#never trust abusers about their sad backstories

[furiousgoldfish]

'I had it worse' is a not a true reason to do anything to anyone. The real reason is 'I enjoy doing this to you, and I have an excuse to get away with it.'

[broiamjustalilguy]

TLDR: Gortash should have had an optional redemption route exclusive to a Durge run

i've only seen a few people talk about it, and it really is extremely sad to me that Gortash has no redemption path. he really is the bad ending version of all the other characters' cycle-of-abuse backstories. SO many bg3 characters can be saved from that, and a huge point of the game is how you can be more than what your abusers tried to make you be, and that doesn't happen for Gortash. no matter what decisions you make he has a bad ending, suffering eternally at the hand of his own god.

it's just so odd to me the way that was handled: ESPECIALLY in a durge run. i understand being unable to redeem him in a normal Tav route; he doesn't know you, why would you be able to give the help and support he needs. but in a Durge run, you two were clearly *so close* to the extent that when you arrive, he shows genuine joy at your arrival, calls you his "nearest and dearest" and has MANY other lines showing that he deeply trusted and respected you pre memory-loss.

they also give you as the player proof that durge felt *the same way* about him with things like the prayer of forgiveness letter they wrote about him: "Forgive me Father, for i can't help but admire the Chosen of your sworn foe..."

Gortash meant so much to durge that they were genuinely having a religious crisis over caring about someone and something that wasn't their Holy Father and his plan for you to kill everyone and end the world.

he cared about Durge when they were fully under their Father's control. he cared about Durge when they come back as an amnesiac. he keeps caring, even if you choose to reject your Father. he tells you you'll never be a servant, that he views you as his sole equal, that now that you have returned to him he wishes you two to rule together as one. and if you reject him or side with him, his fate is the same, and you barely acknowledge when he dies. it just seems so counter to the rest of the game and its messages. i know a lot of content was cut and changed in act 3 and that a lot of people, myself included, felt like the end of the game fell flat compared to the earlier parts, and Gortash's utilization is one of the biggest examples of that.

(sorry this is a bit of a mess lol i have strong feelings about this and his story is such a tragic waste)

[darkstarofchaos]

Hello! Another person who is incredibly frustrated with redeemed Megatron.

Me and my friends have all voiced the exact same problems and that main being that we don't ever get the before him like at all. Hints here and there but for the most part NO ONE outside of the bad guys has any bad blood towards him.

I understand not every kid show needs to be these deep emotional epics but at the same time it's still weird to me that the Autobots, who have lost countless family and friends thanks specifically to the actions of Megatron and his followers, show no sort of lingering resentment. After all, the amount of time between the war ended and the beginning of the show would be like a few hours for beings that live for millions of years.

Having the Terrans would be a great excuse to have the devil's advocate angle when other Autobots still don't feel comfortable around him. I said the same thing in my own Starscream post too about how sometimes people can't change because those around them refuse to let them.

Megatron should've felt alienated from both sides and by him not falling back into old habits and committing to staying good would've actually proved that his redemption was warranted.

I'm not asking for it to take over the show, but these little background moments. Hell, Bumblebee's attitude would've been a little bit more tolerable if you were it was coming from a place of feeling slighted pissed that the cybertronian who more or less ruined his "childhood" (I've accepted that headcanon that any given Bumblebee is basically a former child soldier) is just walking free side to side with his mentor.

The sad thing is that the first couple episodes kinda show some hints of that? Like when Optimus gives his "Roll out" bit and Megatron tells Dot he's never sure if he means him, or Bumblebee being kinda wary when he tries to call Optimus and gets Megatron (also, Megatron's matter-of-fact recounting of how he kept his soldiers in line). It wasn't enough on its own, but they could have continued the trend to show most bots are wary of him at best, or even implied that the reason some Autobots don't show up much is because they don't want to be around him. It wouldn't have taken many changes to show Megatron as fairly isolated, with maybe one or two relationships that kept him from backsliding into his old ways (his friendship with Dot works better for me because 15 years is a long time for a human, and we know he saved her life at least once).

Honestly, I was ambivalent about his "redemption" in season 1? After Jawbreaker asked him about his altmode and it turned out all he had to do to get Optimus' trust was scan an Earth alt, I pretty much gave up on getting any meaningful backstory for him, so I was resigned to him just being Generic Ex-Decepticon (and then What Dwells Within happened and he finally felt like a Megatron trying to do better to me. Not just in his interactions with Starscream, but when he interacted with Optimus and Croft too: angry, wanting to do things his way, trying to do better but slipping into old habits. If he'd been more like that throughout the show, paired with the Autobots responding appropriately to him, I would have enjoyed his character a lot more).

And then Season 2 happened. And we went the "Starscream is worse than his abuser, actually" route. And now I'm like... This is everything I do not want from a Megatron redemption. The only thing I want from a Megatron redemption is for him to face what he did to the people closest to him. Every single Megatron redemption sees him running off somewhere and leaving the Decepticons to deal with the fallout of his war, and he never has to face the people he personally hurt. And when it comes to Starscream, it's almost treated like a good thing that he hurt him, because when Megatron isn't there to "keep him in check", he's worse than Megatron ever was. And then people roll their eyes and say "Starscream is always power hungry and evil, what do you expect?" while Armada Starscream is right there, and EarthSpark Starscream in Season 1 was a hell of a lot closer to Armada than to Cyberverse.

On his own, EarthSpark Megatron was boring and a waste of potential, but not especially offensive. Paired with Starscream, and specifically Starscream as he appeared in the final episode of the latest batch, he is possibly my least favorite part of EarthSpark right now. Not as a character, but as a concept. I like Megatron, but I have no use for a redeemed Megatron who still has to believe that he's better than Starscream, and be supported in that belief by the narrative. The early scene in S2 when Megatron tells Starscream to let the war end could have been a really good character moment, because we would see that there are still things he doesn't regret, and that he truly sees himself as better than Starscream (who isn't even the one to blame for the war's continuation - I firmly believe that, since the Decepticons were the ones being hunted and locked up, it falls to Megatron and the Autobots to prove that things can be different now. And if the war is continuing, it's almost certainly because Megatron and/or the Autobots fucked up).

But instead we get, "Yeah, Megatron thinks he's a better person than Starscream. And you know what? He's right." I am so done with the abuse apologetics.

[baldurs-writers-3]

Gen Fic 1: A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfiction Rec List

This week, we have our first iteration of another recurring theme, Gen Fic!

Gen fics are fics where the primary pairing and/or focus of the fic is not romantic or sexual. This recurring theme is to help highlight fics that might not get picked up as often due to searching behaviors.

Check under the cut for seven excellent fics that explore complex platonic friendships, found family goodness, and character deep dives! And as always, comment and kudos if you like them!

Seven Minutes in Avernus by cyranonic (3503, Teen) Content Notes: None Pairings: Astarion & Karlach

While exploring the monastery Astarion and Karlach get sealed into a trap! A box of stone... Astarion doesn't handle it well, but it's a bit too early in the trip for Karlach to really understand what is happening.

Reccer says: His freak out is v. well done, and I love her moment of realization.

Taters by OrangeChickenPillow (1,593, General) Content Notes: None Pairings: The Origin Gang

Karlach might have lost one family, but she gained another (and her new family tells her "taters" with varying degrees of enthusiasm)

Reccer says: I really love team as family and this fic does it wonderfully

Lost in Frozen Fire by SadinaSaphrite (10,333, Explicit) Content Notes: Explicit for torture not sexy Pairings: Astarion & Jaheira

Astarion has a bad time and cannot save himself, even though oh how he tries. Too bad he doesn't have anybody who cares enough for him to come look for him... oh wait!

Reccer says: It's SO SAD how Astarion is hopeful and hopeful until he just has to give up and admit total defeat. Then his interactions with Jahiera are SO good.

Descent into Baldur’s Gate by Starlight_Rogue (19,331, Not Rated) Content Notes: None Pairings:

An Iseki fanfic where someone from this world wakes up as a tiefling barbarian in bg3 and lives through their favorite story

Reccer says: It is an amazing mix having humor with serious moments sprinkled throughout. It is still in progress

Fool Me Once by cyranonic (6994, Mature) Content Notes: None Pairings: Astarion & Karlach

In hindsight, Karlach wonders how she ever came to trust Enver Gortash. A requiem for loyalty in seven moments.

Reccer says: I really enjoy the exploration of Gortash's manipulation methods, and I absolutely ADORE the conversation Astarion and Karlach have afterwards! Friends don't let friends blame themselves for being abused!

Broken Little Puppets by BlackjackKent (1797, General) Content Notes: None Pairings: Astarion & Karlach

Astarion and Karlach talk a bit about how it feels after killing the people who ruined their lives.

Reccer says: The phrase 'And the hunger will never, ever, ever stop.' lives in my brain rent free. That just says it all about Astarion right there. He won, but it didn't undo anything that was done to him.

Apples by AlwaysMauria (2041, General) Content Notes: None Pairings: Astarion & OC (named Tav)

Approximately 20 years before the events of the Absolute, Astarion meets a child while on an errand for Cazador.

Reccer says: I read AlwaysMauria's fic 'Star Crossed', and this one-shot feels like such a sweet supplement to their backstory. It's a sweet interaction, and my new HC for Astarion's 'House of Nightstar' dialogue origin. Def recommend!

