#never thought I'd actually see the day
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The constituency I live in has always always been a safe Tory seat as long as it has existed, and the exit poll is predicting it's gone lib dem, so if thats right, that's massive and I am very glad
#and im no fan of the lib dems either#but i did do a tactical vote for them even though id have liked to vote labour#and the Tories might have actually lost the seat??? holy shit#never thought I'd actually see the day#i mean i havent seen it yet but the exit poll tends to be pretty accurate#general election 2024#i meant green not labour !!!!!!! think i glanced up and read the word labour as i was typing#not sure if anyone picked up on that yet but i just noticed my mistake#i do not support starmers labour
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Best Present Ever
It's Wade's birthday, but he finds the one-year anniversary of meeting Logan far more important. Wolvie, however, isn't sure he needs to make a wish this time around...
(For @poolverine-week day 7: birthday!)
Content Warnings: exploration of worst!logan's past and the death and suffering that comes with it
Read it under the cut or on ao3!
Logan shot awake that morning, the blood of so, so many people still feeling fresh on his claws. It had been washed away years ago, but the memories still seemed to haunt him, no matter how many steps he took in this new world. Living still felt like a chore, and he still felt like a failure of a person no matter how many times Wade tried to convince him otherwise-
Wade. Wasn’t he in bed with me last night?
On mornings like this, his claws would normally wind up embedded inside of Wade. Logan was utterly distraught the first time it happened, but after months and months of sleeping together, he eventually grew numb to it with the knowledge that Wade had never gotten mad at him about it before, and for some reason, he never would. But there was none of his blood on his claws today, only shredded sheets and another pillow that needed to be replaced.
Where did he go?
—
In the back of his mind, Logan thought he knew a man named Wade once. Back before Weapon X, he probably would’ve fought alongside him in the secret forces, using his brutal nature for good just as Logan had been forced to do. There was a sort of peace in knowing someone as born for destruction as you were, so fucked over by fate that there was no way around your nature except through it.
At least he could control it. Fate seemed to have other plans for Wade, though- the head of Weapon X had somehow managed to find a way to rip that control away from him through forced mutation. When they saw each other once again, he couldn’t even speak, let alone think for himself. Logan’s claws had been the ones to end his misery after a long, horrible fight- at least, he hoped they had.
Those memories hadn’t been wiped- at least, not by Stryker. The only reason he remembered, in the wake of everything else, was that it marked the first time he’d heavily abused alcohol to drown out the memories of his muffled screams at his hands.
The first of many, many times to come.
—
“Wolvie!! Oh- good, you’re awake. You always sleep like a rock whenever I wake up before you- do you know how hard it is to get you off of me??”
Ah, there he was. Of course he hadn’t gone far, and neither had that mouth of his. Always having to talk about something… He’d take his droning on over his inner monologue any day, though. Ever since they’d finally stopped being emotionally constipated assholes and decided to get together, Logan kind of missed it when Wade wasn’t around. This world was too quiet and dull without him…
“Morning, Wade,” he responded, retracting his claws from the bed. Logan knew exactly what Wade was gonna ask based on that look in his eyes, so to prevent ruining his morning, he held a hand up and said, “I’m fine. Just… don’t worry about it.”
Unfortunately for Logan, this was Wade he was dealing with. “Too late for that. I will never not worry about you, babygirl- did you have another nightmare?? While I wasn’t around to hold you tenderly and tell you everything was okay… I have failed you, my dearest and one true love, and I am deeply sorry. How ever can I make this right by you?” he lamented as over-dramatically as possible, getting on his knees and everything.
Logan’s face scrunched up at Wade’s antics as he pretended to be annoyed- but fuck it all, he really couldn’t be. Those puppy eyes worked too well, and he hated it. Sure, he got nervous when Wade was gone for too long, but it wasn’t like he was some lost puppy when Wade was even just in a different room than he was for five minutes. He could handle himself.
“But you always miss me so much, don’t you~?”
“Stop reading my thoughts, Wade. Please.”
—
Logan was found by the professor not long after that. There, he’d discovered others just like him, with all sorts of different mutations- the X-Men. The family he’d found after he lost everything else. The defenders of mutantkind, the friends he could always rely on… that’s what he’d tried to believe, at least. Try as he might, Logan could never bring himself to feel comfortable around them… around anyone, really.
