#nexus aroace
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Nexus Aroace / Nexelic: A term for someone who knows they are on the aroace spectrum, but doesn’t know where exactly on it they are, due to neurodivergence and/or something similar (for example, plurality).
pt: Nexus Aroace / Nexelic
Someone who uses this label may have a lack of understanding of how romantic and sexual attraction works at all, and may have a hard time feeling “just right” with a specific label or experience. As such, someone with this label may, for instance...
Feel as though they have a cluster of different pieces of labels
Hoard labels due to a vague connection to multiple of them
Use no specific aspec labels because none fit just right
Have labels that blend into each other due to being a system
Have labels that you quickly pick up and later drop or wear out
Have a label that feels vague, fluid, flux, or confusing in one/multiple ways, while still being distinctly aspec
This term is largely based off of the nexe- orientation labels by @ neopronouns. The term nexelic was made alongside nexus aroace primarily for spadillics (people who don’t use the SAM), but anyone can use either term. The colors of the flag were taken from the aroace spectrum flag.
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originally coined and posted by Kenochoric.
#nexus aroace#nexelic#coiner: kenochoric#flag: kenochoric#mogai term#mogai#mogai community#mogaireal#mogai heaven#liom#liom community#aroace#aroacespec
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Pride Patch Patterns: January 2024
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#alloaro#aroace#aromantic#arospike#creator: k. a. cook#fictoromantic#format: accessories and jewellery#format: art and crafts#format: cross stitch#format: embroidery#format: fabric art#format: needlework#format: original art#format: sewing patterns#nexus aroace#queer#work: pride patches#work: text patches
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"I can fix them"?
NO THEY CAN FIX ME
I SWEAR
#Solarmoon#Solarnexus#Solar x moon#Solar x nexus#solar tsams#sams nexus#sams new moon#Also#Qpr solarmoon#But guys listen#Im using these two to cope#They can fix me i swear#Listen just one more fanfic and like 3 more pieces of art and ill be fine#I swear#art#sams#Sams au#Also this is my au and they don't see each other as brothers and Nexus is questioning aroace and they're in a qpr#And experiment with each other#They're really gay tho#They may have romantic feeling for each other but they're not sure#They're idiots#Tdsp au#Probaly idk
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AroAce Tricky Emojis!
AroAce - AroAceSpec
Oriented AroAce - Angled AroAce - Electio AroAce
#pride#lgbt pride#pride emoji#emoji#custom emoji#custom discord emoji#aroace#arospec#aro pride#acespec#ace pride#oriented aroace#angled aroace#electio aroace#aroacespec#madness project nexus#madcom#madness combat#madness combat tricky#tricky the clown#grunt#pride grunts#lgbtq community#lgbtq#my emoji#spooky
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Uuuggggghhhhhh...
Help why does everyone wanna revoke moon/Nexuss aroaceness? Like istg I hop on tiktok and all I see is 'solarxnexus' or 'solarxmoon' AND IM SICK OF IT!!
First off, (plz don't cancel me its the truth 😊) solarxnexus/moon is in fact a proship, its sibling x sibling which is gross.
Second, just because aroace ppl can have romantic/sexual attraction DOESN'T MEAN THEY ALL DO. Tell me, does Nexus/moon really seem like they would pursue a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone? No.
Im tired of having aroace rep snatched. THEY MORE THAN LIKELY DONT WANNA DATE!!! ITS NOT DEBATE ABLE!! 😞
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caught in the extremely weird limbo in fandom spaces where i have never once seen any, like, canonically sex-positive ace/romance-positive aro characters (or demi/gray/etc), but aphobia is so widespread in fandom on the grounds of "BUT AROACE PPL CAN STILL BE IN RELATIONSHIPS/HAVE SEX" that it like. almost feels wrong somehow to be making or headcanoning characters as romance/sex positive at all bc fully ace/aro or -repulsed ppl already get barely anything in fandom spaces. idk girl help
#idk. many of the protagonists in my wips are aroacespec in at least one direction but#i am not. having a great time. with the underlying fear of Am I Just Contributing To Fandom Aphobia#by reaffirming that Aroace People Can Still Date And Fuck Btw#mine#fandom#anyway ignore me i havent eaten all day so im just real grumpy rn. my demigray ass is creating a torment nexus for itself
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i don't think i'll ever be turning this into an actual. thing. but here have a pre-p:n scene snippet thing:
random village boy, surrounded by his snickering friends: hey [six] got a boyfriend? young six, looking up from poking a rock with a stick, confused: …no? village boy: d'ya want one? [wink] six: no thank you, but thank you for asking anyways [goes back to poking the rock]
obviously nobody knows what to do about this. the boy just mutters something under his breath and everyone leaves in silence. six's mom asks him about it later that evening and he just shrugs and goes "i just told him the truth, 'm not interested, i wasn't being rude but maybe he thought that i was." his mom just looks at him, sighs, then tells him to go clean up for dinner.
