#nisa 34

[teneres]

"Erkeklerin, erkekliği gitti" bu sözün muhattabı olan "Müslüman" erkekler, tarihte bu sözü Moğollar ve Haçlılar gelip İslam beldelerini işgal ettiklerinde, cihada çıkmadıkları için duyuyorlardı. Günümüzde bu yerinde kalakalma durumu maalesef geçerliliğini korumakla beraber, ortada en az yerinde oturmak kadar büyük bir problem daha var ki o da hanımlarına yol göstermesi, örnek olması, İslam'ı öğretmesi ve Allah'a karşı sorumluluklarını hatırlatıp, bunun için gerektiği yerde kısıtlayıp, gerektiği yerde sert çıkması gerekirken, sadece kendi nefsi söz konusu olduğunda erkekliğini hatırlaması ve hanımına sert çıkmasıdır. Allah'ın hakkı ise maalesef akıllara gelen en son şey oluyor. Hatta bazen hiç gelmiyor. Çünkü kendisi de evli olunca karısının, kendi üzerine yüklenen haklarından bihaber. Türkiye toplumunda eskiden kalma bir deyim vardır "kadının şeyhi kocasıdır" Yani kadın evde çocuklarla, ev işleriyle meşgul olurken; camiiye giden, ilim meclislerine katılan erkek erkek eve geldiğinde öğrendiği bilgileri karısına (ve tabii çocuklarına) da öğretmekle mükelleftir. Ne hazin ki, sosyal medyada paylaşımları ve yorumlarıyla allame-i cihan olan erkeklerimizin aklına dönüp hanımına öğretmek, hatırlatmak, Rasulullah ﷺ'in "biriniz bir yanlış gördüğünde eli ile düzeltsin, gücü yetmezse dili ile düzeltsin" hadisi gelmiyor. Ancak yemeği eksik/yanlış yapmışsa, çocuklar çok ses yapıyorsa, veyahut başka şahsi bir ihtiyacı ve/veya rahatsız olduğu durum varsa evde (deyim yerindeyse) terör estiriyor. Peki ya Allah'ın hakkı çiğnendiğinde?

Bundan daha fenası ise, yapılan yanlışa göz yummak bir yana, kadının erkek tarafından cesaretlendirilmesi, o münker fiilleri işlerken bizzat erkeğin de buna eşlik etmesi. Evinin içinde birbirlerinin üzerine nasıl atladığını görmediğimiz kaç tane sakallı-çarşaflı/peçeli kaldı? Birbirlerine şuh bakışlar atan? Oturma odasından, yatak odasına, salonundan mutfağına kadar bütün evlerini seyr edebildiğimiz?

"Kadın, kocasının izni olmadıkça, evine hiç kimsenin girmesine izin veremez."

Buhari, Nikah 86; Müslim, Zekat 84

Yine Veda hutbesinde de Rasulullah ﷺ “… Sizin kadınlar üzerindeki bir hakkınız da evinize istemediğiniz kimseleri almamalarıdır.” buyuruyor.

Tirmizî, Rada 11; İbn Mace, Nikah, 3

Şimdi bu hesaba göre, kendisi arsızlık yaparak, yahut kocasının umursamazlığından cesaret alarak veyahutta bizatihi kocasının da onayıyla hatta O'nun hesabından evlerinin ve kendilerinin bu halini paylaşanlar, bu hadislerin tam olarak neresindeler? Bu soru kadına gibi görünse de aslında erkeğe. Rızanız olmadan evinize giremeyiz ama gözlerimiz girebilir ve günün her saatinde, istediğimiz yerde bakabiliriz? Tıpkı "tenimi göremezsiniz ama vücut hatlarımı görebilirsiniz" dercesine tenlerini göstermeyecek kadar uzun elbise giydiği halde, dar kalıp giyinenler (ve tabii sosyal medyada paylaşılan fenomen olanlar) gibi.

Hanımının suratına kocaman emoji koyup paylaşarak, neredeyse dudak dudağa öpüşecek kadar iç içe girmiş halde fotoğraf paylaşıp yine bu poza da çeşitli efektler ile güya gizlilik koyarak; Cuma'dan ağ atıp, Pazar günü toplayarak sözüm ona Cumartesi avlanma yasağına uyan Yahudiler gibi olduğunuzu hiç düşündünüz mü?

Kendinden çok takipçilerinin, karının psikolojisini ve zihin dünyasını bilmesi nasıl bir his? Eve giren çıkanı, reelde konuştuğu muhattap olduğu kimseleri (güya) kontrol et ama sosyal medyada kontrol etme?

Harcadığı parayı kuruşu kuruşuna hesab et ama işlediği haramları hesab etme?

Kendin için süslenmesini, güzel görünmesini arzu edip, teşvik et ama Allah için amellerini, kalbini, ruhunu süslemesini hiç umursama?

Nisa Suresi 34. Allah’ın bir kısmını (erkekleri) diğer bir kısmına (kadınlara) üstün kılması ve mallarından harcamaları nedeniyle erkekler, kadınlar üzerinde idare edicidir (kavvamdır)

“Kavvam” kelimesi etimolojik açıdan; “kame bi” bir şeyi üstlendiğinde onu yerine getirip, korumak, bir işin ya da malın sorumluluğunu üstlenip, maslahatı gözetmek ve velayet gibi anlamlara gelmektedir.

Aynı kökten gelen “kayyım” kelimesi, başkan ve işi yöneten manasındadır.

“Kayyımu’l-mer’e” tabiri kadının geçimini temin eden koca anlamında kullanılmaktadır.

İbn Manzur bu köke, koruma, ıslah etme ve bir şeyde sabit kalma anlamının yanında ayrıca bu kelimenin efendisinin hizmetinde kalkıp oturması sebebiyle cariye için de kullanıldığını ifade etmektedir.

|| İbn Manzur, Lisanu’l-Arab, 12/497-499

Abdullah ibn Ömer (radıyallahu anh)'tan rivayet edildiğine göre Rasulullah ﷺ şöyle buyurdu:

“Hepiniz çobansınız. Hepiniz güttüğünüz sürüden sorumlusunuz. Âmir memurlarının çobanıdır. Erkek ailesinin çobanıdır. Kadın da evinin ve çocuğunun çobanıdır. Netice itibariyle hepiniz çobansınız ve hepiniz idâre ettiklerinizden sorumlusunuz.”

Sahih-i Buhârî, Cum`a 11, İstikrâz 20, İtk 17, 19, Vesâyâ 9, Nikâh 81, 90, Ahkâm 1;

Sahih-i Muslim, İmâre 20;

İmam Ebû Dâvûd, İmâre 1, 13;

İmam Tirmizî, Cihâd 27

Tahrim Suresi 6. Ey iman edenler! Kendinizi ve ehlinizi, yakıtı insanlar ve taşlar olan ateşten koruyunuz! O ateşin başında, acımasız/sert, güçlü, Allah'ın kendilerine emrettiğine karşı gelmeyen, emrolunduklarını yerine getiren melekler vardır.

Amr İbn Kays şöyle dedi;

Muhakkak ki kadın, kıyamet günü Allah'ın huzurunda kocasıyla tartışıp şöyle der:

"Beni eğitmedi ve bana hiçbir şey öğretmedi! Onun yerine bana pazardan ekmek getirdi."

|| Tefsir es-Sem'ani, 5/475

[julaibib]

How can a Muslim woman best the best wife to her husband?

She is the one who it is thought will guard her chastity and her honour in the husband’s presence and absence, and be diligent with regard to both minor and major issues.

Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard” [an-Nisa 4:34]. a righteous woman always shows affection and respect for her husband, does not delay what he likes her to hasten to, nor hastens what he does not like her to do. When the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was asked about which woman is good, he said: “She who pleases her husband whenever he looks at her, obeys him whenever he orders her, and does not oppose him in herself and his property with what he dislikes.” [Ahmad and An-Nasaa’i]

Obedience is the first right that Islam acknowledges for the husband over his wife. She is required to obey him in everything unless he commands her to do an act of disobedience. The Prophet, , said: “No creature should be obeyed when it comes to disobeying the Creator.” one of the most overlooked characteristics. The first thing you can do in how to be a good Muslim wife to your husband is to give them respect and loyalty.