Something deep within him had the sense that the greatest danger never came from those he expected, but from the people he thought he could trust- wanted, so badly, to trust. To love, and be loved in return, regardless of that love’s nature. Logan, though, never felt quite right around any of them. He never felt like he belonged- not even around… Scott. Jean. Kurt.
(He hated those names now. Couldn’t fucking stand hearing them, in any context.)
Logan wasn’t a hero. At best, he was good muscle and an intimidating face to scare the bad guys with. Nobody had ever made him feel like he was anything more than that, try as they might. He’d had enough one night, when the cheap pot shots at his animalistic qualities were too much, scraping at his head when it was already sore from self-loathing and the few memories he’d retained of his past life…
They went on a mission that night. Logan went bar hopping instead.
He would never see them alive again.
–
“...Anyways!! Maybe these’ll help the horrors leave your head, peanut,” Wade chirped, holding a plate of… pancakes. Logan would know that smell anywhere- the agent of chaos he lived with always insisted on making them every other morning.
Logam would be tired of them by now, if not for the infectious joy they always brought to their mornings. It was less about the food, and more about how much fun Wade always had making them… Fuck, it would’ve been nice if he woken up earlier. He could’ve helped out! Or maybe he’d just sit at the table, watching Wade hum a song he didn’t recognize, dance in place to the beat before he put some batter on the griddle. He’d ask for blueberries if prompted, mostly to hear another ramble about how chocolate chips were the only correct add-in-
“Hey! Earth to Wolvie?? These are only the special-est pancakes ever… c’mon, humor me here, will ya?” A light poke at his nose made Logan huff, snapping him out of his trance.
“Y-Yeah, sorry. I’m fine, just…” It always felt odd saying that when it… wasn’t entirely a lie anymore. “...Tired. I’ll get up soon, just… gimme a bit-”
“Ah-ah! Absolutely not, Logi-Bear!!” Wade set a hand on Logan’s shoulder, forcing him to sit still- he hadn’t even moved yet. “Today calls for only the most romantic things I could possibly treat my emotional support 2000s-era heartthrob to… and that means we’re having breakfast in bed. I don’t make the rules, babe!”
Immediately, the pancakes were set in Logan’s lap, complete with a fork and knife, and he had to move quickly to stop the plate from sliding around. “...Do you also think sticky sheets are romantic, bub?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them- mostly because of the way Wade’s face glowed with mirth upon hearing them.
“Of course I do! This bed’s gonna see a lot more sticky stuff tonight, though, and you know it…”
Logan hid his flushed face in his hands, cussing under his breath as Wade giggled uncontrollably. How immature was he…? The worst part was how right he was, of course. Taking a look at his pancakes… they seemed misshapen. No, not misshapen- it seemed like they were supposed to be shaped like his mask, with a few ‘snikt’ marks drawn into them with batter. They were even complete with blueberries, syrup, whipped cream, powdered sugar, and… a candle? Thank fuck it wasn’t lit yet!
“Well… we’re pulling all the stops today, aren’t we? I mean, thanks for the food, but- what’s all this about, babe?” As confused as he was, Logan couldn’t help but smile. Wade was always one for fun gifts and gestures, but this seemed like a lot, even for him.
When Wade pulled out a fucking lighter, Logan immediately flung the candle off of the pancakes. The sad look Wade gave him stung- but fuck if he was letting the house burn down over this!!
“…Happy anniversary? Damn, guess you didn’t want a wish after all…”
—
The mansion was burning down.
Logan was barely lucid as he staggered back to what was supposed to be his home. All at once, though, awareness flooded his mind again the moment he comprehended what he was looking at. His home was being destroyed right in front of him, and he instantly rushed over to try and help his comrades salvage what would be left.
As Logan got closer to the bonfire that was once his home, he heard shouting, chanting… cheering?? People were celebrating this vile display of hatred. Nothing he wasn’t used to. He’d just lop their heads off, and his family would-
…
They wouldn’t do anything.
Not with their bodies impaled in the middle of the crowd, paraded by masked individuals who were protected by a sea of people chanting, jeering, or screaming in outrage at the scene before them.
Many of those disgusted individuals… they’d left the mansion before this happened.
But Logan didn’t care. Any shred of morality left his body in that moment, and his claws unsheathed so fast he thought he’d never be able to pull them back in again.
