#never wanted to feel better tbh. why do i get that luxury. why why why whyw hy why why why whyw hy why why why whyw hyw why why why

[urmomschocolatemilk]

Simon x reader

This is something I wrote a while ago, its honestly old and I might've posted it before tbh. It's not proof read at all so sorry if it doesn't make sense. I was lowk going through it during the time I wrote it to and it lowk sucks so yeah...enjoy!

Your hands are folded neatly in your lap, resting on top of your legs that are tucked under each other in a criss-cross position like you were taught to sit in elementary. Your back is straight, your posture unusually rigid and proper for someone sitting inside their own home. The lights are off and the streets outside your window are empty. Everything is dark, quiet, peaceful. You think you like the world better like this. 

You try to sink further back into the soft cushions of your couch, try to relax and let go of all the pent up stress and sadness manifesting itself in tense muscles. It’s no use though, almost like your body doesn’t think you deserve the smallest luxury of comfort.  

There’s a rolling in your chest as you stare out into the dark abyss. Your heart beats with hurt, the type that makes you want to reach into your rib cage and squeeze it until the pain is quelled. Where there was once sadness and sorrow is now filled with a gut churning emptiness. Your mind is quiet yet so loud all at the same time, your heart so heavy and so empty. The worst part of it all though is nothing feels real.  

Everything is so far but so close all at the same time. Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow, on soft cotton sheets, and the cold of your satin pillow case and this will all have been a dream. A reality that only existed in your mind.  

Your fingers burn as they brush against one another, your face sticky with dried tears. Your eyes and lips are slightly swollen and your face is puffy. You’ll need to ice it in the morning.  

The bedroom door creaks, and your head turns towards the sound.  

“Sweetheart?” A gravely voice calls to you. His accent is think, his voice deep and ravished with sleep. You’re still so lost in your thoughts that his voice sounds distant, like background noise at the back of your brain. Your brows furrow in worry and concentration as you try to focus in on it.  

“Simon? Did I wake you?” You ask. You’d tried to be as quiet as possible.  

He pauses to take in your figure for a moment, assessing the situation. Ever the soldier.  

“No.” His gruff voice finally responds. You had. But he figures it’s best not to tell you. There’s a pause of silence before he rubs his eyes and speaks again, “Come to bed.”  

“I’ll be there in a bit.”  

He shakes his head, pushing himself off the doorway and crossing the dark space in a few long strides. Before you can protest, his arms are wrapped around you, lifting you from your spot on the couch, he sits in your place, placing you on his lap.  

His presence is calming, the weight of his arms around you grounding, and the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your back soothing. It pulled you out of your own head.  

Simons has never been good with words; he’s always been better at taking action. The first time something like this happened he wasn’t sure what to do, wasn’t even sure if he was going to be able to help. But this silent, wordless comfort was what you needed. 

It was easier to focus on everything but voices in moments like these. Specifically touch. That always felt the realist. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, shifting under you to get more comfortable and tugging you down with him. The warmth of his body coaxed you to relax and when his fingers started to need at the newly formed knots in your back you obliged, melting into him.  

“Feel good?” He mumbles to you quietly. You hum a yes in response, slipping your eyes shut. A wave of drowsiness hits you.  

Your ear rests against his heart, you tune into the sound of soft thumping. Briefly you wonder why listening to the muscle that breathes life into someone is so soothing. The thought is fleeting though, as sleep is pulling you into its hold. Your tired mind aches for rest and you agree, letting yourself slip out of consciousness.  

[highwaywhump]

remember this piece?

unnamed guard dog is still unnamed.

TW/CW: pet whump, (former and current) dehumanization/animalization, distraught whumpee, whumpee idealizes death mentions of scars and injuries, long term whump situation, tbh not much is happening here but two old men are having a moment ig

---

The flames weren’t real. 

They were the first thing the guard dog saw when he was pulled from the abyss. Orange LED lights scattering through lenses and refractors, creating the illusion of a pile of embers that would never go out. 

And still, he noticed he wasn’t particularly cold. It wasn’t slick linoleum or cold metal against his skin, it was… fur?

He blinked and looked around, trying to get his eyes to refocus. He was on his side on a cream fur rug, facing a fake fireplace with neverending little fake flames dancing along the edges of fake logs. He turned over, biting his teeth together as his shoulders protested the movement. He was getting too old to be laying on floors, even if they were covered by plush fur rugs. 

Then again, that wasn’t up to him. 

What had even happened to land him here? It was a living room with high windows stretching up and up and up towards even higher ceilings. An luxurious-looking leather sofa, complete with a matching pair of chairs, made up the seating arrangement. There were bookshelves along the walls, a huge blue-hued painting of foggy hills on another. Everything looked needlessly expensive. 

Who had put him here? Why?

He tried to sit up, only to groan and rub his face with his palms as a sharp pain shot through his head. He hadn’t just been sleeping, he figured. He was always groggy after naps, but never like this. Somebody must have … given him … something- 

The guard dog lurched forwards, doubling over on himself and gagging violently as the memories flooded back to him, filling all his senses. The cold examination table, the clammy blue gloved hands, the bright light, the syringe… He would have thrown up, had he had anything to eat the last seven days. His pulse was racing, his hands were shaking as he grabbed onto the fur of the rug, trying to ground himself. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…

“Oh, good. You’re awake.”

The voice pierced through the blood rushing in his ears. 

“Thought I lost you there for a second. Again.” 

The voice was more familiar to him than the ache in his bones, the taste of blood in his mouth, the tight skin of his scars. 

He didn’t have to turn around and face the source of the voice to know who it belonged to. More importantly, he didn’t want to turn around. He didn’t want to believe it could be real. 

That he was back with him again. 

It took him several long, grueling seconds to find his voice. He realized he hadn’t used it for weeks, and when it finally came out of his mouth, it was gravelly and rough, nearly impossible to shape into words. For a moment there was only bare sound, akin to that of a wounded predator. 

Then, finally, did the words come. 

“I… I was supposed to feel better.” 

The voice of the man he did not want to face, scoffed, caught off guard. “What?” 

The guard dog keeled over, his scarred, wide hands digging into the rug as he yelled into its plush fur. 

“I was supposed to feel better!” 

“I fucking hope you do!” the voice snapped harshly, and a pair of fine leather shoes trod across the dark hardwood, into the guard dog’s line of sight. 

“You better feel fucking great! They were going to kill you!” 

“Yes!” the guard dog moaned, hiding his face in his hands. His shoulders shuddered, the scars there dancing. “That was the point.” His voice took on a sore quality, like he was straining to control it, to keep it together. He didn’t look like the mighty guard dog he once was, hunched over on the plush rug, stifling his sobs. 

“That was the point, so why didn’t you let them.” 

The other man was silent for a beat. The guard dog could, between his fingers and through the tears fogging up his eyes, catch a glimpse of the black Oxfords he wore, perfectly shined as always. 

Derbies are for doormen and loafers are for geriatrics. If you forget everything else, remember that, pup. 

The man sighed and went down on one knee, steadying himself with a hand on the floor. He wore the same ring he always had. The red garnet shone in the fake firelight, reminding the guard dog of all the times that hand had struck him, the ring often slicing the skin of his cheek. 

 “Don’t tell me I should have let them murder you. I don’t want to hear it.” His voice was resigned, but nevertheless cold, not leaving it up for discussion. Some years ago, that voice would have been enough for the guard dog to forget even the mere thought of disobedience. 

“Why did you bring me back here? Why-” The guard dog hunched in on himself, caught in a coughing fit brought on by the sudden and harsh use of his gravelly voice. He wouldn’t be surprised if he coughed up blood on the fine fur rug. 

The man, now behind his back, did not react to the sharp onslaught. He remained silent until the guard dog’s wide shoulders had stopped their rhythmic contractions. His voice was still unwavering. “I am only reclaiming what is mine.”

“Yours?” The guard dog barked out, then groaned as his sore lungs protested. “You sold me! You didn’t want me anymore. You sent me away to the first caller!” 

“I sold you only because I had no other choice. You do not understand these things. You never did.”

The man reached out as he said this, hand folded, and slid his knuckles down the column of the guard dog’s neck. 

His touch was like an electric shock, his warm and gentle hand such a contrast to the guard dog’s cold surroundings that he flinched like he had been hit, his spine jerking away on its own accord. The skin contact was enough to wrench another violent sob from his body. 

“And I let Louie take you only because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to see you go any further. It was better to do it quickly. It wouldn’t have been healthy for either of us to wait around for the right person.” 

“There was nothing healthy about him!” groaned the guard dog. “He put me in the fights! I made his fortune when I knocked out Bruiser! And six months later he sold me on again, and after that….” His voice broke. His anger seemed to have dissipated now, replaced by violent sobs that caused his whole body to heave and lurch in between his words. 

“Oh, pup. What did they do to you…” The man’s fingers ghosted across his spine, following one particularly nasty scar, too jagged to come from a blade. “I never should have let you go, should I.” 

“I wish you never got me back.” Despite the words, the guard dog’s voice was not resentful, only fatigued and spent. 

“Don’t you like me anymore? You used to love me.” 

He was quiet for a while. The man wondered idly if he had passed out, but did not check.  

“It wasn’t love,” came the rough voice eventually. “It wasn’t about that.” 

“Then what was it about?” 

“Loyalty.” The answer came before he could even think of it. Loyalty was the fundament for everything he was, everything he would ever be. Everything he had ever done. “I will always be loyal to you. No matter what you do to me.” He recalled the very last beating they had shared, the evening before his new owner had retrieved him and brought him to the fighting rings. 

It was quiet for a while.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I will always be loyal to you, too,” the man said eventually. 

He looked up, suddenly face to face with the man he had been made for, all those years ago. Now older, rougher, gray around the edges, but still the same brown eyes, framed by the same perpetually upturned eyelids. The guard dog’s own eyes were bloodshot, tear tracks creating shiny trails down his cheeks. They were only a few inches apart, the man having knelt down to his level. 

It wasn’t the first time they had been this close, but the guard dog watched him with fresh eyes this time. Nigh on two decades of life away from his master had forever changed the curious atmospheric aura they once used to share. 

“You’re right. I will never believe you again.” 

The familiar brown gaze studied him for a second, jumping down and back up, roaming the litany of scars and blemishes on his skin, several stretching into his hairline. His lips made a peculiar twitch before he suddenly sat back up and got to his feet, limber and flexible despite his age. 

“In any case, you’re getting a hosedown before dinner. You smell like shit.”

---

tags:

@maracujatangerine (were there more of you? lmk, also lmk if you don't want me to tag you)

[historia-vitae-magistras]

A lightee ask than usual but do you have any food or eating habit thoughts?

Ooohooohh, I did a whole ass seminar on the history of food. Failed it because I almost bled to death but I got to keep all the material! I've got.... a lot of thoughts and feelings about food culture. Too goddamn many, tbh. This got really long so I'll have to do a part two for other characters if wanted but lol enjoy.