Men want to know that their wives respect them. In most Muslim households’ men are brought up as breadwinners and heads of the family. This is a fact whether you like it or not, and rearing your feminist head just does not help. To maintain a feminine look and avoid behaving like a man. A woman should know that her husband loves to see her in the house like the sun in the sky without any dark cloud of frowning covering her face, particularly if her husband returns home with a long face for a reason that has nothing to do with her.

There are certain chores we enjoy doing, and others that we hate. But, a good Muslim wife is one who stays on top of the household chores, even those she’d rather not do. Try to schedule a time each day to tackle the household chores so you stay on top of them, and nothing becomes overwhelming for you.

A man wants a partner that makes a home for him, with love and care and who is willing to look after him. 

It was said to ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her): Which type of woman is best?

She said: The one who does not know about saying bad things, and she is not crafty like men; her focus is on adorning herself for her husband and taking care of her family.

[lacikata]

Saat Merasa Berkorban; Cintamu Mulai Pudar.

"Cinta tak kenal pengorbanan, Kekasih, saat kau mulai merasa berkorban, saat itu cintamu mulai pudar." - Sujiwo Tejo

Ketimbang merasa berkorban, bagaimana jika pola pikir yang dibangun adalah memberi yang terbaik dalam rangka beribadah kepada Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala?

Usahanya sama, pola pikirnya berbeda.

Sebagaimana pesan dari Ust. Khalid Basalamah hafidzahullah yang disampaikan beliau dalam sebuah podcast, di mana beliau bahasakan hal ini kepada istrinya di awal menikah,

“Saya dan kamu adalah seorang pegawai di sebuah perusahaan bernama rumah tangga, pemilik rumah tangga ini adalah Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala. Saya pasti memiliki tugas dan kewajiban yang saya jalankan dan itu adalah hak kamu, begitu pun sebaliknya kamu memiliki kewajiban yang merupakan hak saya. Kita jalankan ini dengan baik karena Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala maka kita akan mendapat balasannya, pahalanya.

Demikian, sebuah pondasi pemahaman dahulu. Di mana sebenarnya kita ini sekarang sama-sama sedang menjalani prosesi mengejar pahala satu sama yang lain. Indah sekali rumah tangga itu apabila suami sibuk mencari pahala dari istri. Istri sibuk mencari pahala dari suami.

Detik per detiknya dari ucapan dan perbuatan, semuanya bagaimana membahagiakan pasangan. Sangat indah karena mereka mengejar pahala. Dalam sebuah hadis Bukhari disebutkan, memasukkan kegembiraan dalam hati seorang Muslim adalah amal yang paling Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala cintai, apalagi terhadap pasangan. Senyum dengan saudara Muslim yang lain adalah sedekah, apalagi terhadap pasangan. Padahal Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala sudah menggambarkan suami dan istri adalah pakaian satu sama yang lain. Pahami jika ini adalah ajang pahala. Jadikan ini kesempatan emas."

Bilamana keduanya sama-sama membangun pola pikir demikian, demi mengejar pahala dari Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala maka tidak akan ada yang merasa si paling berkorban satu sama lain dan tidak pula saling menuntut melainkan tumbuh kesadaran di antara masing-masing terhadap pasangannya.

Apabila seseorang sudah merasa berkorban maka tanpa sadar dirinya akan menagih empati dari orang lain. Berbeda halnya, apabila dasar yang dibangun adalah dalam rangka beribadah kepada Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala maka dirinya meyakini bahwa Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala yang akan membalasnya, dengan begitu sekalipun pasangannya tidak berbuat demikian, dirinya tetap on track memberi yang terbaik.

Dalam pembahasan yang lain bersama Ust. Muhammad Nuzul Dzikri hafidzahullah, yaitu membahas QS. An-Nisa': 128 tentang nusyuz dari sisi suami (suami yang zalim) berkebalikan dengan QS. An-Nisa': 34 tentang nusyuz dari sisi istri (istri yang durhaka).

"Dan jika seorang wanita khawatir akan nusyuz atau sikap tidak acuh dari suaminya maka tidak mengapa bagi keduanya mengadakan perdamaian yang sebenar-benarnya dan perdamaian itu lebih baik (bagi mereka) walaupun manusia itu menurut tabiatnya kikir. Dan jika kamu bergaul dengan istrimu secara baik dan memelihara dirimu (dari nusyuz dan sikap tidak acuh) maka sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kamu kerjakan."

Apabila seorang wanita khawatir ada nusyuz dari pihak suaminya, (nusyuz diartikan sebagai zalim/tidak memenuhi haknya) maka solusinya adalah islah, berdamai itu lebih baik. Tidak perlu mengikuti permainan setan sehingga jadi ribut, dsb. Tentu ini bukan hal yang mudah sebab jiwa manusia itu pada dasarnya kikir (sangat menuntut haknya dan suka lupa atau lalai terhadap hak orang lain). Dirinya bersemangat terhadap haknya namun apabila berkaitan dengan hak orang lain suka lupa atau tidak tertarik untuk totalitas dalam memenuhinya. Gaduh ketika terlambat gajian namun ingin dimengerti ketika terlambat 5 menit masuk kerja, misalnya.

Dengan tabiat manusia yang demikian maka islah seringkali gagal, titik temu dalam mencapai perdamaian, apalagi jika pihak lain sedang tidak ‘sehat’, yang emosinya sedang memuncak (bukan islah dengan pihak lain yang takwanya tinggi vs takwanya tinggi) maka jika dalam kondisi yang demikian yang dituntut bukan sekadar memenuhi hak orang lain namun juga harus rela melepas sebagian hak pribadi bahkan mungkin seluruhnya untuk sementara waktu. Dikatakan ulama ini berat bahkan sangat berat sebab istri harus rida haknya dikurangi atau dilepas.

Apalagi sudah menjadi tabiat manusia itu kikir maka dikatakan ulama seyogianya perlu berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk menghilangkan tabiat tersebut dan diganti dengan mental berusaha untuk menunaikan hak orang lain yang merupakan kewajiban diri sendiri dan siap melepas atau memangkas sebagian hak yang merupakan porsimu.

Itulah mengapa islah pahalanya sangat besar dan tidak semua orang mampu sebab untuk memenuhi hak orang lain sudah susah sekali apalagi sampai pada titik melepas hak pribadi. Dan penutup ayat ini, “Sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kamu kerjakan.”

Jika kalian ihsan (beribadah kepada-Nya seakan-akan kamu melihat-Nya dan jika tidak mampu hingga ke level itu maka beribadahlah dengan penuh keyakinan bahwa Dia melihatmu) sehingga ihsan bukan hanya sekadar berbuat baik namun berbuat baik di level tertinggi yaitu berbuat baik dengan keyakinan bahwa Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala sedang melihatmu dan jika ingin lebih maksimal lagi yaitu seakan-akan kamu melihat-Nya. Hanya yang sudah mampu beribadah hingga di level inilah yang juga dimampukan untuk islah dengan tulus sebab bagi seseorang yang hanya mengedepankan dirinya dan dia lupa bahwa Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala melihatnya maka tidak akan mampu.  

Begitu seseorang tahu, “Saya tinggalkan hak saya, saya lepaskan hak saya. Saya penuhi haknya demi tercapainya perdamaian, perbaikan hubungan dan Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala melihat saya dan semoga Dia rida dengan apa yang saya lakukan.” maka islah jauh lebih mudah sebab dirinya yakin Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala melihatnya, yakin Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala rida terhadap perbuatannya dan yakin Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala akan mengganjarnya dengan ganjaran yang lebih baik.

Dan apabila kalian ihsan dan bertakwa, menjalankan perintah-Nya, menjauhi larangan-Nya sesungguhnya Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala Maha Mengetahui secara detail bukan hanya secara global atau di permukaan saja. Untuk itu, dirinya akan tenang sebab tahu Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala melihat dan mengetahui secara detail zahir dan batinnya. Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala tahu saya melepas ini bukan tersebab saya takut dengannya atau saya lemah melainkan Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala telah berfirman, ”Perdamaian itu lebih baik.”