he realizes five and a half years later lying in bed one night that OH that boy was asking me out that'd explain his reaction! then he turns over and goes to sleep, satisfied that that mystery's finally resolved
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Making OC's is the most amazing thing ever
I've got Nexus, a lesbian who's learning magic along with the knowledge of cracking codes. She has a sibling, Hellaya who's enby and aroace. They're the one teaching her magic bc they're fucking awesome.
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Confirmed:
Moon would be dating Monty if Earth wasnt with him.
Moon is aroace but he can date if he wants.
Nexus never got time to find out his sexuality, nor he would want to, so you can shoot him with the beam of your favorite sexuality. (I already shoot him with the Demisexual beam)
Ruin is british just because.
They don't plan the names of the characters, it's more random lol
Sun is straight.
We will have to find out if Solar is bi or not 🥲
#tsams#polaris stuffs#the sun and moon show#non art post#sun and moon show#tsams spoilers#tsams nexus#tsams sun#tsams solar#tsams moon#tsams monty#tsams ruin
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If you wouldn't mind, could you explain to me in detail how your sifloop works? Would there ever be a romantic relationship between the two (and how do you think they would get to that stage) or do you just think they'll be stuck in this weird messed up obsession and loathing loop forever? Anyway your takes on sifloop are my favourite if you couldn't tell
Oh, I've been depicting it as romantic the whole time (remembers I'm asexual and aromantic and thus my depictions of such are alien at best) Er, though you'd be forgiven for not noticing.
I know I don't draw them being particularly traditionally cute (kissing, cuddling, etc) (even though I do envision that any time it's not literally extremely inconvenient that they are entangled like a pair of magnetised squiddles) particularly often.*
(Though, I do have some hints at that kind of behaviour: (x) (x) (x)) But this is where, hm, my particular readings of these characters' self-assessment comes in.
I believe that I (an aroace tumblr user who has been immersed in nuianced language about such things since i was an early teen) and Siffrin/Loop (a guy approaching their thirties who seems to have escaped social pressures primarily via isolation from their peers) will have some different views on things. Hell, Sif/Loop don't even have words for Asexuality and Aromanticism even if they seem to be able to point toward the feeling with roundabout language.
I think that their relationship, in the way that it would manifest, would first and foremost be Physical. Some real Maslow's hierarchy shit. Both of them are viciously touch starved and given the whole shared-ownership-of-body thing I keep alluding to (x) (x) I think they are prone to being a tangled pile of limbs both clothed and unclothed.
Now I (enlightened modern day asexual) do not think that physical/sexual/romantic are in any way synonyms unless you want them to be. I believe that literally all associated behaviours of these can be platonic if that's how you feel about it. Howeverrrrrrr. I really cannot envision "black-and-white-thinking-world-champion siffrin and/or loop" being able to disentangle that so easily. I think they would have trouble squaring the circle of certain actions not being reserved for romance, at least not until after several years of continued unpacking and philosophical discussion with Mirabelle and Odile.
And then there's the part where Siffrin/Loop (and also Isabeau!) have some absolutely insane Jealous streaks. Not even on the downlow, they just do. I think that combination of jealousy and posessiveness when paired with unevenly splitting time between A Guy You're Established To Be (at the very least on his side, romantically) In Love With, and Your Weird Fucking Clone Who You Keep Being Intimate And Intensely Emotional With, is going to cause some problems when it comes to labelling things.