Alfred:

 —Actually pretty gourmet little shit when he's got time and effort. He's made food Maria loves so often she has to give up on pretending she didn't enjoy it because fucking hell, he makes good chilaquiles after they've been drinking and fucking. There is, however, a non-zero chance he hasn't eaten a vegetable since the Nixon administration.

 —With that combustion engine metabolism, he's also perpetually hungry, so he eats whatever is around him. His guts do not like this, especially when it's a lot of dairy.

 —He has that kind of lactose intolerance that's tied to his health and stress, so if he's been particularly freaked out lately, he'll remind the world of his nuclear arsenal when he's got to use the toilet after that triple cheeseburger with a side of deep-fried cheese curds.

 —He's a stress eater too. He eats every negative emotion he's ever had especially when he's trying not to binge drink or do drugs.

 —He’s exceptionally food-motivated. They didn’t call one of his first major historical eras ‘the starving time’ without reason. He has preferences, but food is also food, and he’ll genuinely enjoy it in most forms as long as it's not rotten or otherwise godawful. Cowboy coffee and beans for ten days straight, and he will genuinely be the only man on that cow trail not sick of it by the end.

 —This also goes into why he’s so generous with food. He’s big on homemade food. He’ll make a whole big ass batch of like some sort of mac and cheese, and all the neighbours will get a big ol’ bowl of it with an ‘oh just return the Tupperware whenever,’ and it will genuinely be one of the best things they’ve ever eaten in their lives. Europeans recoil in horror, but our portion sizes are almost never single servings. It’s a generosity and hospitality practice except drinks. He really will down like a 2 liter of Slurpee in a single sitting.

 —He doesn’t mind eating alone. Actually prefers it sometimes. He loves eating in his car. American frontier culture, especially mountain men, had an often hyper-individualized, almost mythic culture of spending long periods alone in the woods and not being very sociable; thus a lot of situations where single servings were a thing, eating alone in quiet without something to do can be a real goddamn luxury.

 —He’s a really big protein guy with his metabolism. Sometimes exists on protein shakes but is more often a beef or barbeque or ham or alligator jerky. And a somewhat chunky Alfred is a healthy Alfred. A perfectly cut no flab Alfred is an Alfred who might be severely dehydrated and on several kinds of uppers.

 —He has better tastes than Arthur who didn't really realize food was supposed to taste good until like ten years ago but his combinations can be equally wild and unappetizing as they are batshit tasty.

—He loves spicy food. He's got so many opinions about hot sauces.

—He’s always hungry. If he isn’t hungry or turns down food, its genuinely a bad sign. If he turns down anything or just is just picking at it his food alarm bells should be sounding. He’s either about to declare war or puke all over the table or keel over dead. Peckish or food coma is his default state. Like if he was a smaller guy someone would say he’s got a binge disorder but he’s tall and beefy so he’s pretty okay.

 —Incredibly adventurous eater too. People will assume since there’s that old school culture of Anglo-American who eats the same 7 meals every week and might keel over dead if the meatloaf is slightly different he’ll be a bit hard to please but then he’s absolutely charmed by everything from Korean kimchi to Lithuanian Lašiniai.

 —He loves anyone who feeds him, just got to be a bit careful because he’s got surprisingly delicate stomach for the world superpower.

 —That American obsession with authencity means he’s surprisingly good at remembering people’s food culture or eating norms. He figured out chopsticks in ten seconds and quickly picked up the cues and manners of eating in any given culture. Still struggles with modulating his voice and personality, so he can often come across as rude, but he's so excited to do so. It's almost frustrating how happy he is to try and adapt to people around him and how happy he can be to fit in.

Matt:

 —He's a very good cook when he's putting in effort for other people, but he's not really like Alfred, who he'll make a whole ass meal for one just to relax on a Sunday.

 —He does tend to eat more vegetables than Alfred, but only because his northern vitamin deficiency has him binging them when he can afford them or they're available during the summer.

  —He can be weirdly picky on his own, but no one ever really needs to ask about his favourite food or how he likes anything because he always just goes with the flow around other people. “Just get me whatever you’re getting.” comes out of his mouth often.

 —There's a lot of sour cream/crema and yoghurt/coconut milk involved when he eats Mexican or Indian food for as much as he loves it.

 —Katya was singlehandedly responsible for his ability to maintain a normal weight during the 20th century by adding rye bread and perogies/vyrenki to his diet. He craves mushroom-umami flavours when he misses her, which is most of the time.

 —When he’s normal and eating the Anglo-North American diet, but he isn’t always eating it, he gets some strong sugar cravings, especially when he’s west of Manitoba. He’s as fond of birch syrup as a flavour as he is maple; there’s just less production. But the kind of deprivation he got and his own tendencies to not eat sometimes cause white sugar to just straight-up burns.

 —There's very much something of François to Matt's dietary habits, but less in his personal tastes and more in that he might be more sensitive to flavours. He has that kind of discerning and slightly oversensitive palate, but he’s a shitty perpetually broke frontier settler colony. He knows better/feels too guilty/is too embarrassed of himself to really indulge it.

 —He kept too much of his peasant communalism in his eating habits. Where Anglo-American communities did have a lot of cooperation, communal eating was a special occasion. The norm was based on the individual household. In contrast, French Canadian habitants still technically lived on medieval land plots and owed labour to a lord while also having a culture of seasonal male work, so Matt grew up used to communal ovens and eating most of his meals around others. Later, in Arthur’s jurisdiction, it was usually the same. He got a plate of whatever he was given, and it wasn’t something he had ever had to initiate himself.

 —Partially, he's sometimes exceptionally bad at eating when he has to choose to do it himself. Especially since the Americanization of the food culture took hold in the '80s and '90s. Whereas Alfred is food motivated from going without when he was little, Matt learned how to block out physical sensation until he collapsed because it was rare that someone, including himself, cared about what kind of state he was in. He just doesn’t eat at all when he’s stressed or anxious. And now it's his sole responsibility to do so as there aren’t the same community structures. He has a lot of Alfred’s abundance now, all the brunch and BBQ places anyone could ask for, but it hasn’t meshed with his eating habits. His people gave up so much of their communal eating in exchange for various choices and then wondered why they were so lonely. So he’ll just microwave a potato or a packet of Kraft dinner a day for a week straight and wonder why he feels dead because, technically, he did eat something. It’s seriously a miracle he got as tall as he did.

 —Feed him nothing but hardtack for three years, and he won't complain until he's dropped dead of scurvy. If Arthur puts some sort of godforsaken mixture of plum sauce or gin-infused spag bol in front of him, he’ll compliment it before he disassociates to get at least some of it down.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

180 for zombies! The chapter may end sooner than that tbh. We shall see:

---

Nothing happens for another day. Everyone needs time to rest. Maddie spends a good amount of it sleeping and eating and enjoying such luxuries as a shower. Eddie keeps to himself mostly. He spends time with his son, reading books and watching movies on the old DVD player they showed him how to use. Down time they haven’t got to have in a while, Buck imagines. Athena stays vigil at her daughter’s bedside. It takes another night before anyone makes any kind of headway. 

It’s Eddie who shakes things up. 

He does it in the early afternoon, when Buck is showing Maddie his fishing net set up on the beach. 

“I did all the research and I built them myself,” he tells her proudly. “I maintain them. I’m the protein guy!” 

“This is actually really impressive,” Maddie admits, looking out at what he’s done. “I knew you’d find a way to use that big brain of yours for good one day.”

He shrugs. “Bet you didn’t think it’d be for sourcing food in an apocalypse.”

Maddie emits a small huff of laughter. “You’ve got me there.”

Maddie is dipping her toes into the Pacific, looking more relaxed than he thinks he ever saw her in Hershey as an adult. Buck is happy to see her look at ease, after all he’s been through. He feels like he’s looking at a happy memory she never actually got to make. He only turns away because he hears someone walking down the wooden stairs from the road to the beach. 

He turns to see Eddie making his way towards them, looking somewhat sheepish. Like he knows he’s interrupting a nice moment. 

He looks pretty in the warm sunlight. 

Wait.

What?

Why did Buck think that? 

He looks fine. Better than average, even. That’s all.

“Eddie!” Buck calls out, simply to shut up his internal monologue. “What’s up, man?”

Maddie turns to look at him.

“Oh! Hi, Eddie!”

“Hey,” Eddie says, crossing the sand to get them. “Got a minute to talk?”

Oh. So here it comes then. He’s going to ask Maddie. 

“You need me to go?” Buck asks. 

“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “Actually, I want to talk to both of you. If that’s okay.” 

“Oh,” Buck mumbles.

“Sure,” Maddie says. 

Buck doesn’t know what he has to do with it, but his curiosity is piqued. 

Eddie takes a deep breath. “I have to go. I can’t stay here much longer.”

“Looking for your wife?” Maddie guesses.

He nods. “I think I’ll hit the road tomorrow morning.”

“I understand,” Maddie says. “You have questions you need answered.”

“Right,” Eddie agrees. “Uh… But I’m going into the city. Los Angeles. And I don’t think it’s safe to bring my son.”

“Oh,” Maddie says. She must realize where this is going.

“I know we don’t know each other very well,” Eddie leads in. “But, Maddie, Christopher trusts you. He likes you. The two of you are, uh, obviously good people. I was hoping… Maybe you’d take care of him for me, until I get back?”

Maddie sucks in a sharp breath. Buck tries not to react at all. Eddie knows he knows already, knows what he thinks about it. 

“Wow,” she says. 

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” Eddie adds quickly. “Unfair of me, really. But I don’t know what else to do, Maddie. I can’t risk him.”

“Eddie, of course,” Maddie says. “I’m not going to ask you to risk him. If it’s allowed, here, of course I’ll do it.”

Eddie sighs, relieved. “Thank you, Maddie. Thank you so much.”

“I can’t imagine anyone will turn Christopher away,” Buck says, thinking of their conversation yesterday. “We’re not like that.”

Eddie nods. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Eddie,” Maddie says. “I’ll do what I can for him. And Los Angeles isn’t that far away. You’ll be back before too long, I’m sure.”

“That’s the plan,” Eddie agrees. “But…”

“But what?” Maddie asks. 

“I have to be realistic,” Eddie says. “Plan for the worst.”

“That you don’t find her?” Maddie guesses. 

“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “That I die.”

Buck feels nauseous all of a sudden. 

“Eddie…” Maddie trails off.

“Listen, obviously I’ll do everything I can…”

“I know,” Maddie mutters. “We both know what it’s like out there.”

Buck realizes he doesn’t. Not completely. He’s always been mostly safe. 

Eddie looks at Buck. “That’s where I need a favor.”

“Uh, from me?” Buck asks. 

Eddie nods. “You’re the guy with the radio, right?”

“I was,” Buck mumbles. 

“Are you able to switch your transmission?” Eddie asks. “If I die, if I don’t come back after a certain amount of time, maybe you could try to get a message to my sisters. His aunts.”

Buck makes an uncomfortable sound in his throat.

