#ngl I’ve had an absolutely lovely one night stand and a horrible one that I cringe to think about to this day

[angel-in-your-basement]

Just a reminder that aftercare can mean the difference between someone feeling safe, satisfied and sexy after a scene, and feeling shamed, gross and at worst, traumatized. Sex is a vulnerable thing for everyone, and no matter how casual, people deserve respect before, during and after. Dom or sub, kinky or not, take good care of your partners! The emotions are more important than the sex.

[hamaon]

Okay I know I already asked but if you feel like allowing another request, Lan Xichen?

Lan Xichen, oh Lan Xichen.

How I feel about this character No thoughts, feelings only. Flute swirl cute. Fingers? Cute. Gnawable. So elegant and conducts himself so gracefully. What a good boy. What a joy to the eye. Someone should kiss him a lot.

He’s so consciously good to everyone all the time. He’s so invested in being fair and he thinks about the world and how people and he himself relates to it so much. (“If there was no one but you in this world, Young Master Wei, you could do anything at all you wanted, but no man’s an island and we live in a society.”)

Massively fucked up about him always. It’s so fucking unfair. It’s, oh no. Canon gives him no path to recovery. I talked about cathartic negative emotions before, but this one feels too raw. From a shipping perspective it is a pretty satisfying note to end on ngl, but my mind still shies away from such total devastation. I can handle Jin Guangyao passing away, apparently, but letting myself think about Lan Xichen having to deal with the circumstances that led to that for the rest of his life is how I end up with fifty bazillion post-canon scenarios where there’s some closure because fuck that, actually.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Just the one guy. This is now a xiyao free space.

People have probably pointed this out before, but it really struck me the other day that the clothes Jin Guangyao is wearing when he first gets legitimized have the Jin sigil on the damn shoulder area like everyone was wearing as wee baby students during the Cloud Recesses lectures. During those episodes post-Sunshot, he’s not even a proper Jin. He’s a Jin pupil. He’s on PROBATION.

Meanwhile Lan Xichen is wearing the biggest, fanciest clothes he does in the show (I guess you could make an argument for the costume in the Empathy flashback), this is absolutely a man with power. Put them next to each other and look at them for a little while and you have like the largest possible gap in social standing they can have while being recognized gentry.

And this discrepancy was all that I could concentrate on while watching the episodes with that one Jin gathering where Wei Wuxian downs Lan Wangji’s drink and throws his weight around. Lan Xichen waits for the cup-slapping feat. Jin Guangshan to be over and quickly goes through the motions with the end-of-event niceties as a Lan representative and then, in his heavy-ass robe, hurries after just-an-intern Jin Guangyao like wait honey here’s a napkin (handkerchief) from my purse (sleeve) and oh man, he does not personally experience the person that is Jin Guangyao in terms of their social standing.

...Then they stand shoulder-to-shoulder in these fits in later episodes/scenes and pass opinions back and forth without either one being a particularly dominant voice in the conversation, generally sharing an outlook. Cute.

...End of xiyao free space.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Wei Wuxian! Okay, not really, but I do find all of their scenes together and their varying levels of tensity entertaining. I love Lan Xichen’s moments of gentle trolling in the show, whether or not they’re out of any particular personal fondness. Wei Wuxian shows a certain carefulness around Lan Xichen, I think. It’s a fascinating relationship in all of its iterations.

I should answer Lan Wangji, probably, in that he’s the actually close non-Jin Guangyao relationship Lan Xichen has that I’m most about but, hm. You know how sometimes people ship things in a way where [character A] is the one they’re actually invested in, and [character B] is merely a convenient vessel to make whatever they want to happen with [character A] happen? That’s pretty similar to my feelings on the twin jades.

I like Lan Xichen’s devotion to his brother, and how you can read a whole lot personal sacrifice into it (you will never convince me that the baby brother wasn’t their mother’s darling), but that’s about Lan Xichen, not the both of them. The small gestures of concern from Lan Wangji’s side do make me feel some emotion about them as a unit, but it’s, as has been pointed out, a very uneven relationship. That’s not really a bad thing, and it’s really what you would expect considering everything from their birth order to their family situation, but I don’t feel particularly strongly about Lan Wangji, who necessarily is the main focus both in canon and fandom because of that, so yeah.

