain snaps.

Static. 

It almost makes you forget about all that.

It’s all static. 

It feels nice to be the hero, for once. 

Forget.

Miss Holloway had a good run. 

Forget, Douglas Keane. 

That’s not fair.

F O R G E T.

I couldn’t forget you, even if I tried. 

He hasn’t forgotten anything.

I’m trying to say good-bye.  

There is nothing to remember.

Can I?

So then why does it hurt so goddamn bad. 

When he next becomes aware of something other than the splitting pain searing his skull, he realizes he is no longer sitting in his chair. There is a steady hum of noise in the room. He’s on the ground, on his hands and knees. They’re warm and distantly achy. He realizes he is sitting in a puddle of hot coffee, that he must have spilled it when the migraine hit. The bizarre flare of pain recedes as quickly as it struck, just like they always do. With the migraine gone, Duke is able to parse out that the stream of noise beside him is Ted cursing.

“Oh fuck, oh shit, what the fuck, come on, man-”

“I’m fine,” Duke interrupts, voice sore. He pushes back on his hands so he can sit against his desk. The pain may have already faded, but the migraine has left him disoriented and breathless. They don’t happen often, but they leave him off-kilter. Sometimes he feels out of it for days after a bad one.

And this, this was a bad one.

“No you fucking aren’t!” Ted yells, voice squeaky with panic, “You just had like, a seizure or something. Have you had one before? We need to call 911-”

Ted pulls his phone out of his pocket like a man on a mission and Duke can’t believe he seems to be trapped in some weird temporal flux that makes Ted Spankoffski give a shit about other people. And, despite how much he would love to encourage this odd change in behavior, he  really doesn't want to go to the hospital. “Ted. It's really, really fine. It wasn't a seizure.” Ted glares at him, clearly doubtful. Duke bites his lip. “I get... Migraines.”

“Dude, that was not a migraine. You fell to your hands and knees and started screaming.” 

“That happens sometimes.” 

Ted gapes at him like he has absolutely lost his mind, and Duke supposes that, in a way, he has. 

He swallows. He doesn't like talking about it. He doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business. Right now, only three people know about his episodes: his general physician, Miss Holiday, and Duke himself. But most people haven’t seen him collapse on the ground and go nonresponsive. Most people haven’t seen the worst episode he’s ever had in person.

Ted apparently takes Duke’s silence as a sign of something further being wrong, because he unlocks his phone. “Fuck this, I’m calling an ambulance.” Duke sees Ted dial “9” and the thought of seeing an ambulance makes the static swell in his brain. 

He reaches out and places a hand over Ted’s phone. “Really, I’m fine. It’s already passed.”

Ted gives him a look of blatant disbelief.

“Look,” Duke says, “I...” He quickly thinks of a half-lie, something that will explain without going into the empty hole that Miss Holloway has left in his life, about the debilitating grief he can barely feel for a woman he hardly remembers. “I was... in an accident, a while ago. My doctor knows about these attacks, and I have been checked out for them, okay? I’m fine. That was just... a bad one.” 

“Okay...” Ted says, sounding like he isn’t okay at all. “...Are you sure we shouldn’t call someone?” He flips his phone anxiously in his hand. He has that panicked look, the same one he got right before asking Duke for help all those weeks ago. And suddenly Duke realizes he is missing something. Something important.

“Ted...” Duke says slowly. He has a feeling that if he gets this wrong, whatever moment is developing will crumble like sand. “Is something else going on here?”

“Psh, no,” Ted scoffs, “You must have hit your head when you fell.” He flips his phone quicker. He reminds Duke of the cagey high schoolers he is called to help, the ones who think they are too cool to show actual emotions. It almost makes Duke grin.

“You know, it’s fine if it scared you,” Duke reassures him, “Especially if you haven’t witnessed a medical emergency like that before.” 

Ted barks out a startled laugh. “It’s kind of the exact opposite.”

Duke frowns at him, any amusement he was feeling rapidly evaporating. “What does that mean?”

Ted sighs. He tucks his phone in his pocket and leans back on his hands. There is something intimate, the two of them sitting on the floor beside Duke’s desk. It makes Duke lean in, like he is privy to something special. But still, he is not prepared for the words that come out of Ted’s mouth.

“Peter had a seizure. Came over for dinner and we ended up spending the night in the ER. Apparently our parents didn't have time to pick up his insulin refill and he didn't want to 'worry me.’” He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that didn't work. Fucking moron.” His voice is calm, but he brings his knees to his chest and hugs them, tightly. Duke can see the tension in his arms. “I thought he was dying.” The unspoken I thought you were dying, hangs in the air. “I thought my parents had finally killed him.” Ted chuckles, like that can disarm the absolute bomb he just dropped. “But at least he didn’t have to go to Abstinence Camp? So that’s something. We both missed out on the Honey Festival though, so, you win some, you lose some.”