It was a total bloodbath. Hundreds more people died that night- all of the perpetrators, sure, but not even those who were trying to fight against the X-Men’s killers were safe. Not even some of the very students he’d sworn to protect. In that moment, which went by in what felt like seconds to him, Logan had caused the greatest atrocity ever committed by mutantkind. No other mutant would ever be as notable as he was.
How could they, if Logan was the only mutant the humans couldn’t kill?
—
“Oh, there’s lots of things I’ve got to wish for, bub. Burning this shitty apartment down ain’t one of them, though.”
Wade snorted at that comment, putting the lighter away safely and stepping closer to Logan. “Aw, c’mon, what’s a little arson between friends?” he asked, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder and shooting those puppy dog eyes at him, like a dog begging for a taste of water boiling on the stove.
Logan laughed dryly at the thought. Wade was so ridiculous sometimes… did he still love his stupid ass? Of course he did. And he didn’t even feel stupid for it anymore, because honestly? He was being sweet this morning. Why kick the gift horse in the mouth? Or however Wade put it that one time…
“I don’t want to celebrate our… anniversary? By becoming homeless, and I don’t think you want to, either.” Logan took a moment to think about what Wade meant by that. What was today an ‘anniversary’ of?? He had to glance back down at his pancakes to get the slightest idea of what that meant… and holy shit. “Has it really been that long since we’ve met each other?”
Wade, perking up instantly, nodded enthusiastically against him. “Of course I’d remember!! My phone started making those “1 year ago today” albums at 5 AM, and I- Logan, I almost cried. There’s so many cute pictures of us from back when you hated my guts…”
Logan never hated him. He’d hated a lot of people in his time, but honestly, when his world came crumbling down, Logan lost the will to hate people, just as he’d lost the will to love, so he was just… mad at everyone, all the time. That was even true in that fucking car- he’d only called him all those nasty things because he was pissed. Mostly at himself, and- he still hadn’t fully forgiven himself for what he said. Or anything else, really. Forgiving Wade- hell, even choosing to love him- was way easier than that would ever be!
“…and OH MY GOD, the first picture I got of Dogpool!! Oh, Logan, you have to… are you even paying attention to me? Hey, don’t get all broody on me here, babycakes! This fic’s supposed to be fluffy, right? C’mon… hey-“ Wade guided Logan’s face to look at him, into that diseased-yet-kind soul of his.
“Eyes on me, now…” Logan’s nose scrunched up at the patronizing tone Wade took with him, but he obliged anyways. “Now. Look at this one,” The next picture on the album was Wade, after that “fight” of theirs, wrapped in seatbelts, covered in blood and making what looked like a kissy face at a passed-out Logan behind him, with the caption “noo don’t stab me you’re so sexy haha 😘.” “Doesn’t that make you feel better?”
Not really. But also… kinda. Yeah. “Maybe,” Logan shrugged, a slight smirk on his face. Even after a year, that was still the weirdest thing they’d done that Logan could accurately describe as “hot.” And they couldn’t ever recreate it!! No way for two people to have hot hate sex if they couldn’t even pretend to hate each other anymore…
Out of pure impulse, Logan moved his pancakes onto the nightstand, wrapped his arms around Wade, and rolled him over onto the bed with him. That squeak he always let out whenever Logan did this always made him laugh. Flustering Wade back was one of his favorite things in the world…
“If I’d known you were taking pictures, I would’ve grabbed that damn phone and taken some of my own that night,” Logan growled into his ear, grinning at how Wade shuddered in response.
“Mm… I don’t think you would’ve!” Wade whispered. “I think you would’ve been too busy f-wording me to focus on anything else, right?” he said, winking in… someone’s general direction- why’d he always do that? Some things about Wade were still completely lost on Logan…
“Well, you had time while you were trying to save the world, didn’t you?” he said, catching his album flipping to a selfie Wade took with Cassandra putting his fingers inside Logan’s face in the background- wait, what the fuck?
“Saving the world and saving you, peanut,” Wade corrected, a softer smile on his face now. “But… honestly, I think you might’ve saved me a bit more. I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t you I’d found…”
—
Logan deserved nothing. Not after what he did.
His fit of murderous rage had given the anti-mutes the ammo they needed to complete their genocide of every single mutant on the planet. They’d spent a while trying to kill him, but once Logan was the only mutant left alive, they figured it was punishment enough to let him live out the rest of his days in a world that hated him.
