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ramp-it-up · 2 months ago

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Sugar, Cubed

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Summary: I revisited Sugar and the boys from the Sugar is Sweet séries, and let me tell you. Bucky and Steve sure have grown up from their college days. They are no longer playing around. And they are coming for you. How do you choose? And do you have to?

Word Count: 3.5K

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader; boss Tony Stark x reader

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Not Beta’d. Read at your own risk. Roommate/Co-worker au, S MUT! Angst, little bit of slow burn. Main character injury, allusions to sex, sexual tension, indecent proposal, caught between two lovers trope, idiots in love, Tony being Tony, truth or dare, talk of voyeruism, possibility of group sex, eventual polyandry.

A/N: This is related to the Sugar is Sweet au, but can be read alone. This is part one, part two will be posted next week. I hope you like it. This is part of Falloween 2024.

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——

You met the two most hated men in your life while you were living together as recipients of the prestigious Stark STEM Fellowship at NYU.

There was an instant spark when you met James Buchanan Barnes and Steven Grant Rogers, best friends from childhood. They sarcastically named you Sugar because of your initial rudeness, but the nickname just stuck around after you warmed up to them.

In the Stark Fellows program, life was hard work and hard play. Soon it was down to just you, Bucky and Steve, and life was a dream with parties, booze, and almost anything you wanted, as long as you lent your minds to the work.

Tony Stark tolerated anything that would keep productivity high. He knew that all work and no play would make Bucky, Sugar and Steve dull scientists.

So he encouraged you three to play. And funded it too.

Steve and Bucky were so protective of you, their sweet Sugar. The sexual tension that came with living with them was heady stuff.

You basked in the glow of Bucky and Steve's attention, while observant of the lines of partners at their bedroom doors and the competitiveness between the football quarterback and lacrosse captain.

You swore that neither Bucky nor Steve would ever win you, no matter the plays they made. But they each had you sprung in different ways. And they were so damn competitive.

They both wanted your heart.

It was only a matter of time before you gave it to each of them.

You fell hard for Bucky first. And it was urgent and intense.

But after just a year together, Bucky accepted a position with Stark Labs in Bucharest for a term that stretched into two years as he completed grad school at Politehnica. It happened without warning. You were angry at his choice and trapped in New York by your own contract with Stark for graduate work.

You and Bucky were over. And you were heartbroken.

Steve’s waiting arms were open, and it was effortless and freeing to realize that the golden boy was the one who truly loved you. And he’d always been there. Your heart healed. You thought.

According to social media, Bucky seemed to love his new location, extending his contract beyond the initial year-long contract to finish his degree. It seemed that all he did was work.

Not that you were stalking his IG or anything.

He didn’t communicate with you directly, and with Steve only intermittently. It was like he’d erased his best friend and his best girl from his life.

It made sense, since his best girl was now his best friend’s girl.

Then, during his second year, Bucky's stay in Romania was cut short, he came back to New York, although not in the way you imagined.

Bucky had been critically injured; losing a limb. Tony made sure he had the best care, flying with Bucky to Wakanda for experimental surgery and overseeing his recovery.

You found out via a social media after Bucky was back in town, and not from Tony or anyone else.

You were livid.

You raged at Steve, who had lied to you that he had to go to London for two weeks for work when he was actually in Wakanda at Bucky’s bedside.

The betrayal ran deep.

You and Steve were done after that, although you continued to work side by side at the labs. You felt as if Tony was trying to drive you over the edge, having you work around the clock with your ex. But he didn’t care. He had some insane theory that the tension would yield better results.

Each day, you longed for the hour that you could go to your posh new quarters in Stark tower. Although it was lonely, at least your apartment was private, and you could unwind in peace. Your days were tense, but predictable.

Until they weren’t anymore.

——

One afternoon, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you stared into the monitor to watch the results from the latest compound analysis roll numbers across your workstation.

“Hey there, Sugar.”

You froze, looking up and out over Manhattan through the window above your station. You couldn’t believe it, but you saw a pale reflection of him in the mirrored glass.

You slowly turned around.

Bucky looked good, his pale complexion not all the result of the blue gray skies over the Hudson. His face had grown more angular, his hair was shorter, and his eyes seemed older, but outside, he was the same Bucky.

You didn’t know what you were expecting.

Bucky Barnes seemed whole, except his left hand, the “golden arm” that was the pride of Bobcat football, was now black and gold metal.

Vibranium.

You stared at it as it reached for you.

“So I don’t get a hug?”

Your eyes moved to his face while Steve cleared his throat and reminded you that he was there. You tried to forget his existence most days, but Bucky walking into your lab had erased him from your mind completely. For a moment.

“Sugar–”

You cut him off.

“Fuck you, Grant.”

You looked back at Bucky with tears in your eyes.

“And fuck you, James.”

Despite your epithets, you threw yourself into his arms, sobbing with emotion.

“How could you…?”

You whispered it into his suit coat, your fingers digging into the material at his back as you cried into his shoulder. Bucky held you tight against him, and he felt harder, more solid.

You realized that under all of the anger and hurt, you were mainly just relieved that he was alive.

Over two years of anxiety and unprocessed feelings were coming out, and Bucky rocked you as your body heaved. Steve came up behind you and hugged you both.

For a minute you relished the feeling, being held by the only two men that you ever had feelings for. You felt safe. But then you remembered the secrets and the lies, and anger flooded you again. You twisted out of their grasp.

“Don’t get any ideas, assholes.”

You moved away from them and wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly cold.

“Do you know how worried I was? No one gave me any information. At all. I had to find out from social media. I felt like a fool, Bucky.”

You scowled at him.

“And you. You knew that, Cap. And you lied to my fucking face.”

You glared at Steve.

You looked from Steve to Bucky, who shared a guilty glance with each other.

“That’s my fault, Sugar. I– I made Tony and Steve swear not to tell you.”

Your dark haired ex boyfriend looked at his shoes as he rubbed the back of his neck with his new hand. He held it up and looked at it and then at you.

“Didn’t know how you would feel about this.”

You ignored the uncertainty and hurt in his eyes.

"What do you want? A cookie? A pat on the head? A tear? You are not going to make me feel sorry for you. Not when you let everyone else but me in on your secret."

You cocked your head and gazed curiously at the new appendage, then back at him.

“Bucky, I am stronger than you think. And I loved you.”

Both Steve and Bucky winced at the word ‘loved,’ but both for different reasons.

“I would have accepted you anyway you came. And I would have been by your side while you recovered. But you didn’t want that. But it looks as if you’re fine.”

Steve sat back down at his workstation, resigned. You shook your head at him. If it wouldn’t have cost you a million dollars, which you didn’t have, you would have walked out of Stark Industries and moved across the world. But you had work to do.

“You’re interrupting our work here. You need to leave.”

You wanted him away from you like fire.

“That’s what I’m tryna tell you, Doll.”

Bucky strolled over to the locker area and took off his coat, grabbing goggles and a lab coat.

“I’m reporting for duty. Tony assigned me back to the New York lab.”

—-

Tony leaned against the bar in his office, after he downed the drink that he’d offered you and that you’d refused. It was only 10:46 am. You were trying to hand in your resignation. Or at least ask for a transfer to a new location.

“And just where do you think you’re going to go, Sugar?”

You glared at your boss. Bolstered by anger, this was the least intimidated, and most angry, you’d ever been at him.

“Paris, maybe? Tokyo? Hell, even Des Moines. I’ll take anything. I need space.”

Tony shook his head.

“I need you here. The productivity with Barnes back is about to be through the roof.”

You just stared at him incredulously.

“You’re not thinking with your brain. Your heart and what is pounding between your legs are in the way.”

Your mouth dropped open.

“...But the tension between you Barnes and Rogers will make me a lot of money. I’ve studied you since your freshman year. I know what makes you tick, what motivates you to do your best work. And the numbers don’t lie. Being right in the middle of Bucky and Cap makes lots of money for Stark Industries.”

You stared out at the view of New Jersey, outraged.

“Besides. I have the exclusive contract over your mind, body, and soul for the next seven years. Might as well make the most of it.”

You sighed and took the drink Tony offered you this time.

—-

Bucky Barnes was the most infuriating man you’d ever met, second only to Steve Rogers.

Your brain was scrambled when you weren’t working, so you worked that much harder to stay in control. You hated when Tony was right.

Here you were, flanked by two gorgeous men whose work clothes only accentuated their powerful bodies. Bodies that you knew very well. Your tongue had traced every plane of each of them. Your hands explored their broad shoulders and taught, muscular frames. Your fists had clenched their throbbing cocks and you had accepted them inside you.

No matter how mad you were at them, you couldn’t get them out of your mind.

Imagining Bucky crashing his lips to yours as he backed you up against a wall made your core throb. And dreaming about Steve’s hands around your thighs as he lifted you onto a lab table made your nipples tingle.

Working in between them in the lab was torture for your neglected body and soul. You were doomed to work in between the two men who’d fucked you most thoroughly and recently.

You didn’t even want to think about your heart.

You ignored the lingering looks in their blue eyes, the way they gentled their voices when they spoke to you, and the way they tried to come in contact with you for no reason. The number of times fingers lingered over passed specimens, the way space became so tight that they had to squeeze behind you in the lab, and the uncomfortable number of times you ended up between them in the equipment closet made you lose your breath.

Steve and Bucky never pressed you for anything, and all you had to say was ‘excuse me,’ for them to move out of your way, but it was untenable. You would give neither of them the satisfaction of getting upset. You managed made it through work and home to your brand new vibrator every night after long days of fighting their pheromones in the lab.

After a week of forced proximity, you were experiencing the forced Stark Industries Happy Hour. As you waited for your drink at the bar, you thought it strange that Tony had never made them mandatory before Bucky came back. That was quite the coincidence.

You wanted to pace yourself with your drinking as you realized that you had to stay there for another couple of hours to get the bonus that came with attendance. The word ‘happy’ and the names Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers did not go together, so you participated in each round to numb the desire that was plaguing you.

For someone so smart. You were so clueless sometimes.

—-

As you rode the elevator in Stark Tower to your apartment later that evening, it seemed as if the elevator was moving extra slowly. You didn’t know if it was the tequila affecting your senses, or an actual malfunction, so you asked FRIDAY for analytics, but for some reason, she said you didn’t have clearance for the answer.

You were mad and mute for a minute, trying to clear your head for the security code. It was then that one of your fellow passengers, who you were trying to ignore, broke the silence.

“Okay Sugar, truth, or dare?”

You looked at him as Steve watched you both.

“I said, truth, or dare.”

“Truth is Bucky, we’re not kids anymore.”

“So you pick truth. You don’t get to pick the question, though.”

Bucky ignored your ire.

“Which one of our cocks is better, mine or Steve’s?”

Your eyes widened and you gasped as Steve interjected,

“Buck…”

“What, Punk? Remember she rated them before she experienced them. Did that hold out? Or did she tell you that you were the 9.9 too?”

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to watching the floor count, mouth set in a thin line. You had not, in fact, told Steve that he was the 9.9.

“Stop being a little shit, James.”

You were rocked, memories flooding back, dysregulating your nervous system even more.

“So you’re saying you won't answer the truth?”

You crossed your arms and legs as you leaned back against the elevator wall. You looked up at the floor indicator lights, trying to stop the emotions from getting to you.

“You can pass. Or you can take a dare, Sugar.”

You huffed, fighting the urge to just say pass. Some lingering adolescent urge refused to let you.

“This is so fucking ridiculous.”

You spoke it outwardly, but you were talking to yourself, to your riotous body, which was reacting to these two men in this enclosed space in the most alarming way.

Bucky was watching you intently, but Steve hadn’t turned around, just replied in that voice of his.

“Those are the rules, Sugar. You should probably answer the question or take the dare.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath when you realized what this was. You were dealing with male egos and competitiveness. And they wanted to know the answer, hear you talk about their cocks when for some reason the agave gods were making you horny.

You had to get out of there.

“You’re not making stupid bets and putting notches in the bedposts any longer. Bucky, we were together, and then you left. I thought it was something that it was not. Then Steve and I got together. I loved you both and in return, you both played me. You both won.”

Steve turned around and faced you as Bucky advanced closer. He licked his lips and you wanted, no you needed, to run.

“You think I didn’t love you, Sugar? Shit, I worshiped you.”

The sensation of Bucky’s firm body crowding you in bed, taking up the mattress, leg wedged between your thighs while he delivered hot kisses and a slow grind against your clit came out of nowhere. You missed it. You wanted it again. But you lifted your chin as you straightened your spine, determined to resist him.

“You left me.”

“Stark made me!”

Bucky’s blue eyes were wide with emotion.

“‘S’okay Buck. She doesn’t believe I loved her either. Even though I always have. And I caught her when you were gone.”

You looked up at Steve and saw the hurt, and you were preparing not to care, but the feeling of Steve naked against your back, his hands roaming all over you, whispering assurances and praise as he rocked inside and made you come apart in his grip almost made your knees buckle.

You had to move, so you pushed at the rock hard wall of them and they let you move them to get to the elevator controls.

“Why. Won’t. This. Thing. Move!?!?”

You pushed too many buttons at once as Steve and Bucky tried to stop you. The only thing that stopped was the slow progress of the elevator. The small room jolted to a halt, and you stumbled, right into Bucky and Steve’s arms as everything went dark.

“Well now, Sugar. You should have just taken the dare.”

Bucky’s sass enraged you and you cursed and batted their hands away from you as you reached for your purse to find your phone.

—-

A half an hour later, you were all sitting on the floor, Bucky’s jacket beneath you and Steve’s jacket around your arms because the climate control was off. There was no telling how long it would be before someone would find you.

There had been silence since you realized you had not cell phone signal and cursed for 3 minutes straight. You were more than sober now.

God, you wished you were drunk.

“Answer the question. Or take the dare, Sugar.”

This time it was Steve.

“Your fucking competitiveness is so annoying, you know that? Can you two accomplish anything on your own, just for your own pride? Or altruism? Or shits and giggles?”

You could feel their eyes on you in the dark. You fought against them in the darkness, or you were just fighting the darkness, because the lack of sight was enhancing your other senses, and lord you didn’t really want to feel those right now.

“Truth. Or Dare?”

Bucky’s velvet voice was undeterred. You shook your head at it.

“Fine. If it will get you to leave me alone. Dare.”

“I dare you to give up control.”

The response was immediate, as if he were waiting for you to say that.

You groaned, a sound that sounded to sensual, even to your own ears. You were going for annoyed.

“Bucky, it’s late. I’m tired. I’m stuck in an elevator with my two exes. This is a nightmare. And you’re daring me to give up a concept?”

He chuckled.

“Not the concept of control. I think you know exactly what I mean. Give me control. One long weekend. It will be just like when we were roommates. But without the endless teasing and blue balls. This time you give us both that we deserve.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Bucky?”

Your head turned toward Steve, whose voice was on edge.

“I get to watch. You and Sugar, Steve. And direct. And participate…and we find out who is the best…”

“Hold on…”

You could feel Steve shifting in his position on the floor.

“Are you talking about….? Watching me and Sugar… what–?”

“Really Bucky? Do you have a metal brain as well?”

You wanted to fight, but them touching you was out of the question. Bucky was pure chaos.

“If we do this, what would that accomplish?”

“The fuck are you entertaining this nonsense for, Steve? Who the fuck–”

Bucky interrupted your rant.

“Well, you’ve entertained both of us, Sugar, haven’t you? Teased us. Toyed with us. Played us against the other. Wore our clothes and nothing else, slept between us in our bed. Teased us with that body well before we could really do anything about it.”

You dropped your head in your hands, exhausted, as Bucky continued.

“And then, when you finally granted us between your legs, one by one, there was always this spector hanging over the bed, or the floor, or the counter, or the lawn that we fucked on, wasn’t there?”