My unpopular opinion about this character I suppose there are the usual opinions regarding ignorance, intelligence and passivity. That last one is what I dislike personally; basically every scene Lan Xichen is in he is doing some sort of complex situation management. Unfortunate that a character so resistant to the textual bad guy of the story (mob mentality lol) is such a joke to the fans at times.

However, I’m not here to talk about any of that. I’m here to talk about Lan Xichen and force! Used against people, but also in general. Because I’ve often seen expressed the wish that he should “get” to kick ass more and oh man, I don’t think Lan Xichen should fight, not more.

Okay, let me back up a little, it’s not that it’s a horrible thing that he, like, was very effective and active in a war most of the cast fought in, or goes on night hunts occasionally. But it doesn’t seem like it’s of a particular interest to him, either.

There’s this promo picture for the Untamed that I love where all the other Lan are posing with their swords (not Lan Yi, we’re not counting Lan Yi), but Lan Xichen’s is nowhere in sight and he has his flute, instead. It’s not that it’s not a weapon, also, but it’s so much more than that, and even when wielded as one it has a much wider variety of uses than purely destructive ones. The Lan have their music, but Lan Xichen seems particularly associated with his instrument over his sword.

Or take the live action scene where he blocks Nie Mingjue and people love to focus on that one part, but he... never draws the blade, the scene starts with him standing to the side, because he understands that it would be better if the two more relevant parties in this conflict managed to sort their differences organically between themselves, and ends with him standing aside again, because Meng Yao indicates he wants to take the lead. The bulk of the defending/persuading he’s doing is purely verbal (and eloquent!) and he raises his scabbard only when it’s literally the one thing that’s stopping Meng Yao from being cut in half. It’s the final option.

I like it when characters have “obvious” in-born traits (big, strong) that would seem to lead them down a certain path, but do not in fact suit them particularly well in reality, and when they are allowed to be recognized for qualities they themselves feel more connected to, which to me in Lan Xichen’s case is diplomacy and de-escalation. It can be an interesting reminder every now and then that, yeah, he could probably take control of a scene within seconds if he felt like it, but really only because it underlines how he’s... not doing that. When Zewu-jun has to actually go on the offensive, it feels like a loss. That’s not what this person is here for, fundamentally.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon The eyes-closing thing is nice, it says to me that he often finds the goings-on stressful, and that the way he recharges is by checking out for a moment. He’s worked hard, he should get to do that! Permanently. Let Lan Xichen walk out of society for good.

...Oh no, he kind of did.

[riskeith]

oo.. a read more.. how mysterious ;)

shsjjdhdjf hi! it’s pretty and fluffy yes ! some of it have melted away though sadly.. 🥺 how are you? hope your day has been amazing <333

i tried to go to dragonspine last night because albedo’s quest opened up for me a while back and it took me there and i failed like two seconds after so i just went to bed all angry shekdhskdbncj i kept thinking about how easy it would be if you had diluc, xiangling or klee on your team since they do ‘big’ fire attacks that would help with the frost... :(

have you decided that you want to build your whole team or just focus on 1-2 characters? i’ve heard some people say that it’s better to do just 1-2 but i’m hesitant over it... they’re your main team for a reason you want them all to be reliable yk..?

“LEGEND OF KORRA?” omg..... fun fact the first klance fic i ever wrote (never released it though since its still unfinished hskshdj) was a klance lok au! imagine the boys as rival probenders... 🥴 lance waterbender... keith firebender..... 🥵 but thank goodness you decided to give it a shot sjdkfjdk look where it lead us.

i meant that exactly! that’s not negative that’s just life because same here. i ended up just deleting everything when i started uni (the only thing i have left is tumblr) because it’s kind of hard keeping up with fandoms and stuff when the weight of the world is on your shoulders ... :/ even lost contact with practically all my internet friends lmao sheesh. do you still find it difficult to find motivation to write n stuff? (this is such a heavy topic soz)

us on our date.... chillin... suddenly hilichurls attack. incredibly romantic.... <3333 venti to your xiao i wish!!!!! #bringventiback2k21pls 🥺.. dude you reminded me!!!! i was on ao3 the other day (as one usually is) and did you know there are so many genshin fics? i was SO surprised?? kind of fun tho, have you checked them out?

no need to promise!! but you have my undying support <333

ohhh?? you wouldn’t? i mean your reasoning is absolutely valid!! the end was most definitely very disheartening in so many ways lol.... i probably would still tbh i just miss them a lot. like getting a chance to see lance and keith again with the same voice actors n everything??? i think i’d do anything for that LMAO when it comes to story though i have no idea... not really sure what they could do with it. maybe something with lotor?

