#nikolai lantsov x female reader

[rubysunnday]

a soft place to fall

summary: the softest place to fall would always be into Nikolai's arms (or three times Y/N fell and Nikolai caught her)

a/n: it's been a minute

"Well, that's not foreboding," Nikolai said, leaning on the side of the Volkvolny.

The island loomed before them, the tops of the mountains covered in cloud. The sky darkened as they approached, the sun disappearing completely.

"It could be anywhere in there," Tolya muttered, stretching out, trying to get a better look.

"It's there," Mal said a beat later, pointing to a small, almost invisible, opening in the bottom of the island.

Y/N huffed out a laugh, quickly trying to cover it as a cough when Tolya turned to her with an offended look.

"We're going a shore!" Nikolai yelled, slapping the side of the boat once.

Ten minutes later, Y/N found herself knee deep in cold water, her heart thrumming away in her chest. She was terrified. The Sea Whip might not even be real, but the tension and anxiety was so thick amongst their little group, that every little sound set them all off.

She knew, deep down, that she would be able to handle whatever happened. But it didn't help her nerves.

"You alright?" Nikolai asked softly, the sleeve of his jacket brushing against Y/N's arm.

"Ahuh," Y/N nodded, "just... nerves."

Nikolai nodded and gave her a quick, blinding smile. "We've got you, don't worry."

He reached down and squeezed her hand briefly. Y/N inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the butterflies soaring inside her at the slightest touch from Nikolai.

A pebble fell down from the roof and as Y/N tilted her head up, she caught a glimpse of yellow, slitted eyes and dark green scales. The Sea Whip lurched forward, snatching one of their crew mates up in its jaws and yanking it up and through a hole in the roof of the cave.

Y/N fell back, catching herself on the rocks. The rest of the group turned and began firing the pistols and rifles up at the ceiling.

"Stop!" Alina cried. "Don't hurt it."

The gunfire stopped but no one lowered their weapons, keeping them trained on the roof of the cave. Y/N's heart was pounding in her chest, her hands shaking as she held her revolver tightly.

"Where's it gone?" Nikolai asked, his eyes searching the roof frantically.

Y/N felt something vibrate against the ground and the water sloshed against the back of her legs. She turned and, as she did so, the man who had been standing behind her was yanked backwards and under the water.

"It's here!" She yelled, stepping backwards as quickly as she could in the water without tripping over.

Alina brushed past her, standing where the Sea Whip had just been, her hand hovering over the water. The silence was deafening. For a moment, no one moved. No one spoke.

The Sea Whip suddenly dived down from the ceiling again. Mal lurched forward and pushed Alina aside. Y/N was frozen to the spot, the scales of the Sea Whip glinting in the dim light as the whipped towards her.

A hand yanked her to the side and she lost her footing, falling into the water. Y/N scrambled to her feet, shooting Tamar a grateful look for pulling her out the way.

"It's playing with us," Nikolai said, standing up as quickly as he could and pulling Y/N to her feet as well. "Conserve your ammo!"

The Sea Whip launched out of the water again.

Y/N saw the tail coming towards her. She threw herself to the side, falling into the water and disappearing under it, the Sea Whip's tail smashing into the water above her head. Her vision became obscured by dozens of bubbles, the water clouding over.

Y/N couldn't find the way up, she couldn't see, she couldn't breathe. The Sea Whip was still swimming about, it's body bumping against Y/N's.

Hands came under her arms and yanked her to the surface. Y/N gasped loudly, gulping the air down gratefully. She knew it was Nikolai. Nothing could disguise the scent of his cologne - the feeling of his hands against hers, the way he squeezed her arms once, trying to reassure her.

Y/N gripped the sleeve of his jacket tightly as she coughed, her throat burning. As the Sea Whip shot up from the water again, it launched at Mal. He blocked the attack with his rifle, wedging it in its jaws. Alina then shot out a blast of light, killing the Sea Whip instantly.

It flopped into the water and then slowly floated to the top, smoke wafting up from where Alina had hit it.

Y/N stared at it, still half submerged in the water, Nikolai's arms wrapped around her tightly. She swallowed and then abruptly started coughing again.

"Hey," Nikolai said, looking down at her. "Are you ok?"

Y/N swallowed, panting slightly. She nodded. "Fine."

"Tolya," Nikolai called.

"I'm fine -"

"I just want to check," Nikolai placated, squeezing her hand. "Before I make you drag this thing back to the boat."

Y/N rolled her eyes at him, but her smile gave away her amusement. "Funny, Nik."

"It's so choppy!"

"Way to state the obvious."

Nikolai gave Y/N a glare - one that was entirely ignored as she grinned back at him.

She was gripping on tightly to one of the main ropes hanging down from the main mast. Waves kept smashing up against the side of the boat, water sloshing over the edges. It was nearly impossible to remain upright and everyone was wet.

Yet Y/N was beaming, enjoying every single second. Nikolai, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly, watched her as she all but crawled further up the boat, going to help one of the crew tie off a rope.

He sometimes wished he could have an ounce of Y/N's joy. It might make life easier.

"Brace!"

Nikolai gripped the steering wheel even tighter, ducking down behind it slightly, as another wave smashed into the front of the ship. The front of the ship tipped up, struggling to ride the wave.

The ship slammed down abruptly, water splashing up from the bow of the ship. Nikolai pushed himself up on the wheel, surveying the damage with a hesitant gaze.

Everything looked to be in tact... ish.

"That was fun," Y/N said, carefully walking over to him, her stance wide to counter the constant bouncing of the ship.

A particularly hard wave smashed into the ship, knocking it to the side. Y/N let out what had to be an involuntary shriek, for Nikolai had never heard her make a noise like that before, and fell forward.

Nikolai opened his arms, braced himself, and caught Y/N. Her body slammed into his and he grunted, taking a step back to brace himself.

"Sorry," Y/N winced, putting her hands on his chest as she pushed herself back onto her feet.

Nikolai smiled crookedly, trying not to look down at her hands, feeling their warmth through his soaking wet jacket and shirt. "Don't be."

"Everyone alive?" Nikolai called, pushing himself up onto his haunches, eyes frantically scanning the occupants of the ship.

Numerous grunts gave Nikolai his answer. He winced as he put his weight on his injured leg, blood staining his trousers. Dominik rushed to his side, taking his arm and putting it on his shoulders.

"You need to sit down," Dominik said, taking almost all of Nikolai's weight.

"No, we need to get off this boat," Nikolai panted. He was looking around the destroyed ship, at the bodies, the burnt metal, the chunks of tree littering the deck. "They're coming for us."

Dominik helped Nikolai climb down from the boat, navigating the broken trees and the dead bodies in their path.

"Wait," Nikolai said, halting abruptly, pushing away from Dominik. "Y/N, where's Y/N?"

"Here," Y/N called weakly, wobbling as she stumbled on a loose log. She took another unsure step and her foot slipped, rolling on a stone.

Y/N lurched forward. She mentally braced herself to land in the grass but a pair of arms caught her, holding her tightly to them.

Her eyes flew open and she stared up at Nikolai. They looked a wrecked, both covered in blood, grime and sweat. Yet he'd never looked so beautiful to her. Because he was still here, alive, and holding her.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, the tips of his fingers pressing against her back. He wobbled and Dominik silently put a hand against his back, steadying him.

Y/N nodded, her hand resting on his wrist, her thumb rubbing against his skin gently. "Yeah."

"Nik, we need to go," Dominik urged gently.

Nikolai suddenly snapped back into life, the young soldier and privateer taking over. "Nadia, Adrik, head for the trees and up that hill!" He yelled. "Come on!"

Wordlessly, Y/N put a hand on Nikolai's waist. He instinctively put his arm around her shoulders and, together (with some help from Dominik) the awkwardly limped as fast as they could up the hill and into the trees, leaving the wrecked ship smoking behind them.

[audreyclimbs]

In response to this ask, here’s some Nikolai hurt/comfort ☺️

“c’mere, let me hold you”

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x afab!reader

Warnings: Nikolai being a simp? Allusions to sex, sort of edited oops, established relationship, reader is called milaya (translates to sweet girl in English) so basically fem reader, just Nikolai comforting his betrothed after she has a rough day so pretty much just fluff

First fic yippie! Anon, I hope you like this and please please please keep the requests coming yall!

Your bones felt tired in a way you knew surpassed the physical exhaustion you had endured today. Your eyes stung from the amount of times you had staved off tears of pure frustration, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could force the lump swelling in your throat back down. With heavy footfalls, you carried yourself to the one place of true solace in this Saints-forsaken palace.

Walking past the guards with a familiar half smile that you knew didn’t reach your eyes, you crossed the threshold into Nikolai’s chambers. As if your body could sense the change in atmosphere before your mind caught up, you felt your shoulders relax microscopically.

And there he was in all of his perfect, unfairly handsome glory. The domesticity of this moment alone was enough to bring the first genuine smile, no matter how small, to your lips. You could feel cracks beginning to form in the floodgates you’d been holding shut all day, but here with him, you didn’t truly care.

His hair was in damp waves and based on the faint smell of bathing oils and soap, you guessed he had just finished a bath. He was in a linen sleep shirt, your favorite because of how soft it always felt against your cheek as you two fell asleep, and a pair of sleep pants. Nikolai was sitting up against the headboard of your shared bed, holding what looked like correspondence, likely from one of his outposts along the Ravkan border. Upon seeing you, though, he immediately cast the papers aside and regarded you with a warmth intense enough to melt all of Fjerda. Saints, how you’d missed him today.

“Hello, lovely,” he said softly, hand stretching out to beckon you to bed.

“Hi,” you cringed internally at how small and watery your voice sounded, even to your own ears.

His brows furrowed slightly, but he said nothing, letting you come to him at your own pace. His hand dropped back into his lap as he simply observed you, drinking you in after your time spent apart today. Before making your way to bed, you mindlessly slipped out of your day clothes and into one of the dozens of exquisite nightgowns Nikolai had made for you since your engagement. You had tried and failed to argue with him about how one person could not need that many nightgowns and that you’d be more than satisfied with just a few. He had of course countered with “What makes you think they’re all for your personal enjoyment? I happen to rather love the way you look in silk, satin, lace… nothing at all is my personal favorite, but they’re close seconds I suppose”

You lost that argument rather quickly.

Of course some of them, like the one you chose for this evening, were simply soft satin that draped comfortably over your skin. This one, you thought fleetingly, was made to be kept on, not taken off. Not that that had ever stopped Nikolai before.

Snapping out of your haze, you turned back to the bed and padded your way towards it. As you did, Nikolai shifted forward to sit at the foot of the bed, legs spread to welcome you to stand between them upon your arrival. Mindlessly, you did. His hands instantly greeted your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as his eyes searched your face.

Suddenly, his tunic collar was very interesting.

“What’s wrong, milaya?” He practically whispered, leaning into your space to search your eyes. “Rough day?”

That aggravating lump formed in your throat once more, but you knew there was no point in trying to push it back down again— not with him. At your subconscious admission of defeat, you felt that familiar burning of tears begin once more behind your eyes. You let them come and well up in your vision, blurring the soft cream color of his tunic and how it draped across his strong chest. A silent nod from you.

“Yeah,” you murmured wetly.

“Darling,” Nikolai answered softly, hands sliding from your hips to your lower back, pulling you in closer so that your head made contact with the crook of his neck. “C’mere, let me hold you.”

At those words, you felt the cracks in your floodgates give way. The weight of the day finally came rushing through you in a torrent of frustration, pain, and despair. You felt one cry after another bubble past your lips, tears flooding from your eyes steadily, drenching the collar occasionally Nikolai’s shirt. In the back of your mind, you felt a twinge of guilt at possibly ruining his shirt, but in this moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when his hands were running up and down your back, fingertips tracing your spine so so delicately, like you would break or fade away at a fractionally harsher touch.

“Come here, milaya,” he murmured into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to it before his hands slid down to the backs of your thighs, pulling you into his lap effortlessly. Your arms circled around his neck and pulled him closer, as if he’d ever let go. Nikolai whispered soft comforts into your hair and you felt a wave of gratitude that he was letting you cry your frustrations out before trying to figure out what they were.

“Shh, I’ve got you, I’m here,” his lips pressed so softly into your hair. They migrated to your temple and pressed another series of soft kisses to your skin, which was now flushed from how hard you had been crying.

Eventually, your sobs subsided and you simply stayed hidden away in the comfort of Nikolai’s warmth. His hands never stopped their comforting runs up and down the length of your back, occasionally pausing to rub soft circles here and there.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked into your hair, words followed immediately by yet another soft kiss.

You thought for a moment before shaking your head. “No, ruining your shirt helped,” you croaked out, the faintest of laughs following your words.

Nikolai chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through his warm chest and shaking his strong shoulders. The sound alone was enough to stop the sting of the day. If you could get drunk off of it, you would every day.

“Well I’m glad I could be of service,” he said quietly, the slightest of teasing in his voice.

You smiled into his neck, “Thank you,” you said simply.

“Anytime, my love,” Nikolai whispered. Another kiss to your temple.

Without warning, he stoop up and lifted you into his arms before dropping your bodies unceremoniously onto the plush bed. You let out a surprised yelp, your grip tightening from casual to vice-like.

“Nikolai!” You scolded, but your words had no bite to them. You couldn’t help the peals of laughter now spilling from your lips. They only intensified as Nikolai laid you on your back and began attacking your neck with a flurry of kisses. Your giggles filled the candlelit bedchamber, echoing off the walls.

After what felt like ages, he pulled back from your neck, a smile on his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, then the corner of your mouth, and finally your lips. You smiled into the warmth of his mouth, hands coming up to slide across his cheeks and into his blonde hair.

Nikolai pulled away, face mere centimeters from yours. “Are you sure it’s okay?” He whispered, eyes searching yours.

You nodded before he even finished his sentence, “Just a bad day— better now. Thanks to you.”

A smile brilliant enough to rival the sun itself crossed his lips. “What can I say, I’m happy to be of service to such a beautiful woman.”

His lips wandered, seemingly without any destination, down your jaw and your neck. There was no heat or expectation, no sense of urgency in the soft presses to your skin, which now felt flushed as you recovered from your bouts of laughter. You sighed happily, hands making their home in his soft, thick locks of hair, raking through them in a way that made you feel the upward curve of Nikolai’s lips against your collarbone.

“You know, my love,” a kiss. You hummed in response, listening to what he had to say. “I can think of other ways I might cheer you up, help you relax,” another few smatters of kisses, moving further up your neck and back to your lips.

You snorted a laugh and raised your eyebrows incredulously at your betrothed. “Is that so, moi tsar?” Your voice had a teasing coo to it as you looked into his hazel eyes. His lips curled into a soft smirk, the kind that was reserved only for you— only in these small, gentle moments where it felt like the world had shrunk down to just the two of you.

His eyes flicked across your features in clear adoration, a fondness growing (if that were even possible) in his gaze. You decided in that moment that any other comfort, even the warmest of baths or the richest foods, paled in comparison to the way Nikolai Lantsov looked at you. The last aching remains of your day drained completely as his eyes settled on yours, and you could almost cry all over again from the sheer amount of love staring back at you.

“What’s going through that beautiful head of yours, hmm?” Nikolai murmured softly, hand wandering up to stroke your locks of hair.

You shook your head fondly. “Pondering on how insatiable you are,” the lie was blatantly obvious. After all, you both knew that he could read you like a book.

Hazel eyes rolled briefly before returning to look into yours. “Right. Not thinking about how much you love and treasure your king and fiancee? How handsome he is? Or how clever, generous, charismatic, loving, daring, unparalleled, wise—“

“Oh for the love of the Saints,” you groaned with a laugh, hands tugging on his blond hair teasingly. “You do so love to hear yourself talk, my love.”

Nikolai leaned in, effectively closing the small gap between your faces. “I’d be more than happy to be shut up,” he whispered.

[stray-kaz]

Patched : a Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader oneshot

Anon request: Nikolai is injured in the course of a fight and reader offers to tend to his wound. He is a stubborn ass and refuses...eventually giving in.

A/N: I think I decided to make this "best friends to lovers" trope. Hope that's okay.

18+ at the end!

Nikolai thumped through the door to his bedroom in the Spinning Wheel, landing hard against the wall and almost falling to the floor. If it weren’t for his gaze catching on you sitting on the edge of his bed, he would have given up and allowed gravity to take him. But as it was, he did see you and forced himself to straighten, using his shoulders to push his body off the wall, sheer will skewing the corners of his mouth into a smile facsimile.

“Hey, you” he said, and stumbled.

“Hey, yourself, Sobachka” you grumbled, standing and hastening to him. 

He pouted at the barely tolerated nickname coming out of your mouth.

“Don’t call me that” he mumbled back. “I’m not a puppy.”

“Then stop acting like one, moi Tsar” you retorted, pulling a face at him. “How bad is it?”

“It’s just a scratch.”

He sighed and collapsed into a chair, his head rolling back. You sighed even more heavily and knelt at his feet, feeling for the pulse at his wrist. It was there, and it was strong enough, but he was still an idiot.

“I heard that” he said, not looking at you. “You speak in your head far less than you think you do.”

“Good” you snapped. “Someone ought to tell you what they’re truly thinking. I’m not too scared to do it. You could have been killed, Nikolai. And if you had died, where would I be then?”

He heard the tears in your voice and sat up properly in the chair, reaching out to cup your face with one hand and tilt your gaze towards him. You sniffed, your gaze defiant, just in case he was going to tease you for caring too much. But he just leaned forward and kissed your forehead, his palm rough and soothing against your jaw.

“I don’t have an answer for that, darling” he said softly. “Other than I hope you would be all right. And that no matter where I ended up, I would worry for you.”

You breathed out sharply and rose up to lean your weight against his knees; they widened unconsciously, without Nikolai’s say-so, opening a gap big enough for you fit your body in between.

“Let me help you” you offered, sniffing away the last of your tears.

He merely shook his head.

“No.”

His tone was firm, brooking no nonsense, but you pressed on anyway.

“You’re a stubborn mule, moi Tsar” you told him, raising an eyebrow. “A scratch would not leave you in your current state. I can help you.”

Nikolai eyed you sceptically. 

“You know you don’t have to call me that” he said. “I’m not your king yet.”

Your eyes softened as you looked up at him and he found himself shifting in the chair, striving to get away from the unkempt love he glimpsed in your face.

“You have been my king since the day I met you” you replied. “You will always be my king, Nikolai Lantsov.”

He sucked in a slow, deliberate breath and made a decision. 

“All right, fine” he all but grunted. “You can help put me back together.”