The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!

Next week, we’ll be exploring Worldbuilding Fics! 

[ladydostoevsky]

𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍

male!reader

TW: J*n W*, abuse, spoilers to the 5th novel? and Jun Wu backstory, DARK CONTENT

Jun Wu or now known, Bai Wuxiang, could see the rebellious fire in his eyes. Y/N or now known, Bai Wu, glared at him, his eyes full of betrayal, hurt, sadness and anger. "I trusted you. You were my third father after my real father and Mei Nianqing. I followed you, I wanted to be like you. Now I know that you were the one who tortured us and made me and Xie Lian suffer for years. You are worse than a monster."

Tears started to flow one by one from his eyes making his cheeks pink. Jun Wu tried to touch his face for which Y/N dotched away a little. With a shaking voice he said, "Don't you ever, try to touch me again." Jun Wu looked at him with a natural face like the situation didn't bother him at all. "I see myself in you. You are the perfect image of me, I wanted to make you even more perfect ruler." Y/N, through his tears, looked at him with disgust. He moved closer to Jun Wu to look him dead in the eye. "I'm not you. I will never be you. And I don't want to be you, Bai Wuxiang. Do you know what's the difference between us? My body may be in abyss, but my heart will always remain in paradise."

Jun Wu, with anger grabbed his wrist and yanked him against his front with force. "Do you know what happened to Xianle 800 years ago when he said that to me?" he said with a low voice. "I would rather suffer in the mortal realm with Xie Lian for 800 years, than be with you in Heaven." Y/N said with confident voice.

Next thing he knew was the aching pain on his left cheek. His wrist was painful and Red from the Emperor's iron crip and now he had slapped him. Jun Wu shook him with anger, "You dare to rebel against me? I am your ancestor. I have guided and helped you for hundreds of years. I wanted to make you the most powerful being in all three realms. This is what I get in return? I knew these two boys would be a bad influence on you." Jun Wu stopped shaking and let go. He reached for Y/N hair to rip out the beautiful glass butterfly clip, which Hua Cheng Gifted to him. Y/N looked in horror at how he threw the clip against a wall and shattered into pieces. More tears started to flow down his cheeks and he ran to the broken gift on the floor. "NO!" Jun Wu followed him behind.

"NO! no no no no no." He took the pieces and looked at them. It couldn’t be fixed. Hua Cheng had Gifted it to him when they were in the Ghost City with Xie Lian. It was his handy work. It could never be replaced. Y/N turned his head and looked up. Before he could do anything Jun Wu had him already in a tight grip again and lifted him up to drag him away. "Let me go! LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!" Jun Wu said nothing and only dragged the shaking and tossing Boy farther away into his palace.

They came to a stop in front of a beautiful tall double doors with many locks. 'What's this room for?' though Y/N. Jun Wu opened it and threw him inside, on the floor. The Boy looked at the man standing at the door. "What do you plan to do?" he asked with a scared and shaky voice. Jun Wu smirked darkly. "I'm gonna make sure that they will never see you again. You are gonna be my successor, I'm gonna make you one. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian will never even dream about touching you again."

After that, Jun Wu closed the door. Y/N could hear many locks which means he was now locked up in the Emperor's palace. He ran to the door and banged with all his might to get Jun Wu's attention to let him out, nothing. "Your majesty, please! Please let me out! Uncle! Uncle I beg you, don't do anything to them!" He cried all his frustration and stress out against the door. Thinking about what is gonna happen with his two lovers now? What in the heavens was he gonna do?

He was scared. He was afraid of Jun Wu, afraid of their future. Now he could only pray and hope that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng wouldn’t come to save him.

Oh how wrong he was...

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

i genuinely think that "zuko goes to ozai for advice" could be an amazing plot beat if they showed it as a self-destructive behavior that zuko clearly regrets it later because he sees that he was simply regressing by doing so. when i first heard that this was a plot point in the comics i thought it was so interesting, to see zuko so isolated he would cave to such a clearly diegetically bad decision! but that was not the way they chose to depict it and that really upset me

The Yang comics really are peak "This could have been a good writting choice if only you had not decided to go about it in the stupidest way imaginable."

Like, take the Azula plot. Azula being too paranoid and set in her ways to understand that Zuko is trying to help her out and bond, and thus lashing out against him and remaining evil, WOULD be an interesting, tragic, compelling arc, and it makes sense considering her breakdown is all about her not trusting even her own shadow.

THE PROBLEM is that this doesn't work when we see Zuko literally had her commited to an asylum where she's clearly being abused, something Yang himself confirmed. It's not "paranoia" or "being too set in her ways" that is making Azula reject Zuko's kindness - that kindness IS fake, it IS a manipulative tactic to make her let her guard down.

Same for "Ursa is a good mom who just made some mistakes." She wrote a letter with the false claim that Zuko was someone else's kid, just to spite Ozai, even though SHE KNOWS the guy is violent and abusive and already didn't like Zuko. The last thing she ever said to Zuko was "never forget who you are" yet she willingly forgot him and Azula. She says she's sorry for not loving Azula enough, yet she only mentions her ONCE after the whole thing even though Azula is missing while in the middle of very clear mental health crisis. This version of Ursa is clearly a terrible mom and a terrible person, but her backstory is sad so it gets ignored.

What Yang thinks he wrote very rarely matches his actual writting, to the point that I sometimes go "He HAS to be doing it on purpose, there's no way"

[gemidoriwillbarelyusethisaccount]

Probably the most autistic thing I've ever constructed :'3

This is a semi-crack AU officially known as In Justice and Chaos! Essentially an ISaT + Batman crossover which has been shaking around in my head for at least a month now lmao

Isabeau - Main protagonist of this AU, goes by the alias of the Barrelman. Backstory is largely the same in that, after years of ostracization, he turned to the Change God to change himself into who he is now. His past is much more troubled due to this Vaugarde being a lot more crime-centered. Isabeau uses his grief over his own traumas and the friends, family and innocents who were lost in the madness of Vaugarde to become a hero, working closely with the House of Change to - well, bring change to the deadly country, shut down the rampant crime, dethrone The King who is machinating most of it, and help the country be a safer place altogether. Is mainly the same excitable but smart bro he's known for being, but slightly hardened and harder to earn trust from considering how much worse his past is. He hates what Siffrin is doing but still believes in them, to the point where he feels something about them he cannot describe.

Siffrin - Local mentally ill fella, goes by the name of the Playing One. This Siffrin never got to meet the party pre-canon, so he was essentially left to flounder in the dark corners of Vaugarde, trying to live the best life he can after losing his home. After a time of trying to make people laugh and being widely ignored, abandoned, tormented and abused, they grow fearful of dying alone. They turn to the Favor Tree with the wish of wanting to find someone, with all the time in the world. This gives them the power of Time Craft. With every loop their search for forever friends fails, eventually causing them to lash out and start a trail of blood. He kills whoever he pleases every loop, looping back any time death takes him. He finds the bloodshed to be refreshing and hysterical, and soon shirks their identity to give into a new persona. He was a clown following a script, so he accepted his fate, took on a new look and became one of Vaugarde's top villains, the Playing One. Upon finally meeting Isabeau, he soon becomes infatuated with him and makes a new wish; eternal life if it meant getting to keep the Barrelman's attention. As such, Siffrin has weaker Time Craft now (they can return from death, but the timeline remains the same unless it's under severely grave circumstances), and routinely abuses other Crafts to where they can clear off civilians and Sadnesses in moments, but not to Level 99 (hence he would still struggle with Isabeau).

All I've thought of so far are Isa and Sif, but any ideas and suggestions on everyone else and how Vaugarde operates are always welcome <3

Part 1: Isa and Sif (here!)

Part 2: Mira and Bonnie ( HERE! )

Part 3: Odile and Euphrasie ( HERE! )

Part 4: Loop, MDP and King ( HERE! )

[bluebunnyears-08]

Why Nine is The Secondary Protagonist in Sonic Prime

I recently made an appreciation post about this edgy little fella, however, when I rewatch the show (yes I rewatch it several times daily, so what?) I feel the cogs in my brain turn and create several theories. Looking back at Nine, I realized he will be one of the BIG characters, not the big (relevant to the plot and development), but the BIG (really fucking important).

As in MIGHT BE THE DEUTERAGONIST type of BIG.

Sonic is the protagonist, as he usually is in his games, however, Nine is another huge character who is not only crucial to the plot but might also twist the plot as well.

A deuteragonist is an essential secondary character in a narrative, second only to the protagonist, and may act like a constant companion or someone who aids the protagonist. However, the deuteragonist can change from helping the protag to actively opposing them, depending on their own conflict or plot.

Nine already proves to be a huge character in Sonic Prime, however, in the first batch of episodes, Shadow does somewhat take up some of this role. However, he might change to become a tritagonist in future episodes. Someone who helps the protagonist, is the third most important character, and often the third member of the group.

So Nine might be the TRUE deuteragonist and I DO have a list of reasons why I think so.

So, with that said, let's begin.

1. He is already established to be an important character

From the first moment we meet him, we already know he's going to be a very important character in the plot. He fixes up Sonic's shoes and gloves figures out how to use a shard to open a portal, and is a very formidable ally. He is an important character to keep the plot going and to help explain the plot. However, it's not like those Sonic games, where he's just there to explain the plot. He HAS a character and personality, he's not just a cardboard cutout.