“Uh, the radio was confiscated. It… Well, it wasn’t allowed, per say. Advertising our position and all.”

“Oh,” Eddie deflates a little. 

“Yeah, I don’t have it anymore.” Buck admits. “And it’s only good for five hundred miles. You’re from Texas, right?”

Eddie nods. “My sisters went northeast. It wouldn’t reach them.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck says. 

Eddie looks a little crestfallen, but as though he’s trying to hide it. Buck feels a wave of guilt. Which is ridiculous. None of this is his fault. But… But he still doesn’t want this guy to die. He doesn’t want him to die and have no one know about it. He seems like a good man. A good father. Plus, he saved Maddie. Maddie might not think that means Buck owes him his life, but he’s wrong. Maddie raised him in all the ways that mattered. She gave him his freedom. She’s the reason he’s here, alive, when so many others are dead. And she’s his favorite person in the world. Buck does owe Eddie for saving her. 

“I’ll do you one better,” Buck says.

“Like what?” Eddie asks. 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“What?” Maddie and Eddie respond in unison. Though, Maddie’s is more of a yelp. 

“I’m a good shot. Healthy and fit. A good driver. I was a first responder, I can handle pressure.” Buck explains. “I can have your back out there. Maybe be the difference between needing to send that radio transmission or not.”

“You just got your sister back, man.” Eddie reminds him.

“And like you both said, Los Angeles isn’t very far away,” he replies. He looks at Maddie. “You’ll make sure Christopher is safe here, and I’ll help Eddie find his wife.”

“Evan…” Maddie winces. “I don’t know.”

[flandrepudding]

doll collection post

Hi guyz!! so somebody asked me to post my doll collection a while back and I put it off because i'm trying to rearrange my setup but its taking much longer than expected due to irl stuff.

But I dont wanna wait anymore! Feel free to just scroll through the pictures, you don't have to read the commentary if you don't want to. In fact you don't have to scroll through any of this at all. I wrote a lot because I am severely neurodivergent. Having a genuine blogging moment rn.

I have been waiting forever for an excuse to post my collection!! I was so happy someone suggested I do so.

I don't have a lot of room for everybody! Everyone is scattered around my room, but I try my best to display them nicely...

My G1 collection is moderately sized, these dolls are expensive and difficult to find. There are so many more I want, like Dead Tired Lagoona or Sweet 1600 Draculaura to go with my Sweet 1600 Clawdeen...sigh. But it just keeps getting harder! I am actually content with stopping my G1 collecting hunt for now and instead focusing on G3... Many of these dolls are from my dear friends, especially Leo and Raven (hi guyz!). Without my friends, I would only have three of these dolls... I am so lucky to be so loved!!!

I don't have many bratz that are in good enough shape to be on display. I really grew up on bratz rather than monster high... but again...these dolls get expensive! Roxxi was always a favorite of mine and a crush! Growing up, I was the type of kid who almost exclusively wanted one brat though. Yasmin. Not Cloe, Jade, or Sasha. I was devoted to collecting Yasmin because she looked similar to me. In retrospect, I really wish I had gotten more of the other girls...I do have some...though their numbers pale in comparison to the Yasmin army.

The ball-jointed doll is my most expensive doll and my largest doll (she is fucking ginormous). Even when buying her at half the original price (great deal from a great friend) she was hardly affordable.

I bought her because I plan on customizing her to be Flandre Scarlet, my ultimate comfort character! I've always dreamed of having a doll of Flan. SO why not make one myself? I've had her for months but am still too scared to cut that beautiful hair off...I'm no good at cutting wigs/hair in general. I did install her red eyes myself which I've never done before as this is my first and probably last bjd! She is gorgeous but I would consider these dolls luxury items... VERY EXPENSIVE.

(idk why the exposure is so high on these, sorry!! >_<;)

I am so happy to have the coffin bean playset!! I think it was a really good idea to get it. but I am so sad because I have hardly any room for it! So It's sitting on my dresser in front of a giant mirror so please excuse the poor editing I did to obscure the reflection of me and my living space lol...

I gave my Twyla low pigtails, though they aren't very visible, and my Clawdeen braids! I think Clawdeen looks super cute this way tbh I tried curling her hair again and again and again but the curls always fell out (I dont have much experience)...but honestly... I think I like this look even better ^_^. You can see her ears so well this way.

This Clawdeen is basically my holy grail and it was gifted to me by Leo, Leo if you're reading this I hope you know you are basically Jesus.

not to get deep but the OMG doll next to her is special to me because it is one of the last gifts I got from my late Grandpa. He took me to target and when I said I liked the doll, no questions asked, he bought her for me. Didn't give me shit for liking dolls at my big age. He simply got her for me because she made me happy, and he wants me to be happy. Dolls can mean so much. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved!!! >:D

I have this gorgeous Draculaura just chilling next to my jewelry cuz I have nowhere else to put her and honestly she is gorgeous and should stand alone.

Here I have the pride Bratz next to my bed!!! They mean so much to me, as I said earlier I had a crush on Roxxi. To see she's a canon lesbian now is so incredible!! And Nevra, her girlfriend, is beautiful! They are so cute together... they are never leaving that box though. This was actually the first doll/set of dolls where I fully understood why people are content leaving dolls in their boxes. I love to play with my dolls so much... but I could never play with these two!! If anything happened to them I would lose my mind.

Now... you're probably thinking......where the hell is Lagoona?!?! Do you not have one despite loving her this much? Of course I have a Lagoona. I AM GROWING AN ARMY!!!!!!

I really, really love Lagoona...I want to get every Lagoona doll I possibly can. Isn't she so cute! I relate to her character in the cartoon a lot too... her life at home, her difficulties speaking up when she is sad or angry, her sporty personality, etc etc... She has quickly claimed her spot as biggest comfort character #2. I included many pictures because I simply cannot pick one, she is flawless. You might recognize the Lagoona on the left, I drew her in that exact pose recently!!

I have her army on my desk, giving me the strength I need to get through my work... like Homer Simpson with his pictures of baby Maggie at his work. I get endless inspiration and motivation from Lagoona!!!

And here is the Flandre shrine bonus... I adore her!! I also have finally ordered a fumo flan that should arrive in august around my birthday eeek!!!

Anyways that is my collection. It's been many years in the making, though it's almost doubled since monster high G3 released... Mattel truly has me by the balls right now. If you read any of this, thank you. I put a lot of time into making this post, and it was really fun. I feel like a real blogger right now.

I really really enjoy dolls and talking about them. So I will happily do so anytime I get the chance!!! Will probably do an update once I finally install some more shelves and move stuff around <3

[allwormdiet]

Arc 4: Shell, Concluding Thoughts

Another fucking roller coaster of an arc, let's get to it

Let's see, where to even begin

I like that Taylor's gotten a lot more confident about school. Even if she figures that Emma will inflict some kind of retribution, the fact that she's willing to take that risk for the sake of getting to laugh in her fucking face makes me glad. John Dillinger school of therapy is a fucking go.

I continue to absolutely adore the Undersiders, it's really fun to see them get to interact with each other in a more normal context, walking around the market and shopping and talking about whatever. I could read nothing but Undersiders slice-of-life for like a month straight and never get sick of it

The conversations about triggers and powers and stuff were also interesting tbh, a healthy dose of exposition and fleshing out the way the world works

Alec has grown on me a lot with this arc, between his clear anger at the shit that Taylor's had to put up with and his critical part in the fight against Bakuda

Which. You know what let's go there actually. Bakuda is so fucking terrifying as an antagonist that I kinda hope Lung pulls her back just so she can be less of a goddamn menace. The combination of ruthless forethought and sadistic unpredictability makes for a combination that rapidly outpaced Lung and the Wards as far as "oh shit this is for real," at some point I completely forgot about the Bomberman costume and - oh I wonder if that's why people don't talk about the Bomberman costume that much, the whole thing just accelerates so far past where that can still be talked about without losing focus

It was kinda sweet seeing Brian and Lisa help Taylor out in the aftermath of the fight, getting her home and helping her feel better (and lying to her dad for her). It'd be nice if Taylor decided that this could mean her cape and civilian lives could be more connected but I kind of doubt that's the case, unfortunately

Dog interlude might be best interlude, because Dog, and also Rachel proving that she rules

I kinda wanna get into a long ramble about all of my current character takes and opinions but I kinda want to get further into the story, see if there's a natural point where I can take a break and make that a separate post. If there isn't a natural one maybe I just do it every, I dunno, six arcs. Chunk it into fifths.

...And once again I'm at the end of a post wondering what the fuck is coming next. Presumably duking it out with the ABB, right? I'd like for that to not be the case but I continue to doubt that Taylor will ever have the luxury of being uninvolved in anything ever again. Poor girl.

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

I wish that autism wasn't so heavily looked down upon/ignored/disrespected when I was growing up.

I was a "devil child", "handful", "problem".

When in reality if even minute changes were made in my environment and how my own family interacted with me, I would have flourished so much more.

I heavily stimmed using music. The repetitive beats and heavy bass was my thing. So when my mom wanted to punish me for something, one of the first things she'd do was take away my ipod/mp3 whatever I had. WORST thing was when she ONLY took my (very specific) headphones.

To her, it was taking away something fun. A luxury item. A toy basically.

But to me, it was taking away a very heavily ingrained stim that I NEEDED to do, and could not do without very specific criteria (specific headphones and a specific playlist/style of music)

So of course I would become horribly disregulated. Which I'd then have to attempt to mask/or recluse to avoid her so she wouldn't see how bad it unraveled me.

Because to her, being disregulated/unraveled was "acting up", "catching an attitude", "being disrespectful/rude".

Gods. Looking back I truly hate how she did me wrong in that way. Not just my stim but EVERYTHING. All my needs were either dismissed or half-met.

She is one of those people who thinks sure adhd/autism exists but not in HER family. Not in HER children. She even tried to blame it on the father of her children and it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with her.

..... we not only ALL have different fathers, but after observing both memories of her and her now, she is ALSO autistic and in total denial.

I definitely still harbor resentment because of that. She had me "evaluated". Once. At a time where they still heavily leaned on the male criteria for adhd, and autism wasnt really addressed/acknowledged unless it was severely debilitating. But also, by the time she had me evaluated, I'd already spent a few years (unknowingly) masking due to peers and family creating that need. So the conclusion was "there MIGHT be something divergent about her but we couldnt say for sure at this time" and she took that as "nope she's good, just a problem child. Carryon." Never again to be addressed.

She barely acknowledged that one of my brothers (previously a sister) was diagnosed adhd.

She only acknowledged another brother's adhd&autism diagnosis because the school he went to was very accommodating and insisted that he be evaluated and guess what.

Once he was diagnosed, and they rearranged his class schedules to fit his needs, he did a 180 and graduated top of his class. THRIVED. I both LOVE that he got that and HATE that I never did. I barely got through school.