It’s supposed to be a joke. An out Duke can take to make light of the situation. Duke doesn’t take it. He can’t imagine just continuing and making light of this situation, like it was something normal, a wild weekend that could be mocked. 

Duke could have passed their room in St. Damien’s when he went looking for Miss Holloway’s body in the morgue.

So instead, Duke doesn’t say anything. It’s a helpful trick he has learned over the years, to just let a silence be. He reaches up and grabs some napkins from the drink tray. He begins mopping up the coffee he knocked over, and lets Ted sit.

(Besides, he doesn’t know what he would say anyways.)

“Our parents... They're not bad people. They're just distant.” Ted continues after a few minutes, almost defensively. It feels involuntary, as innate a response as shivering in the cold. Duke wonders how often he's told this lie, that he truly believes it. “So for an independent kid like me, it was fine, you know? I took care of myself when I needed to.” 

And Duke has words to say about that, has heard plenty of hurt kids say the same thing, but Ted just plows through before he can get a word in. “But Peter... Peter isn't the kind of kid you can half-ass. He's too fucking good to die because my fucking parents can't bother to drive to the pharmacy. He needs someone who can actually take care of him.” Ted laughs bitterly and gives Duke a self-deprecating smile. “Guess he really inherited the Spankoffski luck if he's stuck with me.”

“I think he's plenty lucky,” Duke says without thinking. He means it though. Peter is lucky to have someone like Ted looking out for him.

Ted blinks at him, seeming utterly dumbstruck. He blushes, a bit, and isn’t that a wonder. Ted Spankoffski. Blushing. He clears his throat. “Well, you'd be about the only one.” 

Duke smiles at him. “Let's get back to work so you can show the rest of Hatchetfield then, huh?” With the information Ted just gave him about Peter’s health, Duke figures they would have a pretty solid case for medical neglect. If Peter was taken to the children’s ward, Duke may be able to have Becky Barnes come in as a witness. She has always been a fantastic resource for him in past cases-

“Oh no,” Ted says, interrupting Duke's train of thought. He clambers to his feet, and holds out a hand to help Duke up. “You are going to take a fucking break, that’s what is about to happen!” 

Duke blinks at him, even as he takes Ted’s hand. “Ted, I told, you, I’m fine-”

“Can it,” Ted interjects, and pokes his finger at Duke’s chest. “We’re not fucking up my little brother’s life because you were too out of it to file the proper paperwork. We’re stopping until I’m sure you’re not about to keel over.” 

And just a few weeks ago, Duke would have been annoyed. But somewhere along the line, Duke has realized that Ted is physically incapable of being emotionally vulnerable, even about his brother who he so clearly cares for. Most of his worrying about Peter comes out in complaints and bitching. And Duke thinks that, maybe this is just Ted’s version of caring.

He finds himself oddly touched. 

Duke feels a fond little smile creep onto his face. “Sure,” he says, “Seems like we need to pick up more coffee anyways.”

Ted looks down at the puddle of coffee-soaked napkins at Duke's feet.

“To be honest, this is probably for the best. I think both our drinks had spit in them. The baristas at Beanie's do not like me.”

And, for a brief, impossible moment, Duke finds himself wondering why.

“I mean, the crabby one is not NEARLY hot enough to be as mean as she is.”

Ah. Right.

[nerdyblog8]

Decided to drop this! (without any anncoment whatsoever. Yay.)

Summary:

Paul Matthews just wants a normal life. Unfortunately, Hatchetfield has unanimously voted against that plan.

This is both my first fic on AO3 and my first Hatchetfield fic, so feedback would be appreciated! 

While chapter one ended up very Paulkins heavy, I plan for the next few chapters to include more of Richie and his dynamic with the others, especially Emma. This also kinda depends on my (admittedly haphazard but I tried) Jon Matterson character family tree! So maybe check that out? (Also Wallace is the gov. agent in Black Friday. He has one scene.)