YOU WATCHED SPIRITED AWAY????!!!?!? BABY I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! i’m so so so so so glad you like it oh my gooooood this is the best news ever <333333333333333333 i take it you’re now finished with it; what did you think? 🥺 also howl’s... girl my heart is soaring. i just know you’re gonna enjoy it so much!! aaaaah, let me know when you check it out <3333

icb you’re teasing me like this....,,..... ‘just wait until you read the last section’ i’ll just go die then. that was already so beautiful and there’s more??????? let me go back to my original roots and ask; hand in marriage? 🥺💍 multiverse.... i have questions.... is it like, a one shot for each or is it like.. jumping between the universes? 🥺

stay safe, stay healthy mwah!! 🥰

hiyaaaa~

awww does snow not stay for long where you are? or is it not cold/thick enough to stay 😔 and i’m good! didn’t get as much done as i wanted but tomorrow certainly.. (i say every day FHSKFSD) hope yours is amazing as well <3 :*

FHSDKJFHSDKFHSJD omg ripppp im sorry 😭 but one day!!!! you will conquer dragonspine i can feel it. oooo wait do you not have xiangling yet? :o and also you mentioning diluc reminds me of this tweet i saw here, maybe he isn’t actually optimal for that enviroment AHAHA

yeah i agree with you! I kinda focus on building the traveller most bc i use him a lot of the time, but recently i’ve been trynna build everyone else up too and balance them out. like you said we want them all reliable and they all have different uses and functions, so.

PRO!!! BENDERS!!!!!!!!! omg wait were they gonna be... forced to work on the same team?? 🤪🥵 either way S tier concept. but also um excuse me?? you write fic too?!?!?! “first klance fic i ever wrote” implying there are more??? maybe published ones??????????? i won’t ask for links in case it like outs you LOL but omg??? excuse me?? how is this the first time i’ve heard about it >:(

shit that sucks :(( ugh im sorry you felt the need to do that! :( is it also kinda freeing and relaxing tho? that you’re not involved or have any connections or obligations.. idk sometimes all that overwhelmes me too. sometimes i have a really hard time writing yeah, but that’s also due to various other reasons unrelated to school. like twice a month i tell my friends i’ll quit FHSJFKDSHK but i never do lollll and then sometimes i’ll just get hit with such an intense urge to write and then im like?? i was so stupid for thinking otherwise? (and no worries at alll <3)

FJHSDKFS couples that fight together stay together 🤪 i think that was in one of my todobaku? fics LOL. okay but i saw some leaks (which i don’t condone but welp) suggesting that maybe... venti would return 2 banners after xiao or something so hopefully!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was looking at tier lists too and he was really high up so now im like fuuuuck maybe i can’t spend on my primogems for xiao i’ll have to save again FHSDKJFSD. ngl i was pretty surprised to see so many fics too! but nah i haven’t really read anything, hbu? also did you know there’s an official genshin impact webtoon? i haven’t read it but i am considering itttt

<33333333

AHAH yeah that’s fair tho. i think s8 ruined it so much for me that anything else would make me feel empty sighhhhh. but i was also gonna say something about lotor! honestly i feel like if they did make something else, it’d be a prequel or something, maybe even the prior paladins, so we wouldn’t even get to see klance at all fhkfhsksd.

i really liked it!! not sure if it was bc i zoned out towards the end tho, but i felt like the ending came pretty quickly? or maybe i was just so immersed i didn’t want it to end... ahaha. but i still stand by the fact i love haku sm..... i think i’ll watch howl’s tomorrow! i considered starting it tonight but i still wanna soak in spirited away for a bit so... we shall see <3 but ofc i’ll def let you know all my thoughts when i do

YOU ALREADY HAVE MY HAND BOO!!! you have my whole heart too just take it i’m giving it to you 😩❤👐. it’s one shot for each! I was actually considering making it a multichap with each chap as a new universe, but i have a horrible track record with those and idk that i could make each universe long enough fhdkfjs. ugh honestly i’m tempted to just like send you what i currently have anyway bc i honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish it fhskdf but there are some good moments in there that deserve to be Seen..

