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zwy01 · 11 months ago

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Reiner doodles!!!

Ahhhhhh my little prince boy!! He’s finally here!!! He’s HERE!!!

This is my OC, Aretis Verja Di Reiner! He is Razark and Raskreia’s son, and the latter’s heir.

I haven’t gone in depth with his backstory yet, so I’m going to do that here. He’s one of my 15 “main” characters of my Millennium AU and his full bio is up in my pinned post.

A brief recap on Reiner’s family. Typically, Reiner is an only child. His hypothetical full-sibling and younger sister Lorenda Roxanne Di Gloria does exist depending on how the mAU storyline is interpreted, which is very flexible in itself. If Gloria exists, she is born after Reiner runs away from Lukedonia. She is not a “100%” existing character in my mAU, which is why she isn’t in my lineup featured in my pinned post.

I love Reiner for his complexity and I’ve hardly even mentioned him at all. Ahhhhhhhh. I’m like, SO excited to finally talk about him. I’ve been waiting for this moment for four years since his creation!!!! And he’s by far one of my most layered characters, which is also why I’m not sure about how much I’ll be able to get through in this post. Probably won’t even be able to fit in most of his backstory in one go but I’ll do the best I can to cover major points. He’ll definitely get more posts of his own in the future, so what I don’t get to finish here, will go there. And you may recall me mentioning how I will expand on Gloria’s backstory as a two-in-one with Reiner’s character post. As of now, that won’t hold true anymore because Reiner’s own stuff turned out to be much longer than what I had expected so I think I’ll end up giving Gloria her own post. (She deserves her own post despite being a situational character. Looks like there will be 16 posts total, haha) Yay! My precious Reiner’s partially complete backstory.

Before I jump right into Reiner’s story, I want to give a little more context on this AU in general because I feel like I haven’t clarified exactly why this AU is not a happy one, but an angsty one. The answer is Lord Raskreia. Presumably everything goes well post-ending in the post-canon timeline. Crombel’s nukes are dealt with, Raskreia takes her two Clan Leaders back to Lukedonia, and life goes on etc etc. That is the “good ending” for Raskreia and the general noble population. Basically your happily-ever-after ending. (In this timeline, Reiner is nonexistent because Razark is dead, and he stays dead. Reiner is replaced with Raskreia’s son whom she has with Kei, with the latter serving as the soul fragment donor. That’s a lot of new information at once. But the post-canon timeline kidlord deserves his own post so that’s for later. He actually made a brief appearance in my crackship nextgen post so feel free to check it out!) This is where my mAU thematically diverges from canon. Razark being alive isn’t even the main focal point of this AU. In my mAU timeline, Lukedonia is ruled by the “bad ending” Raskreia.

To be exact, Lord Raskreia who doesn’t take the canonical series of events very well. I mean, just think about it. Traitor nobles, werewolves, modified humans, bloodstones, satellites, nukes… they just kept coming. And it all happened during her reign, right under her nose. The world was in danger, and Lukedonia was in danger. They were more than fortunate enough to save Razark in the nick of time before the traitor nobles were able to finish him off. Raskreia and her two Clan Leaders were more than fortunate enough to return safe and sound after facing Crombel’s nukes head on. Now what? To think that all threats have been eliminated, and that the world is finally at peace, would be rather unrealistic. Too optimistic. After all, just look at what happened. For this exact reason, Raskreia feels uneasy and she is unable to relax. She can’t guarantee that the possibility of future attacks is at 0% …none of them can. It is unlikely, but you can’t just ignore the what ifs. Thanks to these series of events, Raskreia more or less decreed that Lukedonia would continue to stay on guard in a half-emergency state. Everyone must be vigilant and prepared to respond to emergencies anytime and anywhere. Admittedly, they were a bit underprepared during the most recent, and hopefully the last invasion of Lukedonia. To her, this was a wake up call. The world has gotten more dangerous as it developed. And it will continue to develop at fast pace. So she called for action. The guards’ training program doubled in intensity and duration. Those who did not show substantial improvement were deemed under-qualified, got removed from their posts and then replaced by faster, stronger, and more qualified individuals. Raskreia also assigned more people to patrol duty; along the coast, in the forest, in the mountains… until every last inch of Lukedonian land had eyes monitoring it. She enforced evacuation drills at regular intervals. She established a new alert system. Ludis, along with many other nobles, were called in to investigate and enforce the barrier of Lukedonia in hopes that a stronger barrier with increased resistance to being deactivated would make Lukedonia harder to penetrate. The list would continue on. To summarize, Lukedonia is now harder to enter… and harder to leave. You know what that entails.

In my mAU, the Clan Leaders’ relationship with Raskreia also takes a different approach to canon. They are still extremely loyal to her and will respond to her commands without hesitation. Except what’s different here is that they are not so sure if they trust her completely. This could refer to many things, but it’s mostly pointing to Gejutel’s incident during the first Lukedonia arc. The Clan Leaders pretty much witnessed their Lord almost executing Gejutel, her trusted advisor and one of her most loyal subjects who also served the Previous Lord during his reign. All because of a misunderstanding and suspicions that she didn’t even bother to fully investigate. She was willing to accuse and execute him just like that. So the man who dedicated his life to serve her, and her father, only meant that much to her. Fortunately the misunderstanding was eventually cleared thanks to Raizel’s timely intervention. Had it not been for the noblesse, the old man would’ve met his tragic fate under a false treason charge. Did Raskreia even apologize to him in the end? And… what does Gejutel think of her now? The Clan Leaders don’t know what Gejutel thinks of this entire incident, nor does he ever bring it up. As curious as these Clan Leaders are, they know better than to ask Gejutel himself, as it would be impolite. If he didn’t complain, then none of them can. Gejutel’s loyalty to Raskreia seems to remain the same, at least from what they can observe. But they can’t help but think… what if they were in his shoes? How would they feel? After all, Raskreia proved that she was willing to jump to conclusions and execute a reputable, loyal subject like that in an almost whimsical manner. Just, you know… does this mean that them witnessing Gejutel’s almost-execution is simply them getting a glimpse into their own future? Will their Lord still be as immature? What will the future even hold for them? Sure, they are still loyal to her, by both their own choice and their duty. But again. They couldn’t help but think in that direction.

And that wraps up my brief overview of my mAU! Hope that answers some questions, and gives a little more context on why Raskreia and Reiner act the way they do in my storyline. Without further ado, let’s get started on Reiner’s story! Yeahhh!!!!

We already know that Reiner is the heir to the throne of Lukedonia. It is a fate to which he is tied since birth, and one he can never separate himself from. He is meant to follow in Raskreia’s footsteps and succeed her as Lord one day, just like how she succeeded his grandfather, and his grandfather’s many, many ancestors before him. He shall become the next ruler of Lukedonia who will protect them and guide them to prosperity. Reiner the great and glorious. Eeeexcept his future is neither great nor glorious. Reiner gets depressed, ditches his identity entirely, and runs away after his attempt to reform Lukedonia into a democracy fails. Currently, he is permanently on the run with his mother and her elite search party coming after his head. Reiner adopts a human name, disguises himself, and works part-time jobs in the human world all while skillfully evading whoever is after him. He’s a fugitive on Lukedonia’s most-wanted list, but he’d take that over being the prince of a suffocating noble country. Anything but that. And we will witness how his story unfolds, from his early childhood all the way to his escape many years later.