It wasn't for lack of love of learning. I just, learned different, but was ALSO heavily overloaded with how crammed my courses were. I always wonder if I'd gotten the same accommodations, would I have thrived? Would school have been a drastically different/positive experience/memory for me? I'll never know. Because my mother was so against the idea that anything was divergent about me and absolutely mentally stuffed me into her little idea of an ideal neurotypical child that I never had a chance...

Now that I know I'm also AuDHD, like most of my siblings and even an aunt, I feel validated. I had seen vlogs and blogs about people more and more coming out about how they handle life and their coping skills and hacks theyve learned and after starting to apply those to myself... gods I've improved so much.

Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. But now knowing what issues are and how to cope and get around things, I'm a lot better off.

This is only ONE reason of several why my relationship with my mother has gone sour. What's sad is she doesn't really realize it yet? I havent been able to compose myself enough to have THE CHAT.

About how she hurt me a lot. Intentional or not. (Like not knowing taking away my music was taking away a stim) I don't know how to have this chat. Tbh I thought about writing a longass letter. Because in the past whenever she's been confronted about anything she's done wrong, she spirals into defense mode and wont even entertain the conversation beyond that point and you get... nowhere.

So maybe in person the bulk of the talk wont happen. I feel like. I need to hand her a letter. Have her read it. And maybe have a succinct chat before parting ways.

Because I wanted to be close to her for so long, that I either didn't realize or knowingly ignored her problem behaviors and looking back... she just... gods that's a whole other post for the future....

If you've read this far thank you. If you've had similar familial experiences, lmk (if you're comfy)

I just....... *sigh*.... yep.

[xserpx]

For 50 character asks: Karrin Murphy, #1, 2, 14, 15, 22, 27

1. Canon I outright reject - I mean, her fucking dying that shitty death, of course. But more than that, tbh, any allusions to valkyrieism. I get that valkyries are cool and all, but Murph was established as a Catholic, and IMO her story is way more angelic/Knight of the Cross-esque than Norse-related. It also feels too much like Jim got tired of his old toys and wants to play with his cool new Odin action figure, plus I don't like the way he's gotten rid of every vanilla mortal. I understand power creep means things need to change, but as much as the stakes go up in terms of damage, I think emotionally they fall flat as we lose the sense of Harry standing up for the little guy.

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on - Murph deserves that sword way more than Butters. Granted this might be more of a Butters headcanon than a Murph one, but I just think she did nothing wrong in trying to use Fidelacchius the way she did. Butters showed no faith in Harry the entire book, he misused Bob, he was the one who caused the problems in the first place. And just because Karrin loves too much and is emotional, she's the one who looks like an idiot afterwards? No way. Never. Butters is a scourge.

14. Most heroic moment - There are so many to choose from, both the big ones and the quiet moments. The obvious one is in Changes, when she swoops in like a guardian angel and becomes the MVP of the fight. It's a highlight of a book filled with highlights. I also love chainsaw Murph in Summer Knight. Be proud, Murph. You deserve it.

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done - Easily the part in Fool Moon where Karrin goes full cop and assaulted Harry just because she was annoyed he withheld information. I do believe that's the only thing she'd ever done wrong, though.

22. Best physical feature - her height! Not only do I relate to being a short queen, but also the fact that almost every other person in the series is an actual giant, Murphy's petit size makes her extra special.

27. Their guilty pleasure - Kincaid :P. No, but seriously, Murph getting to live her bad boy with a heart of gold fantasy, go on luxury holidays, get chocolate and weapons sometimes as the same gift, and generally live her best life while she's with him is part of why I love both of them so much. She deserves everything, and Kincaid gives it to her. He made her a better fighter, gave her skills and knowledge and equipment to help people with no strings. Obviously the fact he went on to assassinate Dresden made the fallout so much worse for her, but for those years when his targets weren't the people closest to her, it was fun as hell.

[the-romantic-lady]

I don't really like that they want to focus on the causes they are passionate about, it's way too activist for me. It's like the vegan people who go to grocery stores and dump milk on the floor. Or the stop oil lunatics who block the road and people can't get to hospitals. The energy is exactly the same "the cause I am passionate is important everything else doesn't matter".

TBH the causes they are passionate about are very elitist causes. Yes yearly years is important but there's very little some parents can do. People are living in a col crisis, both parents have to work sometimes more than they wish, and have their children in childcare for more time of the day than they wish. They can't spend as many time with their kids as they would like, they have work, sometimes commute, they have housework. Sometimes it's just not feasible even if they wanted to. Then in comes someone who is the privileged of the privileged. Who has 3 homes, none of which she paid for. Who has house staff, a full time nanny and barely works, to lecture people about how much the early years of your kid is important and how you should focus so much energy and time that you just don't have on that. Without actually offering any practical solution might I add.

Then we have the mental health one. Yes mental health is important, but how talking about how important it is help anyone? Like so many people that I know would like to go to therapy but can't afford it. Or if they live in a country that does have a public healthcare it's incredibly hard to get a therapist because the line of people already wanting is too big, there's never enough professionals to meet the demands. People could not heat their homes this winter, the food is more expensive by the day, the cost of property is going up so much that people can't afford to have housing. For anyone this is horrible for mental health, working yourself to the bone and you still can't have your basic needs met, and if you can there's not much left for anything else. You feel like you get stuck and nothing you ever do is going to help. What are they doing to help people have a better life so their mental health improves? Yep, nothing.

Then we have the climate change thing. Yes Earthshot is an amazing idea, I loved how it focused on getting solutions to the problems. But like the first step to help the issue is REDUCE. And I'm not one to say people shouldn't fly, but there are things that are just unnecessary. The Queen went to Sandringham by train, but William is always going by helicopter. If it was safe and good enough for the Queen, why isn't for him as well? It's very hard to take anything he says about how important is for us to care about climate change, when he can't even give up one of his luxuries that serves no purpose. This is not a trip to a vacation once in a while, or a work trip that is necessary.

What it bugs me the most is that even if Earthshot does provide solution for the problem it focuses on, their initiatives in general do absolutely nothing concrete to help anyone in the UK. It's not like the Edinburgh Awards or The Prince's Trust that actually offer things to the community. They help young people, small businesses, what do W&K foundation do besides help themselves learn and talk about things?

On top of that, they feel like they are too good for the boring engagements, it's not enough impact to their taste. Like bitch what impact your lectures have? If it helped anyone you would have stopped talking about mental health, it's been years and you are in the exact same place.

Cutting a ribbon is not below them. And they should do it. This should be their main job. The UK is not paying their security bill so they can follow their passion, it's for them to serve them, they are glorified public servants they should serve the community not just worry about their own interests. How many activists receive public funded security just to follow their passion? Yeah no one, because that's not what the job is about.

I don't agree with this completely. I do think they need to stop thinking of themselves as activists but the public complaining is part of the problem. Their pre-2017 engagements were considered blank and not big projects. So they went this direction which I am not a fan of.

I do see the importance of their causes though. Early Years is important in a time when children will be raised by daycares and technology. Part of her earlier work has been to spend time with them, take them to nature, and socializing with other parents. The unfortunate truth is that many parents don't value this anymore. It's not about how many homes, nannies or money you have. My parents were pretty much always poor and that didn't stop my mother from giving her all to us sisters. It's because she understood the importance of raising children, giving them time and attention among other things. On the other hand, I have family that have children whose children go from school to daycare to a day home. Society is disregarding the family and the upbringing of children and we can't look away. Early years emphasizes this once more to slow down for children and I stand behind the message.

I am less interested in climate change and all but I think the solutions and award system is good. Although you do have a point with the lack of focus on Britain. But William is supposedly launching a homelessness initiative so I hope that is promising and a cause I care more about.

There needs to be a balance. There is nothing wrong with Catherine visiting schools and nurseries but then she should work more to do other things. They need to expand but their current projects are not bad imo.

[plantfeed]

welcome to marina, NATALYA FYODOROVA ( cis woman, she / her ) ! they are a FORTY NINE year old who has lived on the island for SIXTEEN YEARS. word on the street is they’re currently living in MARINA HEIGHTS and works as an ESTATE AGENT. everyone also says they look a lot like RACHEL WEISZ. what do you think? — NORA, 27, she/her, GMT. pinterest. blog tag.

ok i started writing stuff specifically for marina and then opened up her old bio to copy some stuff and didn't realise how much i had so apologies for the Longest Intro You Have Ever Seen !!!!

i was gonna leave most of this in google docs but tbh it might be relevant for connections so CTRL + F if u need to find something or ask bcos its a fucking manuscript

THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FULL ORIGINAL THING - THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A SUMMARY - ITS ACTUALLY FUCKED HOW LONG HER ORIGINAL ONE WAS. if you love to read and want to hear more about her there are even more bullet points about her childhood and growing up here. im struggling to get my head around it tbh.

summary of natalya.

tw: violence, addiction, overdose

TLDR: russian military brat and ballet prodigy, moved to moscow at 17 to work for the bolshoi ballet.  at the tender age of 23 she married her sugar daddy rostislav ‘rocco’ fyodorov (an art dealer from saint petersburg, but also a document forger & money launderer with ties to the mafia). he was the great love of her life. they got divorced and remarried and divorced again. after her second divorce from rocco she married and divorced a film critic with pretty serious addiction issues. most of the nineties were a blur spent at drug-fuelled orgies in moscow. at 26 she gets remarried to rocco. she misses the tempestuous up and down of their relationship, she misses being owned by someone. they fight like criminals and fuck like animals. at 27 she gives birth to will, and two years later, she gives birth to maura. 

after the birth of her two kids they reinvent themselves & move to the states for a fresh start without crime. rocco starts working as a junior art dealer for a gallery in north carolina. he stops going by ‘rocco’ and instead by ‘rusty’, a non-threatening, cuddly moniker for rostislav. he plays the part well, forges himself a few letters of recommendation to go with his fake diplomas and is eventually promoted to gallery curator ($$$$). for several years milf rachel was a stay at home mom, which suited her perfectly. rocco uses the advance on his salary and builds them the dream house. things are good. but despite moving, and changing their lives for the better, trouble follows them. a former colleague turns up with the age old adage - one last job. rocco turns him down. several months later, they send another messenger. it turns out rocco owes a lot of people a lot of money. rather than run from it, he pays them off. the salary he’s worked so hard for starts to dwindle, but he wants out of it. money’s easier than bloodshed. soon, there’s talk of downsizing. natalya refuses to leave the house he built for her - the house she deserves. so she lowers herself to getting a job. for several years she was an uber driver, picture her turning up in a black convertible blasting bach. after working as an uber driver for several years she got a job in real estate, first as a lettings administrative assistant, then a lettings negotiator, eventually moving on to be an estate agent of luxury properties. after a few years in real estate, footing the bills while rocco bats off the debt collectors, she starts to think that she can do this breadwinning thing on her own. 

