#never talks to anyone about stuff

[vesselmade-a]

okay one more thing before I sleep. something I really want to focus on on this blog is itadori actually having time to process his emotions and grief. I feel we moved on so fast from junpei and quite literally everything else that happens to him. I want him to be able to console in others, to have days when he can’t force a smile, nights when he can’t sleep. I wanna write about that. Because over time, let’s be honest…his smile fades

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

[betweenlands]

i need you all to listen to me. you know how youtube will sometimes randomly recommend videos with like, 58 views? sometimes the stars align and the fucked up algorithm does something right.

go out there and watch a smaller mcyter. sub-100k at the bare minimum, but ideally under 10k and even more ideally under 1000 subs. bonus points if they have in the low 100s to under 100 subscribers. watch whatever video you got recommended. watch another of theirs if you vibe with it. pick a specific series of theirs that you really like. subscribe to them.

now. this is really important. leave comments on the video or series you like. do a running gag if it helps remind you to comment. and more important than that: pick a story they're telling and engage with it. draw silly fanart even if you don't have any place to share it with them. write a tiny little story and keep it all to yourself. hype them up to your friends. get excited about this person's videos. if they do have a discord or whatever, send fanart, get involved in their community, et cetera, just --

i cannot stress enough how good it feels to have at least one tiny niche thing that's your special thing. it rules. the more you can get the better, in all honesty it doesn't even have to be an mcyter it could be an itch.io visual novel or something, just pick something obscure you stumble onto and hold it close and let it tell its story.

there will always be something there.

[urban-shade]

i may or may not make this a full iceberg video later but i thought it would be funny to make a pressure iceberg image

[theactualsunshinechild]

I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!

That's right. Two hands.

One for his chalk.

One for his codex.

Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....

Oh yes he would!

One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014

GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017

In fact he already has ☺️

[tariah23]

oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’

Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.

Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.

They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.

Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?

[sirfleetfoot]

RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1

Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.

[marsisnotgreen]

just a thought, but if almost everyone you used to work with is criticizing you, maybe you’re the problem 🤐

[royalarchivist]

This is what it feels like every time a new SMP has streamers I like

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Got an itch to play Sunless Sea again and it's always such an odd experience because. Like.

I know this game. Any other game, the level if knowledge and research I have put into this would make me a confident fucking master. And yet.

I can be reading text I've read dozens of times before and i still feel...not clueless, but absolutely off the mark. It all feels so familiar and yet I've never seen a victory condition. I've at least started pretty much every storyline but I'll still see something new each time I sink some time into it. I have a fucking JOURNAL of TRADE ROUTES and REQUIRED ITEMS and somehow that's only mildly helpful

That and the fact Fallen London's lore is so fucking batshit and honestly kind of hard to research (thr wiki's are frustratingly structured for me and the browser game is just. A bit inaccessible for me) means I can have a pretty solid understanding of what's going on in each port and what each faction is about and still ZERO FUCKING GRASP ON LITERALLY ANY PLOT

[musashi]

i know the ace attorney fandom is just racist i know i know i know its racism I KNOW it makes no sense i can't try and make sense of it but every time i think about how weird they are about diego using a fucking innocent pet name for his girlfriend i feel fucking insane and then you ask them to elaborate and theyre just like "pet names are gross!!!" and im like ALWAYS??? OR JUST WHEN A BROWN GUY DOES THEM??? WHERE AM I??? ARE YOU FROM MARS???????

[bijoumikhawal]

hello! i hope it's alright to ask you this but i was wondering if you have any recommendations for books to read or media in general about the history of judaism and jewish communities in egypt, particularly in ottoman and modern egypt?

have a nice day!

it's fine to ask me this! Unfortunately I have to preface this with a disclaimer that a lot of books on Egyptian Jewish history have a Zionist bias. There are antizionist Egyptian Jews, and at the very least ones who have enough national pride that AFAIK they do not publicly hold Zionist beliefs, like those who spoke in the documentary the Jews of Egypt (avaliable on YouTube for free with English subtitles). Others have an anti Egyptian bias- there is a geopolitical tension with Egypt from Antiquity that unfortunately some Jewish people have carried through history even when it was completely irrelevant, so in trying to research interactions between "ancient" Egyptian Jews and Native Egyptians (from the Ptolemaic era into the proto-Coptic and fully Coptic eras) I've unfortunately come across stuff that for me, as an Egyptian, reads like anti miscegenationist ideology, and it is difficult to tell whether this is a view of history being pushed on the past or not. The phrase "Erev Rav" (meaning mixed multitude), which in part refers to Egyptians who left Egypt with Moses and converted to Judaism, is even used as an insult by some.