“Sesungguhnya nafsu itu selalu menyuruh pada kejahatan kecuali nafsu yang diberi rahmat oleh Tuhanku.” (QS. Yusuf: 53). Nafsu untuk ribut-ribut, ingin pisah ketika hak diambil atau tidak dihargai yang merupakan permainan setan ini memberikan pandangan bahwa inilah yang paling baik. Namun, Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala berfirman bahwa, ”Perdamaian itu lebih baik.”

Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala tahu motif islahmu itu apa, Dia akan rida dan mengganjar dengan kebaikan yang sangat besar. Jadi, masalah besar tidak terjadi islah bukan tersebab peliknya masalah namun akar penyebabnya adalah tabiat manusia yang kikir. Renungkan bahwa konflik dalam kehidupan, “Apakah tersebab masalahnya?” jawabannya tidak, namun tersebab manusianya entah diri sendiri atau pihak lain. Bukan besar kecilnya masalah melainkan ego, arogansi, nafsu, dsb.

Dan di ayat tersebut jelas, diawali permasalahan (seorang wanita khawatir apabila suaminya zalim), dijelaskan pula akar masalah (tabiat manusia yang kikir), lalu diberi solusi (tidak mengapa bagi keduanya mengadakan perdamaian yang sebenar-benarnya dan perdamaian itu lebih baik), ditutup dengan tauhid (Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kamu kerjakan) Allah, Al-Kabir yang mengetahui secara global dan detail.

Tidak akan menemukan titik temu atau bersepakat untuk islah dengan konsekuensi melepas sebagian atau seluruhnya hak pribadi apabila tauhid dalam diri seseorang lemah atau hanya sebatas teori. Dan sejatinya inilah ujian kejujuran. Sudahkah melibatkan tauhid kepada Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala dalam menghadapi lika-liku kehidupan berumah tangga?

[learning-islam-together]

The Verse of Abuse Or the Abused Verse Al-Qur’an 4:34 ~ https://quran.com/en/an-nisa/34-35

Riyad as-Salihin 278

Abu Hurairah (رَحْمَةُ الله عليه) reported:

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives".

[At-Tirmidhi, who categorized it as Hadith Hasan Sahih].

[farisjax]

What about the Qur'an allowing the beating of women by her husband ?

﷽

In Surah Nisa verse 34

Allah ﷻ says ;

And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺.2 But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.

The ill conduct includes ;

Disobeying husband in legitimate reasons for eg wear hijab etc. Talking to non mahrams with desire, being alone with non mahram, showing off her body to another man as you can see these days and rebellious against husband.

So Allah advises the man first to verbally tell her and if she stopped treat her rightly and do not overstep the boundary of Allah like still hurt her or likes.

If she didn't listen then abandon her presence in the house and have no relation with her as in yk but not outside of the house.

In brief - emotional punishment for her disobedience.

And if the matter worsens.

Allah ﷻ says hit her ( lightly) which neither harm her physically not mentally and not even leave a scar on her. Like the salaf ( pious predecessor) and scholars used to hit their wives if this situation arises with a thobe or siwak which is light and dont even feel on skin. Just to show I'm angry with you.

The Prophet (صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) never hit his wives in his entire life even though the verse was revealed to him and hus (صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) wives ( Aisha and Hafsah رضى الله عنه used to fight with him often verbally but he never hit them nor allowed his companions to hit them ).

As for beating her like man or punching her is haraam and will be severely dealt by Allah.

Nowadays people of desire say it in the Qur'an without understanding it and wallahi there are so many cases reported everyday of domestic abuse. May Allah protect us from such wild creatures.

And Allah knows best

[yonarida]

11 Agustus 2024 Pesan dari Bp. Zainal Abidin: Bagi calon istri, pelajari apa saja kewajiban seorang istri. Bagi calon suami, pelajari apa saja kewajiban seorang suami. -------- Jadi, apa saja kewajiban seorang istri? Dalam Islam, kewajiban seorang istri terhadap suaminya diatur oleh prinsip-prinsip yang bersumber dari Al-Qur'an dan Hadits. Beberapa kewajiban utama seorang istri menurut Islam:

Taat kepada Suami dalam Hal yang Makruf (Baik): -> Seorang istri diwajibkan untuk taat kepada suaminya selama perintah tersebut tidak bertentangan dengan ajaran Islam. Ini mencakup hal-hal seperti menjaga keharmonisan rumah tangga dan menghormati suaminya. -> Dalam Al-Qur'an, disebutkan, “Kaum laki-laki itu adalah pemimpin bagi kaum wanita, karena Allah telah melebihkan sebagian mereka (laki-laki) atas sebagian yang lain (wanita), dan karena mereka (laki-laki) telah menafkahkan sebagian dari harta mereka…” (QS. An-Nisa: 34). 2. Menjaga Kehormatan Diri dan Rumah Tangga: -> Istri harus menjaga kehormatan dirinya serta tidak membiarkan orang lain masuk ke dalam rumah tanpa seizin suami. Ini termasuk menjaga aib rumah tangga dan tidak mengumbar masalah rumah tangga ke luar. -> Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Sebaik-baik wanita adalah yang apabila engkau memandangnya, ia menyenangkanmu; jika engkau memerintahnya, ia mentaatimu; jika engkau bersumpah atasnya, ia menepati sumpahmu; dan jika engkau pergi, ia menjaga dirinya dan hartamu.” (HR. Abu Dawud). 3. Melayani Suami dengan Baik: -> Seorang istri dianjurkan untuk melayani suaminya dengan baik, termasuk dalam hal kebutuhan fisik, emosional, dan spiritualnya. -> Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Jika seorang istri menunaikan shalat lima waktu, berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan, menjaga kemaluannya, dan menaati suaminya, maka ia akan masuk surga dari pintu mana saja yang ia kehendaki." (HR. Ahmad). 4. Menjaga Harta Suami: -> Istri bertanggung jawab untuk menjaga dan mengelola harta suaminya dengan amanah. Hal ini mencakup menghindari pemborosan dan menggunakan harta sesuai dengan kebutuhan yang benar. -> Dalam Al-Qur'an, disebutkan, "Maka wanita-wanita yang shalih adalah yang taat kepada Allah lagi memelihara diri ketika suaminya tidak ada, oleh karena Allah telah memelihara (mereka)…" (QS. An-Nisa: 34). 5. Mendidik Anak dengan Nilai-Nilai Islam: -> Sebagai seorang ibu, istri juga memiliki kewajiban untuk mendidik anak-anaknya dengan nilai-nilai Islam dan membesarkan mereka dalam lingkungan yang Islami. 6. Memberi Dukungan/ Support: -> Istri juga diharapkan memberikan dukungan kepada suaminya dalam menghadapi masalah, serta berusaha untuk menciptakan suasana rumah tangga yang penuh kedamaian dan kasih sayang. Dukungan secara emosional (memberi ketentraman, menghiburnya), dukungan dalam beribadah (mendorong ketaatan kepada Allah, mengajak kepada kebaikan), membantu dalam urusan kehidupan sehari-hari (mengelola rumah tangga, menjaga harta suami), dukungan dalam karir dan pekerjaan (menyemangati dan memotivasi), menjaga keharmonisan dan kedamaian rumah tangga (menghindari konflik yang tidak perlu, memelihara kasih sayang).

Semua kewajiban ini dijalankan dengan dasar cinta, kasih sayang, dan saling menghormati dalam pernikahan, sebagaimana suami juga memiliki kewajiban untuk memperlakukan istri dengan baik, penuh kasih sayang, dan menghormati hak-hak istri sesuai dengan ajaran Islam.

[wrappedinamysteryy]

🌷Can a Husband take from his Wife’s Money❓🌷

by Asma bint Shameem 

A woman is NOT “obligated” to give anything of her salary or her

own money to her husband or contribute anything to support the household expenses. 

A woman’s money is hers. 

And no one has the right to it except her own self. 

That’s one of the basic rights that Islaam has given women, along with her right to inherit, own property, run her own business, vote, etc. 

And that’s what distinguishes Islaam from others religions. 

But if she does decide to contribute to the household expenses or anything else for that matter, out of the goodness of her heart, without any compulsion, then that would count as sadaqah on her behalf and a gesture of goodwill. 

And a means of rewards for her from Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala. 