As you reached for his shirt strings, he noticed your hands trembling, and felt the heat of your fingertips pressing through the material at his collarbone. You fumbled with the slim knot, eventually overcoming it, and pulled the cords free. As your hands dropped to the hem of his shirt and worked it up over his stomach, Nikolai couldn’t help the fresh grin tugging at his lips.

“Darling, if you wanted me to take off my clothes, you should have just asked.”

He expected a quip back, but instead, you just glanced away and pulled the shirt free of his head, sliding it off his arms. It left his hair mussed and your eyes dark as you searched him for the injury. It was more than a scratch, but could still have been worse. A long, inch deep gash ran along the side of his ribs, glistening wetly in the low light.

You whistled quietly and Nikolai sighed.

“I truly hope that is because of my impressive physique and not because I need stitches.”

“You need stitches” you answered flatly.

Nikolai groaned, throwing his head back again. You couldn’t help but smile.

“For a man so unafraid of anything, you sure are scared of needles” you commented, pushing yourself to your feet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

Nikolai rolled his eyes.

“Why would I, when you treat me with such gentleness?”

You said nothing, slipping out the door and returning a few minutes later with a stoppered bottle of amber liquid and an armful of clean bandages, a length of catgut and a sterilised needle. Without a word, you handed the bottle to Nikolai but didn’t wait for him to drink before starting work on his wound.

He hissed through his teeth, yanked the stopper out and rapidly swallowed a third of the crown’s whiskey. 

“Am I your king now?” he groaned, tensing as the needle passed through his skin.

“Be quiet, Sobachka” you muttered, concentrating. “Don’t make me stab you.”

“That’s what I thought.”

You worked quickly and carefully, tying off the stitching with a tiny knot and spreading a new bandage over the neat black lines. You smoothed it down, your fingers lingering on the warm skin over the edge of the white padding. Nikolai’s eyes flicked to yours, warmed a little by whiskey but still clear.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re very pretty when you’re causing men pain?” he asked blithely, two fingers wrapped loosely around the neck of the bottle.

You snorted and stood up, gathering the remnants of your work and heading for the door. His voice stopped you at the threshold, called you back to him.

“How long have we known each other?” he asked you, head tilted curiously to one side as his gaze burned a scalding path from the top of your head to the scuffed toes of your boots.

“More than ten years, moi Tsar” you said softly.

He shook his head slowly and got up, wincing as the stitches pulled at him. You took a step in his direction, but he held up a halting hand and shook his head again.

“More than ten years” he repeated slowly. “And in those ten years, how have I never seen what it looks like when you desire a man?”

Your gaze plummeted to the floor and you moved your weight from foot to foot, suddenly unsteady in your own body. Nikolai reached you, his boots entering your limited field of vision. The tools of your trade fell from your hands as one of his hands grasped your chin and raised it so that you had no choice but to look into his blue eyes, now burning with twin flames. You could smell the whiskey as he spoke, but instead of making you uncertain, it liquefied your knees and heated your stomach.

“Until tonight” he finally added, his voice low and his gaze dropping to your parted lips.

You swallowed unsteadily, knowing you were trapped, he had caught you, doe to stag.

“Please, moi Tsar” you barely whispered, not exactly sure what you were begging him for.

He shook his head at you.

“Uh uh” he murmured, arching a single eyebrow.

You opened your mouth to speak again, knowing that your next utterance would sentence you to him for the rest of your life, death withstanding.

“Nikolai...”

The bottle shattered the second his mouth bruised yours, pleasure coursing through his veins and numbing the pain in his side as his head swam, his two empty hands finding you to hold onto, molding to your hips. He eased your lips apart and swallowed your moan as the tip of his tongue brushed yours, so lightly.

He couldn’t believe there had ever been anyone else before you, as his hands mapped the contours of your body, lavishing attention on your clothed breasts when you arched into his palms. 

You pulled away slightly and traced the edges of Nikolai’s bandage with your fingers.

“We can’t” you groaned, whimpering needily as his hand wandered down your belly to tease underneath the front of your trousers. “Your stitches, Nikolai.”

He shrugged, seemingly ignoring the prominent strain in his own trousers.

“No matter” he said casually. “You know what we can do? Or, what I can do?”

You gasped and your eyelids fluttered, but you forced your eyes to remain open to watch his whole hand disappear and feel his roughened fingers begin their work.

[stray-kaz]

Impressively crafted! A great story!

Bound by blue ribbon

*not my GIF

Requested by: Anonymous - hiiii! If ya are still taking request!! Then may I get one of the ribbon scene from Rule of Wolves (I think???? I’m not surrrre) but it’s fem!reader x Nikolai? And instead of in her hair, it’s around her neck like a choker??

Just IMAGINE it with the classic character A walks down the staircase looking absolutely STUNNING and character B is s p e e c h l e s s trope! -

Dearest anon, I’m not sure I can properly convey just how much I loved this request. Like, you don’t understand, I am OBSESSED with how good this idea is! So much so that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to write anything that did it justice, but I tried my best. Hope you like it 🙏

Disclaimer (because I’m not looking to get sued): Some lines/dialogue directly borrowed from RoW, with a few minor changes. Obviously, I do not own those words and don’t claim to - they are the property of Leigh Bardugo and all rights belong to her and/or Netflix. Fanfic is for fun only; I am not making any money from this in any way.

Word count: 6Kish

Warnings: NSFW - 18+ only. Dual POV, idiots in love, fluff, the teeniest smidgen of angst if you squint, A little triumvirate cameo, more Genya than anyone - because someone needs to get these idiots together, soft!Nikolai, minimal plot, fem!reader, smut, oral sex (female receiving), P in V sex, unprotected sex (not recommended in real life!)

The party to celebrate Nikolai’s saints day was going to be beyond anything Ravka had ever seen before. Lavish decorations were being put up, the palace kitchens were working on a complicated menu, and the best musicians had been hired to perform. Nikolai hadn’t wanted such a fuss, but the triumvirate had invited every eligible maiden in the country, and most of the neighbouring countries as well, insisting that it was the perfect occasion for the king to finally choose a bride. Which was exactly why you had decided not to attend.

Nikolai had been your best friend since childhood, and you had been in love with him for more than half that time. Over the years, as you had grown from a child into a young woman, you had hoped that maybe he might see you in a romantic light, but unfortunately that hadn’t happened. You didn’t hold it against him, in fact you treasured his friendship, and you wanted only the best for him. You just weren’t sure your heart could withstand watching him fall in love with someone else.

The day of the party, you kept to your room, feigning illness. Nothing too serious, just a headache that would prevent you from attending the party, so that Nikolai could meet the potential woman of his dreams without you having to witness it. Unfortunately, sitting alone in your room all day gave you endless time to think, and your mind was determined to linger on thoughts of Nikolai with some faceless princess. Before dinner, you decided to take a bath, hoping to distract yourself. When you returned to your bedchamber, you found Genya lounging on your bed, alongside a large box.

You stared at your friend, wrapping the towel tighter around yourself. “How did you get in here? And why are you here, shouldn’t you be at the party already?”

“Unimportant,” Genya said breezily, waving her hand as if brushing the question aside, “and yes, I should, but someone had to help you get ready.”

You opened your mouth to tell her she needn’t have bothered but she cut you off with a disapproving click of her tongue. “Don’t waste your time trying to convince me you’re ill, I know that’s a lie.”

“Fine,” you huffed, “but I’m still not going, even if I wanted to - which I don’t - I have nothing to wear.”

Genya gave you a sly smile, holding out the envelope she had hidden in her hand. It bore the royal seal, and was addressed to you, but it had already been opened.

“Have you been reading my private correspondence?” You questioned, irritation bleeding into your tone.

“Mmm,” she hummed, not sounding sorry in the slightest, “it seems the king has sent you a gift. How very thoughtful of him.”

You eyed her suspiciously as you pulled the note from the envelope. The message was short, just two lines, written in Nikolai’s familiar cursive.

~ I hope you’ll wear this tonight. Lantsov blue looks good on you. N ~

Your brow furrowed in confusion. That shade of blue was reserved exclusively for the royal family. The closest you ever came to wearing it was a baby blue silk ribbon that you used to tie your hair back every day. A ribbon you had stolen from Nikolai himself, many months ago. He had been using the blue silk to tie his invention blueprints, keeping the rolls of parchment together and relatively organised when he wasn’t using them. On that afternoon, you had been wearing your hair down, but it was hot in his workshop, so you had pulled your hair back into a braid, snatching up the ribbon to secure it. You had meant to give it back, eventually, but then you had forgotten, and soon it had become a part of your daily wardrobe. You hadn’t even realised he had noticed it.

Genya opened the box to reveal a beautiful gown of pale blue silk, overlayed with a layer of tulle, embroidered in a galaxy of sparkling silver stars. You moved closer, lifting it from the box to finger the delicate fabric.

“See, problem solved.” She announced smugly.

“I can’t wear the king’s colour,” you protested.

“Clearly, he wants you to,” she argued, “would you really deny him?”

You gave her a withering look, “You know full well that I would never deny him anything,” you grumbled, “but people will talk.

“So? Let them,” she shrugged.

You bit your lip, deliberating. On the one hand, the thought of Nikolai buying a dress specially for you to wear on his birthday made your stomach flip pleasantly, but on the other hand, you had already decided not to go to the party and a pretty dress wasn’t going to change your mind. But surely it couldn’t hurt to just try it on … right?

“Well, you have to try it on, at the very least,” Genya insisted, as if she had read your mind, “a dress this beautiful deserves to be worn.”

“Alright,” you conceded, “but just for a moment.”

Genya smiled widely, clapping her hands together with glee.

The second you stepped into the dress, soft silk slipping over your skin, you knew you had made a mistake. Genya laced the corset up with practiced ease and when she was done, she stepped back to admire you. She gasped as she took in the full effect of you in the dress, and as you turned to look at yourself in the mirror you could see why. It fit you like a glove. The colour complemented your skin perfectly and the fabric clung to you in all the right places, accentuating your waist and the curve of your hips. The sweetheart neckline was so low as to almost be scandalous, putting your breasts on full display. You wondered what Nikolai had been thinking when he picked it out. If he had picked it out. Either way, now that you had seen it on, you knew you had no choice but to go to the party. A dress like this demanded to be seen. Genya fixed your hair, sweeping it into an elegant updo and leaving a few curls to fall loose around your face. You kept your jewelry light, diamond earrings and bracelet to match the stars on your dress, but none of the necklaces you tried were quite right. You didn’t want anything that would draw focus from the gown. Genya suggested your hair ribbon, and when you fastened the light blue silk around your throat as a choker, she helped you to tie it into a simple bow at the back.

“Perfect,” she declared, lips curving into a smile, and as you looked yourself over in the mirror you thought she might just be right. The two of you walked together to the ballroom, but when you got there, she dropped you off in the queue of nobles waiting to be announced, insisting you should make a grand entrance. She slipped away before you could argue, muttering something about how she couldn’t leave David unattended any longer, lest he use the opportunity to retreat to his workshop.

You waited at the top of the staircase, just out of sight, as your name was announced. Your heart pounded as you made your way down the stairs. It felt as though everyone’s eyes were on you, but then you saw Nikolai, standing at the foot of the stairs as if waiting for you, and suddenly everyone else melted away. It was just you, and him, and his eyes on yours like you were the only thing that mattered to him.

-------------------------------------------------------

Nikolai was having a dismal evening. So far, he had suffered through what felt like a lifetime of conversations, the longest of which was with the Kerch ambassador, a pompous peacock of a man with an impressively large moustache and unfortunately low IQ, followed by a highly uncomfortable discussion about politics with both the Shu and Fjerdan delegates. To top it off, every time he managed to escape, Zoya would appear with a new princess for him to meet, each one less suited than the last, and he would be forced to spend several painful minutes listening to them talk about their own virtues, of which there were many, apparently.

It seemed like everywhere he turned was some ambassador offering him thinly veiled threats disguised as polite conversation, or one of his ministers trying to push their own agenda whilst they had him alone, or worst of all, another pretty, but vapid, young lady, waiting to be thrust upon him as a potential bride. In truth, he wasn’t interested in any of it, because all he found himself thinking about was you.

As the minutes passed, he started to worry that you wouldn’t come, that you would leave him to deal with the vultures all on his own. And more than that, he worried that he had overstepped with his gift. He had been full of confidence when he helped to design it, chosen every detail to compliment you perfectly, but now he was second guessing himself. Would you like the gown? Would you understand his meaning, about you looking good in blue? Would you return his feelings? He wasn’t sure.

He was contemplating this - whilst only half listening to one of his ministers drone on about the dangers of allowing farmers to have control over their own crops, when Genya suddenly appeared at his side. She politely excused them both from the conversation, pointedly ignoring the minister’s indignation at being interrupted, and looped her arm through Nikolai’s, pulling him away. She led him quickly across the room to stand near the bottom of the stairs.

“Stay right here.” She instructed him sternly, and Nikolai could only blink at her, perplexed, before she was gone, melting back into the crowd without even giving him a chance to respond.

He felt a prickle of annoyance at being ordered around, honestly, wasn’t he the king? He considered walking away just purely on principle, no matter how childish that might be, but then he heard your name being announced, and he wondered if Genya had known. He looked up, his heart hammering in his chest, and when you walked out onto the staircase, he thought it might have stopped beating altogether. You were wearing the gown he had picked out, your hair curled and styled perfectly, and around your throat, that scrap of pale blue silk that haunted his dreams. Usually, you wore it in your hair, and it was eminently practical, but it had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it. Seeing it around your throat made that idea all the more appealing. You were stunning. He realised his imagination had not done you justice, could not even come close. The sight of you quite literally took his breath away.

He reached out almost automatically as you got near enough, offering you his hand, and you took it, letting him guide you down the last few steps.

-------------------------------------------------------

“Hi,” you breathed once you were standing face to face, butterflies fluttering in your stomach, but Nikolai just stared at you, slack-jawed, for what felt like an eternity. You began to fidget, feeling self-conscious.

“Do I look ok?” You asked, smoothing down your dress nervously.

He shook his head. “‘Ok’ would be a gross understatement,” he said, “You are a vision.”

Your face lit up in a smile, pleased at the compliment, and you could feel the warmth of a blush spreading across your cheeks. Nikolai dropped your hand, and you almost mourned the loss, but then he pressed his hand to the small of your back instead, and all you could focus on was that intimate point of contact as he led you away from the stairs and further into the room.

“I was beginning to think you had abandoned me,” Nikolai said, his mouth tipping up into a small smile.

“I wasn’t sure I’d come,” you found yourself admitting quietly, “but then someone sent me this beautiful gown, and I changed my mind.”

“You like it?”

“I do,” you assured him, “Thank you. It’s a very generous gift, although it’s your birthday, shouldn’t I be the one giving you a gift?”

“You deserve it,” he said, voice low in your ear, “and seeing you in this dress is a gift for me.”

You were sure you were blushing again. Was he flirting with you? Surely not, that had to be wishful thinking on your part.

“Do you want to dance?” You asked, changing the subject lest you embarrass yourself.

“Yes,” he murmured as he took your hand again, leading you out onto the floor.

He held you close as you moved together through the steps of the dance, effortlessly in sync. You focused completely on him, enjoying the intimate feeling of being pressed against him, his eyes on yours and his hands warm on your body. Being so close to him was the sweetest kind of torture, and you quickly began to feel overheated, as your mind inevitably drifted to all the other ways you could enjoy being close to him, of his hands in much more intimate places. You looked around, trying to clear your head, and you realised that it hadn’t been just your imagination, people were staring, but you found that you didn’t care at all. As your eyes met his again, you were surprised to see that same feeling of desire reflected back at you. Maybe it wasn’t just wishful thinking after all.

When the dance ended, he asked if you wanted to get some air, and you agreed, following him across the room and out into the hallway.

--------------------------------------------------------

Nikolai pulled you into an alcove, just off the main hallway. It was quieter here, with less chance of being seen or overheard.

“Genya and Zoya won’t be happy when they realize you’ve ditched your own party,” you told him, “They’re determined to find you a wife tonight.”

“I don’t care,” he said honestly, “and I’m not interested in any of those girls.”

“You must marry, Kolya. You can’t put it off forever,” you insisted, even though it pained you to say it. “You’ll have to choose someone eventually.”

“You’re the only one I would choose.” He confessed. The words were out before he thought better of them, and there was no way to pull them back.

You studied him carefully, your heart racing. “As your friend?” You asked, offering him a chance to right the ship, to take you back to familiar waters.

He could have lied, could have given you a hundred different easy replies. Instead, he said, “As my queen.”

“Because I’m dependable,” you said cautiously, tentatively, “or because I know all of your secrets?”

"I do trust you more than myself sometimes- and I think very highly of myself." He said, and you huffed a laugh, convinced that any moment now he would take it all back.

“But I would make you my queen because I want you. I want you all the time."

You wanted to tell him that you wanted him too, that he was the only man you had ever wanted, or ever would want, but it wasn’t that simple. He was your best friend, and he was also your king, and you had to be practical. “As your friend, I should tell you that would be a terrible decision. You should make a political choice, take some foreign princess as your bride. Someone who was born to be a queen.”

He met your eyes, voice steady and earnest when he said, "As your king, I should tell you that no one could dissuade me. No prince and no power could make me stop wanting you."

Nikolai felt drunk. You were going to laugh at him. You would knock him senseless and tell him he had no right. But he couldn't seem to stop.

"I would give you a crown if I could," he said. "I would show you the world from the prow of a ship. I would choose you, as my friend, as my queen, as my bride. I would give you a sapphire the size of an acorn." He reached out, fingers brushing over the blue silk ribbon tied around your throat. "And all I would ask in return is that you wear this damnable ribbon on our wedding day."

You should say no, you should tell him he was making a mistake, but you couldn’t. You wanted him too, and not just tonight, but forever. You wanted a future with him, and if you closed your eyes, you could see it, as clear as day. Standing at an altar set before the Saints as a priest named you man and wife. Mornings spent together, eating breakfast and sipping coffee while you discussed the day ahead, and nights spent tangled together in his sheets, sweaty and sated. Soft touches and words of affirmation whispered in the early morning light. Two - or maybe three - golden-haired children, with your eyes and his smile, running about the palace, happy and loved, and constantly getting into mischief. A million inside jokes, and shared looks, and fights about nothing, easily forgiven. A lifetime of moments, big and small, side by side with him. You wanted it all.

“Yes,” you said simply, meeting his gaze.

“Yes?” He repeated, as if he didn’t dare to believe it.