thank you!! you too, hope you’re all nice and warm 😘🤩

[imaginedisish]

Heroes (Stefan Butler x Reader) (Bandersnatch)

A/N: Alrighty...here it is...the long awaited Stefan x Reader fic...the last imagine of the weekend! I LOVE DAVID BOWIE SO AN ANON REQUESTED THIS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED NGL. Also, I just wanted to thank everyone for the love so far. I’ve written fanfics before, but never like this. I don’t feel forced to put out things…and I feel much better getting requests as opposed to having to think of everything on my own. Tumblr has a much different vibe than fanfic.net and wattpad, and I love it sooooo much. Stefan x Reader was heavily requested so I figured I needed to feed da people. While I’m super into writing for Bandersnatch, and love writing for Bandersnatch the most, my next two fics will most likely be two anon requests: one  about Donnie Darko, and another about Alex Turner. (DON’T WORRY MY FELLOW BANDERSNATCH LOVERS, I’LL WRITE HEAD CANONS TO KEEP YOU ALIVE…and i have an idea for my first multi-part Bandersnatch fic sooo…get ready for a “BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGE”….) For now…enjoy this Stefan x Reader imagine, guys…

Summary: Your an art student, and you have chosen to paint a portrait of Bowie for your final project. However, things go horribly wrong…that is until Stefan is there to help :)

Warnings: Panic attacks, minimal to medium angst, lots of language, fluff!

Word Count: 1,688 

Your brush dances ever so carefully across the bright, white canvas. David Bowie’s “Heroes” blasts throughout your flat. 

Outside your window, the rest of South London decided it was time to turn in for the night. You imagine small children crawling into bed, begging their mothers or fathers for one more story…just one more. 

But not you, you wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Your eyes struggled to stay open as you began to add more shading to your portrait of David Bowie.

You fell in love with Bowie’s music and his entirely fantastical persona at a young age. Maybe it was his voice, or his lyrics, or perhaps his message of artistic integrity and being yourself regardless of what others say that made you so obsessed with the Starman. 

Regardless of what exactly made you love Bowie, he was the reason you had the confidence to make your move to the UK. He was the reason you decided to apply to art school in the first place. 

So, when your professor announced that your final project of the year would be a portrait of someone that has impacted your life greatly, Bowie instantly came to mind. 

Without Bowie, where the hell would you be? You most likely would be back in the States, going to a university you had no interest in, pursuing a major you hated, in a relationship with a boy you could never love as much as you love…him. 

Oh yes, him. Stefan Butler. Without Bowie, you couldn’t have ever met Stefan. He was your Moonage Daydream, your Modern Love, he was yours. He was so kind and soft and caring. 

When Stefan needs you, you’re there in an instant. He needs you quite often, to be completely honest, but you never mind. You understand that his past traumas plague him, and you want to help him more than anything else in the world. And, naturally, without Bowie, you would never be able to do so. You owed so much to that magnificently talented man. 

And yet this painting of him was slowly becoming a pain in the ass. 

I need to get this done, You remind yourself. Tomorrow is just hours away. 

Unfortunately, you feel as though your hours of painting have led to absolutely nothing. You step back from the painting in an attempt to see it better. However, the more you step back, the more wrong things seem to be. 

“This…this just isn’t right,” you mutter under you breath. A feeling of distress creeps under your skin and eventually pushes itself into every part of your body. You reach for the grey paint, and apply it forcefully to where you think you need it. 

You don’t realize it isn’t actually grey paint until you remove the brush from the canvas. 

“What the fuck?” Now you’re fuming with anger. “This can’t be happening…no no no no no!” You fall to the ground sobbing, your head smashing into your hands. 

A large, vibrant, pink slash of paint displays itself in the middle of your grey, “Heroes” album cover painting. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go, and you know that. You simply sob on the floor of your flat, as the creativity you had earlier in the day leaves, and replaces itself with total and utter sadness and disappointment. 

Then, for some reason, you decide to look over to the alarm clock next to your brass, queen bed.

2:00 am

“Oh no, god no!” You shout, expecting your neighbors to be at your door any second now to complain about all the noise. 

Your throat quickly begins to close up, and your heart beats out of your chest. You haven’t had a panic attack since you left the States, but the feeling was familiar nonetheless. You try to scream, but you just can’t. 