That’s because it’s the MAN’s responsibility to provide for his wife and family. And NOT the wife’s. 

The MEN are supposed to support the wife financially and spend on them in the mahr and on their maintenance, food, shelter, clothing etc. 

🍃 Allaah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they *spend (to support them) from their means.*” [al-Nisa 4:34]. 

It’s an OBLIGATION placed on the husband by Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala Himself. 

🍃 Allaah says:

”the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mothers food and clothing on a reasonable basis. 

No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear.” [al-Baqarah 2:233]

🍃 And Allaah says to the MEN:

”And if they are pregnant, then spend on them till they deliver.” [al-Talaaq 65:6]

🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said in his Farewell Sermon: 

“Fear Allaah with regard to women, for they are your prisoners. 

You have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and they have become permissible to you by the word of Allaah, and they have the RIGHT to be FED and CLOTHED reasonably by you.“ (Muslim, 8/183).

Being supported financially by her husband is one of the BASIC RIGHTS of the wife.  

🍃 Muaawiyah ibn Haydah radhi Allaahu anhu said: 

“I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what is the right of the wife of any one of us over us? 

He said: That you should FEED her as you feed yourself and CLOTHE her as you clothe yourself, that you should not say to her May Allaah make your face ugly! and that you should not beat her.”

(Abu Dawood, 2/244; Ibn Maajah, 1850; Ahmad, 4/446).

🍃 Shaykh ibn al-‘Uthaymeen said:

“The husband is OBLIGED to spend upon his family, upon his wife and children, on a reasonable basis, even if the wife is rich.

Yet he has NO RIGHT to TAKE ANYTHING from her salary, not half, not more or less. 

The salary is HERS, so long as it was stipulated in the marriage contract that he should not prevent her from teaching and he agreed to that. 

So he does not have the right to take anything from her salary; it is HERS.“ [Sharh Riyadh as-Saliheen (6/143, 144)]

So if he’s obliged to SPEND on her, how can he take from her money?

🍃 The scholars said:

“The basic principle concerning any wealth the wife owns is that it belongs to HER and not to her husband, whether this wealth came into her possession by means of trade or business, or through inheritance, or as part of her mahr (dowry) or from the state. 

The husband does not have a share in any of that; rather it is her property and none of it is permissible for him unless she gives it to him willingly. 

If it were the case that the husband owned his wife’s wealth, then his wife’s entire estate when she died would go to the husband and no one else would have a share in it, and that does not happen according to the laws of Allaah. 

Based on that, the money that comes to this wife as assistance for her from the state belongs exclusively to her and it is not permissible for her husband to take control of it. 

It is not permissible for the husband to take anything from his wife’s wealth except what she allows. 

Allaah, may He be exalted, says:

“O you who believe! Eat not up your property among yourselves unjustly except it be a trade amongst you, by mutual consent” [an-Nisa 4:29]

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).” [an-Nisa 4:4]. 

We have discussed the evidence from the Quran and Sunnah and scholarly consensus that proves that the husband is obliged to spend on his wife according to his means; he does not have the right to force her to spend on her own maintenance even if she is rich, unless she agrees to that.” 

(Islamqa Fatwa # 163541)

And Allaah knows best.

[ayten-ali]

#KUR'AN DA #GEÇEN #MÜ'MİNLERİN 100 #ÖZELLİĞİ:

1. İnsanlar arasında adaletle hükmederler.

/ En’am-151.

2. #ALLAH’a asla şirk koşmazlar.

/ Furkan-68

3. Namuslarını (ırzlarını) korurlar.

/ Furkan-68

4. Hakkı bile bile gizlemezler.

/ Bakara-44

5. Namazlarını huşu içinde ve doğru olarak kılarlar.

/ Mü’minun 2,9

6. Anne ve babalarına “öf” bile demezler.

/ İsra-23

7. Boş şeylerden tümüyle yüz çevirirler.

/ Mü’minun -3

8. Mallarıyla ve canlarıyla cehd ederler/çabalarlar. Tevbe-5

9. Asla zanda bulunmazlar.

/ Casiye -24

10. Cahillerle asla tartışmazlar.

/ Furkan-63

11. Kınayıcının kınamasından korkmazlar.

/ Maide-54

12. Asla yalan söylemezler.

/ Mü’minun-8

13. Emanetlerine ihanet etmezler. / Bakara-177

14. Söz verdiklerinde sözünde dururlar. / Bakara-177

15. Zekâtlarını hakkıyla verirler. / Bakara-177

16. Yetimin hakkını asla yemezler. / Nisa-2

17. Yolda kalmışlara yardım ederler. Bakara-177

18. Kafirlere karşı sert, birbirlerine karşı merhametlidir. / Fetih-29

19. İnsanların kusurlarını affederler. / Al-i İmran-135

20. Yalnızca ALLAH’a dayanıp güvenirler. / Tevbe-20

21. (Savaş gerektiği zaman) Kâfirler ile ALLAH yolunda savaşırlar. A.imran-28

22. Darlıkta da bollukta da infak ederler. A.İmran-133

23. Kızdıkları zaman öfkelerini yenerler. A.İmran-133

24. Başkalarının ilahlarına sövmezler. En’am-108

25. Haksız yere bir cana kıymazlar. / En’am-151

26. ALLAH’ın ayetlerini az bir pahaya satmazlar. / Al-i İmran-199

27. Zinaya asla yaklaşmazlar. / Mü’minun -5

28. İnananlara ‘sen mü’min değilsin’ demezler. / Nisa-94

29. Rasullerden hiçbirini birinden ayırt etmezler. / Bakara-136

30. Yeryüzünde alçak gönüllü olarak yürürler. / Furkan-63

31. Ölçüyü ve tartıyı doğru olarak yaparlar. / En’am-52

32. Helal ve temiz olan şeylerden yerler. / Bakara-168

33. Asla yalan şahitlik yapmazlar. / Furkan-72

34. Dillerini eğip bükerek (geveliyerek) Allah adına yalan konuşmazlar. / Nisa-135

35. ALLAH’ın adı anıldığında kalpleri ürperirler. / Enfal-2

36. Yoksulluk yüzünden evlatlarını öldürmezler. / En’am-151

37. Yeminlerini hiçbir zaman bozmazlar. / Nahl-91

38. Adaklarını yerine getirirler. / İnsan-7

39. ALLAH’ın ahdini yerine getirirler, anlaşmayı bozmazlar. / Ra’d-20

40. Yakınlarına (akrabalarına) yardım ederler. / Bakara-177

41. Yolda kalmışlara ve hastalara yardım ederler. / Bakara-177

42. Yoksullara ve esir düşenlere yardım ederler. / Bakara-177

43. Zorda, darda ve savaş anlarında sabrederler. / Bakara-177

44. Verilen rızıktan yerli yerince harcarlar. / Enfal-3

45. Kuranı ağır ağır düşünerek okurlar. /Müzemmil /4

46. Dinde zorlama ve baskı yapmazlar./ Bakara/ 256

47. İnsanlara iyiyi emreder, kötülükten de alıkorlar. / Enfal-71

48. Açıklanınca hoşlarına gitmeyecek şeyleri sormazlar. / Maide-101

49. Yapacakları işlerde kendi aralarında danışırlar. / Şûra-38

50. Gerçekten felaha kavuşanlardır. / Mü’minun-1

51. Müminler ancak ALLAH'a kulluk eder, yalnız ondan yardım dilerler. (Fatiha/5)

52. ALLAH'tan korkup-sakınırlar, yasakladığı şeyleri yapmaktan çekinirler.

(Âl-i İmran/102)

53. Yalnızca ALLAH'a güvenirler. Ondan başka kimseden korkmazlar.

(Bakara/249)

54. ALLAH'a şükrederler. Darlıkta ya da bollukta üzülmez ya da böbürlenmezler.

(Bakara/172)

55. Kesin bilgiyle iman etmişlerdir. ALLAH'ın rızasını kazanmaya çalışırlar.

(Hucurat/15)

56. Kur'an'a kuvvetle bağlıdırlar. Tüm hareketlerini Kur'an'a göre düzenlerler. İnsanları Kur'an'a ile uyarırlar.

(A'raf/170)

57. ALLAH'ın her şeyi gören ve işiten olduğunu bilir, sürekli ALLAH'ı hatırda tutarlar.

(Âl-i İmran/191)

58. ALLAH karşısında acizliklerini bilirler. Mütevazidirler.

(Bakara/286)

59. Her şeyin ALLAH'tan olduğunu bilirler. Telaşa kapılmaz, serinkanlı ve tevekküllü davranırlar.

(Tevbe/51)

60. Asıl hedefleri ahireti kazanmaktır. Ancak dünya nimetlerinden de faydalanır, dünyayı yaşanabilir hale getirmek için çalışırlar.