I do not think Sif/Loop are stupid, but man do they ever lack emotional intelligence in a lot of areas (a thing the whole game hammers home). I do not think that they would be level-headed enough to independently invent the idea of "QPR, but the kind where you do basically fuck sometimes". I think they would just (agonise over cheating, first of all.) call it a romantic pairing and be done with it.
And then Isabeau is also there I guess. I gesture at him and at my aforementioned Iseabeau Torment Nexus thoughts (x)(x). I believe this polycule can work and even be healthy but hahahaha oh man they are gonna have some weirrrrrrd fuckin tension beforehand lolllll.
as for how i think they'd get to that stage? lol, lmao. I think of things with a lens of 'what would be the most narratively intense' a lot of the time, so my answer there is:
They basically act like one right out of the gate, at least to the average onlooker**. This makes the fights feel worse. This makes them both paranoid in different ways about how this affects Siffrin's relationship to Isabeau. This makes it more difficult for the party to go "hey so, your friend, we're all being very accepting of their sharp edges because they're clearly someone who's struggling, but why are they suuuuch an asshole?". They fret about this and it causes more push and pull as either side feels guilty about this relationship they're not 'supposed' to have. Even if their relationship woes could easily be squared away by either categorising it as a QPR or talking to Isa (who is vaugardian and probably thus lax about polyamory) neither of them are going to do that right out of the gate because they lack the language, are prone to being wracked by guilt, often assume the worst will happen should they talk about difficult topics, and straight up maybe just see intimacy/sexuality/romance as a package deal due to lacking the social expertise... You see what I mean.
I don't Know if what I envision is... The literal platonic ideal of "A Romantic Relationship". I don't know that if Cupid came on down and inspected my brain that they'd agree that this is romantic and not just like, something really fucking weird, man. I don't even know if I would call it romantic, necessarily. BUT. I Do Think. That These Two. Would Maybe Label It That Way. Because it would make it easier for them to understand and come to peace with that way. Which is what matters. Labels are Descriptive, not Prescriptive.
What I DO think i envision however is something so fucking aroace brained that i can point to sif/loop's canon labels, point to MY labels, and then give you a big thumbs up hoping that you won't get on my ass for implying several sentences upstream that "they probably basically fuck, or something, idk, does star-sucking count as sex? i'm not a doctor nor medical professional of any kind. you probably shouldn't drink whatever comes out of it though"
Implicit question 2: "Jesus Christ you make them seem to hate each other, is that not contradictory? Is that all supposed to be during them being romantically involved?" Yup! Sorry for the subtle undercurrent I haven't previously explicitly and overtly established literally at all but a good chunk of that percieved hatred is a byproduct of Loop keeping their identity secret. That's the space wherein I set most of my fanart. (x) Once that cat is out of the bag I think the heat cools off significantly because then they aren't both talking around each other trying not to actually say what they're fighting about. They can actually bond about shared experiences out in the open rather than keeping their traps shut in case the party overhears. They still fight and have problems thereafter, but it's not made worse by being unable to directly discuss the core issue (+ the party can actually contribute/try to shut things down rather than being unclear on what exactly the issue is)
The above ALSO not helping when it comes to jealousy/feelings of infidelity re: Isabeau. (When specifically in the context of Romantic Frustration here, since that jealousy extends to the whole party when generalised) So that adds another thing to, not necessarily fight about, but be bitter over.
As for hatred being contradictory. Mmm. Nah.
The opposite of Love is not Hate. It is Indifference. (A theme ISAT notably gets at). Hate is distinctly something you do if you care. Often if you care Way Too Much.
I try not to write them hating each other, so much as feeling extremely intensely about each other. (x)
Feeling intensely Thankful, Understood, Sorry, Trapped, Devoted, Jealous, Protective, Pitying, Indebted...
^ Scary ! Complicated ! Hard to deal with ! Even the positive ones can be overwhelming! It's gonna make things weird!