it’s been several years now since the first of the mafia’s debt collectors arrived with the offer of a job. they should be in the clear by now. there’s no logical way to explain why rocco would owe so much - feels like it’s simply to punish him for turning down a job. despite the money that continues to leave their shared account, the trouble never stops. the debts never disappear. give an inch and they’ll take a mile. it’s been over a decade since they left the criminal world entirely, and yet it continues to follow them. it’s not just rocco and natalya’s lives on the line any more - they’ve got kids, kids she’ll do anything to protect (including have her husband killed, if needed). but she’s clever enough to know that a crime of passion will never cut it in a court of law. she encourages rocco to take out a life insurance policy, to protect her and the kids if anything happens. there’s been a lot of unsightly figures hanging around his gallery as of late - he’s noticed it too. she knows that in the case of a murder, a life insurance policy is usually only valid if it was issued more than two years ago. two years and a day later, rocco is found dead in his study - letter opener to the throat. first ruled a suicide, then later ruled not a suicide due to conflicting evidence, then later ruled inconclusive.

the next year, natalya is the picture of the grieving widow. on the outside, she never leaves the house without being top-to-toe in black. on the inside, she’s unspeakably, sickeningly happy. the gardener, pablo, who she’s been seeing in secret for years becomes a permanent fixture of the home. the kids are shipped off to boarding school, courtesy of rocco’s life insurance and a generous donation from the gallery to support their education (it’s what ‘rusty’ would have wanted). trouble doesn’t come again for years, until natalya returns home one day to find her daughter maura in the garden with one of rocco’s former colleagues. he tells her they’re sorry to hear about rocco, and that if there’s anything they can do to help, to let them know - they’ll be keeping an eye on her. she’s never been a religious person, but there’s something about the way that he says it that puts the fear of god in her soul.

two months later, she sold the house rocco built for her, took her two kids and moved to marina heights. they were nouveau riche here, a fresh start, no dirty washing on the laundry line, no mistrusting neighbours who’d heard one too many explosive fights or witnessed shady characters at their doors,  none of the years of scrimping and saving to afford their property. by this point, natalya is well established in the world of luxury real estate. i’ve never seen selling sunset but probs somethin like that. she chose marina to move to because they already had some family ties there (the romanovs)

tw death traumacore drowning drugs. 

natalya’s the younger sister of vaughn romanov. it feels good to be back with family - not only is she off the map, but if every one of rocco’s former colleagues tracks her down again, she now has the added security of vince’s team to look out for her and the kids. she feels safer here. will doesn’t like it, but will never likes anything. he’s always been the stranger of her two kids. she doesn’t have the same affection with him as she does with maura.

maura grows closer to rowan. she’s a teenager now, and hanging out with her mom all the time is no longer cool. they grow apart. if she wants a piercing, it’s rowan who takes her. if she wants to drink wine and watch real housewives, it’s rowan she’s doing it with. in maura’s absence, natalya tries harder with will. for the first time, she knows things about his passions and interests. they drink wine have julia roberts thursdays. 

a few years after moving to marina, maura is found face down in the pool after a house party to celebrate the end of exams. she’d just been accepted to stanford. they find drugs in her autopsy report. at first, natalya blames rowan. later, she begins to love rowan like a daughter in maura’s place. it’s a weird relationship. will finds the whole thing fucked up, blames his mother for maura’s death, for never enforcing enough discipline on them, and gets a place of his own in tower hill, leaving natalya alone. she’s constantly begging him to come back, but a house that large only ever feels cold and empty to will. he blames natalya for maura’s death because in the years leading up to her death, she wasn’t as close to maura as she was to will. 

natalya envied her youth and beauty. she envied her closeness with rowan and adrienne - her sister-in-law, and perhaps the mother maura wishes she had. she spent maura’s teenage years with a bottle in her hand maxing out credit cards on expensive lingerie which meant maura acted out. their whole family has had drug issues. maura was 18 when she died, and despite their relationship being pretty all over the place, natalya’s kind of made her a martyr. her room remains exactly how she left it, walls lined with posters of teenage heartthrobs, dirty underwear still under the bed. no one can ever say a bad word about her or they will face the full force of natalya’s wrath. she drinks iced coffee like it’s going out of style. she’s full of grief and spite and materialism and cocaine. 

she looooooves to harp on about how she never went to college and how everything she got she earned herself through hard work and tenacity, but it also came from several void pre-nups to wealthy (if somewhat sketchy) characters. this woman is also such a white collar criminal like she knows the legal loopholes and she works them. she’d have so many offshore bank accounts. she evades taxes. will she ever suffer the consequences? idk.

history / backstory.

tw: violence, addiction, overdose, murder,,

— natalya was born in volgograd / bолгогра́д, and  grew up in a russian military family who moved around a lot. developed an attachment disorder because of it. she’s very closed off, doesn’t trust easily, can come across as very haughty and hostile, but on the flipside when someone has earned her trust she’d go to fucking war for them.

— moving to schools a lot meant she hardly ever made friends who weren’t kids on the base. her friends were books and her ballet shoes. there wasn’t time for loneliness with the amount of characters she had living inside of her head. she had a close friend at one of the schools she went to when she was 10 - 12, called aleksei, and (possibly because she didn’t have too many other friends) the strength of their friendship was insane. he was also an incredibly smart kid but pretty much her opposite, quiet in all the ways she was loud, reserved in all the ways she was impulsive. the two of them spent most of the school days outcasts, but people left them to their own devices. 

— one day, aleksei came into school with train track braces, and a girl in their maths class named anya compared him to the characters jaws from james bond. natalya retaliated by stabbing them in the hand with a compass and she was subsequently transferred to the school on the military base soon after.  despite being a pretty violent and strong-minded child, she’d never had too much trouble with authority figures and her family assumed she would also end up in the military. she had the right personality to be a deputy or a general and showed promise from a young age in terms of agility, tenacity and discipline BUT she only ever viewed her training at the military school as a means to an end. she wanted to graduate school and move to moscow to audition for the bolshoi ballet.

— she started dancing when she was maybe five or six years old. she was one of those kids who always knew what she wanted and never deviated. when asked in class what they wanted to be, most kids would say an astronaut or a princess, but even from as young as seven natalya knew she wanted to dance for the bolshoi ballet. being from a military family, her schooling was inconsistent because she was constantly moving to different locations, and she struggled to keep any friends, but ballet was something that was consistent throughout her teenage years. 

— moved to moscow at seventeen to audition for the bolshoi ballet. trained with them for nine months before becoming a chorus dancer in the nutcracker. she lived with five others, also dancers for the bolshoi ballet, and for the next few years she would live, breathe, eat and sleep dance. in her early twenties, natalya became a recurring dancer for the bolshoi ballet company. she was by no means famous, but she became well known in the circles who frequented the opera houses. 

— one audience member who she had managed to charm both on and off the stage was moscow-based art dealer (and benefactor of the ballet company) rostislav fyodorov. they met at a charity gala, and again at several vip events in the royal opera house. several years her senior, he was smitten with her, offered to pay her tuition for the ballet school if she agreed to meet with him once a week. she did, they entered into an arrangement and soon she became quite financially dependent on him. she was 21 at the time and studying at the bolshoi ballet school, and he was 44.

— a knee injury meant she had to step back from the company and she hated not having the limelight or enough money to live the life she wanted. she eventually retired from the ballet school at 23 when she agreed to marry her sugar daddy, rocco. she was a trophy wife for a few years and in these years began to realise that as well as working as an art dealer, her husband was loosely involved with criminal activity, mostly in the counterfeiting business, but occasionally laundering money by disguising it through the art galleries donations.

— when natalya became pregnant with their first child he agreed that there’d be no more crooked business because he didn’t want to put their family in jeopardy, but he continued to make counterfeit passports. they move to saint petersberg. will is five and maura is three. when they returned from a holiday to italy one christmas, they found their house had been searched by a former colleague turned rival of rocco’s. they decide to start afresh. they sold the house in saint petersberg and the holiday home in italy, changed their surname and move to the states.

— for several years, things were good. they were the new family in a quaint north carolina suburb, full of mystery and intrigue and constantly smelling of chanel no 5 and cigarette smoke. rocco got a job as a curator in a gallery.  natalya did the grocery shopping in six inch heels and a fur coat. someone eventually tracked their family down and natalya came home from a pilates class one day to find her loving husband rocco with a letter opener lodged in his throat. they had no evidence of forced entry or any leads as to who committed the crime. in the following years, natalya took the role of the grieving widow very seriously. lots of ppl from the neighbourhood who she’d never bothered to get to know brought round sympathy gifts. 

— this was the first time  in 3 years of living in irving she actually made any friends in the town outside of yoga instructor. jst bonding with local housewives through grief, love that for her. started going to PTA meetings and being more involved in the community.

— eventually the money started to run out so to keep up with her shopping addiction she had to get a job. she was an uber driver for several years (uber driving a PORSCHE) before getting an administrative role with a lettings company and working her way up.  

— she now works part-time in real estate (only part time because she needs her spa days and her me time), mostly selling properties on aquila drive and orion avenue, but she still spends how she did when they were on an art curators salary so is always having bills notices sent to her which she just ignores. her son is worried they’re gonna end up losing everything, but at least rocco had paid off the mortgage before he kicked the bucket. natalya, once a trophy wife, and now a bored suburban widow is pretty  irresponsible with money n feelings. loves to spoil the people she loves. will impulse buy you a car.

headcanons

— mother of william fyodorov (WC!!) and maura fyodorova (deceased). came from nothing and nouveau rich. made her money as a ballet dancer and later became the sugar baby of one of a former drug cartel leader turned art dealer, rocco fyodorov.  was spoiled with blood money and soon became a bouje bitch.  married rocco after she became pregnant with their first child, william

  — when they first went to the states natalya didn't speak a word of english and her kids, who were bilingual, often had to translate for her because she refused to learn english out of spite for at least the first six months. now she is fluent in english having been in irving 20+ years but still speaks with a slight european twang. 

— literal cocaine off the dashboard mother, doing the school run totally high. presented this well put together dream woman but there was so much dodgy shit going on behind the scenes and her eldest son will started to resent her for this n their relationship grew fractured.

— the fyodorov family are  literally rebeka's family from elite before i even knew elite existed. rocco and natalya made a fortune through counterfeiting art and money laundering so they could live in a nice white-picket-fence-house with a sea view. rocco has been pushing up the daffodils for years after a trade deal went sour, or that’s how the story goes. no one really knows what happened. there was no finger prints and no signs of forced entry.  since then, natalya has fully committed to the 'grieving widow' role while bedding all of her 25 y-o sons friends. 

— natalya was closest to her younger daughter maura, who died a few years ago, after overdosing at a party.  by the time maura died, rocco was already six feet under the sod following a trade deal gone sour. grief stricken n with no one to vent to, natalya uses sex and alcohol as a escape mechanism. kind of washed up and incredibly lonely but you wouldn’t know because her lipstick and eyeliner’s always on point. loves a power suit. dresses mostly in monochrome, emerald green, indigo, navy blue or red. dark wash only.