(Nisa/74)

61. Sadece ALLAH'ı ve müminleri dost ve sırdaş edinirler.

(Maide/55-56)

62. Akıl sahibidirler. Sürekli dikkatli ve uyanıktırlar. Devamlı olarak müminlerin ve dinin lehine akılcı hizmetler yaparlar.

(Mümin/54)

63. İnkarcılara karşı büyük bir fikri mücadele verirler. Yılmadan, gevşemeden mücadelelerini sürdürürler.

(Enfal/39)

64. Hakkı söylemekten çekinmezler. İnsanlardan çekindiklerinden dolayı gerçeği açıklamaktan geri kalmazlar. Kınayıcıların kınamasından korkmazlar.

(Maide/54, 67)

65. ALLAH'ın dinini tebliğ ederler. Çeşitli biçimlerde insanları ALLAH'ın dinine davet ederler. (Nuh/5-9)

66. Baskıcı değillerdir. Merhametli ve yumuşak huyludurlar.

(Nahl/125)

67. Öfkelerine kapılmazlar, hoşgörülü ve bağışlayıcıdırlar.

(Âl-i İmran/134)

68. Güvenilir insanlardır. Son derece güçlü bir kişilik sergiler, etraflarına da güven telkin ederler.

(Duhan/17-18)

69. Onlar güzel ahlak sahibidirler. Kalem/4

70. Eşleriyle iyi geçinirler. Nisa/19

71. Zulümden ve öldürülmekten korkmazlar. Zorluklara katlanırlar.

(Ankebut/2-3,Tevbe/111)

72. İnkarcıların saldırı ve tuzaklarıyla karşılaşır, alaya alınırlar

[paralelni-univerzum]

U Kur’anu se spominje kako da:

1. Hodamo

“Ne hodi po zemlji nadmeno.” (El-Isra, 37)

“I ne idi zemljom nadmeno.” (Lukman, 18)

2. Jedemo i pijemo

“I jedite i pijte ali ne pretjerujte.” (El-A’raf, 31)

3. Govorimo

“ Reci robovima Mojim da govore samo lijepe riječi.” (El-Isra, 37)

“U govoru ne budi grlat.” (Lukman, 19)

4. Kako postupati u razilaženjima

“A ako se u nečemu ne slažete, obratite se Allahu i Poslaniku.” (En-Nisa, 59)

5. Kako da se ophodimo prema roditeljima

“Ne reci im ni ‘uh’” (El-Isra, 23)

“ Mi smo naredili čovjeku da bude poslušan roditeljima svojim.” (Lukman, 14)

6. Kako da se ophodimo prema ženama

“S njima lijepo živite!” (En-Nisa, 19)

7. Kako da se ophodimo prema drugima

“I ne uhodite jedni druge i ne ogovarajte jedni druge.” (El-Hudžurat, 12)

8. Kako da se ophodimo prema onome ko nas prezire

“Na zlo dobrim uzvrati, pa će ti dušmanin tvoj odjednom prisni prijatelj postati” (Fussilet, 34)

9. Kako da se ophodimo prema imetku drugih ljudi

“I ne prisvajajte međusobno imetke na nedozvoljen način.” (En-Nisa, 29)

10. Kako sačuvati dobra djela

“Ne kvarite svoju milostinju prigovaranjem i uvredama.” (El-Bekara, 264)

Ovo su samo neki primjeri kur’anskog odgoja ljudi, a kojih je jako mnogo u Allahovoj Knjizi. Zar ljudi ne bi bili sretni primjenom kur’anskih savjeta i načela?!

[zeynoos-world]

Erkekler kadınların koruyub kollayıcılarıdır ..💚♥️

\ Nisa 34\

#♥️💚

[annabawritersdream]

Children of Eönwë and Elenna (OCs): The Lady of Ithilien

[Since I don't know how many years LOI will cover yet, I am posting the faceclaims of the children up until year FoA 43— the year both their parents die. The adult versions of the surviving children will be featured in the sequel Estel i Hína]

Fionwë

FoA 25 (stillbirth; named posthumously)

Mírion

DOB: FoA 26

DOD:

First child of Eönwë and Elenna. He's his father's heir and his mother's pride and joy. He adores his parents and would give his life for them.

Fancast: Berkecan Akkaya (toddler/childhood)

Louis Partridge (teenage years/adulthood)

Éowyn ("Wyn")

DOB: FoA 27

DOD: FoA 44 (aged 17)

Eönwë and Elenna's second child and first daughter. Named after her maternal grandmother, she's lively, spunky and fun. She's obsessed with jewelry and, according to her siblings, she talks way too much. She's her father's darling and has a very complicated relationship with her mother.

Fancast: Ayda Acar (toddler); Grace May O' Leary (childhood); (teenage tears/early adulthood:

Boromir

DOB: FoA 29

DOD: FoA 35/36

Named after his uncle (the son of deceased Captain of the White Tower; check my Half-Human/Half-Elven OC profiles for reference), he's an adorable ray of sunshine.

Unfortunately, due to *things that happen to his mom*, he's very sickly and often bedridden. He and his younger brother Elarion adore one another (they're basically twins even though they're actually not) and will die on the same day. Natural causes? Coincidence? Mairon trying to undermine Eönwë in any possible way to break him utterly? Who knows (spoiler, I don't either)

Fancast: Alihan Türkdemir

Elarion

DOB: FoA 31

DOD: FoA 35/36

Fourth child of Eönwë and Elenna, he's also very sickly. Boromir is his best friend and they always stick together. They will probably die together as well.

Fancast: I only found a gif and a pic of him but that's basically how he looks like (he's such a cute kid). I'll make a collage once I have found more pics.

Eglantine ("Tilly")

DOB: Adopted in FoA 32

DOD: FoA 39

Adopted in FoA 32. She's an elf. She's very close with Wyn and her younger sister Finduilas. Enna brings her home with the intent to keep her temporarily. Needless to say, they end up keeping her permanently and adopt her.

Fancast: Amelie Child Villiers

Finduilas ("Finnie")

DOB: FoA 32

DOD:

Fifth child of Eönwë and Elenna. Tilly is her best friend. She's quiet, enjoys reading and studying and is a polyglot. She adores her dad, but she also has a closer relationship to Enna compared to her sisters.

Fancast: Balim Gaye Bayrak

Elanorellë ("Ellie")

DOB: FoA 34

DOD: FoA 40

Fancast: Amelia Crouch

Aearwen Elanel

DOB: FoA 36

DOD: FoA 40

Partly named after Enna's birth mother.

Fancast: [Esmanur from Magnificent Century]

Stillborn boy in FoA 41

Vanya Elestellë & Faramir Elegil

DOB: FoA 43 (twins)

DOD:

The last children. Depending on when LOI ends, they will either appear as newborn or as toddlers. In any case, I'm including their faceclaims.

Vanya Elestellë

Fancast: Nisa Sofiya Aksongur

(Adult version to be featured in the sequel: Evie Allen)

Faramir Elegil ("Feathermir")

Fancast: Çağan Efe Ak

(Adult version to be featured in the sequel: Boran Bağci)

NOTE (& SPOILERS NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT)=> I know I haven't included all the children's adult versions in this post, but that doesn't mean they're all going to die. I just haven't found the right faceclaims yet 😊 the only confirmed casualties here are Boromir and Elarion. Wyn may die too after her parents' death.

Shortly after Boromir and Elarion's funeral, Eönwë realizes there's seriously wrong with him and it doesn't take him long to figure that he will eventually die. He doesn't say anything to anyone, but he knows the end is coming for him. Which is why, he'll try not to produce any more children (creation is a Maiarin thing, after all). As a matter of fact, Vanya and Faramir are a mistake. They just...happen. They weren't planned (none of the children was actually, but...you know what I mean).

