#ngl chat this fucked me up a lot

[teawithghosts]

I'm sorry but Silco having his jacket tucked inside Vander's is just so intimate.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[tcfactory]

Having stumbled into like. Mild success with a few fics that were waaay canon divergent and get them praised for the worldbuilding I did makes it all the more bleh that anything else I do outside of that fandom is still just. Crickets.

I wish I was one of those artists/writers who can grab people with their style or creative ideas so people will give their wild ideas a try even if its not something that's their usual pairing/fandom...

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..

[callilouv]

idk if i rlly am unable to feel intense hate for something or i conditioned myself into thinking that hating soemthing makes me even more of a bad person so i refuse to feel such things HMMM

[todayisafridaynight]

joining the conversation except im actually not im starting a new one. WHY WAS ONE MISSED CALL SCARYYYYY i figured it'd be spooky yeah cause horror movie but then it changed to creepy...and then it changed to scary and i screamed like 6 times..sigh. at least ttm was there tho my saviour my lifeline im just a scaredy cat i think

YOU WEENIE WE WERE ALL GONNA WATCH THAT TOGETHER ON STREAM 🗣️🗣️

prob better to have watched it solo first anyway Spoilers my ass Will Not Shut Up durin movie time i promise LMAO BUT ANYWAY YEAH NO IT'S GREAT INNIT ??? it's sooooo funny how bad the american version does the movie... like lmao... im grateful though because when i was looking at ttm's imdb and i saw the movie i audibly went 'isn't this movie really shit wait a minute' and that's what made me watch it (╯▽╰ ) now its onea my fave movies..

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 31] || [Chapter 33]

Pairing: Gaz x gn!Reader || Ghost x gn!Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.3K~ cw: not angst but a bit 'angsty', fluff fluff fluff. Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: This one made me all emosh to write ngl.

Chapter 32: No Harm Done.

You're sitting by the sliding glass door leading out to the balcony on Sunday morning, looking out and holding a warm drink in your hands.

It's raining outside. It's always raining in England, so it shouldn't really surprise you... but it still feels like a lazy, down-sort of day regardless.

You're home alone. Johnny went to base for P.T. and a meeting of sorts, while Kyle went out to the gym himself, giving you some time for yourself.

Your phone sits in front of you, fingers tapping away, back-and-forth, between chats with friends and with the lads, your lads.

Ghost said they'd text you to let you know when they were back, a promise they'd made after they sort of just turned up at your door all injured and hurt without warning so many weeks ago.

It feels like it's been an eternity since you had them all here.

Your eyes find your chat with Simon, flittering over the last couple of texts you sent each other. Right before the boys left on their newest mission.

Regardless of what Kyle and Johnny say about Simon, he's actually the best texter out of all of them... John being the worst.

simon: Have about 5 minutes before we have to go. you: will u be safe? simon: Always am sweetheart. simon: Don't you worry about me. you: i meant ALL of you. you: and of course i worry about u! simon: If it was about all of us, you wouldn't be messaging me separately. simon: And I appreciate it but you shouldn't. you: i hate how smart u are. you: u face death literally every day in your job simon: And I always come back. you: okay but im allowed to worry no? you: youd worry about the others too? simon: I guess so. simon: But I'll be fine. you: u dont know that. simon: I know enough. simon: Been doing this for over a decade. you: that's not reassuring the way you think it is. simon: You're very worried. Is this because of what I said?

That text makes you set down your phone when you read it again, your face warm with embarrassment at the reminder, just like it had been during that text exchange as it was happening.

He had told you he loves you. Two of them had by now.

The thought of that still makes you shiver, the words so full of emotion and vulnerability when Simon said them, never any pressure on you, just a gesture on his end.

you: maybe? simon: That's really cute of you. simon: Don't let it make you worry or overthink. simon: I'll make sure I come back to you. you: si... simon: GTG ✋ simon: Will text you when I touch down.

Kyle's, however, were a lot less vulnerable. They were sweet, sudden, driven by happiness and amusement...

Both of them came out of left field and caught you off-guard.

Both of them felt just as real, however.

You took a sip of your warm drink and glanced out of the window again, watching the droplets slide down the glass panes.

You can't help but think about how things have been going for you.

Is this becoming too much? Is it going too far? Did you finally lose the plot?

When did a silly little Tinder account you made with your friends while fighting heartbreak become a 4-way relationship and 2 out 4 men telling you they're in love with you?

You're lost in thought when the door opens behind you, Kyle making his way in.

"Hey, lovie." He greeted, causing you to jump a bit, spilling some of your drink over the glass top of the table.

"Ah, fuck." You complained as you reached for the napkin holder and started mopping up the liquid. "Hi, Ky." You added as you cleaned the mess you made.

"Sorry, did I catch you off guard?" He asked as he approached the table and began to help you.

"Yeah..." You murmured and looked up at him, finally, finding him in a grey sleeveless hoodie and black workout shorts.

You smiled softly at him as you gathered the wet napkins and moved to the kitchen to dispose of them.

Kyle seemed to catch the look in your eyes as you glanced up at him. "What's wrong? You seem strange..." He asked as you followed you into the kitchen.

"Just thinking, it's nothing." You told him as you turned after throwing out the rubbish, only to find him standing right behind you, looking at you with scrunched brows.

"Is this about yesterday?" He asked you softly. "Was it too early?" He added in earnest.

The memories of the day before come back to you sharply. The way, after he told you he loved you, you sputtered for a bit, your face burning up, your eyes wide...

And how you had come back home together, your nose still pink, his cheek still red, the both of you looking embarrassed and sheepish, avoiding eye contact and biting your lip.

How Johnny had teased the two of you, thinking you had gotten down and dirty in the car and that's why you had come home looking so embarrassed...

You look up at him with a sigh and shake your head. "No, it's just..." You trailed off.

"Was it because Soap teased us after we came back?" He reached forward and gently ran a hand over your cheek.

"No!" You added and sighed, leaning into his palm, and gently holding his forearm in your hand.

"I'm just worried... I've never... been in something like this before." You explained, as you looked into his eyes. "More than one partner and-"

Kyle nodded at you, watching you with understanding eyes and a soft gaze, like he wanted you to keep talking, communicating.

"I don't know how to act about this... I don't know..." You trailed off and looked away for a moment. "It's... a strange feeling."

"To love more than one person at once?" He asked you as his brows raised in inquiry.

You nodded in response and looked up at him. "Yeah... And to... have them love me back."

"So I wasn't the first to tell you, huh?" Kyle asked, having caught the way you mentioned 'more than one person' when it came to 'loving you back'.

Your face burned up hot in embarrassment and you shook your head at him.

"Simon was." You replied, which made Kyle's eyes widen and then a smile take over his lips as he shook his head.

"Wasn't expecting that..." Kyle admitted as he caressed your cheek again.

"Did you say it back for him? Like you did for me?" He asked and you nodded your head in reply.

"Well..." Kyle trailed off, seemingly lost in thought for a moment, as if pondering what to say, and how to say it. "It's not exactly a bad feeling, is it?"

You shook your head. It wasn't a bad feeling. In fact, you quite liked having said the words, having had the words said to you.

"Then, I'd say there's not a big cause for worry. We all knew this would happen, right?" He added. You, once again, nodded at him.

Gently, he cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks. "Then, let's just... let it be." He chuckled.

"You and I love each other. You and Simon love each other. I love Simon too..." He admitted with a shrug. "No harm done, right?"

Smiling a bit more, you ended up nodding and gently pushed up, kissing him slowly and deeply, both of your eyes closing, his hands caressing your face, your hands caressing his forearms...

You're so into the kiss, you don't hear the front door close, nor Johnny approach, until he shows up at the kitchen door. "Greedy bastard, leave some space for the Tav, will ye?"

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,

@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien ,

@l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago ,

@sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki ,

@comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear ,

@mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat ,

@stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving ,

@blckbrrybasket , @agoodmoviekiss

[okthatsgreat]

did anybody see the newest episode of danganronpa 52 lollllllll

#there is something deeply wrong with team dr im afraid #A DEATH SO SOON JESUSSSSSS where was the ult cardiologist at......... #dr52 liveblog #dr52 spoilers #lee chat

5 notes

🐻 dangronper Follow

Gonna try getting into the new season lol, I stopped watching at season 37. No spoilers please

🐻 dangronper Follow

Okay wow a lot has changed! Everything is so high tech now??? I kinda miss when they just kept it more simple and had them all locked in a school ngl but maybe thats just me liking season 1 lol. Im really liking Jiro so far Im hoping he at least makes it to chapter 3 because I really wanna know more about that guy

🐻 dangronper Follow

You've gotta be kidding.

#CHAPTER ONE? HE DIED CHAPTER ONE? #THIS IS WHY I HATE ALL OF THE NEW SEASONS SO FUCKIGN BAD #THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT SHOCK VALUE AND THEY DONT CARE ABOUT STORY #THAT DEATH MAKES NO SENSE THERE ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING #Im logging off.

4 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

12,433 notes

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

just a reminder that wishing death on any of the danganronpa writers makes you a terrible person and all of your favorite danganronpa characters hate you if you do that! 🤗 this is danganronpa so a lot of them will die 🤗 that doesnt mean you get to be a dickhead to team dr 🤗 get over it! 🤗

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my god can anybody in this fandom just be normal and not use this weird passive aggressive tone for every single post. the writers do not give less of a fuck and neither do the actors theyre all dealing with their own shit

#i hate this fandom istg. and stop calling them characters the flashback light doesnt make them entirely fake #theyre still actual people #with feelings #danganronpa 52

769 notes

🍀luckyguy Follow

this is NOT what ultimate hope makoto naegi would have wanted

#dr52 spoilers #lucky student killed first chapter <;/3 #shut up you [txt]

4,013 notes

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

kazuichi sighted in the new post-season promo video he looks so g.ood .... . id let him do anything to me

🌸 neverminded Following

@kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

HELLO?

34 notes

🔪 danganronpa Following

Puhuhu! New episode of DANGANRONPA 52 out TODAY at 1pm JST! Make sure to bring your popcorn and your bagels, this episode sure gets.... despairful 👀You won't wanna miss it!

🍀luckyguy Follow

K

🔱 ultscubafan Follow

U

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

N

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

G

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

P

9,012 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

can early season purists please get their heads out of nagito komaedas ass. he does not want to fuck you

106 notes

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

Waiittttt Jiro is so cute actually XD He keeps tripping over his shoelaces in the background of scenes LOL he's so smol ..............

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

#he's DEAD?????????????????????????????????

2 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

keep in mind the danganronpa actors are still real people and they can see all of you thirsting over them ok. please be normal. just because they went through the effects of the flashback light doesnt mean its ok to be a fucking weirdo to hajime whenever he walks outside

🧊 kokoroicebox Follow

They're celebrities. People are going to find celebrities attractive, especially if these are people they see on screens and billboards every day. If you pick up the nearest magazine you find you're probably going to find Junko Enoshima in it. And maybe you should consider that those "weirdos" who are walking up to Hajime are simply fans that want to greet him. We've watched these people fight through hell, cry, laugh, and find hope along the way. Of course we are going to get attached to them, especially to those of us who have been keeping up with them for a long time now. You're basically asking a bunch of teenagers to close their eyes and pretend their favorite media doesn't exist.

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

i literally did not say that

🌀 cageofdeath Follow

have you maybe ever considered that maybe some people get hyperfixations??

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my fucking god.

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

anybody in this thread smoke weed

1,034 notes

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

OKKKKK WAIT WHY IS RANTARO KINDA 👀👀👀

#the way he got so serious while investigating.............. #wasnt a huge fan of him at the start but he's growing on me lowkey #dr52 #danganronpa 52 #dr52 #orange speaks!

29 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#FUFUUUCUCKKCKCCKKKCKKCKC I REALLY LIEKD HIM!!!3!@!#(!# #FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #ORUUGH WHY COULDNT HAVE BEEN MOMO #dr52 lb

8 notes

🍧minimarruuuu Follow

no chapter 1 death is ever gonna beat sayaka imo #girl

#it just really started the series off so well and no other chapter 1 victim has impressed me tbh #ugh but idk shes kinda annoying now with all of her interviewssss like girl its ok to not smile sometimes lmfao #sayaka maizono #dr52 critical #maru.txt

11 notes

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

guy ists ok hes not actually dead hes just sleeping guys

#guys #danganronpa 52 #danganronpa 52 spoilers #<- ??? just in case

🔍 kirigiri Following

a

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

ok queen speak your truth i guess

🌸 neverminded Following

THIS MIGHT BE A CLUE THIS MGIHT BE A CLUE TO JIROS KILLER IM LOOKIGNGGGGG SO HARD AT AKEMI RIGHT NOW

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

i think she might have just accidentally posted a draft lol

🌸 neverminded Following

I dont know............. team dr has done this before where they leave littel clues in places and this seems a little TOO coincidental

🔍 kirigiri Following

I hit the post button too early.

🌸 neverminded Following

KYOKO KIRIGIRI?

43,033 notes

🐰monomini Follow

okkkkk im kinda over rantaro already lmao. heres hoping we dont get another season of him

1 note

[satoruhour]

OK but gojo would overuse cheezy lines because it makes reader laugh and roll her eyes, I can see him being so cheesy it hurts

a/n: DARLA U R FEEDING THE INSANITY I HAVE IN REGARDS TO GOJO !!!!!! this is so cutee ty for requesting !!!

yes very correct!!! he likes to find jokes in EVERYTHING i swear he’s so smart relating them to mochi or farts

“did you fart? cause you blew me away.” like…. that is not a romantic pick up line gojo…

hes not ashamed to say how he picked you up with a joke back in high school and all you did was roll your eyes (because he is was pretty annoying to you back then) and walk away

he had even bought your favourite drink to confess but all you did was roll your eyes and walk off… immediately flipping open your phone to text utahime and shoko in a group chat of the three of you

poor dude 😭😭

but you started to fall for him — you’re not too sure how and when, but you’re actually the one who used a lame pick up line to start the rs and not him!!

you were tempted to use his but you thought of something you knew he’d like and you’re almost mumbling it (gojo hears it the first time, like doesn’t he have six eyes? not six ears? smh)

he asks u to repeat it (“i like you very mochi…”) and he’s soooo annoying about it but ceases your misery with a big hug

continues to use it throughout your relationship - has SO many from the top of his head it’s quite a feat ngl

a little more into your relationship he teases you about love @ first sight — “do you believe in it? or should i walk past again?”

you almost slap him with your drink

when you’re going shopping for new clothes for megumi and tsumiki he points to his shirt

“know what this is made of?”

you deadpan, “what.” and the giggles are almost so difficult to hold back on gojo’s end.