He HAS depth and complexity to him. Something I can appreciate considering the past media of any version of Tails the past years (not including Frontiers, that game was amazing). He's also obviously going to continue to be an important character in season two as well.

2. He's a very engaging character

Let's all admit it: Nine is the most interesting character in Sonic Prime. Not just because of his mindset of "get this however you can no matter what" and "do whatever it takes and needs to survive". Not just that but his snarky and cold personality combined with his nine-tailed badassery just makes him an engaging and enjoyable character.

The things he does can leave people scrambling for answers. Why exactly did he change his mind about helping the rebels? What is he planning? What is going on in that fluffy head of his?

So many questions that leave us waiting with anticipation for the next batch of episodes for answers.

3. People can relate to his trauma

Nine's backstory is what we expected, but that doesn't mean it holds back punches. Without Sonic to defend him from bullies, without Sonic to care for him and take him in, he learned to trust and look out only for himself. It's a sad backstory and it explains why he's so guarded and aloof all the time.

I've read posts that state they relate deeply to Nine and can immerse themselves in his character with empathy. I can confirm as being a victim of abuse. He's aggressive and snarky because he has walls, walls that he put up to never get hurt again. He doesn't try to justify himself in his backstory, stating he "wasn't minding his surroundings" instead of "I didn't know" or "it wasn't my fault" he shows signs of a sort of self-resentment. Again, I can relate SO MUCH to, thinking that I could've prevented it and holding myself responsible for not doing anything, that I could've stopped it from happening.

Those who suffer or have suffered can see themselves in Nine, and as a result, the sorrow we feel for him can hit harder if we know what it was like.

4. We don't know where his character is going to end up

Another bunch of posts I've seen about Nine is that we legitimately don't know where his character is going to end up. He's muddled deep in his mystery and inner turmoil that we can't see the deep end of what he's going to be. A hero? A villain? An Anti-hero?

Just what's going to happen to him?!

He has a plan but what is it?

5. He's the most controversial character

Nine's intentions and character have been put in many perspectives on what people think he's planning, what he's going to be, why he does certain things, whether he cares for Sonic or not, whether he trusts Sonic or not, and MORE.

He's been theorized and twisted into what people think about him and what he's going to do. In my opinion, if a character does this to a community, you KNOW you're doing something right. Controversial characters are very mysterious and morally ambiguous, you don't truly know why they do the things they do or what they plan, but you have your own ideas on what might happen and other people do too, despite them possibly being different from yours.

Controversy (WHEN NOT LEADING TO VIOLENCE AND DEATH THREATS) is very fun and interesting. Reading people's thoughts even if they differ from your own, with the possibility that they might change your own theories is a very enlightening and interesting thing!

6. He has a completely opposite goal to Sonic

It's very clear that Sonic and Nine have different goals that clash with each other. Sonic, being the all-loving hero he is, wants to return home and see his true friends again, not to mention help and protect the other shatter spaces. Nine on the other hand wants to make a new home, a world with just him and Sonic and nobody else, not caring for the other shatter spaces or anybody else.

Their goals clash with each other and can't be fulfilled at the same time. Nine's goal includes only him and Sonic and no one else. Sonic's goal includes others, not to mention these two are from two completely different universes.

It's clear these two, no matter how close they are, won't give up their goal for the other, so unless their willing to compromise, it might lead to something bigger.

7. His goal separates him from other variations of himself and others

While he is just another variation of one of the main characters, his goal of achieving something beyond his own universe along with keeping Sonic differentiated from the other main variations who want something within their own shatter space. Thorn wanted to keep the jungle from being destroyed, and Dread wanted the shard out of greed, the rebels want to put the council out of power and take back their land, the jungle variants wanted to eat and live among the jungle again, and the pirates are just typical pirates.

Unlike the others, whose goals can be achieved in their universes, Nine wants nothing to do with his own. Like Sonic, Nine's goal is related to the shatter space.

8. Nine truly has no one EXCEPT Sonic

Another thing to differentiate him from the other versions of himself and the main cast is how Nine has nothing to lose. Other versions of him have a group of the main cast, hell even Rusty Rose finds herself valued (not sentimentally but still) and useful to the council. Nine, however, has nobody until this bright blue hedgehog told him about a life he could've had, a life Sonic gave to his other self.

So it's no wonder he took the very person who can give him the same life to a new shatter space. He wants that desperately. It's no wonder he doesn't show an interest in getting Sonic home anymore, if he does that, the chance of having the life he always wanted, that hope, would be gone forever. I don't think Nine's going to let that happen easily.

9. Everyone roots for him and wants him to be happy

There are zero people that don't want him to achieve his goal of love and happiness. Not just for the fact that he's a version of a character we're already emotionally invested in, but also because Nine is his own person. He's still a person who was horribly abused to the point of being jaded and cold.

Seeing him smile or show comfort really melts my heart cause this kid deserves SO MUCH! I know you all agree. But it is depressing to remember that Sonic NEEDS to go back and restore his world, he'll have to leave Nine behind. I don't think they're going to go with Sonic taking Nine with him because of what might happen with the whole "they can't see each other" stuff.

And with how stubborn and desperate Nine is...

I'm curious about how they figure this out and resolve this.

10. He might affect the plot

A protagonist is not just the lead character who pushes the plot along, they also affect and can possibly change the plot as well. Sonic already kicked off the plot, it's possible for Nine to affect it in a BIG way. This can lead to a LOT of possibilities when you consider that. We KNOW he has a plan and it has something to do with the Chaos Council capturing him. This fact can lead to a LOT of interpretations.

Well, that was my list of how Nine might be the deuteragonist of Sonic Prime in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day <3

[erimeows]

Partnership

It’s warm as you and Seven sit on the roof of his house, watching the stars in the dark night sky.

When he thinks you aren’t paying attention to him, he does his best to memorize your face; (s/c) skin, (e/c) eyes, a kind smile, kissable lips. God, how he wishes he could kiss you. Briefly, the thought crosses his mind. He’s always loved making impulse decisions. Really, he could just reach over and press his lips against yours right now… But he knows he shouldn’t- for so many reasons.

First off, you don’t truly know him. You know that he has a dark past and that he’s a secret agent- you’re his ‘partner’ who he’s frequently paired with for missions that require more than one person. Still, you don’t truly understand his personal life, even though you frequent his house and spend time with him whenever the two of you don’t have much to do. Maybe… If you saw the person outside of the jokes, the hacking skills, and the fun nights spent speeding down empty roads after successful missions, you wouldn’t like him. Who would? That person- the one who he is when he’s sad and alone- is insecure, angry, and bitter. Someone as wonderful as you deserves better.

At least, that’s what Seven convinces himself. While he’s certain that you would reject him, the scariest part is what would happen if you didn’t. If you, another agent, fell in love and got into a relationship with him. What if you died? What if he died? What if his father or the agency came after you? It’s not worth the risk. You’re a dangerous, talented agent, but you’re not nearly as dangerous as Seven. 

So, he can’t pursue you, no matter how desperately he wants to do so. He trusts you more than anyone. That’s good enough. 

“Tell me a secret,” You say, turning your head to look over at the man. Your (h/l) (h/c) hair fans out beneath your head, and your gorgeous (e/c) eyes sparkle underneath the starlight. “A really good one.”

“I have lots of secrets,” Seven responds, turning to face you as well. Curiosity laces your face, but much like him, you remain careful- guarded. One hand remains in your pocket at most times, most likely gripping the handle of a weapon. “But none of them are good. You know what they say- no one can know about the pasts of cats and hackers.”

“They also say that superheroes tend to have tragic backstories. So, Mr. Defender of Justice, why don’t you tell me yours?”

“You really wanna know about my life? You swear you won’t tell a soul?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’m the illegitimate son of the Prime Minister. Seriously, the guy’s been trying to kill me for years, it’s kind of embarrassing how bad of a job he’s done,” Seven explains rather casually, even offering a shrug when you shoot him a confused glance. “I have a twin brother who means the world to me, but I went into this line of work to support him escaping from our abusive mom… And, as I’m sure you know, because of the work we do, I can never see him again.”

You hum and sit up, placing your hands on the concrete of the roof. You reach down to touch Seven, and while he doesn’t stop you, he flinches. You caress his face, then run a gentle hand through his hair. He stops to wonder, has he ever been touched like this? Maybe, when he was little, he and Saeran would cuddle on the floor of the basement to stay warm during the winter- comb each other’s dirty hair out with their fingers to keep it from getting matted- hug each other before Seven went anywhere, just in case it was the last time, because with their father hunting them down and their mother hating their existence, ‘tomorrow’ and ‘later’ were never guaranteed. 

Seven pauses, his eyes fluttering shut. This relationship that the two of you have developed is far deeper than it should be for two coworkers who are strictly forbidden from developing attachments. Seven doesn’t even deserve to have what’s left of RFA, and now he has you, too? No- he shouldn’t let you get too close. At least, not any closer than you are now. Everyone around him always ends up miserable, hurt, or dead. 

“I hope you get to see your brother again,” You whisper.

“I think,” Seven pauses, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. “It’s best that I don’t. I’m not who I was back then.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Seven opens his eyes to glance at you. You’re hovering over him slightly, your hand now resting against the side of his neck. He’s forced to push away the memories of his mother’s two hands wrapped around it, to compose himself instead of freaking out on instinct. 