On Reiner’s general character. In terms of appearance, Reiner resembles his maternal grandmother Desdemona very much. A mysterious aura, beautiful eyes, and wavy black hair that turns into a wonderful crimson shade under the sun. Personality-wise, he also has some of Mona’s stubbornness when it comes to firmly sticking to his beliefs. But it’s not just Mona. Reiner also takes after his maternal grandfather, the Previous Lord. Their personalities overlap quite a bit. Just like the Previous Lord, Reiner is charismatic, outgoing, has his sense of humor, and is open to new ideas. Despite being stubborn at times, Reiner can also be quite flexible, especially when it comes to keeping up with the ever changing world. But Reiner is even more upfront and vocal about it. He himself is the change; he doesn’t need to wait for it to happen. And he doesn’t want to wait. Back then, his grandfather voluntarily entered eternal sleep with his Clan Leaders to pave way for the new generation. And Reiner? He would much rather witness change with his own eyes. He doesn’t just want to believe in it, he wants to see it happen real time. Reiner will be there to implement what he envisions by being the person to lead them all. He wants all the nobles to live up to their fullest potential, and he has confidence in himself that he will be able to figure out something that works for everyone. Reiner is positive about the future. He will be a responsible, caring Lord who has everyone’s best interest at heart. His bright future awaits him. Not only will he be his people’s leader, he will also be their friend. It will be his responsibility to guide them as their equal. And when he passes, he will be remembered as a great Lord.

Except this side of his personality never got the chance to develop. This is the Reiner that could have been if he had the opportunity to grow up under the right circumstances. Precisely, if he had the luxury of receiving ideal support coming from both his family and his people. Reiner was basically robbed of his full potential, and one that he will never get the chance to make up for. You can’t just redo your childhood and early adulthood to replace what had been missing all along, which means his pain will last for a lifetime. The current Reiner is sad, defeated, doesn’t want to interact with anyone, and gave up on his identity altogether. In fact, he doesn’t want anything to do with Lukedonia in the slightest, even if they pardoned him and invited him back. To see why this is, we will have to go back to the very beginning, to Reiner’s toddler days.

Reiner was a good child. He was polite, kind, generous, and always kept an eye out for the needs of others, as if the world and everyone around him lived inside his little heart. His precious, delicate little heart. He truly cherished them all. In Reiner’s eyes, the people of Lukedonia were more like his friends than his future subjects. The nobles all greeted him with utmost respect and addressed him as “Prince Reiner”, and even though Reiner did not fully understand why everyone was so formal with him, he very much enjoyed the attention. And of course, being the polite kid he was, Reiner would bow back and say “thank you very much!”, to which the nobles would be very flustered, beg their prince to get up, and even go as far as to blame themselves for making their prince bow to them. At the same time, they were also very flattered to know that their prince thought so highly of them.

And Reiner did! It wasn’t just to be polite from his end. Reiner respected and loved them just as much as they did for him. Anyone can tell you that Reiner was a nice boy. He made sure to never be on only the receiving end, and always went out of his way to reciprocate his people’s efforts. He didn’t need to do so as being served is one of the perks that came with his birthright as prince, but he never let that stop him. He was full of enthusiasm. Reiner helped Minerva’s librarians shelve their books despite being only a smidge taller than a large houseplant. He assisted Doris with her journal entries on effects of different soil types on crops, writing in his own tiny notebook with his tiny hands. He tended to Claudia’s garden of herbs and harvested, cleaned, and dried the plants with her. He eagerly followed Ludis and his knights around during patrol duty even though he was too small to keep up with them. At home, he offered to dust his residence along with his maids and greet the guests at the door with his butler. Even when no one was around, Reiner bowed to the stone statues outdoors and thanked them for watching over Lukedonia, and brushed dirt and twigs off their heads and shoulders.

Reiner loved his people, and he loved his country. His passion was unmatched. Reiner had won over most people in Lukedonia at a very young age. If you needed help or looked like you needed help, you could count on little Reiner. He’d stand upright, give his chest two firm pats with his tiny hand, and say “Allow me to assist you!” How adorable. Aww. Soon enough the citizens of Lukedonia learned to not refuse their prince’s offer to help with their mundane tasks because they saw how happy he was to be a part of them. Everyone seemed to be impressed and proud of their prince… except for one. Or, at least she doesn’t show it.

Despite Lord Raskreia telling Reiner that he will become Lord after her, and that he must prepare himself for that role, little Reiner didn’t quite have a full grasp on what being Lord means yet. But that’s okay, because he is still so young. He has all the time he needs in this world to learn what it means to be Lord. His father Razark would smile, pat his son on the head, and tell him that one day, everyone in this land will be under his care, so he needs to grow up to be strong and smart to protect and lead them. To which Reiner would always smile and answer “Yes, Father!” with sincerity. Little Reiner understood that he will have to work harder than anyone else, but he was certain that he’ll do a good job. He has to. He’ll do it for his people, he’ll do it for himself, his father, and… his Lord. His beloved mother, though he’s not allowed to address her as such. Right. His Lord, his ruler, and Lukedonia’s one and only. She’ll be proud of him, right? Even if Raskreia never explicitly stated that she looked forward to her son’s accomplishments and that she’d recognize him for his excellence, Reiner just knew that she would. He was hopeful and optimistic. After all, he’s her son! Razark could sense that his little son yearned for his mother’s approval, despite it being one he knew she wouldn’t be handing out freely. Razark also knew how stoic his wife could be sometimes, so he would tell Reiner that the Lord has… her own way of showing her feelings, and even if she doesn’t openly display much enthusiasm, he’s sure she’d be proud of her boy. And that is all the reassurance little Reiner needed to hear to be happy, to have his father praise him in his mother’s place. It was a short-lived happiness, but it was genuine for as long as it lasted; until the delicate illusion that ever so gently and sweetly veiled the harsh truth was inevitably torn down and Reiner’s innocent little soul was no longer shielded from the woes of reality.

As soon as Reiner became old enough to start his rigorous training in both studies and fighting, he was no longer allowed to roam around freely as he wished. He had a schedule set for him, with little to no room for deviation. It was the standard operating procedure. Raskreia followed it in her youth, and so did the Previous Lord and the Lords before him. It was tradition. Reiner had to obey whether he liked it or not, as this was a mandatory obligation of a prince. Reiner was only 15 years old at this time, which is the equivalent of a human preschooler. As soon as Reiner had his 15th birthday, Raskreia decreed that it was time for him to begin his training as part of his Lord succession lessons. Reiner obeyed his Lord and did as she ordered, albeit a bit begrudgingly because he did not like idea of endlessly rotating between tutors and having to sit inside a boring classroom all day. He did make sure to not let his true feelings show, because Raskreia is his beloved mother, and above all else, he wanted to make her proud. As much as Reiner missed being able to roam around Lukedonia to interact with his people with all the free time he had, he was determined to do a good job at his mother’s assignments. He will study hard and not be distracted by anyone or anything. He even stood in front of a mirror, pointed to his own face, and made a promise to his reflection that he would do everything his Lord prepares for him. “Good job. You’re brave.” He said to himself. This was not an easy feat for Reiner, as he already knew how much he would crave being out there doing mundane tasks. But it was the right moment to put all of that behind. It took some time and a little bit a courage, but Reiner was ready. Now was the time to live up to his title of Prince of Lukedonia. Poor Reiner. In hindsight, perhaps it was too early, and he would’ve done better if he had more time to be a child instead of future Lord.