“it’s boyfriend material.”

“satoru. you ARE my boyfriend.”

HES SO GOOFY I SWEARRR and he screams excitedly and does jazz hands and says “really?” with a cute, fairly punchable face 😭😭

that was the first time it really sunk in gojo was ur bf cause u bagged the strongest sorcerer? insanity. it made you smile a little, you cant lie

another time you’re teaching history to megumi as part as one of his middle school classes, and gojo shouts from the kitchen

“im studying to become a historian.”

and you almost spit out your drink cause what the fuck was he saying??? wasn’t he 25 and a super popular sorcerer

megumi says “oh no” and you think you know what’s coming. gojo finishes it

“i’m especially interested in finding a date.”

“oh COME ON.” and megumi leaves PLEASEKRNF hes so funny, “come teach me when you two stop flirting” 💀

safe to say megumi failed his history test

he plants these little things a lot, that soon you get accustomed to it or even answer it for him and he’s like whining

“you’re so sweet, baby,” and you know there’s a catch to everything he says

“yeah cause i give you a toothache, right”

“BABEEEEE ….” he attempts to give you the silent treatment for one hour. he lasts five minutes

you think it has something to do with age, maybe, cause the longer you’re with gojo the longer you find yourself liking the stupid lame pick-up lines he uses

like sure rolling eyes and giving him the finger is fun but they make your heart flutter at times and you find that you can’t stifle a smile that well around gojo anymore lolol

one day gojo broke the door off the hinges, honestly you dont know how either, so you head to IKEA

“your eyes are like IKEA, i could get lost in them for hours.” and you’re shoving him with a loud laugh, not really rolling your eyes.

he bombards you with lines as you act as suburban couples in the showrooms, he says something about meatballs and then you two really get lost

shrek movie night: “call me shrek cause i’m head ogre heels are you”

and you’re sputtering pizza all over the living room as you laugh, giving your own line that has you two forgetting about the movie. megumi rolls his eyes and smiles when he sees you two having fun :)

gojo likes your laugh, he likes to make u laugh, and he has a thousand and one more pick up lines to use on you

that night he uses “you’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line” and you gush, pushing him away with a shy smile and everything. he kisses you and whispers “i mean it.”

just know you’re fated to this stupid goofy man and his stupid pick up lines for the rest of your life <3

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER FIVE: STRUCK A MATCH AND BLEW YOUR MIND

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which you decide to reveal everything at brunch and chaos ensues. (wc: 8.3k+)

✦ warnings — ANGST!!, like this one is really angsty buckle up! argument </33, yelling, crying, mentions of an ab*sive relationship, it is not detailed by they talk A LOT about it, mentions of bruises, some trauma/making fun of trauma, chrissy being super mean and omfg reader is PETTY, jealousy, pining and slowburn, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic/ab*sive relationship, food!!, steve is silly luv him

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham, nancy wheeler x jonathan byers

✦ authors note — ngl this was fun to write LMAO but so hellish to edit JFC IM FINALLY DONE!! a few songs i listened to while i wrote this chapter are; liar by paramore, rwylm by taylors swift, and lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. need to add all those to the playlist asap !! also feel free to chat with me in the asks abt this series (and anything tbh) pls!! and not proof-read pls ignore mistakes!!

series masterlist | series playlist

Counting cobblestones was your best distraction from Robin’s loud groans and the noises her dress made as she stretched it further and further. The sun streamed through the both of you, causing you to squeeze your eyes lightly. 

“Would you let my poor dress go?” You warned without turning to her, hand having a harsh grip on the gin bottle you were afraid of dropping. 

“I can’t, it’s itching!” She groaned, harshly scratching her chest. 

“Why’d you even ask to borrow a dress if you hated wearing them so much?” You threw her a look.

"I wanted to look presentable! But now, I think I’d rather wear a trash bag than ever be this uncomfortable again,” she said through gritted teeth, following you to the doorstep. 

You giggled, “But you know what?” you turned to her with a smile, “You look super pretty in that dress, Robs,” you winked teasingly, earning a groan from her as your hand shakily pressed onto the red doorbell, careful not to drop the bottle that was in your grip. 

A few rumbles were overheard before Steve swiftly opened the door, leaning against the doorframe as he gave the two of you a look, both of you in your sundress, while you held the bottle in your hand like a prized possession and Robin was still scratching her neck. “About damn time, I was starting to think you guys forgot where I lived!” He said teasingly, causing you to narrow your gaze. 

“Whatever happened to hello? Hi? I missed you, my bestest friend, Pinky!” You exaggerated dramatically, “Oh and you totally look so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room,” you spat snarkily, perfectly imitating a bitchy Steve. 

“You know about that?” Steve asked, and you were quick to nod. “Oh, thank fucking god! I did not want to be the one to tell you,” he sighed a breath of relief, a gesture you met with a roll of your eyes.

Steve quickly changed his tone to flattery. “Have I told you how much I missed you, sweetheart?” he said with exaggerated sweetness, “Oh, and you look so pretty!” He continued with an amplified smile, “so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room.” He hummed, covering his mouth sideways, so childlike that it had you giggling. 

Amid the banter, Robin, still visibly uncomfortable, impatiently broke in. “Okay, doofus, are you gonna let us in?” She groaned and brushed past the two of you, making her way to the familiar kitchen.

“Hello to you too, Rob!” Steve responded with a chuckle, before closing the door and guiding you both to the cozy kitchen.

Once inside, Steve couldn't help but ask, “So, what have you got there, P?” His eyes locked on the gin bottle in your hand.

With an excited gleam in your eye, you presented it proudly. “A party gift,” you said with a grin, shaking it gently in front of Steve's face before he took it from you.

"For breakfast?" Steve asked with a huff and a raised eyebrow. 

“We’re going to make breakfast martinis!” Robin chimed in excitedly, her eyes lighting up as she grabbed two elegant cocktail glasses she'd found in Steve's well-stocked kitchen. The crystal-clear glasses made a chiming sound when she set them down harshly.

“You guys have a problem,” he joked, leaning against the kitchen counter while he eyed the way you hurriedly searched for something in his fridge.

“Says the guy who used to shotgun five beers like it was nothing,” you scoffed behind the fridge door. A shushed ‘Yes!’ escaped from your lips when you acquired lemons and a bottle of orange juice from the fridge's depths. 

“And that is not how you make a breakfast martini,” he playfully groaned, stealing your ingredients away from you. Your pout was met with a playful eye roll.

“Oh-kay, fancy pants,” Robin mocked, making you snort with her easy banter.

Steve couldn't help but ask, genuine concern etching his brow, “You sure you’re okay?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, but they both eyed your expressions curiously, almost as if you were a ticking time bomb.

“Oh, c'mon, you two!” You brushed it off, trying to shift the focus.

“We’re just worried about you is all,” Robin added, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. Her fingertips were warm against your skin, concern washed over her face.

“It’s perfectly normal to not be okay, you know,” Steve reassured you, his voice gentle. “I mean, it must be hard coming back here after everything-”

“Well, I’m fine, Steve,” you replied a bit more sharply than you intended, guilt settling in your stomach quickly. Steve's comforting stance somehow allowed your emotions to spill out more freely.

“It’s-it’s just such a fucking gut punch that he brought her here, you know?” The frustration in your voice was palpable, tone heavy with pain.

“I know, I know,” Steve empathized, both of them stood by your side, hands resting on both of your shoulders, comedically protective. 

“Want me to beat him up?” Steve said with a serious gaze, hands forming into fists as he playfully punched the air. You and Robin erupted in giggles, as Robin elbowed him playfully, “I think she needs someone better at fights to protect her, you know?” She narrowed her gaze.

“Ow!” Steve dramatically gasped, “Rude!” He pouted. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor, but I’ll be fine." You snatched the gin bottle, moving on to the task at hand – preparing the breakfast martinis as you poured the clear liquid into the glass.

“I’m more worried about your health there,” he hummed, pointing toward the generous amount of gin you poured into your glass. 

“Jesus, when did you become such a priss, King Steve?” Robin mocked further before he gave the two of you a look. 

“I don’t like you two together,” he huffed, hand gesturing between the two of you dramatically, “so mean,” he said, tone exaggerated, and slumped playfully, pretending to be defeated.

“Aww, come on, Stevie,” you pouted, “I missed ya,” with a hum, you gave him a quick, affectionate squeeze in a tight hug. Steve responded with a theatrical cough causing you to roll your eyes.

“What have you been up to? I listened to Robin’s work crush, the whole fucking way…” You enunciated dramatically, drawing a teasing reaction from Robin, who exclaimed, “Hey!” in response.

“Can you believe her name is Lily? Lily… that’s so pretty, she’s so pretty… Like a flower. I mean her hair is so soft, I-I mean it seems soft I never like touched it or anything, that would be creepy-” You mimicked Robin and her fast-talking, and she stuck her tongue at you childishly. 

“Is doofusness contagious? I feel like you’ve been standing too close to Steve.” She mocked with a smirk, taking a jab at both of you, but more so Steve as she leaned against the counter cooly. 

“You’re quick with the comebacks today, Rob, jeez!” You praised, turning back to Steve who was disregarding the two of you with a shake of his head.  

Robin winked at you, before snatching the bottle from Steve’s hand to make herself a drink. “So… Stevie, what about you?” You hummed, leaning in with a curious expression.

“How’s work?”

A proud smile spread across Steve's face as he said, “I got a promotion.”

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, genuine excitement dancing in your eyes. “Steve, that’s amazing!” His frown had your brows furrowed, “why are you not excited?” You pouted.

“You remember Adam?” He huffed, “the guy from accounting?” Your brows quirked up in intrigue, Steve was quick to nod. 

“He turned out to be a douche,” with a scoff, he leaned further on the courter, his muscles flexing with irritation. “What?” You asked with a frown, “but you said it was getting serious?” 

“Yeah, I guess I was wrong, I dunno,” He shrugged, wanting to seem nonchalant but it was obvious he was hurt. 

Your face fell quickly, “well, what about that other girl you met in the grocery store?” You asked hopefully, nudging him slightly. 

“Didn’t even call me back,” Steve huffed, and you couldn't help but pout at his apparent string of bad luck.

“Stevie…”

“I dunno what’s wrong with me,” Steve admitted, his voice laced with self-doubt.

Your heart ached at his insecurity, and you couldn't help but reassure him. “What? Nothing is wrong with you! Are you kidding?”

“These people sound like the problem to me!” You exclaimed, “I mean look at you! A nice boy with a good job, and that hair? So soft!” you giggled, hand ruffling with his perfectly made hair, which he would usually yell at you for, but now he just looked at you with the most puppy dog eyes. “Harrington, you’re the whole goddamn package.” 

“You mean that?” He sounded so insecure, and innocent, that your stomach was quick to drop, knowing that Steve doubted himself like this. 

“Of course!” you reassured with a pat on his back, “fuck both of them! I’ll get you something to drink.” You winked.

“Please let me make it,” Steve replied with a hint of mischief, narrowing his gaze playfully. “In fact, I’ll make both of you a proper drink,” he emphasized.

“Fine, pretty boy.”

“Rob,” he called out to her with a tilt of his head  “Orange liquor, please?”

Robin looked at him with a puzzled look, “am I supposed to know where that is?” 

A tad exasperated, Steve pointed to a spot on the counter. “Right there on the counter, Rob. Jesus, you never let me look cool.”

“Don’t worry pretty boy, you don’t need her to make you look cool.” You winked teasingly, hand gently placed on Steve’s shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze, causing Robin to snort behind you as you elbowed harshly to shush her. 

Of fucking course, that’s when they decided to come into the kitchen, you could hear Chrissy’s annoying giggles before you saw her, and Eddie’s face dropped the second he saw the two of you. And all you could focus on was how close they were standing next to each other, Chrissy’s shoulder brushing against his.

You felt sick again. 

Eddie cleared his throat, the laughter in the room dying with it. His sour face grew hot because he heard your compliments to Steve, saw the smiles you gave him, and your hand on his arm. 

Insecure thoughts were quick to race through his mind, why was your hand on his arm? And pretty boy? You used to call him that. And him only.

His thoughts should have driven him closer to Chrissy, to make you more jealous, to have that satisfaction, but all it did was leave a bitter taste in his mouth, another lump he couldn’t swallow, and he stepped a bit back away from her unintentionally. 

“Hi!” Chrissy beamed, and your eyes squinted with her voice, the urge to roll your eyes, and confront her right now was strong. 

None of you answered her, it was awkward, pretty fucking awkward that even Robin’s cheshire cat smile didn’t save the room, Eddie speaking up did. 

“You- uh got any water, Harrington?” It was supposed to be a joke, but the way it rolled out of his jealous lips made him sound bitter as if he was pissed at him. 

Steve, taken aback by Eddie's sudden change in attitude, raised an eyebrow and responded, “Yeah?” He pointed toward the refrigerator, offering some bottled water.

Annoyance seeped through you as they stood there, prickling like a knife through your skin, your gaze narrowed as you tried to avoid looking at them, but it was awkward, so fucking awkward. 

Eddie was quick to take a sip from the bottle, the entire room filled with silence as his gaze never faltered on you, “you got any notes for me?” Eddie said cooly, leaning onto the fridge, Chrissy by his side. 

It was aimed at you, and you totally would’ve missed it if every eye in the room didn’t turn to you. You furrowed your brows in confusion, trying to deflect the attention. "Huh?"

Eddie’s demeanor changed at your confusion, almost like his confidence wore off the second he realized you might not have read it. “The note, you said you’d review it?” His voice held emotion, you could hear it, a pang of insecurity along with betrayal, but you didn’t want to talk about this, and you didn’t want to talk about it in front of her.

“No.” You lied through your teeth, swallowing the lump in your throat when you finally looked at him, like really, really looked at him. 

He looked tired, with dark circles surrounding his eyes, hair even messier than usual, his lips cracked, and you could smell the nicotine off of him, even though he was halfway across the room. 

And there was a slight shift in the way he held himself when you told him you didn’t read it, his tongue rolling inside of his cheek in a sour manner before he straightened up. “Typical,” he spat, he didn’t mean to, it was more supposed to be his inner voice, but he couldn’t help himself.  He couldn’t help the way he felt insecure when he saw you standing next to Steve, and he couldn’t help but show how much you not reading the note shattered him.