And they were right. Logan was homeless and completely alone, obviously hated by the mutant killers, but especially loathed by everyone who’d fought against them, everyone who had lost a mutant loved one- especially at the Wolverine’s claws that night. Every single day, every moment he lived was a reminder of what he’d done, how he’d doomed his world.
He couldn’t bear to spend a second of his life sober. His alcoholism accelerated to a point where lethal levels of drinking barely affected him anymore, but it didn’t matter. It was better to relive his greatest crimes with a slightly foggy mind than to let the thoughts scream ceaselessly at him.
The obvious solution would be to let himself die, right? Just lie down in whatever shelter he could until his body finally starved to death… but Logan knew that would bring him peace.
Something he would never have. Something he would never deserve.
Living was the only punishment fit for him.
—
Logan snorted, very much begging to differ. “At least you admit you saved me. I had nothing, Wade… Not until I met you.” Even after a year, Logan still meant those words. He no longer mourned the idea that there was nothing left for him in his old universe- at this point, it felt like a simple statement of fact. The memories of the events that ruined it still hurt, and he was far from healed… but Logan had no idea what he was thinking, wanting to go back after they’d defeated Cassandra. There wasn’t a life he could imagine living without Wade anymore…
As if he’d read his mind, Wade’s lips pressed against Logan’s in enthusiastic agreement. He returned the kiss softly, sighing in contentment. Much like the rest of him, Wade’s lips were scarred, textured with the physical manifestation of how much pain he’d suffered to get here. Every kiss he gave him reminded Logan how much pain Wade had experienced, and before, it’d felt like the tie that bound them. Now, though? After months of loving and being loved by Wade, thinking of their bond in terms of pain alone felt reductive. Maybe his existence in his old world was defined by how much he hurt… but not here. Not anymore.
When they parted, Wade leaned his forehead against him, staring at him with the softest eyes imaginable, a wordless declaration of love. Logan could only hope that the smile on his face conveyed the same sentiment.
Of course, the moment couldn’t last forever, and in true Wade fashion, he was the one to break it. “I think your pancakes are getting cold, sweetums… We can’t celebrate until you’ve had your breakfast!!” he insisted, dragging Logan up to sit again- as much as he stubbornly protested. He was very comfortable right there, why’d he have to ruin it? Over food?? He could always eat later.
But… sure. They could have pancakes. Logan had realized something very interesting about today, so… “You first,” Logan insisted, passing the fork to Wade, who seemed incredibly confused.
“Nuh uh, Wolvie- it’s my turn to celebrate you right now!! Those were made specifically with you in mind-“
“Weren’t you having a party when you brought me home?”
It only took a few seconds for it to sink in. Logan watched with glee as Wade’s eyes widened, almost seeming devastated at the realization. He had to bite his tongue to keep from cackling when Wade yelled-
“I forgot my birthday again???”
#WOOOO IT'S DONE#i actually finished something fanfic related. never thought i'd see the day#poolverine week 2024#deadpool#poolverine#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadclaws#poolverine fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfics#gale's writing
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A Yorse in your yard? Its more likely than you think! Really loved making this (incredibly cracked) ko-fi request for @notoftheskaal - thank you very much for your support, and for making me draw this haha!
(My links and my ko-fi, should you wish!)
#there was never a day that I thought I'd unironically draw Yorse#but that day has arrived#let it be known that this was actually the lesser cursed of the two sketches I did#that's right I did in fact also draw THAT Yorse#Maybe one day it will be forced to see the light of day#but for now you get Centaur Yorse#featuring Gambol and Shroud as totally normal horses in the bg#you're welcome - or I'm sorry#depends on how this makes you feel#rwby#bumbleby#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#yorse#kofi request#artist on kofi#rwby fanart#temp tats art
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The amount of jews I know who are planning on or are currently running private libraries is a non-zero number. Can't beat the well-read allegations for real 😭
#jumblr#personal thoughts tag#if i had a couple hundred more books this might be feasible for me#and also if i lived in a better place#i have (personally) NEVER heard of someone actually having a private library until i met jews#as in they run it out of their house and as a single person/family#in my ideal world i would have a private library and would host book-reading parties for the people who borrow from me#and i'd put out (obv kosher) snacks and tea/coffee/hot cocoa as we read#and we could have blankets and pillows and natural/soft artificial lighting#and as people stop reading we could discuss what we read. maybe we all read and study together though#at heart i know i would have becomes a teacher because i think i'm just imagining having a place to learn and study now LMAO#i would love to live in a jewish neighborhood and have my home serve as a safe space y'know?#i'm probably too introverted but i would like to at least try this one day g-d willing#LMAO as i make this post i'm playing skyrim. and i'm making my follower pick up EVERY book i see in dungeons#because i have a skyrim library in my home(s). if i carried those books myself i would be SO overencumbered#I'm not beating these allegations either apparently
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"I will fall in love with you, over and over again."