A million thoughts race around your mind at once. Every bad experience, relationship, argument, and situation you’ve ever gone been in or gone through resurface in your mind. You simply don’t know how much you can endure before you fall apart, or worse…

“No, no I can’t think like that, I just can’t,” you whisper to yourself.

Before your old, depressive thoughts begin to come back to haunt you, you reach for your phone, and dial the number you know will fix everything.

“(Y/N)? It’s two in the morning, is everything all right?” Stefan’s voice is hurried and panicked. He knows something is wrong. 

“I fucked up, Stefan, so terribly terribly bad,” You’re voice is unsteady and hoarse. You struggle to get your words out as you sob to Stefan.

“(Y/N) tell me what happened.” Stefan was beyond worried now. 

“It-it’s my p-painting. I-,” you take a deep breath before continuing, “I n-need you, n-now.” You sniffle audibly. 

“H-hold tight, k-keep breathing. I’m on m-my way.” Stefan hangs up. You try to do as he says, but it’s no use. You feel your depressive, almost suicidal thoughts begin to push through the barriers you worked so hard to put up. 

No, stopping thinking like that! You think to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut in attempt to free yourself from your intrusive thoughts. You throw your head back into your hands. 

Less than five minutes pass by, when a soft knock echoes through your studio flat. 

“C-come i-in,” you croak. Stefan slowly pushes the door open. His fluffy brown hair is a mess, and his dark circles highlight the emerald-ness of his wide, puppy dog eyes. He’s wearing black shorts and a baggy black sweatshirt. His long, bright yellow socks pop out against his black converse. 

You obviously woke him up, and now you felt like you were being a bothersome girlfriend. You are the one who is supposed to help him. It isn’t supposed to be the other way around. Guilt begins to fill your stomach. 

“(Y/N), m-my god,” he paused, looking at your beet red face and puffy eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks. He rushes over to you, and holds you tightly in his arms. “I’m here now, let it out, it-it’s okay.” 

You sob violently into his chest. You don’t know what else to do. In fact, you realize there is literally nothing else you can do. 

You separate from him for a moment, and nod towards your now adulterated painting. 

“L-look at it. I’m going to fail, Stefan. It’s due tomorrow. It’s worth 70% of my final grade and I’m going to fail,” You say in a soft, factual whisper. He shakes his head. 

“I see nothing but amazing artwork, (Y/N),” Stefan replies. You grow angry again. 

He’s just lying to you, you think to yourself. It’s absolute shit! Anyone could see that. Yell at him, scream!

“Bullshit!” You cry out in a rage, scooting away from him and getting up. You want to punch something, a wall maybe. 

“(Y/N), s-stop,” Stefan pleads softly, getting up from the floor as well. You ignore him, and start to pace the floor. You can’t stand yourself now. Your hands begin to shake. You wish everything would just disappear. 

“Fucking hell I hate thi-,”

“I said STOP!” Stefan screams this time, cutting you off. Stefan was usually so soft, so timid. In this moment, he was the opposite. 

You stare at him with wide eyes. He nervously reaches up to pull on his ear lobe. His emerald eyes become glossy. 

“I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t m-mean t-to-,” Stefan starts to apologize, but you quickly cut him off. 

“No, n-no I am. You were just trying to help and I screamed at you. I’m just so sor-,” the second half of your “sorry” is muffled into Stefan’s chest as he rushes towards you and captures you in his arms.

He smells like peppermint and roses. His scent relaxes you and you practically fall limp in his embrace. He kisses your forehead lightly, and rubs your back gently. You stay that way for what feels like hours, even though it was most likely only a few minutes. 

“We can figure this out, things are going to be fine, I’m going to help you,” Stefan coos in your ear. You melt to the sound his voice. 

Feeling much more calm now, you and Stefan separate. Stefan makes his way over to the painting staring at it for a few seconds. 

“Aladdin Sane,” is all that comes out of Stefan’s mouth. 

“Hmm? What about it?” You weren’t sure what he meant. 

“The pink streak it reminds me of ‘Aladdin Sane' record cover,” Stefan states rather factually. 

Then, it hits you. 

“Stefan, you’re a genius! An absolute genius!” You scream, but happily this time. You run over to him, cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a kiss.