Reiner was not an academic genius, he was still better than average. Time proved that his efforts paid off. Little Reiner kept up with his tutors and went through piles after piles of books and papers. While he did not cruise through the material, he was able to make progress without falling behind Raskreia’s schedule for him. Reiner believed that he was pretty average though. Perhaps he was unaware of the fact that he was doing a very good job, given how strict his mother was regarding his education. At times, Reiner did feel the urge to zone out, count the tiles on the ceiling, daydream about being outside doing fun things with other people…etc. He even thought about skipping class because listening to his tutors’ voices echo in the study room was anything but interesting.

But Reiner had a lot of self-discipline. He did his best to not let himself be distracted, and he did a pretty good job. And if he doesn’t do it now, he’ll need to do it later anyway. Most of all, the Lord would be disappointed in him, and that was the last thing he wanted to see: his mother’s disheartened expression. He’ll make sure he does everything ordered of him, if that means he’ll get praise from her. Anything is welcome. Good job, you’ve worked hard, that’s my little boy. If the Lord praises him, maybe he can even stop daydreaming about his freedom. All these tedious tasks would then have meaning to them. But not once did the Lord drop by to check on her son’s progress. Little Reiner always had his eyes and ears on the windows and doors of his study room in anticipation of his mother’s arrival. Unfortunately, his wishes never came true. Each time his disappointment increased as the footsteps he so eagerly followed were revealed to have belonged to one of the Lord’s many assistants. Sure, the Lord sent them herself and they were tasked to check on their prince, but that doesn’t change the fact that they weren’t… her. He wanted to show his mother how much progress he made. Make her proud. Yet not once was she willing to come in person. And her assistants were not helpful either. They never praised Reiner for his work, only to take notes and report back to Raskreia if they came to the conclusion that Reiner was about to fall behind. That’s literally their job. They were in no place to interfere with their prince’s classes, even if he was only a small child who needed emotional support. Reiner started to feel trapped, and classes felt more like prison sentences than lessons.

Fortunately, Reiner’s training wasn’t all about pen on paper. Sparring lessons were like a breath of fresh air to him, and he always looked forward to meeting people on the training grounds. At least he didn’t have to sit still and listen to a tutor talk all day. He could actually interact with a “real” person out in the open, and he could stretch his limbs and move around to his satisfaction. How nice! As with Reiner’s academic skills, he was no fighting genius either. His grasp on his little wooden sword was wobbly and his swings were less than smooth. His aura conjuring was unstable and at times, it either dispersed completely or messily exploded. But with perseverance and effort, and lots of patience from his mentors, he was able to get a decent grasp on things fairly quickly. Raskreia assigned her most elite fighters to Reiner to help shape him into the impressive warrior he must become as part of his succession training. He had mentors who specialized in offense and defense, and some that specialized in being all-rounders. Reiner would begin to develop a very special way of defensive fighting. His mentors were very impressed with their young prince. And for Reiner, getting his clothes sweaty and his knuckles bloody was definitely more fun than watching a tutor talk all day. And unlike his tutors, his fighting mentors were much more enthusiastic and open to communication outside their spars rather than just deadpan reciting an old piece of history while refusing to have any small talk. His mentors were fun people. Reiner had a good time. But something still felt like it was missing. Like with Reiner’s daily academic checkpoints, the Lord’s assistants would also come to the training grounds to take notes on Reiner’s progress. They jot down something in a notebook, take a few glances at him, and they leave. Yet again, his mother was nowhere to be seen. She did not bother to come to see him recite a passage flawlessly, nor did she make an effort to watch him skillfully defend himself from a mentor’s forceful kick. Reiner’s mentors would notice his sudden mood switch and ask their prince what’s wrong, to which Reiner would always respond “nothing”. And now he has to clean up and go back indoors to finish his essay on Lukedonian history, before he can even get a chance to relax. Sigh.

Studying after sparring. Sparring after studying. Back and forth. For almost every single day. Reiner started to grow tired. But he never let himself relax. He pushed himself, and he consistently grinded through the challenges presented to him just like he had always been doing since Raskreia put him on this training regimen. His brain and body, one of them was always busy. Yet Raskreia was never absent from Reiner’s mind. Whenever he made progress, he always instinctively thought about her witnessing his good work. He sustained himself by coming up with and replaying imaginary scenes of his mother giving him the praise he deserves. The real deal never bothered anyway. She still relied on her assistants to monitor Reiner’s progress. As days went by, Reiner began to lose hope and he no longer anticipated his mother’s arrival and involvement in his training. Sometimes, it’d cross his mind, but then he’d shrug it off. Nope. Don’t think about it. It’ll just make him feel sad. Can’t give himself that false sense of hope. Fortunately, for him, his mother isn’t his only source of hope. One day, as his tutor announces that class is over, he hears some footsteps… and he senses something familiar. It isn’t his mother, nor is it one of her assistants. It’s… his father!! Little Reiner is more than overjoyed to have his father pick him up at the end of the day. Usually, the butler or one of the maids do it. Not today! At least Reiner can stop pouting for now. Razark would give his son praise and tell him he worked hard. This would soothe the faint, aching feeling in Reiner’s chest. While it did not substitute for affection from Raskreia, it was still better than nothing.

Not only was Razark more involved in Reiner’s early life, he pretty much remains as Reiner’s only parental figure throughout his son’s time in Lukedonia. Functionally, his role is pretty similar to that of single parent’s. Raskreia is simply too busy to be involved in Reiner’s life. She is Reiner’s biological mother, but she is also her people’s Lord. She had the duty to attend to her subjects. And… her son can get by without a mother present in his life, but Lukedonia can’t be without their Lord. That’s what her husband Razark is for. Right. She has him. He’ll be there for their son, in her place. And the title of Kertia Clan Leader now belongs to Rael, so Razark has all the time in the world for Reiner if he needs parental support. That’ll work. Their son would have company, and she could carry on with her duties as Lord. Surely that is the best arrangement. Or, at least that’s what the Lord thought. Logically, it made sense. Realistically? Asking her preschool-aged son to compromise probably wasn’t the fairest thing to do, but they had no other choice. And Razark, being the loyal husband he is, did as his wife suggested. And he did what a good father would. He monitored his son’s progress, played with him, and they talked about the old days. About that time when the traitor nobles invaded Lukedonia and how they ultimately fought them off with help from the noblesse, how the Lord stopped a missile with Rozaria-nim and Kei-nim, what his paternal grandfather Ragar was like, even funny stories about uncle Rael’s embarrassing shenanigans… they had a good time as father and son. It didn’t make up for Raskreia’s absence, but Reiner nonetheless appreciated his father’s efforts very much.

However, this did not stop young Reiner from asking his father questions about his mother. After all, she was still very much of an important presence in his life even if he wasn’t necessarily part of hers. He asked his father if the Lord didn’t like him, or that she was disappointed in him, like any child would if they felt like a parent didn’t want to be with them. Razark always reassured his son that the Lord loves him, but she is just too busy. Out of respect, Reiner does not press the matter any further. And their conversations always ended there. Did Razark manage to convince Reiner? No. As much as Reiner wanted to believe his father, he needed to witness it with his own eyes. Reiner loved Raskreia and he missed her. She was everywhere, yet she was also nowhere. She could be in the throne room discussing matters with her Clan Leaders, checking in on the coastal borders, on a diplomatic meeting with some humans or werewolves… if something needed her attention, she would always be on the way. And out of all those things, she couldn’t find time for her son. If Reiner was lucky, he got a short glimpse of his mother from below the balcony or through the window. His eyes follow her longingly, ever so hopeful that she would turn around and look at him just once. Yet she simply walked straight ahead and her back view vanished from his sight as she hurried to her next destination. Those few seconds would be the last of her that the young prince gets to see for a whole week.