— when they moved to the states and changed their names, rocco made them both burn their fingerprints off. she wears gloves all the time, mostly lacy ones, because of this. her obsession with gloves started when rocco bought her her first car - a red lamborghini - and she used to buy leather driving gloves to feel like a pin up girl. now she uses gloves to hide what she believes to be the only ugly and disfigured part of her, but in reality it’s barely noticeable at all, she just puts a lot of importance on beauty and youth and is quite a shallow, materialistic person.

— highkey reliant on c0k3. don’t know how her nose hasn’t collapsed tbh but she’s high functioning. always the emotionally unstable hot woman on the balcony swilling a glass of wine with her titties out. borderline sociopathic

— has a vial on a necklace containing a tiny bit of rocco’s blood and he was buried wearing a pendant with some of hers. straight ppl are fuckin gross but she’s not straight she’s actually bi or pan and had an affair with her yoga instructor shortly before her husband died. was she tryna get him out the way or was it genuinely nothing 2 do w her? who knows. not me.

— good at throwing knives. does it to relieve tension. it was a hobby during her military school days and she took it up again as a way of feeling in control of her body when her knee injury meant she had to take a break from dance.

— great at tying knots and very resourceful. as a teenager her room was always full of pulley systems it was some wallace and gromit shit. in her 20s she did a brief stint as an aerial silk performer. she’s currently experimenting with shibari, a japanese type of rope bondage, with a guy she’s sleeping with as a way of exerting control.

wanted plots.

— other middle aged ppl who used to attend her lavish dinner parties that she'd throw w her brother which were basically an excuse to show off all the nice art shit she had from ripping people off back in russia

— women she does yoga with. honestly i would love a milf squad. natalya is the samantha. materialistic, brazen cougar girlboss who says exactly what she thinks. ambitious but also her ambition is to be lazy and lounge around all day in nice underwear while her husband works long hours to pay for her spar days and she fucks the pool boys.

— local people from marina heights who came around with meatloaf and pasta dishes and grandma’s favourite recipe when she first moved to marina after her husband had tragically died and she just spent weeks wearing black and sobbing and thinking fuck i should have been an actress i am wasted on this town

— she is bored of working in real estate and looking for husband number four. if you play a rich middle aged man or your character has a rich middle aged father who lives in marina we cld do a nice plot there when she’s ‘seeing’ their dad. bt it wldn’t be too serious as tbh she loves to spread her wild oats. 

— at the same time, she’s a massive mrs robinson cougar n loves seeing younger guys. it’s something about the power dynamics. before rocco died she only ever dated guys who were way older than her and who she could be financially dependent on and now she doesn’t have to worry about paying off the mortgage she’s kind of content to just mess about with whoever she thinks is cute and maybe spoil them with a nice rolex watch every now and then. she misses her wild orgy days and desperately needs to be seen as sexy and attractive and desirable which is probably why she likes fucking younger guys to deny the fact that she’s nearly 50. wld love some hook up plots with anyone who is friends with her son who’s in his mid to late twenties, i might add him as a wanted connection just to have some drama, who knows.

— someone who works in the police / as a detective / as a journalist who is snooping around bcos they think there is something dodgy goin on w her which there absolutely is.

— a jogging group???   found family dynamic / someone who had shitty parents and comes to her for her shitty advice and they do face masks. anyone else who works as a realtor??  friends of her son?? idk i want everything

tht’s it for now. THAT'S IT FOR NOW, SHE SAYS, LIKE THIS ISN'T A 9 PAGE GOOGLE DOC. FUCKIN HELL. hmu if any of this resonates with u or your small possum children, i will feed them grapes out of the palm of my hand xx

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/722757922615083008/hiiiiiiii-i-just-wanted-to-add-a-few-points-to?source=share

I'm sorry, anon, but I have to disagree with some of your points.

First, their brand deals have absolutely nothing to do with BP. All those luxury brands wanted to tap the members way before 2022. The reason they never did individual brand endorsements is because of the strong OT7 or nothing agenda, and cause they didn't wanna limit themselves. That's why all their ambassadorships were group deals. Even their first luxury deal with LV was a group deal and pretty lax. There weren't a lot of campaigns or posts etc.

As soon as they became available for individual deals all who were interested and had time to do it - did it. (I expect Jin to get something after MS). I'm pretty sure Hobi was immediately locked with LV and Tae with Céline despite the absence of some official announcements at the time. I also think that they have better terms with their deals than BP members tbh.

Second, I don't know where u got that Jimin was more popular than Tae in the West. Even in Korea Jimin is not the most popular or more popular than Tae or JK. Most searched on Naver is Tae, then JK, and then Jimin.

And as for other countries Tae's also most searched on Google. JK is really close second and in some individual countries 1st so Tae and JK are practically even in terms of popularity. Jimin with a bigger gap from them is 3rd in popularity.

Hi @madmadmadalice!

Sorry for taking so long again! It's again a day with many asks.

Thanks for your input, I was already doubting of Jimin and Jk being the most popular ones. I feel it's very often a close call between the youngest ones.

[keenexpressions]

Kelly Zhu

1. Name, Year, & Major

Kelly Zhu, 4th Year, Psychology w/ Human Development minor

2. If you were a luxury brand, what would it be and why?

I would be gucci because gucci girls >:)) aka best line MUAHAHAH

3. Who is your personal hero and why?

My personal hero would be my older sister Grace bc she pushed me to do a lot of things in my life. She was like the tiger mom I needed in order to grow tbh. I don’t think I would have my personality now if it wasn’t for her. I don’t think I would’ve been as strong and independent without her hehe.

4. How do you react after a conflict occurs, and why?

When conflict occurs, I like to think about the pros and cons of taking action. Obviously I get a little frustrated after a conflict occurs so I like to punch my stuffed animals.

5. If you were granted 3 wishes, what would it be?

Marry Eren Jaeger, Marry Eren Jaeger, and M a r r y E r e n J a e g e r.

6. What would you Google about your life?

How to meet Eren Jaeger

7. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I think I am a very approachable person (after the first impressions bc I heard I was intimidating lmao) and I like having conversations with people! I also like that I am pretty diligent and if I do something, I want it to be the best it can be. 

8. What's your toxic trait?

That I would choose Eren Jaeger over anyone. (jk but not jk)

9. Would you visit the future or past?

I’d like to visit the future bc I already lived the past lol

10. What are the biggest differences between you today/now and five years ago? And what advice would you give to yourself from five years ago?

The biggest difference between me today vs 5 years ago is how independent I’ve become. Also, my work ethic has changed drastically. I used to be very careless of things and I would definitely let my emotions get the best of me. I would laze around and just do things half-assed. But now, I feel like I’ve been touched by the world and have experienced so many things, I feel like I can do anything. I would also say that my communication and people skills are SO different from 5 years ago. I would not have the confidence to just go up to people and start a random conversation. But now I do that with ease and it has really helped me when expanding my network. I feel that I have a pretty strong network ever since I joined many clubs/orgs and have busied myself. My advice to myself from 5 years ago would be to never settle. I feel like things can always be better and that if I settled for sticking with my same routine everyday, I wouldn’t grow. I like myself more now than I did 5 years ago and that’s because I don’t take sh!t from people anymore. I don’t feel the need to rely on people as much as I did before and I can get things done by myself. However, I wouldn’t really wish to change much about myself 5 years ago because whatever happened during those years have led me to become who I am today!

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

all of the headcanons that i have for leon x ada 💙💋

(this is for my au that i have)

in no particular order (i might update this accordingly, since this is still a developing story and i have no idea what i’m doing)

Locations

Leon lives in a townhouse like apartment, not particularly expensive but it was better for him to work as an undercover government agent in something less luxurious and more normal looking. It’s not like a super shitty apartment or anything, it’s renovated but like the shower is bad lol

I also feel like his townhouse is the kind that’s separated enough so that he actually barely sees his neighbours. 

But there’s gotta just be a really old lady that he’s next to that’s too nosey and notices when Ada starts showing up, and she’s like REALLY happy that he’s found someone lol 

and she like persistently “hits on Leon” in a joking manner, and wanting to know about the pretty lady in red, and why every time she’s here, he’s a lot happier. 

Also the old lady would get Leon’s mail whenever he’s been away.

His home is rather clean but messy sometimes. He’s the definition of everything’s a mess, but I know where my things are. 

Ada has broken into his apartment several times and he’s never made the effort to change his security, that being said he doesn’t want to leave a key out and would rather give her a key in time.

I still think he works at the white house occasionally, but headquarters will be at a nondescript location of a high rise building that he frequents. I do think that Hunnigan he reports to frequently and he does see her in person. (Also she is one of the few people impervious to his flirts and thinks he’s cringy lol)

Ada stays in a luxurious high security home and in a closed off community. She also stays in a townhouse like apartment, although much more separated from other units. 

I feel like she doesn’t an excessive amount of things, but she does like collecting antiques and art every once in a while. She’s not a super materialistic person in the sense that she likes having things but she doesn’t care if she loses it all.

She also does have an extensive closet lol, lots of shoes i think.

If she’s not at home (which she actually barely is) she has other safe houses around the world that she can stay at. (They’re usually attended to by the very few people that she trusts that are like (normal people.))

Yes, I’m intending for her to abandon her home at some point, for safety reasons, but I haven’t explored that far into the story yet. So I have no idea why she abandons it tbh.

I honestly think that Leon never “physically,” receives a key to Ada’s home. Meaning she never hands him one. 

Only after a while does he realize that she left it in the bear keychain after she dug through his bedside drawer one time. Maybe after the time that she gets too sick and he has to rescue her lmao and bring her back home does she think to give him a key.

Timeline

I think I’ll be writing my au basing from after re4 - re 6. Anything that’s during re6 will be a more established relationship, but anything prior will still be in the midst of a pre-relationship, mutual pining/angst for the relationship.

Only after re6 does Ada and Leon stay in the same place more permanently. She opts to stay at Leon’s apartment mostly because although they’re together at this point because (see above)

The only time that she’s received a key to Leon’s apartment will be around “that night,” but I also headcanon that they fooled around a lot as well.

I do not go into the vendetta!Leon era which I believe in after re6. (Where he’s like (38-40)

I’m not 100% sure if I’ll go into re2 era and if it’s referenced, it will most likely be in a flashback.

So to keep things simple, their age ranges will only range from 

Leon ~27 - 37, and Ada being ~30 - 40 respectively. I will not be able to remember exactly their ages in retrospect to Leon’s birthday and Ada’s non-existent birthday so ages may be off by a bit.

10 years is a lot of time to play with! so try not to think about the logistics of it too much since I won’t be writing chronologically anyways and will bounce back and forth (easily way to check timeline is just for context clues in the fic etc. or in the tags, i might give a general time frame.)

Leon

I visually think of re6 Leon most of the time when writing him. I still think that his hair is a more dirty blond hair colour, but perhaps in the winter his hair darkens slightly. I’m not the hugest fan of the dark brown colour he has in like vendetta. Although I still love vendetta!Leon.