“I should be a genius more often then,” Stefan says smiling widely, blushing intensely. 

Stefan stays with you as you continue your painting, watching you, making sure you don’t overwork yourself. He checks in with you every now and again to see if everything is okay. Of course, now that he was with you, everything was completely fine. Your confidence and inspiration was back. 

Around four in the morning, the painting is finally complete. You step back and smile as Stefan joins you by your side. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. 

“Its absolutely, stunning, (Y/N),” Stefan says, his eyes twinkling even in the low, poor lighting of your flat. 

The painting was a fuse of the “Aladdin Sane” and “Heroes” album covers. You felt fulfilled and happy with your work, and it was all thanks to Stefan, your hero. 

“I love you so much,” Stefan says, pulling you closer to him. 

“I love you more,” You say in return. 

Stefan simply shakes his head.

“Impossible. It would be impossible even in an alternate timeline, in-, in an alternate universe, (Y/N). That is infinitely and eternally impossible.”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

32 and 33 from the prompt list with hk400? I think it fits with him.

 Ngl every time an HK400 request pops up in my inbox my heart goes 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕. I think it’s safe to say that he’s one of my top 6 favorite NPC androids ever (the others are Daniel, Simon, Ralph, and Rupert) ^w^

But yes these prompts absolutely fit him! 

32. “You deserve to know what love can feel like.”33. “Nothing could ever make me hate you.”

You ventured into the dark, damp, and dusty attic, your footsteps causing the worn floorboards to creak with every little movement you made.

Least to say, the creepy mannequins, spider webs, and white shredded sheets made this place look like a scene straight out of a horror movie. But you were brave enough to explore it in hopes of finding the android that had ran up here, since you were led by traces of blue and red blood.

“Mike? You here?”

To make a long story short, you had stopped by Carlos’ house to drop off a package, although you ended up abandoning it when your nose picked up the stench of Death itself coming from within.

Sure enough, when you had entered, you were met with the corpse of the man slumped against the wall, the words “I AM ALIVE” written in his blood, along with a bloody knife that laid not too far from him. There was also a bat in the kitchen, too, which was stained in Thirium, along with a knocked over chair. 

It didn’t take a genius to piece it all together and realize that Carlos had attacked Mike and he fought back in self-defense. But you knew if you called the cops, they’d find the HK400 and destroy him, so you wanted to search for him and bring him far away from here before the neighbors suspected something.

As you wedged yourself between a shelf and a slanted wooden pillar, you could see the glow of a red LED pulsating in the darkness. And only when you got through the gap was when you saw him.

Standing there, the moonlight filtering through one of the windows casting a slight glow on him, was a bloodied, petrified Mike with horribly scarred-up arms, marred in sparks, Thirium, and cigarette burns.

“Mike..? Oh my God..” You mumbled, stopping dead in your tracks as you looked him up and down. Of course, you knew that his owner never treated him kindly…but you didn’t know he was suffering this much. “Wh-What did he do to you?”

His lips trembled slightly as he stared at you, at first unable to form a coherent sentence. “H-He…was gonna kill me, [y/n]. I had to defend myself a-and..and-”

“Shh..It’s gonna be okay,” you soothed, reaching a hand out to him, only for him to flinch away.

“P-Please don’t hate me…I just..I-I was so scared that I was gonna die!”

Your heart broke as he said those words, and you recoiled your hand. This attack must have turned him deviant, but then again..such a traumatic experience was bound to wake up any android for that matter. 

“Mike. Nothing could ever make me hate you.”

His LED flickered to yellow now, although it still blinked red every few seconds or so, but he did seem calmer now.

With a comforting smile, you took a step closer to him, watching his movements carefully. “I wanna get you out of here. I’ll even let you stay at my place, okay? I’m not gonna turn you in or anything like that. You trust me, right?”

Mike remained silent and tense. He did relax his shoulders a bit, though, and his LED gradually turned to blue as he saw you offer your hand once more. Finally, he nodded slowly and grasped it with his own hand that was clean of blood.

“O-Okay..but…I need something from the bathroom first.”…….

It’s been several weeks since that night you found the HK400 hiding in the attic. And since then you’ve been caring for him in your apartment along the outskirts of Detroit.

But even though he’s known you for quite some time, he’s become rather skittish and would always do everything you asked of him without hesitation. He’d also scribble the words “RA9″ on the walls of his new bedroom, although he was rather cryptic about the meaning of it, talking about it like it was some savior or god.