Reiner refused to believe that this is how his life will be. If his mother didn’t come to him, then he will go to his mother. How will he make that happen then? Reiner obviously couldn’t ask his servants. The other Clan Leaders and nobles were in no position to authorize such a thing either. And his own father Razark seemed to avoid answering his questions that hinted towards wanting him to be the bridge for him to meet his mother. If he couldn’t get realistic help, then he’d come up with something on his own. Reiner pondered for some time. Then he came up with a genius idea. What he did not realize at this point was that this would go on to be a complete disaster and the first major traumatic event of his life that would permanently change him.

So Reiner snuck into one of Raskreia’s offices when she wasn’t there. Earlier, he happened to overhear one of her secretaries talk to a colleague about their Lord’s next meeting and the documents she had prepared for it. The perfect opportunity. With a bit of searching and standing on his little tiptoes, Reiner was able to find exactly what he was searching for. He took out the crayons he stuffed in his pockets and scribbled something on the papers. Then he carefully closed the documents and put them back where he found them, hoping that Raskreia would be overjoyed to see what he had prepared for her. And it’ll happen very soon, because she’ll be opening those documents for her next meeting. Reiner was very proud of himself. He left her office with a big smile on his face and went home in anticipation of good news.

The time came. The Lord summoned her subjects to their scheduled meeting and her secretary passed the documents into her hands. Raskreia opened the folder and… instead of words on paper, as it should’ve been, her eyes met a colorful scribbly mess. She was shocked and confused, and wondered who on earth dared to mess with the Lord. It couldn’t have been one of her secretaries or assistants, because they were dutiful and dared not to tamper with their Lord’s belongings, let alone meeting documents they knew their Lord had prepared to present. Then Raskreia took a closer look at the scribbles and finally pieced together what it attempts to depict. It was more than intentional, and the culprit did not mean to stay hidden at all. It was even a deliberate effort to catch her attention. Right there on the paper was a childish crayon drawing of three figures holding hands on a flower field, with “I love my family” and “I miss my Mama” written below. As badly drawn as it was, Raskreia had an idea of who these figures were meant to depict. The smaller one stood in the middle, smiling happily, and to his left a taller one, drawn with a black crayon. Then to his right an even taller one drawn in yellow. This was exactly what she suspected it to be. It had to be. The other nobles at the meeting were shocked as well, but before they could fully comprehend the situation, Raskreia’s aura suddenly exploded into the air like a shockwave and the office was heavy and drenched in her rage. The walls and ceiling began to shake and pieces fell to the ground where cracks had formed. All the nobles dared not to talk and nervously held their heads low in response to their Lord’s wrath. They were not sure if the Lord’s anger was directed at them. But Raskreia had someone else in mind, one she realized she had failed to discipline. …Reiner.

She immediately summoned her son through their mind link, but it was done so forcefully, all the nobles within a few kilometers heard her and felt her fearsome tone. And of course Reiner did not anticipate this reaction. He had imagined that if his mother does summon him, she would invite him in, give him praise, and hug him while telling him she’ll never leave him alone again, and from now on they’ll spend a lot of time together. He daydreamed that his little drawing would melt her heart and make her realize how much he loved her as her son, in hopes that she’d reciprocate his affection. Except… the final result was the complete opposite. The Lord was livid. Reiner dreaded the entire walk to his mother’s office, and he could feel his legs shaking and telling him to turn around and run away. He was panic-stricken, his fingers went cold and his limbs tensed up. Then he stepped into her office. There was no warm welcome, no greeting, no interaction between mother and son. Oddly enough, his mother did not reprimand him. There was nothing to break the dreadful silence in the room. And perhaps that silence was much worse than his mother yelling at him. Then Reiner’s memories blur. To this day, Reiner is not able to recall what happened after, as it was too traumatic for his little brain to fully process at that time. The only thing he can vividly recreate in his mind is the scene of a dark room. There was no sunlight, as the clouds had darkened, and candles blown out. And in the darkness, Reiner saw his own reflection inside two glowing crimson orbs of coldness and fury. His legs would not stop shaking despite his every effort to stay still in front his Lord. And then it hit him. In this moment, he was no longer her son. He was a criminal. Reiner can’t recall anything else. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to. Any attempt to do so would be a ruthless act of reopening the deep scar inside his little heart, and he doesn’t need to hurt himself any further. Perhaps he even tries to suppress this event to the best of his ability in an attempt to completely forget it, which he does to no avail.

Reiner’s memories only resume its tracks at him being punished to a week of solitude inside his room. Messing with the Lord’s belongings usually warrants a much harsher punishment, but Reiner was only a small child. Even a week of a being left alone was too harsh on him. But the Lord would not have it otherwise. And for the entire week, Reiner sulked and curled up in the corner. He didn’t even notice day and night passing by. Seven days felt like seven years. He did not understand why his mother was so angry. If fact, he had never seen his mother like this in his entire life. Reiner felt something for the first time. He had no place in her heart; of the one he loved so, so much. His mother wanted to disown him, and his Lord wanted to execute him. And of course that would be untrue and very delusional, because no Lord would ever do that over something so trivial. Reiner was just overthinking. But in the midst of the mess, that was all he could comprehend with his little mind. He will never be Raskreia’s priority. Compared to everything else she had to do, he was a nobody. Nothing. He was her subject, but he was no son to her. Lukedonia needed her, and he needed her as well. She chose the former. Then Reiner woke up from his illusions. She would never approve of him no matter how hard he tried. Receiving her unconditional love was just as much of a myth as humans dreamed of mermaids and dragons.

And for the first time in Reiner’s life, he cried. He sobbed. His wails echoed through his room, and no one was there to hear him. Then Reiner calmed down. Once again, Reiner stood in front of the mirror. This is the second promise he makes to himself. Except this time, he swore to himself that from now own, he will never call her his mother again. He can’t be greedy or selfish anymore. She will only be the Lord. His Lord. And he will be her subject. Nothing more. This would be the first and last time Reiner ever cries.

Reiner’s punishment came to an end when Razark unlocked and opened the door. Reiner could’ve broken himself out of solitude if that had been what he desired, but he was responsible and accepted his punishment. Furthermore, he would just upset his Lord again, and she’d have to punish him once more. Father and son did not greet each other verbally upon their meeting. Slowly, Razark approached his son, who sulked on the floor, and sat down next to him. He gently stroked Reiner’s head with one of his hands as he held something in the other. “This is for you, my son. Do you want to take a look?” He said in a soft voice, and his low-spirited son lifted his head slowly. Razark passed the box to Reiner. It was a plain, black box. Reiner opened the box and he was greeted by a small handwritten card inside that read “To Aretis Verja Di Reiner”. It was his Lord’s handwriting. Reiner carefully picked up the card and flipped it over, but he found no other text. It was just his name. Then Razark gestured to his son to take a look at the content. Inside the box were two items.

The first item was a thick envelope that held many copies of the same form. Reiner took one out and read it carefully. It was a form for an official request to meet the Lord in person. The standard procedure. This was Raskreia’s way of telling her son that if he wanted to meet her, he had to submit a request just like everyone else to ask for her audience. Essentially, Raskreia was reminding her son that he was no exception, even if he’s the prince. But this was also an invitation, in a sense. Reiner, albeit in a less desirable manner, had successfully conveyed to Raskreia that he wanted more private time with her as her son. And Raskreia responded, even if it she did it in a confusing way. She basically reached out Reiner from her end. Sure, it was strange, but it sure was something. A proof of her efforts. If Reiner wanted to spent time with the Lord, he could fill out a form and deliver it to one of her secretaries, and they would then add it to one of her many piles of forms to approve. If she approves Reiner’s request, he will get a chance to meet her. What an overcomplicated and unnecessary process of parent-child bonding.