“...I don’t know. Different isn’t always bad, but I’m a dangerous person. I want him to be safe.”

“Then… I hope he’s safe- always- if that’s what’ll make you happy.”

“Yeah. I hope so, too,” Seven smiles and pulls away from you to sit up. You rest your head on his shoulder. The smell of your shampoo- your perfume- your everything- floods his senses. He doesn’t stop you, even if he knows he should. “Hey, why don’t you tell me a secret?”

“I don’t really have any. I had a talent for this sort of thing… Did acrobatics for a while, learned how to hack, did some self defense classes and weapons training when I was young… A friend of a friend told me about the agency at a time I was desperate for money and I went ahead with it because I was bored with my life and wanted a fresh start; to be someone exciting, doing something meaningful,” You sigh. “Though, I was convinced by the friend of a friend that the agency was doing good work rather than… Well, rather than what we’re doing, but by the time I realized, I was already in far too deep. You know as well as I do what happens if we leave.”

Seven swallows. Neither of you have to say it- if you leave the agency, they keep sending the remaining agents after you until you’re dead and not a trace of you or your former life is left. Supposedly, they go after your loved ones, too. The agency shouldn’t know about Saeran, but now Seven has to worry about you and the RFA, too. If he or you ever wanted to leave, you’d have to do it together and in a way where no one could find you. You’d have to uproot your entire lives, go to a different country, and potentially even cut contact with all of your friends.

“Right.”

“It’s past midnight,” You stand up and stretch, looking at the stars one last time. “I should get going.”

Seven glances at his phone, only to see a barrage of notifications on the RFA messaging app. He thinks to convince you to stay the night- to sleep in his bed while he takes the couch so he can enjoy your presence for a little while longer- but the thought dies on his tongue at the sight of a new user on the notification bar.

MC has entered the chatroom.

…What the hell?

“Yeah,” Seven half-heartedly nods and rushes to open the messenger. The messages move so fast from the organization’s panic at an unauthorized user that he can barely read them. “See you later, (y/n). Text me when you get home safe.”

~

The next twenty four hours prove to be Seven’s personal hell. Whilst dealing with the chaos of MC joining the organization very suddenly, V’s peculiar reaction to the situation, Yoosung’s paranoia, and ‘Unknown’ trying to hack into both the messenger and Seven’s personal devices, Seven gets assigned a mission by the agency that he has to go on alone. 

Normally, the two of you have a system; Seven hacks into the place’s data bases to get their information, you go in and do what needs to be done- whether that be stealing something, gathering extra information, or even killing and kidnapping someone. It works beautifully, so when he was told that this was a situation delicate enough that he would have to do it all alone, he panicked.

The panic… Was for a good reason.

After finishing the mission, Seven is barely able to drive himself home. He considers calling Vanderwood for help before remembering that the man would only scold him and drag him back home to catch up on the hacking work he’s been neglecting lately. So, he drives through the late night- early morning- hell, he isn’t sure what time it is. All he’s sure of is that the wind is blowing through his blood-matted hair as it glides over the top of his convertible’s sunroof, and that he is incredibly dizzy when he arrives home.

He parks the car in his parking garage and forgets to close the damn thing before stumbling out and heading towards the door. He grumbles the passcode to the security system in Arabic and trudges in, only to nearly jump out of his skin when he sees you sitting on the living room couch.

And, for a moment, the two of you just stare at each other; Seven leaning against the doorway, you sitting on the couch, his golden eyes pouring into your (e/c) ones. There’s normally such a casual nature between the two of you. Seven hasn’t ever seen you upset, even, but as you stand up and march towards him, he can see the concern and anger on your face at seeing his injuries.

“Jesus Christ, what happened to you?” You question.

“(y/n),” Seven walks past you and into the living room, unable to meet your eyes for any longer. The house was a mess when he left with chip packets, soda cans, and dirty laundry strewn about, but now, it’s spotless. You must’ve cleaned it for him… He can’t help but feel guilty. “What are you doing here?”

“You haven’t messaged me in hours. Zen said you missed seven chat rooms in a row today,” You frown and walk towards Seven. Seven rolls his eyes at the thought of Zen ratting him out- coincidentally, the actor has been your workout buddy since Seven introduced the two of you, so of course he would tell you that the normally active Seven hasn’t been online all day. He’d be lying if he said he weren’t jealous of Zen, and especially of Zen’s friendship with you, but he’s never mentioned it. He doesn’t deserve you, after all. “I just thought I’d check on you… What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Seven shakes his head and shrugs your hand off of him. Though he acts disgusted by your touch, emptiness wells up in his heart the second you clasp your hands together and stare down at the ground. “You should just go back to yours.”

“What? But no one else is here to take care of you-”

“I don’t want to be taken care of.”

“Seven, you look like shit,” You point out.

Seven shrugs again. Sure, his face is bruised, his hair and torn clothes are drenched in blood, he’s covered in sweat, and he has scrapes all over his body, but he’s seen worse. Being caught by the two guards and beaten to a pulp before securing the files and escaping is the least of what Seven has been through in his lifetime. As much as he would love to have someone around to care for him after the rougher missions like this one, he doesn’t feel as if it’s fair to subject some poor unfortunate person to being his safe haven- especially if that person is you. 

“I always look like shit.”

“I mean, maybe, but you’re usually not-” Seven coughs into his hand, effectively cutting you off as a streak of mixed spit and blood drips onto his palm. “Jesus, are you coughing up blood?”

“Nah, it’s not that bad. Just a busted lip… And I’m pretty sure a couple of my back teeth are loose,” Seven groans and sits down on the couch, wiping his palms on his dirty jeans. He’s definitely going to have to book a dental appointment soon to get his loose teeth fixed… Or maybe pulled out. Who knows. There’s a reason why you’re usually the one to do infiltration work while he’s behind the scenes on a computer; you’re much more graceful and subtle than he is, so you can get in and out of places without being caught- a skill that Seven has realized he doesn’t have. “No need to worry about it!”

Seven turns on his phone to see multiple missed chatrooms, just as you described. Even worse, the new member, MC, seems to be concerned that he’s been gone for so long. Seven quickly enters the chatroom and offers everyone a half-assed reassurance that he was just busy with work, along with some light-hearted jokes.

“What are you doing on your phone right now?” You demand, arms crossed over your chest. “Shouldn’t you be attending to- you know- this?”

Your arms are thrown up in a wild gesture to Seven’s battered body. For what must be the millionth time that night, he shrugs.

“I’ve gotta make a good impression on the new member, y’know? Don’t want her to worry too much about me- hell, none of the others really know what this work is like!”

“So you’re fine with me worrying about you, but not them?”

“(y/n),” Seven sighs, quickly excusing himself from the chatroom after finishing reassuring everyone that he was just ‘busy with work’ and that he’s ‘totally fine’. He blankly stares up at you. All along, he knew he shouldn’t have let you get so close, but… He’s a selfish man, and he can’t help himself. He does love you, but now, because he’s let you get this close to him, you’re concerned enough to waste your night on him. Maybe it was a mistake to be friends, rather than merely work partners like the two of you were instructed by the agency. “I never told you to worry about me.”

“We’re partners, Seven.”

“Yeah, we are. We’re partners at an agency that doesn’t care about us- an agency that explicitly told us not to get emotionally attached to each other to avoid situations like this! Why don’t you just leave like everyone else?”

“Why are you acting like this?” You question, clearly upset, but still somehow keeping your calm as you sit down next to Seven- perhaps too close. You don’t even seem bothered by the mix of his and other people’s blood, dirt, and dust that’s all over him. “Is it just because you’re hurt? You’ve never been this mean before- it’s like you’re a different person!”

“I’m not acting like a different person, it’s just that you never really knew me that well,” Seven admits. “I hid this side of myself for a reason, y’know…”

Tears well up in your eyes. A pang of guilt tears through Seven’s chest. Right as he considers reaching out for you, you turn your back to him. 

“So you’re telling me that every night we’ve spent together has been a lie?”

“No, it’s not-”

“If you’re going to do this, Seven, commit to it. Has it all been a lie or not? Because you’re making it sound like you’re a totally different person and that the version of you I’ve spent all this time with isn’t really you,” You turn around to look at Seven once more with tears in your eyes. Everything Seven has done to keep you at a distance has been to make sure that you’re safe. Now, though, it’s clear that he’s hurt you deeply with what he’s said. “But I don’t think you’re telling the truth. You’re pushing me away because you have your own problems… I get it, I’m not perfect either, but it’s not fair for you to assume that… That I don’t…”

“What?”

You swallow deeply, a blush on your cheeks.

“That I don’t want to be closer to you,” You finally admit, your voice barely even a whisper. Seven feels his face turn red as well. “That I don’t love you. Why else would I want to take care of you when you’re wounded? Why else would I be so worried that you disappear for a day at a time without saying anything? You think I just run around stargazing and caring for every other member of the agency I’ve been partnered with?”

“Well, no, but-” Seven argues, only for you to cut him off.