Since I mentioned that documentary, I'll start by going over more modern sources. Mapping Jewish San Francisco has a playlist of videos of interviews with Egyptian Jews, including both Karaites and Rabbinic Jews iirc (I reblogged some of these awhile ago in my "actually Egyptian tag" tag). This book, the Dispersion of Egyptian Jewry, is avaliable for free online, it promises to be a more indepth look at Egyptian Jews in the lead up to modern explusion. I have only read a few sections of it, so I cannot give a full judgment on it. There's this video I watched about preserving Karaite historical sites in Egypt that I remember being interesting. "On the Mediterranian and the Nile edited by Harvey E. Goldman and Matthis Lehmann" is a collection of memiors iirc, as is "the Man in the Sharkskin Suit" (which I've started but not completed), both moreso from a Rabbinic perspective. Karaites also have a few websites discussing themselves in their terms, such as this one.

For the pre-modern but post-Islamic era, the Cairo Geniza is a great resource but in my opinion as a hobby researcher, hard to navigate. It is a large cache of documents from a Cairo synagogue mostly from around the Fatimid era. A significant portion of it is digitized and they occasionally crowd source translation help on their Twitter, and a lot of books and papers use it as a primary source. "The Jews in Medieval Egypt, edited by: Miriam Frenkel" is one in my to read pile. "Benjamin H. Hary - Multiglossia in Judeio-Arabic. With an Edition, Translation, and Grammatical Study of the Cairene Purim Scroll" is a paper I've read discussing the Jewish record of the events commemorated by the Cairo Purim, I got it off either Anna's Archive or libgen. "Mamluks of Jewish Origin in the Mamluk Sultanate by Koby Yosef" is a paper in my to read pile. "Jewish pietism of the Sufi type A particular trend of mysticisme in Medieval Egypt by Mireille Loubet" and "Paul B Fenton- Judaism and Sufism" both discuss the medieval Egyptian Jewish pietist movement.

For "ancient" Egyptian Jews, I find the first chapter of "The Story of the Jews: Finding the Words 1000 BC-1492 AD” by Simon Schama, which covers Elephantine, very interesting (it also flies in the face of claims that Jews did not marry Native Egyptians, though it is from centuries before the era researchers often cover). If you'd like to read don't click this link to a Google doc, that would be VERY naughty. There's very little on the Therapeutae, but for the paper theorizing they may have been influenced by Buddhism (possibly making them an example of Judeo-Buddhist syncretism) look here (their Wikipedia page also has some sources that could be interesting but are not specifically about them). "Taylor, Joan E. - Jewish women philosophers of first-century Alexandria: Philo’s Therapeutae reconsidered" is also a to read.

I haven't found much on the temple of Onias/Tell el Yahudia/Leontopolis in depth, but I have the paper "Meron M. Piotrkowski - Priests in Exile: The History of the Temple of Onias and Its Community in the Hellenistic Period" in my to be read pile (which I got off Anna's Archive). I also have some supplemental info from a lecture I attended that I'm willing to privately share.

I also have a document compiling links about the Exodus of Jews from Egypt in the modern era, but I'm cautious about sharing it now because I made it in high school and I've realized it needs better fact checking, because it had some misinfo in it from Zionist publications (specifically about the names of Nazis who fled to Egypt- that did happen, but a bunch of names I saw reported had no evidence of that being the case, and one name was the name of a murdered resistance fighter???)