I'll update this post again once I find the name of all the missing actors 😊

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi! I just wanted to reach out to share some truth and some 'fun facts' with you🥰🥰 You'll probably ignore this, and that's fine. Just thought I'll share this with you, have a blessed day! 🤗🤗

"Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers." - Quran 2:223

This verse suggests that marital rape is deemed acceptable.

"Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is in the heaven is displeased with her until he (her husband) is pleased with her.

Abu Huraira (Allah he pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may, peace be upon him) as saying: When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the sight being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning." - Sahih Muslim, Book 8, Number 3367 & 3368

"Abu Sirma said to Abu Sa’id al Khadri (Allah he pleased with him): O Abu Sa’id, did you hear Allah’s Messenger (May peace be upon him) mentioning al-‘azl? He said: Yes, and added: We went out with Allah’s Messenger (May peace be upon him) on the expedition to the Bi’l-Mustaliq and took captive some excellent Arab women; and we desired them, for we were suffering from the absence of our wives, (but at the same time) we also desired ransom for them. So we decided to have sexual intercourse with them but by observing ‘azl (Withdrawing the male sexual organ before emission of semen to avoid conception). But we said: We are doing an act whereas Allah’s Messenger is amongst us; why not ask him? So we asked Allah’s Messenger (May peace be upon him), and he said: It does not matter if you do not do it, for every soul that is to be born up to the Day of Resurrection will be born." - Sahih Muslim Book 8, Hadith Number 3371.

"And also forbidden to you are all married women (muhsanat) except those women whom your right hands have come to possess (as a result of war)." - Quran 4:24

This verse suggests that it's deemed acceptable to rape your captives of war.

"Those [women] whose nushuz you fear, admonish them, and abandon them in bed, and strike them. If they obey you, do not pursue a strategy against them. Indeed, God is Exalted, Great." - An-Nisa 34

"So when you meet those who disbelieve [in battle], strike [their] necks until, when you have inflicted slaughter upon them, then secure their bonds, and either [confer] favor afterwards or ransom [them] until the war lays down its burdens. That [is the command]. And if Allah had willed, He could have taken vengeance upon them [Himself], but [He ordered armed struggle] to test some of you by means of others. And those who are killed in the cause of Allah - never will He waste their deeds." - Surah 47:4

"Humaid b. ‘Abd al-Rahman b. ‘Auf reported that his mother Umm Kulthum daughter of ‘Uqba b. Abu Mu’ait, and she was one amongst the first emigrants who pledged allegiance to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him), as saying that she heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A liar is not one who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or he conveys good. Ibn Shihab said he did not hear that exemption was granted in anything what the people speak as lie but in three cases: in battle, for bringing reconciliation amongst persons and the narration of the words of the husband to his wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband (in a twisted form in order to bring reconciliation between them)." - Sahih Muslim Book 32, Hadith Number 6303.

This verse suggests that it's okay to lie to you spouse (which may allude that it's okay to be deceitful with infidelity).

all of this same shit is in the bible, if not worse, so hopefully you are showing up in the christians inboxes to say this same islamophobic bullshit to them 🥰🥰

1 timothy 2:12 — i do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man, she must be silent.

1 samuel 15:3 — now go and strike amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.

psalm 137:9 — happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us / he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.

ephesians 5:22 — wives, submit to your husbands as to the lord.

genesis 22:2 — take your son, your only son isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of moriah, and offer him there as a burnt-offering on one of the mountains that i shall show you.

1 peter 2:18 — slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.

exodus 21:20-21 — when a man strikes his slave, male or female, with a rod and the slave dies under his hand, he shall be avenged. / but if the slave survives a day or two, he is not to be avenged, for the slave is his money.

deuteronomy 20:10-14 — as you approach a town to attack it, first offer its people terms for peace. if they accept your terms and open the gates to you, then all the people inside will serve you in forced labor. but if they refuse to make peace and prepare to fight, you must attack the town. when the lord your god hands it over to you, kill every man in the town. but you may keep for yourselves all the women, children, livestock, and other plunder. you may enjoy the spoils of your enemies that the lord your god has given you.

deuteronomy 22:28-29 — if a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

deuteronomy 22:23-24 — if within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

numbers 31 — moses, eleazar the priest, and all the leaders of the people went to meet them outside the camp. but moses was furious with all the military commanders who had returned from the battle. “why have you let all the women live?” he demanded. “these are the very ones who followed balaam’s advice and caused the people of israel to rebel against the lord at mount peor. they are the ones who caused the plague to strike the lord’s people. now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves.”

[gundemarsivi]

Kızını Dövmeyen Dizini Döver

✍🏻 Yılmaz Dikbaş

https://www.gundemarsivi.com/kizini-dovmeyen-dizini-dover/

Kadın cinayetleri her geçen gün artarak sürmektedir.

İşte, beş yılda öldürülen kadın sayıları:

2015 yılında 303,

2016 yılında 328,

2017 yılında 409,

2018 yılında 440,

2019 yılında 374

…

Son 10 yılda Türkiye’de 4197 (dört bin yüz doksan yedi) kadın öldürülmüştür.

Dünyada en çok kadın cinayeti işlenen ülke Türkiye’dir.

Bu neden böyledir?

Kadın öldüren caniler ne tür bir iklimde yetişmektedir?

İşte başlıca etkenler:

KADINA ŞİDDET İÇEREN ATASÖZLERİ VE DEYİMLER

Türk erkek çocukları okullarda şu atasözlerini öğrenir:

Kızını dövmeyen dizini döver.

Kızın var mı, derdin var.

Kadın, erkeğin şeytanıdır.

Kadı, erkeğin çarığı gibidir. (Yani istediği zaman çıkarıp atar)

Kızın var, sızın var.

Oğlan doğuran övülsün, kız doğuran dövülsün.

Anasına bak, kızını al.

Saçı uzun aklı kısa.

Kızı gönlüne bırakırsan ya davulcuya kaçarya zurnacıya.

Babasının öğlu.

Karı gibi konuşmak.

Çocuksu kadın meyvesiz ağaca benzer.

Kocanın vurduğu yerde gül biter.

Kadının sırtından sopayı, karnından sıpayı eksik etmeyeceksin.

Kocamdır, sever de döver de.

Dua et, kadınsın!

Kır dizini otur evinde.

Elinin hamuruyla erkek işine karışmak.

KADINA ŞİDDET İÇEREN TÜRKÜLER, ŞARKILAR

Türk erkek çocukları şu tür türkü ve şarkıları dinleyerek büyür:

Trabzon Maçka türküsü:

Yavuz geliyor Yavuz da

Denizi yara yara

Kız ben seni alacağım da

Başına vura vura

Maçkalı erkek çocuklara ana babaları, yakınları ve de öğretmenleri SEVMEYİ öğretmiyorlar!

SEVMEYİ BİLMEYEN DÖVER!

SEVİŞMEYİ BİLMEYEN ÖLDÜRÜR!

İngiltere’de üniversitede ilk yıllarımda Amerika’nın Vietnam savaşına karşı yapılan protesto yürüyüşlerine katılıyor, yakamda üzerinde küçücük dört sözcük bulunan şu rozeti taşıyordum:

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR. Türkçesi: SAVAŞMA SEVİŞ.

Sevmek, aşık olmak ve sevişmek insanlara özgüdür.

Hayvanlar sevmez, aşık olmaz, sevişmezler. Sadece belirli zamanlarda, üreme amaçlı, çiftleşirler.

PKK yandaşı, şarkıcı İbrahim Tatlıses çığırıyor:

Kız ben seni vurmaz mıyım

Saçlarından asmaz mıyım

Karadenizli azmış nara atıyor:

Gelevere deresi iki dağın arası

Yüzünden silinmesin piçağumun yarası

Ünlü pop şarkıcı Erkin Koray‘ın “Deli Kadın” şarkısı:

Deli kadın hiç sen beni anlamadın

Sopa mopa kâr etmiyor taş kafana

Rana Alagöz, “Dayak Cennetten Çıkma” şarkısıyla kadınlara öğüt veriyor:

Sakın kızdırma onu

Döver pata pata

Sonra karışmam

O çok aksi pata pata

Bak dayak cennetten çıkma

Döver pata pata

Memeleri yeni tomurcuklanmış, hiç el değmemiş huriler erkeklere veriliyor, kadınlara ise dayak! İşte size cennet!