He cupped his hand to your cheek, his palm warm against your jaw. His thumb brushed lightly across your cheekbone, and when your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip, his eyes followed the movement. You wanted him to kiss you, so badly that you ached with the need of it. You tilted your head up slightly, lips parted in invitation.

He dipped his head, then paused, lips hovering just inches from yours as he searched your eyes, waiting for permission. The heat of his gaze was like flames across your skin. You leaned into him, pressing a hand to his chest and you could feel his heart racing beneath your palm. “Yes,” you said again, barely above a whisper, and he bent his head forward, finally, touching his lips to yours. His kiss was soft and sweet, just the barest brush of his lips over yours, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. You made a needy sound, chasing his lips when he moved away, and his mouth curved into a smile.

He pressed you back against the wall, his hands settling on your hips and then his mouth was on yours once more, and this time there was nothing tentative about it. His tongue met yours hungrily, desperately, swallowing your sounds of pleasure. You grabbed a handful of his shirt, crushing the fabric beneath your fingers as you hauled him closer, but it still wasn’t close enough. You reached down with your free hand, tugging your skirts up so that you could curve your leg up around him and he groaned low in his throat, his hand immediately dropping from your waist to the bare skin of your thigh.

He pushed his hips forward, and you could feel the proof of his arousal, pressing against you intimately. You gasped, tipping your head back against the wall. He ducked his head, his tongue darting out to taste the smooth skin of your exposed throat, and he nipped lightly at your pulse point before trailing kisses down to the dip of your shoulder and along your collarbone.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, teeth just barely grazing your skin, and your eyebrows knitted in confusion, wasn’t he doing that already?  

“I want to taste you,” he said, his fingers skating up and over your inner thigh to press at you lightly over the lace of your underwear. Oh. The thought of having his mouth on you, there, sent a wave of heat straight to your core.

“Yes,” you murmured after just a brief hesitation, and his smile turned wicked as he sank to his knees in front of you.

You hiked your dress higher, bunching the fabric above your hips so that you could watch him as he dragged your underwear slowly down your thighs and helped you step out of them. He stuffed the scrap of lace into his pocket, before he ran his hand up your calf, bending your knee and then lifting your leg to rest it over his shoulder. He kissed a path from your knee up your inner thigh towards your centre and then he stopped, warm breath ghosting over you and eyes fixed on your core, until you began to squirm. He stilled you with a firm hand on your hip.

“Nikolai,” you started, but you were robbed of the power of speech when he leaned in, his face disappearing between your thighs.

--------------------------------------------------------

He licked a broad stripe across you with the flat of his tongue and you gasped, your hand shooting down to fist in his hair. He licked into you slowly, nose bumping your clit, until you were writhing and panting above him. His fingers worked you over, drawing lazy circles over your clit as he explored every inch of you with his lips and tongue. He dipped two fingers inside you, moving them in and out, crooking them slightly to search for that spot that would have you seeing stars and he knew he had found it when you moaned, clenching around him.

Nikolai had always enjoyed this, drawing pleasure from his partner with his mouth and hands, and he prided himself on being good at it, but he had never found it such a turn on before. His pants were uncomfortably tight, and he thought he could probably come untouched, just from the taste of you and the sounds you made. He turned his head for a moment to draw a ragged breath, and he smiled against your inner thigh when you whined impatiently, using your grip on his hair to drag him back where you wanted him.

He went easily, happy to oblige you, and this time he closed his lips around your clit, sucking it against his tongue. You cried out, your hand tightening in his hair hard enough to make his scalp prickle. He kept the pressure of his mouth gentle but non-stop, as your thighs began to shake, your hips jerking against his face. He couldn’t hold back his moan as he felt your body shuddering, his mouth flooded with wetness when you found your release. He worked you through it, lapping at you gently until finally, you pushed him away with a shaky hand.

He shifted from his knees back to his feet, and you reached for him as he stood, wanting to keep him close. His hair was sticking up at all angles, mussed by your hands, his cheeks flushed, and his lips tilted in a lopsided smirk. He looked utterly debauched in the best possible way. You swiped your thumb across his bottom lip before you leaned in to kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue, and you were surprised to find that it wasn’t unpleasant.

You reached a hand down between your bodies, to cup him over his pants and he groaned, pushing himself into your palm. A door opened somewhere, the sounds of the party drifting out into the hallway, and you froze, the illusion of privacy shattered.

The noise from further down the hallway brought Nikolai back to his senses so suddenly, he felt like he’d been doused in ice water. Had he completely lost his mind? Your first time together shouldn’t be like this, frantic and dirty, pushed up against a wall in a public place, where anyone could discover the two of you at any moment.

“I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly, “I got carried away, I shouldn’t have … this wasn’t…”

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, trying to find the right words. You deserved better from him. You deserved a white veil, and matching rings, and a promise made at an alter set before the Saints. He wanted to give you all of that, and he would, but not tonight. Tonight, he could at least give you a soft bed, and gentle hands, declarations of love whispered in the dark. Romance, because you deserved that if nothing else.

He pulled back, letting you drop your skirts down and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You felt your face fall before you could stop it.

“Oh,” was all the response you could muster, the sting of disappointment sharp, and so bitter you could almost taste it. You closed your eyes, willing away the tears that threatened to form. Was he saying this was a mistake? Had he changed his mind? Had you done something wrong?

“I only meant, we should go somewhere more private,” he said, watching you carefully.

“Oh,” you said again, relief flooding through you.

“Unless… if you’d rather return to the party, that’s fine too.” He clarified.

“I don’t,” you said quickly, and you almost blushed at how eager you sounded.

“No?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow at you.

You gave him a smile that you hoped was sultry. “No. Take me to bed,” you purred, and you knew you’d hit the mark when his eyes darkened in response.

He took your hand, guiding you through the palace hallways until you reached his rooms. He opened the door for you, ever the gentleman, allowing you to enter first, and then he followed you inside, locking the door swiftly behind him. There would be no more interruptions tonight, not if he could help it.

--------------------------------------------------------

You came to a stop by the foot of the bed, waiting for him to join you. He crossed the room in just a few quick strides, pulling you into his arms, and then his mouth was on yours again, hot and demanding. You let your hands roam, over his shoulders and into his hair, before the desperate need to feel his bare skin against yours took over, and you set to work on removing his clothes.

Your nimble fingers made light work of the knot in his cravat, pulling it loose and free of his collar in just a few short movements, and you quickly moved on to his shirt, opening the first few buttons. He pulled back for just enough time to yank the shirt off over his head, and then he was back to kissing you like his life depended on it. When you moved to unbutton his pants, your knuckles inadvertently brushing up against his hardness, he groaned low in his throat and pulled away again, this time to spin you around so that he could unlace your corset and free you from your dress.

He placed kisses across your shoulder, and down the length of your spine as it was revealed to him and once you were completely nude before him, he wrapped an arm around your waist to tug you back against him, his clothed arousal against your bare ass. You brought your hands up to your throat to untie your ribbon, but he stopped you. “Allow me, he murmured, voice low and rough in your ear. He hooked a finger into the bow at the back of your neck, tugging gently until it unravelled, soft silk sliding over your skin, and then he curled it up to put into his pocket, joining your underwear from earlier.

He cupped your breast, thumb circling your nipple until it hardened into a peak, while his other hand travelled down the side of your ribs and across your lower abdomen to your core. You moaned as his fingers found their mark, dipping inside you to gather the wetness there before rubbing gentle circles over your clit. Only once you were panting, your head falling back against his shoulder, and your hips moving in small circles along with his hand, did he nudge you in the direction of the bed. You took the hint, though you were loath to give up the delicious friction of his talented fingers. You moved to sit on the edge of the bed first, watching with bated breath while he took off the last of his own clothes.

Once he was undressed, you scooted backwards onto the bed, so that you were positioned comfortably on the pillows, and he climbed over you, covering the length of your body with his. You gasped as you felt his erection pressing against you, almost, but not quite, in the right place. He pinned one of your hands to the bed beside your head, fingers twining with yours as he dipped his head to kiss you, licking into your mouth until you were both breathless. You bent your leg up around his hip, opening yourself up for him instinctively and he kept his eyes on yours as he flexed his hips, entering you at an agonizingly slow pace. You were warm, and wet, and perfect, and you dug your heel into the back of his thigh, urging him deeper. He groaned, his eyes slipping closed and his hand squeezing yours tightly.

Once he was fully seated inside you, he had to stop. He let his head drop to your shoulder and he held completely still, desperately fighting to get a grip on his self-control. Late at night when he lay alone in the dark, his wildest fantasies playing out behind his eyelids, it was your face he saw and your name on his lips when he came. He had dreamed of having you so many times, in a thousand different ways, but nothing could compare to the reality. It was as if he was suddenly a boy of sixteen again, green and eager, ready to spill himself at the slightest hint of friction. You shifted beneath him, wriggling impatiently and only once he was sure he would not embarrass himself, did he raise his head to look at you.

“Sorry,” he said, the corner of his mouth tipping up into an amused little smirk, “did you need something?”

You just barely resisted the urge to smack him, and instead clenched your inner muscles around him, watching with a smug sense of satisfaction as his eyelids fluttered, the smirk dropping from his face.

“Fuck,” he cursed, his eyes dark with arousal as they met yours, but he still didn’t move.

“Please,” you begged, and you would have been embarrassed by how needy you sounded if not for the way that his hips bucked in response.

He dipped his head, slanting his mouth over yours as he withdrew slowly, almost completely, only to fill you again with a sharp thrust of his hips. His hand was warm in yours, palms pressed together, and fingers intertwined, the connection anchoring you as he started to move in earnest, settling into a perfect, maddening rhythm that was somehow altogether too much, and yet not enough at the same time.

The muscles in his biceps were straining with the effort of holding himself up and you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, pulling him down on to you until his chest was flush with yours. He nuzzled at your throat, as he maintained his languid pace, drawing out your mutual pleasure for as long as he possibly could, and you were torn between the desperate need to climax, and the desire to stay entwined with him like this forever.

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When he felt the beginnings of his own climax, Nikolai reluctantly released your hand so that he could slip his between your bodies to thumb at your clit. Within moments, he felt you tightening around him, your orgasm beginning to ripple through you, and he kept the movement of his hips slow and steady, drawing it out until you were writhing beneath him. He removed his hand as the last tremors ran through your body, and he lifted his head, mouth finding yours, as he finally allowed himself release. He sheathed himself fully inside you, as he shuddered and came.

He collapsed onto you, pressing you into the mattress, and you stroked your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, holding him close, as you both struggled to catch your breath. Your bodies were tangled together, completely enveloped by each other, and neither of you wanted to move.

“I love you,” he murmured after a moment, turning his head so that he could press a kiss to your temple.

“I love you too,” you assured him, holding him tighter.

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In the morning, you had woken early and taken the opportunity to study Nikolai in the light of the sunrise, his face relaxed and boyish in sleep, and when he woke, he had nudged you onto your back and made love to you again. That had been followed by a bath, in which you both ended up dirtier than you had been upon getting in, and a second one - strictly for getting clean, and one horrifyingly awkward conversation with your maid, during which the girl giggled and blushed furiously, as you begged her to bring you something to wear. All of this meant that it was late, long past noon, when the pair of you finally emerged from his room.

You walked hand in hand to the council room, where the triumvirate were already assembled. Genya and Zoya were standing over the table, heads bent as they looked over a map, talking quietly together. David sat across from them, scribbling away, fingers stained with ink. Genya lifted her head as you entered, smiling knowingly at you.

Nikolai cleared his throat. “I… well, we, have something important to tell you all,” he announced. “We’re getting married.” Subtle as ever.

“Thank the Saints,” Zoya muttered, without even looking up, “I thought I’d be old and grey before you two ever got your act together.”

“I told you it would work!” Genya said gleefully.

You and Nikolai shared a confused look. “What worked?” You asked.

“The party,” Zoya explained, speaking very slowly, as if she were talking to a pair of particularly dim children, “the one we planned, to push you both into admitting you’re in love with each other, obviously.”

You both just stared at her.

“Someone had to do it,” she continued with a shrug, “Saints knows neither of you were going to do it on your own.”

“I would have done it without your intervention,” Nikolai said defensively, “eventually.”

“Yes, of course you would,” Genya said mildly, her tone just on the edge of patronising.

Nikolai pinched the bridge of his nose, screwing his eyes shut in frustration. “So, just to be clear - you conceived an elaborate plot, which involved throwing an expensive party with hundreds of guests, and making me suffer through hours of mind-numbing conversation with prospective “brides”, all so that you could manipulate us into confessing our feelings for each other?”

“I wouldn’t say manipulate,” Genya objected, “more like give you a loving shove in the right direction.”

“A brilliant plan, really,” David piped up, “and, clearly, effective.”

Genya smiled fondly at him. “Thank you, dear.”

And suddenly it all made sense, the way Genya had come to insist you go to the party, the way she had pushed you to wear the dress even though it was Lantsov blue, the fact that she had made you wait to be announced, and that Nikolai had mysteriously been waiting for you the moment you entered the room. The mysterious coincidence that all the young ladies Zoya had introduced to him were almost comically unsuitable. They had engineered it all.

You couldn’t stop the grin that spread over your face. Perhaps you should have been upset by the idea that they had manipulated you both, but honestly you weren’t. You shared another look with Nikolai. He shook his head exasperatedly, but he was smiling now too, and you knew he shared your feelings on the matter. This whole charade might have been ridiculous, but how could you hold it against them, when it had resulted in the happiest night of your lives.

[swanimagines]

BOUND IN DARKNESS | NIKOLAI LANTSOV

Summary: You and Nikolai see nightmares about the Darkling every night - making your duties as the King and Queen of Ravka hard. But you both know you have to push through.

Darkling was dead, yet the damage he had left remained.

Just one night of peaceful sleep was unreachable, and hoping for it was futile. You and Nikolai both woke up at some point every night to the image of the Darkling plaguing your dreams. You held each other then, shaking slightly, trying to rest just little longer so your tiredness wouldn’t show as much. Genya helped you hide your eyebags, before you dressed up and were going in front of people once again, putting on your brave face and trying to act like nothing was happening, you weren’t damaged. You needed to show that Ravka was strong, that their King and Queen would thrive and show them how to be strong again. Ravka could and would be rebuilt. Your people would be able to recover, and the Kingdom would become whole again.

The court alkemi had made you a potion that basically prevented your brains from total exhaustion, as it would have been dangerous on the long run - usually this severe nightmares were treated by resting and taking it easy, but you didn’t have that option if you didn’t want to look like weak rulers. Vulnerability was also an important part to show if you wanted your people to feel closer to you, but time for that wasn’t now. So the vials were vital for your survival during this time, and you rewarded the alkemi handsomely for making the potion for you. But he, too, reminded you that it isn’t a miracle potion you could consume for very long. Its side effects would begin coming after a week, and after that they’d become more and more severe with every vial you’d consume and eventually those could end up killing you.

So you had to avoid using those too - gulping them down only if you felt like you wouldn’t get through the day without it. It didn’t mean days without it were easy though. One of those moments were now, you and Nikolai having a meeting with your advisors. The chair you sat on started feeling impossibly comfy, the words your advisors spoke to you blended together, they echoed in the room as you slowly felt your body falling asleep.

“Moya tsaritsa, are you alright?” your advisor asked, snapping you out from your stupor and you cleared your throat, nodding and blinking rapidly.

“Yes, I just need some water,” you croaked out, feeling Nikolai’s hand grasp yours and you squeezed it back. Your maid came over in a few moments, handing you a glass of water and you smiled at her softly before taking a sip from your glass.

The water brought a welcomed burst of energy as it made its way down your throat, and you put the glass down, nodding for the advisor to continue. You knew you had a duty at hand, and it couldn’t wait - you had to push through whatever it needed.

Nikolai squeezed your hand lightly again and you shared a brief look, and you could see weariness plaguing him too. But he was better in hiding it. At that moment, you wished you had been raised as a royal, they had training even on how to stay composed and remain alert even when exhausted like this - probably because during wars, rest wasn’t an option.

You tried your best to follow the example of your husband, listening to the proposals and checking through documents, occasionally interjecting the discussions with questions, but it wasn’t long before their voices began to blend into a constant hum again, and you couldn’t really hear what they said. You just saw their lips moving and hands gesturing, but you no longer heard what they said.

Nikolai seemingly sensed your struggle and nudged your leg with his own under the table, an unspoken reminder to remain alert. You straightened your posture again, and the advisor paused again for a moment, but then continued as you were following along again. You used all your willpower to stay alert and reminded yourself that this was the only way so you would get to rest sooner today - how you would get to rest for days. Once this was over, you wouldn’t have to sit here listening to plans and trying to act like everything was okay.

When the sun started to set and the advisors finally left to their own quarters, you were letting out a sigh of relief, knowing that now you would be able to rest - even if it meant you would see your loved ones being cut in half again. You had to try to rest. Seeing nightmares and crying in Nikolai’s arms was better than sleeping while you were expected to listen.

You stood up, with Nikolai supporting you by the waist and you walked to your bed chambers together and immediately after you had taken off your jewelry, you were falling onto the bed together, wishing to be able to take even a nap before dinner without nightmares. Nikolai spooned you, his other arm wrapped tightly around your waist while his other hand grasped your hand above your head on the pillow.

As children, you both had heard the story that sleeping while touching a friend or a loved one guarantees no nightmares. It hadn’t worked til now, and you knew it wouldn’t work this time either - but it was still more comforting to wake up and notice you’re safe, with Nikolai holding you - and for him, to see you alive and breathing in his arms.

It wasn’t a situation you wanted to find yourself from when you married Nikolai while he was still Sturmhond, but the sense of duty this situation had forged into you was something you knew you should follow. For the people of Ravka, if not else. They needed to see they were safe now - they had a strong King, a strong Queen, ones who cared for them.

So you night after night, you had to try to rest. To wake up, hold each other, listen to each other, comfort each other, try to fall asleep again. Something good in the middle of this darkness, you needed to remind yourselves what was worth fighting for. Darkling was dead, for good this time. His shadow monsters weren’t attacking people anymore, things were better than in ages. Uniting Ravka was a task not any ruler would be able to accomplish, but you knew that with Nikolai, you would do it. 

You let your eyes droop closed, keeping this in mind, telling yourself that some dead shadow man wasn’t going to drag you two down. You would beat this. Together.

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[steponmeinejghafa]

Dance With Me

Summary: Nina forces you to come to a ball with her, and soon finds out why you didn’t want to be there in the first place.