So uh, Yeah. There's your answer? I suppose tl;dr: I view relationships as nebulous and only defined by those in it. (This is something I have previously yapped about at length in essays about my OCs lol) And generally view that there's no "true" label for any relationship except the one that doesn't cause undue distress. (which. i mean it does here. but it probably works out in the end with enough talking)
Asking me to define if something is romantic is like asking me to pin down the true form of the Human Soul. Like dawg i dont know how to do that i dont even know if that shit is real. there are merely actions and their constructed societal categories. If i tell you I think they kiss sometimes does that clear it up? (It shouldn't, obviously, but you get what I mean)
But yeah. Gestures broadly. Shipping an ace (and maybe even aroace based on some shit that little fella says) character like this means it comes with an essay. Because it necessarily interfaces with their nonstandard mode of interaction in that arena. The part where its weirdo fucking ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ selfcest merely adds a layer.***
... Anyway I'll leave you with this. The mirasifloop qpr "so what is.... romance?" discussion sessions are probably downright dialectical aren't they. Feelings Buddies discuss the phrase "Self-Love" 23467324235 dead 3 injured
*i do have like . 2 wips. that would. include this kind of behaviour explicitly. but i simply have not gotten around to them yet. and also don't worry neither of them are purely fluff both of them still have an air of worrying fuckedupedness about them. yay !
** inkeeping with my "geared for maximal conflict" mind, this can be flavoured with some "technically nobody can say it's not canon, I guess?" during-the-game Sifloop. By handing them the 'started leaning on each other for comfort more blatantly toward the end of a4' thing, since, well, I think exploring the "Loop expected at least one of them to be dead by the end of this/Loop never expected this to end, and thus began filling in that 'Lover' role as comfort/pity/selfishness/mercy given their knowledge that Isabeau is forever out of reach for both of/at least one of them" angle is... Well it's certainly fuckin' compelling that's for sure. Like oops, you let the timeloop malaise get to you and maybe started a trist because you thought you'd be dead before there'd be any lasting consequences. Here's those consequences, motherfucker !! But you won't catch me putting that explicitly in my comics because I don't want to change anything about the raw text of canon when I'm exploring its consequences. However, nothing I do is Incompatible with this read. And I enjoy making things more tortured so. Shrugs and hands this to you. Be free. (....x)
*** those of you that know what i mean by this just had all of it click just now didnt you. lol.
#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#sloops#okay for once i dont actually have shit to say in the tags because i just wrote it all up there. bye#long post#christ alive it it a long post#anyway thanks adrienne for the asexual characters i love to gnaw on giving them complexes re: interpersonal relationships and weird#approaches and conflicting emotions vis a vis intimacy. its nice to have a soapbox to ramble abt this that isnt my own ocs for once#and also sorry for using your characters (and this anon. sorry lol) as a soapbox. but also yay soapbox i love to be on a soapbox
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Pride Patch Patterns: December 2023
As I post weekly pride patch patterns on Patreon, here’s a monthly round-up for non-subscribers! Folks who need help with materials, stitching, finishing or attaching patches should check out my tutorial master page. Previous patterns are available at my pattern gallery. Continue reading Untitled
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#alloaro#aroace#aromantic#arospike#creator: k. a. cook#fictoromantic#format: accessories and jewellery#format: art and crafts#format: cross stitch#format: embroidery#format: fabric art#format: needlework#format: original art#format: sewing patterns#nexus aroace#queer#work: pride patches#work: text patches
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Masterpost :D
Previous Masterpost contents under the cut, but I'll likely be more active over on @leons-art-pit from now on
thank you everyone who has supported me over the past nearly two years <3
!! Please don't repost/dub my comics!!! !!
Art Tag: #sad•leonart
Instagram || BlueSky || Ko-Fi || Patreon
RedBubble! || Doe Keychain <3
Finding Home: (#finding home au)
Summary: Leo was dropped and left behind when Lou Jitsu escaped Draxum's lab. He was then raised by Draxum and Big Mama- finding a name for himself in the battle nexus to prove himself worthy to Draxum
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (WIP)
Galileo
Kraang Leo: (#k!leo au)
Summary: Leo faces off against Prime in the prison dimension and gets infected, and while he regained control of his mind, his healing journey has only just begun
Fic Link
Two Shades of Blue: (tag: #rise2012crossover)
Summary: Leon accidentally portals himself to the 2012 universe in a moment of panic and has to learn to love himself to get home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23
Lonely Leo: Leo is kidnapped by Draxum as a kid. Five years later, he escapes, but believes he needs to redeem himself before he can go back home
Main Post, Fanfic, AU Tag
Shadow Leo: Leo is hit by a crystal that curses him to become part of the shadows. He lives in Donnie's shadow until the invasion
Main Post, AU Tag
Animatics
Devil Town v2, Fireworks Beneath my Shoes (Swanatello), Saline Solution (Death Wish), Angel Eyes and Basketball (Death Wish)
Animations
Future Leo and Little Leo, CAS Casey, CAS Uncle Tello, Donnie (unfinished), Gemini Twins
Stickers!!