He’s a fan of leather jackets and dress shirts. But he’s more likely to be found in a t-shirt and jeans at home. He does have a few good suits.

He’s not a huge tie person and Ada notices every time that he does wear one. seggys times usually happens but Leon can never remember that it’s the tie that sets Ada off. Eventually he remembers that it’s the ties lol

He’s a serial key loser, but always finds them later. He has kept Ada’s little stuffed bear keychain but mostly keeps it in his pocket or in his bedside drawer.

He smells like leather and eucalyptus, a bit of musk and sandalwood. Sometimes a bit minty. His hair smells the best. He’s impartial to cologne and only wears it occasionally. (Mostly to impress Ada) He’s also a very clean smelling person.

Leon is 100% the chef in the relationship and mostly because Ada is not capable of cooking more than a few things. Besides he loves cooking breakfast for her. And he loves breakfast hehe.

I also headcanon that he doesn’t smoke, not a fan of it at all, but he might have a bit when he was younger but quit. (Like pre police force.)

He’s also a bit of an alcoholic and I do think that he drinks his sorrows away at times.

He’s very much a golden retriever boyfriend and would remember things for Ada but rarely for himself. 

Leon is a terrible driver, but for realism sake, let’s keep all the car crashes for action parts lol

Leon’s the HUGEST BABY WHEN HE’S SICK. He’s one of those people that rarely gets sick but when he gets sick HE GETS SICK. And Ada is mostly okay taking care of him lol but struggles since he doesn’t want her to inevitably catch whatever he has. 

Leon has no green thumb and kills plants very easily.

He likes the idea of a dog but knows that with his lifestyle he wouldn’t be able to provide for it as well as he would want to. Although he would always want to get a dog.

Whenever he’s not working he does like going on vacations and just relaxing. 

He’s not super into video games but will play if he can get Ada to play with him. Also that he’s terrible at shooters cause I think that’s hilarious because of who he is, but also that he’s the best at racing games. 

Various hobbies I think he would have is cooking new recipes, drinking lol, he dabbles in some photography. He would’ve had a film camera from when he was younger and I think he would enjoy that more than like a modern dslr. Like a nice film slr he would enjoy. Also he’s canonically and old man (gotta remember he was born in 1977,) so he’s not the best with technology when it comes to things that don’t pertain to work. 

I do think he likes fixing things around the house when he can. 

Ada

Because I visualize re6 Leon, I also visualize re6 Ada. She’s mostly in red, but I imagine her to be comfortable in mostly black and cream colours. On the odd occasion she’ll wear purple. 

Her outfits consist of more form fitting clothing choices sometimes, with cut outs and she often dresses to bring attention to her form. 

She’s known to steal more than one of Leon’s shirts/sweaters.

I’m a big fan of like- descriptors of scent and have lots of like, longing feelings for Ada that I write from Leon’s perspective. So I imagine her to smell very sweet and sultry, like cherries, jasmine, honey, with a hint of florals, maybe like peonies or something like that. Not vanilla or anything too rose like.

I keep her visually as the same as possible, dark black hair, very re6 hairstyle with the slight bang, slightly longer. Not short like re4(original) and I tend to think of her with the slight fringe, not the re2remake bob.

Very “light” makeup and her lips are often a bitten red kind of colour.

She’s not afraid to wear jewelry sometimes, her favourites being necklaces/chokers, then bracelets, then earrings. She’s also okay with leaving said jewelry with Leon sometimes, she never forgets it. She just chooses to leave them there.

Ada hates getting sick, it’s her one weakness in terms of a state that she refuses to let Leon see her in. Because of that though, she does eat rather healthy, but indulges in more desserts when she can. I do think she has a bit of a sweet tooth but denies it.

ADA LIKES LATTES, AND LEON DOESN’T. I DUNNO. But I think he drinks them when she makes them for him cause he can’t refuse her. But now he can’t drink lattes unless she makes them for him. If he gets one from somewhere else he’s like >:( it’s not how Ada makes them

Also about the sickness thing, if she ever feels like she’s coming down with something, she won’t meet up with him at all. Especially in the beginning and won’t give notice if she won’t show up. 

That being said, I feel like there would be one time that Leon would catch her somehow, maybe at a point where he knows that general whereabouts of where she lives but not exactly her home yet. And he would find her just WITH THE WORST FEVER AND BARELY STANDING ON HER OWN and she’s just like i’M FINE 

He would take her back to his apartment, letting her sleep in the car and tuck her into his bed. She would hate it the entire time and be grouchy until she feels better. And she would also protest every single thing Leon brings her to help her. (ALSO CAUSE ADA HATES BEING WEAK IN FRONT OF LEON)

Ada is a early riser and more likely than not is up before Leon’s even awake.

Them together

They actually don’t speak a lot when together. When they manage to spend some time together (especially in the beginning) it’s a lot of (˵¯͒〰¯͒˵) so they’re not spending a lot of time talking

They’re quite fond of pillow talk though, a lot more vulnerable feeling when they’re naked and lazily laying in bed together.

At the beginning Leon is very afraid of his own feelings for Ada and will often shut her off because of how unclear she is about her feelings about him

Pre-relationship they will struggle a lot with their own feelings and being afraid of being vulnerable. At the same time, they would kill for each other and would do anything to save each other at the same time. 

Both would drop everything if the other is in danger.

If there was ever a hostage situation, it would 100% be Leon who is the hostage, and Ada would have to save him.

I don’t like to talk about birth control too much in fanfic tbh. Obviously be safe and get tested and all that jazz and wear protection. But for some uhhh continuity sake. 

I do somewhat headcanon that Leon’s had a vasectomy. Probably in his mid 20s. (Also vasectomies are reversible!!!) I’m not confirming nor denying this headcanon I have, but I just think about it sometimes.

That being said I don’t think that Ada’s necessarily has had her tubes tied. We’re not going all Black Widow here. But I do think that she’s perhaps on hormones, like the shot or something that’s more “long term.”

Also because I am personally not a fan of condoms lol so I tend to not write it in my fics, but of course irl be safe. (Also yes I am being safe lol do not worry about me)

I don’t know if they would have an unplanned pregnancy etc. I haven’t thought that fair yet. (Also cause vasectomies can reverse on their own, and no female birth control is 100% effective, which is why I’m keeping this option open)

But I do like the idea of a double proposal in this au.

Leon would 100% propose with a family ring that he would have changed to fit Ada’s size/aesthetic.

With Leon’s height being 5′11 and Ada’s height being 5′7, they have the most cute height difference imo. I do have a big of a height size kink? so I tend to think that Leon’s very tall in comparison. Although I’m 5′5 and I had a bf who was a similar height to Leon and it was very cute and comfortable. 

I do not think that Ada suffers from nightmares anymore. Maybe when she was in her 20s but not her 30s. I think that Leon’s too much of an empath and does still suffer from nightmares up into his 30s. That being said, if he does have nightmares, Ada will just gently coax him awake by holding him, and she’s fast enough to catch his reflexes if he decides to attack in his sleep.

ALSO though, I do think that maybe in high stress situations that Ada suffers from night terrors (which is much worse than nightmares)(i would know, I used to suffer from them)

And because it’s hard to know if someone is suffering from night terrors, Leon feels TERRIBLE cause he can’t get her to wake from them. He’ll just hold her for the rest of the night, but Ada won’t be able to fall back asleep and will just stay up the rest of the night. He might try to stay awake by cooking her something.

Will be adding more accordingly lol

[amakumos]

enhypen playing genshin ― ot7.

genre: crack maybe?? these r just headcanons lol authors note: because i love genshin and enha... i made this. feel free to tell me ur opinions as well!! also tell me who u main and what ar u are.. im a kazuha main n im ar56😈

HEESEUNG. 

this man. he’s either a raiden or eula main. 

actually i can see him maining diluc as well tbh

fucking oneshots everything?? 

he’s basically tony to. big dmg numbers, god tier artifacts, and.. he probably is a huge whale. think ... tuonto whaling for c6 ei vibes. except he does that with every banner

probably the guy everyone goes to for advice on how to make their builds better. he’d also tell u to just watch while he completely obliterates everything in the artifact domains for u 

hes that one guy who uses primogems to swap to resin and has like 100 fragile resin 

probably successfully soloed azhdaha with his dps.

he’s probably.. ar60..... 

JAY.

i can see him being a light spender, only buying genesis crystals when he rlly wants a character.

probably a xiao main (he definitely mains one of the liyue big 3) 

probably has primordial jade winged spear... 

artifact luck is mediocre but his gacha luck?? fucking insane 

probably got his favourite character at 9 pity (give me ur luck i am TIRED of getting characters at soft pity)

has never lost a 50/50 because he is mhy’s favourite

does big dmg numbers but absolutely despises abyss, he will not do it even if he gets primogems

speedruns new areas bc he likes exploring the map 

probably ar55 

JAKE.

do i even need to explain?? this man mains CHILDE.

u know how childe never crits even with like 50% crit rate?? that’s why jake gave him 90% crit rate. 

his childe’s crit ratio probably makes everyone jealous. its like 90% to 125% smth. 

LOVES CO-OP!! he does all his domains in co-op bc he probably likes making new friends (jake if u play genshin pls co op w me)

probably bangs on his keyboard when he gets a shit artifact

knows every word to the tar tar taglia song. (tartartaglia lover of snezhnayan queen)

probably didnt find out about talents until ar35

currently ar45 with like 100k exp over the amount but hes not bothered to do the ascension quest

SUNGHOON.

100% mains a cryo character, probably ayaka

doesn’t play often but when he does he literally plays for hours

probably follows leakers bc he’s saving his primogems for someone he rlly rlly wants

i think. his favourite harbinger is scaramouche 

never plays in co-op. unless its with the other members

has never needed to go back to the blizzard strayer domain due to the amount of times he’s done it to get artifacts for his main

his only properly built characters r his two dps for abyss. his supports r all like lv70 with half leveled artifacts 

but somehow can do abyss up to floor 12??? even with his half built supports?? but he did floor 12 once and he got so stressed he rage quit the game

probably ar50

SUNOO.