Nina Zenik x fem!Kostyk!Reader

Warnings: Stressful social setting

Note: In this, pretend Nina never went to Fjerda in KoS. This is a little before those events, but definitely after Nikolai renounced his title as Sturmhond. And you’re a Durast, just so you know. And slightly neurodivergent. Very slightly.

———

You were quietly minding your own business at the Little Palace, helping some younger Fabrikators with their abilities. Your teacher had assigned them to you earlier that week, knowing you could help them as much as possible, with your never-ending patience and calming demeanour.

All of a sudden, Nina burst into the room, frightening you and one of the other children, who accidentally threw the metal ball he was practising with at you with his power.

“Saints alive-“ you wheezed, holding your side where the object had collided with you. “Um- why don’t you go there in the corner and practise hand movements, hm?”

“Sorry, Y/n…” the boy said sheepishly. You smiled and patted his head before he ran off to join his friends on the other side of the room.

“Nina,” you breathed out, looking at her practically vibrating with excitement. “What was so important that you had to burst in so…loudly?”

She was clutching a letter in her hands and squealed, “Nikolai’s planned a ball for absolutely no reason!”

“Lovely for you,” you smiled and kissed her forehead. “Forgive my asking, but…what does that have to do with me?”

“He’s invited you, me, Tamar, Nadia, Zoya, and the others, so you have got to come with me!” She giggled.

Your heart dropped to your knees at the very thought of going to a ball, where people danced expertly, knew how to woo a lady, and definitely didn’t step on their partner’s toes while waltzing.

“Um…my love, may we discuss this a little later?” You asked, looking around the room, any where but at her.

“Of course,” she smiled. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes,” you smiled. “It’s all good, just…I need to think it over.”

“Lovely!” She clapped her hands joyfully and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, which was punctuated by a dragged out ‘ew’ from the children.

Nina laughed and nodded, mouthing, ‘I should go,’ before squeezing your hand and going out.

Later that evening, you were, again, minding your own business after having returned to the royal palace, when she burst in yet again, making you almost upset your ink bottle over the paper you were writing on.

“My-my dear, if you could just knock before entering it would be far better-“ you laughed nervously, pushing your chair back as she planted herself on your lap. Your arms instinctively wrapped around her waist, and you leaned up, kissing her cheek before smiling.

“Did you think it over?” She asked, leaning into your touch as you rested your cheek against the back of her shoulder.

You sighed, “I did, and I don’t- I don’t think I want to go…”

“Why not?” She asked, and you could practically hear her pout. “It’s a lovely evening to go for! There’s dancing, there’s music, there’s food…”

“Um…I think we can get that at any posh place in the city,” you admitted. “I just…I don’t want to go.”

“But darling, please,” she whined, turning so that her lower back rested against the edge of your table. Her arms looped around your neck as her soft green eyes met your e/c ones. “I really want to go with you! It’s been ages since we last went to an event together!”

You sighed and gave in, “Alright, but I will not dance.”

She gasped, “But why?!”

“I draw the line at dancing, my dear,” you said. “Please let it be enough that I agree to go.”

She decided not to press the matter further, and smiled brightly, her eyes grinning and her entire face lighting up. “I love you,” she said, before leaning down to kiss your lips gently.

“And I, you,” you said softly, smiling against her lips.

—Time Skip—

The day of the ball came faster than expected, and you were a nervous wreck as you and the others got ready for the festivities.

“What’s got you all jittery, Y/n?” Zoya asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re trembling like a leaf in a storm.”

“Zoya, have you met Y/n?” Nadia laughed. “She’s like her brother, she hates social gatherings like these.”

“So she’s a little baby,” Tamar joked, poking you in the side playfully.

“Don’t be mean, now,” Genya chided them all as she tailored her hair a little redder. “Y/n just finds them mildly uncomfortable. As does David.”

“No, no, I agree with them,” you nodded, pulling on the jacket which went with your suit. “I hate social gatherings.”

“Nina, how is it that you fell in love with her?” Zoya laughed, braiding her hair so she could twist it into a bun. “She’s the exact opposite of you.”

“What can I say? I’ve got a thing for the quiet ones,” Nina giggled, coming over and kissing your cheek. “Lace me up, would you darling?”

You were already fidgety, and thankfully, lacing up your girlfriend’s dress helped quite a bit. “I was bullied into attending,” you admitted, earning a laugh from all of them. Confusion shadowed over your face as you frowned a little, “Why is that funny?”

“It just is, N/n,” Tamar ruffled your hair, earning a disgruntled noise from you as you gently pushed her hand away.

“I will…um…check on the boys,” you nodded, “Yes, I’ll go check on them.”

You hurried out of the room before anyone could stop you, counting your steps as you went to Nikolai’s massive dressing room, knowing it was precisely 203 steps away from Zoya’s, where you had been a moment ago.

You entered after knocking, and sat down on a small chair right beside a mirror.

“We’re the girls teasing you again?” Nikolai chuckled as he put his white shirt on. “Or were you just coming to visit?”

“I don’t know what they were doing, actually,” you frowned. “But I do know I don’t want to go to the ball.”

“Then don’t go,” Tolya said as if it was he most obvious thing in the world as he combed his hair back. Ball or not, he was still dressing as sharply as a soldier.

“You see, as a fact, Nina does not really enjoy missing any social gathering,” you said. “And I, on the other hand, would rather die than go to one.”

Nikolai began to wear his tie and laughed, “Am I really such a nuisance for organising these gatherings that you would rather die than attend them?”

“No, I-“ you paused, analysing his statement. “Was that a joke?”

“Yes, Y/n, yes it was,” he grinned, also ruffling your hair.

“Why does everyone keep doing that?” You mumbled, fixing your hair again.

“I agree with my sister,” came your brother’s similarly quiet voice. “I cannot say I enjoy being at such big events.”

“I’d rather be building something,” you nodded, to which David made a noise of agreement.

“Well, I can’t say you can just disagree with what Nina and Genya have said,” Tolya shrugged. “I have seen the two of them. They almost exist only for gatherings.”

“Y/n, you’ve worn something far too drab, did the others say nothing about it?” Nikolai said, looking at you.

You looked at your plain black suit, neatly pressed and creaseless. “What’s wrong with this? It’s my best suit!”

“For a funeral, maybe,” Interjected Tolya.

“Now you both are bullying me,” you frowned.

Nikolai went to his closet and pulled out a suit which looked far richer than yours, which had a white shirt, white pants, and a coat which had gold buttons all the way down the front. A thick gold border went down the length of it, and to finish it with a slightly feminine look, a delicate, spidery pattern of lace was embroidered onto the cuffs.

“Go on and try it,” Nikolai suggested, giving you the hanger on which it was kept and pushing you towards the changing screen.

You went in and tried it on, it fitting perfectly. The thick, almost kefta-like material of the coat felt nice under your fidgety fingertips, and the soft silk fabric of the shirt was welcoming on your skin. You’d never felt more confident than you did then, standing in a King’s attire.

“Let’s see how it looks, my friend!” Called out Tolya. You emerged from behind the screen, feeling your confidence give a little way for some amount of shyness at the attention.

“Damn,” Nikolai said. “I’d say Nina is going to be very happy.”

“She does say she loves me in blue,” you admitted, your hands already fidgeting with the hem of the coat, feeling the slightly prickly gold border against your fingertips.

“If you like the suit, you can keep it,” Nikolai grinned. “You look absolutely stunning in it. I have to say, you pull it off better than I do.”

You caught your brother’s eye, and he hummed in acknowledgment, nodding his head slightly. You both, even as children, had almost always communicated like this. With subtle hand gestures, eye movements, and nods.

After a little while of chatting, Nikolai exhaled sharply as he dusted off his coat sleeves. “Right, I will be on my way down to welcome the guests.”

“Hooray…” you said, with little enthusiasm. “That was sarcasm, by the way.”

“Well done,” Tolya patted you on the back. “It’s practically impossible to tell.”

You frowned, “Actually, I was being rather obvious about it…”

The giant laughed and led you out, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Never change, Y/n.”

“Um, I’ll go find Nina,” you nodded and walked off.

When your girlfriend saw you in the suit, her jaw dropped. As did everyone else’s in the room.

“I love how you look in blue,” grinned Nina as she ran her hands down your shoulders to your waist.

You smiled slightly and whispered a thank you, blushing a bright red.

“Guys, it’s nearly eight o clock, the guests should be arriving now,” admitted Nadia as she looked at the clock on the wall. She looked at both you and Nina, adding, “Now stop making moon eyes at each other and get your backsides downstairs.”

You nodded as Nina took you by the hand, leading you downstairs, while the others followed suit.

“I’m nervous,” you said.

“Don’t be,” giggled Nina. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“I hope that wasn’t a joke…” you mumbled.

The ballroom filled up pretty fast, with the soft music of the band floating through the crowd. Men danced with their ladies in graceful two-steps, otherwise they whirled around in a fast-paced foxtrot. You stood at the end of the dance floor, watching closely while Nina and Nadia danced together, laughing hysterically.

There were too many people, though. Your skin crawled at the sudden thickness of the air, and you couldn’t really process the whole situation entirely. Sounds mashed together, the scent of perfume was choking, and the hum of people talking was getting annoying.

You were immediately broken out of your little freak-out when Nina caught your hand.

“Why is my gorgeous girlfriend standing here, alone, not dancing?” She asked, leaning up to kiss your lips.

“I…” you shook your head and whispered, “I’m just tired.”

“Hm…” she hummed in thought, trying to figure out what was wrong. “Do you mind telling me why you don’t want to dance with me?”

You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you quietly replied, “I don’t know how to dance…”

Her eyes lit up as she held your face in her hands, and a smile tugged at her lips as she chuckled, “Was that all? You could’ve asked me to teach you!”

“I didn’t know how to ask…” you replied sheepishly.

She pulled you onto the dance floor where fewer people were swaying together, and she said, “Put your hand on my waist and hold the other,”

You did just so, and she smiled before guiding you towards doing a box step. You marvelled at how lovely a teacher she was, focusing solely on her voice.

“One, two, three, four, five, six,” you muttered under your breath. Nina laughed and squeezed your hand with hers, trying not to wince when you stepped on her toes with your hard leather shoes.

As the evening ended, you both collapsed into bed, tired for different reasons after having changed int more comfortable attire.

“You stepped more on my feet than you did the floor,” she chuckled.

“I will have you know that I was on beat,” you said. “You had it coming.”

“Well…you weren’t bad,” she nodded. “I must admit.”

You pulled her atop you and hugged her close, whispering, “Thank you for teaching me,”

“No problem, my love,” Nina replied, kissing your cheek. “It’s been a long night…” she sighed, sinking further into your touch.

“We should get some sleep,” you replied, tracing shapes on her back with your fingertips.

So there you both lay together, seeing comfort in each others embrace as the night went by, with its dark blue sky speckled with stars, and the wind blowing silently through the trees in the garden below.

———

I hope you enjoyed this one! Feel free to request!

[wittyminds]

Requests are open

I'm a new writer here and really want to start creating stories so if you have any requests i'll do my best!

Characters i'll do:

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Regulus Black

Steve Harrington

Eddie Roundtree/Loving

Steven Meeks, Charlie Dalton, Neil Perry, Knox Overstreet

Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark

Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani

Bradley Bradshaw

George Weasley, Ron Weasley, Newt Scamander

Jess Mariano

JJ Maybank

Nikolai Lantsov

Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield/Tom Holland)

What i wont write

Inappropriate relationships

[islayhawkin]

Character list

(or all the characters I ever had a crush on)

I'm taking one shot requests for all of these characters and HC requests for all the fandoms:

HP universe

Ominis gaunt Remus lupin Barty crouch jr. Newt scamander Charlie weasley

RDR2

Arthur morgan Kieran duffy

Marvel

Comic! Clint barton "hawkeye" Jack thompson Matt murdock "daredevil" Miles morales "spiderman"

The witcher 3

Cirilla riannon

Sherlock

sherlock holmes

COD

Captain John price Simon "Ghost" riley

Haikyu!!

Sawamura daichi

Peaky blinders

Finn shelby Michael grey

Stranger things

Steve harrington

Percy jackson/Riordianverse

Grover underwood Nyssa barrera Charles beckendorf Connor stoll Gemini Twain

The maze runner

Newt

Grishaverse

Nikolai lantsov Tolya yul-bataar

HTTYD

Hiccup haddock

Heartbreak high

Douglas "cash" piggot

The artful dodger

Jack dawkins

Rings of Power

Elrond peredhel

Ryan gosling

Colt seavers | the fall guy Sierra six | the gray man jacob palmer | crazy, stupid, love.

The night agent

Peter Sutherland

Lockwood & Co

Anthony Lockwood

[jahayla-parker]

Hello, may I please request a Nikolai x female reader fic where she gets menstrual migraines please, currently battling through the thick of it

Royal Pains : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

Descr: 1.6k wc, Nikolai helps y/n through her menstrual migraines as best as he can. Hurt/comfort.

Warnings: sickness, vomiting and pain, medicine

Notes: I’m sorry you’re feeling this way! Menstrual symptoms are the worst, especially when your hormones are out of wack. 💜

Y/n woke up with a groan. She flipped over in bed, arching her body over the piled up comforter in discomfort. Not today. Any day but today. She and Nikolai had plans. She’d only been up mere seconds and could already tell those plans weren’t going to happen. The throbbing in her head, the stiffness in her neck, the nausea flowing through her body, the desire to either cry or go back to sleep.. it all pointed to one thing. It was that time of the month. Why was she cursed with not only suffering through having to have such a time of the month, but also such horrendous ones at that? Every month it was the same.

“Darling?” Nikolai’s tender voice rang out in the room in a hushed tone.

Y/n groaned in response as she tried to turn her body so he could greet him properly. Only, in doing so, she realized how he was carrying something in his hands. She squinted briefly only to quickly stop upon the tension making her already-present migraine worse.

“Easy love,” Nikolai scolded lightly as he carefully sat beside her on the bed. “Has it set in already?” He asked rhetorically. The pout on her lips and the way her eyes were watering already told him his answer. “Why don’t you try some of this?” Nikolai suggested, passing her a cup of tea.

“How did you know?” Y/n asked as she slowly moved to lean against the headboard to sip. “I didn’t even know it was coming,” she complained with a frown before taking a sip of the hot beverage.

Nikolai laughed softly, “I know my Queen, y/n/n”. He noticed the way she looked up from her cup with a tearful expression. He gave her a loving smile and shifted closer. “Shhh honey, I know, I love you too”. He brushed some stray hairs from her forehead as he watched her sip on the tea. “I asked them to add some tonics to it, hopefully it’ll help,” he explained.

Y/n set her tea back on the metallic tray Nikolai had carried it in on and offered him a warm smile. She took his hand and squeezed, “thank you”. She opened her mouth to offer to try to stick it out long enough for them to see to their original plans for the day. But instead her eyes screwed shut as another wave of pain joined the constant ache behind her eyes. “Saints,” she mumbled, unconsciously tightening her grip on Nikolai’s hand in the process.

Nikolai frowned sympathetically as his chest ached over how uncomfortable she looked. There had to be more he could do. He gently ran his thumb over the back of her hand as he looked around their room for something. Anything. Catching sight of the attached bathroom, an idea came to mind. Nikolai moved the tea tray to the nightstand and stood up. He leaned down and pressed a small kiss to her forehead when she promptly opened her eyes to gaze up at him worriedly. “I’ll be right back y/n/n,” he vowed.

Y/n closed her eyes again as Nikolai moved from her side. She tried to stifle her groan as she pressed her heavy head back against the pillows. She winced lightly at the spike in her pain’s intensity from her movement. Bad idea. She tried to keep her breathing steady despite the throbbing behind her eyes. She didn’t hear when Nikolai had returned. Whether that was due to him intentionally trying to be excessively quiet or due to her lack of attention, she couldn’t say. She only knew he’d returned when she felt his light warm breath grace her face as he lowered a cool washcloth to her closed eyes. She gasped at the cold sensation but quickly relaxed back into the bed and let out a sigh of relief.

Nikolai smiled faintly. It was progress. “Is there anything else I can do love?” He asked sweetly.

“Mmmmnnnmmm,” y/n mumbled with a soft roll of her head side to side against the pillows. “I just don’t feel good,” she explained needlessly. That much was obvious. Yet it somehow felt relieving to say it nonetheless.

“I know lapushka,” Nikolai hummed. “Why don’t I go tell Nertesky that we’ll be staying in today and then we can cuddle while you try to sleep?”

Y/n reluctantly removed the wet cloth from her brows. “If we’re not going, won’t you have to work?” She asked with a poor attempt at hiding her frown.

Nikolai shook his head. “I wasn’t planning on anything of the sort,” he reassured her. He again leaned down to kiss her head. “I’ll be less than a minute”.

It was in that moment that y/n noticed Nikolai hadn’t changed out of his sleeping attire from last night. He truly hadn’t planned on leaving her side today. Y/n felt herself smile lightly at the notion as she placed the rag back over her eyes. She wordlessly curled into his side as he returned to bed and cautiously moved to hold her to him. “It hurts,” she whispered after a few moments.

“I know,” Nikolai sighed with a frown. “The tonics should kick in soon, until then try to sleep so you don’t feel it,” he suggested, feeling pretty useless.

Nikolai squinted as he entered their bedroom, having a hard time adjusting to the severe lack of light in the room compared to the rest of the castle. “Y/n/n?” He questioned as he moved closer to the bed. His heart seized upon seeing the way she’d pulled the sheets over her head to block more light. Her head was still hurting. “Let me get Jelentsy,” he suggested, already spinning back to the door to request their healer.

“No,” y/n whined. “Nik?” She called out, blindly reaching for him without moving the blankets away from her face.

Nikolai quickly spun back to her and rushed to her side. He took her outstretched hand in his and squeezed tenderly. “Maybe they can help,” he explained.

“It’s like this every month,” y/n reminded him. “It’s f-“

“Don’t you dare say it’s fine,” Nikolai interrupted. He lowered the blanket down from her face slowly before running his thumb over her brows lightly. “It’s not fine. You shouldn’t be feeling this way. Especially not every month”.

“I’m sorry,” y/n hummed, melting underneath his gently touch.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for my dear,” he whispered. “I just wish there was more I could do”.

“I know, but they’ve already tried,” she reminded him.

Nikolai sighed and nodded to himself. Hopefully the team he’d sent to Kerch would be back soon. They’d had some recent medical advances and he was hoping their associated texts would bring about some solutions to his wife’s problems.

“My head is pounding,” y/n cried as she curled up against Nikolai. “This sucks,” she complained, her throat sore. Her menstrual migraine had caused her nausea to turn into actual vomiting. Said symptom only made the pain in her head even worse. It had turned into a vicious cycle. Luckily she had Nikolai to comfort her.