Bucky paused and you heard the bitterness in his voice.

“The other one of us was always in the closet or the bushes, or in your head, weren’t we?”

"Don't blame me for your twisted predilections, Bucky."

“What about your predilections, Sugar? You’ve played us against each other long enough. Don’t forget. We both know what gets you off.”

Bucky’s voice wrapped around you in the dark, and you wanted to climb on and ride it as your clit began to pulse. You cursed your body’s reaction to him.

“We know what gets you off hard. Steve told me everything. And it was the same as with me. Your fantasies, Sugar…”

Steve spoke up.

“Bucky, this is uncalled for…”.

"Stop being such a boy scout."

“We know you, Sugar. What we don’t know is who you like the best. We deserve to know.”

“Bucky…”

“It would give us all closure, Steve.”

“You’re crazy, Bucky.”

“Put up or shut up, Sugar.”

Suddenly the lights came back on and you scrambled to stand up as the elevator started again, this time moving at normal speed. You looked between one man who was flushed red and the other who had a smirk on his face.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, as you bolted out, you replied to Bucky.

“Why don’t you just fuck each other? That will kill two birds with one stone.”

——

Next part: Simple Sugar

Let me know if you like it! 😊

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 9 months ago

Text

Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Part I

Self-Aware! Flags x GN! Reader

Description: In small towns rumours spread like a wildlife. Especially in an age of Internet .

BSD Cast's presence in your life changed, how other people saw you. Not for the best.

Fears and anxiety eats you up. You are terrified of loosing your new friends, but also feel, that one day, you will be alone again.

After you loose your job, in combine attempt of cheering you up, learning more about real world and came in terms with having fans, Fitzgerald bought all of you a tickets to Anime Expo.

BSD Cast are existed and confused. They want to know, what are you afraid of.

You're nervous and excited. You afraid, that any moment you will make a fool of yourself and they will leave.

You simply hope, that everything will be fine.

Part I Description:

You are trying to get through work day, ignoring rude comments, coming from your co-workers.

Flags don't understand, what is happening to you, and why you allow others to harass you. Either way, they won't allow anyone to upset you.

Warnings: OOC. English is my second language. Forced loneliness in a crowd. (Reader want to have friends, but have troubles with making them). Insecurities (Reader are afraid of being laughed at). Low self-esteem (Reader are sure, that people will think, that they are boring and stupid).

Warnings for Part I: Harassment on a workplace. Fights. Being fired from job. Everyone think, that Reader pay BSD Cast for their help with their body.

| Interlude I| >

___________

Albatross's motorcycle dissapeared around the corner when you opened a café's door.

A familiar jingle of the bells greeted you, when you opened the Sunset Café's door.

Time for work.

You greeted your co-workers. As usual, they have ignored you. And send nasty and disgusted glares towards you, when you passed them.

You went straight to "Employee Only" room. As usual, you had to threw away nasty notes your co-workers put in your locker.

You, now in your uniform, stand behind the counter. As usual, you ignored the whispering, that was coming from your co-workers.

Job sweet job...

_______

You knew, that your new roommates would turn, how people saw you.

You always were a quiet student and co-worker.

Like many other students, you were renting a small apartment, were going to the university and had a part-time job. As many other students, you were quiet one. You study and do your job, and spent your free time in your apartment, enjoying your hobbies.

Your parents always told you, how fun university life was for them. About parties, bar hopping and many other social gatherings.

You tried to attend few parties. You did not like them. They were loud, and, after few drinks, people became too against personal space. You did not have any fun. So, not to torture yourself and not to sour the mood, you stopped attending parties.

You still wanted to make friends. You are not social butterfly, but you are not are dead set on being a loner.

You tried to make friends with other students. At first, it worked. You discussed latest news and everyday problems. You dive in your friends’ hobbies, so you can discuss them. However, with time, you have noticed, that they did not try to know you a little more. Each time you wanted to say even a word about last movie you watched or a book your read, you were being shut down, and “friends” already started a new discussion. And, when you tried to say your opinion on something they were discussing, they ignored you.

They did not noticed, that you stopped hanging out with them.

You tried again.

They were better. They didn't ignore you. They let you talk about your hobbies and listen to your opinion.

And then you learned, that they were laughing at you behind your back.

You stopped trying. You didn't want to be ignored again. You didn't want to be laughed at.

Still, you didn't want to be alone...

But, what next group will laugh at you again?

You choose to listen to your anxiety.

And, once again, as back at school, you became

IGNORED

“Quiet-Nerd-What–was-their-name?”

No one expected you to do anything drastic.

Until, one day, BSD Cast appeared in your living room.

And people remembered, that you existed.

-------------------------

It first, it wasn't too bad.

After Albatross got all documents he needs and finally bought a new motorcycle, he volunteered to constantly give you a ride to the university. It takes you time, before you agreed to his proposal. You were fine going by feet, or taking a bus. But, the new house was further from the university, than your previous apartment, so, to safe time, you agreed to Albatross's proposal.

Now you have more time to sleep and still can get to the university earlier, to prepare for lectures.

You weren't worried about questions, that fellow students would ask. For them, you were practically invisible. They won't pay attention to you, right?

Perhaps, it would be the case. But, you failed to get one thing in consideration.

Sunset Café

Relatively popular place among students. Not only because of delicious pastries, hot beverages and low prices. Mostly, because of owners' willingness to employ students and giving them a normal paycheck. Not enough to buy everything you need, but enough to pay rent and buy a present for yourself twice a year. Besides, employees were allowed to drink beverages and take few pastries. So, free dinner/lunch. Saved money!

So, of course, you were one of the many employees in Sunset Café. And, sometimes, you shared shift with your "classmates". If you were lucky, you could even say a few words to them, and they would react to them.

You didn't quit your job after BSD Cast appeared in your life. Mori, Fitzgerald, Poe and even Mitchell with Steinbeck tried to convince you to quit it. They assured you, that you don't need this job anymore. They have more than enough money to pay for everything you need or want. Everyone told you, that they won't hold it against you, if you quit your job and focus on your studies.

Your decision didn't change. You will work. Not only because you will feel bad for not contributing.

Because you need money for that... And you will feel terrible, taking money from BSD Cast to do it...

BSD Cast accepted it. They only asked you to tell them when your shifts are and text, when you will go home.

You were fine with sharing this with them.

A week passed. Albatross gave you a ride to university. Then, after lessons were over, you will go by foot to Sunset Café and after work take a bus to get home. Everything was fine. Even if other students noticed your "driver", they didn't ask questions. They get used to ignoring you.

And then, one day, after university, you saw Albatross on the parking lot.

_____

"Hey, [Y/N]! How university was, Racing Star?" Albatross waved his hand, smiling brightly. You tilted your head and quickly approach him.

you felt other students gazes on you... since when someone, except professors, knew your name? and since when, you have a person, who will have a nickname for you?

You lean towards him, whispering.

"Albatross? What are you doing here?" You quickly released, that you were rude. "I mean, hello. University was good."

stupid stupid he will think that you are a rude idiot

Albatross smiles at you warmly and took (yours) helmet from his motorcycle.

"Great! I am here to pick you up. Since today, I will also give you a ride to your workplace! And from workplace to home!" He held the helmet towards you.

You took it and put it on.

Albatross mirrored your actions and get on motorcycle.

"Hop on, Raising Star!"

You sat behind him, on your own proper seat, with your feet on your own foot pegs.

You put your arms around Albatross torso.

The motorcycle moved.

many people looked after you two. in a few hours all your co-workers knew about Albatross and you

_______

Questions came.

"Who is this handsome man?"

"Is he single?"

"You get a boyfriend?! You?!"

"Why he is giving you a ride?!"

You shrugged their questions of.

"Just a new roommate. We met online, talked about some anime and manga for a bit (rolled eyes and whispers of 'useless nerd'). And about few other things. He wanted to move over from his city to this town and wanted us to be roommates. He volunteered to gave me rides."

(whispers of 'And how you are paying for the rides?' you ignored them)

------

A shove in the side interrupted your thought chain.

"Wake up, cheap strumpet! Or are you thinking about all this 'rides' the blonde one gave you? The one in sunglasses." John's gaze was full of disgust. It was clearly visible, that your co-worker, and student from your class, want to spit in your face really badly. Thankfully, he decided against it.

"We will have clients soon. Reminder, not clients, that you are used to. So get back to normal, respected work."

He growled and left to the kitchen.

You wanted to protest, that it was summer. University was over. Most students left, and the Café wasn't that popular among other town's residents.

no clients means more trouble for you

But you stay silent.

You didn't want to lose your job. You need it.

🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️

Albatross parked his motorcycle not far from Sunset Café. He returned to the Café on his own foot. There was a restaurant on the opposite side of the street. And, because they didn't serve any deserts and only could offer Earl Grey and espresso, it wasn't a competitor with Sunset Café.

From said restaurant you can clearly view Sunset Café, and see, what was happened inside.

Albatross choose the closest table to the window. He sat down, ordered a sandwich and start observing. His friends will join him soon. For now, he must look after you.

He clenched his teeth, when he saw, how that man shoved you. Albatross gad no idea, what he was telling you, but you looked uncomfortable. And silent. You didn't try to protect yourself.

Albatross doesn't understand. Why you were so silent and don't protect yourself? Why you don't ask them for help?

Albatross doesn't have answers yet. But, he promised, that today he will protect you.

And other Flags will help him.

🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️

The interest in you and Albatross quickly died. Well, in you the interest died. Albatross still was discussed. Handsome man, dressed in leather jacket and rugged pants, who can ride a motorcycle, tend to get people's attention.

Life became normal again, aside from people, who would beg you to give them Albatross's number.

But then, another "new" appeared in your life.

Homemade meals.

"I knew, that you can have cake with coffee, but it is not a meal, [Y/N]. It is a snack or a treat. So, hush, and take your bento." Yosano wasn't listening to your protest, putting a lunch container into your bag.

Lunches became a norm for you.

If people saw you eating your own food, they didn't question it. Perhaps, they assumed, that after getting a roommate, you start having more money, enough for not to worry about constant saving and searching for low prices. Or, maybe, some people thought, that Albatross was also cooking for you.

But one day, you forgot your lunch at home.

___________

You were working on filling coffee machine, when John called for you.

"Um... Person, who are filling coffee machine... [Y/N], right?"

You nodded.

you were used for people forgetting your name

"[Y/N]... there is some kind of freak with IV looking for you!" John sounded confused.

IV? Doc?

You walked past confused John. He still looked confused. You could bet, that it was equally, because of Doc's appearance and, because there was another non-professor, who knew your name.

he and other of your co-workers were listening on yours and Doc's meeting

Doc does look interesting. Mostly because of IV and jagged teeth. But, you can quickly get used to said looks.

Doc flashed a toothy grin at you.

it made your co-workers took a step back

Doc raised a hand, and you saw, that he was holding a wrapped up bento.

Your lunch, that you forgot.

"[Y/N], silly little Kindly Care, you forgot your lunch."

You nodded, taking it from him.

"Hello, Doc. Thank you..."

idiot. your stupidity made him walk all the way here to give you food. apologize. Maybe, he won't hate you and would simply despise

"I am so sorry for all troubles I..." You didn't get to finish. Doc chuckled and pet your shoulder. His gaze was warm. He didn't look angry. Only happy.

"Don't worry this pretty little head of yours. It wasn't trouble at all. Hey, how soon your shift will end? Maybe, I can wait for you, and then Albatross, you and I can hang out?"

you can felt burning gazes of your co-workers on your back

You wanted to say 'yes, let's hang out'. But, your shift was far from over. He could probably go home. He will go home.

you aren't worse waiting for...

"I will be free in three hours, Doc... Maybe, you should..." Doc's grin became even bigger.

"Neat. I will wait for you."

Doc sat on the table in far away corner.

And you go back to your co-workers.

_________

They literally pressed you against the wall, trying to get answers.

"Who is this creep?"

"You have another friend?"

"Another roommate?"

"How big the flat is?"

"Is he the one, who is cooking you food?"

"Are you three dating?"

It was difficult, but you escaped from the encirclement. You ignored half of the questions.

"Yes, another roommate. No, we aren't dating. I won't answer any more questions. My personal life is none of your concern."

maybe, if you say something else... this situation would be solved...

(Kasey, another co-worker, whispered 'what they saw in you? What you give them in return for their help?' you ignored her)

Albatross, Doc and you got ice cream after your shift was done.

_____

You were re-filling coffee machine, when you heard steps coming from behind.

Only your reflexes saved you from having coffee spilled all over you. Kasey's voice was dripping with venom.

"What the matter? Aren't you already dirty?"

She left, stepping on your foot in a process.

You bit your tongue.

Just keep it cool. You need this job.

You need your own money.

🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️

Doc, this time, without his IV, stepped into the restaurant. Albatross waved his hand, without looking away from the Café. Doc sat near his friend.

"Did something bad happened?" asked Doc. Albatross huffed.

"Some guy... John, I think, shoved them. And, yell at them, I guess. [Y/N] looked scared and nervous."

Doc rubbed his temples. He hated all this people, who hurt you.

He saw it. Bruises on your arms.

You assured him, that you were clumsy.

But, doctor and mafioso (especially doctor-mafioso) can see, what bruises came from being clumsy and what was left from being hit.

He didn't blame you for being quiet. In no way it is your fault. But, it was his and others responsibility to protect you.

Because, you are their dear friend.

But, for an hour or two, he still had to wait. He and Albatross need more people to help them.

🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️

People started whispering.

About you, Albatross and Doc.

Some rumors were tossed around.

Still, it wasn't too bad. Albatross, Doc and almost everyone from BSD Cast wasn't too sociable, for now. So, your co-workers and other students can't get more information from them, and you simply refused to talk.

you are too grumpy... you will never have friends... you will always be alone...

But, loneliness can't last forever.

if you are not talking about yourself, of course

BSD Cast wanted to have jobs.

Lippmann was one of the first, who got it.

New actor in a local theater. A new start. New celebrity. Videos with him became viral.

And said start preferred to spend time with a shy, timid student, worker of Sunset Café.

________

Kasey squeaked, when Lippmann, a new celebrity, walked into the Café.

"Y-you..." she looked at him in adoration. Lippmann sent a smile in her direction.

Simple, polite smile.

He read her badge.

"Yes, me. Miss Kasey, can you, please, tell me, where... [Y/N]!" He noticed you, walking with a tray, full of dirty dishes.

Lippmann smiles at you.

Genuine, warm smile. Smile, that was reserved strictly for you.

You tried your best to stay polite and not to lose balance.

"Hello, Lippmann. Good to see you..."

Lippmann immediately was near you, taking away the tray. You didn't even make a sound, when he brought the tray to the kitchen. He returned to you, smiling.

"Well, Star Performer, ready to have lunch together?"

You mentally scolded yourself. Today you had a short day, and would leave the job earlier, than usual. This morning, Lippmann suggested eating lunch together. You were sure, that he was playing a prank on you. But it would be rude to say no. You agreed.

you hopped, that he will show up

you don't deserve them. someone as bad as you should stay from normal people

You nodded. Lippmann grinned.

"Good. I will wait for you to get ready."

"Thanks. I will be ready in a minute." you went to "Employee Only" room to get your bag and change.

_______

Co-workers gathered their courage to talk to Lippmann.

"Do you know them?"

"Do you know two others, that hang out with them?"

"What are they to you?"

Lippmann's answers were empty.

"[Y/N], few other people and I are roommates. I also see [Y/N] as someone close. Please, stop bothering me. I want to pick up my friend and spend the rest of the day with them."

When you returned, Lippmann took your hand and lead you towards the exit, ignoring your co-workers.

They glared at door, that closed behind you two.

If people could do physical damage with their gazes, you would be stabbed multiple times by their gazes.

(Today, all of them took a dive on social media. Trying to find more people, who knew you. They started with Lippmann socials.)