“Excuse me?” You scoffed, the air in the room getting tense, Steve and Robin pretending to be distracted while continuing to make a drink, Robin’s clumsy clatters serving as a noisy backdrop. 

“What does that mean?” You asked calmly, maybe it wasn’t as calm as you intended it to be, but he really had the nerve to come for you when he didn’t even realize he was the one who was in the wrong. 

“It means that I wouldn’t have expected anything more from you,” he spat out like he was your enemy, and it hurt, it fucking hurt that he saw you as someone that careless as if you didn’t read the entire note the whole night, as if you didn’t fall asleep to Aurora playing in the background. As if he knew anything. 

Your anger flared, and you couldn’t help yourself, “What the actual fuck is your problem?” Your voice raised, and you straightened yourself, taking a step closer to them as both Robin and Steve’s heads snapped toward your direction, wanting to interrupt, but Chrissy got to it first. 

“Okay, I don’t think we should-” Her screeching voice grated your ears.

With that, your attention turned to her, head cocking in a sharp gesture of anger, “stay out of it,” you warned, both Steve and Robin watched you in full force, almost looking like they wanted to cheer you on. 

Chrissy turned to Eddie as if she was asking for him to say something back to you, but Eddie’s gaze remained on you, unable to process anything else. 

She took a step closer, her head slightly tilted to the side, “Oh, come on, take a chill pill, Pinky,” she gave you a smile, it wasn’t warming, it wasn’t genuine, you could see right through her. This was her catty smile. 

And it almost triggered something in you—the way her head tilted, her hand on her hips, the ‘take a chill pill’ line, it was something you recognized all too well. 

The same phrase, that same annoying octave, and the same hand on her hips when she first “accidentally” started the rumor that you had kissed Eddie—granted, it wasn’t a rumor. It was true, you had kissed Eddie while you and Billy were on a break, but you told her that in confidence, and she broke your trust. Yet, like an idiot, you believed her when she said it was an accident, and that someone must have overheard the two of you talking.

Once Billy found out about the rumors, he barely let you breathe, not only did the fights get more amped up and violent, but he also isolated you from your friends, and mostly Eddie. You didn’t put the pieces together that Chrissy caused the rumor until much later.

Then, at Steve’s party, the same smile, and that same phrase, like you hadn’t caught her with Billy in the bathroom minutes ago. 

And now, she was doing it again, you assumed it was on purpose, or at least it all felt like it was on purpose. And it boggled your mind how quickly she made Eddie believe she was a nice person. Because she wasn’t, and even if she was, your friendship was beyond salvageable now. 

You decided to take a step closer to her, Steve and Robin both jumping on their feet, afraid of what might happen. But you had no intention of doing anything, or even saying anything to her. 

Because you had decided your mind. 

If Chrissy wanted to play that game, then so fucking be it. 

When the bell rang once again, Steve was quick to rise, “Must be Nancy and Jonathan!” he announced, voice almost cracking from the tension in the room. He was quick to scurry off, inviting the main couple inside. You turned to Robin swiftly, almost ruining her balance with the way you snatched the drink from her hand, you took a big sip, downing the contents in one go. Then, without acknowledging either of them, you headed inside, leaving behind the simmering tension in the kitchen. 

-

You were all seated, Nancy and Jonathan side by side, next to them Steve and Robin, and on their right, were the rest of the band, followed by Chrissy, Eddie, and you. 

The table itself looked perfect, you could see that Steve went all out for it, adorning the table with an array of breakfast foods. Plates piled high with pastries, fruit, muffins, and of course, Steve’s special pancakes. He never stopped raving about them, and the second he sat down, he grabbed a generous amount of it to his plate. A pot of steaming coffee sat right by the end of the table, along with your gin bottle sitting right next to it, which was what you had been preferring, because everything was fucking awkward.

You were sipping on your drink like it was your lifeline, Steve and Robin watched you with a concerned gaze, whispering back and forth. 

Jeff, Gareth, and the new drummer you hadn’t met before, Nathan were laughing obnoxiously, and you almost felt like it was all aimed at you.

Maybe you were paranoid, but you assumed they wouldn’t be keen on you, knowing that after L.A. all they saw was a mess of Eddie who wrote nothing but sad songs, which all the lyrics seemed to point in your direction.

“How is pre-wedding life going for the love birds?” Eddie hummed seemingly more content than before.

Jonathan and Nancy both let out an exasperated sigh, giggling like kids after they realized how in sync they were, “pretty fuckin’ tiring,” Jonathan replied, taking a mouthful bite from the pastry he had on his plate.

“You guys are still on for tonight, right? I promised the guy at Hideout at least two songs from Corroded Coffin,” he emphasized the band's name mockingly. 

“‘Course, dude, whatever you need,” Eddie gave him a small smile, a wink thrown in for good measure.

Unintentionally, Eddie shifted his gaze towards you, observing the way you seemed to shrink into your seat, fingers nervously tracing the rim of your drink. Chrissy's eyes followed him, her gaze narrowing as she caught onto the subtle shift in his attention. He leaned closer to you, so close that his hand almost brushed against yours that sat on the table.

Eddie opened his pursed lips, about to utter something, but Chrissy couldn’t let that happen.

“This feels weird,” She hummed, “the last time we were all here, this table was for beer pong.” She giggled, and slightly nudged Eddie.

Eddie gave her a tight-lipped smile before his attention was quick to turn back to you, but you ignored his burning gaze.

“Steve that was a sick party,” She exclaimed excitedly, trying to gather Steve’s attention who was busy trying to locate the syrup for his awaiting pancakes. 

Your head almost popped up simultaneously at the mention… the same party. The same fucking party she tried to kiss Billy. The same fucking party she humiliated you with her words. The same party she made fun of…

“Huh?” He asked mindlessly, almost knocking over Robin’s drink with how fast he was looking for the syrup, completely ignoring Chrissy. “Jesus Christ!” He exclaimed, earning furrowed brows from Robin, who just shook her head at him. 

“I forgot the syrup!” He groaned, getting up from his seat. “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Robin mocked, as Steve threw her a glare before making a hasty retreat to the kitchen with a string of curses leaving his lips, while the rest of the table tried to soak in the awkwardness.

Gareth was quick to chime in though, “oh, yeah!” he quipped, remembering the party. “You went to that party?” Jeff asked with his brows pinched together in confusion. 

“Yeah, Eddie was selling so he brought me along,” he explained, grabbing Eddie by the shoulder with a chuckle. 

“Oh god, that was the same party you beat Billy to a fuckin’ pulp, dude!” His chuckle grew louder, hand on his stomach.

You and Eddie tensed at the mention of it, while you enjoyed Billy finally not being able to get away with his violence, none of that memory was amusing to you in the slightest. And nor was it to Eddie. 

Gareth turned to Chrissy when his laughter finally died off, “Hey, didn’t we play beer pong together?” 

Chrissy's face lit up with a nostalgic giggle, “oh my god, we totally did!” She exclaimed excitedly, but your gaze remained on your empty plate, unable to contain the rage bubbling inside of you. 

"It was so funny," she began, "Gareth kept missing it, but..."

Your patience reached its limit, and you couldn't help but interject. "When was that?" Your voice tinged with an edge, cut through the chatter at the table.

Multiple heads were quick to turn to you, and Chrissy probably had no clue what you were up to.  Maybe this was a low blow, maybe you shouldn’t tell in front of everyone.

“We were pretty drunk, I don’t remember-” She said meekly, but you interrupted, again.

“I was at that party too, but I must have missed that!” You continued, your words sharp and calculated. And feigning a faux sense of intrigue. Maybe it was cruel, but this was the perfect setup, and Chrissy was falling right into your trap. 

Before she could respond, you pressed on, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “oooh! Was that before or after you tried to hook up with my ex-boyfriend?” Your words hung heavy in the air, the whole table quick to fall silent. 

Almost all eyes except Chrissy turned to you, Robin almost choked on the strong drink Steve made for her. Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan all stopped their inner chatter, while Jonathan and Nancy’s eyes widened in unison.

As the tension continued to mount, Jonathan quickly turned to Nancy, leaning towards her, “Should I do something-” He whispered to Nancy, who didn’t dare to move, watching everything unravel before her. 

“Don’t you dare,” she warned, “she deserves this confrontation. And, I am tired of Eddie pestering us about this; he deserves to know.” Nancy shrugged, Jonathan reluctantly raised his hands in agreement, almost like he was surrendering to her reasonings. 

Chrissy stood there, her voice caught in her throat, mouth agape, unable to utter a coherent response. She was frozen, eyes wide with shock, while her fingers nervously fumbled with the napkin on the table, struggling to find the words to defend herself.

You reacted with a bitter, mocking disbelief, shaking your head slowly. “Shit, or was it after you blamed me for what Billy did to me? You know, making fun of my bruises and stuff?”

“What?” Eddie’s face scrunched in disgust, his eyes flickering to Chrissy, who seemed to shrink under the weight of what she did. Jonathan and Nancy watched with their mouth almost hanging open. Robin had a smug smile on her face, she bit her lip in excitement while watching everything unfold. It was like all of them had been waiting for this confrontation. 

Poor Jeff, Gareth, and Nathan just watched with a confused look, not knowing anything about the deep history between the three of you. 

Chrissy stammered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment, but once again you didn’t let her. “No, no, wait!” You were relentless, sarcasm cutting through your tone as you playfully hit your forehead in a mocking gesture. “I think it was after you made fun of my parents leaving me, what did you say they were?” You mocked a pensive expression, a dangerous glint in your eyes, “Junkies?” Your gaze narrowed, Chrissy’s stammering continued, and she turned to Eddie desperately, while her vision was getting blurry. 

The room had grown oppressively tense, no one dared to speak, Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy all wore disgusted faces, along with the surprise of you laying everything out on the table, literally. Jeff and Gareth silently oofed, even though they didn’t know anything, they knew that what Chrissy did was fucked up. 

Eddie struggled to process it, your words, the realization that Chrissy had done something worse other than trying to hook up with Billy was hard to sink into his skin.  “What the fuck are you talking about?” He repeated, his entire world almost shattering dramatically.

“Oh, didn’t your sweet, sweet Chrissy mention all that?” You weren’t holding back, every bitterness, every ugliness, you were ready to spit it all at him and Chrissy.  

And you wished it would give you satisfaction, you wished it would make you feel better.

But it didn’t. None of it felt good, none of it filled the void inside of you. None of it helped you get over the betrayal that unfolded right between your eyes. 

None of it helped you get over the cruel look Chrissy gave you when she made fun of your traumas, none of it helped you get over the fact that Eddie told you that you ruined his life, and none of it helped the way your lip trembled when you saw the two of them kiss. 

“Okay, I’ve got the syrup!” Steve chimed in, unaware of everything that had just transpired in the room, his brows furrowed when he noticed the tension, every eye on the table turned to him, except for you, Chrissy, and Eddie. 

Chrissy's desperate gaze fixed on Eddie, pleading for some form of understanding or forgiveness, but his gaze remained unwaveringly locked on you, filled with guilt. Your own eyes were cast downward, remaining on your lap, while you tried hard to fight back the tears. 

Because no matter what, Chrissy betrayed your trust, you trusted her enough to tell her what Billy did to you, and instead of getting help, she tried to kiss him, or actually did kiss him, you never found out the truth—both of them told you a different version of the story. 

She made fun of your parents leaving you. She blamed you for the things Billy did. Like it meant nothing to her. Like you meant nothing to her. 

“Did I just interrupt something-” Steve was quickly hushed by Robin, who pulled him to his seat quickly. “Pinky is confronting Chrissy!” 

“What? Now?” He whisper-yelled, putting down the syrup jar on the table, eyeing the tension between the three of you. Robin nodded, “Eddie’s trying to process all of it, and Chrissy looks like she’s about to burst into tears,” she added. 

“He didn’t know?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “Nuh-uh, don’t you remember how P made us all promise not to tell anyone? You know how she is with her personal stuff,” the two of them whispered back and forth, earning a glare from Nancy that shut both of them up. 

Eddie’s expressions were unreadable, mixed with every possible emotion as he drew a deep breath in a feeble attempt to make sense of everything. “W-what exactly happened?” With uncertainty in his eyes, he faced you, he wanted to know everything. But you didn’t dare to look at him, crossing your arms defensively against your chest—you were in no way ready to tell him anything. 

“I-I wanted to apologize to you, and I wanted to..” Chrissy’s voice trembled, she seemed apologetic, eyes glistening with guilt, but it truly meant nothing to you.

“Shit, you really don’t fucking get it, do you?” You couldn’t help but click your tongue in annoyance, hand on your forehead in disbelief. “This isn’t about your stupid apology.” 

“You knew them, Chrissy,” you continued, your voice quivering with raw emotion, “you were there with me when they left, you fucking comforted me when I cried…” All of it felt too raw for you, your chest tightening the more you remembered it all, “and then you used it as a punch line for a stupid joke, to hurt me.” 

You took a deep breath in an attempt to continue, your heart tightening the more you spoke. “You knew what Billy did to me, you saw the bruises, and you acted like none of that mattered when you kissed him!” 

“I d-didn’t—it was a misunderstanding!” She tried to defend herself, but you didn’t care. 

You were quick to get up from your seat, feeling suffocated. “God, i-it really hurt, it did.” you confessed, your voice trembling as you blinked away the tears. “But it doesn’t anymore because you were dead to me the second you uttered those words.” Your lips trembled.

“And you,” with a tone filled with bitterness, you finally turned to Eddie, really looking at him for the first time. His eyes were filled with regret, brows scrunched up together with guilt. Your hand pointed toward him accusingly, “fucking date her for all I care, you two deserve each other.” 

You stormed off to the backyard quickly, not being able to hold back the tears anymore. Eddie got up the second you did, pleading for your name. The room fell silent again, and just as he was about to chase you, Steve was quick to rise to his feet, intervening with a grab of Eddie’s arm. 

“Give her some time,” Steve’s harsh hold on Eddie’s arm had everyone eyeing them.

“Excuse me?” Eddie retorted, his gaze dangerously fiery. 

“She needs some time, Eddie.” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie warned, gaze dropping to the hold that Steve had on him, his anger simmering just below the surface.

“Man, I’m trying to be helpful right now, you’re the last person she wants to fucking see,” Steve spat, gaze narrowing as he looked at him with disgust. 