MAINS THE CHARACTERS THAT MANY PEOPLE DIDN’T PULL FOR. like kokomi and yoimiya 

loves playing co-op and being the healer. not just bc he thinks its helpful for the others but he likes to think abt how his teammate’s health is in his hands... so if ur rude to him .... he’s not healing u 😁

loves collecting namecards and changing his profile bc he thinks its cute

TEAPOT DECORATOR. his teapot is so beautiful like - you’d probably think he’s an interior designer

does decent dmg, the only reason why he isn’t doing super super super big numbers is bc of his artifact luck T_T (sunoo i will give u all my good artifact pieces.. even if i only have 2) 

doesn’t like killing slimes bc theyre too cute. thats why he buys slime condensate from paimons bargains

has made kokomi crit before. he is the number 1 kokomi enthusiast.

probably around ar50 as well 

JUNGWON.

to be honest i think he’d be a yanfei main!! but if we’re talking abt 5 stars, then he’s a kazuha main!

loves exploring the map and gets excited when opening luxurious chests T_T (hes so CUTE)

INVESTED IN THE LORE. probably thinks of theories abt whats happening w celestia and everything 

if you’d ask him to help u a quest with smth he would Not hesitate because he’s done all of them. 

more invested in the lore and playing the game than the gacha aspect of it, probably has like 24k primogems

f2p. he’s not those like “f2p btw😆😆😆👍” people, he’s just never thought about spending money on it bc. he doesn’t want to

doesnt even try making his builds good but does 100k+ dmg. hes just that lucky w artifacts?? he probably googles “best builds for __” and then farms the set. and then. boom. big dmg 

ar48 probably. that was specific 

NI-KI

HU TAO MAIN. he has staff of homa and everything and got her to c1 

burns grass when playing with others in co-op to decrease their health. 

loses every single 50/50 to diluc. thats why he has c4 diluc im sorry riki 

yells out loud whenever he dies 

wants qiqi solely for the purpose of putting her and hu tao on the same team. but he has never gotten her (probably jealous of tuonto and his c16 qiqi) 

never saves reckless pallad (but tbh does anyone) 

likes using jean to throw other people who hes co oping with off high mountains. 

he’s like heeseung - oneshots everything. highest dmg is around one million smth. the both of them probably compete to see who can get the highest dmg w the same character 

LOVES INAZUMA DO I NEED TO SAY MORE :(( his exploration there is 100% and he has mastered all the inazuma recipes 

ar59. he is so close to ar60 tho 

[captnjacksparrow]

Hey sparrow!

I have a question. Surprisingly it’s not SNS which I hope that’s okay. It’s about Hashimada.

I’ve read back to your other posts (to make sure I don’t ask the same question because I tend to do that) I see that you like these characters too. So I feel a bit comfortable talking about this.

I see some fans compare their relationship to Naruto and Sasuke’s. Some say Hashimada is a stronger bond than SNS. Tbh, I thought both bonds as the same, they’re both meaningful on both sides.

Now, I’m aware they’re friends and nothing more. I accept that.

Now on to my question.

So, Madara got Hashirmara’s cells and flesh to connect with him to gain more power ( I haven’t reached to this part so I’m sorry if I got his motivation or reasoning wrong) and this results to Hashi’s face forming on his chest.

Idk why but that kinda reminds me of a couple or boyfriend/girlfriend getting a tattoo of their significant other.

I’m not saying that’s exactly what’s happening just to clarify. It’s just a harmless take.

Anyways, what do you think? How do you view their relationship? Why do you like it? Do you think Hashimada is similar to SNS? Lastly, do you believe their bond is stronger than SNS?

Now, I’m aware they’re friends and nothing more. I accept that.

This is very wrong...LOL.... @larrycherry04

Calling them 'Just Friends' or 'Brothers' is just incomprehensible for me. They were openly flirting with each other throughout the series and nobody bothered to give a damn about it. They were so intense, Man!!!!! So intense to the point that they were the first couple in Narutoverse I realized inherently.

I see some fans compare their relationship to Naruto and Sasuke’s. Some say Hashimada is a stronger bond than SNS.

Why is it that people always want to compare Apples with Oranges???

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HashiMada and SNS

SNS and HashiMada were separated by 7 or 8 decades and both of their ideals were very different. It's like comparing the love of our Great-Great-Grandmom Generation's Love Story with Our Generation.

It's simply a waste of time and pointless.

However, I see many difference between them Personality-Wise.

HashiMada's(HM) daily life was far worser than SNS. HM didn't know when they will die or how long will they live because of the Clan Warfare happening on a regular basis which was the major problem during their era. Whereas SNS lived in a peaceful Era compared to HM. Their lives were never in Danger unless you go on some Dangerous missions. They could totally choose to stay in the village and remain safe, which is a luxury HM never had.

HM found their common ground in their 'Loss of Brothers' and 'a passionate dream to change the Shinobi World'. SNS bonded over their common ground in 'Loneliness'.

Madara doesn't know the meaning of the word 'Subtlety'. LOL. Whereas Sasuke was very subtle in showing his love. Very Subtle to the point where people still think Sasuke never liked Naruto.

Madara never once openly proclaimed that he will kill Hashirama. Ever. Yes, They battled against each other for non-personal reasons but Madara never said, “I will kill you, Hashirama” . While Sasuke said “I’ll am going to kill you, Naruto”, many times. Although I understand his reasons.

SNS had an honesty that HM lacks. Everytime Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto, there will be a warning first. Whereas Hashi went behind Madara's back and stabbed him. Madara went behind Hashi's back and concocted some Moon Plan. Though I understand, why HM did what they did.

Madara never had any issues with openly acknowledging Hashi's abilities, infact Madara was screaming his name like a cockatoo about how better Hashi was in everything and how everyone else sucks. LOL. Whereas it took 698 chapters for Sasuke to acknowledge Naruto.

HM battled each other for reasons bigger than themselves. For the clan. Later for the shinobi world. SNS battled each other only for their personal reasons. VoTE1 was all about ‘I won’t let you get away Vs I can’t turn my back’.... VoTE2 was about ‘I want to be alone Vs I won’t let you be alone’.... LOL.. That's why SNS battles sucks in terms of Grandeur or variety of Jutsus. Because it always looked intimate.

HashiMada's Reunion in War Arc was the absolute Troll of the Century. SNS reunion in part 2 was unsettling and unintentionally seductive.

HM never played ‘Tsundere’ card, Man!!!... They were very open and flirtatious. SNS was a slow-burn, tsundere one. In Part 1, Naruto was the Tsundere one, in Part 2, it was Sasuke...

HM was very similar to Romeo-Juliet in a Ninja warfare world. SNS was all about ‘Chasing my love for 4 years’ from Naruto’s side... ‘I won’t let any of you mere striplings lay a finger on my love... I am the only person to kill him but I really can’t kill him’ from Sasuke’s side. LOL..

At the end of the day, I love both of the ships in a different way.

SNS will be my favourite forever, though!!! And HM is my first ship.

Idk why but that kinda reminds me of a couple or boyfriend/girlfriend getting a tattoo of their significant other.

BWAHAHAHA!!! You are not alone in this..... 

I was Blushing so hard, without knowing why, when Madara revealed that tattoo for the first time.... I didn’t intend to Ship them at that point... But definitely that behaviour doesn’t qualify under ‘Friendship’ let alone ‘Brother’... And that’s why I told you, ‘You are very wrong’ in the beginning of this post!!!!

LOLLLL..... 

Why do you like it? 

I like HashiMada because this ship made me to understand Madara from an emotional perspective. Before that, I only thought of him as a Cool, Badass and Nice Looking Villain. 

When you look at him from the Narrative Point of view, Madara was the ONE AND ONLY person to have 3 different flashbacks to be told by 3 different people. 

First, We heard about him from Itachi, as a Uchiha clan member. It gave us some information about how Madara was perceived from the eyes of his very own clan members. With the way Itachi talked about him, Madara was portrayed as a power hungry person who stole his Brother’s eyes for the sake of Power.

Second, we heard about Madara from Obito, as Fake Madara, another Uchiha Clan member. That flashback portrayed Madara as a victim and it had lots of lies. He shamelessly lied about how he was never involved in Kyuubi Incident. 

Third, the flashback from Hashirama. This is where we saw the ‘Loveable’ side of Madara. Like how he was very interested in changing the Shinobi World of his time. And How he was so heartbroken when he was forced to break up with Hashirama.. He awakened his Sharingan for Hashi, Dammit!!! And the Name ‘Konoha’ was coined by Madara..... It’s like they both adopted a baby together and named it... LOL..

What Kishimoto was trying to say here is, Every person who did some irredeemable things will always have some lovelier side too. Zabuza killed many people for fun and earned a nickname called ‘A Demon’... But when you view him from the POV of Haku, he was not a complete Monster. 

Similarly Madara’s adorable side was shown to us by Hashirama. This is actually a Romantic Trope... LOL... A guy may be a monster to the entire world but towards that one girl, he will become a child and loveable person.... (Beauty and the Beast says, ‘Hello’......)

When I finish that flashback, I realized three things,

Madara was not some mindless villain. 

How come, Hashirama, a person who don’t belong to the Uchiha Clan can portray Madara in such a nice manner?? 

Why the hell Hashirama is portraying the story as if he sacrificed his ‘Great Love’ for the sake of the Village but not a ‘Friend’??? LOL.... This is when I totally shipped them from the bottom of my heart. 

And that’s why I like HashiMada because it showed me a different Madara that I’ve come to like. Let’s say,

Aren’t they just adorable???........ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Do you think Hashimada is similar to SNS?

The only similarity I could find is that both the pairs found some ‘Unexplainable Connection’ between them on their first meeting... And Both the Uchihas evolved their Sharingan when they their trying to break up from their counterparts. 

Both pairs are the reincarnations of Ashura and Indra. 

And both pairs have Senju/Uzumaki and Uchiha lineage.

Other than that, I didn’t find any similarities between them. 

Do you believe their bond is stronger than SNS?

Again, I don’t want to compare who is stronger because it is unreasonable. This story has been built upon the bond of SNS.... So, HM is a side story which has the disadvantage of Narrative time dedicated to it. And yet, with the minimal amount of time, I realized that ‘They love each other’ without anyone’s influence.

Usually, People claim that HM’s bond was weaker because Hashirama killed Madara. This is where I disagree because Sasuke also rammed his Chidori into Naruto’s chest... Thanks to the plot armour and Kurama’s healing ability, Naruto didn’t die. So, this gesture can’t be used to measure the strength of the bond, in my opinion. 

But look at how Madara behaved after Hashi came to the Battlefield????

Lollll..... A Reunion of the Century, in my opinion!!!!!

Madara never asked Hashirama about killing him at any point. They just behave like nothing happened between them. And I feel, that’s the strength of their bond. That is, to forget everything and start over from the beginning....

I sincerely feel that rather than comparing which one is stronger, I would prefer to treat both the ship as a separate entities.

And in my opinion, I always considered HM is a trend-setter for SNS.... Because, when you finish the series, both SNS and HM stands out as a different bond as compared to other friendly bonds like Kakashi/Obito, Shikamaru/Naruto or brotherly bonds like Itachi/Sasuke, Raikage/Killer Bee.... 

The strength of HashiMada can be realized from fandom’s reaction to it. I’ve literally seen many non-shippers and shippers claimed, “I would pay any money to watch a series based on Hashirama and Madara’s Era rather than this Boruto bullshit”.... And that’s my stand as well. 

If someone tells me Kishimoto can’t write Romance... Then I would simply show them HashiMada onto their faces because it is very Short, Sweet, Cute and Tragic at the same time. 

To put it simply,

HashiMada is a great ship which is very different from SNS in many aspects and it has its own Strengths which SNS lacks. That’s why, I don’t want it to be compared with each other.