"'Would you fall in love with me again?' The question is spoken quietly, even though there's no need for quiet, but something about how gently it's asked shakes Eddie. 'You ask that as if I would ever fall out of love with you, Buck.' 'Haha very funny, now humor me. Would you fall in love with me again?'" -------------------------------------- Basically Buck asks Eddie a question and Eddie answers it as best as he can for him.
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Tags: Cuddling & Snuggling, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has Abandonment Issues, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has Self-Worth Issues, if you squint cause like it's just a throw away sentence but yeah, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, they just love each other basically, that's it that's the whole fic they just love each other, and reassure each other that they would always love each other, No Beta We Die Like Buck did for three minutes and 17 seconds, or how Bobby did for like 15 minutes, Post-Episode: s08e08 Wannabes (9-1-1 TV), cause I mention it soooooo yeah gotta tag that appropriately, Canon Compliant, Kissing, just one kiss but it should be tagged, One Shot, Praying they aren't super OOC! We will see, first published work in this fandom so please be nice!
Complete | 1,714 words | Read on Ao3
#Guys! Holy shit I posted some writing this year SDVKDFNVBKGF#Madi's writing :>#thought I'd never see that tag come back#Shoutout to Foxie for telling me that I've got this and can post something before the end of the year! And lettuce as well! Turns out I can#and turns out all I needed to do was have the ithaca saga looping in my head for a solid 5 days and to write something in a discord message#to make it stick cause that is actually how most of my fics get written in discord DMs sDVLDFKNBGFBF#also part of this fic GOT DELETED while I was writing it in a discord message and I nearly weeped BUT WE PERSEVERED#buddie#911 abc#911 on abc#911 fanfic#9 1 1#9 1 1 fanfiction#9 1 1 on abc#evan buckley#evan buck buckely#eddie diaz#I do also have more 9-1-1 one-shots I can eventually post again it's just all about if I ever feel the need to finish them DVKNFDKVNF#so yeah if you guys read this thank you for doing so because This may have taken me only an hour or two and it may be short but it was fun!#okay I'm stopping procrastinating I'm posting this okay okay AAAA
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So, how about the Thousand Year Door remaster going by the game's Japanese translation, thereby confirming Vivian is canonically a trans woman?
This was such an exciting revelation to me personally that I decided to draw fanart of Vivian repping her trans pride... alongside a certain Koopa I haven't drawn in a little while! 💙🏳️⚧️💜
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Micah Koopa#Vivian Paper Mario#Vivian TTYD#Paper Mario#Paper Mario TTYD#The Thousand Year Door#Super Mario#Koopsona#Medibang Paint Pro#Coolness#Honestly? I never thought I'd live to see the day Nintendo include a transfeminine character in one of their games#Like yeah I understand that's how it's always been in the Japanese version but like#They could have just as easily copy-pasted the entire script of the English localization and called it a day#So the fact that they reverted the erasure of Vivian's trans identity for the remaster is... admirable actually#I own the original TTYD and have it... someplace. I never got very far so I don't necessarily have an attachment to Vivian#Though I can 100% see that changing with the remaster's ease of access— you just KNOW I had to draw something to celebrate!#Sometime soon I'd like to do a modern two-frame idle for Micah Koopa alongside Mario himself#Seeing as I have a sprite animation of her drawn in the style of Paper Mario on the N64#I'm basically just looking for excuses to draw her at this point.#Did you know that she has a butch Hammer Bro girlfriend? Once I finalize her design you may get to see her too... 👀
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Matthew 7:15
(my commissions are open!)