The second item was a toy. It was a small, fluffy black teddy bear with red gems embedded into its eyes. Reiner was perplexed. Was this… Raskreia’s attempt to apologize to him? He could not be certain, but he had a feeling that Raskreia intended for this to be her substitute for when she isn’t around. This teddy bear was to serve as her replacement for when he missed her. Reiner was not sure on how this was supposed to make him feel. He doesn’t even like teddy bears, or toys in general. So far the Lord had spent so little time with him in his life, she wasn’t even aware of his preferences for things. Still, this teddy bear had a very significant meaning to it, as it was the first gift his Lord had ever given him. It was an item with great sentimental value, despite being one laced with sorrow and regret. To this day, Reiner has this teddy bear stored inside a thrice secured display cabinet inside his room. It sits inside a sturdy glass case, fixed with a complicated maze lock, all encased inside a layer of Ludis’ special barrier charm. It will never leave his residence, let alone his room. Every now and then, Reiner would take it out to play with it, and lock it back up when he’s done. The maids are not allowed to go near the cabinet, as Reiner stated that he will do the cleaning it himself. They would stay loyal to this order of his even after his departure from Lukedonia. Funny enough, Reiner never names this teddy bear, probably in fear that it would come alive if he did.

We move on from Reiner’s early childhood to his teen years and early adulthood. Reiner attends his lessons as usual, and performs his duties as prince. But before we dive into that part of his story, I want to talk about the deal with his parents first.

Raskreia. Truth is, Reiner is not entirely correct with his assumptions about what his existence means to his mother. In fact, he is very wrong. It is not his fault either, because anyone would’ve guessed something similar if they were in his shoes. Raskreia does genuinely love her son. She has loved Reiner since he was born, and she still loves him after his eventual departure from Lukedonia. He has always been her little one, and he’ll always be. He has a permanent place in her heart. But Raskreia also struggles to express herself. This is Raskreia’s biggest flaw as a parent. Raskreia’s sense of pride and the need to uphold her position as Lord even with her family hurts her relationship with her son very much. Just as much as her son misses her, she misses her son. The feeling was mutual, yet Raskreia never acted upon it. She couldn’t. She had a standard she had to uphold as Lord, and that is to stay faithful to her duties and to not let herself be distracted by other elements, especially considering all the mess they and the noblesse had to deal with in the past millennia. They had to stay alert, and Raskreia as Lord was busier than ever. She must lead her people and respond to them in a timely manner. She had to be professional, even if it means ignoring her own son unless he has a dire emergency, which he does not. At least from her perspective. Reiner is more desperate than ever.

Raskreia simply could not dedicate time to her son on a regular basis. That’s why the request-to-meet forms are there for him. She cannot promise him her guaranteed presence, but she’d approve of it when she can. Maybe thirty minutes at a time. That is her limit. Maybe twenty, or ten, if she really can’t squeeze more in. Occasionally, she’d have an hour for him, though that is an extremely rare luxury.

And… She needs to prepare her son for the position of Lord. Yes, Reiner has a family, but most importantly, he has a duty to all the nobles in this land who will require his leadership one day. He does not have an option. This is the fate that he is destined to carry on his shoulders since his birth. It wasn’t Reiner’s fault for being a needy child, a normal child who needed love and affection to thrive. Except Reiner is also Lukedonia’s prince. He needs to learn to put his personal needs below the duties to which he is tied, even if it means setting his own important feelings aside. That is an essential skill a Lord’s successor needs to master. Raskreia can’t just grant her son’s every wish. She doesn’t shut him out completely, but she also keeps some distance from him. She can’t let him be too attached to her, as that would be unfavorable in the long run for him as future Lord. She will only respond to him when he asks for her, but she’ll never be the first one the reach out if he doesn’t ask. It would be cruel to Reiner if he got to see his mother as often as he liked while knowing that he has to detach himself from her one day.

Regarding the doodle incident, Raskreia was actually… touched by her son’s efforts, as a mother. She understood her son’s love for her. But as Lord, she couldn’t show it. She had to maintain her professionalism. What was seemingly a touching gift from son to mother, was in reality a very disrespectful disruption of her work. Little Reiner trespassed, and vandalized official documents. As touched as she was, she couldn’t encourage that behavior. It just wasn’t acceptable. She had to address the situation and issue her son’s punishments accordingly. Everything was decided by the book. She had to show her fellow nobles that she was fair, and that she does not condone misbehavior from anyone. Their Prince was no exception. That is all.

What they do not know is that Raskreia didn’t dispose of those documents. In fact, she has them locked away somewhere with a protection charm to keep the crayon’s colors from fading over time. She had to be angry with him, but… she treasured this gesture as well. Every now and then, she’d take out the drawing and stare at it, and then lock it back up. You can say that they really are mother and son, despite their challenges and differences.

Raskreia would continue to remain mostly uninvolved in Reiner’s live for as long as he’s still in Lukedonia. The two of them would go on to never resolve their issues verbally, and despite their love for one another, the miscommunication and misunderstandings would only continue to snowball into bigger messes. Their relationship is very, very strained but neither wants to be the first to initiate a reconciliation, nor is any one of them willing to let go of their own sense pride. Deep down, both of them yearn for each other’s love so, so much, but their own issues mixed together with reluctancy on certain things just makes matters worse.

Razark. Reiner’s functionally “only” parental figure in his life, and the healthier one of the two that he technically has. He’s actively involved in Reiner’s life as his father and mentor, as he’s free thanks to passing his title (and soul weapon) to Rael. He entertains and keeps Reiner company. He’s really trying his best to be Reiner’s father. Except… Razark’s efforts has its limits. In fact, the older Reiner gets, the less helpful Razark is and he actually starts to hurt his son unintentionally, with Reiner eventually losing trust in not only his mother and Lord, but in his father as well. Yeah. It’s angsty. We’ll have to look into Razark’s relationship with Raskreia for an answer. The two of them are a loving couple, even if they don’t appear such way in public. As emotionless as their faces may be, they are quite affectionate when they’re by themselves. People just don’t get to see this side of them. Razark’s official title is the Lord’s spouse. He is a responsible husband who takes care of their son, and manages the household in Raskreia’s place. But he is also Raskreia’s subject. One of her many, many subjects. The nobles are all loyal to her. Amongst them, Razark stands out as exceptionally loyal. Maybe even too loyal. And this loyalty would prove to be detrimental to their son. You see, Razark enables Raskreia’s behavior, even if he himself is unaware of it. Not once had he attempted to intervene Raskreia’s way of “parenting” their son. Giving her suggestions, telling her what she’s lacking, encouraging her to see their son more often, reminding her that their son is still their son before he is the prince, etc… none of that. As a husband and father, it would be logical for him to do that. As a subject, that would be questioning his Lord’s decisions with her heir. Not their son, but her heir, and that would be mighty disrespectful. And it’s not that Razark is refraining from communicating with her. These things simply never crossed Razark’s mind. His blinding loyalty to his wife and Lord means that he never questions any of her decisions, including ones involving their son. He will stand by Raskreia’s beliefs, because she is always right. She is their Lord, after all. And the Lord is meant to be followed without question. You can assume how this goes. Razark is supportive of his son, but he never tries to get Raskreia to notice him more. He knows that Reiner is lonely, but never addresses the direct cause of his unhappiness. All these years, he never stood up for Reiner, even when he very much should’ve. Always on the sidelines, watching Raskreia handle their son as she pleased. In a way, Razark is just as guilty as Raskreia. He put his Lord before his son, even if he is oblivious to this fact. He just deals with the aftermath regarding Reiner, and never takes on the role of actively supporting Reiner by being the change his son needs. And Reiner could not ask his father to help him, as he was in no place to challenge his father’s loyalty and decision to unconditionally follow their Lord.