TÜRK FİLMLERİNDE KADINA ŞİDDDET

Türk erkek çocukları ve delikanlıları şu yerli filmleri izleyerek kadını tanır:

Kızını Dövmeyen Dizini Döver, Çaresizlik, Vurun Kahpeye, Leke, Neşeli Günler, Çöpler Köpekler, Gülen Gözler, Terazi. 9 aylık. Dört Yapraklı Yonca, Kuyu, Barda, Halam Geldi, Kurtuluş Son Durak, Killing İstanbul, İffet, Kadın Düşmanı.

KADINA ŞİDDET İÇEREN TÜRK TV DİZİLERİ

Türk erkek çocukları, delikanlılar ve de yetişkinler her akşam şu dizileri izleyerek ders alırlar:

Kızıl Goncalar, Ömer, Sen Anlat Karadeniz, Alemin Kralı, Unutulmaz, Ufak Tefek Cinayetler., Kızılcık Şebeti, Yasak Elma, Sadakatsiz, Hercai, Doğduğun Ev Kaderindir, Aşk Ağlatır, Hayat Devam Ediyor, Aşk-ı Memnu.

KURAN’DA KADINA ŞİDDET

Kadın katillerinin tümü “milli ve manevi” değerlere bağlı, muhafazakâr MÜSLÜMAN’dır.

İslam’ın kutsal Kitabı Kuran’da. Nisa Suresi 34. Ayet’de Allah. Erkek kullarına şu öğütü verir:

“Sadakatsizlık ve iffetlerinden korktuğunuz kadınlara önce öğüt verin. Sonra onları yataklarında yalnız bırakın ve nihayet onlarıevden çıkarın/bulundukları yerden başka yere gönderin/onları DÖVÜN.”

(Kaynak: Prof. Dr. Yaşar Nuri Öztürk. “Kuran-ı Kerim Meali-Türlçe Çeviri”)

Müslüman Türkler, Kuran’ı Türkçe okumadıkları için bilmezler!

Ama Müslüman Türk çocuklarının çoğu evlerinde, yukarıdaki Ayetin uygulamasını defalarca yaşarlar, babaları annelerini sık sık acımasızca DÖVER!

OSMANLI’DA KADIN

Altı yüz yıldan uzun bir süre (1300-1920) Anadolu Türk halkı Osmanlı’nın boyunduruğu altında kaldı.

Osmanlı’da kadın, ikinci sınıf vatandaş bile değildi.

Osmanlı’da kadın vatandaş değildi!

Nüfus sayımlarında, evlerde erkekler yazılırken kadınlar sayılmazdı! Yani Osmanlı, kadını insan olarak bile görmezdi!

Osmanlı’da kadın, alınıp satılan MAL’dı.

Osmanlı’da kadın, esir pazarlarında satılırdı.

Dillere destan Osmanlı Haremi’ndeki kadınlar, Avrupalı Hıristiyan/Yahudi kadınlardı. Avrupa ülkelerini işgalde Osmanlı, genç kadınları, kızları ve de parlak oğlanları esir alır, Payitaht’ta getiri, en güzelleri seçilip Saray’ın Haremi’ne gönderilirdi.

Harem, köle kadınlar hapishanesiydi!

Padişahlar bu kölelerle çiftleşirdi.

Değerli Dostlar.

Osmanlı’da kadın, çok önemli bir konudur.

Ben bu konuyu çok sağlam kaynaklara ve belgelere dayanarak, “KADININ ADI YOK” başlıklı bir makale olarak hazırladım. Bu makalemi, yine bu Facebook sayfamda bilgilerinize sunuyorum. Okumanızı öneririm.

Türk gençlerinin büyük çoğunluğu Osmanlı tarihini sağlam kaynaklardan okuyup öğrenmediler.. Osmanlı hakkında bildikleri uyduruk TV dizileri ve sözde tarih hocası, Osmanlı sevdalısı saray dalkavukları Prof. Dr. İlber Ortaylı ve Prof. Dr. Erhan Afyoncu’nun anlattığı masallardır.

KADIN CİNAYETLERİNE KARŞI ÖRGÜTLENEN KADINLAR

Özgür akıllı aydın kadınlar Türkiye’nin 81 ilinde ve birçok ilçede bir araya geldiler, kadına şiddete karşı örgütlenip dernekler kurdular.

İşte o dernekler:

Kadınlarla Dayanışma Vakfı (Birçok ilde şubeleri var), Mavi Kalem Sosyal Yardımlaşma ve Dayanışma Derneği, Kadın Hakları Derneği, Kadın Cinayetlerini Durduracağız Platformu, Mor Dayanışma Derneği, Antalya Kadın Danışma ve Dayanışma Derneği, Mor Salkım Kadın Dayanışma Derneği, Edirne Kadın Merkezi Danışma Derneği, Erzurum Katre Danışma ve Dayanışma Derneği, İstanbul Mor Çatı Kadın Sığınağı, İzmir Kadın Dayanışma Derneği, Mersin Bağımsız Kadın Derneği, Mersin Mimoza Kadın Derneği, Fethiye Kadın Danışma ve Dayanışma Derneği, Bodrum Kadın Dayanışma Derneği, Van Star Kadın Derneği.

Kadına Şiddete Karşı örgütlenen tüm dernek ve kuruluşların yöneticileri ile tüm üyelerine sevgi ve saygılarımı yolluyorum…

Yılmaz Dikbaş

8 Mart 2024, Cuma

0532 233 31 52

#GündemArşivi #YılmazDikbaş #8MartDünyaEmekçiKadınlarGünü #8MartDünyaKadınlarGünü #KadınaŞiddet #Atasözü #ŞarkıSözü #NisaSuresi #KadınCinayetleri #İstanbulSözleşmesi #ToplumdaKadın #OsmanlıdaKadın #Kadınlarımız #Eğitim #Tarih

[kabuluk]

34💫

(şimdilik buraya biraz yazayım fırsat buldugumda kağıda yazıp saklarim tesekkur ederim<3)

on gün sonra bile ne olacağını bilemez kestiremezken on yıl sonrasını düşünmek bana biraz utopik gelir. düşünsene 28 yaşında olacagim. acaba üniversiteyi nerde okudum ne okudum? dünyanın hangi yerindeyim? hayatımda biri var mı? evlenmiş bile olabilirim.. cok uzun zaman sonraymis gibi geliyo ama zamanın ne kadar hızlı aktığını ve tutamadigimizin da farkındayım. uzulucem yıkılıcam ağır şeyler yasicam belki ama büyümüş olucam. özümü kaybetmeden her geçen gün kendime daha iyi şeyler katabilirim umarim. on yılın sonunda keşke kelimesini kullanmak çok canımı sıkardı. kullaniyo musun acaba? yaptiklarimdan pişman olmamam hatalarimin bile ders verdiği, huzurun her zaman icimde ve her daim mutlu olabilmeyi öğrendiğim bi süreç gecireyim. unutma on yıl sonraki nisa, sevdiklerini, zevk aldığın şeyleri, hatalarını, iyi kötü yaşayıp biriktirdigin her anıyı, sahip olduklarin hakkında bolca şükretmeyi ve en önemlisi de kendini ve kendin olmayı unutma. kocaman bir sevginin içinde yaşamaktan keyif alman dileğimle. olduğun kişi icin seni her daim seviyorum💗

[aestheticsun]

Hii your face claim posts are sooo helpful. I was wondering if you have any ideas for face claims for children in a period setting. Appearance or ethnicity doesn't really matter, just as long as they're kids under 14 ish.

I completely forgot about this blog 😅 you've reminded me to get back into compiling faceclaims, for now, for anyone who would like some extra resources, i have an extensive directory on quotev that I'm planning to eventually expand (add resources for each fc, ect) to tumblr. It is under construction rn I'm adding new fc's and alphabatizing them, so extending to tumblr is in the far future at this point.