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#priest au#never thought i'd be captioning my art with a bible verse but alas. priest au#this one is unapologetic bait for a beloved mutual. teehee :3#the gist of priest au is pretty simple. nagito komaeda is a priest#one day someone new shows up to confession-- a very repressed hajime hinata#hajime has been struggling with. erm. homosexual tendencies. nagito promises to help him find peace with god !#thing is. um. nagito is not actually a very sanctimonious priest.#that's right babes it's weird repressed manipulation/corruption WEEEEEE all wrapped up in a catholicism cloak#that part's really funny actually. for me in particular. guy who has never gone to mass in his life attempts to utilize religious themes#help i was baptized lutheran and haven't been to church since i was 5 i have very little idea what i'm doing#relying on my knowledge of art history and nothing else <3333#well . friend google is there for me as well#oh btw the file for this one is titled 'i heart sacrilege'#just realized one of my signatures is missing the 'n.' oh well#too minor of an error for me to feel like fixing it lmao#OH before i forget. this is kinda a given on my blog bc i don't think ideas can be owned#but anyone is free to do things with priest au if they desire :) tag me tho i wanna see it
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People have talked about cringe culture and how it so often hits autistic folk the heaviest that cringe culture in itself is disableist, but honestly the same goes for cancel culture (like the actual thing not whatever certain celebrities make it out to be) and I don't think we talk about that enough. Like this cannot be the Autism Website or whatever you want it to be if you think harassment and talking about someone behind their back and telling them they are a horrible person and fucking suicide baiting is a proportional response to talking about things clumsily. To missing the point of a post. To having difficulty getting your point across so your words are easy to misinterpret. To being unable to tell when something is bad or mean or offensive because identifying that depends on identifying aspects like tone. To wording something in a way that sounds offensive but not realizing it. To not including everyone ever in your post because you didn't realize a certain group of people existed or that this might apply to them. To accidentally saying something that sounds like a threat when you just meant to joke around or talk about something personal. I'm sorry I know you want that Epic Own™ but if you want to be kind to autistic folks you've got to be kind to the Has Difficulty With Communication And Socialization folks. That's kind of a core part of autism for a lot of us.
#actuallyautistic#what's this? an actual post about a.utism during the a.utism month? never thought I'd see the day#kyubey.txt#disableism#suicide mention
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haikyuu new year's illustration by matsunaka susumu, director of the upcoming film
#haikyuu!!#happy new year#i'm actually starting the new year while in the midst of rereading haikyuu in japanese#spent my september rereading the entire series and a couple of days ago... felt the itch to do so again lmao#but doing it in japanese this time#never thought i'd reach the point where i could do that comfortably but here we are 🤗#and while it really hasn't been long since my last reread i am so invested again#haikyuu ilysm#tried going through the haikyuu tag to see if this was posted already and man is it ever an ordeal to do so#i gotta start blocking those x reader fantasies and whatnot posts more extensively lmao#ハイキュー!!
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Can you draw Black Caramel and Ergot together?
♪ I'm always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart... ♪
#Gonna be frank I'd never thought I'd see the day where someone actually requested me to draw my ARG characters!!!#So honestly I'm very happy about it!!!#ash pone arts#cookie run#cookie#cookies#crk#cookie run kingdom#rye cookie#caramel arrow cookie#RyeArrow
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Drawing a character for every day of Pride, 2024 edition
Day 19: Please for the love of everything that exists, read Skip Beat
#skip beat#kyoko mogami#my artwork#what's this? actually kind of decent Kyoko hair?#never thought I'd see the day
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recent things and such~