That was the breaking point for Eddie, he took a step closer, his anger ready to spill over to Steve, which wasn’t fair, but it had been building up the second he saw how close the two of you were. The smiles you threw at him. The compliments. It was stupid and so unlike him, but with everything, he couldn’t afford to lose you, not again.

And it looked like he just did. 

“That’s not any of your fuckin’ business, Harrington-”

Before the situation could escalate further, Jonathan intervened, stepping between the two of them. “Alright, alright!” he gently defused the tension. “Steve, Rob, go see if she’s okay,” He demanded, the two of them looking at him dumbfoundedly, “Go!” he exclaimed, and Robin was quick to rise from her seat, dragging Steve away from Eddie who was still throwing daggers with his looks toward Steve.

“And Eddie, I need to talk to you for a second.” Jonathan caught Eddie’s attention and tugged at his jacket to the side while Nancy quickly excused herself from the awkward table before the three of them huddled in the corner. 

Eddie was quick to shake off the hold Jonathan had on him, his anger still uncontained. “What?” His voice was raised. 

“You need to calm the fuck down,” Jonathan warned. 

“Why didn’t you guys-” He took a deep breath. “How could you guys not fuckin’ tell me?” His voice was desperate. 

“She told us not to!” Nancy added. “God, I’m such a fuckin’ idiot.” He exasperated.

Jonathan agreed with a nod, “That, you are.” Earning a glare from Eddie, he continued, “I’m sorry dude, but it’s true, you shouldn’t have paraded her around in front of Pinky.” 

“How was I supposed to know?!?”

“You weren’t,” Nancy sighed, “but you knew what happened with Billy, and that should’ve been enough, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head to disagree, his disheveled hair hung over his forehead, barely covering his pained eyes. “If I knew, if I fucking knew for a second that s-she made fun of, shit-” His voice cracked, struggling to find the right words. The vivid recollections of your pain etched lines of hurt across his face. “God, I saw how much her parents leaving crushed her, Nance. I was there, I comforted her.” Nancy could sense the hurt in his voice. 

“Every time she came over to a Munson dinner, every time Wayne told her she was family, every time Wayne did somethin’ for her... I-I could just see how much she appreciated it. Wayne, and me…” 

His voice continued to tremble, and tears welled up in his eyes. “And I saw those goddamn bruises that fucking asshole left, s-she was shaking, Jon- I-I knew how hard it was for her, if I…”  He took a shuddering breath, voice still shaky, and gaze glistening with unshed tears.

His hands moved in agitation, desperate to defend himself and express his guilt. “If I… If I knew for one goddamn second that she made fun of that, I w-would’ve never!” He punctuated his words desperately, hands rubbing against his face in disbelief.

“I know, I know,” Nancy reassured with a soothing voice, both she and Jonathan reached out to rub his back comfortingly. “I think she’s just upset right now, Ed.” Jonathan spoke up.

“I mean can you really blame her? I know you didn’t know anything, but the moment she came back to the town, the first thing she saw was you and Chrissy kissing… it was probably a tough pill for her to swallow.” Nancy mumbled.

Jonathan was quick to add with a soft-spoken plea, “Give her some time, and then you can apologize, okay?” He nodded, trying to take all of the information he acquired in the last five minutes

“I also think you have someone else you need to talk to,” Jonathan whispered, gaze pointing toward Chrissy who had been itching to speak to him, her gaze repeatedly flickering in their direction.

And once Chrissy realized Eddie looking back at her, she was quick to get up from her seat, shoulders slumped as she approached him. She eyed the way Nancy and Jonathan gave Eddie a slight smile and a nudge on his shoulder before they left. 

Her eyes were glossy, face red. “C-can I talk to you?” She stammered.

“Y-yeah,” he conceded, a hint of uncertainty in his voice, not able to help himself when his head turned toward the sliding door, wanting to get a glimpse of you but blocked by the figure of Steve.

“I-I should’ve told you what I did.” Chrissy sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat as she took a deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry. I just…” She recollected her thoughts, “you were like the only one who didn’t know and it just… It felt nice to hang out with someone who didn’t shun me out.”

“Steve, Nancy, Jonathan… even Robin, the second they learned what I said, they didn’t even look me in the face!” Her voice cracked.

“And I know I probably deserved that but that was so long ago and I…” Her gaze fell toward the floor, she felt embarrassed, she should’ve never done that to you, and she did have her reasons, but she also knew none of them would ever justify what she said. 

“I was just miserable and bitter and P-pinky didn’t deserve any of that. I know that but…” Her head snapped up, her tearful eyes locking with Eddie’s, “I really had fun with you these past couple of days and…”

Eddie was quick to interrupt her, shaking his head, “Chrissy…” He sighed, fingers rubbing his temples in an attempt to comfort himself, it was too much, everything was too much.

And he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to talk to her, he didn’t want some pep talk from Jonathan and Nancy, he only wanted you.

He wanted to tell you how sorry he was, and how much of an idiot he was. Even though he didn’t know anything. But he should’ve known better. He should have.

And he felt the guilt gnawing at him, consuming him from the inside.

“I really felt like we had something-” Eddie was quick to dismiss her.

“Chrissy, I’m sorry I should have never done this, I-I’m such a fucking coward.”

“W-what?” Chrissy asked, her voice breaking again, tears brimming in her eyes. “I should’ve known,” she sighed, shutting her eyes briefly to avoid the tears.

Eddie let out a confused hum. “I-I mean I kind of did, I saw the way you looked at her, the way your eyes lit up unintentionally whenever someone mentioned her. The smile you had when she talked to you… You were never ever like that with me, not even for a second.”

It took Eddie a few seconds to process that, he knew he should’ve never done anything with Chrissy, he never should’ve tried to defend her to you, he should’ve listened to you. He was an idiot. 

Chrissy was right. It was you. It had always been you. 

“I didn’t- I didn’t fuckin’ mean to but I think like back in my mind, I did all of this to make myself feel better because I knew she might be coming back and I just wanted to make myself feel like I got over her. I-I know that’s incredibly shitty and I’m sorry-” 

“So you just used me?” She spat, feeling like a pawn in a game she did not want to be a part of.

“N-no! That’s not what I tried to do! I just… I just, I’m sorry that it came off that way… I thought I could you know… do this,” he mumbled, pointing toward the space between them.

“I can’t and I never should have tried.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” He could see Chrissy’s hurt turn quickly to anger, and maybe five minutes ago, when he didn’t know what she did to you, he would’ve apologized for being a dick, and for doing something as stupid as this. But he couldn’t be apologetic to her, not anymore.

“I-it means it’s always been her, and it’s always going to be her, Chrissy,” Eddie admitted, something that he should’ve realized a long time ago, and Chrissy wanted to laugh at that.

Of course, it was going to be you, it was always you. 

Billy, and now Eddie. No matter what she did, she could never compete with you. You didn’t even have to do anything and they would devote their whole fucking life to you. 

And it pissed her off, made her bitter. Which wasn’t fair, which didn’t make what she ever did or said okay. But her mind justified it. Fueled her to say those things to you. 

Eddie, struggling to process Chrissy's words, stammered in disbelief, “I can’t even look at you after what she told me. How could you be so cruel?” The way he viewed Chrissy changed in a matter of seconds, disgust overtaking his senses. 

But Chrissy found that amusing. She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head. “Me?” She pointed an accusatory finger at him, “You just admitted that you basically used me. Jesus Christ, you’re an asshole.”

“And I’m really sorry about that,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity, “that isn’t what I intended to-“

Chrissy, still seething with anger and disappointment, didn't give him a chance to finish. “Save it.” She rolled her eyes, hand defensively pointing toward him.

Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan suddenly appeared, intruding awkwardly into the already strained atmosphere between the two of them. Gareth was the first to speak up, attempting to break the tension. He cleared his throat and said, “Uhhh- hey man, we’re gonna take off.”

“You comin’?” Jeff inquired, standing beside Gareth.

 “Uhhh, no? I need to talk to her.” Eddie replied firmly.

“Seriously? You’re still running after her?” Gareth bit back, Jeff tried to elbow him to shut him up but it was no use.

“I’ll see you guys tonight.” He said through gritted teeth, not in the mood to deal with Gareth’s hatred for you.

“Chrissy, you comin’?” Gareth was quick to turn to her, and she nodded quickly, before throwing a harsh look at Eddie.

“Jerk,” she mumbled under her breath, leaving off with them.

“I did deserve that.” Eddie sighed, mumbling to himself before he finally decided to meet all of you in the backyard.

-

You leaned back on your seat, eyes still glossy but you looked happier, a giggle leaving your lips at something Steve said. 

And it hurt Eddie to see that, it hurt because your teary eyes were all because of him, and you were giggling only because of Steve.

It wasn’t like this before, he was the one who always made you happy, he never made you cry, he never uttered horrible words to you like he did yesterday. 

Was it all doomed? 

Did the chance for the two of you pass by and both of you were too much of an idiot to realize it? Did he manage to fuck everything up with just barely two days? 

Your laughter died down the second your gaze met his, breath getting hitched in your throat. He looked guilty, those shaggy bangs falling messily on his forehead, hand stuffed into the back of his black jeans.  Walking over to you with such shyness that your gaze softened, you didn’t want to be like this with him. It was never like this before. 

But it hurt so much that you could feel your chest swell with the pain. His words, Chrissy… you couldn’t pretend like none of it happened anymore. 

“Can we talk?” 

“Dude, I just told you-” Steve was quick to interject, and it brought warmth in your stomach, the feeling nicely seeping into your skin, knowing that your friends truly cared about you, and how much they would do to protect you. 

They had done it with Chrissy, you never asked them to do anything, but the second you told any of them what happened, they didn’t even throw her a second glance when they ran into her ever again in this damned town. 

And it meant so much, knowing that there were people you could count on, a sense of protectiveness and security that your parents never provided for you. But you liked that, you liked having them, an untraditional way of family, but your family regardless. 

“Harrington, will you fuckin’-”

You interrupted both of their stupid dick-measuring competition with a sigh, “It’s okay, Steve,” you murmured, throwing him a smile before squeezing his arm gently. “We do need to talk,” you nodded off toward Eddie, dragging him off to the other side gently, away from all of them.

“Look, fuck- I’m so sorry, okay?” He started, his voice apologetic.

“Eddie, please-”

“No, no, let me talk, please,” he breathed out, desperate, his gaze mirroring yours, fingers brushing on your arms, gentle, pleading. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a fucking idiot, I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the whole world.”

“Y-you never ruined my life, okay? You could never, even if you tried your hardest. Even if you did the worst possible thing to me. I could never see you like that. I could never see the worst of you.”

“I-I shouldn’t have done what I did, I shouldn’t have brought her everywhere, and I shouldn’t have tried to defend her to you.”

“E-eddie, stop” you gulped, interrupting him, “You-you’re confusing the fuck out of me… You tell me I ruined your life, and then I read those stupid notes-”

“You read them?” Eddie’s brows raised in surprise, an idiotic grin curling on his lips.

“Of course I did.” You muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“But you said-” 

“I wanted to piss you off,” you admitted with a meek voice. 

“And what did you think?” He asked, hopeful, still feeling nervous with the way you were so calm, he knew nothing good was gonna come out of this. 

“That I-I can’t do this.” 

“I mean, the song is really great…” You muttered, and you wanted to mention the other note, how much it crushed you and how much you wished it could change anything, but you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t handle seeing him, you couldn’t handle anything about Eddie. You needed some time apart. 

“And I’m glad you realized you fucked up but I… I’m just so tired,” you sighed, licking your lips to get some sort of encouragement to say the things that you were about to say. 

“I-I can’t do this back and forth with you anymore,” you huffed. 

“I mean just look at us! I’ve been here for almost two days and look how many times we fought and then pretended like nothing happened! T-this isn’t how we used to be,” you bit on your lip, tasting the bitter taste of metallic blood, just so the tears wouldn’t spill. 

“I know…” he muttered, “but why didn’t you just tell me? Then… and even now?”

“I-I was embarrassed,” you muttered shyly. His brows scrunched, embarrassed? why would you be embarrassed for the shitty things she did?

“Why would you be embarrassed?” He asked.

“Because it was true, Eddie,” you blinked away the tears, settling with that uncomfortable feeling.

“What are you talking about, what she did was fuckin’ cruel, and if I knew-”

“N-no, it was true.” You huffed. “Deadbeat parents and an abusive ex-boyfriend… like how cliche could I fucking get?” You wanted to laugh bitterly.

“I-I’m a mess and she’s right… And so were you! It was such a gut punch when you said it to me, but you were right.” Your lip was wobbling, eyes squinted. “I-I ruined your life and-”

“No, don’t fucking say that-”

“But it is true!” You exclaimed with a sad expression, “I ruined your life and I-I should’ve never tried to re-enter it, and I should’ve left you alone.”

“I-I’m sorry, for everything, for LA, I could say that as many times as you need me to…” you sighed. “but I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“W-what?” He stuttered, still struggling to process your words.

“I told you Eddie, I don’t want to do this. As we said, we don’t have to talk to each other this weekend, and afterward, I’ll be gone.” 

“You won’t ever hear from me or see me again.” 

“But that is not what I want!” Eddie exclaimed, desperate, he didn’t want to lose you, and he was going to. There was nothing he could do to stop it. 

He already lost you once, and maybe he could blame you for that, but this one. It was all him. 

He tried to reach for your arm, to touch you again, to feel the warmth he felt a night ago like everything would be just as it was five years ago. But you were quick to take a step back away from him. 

“But it’s what I want.” You tried to speak calmly, your cracking voice fast to fail you. 

“W-what about the album cover?” 

With a touch of bitterness in your tone, you retorted, “I’m sure you can find someone much better than me.”

“C’mon, Pinky, you can’t be serious, that’s like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing-”

“I’d rather be stuck at the record store for the rest of my life,” you muttered bitterly, words cutting through him. You could see how much they were hurting him, but there was no other way, you had to protect your own feelings. 

Staying away from Eddie was the only thing you could do to stop hurting yourself and everyone else. You had already caused enough problems for everyone in the room. 

Eddie's voice turned somber as he uttered, “So, this is it?” A sense of defeat washed over him.

“We’ve been doing it for the past five years, why should it change now?”

Because I want you. 

Because I haven’t been able to do that for the past five years either. 

Because I could never stay away from you. 

Because it has always been you, from the moment we met. 

Because I love you. Always have, always will.

Was what he should’ve said, some grand speech, something to sweep you off your feet, something to change your mind. Anything. So he wouldn’t lose you again, so you could finally realize how much he cared about you, how much he would always care about you.