Nikolai’s arms wrapped around her tightly as he pressed a kiss to her clammy scalp. “I know, I’m so sorry sweetheart,” he sighed, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “I’m so sorry,” he echoed quietly as she merely cried against his chest, hands clutching his shirt tightly as she went back to wordlessly dealing with her pain.

“This is the third time I’ve had to pick you up and put you in bed,” Nikolai commented in disbelief. Instead of scooping her back up yet again, he knelt to the floor beside her instead. “Why the heck are you wanting to lie on the floor so badly?”

She sniffled as she shrugged, still curled in a ball on the cold tile flooring. She couldn’t explain it, it just felt better. Between the migraine induced vomiting and the throbbing in her head, it just felt right. She cried quietly as another bout of nausea took over. She gripped the bag in her hands tighter and brought it back to her lips as she dry heaved into it. She groaned and moved to lay her head back on the floor.

Nikolai frowned as he watched her. He had no idea what was going on. But if she felt she was better off on the floor, so be it. He sighed sympathetically before moving to curl his body around hers as he too laid down on the tiles that covered their bedroom floor. Nikolai held her in silence for awhile until he heard a light knock on the door. She groaned against the floor before flipping over to bury her face in his chest. “Come in,” Nikolai answered, hands over y/n’s ears. When his general stood before him with a confused by empathetic expression, he felt his heart speed up. “Do you have it?” He asked, hopeful.

Nikolai was practically smiling as y/n hummed quietly and rested against the pile of pillows he’d propped up behind her. The solution from Kerch had come and now she was feeling better. Not healed. Her pain wasn’t gone. But she had expressed that it took the edge off. Meaning her tears were no longer constantly flowing down her reddened cheeks. It was a small victory, but one Nikolai was proud of as he gently held her to him. From now on, their healers and medical staff would have the recipe for the solution on hand and a supply always at the ready. For as much as he hated the notion of it coming back, he knew it would. At least now he had a way of trying to help her when it did.

Nikolai Lantsov Masterlist

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[euphoniumpets]

Always noticed you | Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! reader x Kaz Brekker | PART TWO

Summary: after running away from Nikolai, the crows got a message to find you and not long after, you got to meet dirtyhands where they convince you later to help them and find the sword from the neshyenyer while kaz brekker is not trying to fall for you.

Warnings: violence and angst, mention of Kaz's ptsd and phobia.

A/N: here's part two and part one can you read it here!

Not long after the crows recieved the message from the prince and the Sun Summoner of finding you, the crows didn't waste a second to begin their search. However, Kaz had not the slightest idea of finding you for the first time in his life, but to their luck, he found you.

Nikolai had begged them to find you, knowing that if people knew that the Sun Summoner's sister was outside far from the grand palace and out or reach from their protection, he didn't want to think that would happen if you were in danger because of him.

Tolya and Tamar had offered to go and find the crows while looking for you and the sword of neshyenyer.

After packing your things in the spinning wheel and then leaving off without leaving a note, you found yourself in Shu Han. You knew that your mother was from Shu Han however, you got a little information from your parents when you were younger. You didn't knew about much of your past ever since you and Alina was sent to the orphange.

Shu Han was a beautiful place. A place filled with color and different food that you enjoyed during your time. It was at that point you realized that you missed venturing out the unknown while you tried to survive for your sister.

You knew that if you wasn't there, you wouldn't bothering them and the people wouldn't know that you are the Sun Summoner's sister, but you were wrong.

After strolling in the market, you found yourself running from your life after hearing that they wanted you to get through the Sun Summoner and the prince.

You were panting hard, trying to dodge the crowd at the market while not trying to bump into their stuff while trying to find a way out. You didn't know where to go next and you were terrified.

The next thing you knew, you were in a dead end. You sighed before turning around slowly and saw the men surrounding you. You, however, raised your fist and prepared for a fight as you tried to remembered the leassons that Zoya gave you back at the little palace.

However, a knife was suddenly thrown behind their backs and you saw some of them collapsing to their knees and to the ground. You furrowed your brows when you saw a familiar face approaching and knocked the man out with his cane.

''Huh, on point, actually,'' You breathed out and gestured toward the men.

Kaz only gave you an amusing expression as he always did. ''Did you really expect us to be that low?''

''You are gangsters and from what I recall the last time we met each other, you are the brains for the crows and the one who kidnapped me and my sister,'' You remarked as Inej, Jesper, and two familiar faces appeared but you didn't knew the second female next to them. You assumed that she was also a heartrender because she took down one of the men. You ignored how Kaz rolled his eyes toward your remark.

''Nice throw,'' You commented to Inej, making her smile at you before you. Upon noticing, the gang surrounded you in the dead end, making you thinking that they were there to bring you back to the spinning wheel.

''Great, here to kidnap me again?'' You asked and turned to Kaz. ''They want you back, I'm only here to do the job,'' Kaz responded, making you sigh. Of course, you had expected that Nikolai would beg the crows to bring you back to the spinning wheel before the general found you.

You knew that you could take care of yourself and weren't to let him take you back. ''Then, good luck of catching me again,'' You spoke, turning on your heel before Kaz placed his cane in front of you to stop you.

''I wouldn't do that if I were you,'' Zoya announced herself, making you roll your eyes at her.

''Wait,'' You heard his response and you turned to look at him. ''If you're not going back, then you're going with us,'' He responded and you looked at him with a frown. ''We're looking for the sword of neshyenyer, and we need your help,'' Inej spoke and you scoffed.

''With what? With my useless talent?'' You questioned.

''You're not useless, you are a map maker, aren't you?'' Kaz asked.

''I was,'' You corrected him. ''Then you know the story behind it and the information we could gather,'' Kaz replied.

''So, are you in?'' You heard Jesper asking you, making you sigh heavily and drop your shoulders in defeat.

''Yes,'' You replied and rolled your eyes as Kaz smirked slighty and dropped his cane.

-

Kaz Brekker was not the one who believed in saints of love. No saint was ever there for him during the fire pox and when Jordie died and he stopped believed in love at the moment when he fell for Inej.

Falling in love was a dangerous to him and if people knew (more like his enemies) his weakest spot, his work would be destroyed. He had tried to build something ever since Kaz Brekker was born since Kaz Rietveld wasn't capable of doing it.

When he met you, it was an odd time. He had seen you, even when Alina was put out first and he noticed that you were always in the background when no one else noticed. He noticed the smallest thing when he first saw you back at the little palace when they announced the Sun Summoner existed.

After all, to him, you were easier to read.

He saw something back there in your eyes, the longing love for the general, the sneaky glances between you went unnoticed by everyone, everyone except for him. The pain in your eyes could be seen by him and he knew at the moment you loved the general, but the general had already chosen your sister.

He could somewhat relate because your story was the same as he had with Inej. The longing of someone was crawling deep inside of him but when he confessed his love for her, Inej didn't felt the same.

The guilt of oversharing his feelings for someone that didn't share the same suffocated him and it took months for him to get over it.

That was the last time when he saw you after seperating through the Fold. He had asked you to come with them back to Ketterdam, but you said to him maybe another time when times were calmer and when Alina had taken the Fold, then maybe, you would be there with him.

And when he had gotten the note from the prince to find you, he couldn't help but to feel excitment to see you again after being seperated for months.

To him, you weren't useless. He saw something in you that many didn't see clearly. You were intelligent and knowing the routes of the maps was making it easier to them to find the sword of Neshyenyer.

All of you headed back to a cafe in the market as Kaz had informed the plan. ''The Neshyenyer? Sankta Neyar's blade?'' Nina asked with disbelief on her face as she looked at the group.

You were also surprised by the news as soon Kaz had read the letter that Nikolai had sent him. You figured it out that Nikolai had also written to him that they would find you before anyone else did. ''So, you haven't forgotten what you were taught at the little palace,'' Zoya remarked and looked at Nina.

''Just your loyalty to Ravka,''

''Ravka? Or Kirigan? It didn't take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty,'' Nina replied. ''So, now that we all know that you two have history,'' Jesper cut in and looked between them.

''What's the payment for this job?'' Jesper asked.

''Name your price,'' Tolya responded. ''It matters that much,''

''Obviously,'' You responded and rolled your eyes and crossed your arms above your chest. ''Is that the Lantsov crest?'' Wylan asked and looked at the letter that Nina held. ''You know because it's hideous,'' You remarked as Zoya looked at you with a deadpanned look.

''Prince Nikolai requested your services to bring back her,'' Tolya remarked and pointed at you. ''And to find the sword and deliver the sword to Alina Starkov in East Ravka,''

''She's returned?'' Nina asked.

''As has the Darkling,'' You spoke. ''With an indestructible army of shadow monsters,'' You informed them.

''Then what are you doing here instead to be with your sister?'' Nina asked you with a concerned expression.

''It's complicated,''

-

Not long after Zoya and Tolya tried to bargain their price to the Crows and they walked in seperated ways to prepare to find the sword. You trailed over your glass at the bar, lost in your thoughts as you didn't hear the footsteps from behind.

''I'm not going back, not after we have found the sword if that's what you're thinking,'' You spoke when you noticed Zoya stood next to you, signalling the bartender to give her the same drink as you had.

''If that's what you're thinking, you know I'm not going easy on you then,'' Zoya commented. ''Whatever happened between you and prince Nikolai, you need to let it go,'' Zoya responded.

''I know how hard it has been, but life's at are stake here,''

''You may think that I'm harsh, but face it, Y/N, he loved you, maybe he still does, but at one point, we all need to pick sides at the end,''

''I'm not taking anyone sides here,'' You argued. ''Then you have to at one point, this is war, get your head together,'' Zoya replied.

''You're right,'' You replied with a sulking expression as Zoya looked at you with wide eyes. ''Whatever happened between me and Nikolai, it's not worth it,'' You responded and turned to face her.

''So, you're over it?'' Zoya asked with an eyebrow raised.

''I know it's going to be hard, but i try not to care,'' You responded before she shrugged her shoulders and took the alcohol and held it up. You grabbed your glass and clinked it before you drank the alcohol burning in your throat.

Not far from the bar, Kaz had his eyes lingering on you from the distance as he promised to himself that he would try to be the better man but he can't do that when the demons inside of his head.

-

ngl struggled to write the last part but i hope you guys enjoyed of ''kaz'' version of y/n. might write a part three soon!

[rubysunnday]

wanting was enough

requested by @omgbrcat: If you're willing to write for Nikolai, I'm ready to read.

a/n: they asked for fluffy... this is not fluffy like at all and for that i am sorry (i promise to write nik fluff to make up for it) ty ryn for your help

summary: Y/N has loved Nikolai since the day she met him. But now, as the blood begins to run, she has to come to terms with the fact that he'll never be hers.

The room was filled with people she knew, yet Y/N had never felt more alone or more broken.

Nikolai and Alina were engaged and Y/N found herself grieving for something she'd never had. It was an odd thing to feel a part of a group whilst also feeling a million miles away from everyone and everything.

She'd loved Nikolai since the day they'd met in the middle of Kerch, surrounded by people who wanted them dead. From there, friendship had been easy and when she'd sheepishly revealed her Grisha abilities to him - he'd enlisted Tamar and Tolya to teach her how to use them and control them.

Yet, despite the practice, her heartrender talents were still weak and, in Y/N's mind, pathetic. She understood that years of neglect and no practice would do that to someone, but it didn't help. Her confidence was non-existent and when she was surrounded by far more talented Grisha and a living Saint such as Alina, Y/N felt tiny.

Seeing Nikolai and Alina holding hands stung more than it should have. She was used to Nikolai being affectionate with people - affection was how he showed his love. But this was different. Y/N had hardly seen him since they'd gotten back to the palace and something had clearly changed between them.

Either that or it was all in Y/N's mind. She was spending a lot of time inside her head at the minute, doubting herself, doubting her abilities and her place in Nikolai's crew.

She could hear Nikolai's heartbeat from across the room - it's sound familiar and comforting to her in a way it shouldn't have been. Not anymore.

He wasn't hers and never could be hers.

She wasn't sure when friendship had turned to wanting and longing but it had. And she was trying her best to deal with it. To accept that he would never be hers.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Y/N turned and tried not to look startled at Nikolai's sudden appearance by her side. She hadn't even registered him walking over to her. Nikolai grinned crookedly at her and Y/N felt her heart swoop and glide like a bird in the breeze.

"Just wondering what your mother's definition of a big party is when this is a small one," Y/N replied, picking up a glass from a nearby tray and drinking its contents in one swoop.

Nikolai laughed, readjusting his weight from one foot to the other, his right shoulder brushing against Y/N's left. "She likes a party, what can I say. Anything under sixty people and it's intimate."

"I don't even know sixty people," Y/N replied. "I don't think I even know ten."

"It's never about the quantity of friends, it's about the quality," Nikolai replied. "A small, close friend group is better than a distant large one." He nudged her arm with his elbow. "I considered you one of my close friends."

Y/N forced herself to grin at him and tried to ignore how much the words stung at her heart. "Oh," she pointed over at Vasily as he stood up on the dais next to his father, "I think your brother is about to make a speech. You should probably go stand next to your mother and pretend to be interested."

Getting Nikolai to laugh was easy for Y/N, but even though she'd done it many times before, the sound still sent fire coursing through her veins. It wasn't the guarded laugh of a privateer. Or the forced laughter of a prince. It was just Nikolai's laugh.

"I'll be back," he warned, pointing a finger at her. "We need to discuss what you mean by pretending - I always find my brother fascinating."

"Of course you do." Y/N nodded. "I believe that, one hundred percent."

She watched as Nikolai disappeared into the crowd, appearing at his mother's side, ever the doting son. Y/N was impressed with herself that she'd managed to avoid bringing up the engagement. She hadn't had a chance to even mention it to Nikolai - it didn't seem appropriate. But she needed to know if it was genuine or just for show. She need to know for her own mind. How else would she ever be able to move on and accept she was stuck wanting for forever.

Vasily's speech started and Y/N zoned out entirely. He was a weasel of a human and represented everything wrong with Ravka in so many ways. He never had anything interesting or important to say.

It was only because she wasn't listening to Vasily that Y/N noticed the room gradually getting darker. The sun seemingly disappearing and then reappearing only to disappear once again.

She tilted her head back and, as she did so, two shapeless shadows smashed through the glass of the skylight, slamming into the ground and taking two of the first army guards out with them. One of the shadows grabbed Vasily and, in a blink of an eye, ripped him apart.

The screaming started instantly. Y/N's eyes focused on the shadows and she realised with cold horror that they were Kirigan's Nichevo'ya. At once, she began looking for Alina, who was safely on the other side of the room with Tamar and Adrik.

The Nichevo'ya shot towards her and Y/N dodged out the way, turning and running away - because what else could she do? They had no heartbeats and, even if they did, she wouldn't be able to take them down. She wasn't strong enough.

"Y/N!"

Nikolai snatched her hand and pulled her to his side as a table flew across the room, a body following in its path. Y/N gripped Nikolai's jacket for a moment before she let go and forced herself to take a step back, to create space between them.

"Down to the tunnels!" Nikolai yelled, raising his voice to be heard over the screaming. He began to move backwards, his hand still on Y/N's arm. "Regroup there!"

As Adrik and Nadia distracted the Nichevo'ya as best they could, the small party that had gathered behind Nikolai began to follow their now king and had down to the tunnels beneath the palace.

Y/N brought up the rear of the group, keeping one eye over her shoulder incase the Nichevo'ya decided to follow after them. But they seemed content to feast on those left behind in the ballroom.

She was so focused on making sure the Nichevo'ya weren't following, that Y/N didn't even notice cracks in the walls beginning to form and then splinter up and around.

Only when she saw the first piece of wall fall did she even realise what was happening. She turned around and there was no one behind her - they'd all made it through to the tunnels, including Nikolai, leaving her alone out in the corridor.

For a moment, she wondered if anyone would miss her if she disappeared.

Another piece of wall fell and, as it did, a Nichevo'ya began to appear from around a corner, it's shape constantly changing as the shadows withered and curled.

Y/N brought her hands together, searching for a heartbeat to control, but there was none. Of course there wasn't. They were made of nothing.

The cracks had reached the ceiling and more rubble fell down, smashing against the floor all around her. A particularly large piece fell away and Y/N threw herself back, barely avoiding its impact as she scrabbled across the tiled floor, trying to get to the tunnel entrance.

Her body wasn't cooperating, fear of the Nichevo'ya striking through her and rendering her almost useless. She tried not to look up at the skull like face forming in the shadows, but it was impossible to look away as it loomed over her. Almost as if she'd been hypnotised by them.

"Y/N!"

Hands came around her waist and they yanked her up and onto her feet. The roof was falling down around them now, large chunks of stone smashing into pieces on the tiles, the small bits flying back up into the air. Y/N felt something whizz past her cheek, leaving a stinging line behind.

Everything was a blur. As the rest of the ceiling came away, the Nichevo'ya launched forward, its tendrils snaking towards Y/N. They sliced down her arm and, as they made contact, Y/N brought her left hand to her right and felt something within the mass of black.

Focusing on that and that alone, Y/N forced it to slow down, to stop. Sensing danger, the tendrils came away, retreating back into the shadows. As they did, the ceiling gave way. Whoever had grabbed her from behind pushed her into the tunnels and then darkness obscured her vision.

"Y/N, look at me."

Hands rested on both her cheeks. A thumb stroked up and down her cheek bone. As her eyes began to adjust to the dark light of the tunnels, and the panic and fear began to fade, Nikolai came into view, his eyes full of concern.

"You good?" He asked softly, his eyes darting to her arm for a moment before coming back to her face.

"Sorry," Y/N said, blinking furiously. "I froze. I didn't mean to, I should've -"

"Hey, there's plenty of things we all should have done," Nikolai said gently, his thumb pressing lightly against her skin as he moved it up and down. "The Nichevo'ya do weird things to people. But we're safe, we made it into the tunnels."

Nikolai's words did little to reassure her. Instead, they made Y/N panic even more. She moved back from him and got to her feet, leaving Nikolai crouched in front of an empty space.

"You need to go see what's going on," Y/N said, putting more distance between them. "You are the king now."

A hundred different emotions filtered across Nikolai's face. His eyes seemed to grow slightly harder and his back straightened. As he went to speak, a guard appeared at his side and began to lead him away and down into the tunnels, leaving Y/N alone once more.

Y/N took a deep breath in and swore softly as she felt her arm burning and stinging for the first time. She looked down and saw a gash running from her shoulder down to her elbow.