It was the point of no return

__________

You only wanted to have lunch.

You choose an empty table and was ready to dig in into red bean chazuke (thank you, Mori), when someone slammed a hand on the table before you.

Max, baker, were glaring at you. They were older than you, and not a student anymore. But, they were a star student, back there, and still honored the university traditions.

And they were furious at you.

Because of what people thought you were doing.

"You have no idea, how you disgust me. You are a disgrace to the university." they spit. They grabbed your lunch box and threw it down. Food spilled on the ground. You cowered in fear.

Max spit on the floor.

"Clean it up. Or eat it right from the floor. Livestock aren't allowed to eat as normal humans."

You blinked away your tears.

Hold on...

Just hold on...

You need money...

To pay rent...

🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

Doc and Albatross had to hold down Lippmann (and themselves) from marching down to the Café and do something really nasty to the bastard.

Lippmann breathed in and out.

"Why... Why they are hurting [Y/N]? For what sick entertainment?" mumbles Lippmann, tapping fingers against the table. Albatross and Doc didn't answer. They don't need to.

Lippmann closed his eyes. He hated not doing anything.

But, he needs to wait for a bit more. To get more evidence.

He remembered about some of the messages he received on his socials.

About how good you are in... "under the table" job. How much will it cost. If he is disgusted by you.

He simply thought, that it was trolls or haters, who just saw your photos on his page.

But, what if this people knew you and him in real life?

Lippmann breathed in again.

You were the only good part of the Real World. Other real people were huge bastards. He must protect you.

His precious Star Performer.

🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

They found photos.

Photos with you and BSD Cast.

With all of them calling you a great friend and roommate.

There were some videos.

About you being happy to get a gift or hanging out with them.

Fellow students and co-workers don't understand.

How a quiet, timid, shy nerd could get so much attention? Especially from new big businessmen and businesswoman?

They drew the only "logical" conclusion.

You were selling your body.

Now you weren't nameless anymore.

No, now you have many names.

Cheap, livestock, thing, toy... To call the least explicit.

And harassment came.

They didn't harass you on The Internet or tried to cross the line.

Thay said, that dirt wasn't worth to get in jail or any legal troubles. But they left notes, were rude, yelled at you, shoved you. Some people send complaints to the university.

They didn't want to be near you.

Professors didn't do anything. You were grown-ups, can deal with your own problems. But they asked all of you to be quiet. So you won't ruin the university's image of a prestigious, place with good students.

you were ruining not only BSD's Cast reputation. you are ruining university's reputation

Café's manager didn't do anything. Deal with it on your own. But he demand, that you deal with it not in front of the clients. And promised to fire you, if you start a scandal.

You tried to fight. You tried to explain. Show some of your messages with Oda, Mori, Nikolai, Fukuzawa and Fitzgerald.

But there was no way for you to prove, that you and BSD Cast were just friends.

"You have a second phone, where the evidence are!"

"I don't know, what is more disgusting. The number of your 'roommares'.or their ages."

"Don't come near. You are a freak without any morals."

was it your fault?did you deserve it? if you had friends in university, maybe you would...

there was no use in crying over spilled milk

you simply must move on

summer is soon

after holidays, they will forget about you

_______

You and Piano Man were feeding ducks in local park. Both of you were silent.

Silence was comfortable.

And then Piano Man spoke.

"[Y/N]... Rare Coin, can I ask you something?" his tone was gentle. You threw more seeds into the lake, before answering.

"Ask away." You smiled shyly. It's been three months since BSD Cast appeared in this world, in your life.

It felt good to have friendly conversations.

it was nice to have friends

Piano Man licked his lips, before speaking.

"[Y/N], are you alright? You looked... sad for the last few days. Did something happen? Can we help you?"

You froze.

they will hate you. you are ruining their reputation. LIE

"Everything is fine! I just worried about my finals!" a fake smile appeared on your face. Piano Man crooked an eyebrow.

"Kunikida said, that you are doing great. Or are you afraid of getting Not "100 points" but "99.99 points"?"

You nervously nodded.

"I always worried about my finals..."

Piano Man still didn't look convinced.

"And how your relationship with other students and co-workers?"

You swallow. You felt, iike a rock fall down your stomach.

"It's fine. They not really interested in me. I am just another student."

Piano Man looked at you for few moments. He clearly wanted to ask more questions, but decided to drop the subject.

"Fine. I will believe you. But, please, if you have troubles, talk to us. We care about you. We will help you."

You mumble something under your breath.

they will hate you for lying. idiot. go back to your books

Piano Man threw remaining seeds to the ducks. He held his hand towards you.

"Let's go and buy some groceries. Goncharov promised to cook stew for dinner."

_________

You had a headache. You just wanted this day to be over. You wanted to go home. To stay far away from the Café and University. From students.

They were glaring at you. They hated you.

Duncan, your manager, was towering over you. He bared his teeth and hissed.

"I promise you, you won't stay here for tool long. I will make sure, that you will be fired. Who knew, what diseases you are carrying around. I don't want to have my life ruined because of your debauchery."

You close your eyes. You are hated, because of stupid rumors.

And you can't ask anyone for help.

you aren't important enough to be a burden

to ask for help

you want to cry

you fight the urge

don't show weakness

you need this job

to pay rent

to keep your old apartment

The Café door was opened.

🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹

Piano Man didn't walk into the restaurant. He simply stopped before restaurant window and waved his hand, showing Albatross, Doc and Lippmann, that it was time.

Piano Man kept looking at the Café. At place, where you were working. At place, where you were harassed.

He clenched his fists.

He remembered, how you were acting during last finals. They still were in their world, but they could tell, that you weren't panicking or having a meltdown...

And about students.

There was one thing, that concern not only Piano Man, but all members of BSD Cast.

How empty your list of messages were.

Chat with parents. Chat for your group of students. Chat for all university students (only reading, where students can't post). Chat for Sunset Café workers.

And you hardly interacted with any if the chats.

It would be a good thing, if your parents write even one in a month.

Students in a chat ignored you, if you try to ask something, making you send the message multiple times.

Workers in a café left you on read for a good chunk of time, answering the last moment.

And even after they appeared in this world, they didn't see you hanging with someone else, exept them.

Were you bullied? No, not a correct term.

Piano Man remembered bruises. Bruises, that, according to you, came from falling down.

You were harrassed.

How dare they hurt you?

"[Y/N], don't worry, dear, we will protect you."

You were shy, kind, clever and adorable. Yet, some bastards thought, that they can hurt you. They were wrong.

And Flags will show them, how wrong they were.

"Ready?" asked his friends.

Three "Ready" were his answers.

Ice Man just walked into the café. Piano Man moved forward. Doc, Albatross and Lippmann followed after him.

🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹

Duncan was too absorbed in scoffing at you. He didn't notice, how Iceman walked into a café.

Your other co-workers, however, saw his. And tried to stay as far away as they can.

Iceman was a good man. Soft-spoken and kind. He often invites you to drink coffee together, while listening to some of his records.

But he does have an overwhelming presence. With a scar running down his right eye and emotionless face, tall /hit/ man didn't look like an embodiment of friendship.

Duncan continues to spit insults at you.

"You are everything, that is wrong with your generation. You have no honor or any idea, how normal human beings should behave in society!"

You turned away and tried not to pay attention. You failed. Duncan's yells were loud.

Shouts of approval were heard from different parts of the café. Iceman may have looked scary, but people can't pass up the chance to rub your face in your 'inappropriate' behavior.

With a corner of your eye you saw, how Iceman picked up one of the vases, that was standing on each table and had flowers put in it. With vase in hand, Iceman continue walking to Duncan and you.

You shake your head, trying to stop Iceman from doing what he wanted to do.

you don't need troubles at work!

Door opened again.

The Rest of the Flags walked inside. You have a bad feeling about this.

Duncan's loud howls were interrupted by a soft ringing sound. The fiery speaker fell and hit his face against the floor.

Behind him was Iceman with the most repentant expression on his face. But a sly smile was ruining the image.

"I'm so clumsy!" Iceman “apologized,” pointing with his hand at the glass shards of the vase and the scattered flowers, that were lying on the floor.

“But, honestly, he is such a disgusting guy. It was time for him to shut up.”

Your co-workers realized, what happened just at the end of the speech, and the last words Iceman spoke crouching. A tray of dirty dishes, which Max threw from the kitchen door, passed over his head. The tray flew further and landed on John's head, who tried to escape at the wrong time.

The dishes' life came to an end.

The joyful cry “Get them!” that came from Albatross, announced that the calm day was ruined completely, irrevocably and for everyone at once.

Iceman, with a confident, clearly practiced movement, grabbed surprised you, and threw you behind the counter.

In the café, meanwhile, Piano Man was steadily dipping Max into a bucket of dirty water, Doc was methodically beating John with a rolling pin. Iceman jumped over the tables, running from Steve, the only guard who was already out of breath. Lippmann, who had stolen a frying pan from the kitchen in the midst of a fight, was reprimanding something to the conscious Duncan, reinforcing his words with blows from the frying pan. Albatross throw Kasey onto the counter, and, grabbing her by the collar, began dragging her back and forth.

You didn't know what to do. You were never in a fight before, and, if you stand up, you could become an easy target, putting Flags in disadvantage.

Albatross dragged Kasey away from the counter, so he can deal with another waiter at the same time, and you take a better look at what was going on.

Right that moment, Iceman and Steve ran past the counter, and Steve was close to catching Iceman.

You can't let him hurt your friend!

You grabbed a bottle of vanilla syrup and hit Steve with it.

The guard was now cowered in sticky substance.

And owner finally decided to check on what was going on.

_________

You were standing outside Sunset Café, holding your bag.

Flags brought enough money to pay for all the damage they caused. Owner agreed not to press charges.

But you were fired. You were the reason for a fight. Flags didn't hide, that they saw you being harassed by your former co-workers, and they simply can't let them continue that.

Flags said, that they have proofs. And thanks for that, Max, Duncan, Kasey, John, Steve and others won't press charges.

it is your fault your fault you almost get Flags in trouble

You didn't know what to feel.

You won't be harassed anymore.

But you lose a job. And other places in this town aren't interested in hiring students.

And you need the job

You need money

To keep your old apartment

So you will have...

"[Y/N]? Are you okay? " Iceman's soft voice sounded right above your ear. You looked up at him at the rest of the Flags, who were standing behind him. All of them looked guilty. Iceman spoke again.

"[Y/N], we are sorry, that you have lost your job. But, please, understand, that we couldn't just let some idiots harassed you. We wanted to protect you."

Flags nodded in agreement.

You open your mouth and said the truth.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. And don't worry about my job. I will find another one"

you wanted this. friends, that will protect you. someone, you can protect

Albatross jumped closer to you and put his arm around your shoulders.

"That's the spirit! So, want to grab a bite, before going home?"

Without waiting for your answer, he led you away from Sunset Café. Flags followed after you two.

🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊

Iceman walked behind you. And he was observing. He was glad, that you were safe now. But your attitude... What was going on? Why you let others walked over you?

Right now, you looked happy. But, what if one day... Because of other students...

Iceman whispered.

"We need to discuss it with others. Something is still wrong with Snowflake."

Piano Man, the only one, who heard him, nodded in agreement.

Iceman continue observing you. Albatross was recalling the best moments of the fight, and how cool you were, hitting the guard with a bottle.

You looked embarrassed, but you also participate in conversation.

For now, everything was good.

🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊

You were half-way to the diner, Flags have chosen to grab a bite.

Your last paycheck felt heavy in your pocket.

Last money you earned.

You will spend them on a rent.

On your old apartment, that BSD Cast thought you left permanently.

Because you need this apartment.

Because, after BSD Cast will see, how boring and stupid you are, they will leave. And you will need a place to return to.

But for now, you will simply enjoy your lunch with Flags.

185 notes · View notes

bbanghiitomi · 11 months ago

Text

| upside down

synopsis: kim minji who has lived in the same dorm for almost 3 years suddenly receives a surprising new roommate, this one — she knows will forever change her life.

— non!idol!kminji × non!idol!ill!femreader

(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿

"teacher? why are you here?" minji asks as she watches the familiar old woman in front of her doorsteps, carrying a large bag with a small smile. it hasn't been long since she saw this old woman inside her dorm she always manages to pay her visits and ask her about her well-being every now and then. ms. hwang is a teacher for the handicapped, she lives in the same building and takes care of students who are disabled — she herself is also disabled, yet she finds it in her to help other students surpass what they think is impossible.

minji isn't one of them, but she knows a few — ms. hwang have basically lived her life helping students in need, minji has witnessed it a couple of times and is proud of the old woman, often trying to offer her dinner sometimes when she comes home late at night and sometimes helping her pack up things or carry heavy stuff to another building or room.

as for minji, she's been living in the same building for almost three years, she's had different roommates who have left not for too long — she experienced the worst and the best, this place is basically her second home. her last roommate was a girl named pham hanni, she has left after choosing a different university but they are still contacting each other and will often visit each other's place. hanni was technically her best friend, this is coming from minji who has never really had that much friends growing up, she's good at socializing but the problem always lies with her lack of connection with people; often ending up with her completely losing contact with another person.

"minji! i have some good news." ms. hwang enters inside as she mumbles a small excuse, minji gives the older woman some space and closes the door as the old woman walks her way to the now empty room.

"is this about the roommate i was asking about?" minji has been living alone for 2 months, that meant she had to pay the whole dorm without sharing it with anyone and it's been hard for her wallet. minji walks around and watches as the teacher starts cleaning the room and fixing the bed.

"yes, she's gonna move in here tomorrow. you told me to assist the papers, right? and so i did, everything's already fixed and by tomorrow we'll wait for her. okay?" minji widens her eyes and then nods, standing on the door frame of the room, she leans and crosses her arms as she takes a deep breath. "that was really fast, i appreciate it ms. hwang, this is like my first time inquiring you about a roommate." minji chuckles to herself, it's true — all the time she spend living in this building, whenever she'll look for roommates, she's always the one discussing it with the person, she's also the one accomplishing the paperworks.

just this time... it's been a busy term for minji, she's always out at the university campus working on her labworks, she's also busy with helping students with their academic papers, it has become her part time job and it pays quite well — enough to suffice her needs and as well her wants.

"it's alright minji, you're always working hard and diligently, i'm pretty sure your advisory appreciates your presence and your advice. let me take care of this for you even just for once." ms. hwang says as she finishes fixing the bed, she walks around to start cleaning up the table and minji walks outside to the corridor, then walking straight to the living room slash kitchen.

she stands in the middle, minji even as she's standing in the middle of a cramped room — it still feels as if it was empty, there's a light above her, she's getting taller and taller; next thing she knows her head will eventually reach the ceiling. minji has always felt so lonely, even before she was in this dorm — there's always an empty space lingering in her mind, she could be in a sea of crowd but eventually she'll feel lonely, stranded.

the lack of communication with her family fuels this feeling inside of her too, she doesn't even remember the last time she's had a conversation with her father — and although she wants to, it's hard for her.

tomorrow, she'll welcome the new addition to her collection of roommates — guessing by the fact that ms. hwang is the one working on the requirements, minji can already tell that her new roommate isn't the same as the last ones, a person with disability — it's not a bad thing but it's new...

"minji... tomorrow, make sure to welcome her very warmly. i promise that she won't be a problem to you, i just hope you also take good care of her and give her your full support." minji watches as ms. hwang walks past her, her round eyes follow the elderly woman who walks to the door of her dorm, carrying the her things. minji opens her mouth but then closes it again, before nodding with a small smile.

"alright, i got this ms. hwang. don't worry about it."

the next day, minji comes home to see that the living room is occupied with ms. hwang and a man in his mid-40's, they were conversing as they sit on the couch. minji silently enters inside, carrying her backpack and a few papers in her hands. as she was walking past the living room, ms. hwang may have been able to feel her presence and that's when the old man looked at her too.