AroAce Future Leo, Leo holding a Pride flag, Undercooked Leo, TSOB expressions
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Do you guys wanna hear headcannons (and slight cannons) about sexuality n other stuff? No? Too bad >:3
Sun- He/Him, Bi-curious, Trans
Moon- He/They, Aroace, Agender
Lunar- He/They, Omniromantic Polyamorus, nonbinary
Earth- She/Her, Pansexual
Solar- She/He, Bisexual, demigender
Jack- Any, Questioning, Genderfluid
Monty- Any, Bisexual, Gender fluid
Foxy- He/Him, Straight, Asexual
Puppet- She/He, Biromantic, Genderqueer
Eclipse- He/Him, Gay
Ruin- He/Him, Gay
Ballora- She/Her, Bisexual
Eaps Monty- She/Her, Lesbian
Eaps Moon- They/Them, Questioning, Nonbinary
Eaps Sun- He/They, queer, Demiboy
Eaps Foxy- He/Him, questioning
Lefty- He/Him, Straight
Francis- He/They/It, Queer, Nonbinary
Frank- He/She/It, Queer, Pangender
Bloodtwins- They/Them, Aroace, Nonbinary
KC- She/Her, Pansexual, Trans Fem
Solar Flare- They/Them, Aroace, Nonbinary
Solaris (Dark Sun)- She/He, Queer, Intersex
Nexus- He/Him, Aroace
#sun and moon show#sams#sams sun#Sams moon#sams solar#sams jack#sams monty#sams ruin#sams frank#sams bloodtwins#sams killcode#sams solar flare#Sams solaris#sams dark sun#sams nexus#lunar and earth show#laes#laes lunar#laes earth#laes solar#laes jack#eclipse and puppet show#eaps#eaps eclipse#eaps puppet#eaps foxy#eaps captain foxy#eaps ballora#eaps monty#eaps lefty
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[SUPERHERO AU] ASK AND ANSWER
Can you smile a little bit, Eclipse? You are making me look really bad right now, how unkind of you~~ (-Pre Dazzle-)
They two just beat the shit out of each other. Nothing new, guys, don't worry. I'm pretty sure Solar will get out, some way...
--- ANYWAYS, SOME FACTS:
- Sun used to call himself SUN when he still terrorized the world. He changed his name to The Kid napper after he met Jack and Dazzle.
- Solar hero's name is Eclipse. He is retired now, because the main threat (SUN) has disappeared but he still gets in front sometimes if something really bad happens.
- Earth is a billionaire, who is the daughter of Creator, the man that Sun has killed.
- Moon has his part time job as a scientist for the mafia. He uses them, of course, just to find someone.
1. Is Jack still Solar's son?
Yes. And he also has a terrible childhood.
Jack was born in a laboratory, an attempt to create weapons to protect humanity. Solar, as the earliest and most advanced Eclipse model who still remained, was responsible for the construction and handling of this pumpkin.
The project got cancelled because the head scientist disappeared, and Jack got scrapped, terminated right after that.
Solar doesn't care about Jack at first, (because reason related to this head scientist - Nexus) but seeing his creation just got thrown away and got saved in the hand of his hatred of the enemy (SUN) really changed his mind.
Luckily Jack got zero memories about that time and just grew up normally, like a good pumpkin that baby boy is. Until now....
2. Is Moon a parent in this?
Moon is still aroace. But recently, he just took on an apprentice named Molten.
3. What is Sun's tragic backstory? Why did he go ape shit?
Let's just say, something is not supposed to push too much. And also, Sun has no one, except Dark Sun.