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Hatchetfield Series - Team StarKid Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Richie Lipschitz & Paul Matthews, Ruth Fleming & Max Jägerman & Stephanie Lauter & Richie Lipschitz & Peter Spankoffski, Richie Lipschitz & Trevor (Nerdy Prudes Must Die), Daniel | Stopwatch & Richie Lipschitz, Daniel | Stopwatch & Trevor (Nerdy Prudes Must Die), Daniel | Stopwatch & Richie Lipschitz & Trevor (Nerdy Prudes Must Die), Grace Chasity & Ruth Fleming & Max Jägerman & Stephanie Lauter & Richie Lipschitz &Peter Spankoffski, Max Jägerman & Stephanie Lauter, (Steph tells Max to get his shit together basically), Ted Spankoffski/Charlotte Sweetly, Peter Spankoffski & Ted Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter/Peter Spankoffski, Alice Woodward & Bill Woodward, Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins, Lex Foster/Ethan Green, Hannah Foster & Webby (Hatchetfield) Characters: Richie Lipschitz, Paul Matthews, Daniel | Stopwatch (Hatchetfield), Trevor (Nerdy Prudes Must Die), Ruth Fleming, Peter Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter, Solomon Lauter, Karen Chasity, Webby (Hatchetfield), Emma Perkins, Tim Houston, Tom Houston, Bill Woodward, Bill Woodward's Ex Wife, Alice Woodward, Charlotte Sweetly, Ted Spankoffski, Mr. Davidson (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Lex Foster, Hannah Foster (Hatchetfield), Deb (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Max Jägerman, Max Jägerman's Father, Grace Chasity, Miss Tessburger (Hatchetfield), Miss Mulberry (Hatchetfield), Ziggs (Hatchetfield), Sam Sweetly, Ethan Green, Sophia | Spitfire (Hatchetfield), Henry Hidgens, Kyle Clauger, Jason Jepson, Brooke (Hatchetfield), Brenda (Hatchetfield), Frank Pricely, Stacy (Hatchetfield), Pamela Foster, Becky Barnes (Hatchetfield) Additional Tags: Max Jägerman Lives, Bad Parent Max Jägerman's Father, Minor Grace Chasity/Max Jägerman, Paul Matthews is Richie Lipschitz's Uncle, Max Jägerman Being an Asshole, (he's is not let off the hook easily), Redemption, Divorce, Apologies, Therapy, Extramarital Affairs, Ted actually has a normal time and doesn't encounter and eldritch horrors, Fuck Clivesdale (Hatchetfield), Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, Charlotte Sweetly is Ruth Fleming's Aunt, Max used to be a theatre kid, Abuse Summary:

A fic mainly focused on Richie Lipschitz and some other nerdy prudes and how they learned to love to live. (I was not able to include all the tags so I will be adding trigger warnings in the chapter summary.

[rockrosethistle]

written by and for people obsessed with the underlying tragedy in Abstinence Camp and the idea that, if only for a moment, the Jerries were a family

[daylightisviolent]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hannah Foster & Daniel | Stopwatch (Hatchetfield) & Sophia | Spitfire (Hatchetfield), Daniel | Stopwatch & Sophia | Spitfire (Hatchetfield), Hannah Foster & Sophia | Spitfire (Hatchetfield) Characters: Sophia | Spitfire (Hatchetfield), Daniel | Stopwatch (Hatchetfield), Hannah Foster (Hatchetfield), Douglas "Duke" Keane (mentioned), Original Nonbinary Character (Mentioned) Additional Tags: Nightmare Time 2: Yellow Jacket, Post-canon (sort of), Hannah and Lex haven't left Hatchetfield, Trauma, Mentions of Violence, Kids being able to be kids!!, That's what they deserve!, Popsicles, Some angst, Post-Possession, mentions of mind control, Fluff, Autistic Hannah Foster, Sophia has the best friends in the world and their names are Hannah and Daniel Summary:

Sophia’s skin felt hot as the match bell rang to announce her victory. Too hot.

aka: the primary colour trio having post-match popsicles

[paranormaltheatrekid]

Ok I still wanted to advertise this because I’m proud of it but TW: this contains suicide. Do not click on this link if you don’t want to read that. I completely understand.

[weltato]

Thanks Word :/

Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri are now and forever collectively known as Children Jerry in my brain :)

[caktusjuice-draws]

CHAPTER TWO!

This chapter is super canon compliant but has several different scenes interspersed, as well as some changed dialogue.

I am excited that I get to start working on canon divergent chapters now and really get into Ted and Paul.

Oh, you write fix-it fics? That's cute. I am here to break them more.

THIS FIC IS NOT FOR MINORS! IF I FIND OUT YOU ARE A MINOR AND YOU ARE READING THIS FIC I WILL BLOCK YOU SO FAST YOUR HEAD WILL SPIN!

[orangeslikesbread]

Hatchetfield/SPN crossover fic !!!

[pastriibunz]

NIGHTMARE KAI-ME SEASON ONE, EPISODE ONE: HEY, MELISSA!

Episode Length: 30-45 minutes

Theme: meow meow meow meow - meow mix cat food

Summary: Kai gets involved in a very bizarre adventure with her father’s bubbly coworker, Melissa. KAI GETS CATGIRL’D LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

EPISODE LINK:

NEXT EPISODE: S1, E2 - The Waylon Squatter

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!!

IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE, BUT SHES DONE!!!!!!

NMK EPISODE ONE BABYYYY

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU LIKED THIS!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!

[ihaveahyperfixationdad]

Okay here goes

[khathastrophe]

My biggest BL fan sin is that I don't hate Gram and Eugene being together actually