"oh my minji, you're finally home!" ms. hwang greets her, minji nods and smiles sheepishly.

"hi ms. hwang, good evening mister." minji bows at the pair.

the man acknowledges her presence and gives her a small nod with a smile. "good evening too ms. kim, it's nice to meet you." he says, minji looks at ms. hwang who signals her to sit down to which minji did.

"yes, nice to meet you too sir. i hope you feel comfortable here." minji says as she takes a seat and places her belongings on the small coffee table in the middle.

"it's mr. jang, i'm happy my daughter is staying at this place. it's not the biggest but it's clean and safe, the closest to the university she's studying at and the hospital. my daughter also likes it here." minji can't help but smile at the words from the man, she nods in agreement and clasps her hands together before speaking once again.

"i'm glad you feel that way, i'll make sure to keep this place the same and i'll be very responsible." minji tells the man, receiving a satisfied look from ms. hwang. "you know sir, minji is a very responsible student, she takes her job and studying seriously and keeps a good look on the dorm. i'm pretty sure she'll be very helpful with your daughter's stay here." ms. hwang says, minji looks at the woman and then to her feet, staring to grow curious about the new roommate she'll be sharing the place with.

"i'm happy to know that." mr. jang glances at his wristwatch and stands up. "y/n's sister is looking for me now, we have to go and take care of y/n's medications and for now, i'll be trusting the two of you. take care of my daughter." he says as he lives and walks out of the dorm, minji stares at thin air as she starts to think about what this man truly feels.

it's the fact he seemed nonchalant about this whole exchange, how there's no sign of sadness lingering in his voice, but it's very obvious he is in deep fatigue — the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles and the whites of his hair — he's strong, it's clear to minji how much this man cares for his daughter and how he's willing to do anything to help her.

"minji, i'll be taking my leave now. y/n already ate dinner and is staying in her room. for now, you can go ahead and take a rest. i'll come back tomorrow." ms. hwang leaves and all minji could do pull her lips into a thin line, sitting alone on the couch as emptiness starts to crawl around her.

as soon as the clock strikes 9am, "teacher!" minji opens her door to see ms. hwang coming inside the dorm, carrying her bag as she walks inside the now occupied room, it seems like y/n was calling out for her through this small telephone connected to ms. hwang's room.

"hi ms. hwang." minji greets the older woman, the older woman smiles back at her. "hi minji, i need to go inside y/n's room, it's time for her weekly exercise." she whispers before entering inside the room and closing it immediately. minji stands in the middle of the corridor, pursing her lips as she slowly nods, turning around to look at the room next to hers.

minji blinks a few times before walking to the kitchen to grab the box of cereal and notices the newly bought foods on the shelves, it's now cramped — back when she was living alone, the shelves barely had any food inside.

minji held the box of cereal in her hand and grabbed the carton of milk inside the refrigerator which is now also filled with newly bought food, dumbfounded but not unbeknownst to her, she grabbed the carton of milk and prepped her meal.

as minji's eating, the door opens and minji turns around to see ms. hwang.

"minji! can you grab the telephone and dial the number on the sticky note hanging on the corkboard?" minji stands up, her mouth filled with cereal and grabs the telephone to dial the number.

"dr. shim — y/n's weekly morning exercise: ×××-××××-×××."

minji swallows her food and looks at ms. hwang. "what do i say?" she mouths, and as her sight focuses behind ms. hwang inside your room, she spots you, sitting up on your bed as you hold your phone up.

minji feels her heart stop at the new discovery.

"tell her y/n's ready for her therapy."

minji shakes her head and nods.

the door is closed again, minji is wearing her complete outfit on her way to the university, she's still thinking about you though.

your hair, your eyes, the only things she was able to see clearly from your side view and past your door that's been restricting her from reaching out to you.

minji realizes she's got no business to peep on your situation so she takes her leave for the day and hopes her curiosity slowly dies so you can have your peace.

minji is at an empty university computer lab, her laptop sitting on the table as she taps her pen on the wooden table, looking for any corrections at the research paper her advisory have just submitted her.

"hey, you should stop trying to avoid repeating the words 'soil moisture' you need to be consistent with your terms, it's very confusing if you use different words pertaining to the same idea. it's alright to repeat those words, unless you're explaining." minji talks as she's currently in a call with her advisory, scrolling at her laptop looking for more mistakes.

"the variables are okay, i suggest you should inquire at the building of forestry and technology to add another test on your variables; how about test the accuracy of your sensor? or the level of moisture?" she adds, clicking through the pages of the paper. minji sighs before closing the file.

"i think that's all, you can ask me more questions once you revise those parts. for now, i think you should really focus on your robot — don't worry too much about the paper, you'll get it right." minji shrugs, looking out the window.

"thanks ms. kim." the student says, the call ends and minji thinks about you once again, wondering what you are probably doing right now.

minji groans and starts to feel frustrated because of her lingering curiosity about you, it doesn't help that she was able to get a peek of your face earlier, fueling her desire to be able to get close to you once again.

when minji arrives home, she sees your sister — wonyoung, exiting your room and having a small conversation with ms. hwang before leaving without saying a word to minji, minji stands near the door with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"y/n's older sister paid her a visit, isn't she so nice? she seems worried about her sister and wants to take care of her but y/n refused saying she had other things to take care of besides her." minji nods as ms. hwang gives her the details of today's anecdotes, after ms. hwang left minji continues to think about what you're doing inside your room.

are you sad?

lonely?

tired?

are you happy?

maybe you're frustrated...

what if you suddenly need help?

minji took note that she can actually hear you whenever you call for ms. hwang, she hears your voice but only when you call for teacher.

she's never heard you say anything other than that before and is becoming more curious as time goes by, week after week, until your first month of stay inside the dorm has passed minji have been used to always seeing ms. hwang more than once a week, it became a daily thing. minji will leave earlier before you even eat breakfast, she'll also come home late after you ate dinner.

"minji, i'm not here tonight and can't help y/n eat her dinner. i haven't told her about it but i'm leaving this job for you just for tonight don't worry." ms. hwang says as she gives minji a piece of paper, minji stands with the paper in her hand — looking at it then back to ms. hwang. "uhm, it's alright. your timing is perfect i'll come home early in the afternoon." minji states, taking small deep breaths, trying to compose herself.

there's some kind of rush inside of her, she doesn't understand what that might be.

"oh my god thank you so much minji, that's the instructions of how to bring y/n here at the dining table. there's the equipment for her chair, just make sure she doesn't get hurt or fall over." ms. hwang reminds minji who nods and gives her a reassuring smile. "don't worry ms. hwang, i'll take care of her. i promise i'll be gentle."

that night minji takes her earbuds off trying to scope any sound from your room, then she hears your voice again.

"teacher!" you shout.

minji stands up and walks toward the door of your room, reaching out a shaky hand to the metal doorknob and feeling its cold surface tingle her palm, she twists it and pushes the door open.

you lay on your bed, taking deep breaths. minji's eyes scans the posters on the wall, pictures of you and your sisters, your family and friends. you weren't knowledgeable about minji's presence and the girl was practically shaking.

"h— hey..." minji calls out, you turn your head meekly and see her face, your eyes squint before you blink and look away. "where's ms. hwang?" you ask minji, minji sighs and scratches her nape.

"there was an emergency and she was needed, she ordered me to help you eat dinner." minji says standing beside your bed, you sigh with a smile. "okay." you mutter.

you grew up almost like every other child — "almost" as you were unbeknownst to the growing illness inside of your body, as you grow old your muscles began to weaken, almost to the point that even walking began to be hard until your legs have completely given up.

it didn't help that your case was almost rare, every medication is double the price of a normal surgery, your therapy costs hundreds of thousands per session and even if your family could afford it you still can't help but feel bad because ever since you start to lose your ability to walk, all they can think about was your situation.

it's frustrating but you continue to keep moving forward, still holding up a positive outlook and view of the world, managing to smile because no matter how hard it gets, how painful it becomes you still have your family behind your back, always thankful you get to still see them.

it's so hard... even just raising your hands already feels like you're carrying 10 pounds of iron, your muscles have grown so weak that you're stuck having to lay on your bed all day, sit with a harness around you.

it feels like you're slowly rotting, that time where your parents wanted to have you stop studying and focus on your well-being, you feel like you've given up that's why you refused and persuaded them to take you to the dorm because you wanted to keep learning, sometimes even tutoring high school students from time to time.

"am i heavy?" you ask minji, she wanted to say yes because you're lower body and almost most of your upper body lack any movement to support your weight but minji shakes her head.

"it's alright, just enough." you usually don't get carried by ms. hwang, instead she pushes the wheelchair close to your bed and helps you move to sit on it.

but minji with her strength carries you to the wheelchair with ease, immediately putting your harness around you. as she crouches down, locking your wheelchair, you stare at her face — realizing this was your first time seeing her face up close, she's indeed beautiful.

you've heard lots of good things about her from ms. hwang, even from your father when they first met — you wouldn't deny the fact that you didn't care about minji when you first came here but seeing how nice and caring she actually is, you feel drawn to her.

"thanks." you mutter, minji feels her face flushing red and she nods. "no problem." she pushes you outside to the dining table where the dinner is already served.

minji didn't hesitate to offer you other foods, like ms. hwang does, you appreciate her sheer kindness and thoughtfulness and can see her genuineness from her eyes.

"i hope you come here inside my room again tomorrow." you tell minji as she sets you on your bed, not even caring about how heavy you were on her arms. her hands were big and rough but gentle, her black hair soft against your skin, and her eyes shines in front of yours.

you smile at her causing her to look away. "i'll try." minji whispers before leaving your room.

"teacher! my medications please!" as the door to your room opens, ms. hwang enters inside and you spot minji standing outside before the door closes and she turns away. you smile at the sight before having a conversation with ms. hwang as you take your shots.

"was everything okay yesterday?" ms. hwang asks, you look at her with a smile and an answer. "perfectly fine, minji was very gentle with me." ms. hwang sighs in relief to your answer.

minji is free once again, but she takes this time to sit on the sofa and watch tv. you're still inside your room, minji promised to try and visit you but she's not even coming inside, so you take it upon yourself to see her.

"ms. hwang, can i watch tv in the living room?" you ask her, ms. hwang nods and immediately helps you get to your wheelchair. minji turns her head to see you and ms. hwang coming out of your room, you smile at her. minji stands up as she notices ms. hwang getting your body to the couch and help to carry you, you had a hard time but you still try to wrap your arms around her neck.

"thanks minji." you whisper at her.

"minji, she wants to watch a show on the tv. kindly accompany her as i leave." ms. hwang tells minji before leaving, there's an awkward silence between the two of you, nothing but the sound of the tv keeping the surroundings alive.

and maybe minji's heartbeat too.

"u-uhm, what did you want to watch again?" minji turns to you as she speaks, holding the remote in her hand. you laugh and shake your head. "nothing in particular, whatever you like." you shrug, minji looks at the remote and goes back to the tv.

a baseball match is playing and minji's starting to lose her focus.

"you like baseball?" you ask, minji's ear tips are bright red and burning hot.

"a bit." she answers.

you smile fondly. "i only said that because i wanted to see you again." you admit.

minji looks at you with wide eyes. "what..?" she mutters.

"you promised me you'll try to visit my room but you didn't." you pout. minji laughs sheepishly. "i just didn't want to bother you while you were studying." she sits properly on the couch and looks away, clearing her throat.

your eyes soften at the sight of her face. "you won't."

minji looks at you again, feeling her heart stop every second that passes by your eyes looking at hers.

months have passed, minji starts to realize her feelings she harbors for you, each time that passes by her yearning grows deeper and her feelings start to overflow that it starts to scare her. minji doesn't understand what to do, every breath she breathes inside your room feels suffocating, her heart clenching whenever she remembers how hurt you are — she feels bad.

so bad that every night she spends alone in her room is filled with endless thoughts about your well-being, she wants to get you out of the pain you're suffering, she wants to save you but she doesn't know how. whenever she sees your pained expression is another knife on her chest, a stinging feeling close to a thorn stuck on her heart lingers — these feelings of both love and pain are too much.

from wanting to see you, minji grows her feelings until it gets hard to see your state.

she realized the severity of your illness, how there's a possibility that there might not be any cure for it.

that empty feeling inside her became occupied by your presence but it's cramped now, and her heart feels like it's about to burst.

she thinks about the words you said. "i can't fall in love when i'm like this." she wants to pull you in a tight hug, but she knows how tight it would be — it's probably harder for you than it is for her.

she's selfish, minji knows that.

she wants to think of you but it hurts.

minji remembers that night, she spent it with you, you kept asking her questions and she didn't hesitate to answer — you found out it's been long since minji was in a relationship and you've never been in one, because of your situation, relationships have been the last of your worries. although minji starts to change your mind, you couldn't help but feel like it's not right.

it's painful.

"it hurts! my legs..." you cry out as tears start to roll down your face, you can't move anything — your muscles are hurting so much, a hand pats your head and you look up to see your sister. "it's okay..." she lulls you but it's not working.

minji stands outside of your room, your door shut again but she can hear your cries, you pleading for anything to stop the pain from getting worse.

minji sobs, feeling her heart clenching tight, she breathes heavily, hand on her chest as she tries to stop it from hurting.

"oh no." minji mutters before teardrops start to fall on the floor, her head hanging low and the world felt too big for her to hold.

it's almost like she's also carrying the weight of your pain on her shoulders.

she's about to fall.

and it's going to hurt.

"i can't do this." minji mutters, splashing water on her face, the water drips down her chin, the sound of the faucet echoes on the walls of the restroom and hanni can't help but feel bad for her friend.

"you're making things hard for yourself, why are you running away like this?" hanni asks her friend, looking at the distressed girl leaning on the sink. minji peeks at her friend through the mirror and then looks away.

"i'm not running away. i'm just — avoiding my feelings, hanni we can't be together." minji's tone is harsh.

"why is that? it's literally exactly the same? you're making her whole point correct!" hanni argues, minji grits her teeth and closes her eyes before pushing herself up. "i don't think she wants me the way i do with her." minji mutters.

"if you're going to turn away from her just because of her situation then you might as well leave — that's literally what she's trying to say, no one stays for her because of what she's going through." hanni rolls her eyes, throwing her hands up.

minji walks in circles, a hand on her forehead. "i don't want her to push me away, i also don't want her to leave me. but what am i supposed to do, she thinks so low of herself and i — i love her."

hanni looks at her friend and sighs.

"minji you have to be honest with her."

lately, you've been more quiet — isolated.

minji opens the door to your room and you bring the book in your hands down.

"minji..." you mutter.

minji smiles softly before closing the door gently, she stands there trying to compose herself properly before speaking.

"does your body still hurt?" she asks, walking towards your bed. "do you have energy to talk or should i just watch over you?" she asks again.

you appreciate her kindness.

"i want to hear you talk." you tell her with a smile. minji nods and sits at a chair next to you. "i've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, mainly about my worries for your health and college, then my advisory. i've been wanting to tackle something important and i need to hear your thoughts." minji starts, she clasps her hands together and bring it close to her lips, thinking of what to say next.

"what is it?" you ask, growing nervous.

minji sighs. "uhm, i understand and i'm completely knowledgeable about your situation. i know it's painful and it's hard, you can always tell me about it, i'll take care of you anytime you need me." minji pauses, bringing her hands to your bed. "lately, i've been really worried about you. you're so brave and strong, but when you cried i... i didn't know what to do. i've also been under a lot of stress, so it's all mixed up inside of my head but i always think about what you've told me and of course you... it helps me a lot." she continues.

you nod at her, you take a deep breath and try to bring your hand to her even if it's taking you all your energy to lift your hand, minji reaches for it and brings it down, but still holding your hand.