“But what? There’s no ‘buts’ here. I thought we’d made progress last night, and that I’d finally gotten you to open up… Seven, when you love someone, you don’t just want to see them at their best. You make me laugh, and you’re wonderful, but I want more than that. I want to take care of you when you’re hurt and when you’re sick, I want to be the shoulder you cry on… I want to hold your hand and make you feel better after a long day,” You start to stand up and head for the door. “If you don’t want that, though… I guess I understand. It’s my fault for getting my hopes up, considering our line of work. I’ll just leave-”

“Wait!” Seven objects, to which you look over at him again. A shocked expression takes over your face. He wants, more than anything, to tell you that he loves you, but the words seem to die on his tongue. He hasn’t said them in years. So, instead, he starts with- “Please… Take care of me. I want you to, too, and… I’ll cry on your shoulder, if I need to.”

You smile at that, then walk back over to where Seven is sitting and offer him your hand.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up, yeah? I’ll wash your hair.”

“Okay,” Seven agrees and takes your hand. You help him up, then guide him to his bathroom. “But only if I can wash yours, too, ‘kay?”

You laugh.

“Sure thing, Seven.”

~

Later that night, the two of you are in Seven’s bed, lying side by side. You both smell of his bubblegum shampoo and soap, and though he misses the smell of yours that normally lingers on you, he’s relieved that the two of you are finally settled after the night you’ve had. His bruises have been iced, his cuts are bandaged, and your warmth envelops his body as you rest your head on his chest and curl into his side.

“Thanks for fixing me up and keeping me company, (y/n). I really don’t deserve it after how I acted earlier… I’m sorry,” Seven apologizes as he reaches over for the nightstand lamp. 

While the two of you didn’t discuss it, he assumes you’re staying the night- or, he hopes you are, at least. 

“It’s no problem. Even superheroes need a little help sometimes,” You chuckle and press a kiss against the exposed skin of Seven’s shoulder. “Seven…”

“Hey,” Seven nuzzles into your hair and kisses the top of your head. “My name is Saeyoung, so you can call me that when we’re alone.”

“Okay, then, Saeyoung. Is that all you have to say? Because I think there’s something else you’re forgetting to tell me.”

“No, um… Well, I don’t say these words often, so it’s taking me a lot of courage to say them, but I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too,” You respond and pull the blankets tightly around the two of you before settling against Saeyoung. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

[lovelystarg1rll]

Hi Sapphic

Who are your 10 favourite MHA characters?

OKAYY SOOO HERE

Ochako (she's my princess, I adore her, she has so much potential and could have been honed better, but all in all I adore her, she's a cutie.)

Momo (Momo used to be my number one but I guess that since I actually have to put character for her to be my number one)

Jirou (She's in my top, I loved her back in 2020 but she kinda got overrated but that never stopped me from liking her, I like ber musical aligned backstory I'm sad about the missing jack though, I love hero too)

Shoto (Cutie, I love him throughout his journey I have Todoroki rewritten in my thoughts so I love him even more, I think he deserves better, he never really stood out to me then but he's come around.)

Tsu, I like her now, I mean she's cool, her abilities are cool and her episodes are just as interesting, she tries to be responsible and sweet at the same time and I adore that, but I never really cared for her until This year.

Hagakure, I didn't like her at all, I always thought she was the traitor or at least the traitor in charge because I wouldn't put it past anyone to do it or accuse her but she's beautiful and an absolute sweetheart, I relate to her more now I just didn't like her that much.

Mina, It came with the 2020 thing, I didn't like the bakusquad or anything and I iust didn't care much for Mina as I do sort of now, I don't hate her, she never stood out to me, which is weird because she's adorable but I think it's her design that I don't like and that'd make sense since I like to look at an appearance and be interested.

Nejire, another princess except she was done dirty and I think her story ending should be in hell, why give Nejire a story later on only to give her a beauty pageant where as her male Bestfriends, counterparts, EQUALS got back stories and how they trust in each other so much and one looks up to the other.

Ibara Shiozaki, I love her I think the fact she's only a comedic character who has a cool ass ability, cool vibe, is only used for being a side character to get handled by other characters, I think it's fucking stupid, she's AMAZING and could have been done amazing, but noooo

Fuyumi, I don't like how she has to be the only one wanting to accept her father and be a family with him along with their mom who was abused and her baby brother who was physically abused and her brothers who were neglected and one was dead by being neglected and I think it's annoying because why is Fuyumi the only one who wants to play savior in the family only for this part of her to be given to Shoto instead, it's stupid, absolutely stupid, stop making Fuyumi have to be so I wanna help my family only to not be the hero of said family, give actual motivation, actual reason aside from wanting to be a normal family, it makes her look annoying to those who hate Endeavor and think she's trying to advocate for him instead of her just wanting to be around a normal family, why not show an episode, we are told how she feels but just because she feels this way we're never given actual insight.

[lulu2992]

I appreciate your time so much!! ♡

1.) Jacob wasn't married, but in your opinion, why do you think they kept the song only you and the music box in the game for him.

2.) The first time you meet the siblings, Individually Joseph isn't with faith and Jacob, but with john, he is do you think it's because be didn't trust him.

3.) Who was holly and Terry to john

4.)john mentioned a woman in they dlc that she gave him everything, but she made him angry. Did he kill her or just physically hurt her?

No problem :D

Question 1:

We indeed know from the lead writer that, before that idea was eventually scrapped, Jacob’s backstory was different: he had a wife and “Only You” was the song they danced to at their wedding. So why did they keep the song even though it seems it doesn’t mean anything special to him anymore?

Maybe it was too late or too inconvenient for the devs to pick a new one, or everyone still liked it, or there’s something very dark and ironic about turning people into mind-controlled killing machines using a love song, or they decided the lyrics didn’t really have to matter anymore, or maybe because, as Jacob suggests after Eli’s sacrifice, “only” the Deputy could have done it.

They are the chosen one in Joseph’s prophecy, so maybe they were also the person Jacob was waiting for all along and the song was always for them. He apparently believed his destiny was to die for Joseph and the Project so, in a way and as the lyrics say, only the Deputy could “make all this world seem right”, “the darkness bright”, and were his “destiny”.

As for the music box, it’s simply a conditioning tool, and it plays “Only You” because it’s still the song Jacob uses as an auditory conditioned stimulus, I guess.

Question 2:

Good question! You’re probably right because we also know Joseph personally contacted John to basically tell him to calm down and there’s no evidence of him doing the same for the other Heralds. An NPC also says she heard that, unlike Faith, John “never had the Father's full confidence” and, while she’s not a cultist and it seems to be a rumor, this is fiction and the line exists for a reason. That, plus the fact Joseph says the abuse his younger brother faced as a child turned him into “a monster”, “not perfect” and sometimes “not even good”, may explain why he came to the baptism. Judging from John’s reaction, it was a surprise inspection and he didn’t expect his brother to show up!

Deleted dialog also suggested Joseph may have come to this specific Cleansing because the Deputy was there, but I can see him wanting to keep an eye on John to make sure he doesn’t hurt people more than necessary too. By the way, it makes me sad he arrived precisely when John, who was apparently doing pretty good before seeing the Deputy, lost it for just a few seconds...

On a side note, I like to imagine that, canonically, since Jacob represents the Horseman of the Apocalypse riding the Red Horse of War from the Book of Revelation, which inspired Joseph’s prophecy, he was supposed to be the second seal to be broken and therefore the first Herald to die. That could not only explain why John is so angry upon seeing the Deputy and wants to hurt them, but also why Jacob is not angry at all the first time we meet him. I know he’s not as emotional as John, but if the Baptist is already dead at this point, I find Jacob oddly calm for someone who’s just lost the little brother he “always tried to look out for”, says an NPC who then adds, “Imagine what [Jacob]'s gonna do when he finds out you killed him.”

Question 3:

Who was Holly to John? In the novel Far Cry Absolution, someone he had a casual sexual relationship with. In the game, though? Nobody, it seems.

In Far Cry 5, we learn thanks to an NPC and even in the unused encyclopedia that there is (or was) someone named Holly in Hope County who joined the cult, but she lived in the Henbane River region when, in the novel, she was Will Boyd’s neighbor, implying she lived in the Holland Valley. Also, in-game Holly had a girlfriend named Charlie who is never mentioned in the book (she had an abusive husband instead).

Sure, you can find a note at the Pepper Residence that she supposedly wrote and in which a husband is mentioned, but I think it’s inconsistent with the rest of the information the game gives about her. It feels like they wanted to make it look like she was the same Holly as in Absolution... but I don’t think it works very well. Plus, we know Eden’s Gate forbade fornication (sex between unmarried people) so it feels very out of character for cultists to do that and openly admit it, especially John who is obsessed with sin and always seeking Joseph’s approval.

Who was Terry to John? Most likely another cultist, but I don’t know more. The only time he’s mentioned is in the note “Your Question”, which John wrote as a reply to him, but there is no information about Terry or what his question was. Did John even know him personally or did he call him by name simply because Terry’s note was signed?

I wish we knew more and I really want to know what he asked, but yeah, all we can conclude is that he was a cult member. I like to imagine he may be the “T.J.” who wrote this note (in John’s Gate), though:

LOST KEY Has anyone seen the weapons locker key? I spent the whole day caring for the new arrivals and lost it somewhere. Last thing I want is for John to find out. If one of you is playing tricks on me, cut it out! T.J.

It’s also very possible they’re two different people; I’m just “headcanoning” here!