You made note to do some research later on.…..

One evening, you returned home to see Mike making some adjustments to the statuette he had carved back at his former abuser’s house. Considering he was an android made to mostly clean and cook, you were surprised by his artistic abilities.

Perhaps, like many humans who have been through something traumatic, it was a hobby he took up as a way to cope with the stress and anxiety. Maybe that’s why he looked to this “RA9″, too.

He was wearing a hoodie you lent him. Since you didn’t have the money to replace or repair his heavily damaged arms, you figured he could at least use the sleeves to cover them up so he didn’t have to look at them every day and be reminded of the torture he went through.

“Hey. I’m back.”

He perked up, giving you a tiny nod of acknowledgement, before he went back to brushing the wooden shavings off the sculpture. But he paused for a moment, his gaze seemingly bleak.

“Mike?” You sat beside him. “You okay?”

“….I-I don’t know..” The HK400 set down the statuette and the mini knife, wrapping his arms around himself. “But…e-ever since you took me in I..I felt a new emotion that’s just so..foreign to me.” He put a hand to his chest, before looking at you. “Whenever I see you I just…have this urge to protect you and care for you, just as you have done for me. I feel it every single day and night.”

It took you a second or two for your brain to finally register what “emotion” he was experiencing for the first time. You smiled softly and shifted closer to him, putting a gentle hand on his knee. “I think..you’re feeling love, Mike.”

“..love?” He looked up the definition, the words appearing in his vision, although they quickly dispersed as he shook his head. “No..that..that can’t be right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I-I…I can’t…I…don’t deserve….” Much like that fateful night, his words were all jumbled up. “I-I’ve never….”

But you knew what he really wanted to say.

“You deserve to know what love can feel like.” You gently took one of his scarred hands, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles, before you applied a tender kiss to one of the cuts he had there. “If anyone deserves to know…it’s you.”

He just froze in shock at the gesture, stunned, although his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But I..I killed a human in cold blood. I’m a murderer…”

“You fought back against an asshole who beat you every day,” you corrected. “Some humans might call it murder, but I see it as self-defense. Besides..I don’t think a “murderer” would allow me to get this close to them, right?”

Mike gazed at you, opening his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t find any fault in your argument.

Just as he closed it, though, a small whimper escaped his lips, and you took that as your cue to comfort him. So you carefully wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close, kissing his LED, which lit up bright blue in response.

He hugged your waist, emitting shaky breaths that indicated he was starting to sob. “I-I love you, [y/n]. Please never leave m-me..”

“I love you, too, Mikey.” With a smile you held him tight, sighing softly. “I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

[theskoomacat]

Ngfl I miss Crimea to death. My parents used to send me there with grandma every summer when i was a kid and I remember the latest trips with endless tenderness, but after the annexion everything sucks and mom says she’ll disown me if go there and i believe her. (i’ll still sneak in someday if I ever have the money and an opportunity.)

Me waxing a little poetic, #animal death mention and lots of screenshots hidden under the cut

My best memories are about two places and a handful of years. I might have talked about it already but anyway. One year I went with a school group organized by my school’s history teacher (not the one who taught our class, but a more clownish one) to a Scythian archeological dig site in Crimea (pic 1, green circle). (i’m going to use mostly yandex maps screens bc google has worse photos.) Funnily, it turned out to be right next to where I’ve been vacationing with grandma a week prior.

Pic 2 - aerial view of the dig site. The green area is where they’ve dug out a lil Scythian settlement and then built sandstone huts in the leftover pit, the red arrow points to the museum where they put some of the dug out stuff and the light blue area ~is where they were digging out a keep when I was there.

It was fantastic bc it was basically my first getaway from parents - there were still adults around but it wasn’t the same, I felt free and rolled up high my tight black jeans bc I thought it was cool and no one could stop me. It was kind of hilarious that I had expected that we’d be allowed to do Real Archeological Stuff (tm) but instead we, whose parents paid for this trip, were forced to go and dig up coarse turf every day instead (it was hot but ngl i loved shoveling away anyway). Only once we’ve managed to get to the WW2 layer and found some empty shells before the digging spot was taken from us, meanwhile I’ve stolen a vertebra with an artificial hole that after a trip to the museum turned out to be a weight for a loom (although totally out of its age layer so apparently not dateable and not valuable).