"y/n... i know this sounds extremely stupid but i've been meaning to say this for a long time." minji scoots closer and brings your hand to her face. "i love you, so much." she hides her face with your hand and hers. "ah, i know. i know. there's no right time for this except now, i think. i'm scared you'll leave and i won't be able to be honest about what i feel but... i hope you don't — please don't push me away." minji's hands are trembling, she's not looking up but you can see the way her lips were quivering.

you give her an apologetic look.

"i understand, you know minji you've always been so kind to me and i'm thankful i was with you the whole time. you make me feel alive, you make me feel like someone i haven't been able to be for a long time." you look down at her, eyes watching minji's hands caressed yours.

"i love you too but we can't be together. you need to find someone else who's a better fit for you. i can't love you like this." you finish before sighing.

minji grips your hand tighter.

"no, it's not like that." minji shakes her head.

"you don't get it. i love you more than that, and i'm willing to stay here no matter how long and i promise to take care of you." minji turns her head to you and you see the tears on her eyes.

you look at her but with no expression.

"i feel bad for you minji." you trail.

"why'd you have to fall for someone pathetic?"

minji stares at you and just for a bit, your eyes look empty, like that space inside of her.

"...what?" minji mutters.

"you know what i mean..." you turn your head from her, eyes darting somewhere that's not minji's presence. minji is still holding your hand and she stands up from the bed and leans closer to you. "y/n, i know but i'm being honest and you shouldn't say that about yourself—" you cut her off with a sigh, minji looks away and lets your hand go.

she takes a few steps back, fixing her clothes. "can you call ms. hwang for my medication? maybe we shouldn't talk about this for now, i don't feel good..." you tell minji and she immediately nods and leaves your room, but that was your only excuse to escape from the pressure inside your chest about to have your heart imploding.

"hope the sun isn't too hot." you hear minji speak as she pushes your wheelchair, you agreed for minji to take you to the nearest park to get you to bathe under the sunlight — it's been a while since you last felt the feeling of the sun on your skin. you hate how kind minji is, she's still really ready to do whatever for you and it doesn't matter how much you push her away.

maybe you don't understand her at all, the things she'll do for you even if you don't ask her.

you hum. "it's perfect."

your eyes scan around the area, there are not many people around but still you can feel the energy around the place, kids and their parents and stalls and pets. you relax under the sun, you tell yourself you're going to be alright.

"i wish we were always like this — " you speak, minji looks down at you and smiles, though she's still bothered by the feelings lingering inside of her, mind and heart — she's trying to stay quiet, for your sake and as well as hers, maybe it truly was for the better.

"and just like this." minji knows exactly what you mean, nodding her head and letting out a deep breath. "yeah, it's — you're right." minji answers.

but it eventually gets hard, you wish you could do something about this stupid illness, you laugh to yourself, even having a hard time turning your head. minji looks ahead and notices the sun getting too hot, she reaches for your shoulder and caresses it gently.

"let's go back." minji whispers.

you feel bad, for yourself and minji — you weren't lying at all when you told her about what you felt.

you love minji but it's hard, you don't want her to feel like she's stuck at the same place and at the same time doing the same thing, breathing and living for someone else and not for herself. you hate the idea of her leaving but you also don't want her to be hurting for you, it's so hard — so complicated.

because you know how tiring it would be, you saw it with your family you know it won't be different with minji — she has a life ahead of her, so much to do and so much to live for, why would she settle here with you?

you're just going to hold her back.

"i'm so sorry minji." you mutter, as minji was taking your harness off — minji looks up and smiles at you, it breaks her heart to see her trying her best and you know it hurts her too to see you this way.

"it's okay, you're going to be okay." minji says as she carries you and lays you down your bed.

you're still living with her, in the same cramped space, breathing the same air and feeling the same way.

but this time untold secrets stack themselves on top of each other and it grows each time you decide to close your lips again instead of saying anything.

everything has changed, upside down.

#female reader #kpop #kpop imagines #newjeans #newjeans imagines #girl group #girlgroup imagines #hanni #kim minji #newjeans minji #kim minji x reader #kpop gg #kpop fanfic #kpop x female reader #minji x reader #Spotify

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growinguparo · 1 year ago

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Thinking once again about the intersection of being aro / perpetually single and the Housing Issue. It is without a doubt the biggest issue I face as an aro person, particularly in fucking Canada.

In my province we have rent control on almost all rental units by default. Annual rent increases are capped at 2.5%, and though I have had landlords in the past try to break that law, they back down when you say "that's literally not legal lmao try again".

In my province we also have a type of lease called a group lease, where multiple people sign on as a group. This is the standard type of lease used in properties with more than one bedroom.

If one person wishes to remove themself from a group lease, that terminates the lease for all of the other tenants in the group. Therefore, in order to continue living in the unit they are already in and may have been in for years, the landlord can choose to force the remaining tenants to reapply, and upon signing a "new lease" they can increase the rent by however much they want. Forget 2.5%, they could double rent with no consequences and still get tenants because that's how desperate people are in Canada.

Seeing as that's fucking insane, I talked to multiple lawyers about it the last time this happened to me, and they all said yeah no, if someone wants to be removed from the lease then the landlord can choose to deny a takeover and force a new lease. You can prevent the issues that come with a new lease if everyone remains on the old lease even if they no longer live there, but that is rather precarious for everyone involved and also makes your landlord hate your guts.

Anytime a new lease is signed, landlords can increase by whatever they want, so renovictions are very common (I've been renovicted as well). With all these easy-to-access loopholes, "rent control" is a joke.

It is New Year's Day and I have received yet another email informing me that since one of my roommates decided to leave at the end of the lease period, our lease will be terminating and showings will begin next week. If any one of us wants to stay, we have to reapply at market rates with a replacement person already in the group ready to sign a new lease, or we have to all remain on the old lease.

I left my parents' home in 2016, and since then I have moved 15-17 times, depending what you count as a move, and lived in 12-13 different places. That's due to a bunch of forced circumstances, including co-op placements and illegal evictions, but many of those moves were because the roommates I was living with decided to move on with their lives, and I had no choice but to move as well.

When I tell people I've moved 15 times in 7 years, they are always shocked. I'm like, how have you NOT though? Having had this conversation many times, I start to ponder what makes me vulnerable to this type of exploitation, and what makes my friends able to avoid some of it.

#1. As a low-income disabled person, I am unable to afford "market rates". This means I'm always tryna get units that are below market rate, and those landlords are invariably very interested in removing their tenants to bring their busted-ass units up to market rate.

#2. I am SINGLE bro. No one is planning their life around living with me. Every time a roommate leaves, I get forced out too. I did have a long-term roommate for a couple years who bounced around 4 places with me, but eventually she moved city - as is her right - and I was forced out again.

Couples also have more options when it comes to affordable housing, particularly if they are willing to share a room. Sharing a room cuts your rent in half. It’s pretty rare to see just one person living in a 1bed because it’s just ludicrously expensive, but for couples it’s a decent option. During the searching stage as well, if you already have someone to live with it’s a lot easier to find places than if you also have to find new roommates (this part is especially brutal for me as a trans person). It is certainly still difficult for couples in the market, I know couples who have ended up homeless as well, but being alone makes you more vulnerable.

The housing crisis is a broad issue affecting literally everyone, but single people are one of the groups that is systematically disadvantaged, making it a significant issue for aros imo. It is the combination of being single and low-income that has made me so vulnerable to housing instability.

Edited with minor corrections

#yo sorry i remade this post cuz there was a bit of an error on it regarding the legality of evictions #hardly matters but i don't like spreading any misinformation #it's hard to evict but easy for the landlord to make your life hell for choosing to stay #and if the people who leave truly want to no longer be responsible for the unit then there is no choice the lease must be broken #which breaks it for all parties #insane #bonkers insane laws

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anomalyaly · 3 days ago

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Secrets of the Silent Stars

Chapter 21: Christmas Eve (snippet)

Happy Christmas Eve to those who celebrate!

I'm sharing a snippet of my Christmas Eve chapter from my fic in honor of today. You can read the rest of it on AO3 or Wattpad.

Relax.

Home wasn't exactly the most relaxing environment, especially during the holidays.

Elsie packed up her truck and heaved a sigh. She was out of uniform, instead choosing to wear a warm, knit brown skirt and a white blouse. Her brown scarf and matching overcoat sat by her bedside, ready for her to put on when she left for the train station.

Her roommate Samantha entered the room, her hair pulled back in her usual loose bun. She had chosen an outfit more casual, opting for a Ravenclaw sweater and a pair of trousers. She already had a black overcoat on, ready to leave when Elsie was finished.

"Can you believe it's nearly Christmas already?" she asked. "I feel like we've only just gotten here."

Elsie smiled at her roommate. "Me too, sort of. I think it'll be nice to be away from studies for a while."

Samantha hummed in agreement. "Are you and Sebastian going to write then?"

Elsie sat up straight. "What?"

"You know. You both have been inseparable since the beginning of term, but he's staying here." She shoved another few items into her trunk. "I'm surprised you didn't decide to stay here, too."

"We're not –" Elsie was getting tired of having to explain the concept of her friendship with Sebastian over and over. The fact that people were talking about seeing the two of them together made her uncomfortable, like she was once again the main topic of their gossip. And since the last time they spoke, she wanted nothing to do with him.

"Sebastian is my friend," Elsie said, "but…I think he's cross with me right now."

She could admit that much to Samantha. Rooming together had allowed her to open up at least a little, even though she was still out of the loop with Elsie's secrets when it came to exactly what all she had gone through during her first few months at Hogwarts.

Samantha nodded her understanding as the two girls prepared to leave for the train station. "Well, I'm sure whatever it is, you two will work it out. I couldn't imagine staying angry at someone like you for very long."

Elsie snorted, toying with the empty fudge container she had left on her desk from hers and Sebastian's trip to Hogsmeade. He had bought her sweets from Honeydukes, despite her protests, and though she wasn't particularly a 'fudge' person, she had picked it out to appease him. Being the overly sentimental person that she was, she had cleaned it out and used it to store other various trinkets that she had deemed important. It was a quality box, after all - metallic with an intricate design that was meant more as a souvenir rather than a student's snack box.

It seemed like so long ago.

"Believe me, it's not that difficult. You're just a nice person, Sam. You forgive people easily."

"I do," she grinned. "But what's the point in holding a grudge? It's exhausting. If I held a grudge every time my brother William went and mucked something up, we'd never speak again."

Elsie had heard Samantha share a fair amount of stories about William - including how he broke into their family tomb and had his feet turned into beets. The Dale family had to find a Curse-breaker from the Ministry just to reverse the curse. Samantha thought her brother needed the humbling - perhaps he would listen next time to the warnings.

"It'll be nice to see him again without his beet feet," Samantha mused, and Elsie let out a laugh.

"Come on," she said, giving Argos, her owl, a pet. "We'd better say our goodbyes to the others before we head to the station."

Elsie gave Natty and Poppy each a long hug before departing. Natty and Professor Onai were traveling for the holiday - an excuse to get off of the castle grounds, and for Professor Onai to keep Natty out of the trouble she suspected she was getting in. Her mother had heard of a gazelle wandering around Hogsmeade - Natty's animagus form, which Elsie had only recently learned of. Professor Onai thought the distraction might help.

Poppy, on the other hand, was going to visit with her Gran. She missed her terribly. After Elsie and Poppy had returned the dragon's egg a few days ago and told the centaurs to look for the once thought-to-be-extinct snidgets that the poachers might be after, she believed now would be a safe time to visit, if only for a few days.

Elsie stood on the platform, cursing the bitter Scotland winds and silently praying that when she returned to complete the third trial, it wouldn't involve flying on a broom to some faraway place. Traveling in this weather was difficult enough - flying on a broom felt like flying through broken glass.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the Hogwarts Express finally arrived. She climbed aboard and followed Samantha into one of the compartments.

"What are you doing for the holidays?" Samantha asked.

Elsie sighed. "My family lives in London. Nothing unordinary - a church service on Christmas Eve, a dinner party. The usual."

Samantha tilted her head. "Church?"

"A religious thing." Elsie waved her hand dismissively. She had forgotten so easily how different wizarding customs were from muggle customs, and explaining it to Samantha would be tedious. "It's one of those muggle traditions."

"Ah," Samantha said. "I really need to brush up on my muggle studies. We live close to so many of them. I know I even have muggles somewhere in my family line. It's important information."

"Not everyone would agree with you on that, from what I've heard," Elsie snorted.

"That's utterly barmy." Samantha rolled her eyes. "Those people can shove it. And if anyone says anything to you, I'll tell them to shove it."

Elsie giggled. "Thanks, Sam."

At least even without Sebastian, she had someone like Samantha who stayed positive and knew how to cheer her up. She had a feeling that if she could tell Samantha the full story of all that had occurred between them, she would have a few things to say to him as well.

"If I were to get you a present," Samantha spoke up after a long silence, "what would you want?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"Elsie," Samantha scoffed, "you're my roommate and my friend. I'm not going to not get you a Christmas present."

Elsie toyed with her coat buttons. "I just don't want you to feel obligated," she murmured.

"Obligated to get you a Christmas present," she said flatly. "Honestly - do they not have Christmas gift exchanges in the muggle world? Because you're acting like this isn't something completely normal."

Elsie let out a short laugh. "No, they do, obviously. I just don't want you to have to go out of your way for me because you feel like you have to simply because we're friends."

"Now you sound barmy." Samantha shook her head. "I'm not going to buy you the entirety of the trolly or anything extravagant if that's what you're worried about."

Elsie had already been planning on getting her friends some gifts when she returned to London. She had a few ideas in mind - new beast care supplies and a stuffed animal for Poppy, a new scarf and a travel journal for Natty, and some seeds and gardening tools for Samantha.

She didn't know Ominis well, but she thought about getting him something simple and elegant, like a pair of gloves or a handkerchief - something that he could feel the textures of. It wouldn't make up for everything she and Sebastian had been putting him through - not that she was trying to buy his friendship - but at the least, she could give it to him as a subtle way of letting him know that she did care.

That left Sebastian. She wasn't going to think about him right now.

"I like sweets," she told Samantha. "And…books. If you happen to find anything interesting. I know, it's cliche –"

"Who cares if it's cliche!" Samantha laughed. "I'll see what I can find for you."

The train pulled into King's Cross Station. Elsie chewed her lip nervously.

Time to face whatever home life had for her. After her time away at Hogwarts, she wasn't sure what to expect.

Read the rest of 'Secrets of the Silent Stars on AO3/Wattpad

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy mc #elsie corvin #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow x fmc #sebastian sallow fanfic #ravenclaw oc #hogwarts legacy oc #hl fanfic #hl mc

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aurumacadicus · 1 year ago

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Alright my friends, it's time to choose the book for February! Our theme for the month: Romance! I'm not original. However, the bar for romance was skimming the floor and so we have a wide variety of titles to choose from! If you'd like to join the book club, send me a message and I'll send you the link to our Discord! The summaries for the titles are under the cut!

Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye

Reader, I murdered him. A Gothic retelling of Jane Eyre. Like the heroine of the novel she adores, Jane Steele suffers cruelly at the hands of her aunt and schoolmaster. And like Jane Eyre, they call her wicked - but in her case, she fears the accusation is true. When she flees, she leaves behind the corpses of her tormentors. A fugitive navigating London's underbelly, Jane rights wrongs on behalf of the have-nots whilst avoiding the noose. Until an advertisement catches her eye. Her aunt has died and the new master at Highgate House, Mr Thornfield, seeks a governess. Anxious to know if she is Highgate's true heir, Jane takes the position and is soon caught up in the household's strange spell. When she falls in love with the mysterious Charles Thornfield, she faces a terrible dilemma: can she possess him - body, soul and secrets - and what if he discovers her murderous past?

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Carry On - The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery. It has just as much kissing and talking as you'd expect from a Rainbow Rowell story - but far, far more monsters.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl's castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there's far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye.