Question 4:

What happened to the woman in the DLC is unclear but, since all John does in Collapse is cut people because of those “urges” he can’t control, we can assume that’s what he did to her. Did she survive? They don’t say it, but the fact they made John say, “They’re going to find out what I did to her” makes me think she can’t talk about that herself anymore and is probably dead...

I’m going to talk more about John’s characterization in Collapse and more specifically about how it influenced people’s perception of him and his actions in my reply to your other ask.

[eff-plays]

On these notes, can I umm ... have Tavs who are like ... their own people. With personal issues and hangups and conflicts and preferences. I need Tavs who have spines, who don't just exist to be soft and gentle for Astarion's sake, who don't exist to be therapists for him. Like I get it, it's self-care for writers to some extent, but it just makes for such boring reading when a Tav is always 100% understanding and pliable for Astarion. When they're head over heels instantly and understand him perfectly with minimal explanations. When they can somehow tell, feel his pain through nothing but his eyes. After knowing him for days, hours, seconds.

Need Tavs who don't let him drink from them and/or tell him to only bite enemies because it's more pragmatic. Tavs who don't get off to his bites and in fact find them painful and inconvenient. Tavs who disagree with him to his face. Tavs who call him out when he's being a cunt.

"I didn't tell anyone you're a vampire because it's not my secret to tell" but why? He never asked to keep it a secret, and he attacked you. In your sleep. You owe him nothing, and he could pose an active danger to the others if you don't tell them? How do you know he doesn't? He's done nothing to earn your trust, yet you offer it anyway. And you're not written to be stupid, just that you innately know he's important/damaged somehow, so what gives?

It annoys me that the only time meta knowledge is used it's in his favor. Like Tav just knows he's good deep down somehow. Despite him being a huge cunt constantly. Like, he kills Tav if they fail to make him stop. Without remorse. He even jokes about it later when they have the audacity to be upset about it. But that's never even a fear some Tavs have. When it makes far more sense to be suspicious he'd do that than trusting him instantly.

And another thing like ... So many Tavs are just orbiting Astarion. Just straight up fail to make connections of friendships with anyone else. They'll also have some sad backstory of course, but only Astarion is somehow aware of it, he's the only one who has any insight into their inner turmoil while everyone else doesn't give a shit, I guess. Which is just. He gets to both have the benefit of the doubt and special insight and understanding of Tav. He gets to have all the cards.

Where's the mess. Where's the conflict. Where's the intrigue and fun of two actual individual people learning to overcome their differences and/or finding comfort in their similarities?

Idk I realize I'm barking up the wrong tree because this is generally the state of most fic and the romance genre in general but it's extra evident in the Astarion fandom where he's elevated to the status of the ultimate victim and ultimate sex god so any conflict is untenable because he's soo vunlerable and sensitive and all situations must have him coming out on top or else it'll be ... idk, problematic? Abusive? Traumatic to him? What's the reason?

It ends up just doing him a disservice? Part of what makes the romance so compelling-in game (at least the Spawn route) is that Tav challenges him and his assumptions. That they push back. But in fic these Tavs "push back" by just accepting his bullshit with a smile and waiting for him to realize he's being a bitch on his own, I guess. He's also rarely allowed to be silly or cringefail, which he canonically is, and he's so coddled that it makes it look like this grown-ass man can't handle anyone disagreeing with him or teasing him, so he's always paired up with the most weaksauce spineless soft quirky manic pixie dream Tav imaginable.

Like. It's always "Uwu how can I make him happy? Anything to make him happy!" What about you hon? What do you get out of this relationship, babygirl?

And tbh this is headcanon of course but I just don't think he'd respect a doormat Tav very much. He needs to be sprayed with water every now and then. For his own good.

Whatevs. I mean write whatever you want. But. Man. I just want more cool Tavs. And less stunted and flattened Astarion who can't take a joke or a goof or a gaff, who's always too cool to fail or be wrong.

And before someone says "this is why Durge is better!" I have no interest in Durge and do not read Durge fic sorry. Also that wound't even be true.

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about Pit Babe the series ep 10:

I was really waiting for this episode and I knew it would be filled with sadness and sorrow.

▪️Babe had a fight with Charlie before the race because his boyfriend was concerned about him. Babe thought Charlie didn't trust him and said some hard words to him. He was angry at him and it was their last conversation before the accident. Obviously, Babe was heartbroken. No one would want an argument to be the last conversation you have with anyone, even more when it is your lover. Babe really suffered in this episode. I said it before but I think Pavel really knows how to cry. He is a pretty crier. You do believe in his sadness and terrible loss just by looking at him. Of course, the sorrow was followed by anger and a will to get revenge. I feel sad for Babe because he lost his best friend, his father abandoned him, Tony took advantage of him and he had to lose the only person he ever loved and felt safe with. It was hard to watch him be utterly distraught.

▪️In the middle of all this drama, Jeff made a move on Alan because he has to wait until he decides to do it, he would have to wait an eternity. That kiss on the cheek was cute but I was expecting more! Alan is supposed to be in his thirties but he flirts like he is a pre-schooler. Jeff must really like him because I would have given up. He has been flirting a lot and Alan always seems to have this surprised Pikachu face when he finally understands what is going on. I wish they made their romance start earlier because we still have to wait until next week to get a proper kiss. At least, they are living in the same place. Proximity is the key to making the romance bloom.

▪️Kim finally was out of Tony's clutches. I hope it is because Kenta helped him get to Jeff but we never got confirmation. To be honest, I was surprised when Jeff brought him to Alan's house to protect him. It felt like they made some cuts in the episode and the rescue of Kim wasn't brought smoothly enough into the story. I don't know...

▪️Tony was again very abusing towards Kenta. It is getting harder and harder to see. This kind of constant abuse must be really hard to deal mentally. I wish we got more backstory or explanation about Kenta. I feel bad for him.

▪️Way was trying to drink his sorrow at the bar and was used as an emotional punching ball by Babe, when he tried to act on his revenge plan to get to Tony through the only person he knew worked with him. Way denied any involvement in Charlie's accident. I didn't think we would see him that soon after what he did to Babe. I don't know how they will bring him again into the plot. Will he try to redeem himself by helping the X-Hunter fam when they go after Tony?

▪️Finally, we had confirmation that Dean was working against X-Hunter. He was sus since last episode. He may not be entirely responsible for Charlie's death but what he did was really shitty. He has an ego, he is pretty jealous and can't accept that he may not be as good as he thinks he is. Also, he did try to hurt Babe and was giving some stupid excuses for his behaviors. If you wanted to be outside you could just get out and find another team. Why are you trying to sabotage your previous team just because they never gave you what you wanted?! He was whining and it was annoying to hear because we never saw him try to do anything except complaining.

▪️Of course, we all know that Charlie is not really dead. The trailer gave us the clue, so it's not exactly something ground breaking. It was part of his plan, he talked about with Jeff in the last episode. Now, Babe has his power back and will collaborate with Pete to bring down Tony. Charlie will probably just save Babe's life again because he only thinks about protecting his lover.

Anyway, I still like this series and will be ready for episode 11, next Friday. Let's hope it won't have the curse of episode 11 because Babe has already suffered enough.

[mymoviefaves]

So I was thinking. I think the Genshin Impact fandom (and a lot of fandoms tbh) need to learn that there’s a difference between redemption, and humanization.

Tl;Dr None of the antagonists in Genshin have been redeemed, even if they have backstories and they’re playable.

Spoilers for Genshin, She-Ra, Steven Universe, and AtLA ahead

A complaint I see about some story lines in Genshin is that the game keeps “redeeming” evil characters, and doesn’t just let them be evil, with the exception of La Signora who died before we could get much screen time at all, and will never be playable. But the characters most everyone would call “evil” who are playable, (Childe, Raiden Shogun, and Scaramouche) get quickly redeemed with no consequences for their actions, and are no longer evil characters. And there’s a worry that other evil characters that will be playable are going to get the same treatment.

Here’s my thing, I feel like they will get the same treatment, but none of those characters have been redeemed. At any point. (You could make an argument for Scaramouche but we’ll get there). None of them are even asking for redemption. All of them have been humanized though.

So I feel like the easiest way to do this would be to give examples of redemption and examples of humanization.

Redemption:

The first characters to come to mind are Zuko in AtLA, and Catra in She-Ra.

Zuko did horrible things throughout the first two seasons of AtLA, including a lot of attempted murder/capture, lying, betraying people closest to him, being a general dick even. We know that the reason he’s like this is entirely because of his abusive father, but just having that information doesn’t redeem him as a person. He has to earn that, and he does. He gains the trust of the gang, he shows kindness without expecting anything in return, he throws himself into this fight whole heartedly against the fire nation and the only family/friends he’s ever had aside from his uncle. I feel like I don’t have to go too deep into detail, but you get it right? He actively tries to be a better person and to make good on everyone he’s wronged. The gang and Iroh don’t have to forgive him, but they do, because he earned it. And it’s a “kids” show where forgiveness is kind of a big theme.

It’s a similar situation with Catra in She-Ra. She’s a horrible person. She’s selfish, manipulative, violent, and she tried to destroy the universe for attention. We know why she’s like this, she was horribly abused and manipulated by Shadow Weaver and the Horde. She’s sad, scared, and lonely, but obviously none of this is an excuse or makes her a good person automatically. She doesn’t get a redemption arc until the last season where she sacrifices herself for Glimmer, having absolutely nothing to gain from it. She has to literally become reborn, and much like Zuko she completely devoted herself to fighting the opposite side of this fight she’s been in her whole life because it’s the right thing to do. At no point did she just trauma dump and get the best friends squad and the princesses to immediately forgive her, it took weeks of earning their trust expecting nothing in return. Again, hard work.