But nothing came out of his trembling lips, not even a sound.

He stood there, feeling as if time froze around him. Like he was stuck, everything around him moved, but he didn’t, he couldn’t.

He watched you go back to Steve. Steve comfortably threw an arm around your shoulder and let you know that you could stay here with him and that he would drive you to The Hideout tonight.

And it should have been him. Him, who offered to take you to his place. Him, you spent the rest of your day with.

Him, who you ran off to whenever you felt sad or when your heart was broken. He couldn’t accept that he was no longer the one you ran to, but the one who caused all of it. 

✦ final authors note — OKAY. so please let me know if u want flashbacks in the next chapter bc thats what i had in mind but idk how yall feel abt flashbacks but i swear they will reveal A LOT LMAO.

also please interact/reblog/like or give me any feedback to support me ily &lt;3

permanent taglist (lmk if u want to be added): @mandyjo8719 @kellsck @batkin028 @hideoutside @sashaphantomhive @nabiiturner @andvys (ILY.) @siriuslysmoking @plk-18 @emxxblog @babyloutattoo89 @micheledawn1975 @sole-screws @joannamuns9n @trixyvixx @fangirling-4-ever @browneyes528

[h3ffleyswife]

"i cant hold my alcohol" (r. heffley x reader)

desc: fem! reader who's ben's little sister. drunken mishaps, you sleep in rodricks bed, just read it

warnings: slightly ooc rodrick ngl, i wrote this when i was tired lolz sry

word count: 2480

You buckle your seat belt and throw your purse on the floor of your brothers car. "We're going over to Rodricks, his parents are out of town so he's throwing a party, sound good?" Ben, your brother, says while reversing out of your guys' driveway. You furrow your eyebrows, "Rodrick? The hot one in your band?" You questioned, picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingernails. Ben looked over at you and scoffed, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. But no way would I ever let you two date. You guys would make my life a living hell." You roll your eyes and sigh, "Whatever, leave me to my fantasies, Ben."

Your brother's face contorts into one of disgust and he pulls in front of a house that you can only assume is the Heffley's. "Please, spare me with the details of your Rodrick fantasies." Ben says, putting the car in park and taking his keys. You giggle to yourself and hop out of his shitty, beat up car. You can see lots of kids already here, most of them already wasted out of their minds. Ben walks in front of you towards the front door, and your heart flutters with nerves.

Stepping through the door, the first thing that hits your nose is alcohol, and it almost makes you nauseous. Ben's already gone off somewhere, so you walk around until you can find the drinks. Peeking your head into the kitchen, there's a couple borderline fucking on Rodricks kitchen counter. You scrunch your eyebrows and turn around, there didn't seem to be any drinks in there anyways.

It takes you about five minutes and squeezing your way through a bunch of intoxicated, smelly teens, but you finally find the drinks. Gwen Stefani is blasting in your ear while you pour yourself a coke mixed with a little bit of whatever shitty alcohol Rodrick managed to get his hands on. You take a sip, there's not too much alcohol in the drink, which is good. You don't plan on getting drunk tonight.

Rodrick is standing in a corner of his living room, chatting it up with his band members when Ben walks up to him. Rodrick greets him with a high five and a large grin on his face, "What's up dude? What took you so long?!" Chris asks Ben, also giving the boy a high five. "Sorry guys, my sister took hella long to get ready, but we made it!" Ben said and took a sip of his drink, he's lucky you already agreed to being designated driver, because there was enough alcohol in his cup to kill a victorian child. Rodricks ears perked up at the mention of you, "Your sister's here?" Rodrick questioned Ben, who looked at him with a raised brow. "Yeah.. she's somewhere around here, why? Is that okay? She's in our grade, it's not like I brought my 7 year old sister or anything." Ben rambles, Rodrick's now scanning the room for your familiar face.

It's been a running "joke" between the band that Rodrick has a thing for you, Ben's sister, for a while now. Any time you showed up with Ben to practice because of convenience, Rodricks playing would be off, and he'd be distracted the whole practice. There was just something about you, Rodrick thought to himself. "Hey man, stop daydreaming about Ben's sister!" Chris waves his hand in front of Rodricks face and laughs, making Rodrick blink a couple times before laughing nervously and looking at Ben. Ben rolls his eyes before making eye contact with Rodrick, "I wouldn't actually be upset if you tried to date my sister, but I swear on my mother, Rodrick, that I will put you six feet under if you screw her over." Ben places his hand on Rodricks shoulder and tightens his grip, making Rodrick gulp nervously before nodding quickly, "Of course dude, I wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt her!" He swats Ben's hand away, "I have business to attend to, gentlemen." Rodrick shouts, walking- maybe skipping- away to go find you. Ben sighs and takes another swig of his drink while Chris laughs to himself, turning to go try and talk to a girl.

You're leaning against a wall, starting to get mildly bored, when someone taps your shoulder. Turning around, you see Rodrick. Your face immediately gets hot and you give him a small smile, "Hey!" Rodrick says with a smile, giving you a quick once-over. You pretend not to see him looking you up and down, feeling an unfamiliar feeling in your stomach. "Hey Rodrick, how's it going?" You ask, your voice shaky and hands clammy enough to open a seafood restaurant. You cleared your throat awkwardly, normally, you were able to hold a conversation with him, why was it so different now? Rodrick gives you a nervous smile and stutters out a reply, "Well, throwing a party is way harder than it seems, y'know. How've you been? I don't really see you around school much." He smiles at you and you feel like you've just levitated off of the ground, "Haha, yeah I bet. I'm not doing too bad, just kind of doing my own thing, you know? I haven't been doing a lot recently, but I did just pick up a new guitar the other day, learning it's been kind of a pain in the ass though." You find yourself starting to ramble. Rodrick just looks at you and melts into your voice, nodding at certain parts. "You should teach me how to play once you've got it down. I could teach you how to play the drums, not to flex or anything, but I'd say I'm pretty good" Rodrick says and crosses his arms, smirking to himself. You laugh and shake your head, "If you sound anything like you did a couple months ago, I think I'll pass on those lessons, Rodrick" You giggle, watching his face fall.

"Hey! I've improved, thank you! And I wasn't even that bad..." Rodrick looks away with a pink face, and you find yourself smiling at the boy. "Sorry, sorry. I'll have to take you up on those drum lessons, then." Rodrick looks at you and laughs, "You want another drink?" You look at your empty cup and shrug, "Sure, why not."

Rodrick leads you into the dining room where he had drinks laid out on the table, "Let me make you something, are you driving later?" He asks you, and you pause, "I could find a ride home". He raises his eyebrow, "You could always just crash over here if that's okay with you?" Your stomach twists in excitement and you nod, "That's fine by me, why are you trying to get me drunk, Heffley? Don't try anything funny" You say and take the drink he's made you out of his hands, throwing him a smirk afterwards. Rodrick's eyes go wide and he stutters and trips over his own words, "W-wait!! I'm not trying- that's not-" You cut him off by laughing loudly, shaking your head. "I'm just giving you a hard time, if I didn't want to drink, I wouldn't have agreed to you making me drink." Rodrick lets out a loud sigh and playfully glares at you, "Gave me a heart attack" He grumbles and you giggle again, taking another sip of your drink. It was pretty strong, and you realized you should tell your brother to figure out a ride home because you were no longer going to drive him home. You take another sip, "Hey, do you know where my brother is by any chance? I need to tell him i'm not gonna drive him home, maybe Chris can?" Your words start to slur together and Rodrick nods, "I'll go find him and tell him, stay right here, 'kay?" You nod and pour yourself another drink.

Rodrick shuffles through his now, very full, house and looks for Ben. He finally catches sight of the boy, but he's on his way out of the house. "Ben! Hold on-" Rodrick catches him walking out the door, Ben looks back and tilts his head to the side, "What's up dude?"

"Hey, do you have a ride home tonight?" "I was about to leave and drive mysel- oh shit I forgot about my sister, have you seen her?" Rodrick swallows nervously, "Yeah, we've been hanging out all night. Is she cool to stay here tonight? No funny business, I promise! She's just starting to get kind of drunk, and I need to stay home to like... supervise this party, you know?" Ben sighed and nodded, "Yeah, that's cool. Let me know if I need to come get her at any point. Don't do anything stupid, Rodrick. See you at practice tomorrow." Ben says, shutting the door after he does. Rodrick hopes he's not overly upset with him.

Making his way back to the dining room, Rodrick sees you beeline to the bathroom in front of him suddenly. He looks around confused for a moment before quickly following you to the bathroom, making sure you're okay. You slam the door behind you and Rodrick can hear the sound of you throwing up on the other side of the door. He winces and knocks on the door gently, "Hey, it's Rodrick, can I come in?"

There's a pause of silence. Rodrick can hear you cough, and then throw up again. After a minute or so passes, your voice can be heard weakly behind the door, "...come in". Rodrick opens the door, shoves himself in the bathroom and then quickly shuts it behind him again. You look up at him with tears in your eyes from throwing up, and the sudden motion of looking up makes you nauseous again, immediately throwing your head back towards the toilet bowl. Rodrick quickly kneels down next to you and holds your hair behind your head, and rubs your back.

After you're done throwing up, you look back at Rodrick, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw up like that. I can't hold my alcohol very well, I guess" You say, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting anything but to be here right now. Rodrick shushed you and tucked your hair behind your ear, "Here, I have a shirt you can change into, do you want pajama pants too? I'll get you water and you can lay down in my bed." He offers, holding you and slowly standing you up. You shake your head, "You don't have to do tha-" "I want to do that, do you need me to walk you upstairs? Or do you got it while I grab you some water?" He asks gently while walking you out the door. Your face turns pink and you sigh, knowing you couldn't avoid it now. "I got it, which room is yours?" "All the way down the hall and to the left, you'll know which one when you open it." He says, smiling and walking away to grab you a glass of water once he sees that you're walking up the stairs. Once you're up the stairs, you go to the room Rodrick told you to. Surprisingly, his room isn't terrible. Could it use some tidying up? Yeah, but for a teenage boy, it was fairly well kept. You sit down on his bed and wait for him, slipping your shoes off.

Rodrick opens the door, and cracks a small smile once he sees you sitting in his bed. You look up and give him a small smile back, grabbing the glass of water he offers you. He walks over and opens his wardrobe, grabbing you a black graphic tee and some pajama bottoms. When he hands you the clothes, you notice that he gave you one of his Loded Diper tee's, and you smile to yourself while your heart flutters. "I think I have these same pajama pants" You state, the pants looking very familiar. Rodrick laughs, "We should totally match, wouldn't that be cute?" He says, with a joking tone, but he meant it.

You looked up and giggled, "Turn around for a minute while I change" Rodrick's face goes red, and he nods before turning around. You take your shirt off and put on the Loded Diper shirt. It smells like cheap cologne and... Rodrick. You can't describe how he smells, but it makes your heart jump in your chest. You slide your pants off and put on the pajamas, looking up at Rodrick, who's still staring into the wall, focusing on anything but the fact that there's a hot girl changing in his room. "You can turn back around, Rodrick"

He turns around and his stomach flutters at the sight of you in his clothes. "Drink some water and lay down, you can go to bed if you want to. I'll sleep on the floor tonight." Rodrick says, taking a pillow off his bed and tossing it lightly on the floor. "I can sleep on the floor, Rodrick, I don't mind" "No, I'm not making a pretty girl sleep on the floor, do you think I'm crazy?" He says, almost offended at the thought of letting you sleep on his floor. You blush, and look away awkwardly with a quiet laugh. He smiles at you, and walks towards his door. "I'm gonna go tell people to go home, I'll be back up in a minute" You nod and he leaves the room.

Laying back in his bed, the situation you're in starts to sink in.

You're in Rodrick Heffley's bed. And you're wearing his clothes. What the fuck? Your heart pounds and you turn onto your side, closing your eyes and cuddling into his pillow. It wont hurt to close your eyes for a minute until Rodrick gets back.

Rodrick goes around downstairs, telling people that they should start to head home because it's getting late. People leave, and Rodrick has to kick a couple people awake off of his living room floor. He looks around at the mess that he'd have to deal with tomorrow and sighs. He'd probably just get Greg to help him with it.

Rodrick walks up the stairs and gently opens his bedroom door. He walks in, shutting the door behind him and then looks over to you, and his heart soars. He swears he can feel his heart pouring out of his chest, how was it possible for a girl to look so beautiful? He walks over to your sleeping figure and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You're so pretty.." He says quietly, and kisses the side of your head.

Rodrick makes himself a makeshift bed on his floor, staring at the small portion of your sleeping figure that he can see. "Goodnight" He says to you with a smile, turning over, thinking about you.

What an eventful night.

hey!!! first fic in a while, let me know if you'd want a part two, thx!!

[southparktexts]

HEY TOBESS!!!

ok so i maybeeeee want main 4 ( or main 3, i really don't care for cartman ) x reader

but like them playing BOARD GAMES (or video games) with reader

like pure fluff and it's so cute and yadadada

I'M NOT CREATIVE OK.

anyways LOVE U TOBES

– an🎱n 🤭🤭🤭

( i'm lttr requesting u every 2 seconds keeping u on ur toes fr. ur never getting rid of me HAHAHAHA )

ANONNN FINALLY I GOT UP TO THIS REQ OF FUCKING COURSEE

main 3 playing games

kyle :

- okay i better not hear ANY fucking complaining in the comments because i play this game

- he plays valorant.

- NOW I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD BUT HEAR ME OUT

- having you sit on his lap as you watch him play

- giving you kisses in between rounds where he dies or buying

- if he’s playing competitively and he’s losing the ONLY and only reason why he’s still calm and not losing his shit is because of you.

- if you’re getting bored he’ll purposely die just to cover you in kisses

- i feel like i should add some valorant and kyle headcannons so LET. ME. COOK.

- clove // killjoy main

- he loves playing support, not a duelist type of guy

- doesn’t like playing heals

- rank is definitely bronze

- peak at one point was probably gold

- prob spent all his allowance on skins

stan :

- whoever disagrees on this, fuck you

- hear me out

- league.

- HEARRRR ME OUT.

- toxic league boyfriend and supportive girlfriend dynamic

- he likes you on his lap, not facing the screen but him.

- like when hes playing and your head is buried into his neck.

- you’re also probably one of the thing that keeps him calm at this point

- … and not loud

- literally if he’s alone he will scream to fucking loud at teammates

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING??”