#photo diary#image 1 - kind of interesting lacy looking clouds. Image 2 - pinky purple sunset stuff#image 3 - These REALLY cool flowers I saw in a field ? growing wild so like.. weeds I guess. but I like the color of them and how the#petals are small and layered. Image 4 & 5 - More recent hair growth progress. I still think it will never get much longer because#it's been basically the same lenght for multiple years now BUT I do feel like maybe it's getting like... just the tiniest bit longer?? Just#not as obvious of progress as the first few years. Like now if I take it out of the braids and actually hold it so it goes straight down th#very tips of the hair on one side goes down to the tip of my pointer finger. and on the other side goes a little past my thumb. and I#remember maybe last year or two years ago it was only to my knuckles or like midway down my thumb. so.. perhaps it's not reached a#maximum genetic possible length just YET as I'd thought it had maybe lol.. perhaps I could slowly gain a cenitmeter or two#here and there gjbjh.. Unfortunately incredibly doubtful it will ever be down to my knees though as I had wished. oh well.#image 6 - writing again... as always... Slowly chipping away... And looking for ways to make it go faster lol. The original premise was 8#main characters with 6 quests for each. Then it was 5 with 6 quests. Now it's 4 with 4 quests each. And even that I'm like hmm... what#about having only 3... so it could be done faster... lol.. I think mostly just because I have no gaurantee of investment. So it's like#I could spend years and years doing 500.000+ words of writing and then have about 3 people total actually play the game and nobody cares#and nothing ever comes of it. You know? So I have to balance that somehow. And rather that put out the 100% complete version#be putting out like 'here's ENOUGH of it for you to see what the concept is and what it's like. and IF theres any investment then I#can put in the effort to finish the few bits that I left in more of a preview form'' type of thing. And then it's like.. well if I'm#limiting the initial scope anyway - how much is enough to cut away? and how much would be TOO much? etc. etc. I'm pretty sure I#already have it down to a balanced minimum but some days when I'm very stressed over my ability to actually finish anything I'm like..#ehhhh..maybe I could make another main character into a side character.. as a treat lol..#image 7 - cabbage noodle beef stir fry sort of thing. As usual I kind of cook the beef too long because I'm afraid of getting sick if it's#underdone despite preferring medium rare steak lol.. Funnily because usually making something at home has the advantage of you#being able to do it Exactly The Way You Like It whereas me cooking meat is often like.. ah yes.. the worse way that I dont even like. love#to make a tough chewy anxiously overcooked protein puck for myself. :3 Images 8 - 10 -- various plants from the deck. though#some of these pictures are old and they're no longer alive lol.. Most of my plants actually do live through the winter because I#painstakingly move them inside and outside and inside and outside depending on the temperatures. But sometimes.. one cannot#help but be lost. Especially the temperature change sometimes can make them more prone to mold and stuff. and humidity is#hard to control indoors. There's always one or two that deteriorate despite my best efforts. But that's better than every single one of the#dying because they alll freeze when it gets to 20F one night and I left them outside or something lol#ANYWAY.. hrm.. still working on friend quiz thing... and sculptures.. and videos maybe?? costumes... rghhhghhrrr.. (< to do list angst)
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dead by daylight-- the game where you can play as steve harrington from stranger things, and can get sent to partake in a match of murder hide and seek at midwich elementary from silent hill, where you can then use a lute to perform bardic inspiration from dungeons and dragons to give a bonus to your teammates, except for the one who is being chased by nemesis from resident evil 3.
#dbd#thoughts about media#yes steve's jacket is bugged. it's done this before but I didn't think it'd do it again.#better than whatever the hell bug aestri has rn with her face.#girl looked like the fucking unknown.#anyway I was lagging WAY. WAY too hard to try another match for a better picture with a different skin.#I just remembered I unlocked bardic inspiration on that day my internet actually cooperated and I HAD to see steve play the lute.#it's so cute. the survivors all smile when they play. T___T I have to see gabe. claude. and nancy do this.#but I'll wait until my internet isn't getting me randomly downed by zombies.#I'm pretty sure my lag got elodie killed too so I feel kind of bad but it is also sort of funny that I wasn't even playing-#-killer and still managed to get a survivor killed.#not that I haven't done that befoooore.... or that I haven't done it deliberately in the past...#I will never forget you RPD ghostface who showed me he had the matching “I'd kill for you” heart charm to my “hooked on you” one.#and then killed a david for me when I asked him as a joke LOL. we watched his body ascend in the entity's spidery limbs together.#it was a beautifully romantic moment <3#generally speaking I am a decent survivor who will die so you can get out. like a good steve player should be.#However. if the evil man that I find sexy is nice to me? I'm so so sooo sorry for what you're going to endure if he only wants to spare me.