Humanization:

I feel like this is where a lot of confusion lies. Especially with the black and white thinking found all over the Internet. “If bad person, than horrible evil monster who kicks puppies” “If good person, than perfect saint of a person has never done anything bad in their life”. That’s just not how reality works, and that’s not how good writing works. If your antagonist is just Satan incarnate, sure that could be interesting to play around, but that has to be the main conflict. Trying to overcome this force of nature.

Great bad guys tend to have interesting motivations, and are fully fleshed out three dimensional characters.

I’ll use a controversial example, but the Diamonds in Steven Universe. They. Are. Not. Good. People. Rebecca Sugar was never trying to make them good people. They do not get redeemed at the end of the show. They do not earn Steven’s or the Gem’s forgiveness. They come to a peaceful solution (because Steven is a pacifist and it’s a kids show) but they’re at no point redeemed.

They are three dimensional though. We find out that all of them are still reeling over the “loss” of Pink, and while their actions have always been hurtful they were always meant to be in best interest for the family. Does that excuse them? No. Impact is always more important than intent, and that’s why they’re the bad guys. At the end of the day and the end of the series, they’re still not welcome in Steven’s life even if they try to be better. The audience can see them as more than just evil cartoon villains, and that makes them interesting as characters, but they’re still bad people.

Another evil antagonist who is humanized and becomes a more interesting and well rounded character, Darth Vader. Stay with me.

Obviously Anakin Skywalker gets “redeemed” at the end of the original trilogy, but it’s obviously very bare bones. It was 1985, and not a great example of a bad guy getting redeemed. However, in the prequels we can see how this literal cartoon villain, dark castle on the side of a volcano, evil character, started as an optimistic, brave, and kind hearted little boy.

Say what you want about the prequels and their writing, but the way they portrayed the downward spiral of Anakin Skywalker was fantastically done if you pay attention and don’t zone out during all the political speeches. We know Darth Vader already, but at the start of the prequels we’re introduced to a literal innocent child. We watch him literally being manipulated and groomed to the dark side by Palpatine, have no outlet to talk through his trauma so the only solution he has is violence, and when he’s at the most scared and desperate he’s ever been, he fully falls into the role of Darth Vader and goes out to murder a bunch of little kids. Little kids the same age and with the same mindset he had at the beginning of the series. Does any of this backstory, trauma, and being a victim of Palpatine’s manipulation make him a good person? No. He’s fucking Darth Vader. He kills babies and tries to drag his own son down the same path as him. It does make him into a more rounded and interesting character though. It makes him human. A terrible human, but still human.

ANYWAY BACK TO GENSHIN IMPACT

Childe, Raiden Shogun, and Scaramouche have all been humanized by the story so far, not redeemed.

Childe is a Fatui harbinger. He actively tried to kill the traveler, and while he felt bad about it (there was a translation error in the English version) tried to kill an entire city of innocent people. He only half heartedly apologized for the attempted murder and just laughed it off. He still doesn’t see what he did as wrong, or anything he does working as a harbinger as wrong. He’s by all standards a bad guy. But, he’s genuinely a kind person. We learn that he’s a loving and sweet big brother who’d do anything for his family. We’re probably going to learn about whatever traumatized the light out of his eyes soon in Fontaine, but he’s never been redeemed of being a murder happy mafia caporegime. He’s still very evil, and probably will be until either he dies trying to save the traveler/Tucer, or realizes that the Fatui are just using him and that taking care of his family is more of a threat than a favor. I have a lot of feelings about this man. But that’s the thing, he’s an interesting, well rounded character even without redemption.

Raiden Shogun has never once apologized or even asked for forgiveness for what she’s done to Inazuma. She doesn’t see her actions as evil, she just sees them as an over correction. She’s barely even able to see her citizens as people because she locked herself away from humanity for 400 years. When we get to know her and her backstory we learn that she has horrible trauma, and everything she’s done has been what she thought was best for Inazuma as a whole. We learn that she’s actually a very kind person who loves sweets and thinks the best solution to a love triangle is everyone dating each other. Does any of this redeem her and make her a good person? No. Very few Inazuma characters forgive her for what she did and the war that came from it. Kokomi is willing to be diplomatic with her, because she knows that’s what’s best for her people, but the second there’s a reason to, her and the rest of the characters effected by Raiden’s actions are ready and willing to throw hands. Will she ever ask for forgiveness or seek redemption? Probably not. But her being more than just the cartoon villain evil robot dictator that the Shogun puppet is, makes her an interesting and well rounded character.

Scaramouche/The Balladeer/Wanderer/Kabukimono/Kunikuzushi/Kuronoshi/Shouki no Kami/Babygirl is the only character so far that I feel like is in his “hey, Zuko here” era. Obviously he’s done plenty of evil things in his life. He murdered several entire families to wipe out a cultural art form because he was petty and hurt. He tried to murder the traveler several times, he helped set the vision hunt decree and war that came from it in motion, oversaw the delusion factory getting even more people killed, tried to become a god, attempting to murder the traveler again and attempting deicide on a toddler. Not to mention, overall, kind of a dick to just about everyone. He even asks “Am I evil?” And Nahida says “Yes.”

Throughout all of 3.1-3.3 we learn his tragic backstory, and how he was lied to and manipulated, and traumatized into going from “sweet and innocent puppet” Kabukimono to the Scaramouche we meet in the beginning of the game. Does any of that abstain him from everything he’s done in the past 400 years? No. But I think where we see the beginnings of a genuine redemption arc is when he decides to help the traveler and Nahida when he has no reason to. The next part of his redemption comes from when he found out the reason everyone he loved died, and the reason he became evil to begin with, was all based on a lie and decided that everyone he’s ever cared about might be saved if he never existed. And of course, after accepting all of his mistakes and the worst most evil parts of himself and still deciding to save the traveler’s life just before getting his vision.

Now, is he a fully redeemed and forgiven character even after all of that? No. Not even after all of that. The traveler is still suspicious of his motives, and doesn’t forgive him for anything. But at the same time, he told them to tell everyone effected by his actions who he is and what he’s done. He’s expecting them to come after him and he’s ready and willing to accept anything coming at him. He’s also been actively being helpful and kind to the rest of the Sumeru cast even when he has nothing to gain from it. Sure, his main reasoning for not hurting people anymore is that he has no reason to, but even if he’d never admit it he’s actively being a better person. He’s still a brat and an asshole to everyone in his life, but that’s just his charm.

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned about future playable antagonists and evil characters (Arlecchino, Dottore, honestly the rest of the Harbingers) I feel like we’re going to get their backstories, and they’ll become fully fleshed out, rounded, humanized characters, but they definitely won’t be redeemed of their evil actions by any means.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi, I recently played the RAE...and I have a LOT of opinions, but-

I'm very disappointed in how we're meant to be empathetic, kind, and understanding towards Rika and V to get a good ending. I guess, not entirely, but enough that there's a CG of Rika breaking down and hugging us, thanking us for understanding her.

This was very upsetting for me.

I'm a lot like Saeyoung, I guess I hold onto grudges. I understand in depth what led these people here, but I cannot forgive. I cannot be okay with how they have hurt Saeran. Trauma isn't justification for traumatizing others. The good ending route forces us into a position of empathy, where I want to tell them that they should suffer for not only hurting him, but continuing to justify that hurt by further hurting him...over and over in a cycle of self-importance.

What about those of us that don't want to forgive abusers? What about those of us that are angry? What about those of us that don't want to feel forced to ""understand""? I feel so invisible and so ripped away from my own choices and forced into making choices that make the bad people feel better about themselves. What about the victims that can't forgive?

You don't have to hug Rika, actually. You don't have to forgive V or Rika, either, and nobody's asking you to do that in the After Ending. Saeyoung won't forgive these people anymore than you will. A sad backstory will never be justification for wrongdoing.

I don't care what kind of horrible thing somebody went through, it will never erase the horrible things they did to other people beyond that. I feel sympathy for anyone who has gone through suffering in their life because nobody deserves to suffer, but while we can empathize with the pain someone went through? It doesn’t mean we forgive or justify what came after that. 

Rika suffered horribly at the hands of her adopted family, to give the most basic example. She didn't deserve to be treated that way. I can empathize with the pain she went through because I know what it feels like to be treated horribly by people who are supposed to love you. However, outside of that? I feel nothing but anger toward her for what she did.

There is no justification for her actions.

People suffer every day but many don't turn to make others suffer just as they suffered. Cool motive, still murder! 

I know what you want to say in the game. I know you want to tell all of those people to go fuck themselves.

You want to tell them what kind of people they are to their face and make sure they understand what horrible things they've done and how there is no way in the world you could ever forgive them for what they did. There are instances throughout the RAE where you can say these things, but a lot of them are not as forthcoming as many wish they were. 

Listen, when I had to watch V drug Saeyoung, I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tell him that his mother would be disappointed in the man he was because I knew that would crush him more than slap ever could. I wanted to tell him that because I know he can be better than what he is at his lowest points, in the Secret Ending and RAE.