- besides that.

- the toxicity on him is crazy insane when it comes to league

- one time some girl tried to hit on him and he literally got comm banned for being toxic..

- whoops?

- he is one of those people who will whisper i love you in your ears during rounds and plays with your hair if he died.

- knowing him, hardstuck bronze 3

- peak silver 2

- watches dantes ngl

- main Vayne or Darius

kenny :

- as much as i hate to admit it. this man is poor.

- his favourite game is roblox

- unlike stan and kyle he actually wants you to play with him

- as much as he prefers you to sit on his lap, playing with you is so much more fun

- i can see him having those new avatars with face tracking

- definitely plays a lot of arsenal

- 1v1 ‘s between him go crazy

- blames every death on ping.

- HE HAS ROBLOX VC

- hear me out dahood vc with him would go crazy

- once there was an ‘deep voice’ eboy trying to hit on you.

- lets say that ended up with a community voice chat banned for 3 days and also a bunch of stomps

- hes so protective of you

- literally FORCES you to wear matching fits with him in roblox

- you guys get called edaters.

- kenny also unironically plays dress to impress and royale high

- he also unironically MAKES THE BEST FITS???

- hes special like dat ;-;

[hyuckilstan]

Make it up to you -P.Sh

Pairing!— Seonghwa x afab!reader

Genre!— Angst, smut, fluff if you squint?

warnings!— cunnilingus, protected sex, a whole lot of apologizing and petnames, make-up sex but its soft, possessiveness more like over protectiveness, kinda toxic ngl.

Summary!— Your boyfriend wants to make sure you know how sorry he feels, and how could you reject him when he was being so genuine.

Wc!— 2.1+k words

a/n!— oka I’m back lol and I thought why not make my comeback with a hwa fic (also there might be some typos idk 💀)

☽·Masterlist·☾

Right now, You’re fucking done with everything.

You’re done with Seonghwa, your boyfriend, you’re done with yourself, heck you feel like you’re done with the relationship.

“I can fucking take care of myself Hwa!” you shout back, feeling frustrated, you know Seonghwa loves you, so much so that he loves to pamper you, sometimes too much that it feels like he thinks of you as a mere child he wants to protect.

Just like tonight, you had peacefully told him that you would be fine if he left you alone at the bar while he goes to chat with his friends, since they were celebrating Hongjoong’s big day as a producer after all, although you’re pretty sure you've ruined the night for him.

Seonghwa just couldn’t resist when he saw some guy hitting on you and even swung his fist at him, resulting in you both standing outside after getting kicked out, arguing.

When you told him once again that he shouldn't have been so protective he blurted out something along the lines that you said that cause you do love the attention, or something like that.

You don’t really remember.

You don’t want to remember.

“We’ve been over this Y/N, I do this because I care for you,” he still refused to admit that what he had said and done were wrong, maybe you were dramatic about him being protective, but what he had said after hurt you more than you wish it did.

“Am I like a goddamn child to you?! I am an independent person Hwa, I can make my own choices and protect myself too, I don’t need to be dependent on someone to do that for me!” You think you’re screaming, you’re not sure, your ears are still ringing because of the loud music, and you feel like your senses are numb and your tears won't stop falling.

Seonghwa hates seeing you like this, more so that he is making you feel like this, but he just wants you to understand that he does it all because he loves you, without a second thought, he says some words he immediately regrets.

“So you call allowing that fucking man to throw himself at you independent? Maybe you are a fucking child Y/N.”

You think you can hear your heart shatter into a million pieces, you don’t respond, mainly cause you are physically unable to, you just want to scream and cry, and you do.

“Stop. I- I’m heading home, and don’t you dare follow me,” you sob and Seonghwa stands stunned when he realizes what he has said and done.

You can hear him calling your name but you choose not to, still sobbing and tears flowing like a river, you open the door to Wooyoung’s car, who had told you before you and Seonghwa left that he could drive you home, almost as if he knew that you would want some distance from your boyfriend.

Wooyoung doesn’t question you, instead he drives to your home, he does tell you that it will be okay every now and then. You wonder if your relationship with Seonghwa is in a critical position, you wonder if you would ever make up.

You do know the amswer to whose questions when you do reach your home and Wooyoung gives you a tight hug, “Don’t worry Y/N, you’ll work things out, Seonghwa loves you nd you love him, arguments happen once in a while, I just know that you guys are made for each other,” he says and you nod, wiping your tears, bidding him goodbye as well as thanking him.

Once you enter your home, you feel like the place is colder, is it because of the feeling of dread you have for when Seonghwa will return home or just because of the weather? Either way, you decide to wash up and immediately head to bed.

--------------༊·˚

Its currently a little past 1 in the morning and it seems like you have cried yourself to sleep, but your ringtone wakes you up, you decide to bot pick up seeing that it was Hwa, but when he keeps on calling you finally pick up.

You don’t say anything, but you can clearly hear Seonghwa sniffing on the other side of the phone, “Y/N... Please, let me in, I’m so sorry, please, ” his pleads are pathetic and Seonghwa knows it.

You hang up without saying a word but you do get up to open the door, after mentally preparing yourself to face him of course

When you open the door, you see Seonghwa, possibly in the most hopeful yet miserable state you’ve seen. He looks stoked to see you, he starts crying, and you are about to start crying too.

He lets himself in, locking the door behind him, “Hwa-” before you can say more, Seonghwa’s soft lips are pressed against yours harshly, you both need this.

He effortlessly hoists you up so that your legs are wrapped around his hips, he doesn’t stop kissing you, instead he makes the kiss deeper, more intimate but you don’t complain.

He somehow managed to stumble into the bedroom and he gently lays you down on the bed, he pulls himself away and you almost whimper, “I’m sorry baby, are you okay with this?” he asks, his voice is full of hurt and regret, you can feel it, because that is also the same case for you when you speak out.

You cannot exaggerate how good he looks right now, his soft skin illuminated by the moonlight and his eyes that are glistening as they look up at yours.

“Hwa don’t stop, please,” you plead and he nods diving back in the kiss, his hands are all over your body now, your body is burning up, he feels so fucking good against you.

His lips leave yours but they start trailing down your neck, sucking and nibbling it, “Is this okay?” he asks for your assurance when his fingers are pulling at the waistband of your shorts, you nod, tugging at the hem of his shirt, Seonghwa nods as well, taking off his shirt in one swift movement and now you’re staring at him, observing his every next movements.

He slowly pulls your shorts down along with your underwear, your breath hitches when you feel his hot breath against your now wet core, “You don’t have to...” you say quietly but Seonghwa shakes his head in disagreement

“No baby, let me make it up to you, please?” he asks innocently, and who were you to say no to him, when you give him the green light he wastes no time in taking you in his mouth

He wets your already wet folds and starts flicking his tongue at your clit, “Fuck!” you groan, Seonghwa was always skilled with his tongue and that makes you feel intoxicated, he always looks so pretty between your legs.

Your fingers rake his hair, tugging his hair slightly to pull him closer, Seonghwa doesn’t complain, rather he loves it when yiu chase for your pleasure.

Your moans bounce off the walls of the bedroom as your boyfriend alternates between giving kitten licks to your cunt and flicking your clit with his tongue, Seonghwa softly moans when you tug his hair harsher, he was growing rock hard at this point.

He sucks at your clit making you gasp, “I’m so sorry baby, I love you I love you I love you,” he says between his sucks and licks, he continues repeating the words “I love you” and “I’m sorry” every now and then, and before you know it, tears are staring to fall again, this time not only because of hurt, but also because of pleasure.

He fucks his tongue into your wet hole while his nose brushes against your clit and Seonghwa feels contented when he hears your moans getting louder, but he wants to hear more from you.

So he wets his fingers in his mouth, fucking two digits into you, you moan out loudly when he starts curling them, the pleasure was starting to get really intense.

“That’s it baby, take it all for me, just want you to feel good,” he says and resumes on fucking you with his fingers and sucking your clit, “Hwa, I think- I’m going to cum soon-” you inform him and he hums, fucking his fingers into you even faster.

Curses leave your mouth as you buck your hips while the pleasure Seonghwa was delivering to you remained constant; you feel your climax arriving dangerously close and before you could warn him, you had came all over your boyfriend’s face.

You gasp at the sight of seonghwa’s face smeared with arousal, feeling more aroused when he licks it all up, “Fuck baby that was so hot,” he chuckles, he gets up to take off his clothes that were still on and crawling back up to the bed, staring right at you.

He gently cups your face, it feels nice and warm, “I feel so fucking stupid baby, will you forgive me?” he asks and you stare at him for a little longer before you hum, he’s still hesitant so you decide to speak up, “Hwa, I just want you to fuck the pain away,” you tell him and it causes his cock to twitch.

“Shit baby, you have no idea what you do to me,” he growls and Seonghwa, being the best boyfriend he (almost) always is obliges, he quickly grabs a condom from your nightstand and rolling it down along his erect length, he then aligns his dick to your hole after wetting it with your arousal.

He easily slides himself in, and you both moan in unison, you frantically reach out your arms to pull him closer, noticing this, Seonghwa starts kissing you again, and you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.

He starts to slowly rock his hips towards yours, fucking in and out of you deliciously, “Yes, right there Hwa,” you moan when his length hits just the right spot, Seonghwa hums and continuously abuses that spot.

He swallows your moans as your tongues danced together, his hands are back to cupping your face and right now, you feel so loved, Seonghwa was making love to you.

“You feel so tight,” he groans, fucking even deeper into you, his lips are now against your neck again, this time peppering it softly, while you moan out without a single care, all your frustration leaving as pleasure arrives.

Your second climax is arriving and you need more, “Hwa, please- harder,” you ask, Seonghwa responds obediently to your request, he was now slamming his length into you at a fast pace, to which he loudly curses.

You reach your hands down to your clit, gently rubbing then, Seonghwa smirks amused, “That’s it baby, rub that clit while I fuck you so good,” he pants and you nod frantically.

When Seonghwa notices that your moans are getting more choked and louder he speaks up again, “You’re gonna cum for me again my love?” You nod and his groans follows your response, “Me too love- fuck- let’s cum together.”

You cannot form words, or at least coherent ones, you just take the pleasure you’re receiving, you can also tell that Seonghwa is close to the edge when you feel him twitch inside of you.

He places his hands at your hips tightly and pulls your hips and fucking into you, your choked out moans, the sound of skin on skin and his pants are the only thing you can now hear.

“Shit I’m cumming” he says and you do too as he continues to fuck into you while he empties his load in the rubber, once you both reach your climax, he rests his forehead against yours, you’re both breathing heavily at this point.

He lays himself next to you, softly kissing you, he brushes a portion of your hair behind your ear and sighs, “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I promise to never do or say those things again,” he apologizes again for you don’t even remember how many times but could feel how genuine Seonghwa was being.

You smile softly at him, which further reassured him that you have indeed forgiven him, “It’s okay Hwa,” you snuggle onto him, “Arguments can break out often, we can only do so much as grow from them,” you tell him.

Seonghwa cannot describe how happy he feels as well as how proud, he does realize now that you are a grown up who is capable of handling themselves and that he had been pampering and babying you too much.

“I love you so much,” he says pulling you in tighter against his chest, “I love you too,” you reply with a faint smile.

Wooyoung was right, you would’ve come up with a solution one way or the other, as weird as this may be, you managed to work things out.

You were made for each other.

©hyuckilstan. All Rights Reserved.

Taglist!— @yeo-hehet, @hwanchaesong, @enivivs, @alphadisaster, @zen626, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @amangooo, @riboism (feel free to inform me if I had forgotten to add you or you wanted to be added in the taglist!)

[mcyteggs]

woke up at 12 am and all i can think abt the empire and the sticklers like im sorry but i am so not normal abt their alliance it means the entire world to me.....

like especially the trust JUMPER has in the empire. ive been chewing through her s6 vods and the speed at which she went from fearing and wanting revenge bc they killed her and ro to her trusting them and wanting them to trust her was actually crazy

and this is all bc mapicc and minute chased clown away from her base bc he was hunting her down and she had no one else to protect her w her team offline. like yeah other people like zam and pangi were on but realistically how can they fight a clownpierce when zam was, at that point, a pacifist and pangi is pangi? /lh

them choosing to help jumper that day changed soooo much, it led to her warning the empire of her and reks silly end portal prank and warning them abt her trap,, and her taking direct action to build a bridge between their two teams which was both only possible bc yk. mapicc and minutes inherent bias for some people on the team ANDDDD their sense of honour when it comes to who they choose to fight

like as much as the empire WANTS to be the bad guys this season, its quite funny how they just ARENT (yet) bc they have actual honour and morals in comparison to the blindfold bandits (flame, mane, wemmbu, and pentar i believe) who have been terrorizing the server, especially low heart players, since the beginning.

bc like choosing to protect jumper from clown was just...THE most minute and mapicc thing ever like theyre both just like that; i dont think either of them see any purpose behind terrorizing and hunting players like jumper, pangi, squiddo, etc who both dont really involve themselves in pvp and who dont HAVE the capability to fight back if theyre jumped by someone w like 20 hearts

like dont get me wrong theyll attack players who are weaker than them, theyre not moral and faultless people, like minute killing sb for a heart, mapicc wanting to kill kab for a heart bc he thinks she has too many (before he hit 20 hearts), etc but those are players who have CHOSEN to involve themselves in pvp and to kill other players—

and im crying wait i hate devotion duo so fucking bad bc ive just now realized mapiccs standards for players he will kill vs ones he deems needing his protection if he knows theyre being hunted by like mane, clown, or wemmbu is literally identical to ZAMS own standards for players he will involve himself in conflict for vs those he wont (aka innocent players vs those who choose to involve themselves in Situations)

anyways! im just yapping atp but idc. yeah so mapicc and minutes inherent sense of honour in regards to fighting and pvp on top of hopperclock-duality friendship buff from previous season(s) has lead to one of the most interesting alliances ever like if u could not tell i love and adore this alliance so very much bc the foundation of it is trust and friendship rather than power or how they can benefit one another

they have common enemies for sure, but a lot of what they do doesnt even really involve fighting or conflict. its mostly just spending time together and being silly likeeee jumper and spokes silly4silly friendship, ro helping mapicc stalk zam, chief refusing to trap/kill rek after chat asks bc theyre buddies, etc etc

i really desperately want to see them interact and do more together bc i just wanna see both teams login more ngl but i'd also like to see them just have fun TOGETHER like they did during the pangi wipe out recording during that one session a few weeks ago yk,, i also hope the empire will involve the sticklers in whatever shit they have planned for january bc they allegedly have some evil, devious things planned when minute is more free / available for life steal

i actually just have no idea what im saying anymore ngl ive been typing for over an hr but tysm if u read me yapping abt the empire and the sticklers. it will happen again. /threat

[lynxtheserval]

Can i request Self-awake! Yandere! Illumina x player! reader? reader main sword

deadass kinda hard to write with limited information so I'm so sorry if it's bad or ooc!