4. What is Solar's power? What is Sun's power?
Sun is the nuclear bomb, the destroyer. He has the power of the actual Sun on his side. He is actually the one punch man in this universe. His magic is so powerful, he can just snap a finger and the universe just broke in half like a TWINK. No one can fight him at the physical level. The only way to stop him is to lock him down, and this, still not a good solution.
Solar has copy power. He can copy, absorb any type of power but only at the medium level and he can only forever possess this type of power if the person he copies is dead.
For example, if he copies Sun, he will have the power to fight God, as long as he keeps eye contact with Sun. But if Solar eats Sun, he will keep Sun's power forever.
Fun fact: Solar is super strong, has the ability to control machines, and change colour. (Fun questions, how many people Solar has eaten?)
5. Why did dazzle become a heroine?
She suddenly has power. She can fly, and also senses other emotions. (There are two people she couldn't sense anything from, her dad and that funky villain that she fight at night. )
Also, because Jack thinks it would be funny to be heroes.
6. Was Sun always a villain or did he start as a hero that turned bad?
He was just an assistant at first. He has no relation regard on the villain field, despite all people around him just ending up to be villains. Naive, easily to get startled, and optimistic. An idiot. He is still an idiot now, but with super power.
7. Why does he avoid Nexus' name?
Some people have stabbed his back. Nexus is just the only one he thought they would never do that to him.
8. Most importantly, what's the toxic yaoi ?
Anything happens between Dark Sun and Sun, anything happens between SUN and Solar pre Dazzle.
#i accidentally make Solar look small#but actually Solar is higher than Sun#this asshole just like to fly to make him higher#sun and moon show#tsams#the sun and moon show#sams#tsams sun#sams sun#superhero au
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I have headcanons to share!!
BM- aroace sex repulsed, he just hates people in general
Moon- aroace (obv)
Nexus- agender and aroace (AAA battery am I right fellas?)
Sun- asexual and bisexual (or bi-romantic in this case) (he’s a boykisser canon) also transmasc :]
Earth- pansexual and demigirl (this is kinda canon(?))
Eclipse- either a boy kisser or aroace, idk
Lunar- pansexual and demiboy
Solar- aromantic, that just seems right
Dark Sun- aroace, nonbinary
Jack- silly little aromantic man :3
KC- straight ally, maybe bi-curious
Ruin- gay.
Ehehehhehehehehe
More sexuality (and gender too) headcanons!
*Eats all of your headcanons*
#tsams#sams#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams headcanons#sams headcanons#sun and moon show headcanons#the sun and moon show headcanons#tsams bloodmoon#tsams moon#tsams nexus#tsams sun#tsams earth#tsams eclipse#tsams lunar#tsams solar#tsams dark sun#tsams jack#tsams killcode#tsams ruin#sams bloodmoon#sams moon#sams nexus#sams sun#sams earth#sams eclipse#sams lunar#sams solar#sams dark sun#sams jack
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Another solarnexus wip! This takes place after the other one i posted, and this is the "rest" (its defiently not the full chapter, but its the rest of what I wrote) of the snippet I posted around the time of writing this.
This was supposed to be the start of chapter 3 while the first one was supposed to be chapter 1. Stuff was supposed to be in between but I never wrote it/havnt written it yet
Enjoy! (Warning this isn't edited i don't think so I apologize for any awful grammar and/or typos)
If you asked Solar, he would say that he didn't believe in stupid fairy tale things like true love. That everything- even magic -had an explanation, and there just wasn't one for something like that. It was preposterous. And yes.. well…
Solar hadn't meant for it to actually work.
He had been panicking, stress clouding his mind. His decision had been rash and uncalculated, grabbing Nexus but the suspenders and kissing him.
It was a last-chance attempt at bringing his best friend back. He didn't expect it to work, it wasn't supposed to. He just.. he didn't know what he had been thinking. He hadn't been, really.
Yet as his lips pressed hard against the lunar model's, he felt him kissing back… it startled him for just a moment, before kissing him with more fever. His arms slid down to wrap around Nexus's waist holding him close. He could feel the other's hands holding onto his shoulders.
They just stayed like that for a moment, lips pressed together. Thousands of unspoken words burned through it, passion and desperation, fear and love.
Eventually, however, Solar's hard drive caught up to him and he remembered what was happening. That he wasn't just kissing his best friend, he was Nexus now.