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick

A romantic ode to the strength of love and the power of choosing each other, against odds and obstacles, again and again. What would you do if you forgot the love of your life ever even existed? Stevie and Nora had a love. A secret, epic, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. They also had a plan: to leave their small, ultra-conservative town and families behind after graduation and move to California, where they could finally stop hiding that love. But then Stevie has a terrible fall. And when she comes to, she can remember nothing of the last two years—not California, not coming to terms with her sexuality, not even Nora. Suddenly, Stevie finds herself in a life she doesn’t quite understand, one where she’s estranged from her parents, drifting away from her friends, lying about the hours she works, dating a boy she can’t remember crushing on, and headed towards a future that isn’t at all what her fifteen-year-old self would have envisioned. And Nora finds herself…forgotten. Can the two beat the odds a second time and find their way back together when “together” itself is just a lost memory?

Caught in a Bad Fauxmance by Elle Gonzalez Rose

A fresh, fun contemporary rom-com from debut author Elle Gonzalez Rose, about an aspiring artist who agrees to fake date one of his family’s longtime enemies in the hopes of gathering intel good enough to take down their rivals once and for all. Devin Baez is ready for a relaxing winter break at Lake Andreas. That is, until he runs into his obnoxious next-door neighbors the Seo-Cookes, undefeated champions of the lake’s annual Winter Games. In the hope of finally taking down these long-time rivals, the Baezes offer up their beloved cabin in a bet. Reckless? Definitely. So when annoyingly handsome Julian Seo-Cooke finds himself in need of a fake boyfriend, Devin sees an opportunity to get behind enemy lines and prove the family plays dirty. As long as Devin and Julian’s families are at war, there’s only room for loathing between them. Which is a problem because, for Devin, this faux game of love is feeling very real.

Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev

All her world's a stage. Bertie Shakespeare Smith is not an actress, yet she lives in a theater. She's not an orphan, but she has no parents. She knows every part, but she has no lines of her own. That is, until now. Enter Stage Right NATE. Dashing pirate. Will do anything to protect Bertie. COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED, and PEASEBLOSSOM. Four tiny and incredibly annoying fairies. BERTIE'S sidekicks. ARIEL. Seductive air spirit and Bertie's weakness. The symbol of impending doom. BERTIE. Our heroine. Welcome to the Théâtre Illuminata, where the actors of every play ever written can be found behind the curtain. They were born to play their parts, and are bound to the Théâtre by The Book, an ancient and magical tome of scripts. Bertie is not one of them, but they are her family, and she is about to lose them all and the only home she has ever known. Lisa Mantchev has written a debut novel that is dramatic, romantic, and witty, with an irresistible and irreverent cast of characters who are sure to enchant the audience. Open Curtain

#polls #book club

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lululawrence · 2 months ago

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Can I have page 31 please

you can ABSOLUTELY have some fics from page 31 babes! love youuuuuu

page 31 of my bookmarks on ao3 include...

Have Love, Will Travel by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything

Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.

It soon becomes obvious to their viewers that there’s something more than friendship between them. Eventually, they figure it out.

From What I've Tasted of Desire by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou this fic is locked and therefore requires an AO3 account to read

When Louis moves to the small Scottish town of Fortrose to spend some time with his father, he thinks he's come to terms with the fact that the next two years of his life will be rainy and dull. That changes when he meets the ever-elusive Harry Styles in his Biology class and he makes it his goal to find out the big secret surrounding him and his family. Louis unexpectedly finds himself in the eye of a storm of secrecy, age-old myths, friendship and romance.

That Summer Feelin' by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

It isn’t until she’s in her room changing into her pajamas that she realizes Louis Tomlinson is going to be her roommate. It’s as if she summoned her with her mind because Louis pops the door open with her bags in hand. Harry scrambles to pull her tank top on, suddenly feeling self conscious about her body.

Louis scoffs, but doesn’t utter anything else. She notices the bunk beds, sees that Harry has already claimed her bed.

“Cool, I love being on top anyway,” Louis states chuckling.

Suddenly all of Harry’s plans about having a peaceful summer where no one knows her have gone out the window.

Harry's been looking forward to going back to work at Canyon Moon Camp all year. She's excited for a chance to have a peaceful summer where no one knows her. The last person she expects to see is Louis Tomlinson, the girl with the bad reputation at school back home. Harry is finally forced to face the feelings she's been avoiding since the first time she laid eyes on Louis. Good thing she has all summer to figure them out.

Choose one of my 103 pages of bookmarks in AO3 and I'll give you a random selection of fics from that page!

#asks #so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed #fic rec #sunshine project

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latenightreadingpdf · 2 months ago

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Secrets of the Heart - Marauders Era

Chapter 4 - Crossing Paths

Secrets of the Heart Masterlist

Potions class had gone smoother than Aurora expected—aside from Sirius nearly blowing up their cauldron. Now, as she gathered her things and tried to slip out of the classroom unnoticed, she realized her plan to go through the day quietly wasn’t going to work. The Marauders, particularly Sirius and James, were still hovering near her, their curiosity evident.

“So, Beauxbatons, huh?” Sirius started, falling into step beside her as they exited the dungeon. “What was it like there? Is it all posh and proper? You seem a bit different.”

Aurora kept her eyes forward, shrugging. “It was fine.”

James, on her other side now, chimed in. “Yeah? And why transfer? Did they kick you out for being too mysterious?”

Aurora shot him a side glance, her expression flat. “No.”

Remus, trailing a little behind them, smiled apologetically. “You don’t have to answer them, you know. They’re relentless.”

“That’s the truth,” Aurora muttered under her breath, quickening her pace.

“Oh, come on!” Sirius complained with an exaggerated grin. “You can’t leave us in suspense. Mysterious girl from Beauxbatons, suddenly showing up here at Hogwarts, acting like she doesn’t want to be our friend—there’s got to be a story there.”

“Nothing exciting. My parents move a lot for work, so I transferred,” Aurora said shortly, hoping that would be the end of it.

But Sirius wasn’t satisfied. “What kind of work? Aurors? Curse breakers? Dark Arts hunters?”

James snorted. “Yeah, like her parents are secretly spies or something.”

“Something like that,” Aurora said, barely hiding the sarcasm in her tone as she dodged the real answer. She was done with the conversation.

Before they could press further, Aurora spotted a group of Hufflepuff girls from her year heading toward the Great Hall. She recognized her roommates and took the opportunity to break away from the boys. “I’ve got to go,” she said, waving them off as she hurried over to join the girls.

“Catch you later, then!” Sirius called after her, though she didn’t turn back.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Lunch was a welcome change of pace. Aurora sat with her Hufflepuff roommates, a small group of kind-hearted, chatty girls who made her feel more at ease. She was glad to discover that they weren’t put off by her quiet demeanor and sharp looks. They exchanged stories about the welcome feast, gossip about the Marauders, and shared tips about surviving certain classes.

For the first time since arriving, Aurora felt like she was finding her place. There was something comforting about the warmth of the Hufflepuff table, even if she mostly listened rather than spoke.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

After lunch, Aurora headed to Herbology. The greenhouse was full of the earthy scent of soil and the soft rustle of plants. She was one of the first to arrive, choosing a seat in the middle of the greenhouse. Soon after, Remus walked in, a friendly smile lighting up his face when he spotted her.

“Mind if I sit here?” he asked, gesturing to the seat next to her.

Aurora nodded, feeling a little more relaxed around him compared to Sirius and James. Remus had a calming presence, one that didn’t push her for answers or make her feel like she was under a spotlight.

The lesson began with Professor Sprout introducing a term-long partner project. Aurora had a feeling that if Remus ended up being her partner, things would go smoothly. He was attentive and focused during class, asking thoughtful questions about the plants they were studying. Aurora found herself thinking that Remus wasn’t as annoying as the other two Marauders. In fact, she could see herself working well with him.

As class wrapped up, Professor Sprout called for students to choose their partners for the project. Remus turned to her with a small smile. “Do you want to be partners?”

Aurora agreed with a nod. “Sure.”

They left the greenhouse together, Remus giving her another one of those easygoing smiles. “You know, Sirius and James mean well. They’re just... loud.”

“They’re definitely something,” Aurora said dryly.

Remus chuckled. “I can’t argue with that. Anyways, I’ve got to go, I’ll see you around.”

As they parted ways, and Aurora felt a strange sense of relief. It was nice to have at least one Marauder who wasn’t constantly trying to get under her skin.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The rest of her day passed by without much incident, and soon it was time for dinner. Aurora entered the Great Hall, hoping to sit quietly with her housemates, but she caught sight of the Marauders waving her over from the Gryffindor table. Sirius, of course, was the one beckoning her the most enthusiastically.

For a moment, she debated ignoring them. She didn’t owe them anything, and it would be easy to blend into the crowd. But something—maybe curiosity, maybe the tiniest hint of interest in what they might say next—made her turn and walk toward them.

“Ah, there she is!” James grinned as Aurora sat down at the edge of their group.

“Thought you were going to ignore us,” Sirius said, his mouth full of bread.

“I considered it,” Aurora admitted, picking at her food.

Remus chuckled from his seat next to her. “Give them time. They’ll grow on you.”

James perked up suddenly. “So, you’re going to love this—Lily was in one of my classes today, and—” He launched into an animated retelling of his encounters with Lily Evans, his tone growing more dramatic with each word.

Aurora listened with mild interest, though it was clear this wasn’t the first time James had gone on about Lily. She glanced at Remus, who gave her a knowing look as if to say, here we go again.

“Right, so here’s the thing about James and Lily,” Sirius began, leaning closer. “He’s been in love with her for, what, two years now?”

“More like obsessed,” Remus corrected, raising an eyebrow.

“And every time he sees her, he somehow manages to make it worse,” Sirius finished with a grin.

James shot them a mock glare. “Oi, I’m making progress!”

Aurora couldn’t help but smirk. It was hard to imagine James ever being smooth enough to charm someone as composed as Lily.

As the conversation continued, Aurora found herself loosening up a little. Despite their antics, the Marauders weren’t entirely unbearable. In fact, there was a certain warmth to their banter that reminded her of her Hufflepuff roommates.

Eventually, though, as the evening wore on, Aurora began to feel the exhaustion of the day catching up with her. She stood up, gathering her things. “I’m heading up. Got to get ready for tomorrow.”

The boys paused, looking up at her.

“Heading back to the badgers’ den, are you?” Sirius teased lightly.

“Mhm,” Aurora hummed with a small smile.

James waved lazily. “See you tomorrow, then, Beauxbatons.”

“Night,” Remus said, offering her a friendly nod.

Aurora gave them a final glance before heading out of the Great Hall. As she walked toward the Hufflepuff common room, she couldn’t help but feel that, despite her initial resistance, maybe Hogwarts—and the Marauders—weren’t going to be so bad after all.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

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x-atlas-x · 1 year ago

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A continuation of this post :3 Enjoy~!

Yugi groaned dramatically as Atem tugged at his arm. He yelped when his roommate succeeded, ending up with him in the floor next to his bed.

Yugi glared up at him, “What is wrong with you? Can’t a guy sleep in?!”

“You’ve been sleeping in for the past few days,” Atem pointed out and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m tired of seeing you mope about that asshole. It’s about time you get out of the house.”

Atem walked away, and Yugi propped up on his elbows to watch him. He raised a brow when he saw some of his clothes draped over the back of his desk chair.

“What did you do?” Yugi asked, finally rising to his feet.

“I picked out some clothes for you,” Atem said and gestured to the outfit. “You and I are going for a drive.”

Yugi frowned, “Why?”

Atem rolled his eyes, “I told you, you need to get out of the house. I’m going to change that. We’re going on a drive, and that’s that. You’re not getting out of this.”

“I’d like to heal my poor, broken heart on my own terms,” Yugi huffed; however, he tore his tank top off and reached for the sweater Atem had picked out.

“Can you do it in a way that’ll make you look…” Atem toyed with a strand of Yugi’s greasy bangs and winced, “Less depressed?”

Yugi smacked his hand away and nodded to the door, “Unless you want to make fun of my boxers again, I suggest you get out.”

Atem smirked, “What kind are they this time? Don’t tell me they’re the tacky ones with the pizzas on them—“

“Get out!”

Atem cackled as he hurried out of Yugi’s room and slammed the door behind him. Yugi huffed and shoved his sweatpants down, kicking them off to the side.

He eyed the pizza slices on his boxers, then grumbled, “They were a joke from Jou…”

He tugged the jeans on, then begrudgingly put on his favorite combat boots. He tied his hair in a lazy ponytail before meeting Atem in the living room.

“There you are,” Atem hummed as he looked him up and down. “You look much more alive.”

Yugi shrugged, “Thanks.”

Atem grabbed his keys off of the counter and swung them around his finger, motioning for Yugi to follow him to the front door, “Come on, we’re getting breakfast.”

“What kind of breakfast?”

“That’s up to you,” Atem insisted. He locked the door behind them, then smiled at Yugi, “What’re you in the mood for? And don’t say nothing—“

“Nothing,” Yugi spitefully answered.

“You’re impossible,” Atem sighed. “Fine. If you won’t choose, then I will. You can starve for all I care.”

“Okay!” Yugi rushed after Atem, walking beside him as they headed to the elevator. “How about waffles? I could kill for a stack of ‘em.”

“That works. We’ll go to the diner down the street.”

Yugi didn’t understand where Atem’s sudden kindness was coming from. Ever since they moved in together, they’d bashed heads on everything and argued constantly. They threatened to move out just so the other could deal with paying the rent on their own.

That never happened, though. Yugi didn’t have the time nor energy to find another apartment, and he recalled Atem mentioning his own struggle to find one he could afford. They had simply endured the disagreements for the sake of not having to move again.

Atem wasn’t the type to show pity, which made Yugi all the more confused about why he was doing this—not that he was complaining. If Atem wanted to force him into this, then why not?

“I’m not going to owe you for this, am I?” Yugi spoke up as he buckled his seatbelt.

“No,” Atem scoffed, casting a look at him. “Just let me be nice for once.”

Yugi lifted his hands in surrender, “Say less.”

Once they arrived at the diner, they settled in a worn out booth to eat. They ordered their food and ate in peaceful silence, sharing a few words here and there.

To his surprise, Atem paid for his breakfast. When Yugi tried to give him money, Atem shooed it away, reassuring him that it was alright. Yugi let it slide, but he was growing more suspicious with each minute they were together.

After they finished up, the two climbed back into the car. Atem began driving through the city until they reached a sign that said they were leaving the limits. Yugi peeked back over his shoulder, then let his gaze drift over to Atem.

“Where exactly are we going?”

Atem grinned and rolled down the front windows, then opened the sunroof above them. Yugi sputtered at the wind hitting him in the face and whipping his bangs around.

“Atem!” He whined and sank down in his seat.

“Come on, live a little!” Atem exclaimed. He turned onto a backroad and gestured to the sunroof, “Have you ever hung out of there before?”

“You’re the only person I know with a sunroof.”

“Give it a try, then!” Atem braked to slow the car down to safer speed.

“I’m nervous,” Yugi admitted, but he unbuckled nonetheless. He straddled the console and narrowed his eyes at Atem, “You better not crash.”

“I promise,” Atem assured. “Just enjoy yourself.”

Yugi inhaled a deep breath, then poked his head out of the sunroof. He planted his arms on top of the car and he could barely breathe with the rush of air hitting him in the face.

Once he figured out how to not suffocate on his own oxygen, he could admire the view around him. He marveled at the trees that whizzed by and beamed when he peered up at the blue sky. He scanned the fluffy clouds and laughed, extending his arms out as embraced the wind.

He heard a familiar tune from the radio inside the car. He perked up when he realized it was one of his favorite sings. He began belting it at the top of his lungs while Atem continued weaving through the curvy road.