There are plenty of instances where you get to drag Rika for what she's done, too. God, both in Ray Route AND the RAE. You get to tell her what she is in countless chat rooms, making it clear that she has hurt Saeran and that she can't control him, but I get that’s not as satisfying for many people.

Trust me, I understand where you're coming from here because I'm not the kind of person who forgives others, either. I hold on to my grudges because they're not hurting me or anyone else the longer I hold on to them. Do I wish the after ending had way more instances where you could be more forthcoming in your words to V, Rika, and Saejoong?

Yes, while there are some instances where you can say what you want to say about what you feel here, I also wish there were more of them because I wouldn’t mince words if I was there.  

But, I think it's important to understand that you don't have to forgive somebody even if you hear them out. Frankly, in that scene with Rika, she speaks at you. You're not exactly in a position where you can ignore her, so to speak. You have no choice but to give her and V the benefit of the doubt because they are the ones who can lead you to Saeran.

You have to choose to trust them in one moment because they are your only hope in finding him before it's too late. Just because you choose to trust them in that moment does not mean you accept them, you know? I always thought of that scene as one where I had no choice but to listen to them for the sake of what I needed to do for Saeran.

This is her perception of things, not yours.

She's speaking at you and you don't have the opportunity to say otherwise. She may feel that you have allowed her to feel accepted by you since you decided to “trust” V, but at no point in the RAE do you allow her to do that. I can’t recall a single instance of us giving Rika a chance but I can see where this might be confusing. It is only her opinion that you trusting either one of them means that you want to understand or give them a chance.

Do I think it would have been wonderful to have a moment with her where you ream her out in a visual novel for all of the horrible things she's done? Like, in this specific moment? Absolutely, I think this scene would have benefited from allowing both sides to have that option.

She's at a point in her journey where she would be willing to hear everything you had to say about her and take it. 

This is what happens if you decide to listen to what she's saying and not embrace her.

The scene cuts away right there and you immediately go into the hunt for Saeran, who’s still by the lakeside. This is the option they give you to not embrace Rika. You are not at all obligated to do that. Like I said, would this have been a great instance to put a third option where you tell her like it is?

Absolutely, but that's not what they did, unfortunately. This would have been the perfect place for us to finally have the opportunity to say what we want to say as people who do not choose to forgive others for all of the things they've done, even if they decide they're no longer going to do anything like that ever again and they want to work on being better people. 

Just because that person goes on to try and be a better person doesn't mean you have to allow them to show you what they're like on their journey to right their wrongs and be better than they were the day before. You don't have to give them a second chance. 

But, do you know what Saeran needs?

You don't have to give somebody a chance to explain why they did what they did or try to excuse it. But I will say this here, if you value Saeran’s wants and desires in life, you understand that he wants to hear them out.

He wants to forgive them, not because he's okay with what happened to him, or because he's somehow saying that he wants them in his life going forward. He is choosing to forgive them so he can learn how to forgive himself for what he did to you and anyone else he’s hurt.

He has been holding on to what he did ever since he realized he was in the wrong, and he did not forgive himself at the end of Ray Route when you did. I believe it's going to take a long time for him to forgive himself for everything, and that's because he knows how to hold himself accountable for his actions. 

He's not going to shy away from anything he's done. He's going to own up to it every time and promise to be better today, tomorrow, and the day after that. For him to be able to find true peace, he needs to hear why the people who hurt him did what they did and what brought them to that point. That is a part of his journey. That is why his good ending centers around you facing his father, making that man explain himself in bitter detail so Saeran has the chance to hear it. 

The normal ending doesn't allow him to have that chance. It allows Rika to hold herself accountable in front of Saejoong Choi. She tears that man to filth because she knows that she is no better than he is, and she's not going to allow that man to do what she's done any longer, and she's going to face what she needs to face because she's chosen to face punishment. The only good thing she can do at that moment is take that man down. 

However, this makes it the normal ending because it does not allow Saeran to have what he needs to be at total peace. Sure, he's still happy in the normal ending and he has everything he needs, but for him to feel fully at ease he needs to hear his father speak.

I understand that not everybody agrees with what he's doing because the topic of forgiveness can be so misunderstood in this world due to the way it's taught.

So many people are taught to forgive and forget, but that is not the only act of forgiveness. You can forgive somebody if that brings you peace, and then you can tell them to leave you alone forever. You can hate somebody forever and hold on to that pain as long as you want.

You can forgive somebody and allow them to come back into your life with the stipulation that they prove themselves. You can tell that person to go fuck themselves and never bother you again. As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, you feel what you need to feel and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 

When you do what you do in the good ending, you do so on behalf of his feelings regardless of how you feel. I certainly don't forgive any of the people who hurt him, and I likely never will, but I value what he needs and wants.

Did I have to do that for him? No, technically speaking, I didn't have to ask those people anything or talk to them in any capacity. He would never judge anyone for choosing to hold on to their pain and never forgive another person. That's the point. I respect his choices and he respects mine. I know what I feel in my heart and I know what he feels in his.

This After Ending makes it abundantly clear that it is your choice and nobody should ever make you feel bad for what you choose.

Saeran respects Saeyoung.

He does not expect his brother to forgive their father or anyone else for that matter.

I'll be clear with you, I think one of the reasons why Saejoong Choi walked out of that room to specifically find Saeyoung is because Saeran told him to. Saejoong didn’t have a magic change of heart! But, for whatever reason, he's decided to face the music because there's really no other option for him. The only reason I can think of as to why that man would walk into that hallway is because of Saeran.

Saejoong could’ve turned himself into any authority figure, but he WENT TO SAEYOUNG. Saeran likely reamed into him and let him know that if he wanted to do SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE, he would let Saeyoung be the one to take him down once and for all. Because he damn well understands that his older brother has lived his life in fear of that man.

Every waking second was dedicated to being afraid of that mysterious figure around the corner.

He may not be sure what he wants to say to his brother, but he knows what his brother needs to find peace. The game may not say it out right but I will always believe in my heart that he advocated for his brother to have the opportunity to be able to beat the shit out of their father and take him to jail. 

Saeran respects people who don’t choose to forgive. He would never tell you to do something you don't want to do. He doesn't want anybody to tell him what to do anymore, either. His entire arc was about discovering what it meant to be free and what it means to have autonomous consent over your own choices. I don't think for a second he would ever put somebody in a position where they had to choose something that did not align with what felt right to them. 

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree with you that they could have done more to present this perspective, but with what they have done, it's a great basis to start with if you want to work on writing your own fanfiction about it. This game series isn't perfect, but I know we love it all the same.

I'm sorry that the way the game presents it doesn't do so in a way that allows many of us to express the way we feel about trauma. I know it can feel disheartening at times to not have the opportunity to do everything you want to do to find your peace. 

The execution may be a little messy but the attempt is there. God knows this ending did it a little bit better than V’s After Ending where you’re forced to Forgive to get the better ending.

[cutiejihyo]

what’s jihyo’s past in the 3mix au?

- 🪷

i'll be using this request so i can redo the backstory of the 3mix au, the old one will still be up but it's not that great (it has plot mistakes) and i won't be putting it on my masterlist

very large tw for mentions of abuse

jihyo had a very rough start before ending up in the hands of nayeon and jeongyeon. once she received her little classification, her family wasn't able to take care of her, so they ended up putting her into the foster care system.

from there, she went through a very large variety of homes, most of which were horrible and didn't treat her good at all. a lot of the homes were also unsure of how to take care of a little like jihyo, having such a young headspace.

she was physically and emotionally abused in a number of the homes she went into, leaving her sensitive to sudden movements and voices being raised. she was also neglected pretty often, sometimes going days without being seen or even fed.

another huge problem in these homes is that she was abandoned very often, which explains her fear of jeongyeon and nayeon abandoning her someday.

overall, she just has a hard time trusting people after everything she's been through and while she knows she's completely safe and loved under nayeon and jeongyeon's care, she will most likely always have a small feeling deep down that one day, they won't love her anymore. even though her feelings are very untrue, she can't control them.

the last foster house she was ever in was a horrible home, leaving her alone in a dark room with no food or bed. eventually, she got out and was placed with momo's family.

momo had a wife, sana, and a little of her own, mina. jihyo was an emergency placement, and she was only supposed to be momo's family for two weeks. after that, she would be put back into the system.

momo also had a best friend, nayeon. nayeon visited momo a lot, so she got to see jihyo as well.

nayeon immediately knew there was something special about hyo. she knew she couldn't let her go back into the horrible foster care system for littles, so she talked to momo about possibly being able to take in jihyo for long term.

momo said it would be fine, she would just have to check in with jihyo's social worker. another obstacle to get around was nayeon's wife, jeongyeon.

jeongyeon was initially very hesitant about taking care of another little fulltime. her past experiences ended up in heartbreak, and she couldn't bare to go through that again, but nayeon promised her that everything would be okay this time, and to just trust her on this.

so that's how jihyo wiggled her way into the couple's life. she stole their hearts soon after entering their home, and they knew they could never let her go.

they also made a promise, a promise to never let jihyo get hurt again. it's quite a sad sight to see jeongyeon crying at night, thinking about the things jihyo went through (jeongyeon rarely cries).

eventually, they were able to adopt her, and that's how they knew that she was truly the one, and that's how jihyo also knew that she was very much loved by her mama and mommy.