At this point, Reiner doesn’t know if he trusts his parents anymore. He still loves them very much, but he can’t put his full trust in them. This love would go on to be very twisted, especially for his mother. Reiner loves her just as much as he loathes her. As for Razark, Reiner is grateful to him for being the father who raised him, but he is also disappointed in him for never standing up to his mother for him. He does feel like his father betrayed him, in a sense. Poor boy.

Back to a now older teen/young adult Reiner. Reiner is busy with lessons and successor training as usual. He has a lot less free time than other nobles of the same age, but he still has some to himself. Despite Reiner’s wounds from his parents and rather unideal childhood, he is still the kind and generous child he has always been. He still helps ordinary nobles with their mundane tasks, and enjoys interacting with them. His passion in people miraculously stayed unaffected despite his circumstances. Because Reiner is so busy, he shows up less frequently. Nevertheless, he manages to not miss out on being there for his people because he promised that he’ll come. The nobles are extremely honored and grateful that their prince makes an effort to interact with them despite being so busy, in awe that he insists on dedicating the remainder of his scarce free time to them. He probably has much more important matters to attend to, they think. But what they don’t know is that mingling with his people is his passion and, ultimately, what it means to be prince. The current Lord goes around to assigning tasks to people and they are meant to follow her without question. And Reiner? He believes he should be one of his people. Not as future Lord, not as Prince Reiner, but just Reiner. He is in a position higher than any of them, and for this exact reason, he is also responsible for their well being. That means doing so by walking along the ordinary people to understand what they really need in life, and not by sitting on the throne giving order after order. To Reiner, the position of Lord is more symbolic than it is technical. That is why Reiner is so active with doing good for the community.

Unfortunately, it is time for Reiner’s lessons to be taken to a further step. Raskreia updates her son’s training regimen and his lessons are even longer and more intense than before. In addition to individual tutors teaching him different subjects, he is now also obliged to attend lessons aimed at simulating real-life Lord meetings, tasks, and discussions. Basically, he has a seminar group assigned to him, with all of his mentors carefully hand-picked by none other than the Lord herself. The roster is made up of her most loyal followers whom she trusts to shape Reiner into the Lord she thinks he needs to be. This is Raskreia saying that Reiner is ready to move onto the next phase of his life. Reiner is not too happy about this change, but he follows the Lord’s orders without complaints. He doesn’t appreciate how her assistants now follow him around even during his free time to remind him that it is time for him to go back indoors to attend his lessons. He can tell time by himself; he doesn’t need the Lord’s little lackeys to interrupt him when he’s washing herbs and have them drag him out of the garden while telling him that he’ll be late if he doesn’t leave soon, and that princes do not engage themselves in such shallow matters. Sigh. The Lord is so overbearing even when she isn’t here.

Reiner is back indoors and ready for his mock conference. His mentors have high expectations for him, as he had shown that he is capable of academic success through his childhood accomplishments. Except this is where things don’t go smoothly anymore. His mentors would present him with hypothetical scenarios and ask him what he would do, and Reiner’s answers always contradicted what was expected of him. He told them that the throne is meant to be shared, and it did not belong to one person just because they were born into the position. He argued that the throne should only be a symbol of leadership and not a source of power that lets one decide the fates of others, and that people should get to decide on things as a group. Not just Clan Leaders, but ordinary people as well. This would confuse his mentors very much, and Reiner would explain to them that a healthy nation does not let the decision of one overshadow the decision of all others. His mentors were in disbelief, and scolded their prince for playing a humorless prank during such a formal lesson. Unfortunately for them, Reiner is dead serious. They don’t believe him. No one wants to listen to him. It makes sense. They are the Lord’s loyalists, after all. They aren’t having it otherwise. They seem to be satisfied when Reiner gives them the standard answer, the one they want to hear. So they’re not here for discussion, they’re just here to put words into his mouth, Reiner thinks. But Reiner knows better than to argue with them, so he stops speaking for himself, and submits to the suffocating echo chamber. His unhappiness and frustration intensified. So did his resentment towards the stubborn Lukedonian laws and traditions. His bitterness towards the system would plant a seed of rebellion in his heart that he himself did not even realize was growing inside of him.

Things weren’t any better on the training grounds. From Raskreia’s assistants’ judgement of Reiner’s progress, he leaned too much towards defensive fighting. In other words, he was lacking in offense. But that is just how Reiner fights, and it comes most naturally to him. The Lord thinks otherwise. So, she pulls out his mentors who specialized in defense and replaces them with offensive fighters. They are faster, more aggressive, and do not hesitate to land unforgiving blows on their prince. This transition was a little too abrupt for Reiner, as he had almost no room to allow himself to get used to this new type of fighting. His new mentors are also much less lenient than his old mentors. They are much harsher with Reiner’s perceived lack of improvement. This would lead to the second major traumatic event in Reiner’s life, where he fails a fighting test and gets pushed too much and ends up almost dying from his wounds. Healers from the Volo Clan had to be called in to address his injuries. As Reiner laid down on the ground groaning in pain, one of the Lord’s assistants monitoring the training grounds simply walked over, and in an flat tone, informed their prince that “The Lord intends to remind you that in a real battleground, not only would your enemies not spare you, they would also kill you.” Wow. How cold. Not even a word of care or concern. As usual, the Lord doesn’t bother to show up to check in on her severely injured son. This would only go on to twist Reiner’s view of the Lord even more. He continues to suppress his feelings and follows her orders without question. He changes his fighting style to be more offensive even if it is difficult and unnatural for him.

He won’t say anything. He can’t say anything. He has to be a good son and a good prince. If following in his Lord’s footsteps is his destiny then… he’ll do so. He won’t ask questions anymore. He’ll stop resisting.

His Lord’s wish is his command.

For this reason, Reiner never brings up any of his concerns during his one-to-one meetings with Raskreia, the “submit a request and wait for approval” mother-son bonding time. The two of them would just awkwardly sit across from each other. Just silence. Occasionally, they’d talk about the weather. But that’s it. Reiner also finds it hard to look at the Lord in the eyes, so he just looks to the ground, only meeting her eye to eye when he answers one of her boring, awkward questions. And they’d continue to sit like that, until time is over and Raskreia has other guests to see. Reiner would always leave feeling bitter. Yet he never stops submitting his request forms, because that would mean that he had given up on facing her and that he had lost his battle with himself. He’s not afraid of her. Nope. Impossible. What a spectacular, twisted love and sense of pride.

As time went on, Reiner started to feel numb. He stops standing up for himself. He simply does what is asked of him. Only a husk of him remains now. Even his passion in his people started to dwindle. He still loves them with all his heart, and wants to be a part of them very badly, but his energy levels are no longer enough to sustain himself. Reiner is being drained from the inside out, and he could feel the few remaining ounces of motivation slowly leave his body. He wants to care, but can’t care anymore. He doesn’t even care about himself; what does he have to spare for the others?