Y/N winced as she tentatively pulled back the fabric from her arm, trying to see it better. The edges were bright red and blood was running down and to her wrist, dripping off her fingers.

She didn't feel fine but, for now, she pushed her pain and exhaustion aside, pushing herself off the wall she'd come to lean on.

The tunnels were organised chaos. Bodies lay against the walls, covered with blankets, flags, sacks - whatever people could find. Y/N walked, rather stumbled, down them, searching for her friends, hoping they were still alive and in one piece.

It wasn't long before she found them. Adrik was groaning in pain, swearing as quietly as he could as David examined his arm, his hands gently pulling away the shredded fabric from the gaping wounds on his arm and hand.

Y/N picked up her pace and rushed over to them, kneeling down beside David. "What happened?"

"Fucking Nichevo'ya," Adrik panted. He groaned, closing his eyes tightly as David pressed on the skin around the wound.

"Y/N," Nadia said, her arms around her brother, "can you do anything?"

"I'm not a healer," Y/N warned, her hand gently replacing David's as she took Adrik's arm.

"I don't care," Adrik said, groaning. "Just do something."

Y/N nodded. She took a deep breath in, trying to ignore the throbbing in her own arm. Her hands shook slightly.

David put a hand on her uninjured shoulder and squeezed it gently. "You can do it," he said quietly.

Y/N focused on Adrik's arm, on the skin and the blood thrumming through his veins and spilling out onto the floor. She could feel her energy seeping out through her body as she worked on Adrik's arm, trying to slow the bleeding and heal what she could.

As she did, she felt the pain in her arm gradually growing. It was hard to tell if the room was tilted or if she herself was tilting.

"Y/N," Tamar said softly. Y/N wasn't sure when she'd appeared. "Your arm."

"It's fine," Y/N said. She took a deep breath in as the pain got worse, her arm throbbing and burning.

Then, suddenly, it wasn't fine. Y/N felt the all to familiar feeling of nausea building up in her throat, her heart beat increased as her body ran out of energy.

Y/N swayed and she fell sideways and into David, the Durast doing his best to catch her.

Tamar was instantly at her side, her hand gripping Y/N's tightly. She pressed her fingers to her pulse point and Y/N felt the all too familiar feeling of someone else controlling her heartbeat.

"Adrik," Y/N muttered, slumping further back into David's chest, his arms wrapping around her.

"Nadia's got him," Tamar said, reaching her spare hand out to stroke Y/N's cheek. "You should've said something. Your arm is not fine."

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling the tears burning. She didn't know if they were from the pain or because of how useless she felt. "I'm fine," Y/N said, trying to sit up.

Both David and Tamar pushed her back down - neither one having to use much force at all.

"Nikolai!"

Y/N felt panic rise within her as Tamar summoned the now king over to them. Tamar glanced down at her, her eyebrows raised slightly, and Y/N realised her heart had also sped up.

Fucking heartrenders.

"What's wrong?" Nikolai asked, walking over to them.

He didn't see Y/N until he moved around David and saw her lying against him, blood pooling on the floor from the wound on her arm, Tamar's hand still on her wrist.

"Y/N, saints," Nikolai said, instantly dropping to his knees beside her.

Y/N vaguely realised that he'd shed his blazer and rolled his shirt sleeves up. His hands hovered over her arm, shaking every so slightly.

"She's losing too much blood," Tamar said quietly, trying her best to not alarm Y/N, who was gradually getting paler.

Nikolai nodded. "There's a healer down the tunnel with the courtiers."

Tamar, sensing Nikolai's hesitation, let go of Y/N's hand and stood up. "I'll go get them. See if you can find a bed or somewhere to lay her down."

Y/N didn't realise Nikolai had moved closer to her and slipped his arms around her back and under her legs until he lifted her up into his arms, adjusting his shoulder so that her head came to rest against it.

"David, stay with Adrik and Nadia," Nikolai said, taking a step back. "Tamar will be back soon."

Y/N was in too much pain to even try to fight Nikolai as he carried her through the tunnels. Through her half closed eyes, she could see the stares coming their way - the judgement and disgust all aimed at her.

But she didn't care. Because Nikolai was holding her close and, for a moment, she felt as if everything was ok. Nikolai was hers and only hers.

Everything faded away, leaving her floating around, relishing each touch, each way Nikolai's bare arms brushed against her.

"Y/N!"

She jumped slightly, her eyes slowly opening, taking their time to focus. Nikolai was knelt beside her, his hands cradling hers. Y/N realised that he was no longer carrying her and that she was lying down in a quieter part of the tunnels.

As her eyes focused, she noticed that Nikolai's eyes were red, his skin starting to go blotchy. Y/N moved her head slightly and saw Tamar kneeling behind her, one hand on her chest, the other on Nikolai's arm.

"Your heart stopped," Nikolai said quietly, when he noticed her confused gaze. "You went still and I..." Nikolai's voice cracked and he trailed off.

Tamar squeezed his arm as she stood up, leaving the two alone. The healer, who Y/N had only just noticed, also gave them some privacy, moving on to his next patient. Y/N glanced down at her arm and saw that it had stopped bleeding, the edges of the wound closer than they had been.

"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered, not sure what to say to Nikolai.

Nikolai raised his head, his eyes shining with tears. "Whatever for?"

Y/N didn't know. "I -"

"This is not your fault," Nikolai said, somehow moving closer. "None of this is."

One hand let go of hers, moving up to the side of her head. He began to brush back her hair with the pad of his thumb, the movement repetitive and calming enough it almost sent Y/N to sleep.

"Is Adrik ok?" Y/N asked, the memory of his ruined arm coming back at her with force.

Nikolai hesitated for a second. "He lost the arm," he said gently. "But he's alive, because of you."

"I could've done more," Y/N protested, tears leaking out the corners of her eyes. "If I'd been stronger or better -"

"The outcome would not have changed," Nikolai insisted, his thumb wiping away her tears. "Even the healer couldn't do anything more. What you did do, saved his life, Y/N."

Y/N nodded once, more tears spilling onto her cheeks. "Is this not improper?" She asked as Nikolai reached over to her other cheek, wiping the tears away again.

"What?" He asked, staring at her in disbelief.

"You're engaged," she said, her voice breaking on the last word as a sob broke through.

It took a second but understanding dawned on Nikolai's face and he let out a heavy breath, tinged with sadness.

"Oh, Y/N," he whispered. "You could've -"

"I couldn't, Nik," she said hoarsely. "I had to presume that it was just me - you had your eyes set on every other woman about and I -"

"No, stop that right now," Nikolai said, leaning close. "I... I have loved you since the moment I met you. I just assumed you loved Sturmhond, not Nikolai."

"I love you," Y/N said, her voice strong. "I love whoever you chose to be. Whether it's prince or pirate -"

"Privateer."

" - king or pauper," Y/N finished, her voice quiet as whatever energy had come disappeared. "I love whoever you chose to be. I just love you, Nikolai."

Nikolai nodded, tears running down his cheeks. He leant forward, resting his head against Y/N's chest and her fingers began to running through his hair and down to the nape of his neck.

She knew he was listening to her heart beating. She was doing exactly the same. The sound familiar and comforting for all the right reasons.

[audreyclimbs]

I'm bad at requests but maybe a Nikolai Lantsov hurt/comfort soemthing?!?

you’re totally good! I’ll do my best— I hate to admit it but I haven’t read rule of wolves yet, so I’m not the most up to date on our fav king 😔

I’m a full-time student and worker so I can’t promise I’ll be able to do this within the next couple of days, but I’ll do my best queen 😚😚

[stray-kaz]

All Patched Up : Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader sequel to Patched

Link to Patched here

Summary: Nikolai and reader have been waiting for a month and a half for his stitches to heal, and now they are, he’s ready. Question is, are you?

This is for 18 and up. Be responsible for your own eyes.

You spent every night of the next six weeks in Nikolai’s bed, trying to sleep. But he wouldn’t let you until you were flushed and damp skinned, sinking into his downy soft mattress, his hand or mouth between your legs. He did this every single night, until you thought you would perish if he continued and perish if he stopped.

And he refused to take anything back. Stubborn mule, indeed. He would just disappear from the bed, aching, and return minutes later, content to slip back under the covers and curl around you, one hand splayed over your stomach as he settled to sleep.

Then the six weeks were done and you found yourself consumed by jitters as you sat next to Nikolai at dinner and he dropped a hand into your lap, palm down. He rubbed gently and you slapped your own hand down on top of his, locking your fingers in between his; you could feel the strain in your knuckles as they stretched over his much larger hand, but you ignored the burn and glared at him as heat flooded your face.

“We are in public, Nikolai!” you hissed.

He didn’t turn his head to you, but you could still glimpse the smirk curving the half of his mouth you could see.

“Well, I am the future king, darling. I can change that quite quickly” he murmured, flexing his fingers beneath yours.

You clamped your thighs together and he bit back a chuckle at your expense. How he riled you. And how you loved him.

“No. I’m hungry” you grumbled, reaching for a fork with your free hand.

“I bet you are.”

You sighed heavily, rolled your eyes and elbowed him in the ribs. He coughed and reached for his drink, downing the kvas with a hard rasp.

“Come on, darling. Six weeks is a long time to wait for me” Nikolai continued, finally turning in his seat to eye you.

You cocked your head to the side, a canny light in your eyes.

“It seems to me that you must be more desperate than I am” you replied. “After all, moi Tsar, I haven’t spent a night in my own bed since I stitched you up and you have been very attentive.”

His jaw dropped, eyes wide, and he reached up to run a hand through his hair, messing it out of its normal perfection and leaving curls peeking out in different directions. You hid a grin as you finally managed to get a mouthful of food in, Nikolai’s gaze burning into the side of your face.

He continued to watch you until your plate and glass were empty, and the second they were, he was hauling you out of your seat without an excuse or a goodbye to his parents and all but dragging you out of the dining hall. When you broke into peals of laughter just beyond the door, he pinned you to the wall and kissed you quiet, the laughter turning to urgent pants and your fingers tugging on his hips, clutching at the fabric covering them.

“Feeling a bit, hmm, desperate, are we?” he mumbled against your forehead, pressing a warm kiss there.

You huffed and dragged him back to you, your fingers inching into his hair.

“Take me to bed, Nikolai Lantsov. My king.”

You looked up at him with wild, wide eyes and he groaned from deep in his chest, his pupils expanding as you watched. He snatched at your hand again and pulled you along numerous corridors until he reached his bedroom door, dismissing the Grisha stationed outside.

“We won’t need you tonight, thank you. I’m all the protection she needs.”

The young man flushed and quickstepped down the hall, as you slapped Nikolai mildly on the chest. He looked down at you with raised, innocent eyebrows.

“What?” he asked.

You shook your head at him.

“You have probably scarred that poor boy for life” you chastised.

He shrugged.

“Gotta be scarred by something” he replied, and swept you inside the bedroom.

Nikolai nudged you up against the closest wall and your hands rose to clutch at his jacket, shoving it off his shoulders and down his arms. It dropped to the carpet with a thump, all heavy brocade and epaulets, and you wasted no time in dragging his shirt hem out of his cream trousers and spreading hungry palms over the warm, healed skin of his stomach.

Your healer’s eyes followed your hands, double checking that Nikolai was indeed fixed. His breath was short and soft in your ears as you ran gentle fingertips over the white scar down his ribs.

“See?” he murmured, closing his eyes. “All better.”

You drew the shirt carefully off over his head, untidying his hair even further. His warm blue eyes gazed into yours under a flopping dark gold curl. You reached to brush it out of the way, sinking your fingers into his hair and stepping onto the toes of his boots to kiss him, his mouth opening beneath yours and his arms wrapping snugly around your back.

You had decided to wear a dress that night, but now you were regretting it as the corset dug into your chest and restricted your breathing even further, your lungs burning as a result of it and Nikolai’s kissing. You broke away, struggling to breathe, pressing a hand to your pounding heartbeat. Nikolai followed you, concern creasing his forehead as he watched you fight for oxygen. You gestured to the top of your dress and his gaze lowered and then flicked back up.

“It’s too tight” you explained, finally able to breathe a little better.

“Ah” Nikolai said, and nodded.

Without a word or request, he reached around you, gripped the back of your dress, right where the buttons met, and tore it open. Shiny black buttons rained onto the carpet and rolled under the chair Nikolai had sat on to be stitched up six weeks earlier.

You gasped as you felt the weight of the dress start to drag down and off your chest, grasping it with both your hands. Nikolai tsked and shook his head, raising his hands to cover yours, curling his fingers around.

“Don’t” he said, his eyes searching yours. “It’s coming off anyway, isn’t it?”

You stared at him, felt the vulnerability in his clutching fingers.

“Are you begging, moi Tsar?” you asked softly.

He stepped closer and felt warmth moving from your body to his.

“I will if you ask me to” he said lowly, his voice a breathy rumble in your ear.

This revelation sent a cascade of heat to your lower belly, lighting between your legs. In answer, you took both your hands and Nikolai’s away from the dress and it instantly fell to the floor in a heavy pile of fabric, leaving you in a thin petticoat and nothing else. 

Nikolai knelt in front of you and unlaced your pointed boots, your hands pressing into his shoulders for balance. He was warm and strong, and when he stood, he swept you off your feet and into his arms, carrying you over to his bed. He laid you down like precious cargo, barely a bounce as you landed on the mattress. You watched as he sat on the edge to remove his boots, then crawled over you, his hands smoothing up your legs and taking the hem of your petticoat with them.

He sighed when he realised you were not wearing underwear and dug his fingers into your hips.

“Darling, how is that fair?” he asked you, lifting fiery blue eyes to your face.

You flushed and looked away, biting your lip.

“Well, I see you’re still wearing clothes, Sturmhond.”

His eyes flashed and he sucked a kiss onto the soft flesh of your inner thigh before backing off the bed and removing his trousers and socks, his obvious erection pressing into the silky material of his boxers. He watched with interest when your eyes dropped and how they widened on their way back up to his face. You pointed, instinctively hitching your knees up higher on the bed. Nikolai did not miss the shift in position.

“Those off, too” you said, feeling unbearably warm everywhere; you tugged hard at the soft neckline of your petticoat and heard some stitches threaten to give.

Nikolai did as ordered and pushed the silken fabric carefully off, your eyes on him the whole time, still trying to rip your petticoat as easily as he had done your dress. He clambered back on the bed and settled between your spread knees, glancing at the bruise already forming on your inner thigh.

“Having some trouble there?” he asked, before diving down and putting his mouth on you.

You cried out in shock, your back bowing off the mattress and your hands falling onto his hair, locking on and pulling. One hand under you to tilt your hips, Nikolai reached up with the other to find the top of your petticoat. He tightened his grip on the material and pulled hard, splitting it down the middle. He tugged the wasted fabric off you and it fluttered to the floor next to the bed, utterly forgotten.

You were grateful that Nikolai had dismissed the night guard; the unquiet sounds tumbling out of your mouth would have petrified him to the spot where he stood. With his hand pressed to the base of your spine, Nikolai could feel the tremor begin, slowly rocking its way through your body until it reached your lungs and you sobbed his name as your thighs quaked against his ears.

Your knees fell away again and he made his slow way up your body, covering your fevered skin with lazy, scorching kisses. When he reached your collarbone and scraped his teeth against it, your back arched and your chest pressed up into his.

“Are you ready, darling?” he panted into your shoulder. “Do you want me?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, wordless, and kissed him hard, spelling out your answer with your tongue. And then he was right there and you were pleading with him, begging for more, hooking your legs over his hips to give him the right message. Nikolai buried his grin in your shoulder as he pushed into you, seeking heat and home.

Your head fell back onto the pillow and your chest heaved as he started to move, grinding against you with every thrust back in. The bedroom walls echoed with the sounds of his name, broken on your lips, and the little praises he laid on you as he moved, shuddering as you tightened intermittently around him.

You grabbed his jaw and dragged him desperately to kiss you again, fingertips skating over faintly stubbled cheeks and jawline as your teeth bit and pulled and you bucked your hips up to meet Nikolai’s, chasing rhythm you couldn’t quite catch up to.

“Nikolai Lantsov, I love you, moi Tsar” you half panted half sobbed, your lips wrapped around his earlobe.

He groaned, and then, with strength you hadn’t known he possessed, he shifted and rolled with you, hauling you into his lap. The new angle drove him deeper inside you and your eyes rolled as your nails dug into his shoulders.

“Say that again” he begged you, the blue of his eyes almost entirely eclipsed.

You lightly dragged your teeth along the edge of his ear and he almost lost it then and there.

“I love you” you whispered.

Thrice more, and Nikolai came with a moan that sounded suspiciously like your name, followed by four not so little words.

“I am yours forever.”

[rowritesstuff]

Avoidance (Nikolai Lantsov x Female Reader)

A/N: Heyyyy... it's been a minute... soooo, I could just drop this without saying anything about my disappearance from Tumblr (I mean, I've still been active, but I haven't posted anything), but I figured I should say something. I'm fine. Life's good. I just didn't have the motivation to write. Anyways, this probably sucks ass, but here ya go.

Ro's Masterpost

WORD COUNT: 2.3k words

WARNINGS: SMUT, friends to lovers, argument/yelling, oral (f receiving), unprotected P in V (please use a condom), fingering (kinda).

You laughed while Nikolai told the story of a shared childhood memory he had recalled earlier in the day.

You had been seven years old and it was Nikolai's eighth birthday. Another noble boy, the son of a count, you believed, bullied Nikolai throughout his entire birthday party, and you had made it your sole mission to ruin the boy's life, or day at the very least.

You had actually succeeded. You had known that his parents didn't allow him to eat sweets, so you managed to convince him to have one of every pastry served at the party, of which there were quite a few, with it being a young prince's birthday party.

"The poor boy's parents were fuming when they caught him with his face covered in frosting," you cackled and Nikolai threw a pillow from your sofa, which you were both sitting on, at you, which only made you laugh harder.

"I believe they banned him from any social events for a month because of that incident." Nikolai took a small sip of his whiskey.

"I still think he deserved it."

"Oh, of course."

You settled in a comfortable silence, sipping your drinks, chuckling every few seconds. Nikolai scooted closer to you on the couch, moving the pillow he had thrown at you off your lap and next to him.

You leaned your head on his shoulder. He took a deep inhale before wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you a little closer to him as he took a final sip of his whiskey. Noticing that you had also finished your drink, he took your glass and placed both yours and his on the table in front of you before settling back into you.

"For the record, I would do the same thing for you," Nikolai said, breaking the silence.