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yall don't know platonic yearning like I do 😤
#all i want is a friend i can build a life with#we'll sleep in separate beds but occasionally we'll both get up for a late night snack at the same time and giggle about it#we'll call each other husband or wife while also having our freedom to seek out sex or romance outside of our partnership#there will always be someone to come home to and i won't feel the stifling pressure to perform romance for them#i want my future kids to be raised in love and friendship#i want them to know that they don't have to be a certain way in order to be loved#i want someone to hold my hair when im sick and let me cry on their shoulder when things are hard and stick up for me when i need it#i may never have this and it hurts my heart#ive told myself that being a single parent would make me happy because ill be happy as long as im not in a romantic relationship#but i don't know if thats actually true#ive resigned myself to that as a possoble future for me because being a parent is improtant to me#but there's this loneliness inside of me that I don't know I'll ever be able to get rid of#i thought i had a chance at the life i want with my ex and thats why i held on so long as tried to ignore all of our incompatibilities#but at the end of the day#hes a hopeless romantic and will always want the intense romantic love i can never give him and i will always resent those expectations#i wish things were different#personal#vent#aro tag#aromantic#platonic yearning#queerplatonic relationship#feel free to ignore but if you see this and also feel this way I'd love to commiserate :')
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Anyway asshole sneezed yesterday while I was driving and I nearly wrecked my car lmao
#snz kink#and he did it more than once too like excuse you#might as well have whipped his dick out smh#i didn't actually almost wreck tho I'm just being dramatic lmao#thank god he didn't bring up the fact that it's a kink again tho bc i might’ve fr wrecked ahdkalsk#but i was like 'don't do that I'm driving 😒' and he sarcastically apologized#to his credit he did try to stifle when he did it again but that was worse bc i felt bad lmao#'well don't do *that*' and then he snorted and rolled his eyes and was like 'there's no winning with you'#god he's so great to converse with even when we're playfully bickering lmao fuck#still crazy to me that I've never been into a cishet man before in my life and always thought I'd end up with a woman#just for the first person I've ever dated to be not only a cishet man#but also my fucking coworker after i said i would never date a coworker#hate this for me but also 🥰#also now I'm extra feeling some type of way about the fact that he sent me those voice messages while he was sick#like damn maybe that did do something to me ahdkkala#maybe I should listen to them again just to see 👀#nah I'm not actually gonna do that lmao I'd feel weird if i did#anyway rip to y'all who followed me for snz lmao this is basically just a simp blog these days#oh well it's my blog lmao#partner posting
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Guess who :3c (Patreon)
#My art#Webkinz#Diamond#Ukadevlog#Ghostkinz#Ta-dah! My November behind-the-scenes project was this! The poll was for this reason! Though I already knew I'd start with her haha#Have a little preview to start us off - I have Lots of thoughts to each part of development I ended up in but I want to roll them out slowly#Not everything all at once anyway haha - thoughts get all jumbled now that I'm on this side of things pft#I wasn't able to finish A Version I'd be willing to publish in just a month - even then I only worked on Ghostkinz about 3 days a week so#But for the time I spent I'm quite pleased with how its shaped up so far! :D I got to implement a lot!#Actually learning-then-implementing-then-learning-then-implementing - it's a loop I've been out of for such a long time now :0#Really interesting to fall back into after so long away haha#A lot of my other projects have been Pick Up One Thing and then do that forever and I was tired-tired of that!!#So going into this project knowing that I'd only have November to Get Guud at as much of it as possible and then that was it#I think it helped propel me - didn't end with me getting stuck on Perfecting Just This One Thing#I'd read a bit and then go utilize it and then come back and read some more of Zarla's template/walkthrough - compelling system!#I still couldn't manage to actually finish in a month but I got up to Phase 4!! Previous attempts at Ghost-making has gotten stalled at 1!!#Maaaybe 2 but never anything beyond that - and while I didn't actually Finish any Phase apart from 1 I still read through much much more!#On top of the learning aspect being fun ♪ getting to understand some of the more technical side ahh - it was also just fun to read haha#Like a course that can be silly hehe ♫ Enjoyable even outside of getting to make a little guy for my screen haha#But also yes that too!! I'm really glad I finally settled on an idea that I feel confident in seeing through#The best part about reaching for the Webkinz style is that Webkinz uses vectors - I've gone on record multiple times as loving vectors#They're an exceptionally easy medium to manipulate and that was The Thing that had been holding me back from committing to Ghosts prior#Drawing every single thing when I already struggle to plug in my tablet...no...... But Vectors#You can see here that Diamond's expressions are just a matter of tilting her head and moving her tail - so so soooo simple with vectors#Being able to super-quickly put out a lot of different expressions and animations and piecemeal everything together...yes..........#And for what further I have in mind :3c It's really all I could ask for in an art style to seek ah ♪ Just right for my purposes!#I thought it'd be nice to show off Diamond-for-real as her plush next to her digital version as well :D She's still the only OG8 I have#I want more!! I'd love to have a code for her as well haha - secretly just started this so I can have a digital Diamond lol#Plush-Diamond actually wears a necklace these days but I opted to leave it off her for the photoshoot - maybe once I figure out clothes haha
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