Reiner has finally cracked from the pressure of being the perfect prince.

Gradually, Reiner’s progress slowed down. He still shows up to all his lessons, but he can’t quite keep up with the pace anymore. He really is trying his best. He’s doing everything correctly, yet he’s failing. Reiner is depressed. As usual, Raskreia’s assistants report back to her. Her response? Tells him to pick himself back up and return to normal. A future Lord does not have time for this. The Lord doesn’t care, she never has, she never will, Reiner thinks. Raskreia’s way is easier said than done. Reiner is already very stressed out. His Lord is only adding fuel to fire.

Reiner develops many unhealthy habits as a response to stress.

He pulls his hair out when he feels nervous. He’d run his fingers through his hair, twirl around for a bit, and yank on it forcefully. It hurt, but the pain eased his anxiety a little.

Reiner also started to talk to himself. A lot. He’d talk to himself when he’s studying, when he’s running errands, when he’s sitting still… he just couldn’t be left alone with himself. He is unable to be at peace with his own presence, and has to fill the empty space with his voice. The silence was too heavy as if it would crush him. The things he says are mostly self-deprecating phrases. Not smart enough, not fast enough, not strong enough. Too weak, both physically and emotionally. Too easy to fall under pressure. Can’t handle anything. Reiner constantly belittles himself. Again, it barely eases his discomfort.

Sometimes Reiner would also stand in front a mirror and tell himself to cry. Crying makes people feel better, he says. Try it. He’d lean forward so his forehead presses against the mirror. No matter how hard he stares at his reflection or how much he shames himself for not being able to be honest with himself, the tears just won’t come out. And he’d try and try and try and fail every single time. He’s too tired to even cry.

Reiner is also constantly in pain. His neck, shoulders, arms… his entire body is constantly aching. His muscles hurt. This is caused by him not being able to relax. He’s always alert and anxious, as if the Lord is behind his back watching his every move. He has to stay in posture, to be respectful and to not be a disappointment. It doesn’t help when Reiner would sometimes even hear her voice inside his head telling him that he’s a failure of a prince, and that Lukedonia cannot be entrusted to him. Shut up, shut up, please leave me alone, Reiner dreads. Inaudible painful whimpers would make their way out despite Reiner clenching his jaw as hard as he can as to seal away his sorrow.

Reiner’s would-be paranoia also lead him to suppressing his aura routinely. He doesn’t even realize he is doing this. It’s not perfect, but it’s enough for him to go unnoticed by your average noble in an average situation. He’s of the Lord’s lineage, so of course by nature he has a very strong aura. To Reiner, this is a curse. It’s like blasting his arrival, wherever he goes, on loud speakers. So he does as he needs to counter that. The only thing he wants to do now is to lie low and stay unnoticed. He doesn’t want to draw any attention to him. Even positive attention is undesirable. Reiner’s subconscious wants to make himself as small as possible as part of his defense mechanism. Unfortunately for him, he is still detectable, and he has to maintain his weak, forced smile in public. Doesn’t help that Raskreia has now assigned him to greet werewolf and human diplomats as part of his new duties as a public figure. It is nothing but torture to Reiner.

Reiner’s free time is now spent either alone and locked up in his room, repeating self-deprecating phrases over and over to himself, or he’s with his maternal grandmother Desdemona. Only she truly understands him. But even she chooses to lurk in the shadows, so she can’t keep him company unless he goes to her. At this point, Reiner is reluctant to spend time even with Razark, because he’d just be reminded that this man is his mother’s enabler. Razark doesn’t understand why his son is not enthusiastic about father-son bonding anymore. Reiner would just tell him that he’s busy with studies. To be honest, he can’t stand his father.

Reiner also can’t stand his mother. His paranoia worsens. The thought of her alone is enough to send him into a panic attack. Like Reiner has always done, he doesn’t seek help from anyone. He just locks himself up until he calms down. Poor Reiner doesn’t know how to ask for help.

As soon as Reiner became old enough to have to some power over the household, the first thing he ordered was to renovate everything he owned. His study, his bedroom, etc. Everything that reminded him of his Lord, his classrooms, and general sources of discomfort, were to be thrown out or torn down and rebuilt from scratch. Even just seeing the same wallpaper pattern is enough to cause a panic attack. Reiner still has to go outside to attend class and perform his duties, but at least he doesn’t have to be reminded of them when he’s at home.

Reiner ordered his servants to burn everything they threw out and tore down. He wanted no trace of any of it. Curiously, the teddy bear his Lord gave him in his childhood was spared. Reiner precisely ordered them to leave it alone. That stays. Everything else goes.

Renovating his surroundings would only help to a certain extent. It did not remove the source of his pain, to his dismay.

Reiner is dying. He is alive, but his soul feels like it is disintegrating. He doesn’t even know who he is anymore.

One faithful day, on one of Reiner’s temporary escapes from reality, he visits Grandma Desdemona who lurked in the shadows. She suggests to him the option of leaving Lukedonia permanently. Huh. That’s impossible. It’ll be a huge crime and act of betrayal. Grandma just shrugs and says you won’t know what’s best for you unless you try. Reiner pretends that he didn’t hear anything. But this single piece of seemingly absurd and impossible suggestion would be an important catalyst to his ultimate choice. Remember the seed of rebellion inside his heart? Mhm.

Reiner can’t get Mona’s words out of his head. Whenever he’s in a difficult situation, he’d think about it. He would still hear Raskreia’s voice in his head due to his paranoia, but her voice would be overridden by that of his grandmother’s. “You can always leave this place.” She says. With repetition, the impossible becomes possible. Soon enough, Reiner was considering leaving his home forever. To the unknown, to faraway land. He feared the possibilities, but he was also hopeful. He hadn’t felt hope since his childhood. Then Reiner realized that he didn’t have to figuratively kill himself to become the Lord everyone expects him to.

And what does being Lord even mean to Reiner? Once he becomes Lord, he’ll be permanently separated from his people by an intangible barrier. He’ll no longer be Reiner, and he’ll only be known as the Lord. No more being with the people. He’ll be imprisoned to his throne for all eternity, until his hypothetical future heir is old enough for him to abdicate or he enters eternal sleep. To his core, Reiner believed in a democracy. It didn’t matter if none of his Lord ancestors established one. Someone needs to be the change. The first. And he doesn’t want to wait until Raskreia steps down to see this happen. Perhaps due to Reiner’s now realistic option of leaving Lukedonia, he is more daring. His childhood dreams and passions felt like they have returned, and though not to their full extent, it was the push he needed.

Then Reiner decided. He doesn’t want to be “Lord” anymore. He doesn’t want to be Prince. He doesn’t even want to be Reiner anymore. If giving up his identity means that he could have one single shot at changing Lukedonia, he’d risk it. If he can’t have a democracy, then he doesn’t want any of this. This land and everything he had ever known since his birth… he’d give it up. Reiner already has a very estranged relationship with Raskreia, and there is no hope for reconciliation despite their love for one another. It has to be him, or her. This land cannot tolerate both of them at once.

It took Reiner centuries of preparation, from Mona’s initial suggestion to his final decision. Most of this time was spent saying goodbye to everything he loved. The grass, the trees, the mountains. He’ll miss the way seasons change. The blooming flowers, the falling snow. The way sunrise illuminated and colored the land. The way the sea reflected the beautiful moon. The singing birds, the fluttering butterflies. It’ll never be the same outside Lukedonia. And… the people. His family. His friends. His acquaintances. It brings him great sorrow to think that he’ll have to part from all of them, and that he’ll never get to see any of them again for all of eternity. He’ll never stop loving them no matter how hard he tries to put his love for them to an end. As soon as he thinks he has gotten over them, his emotions flow back. This just makes him want to cry, despite being unable to.