You snorted. "You have done the same thing. Remember when we were sixteen? We had just enlisted and that stupid asshole-"

You were interrupted by Nikolai's lips crashing onto yours, pulling you into a kiss. You tensed up for just a few seconds, but before you could return the kiss, he pulled away and turned his body away from you.

"Nik."

Nikolai gathered his coat from your couch and stood up, leaving your room without another word.

Your jaw dropped at the shock that he just left right after kissing you without even giving you a chance to say anything.

Nikolai avoided you for two weeks. Anytime you tried to speak to him he would walk away as if he had somewhere to be. Which, with him being a king, he very well may have had somewhere to be, but it was still rude.

Since he wouldn't come to you, you would go to him. No matter if it was the middle of the night.

You banged on his door, aggressively knocking until he finally opened the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed. "It's late. You should be sleeping."

"So should you, but you're not even dressed for bed," you slipped past him and entered his room, stopping at a small table covered in piles of documents of work and you picked one up, "and you're working."

Nikolai closed his door behind you and leaned his back against the wall. "Well, you're dressed for bed." He gestured to the robe that was wrapped around you, covering your nightgown. "Why are you here?"

You dropped the paper back on the table. "I'm here because you kissed me two weeks ago and you have been avoiding me since." He lowered his head to avoid your gaze. "I deserve an explanation."

"I shouldn't have kissed you."

You stomped over to Nikolai. "Says who?"

"Me!" He pointed to his chest. "I shouldn't have put you in that position!"

"If you had waited one more second I would have kissed you back! I was just shocked because I didn't think you returned my feelings for you!"

Nikolai shook his head. "We're not doing this."

"Why?"

He gripped your arms, not nearly enough to hurt you, and pulled your body closer to his. He lowered his lips to your ear. "Because if we start, I won't want to stop," he whispered.

"And what if I don't want you to stop?"

He pulled back from you a little, looking into your eyes. E/C eyes that showed your love for him, your desire for him, and your anger toward him for ignoring you for two weeks.

He swallowed and moved his hands from gripping your upper arms to your lower back, covered by that damn silk robe. He had seen you in it many times before and he considered each moment a blessing. It was your favorite color and it suited your body perfectly.

"Are you sure?"

You nodded. "Yes."

Now having your permission, he spun the two of you, you now pinned against the wall he was previously leaning on. He captured your lips against his, pushing you even closer to the wall while one of your hands landed on the nape of his neck, curling into the short hair there, and the other went to his upper back, pushing him closer to your body.

He obliged your hand's desire, pressing himself against you. His lips wandered from yours to your jaw, then down to your neck. You let out a sigh as you moved your head to the side to give him more access. In appreciation, he sucked a hickey into your neck.

As Nikolai kissed down your body, your hand gripped his hair. Once he was fully kneeling in front of you, he looked up into your eyes as he untied the tie of your robe. He opened the silk fabric, giving him full view of your nightgown-covered body. He pressed a kiss to your clothed hip bone and looked up at you again. "Can you please take your robe off, darling?"

You pushed the robe off your shoulders and let it fall down your arms, dropping it into a pool of silk at your feet. Taking advantage of the robe on the floor, Nikolai placed it under his knees to protect himself from kneeling on the hard floors.

Nikolai dragged his fingers up your leg into your nightgown, pushing it up to your waist. You took the nightgown off and threw it off to the side.

You were left in only your underwear that blocked the one thing Nikolai had on his mind in that moment.

"Can I take these off?" he asked.

"Yes," you whispered.

He dragged the small garment down your legs, lifting your feet to completely remove them from your body.

He took a moment to drink in the visual of your completely naked body. You were perfect. You were the only Saint that he would ever worship, and he intended to do just that.

He nudged your right leg a little bit away from your left, giving you the hint to spread your legs. Once you were where he wanted you, his hands went to your hips and he gave them little massages as he moved his face closer to you.

You took deep breaths as you watched him move closer until he finally placed a kiss on your clit. You gasped, one hand returning to his hair and the other holding onto the doorframe next to you for support.

Nikolai kissed wet, open-mouthed kisses around your pussy, leaving you gasping and moaning while he kept looking up at your face. He kissed and licked and sucked at your entrance and your grip tightened on his messy blond curls.

He licked from your entrance to your clit, closing his eyes as he sucked at it. Your hand moved from his hair to the back of his head to push his face closer into you. After a little fluttering of his tongue on your pussy, then your clit, a high overcame you, making you lean your head back on the wall. One of Nikolai's hands came up to your side to massage it as he worked you through the orgasm, greedily licking at all of your wetness until you pushed his head away.

He smiled as he fell to the floor before he stood back up, holding you against him as he kissed your cheek, whispering praises into your ear while you recovered.

"I've got you, sweetheart. I've got you."

You pulled him into a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. Slowly, you began making your way to Nikolai's bed until you hit his mattress. You fell down onto the bed, Nikolai following, placing himself on top of you.

You broke the kiss and scrambled to unbutton Nikolai's shirt. Your hands were still shaking, making it difficult to undo the buttons. Noticing your shaking hands, Nikolai took hold of your hands, stopping you. He pressed light kisses on your fingertips.

"Go ahead and lay on the pillows. I'll be right there."

You scooted yourself up his mattress, laying your head comfortably on his pillows as he had asked you to. Only a moment later, Nikolai was crawling above you, completely bare. You looked down his body from his chest, and lower, and lower.

Nikolai gently lifted your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. He pressed a soft kiss in between your eyebrows. "Have you done this before?" he asked.

You nodded. You had had a few flings in your lifetime, as you were sure Nikolai did too, especially during his time as Sturmhond. He had his own flings on the Volkvolny, as did you.

"Good. I'll give you as much time as you need to adjust and if you ever need me to stop, you let me know. I don't want to hurt you."

You gave him a quick kiss. "You could never hurt me. Except for when you avoided me for two weeks, but- Saints."

His cock entering you interrupted you, though it was quite the pleasant interruption. He filled you slowly and perfectly. Nikolai kissed your cheek as his hips met yours. You took some deep breaths as you got used to the feeling of his cock inside of you. Finally, you gave him a ready nod.

Nikolai started off slowly and it wasn't until you asked him to go faster that he sped up. He kissed you deeply as he fucked you. You moaned into those kisses, the feeling of his cock sending you into euphoria.

"Fuck!" you cursed. "A little harder please?"

He obeyed, going just a bit harder, but enough to have you seeing stars. Your hand started moving down your body to rub at your clit, but Nikolai swatted your hand away and rubbed your clit in small circles himself.

Your hands returned to his hair for the millionth time that night, gripping the blond tufts. He gasped.

"Shit, can you pull it harder?"

You tugged on his hair, making him moan loudly. You smiled as you continued pulling on his hair, loving the sounds that escaped him at the feeling.

He began thrusting into you rougher, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of orgasm.

"Nik, fuck! I'm so close!"

Nikolai rubbed at your clit harder. "Me too. Where do you want it?"

"In me! Just-" You groaned, your orgasm overcoming you.

Nikolai wasn't far behind you. It was only a few seconds after your orgasm when you felt his cum shoot into you. He stilled, peppering kisses on your forehead and cheeks.

After you recovered, he slowly pulled out of you, rolling off you and onto the bed to your right. He opened a drawer in his nightstand, grabbed something, and closed it before rolling back to face you and handing you the Alkemi contraceptive. You drank it and he took the empty bottle, placing it on top of the nightstand.

He pulled you closer to him, where your side was tucked close to his torso. The both of you rested in this position for a few moments, you laying on your back, him on his side.

"I'm an idiot," Nikolai said quietly.

You smiled. "Congratulations, you've finally caught up with the rest of us."

He gently pinched your side before lightly laughing.

"What I mean is I shouldn't have avoided you. I shouldn't have left your room that night without letting you say or do anything. I'm sorry."

Your thumb rubbed his cheek. "Apology accepted. On one condition. You tell me how long you've been in love with me."

Nikolai groaned. "My eighth birthday party is when it started. When I saw how determined you were to ruin that idiot's life over him being mean to me."

You laughed. "Wow. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that."

"Now it's your turn."

You shook your head. "I'm not the one who owed an apology."

Nikolai raised his brows. "Fine. Since you don't want to tell me..."

He moved his hand from your side to your clit, rubbing small circles again. You threw your head back on the pillows, cursing.

"Shit, Nik."

He didn't stop. He kept rubbing your clit, occasionally dipping into your pussy for more moisture. He sped up his motions until you came once again. He gathered all of the wetness on his fingers and licked it all off.

"When we were 16 and had just enlisted. That asshole Novikov was harassing me. You punched him in the face one day. Three times. You broke his nose. That's when I fell in love with you."

"Awww. We both fell in love with each other when we harmed other people." He kissed your forehead. "Should we be concerned about that?"

"Probably, but right now, I want to sleep."

Nikolai hummed in response, pulling the blankets over the two of you. You turned to lay on your side as he got up to blow out all of the candles. When he finally got back in bed, he pulled you into him, your back against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you," Nikolai whispered.

You closed your eyes. "I love you, too."

"Good night."

You softly smiled to yourself. "Good night."

[drinix]

A Vow for Eternity

02 - The day you met (frozen he held his breath)

General Kirigan X Female Reader

Part 01

Warnings: None at all. This series encompass mainly romance, fluff, angst.

Summary: A Princess embroiled in an arranged betrothal to the most feared General Aleksander Kirigan, the leader of the Second Army in Ravka. Would this be a mere political alliance or something more than it meets the eye?

Happy Reading!!

Bonus:

“ So I’m to be married to a man, I have never met in my existence?”, You barked out. “ I thought the sole purpose of attending the Winter Fete to reunite with my cousins and have fun in the least.”

You were the cousin of Vasily and Nikolai Lantsov who was cherished by everyone in the Grand Palace. You shared a thick bond with your cousins; yes, even with Vasily to everyone’s utter surprise. In fact, you were the sister they never had. You had recently concluded your studies at the University of Ketterdam and returned to the palace only to discover that you had been promised to the General of the Second Army. As much as you immensely opposed the proposal, you couldn’t go against the King’s wish.

“This is your return to the court of the Grand Palace after all of the years you spent studying at Ketterdam”. Your father said in a soothing tone. “And the King expressed his interest in looking for suitable match for you to which you are obviously averse” He said, booping your nose with a smile settling on his face.

“And what if I don’t want to marry anyone, what if I want to stay here with you without going to Os Alta”, You blurted out, holding onto the hand of your father.

“Oh my little y/n” He said, pulling you closer to him. “ You will always be my little girl.” He paused for while. “Besides, your perception of relationships may change when you meet him.”, He said chuckling teasingly. “Young hearts change rapidly in the face of love“

“So to speak” You muttered, looking at the garden through the windows. Love was the very last thing that sat on the verge of your mind but there you were hopelessly entangled in a betrothal to a man you hardly knew or rather met.

“Now that you’re General Kirigan’s fiancée, during your stay at the palace, it’s my wish that you stay under the protection of the Second Army rather than the First”, He said. “I have already had an audience with the King and the Black General regarding this and they even agreed with my suggestion”

“And do I know this Black General? Sorry, My fiancé” You asked your father with hint of amusement. Certainly, you knew who the Black General was but you had never had the opportunity to meet him in person so you didn’t have the faintest idea about what he looked like.

“General Kirigan, the leader of the Second Army. Not to mention that he is also your future husband” Those words felt like an enormous burden on your shoulders.

He, in fact, was the most feared and the most invincible person in all of Ravka; the leader of the Second Army. A dashingly handsome, authoritarian General who struck terror into any person that dared to speak against him. Considered as the most powerful Grisha in the realm, his powerful demeanor and unrivaled aura were striking depictions of how well respected he was or feared by the people. His mere presence demanded attention and obedience which rattled every vein of his enemies. Although King Pyotr the Third was still on the throne, it was a well known fact that the General had a significant influence on the King, however, the King was still the King, and even the General was committed to play by the book but it didn’t deprive him of having his way. True, the King was still the King, but the General was also still the General, who was often referred to, by the First Army soldiers as the Black General. General Alexander Kirigan.

“You will be introduced to him in the Winter Fete. He hasn’t met you yet, I know. But he knows who and what you are capable of ” He said with a reassuring smile. You raised your brow agitatedly. “He assured that he would take every necessary measure to ensure your safety.“

“I just want to be home. I’ve been away in Ketterdam for too long” You said, hugging your father tightly. Even though you were a grown up young lady, you were the apple of your father’s eye.

“I loved your mother so much that I know home is a person and not a place. I hope you’ll find the same in whoever you fall in love with my sweetheart” He uttered looking at you with love.

“That is if I fall in love with a person. Why do you want to taunt me with the subject of love, relationships and all the nonsense at the slightest mention of my betrothal?” you replied, rolling your eyes. “Betrothals are for people who put duty before themselves, like me, like any other Royal. We are never meant to find love in it but accomplishment of duty”

Your father grinned as you uttered those words. “Loving a person is a choice for us milashka.”

“Well, I don’t have a choice here as you can see. Your King left me no choice” You pulled away from his embrace. “I don’t want to love the General, let alone be betrothed to him” You wanted to make yourself clear on the topic to refute any of the doubt he might have had.

“Let’s see what will become of that”, He said, stealing a glance at the invitation for the Winter Fete.

The Grand Palace brimmed with splendor with eye catching ornaments for the Winter Fete. Many aristocrats and their families had gathered in the banquet room, chatting with each other. Ladies in every nook and corner, relishing in their tittle tattles. They had already got a wind of your return to the palace and couldn’t wait to catch a glimpse of you.

“Rumor has it, the Princess’s engagement has already been decided by the King” said a lady in hefty dress that is twice the size of her.

“Is it to a Fjeardan Prince or General Zlatan?” Another joins the bevy of the women with a glass of wine in her hand. “My husband told me a few days ago about the King’s intention to form an alliance.” It was no secret even in the court of the Grand Palace that General of the First Army, General Zlatan’s endeavors to form a new country, separating the West from the East Ravka.

“None of them. The formal announcement has already been made.” A duchess chipped in. Whenever there was gossip, despite their ranks and social status, everyone flocked together to hear the latest tea. “General Kirigan is the lucky one” The ladies listened with their mouths agape with incredulity.

“Impossible” Few muttered, still finding it hard to believe. General Kirigan was one of the dashing men, many of the ladies in that room would throw themselves at him willingly yet they were intimidated by one mere glance of the General.

The King and the Queen accompanied by their two Princes, Prince Vasily and Nikolai waited impatiently for your arrival as much another person in the room. It had been years since they last saw you, just before you left for Ketterdam. It was like waiting for you to come home to fill the palace again with all the happiness.

They had always loved you as their own since you were born. At least this time, it was their hope that you’d stay in the Grand Palace with them until the wedding, rather than living in an estate far away from the capital.

“I present you, Princess Y/N Lantsov” The footman announced as you stepped into the banquet room holding your father’s hand. All of sudden, a pin drop wafted over the banquet room. The orchestra paused playing music, the chit chat in the corners of the room wound up and all the eyes were fixated on you as you made your way, smiling at the crowd on either side of you, towards the King and the Queen.

She’s breathtaking…Isn’t she the most gorgeous?…..Look at that dress, how extravagant! You could hear all the bells and whistles people whispered in awe to each other as you walked past them. You noticed that that some noblemen staring at you with their mouths agape. Ogling rather than staring

You performed a deep curtsy in courtesy of the King and Queen. The King and Queen were overjoyed to receive you. Their smiles said it all. You smiled back at them. You sensed that there’s someone else in the room, looking at you intently too. Despite your urge to scour the whole room with a glance to see who that was, you were too nervous to even look at the King and the King for more than mere five seconds.

You grabbed your father’s hand tightly as you felt anxiety washing over you. “Relax, milashka”He whispered under his breath as he felt that you were nervous.

“Princess Y/N, we are more than delighted to welcome you back “ The King said joyfully while the Queen came forward to embrace you.

“It’s a pleasure to be back, moi tsar, moya tsaritsa” You mumbled while giving her an awkward hug. “How beautiful my niece has become” You could hear the sounds of approval as the Queen made the remark.

“Let me introduce you to your fiancé” The King stood up from the throne. From the way his eyes gleamed in excitement, you could tell how thrilled he was. Each and every person in the room was turned their attention to him eagerly.

“General Kirigan” He gestured towards the man who was standing next to him. As the people blocking his way moved aside to make way for him, you came across a glimpse of dark hair and broad shoulders clad in a magnificent black kefta. He was not only a dashing young man even beyond the societal parameters, but also an intriguing enigma confined in a kefta. His mere presence was so powerful and magnetic which swallowed every molecule of air in the room like a black hole consuming a newborn star. You felt the pull of it all across the room.

As you lifted your chin, your eyes made its way from the black leather boots he was wearing to the thick sleek darkest brown hair, revealing the appearance of your future husband. The sharp features on his face only accentuated the rugged masculine charm than detracting it. The elusive General of the Second Army, every woman in the court wanted and no one could get. A spike of chill ran through your spine as your heart beat like thrumming wings of a caged bird.

As his deep and velvety eyes met with yours, his piercing gaze softened gradually but never deflected from your gaze. There was something about his eyes or rather him despite your unwavering (now wavering) determination to avoid him as much as possible. You were not the only one who was scanning their partner from head to toe.

The General had already thought through about how he would greet you. He was determined to force a smile on his face.

He approached you through the crowd and behind him were his trusted heartrenders, Ivan and Fedyor.

“Moya tsarevna, moi tsaravich “ General Kirigan greeted you and your father whilst his chestnut eyes immediately flicked back to yours. “It’s an honour to finally meet you, my fiancée” It didn’t sound as warm and friendly as a fiancé would usually greet his beloved. He kissed your hand as a formal way of greeting a princess. An icy cold kiss devoid of any emotion, yearning to get rid of the hand it touched.

“So you’re the General. I have heard many tales about you. Spine-chilling ones, to be specific.” You responded, knowing that tales were not so pleasant ones; ones that boasted about his success as the Black General yet nerve-racking.

“I recently came to light that there are more formidable things that lie beneath this pretty face” There was a cold undertone in his voice that conveyed that he was not so charming as he seemed to be apparently. As much as he was intrigued by you, he couldn’t conceal the fact that he didn’t wish to be any Romeo to you.

“I don’t intend to steal your thunder, General. You don’t have to worry about that.” You pursed your lips as you looked away as you noticed a girl in blue kefta entrenched with gold embroidery looking at you disdainfully who was later introduced to you as the Sun Summoner, Alina Starkov.