Also! This wasn't the best writing I've done so I'm so sorry for that, but schools been hella crazy ngl

Might do a part 2 if y'all want , but it might take a while to make haha

Self-Aware!Yan!Illumina x player!reader

(TW: not as hard on the yandere aspects, but still a tw for stalking (kinda), kidnapping (also kinda), and curse words)

It was a normal day for you, at first at least. You got up, went to your classes in college, went back to your dorm, and played a Roblox game for a little while. You played Slap Battles for a good moment or two until you got bored of slapping children off a cliff with your overpowered paid glove. You then got back onto your favorites page, and saw a game you haven't played in like… a week.

Phighting.

It seems it got some sort of update, because the game icon changed to… some sorta deity looking thing. You didn't know much about the lore, you were mostly just playing the game for the gameplay. You had no idea what or who the icon was showing, but you went into the game without a second thought.

It loaded up like normal, same old music, same old map, same old characters… seems like nothing much has changed.

So you picked your main, Sword, and got into the game. You went to where Zuka was, pressing all the buttons you needed to get into the game.

It loaded.

And loaded.

And loaded.

Why the hell was it taking so long?

You started getting a little frustrated, and made an audible sigh of annoyance. You tried to close the game, but.. you couldn't? You went to the task manager, and tried closing Roblox from there, but Roblox didn't even show up! In fact.. nothing did. Your computer was messed up. You tried to turn off the computer as a whole, but surprise surprise, it didn't turn off.

“What the fuck..?” You murmured.

Then your computer froze completely. You tried clicking every button, tried turning it off AGAIN, and anything you could think of, until the computer suddenly unfroze.

You looked back up at the screen, and you saw you were.. still in Phighting, somehow. You were still in Crossroads, But every other player was gone, and all the NPCs were too, you were alone.

“What the hell..?” You decided to look around the map, or the middle part of Crossroads at least.

Then you saw something in the chat. A name in purple-ish white text. A name reading: Illumina.

“Hello, I've been waiting for your arrival, Y/n.”

It.. it knew your name. Not your username, but your ACTUAL FUCKING NAME. Your own computer doesn't even know your own name! You use your username for everything!

You managed to type in the chat:

“Hello? How do you know my name?”

“I know a lot about you, my dear. Now why don't you come meet me face to face, hm?”

Your computer froze again. Then, out of nowhere, your body started hurting, your ears started ringing, your eyes got blurry, your head started aching, it felt like you were dying. You soon passed out.

You woke up startled. You quickly sat up, but your head didn't seem to be feeling too great. Once your vision calmed down and you were able to see again, you looked around at where you were. You seemed to be in some brightly lit white room with no door and no windows. You got up from the oddly comfortable bed you woke up in and stood up. And with a thud, you fell onto the floor, your legs giving up on you.

“You won't be able to walk for a few hours, Y/N. So stop trying.”

You heard a voice, intimidating and masculine in nature. You looked up towards the voice.

A man, or what looks to be a man, was looking down at you. A bright figure, with one wing, dressed in mostly flowy clothes. He was wearing mostly white, but had a hint of purple in his outfit as well. Not to mention, one purple horn protruding from the left side of his head, with two other small horns coming out of the main one.

You moved to try to get up again but before you could, the man picked you up, and placed you back on the bed. You both made eye contact, his eyes… they were completely white, and bright, they seemed like they would blind you if you looked in them too long. He took notice of this, and smiled slightly.

“Good morning, love. Are you feeling okay? Humans.. I do not know if they handle world transportation well.”

“I.. who.. who are you..?” You managed to ask, it was hard for you to talk, it seemed.

“I am Illumina, and you are Y/N, such a lovely name.”

He placed a pale hand on your cheek, and laughed a little when you tried to pull away. You were confused, and scared, but you felt so.. weak, that you didn't have enough energy to push back too hard.

“Y/N, do not worry. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Wh..what do you mean..? Wh..where am I..?”

“You're home.”

[starrysvn]

married in vegas | choi san

pairing: choi san x gn!reader genre: exes2lovers synopsis: choi san had been your first true love and who you'd hoped would be your last. but things don't always work out. too bad your friends were his too, and jung wooyoung was hellbent on spending a long weekend birthday trip in las vegas. never mind your poor heart. warnings: drinking, swear words, a lil angst, dramatics, fluff, unedited word count: 5.2k author's note: fourth installment is here! hope you like this one, i recently rewatched that one episode of friends (iykyk) and just thought i'd put the final dialogue from it in here, kinda. ngl i feel like on the whole i could've done better but i hope you'll enjoy your read anyway! :3

series masterlist | regular masterlist

The breakup was amicable. You stayed friends and, sure, you didn’t hang out as much as you used to - for obvious reasons - and, yes, you did try to get out of any gathering that you knew he was going to be at. Still, you were civil. You could be in his presence.

And yet, all of that didn’t explain why the mere mention of him joining his best friend’s birthday trip to Las Vegas, had you circling around the room like a madman. 

“I hope you’re fucking joking” you whine through the phone, earning a sigh from Yeosang.

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion” 

“Am I?”

After talking your best friend’s ear off for minutes on end, that sounded wrong to your own ears.

“How did you not realize? San is Wooyoung’s best friend, of course he’d be there!” he reasons, as if you need a reminder that you are being ridiculous. “Plus, he’s taking a huge leap of faith in inviting you both”

“Listen, it was months ago, he didn’t use the group chat to invite us, I didn’t put two and two together. I had a lot on my plate! And hey, we’re civil!” The silence that meets you is so loud. You sigh. “Sorry for the dramatics, it’s been a long day” 

After all, you are still recovering from having to dash home in a downpour. And having to stay after hours to have a long, unnecessary meeting with your head of department. Realizing your ex-boyfriend would also be joining your long weekend getaway was just the cherry on top.

“I’d say sorry for springing this up on you at the last minute, but then again, I could’ve just waited to see your face tomorrow” you hit him back with a real funny, Sang, smiling when you hear him snort. The line goes quiet for a second. “Do you want me to come over? We can head to the airport together in the morning” Yeosang says softly, a silent peace offering. 

“Are you kidding? Have you seen the weather?” you look out the window, the rain’s still unforgivingly pouring down. 

“Unlike you, I don’t refuse to drive in dire conditions” he pokes fun.

“You’re on thin fucking ice, Kang Yeosang” 

“I’ll be over in ten” you could basically see his amused grin. You let out a chuckle hanging up. Then you press a hand to your forehead, trying to soothe the headache starting to form.

Choi San is the boyfriend. The one you never thought would leave. The one parting from hurt like nothing you ever experienced. The one you eventually bounced back from, but did you really? Because it still feels as if he was a part of you, just as much as you are a part of him. And when he left, you had to re-learn how to go through life with a missing piece.

He’d been your best friend, the person you ran to for everything. Someone you loved so much that it scared you sometimes because you knew just how much it would kill you to lose him. 

Choi San is the one that got away and took a piece of you with him.

But what could you do, after months of healing and avoiding him, when your friends were his friends too? Declining invitations got old fast. The first time you saw him again, you thought you could handle his presence for the night. And you did but cried the whole way home. After that, no more. With time, it got better. Seeing him no longer left you with a sinking feeling. Of course, it isn’t like before, but it never could be, and you made your peace with that.

Still, after one year, you microdose on San, afraid of what could happen to your heart if you spent too much time close to him. It’s for your own sake, your peace of mind. That’s why, when it finally clicked into place that you’d be spending a whopping four days in his presence, you flipped. 

The doorbell pulls you from your thoughts, and a smiley Yeosang holding a bottle of wine greets you. You should have known better than to accept alcohol as a peace offering from your best friend. Most of all, you should know that it never really ends with just one bottle. Because now you are incredibly hungover, severely nauseous and totally late for your flight. 

“This is all your fault” you hiss as Yeosang asks the Uber driver to please hurry. Both your phones are annoyingly dinging with unread text messages, not helping your headache at all. 

“Excuse you?” he turns around, tone accusatory. “As far as I remember, you were the one who brought out the tequila” 

“Well, you didn’t stop me”

“You were crying!”

“Even worse!”

Your bickering is brought to an end by the screeching halt of the car in front of the airport. You ignore the severe wave of nausea it causes and get out, Yeosang right in tow. Incessant teasing and half-hearted blame tossing accompanies your run through the airport. 

With just five minutes to spare, Wooyoung’s screeching hyena laughter welcomes the two of you at the gate. Surely the matching sunglasses and coats thrown over your pyjamas are a sight to behold, you think as you hug your friends hello. 

“Birthday boy!” you pull Wooyoung into a big hug, giggling when he sways you both back and forth. 

“Thank you for coming” he already said that months ago, when he first proposed the idea, but right now - with San’s eyes on you - the sincerity in Wooyoung’s somehow shines brighter.

“Thank you for having me” you smile genuinely. The breakup put a strain on your group of friends for a little, and you wanted to make sure he knew how much you appreciated him wanting you here. He squeezes your hand, before moving to Yeosang. 

“We need to go, you’ll say hi in eleven hours when we land. Chop, chop!” Seonghwa rushes everyone to join the last few people in line. You let go of Mingi, laughing, hearing Yunho say something along the lines of they literally just started boarding, and follow the rest. You finish saying your hellos through boarding, finally facing San. 

As you always do when it comes to him, you push down whatever mixed feelings bubbled up in your chest and put on a smile. 

“Hi, San," you wave, so you're stunned when he just spares you a quick side hug, smiling curtly after greeting you.

Your friends had long stopped holding their breath whenever you two are in the same room, but this feels off. Like a splash of cold water, it sends you back to the first, awkward time you met up again. Nobody seems to notice though, apart from Yeosang. Unlike the rest of your friends, his gaze still lingers on you carefully. You subtly nod at him, like you always do. 

Sighing, you keep walking beside your best friend, not really able to shake the disappointment San’s cold greeting leaves you with. Despite your best efforts, you let it eat away at you during the flight, the car ride to the hotel and the moments you unpack. No amount of berating does it. Why would he behave like that? Is this all in your head?

It’s not like you two would usually have heart to hearts but you talked, at least. You were friendly. So you don’t get why suddenly San is being so distant. For Wooyoung’s sake, you promised yourself you’d do your best to ignore it all. Be the bigger person and not get involved with whatever bullshit had his panties in a twist. 

A whole day into the trip and you had to resist the urge to punch him in the face for behaving like an immature teenager multiple times. But you keep contact to a minimum. Complain to Yeosang in the comfort of your hotel room. Take several deep breaths. You aren’t good at this whole maintain-inner-peace thing.

“I just wish he would stop ignoring me” 

The view from the panoramic terrace of the hotel is breathtaking, but, margarita in hand and sunglasses on, you find yourself not fully appreciating it. Not when you are using your time away from the rest of the group to vent to your best friend. Again. 

“Ah, so you do care” the way Yeosang wiggles his eyebrows makes you want to wipe off that smirk on his face. 

“No, I don’t” he doesn’t look too convinced. “Seriously! He’s just making it hard to get along with him”

“Or is his distance making you think about stuff you don’t want to think about?” you hate how much your best friend knows you. You let out an exasperated sigh. 

The last thing you should be thinking about was your ex, but you can’t help it. He wouldn’t usually behave like that and, you had to admit, it threw you for a loop. Not to mention how you despise the way you still catch yourself thinking about him. It’s subconscious at this point and it's been hard to accept. Had he finally moved on? Were you the only one left running in circles inside your head?

No matter how much distance there is between the two of you, he’s still there, in a corner of your mind. Like a phantom pain, he follows you in the most mundane of things. The frozen aisle at the supermarket still reminds you of his favorite ice cream brand. When buying Christmas presents, your brain immediately goes to the one thing he’s been obsessing over. The reminders zap you like an electric shock, bringing you back to reality. San is a friend now - they say. Nothing more, nothing less. And so you’d berate your heart for acting like he wasn’t. You’d put down the tube of mint-choco ice cream with a sigh, and choose fucking socks as a present. 

“Promise we won’t change?” 

It was hard to make out the look on his face through the tears in your eyes. You never thought breaking up would hurt this bad, like giving up a piece of you. It felt like the end of the world. Of your world. One where you could no longer navigate life with San.

“You’ll always be my best friend” he murmured, lips against the skin of your neck. You felt the wetness on his face, too. “We’ll go back to how it was before”

But how could it? Now that you knew what it was like to be loved by him, and what a thing it was to love him. Against all hopes, that night, you hoped he was right. 

No amount of space was ever able to lessen the strain the break-up put on your already existing friendship. You keep it amicable, for everyone else’s sake, but it just isn’t like before. It could never be. You both broke that promise, one that perhaps you shouldn’t even have made.

You’ve long realized that it’s closure that you need. Because the two of you healed separately, but never really talked about it together. It’s a conversation you need to have if you intend on being around each other. What scares you the most, though, is the possibility of something happening. Or rather, of you letting it happen. You aren’t so sure about San. If you truly want to let go, you need to know.

The dings of your phones pulls you from your thoughts.

meet in the lobby in an hour-ish? we’re going out!

You share a look with Yeosang, knowing birthday celebrations are due tonight, and Wooyoung isn’t about to hold back. 

“Let’s go” your best friend offers an encouraging smile, walking back to the room with you. 

-

The second you go down to meet with your friends, you feel yourself stumble on your heels and almost wish to find a way out of this dinner party. Now, you aren’t a stranger to San’s beauty, you never were. But holy fuck, how you wished that he was still yours. If he were, you could saunter up to him and tell him just how breathtaking he looked with his unbuttoned white shirt and slicked-back hair. The knowledge hits you like a train and leaves you breathless.

You need a drink. 

And, boy, do you get one.

You don’t remember the last time you had this much fun. Wooyoung sure knows how to party. The dinner went quite smoothly - safely hidden between Yeosang and Mingi, you didn’t spare much attention to San, not that he spared you any - and soon after the birthday boy dragged you to a club.