So we lived in a hole, I routinely had to carry out large spiders out of our hut, we went to historical tours around Crimea and had to suffer through boring films the history teacher made us watch - although after one we went out and the night skies were clearer than ever and me and some other kids laid down on some benches and talked while dozens of shooting stars burned above us, it was absolutely magical.

Pic 3 - red arrow is how far we had to walk to the beach (very hot, pretty unpleasant 1 km), green - me and grandma have lived not far in that direction. The beach and the water there kinda sucked but the teacher couldn’t stop us from frolicking in high waves and there was also a magical occurrence when suddenly the entire beach was overtaken by a myriad of ladybugs! They were everywhere for like 5 minutes and then fled off. I saved some of them that got stuck in the water.

Next year I also went to the same camp, I’m not sure which of the things I’ve mentioned happened the first or the second time around but I can surely say that Each year we had to go to Chersonesus (pic 4, left; behold, Greek Rocks) and it was a Horrible. Hot. Hell. rendered useless by the fact that I’ve been to it a year before with my parents.

BUT! After it each time we went to the Balaklava bay (pic 4, right; yes, that Balaklava) and swam in its crystal clear blue water. The only reason I agreed to go to Chersonesus for the 3d time.

~

So around this time (a year later? or the same year i went to the camp for the 2d time?) we vacationed in a pretty nearby place with grandma. I was sure it was Very close to the dig site until I did this “research” but it was not that close - pic 1, red circle. Same shoreline but kilometers to the south. We stayed in one sanatorium one year and then in a neighbouring one next year.

Pic 5 - we resided around here. Many Many other sanatoriums and hotels around and a village to the north.

There are only two things I remember about this place. Idk how but grandma let me walk anywhere I wanted alone (well, didn’t manage to stop me, I just didn’t tell her where I really went but she always could reach me on my phone) but I’ve explored the entire neughbouring area (where I could physically go, in many places you need a paper that you live in that sanatorium to access its territory) and in one park in the dark found a quite big hedgehog. I couldn’t interact with it as it’s just kinda curled up but it was cute nonetheless.

The other thing was Big. I walked along the shore every day while grandma was sleeping after the midday meal. Not that far at first but further and further every day, right along the edge of the sea. I started doing this during year 1 and was absolutely ecstatic to learn that we were going to the same place next year and I could continue Forrest Gumping.

So initially I went south (pic 6, red arrow). After the sanatoriums end it’s just you, kinda sharp rocks under your feet (I told myself this was free hours-long massage, idk if it really did me any good but I am used to almost any terrain now), a high sand cliff on your left, the sea on your right and a handful of nudists. Check out this pic (7) of how visible the spots where you can climb/go down the cliff are. I did that only once bc that cliff sucked a lot but it let me steal some grain from the field, it was very tasty.

So I could be mistaken but I think I’ve managed to reach the red ? (pic 6) once during year 2 in all my travels here - ~5,5 kilometers away from home (11 with the way back). The coastline looks pretty straight from above but from the perspective of the home point and even the midway point it looked like a sharp arc in this direction so every day I had to tell myself that I would never reach its end and look around that corner with the time I had and that that was okay.

Also at some point during year 2 I started going north, too, along the village (pic 6, green arrow). Those were heavily populated areas ofc, but it was still pleasant despite the drunks. Some shore parts were inaccessible so I had to turn to the village and I’ve definitely reached the green ! (pic 6). There was magic moment #??? - I was standing in the middle of some dry wild field and suddenly everything got covered by a dense fog cloud. I couldn’t see around me, I could barely see the sky. It passed pretty fast but it was still awesome.

I can’t pinpoint how far I’ve gone this way - I remember reaching some kind of a dam/water lock-looking inaccessible area with a big gate but I can’t recognize it on the map and that makes me think I might have met it somewhere else. I also remember meeting people along the way mourning over a little dolphin that got stuck and died in the rocks next to a pier during a storm, but I also am not sure this memory belongs to this place. In any case, I surely didn’t go farther than this coastline nub 2 kms away from home.

I treasure these memories a lot, moreover that with the kind of life you have during such grandma vacations it’s ususally the only thing worth remembering aside from the sea and the warmth of the sun. Thanks for reading.