Fedyor who had been standing behind the General with other Grisha, nudged at Ivan. “See, General knows how to make an impression”

“He certainly does” Ivan replied in a lower voice. “Way less romantic though. This is how I’d flirt with a Fjeardan witch hunter ”

You could swear that you heard Fedyor’s stifled cackle.

“She’s truly gorgeous. Did you see how many of our men were staring at her.”

“Oh yeah. Did you see the look on the General’s face. Our man needs to up his game.”

“He didn’t take his eyes away from her even for a minute. Actually five minutes to be precise. I checked the time.” Genya cut in the conversation.

“Shhh! Don’t say it out loud. He’ll never admit it “ Ivan chuckled seeing that the General had not still let go of your hand. He was still holding your hand in his and his chestnut eyes were fixated on you, looking into your soul. His steady glance could pierce through the most toughest of metals, then there was you.

You slid your palm out of his, without melting in his relentless gaze.

[bladeinthedark]

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x female!reader Request: hi! could i request a nikolai x heartrender reader where the reader helps comfort/take care of nikolai after he turns back to himself after turning into the monster one night? tysm! <3

Summary: When everything is falling apart around Nikolai, you’re there to support him and bring more peace into his life. Words: 4k Warnings: mentions of blood/injuries, lots of angst

You had been in the King’s service for quite a while. When you had first joined the Second Army as a child, you never imagined to one day find yourself in the King of Ravka’s inner circle, but now you were one of the first to be called to the King if he needed help. 

The help you could offer was mostly connected to the powers gifted to you. Being a heartrender secured lots of different tasks in the King’s service for you, but there was one task given you that was the most important.

Countless times you had sat on the King’s bedside, your fingers moving over his palm as you slowed down his heartbeat. Nikolai’s dishevelled blonde hair was spread over the pillow, his eyes losing focus again and again as he desperately tried to look at you. “It’s alright, moi tsar,” you whispered, your voice reflecting the desperation inside you. It hurt you to see him like this. Over and over again. 

When his eyes closed, his heartbeat slowing to a sleepy rate, you stayed for a bit longer than needed. How many times would you have to do this again?

Today had been a slow day at the palace. Genya had left this morning to head out to a First Army camp, Zoya leaving to take a ship to Kerch for some private business she had. That meant you and Nikolai were basically alone in the palace for a few days. At least when it came to your friends. 

David was still there, but he didn’t like to come out of his workshop anyway, unless Genya made him. 

However, just because your two closest friends were away didn’t mean you didn’t have any work to do. You had a heartrendering lesson to teach today, out on the grounds of the Little Palace, with the teens this time. You didn’t have a preference when it came to teaching different age groups, but all of them had a different way of listening to you and then learning from the moves you made. 

It was a stormy day today and the clouds were dark, heavy with the upcoming rain. You liked to train outside and teach with the fresh air around you. It was a calming atmosphere for a lot of students and for you as well.

Yet your time was cut short. It soon started pouring rain, thunder roaring in the sky and you quickly directed everyone to get back inside the palace. “We will continue the lesson tomorrow,” you assured them. You wanted to teach a new unit and it wasn’t worth it trying to gather everyone in a room again. Until silence would have settled, your time would already be over. 

So you spent the rest of your day going over letters that had been sent to you in your office. You cut them open neatly, read through them and then made two different piles. The one on your left would be for letters that didn’t require a response and the one on your right would be the ones that you had to get back to at some point. The right pile ended up being much higher than the first one.

You dipped your quill into a small bottle of ink, starting to write your letter to a Commander of the First Army. He had requested a few Second Army troops, but you couldn’t give him what he wanted at the moment. 

A knock on the door made you look up from the parchment. “Come in,” you said, but you already knew who it was. You would recognise that heartbeat anywhere. It was the one you so frequently looked for, calming it, gifting this heart a well needed rest. 

“Moi tsar,” you greeted the King when he closed the door behind him. He was wearing his uniform, blond hair slightly dishevelled, a few strands hanging down onto his forehead. He pushed the sleeves of his brown jacket up as he made his way over to you. Your desk was standing by the window, the lightning outside illuminating the scene every now and then. 

“You still call me that every time,” Nikolai chuckled, pulling the chair from your dressing table over to the desk. He sat down opposite of you, a grin on his face. “What is my favourite heartrender working on, huh?” He seemed to be in a good mood. Just a few nights ago you had visited his chambers to free him from his pain again. To free him from the hold the monster had on him even after it visibly disappeared.

Nikolai had become more than just your prince or your king over the years. He had become a good friend, a best friend. You trusted him with your life and he trusted you with his. 

After the monster had settled inside him after that fateful fight, he came to you for help. He knew you couldn’t make it go away, but you could grant him a little peace every time that dark storm raged inside him again. He trusted you, to make this your shared secret and to look after him in some way. This situation made your bond even stronger, unbreakable. Whenever his body ached, his heart dared to burst out of his chest and he was haunted by visions and nightmares, you were there to bring him calm, like the sound of soft ocean waves hitting the shore or the birds singing outside of his window. 

Nikolai wasn’t too sure if what he was feeling in his stomach sometimes, when he looked at you, was only the feeling of relief, someone coming to help him. It felt more like something that reached a lot deeper. 

He had so much admiration for you. Even when his limbs were filled with pain, when his hands felt like they were on fire, shivers sometimes ran through his body whenever you touched him. Your soft fingertips running over his skin left a mark on him no one else could. He wanted to carry that feeling around all day, at all times. 

“Just answering some letters. There have been quite a few letters from the First Army,” you explained to him, but placed the quill down to make sure Nikolai knew he had all your attention.

“And what is my favourite king doing on a stormy day like this?” You asked, a smile on your face. Talking to Nikolai always felt so easy, so natural. There were no secrets between you two.

Except for the yearning deep inside you. The urge to kiss his forehead whenever you helped him fall asleep. The desire to lace your fingers together whenever he put his hand out to you. His pink lips looking so inviting when you came to check up on him in the morning. 

Everything about Nikolai was admirable. His looks, his personality, even the way he carried himself. Yet you felt like giving in to these feelings, your deepest desires, would be a death sentence for your friendship. 

For you, Nikolai was a good friend. For others, he was their king, representing a country that had been divided for centuries. He had more important things to do than form a deeper relationship with a heartrender in his service. There was enough space for you in his life to be a friend, but your love might be too big to fit his chest in times like these.

You could still dream about it at night though. Every now and then.

“I’m your favourite king? I didn’t know there was another one,” he chuckled and then picked one of the grapes from your fruit bowl. You always kept something to eat around when you were working on your desk.

“I started to-” he said with a full mouth, but then paused to speak clearly again. “I started going over some documents as well. Was really boring though, so I’m here now to check up on you.”

Nikolai did complain about his work load sometimes, but you knew that he would do even more if he had to. He would do anything for this country and make it a peaceful, balanced place again after all the chaos it had to endure over the years. The Darkling’s terror was over, as was the horrible irresponsibly of his father. The young king was here to put things right again. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re keeping me company. The palace is a lot more quiet when Genya and Zoya are gone, don’t you think?” You leaned back in your chair, crossing your legs while Nikolai continued to eat some of the grapes. 

“Yeah, it is. I don’t see David getting dragged around as much as usual.”

You let out a chuckle at his answer, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “He needs to get out of the workshop sometimes, you know that.”

“I do, I do,” the blonde man insisted, eventually playing with the letters you had deemed as unimportant. “So, will you join me for dinner tonight?”

Dinner? You didn’t know when you had dinner alone, just the two of you, for the last time.

“Just us. Won’t even drag David out of the workshop.”

A tingling sensation spread in your stomach. A dinner for just the two of you sounded almost too good to be true. But it was surely a thing between friends. Catching up on recent work, enjoying a day inside since the weather was so horrible…

“I would love to,” you agreed eventually, nodding reassuringly.

A grin spread over Nikolai’s face and his eyes lit up. Not only due to the lightning that basked your room in light again. 

“Then I will see you at the usual time, my favourite heartrender.”

Then he was gone, leaving you with a fast beating heart and the urge to count down the seconds until dinner. 

Dinner with Nikolai never came.

You sat in the dining hall at the long table, in your usual spot, right next to the King’s seat at the head of the table. The rain was still splattering against the window rapidly, the candles on the table were reflecting their light onto the polished plates in front of you. 

Your hands fumbled with the sleeves of your red kefta, a sigh leaving your lips. 

The white and golden walls of the room were starting to make you feel trapped in this room. Guards were standing outside, but the room itself, it was empty, except for you. 

The eerie silence was only interrupted by the pitter-patter of the rain and the thunder roaring outside. Your gaze travelled over portraits and expensive furniture, over all the gold and glamour you were surrounded with.

Anything to distract you from the pressure in your chest.

Did Nikolai just forget about your meeting? No, he wasn’t someone to do that.

Did he deem something else as more important? Maybe, but he would have told you. He would have sent someone to inform you about any changes in his schedule, especially if there was something planned with you.

Did something happen to him? 

The thought alone sent a wave of nausea through you. Your fingers tapped against the polished table, feeling continuously nervous. You couldn’t just sit around here all night. 

You pushed back the chair and then stormed towards the large double doors that led back into the hallway of the palace. 

“Miss-”

It was probably one of the guards wanting to stop you from leaving. He probably had some kind of excuse on his lips why you should stay, but you knew that something must have happened if Nikolai didn’t appear at the promised time. 

Too much time had already passed. He could be dead by now. And you had been sitting around, waiting for the food to be served. 

When you turned the corner, wanting to head straight to Nikolai’s office to look if he was there, David came rushing towards you. His hair was even more dishevelled than usual, sweat was pooling on his forehead and he was out of breath by the time he reached you. 

“Where is Nikolai?” 

It was all you said. He must know. 

“He’s in his chambers. I was about to call you for-” 

You didn’t need another explanation. Without waiting a second longer, you left David standing in the hallway and your feet took you to Nikolai’s chambers as fast as you could. The walls around you seemed to be spinning by the time you arrived in the other wing of the palace, standing in front of the king’s chambers. 

“Saints,” you breathed out, already being able to hear Nikolai’s rapid heartbeat. 

You slipped into his room, locking the door behind you. 

Nikolai was sitting on the edge of the bed, blood running down his temple, claws still present on his hands. He was shirtless, his chest filled with bruises and scratches. 

Your heart almost stopped. You didn’t like to see him in pain. Then there was the overwhelming urge to take it from him, to tend to his wounds somehow, even if you weren’t a healer. 

“Nikolai,” you breathed out and he turned to look at you. He seemed to look right past you for a moment, until his eyes seemed to fill with tears. “My favourite heartrender,” he croaked, lifting his arm to reach out to you.

In a few big steps, you were by the bed, in front of him. 

You knew he had turned into the monster again. He had probably fought with an animal, maybe losing himself between tree branches again, their sharp ends poking through his skin. Your hands found his and he visibly tensed up again. 

“The claw-” he started, but you were quick to interrupt him. 

“I don’t care, Nikolai. I don’t care,” you whispered, voice breaking as tears welled up in your eyes as well. All this pain for a young man with already too much weight on his shoulders.

For a moment, you closed your eyes, focusing on his heart rate once more. As you had done so many times before. His heartbeat was a familiar sound in your ear, a sound following to your dreams as if it was pounding exactly like yours. 

Nikolai relaxed, his heart slowing down once more and his breathing regulating again as well. 

“It’s alright,” you whispered and kneeled down in front of him. His claws slowly disappeared and you watched him close his eyes for a moment. His jaw unclenched and a single tear ran down his cheek, but you were quick to wipe it away.

“Everything’s alright,” you reassured him, slowly getting back onto your feet and grabbing a towel from the nearby dressing table. With precision, you wiped the blood off his temple, before sitting down next to him on the bed. 

Nikolai didn’t look at you for what seemed like an eternity. His gaze was fixed on his hands as if they were displaying a horror he had never seen before. His breathing stayed the same but you could feel his heartbeat slowly rising once more. Your hand found its way onto his back, trying to keep him calm, using your powers to assist that goal. 

The lightning outside lit up the room again. You could see more blood stains on Nikolai’s arms and his chest. His blonde hair was darker from dirt gathered in it. A sign of his journey, of the fate he was haunted by. 

The monster would always be a part of him.

And comforting him would always be your priority.

“Want me to run you a bath?” You asked softly, fingers gliding over his bare back. Under different circumstances, you would have used the time to enjoy the view in front of you. Seeing his bare skin, his hard chest and wondering what it would feel like to let your lips meet his soft skin.

But this was far from any of the scenarios you wished for in your head.

A nod from your king. 

You left him in his bed for a moment as you prepared the bathtub in the adjacent bathroom. You also got some fresh towels ready as well as some thin pants for Nikolai to sleep in, together with his night robe. 

By the time everything was prepared, Nikolai was standing in the door already. He seemed a bit more collected now. “I need that bath,” he mumbled and started opening his pants. You turned around, staring at the wall in front of you with burning cheeks. 

When you heard Nikolai settle in the bathtub, you dared to turn around again. The bubbles and foam were covering enough so you could only make out parts of the man’s chest. It still didn’t stop your own heartbeat from rising. Tending to his wounds was usually less intimate than watching him lean back in the bathtub, arms resting on either side of it. 

“I will wait in the bedroom,” you assured him, but you were just by the door as his voice sounded through the room again. 

“Stay here.”

You turned around to face him and there was a desperation in his eyes you hadn’t seen before. They seemed to be pleading with you to stay, to not leave him alone. 

“I will.”

His expression relaxed once more and then he reached out for you. Your legs felt weak as you made your way closer to the tub, eventually letting your hands meet. His fingers intertwined with yours easily, as if they belonged into that position. Your eyes met again and the pain in them was gone. It had made space for something else – adoration. 

His hazel eyes closed for another moment and when he opened them again, tears were dwelling on the edges, but a smile was on visible on his lips. “Thank you for doing this. For… all of this,” he whispered, his voice almost being drowned out by the sound of the rain outside. 

You slowly knelt down to bring yourself to about the same height as Nikolai in the bathtub. Your other hand went to cover his as you kept it in a strong hold. You could feel the pulse in his arms, the loud beating of his heart and you knew that he was enjoying this moment just as much as you were. It just raised the question inside of you where all of this would go eventually. Would you be able to confess your feelings for the King? For someone you had sworn to protect and serve, but had found a good friend in instead? 

His hand let go of yours and for a moment, you felt disappointment sink into your stomach. But Nikolai’s hand soon found the back of your neck, warmth spreading there and goosebumps making their way to every part of your body. You held your breath for a second as you felt a slight pressure on your neck. Nikolai moved you just a bit closer as he leaned forward as well. You were able to feel his breath on your lips, a shiver running down your back. You were so close – close enough to kiss. 

“Can I?” His voice was barely more than a whisper. 

The words were stuck in your throat, so all you did was nod, too afraid to destroy the moment and the silence between you. 

Then his lips were on yours, light as a feather, but it seemed to shake you to your core. It felt wonderful, almost like flying, and as if a heavy weight was finally taken from your shoulder. The heat in your cheeks was rising, your hand finding its way into Nikolai’s blonde hair, slightly wet from the bath. 

The pressure on your neck increased, so you moved forward a bit, enough to make it easier for the kiss to become deeper, more passionate. Kissing someone had never felt this good and when your hands cupped Nikolai’s cheeks, you could practically hear his heartbeat jumping. His hand stayed in your neck, a sign that he didn’t want this to end. Maybe ever. 

Only when you had to breathe again, did you dare to pull away. His eyes were darker, filled with a tint of lust, but more importantly, his breathing had changed. It was faster, like his heartbeat. “You don’t know how many times I had wanted to do this.” 

His confession was unexpected, but very welcome. “Me too.” It was just fair that he knew your feelings as well. For a moment, you regretted not saying something, or doing something, sooner, so you could have enjoyed this a lot earlier. But everything was perfect the way it was. 

Slowly, with wobbly legs, you stood up again, but your eyes never left Nikolai’s as you walked over and grabbed a bathrobe and towels for him. “As much as I like kissing you, I think you need to wash all the blood off and get into your bed. Then maybe, you can get another kiss?”

A grin appeared on the King’s face at your words. It was filled with love, adoration and most importantly, he seemed happy. His shoulders didn’t look as tense anymore and the horror in his face had left, traces of the monster inside him fully retreated. 

“Then I must get to bed immediately,” he agreed and as he slowly lifted himself out of the tub, you turned around to give him his privacy. 

You watched the lightning outside, seeing the branches of the trees shaking in the wind. It was a beautiful sight, but you shivered at the thought of Nikolai being out there earlier, flying through the storm, coming back with wounds and blood all over him. 

Arms wrapped around your waist, Nikolai’s head resting on your shoulder as he pulled you closer against him from behind. The bathrobe felt soft against you, but his breath at your cheek was enough to make your legs feel weak as well. A kiss was planted onto your cheek and you could feel Nikolai’s heartbeat slowing down more and more. He was relaxing, finally getting some emotional rest. But you would have to get him to bed as well, so he can let his body regenerate. 

“Let’s go to bed,” you whispered, before turning around in his arms. Hands found their way to your hips as you looked at the man in front of you. The smile was still apparent on his lips, the same excitement and love in his eyes as before. “I can’t even say no to you when you say it like that,” he smiled, taking your hand again as he walked back into his bedroom, eventually getting into bed himself. 

You sat down on the edge again, taking his hand into your own and moving two fingers up and down on his arm. “Are you going to make me sleep again?” His voice was soft and you would have thought it might indicate that he did not want to sleep yet, but his tired eyes, now struggling to stay open, spoke another story. 

“If you want me to,” you answered, not forcing anything upon him. When the beast didn’t let go of his heart, making it race over and over, and he wasn’t able to calm down, then you did force him to sleep once or twice. But Nikolai seemed alright now, not in need of heartrending-induced sleeping. 

“I do. But only after you’ve given me a kiss,” he demanded, sitting up a bit in bed again as he leant forward to you. A smile on his lips, he pursed his lips, expecting a kiss from you. 

You were certainly not going to deny him that. 

Leaning forward, your lips met again, the same intoxicating feeling making its way through your body. Your hands cupped his warm cheeks, smiling into the kiss as you fully enjoyed the goosebumps, the shivers, all the sensations this was giving you. Nikolai’s lips felt like heaven, there was no doubt about it. 

When you pulled away again, his cheeks had turned a darker colour, but he let himself drop into the pillow with a satisfied smile. 

“Goodnight, my favourite heartrender,” he whispered, smile on his lips as he closed his eyes.

You couldn’t hold back your own smile and the content feeling in your stomach become even more apparent. 

“Goodnight, Nikolai.”

You sat there for another moment. You would always keep him safe.