When he collapsed back into the passenger seat, he shared a bright smile with Atem. His heart was racing, and he felt happier than he had been in months. Yugi couldn’t believe he was able to have such a good time with his roommate.

Maybe spending the day with Atem wasn’t so bad after all.

#just a lil smth sweet :3 #yugioh #ygo #yugi mutou #atem #puzzleshipping

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justconstantly · 9 months ago

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MY TOP 9 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME

tagged by @belladonnafey

couldn't sleep, saw ur tag zoph (<3), and here we are. I'm a big album listener so this was a struggle for me, but I tried to avoid all my short term obsessions and only pick my absolute favs, ones I could listen to no skips at any time (order here isn't a ranking or anything, solely was aesthetic for the collage)

lungs (deluxe) - Florence+the machine

fav songs: I'm not calling you a liar, bird song, kiss with a fist

every spare moment for the entire summer of 2014 my brother and I played Minecraft on a LAN server together and I listened exclusively to a YouTube playlist of this album on repeat and that's definitely part of why I am the way I am

heretic pride - the mountain goats

fav songs: autoclave, lovecraft in brooklyn

funnily enough, not one of the three goats albums I have on vinyl, the others are better for living room activities that my record player is good for (lounging, plant watering, etc) but this one is still my all time fav

wasteland baby - hozier

fav songs: almost (sweet music), wasteland baby

RIP my college roommates in spring 2019 because I listened to only this album for approximately 2.5 months and I think they hated me for it (blasting it out loud, singing badly, etc)

Grace - Jeff buckley

fav songs: lover you should've come over, dream brother

this album is so so cool, I mean even discounting Jeff buckleys angelic voice, the haunting guitar? the early modern English hymn?? lilac wine AND hallelujah??? makes me feel incredible

sound and color - alabama shakes

fav songs: this feeling, shoegaze

this whole album makes me just dance/sway around my apartment feeling like I'm the most soulful and tender person alive

post-war - M. ward

fav songs: Chinese translation, right in the head, rollercoaster, magic trick

makes me so indescribably nostalgic for a life I've never lived. when I heard Chinese translation for the first time I was like hmm I'm different now

collapsed in sunbeams - Arlo parks

fav songs: too good, eugene

got the vinyl from my library on a whim to listen to while me and my roomie did a puzzle and spent the next 2 weeks of the hold just glued to the record player, haven't bought my own copy yet but it's on my wishlist FOR SURE just perfect lazy living room vibes for me

crawler - IDLES

fav songs: the beachland ballroom, meds, car crash

massive thank you @azertykeys for recommending me idles bc this album is a go to for me when I'm coding and/or also just in my feelings

bridge over troubled water - Simon & Garfunkel

fav songs: keep the customer satisfied, the boxer, the only living boy in New York, why don't you write me

my parents listened to quite a bit of Simon and Garfunkel when I was a kid and I didn't realize I knew them until I was like 20 and my friend was playing their greatest hits and I knew every word to every song. she was like why do you know so much Simon and Garfunkel and I was like oh is that who this is? anyway love this album, my vinyl is a treasured posession

only reason mitski isn't on this list is because I can't choose between any of her albums

other honorable mentions:

<COPINGMECHANISM> by willow

hospice by antlers

woman on the internet by Orla gartland

case/lang/veirs by case/lang/veirs

transgender dysphoria blues by against me

fetch the bolt cutters by Fiona apple

she won't make sense by the harmleighs

this was long so absolutely no pressure, but tagging @azertykeys @heart-to-hearts @bromaine-lettuce @junewild @unnonexistence @navigatorwrongway and anyone who sees this and wants to give it a go

#this was funnnn #i love music and making lists SO much #mutuals pspspspspsp

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dsneybuf91 · 12 days ago

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An Uncharacteristically Early Wicked [Part I] Review

The second Broadway musical adapted to cinema by Chinese-American director Jon M. Chu, Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman's Wicked loosely retells novelist Gregory Maguire's dystopian reinterpretation of The Wizard of Oz, fleshing out the backstory and motivations of the so-called Wicked Witch of the West. When Chu and the writers couldn't figure out how to streamline this long-running musical into one movie, they ended up expanding the adaptation into a two-parter. Although live-action musicals and stories about Oz often prove a tough sell to moviegoers, Wicked Part I - which Universal advertises as standalone - has become Chu's first movie to gross over $400 million worldwide, and - after Crazy Rich Asians - only his second non-sequel blockbuster. Perhaps more importantly, the craft, compelling characters, and social commentary of Wicked Part I help it seem destined for a long shelf life.

Wicked [Part I]

Wide release date: November 22, 2024

Director: Jon M. Chu

Writers: Winnie Holzman & Dana Fox (script); Stephen Schwartz (songs)

Something has changed within mе. Something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.

-Elphaba Thropp

Naturally covering only Act I of the Wicked musical, Wicked Part I shares events preceding those recorded in L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and its embellished 1939 movie adaptation, focusing on ostracized sorceress Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo)'s term as a student of Shiz University. The lifelong outcast seems to acquire newfound acceptance as she impresses her teachers with her wisdom and powers of levitation, and develops an unlikely friendship with privileged roommate Galinda (Ariana Grande). After the forced literal silencing of Oz's talking Animals results in the firing of Shiz's non-human faculty members, a disturbingly enlightening visit to the Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum) will require Elphaba and the self-rechristened Glinda to choose whether to pursue the approval of Oz's elite, or the need to help those the elite treats unfairly.

Prior to the release of Part I, Wicked became one of the few musicals that I saw professionally staged twice. (However, I missed the beginning of the former performance, and also have only read extracts of the novel.) I ended up preferring Act I to Act II, for such reasons as the former delivering a larger number of my favorite songs, and the show's flow gradually worsening as it approached Elphaba's defeat. Part I reached cinemas near the end of a year that distressed me for reasons both societal and personal, but provides an appropriate diversion from my worries that next year will suck even harder. By expanding Act I into a movie that runs even longer than the play, Part I seamlessly reinforces Wicked's often-jovial and surprisingly intellectual strengths.

Wicked takes impressive advantage of its second change in medium. The prolonged runtime and protracted production time allowed the writers to flesh out and update the characterization and worldbuilding, including additional looks at the discrimination against green-skinned Elphaba and the Animals. Intimate photography and emotionally-driven editing allow a palpable pace for the story. One of the most solid casts I've seen for a contemporary movie musical unleashes nuanced physical performances and believable chemistry, both in between and during stellar new renditions of iconic showtunes. Padding rarely feels obvious, and never distracts the audience from remaining invested in Elphaba's and Glinda's arcs. Sequences in which all of the aforementioned non-specist elements enhance the evolution of the witches' relationship beyond stage-bound limitations include "What is this Feeling?", now an energetic montage tracing several days of playful "loathing" all over campus, and the Ozdust Ballroom dance, a pathos-injected look at a disgraced "Elphie" and a remorseful Glinda sharing a cathartic evening.

Like The Wonderful Wizard... and its most-beloved adaptations, Wicked has persisted for decades by supplementing the fantasy with fascinating characters, and timeless and relatable themes. In addition to promoting the importance of companionship and self-confidence, depictions of Oz often establish it as a place where one can't always trust their first impressions. The seemingly-unfeeling could possess a human level of sentience, and a supposed wizard actually can't produce any magic more powerful than inner strength. Perhaps it seemed inevitable that even if pre-Wicked portrayals of the Wicked Witch of the West left no room for sympathy, such Oz fans as Maguire, Holzman, and Wicked's own admirers would want to redefine her title. Erivo and Chu help Elphaba endear through her typically self-assured and confident attitude, but also showcase her humanity whenever she needs to overcome heartbreak or disillusionment.

While Elphaba's universally-comprehendible searches for acceptance and her calling remain the main focus, this movie notably makes an even greater effort than the play did to engage viewers in the Animals' endeavors as well. The addition of more Animals and a shadow puppet show to "Something Bad" chillingly elaborate on the oppression occurring outside of Shiz, while other scenes prove that Elphaba and campus heartthrob Fiyero (Jonathan Bailey) sympathized with Animals even before their ban from the faculty. In the nearly-three decades since Maguire launched the Wicked book series, its notion of tyrants vilifying marginalized groups and their sympathizers has unfortunately proven realistic more than once. Just as people of Oz persecute Animals and Elphaba for crises either exacerbated or created by the Wizard's lack of genuine magic, Chu has recalled that while he filmed In the Heights, media blaming Chinese-Americans for the COVID-19 pandemic provoked the harassment of his friends, and instilled in him a fear of venturing outside his residence.

In an interview released four days after Wicked Part I entered wide release, Chu confessed that when Universal offered the musical to him during lockdown, he realized that the empowering lyrics of the Act I finale, "Defying Gravity," paralleled his newfound determination to speak out against the obstacles society places against immigrants. The separation of Wicked's acts repurposes the deservedly esteemed song, now the number that ends the musical for viewers either unable or unwilling to watch Part II. It works surprisingly well in either context, as the final justification for Elphaba to disconnect from both self-preserving Glinda and the deceptive Wizard; apparently kicking off the lonely future the opening confirms for the witches. Her introspection and strengthening mastery of the Grimmerie's spells evoke Baum's original Oz books, in which major characters discover the solutions to their problems inside their humble selves.

The film breaks up "Defying Gravity" with some illustrations of Elphaba's improving sense of self-worth. In a moment of silent tension before the final verse, she must ascend from a free fall by summoning her broomstick, and envisions her younger self (Karis Musongole) plummeting beside her. The broom returns to her grasp after she and her younger self reach out towards each other, as a triumphant reflection of Elphaba proving to herself the importance of resilience and seeking new means to achieve justice. Visually, the number's other most notable embellishment occurs when Elphaba shuts down the Emerald City's lights before soaring into "the Western sky." As another of several obviously-symbolic lighting choices, it separates a population submissive to the Wizard, including people "in the dark" about the true extent of his supposed powers and generosity, from the enlightened "Wicked Witch." Back on the ground, Madame Morrible (Chinese-Malaysian Michelle Yeoh, whom I hope to have more to say about after Wicked Part II) pulling Glinda into the darkness places the women who once showed strong support for "Elphie" in between the extremes; knowing the truth about Elphaba and the Wizard, but actively refusing to take a genuine stand against his atrocities. I've had less trouble than other fans in adjusting to the changes in "Defying Gravity"'s momentum, particularly because the Original Broadway Cast Recording's edits to the dialogue resulted in a similar experience when I first attended the play.

Whether or not a viewer has already seen Act II, they presumably know from at least one version of The Wonderful Wizard... that eventually the Wizard's eagerness to please and incapability for enchantments will prompt him to surrender Oz's throne. However, the beginning of Part I confirms that despite this duology's myriad of differences from other versions of Oz, the liquidation of Elphaba will prohibit her from supporting any chance of improvement in the next regime. Fortunately, the framing device of Glinda wistfully remembering the truth behind her "wickedness" suggests a devotion to continue Elphaba's cause. At least for an optimistic viewer, this demonstrates that even when a movement for justice seems hopeless, it could still yield a beneficial effect; in this case inspiration for other people to disagree with tyranny. Thanks to such passionate talents as Jon M. Chu, the first half of Wicked's conscious and charming fable is now skillfully preserved in a form suitable for empowering generations of fantasy lovers.

Plug

Violence towards Asian-Americans persists at alarming levels. I would like my readers to donate to The AAPI Community Fund, even if I personally take no share of the funds.

#my posts #wicked #wicked part 1 #land of oz #jon m chu #elphaba thropp #defying gravity #stop asian hate

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dateamonster · 9 months ago

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longass monster high liveblog: season 2 edition lets gooooooo

rule school

very first thought of the new season: i want a doll of clawdeens wereruler armor so bad. also im excited for more worldbuilding lore stuff, and more varied werecreature designs! part of me gets a little irked sometimes that there seems to be disproportionate attention payed to werecreatures and the inner workings of their society over other monster species, but i cannot deny, i love a funny lil furry.

especially this side character bear dude who keeps showing up

rly feels like there should be a clause in were-society for what to do if ur wereruler is a fuckin kid. she should not have to be doing all this.

when she finally gets that armor off its gonna be like rock lee with the weights

i love these cunty old werewolf ladies ngl

damn speedreader clawdeen

that painting of foxford is soo cute clawdeen i loove u

toralei!! toralei HUG!!!!!!!! hug AND a pun!!! shes sososososo cute

oh and shes maaaad that she showed affection where other people can see lol the Dynamic.. it is unfolding before my very eyes..

oh damn the fox guy is a sneaky motherfucker? who could have foreseen this....... granted the whale plushie is unexpected

new witch in town

draculauras gay lil witch friend <333

lol is humans using monster slang a microaggression? much to think about.

im really interested in this developing plotline about draculaura being pressured to be like the model of Good Witchcraft. it works well with her established character and arc of like trying to live up to her fathers reputation and status in the monster world. poor girl never seems to be able to just fucking relax.

skelita! i love that shes trying out witchcraft, and the art-based magic is a fun angle too! i can totally see where this is going tho. drac is super serious about magic because theres all this pressure on her while skelita is just trying it out in a casual way so theyre at odds. its an interesting dilemma because i can def see both sides.

im really happy the writing seems like empathetic to both positions here. skelita deserves to try magic her way on her own terms, but its also totally understandable draculaura would feel protective over witchcraft when any misuse of it is ultimately going to reflect on her since she was the one working to legitimize it. respectability is a double edged sword fr!

play it again clawd

aw clawd is such a sweetiepie mamas boy. i def feel a little bad for him. imagine if ur little sister became the queen of ur entire society and ur just like. hangin out there.

oh were doing a groundhog day? im not a big timeloop plot person but ill try not to be too biased

this is also how me and my roommate act when theres a fly in the house

aw im rly glad they acknowledge that selena had like a whole life in beheme that she had to leave behind when she came home.. idk if theyre planning to actually do anything more substantial with that but yea when you think about its kinda fucked up! they probably had friends and stuff! clawd was *born* there! i get why theyd choose to stay here with their family and all even if they could easily go back, but like, its gotta be sad at times!

ok not bad as a timeloop ep goes. still not my fav but like clawds so cute and its so nice seeing him do stuff with his family <3

thats all for tonight i think! see u next time!!

#monster high #liveblogging

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rosalind-hawkins · 10 months ago

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Yay, my first ever ask to someone!

Because I know you love him as much as I do, I'm sure you'll probably won't even have to think very long about the answers: Of course, I'm choosing Duke for the character ask game :D I'd be very much interested in 4, 9, 10, 11, 21, 22, 24 – but of course, choose wichever ones you like or make it everything <3 And for the freebie question a little headcanon: What would be a typical phrase you imagine him saying all the time?

OMG Honored to be your first! <3 <3 <3 And you're right, I always love talking about Duke. Sincerely shocked how little attention he gets overall. And as predicted, I answered way more questions than you asked lol. Enjoy!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

The cheerleaders. I just, oh boy, wow. Please tell me those girls put those uniforms on themselves and he didn't ask them to. That would be so cringe. >.<

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

So, his English VA, Marc Thompson, does the audiobooks for the Star Wars "Fate of the Jedi" book series that my husband and I are listening to, so I find myself frequently picturing Duke in Star Wars outfits during my Duke Devlin Star Wars Storytime. XD

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Cherry Pie by Warrant, cause I imagine him jamming out to it in his classic car. See also Question 12.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Fandom doesn't do enough with him for me to have an answer to this question, but I have seen people giving him new outfits, which I adore. Yes, dress this boy up, he loves it!

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Yes, I appreciate the YGOTAS theme song jokes as much as the next dude, but if you try to find Duke scenes on Youtube, that's all you can find. :(

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Absolutely. I headcanon that he's really tidy with his personal space, and we could take turns making dinner (thank you Season Four for telling us that he's a good cook).