“Sunshine!” Wooyoung appears out of nowhere, stealing you away from your impromptu dance battle against a buzzed Mingi. “Don’t you look stunning” he compliments, twirling you around, flirty as usual. You cackle, throwing your hands on his shoulders. 

“Thanks Woo, you look dashing” you wink back, dancing with him.

“You shouldn’t be saying that to me,” he laughs. The confusion in your eyes must be enough for him to elaborate. “I noticed you’ve been eyeing a certain someone… who happened to be eyeing back”

“Who?” you’re going to fight this. No way.

“Don’t play dumb now” his face gets closer until his lips are pressed against the shell of your ear. “If looks could kill, I’d be dust right now. So would be Mingi” you gape at him, watching as he smiles amusedly.

“Wooyoung, we’re not going to talk about me and him during your birthday party”

“Oh, please! My birthday wish is for you two to get back together already!” homeboy is drunk. Your jaw hits the floor, and you smack his arm. He just laughs harder. 

“Wooyoung, what!? You can’t be serious” 

“Come on! You’re both incredibly oblivious about your feelings. It's getting sad” he groaned in frustration. “You’re still obviously hung up on each other and I can’t take it anymore, it’s excruciating! Take me out of this misery” 

“There’s a reason we called it quits, Woo” you deadpan, taking a step back from him.

“And it’s a stupid one,” he looks like he’s about to say more, but he can’t. 

“Alright enough” because Yunho, your saving grace, intervenes. “We’re going back to our booth” he shoots you an apologetic smile, half dragging the birthday boy away and back to the others. You don’t know how much of the conversation he caught, but judging by the good-natured scolding he’s doing, it was enough. You sigh, deciding it’s time for your well-deserved drink. As soon as you reach the bar, you claim the last free stool for yourself. 

Wooyoung’s words won’t leave you alone. They keep bouncing around in your head louder than the booming music. Was it really a stupid reason? But most of all, how drunk does he have to be to insinuate that San is still in love with you? That you are still in love with him?

You nod to the bartender when the drink lands in front of you. 

The night you broke up is a tangled up mess of emotions and memories you rarely ever allow to resurface. At first, it hurt too much, and then, just like everything else San, you tried to forget in order to move on. But if you think long enough, you still feel him slip away from you, the hollow in your chest when you woke up the morning after and his head wasn’t resting on the pillow beside yours. 

Lazily, you toy with the straw of your drink.

It was something about work and it keeping you apart that drove a wedge into your relationship. The nights when one of you would pass out waiting up for the other started to become the norm. The arguments that the lack of each other’s presence fired up outnumbered the sweet talks you used to have over dinner. 

Bitter words were spoken, and everything crashed and burned to its fateful end. The mutual decision to break it off before you broke the other seemed the best option. You never truly gave yourself time to think if you regretted it, afraid that bringing it up would only prevent you from letting San go. So, you foolishly swept it under the rug. 

And now, here you are, downing your drink in response to the wave of emotions Wooyoung’s words elicited in you. Trying to ignore how your skin crawls every time the man sitting beside you lays his eyes on you. Inching away every time he tries to talk to you. 

“We’re leaving” there is no mistaking his voice, but it feels so foreign. You turn around, facing him. His unreadable eyes send a chill down your spine. You lift a brow in question.

“You’re drunk,” San shrugs. “I’m taking you back to the hotel” 

Who does he think he is? Looking down at you from his high horse of righteousness, worrying about you like he cared. You scoff. 

“‘M not and you most definitely aren’t” you turn around in your seat, facing away from him. 

“Are too, come on” San’s hand reaches for your arm, turning you back around and trying to safely get you off the stool. 

“And what’s it to you?” you finally snap, shrugging him off. “You haven’t spoken more than two words to me the whole trip, why do you care now?” 

Despite your resolution not to cry, or not to care, you feel tears stinging in your eyes. So much for not letting him phase you.

“Yeah, let go man” all hopes of getting out of this situation are ruined the second the guy sitting beside you speaks. You roll your eyes, bracing for what’s to come and cursing yourself for not leaving the bar after getting your drink. “Who are you to ruin their fun?” 

“I’m their boyfriend”

Of course. 

But you can’t deny that the way he says it - like he very much believes it - moves something inside you. 

San doesn't waste any time and doesn’t wait for a reply. His fingers wrap around your wrist delicately, making goosebumps cover your skin. His hold is familiar, warm and it makes you feel like crying. Too stunned to speak, you let him carry you through the stuffy club, not even bothering to apologize to the people you bumped into. 

It takes way longer than you’d like to get out of the club, and the lump in your throat is getting harder to ignore by the second. Suddenly, you don’t feel like blaming San all that much for ignoring you. 

Once the cold air of the night hits you, you free yourself from his firm grasp. San stops dead in his tracks, looking at you. You can’t do this right now. You worked so hard to keep things civil between you two, you can’t fight with him on Wooyoung’s day. Knowing that one more word from him would break you. You take a deep breath. 

“You just had to do that, didn’t you?” Clearly, it didn’t work.

“And here I was, thinking I was going to get a thank you” 

You point a finger at his chest. “I can handle my own, San” and there it is, that look on his face that tells you he knows better. He knows you. And for a moment, you hate that he’s right. For a moment, you hate him for fucking with your head. “And you know perfectly well what I’m talking about” 

“Do I?” 

“What do you want me to tell you, San? You’ve been acting all distant and righteous these past couple of days, and then you pull this stunt?” This is most certainly a conversation you don’t want to have in the middle of the street, but oh well. “You could’ve just asked if I wanted a ride back to the hotel, there was no need for all that”

A gust of wind blows by, making you shiver. When San moves closer, all traces of his anger gone, you stand still, holding your breath. Dumbstruck, you follow his every movement. San peels his jacket off, only to drape it over your shoulders. Something he’s done a million times before. A melancholy so strong pulls at your heartstrings. You didn’t think he noticed. His touch lingers a second too long, eyes looking into yours as if asking if what he just did was alright. 

“Thanks” you mumble, watching him step back. The warmth melts your anger away as much as it messes with your head. You don’t like how the air shifts and becomes heavy with the weight of words left unsaid. 

But what would you even tell him? That, apparently, for how much you tried, you can't move on? That he lingers in your mind, in your heart, your apartment. That he’s still all over you, and you don’t know how to shrug him off – you aren’t even sure if you want to. 

“I miss you” the words leave your lips before you have a chance to stop them. You definitely shouldn’t have drunk tonight. San’s eyes are on you in a split second, but yours stay focused on the pavement. You can feel his gaze putting you on the spot, begging you to say more. You don’t.

“Me too” he speaks so quietly that his words almost get lost in the night. 

San waves a taxi over and helps you in. The whole ride back is quiet; you’re a second away from bursting into tears, having finally realized the extent of your feelings for San. Only cursing Wooyoung for being right keeps you in one piece until you reach the door to your room. 

You go to unlock it and turn around to give him his jacket back. Not being surrounded by his scent sends your heart to your feet. You can’t believe all the work you did not to feel like this anymore has gone to shit. 

“Thank you,” you say once more, before turning to step into your dark room so you can cry to your heart’s content and pretend none of this happened in the morning. 

San’s hand grips yours, stopping you in your tracks. When he whispers your name, you’re done for. One second you’re about to hide in your room and the other he’s turning you to him. You can see how he's looking for the words to say. You know that expression all too well, you recognize the furrow of his brow. Then e pulls you closer and the breath gets knocked out of your lungs. He’s closer than he’s ever been in a year and pressed as you are against his chest, you’re afraid he might hear the way your heart is furiously beating. 

His sorry eyes are scanning every inch of your face, or so you think, blinking back tears. Under his gaze, you’re burning. Because you want him to let you go and hold you closer at the same time. His hands on your hips are still delicate, you can break free at any time, but you’re not sure you want to. 

Your breath hitches when his forehead connects to yours, you can’t breathe, you can’t think-

And then he’s kissing you, and it’s like coming home. It tastes sweet like your drink and bitter like the whiskey on his tongue. You’re unsure if the saltiness is from your tears or his. It’s familiar and your gut tells you that it’s so right, so good that you push yourself closer, lose yourself in him. San’s hold on you is almost bruising, and he’s kissing you like you’re the only thing he’s ever known. Like he used to when he wanted to show you just how much he loved you-

You push away from him like you’ve been stunned. His confused eyes search your face, asking what’s wrong. You clear your voice, but no words leave your mouth. So, when he calls your name with a voice so fragile that it makes you shiver, it’s all you can do to bid him goodnight and finally lock yourself in your room. 

Your lips are still tingling, you still feel San’s mouth on yours. In the darkness, a sob wrecks you. You’re supposed to be over him. You spent so much time trying to be. Your heart shouldn’t be breaking this way; for the time you lost trying to forget him, for how all your efforts were in vain.

“Let me in” though muffled by the door, his voice makes you jump. “Please”

Another loud sob escapes you, and you curse yourself for not stepping away from the entrance. Of course, he’d stay. Of course, he’d hear. Well, you can’t run now, can you? 

When you open the door, San’s head shoots up. He goes to take a step but hesitates. You simply open the door wider, and he visibly relaxes. After letting him in, you close the door and turn on the lights. The silence is thick, and you almost can’t breathe. 

“I’m sorry” he starts, catching your attention. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have done a lot of things these past few days” despite your tears, you manage a scoff. 

“Why?” it’s all that leaves your lips, but you know he’s caught on. You’re met with silence. Disappointment spreads like wildfire in your heart. He doesn't even have an answer - you bitterly think.

“So you’ve got nothing to say for yourself?” you push, starting to feel the anger bubble up inside. “You know how hard I’ve tried to make this trip work for Wooyoung's sake? For all our friends' sake? So that they don’t have to walk on eggshells around us, or invite us out one at a time?”

“And I haven’t!?”

“Oh, don’t sound so surprised, San!” you take a step closer. “We were doing alright, why’d you have to go and act like you have a stick up your ass whenever I’m around? Wooyoung’s your best friend, for crying out loud!”

“Don’t act all high and mighty! Have you ever considered, hell, even ever stopped to think-”

“Have I?” oh, if he only knew. “Have I? All I ever do is think, San! You’ve haunted all of my what-ifs ever since we broke up. So you can’t go ahead and pull shit like this when I’ve been trying my damn best” 

Your voice is thick with emotion and your throat feels tight. The deafening silence that meets you makes your ears ring. San visibly deflates and the way he speaks is in open contrast to how you just did. 

“Would you keep trying?” you don’t remember the last time you heard him sound so small. Still, his eyes are so full of determination. 

“Why would I?” you ask, defeated. It’s like a flip switches inside him. 

“Because I love you! I still love you” 

Time stops, and for a moment nothing exists but you and your racing heart. It’s going so fast you fear it might beat out of your chest, or that he might hear it. It’s so loud that it rings in your ears. A surprised gasp escapes your lips: you understood perfectly fine, you just can’t believe the words he just so desperately uttered. 

“I’ve been in love with you longer than I can remember. I loved you when I thought I’d never get to tell you again. I loved you when loving you quietly and at a distance was all I could do, but it was alright as long as I got to love you”

“San…”

“I’m sorry for earlier. I’m sorry for these last couple of days. There’s no excuse, but I just…” he sighs, closing his eyes. You go to take another step, but all determination to do so dies when you see him produce a little velvet box from his pocket. Your breath hitches and a sigh of his name leaves you. “All I could think about leading up to this trip was our first anniversary. You remember how we joked about eloping in Las Vegas?”

It seems your tears won’t stop flowing. You can’t believe he remembers. It was such a small thing, it takes you a second to connect the dots. It was a comment thrown around, something you said to make him laugh. Though you remember thinking that if he’d asked, you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. 

“I’ve had this since then” hope sparks in your heart, though you’re not really sure you’re even breathing right now. 

“San-”

“Don’t. I know this is so incredibly stupid, I don’t even know why I brought this with me-”

“Ask me” finally, finally he looks up at you and there’s no doubt in your mind. You still love him, you always have. You always will. 

“What?”

“Choi San, ask me or I will” he’s blanking, frozen in his spot. So, you get down on one knee. His eyes widen and you hear sounds of protest. Suddenly it’s a race on who’s speaking first, both on your knees, face to face. You’re giggling like idiots, tears in your eyes. 

“I thought that I could manage life without you” he starts, and you let him intertwine your fingers. “I thought we could go back to being happy without being in love. That we’d be better at a distance, but I was so wrong. The only thing that matters is that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Fighting to make us work. I already made the mistake of giving you away once, I'll never make it again"

"Will you marry me?”

You waste no time in kissing him, big smiles barely making it a kiss, but you don’t care. You don’t care because San just asked you to marry him. Because he’s lifting you up and spinning you around and kissing you like he’ll die if he doesn’t. And for the first time in a while, you’re happy. So happy you could burst, laughing like you haven’t since you let him go. 

“Do you think we should go get married?” he asks, swaying you around in his arms. You stare up at him, snorting. 

“Maybe let’s wait till tomorrow, when our friends aren’t drunk off their faces, you know?” he chuckles, looking at you like you’re the only thing that could ever hold his attention. How could you ever convince yourself even for one second that you didn’t want to fight for him? 

bonus:

Yunho’s slowly munching on a croissant, head resting on Mingi’s shoulder – who’s barely awake. You fear Wooyoung’s not even on your same astral plane right now, forehead against the table and hand gripping a coffee cup for dear life. Yeosang’s head is thrown back against the wall, he’s sipping slowly at his own coffee. It almost makes you think that you and San walking hand in hand could go unnoticed. 

“Is that a ring?” you should’ve known Seonghwa’s sharp eyes wouldn’t miss it. After all, he’s the only one remotely awake. That, and he’s the only one not wearing sunglasses at the breakfast table. Lethargically, your friends’ faces emerge from behind the shades. Various sets of eyes squint in your direction as you come closer. 

“Holy fuck you got back together” surprisingly, the voice is Wooyoung’s, though he sounds exactly like he just came back from the dead. 

“Technically, we got engaged,” San points out. The words have barely left his mouth that suddenly his best friend is up and asking what, how, when, and why?! Eliciting various groans and shut the fuck ups. 

“My birthday wish came true!” he throws himself at you both, squeezing you in a hug. Over his shoulder, you look at Yeosang. Despite his tired face, he smiles at you. So do the rest of your friends.

“Alright so, wedding tonight before we leave?” Wooyoung smirks all too enthusiastically, and you hear Seonghwa mumble as long as we drink juice, eliciting a round of quiet laughs.