Razark is glad that his son seems to feel a bit better. After all, Reiner went on walks more often and started hanging out with people again. He looked like he was returning to his old self. What Razark does not realize is that this sudden boost of optimism is his son saying his last goodbyes to his home.

No one realized.

To say that everyone in Lukedonia totally agrees with Raskreia would be false. Of course, they have to look like they agree with her, at least on the surface. She is their Lord, and they have to live as she intends them to. This is what Reiner doesn’t like. His vision of an ideal Lukedonia is one where no one is afraid to speak their mind, where everyone could have input on how to live. The title of Lord is only there for symbolic and spiritual reasons. Reiner wanted freedom for everyone. Freedom to live as they wish, freedom to enter and leave Lukedonia as they please, freedom to not be held back by the decisions of a single person… Reiner can only dream about it. Reiner knew how his people felt. He isn’t the only one with depression and anxiety. While many are indeed satisfied with life here, some thought otherwise. Reiner spent time with them, got their trust, and they talked to him. Reiner asked them why they didn’t pursue the things that they wanted to, and they always answered “Because it’s just how it is.” Who gets to say anyway?

So Reiner went around and asked more questions. Soon, he was certain that many of them felt exactly the same way. If he’s going to give it a shot, he might as well do his best and gather all the resources he can find. Reiner needed supporters to back him up. Even if his chance of changing Raskreia’s mind is near 0%, it could help. Who knows. Nobody knows for sure. But it was an option. Reiner worked hard to gather people who were seemingly willing to support his cause. They all agreed with his ideals and dreams. However, Reiner does not tell them that he plans to enter the throne room and give a speech in front of the Lord and her audience, at least not until a few hours prior. Everyone who initially agreed with him suddenly panicked. This was far too aggressive and rebellious. Unlike Reiner, they had more important things to lose. They did not expect Reiner to be so upfront about his attempt to change Raskreia’s mind. Then… his supporters left. They apologized, told him this was impossible, and disappeared in a hurry. To be labeled as a traitor was the last thing they wanted. All of a sudden, Reiner was alone again. But it was too late go back on his plans. Reiner is determined, and he is going to get this done regardless of whether he had supporters or not.

So it will be done. Reiner takes a deep breath, and straightens his back. He walks towards the throne room steadily. He is afraid, yes, but he is dedicated to his cause. Nothing will stop him now. He pushes open the door and barges into the throne room despite the guards begging him not to, and interrupts Raskreia and her nobles. The throne room went silent. Then, Reiner gives his speech. After his closing sentence trailed off, no one reacted. Then, Raskreia’s voice breaks the silence, just as everyone dreaded her reaction. Curiously, she does not arrest Reiner on the spot, nor does she order him to apologize to her this instant. She orders him to go back to his residence immediately, and to not leave until she comes to him. They will have a very long discussion there. For now, no more words shall be spoken in the throne room.

And this is when Reiner knew he failed. The Lord kept calm for the sake of her audience. He knows that look on her face. Those same eyes. Reiner could feel the world collapse on him. So his one shot failed, he thinks. But it’s alright. He saw this coming. He shouldn’t have expected anything anyway.

Reiner tells Lord he’d obey her wishes for him to wait for her to come to him. Raskreia’s guards come to escort him out of the throne him and they are about to deliver him to his residence. Except Reiner asks the Lord for one last favor. He wishes to meet his grandmother before he goes back to his residence. Oddly, Raskreia does not refuse this request, and grants him permission. Reiner would then go to say his goodbyes to Mona while the guards waited outside. That is where she gives him her magic ring, and then they part for good.

Reiner is escorted to his room. But he’s not done. He would proceed to disobey Raskreia one last time. As soon as he got a cue from her alliance, he acted right away. Grandma Mona is more than smart enough to sneak Reiner out of Lukedonia without Raskreia knowing, and she has her own group of followers. Even if Mona doesn’t tell Reiner exactly what will happen, she gives him a few clues. This is his chance to leave. After bypassing Raskreia’s guards, Reiner runs through the forest, and through the mountains. Mona had cleared the path for him. No guards in sight. Then he reaches the border at the sea, where he confirms that a small portion of Lukedonia’s barrier had been deactivated in a timely manner, and it will close up very soon. Reiner runs towards the opening at full speed and… it’s been done. He’s done. He’s no longer in Lukedonia. He ran, and he ran, and he ran. He does not look back. He can’t look back.

And into the horizon he vanished.

It didn’t take long for Raskreia to realize that her son had run away. She immediately dispatches a search party to go after him. Then Raskreia summons everyone in the most urgent manner, and announces that Reiner is now a traitor to Lukedonia, and that he is being hunted after. If anyone spots him, they need to deliver him to her immediately. They cannot hide him or assist him in evading her, unless they want to be labeled as a traitor as well. She then issues the most severe punishment to her son, for abandoning his identity as future Lord, and for betraying her. He had multiple treason accusations on him. There was no expression on Raskreia’s face as she uttered everyone’s most dreaded words: death penalty.

For this first time ever, Razark broke down into a sob. No one had ever seen him cry before, until this moment. He couldn’t control himself anymore. After Raskreia dispersed the crowd, he went to her crying and begging for her to rescind her prosecution of their son. There just has to be another way. She can’t kill their boy. Raskreia said nothing. She did not even look at her husband in the eye as his sobs echoed through the room. Her decision was final. There is no going back. According to tradition, this is the punishment for Reiner’s crime. Her opinion did not matter. From this moment, he was no longer her son. He was a runaway prince. A fugitive. A criminal.

Raskreia and Razark did not speak to each other for weeks to come.

Truth is, Raskreia sentencing Reiner after he runs away from Lukedonia doesn’t hurt her any less than it hurt Razark. She is just as devastated as he is. Reiner left her with no choice but to carry out Lukedonia’s laws as they had been written since the beginning of time. As a mother, she did not wish to sentence him. As the Lord, she had no choice. She could not show her turmoil to anyone, not even her own husband. She must keep her composure and remain calm despite total chaos. If she showed any signs of hesitation, she would fail as Lord.

On the one hand, Raskreia’s end goal is to catch Reiner so he meets the fate he deserves. On the other hand, she hopes that Reiner will run far, far away; so far away she will never catch him for all eternity. She needed to execute the traitor and former Prince Reiner, but she wanted Reiner to live. The thought of executing her own son tormented her more than anyone else; her little boy whom she had neglected all these years. The best she can do is to pray that her search party never finds Reiner, despite being the one who is sending them after him. May the two of them never meet again.

“Regrets are an extravagant emotion to me.” As the noblesse once said.

To this day, Raskreia visits her father’s grave every so often and asks for his forgiveness on what she had done, and wishes that Reiner eventually finds his peace.

And that’s the end! Woohoo! There’s a lot more to come, and I’ll leave that to future posts. This includes Raegyn’s deal with Reiner, Garyth’s crush on Reiner, and much more. My prince boy is just so angsty lol.

A small spoiler for now: Reiner currently lives with his distant cousin Oswald Kravei. So fun!

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for the next long character post!

See you again!

#noblesse #manhwa #myart #oc #original character #millennium au #aretis verja di reiner #never getting enough of that angst lol

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