QUOTEV FC HELP DIRECTORY

On to the actual ask, I do have a few younger period fc's. The resources for them are extremely limited, you might get 2 or 3 gifs on average for each. Younger fc's are hard to find so if none of these are what you were looking for, my advice would be to have children younger then 14 or so just be left faceless.

• Ana Maria Varlotomi (24 y/o but has mostly resources from when she was younger) (white)

• Raffey Cassidy (21 y/o but has plenty of younger resources that can pass as period) (white)

• Alissa Skovbye (21 y/o but has younger resources) (white)

• Maisie Williams (26 y/o but her resources as arya stark can pass as a younger teen) (white)

• Billie Gadson (5 y/o with plenty of period resources) (white)

• Max Pirkis (34 y/o but has resources from rome where he portrays young octavian) (white)

• Ty Tennet (21 y/o but can pass as a preteen in his HoTD resources) (white)

• Finn Elliot (20 y/o but his resources in vikings and the crown could work for a younger teen) (white)

• Dean Charles-Chapman (25 y/o but looks young in his GoT resources) (white)

• Lin Miaoke (23 y/o but only has resources from when she was younger) (east asian)

• Liu Chu Tian (13 y/o but that's literally the only gif i've seen of her) (east asian)

• Seo Eun Sol (13 y/o and pretty limited gif resources) (east asian)

• Yu Xiaotong (29 y/o but has younger resources) (east asian)

• Jiang Yiting (10 y/o with a few resources) (east asian)

• Kim Jin Woo (not sure about age and he's only got a few resources as prince ayushiridara in empress ki) (east asian)

• Nisa Sofia Aksongur (12 y/o but has some resources from magnificent century kosem) (turkish)

• Ayda Acar (not sure about age but has some resources from magnificent century) (turkish)

• Melis Mutluc (20 y/o but has younger resources from magnificent century) (turkish)

• Alihan Turkdemir (13 y/o has a decent amount of resources in magnificent century kosem) (turkish)

• Yusuf Berkan Demirbag (17 y/o with some resources from magnificent century) (turkish)

• Aybars Kartel Ozson (15 y/o with some resources from magnificent century) (turkish)

• Cagan Efe Ak (16 y/o with some resources from magnificent century) (turkish)

• Kaizer Aktar (not sure about age but has some resources from tutankhamen) (middle eastern)

[wrappedinamysteryy]

🌷The Rights and Responsibilities of the Daughter-in-Law🌷

By Asma bint Shameem

🔹 First of all, the “joint family system” is only a “cultural” thing.

There is nothing in the Sharee’ah that enforces that.

And it has nothing to do with Islaam or being a “good daughter-in-law”.

And actually, it’s highly discouraged in our Deen to live with nonmahram in-laws.

But if it’s something culturally accepted, it would be ‘permissible’ to live with nonmahram in-laws.

But just because something is “permissible” does not necessarily mean that it’s “desirable”.

If someone does decide to adopt the joint family system, the woman MUST observe hijaab all the time and she must make sure not to be alone with the nonmahrams at ANY time.

That’s because Allaah told us women to cover ourselves from ALL nonmahrams.

And that order includes the

brothers-in-law.

There’s NO EXCEPTION to the rule.

Yet many sisters AND their husbands take that order lightly.

And although they may observe hijaab ‘outside’ their homes, many sisters take off their hijaabs in front of their brothers-in-law just because they live in one house as a joint family.

NOWHERE does Allaah say, it’s ok to take off your hijaab if you’re living with your nonmahram brother-in-law.

In fact, the hadeeth of the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam is VERY CLEAR.

He said:

"The (brother) in-law is DEATH." (Muslim)

It is the husband’s responsibility to protect his wife and assure her wellbeing.

Part of that protection means screening her from the eyes of non-mahram men such as his own brother.

However, there’s nothing wrong with his parents living in the same place with the daughter-in-law, if the house is big enough, and if that will not cause her any harm.

Remember that the father-in-law is a mahram to his daughter-in-law.

🔹The daughter-in-law does not ‘have’ to obey anyone from her in-laws, whether that is her husband’s father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islaam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam.

In such situations, she must obey and do that which is right, irrespective of “who” is telling her to do that.

It doesn’t matter if that comes from a relative or a stranger, an in-law or anyone else.

🔹The only one she’s supposed to obey is her husband, as long as it’s according to Allaah’s commands.

That’s because Allaah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means…”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

🔹 It is not allowed for any of the

in-laws to enter the daughter-in-law’s room without her permission.

That’s because Allaah says:

“O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them; that is better for you, in order that you may remember”

[al-Noor 24:27]

🔹 If any of them enters her room with her permission but he is not one of her mahrams – such as the husband’s brother – then there has to be one of her mahrams present, so that there will be no haraam khulwah between the two of them. (i.e., being alone together).

The daughter-in-law must also cover herself with proper Hijaab whenever she’s in front of the nonmahrams and she should make sure that there is no risk of falling into fitnah (temptation).

🔹The in-laws don’t have the right to force her to do anything nor dictate to her or have a say in what to cook, how to dress, when to wake up and sleep, where to go, when to visit her parents etc.

They may ‘advise’ her with love and kindness but they cannot compel her or force her against her wishes as long as she’s not doing anything against the Sharee’ah.

🔹 The daughter-in-law has the right to her privacy and it’s not allowed for the in-laws to interfere in the private affairs of the husband and wife.

And they don’t have the right to know the details of every little thing that’s happening in their life.

That includes asking “when are you going to have babies”, “why don’t you go see a doctor”, “what were you two talking/arguing about last night”, “where did you go yesterday”, etc.

🔹 The daughter-in-law does not have to ask permission from any of them to visit her family; that is not their right.

But she should ask her *husband’s* permission, and if he allows her then she doesn’t have to ask permission from any of them.

🔹 The husband has to honor his parents, especially his mother, and the daughter-in-law should definitely *help him in that*.

*She should not be the cause of a split between him and them* and she should never make him “choose” between her and his mother.

It’s true that the wife has certain rights over her husband that he must uphold.

So he must be kind and loving to his wife and provide for her and care for her.

However, the rights of the mother (and father) are greater.

The mother has the greatest rights of all people over her son.

And honoring, respecting and loving the parents is one of the most important duties of a person.

That’s what Allaah has ordered.

He says:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.

And that you be dutiful to your parents.

If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor”

[al-Isra’ 17:23].

Each of you has her own place in his life.

You are not competing for the same spot in his heart.

Rather a mother’s love will remain in its place and a wife’s love will remain in its place.

Each is separate from the other.

🔹 With regard to serving the in-laws and doing housework, etc, that’s not the daughter-in-law’s responsibility.

But if she does it as an act of kindness towards them, out of the goodness of her heart to please Allaah and to make her husband happy, that’s something good and she will be rewarded for that.

🔹 It’s the wife’s right to have an accommodation of her own, the ‘minimum’ of which is one room, a bathroom and a kitchen where she can relax, be on her own without interference from anyone;

a place she can cook what she wants or NOT cook if she wants.

A place where she can take off her hijaab and be comfortable;

dress however she likes and not worry about nonmahrams barging in or others meddling in her affairs.

The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam gave each of his wives a SEPERATE home.

Ali and Fatima radhi Allaahu anhumaa lived in their *own* house.

And ibn Umar did not live with Umar radhi Allaahu anhu.

🔹 At the end of the day, as a daughter-in-law you must remember that a woman is the “ANCHOR” of her home.

Her wisdom and diligence are the NUCLEUS around which the serenity of her home and the mental peace of her husband and kids revolve.

It’s part of the good manners of a Muslim woman to consider the husband’s parents as her own so she thinks of them as family.

And have love for them and treat them with mercy, fondness and sincerity.

There IS definitely wisdom in this outlook and overall benefit in having this attitude.

Such approach is not only wise and mature, but it also builds a strong foundation for a beautiful and strong, everlasting, healthy relationship between two individuals, a man and a woman bonding together and loving each other for the sake of Allaah.

Someone wise once said:

“The best wife is the one who knows how to create harmony in her marriage and strikes a balance between obeying and respecting her husband and expressing her own strong personality.”

And Allaah knows best