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Quite possibly, yeah. I have some creative indie side projects of my own, and I feel like he'd have good feedback if I needed another set of eyes on some new character designs or plot-points. I will also be hitting him up for haircare tips all the time lol.

11. Would you date this character?

If I weren't married and I had a chance, absolutely yes. Don't know if it would work out long-term, but it would be fun.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I headcanon that he's a big Adam Lambert fan and sings his music in the shower (and everywhere else he sings). Try listening to the Adam Lambert cover of Holding Out For A Hero and try telling me it doesn't have Duke-like levels of drama and flare, I dare you. Other AL songs I think he'd specifically jam to are Fever, Strut, The Light, and Pop That Lock. I don't always have headcanons for a character's taste in music, but I just get really strong vibes on what he's into. I also think he'd listen to a lot of classic rock.

Another few songs that will go on my Duke playlist when I get around to making it: You Put A Spell On Me and Dangerous Hands both by Austin Giorgio, Fangs by Neoni, 100 degrees by Kenzie, basically everything by Steven Rodriguez (there's not a lot, but it's all so sexy), and Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz ft. Yacht Money.

Okay, I admit defeat, Duke Devlin Playlist Post coming soon. (Songs he listens to, not songs about him.)

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I'm not going to pick just one, I can't, but I'll give you my top ships: Mastershipping (Kaiba), Minorshipping (Ryou), Snareshipping (Joey). Poly ships: Mumbleshipping (Kaiba + Ryou), Rollshipping (Joey + Ryou), and Petshipping (Kaiba + Joey). Okay, that's just... all my Duke ships. XD But they're all so good!

I'm intrigued by the idea of Ishizu x Duke, which doesn't have a name. I'm not sure they really know what to make of each other, but I think that keeps them intrigued with each other. I think a first date with them, or even just a flirting scene, could be real fun. She's serious and scholarly, he's fun and free-spirited. They could balance each other.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Him and Tristan, Chaseshipping I think. I think they could be friends just fine, I just don't see the chemistry there.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I'm leaving out ship characters for the sake of this question.

I actually think he and Mai could be really good pals, they'd go shopping and talk about bfs/gfs and have a good time. They also both own convertibles, so you know they have some of the same tastes.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

One thing that's always fun for me is Duke's flirting. Can't say I'm a master of writing flirtation, but I do my best to make Duke look like a master of it, because he is. I do generally just love writing him so much, though. He's one of the least angsty characters that I write, so he always puts me in a happier headspace.

In my fic Rock Bottom, he's a solid friend to Seto without being too nosy, which Seto appreciates so much. They understand each other on an intellectual level, but even after Seto's like "no thanks" to a relationship, Duke makes it clear that he's always free to change his mind in a no-pressure way. He's supportive but not nosy. I've got a chapter coming up (spoilers) in RB Season Three where Seto just needs somewhere to chill and lay low, hide from reality, and Duke's like, "I won't say a word to anyone that you're here, it's fine, no explanation needed, just take a deep breath pal." Doesn't ask what's going on, just takes him in for the night. (Also negotiates him into cuddles, but that's separate lol.)

He's just there for people, doesn't need answers (unless things are bad enough that some kind of involvement is just necessary).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I like when people fill out the details of him balancing his responsibilities between his game shop and managing DDM, or flesh out his relationship with Pegasus even if it's not central to the story. There's just so much more to this boy that we don't get to see, and that stuff just feels like such a necessary backdrop to the rest of his life.

23. Favorite picture(s) of this character?

DSOD did this boy right. He's just so pretty. :')

But also, look at this boy pretending to read while he eavesdrops. And he set up that hammock so dang high off the ground? Looking down on everybody? No, boy has the high ground, tactical advantage. I love him.

And wait, what's that? The most Mastershipping moment in the entire anime, you say? Show me!

Oh. Oh dear. ;P But, for so many reasons, I'll genuinely never get over this scene.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I'm gonna try to stick to canon behaviors and traits for this and not let headcanons influence it too much.

ZEN/Hyun Ryu from Mystic Messenger has the same "I'm pretty and I know it" vibe as Duke and shares the casual-but-constant flirting behavior (also ponytail bros). This is a fun comparison for me because their hair and eye colors are also exact opposites.

From Nanbaka, I'd have to go with Uno, who can be abrasive at times with his enemies/rivals, doesn't let his friends fight alone, and shares the "ladies love me, I know I'm pretty, look at how well I take care of my luscious long hair" confident attitude. Also like Duke, there's a good few times where a friend is doing something/rash or unwise, and he tries to talk reason to them. Also obsessed with games, so they have that hobby in common. He also compulsively flirts with every woman in the vicinity (except the warden, because she's terrifying and he knows better). Real smooth operator, even with the dudes.

From UtaPri, I'd have to go with Ren Jinguji. Look, they're even hammock bros! Exceptionally confident, but also a bit mysterious. Flirty with the ladies, not that he even needs to try that hard. Actually pretty laid back and down to earth most of the time.

He also just moves the way I imagine Duke moving, with that fluid grace of a man's who's totally comfortable in his own skin. Just look at him!!!! LOOK AT THE HIP! *chefs kiss*

Another thing all these boys have in common is a strong fashion sense in addition to a strong sense of showmanship (ZEN as an actor and Ren as an idol, this is obvious, but Uno just can't help showing off lol), two great traits that Duke also has.

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

Honestly, I can imagine him using "yo" a lot, not exactly a phrase, but a slang term. If anyone tells him something like "that's not cool anymore" he just responds with "it is when I say it ;)"

If we're leaning into my headcanons of him as a good cook, maybe he sometimes uses "now we're cooking with gas!" He probably has to explain this to Tristan and/or Joey, which launches him into the discussion of gas vs electric stoves. He's a strong believer in gas stoves being superior. I wouldn't say he's a snob when it comes to cooking, but there's certain things in the kitchen that he has a strong opinion on.

Bonus Headcanon

Duke Devlin's top Halloween Costumes: some kind of imp/demon/devil (let your imagination run wild with this one, because he definitely did), one of his Monster World OCs, the Phantom of the Opera, vampire, ninja.

#ask #answered ask #headcanon #duke devlin #ryuji otogi #otogi ryuji #song recommendation #musings #long post #thank you again for letting me talk about him more #i love him so much #i do recommend the “Fate of the Jedi” series to any Star Wars fans #it's good old canon stuff #theduchessofboredom

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yyunari · 2 years ago

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﹠ 🐰﹕ꕤ﹔ animal noises ! 一 양정원 ᯭ ˓˓ a yang jungwon fic wc. 1.8k

❝ i guess i’m getting too old for this ❞

៸៸ as time passed, y/n and jungwon’s similarities became too overbearing ៹ WARNINGS ⇢ angst, minor character death

( A/N ) it’s been a long time since i’ve written ! this fic is inspired by my current feelings on growing up, i’m turning 18 this year & it doesn’t feel like a reality :(( but pls enjoy this jungwon fic while i find more inspiration to write ! <3

Youth is like spring— a blossoming of new beginnings and new realizations. As a new season arrives, and as we mature, changes occurs all around us. Whether or not we like them, change is inevitable and a product of the circumstances that cause it.

Youth is… fleeting. No matter how much we try to preserve it, it will never stay. We realize the good times will never last. But as the next season starts to take form, it passes by in a flash. We realize that once the good times have already passed. And once we realize that, it’s too late, and the leaves fall off from the trees.

Y/N felt pride with her current youth. She knew that it would be over sooner rather than later, and she wanted to enjoy what she could while she was still able to. It was a stark difference from how her peers acted. While there was a rush for people her age to grow up faster, Y/N preferred to relish in the serenity and comfort that her teenage years provided. It was something that made her feel happier each day, and made it easier for her to live her life stress free.

Many other people her age would disagree and say that youth was repressing and overly angsty. But to Y/N, she was lucky enough to look past all that and choose to live her life the way she wanted. Call her privileged or snobby, it wasn’t as if it was anything she would deny. However, there was someone who lived their life exactly the way Y/N did.

Yang Jungwon, a worker at the cafe near Y/N’s university.

He was the type to sit customers down when they were having a bad day and talk them through it. He was the type to spend time making cute drawings and messages on the sides of people’s cups. He was the type to live the way he wanted to live, and not by other people’s terms.

To Y/N, Jungwon was like a breath of fresh air from a world that moved faster than she wanted it to.

Perhaps it was his bright smile, his charming personality, or the fact that he had the same ideals as her. Whatever it was, Y/N constantly found her eyes drawn to the cafe worker. No matter what situation she was in, her gaze never failed to wander to him.

But she didn’t mind. Jungwon was, for a lack of better words, refreshing.

It took a while for Y/N to gain the courage to speak to Jungwon. Her roommate, Jihan, had to give her a 2 hour long pep talk before she left their apartment that day, just so she would have enough determination to walk out the door.

It was worth it, because that was the day that Y/N and Jungwon’s relationship solidified within the universe.

After their initial friendship (which was started by Y/N offering Jungwon an Aero mint), they spent time on Jungwon’s off days hanging out at various beaches and parks. Being in nature was a common middle ground between them, like many other things were. They were happy with each other, and brought out each other’s good parts. Eventually, Jungwon confessed through a packet of Aero mints. It was corny, but Y/N loved it because it reminded her of how they met.

Their relationship started off slow but passionate, with the honeymoon phase seeming to never quite end. Y/N and Jungwon spent most of their time together and didn’t falter even for a second, because they wanted everyday to be a happy one. It worked in the way that they were similar with their ideals— not wanting to rush anything and living each moment happily with their full efforts. They wanted to savor each day to its fullest and not let anything slip through the cracks. And it worked for a bit, because the two were overly in love with each other. So much so that their days were incomplete if they didn’t meet up at least once.

But the cracks were never fixed, and therefore they began to grow.

It was most apparent the day that Y/N faced her biggest tragedy, the day her mom died.

The news came rather abruptly, and her dad was very straightforward in the delivery. It was a random Tuesday when she received a call that her mom had passed in a car accident. It was as if her world had stopped turning and all the blood rushed to her feet, as she fell onto the ground in a state of intense shock.

Y/N rarely cried, but that day she cried like a baby.

Jihan couldn’t leave her roommate alone for weeks after the news came. She knew she had to be there for Y/N because no one else was willing. After all, Y/N’s dad had ghosted her after making the phone call.

Jungwon, on the other hand, was missing in action while this was all happening.

Each day, Y/N asked Jihan if Jungwon had contacted her or anything.

Each day the answer was no.

But still, Y/N wanted to stay in contact with her boyfriend so she texted him updates about how she felt each day.

The funeral was going to be held in her mom’s hometown, which was at least a 9 hour flight from where Y/N lived. And upon hearing that news, she bought a plane ticket immediately. Despite his absence, Y/N figured he still needed to know so she texted Jungwon about her flight.

And only a few hours later Jungwon was at her doorstep, shifting in place as if he hadn’t been radio silent for three weeks.

Jihan sighed when she opened the door, surprised he was there but decided to humor him for a bit. “Where have you been? Y/N’s been a mess, and her boyfriend hasn’t been doing his job.”

Jungwon pursed his lips at that. She wasn’t wrong of course, but hearing her say it out loud made him embarrassed. “I’m going to explain everything to her. Can you please just let me in?”

As much as Jihan wanted to slam the door in his face, she knew Y/N needed to talk to him so she directed him to her room.

Jungwon found his girlfriend on the floor of her room, eating Aero mints and watching Life in the Dreamhouse. He smiled sadly; because he remembered those chocolates were not only how the two of them met, but they were also her mom’s favorite.

“Y/N?”

The mourning girl paused her show the moment she heard her boyfriend’s voice, and turned around cautiously. It had been three weeks since they spoke and in that time he had been actively ignoring her. Because of that, she felt shitty. “Hi Jungwon, do you want an Aero mint?”

He smiled and sat down. “Of course. But you should stop eating so many of those, it’s unhealthy.”

Y/N handed him a chocolate and obseved his face, the one she hadn’t seen in so long. “Where have you been? I’ve missed you, and I’ve only had Jihan to lean on these days.”

“I’ve… missed you too my love.” Jungwon smiled and cupped her face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I’m sorry I ran away. I just didn’t want our time together to be spent mourning. With the way we live our lives, I wanted to protect that and only have us see the good in each other. That’s why I don’t show my bad parts to you, and why I ran away.”

Y/N wanted to laugh. What he was saying sounded ridiculous, and she could barely believe what she was hearing. He ignored her for three weeks because he only wanted her to see his good sides? The thought process didn’t quite make sense. Her mother died, and the one person closest to her didn’t make an effort to be there. It felt like bullshit.

“You think that’s going to make me feel better? I needed people by my side, and you weren’t there.” Y/N cried out. “In what world would I be okay with that?!”

“I thought it’s what you would’ve wanted!” Jungwon yelled. “The only reason we haven’t seen each other angry or upset is because we hide it from each other.”

Y/N thought about what he said and looked down at her hands. He was right, they hid many things from each other. When Jungwon lost his job, he didn’t see Y/N for 3 days. And when Y/N failed one of her classes, the same thing happened. It was something they never spoke to each other about, but assumed it was for the best.

But at what point did pretending to be happy all the time just turn into misery?

That’s when Y/N realized the most heartbreaking discovery of her teenage years.

“I understand. It’s how we chose to live, isn’t it? If we can’t protect our ideals, were they ever even strong to begin with?” Y/N answered. “I mean, we can’t keep them solid if we can’t uphold them, right?”

“But… what are the chances we’ve been living our lives incorrectly? Maybe the issue isn’t that we’ve been too lax with our thinking, maybe the issue is our thinking.”

Jungwon felt a feeling of sadness creeping up on him with her words. “You’re not happy, are you?”

Of course not. Y/N knew she could never be happy, not until she’s moved on. It was blatantly obvious at that point.

Her mom’s death and both Jungwon and her dad ghosting her made Y/N realize that couldn’t hide behind the thinly veiled screen of comfort that was her youth. She was about to turn 20. And as her youth begun to slip away, life’s failures had become more apparent. Choosing to stay ignorant of her fleeting youth was never a choice she made to stay happy. It was her running away from something inevitable, and Jungwon was a victim of that as well.

The two of them couldn’t have a healthy relationship if they were both too blissfully ignorant to face their realities. They only reinforced each other’s bad behaviors by actively staying together.

“No Jungwon, I’m not happy. I can’t be happy because my mom is… dead. And this is something I can’t pretend never happened. Not like the other times.” Y/N answered, as she gave Jungwon a sad smile.

“What do you mean?” He asked, slightly nervous for her response.

Jungwon didn’t want to break up with Y/N, she was the one thing he looked forward to each day. However, he’d be lying if he didn’t see it coming.

Y/N sighed. “If we’re always trying to live each day to its fullest and preserve our youths, how can we move on? My mom’s death made me realize that life can never be the way I want it to be, and I need to handle these situations head on and not run away just because I want to be happier.”

“But can’t we try to fix it?” Jungwon asked in a moment of slight desperation.

“I don’t think it’ll work out. I love you Jungwon, I really do, but we’re not good for each other. We’re too similar and we influence each other in bad ways. I think it’ll be better for us if we try to better ourselves individually.

And maybe one day, we’ll find a way back to each other.”

With tears spilling out, Jungwon hesitated for a second before giving Y/N a final hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be better for you, and I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to understand your feelings. I love you Y/N, and I always will.”

Underneath the glossy mist of first loves and fated encounters, there was a dark void that was waiting to suck them in at any given time. There was always always an undertone of wonderings such as ‘what’s next?’. It was time for them to wipe away that mist and stop being ignorant of their impending future.

And with that, Y/N’s first love was over. An Aero mint was left alone on the floor, untouched by its owner and unwanted by the one who gave it to him.

﹫ yyunari 🁢 1.29.23

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