He pulled away quickly, cheeks heating up in shame. Fuck, he had gotten too caught up in it. Hell! He shouldn't have kissed Nexus in the first place. He was the villain and he was aroace! He was probably going to kill him-
Yet when he looked into those eyes, they weren't the piercing red full of hatred he had been forced to come to know.
No.
They were wide, soft purple optics gleaming at him in shock and something that looked almost like fear.
".. solar-?" There was his voice. So much softer and higher than his older counterpart. This was the Nexus he knew…
Orange and black arms quickly wrapped around the dazed animatronic, pulling him into an endo-crushing hug. He squeaked, hands scrambling to Solar's back, razor-sharp claws tangling in the back of his shirt. "Wha-?? What is going on?!"
"Your back- thank fucking god.." Solar pressed his face against Nexus's neck, holding him tight and close by his waist. It was protective, almost possessive. He didn't ever want to let go of him again. He didn't think he was ever going to get to hug him again.
"Back?? What are you talking about, I'm-" the words quickly died in Nexus's voice box, trailing off. Oh.
Oh God.
Oh god.
Solar could sense the rising panic in his friend. He knew him better than anyone, after all. The way his simulated breaths raised in pace just a tad. The way he let out a barely choked sound, and went completely still. The way his fans seemed to skip a second.
He held him tighter, face pressing farther into his neck "It's going to be okay…"
"I really did all that, didn't I?" His voice cracked near the end, choking up. Oily tears collected in the corner of his eyes, threatening to spread and fall.
He was a monster.
He had threatened Earth. He'd almost killed someone! What had he even been thinking?? He hadn't been.. his mind had felt so foggy, it had felt like the right thing to do. The only way to save Solar.
But… Solar was right in front of him. And he knew Ruin wasn't dead, and Bloodmoon hadn't been used to bring him back.
Had he.. had he ruined his relationship with his family for nothing? Was he truly a monster? An insane, disgusting excuse for sentience? He had hurt the people he had swore to protect. He.. God Moon must be so disappointed in him. Sun must be-
Before he could fall too far into his spiraling, a gentle voice attempted to ground him to the present "Nexus-?" Solar murmured. God that voice.. that sweet, sweet voice. It sounded so close to someone he hated, but still so unique. So soft and gentle and smooth as honey. He loved that voice.
A voice that was back and so alive once more… God Nexus was an idiot. His eyes shut tight, tears falling as the silicone of his eyelid and under eye pressed together.
"I'm sorry." Was all he could make out, leaning forwards against the solar animatronic's chest. Grease and oil filled his olfactory sensors. So, so familiar.
That was the final straw, a sob ripping itself from his chest. He gripped tighter to the back of Solar's shirt, pressing him against the more sarcastic robot. Stupid.. stupidstupidstupid
Solar pulled him in close as he began to break down. They both slid to the floor, the smaller of the two settling in the other's lap. He cradled the poor animatronic in his arms, letting him cry to out against his chest.
Now he was up close like this, Solar could finally get a good look at him.
He had seen before when he was looking at him that the red that had previously been under his eye was gone. He was also wearing Solar's goggles on the top of his head, an accessory that Solar was sowerfully missing, but he wasn't going to make him part from them. Just let at least. He could also see some worrying cracks on the side of his faceplate, seemingly from some sort of blunt force damage.
He also looked a lot different from before. From the coloring down to the wiring on the back of his head. Hell, he was even shorter than before. That fact stuck out to Solar. Why was he shorter if he wanted to intimidate the rest of the celestial family? He'd have to ask about that later. If he could.
.. he'd better be able to ask about that later
Solar sighed, petting the back of the dozing bot's head. Nexus had cried himself to sleep against him while Solar had been caught up in his thoughts.
The solar animatronic shook his head, scooping him up into his arms in a princess carry as he stood up, cradling him against his chest. He looked around parts and services, where they currently were. Well.. there was no harm in staying here for a bit to fix Nexus up after he woke up. They..
They could talk to the rest of the family after.
#astro rants#tsams#Solarnexus#Solar x nexus#nexus x solar#Tsams solar#Tsams nexus#Tsams ships#the sun and moon show#Writing#Wip
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