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[starscream-is-my-wife]

A way too serious reading on Fire in the Sky focusing on Skyfire

The first impression we have of Skyfire is Starscreams vision of him. He says they were close friends before the war. Skyfire is portrayed as a representation of innocence, he is the last cybertronian to know what life was like before the war, and untouched by the horrors of it. When the actual Skyfire is revived, he is in the future in the middle of a war, where for him, he was just a while ago he was a civilian scientist. He knows that this isn’t Cybertron, subconsciously or not, he is essentially trapped with the Decepticons, and with Starscream, who despite saying they are close friends, Skyfire treats Starscream more like an acquaintance. However, Starscream is the only thing that he has left from his old life, so he would naturally stick with him

 It doesn’t take long for Starscream to establish control over Skyfire. Starscream who not only has a ranking superiority over Skyfire, but in life experience. He is 5 million years older, most of which was spent as a warrior, and as the second in command. He tells him that he will make Skyfire his second in command once he takes over. Skyfire thanks him, telling him that he will give Starscream credit. It makes you wonder if this is what their relationship was like before the war, if Starscream believes that being close friends means that someone is willing to be subservient to you.

Then his first encounter with the Autobots. This is where Skyfire is alone, and you can see his actual personality, albeit still under the manipulations of the Decepticons. They engage in combat but stop when Spike and Sparkplug are in danger. When Skyfire goes over to help them, he speaks very softly for the first time since his reactivation. A gentleness for organisms that shows his true calling as a scientist. He then tells them the lies that he was told, showing he does genuinely believe in what Megatron and Starscream told him, like he looks up to his superiors.

So, when Skyfire raises a protest to the treatment of the humans, Megatron warns him that he’s stepping out of line, but it was Starscream who tightens his leash. not hesitating to shoot his hand as a punishment. Starscream should know how Skyfire should love organics, but maybe he saw this as an opportunity to taint Skyfire even more. Skyfire was shocked but not to Starscream shooting him, but to why they wanted to harm the humans. He does not question being shot by Starscream at all, filling in a picture of them before the war even more. Skyfire had also said that these humans were his friends, despite most of their very brief meetings being the humans terrified of him. This also makes you think if Skyfire before had any real friends other then Starscream.

When cornering a group of Autobots, Starscream said that the years under the ice had diminished his loyalty coefficient. And once again you wonder, ‘how did Starscream treat Skyfire before??’

Even after acknowledging their old friendship, the moment Skyfire refuses Starscream, he once again, does not hesitate to shoot Skyfire for being ‘wrong’, the Autobots look on in horror for Skyfire, Ratchet and Hound even saying something about it before getting destroyed -in Skyfires eyes- by Starscream, who steps on him before walking off. Another display of establishing his control. In the very short time that he’s been reactivated, Starscream has already shot Skyfire twice for miniscule ‘mistakes’ and Skyfire doesn’t even question why he was punished so harshly by being shot, only thinking of others.

Ratchet fixes up Skyfire the best he can after revealing that they are functioning they get interrupted by Starscream who orders his trine to fire at will at the Autobots, not caring that they were fixing up Skyfire. Ratchet doesn’t leave Skyfires side, tugging at his hand and saying ‘I won’t leave you here’ before getting shot. Skyfire stirs, this is probably the kindest anyone has been to him after being frozen and losing everything he knows.

Skyfire does join the battle, on the side of the Autobots, finally seeing a way out from the Decepticon grasp, and literally throws Megatron away. He ends up fighting Starscream, who only a little while ago had such a positive view of Skyfire, is now willing to kill him permanently. It’s almost like he would rather have Skyfire dead then have a Skyfire who is alive, but does not fit the loyal subservient imaginary image he has of him in his mind.

Starscream has far more experience in battle and although they both crash, Starscream will show up next episode, totally fine. However for Skyfire, in his final moments, fires a blast to bury the crystals, and himself to save his new friends. Perhaps that’s all he knows, instead of landing safely, he did everything he could to be useful to the very end. But in doing this he found freedom from Starscream, in death.

(until he gets revived)

[i-like-forcefem]

Hi! I just wanted to know if you'd ever heard of a really fun forcefem game called Crossdressing in Camelot? It's a really well-made one that definitely put some work into cracking my own egg. You play as a "man" who discovers that they have a talent for magic, but oops! the best way to grow stronger magically is to be more feminine! It has some really well-written characters, some fun dialogue and plot, and is free on itch.io!

Never heard of it before and gave it a shot!

It’s quite fun! Though sadly moved a bit too slowly for me personally, I can definitely see the appeal!

It was fun to give it a shot! Please tell me if anyone has more forcefem recommendations!